#2023: my so called life

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 26: My So-Called Life 1x19

And so I have finished another My So-Called Life rewatch. I love this show. I want to watch it again and I want to write The Fic and I want more, just, like, in general.

As far as finales go, this one is basically perfect. It holds the right balance between satisfying, complete ending and tantalizing hints of the future and including the motif of the dreams was really smart. Rickie reaches a major milestone, and Sharon and Rayanne make their friendship official. And that Angela feels like she's at the beginning of a story and not at the end is wholly appropriate. It's an inflection point. I don't even necessarily read it as a cliffhanger or a set up for a season 2 that never happened. It's... the story with Brian this whole season has been that she doesn't know his feelings for her. Now she does. That (part of the) story has concluded. The knowledge is definite; there is no cliffhanger. It's just what she does with it that is left forever unknown.

And in her relationship with Jordan... in some ways they made no progress in this episode at all. That's a much more open story. Because, when Brian wrote the letter, he spoke over Jordan. As Rickie points out, Brian is using Jordan to explain his own feelings to Angela. The letter is about Brian. Jordan explains himself to Brian, and he explains himself (actually really well and coherently and in a moving way!) to Patty, but he says very little to Angela, with one notable exception. It's not that Jordan is a bad choice or that he's a bad person or that Angela wouldn't forgive him or understand his side. It's that she hasn't had the chance.

It's interesting that the one honest conversation he does have with her, he says that he dreams of knowing the right words. He's come a long way in being able to express himself but he's still learning, and it's especially difficult around Angela because he is now where she was in the first episodes. The turn tables etc. She's even wearing his jacket, or a similarly styled jacket, in the early scene where he's trying to small talk with her and she's not having it. Being able to say the right words, for someone who has had very little practice in doing so or need to do so, is really hard. But what's interesting about his dream is how it relates to Angela's dream, which is also about him. In her dream, she has all the words. Maybe too many words. But they're useless because he doesn't acknowledge her. They both understand their relationship the same way: she has all the words, and he has none. But for her, his silence turns him into an object she can just vent her rage to (a satisfying feeling that makes her feel powerful), and for him, his silence is a nightmare, and in the good-dream version, he's able to break out of it.

Tony Poole is obviously a Jordan substitute or symbol, and I think it's easy to read that situation as a road map to Angela ultimately picking, and staying with, Brian. It's easy to lose yourself in someone who is also lost, but eventually, you want to come home. Lose yourself with Tony and Jordan, come home to reliable old Graham and Brian. But Tony grows up into a responsible adult! He owns a restaurant for 12 years and then a car dealership. He's married. He won't drive while on sudafed just in case. And Graham, that wet noodle, is about to fuck someone else lmao. If Tony is the future Jordan, that's a sign Jordan will turn out okay. He might even be a reasonable person to come home to.

For what it's worth, I do think Angela and Brian will date. I mean, now that she knows the letter was his, she has to date him. And it's fairly obvious that Jordan isn't ready for her. But I think Brian and Angela would be bad for each other as romantic partners. It's hard for me to explain, at least at the moment, but I think they'd bring out the worst in each other. You see it in their fights, in the way they fight. I think they're excellent friends but they both have a sort of snotty and mean side to them and I think they would amplify that in each other if they were partners. But they have to see it doesn't work to become better friends.

The weakest part of the finale to me was the adult story line, but they've been the weak link since the introduction of Hallie. I'm sorry, I actually do like the restaurant story line, the idea of Graham as a chef, and Hallie has her less-obnoxious moments. But I don't see Graham as being interested in cheating; the whole idea that they're on the precipice of an affair just rings really false to me. She has a crush. He's oblivious. We leave them right on the precipice of something, so close that a S2 would have to address it by having them at least kiss and then the fallout etc. etc.--and all that is lame because seeing Graham and Patty have a good and functional marriage is one of the best parts of the show, way better than angsting over some stupid meaningless kiss. I guess what I mean is Hallie is no threat to the relationship, not really. She's not Patty. And it's just a shame to me that Graham and Patty are left in such a crappy place, because their relationship is so much stronger and more meaningful than that.

I have some pretty strong ideas about what I think should happen next, including even years into the future, and I'm so attached to these ideas they're basically canon for me, so in some ways, the finale isn't that painful. Except when I'm actually watching it and I just feel so emotional about it. The letters. The conversation between Angela and Brian. The last shot of Brian on his bike. Man it's such a fucking good show.

I miss it already.

[temeyes]

Slip-Up

[yoon-dowoon]

you're my best friend for the rest of my life until the days tinge purple once again bangtan boys and their songs for armys 💜 (cr. bemyjinnie, merjy_)

[hercarisntyours]

did i ever share the time i dreamt the plot of transformers one but it was entirely arion/oplita and it was actually just the fucking montage sequence from pixar's 'up' (yes, that part included, it's a stand out in my memory)

[stardustdiiving]

How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking

As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that

Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.

Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person

My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House

Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:

It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse

Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not

This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person

I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense

If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant

[narcissus-dot-png]

CRINGETOBER '23 DAY 9: Crossover ship/Rarepair

*in marge simpson voice* i just think they're neat! :]

[red-moon-at-night]

You know what. I hope, when I open youtube dot com to watch Cat on 26th July that Kazui Mukuhara IS the cat. and we just have another Muu situation except everyone is cats instead of bugs

[sukibenders]

"Ariel was stupid like she gave up her life in the ocean for a boy-" Well, if you actually watch the movie, before she even meets Eric, Arield shows interest in going to the surface and learning the ways of the humans. She collects artifacts and hides them, along with her trips to the surface from her father, who is prone to anger and hates her interest. He blows up her cave filled with said artifacts and bans her from ever going back to the surface (and seeing Eric, but the surface aspect and him go hand and hand). You want me to believe that you wouldn't book it at the first opportunity you got? Like yeah, the context of the deal was sketchy as hell, but when your dad is the literal ruler of all the seas you don't have many options. Also, in the sequel, Ariel is still connected to the ocean and can go back, especially after Ursula's sister dies so, in all honesty, my girl still wins in the end.

[eeveekitti]

pspspsp. can you pitch the basic plot of entropy: zero to me in the way you would if you were trying to convince someone to play it

anon do you know what youve done /silly

[here's just the game descriptions for those who don't want to see 200+ words about a half life mod]

do YOU like half-life 2?? and optionally the HL1 expansion opposing force?? have YOU ever wondered what it's like to play as the combine?? well that's the entire pitch of this free-to-play HL2 [EP2 apparently, didn't know that] mod!

in entropy : zero, you play a combine metrocop, stranded in the unheard of city 10 almost a year before the events of HL2. your job? surviving the harsh cold, and taking down an entire rebel base!

fighting your way through the rebel outposts and working your way into becoming more and more of a threat is the fun of the first installment in the entropy series.

entropy : zero 2 is a much more character-driven game, and what attracts most people to the series, following a much more talkative and very interesting iteration of our protagonist.

this time, you pick up the story after the events of HL2, hunting down well-known resistance member judith mossman in the north. there's actually so little i can say on entropy 2, so much of it is character-focused, but i promise you it's super super good!!!

and a personal funfact: ez2 is my favorite game ever as of current [even above rain world!! and i'm a rain world blog!!] and has my favorite character ever in it!

so i highly encourage everyone who owns hl2 play these mods please please please [<- desperate for a tumblr fandom to exist] and if it sweetens the deal for you-- i'm like 90% sure they're making a third installment!!

[evilmagician430]

who up sinning their fest

[radio-4-is-static]

ハイパーベンチレイション | RADWIMPS from BACK TO THE LIVE HOUSE TOUR 2023

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 18: My So-Called Life 1x18 Weekend

I don't have a ton to say about Weekend other than stuff I've probably said a thousand times before... I love this episode, but the kids' story line is way better than the adults'. I just have so much affection for Patty. Trying so hard Patty. I want her to plan my vacation, and I want her to have better people in her life than oblivious Graham, annoying Neal, and... well actually Cheryl I didn't mind.

Mostly it just makes me sad when people are mean to her and abandon her.

I thought it was interesting that Graham gave Cheryl his sweater and this is played up as a big deal because what it actually showed me was, honestly, Graham has no awareness of how his own actions may read. He doesn't see that as a sign of affection, as it might be construed in other circumstances, and he doesn't see fixing Hallie's car that way either. He was not on the edge of an affair, I will maintain this forever. Really the only question for me is how that woman from the pilot got as close as she did to sleeping with him. She must have put in a lot of work.

Anyway. The teen storyline is just great. Just a fun use of all the characters and legitimately funny, and a nice break after the last episode and before the finale. I love that Rickie is so comfortable at Mr. Katimski's house. He says 'you too' before he hangs up the phone with him and I really wonder what he's saying. Not I love you, that would be weird, but like maybe something like have fun or have a good weekend or something like that? Idk. It just feels so domestic and home-y and I love that for him. I also love that Rickie is like finally getting what he wanted: not just a stable home environment but also just some rest? He doesn't love the drama. He is exhausted from so much Rayanne. He wants the quiet anniversary party with the oregano seasoning. He wants to give excuses to Rayanne and hang out with Angela at her house. Which, like, same, this seems like a pretty fun lounging around weekend to me.

Because I do actually legit ship Brian and Rayanne a little bit, their interactions were fun for me. Brian on top this time lol.

Rayanne is definitely burning some bridges at this point but the thing is she does attract people to her. Brian, Sharon of course, Danielle. She's one of those people who is simultaneously a mess and also very magnetic. Her conversation with Danielle was interesting... She sees everything around her in slow motion and she just needs something to happen. A sign of immaturity? Of something... diagnosable? To me it's just so very her in a nutshell. She cannot be still. She cannot just be with herself. I'm sure in some ways being handcuffed for over 24 hours really sucked, her nightmare in some ways, and in that sense I can see why she'd try to run as soon as she's free, even if that is a very jerk move. She's so over the top in this episode (calling herself Raygun?), so obviously faking...everything, except that conversation with Danielle, it's like red flags everywhere of the place she's in.

The moment when Angela sees Danielle and Rayanne sleeping together was very touching. Like sisters, except Rayanne isn't her family, she's not even in Angela's life anymore. But Angela still knows her so well, as the last bit with the key showed.

I was really obsessed this watch through with this line about the hardware store not being open until Monday. What sort of hardware store isn't open on weekends? What sort of stores are not open on weekends other than like maybe Sunday in the blue law sense? But Saturday? Does this whole suburb of Pittsburgh just shut down for 2 days every week? Do people who need wire shears have to take time off work, like vacation hours, to go run their errands? Why is the Pleasure Center still open? I have so many questions.

Also I think we were really robbed a scene of Brian and Sharon at the Pleasure Center.

Or Brian and Rayanne. Just for fun.

[mo-ok]

10 Seasons, 80 Heroes /// Here's the Pink and Yellow Ones

[eosofspades]

every single person making gifs of the little mermaid 2023 on here is more talented at lighting, coloring, and editing than the actual moviemakers

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Anyone else kinda wondering if during the whole Kendom plot there's a second (Ryan Gosling) Ken thats in Barbieland and is the one facing off with Simu Ken and maybe even its just a big fight for who is the one true Ken? No? Just me? Alright cool no worries

[carcinized]

i dont know how to express to someone who has never played womens soccer what lindsey horan's goal today meant to me (and girls everywhere) but like . holy fuck im not kidding when i say that changed my life. my mom straight up cried