#forgive me if I accidentally misunderstood anything

[animationismycomfort]

wait okay i need to ask genuinely because I'm not understanding very well. i promise im trying not to be rude

but how are mspec/bi/pan lesbians valid/a thing?

Lesbian quite specifically means "woman who loves women", therefore, someone who loves men or someone who identifies as a man, couldn't be a lesbian? It feels like stealing the term from... lesbians, does it not?? "words are just words, gender is made up" but these terms, these words, they do hold meaning, don't they? They were made for a reason, after all. Lesbians feel a bit... pushed out when it comes to certain things sometimes, if that makes sense. I'm a lesbian myself and I sincerely feel like this label isn't "just a word" really and this invites male-aligned people into our space. We made these words so that we can describe ourselves, not even just lesbian, more words than that of course. Most, it not all identities, were named so that we could put words to our identity. for us thats women who love women. I'm not fully educated, and I'm open to it, and sorry for ranting but the term just does... bother me a little.

most of my friends, who also identify as lesbian, agree to this sentiment, and I do feel it's important to listen to wlw who say these things, we feel pushed out of our own space by people who could very well have their own space without taking a word we have always used to identify ourselves and mixing it to have a different meaning.

I’m not really good for this type of question as I myself do not fully understand(mostly because I am not of that minority specifically)but I get using labels that might be strange to others to explain yourself which is why I’m open and greatly love people who use them as well

you might wanna ask someone who does actual research and has a big understanding about it I could recommend some if you wish I know a bi lesbian blog that could help or you could search some up as well

sorry I can’t help but as someone who doesn’t have first hand experience I feel like I can’t really give a good one

but I think they’re valid because gender can be complicated and so can sexuality and I think if people truly feel that these labels fit them then so be it

I’ve noticed most people who use these terms are mostly people with more genders

or with different romantic and sexual attraction

or or they themselves are a system with multiple different people in there

or or or it can be for people with preferences as well

doesn’t mean they have to be of that to use em but it’s the most common

I personally think if you truly feel that you are this thing

then you are

gender and sexuality are all about feelings are they not?

and these terms were made to explain feelings and emotions we ourselves back in the day could not understand isn’t that true?

so….why not in my opinion

I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but that might be an issue you yourself need to solve other then that I can’t give much else

also also how have y’all felt pushed out of your own space as far as I know mspec lesbians have their own?

as do male lesbians so how have you been pushed out of your own space?

I think you have some stuff to figure out but that you can do in your own time

though you again could find some help in the spaces and blogs I’ve talked about

either way I hope you find whatever your looking for

and I thank you for trying to understand and for being brave enough to ask even with your complicated and pretty strange views

[shuenkio]

Accidentally - ❤️‍🔥

Paring: Hyung line x male!reader

Genre: nsfw 18+ (don't like don't press)

Cw: mentioned of sex [d] toys a lot, no sex.

Summary: Your delivery sent you the wrong package.

Non proof read :') lmk if something is wrong.

Crd to all pics&dividers

Below cut !

Lhs: you were still in a deep sleep when he went to open the door for your delivery package. The moment you woke up, rubbing your eyes to start your day, Heeseung was sitting at the end side of your bed, glaring at you in disbelief. You asked him what was wrong. And he throw you a package that he received for you. You open the unwrapped package when you see a giant dildo inside, and also a transparent one. Your eyes went wide like you just have seen a ghost. Wtf a dildo!

"What. The. Hell. Is. This Hyung!" You almost stutter, having a feeling that he probably misunderstood you for ordering this thing.

"I should be the one to ask you. A dildo? Is my dick not big enough to rail you up? Tsk such a waste" he scoffed, irritated with you as he huffed the hot air unbelievable.

"Excuse me!! I did not order such a thing, why should I order this massive toy when in fact I order a fucking skincare package" You fire back, your blood rushing to your cheeks in a heat emotion. You observe the name tag on the little note and show it to him, tapping your fingertip on it aggressively.

"Put your eyes here and SEE" Heeseung takes a glance at the name tag before realizing it's not your name on it and he signed the confirmation wrong without thinking. Which left him stunned in the place, unable to speak. As the guilt started to wash all over his body, embarrassing.

"I- uhh haha just a misunderstood... My bad mn I should've looked more carefully, please — forgive me" He kneeled, begging on the floor, as he had made a really big mistake, his hands were rubbing against each other, asking for your forgiveness.

You leave your bed, with burning cheeks as you stomp your feet furiously to the bathroom. Heeseung keeps on pleading for your mercy, even if you don't give af about him.

"Please mn~ speak to me i swear I'll do anything hm? Any dare just anything whatever you say! Do you want my body? I can be naked the whole day to please you baby uhh y- you want your skincare I'll go get it real quick for y-"

Sigh, you let him go as your toothbrush still pulsing inside your mouth. Shaking your head in annoyance seeing that he would do anything just to please you, giving you a warm feeling inside, as your madness for him faded away.

Pjs: You accidentally sent the wrong location for your delivery, which will arrive by the next day. However as the next day comes, you've called your boyfriend Jay to pick up your package for you and explain how your clumsy self, sent your delivery wrong location. He brushes it off, thinking you probably ordered useless things again, so on the way to your apartment, he takes a peek what's inside before discovering two 25 inches dildos, his mind goes blank, and flabbergasted makes his not-innocent eyes even dirtier.

When he arrived, he greeted you with a tight hug as usual. But oddly, he gives you a small gift instead of your wrong package.

You furrowed your eyebrow skeptically, as you opened it to see what was inside.

"Love... Why are there so many condom boxes?" You asked boldly, straightforward question him why, as your face turned even more red when a grin started to spread across his face.

"I just checked your little box, honey, ~ you should've just told me if you want my cock so bad for pleasure, don't be such a coward for that" he leans down at your level, as his eyes darken, full of lust and desire, explained that he's eager for bedtime.

"Wdym love I don't understand -" you respond, still not ringing the bell. You want to ask him with full force from your chest why but you choose to assure him kindly.

"Haha I've seen two dildos inside your box honey, and it's longer than a human's size could reach. I can't believe you're so wild in this field" Jay chuckled softly under his breath as he mentioned what he saw, drawing you more to the edge to see it with your own eyes.

"W-what? I don't order those kinda toys though. I ordered a new book that was just published yesterday, Jay! You're sure you're not wrong?" You reply, telling the truth with your heart pounding inside your chest.

Jay tilts his head, checking your package once again carefully word by word, as his eyes lay on the name that's written with someone else name.

"W—wow um... Sorry, God, I am super sorry, I can't believe this" The truth was revealed, when he dropped the box down, and covered his flashed face with his palm, ashamed at what he just brought to you. Boxes of condoms.

You wheezing on the spot, laughing your ass out like there's no tomorrow, Humiliated him even more. You pause your snort for a sec before steadying yourself once again.

"Don't be embarrassed love, I know what's in store for us tonight with your little gift mwah"

Sjy: today was your date, it's happened that he came to pick you up so early, giving you no time to react, quickly grab your clothes and towel, rushing in to shower in the bathroom. He takes a sit on the chair inside your bedroom. As his eyes began to explore the decorations, he saw something on the bed sheet.

He didn't want to touch your pieces of stuff without your consent however, the urge to feel it getting out of hand, made him want to open it up, ripped to shreds to see what was inside. Eventually, he did but he didn't tear it into pieces. He unties the wrap on the box, as he learns that, inside the box has a horse dildo, a fucking horse dildo. His expectations went wild, he thought you would order some nice stuff, daily life items or something but a sex toy. Instead of shocked, he's amazed.

After you finished dressing up, you saw him sitting on your bed, giggling all alone, back facing you. You tap his shoulder for his attention, he turns toward you with an enduring horse dildo.

As a result, a gasp left your mouth, catching you off guard. He encounters the wrong package on your bed, where you forget to hide it.

"Jake it's not what it looks like, the delivery man sent me the wrong box you've to trust me" you reassure him nervously because you know that once he's turned on, nothing can stop his beast.

He stood on his feet, slowly closing the gap between you two, as he wrapped his hand around your waist tight.

"Idc what your reason is, you're responsible for my hard cock underneath, now bend over for your bf~"

Psh: The same goes for Heeseung. When you're busy cleaning the house upstairs, he went to pick your package up as soon as he heard there was a delivery. He signed without a glance, and didn't even bother to care about what was inside.

After the intense activity of cleaning the whole room upstairs, you take a break together with Sunghoon. At the same time, you settled for lunch times, scooping all the food, and enjoying your time after all the sweat.

Once you're finished eating, Sunghoon gives the box to you on the table while he's still eating. You let out an excited noise, overjoyed that your order had arrived faster than you thought.

Your hand started to unveil to unbox the lovely new earphones that you've always wanted, however, instead of the headphones, a fat massive inhumane dildo exposed on the table with its brown color, detailed veins and even hair pattern on the dildos.

As soon as Sunghoon caught sight of it, he choked on his food. Almost spit out all the foods he had just eaten.

"Fuck me you almost killed me with your damn dildo," He said, half surprised and half choked, gulping down a glass of water to pour the food that stuck in his throat.

"Hell nah, they sent the wrong one but— who tf ordered such a wide-length toy omg" The dildo is not only big but also massive at its length too, catching you taken aback by your discovery. Sunghoon then pressed his finger to feel it before letting out a rich laugh.

"I wouldn't be so surprised though if you order a real sex toy but you can always just use me right?"

"You talk nonsense again stop—" He cut you as he snatched your hand to feel his cock that's semi-hard inside the fabric right now. As he pressed your hand rubbing harder, begging for your touch without a word.

"Use my cock like a dildo mn~ I'm more than happy to offer myself for you, raw and even more tasty"

🗣️ please mind my English! ><

🗣️ Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥

🗣️ lack of perfect words ;-;

Ps: This is the wildest shzt I ever write 😗🤌

Anyway thanks again pookie for supporting this writer 🥰🫶.

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xvi. (wc: 2.1k)

The atmosphere was tense in Yangyang and Dejun’s shared living room as you tried your best to avoid Jisung’s longing stare, directed straight at you. You had arrived earlier than the set meeting time, waiting by your best friends as the others arrived one after the other. To your dismay, and Jisung’s small amount of luck, said males had to run to a store quickly for snacks before, and he had ‘accidentally’ arrived early as well as you, meaning you both would have to sit alone in the living room until everyone else showed up. Naturally, he attempted to use the time carefully, trying to talk to you immediately and even stepping in for a subconscious hug when you opened the door for him. You had just frowned and stepped further away from him, causing him to reflect your expression and sigh. 

Although he had tried to shyly start up a conversation around four times, you gave simple and short responses in hopes of putting that to an end. He took the clue eventually, remembering how you asked for space and granting you exactly that, figuring listening to you would make you forgive him more quickly. His inner dialogue encouraged him, telling himself it was just a matter of time - I mean, you both are soulmates. He was sure you’d hear him out soon enough, as long as he followed your requests respectfully. 

Nonetheless, you almost regretted your choice of awkward silence as you began to feel holes burn into the side of your face. Looking at the male sitting on the opposite side of the couch, he didn’t even try to hide his stare, simply blushing at being caught yet continuing to gaze your way. 

“Umm… Is everything okay?” Eventually you let out the question, wanting to raise awareness to the fact that he was shamelessly observing your every move. “No.” His answer was quick, determined almost, yet the look on his face remained the same - long, yearning, and pleading. You hadn’t expected him to actually answer your question, and the look of confusion on your face grew at his response. “What’s wrong?” You decided to ask, hoping it might distract him and change the look that was beginning to overwhelm you. “You’re so far away. You shouldn’t be so far from me, Y/nie.” You could tell there was a second meaning in his words as his eyes glazed over yours intensely, contrary to his shy behavior from earlier. Regardless of the metaphor behind his sentence, he waved his hands between you two, signaling the actual physical distance. 

You nodded, holding in a breath yet choosing not to move closer. You felt extremely weary around him, that the distance almost didn’t feel like enough, if anything. He misunderstood your nod though, taking it as approval to slowly inch closer to you. He knew to leave a foot or so between your bodies, remembering your warning once more, yet his long arm moved near you, gripping onto the cloth of the couch next to you in place of your own hand. Noticing how close he was, you spoke up quickly. “Jisung-” “I know. I… I’m giving you space, just… Please, it’s been so long since I’ve felt you.” Almost as a visual demonstration, he finally hooked his pinky with yours, shifting his body to face you, yet you shook your head at the action, removing your hand and placing it on your lap. 

Jisung frowned, and let out a sound of retaliation that almost resembled a whine. He noticed how you tensed up and looked down at your own lap though, deciding to abide by your unspoken rule; yet he only moved his arm back, staying in his spot that was merely a couple of inches away from yours. 

It became your lucky day as the door burst open, revealing both Yangyang and Dejun, as well as the figures of Donghyuck and Renjun, who were all appearingly arguing. The luck faded as Renjun looked your way, eyes widening. Neither of you had realized it until now, but it had been very long since you had seen each other. You had reached out to him several times throughout the occurring conflict, yet he never responded, making it obvious he had ‘sided’ with Jisung, and not you. 

Everyone else, including Jisung, blurred away as you looked into your old best friend’s eyes. They were both sad and surprised, you could tell. Renjun had always been reclusive, never outwardly reacting to anything, yet you knew him well enough to understand how he was feeling. You stayed in that position, simply looking at each other for a minute or two. The rest of the guests had moved to the kitchen, following after the snacks, except for the two of you, meaning there was no interruption for the moment you were sharing. 

After a particularly shaky sigh from his mouth, he lifted his hand, waving at you lightly and attempting to send you a small smile - one that resembled the same as the one he gave you at the mall when you were so convinced he was trying to hurt you once more. The boy’s heart dropped once he realized a tear had fallen down your cheek. You reached out with a jacket-covered hand, wiping it off and quickly looking away from him. Wanting nothing more than to approach you and hug you, which was extreme considering he really didn’t like physical affection from most, his plan to do so was ruined as you stood up, rushing towards the kitchen and ignoring his small yelp of protest, as well as his footsteps which clearly were rushing after you and the light call of your name that left his mouth. 

The tension followed you both as you made your way next to Dejun, almost shielding yourself from Renjun with his body. Understanding your desire to avoid him, he decided it’d be best to wait until you talked to him first, nodding to himself and standing next to Donghyuck who was taking his time raiding the grocery bags placed on the kitchen island. 

If Yangyang and Dejun noticed the awkward atmosphere, they didn’t say anything, yet it became painfully obvious as you now had not only one but two males staring at you intently. One was gazing your way with a painful, lovesick stare, and the other a more cautious look, filled with concern. What both faces shared was the amount of regret that could be detected in their eyes. It was clear in the way that you avoided both that you didn’t want to make amends with either, to their misfortune.  

The tension was slightly eased as Yangyang spoke loudly, calling for everyone’s attention. “As I mentioned, we already kind of have a basis for the plan. We don’t want it to be intricate or anything too dramatic.” He started, ironically enough, pulling out a notebook full of worded ideas and strategies that basically screamed both intricate and dramatic. “Yang, put that away. I already know what we should do.” You protested, sliding the book towards Dejun who nodded and slipped it into a random drawer. “It’s not hard. I just have to ask to hang out, he’s been asking to meet again already anyway.” You tried your best to miss the way Jisung flinched at your words. “I’ll invite him to my place,” his frown grew deeper, “and then you guys just wait and approach him once he’s there. I don’t think he’ll lie if he’s confronted by so many people.” “But what if he leaves?” Donghyuck asked, noting the possible flaw, “Then it doesn’t matter. We tried. I mean, we all know the truth by now. I don’t think he’s my friend so I have nothing to lose. It’s up to you guys to decide if you’ll keep him in your lives.” You shrugged, phrasing your words in a nonchalant way yet of course, Jisung protested quickly. “Keep him in our lives? He ruined everything, Y/nie. There’s… there’s no way we can stay friends.” “That’s okay, you don’t have to then.”

He shouldn’t have assumed that you’d be moved by his words, yet your response made him shake his head, and the dam that had he been holding back finally broke. He moved from his place around the island, coming close to you and clearly directing his words to you only. “Y/nie.” “Jisung, please. It's… There’s nothing more to say.” “Yes there is. How can you think I’d ever keep him in my life when he took you away from me. You know more than anyone that I love you.” You sighed at his panicked rambling, cringing slightly as you realized this was going on in front of everyone. His hands came to hold your shoulders, encouraging you to look at him as he professed his feelings for what appeared to be the hundredth time. “Do I? You’ve done nothing to show me you love me in the past month.” Your words shut him down almost instantly, and his lip wobbled as he held back tears. Instead of arguing, he just placed his head on your shoulder, almost as if it was second nature, and it was then that he finally let go, starting to cry once more. Looking around for help, you were slightly shocked to see Renjun, who you had always seen as the most level-headed friend you’ve had, reflecting Jisung’s state. You had expected a judgeful look on his face, maybe even a scoff, yet you came across a frown that paralleled his friend’s. If you were to look close enough, you would even see the tears that prickled at his waterline. 

Not knowing what to do with the heavy body of your ex-boyfriend that was embarrassingly clinging onto you in front of the group, you just patted his back awkwardly, hoping the reassurance would make him regain composure, yet his sobs grew and his hold on you tightened, feeling touched by the fact that you were initiating contact with him at a certain extent. It was the first time you tried to comfort him since you had broken up, and it made him feel even worse. The fact that your touch had become unfamiliar to him made him want to cry until he passed out, which he was set on doing until your pats slowly ended, and were replaced by the hand of Donghyuck, who pulled the taller male off of you finally. “Let’s go, pal.” He led him back to the living room to take a breath, or that’s what you assumed at least. 

The whole scenario was odd, and had only worked to increase your stress. Dejun noticed, poking Yangyang as if it was a signal for him to comfort you. Renjun had followed along with his friends, leaving you alone with the two. In response to the poke, Yangyang moved near you, holding you in a half-hug and kissing your temple. You’re sure if Jisung saw the small peck, he would burst a fuse and either cry or try to fight the male, and the thought of it made you giggle, contrasting the tears that were building up in your eyes. Both of your friends smiled at the sound of your laughter, and after a while, you gained the courage to re-enter the living room to dive into the specifics of what the plan would be.

Jisung saw your retreating figure, quickly brushing Donghyuck off his side to make an available seat next to him in hopes of feeling your warmth once more, yet the hopeful small grin was wiped off his face as a loud body fell next to his, belonging to Yangyang who was rambling in what appeared to be gibberish about a random topic he was fighting with Dejun over. You decided to sit next to Renjun, and his eyes lit up slightly in your direction, almost as if he was unspokenly thanking you. Although you remained distant next to him, you began to scheme about the possible ways you’d lure Jaemin into your apartment. Deciding with sending a quick text, five bodies hovered over your shoulder as you began to carefully craft and type out the message, sending it right after. It was decided that you would ask him to meet up next Wednesday, for help with garden work - you didn’t even own a garden. 

Unsurprisingly, his text of agreement came quickly after, sending you far too many emojis to appear nonchalant and cool. Donghyuck began to mock him for his usage of the images, yet was quickly silenced as Renjun pulled out his own phone, entering the messaging app and exposing him for the hypocritical liar he was.

a/n: hai... it's been a while... sorryyyyyy guysssss :ccccc :////// I'M BACK! with a slightly longer chapter in hopes of making you all ignore the fact that this took me a week or two. deep ocean updates coming soon too dw ^_^ hope u all had a good halloween if u celebrate <3 you all knowwww i was busting down doors in my costume even though i'm old enough to be paying bills.

btw if you're in the taglist and it keeps sending you notifications SORRY! i always do it wrong so i have to edit it again like a million times... idk if it notifies you every time i add you again :/ </3

taglist:

@dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun

@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu

@lizzieray

[leighlew3]

I've been thinking about this a bit lately, and there was a small misunderstanding when I dipped my toe (and then whole body 😂) into the SC / SG fandom, i.e. a few people unfortunately thinking I was trying to mislead or exploit fans in some way, because of others from this industry who used and lied to fans in the past re: a different show. And while that was unfair to paint me with the same brush without knowing me, I can understand where they could’ve had concerns because of wounds caused by others.

Hopefully people understand by now though that wasn’t the case. As I’ve said so many times before, if nobody around here ever consumes anything I write? Cool beans! But I’m both a professional in this industry and a lifelong fan girl and that’s not gonna change. And I’m going to talk about both my career and fandom stuff. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, I do hope people know by now that I’m here for the right reasons, and always have been. And I always will be. But if I ever did anything that made it come across otherwise — I truly apologize. I mean it, seriously. Any misunderstandings that I might’ve inadvertently caused through making a dumb math joke or expressing that fans should always have hope and fight for what they believe in, etc — if it upset anybody in any way or wasn’t expressed properly by me at the time — I feel awful.

While I can’t do anything about a couple people who twisted my words or intentions or even flat out lied about stuff being said or done that never happened — I do want to own any part I had in it by not more quickly clarifying or shutting that stuff down. I really do feel bad about all that, because all I’ve ever wanted to do was show love and be understood and connect with people and fight for the ship and fandom, and I’ve done that online (and behind the scenes in ways that I can’t even talk about) for years now.

I adore y’all, and I will always be a Supercorp fan. I’ve always been (brutally) honest and an open book, but I’ve also just been passionate (and sometimes sadly misunderstood) by the occasional little pocket of people. And that sucks. But I don’t hold it against them, and I hope nobody holds that stuff against me.

I'm posting this now, because after losing my mom this year and with the holidays coming up, I've been reflecting a lot. And I realize that life is too short for grudges or misunderstandings that can be corrected or made amends for, so I hope people know that I love y’all and appreciate y’all and any past minor conflicts or accidental misunderstandings — even if it was just with a few people — really sucked, and I hope there can be mutual forgiveness.

Anyway, I don’t expect everybody to like me or agree with my perspectives, or even approve of how I go about expressing myself. But we can’t control anybody else in life. All we can do is control ourselves, self reflect, and work towards growth. Thus, if I ever did anything to make anybody — even just 2 or 3 or 10 people — feel any kind of negative way, that's a big oops on my end, and I'm sorry.

And if some of those people still feel like it was entirely justified to target me so intensely the way they did — hey, bygones and I forgive it — and I still want to offer nothing but love and hope that the future brings better things for us all. For real.

TLDR: The last 5-ish years on a personal level have been incredibly difficult, and the last 6+ months have been emotional hell, but the ship between Kara/Lena and the SC fandom as a whole has been there for me in the most incredible of ways (through humor and fan art and fanfiction and friendships and lions and tigers and bears). And I’ve tried to be there in return, as much as humanly possible, and as authentically as possible.

And that’s why the little percentage that didn't like or trust me — I hope we can metaphorically hug it out and move forward and I hope I’ve made some progress in your perception of me over time, but even if not — or hell, if it’s gotten worse for some reason, I’m going to continue to show love and support towards this ship / fandom and fight for our LGBTQ community. Because I truly care. Even if I’m human and make some mistakes along the way, past or future. Even if people misunderstand me sometimes.

All I can do is my best. And that’s all I’ve ever tried to do...

Love y’all. 💜

P.S. If you’d like to chat or seek to be unblocked or whatever, send me a message via a burner or on Instagram DM or somethin’ and we’ll chitty chat and hopefully hug it out. I’m down. Cheers. 🤙

[running-in-the-dark]

just now realising that it's kinda weird that every damn thing I did as a kid, even accidentally, still gets dragged out all the time as proof of how mean and bossy I was.

meanwhile one of my brothers stabbed my other brother with a screwdriver and it's just so funny. one of them jumped on my back when we were fighting and hurt me so bad that I couldn't get up for an hour (and I got yelled at). one of them broke someone else's property on purpose and it's just a funny anecdote about how he and his friend had to pay for the damage. they stole cash and very expensive alcohol, so funny and cute. they got drunk all the time and started smoking at 12.

which is all fine. people do stupid things as kids. but it sucks that I'm always the difficult one, the one that causes trouble, the mean one. the worst thing I ever did was drop out of school because I was too terrified and depressed to keep going. this is somehow proof that I was such a difficult child to raise, so hard to be around. not that my parents completely failed me in every way, or anything like that.

my brother attacked me this year. but that's totally excusable because surely he had his reasons (yeah, I disagreed with him and wouldn't back down. great.) and I probably just misunderstood (how?!) and anyway it wasn't really that bad. he yelled at me for daring to disagree with him, insulted me and then grabbed me when I told him to get out. but he's just having a hard time and can't express his feelings well and can't I just forgive him?

but I'm bad for things I did when I was 15 or 10 or 5 or literally a baby. I'm bad for things that never happened. I'm bad for things that other people did. I'm just bad.

[pagodazz]

OKAYYY,,, SOO I HEARD THAT YOU MIGHT WANT PEOPLE TO ASK MORE

Soo,, I ask of you

Evan headcanons

:] not forced though !!

YAYAYAYAY!!! MY FAVVV GUY IN EVERRR, I have so many thoughts about him please forgive me if I ramble on and on.

Evan Myers is deeply misunderstood. Like, you all can talk about how you love him and how hot he is, but none of you ever seem to grasp his story and just how complex and beautiful it is. It's so insanely tragic.

And I don't just mean the fact he ate his own friends and child either. Don't get me wrong, of course that is a major part of his story, but ITS ONLY A PART OF A MUCH MUCH BIGGER THING.

He has so much to offer, so much to give, he's full of so much love, only to be possessed by something who is so hateful.

The conflicting thoughts he must of had in his head, the nights he probably spent very wide awake holding head in his hands just repeatedly hitting himself trying to to knock out the poisonous words HABIT is feeding him.

Knowing Evan, he's going to act like he's completely fine the next day, and of course, Vinnie will always be the one to notice. And Vinnie will always get Evan to open to him and he'll do anything to distract Evan from his thoughts.

-------------------

To me, Evan is a really confident yet deeply insecure guy. he's really good at deflecting his feelings by using humour, even if he's aware he's doing it or not.

He's set up basically an invisible border to get through, If you're able to kick past all the the jokes he makes you can see how deeply he's hurting and how much the things in his life affect him.

But even though he's got this sadness in him, he's VERY MUCH SO A PARTY GUY.

He's the life any party, everyone will always have their eyes on him, he will always be doing something to make someone laugh or to make them swoon, he's just that kind of guy.

He's like the type of guy to grab his friends by the hands and force them to dance with him in the kitchen even though there's absolutely no music going on.

He'd probably say something like, "You just gotta feel it man."

-------------------

I think Evan himself is a violent man. especially after years of being inHABITED, I think his brain struggles to separate his own thoughts from habits sometimes, he still has deep internal blood lust, something that can only be soothed by taking the life of the one who wronged him.

That being said, I don't think he enjoys that part of himself AT ALL. to the point where I think he would start trying not to touch things out of fear of destroying it or killing it.

Like say you gave Evan before everything started a kitten, he would be silly with it and mess with it.

But if you gave Evan AFTER everything went down a kitten??? he's gonna hold it like he's never held one in his life. He's gonna look at it with wide eyes, That sweet innocent life on his face, Evan doesn't want to see that go away again, hes almost never in control of his body, but he's always left with the memories. He'd basically force you to take the kitten back before he could accidentally cause harm.

I also think that this applies to people too, we see him being very very affectionate with his friends in the beginning, but later on, of course we don't get that. If anything, the most him and Vinnie can do is sit side by side.

They both would ache for some kind of affection but, Evan is afraid of hurting him and sometimes, Vinnie is a little afraid of getting hurt.

------------------------

I believe that of course like most other slenderverse characters, he has horrific night terrors. But I personally think that his might just have some of the worst.

His nightmares probably include the things HABIT has done to his many victims, and it's probably in extreme vivid detail too.

It's enough to wake him up sweating and running to the bathroom because the shit is so horrific it makes him sick.

Usually after those nightmares he'll take a cold shower and he'll go to the kitchen and get water and he'll most likely be met by Vinnie who hasn't slept yet, and they'll end up talking on the couch until Evan passes out next to Vinnie. Being next to another person probably brings him alot of comfort. (even if the man he finds comfort in is betraying him.)

----------------------

in a good world if the baby lived and slenderman wasn't around, I think that Evan and Steph's relationship probably would not have worked out in the end and Evan would be the best single dad he could be.

I think he'd have his own apartment and he'd throw away each cent of his paycheck to his rent and to spoiling his daughter.

Of course Evan wouldn't be raising her alone, Steph would still be around and they'd be best friends, just not lovers. (Steph is a lesbian, and she's in love with Jessa ‹𝟹) And I think Evan would of course have Vinnie and Jeff to help.

I think they'd actually all be roommates, considering their house is actually one, it just seems right to not separate them.

Evan needs his guys and they need him.

I also think he's just got that divorced dad energy, where he's pulling up blaring his dad rock and he's gonna drive too fast and recklessly, and he's gonna go to a gas station to get food instead of stopping at some fancy restaurant, but it's still one of the nicest times anyone could ever have.

----------------------

PLEASE I HAD SO MUCH MORE I COULD'VE SAID. I LOVE HIM BAD. I JUST. yeah.... so I don't talk too much.

[probablynanobots]

Pica and Lead and Breath and Air

A long history of picking things up and putting them in my mouth has led me to a few instances of accidental swallowing of things that ought not be swallowed. Since I like to know what could be causing anything I find to be different about myself, I have been exploring symptoms of things that all my friends with autoimmune diseases, depression, developmental issues and all sorts of divergencies.

In my exploration, I found an old friend. A bumbling scamp that we kept trying to adopt, but they kept accidentally biting us in the ass.

Everybody, meet Lead. They are still just a puppy.

They don't know any better and piss all over everything they think is neat. Unfortunately, their piss is poison to us, so it has been causing problems this whole time.

If reading about these symptoms makes you think your parents might have lived in a lead-heavy zone, take some Tums or Pepto Bismol and have a lie down for a bit. Think about the fact that your pain and anguish isn't your fault. That lead is a long lasting and misunderstood element that could potentially be impacting you even though you are safe from it now.

Remember lead.

Remember that we don't use it in paint or in dishes anymore, so it isn't going to poison us.

Remember that lead protected us from some things, but it also blocked out things we needed.

Forgive Lead.

Let go.

Heal.

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 14: My So-Called Life 1x05

This episode always affects me emotionally, like way more than I think it should, or that I think it should still. I don't know what that says about me. But the conversation between Angela and Patty where Angela talks about her perception of herself as ugly made me cry, and the ending gets me teary-eyed every time, too.

I really will hand it to this ep for going so hard on its theme. Literally every character, story line, even background item, was all pointing toward the theme of insecurity in one's physical appearance. I especially liked the details of the Shakespeare with makeup and the ever-more-defiled anti-smoking poster. Even characters without strong individual story lines get a little something--like Graham trying to floss again, or Bryan feeling insecure about all the couples.

I also liked how genuinely optimistic and heartwarming it was... Like, very few people exhibited any malice at all. There were the girls in the locker room being mean about the model on the magazine, and the nameless, faceless boys behind the list of sophomore girls. But for the most part, people hurt each other entirely accidentally, or, it might be more accurate to say, people hurt themselves, by attributing negative thoughts to others. No one cares that Angela has one tiny zit on an otherwise flawless face. No one thinks Patty is old and ugly. Kyle, representing the Himbo Jocks, likes Sharon for her personality as well as her body. Bryan doesn't care that Rickie wears makeup; if anything, he seems mildly interested in it all.

And when Angela and Sharon say hurtful things to each other, or when Angela says hurtful things to Patty, they end up talking it out later and not just forgiving each other, but talking out the reasons for their arguments. Every time characters left their own bubbles and shared their thoughts or insecurities with other characters, they were rewarded: Angela and Patty realizing they'd completely misunderstood each other, Angela and Sharon recognizing their shared insecurities, Bryan and Rickie bonding over their shared sense of themselves as outcasts, and the group in English all finding something to identify with or that was resonant in the Metamorphosis.

I really liked that conversation with Jordan, Brian, Rickie, and Sharon about the Metamorphosis. Yeah, that's an obvious story to track to adolescence, and that's fine, but I liked how... they were both characters speaking to their own themes and teenagers having a decently realistic conversation about a piece of writing. The analysis isn't necessarily deep, like Sharon's comment, but it's true to their experiences and the sort of things that would stick out to them, especially encountering this text for the first time. And Jordan... maybe this is just me seeing him as an adult, but what a sweet boy, at the end of the day. The way he encouraged Brian, a kid he barely knows, to go after Rayanne.... And the way he says that he thinks it's "plausible" that one could die of loneliness, especially in the context of his own housing insecurity, and the way he says it so subtly but thoughtfully, really breaks my heart.

It's interesting that this is the second episode in a row that's really focused on the Chases, this time another Angela and Patty parallel arc, with fairly little time given to Rayanne or Jordan, even though both characters were introduced in the pilot as sort of the instigators for Angela.

I'm not sure enough time was given to Rayanne. I see her promiscuity, especially now as an adult lbr, as a sort of cry for help. There must be something wrong with her, as the voiceover says--because she's not bothered by anything, or because she IS? I'm still convinced she has a thing for Angela. The way she was looking at her (looking super pretty in that dress), even though I know it's just 'let's all look at the main character syndrome' further convinced me.

My mind has been wandering a lot this whole time and it's also 11:30 somehow so I think it's time I got to bed.

[wingsd]

She had managed to slip back through the corridors, unbeknownst to those still arriving downstairs, or the guardsmen that trailed behind her often heel on toe, to keep her within their sight. She had always been one to disappear, into the walls, into mischief. Perhaps even as a child, her curious nature became her in a way that it was now. Perplexed as brows furrowed, the bags laid out before her anew than they were before. She takes a few quiet steps, glancing over her shoulder- the hallways were empty. Surely, it was within her own right, to be-- misunderstood. An error, she surpassed in judgement because how could she know, the stuff was not hers? Little did the others know, the leather from her travels was imported from her late husband's travels. On holiday, he'd gifted her the bound leather as a marital gift. So of course, she knew the luggage was not of her own. Still, she steps forward, first peering with her eyes- only for then her hands to nimbly, accidentally with purpose, knock over the gear unto where it falls to the ground opening. A peering gaze, she kneels to pull the seethes of fur from it's belonging, holding it beneath the light that warmed around her. She had never seen anything like it, the fox boot now also at her feet as she raises the coat, her fingertips sifting through the fur. She misses this- surprised with artifacts from lands farther than she has traveled. She missed the surprise, of opening the traveling cases as her husband returned from his wares, excited to voice his stories for her as she packs away for his next venture. There's something quite.. sad about it, something familiar in the scent. She's slipping the coat around her frame, allowing the fur to gently feather against her cheeks, as she peers forward, a few pages of a book-- barely allowing the chance to skim the pages when the voice echos and her chest tightens in a startled gasp.

She'll quickly remove the coat, folding it in her hands in front of her, and bows her head. "My lord-" It's a fainted breath, the highs of her cheeks warming to a heat. "I apologize-" She's setting the coat down. "It reminds me so much of something I have myself, I could not be sure." It's not entirely the truth, but not entirely a lie either. Her husband had many coats like this, when visiting the north. But rather to linger on her own discrepancy of invading his privacy, she's straightening. "I-- We should not linger." She's taking a few steps forward, and out the doors he'd entered from, only when realizing.. she's still holding the coat. Her footsteps stutter, halting and though her back is facing him, you could almost see the moment she realizes. "Forgive me." A heightened pace now, her cheeks reddened, she's entering the bedchambers again and setting the coat down nearly the door, draped over more of his traveling gear.

@wingsd | alara hightower

There must have been a mix up. Once Rickon arrived to his assigned chambers, the room was eerily empty. His chests were not many, but there were enough to last him however many days it would take for the festivities to end, and he was desiring nothing more than a quick bath and a change of festive garments. It took four staff members to finally get to the bottom of his missing belongings, and when he finally got the answer he was looking for, Rickon was far too irritated to allow someone else to handle it from here on out. The door was left slightly ajar, and having found no guards at the front, he assumed the room had been empty -- so he let himself in, only to be taken aback by the vision of a woman digging through his things. "It's unsightly, isn't it? The fox boot? They were a gift. I fear turning them down would have caused great offence to my lord brother." he does not step forward any further, nervousness soaking his demeanour as he realises the two were alone. It was not proper. "Forgive me, my lady. It appears you and I share similar taste in travelling gear -- hence the mixup."

[sciderman]

what made you headcanon wade as nonbinary? was it anything in canon or just queer projection?

wade's been GNC in the comics for a long time! like, a long time! and often times it's not played up or explained by any sort of reason - he just... he just wants to dress that way.

it's something that dates back to his childhood, even, so - it's a deep-seated part of wade's identity.

i don't know if i intended him as nonbinary when i started writing him in ask-spiderpool, GNC for sure, for sure - but wade wilson has always been full of gender feelings. think about this moment all the time.

i think this might've been the spark for nonbinary wade - a wade wilson where - femininity and love are intertwined concepts. when wade feels love, he feels feminine.

it's echoed in the movie, too! (the blog predates the movie - and so it was so exciting to me that the movie carried that same sentiment - wade feels girly when he's in love.)

i've kind of latched onto it and ran with it - i think something nicieza (beautiful idiot. deadpool's daddy and my favourite deadpool writer but - beautiful idiot. he said so many stupid things and i forgive him regardless) said stuck with me too.

i suppose it was some misguided answer to questions on wade's sexuality that he misunderstood - but i've been feasting on it.

yeah. fuck yeah. nonbinary wade (accidentally) confirmed canon

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

I’ve seen people shut down all critique of the lore stream as “people expecting a moral like a kids show!”, and while I’m sure that there’s some people saying that, I think that’s a misunderstanding of the issues a lot of fans have.

There’s a difference between not having an intentional moral, and simply handling a topic that's incredibly personal and traumatic to a lot of people in a way that’s uncomfortable, and I think the latter is what I've seen a lot more of. Having a dark ending isn’t bad, but the issue was people seeing the framing as placing all the responsibility of understanding on c!Tommy- the abuse victims- shoulder while glossing past c!Dream doing things like laugh at his suicide attempt and continue to torture him in ways he knows are extremely physically and mentally agonising to c!Tommy, and c!Tommy apologising for essentially being a troublemaker being treated like he's the one in the situation that committed some unimaginable sin, and the way he placed blame on himself there was unclear enough it could easily be misunderstood as him blaming himself for his own abuse.

Now, obviously, none of these are intentional issues, and the CCs we’re trying their best, but these things are not only uncomfortable to a lot of abuse survivors but accidentally perpetuate dangerous myths about abuse in a way where the narrative framing portrays it as correct. Many victims are expected to be the ones to forgive their abuser and treated like they’re more at fault, and any sort of imperfection and slip up is used as an excuse to justify their harm, and these are implications that should be avoided. Not spreading dangerous misinformation isn’t the same as having a moral lesson, and unfortunately, this sort of rhetoric hurts people and seeing it reinforced is an understandable thing to critique, though people going after the CCs and being aggressive are crossing the line.

More than that, I’ve seen the issue be raised at the appalling treatment the finale got by the fanbase, and that’s also a worthy critique. Some of the stuff I’ve seen victim-blaming c!Tommy has come so close to the exact same sort of stuff I’ve had used against me that I’ve genuinely started crying, and I usually have thick skin to this sort of stuff. The fact that it’s being normalised to call c!Tommy and c!Dream mutually abusive, or to describe the harm they caused each other as in any way equivalent, or say that it justified and provoked the abuse c!Tommy experienced in any way at all is not only genuinely concerning to see spread unironically by a fanbase of vulnerable teenagers who don’t have the best knowledge on this shit and show no sign of realising that this wouldn’t be okay in real life, it makes the fanbase extremely inhospitable to abuse victims, and it’s unfair to expect THEM to have to leave something that’s a form of comfort when they’re not doing anything wrong.

Fiction is not the same as reality, but also every piece of fiction- from the smallest piece of hobbyist writing to multimillion dollar blockbusters- has its effects on reality. And most of the time that’s positive! Most of the time it’s spreading joy and positivity! But it can also cause harm, and it’s important to acknowledge that in a nuanced fashion instead of treating a very serious issue that real life people are effected by like a lore discourse issue- and I’m saying that to everyone.

Like c!Dream and sympathise with him all you like! Enjoy the finale all you like! Find your own catharsis in it all you like! There is no wrong way to enjoy media. But, if you’re going to be handling sensitive issues around people who might be effected, it’s important to try and show some compassion to those who might be hurt by it- and online, that means you’ve always got a chance of being around people like that. Messing that up by accident isn’t your fault, or a moral failing, and the CCs shouldn’t be condemned, but people genuinely hurt by it or the fandom's response meanwhile aren’t doing anything wrong for being upset, as long as they don’t use that to harm others.

[mo2k]

since you do these cute things..what about moots as cute winter holiday related things/situations. ships with this would be so cute

hi nonnie! ahhh tysm luv, although please forgive me if i did anything wrong or misunderstood anything! i have not much of ideas nor did i know some farther info than giving & receiving gifts, christmas tree, santa — in other words, only the basic things cuz uh i live in thailand + i’m a buddhist bahahaha 😅🙏

@kotcp x sanzu (sorry ran —) : buddy game, a simple game, in which your buddy would try to take care of you and bring you at least one present on christmas day. sanzu wasn’t really interested in this game… but he’s more interest in you ♡ perhaps that’s the reason why he joined in the first place, whatsoever, on the christmas day (let’s say he’s been taking extra care of you for the past few days, but you didn’t say anything. and today 25th dec is the final day). when you’re about slung the bag off your shoulders, a gift was presented on your desk. you tilted your head and look around for a bit in case the sender was still around and that he or she might misunderstood smth. but to no avail, you turn your head back and, out of sheer curiosity, you decided to took a peek of what’s inside. surprisingly, the box was filled with lots of cute stationery stuff. you immediately recall that these was the ones you once fleetingly muse that they’re so cute and you want them. eh that time… wasn’t that when you went out with sanzu? the first assumption popped in your mind before another and another soon follow, although, your attention was caught by the little note that fell from the box. it says ‘i heard you want ‘em… don’t you dare say you can’t keep them and return them to me. i’m your buddy and that’s my duty, they’re yours now. merry christmas ja :)’ ‘p.s. i’ll come pick you up after school ‘kay? let’s go out on a lil date, i don’t take ‘no’ as an answer <3’ — sanzu. 55555 มีแฟนแบบนี้ก็เหนื่อยหน่อยนะคะ merry christmas นะคะเจ้ <33 (i’m sorry my hands just slipped — - < -)

@quirrrky x kuroo : ice skating. kuroo, in my opinion, is an excellent ice skater. i can practically imagine him tease you a lot bc thinks you sucks at it (ofc just to annoy you - < -), nonetheless he takes your hands in his and took the lead. telling you to relax, all the while still encouraging sneering 🙄 you that ‘c’mon babe, you can do it i’m sure. or perhaps you really can’t? hm what do you say?’ (am i allowed to give him a kick please? 🙂) anw — and oh don’t you have to worry if you accidentally fell or slipped — cause there’s always a strong pair of arms that’ll catch you <3

@pyobeul x itadori : sleigh riding. this combination… 👀 you both give me a feeling that you’re super energetic. speaking of that, this activity came to my mind. idk what it’s really like though (thailand doesn’t have snow —) but it seems like fun and really does suit you two! either you or him suggest this idea, in the end, there’s only you two cried from the top of lungs out of thrilled and excitement.

@trimisu x osamu : welp it’s christmas! what’s better than cooking / baking some homey delicious food? alright there — anyone wants some cookies? oh be prepared trish, there’ll be lots lots of food that i swear you’ll be even more than stuffed 💖

@bubble-bootie x shoto : he takes you to the amusement park. this man silently hope that you would enjoy it. from the glowing bright light, the blasting roller coaster, cute carousel, the soft snow that starting to drizzled down, to your intertwined hands. i bet that the sweetness of the candy floss in your other hand couldn’t compare to your boyfriend ❤︎

@solaxena x bakugou : self-care bby <3 bakugou hates winter, since it really has lots of impact to his quirk. but. he does enjoy some small part of it. like doing some self-care with you, can be either lying down wearing face masks or applying some lotion or anything else. he’d be a bit more clingy than usual too so expect to be wrapped in his arms. he needs love, and he needs you. even though he won’t accept it… (don’t believe him bby —)

@bakubub x eren : heh idk why but from pure intuition eren’s curled up in a ball within your cozy house, sick of being so pathetic due to the cold. you call him out to play with the snow outside. at first his answer’s a big no but not before the ‘aw is my tough boyfriend perhaps afraid of the cold’ slipped from your mouth. you’re only mocking, yet eren already swore he’s not gonna loose this fight (this’s also a fight? srsly? titan man ya gotta get a grip — oops sorry i’ll leave him to you <3)

@sillykawa x oikawa : snuggle up on the couch together, your favourite comfort show / your choice of christmas was playing on the television. the air was freezing cold, but somehow you still feel the warmth spread across you… perhaps by the presence of your lover :)

@moon-mars-ikemen x baji : drinking hot cocoa together <3 whaaa you and him together are absolutely the cutest! imagine sitting under a christmas tree with him while maybe even having a small feast, s’mores are a must!! who knows that clanking the hot cocoa mugs together could somehow be another nice way to welcome a happy new year ♡︎

@justanawolf x manjiro (mikey) : snowball fight, with mikey, i believe that there’s only fun. he was simply planned to throw just one and laugh at your face — but he clearly wasn’t expecting the large pile of snow to hit his face back ^^

@devildreamers x bokuto : sing christmas songs together! this man loves to sing, and would be even more glad for you to join! sing darling, he loves your voice. the night will surely be filled with joy and happiness, just be careful, cuz your throat might hurt afterward 🤡 (i’ll go make honey tea for both of you —)

@arquitecturadelanada x midoriya : making a snowman. hmph what can i say? you both are just so soft ‘n cute, and making a snow man together? ack — *dies* it’s too adorable!! you look out the window absent-mindedly, something about the snow seems so captivating to you. if it wasn’t for the voice that breaks you out, “um… elle?”. you turn your head after the caller, blinking a bit surprised, “y-yes izuku”. his eyes fall to the ground while fiddling his fingers, a gesture that tells he’s nervous. “do you perhaps… want to make a snowman outside?” you paused for a moment, before the smile of realization hit you. you nodded, heart blooming.

@1-800-asuka x akaza : game night. “aughhhh” akaza groaned frustratedly. this is probably the 5th or 6th round already after the game started. and yes, i know what you’re thinking, akaza loose more than half. it’s not really often to see your tough & strong boyfriend loose this much, well at least not with you. however, you can totally notice that although he keep on loosing, he got better and batter as the game continued. but alas — he still failed once again. you only laughed wholeheartedly, amused by your boyfriend who’s starting to throw tantrum. that kinda make him a little more touchy… and then, akaza suddenly pulled you in, making you gasp. roam his hand around your waist. you immediately know what’s gonna happened. despite your debating, a ticklish feeling comes rushing in your senses. ‘there he goes again’ you thought while laughing him uncontrollably, begging him to stop. “are you gonna apologize now?” he asked with a riase eyebrow. “yes — yes yes — please just stop” you panted to caught your breath. akaza smiled and give you a small peck on the nose, which you giggling in return. what a wonderful night, isn’t it?

@kitacharm x kita : decorating a christmas tree. kita really gives me a big vibes of mastered in decorating — *cough cough he’s literally an expert even if it’s his first time* so, he’d most likely invite you to try decorating, too! you can do / design everything as you wish, since it’s your own christmas tree. it’s totally unique, but stunning. oh and kita would also love to bring you some tea or hot cocoa, with also some some snacks while you’re at it! hmm fantastic <3

@lonefloric x izana : kissing under a mistletoe. now don’t get me wrong. i deem izana as a very gentle & sweet person when he’s with you. he wants to show you how much he loves you, although he knows well that no no matter how much he said or show it, it’s still not enough <3 so this time, once again, was a typical way of him saying the silent ‘i love you’ as he cupped your cheek in his warm hand and placed his lips on yours ♡︎

@beautifulblhell x ran : a surprise. you have no idea what’s going on. ran’s hands were covered over your eyes, resulting in darkness shielding your vision. “where are you taking me?” you giggled, and he only shrugged, “just wait ‘till we reach there”. your eyebrows slightly knit underneath the veil-ish. dw tho, ha lemme tell you, once you’ve open your eyes, you were surprised with the dress you’ve once mused you’d love to wear, but it’s already here. and it’s yours. “merry christmas my love” a soft kiss was planted on your cheek.

[b612sunsets]

To everyone that ever doubted Yohan, how does it feel?

I believed in him and was on his team from the start. To me this man was always the most direct and honest in everything he did, if you wanted to believe in him or not, it was your problem. The only thing he kept a secret even to Gaon was the reason for the fire starting but I still believed he had a good reason to keep it a secret like everything else he gave us proof of doing with good intentions.

He was indeed the "Jesus" in this. He had the biggest heart. When he loved and cared about you, he'd do anything for you and stay loyal until the end. When Elijah as a kid accidentally took away the only person Yohan had on his side, he did anything he could to protect Elijah of knowing she was the reason behind it even if it meant looking like a monster and being hated by her and misunderstood by everyone else.

When Gaon betrayed him and tried to kill him, Yohan said he could if he really wanted to, if it was going to make him feel better, but was worried he would regret it for the rest of his life and warned him about it and when Gaon discovered what it felt like to be betrayed (by the professor, the real devil judge like myself and others suspected for some time now) while Yohan was getting arrested, he found time to feel worried for Gaon and call him "Gaon-ah".

He sacrifices himself for the people he loves and is able to forgive them. And Gaon was his Judas that in the end realizes his mistake and regrets having betrayed Jesus and ends up dying (I hope Gaon doesn't die tho, nor Yohan or Elijah). I just love this man so much. He deserves to be happy for once... and people should try to watch things with more attention instead of just judging what they see without thinking about the big picture and learn to wait for the truth (mostly the twitter and youtube fandom)

[hadeskitchen]

Took this from another blog but, how would the ROs react if they were arguing with the MC and accidentally said something that really hurt the MC and the MC just turns around and walks away?

Love this one.

Shar Patil

Like a machete thrust into a balloon, Shar felt regret pierce their ribcage, popping their lungs. Their chest deflated and idiotic pride trickled out. A bitter taste lingered at the back of their throat.

They wanted to chase after them, to place their hand upon MC's shoulder and absorb the pain they'd inflicted, taking it upon themself instead. But guilt arrested them. They wished their mind was as loud as it normally was, but it fell quiet. From that unnatural silence, one thought screamed at them. A cruel, shrill voice masquerading as Reason.

Of course, that was too far. How did you not predict this? I bet you did. You knew you'd hurt them and said it anyway. Why? What's wrong with you?

The thought of doing nothing sickened them, but what were they to do? What could they do?

No, MC doesn't want you. Someone else - someone better - will comfort them, console them in your stead. Let them go. They deserve to be free of you.

Each receding footstep hammered into Shar's heart. Once MC was gone, they left, weaving their way through the Garden until they reached the orange grove. They sat at the base of a blooming tree, desperately hugging their knees to their chest. Hours passed. Shar's face remained expressionless, their body completely still. Alone, they stewed in a serene silence they'd give anything to hear.

K Ishida

It took K a moment to realize what they'd said. When they finally did, the muscles in their face went slack. They felt their heart snap in two, the fractured pieces tumbling into their stomach with a heavy plop.

"Oh, gods, no," they had to stop MC, to try to take it back. "Wait, MC!" K covered the ground between the two of them with long, easy strides. They wanted to hug them but thought better of that. Unsure what to do with their hands, K shoved them into their pockets, shoulders hunching. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking."

A thought hissed at them, You never do, dipshit. K winced.

They begged MC, their voice slow and grave, "I don't know what I'm talking about. It's like you said, I'm a stupid idiot." They wanted MC to turn, to shout at them, but they didn't. "Please. Please. I don't want you to forgive me. Just tell me you know what I said isn't true. Please, tell me you don't think that about yourself."

Finally, MC stopped. The silence which hung between them felt as heavy as the hole within K's chest. Their brows furrowed and they felt their lips quiver. "I'm so sorry."

Cecil Gray

The exhilarating flush of victory warmed Cecil's chest. A sneer flashed across their lips and a rough chuckle bubbled out of their lungs.

You won.

Pride bathed them in intoxicating splendor. They'd felt MC's confidence shatter beneath the weight of that last blow. But something stung; as if shards of MC's broken spirit were embedded in Cecil's flesh. The pleasant warmth in their chest continued to grow, becoming uncomfortably hot, almost suffocating. Is it possible they were wrong?

No, you won, the same voice from before insisted.

But what did they win?

Cecil couldn't help it. A disturbing uncertainty leaked out of the forgotten corners of their consciousness. The part of themself they'd locked away decades ago cried out, mewling like a starving kitten.

Instinctively, they swatted those thoughts aside. Blind hubris clubbed Cecil's insecurity and weakness into complicit silence. The heat never relented, but the burning sensation dulled as their heart was cauterized.

In time, they felt nothing at all.

T Sarpong

T sighed, their eyes rolling into the back of their head. It wasn't meant to be serious.

But it hurt them. Does your intent matter?

With a scoff, T shook their head, but they didn't feel as confident as they wanted to be. Why should they apologize? People who misunderstood them were the ones at fault.

Ah, yes. People should understand you whenever you want them to. It's not like you intentionally obscure all genuine aspects of yourself, drowning your motives and opinions beneath oceans of sarcasm and deceit. Only a fool would struggle to understand you.

MC was leaving. Time was ticking down. A decision had to be made.

What was the right answer? As they considered it, the meaning of "right" shifted. Normally, the right answer was the one that supported their goals, but they'd become more and more concerned with what was right for MC. For once, they weren't the important variable in this equation.

The person that chased after MC, tapping twice on their shoulder, the person who whispered, "I'm sorry," unable to look them in the eye, that person was the most genuine version of T MC had met.

Adonis

Panic spun through Adonis' head, tossing his thoughts aside like motes of dust in a whirlwind. He tried to calm himself, to reframe his sentences from their point of view so he could properly apologize. He wanted to do this, but despite the wild activity stampeding through his head, anxiety rendered his mind blank.

"Styx," Adonis whispered. He was supposed to be better than this. Disappointment flowed into his psyche. Sure, MC had hurt him, but that didn't give him the right to make them feel as he did.

His mind had begun to settle and diplomatic impulse regained control. Adonis followed after them, deciding on the best response.

"MC, I apologize." They stopped but didn't face him, head turned slightly, not looking at Adonis, but aiming their ear in his direction. "I acted rashly without regard for your feelings and without considering the full impact of my words. I sincerely apologize." He bowed his head, the weight of guilt like a heavy shawl round his neck and shoulders. "Though I seek it, I do not expect your forgiveness and until you request my presence, if you ever do, I shall leave you be."

*Context for the next one: for Hero to get into a verbal argument with someone, they'd have to really piss her off

Hero of Thebes

Hero glared at them, nostrils flared and horns angled out. As they left, the blood rushed from their head into their limbs. Their mind slowed. Their chest grew cold and their hands grew hot. Their legs became heavy as if their hooves were made of lead.

Horror dawned across Hero's face as they processed what happened, a torrent of conflicting emotions clawing at their insides.

The look in MC's eyes as Hero had delivered that final insult was burned into their retinas like the afterimage of a raging sun. Hero couldn't escape it no matter where they looked. Hero felt MC's pain and resented themself for having caused it. They wanted to run to MC and beg for forgiveness, but they couldn't.

Hero had hurt MC, but MC had also hurt Hero. Their words had left invisible cuts across Hero's flesh and the idea of seeing MC again drizzled lemon juice into those fresh wounds.

Hero didn't know what to do. They ran to the other side of a marble pillar, sat down, and began to cry.

After a few minutes, they felt a hand on their shoulder. Hero looked up and saw Julio kneeling beside them, sympathy welling in his eyes. Without a word, the two embraced. Hero sobbed into Julio's shoulder and quiet tears rolled down his face.

[thebladeblaster]

@lacunasbalustrade Okay, I didn’t think that you would take it that way. I wasn’t as considering as I could have been with my words and apologized for that. Cyberbullying? I agree that I wasn’t thinking clearly. Waiting would have been smarter. That’s why I decided to wait till the morning to read what you said. I wanted to clear my head so I could think about what you were saying. I don’t blame for misunderstanding I may have misunderstood what you meant.

This is from the heart♥️ . I really wasn’t thinking clearly back then. That’s hindsight. As I said it’s hard to judge tone from text. I didn’t consider how you would take my words. I will make sure to not try to say stuff at 3am and think about my words more carefully. I’m very bad at that. I made a mistake I doing that.

As I said before I hope we can get past this. It’s fine if you have unfollowed me. I didn’t choose my words very carefully and made some poor judgement. I really don’t know what you mean by “pain that enslaves you”. That felt like an insult. I was trying to explain why I said those things so you could understand my perspective. I will forgive what you said anyway because it doesn’t seem like you meant things to come out that way like me. I would say more, but I don’t want to accidentally put my foot in my mouth. It’s fine if you don’t forgive me either I should have thought more about my response.

I just want to clear everything up so there isn’t any bad blood. I’m sorry that things got so heated and I will own up to my mistakes. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Another entry in my Aichi has always series: Aichi has always been the leader of Q4 change my mind

Even before he was the official leader of Q4 Aichi has legit acted like the leader. Think. Aichi is the glue that holds the team together and allows the others to tolerate Kai. Aichi is likely the only reason Kamui stuck around when he couldn’t stand Kai. He is ALWAYS the one defusing the tension. He’s the one always trying to assure the others and he fights the team captains every time (except Tetsu because Ren wasn’t there)🤣. In the first Nationals he was the one devising the order of the fights and he takes on the burden of responsibility when they lose.

The reason G’s Q4 always felt off to me because Aichi wasn’t in it. Like this dude is the heart and soul of the team.

Without Aichi there is no Q4.

He was always the leader Asia Circuit just made it official 🤣. Kai was the leader on paper and only accomplished team wise: Being so much of a jerk his teammate nearly left, literally quits on them at a pivotal moment, does literally no team management, and driving Aichi apeshit (though he did give like two pep talks and they were both to Aichi).

Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

[herstarburststories]

Treacherous

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader

Summary: You finally fall for Demon!Dean's charm and give yourself to him.

Warnings: oral sex (male receiving), language, smasgt.

You grimaced when your feet touched the cold ground of your bedroom, although it was still strange to think about that place as such. After all, it had been years sleeping and not sleeping in a room shared with Dean. To glare at the walls and not to find any rock bands posters or accidentally trip on one of his adult magazines was at the bare minimum. But then, there was nothing you could do about that. Accepting a demon version of your boyfriend’s invitation to stay in your and Dean’s old room was completely out of limits.

Dean, or his demon self, as you needed to remind yourself more than you’d like to admit, was living in the bunker again after an unsuccessful attempt of curing him. Castiel had said that maybe the cure didn’t work out as all of you intended, but it could’ve somehow reminded him of humanly emotions in a deeper sense. 

Cas had been resting in the bunker more than usual just to make sure that you and Sam were safe. When he wasn’t there, the angel would be busy looking for another way to cure the eldest Winchester. You and Sam had been searching as much as possible, outside of Dean’s protests against it.

‘’Personally, I like the disease. Come on, guys. I’m still me, just better,” he had said right before he started looking for a new case.

Shaking your head, you rose up from the bed. The clock appointed two in the AM, reporting your obvious insomnia. A sigh escaped from your lips as you walked out the door, silently pacing towards the kitchen. Perhaps a cup of water would help. If you were lucky, the chocolate bar you had left in the fridge would be there still.

The frosty breeze from the refrigerator on your face was near to a midnight relief, which caused you to smile softly. Its light was your only company while you looked for the forgotten chocolate bar, until a deep voice spoke: ‘’You have been avoiding me, sweetheart.’’ 

You turned around with a swift move, mildly surprised by his sudden presence. Dean smirked at you, half of his face concealed by the darkness that the refrigerator light couldn’t reach.

You huffed. ‘’It’s two in the morning, and I just came to get some water, Dean. Let’s not start it.’’

‘’But I wanna start it, (Y/N). Come on, it’s been days.’’ Out of nowhere, he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, the blackish shadows enveloping both of you. You gasped, placing your hands on his chest to separate you two.

‘’Let me go!’’ You groaned at Dean, pushing him away, but it didn’t have any effect. If anything, he only pulled you closer. You couldn't see anything in the dark. Yet, it wasn’t quite necessary. His breath hitting your cheek was warning enough of how close he was.

‘’I get it, (Y/N). You miss the good ol’ Dean, but he is gone for good, sweetheart. I’m all that’s left. Don’t you miss me enough to want me like this?’’

Before your answer, he held you. Pressing his body to yours, you felt his semi erect cock against you. You pursed your lips together in an attempt to keep the clear pleasure of feeling his body to yourself. You didn’t need to give him such satisfaction. Besides, he wasn’t your Dean.

He wasn’t your Dean, you had to remind yourself. What was pretty complicated considering how close you were, and how many wonderful memories were attached to similar situations.

‘’What? Cat got your tongue?’’ Dean smirked, moving his hips against yours. A weak moan left your lips. He grinned, leaning him to lick your neck with no scruples. ‘’Or demon did?’’ Although his voice remained harsh and deadly sexy, even his tune had changed. The way he laughed was treacherous, like everything about a demon was supposed to be. You should be scared. You should be mad. You should be anything but attracted to what once was your loving Dean. People didn’t see a demon and fantasize about getting in bed with them. They ran away and started searching for a religious solution to protect them. Right now, it seemed like you were praying to stay with the devil.

Deep down, it was him. There was a fragile, tiny voice in your mind that insisted for you to believe that. He was still your Dean, damaged as fuck, but the man you had loved for years. All your rationality told you to run away, to push him, scream at him until Sam woke up, just so you wouldn’t have a way near Dean again. You had been doing it with ease for three days, but it was only getting harder.

And this Dean made sure that your self control wasn’t the only thing getting harder. His clothed boner was still pressed against you. It grew more excited as he bit your neck, right on the sweet spot where most of his marks were left behind before.

You sniffled softly, which could be easily misunderstood by a low moan. He felt like your Dean. He looked like your Dean. He had your Dean’s memories. But he didn’t laugh like your Dean. He didn’t touch you like him, either. He was more assertive, certainly rougher. Even his mouth on your neck right now showed that. Still, he was too close. After months. He was here. Not quite the Dean you cried endless tears for, but it was enough for tonight.

You needed it. You needed Dean Winchester in whatever shape he would come. No one could point fingers at you for that; they didn’t know what it was like. He could not be your Dean, but he could love you like he did. And if that wasn't possible, he could fuck you like Dean used to.

Unseen tears rolled on your cheeks as you pushed him to the wall. You didn’t dare to make any further noise. It took Dean a second to understand what was going on, but an ill-natured smirk conquered his features when he did. He surely as hell had a good amount of memories on how you enjoyed sucking him off back then, as much as he loved eating you out for records. Your knees met your ground like a prayer’s would, but you weren’t looking for forgiveness. Pretty the opposite, you jumped right in the sin. There was no one, not even a higher power that could stop or help you now. You had crossed the line as you unzipped his pants and got rid of his jeans as fast as possible. 

‘’You have no idea how much I missed your mouth, sweetheart.’’

When your lips touched the tip of his hardness, you didn’t feel any relief. It wasn’t a matter of just wanting to have sex with him. It was a necessity. Much like an addict getting another dose of the drug, there was no heavenly, rose-colored feeling. It was just a fulfilment of a need. You needed him, and who could blame you for that? After all you had been through, after fighting every instinct in your body to keep a safe distance, after seeing him die and come back only to lose him again. Maybe the Winchester was your perdition, like many people had told you before in a futile attempt to give friendly advice. Maybe you had achieved the limit or love had ultimately made you crazy.

Your body was shaking in abstinence as you finally put his trembling cock inside your mouth, not taking time to lick the drop of precum like you usually did to tease Dean before doing what he wished. His eyes were closed, head resting against the wall as he bit his lower lip. His precum was being cleaned up by your experienced tongue moving around his length. Your hand grabbed what wasn’t in your mouth yet, moving it up and down to make him more excited.

‘’Fuck, (Y/N). Do it, get all of me in that pretty little mouth of yours. You always loved it, didn’t you?’’ Dean’s groans were an evident desire for you to give him more, but, on your knees, it seemed like you were the one begging. Begging him to stay, to love you, to give you anything to hold on to. And if sex in the kitchen while Sam was sleeping and Castiel was doing an angelic version of rest was it, then so fucking be it. 

You coughed a bit as you got more of his dick in your mouth, until your hand was completely replaced. You moaned against his cock when it hit the back of your throat. It only incentivized him even more. Dean’s hand finally found your hair, his fingers running through the (Y/H/C) sea as he asserted the rhythm. As you expected, he was fast, rough. Just what you needed.

After everything that happened to him, since the mark of Cain to his resurrection into a demon, you had been broken. And all your tiny, little pieces together were looking for him. Now, your mind was long gone, and all you knew was Dean Winchester. He was there. He was alive. He was with you again.

You sucked his cock, trying to follow his lead as much as you could without choking. Your tongue swirling around, up, and down his length. The grip on your hair tighter as he increased the pace, searching for his climax. Your pussy was a wet mess since you got on the ground for him, but you allowed your hand to slip into your panties and rub your clit as your mouth was fucked by Dean. 

‘’Fuck, (Y/N). I’m coming. Will you be my good girl and swallow all of it?’’ Dean continued moving your head and his hips violently, your fingers caressing yourself as his cock bumped your throat carelessly. He was almost there, and so were you.

Your name left his lips in the form of a loud howl. It almost didn’t sound human. Well, it could always be the demon in him. His semen invaded your mouth as soon as your hands got dirty with your own climax, and all in your head was him, his name, the feeling that always accompanished his touches. You couldn't help but want him to keep close to you, a vivid reminder that he was there. He pulled away from you, and you almost whined, wanting to crawl closer to him. Fortunately, Dean didn’t plan on being apart from you for more than a few seconds, soon leaning forward to grab your jaw. The perfect angle for the refrigerator light to brighten his face. He looked at you through his lashes, indigo eyes dark with desire.

‘’Swallow all of it, (Y/N),” he commanded, as if you weren’t gonna do it anyway. You simply nodded, swallowing every single drop of his cum. That orgasm, though, didn’t feel as much like liberation as it should’ve. It felt like falling from grace. A sweet, tasty fall, but still. ‘’Open your mouth, let me see if you did as I told you. You always loved being my spicy, stubborn girl.’’ Dean pressed your jaw with his fingers. You opened your mouth for him, sticking your tongue out, only to gain a satisfied smile from the currently green-eyed man. ‘’What do we have here?’’ He grabbed your hand and pulled it closer to his lips, vivid eyes glaring at you as if he had caught a little kid doing something wrong. ‘’You were touching yourself, sweetheart? And came just from it and sucking me? How dirty.’’ Dangerously soft laughter echoed from his body but was soon ended when he licked your fingers, enjoying your taste. How he had missed you. ‘’Delicious, as always. You know what’s better? All of it just for me.’’

The refrigerator noises made the anthem for the moment you had sure you had lost your mind. What was done was done. Whatever it took, you couldn't lose him. Not again. You needed him.