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eruden-writes · 4 months

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Choosing the Bear - Part 1 (Shifter x Human)

Inspired by the Man or Bear in the Woods question/meme.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (coming soon?)

♥ ♥ �� ♥ ♥

If you found yourself at night in a forest – somewhere that made bumfuck nowhere look like New York City – would you choose to be alone with a man or a bear?

Bambi Rose Barker was stuck in the middle of both answers. Literally.

She stood stock still, eyes wide, chest heaving and aching for air while her stomach lurched. Moments earlier – or maybe half an hour ago, she couldn’t tell – she had managed to escape her kidnapper’s cabin with the man hot at her heels. It had been a mad dash through the night, dressed in only a tank top and a pair of daisy duke shorts and choking down pain as her bare feet slammed over rocks, branches, and uneven terrain.

Luckily, a full moon cast light over the world, so Bambi wasn’t exactly stumbling without sight. Fumbling through the forest without shoes was still a bitch on the soles, but she simply gritted her teeth and continued forth.

When she caught sight of the bear a few yards ahead, her racing feet and thoughts froze. She couldn’t really be seeing a bear, right? Under the moonlight and swirling starlight, she squinted. But it was hard to deny that the bright white creature was anything but a bear.

Her adrenaline shifted from fleeing her pursuer as she slowed to calculating whether ursine or man was a larger threat.

Behind her, the man howled as he tromped through the mountainside forest, “Bambi, get back here! I just wanna talk things out!”

It wasn’t the first time she’d had a man chasing her with a shotgun. Growing up in the country, with little to do except get in trouble, Bambi and a group of friends often found themselves running off into the dark, being threatened by an angry elder with a shot gun.

The man tailing at her heels wasn’t crochety Mrs. Jenkins, who was more bark than actual bullet.

No, she was well-acquainted with Duke Walker. They’d grown up in the same town and known each other forever.

There was one key difference between Duke and the other men of Hartwell: his family owned the little town. By and large, he was better off than most people in Barfield and he got away with a whole helluva lot more than the average folk.

Which included stalking, as Bambi had learned over the last two years of their separation. He was about to add kidnapping and possibly murder to the list, as well.

But Duke was a human. A five-foot-eleven-inch human that might have a chance to be reasoned with.

Whereas the bear…

Well to start with, it looked about as tall as the Wicked Warrior from the Monster Truck Derby her pa used to take her to when she was a kid. Which had to be at least ten feet tall, though maybe kid Bambi was coloring her memories. It didn’t help that the bear looked to weigh just about as much as the Wicked Warrior to boot.

To end with, judging from the size and coloration, it looked like a polar bear. As in one of the few creatures that actually saw humans as a viable snack.

While Bambi hadn’t been an ace at high school geography, she was pretty damn sure the Appalachian Mountains were too far south for a polar bear.

Confusion warred with uncertainty, keeping her frozen in place as the bear lowered onto all four paws. A faint part of Bambi’s mind realized it had been rooting around in a tree and, a little hysterically, she wondered if polar bears ate honey.

Just as the bear lumbered closer to Bambi, Duke crashed through the brush behind her. The flaps of his flannel button-up, unbuttoned, flared behind him as his white tank top nearly glowed in the moonlight. “Christ, woman! I told you I just wanted ta’ talk and you gotta go and make a scene—“

Jolting, Bambi spun toward Duke. It would’ve been a lie if she didn’t take some satisfaction in watching awareness dawn on his as he finally saw the bear. He paled to a shade almost as white as the creature, gripping his gun tighter. She watched the knot in his throat bob, fear freezing him momentarily in place.

For some reason, seeing Duke like that sparked something inside Bambi. Balling her fists, she nodded toward the gun in his hands. “If you just wanna talk, Duke, why do you got a gun with you?”

Her words made Duke snap his attention back to her, eyes wide with horror and anger. “Now’s not the time for all that! Do you not see the hulking white beast behind you!?”

“I do, but it ain’t threatening me with a damn gun and it hasn’t been the one stalkin’ me for years and kidnapping me,” she spat back, though she very pointedly shifted so her back wasn’t to the bear or the man.

A chuff from the bear startled her attention back to it, her heart tripping in her chest. She glanced toward it, risking eye contact that could very well end her life. The bear’s head slightly tilted toward her, ears giving a twitch, but it didn’t growl or lift a lip in a snarl. Even without the signs of imminent danger, Bambi’s heart thrummed in her chest.

Albino, she thought. The white bear couldn’t be a polar bear, it had to be albino! But didn’t albino animals have red eyes? And no pigmentation in the rest of their body? She swallowed as her eyes dropped from the creature’s dark eyes to its black nose.

The cock of Duke’s rifle snagged Bambi’s attention back toward him. Finally, a growl burbled up from the bear and she heard it shift, could feel it rising up on its hind feet. Apprehension prickled over her body, finding Duke lining up a shot through the scope, lip curling as he snarled, “You need to back away from that damn thing! Don’t you got any sense?!”

A sudden surge of protectiveness overcame Bambi as she took a step closer to the armed man. “Duke Walker, put down the damned rifle! It wasn’t doing a thing before you started threatening it.”

“Don’t you Duke Walker me! It’s a—“

Before Duke could finish his retort, the huge bear crested the distance faster than Bambi would have guessed. Stunned, she couldn’t even shriek as the bear descended on Duke, huge paw arcing down to swipe at the rifle. She only heard the man give a startled cry before a loud, piercing gunshot rang out. With a clatter, the rifle went flying and Duke stumbled back, bloody gouge marks trickling down his arm and chest. Another growl warbled from the bear as it stood up straighter.

As Duke turned tail and sprinted back the way he came, the bear didn’t pursue. It merely stood, as if watching the man disappear into the woods.

And suddenly, Bambi realized she was alone with the hulking beast. As quick and quiet as she could, she began sidling away from the creature, mentally trying to determine which direction she should run to avoid Duke. However, the bear shifted toward her and she realized, with a start, that red blossomed along its fur.

Duke had shot it.

With a groan, the bear lowered down to all four, its torso seemingly heaving.

Sense and compassion held Bambi locked in place, part of her wanting to check on the creature while the logical side of her told her to bolt. Besides the fact it could be a polar bear – there’s no fucking way it’s actually a polar bear, Bambi’s logical side snarked – it was injured, meaning it had both a hankering for human and was likely scared while in pain.

Before Bambi could decide what to do, a smaller figure crashed through the tangle of forest. “Dad! Dad! What’s goin’ on? Did you hear that gunshot?”

The little figure paused, eyes widening and voice softening with worry, “What happened to you?”

With a jolt, Bambi realized she recognized the voice. Squinting, she took a step closer. “Mercy? Mercy Clements?”

Startled, the girl turned toward Bambi as she hovered near the bear. The light of the moon caught her wide hazel eyes, casting them with a silver sheen. Like a fish, her mouth opened and closed, obviously trying to come up with something to say.

Wait, she’d said ‘dad’ thought Bambi. And then she had ran toward the bear, asking the creature what happened. Bambi’s gaze flicked from the bear to the girl and back to the bear, a perplexing suspicion taking root. There was no way to confuse a behemoth like that for a human, even in the dark.

“Zeke?” Bambi narrowed her eyes, focusing on the bear. There was no way the bear was Zeke Clements. There was no way the bear was anything other than a bear!

Something in the bear’s demeanor flinched – or so Bambi thought – and her denial wavered.

#exophilia #exo writing #bear shifter #shifter #monster #monster x human #shifter x human #monster romance #monster lover #monster fucker #monster dad #I haven't decided if Zeke only turns into a bear or if he can shift into other animals #thoughts and feelings?#should I continue this?#I have a vague idea of where this can go but idk

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miasmal-sweetness · 4 months

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Barefoot

Inspired by my family members who always told little me growing up to not let a boy ever get me barefoot and pregnant.

Also not very good because I wrote the vast majority of this while very hypoglycemic and depressed lmao

Summary: 4.2k. Cloud’s dreams are dead. Shinra didn’t pan out. The city wasn’t for him. So he’s back in Nibelheim, forever a country boy. But you’re here, too, and you’re just happy he filled his promise to come back safe. Cloud is satisfied with his future in this sleepy town as long as you’re in it, but what’s this about you wanting to leave for school?

Alternative summary: Your small town boyfriend kills your big city dreams before anyone else can.

Pairing: yandere!Cloud x reader

Warnings: Forced breeding/baby-trapping, impregnation, reader is AFAB and referred to as a mom, Cloud kills your dreams, dubcon, manipulation, talk of abortion, not proofread bc it's meeee

MDNI – NSFW – 18+ only – take care of yourself

Barefoot

The sun is setting. Some of the Chocobos in the town’s ranch are scattered about, already settled for a good sleep. From the water tower, they look like puffs of bright yellow pollen gathered in the grass, at least when they tuck their heads against their wings. Normally, you’re filling the silence between you and Cloud with your happy chatter about your favorites—whom you have named Peep and Meep—but your words are in short supply today.

Cloud glances down at your hand. It’s next to his. So close… He could just grab it. Why aren’t you holding his hand? Has he brushed you off too many times? As he ponders the possibilities of why you might be mad at him, he misses the sight of you repeatedly parting your lips and closing them again.

“Did I piss you off?” Cloud finally asks. He can’t think of anything specific as to why you’d be angry or sad. You’ve been happy lately, maybe a little lost in thought, but things have been going well. He’s back in Nibelheim. You two are officially together. His mother is thrilled and adores you, your father approves of him, and you’re happy he kept to his promise to come back to you. So what’s the problem?

“What?” You snap out of your thoughts and finally look at him with wide eyes. You look tired—not physically, but mentally. Something is eating away at you. “I—no, no, I’m not mad.” You laugh, more to comfort him than anything. “I was just—erm, thinking, that’s all.”

Cloud grunts, a crooked frown on his face. He stares in to your eyes for a moment longer, searching for any signs of a lie, and finally accepts it as the truth and looks back at the Chocobos. “What are you thinking about, then?” He should have figured. You thought a lot—frequently, you thought too much. You had yet to take his advice to knock it off.

“Um…” You aren’t looking at the Chocobos. You’re looking at your hands, and then your kicking feet, and then your hands again as you rub circles in to your palms with your thumbs until your skin is red and raw. “I’ve been thinking that I want to learn more. A-about healing. You know, if anyone gets hurt out here, there’s not much we can do.”

Cloud nods. He knows this isn’t why you’re rubbing your own skin off your hand. “That’s a good idea,” he says, ignoring the anxiety rising in his gut. “One of the traveling doctors should be coming by next month; maybe you can—”

“Actually, I wanted to go to the city and study there.”

That’s why you’re so anxious. Why you’re tense and your voice is tremulous. Why you two aren’t spending your time on the water tower talking about Chocobos, chatting about your days, or making out. Cloud hides his surprise well, but it still takes him a moment to be able to speak.

“The city, huh?”

“Mm-hm.” This time, he’s silent. You stop agitating your palm to place your hand over his, but it feels wrong. “There’s a practitioner program there. I’ve saved some money for the tuition—and it’s not that long! I’d be back soon.”

“And how long is ‘not that long’?” he questions, turning his head to look at you again.

Your nervous smile drops, and your gaze shifts to the side. “A year and a half,” you admit, squinting. Cloud bristles at your words, and you return to trying to comfort him. “I know! But I’ll come back here afterwards. And I can visit on breaks—or you can visit me. I’ll write all the time, too.”

This cannot be happening. He goes through all that bullshit with Shinra, has to swallow his pride and come back a failure to you, and now that you two are settled, you want to leave? No way.

“Cloud, please,” you murmur, squeezing his hand. “I can’t be a merc like you. You know this place is… Th-there aren’t a lot of opportunities for me here. I have to make my own.”

Cloud scowls. “You think it’ll be better in the city?” he grumbles. He wants to rip his hand away from you. He wants to brush you off and tell you it doesn’t matter, but he can’t. He can’t do that to you—certainly not now, when the threat of you leaving him is looming. “Trust me, you’re the last person that should go there. You wouldn’t last a day.”

“I have to try,” you insist. “I know it didn’t work for you, but—” You see the raw emotion that flares in his eyes. Wrong path to take. You change the course of your words, hoping it’s not too late. “Cloud, my only option in Nibelheim is to one day stay at home for a husband to look after our kids.”

“What’s wrong with that?” It hurts a little bit, how disturbed you sound when you say the word “husband.” When did your futures diverge like this? Was it his fault for leaving first? “We can get married. You don’t have to worry—”

“I want more than that, Cloud. I want my own life.”

You were right, and he knew it. You were like his mother when she was younger. He heard the stories of how adventurous and bold she had been, how she had defiantly claimed that she would never be a housewife—she would be a traveler. And yet, she had fallen for a man who did all the traveling instead, who left and died and now she was alone and all her dreams were gone.

And even though he sees longing in her eyes sometimes, all his mind focuses on now is one word from you: kids. Children bind people together forever, whether they like it or not. A child was the same thing that tethered his mother to this place—even his father, before his death. Maybe his mother still mourns her dead dreams, but she was otherwise happy, right? You could be, too.

Cloud finally reciprocates your grip on his hand and intertwines your fingers. He softens the scowl on his face for you. “When are you planning on leaving?” he asks, bringing your hand in to his lap.

“The end of spring,” you answer, scooting closer to him. “So we still have two months together.”

“Then we should make the most of it.”

In the dark, it’s pretty easy for him to get away with “accidentally” tearing the condom when he opens it without you even noticing—especially when you’re so worried about someone seeing you two while he fucks you behind a barn. You aren’t normally so agreeable to sex anywhere other than his house, but today is different. Maybe you feel guilty. Maybe you’re excited because you think you’ll actually get to follow your dreams. Doesn’t matter.

Leaving it all up to one ripped condom is too risky, so over the coming days, Cloud gets to researching. He’d never really thought of himself as father material, not until now. He’d learn to be a good one, though. Or not—he was pretty sure you weren’t keen on kids, but you’d probably learn to love it. Eventually. And if you really didn’t, then there were options to get rid of it in the city. After you were married to him, and only then and with his permission—there was no other way. The village aunties wouldn’t allow otherwise. Neither would your father.

So Cloud reads about pregnancy and fertility when he has downtime. He tracks your cycle as best he can by going through your things and counting your pads. He pokes holes in every condom the both of you own and gives you grapefruit juice every morning to screw up the birth control you take. And he fucks you every day, of course—he even keeps you on his cock for a while after, in the hopes that it might increase the chance of something taking.

The clock is ticking, though. There’s only two weeks left until you leave, and you’ve shown no signs of pregnancy. No backache, nausea, or fatigue. If anything, you’re more energetic—always excited about school. About leaving him. That’s what rings through his mind as guilt fills his chest when he slips off the condom mid-sex. You deserve this. Who cares if it’s wrong? It’s not like you’d ever find out, and when you see the mess he’s made, he’ll just say it was an accident. An honest mistake. You’ll believe him—you always do.

It’s a week until you leave now, and you have still not voiced any changes. No weight gain. Nothing. He’s running out of time, and he knows it.

“You can stay a little longer,” Cloud insists, holding you by your wrist. You’ve started packing your bags, taking what you can of your home—another slap in the face to him. If you really leave, you’ll even deprive him of the ability to go to your room and be among your possessions. “You said the program doesn’t start for another few weeks.”

You smile at him in a tender, almost pitying way. You slide his hand off of your wrist and return to folding a blouse. “I want time to get settled in,” you remind him. “You know I’ve never been to the city before.” You want to suggest that he come with you and show you around, but you know how it will go. He’ll shut you out the second you try.

Cloud snatches another shirt from your hands and tosses it across your room. “You don’t need that much time,” he argues as you sigh. “You can stay. At least… another two weeks.”

You narrow your eyes at him. Damn—you shouldn’t have looked in his eyes. You’re certain he must be aware of the effect his eyes have on you when he softens his gaze and gives you those big blue puppy eyes. He even juts out his lower lip, ever so slightly. You’ve never been able to say no to that face, and this time is no different.

“A week,” you offer, crossing your arms over your chest.

“A week and a half,” he counters. A smirk crosses his face for a quick second, but he replaces it with the pout you know, love, and also hate.

“Fine,” you groan, slouching your shoulders. You comb your fingers through your hair and sigh down at your half-packed bag. “Fine. I can stay an extra week and a half.”

He’s bought a little more time, but he knows you will try to leave eventually. Cloud wraps his arm around your waist and draws you closer; he’s thought of backup plans, in case you never do get pregnant. He could just… take you. You’d be pissed, but it’s not like you could do anything to stop him. Still, he’d rather not go that far unless absolutely necessary. If there’s any chance he can just get you to settle down on your own, he’ll take it.

You lean in to him, and he decides to seize this opportunity, too. His fingers creep down to the hem of your skirt; you try to hold it in place, but he just lifts it up anyway in the back.

“Wearing those for me?” he teases, snapping the waistband of your pink panties.

“You’ve been insatiable lately,” you grumble, swatting his hands away. “You can’t give me a break?”

“Nope.”

And he means it. Cloud’s hands are already on you, his lips against your jaw as he slowly guides you to your bed. It feels nice, but you still pull away and rest your hands on his chest.

“Cloud,” you whine, “Not here. What if my dad—”

“The door’s locked,” he says with a shrug. “Don’t worry so much.”

“What if he comes home and—”

“He won’t. But if he does, I’ll just tell him I was taking good care of you.”

He looks annoyingly proud of himself. You open your mouth to sass him back, but he’s already kissing you again. You’ve known Cloud for years—you started fooling around when you were still a little younger and a lot dumber. Neither of you were skilled at first, but you know each other’s bodies well, and he knows every spot that makes your toes curl. You resign yourself to your fate as he pushes you on to your bed.

This is the you he’s used to. You put up a fight sometimes—you have to look decent, keep your reputation as someone respectable and capable—but you always give in to him. Why does it have to be different when it comes to the city? What’s so special about it? His misery comes out in the form of a harsher bite to your throat than usual.

“Cloud!” you scold, “T-try to be careful. You know how annoying it is to cover up hickeys.”

He doesn’t even think about listening to you. “Then don’t cover them,” he mutters, before lowering his head again to suck at the same spot.

“Asshole.”

“Mhm.”

Even as you grumble and complain at him, he can still feel how wet you are when he shoves his hand down your panties without warning. Some of the fire in your eyes dies out as he toys with you, replaced with something soft and wanting. You scowl and voice another complaint when he pulls his hand away to undo his belt and strip out of his shirt. He doesn’t bother to do the same for you; he decides lifting up your shirt and tossing your panties on the floor is good enough.

Cloud grips you by your thighs as he looks you over. Fucking you on your childhood bed under your father’s roof probably won’t earn him any points with your family, but they don’t need to know—and if they do find out, they’ll have to put up with him once you’re knocked up anyway. Cloud feels you shudder when he just barely penetrates you; as much as you’ve griped at him today, you’re still excited. Unusually excited, even for you.

“Take your time,” you quip, resting an arm above your head. “Not like anyone else could walk in here.”

“Brat.”

As punishment for your sass, Cloud thrusts in to you without warning or hesitation. You cry out and grip your sheets, but it puts it an end to your mouthiness at least. He doesn’t let up, though; he’s now intent on pounding you into nothing on your bed as he forces your knees to your ears.

“C-Cloud…” You want to tell him to stop, but you don’t. It feels good, even if the bed is creaking loudly and you feel like a pretzel and you think did he put on a condom? He’s hitting the perfect spot and your moans are getting louder, your fears of being heard slowly dissipating from your mind. Fuck it—if he’s this set on railing you like this, you may as well fully enjoy it. “Harder, please!”

You feel his nails curl in to your thighs. He laughs at your demand, but acquiesces. Normally, Cloud focuses on your face, the expressions of pleasure on it, and your breasts as they bounce. Right now, though, his gaze continues to be drawn to your belly. He releases one of your thighs and rests his hand over your lower belly, pressing down like he’s trying to feel his own cock inside of you.

He can’t help but think of you—pregnant, waiting at home for him. You’d look cute, he’s certain. Adorable, even. You can’t leave. You can’t do anything. No one in town is going to let you work while pregnant, and every village auntie and uncle will have their eyes on you. Watching out for you. Watching you. Knowing that he’s the reason you’re tethered here, that he’s the one who snapped you back to reality and kept you here, that he’s the one you belong to. That’s what pregnancy really is, isn’t it? Ownership—using your body as a tool, forever changing it.

And then he realizes that your breasts look a little larger today. Your belly feels different—a little firmer. You normally have a smattering of acne around this time, too, somewhere on your body. Your face or your chest or your back, but there’s nothing. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but it spurs him on nonetheless. You feel like you’re going to break in two with how rough he’s being, although moans spill from your lips anyway as your shame leaves you and you play with your clit.

Cloud puts his teeth to your neck as he feels pleasure run through your body. You contract around him, your chest and core tightening while your throat releases tiny, pathetic squeaks. He’s turned you into a trembling mess on your bed, probably permanently stained the same sheets you’ve had since you were a kid. The ones with unicorns and stars on them that you’ve always loved. He knows it’s awful of him to enjoy the sight, and awful of him to enjoy the thought of breeding you, but the pleasure from it outweighs any shame. The moment you mewl his name, he cums. He thrusts as deep as he can and uses his weight to keep you in place; he’s not going to let you waste a single drop.

“Cloud,” you eke out. You feel… warm. Very, very warm. You know this feeling—it happened recently when he said a condom broke. And you don’t remember him putting one on this time. “Cloud, Cloud!”

“What?” he snaps, resting his head against the crook of your neck.

“You had a condom on, right?” Your heart is racing again, but more from the acid that’s crawling up your throat than the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you. “Right?”

Cloud thrums and shifts; he pulls out a little, only to sink deeper inside of you again. You can feel his cum oozing out of you, dripping on to your precious pink sheets below. “Didn’t have one on me,” he mutters. “You’re on birth control, anyway. Doesn’t make a difference.” He reaches his hand up to squeeze your cheeks. “Don’t worry so much.”

You scowl up at your ceiling. You hate that it feels good; you chalk it up to some sort of primal instinct that tries to encourage reproduction. “Help me clean up, then,” you order, starting to push up on his chest. “And let’s pray my birth control is working.”

“No need,” he says, finally pulling away from you. “You know I’ll always take care of you. So quit worrying.”

“Easy for you to say. Come on, hurry up before anyone comes back.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Cloud is fortunate that you’re not very good at holding grudges, even though you try; you complain a bit when he pulls you on to his lap the next day, but ultimately give in. And the day after that. And the day after that. And on the day after that, it’s you that starts it, even inviting him to your room. While you recover on your floor, still annoyed about your sheets, he pretends to clean himself up in your bathroom.

You haven’t used any pads in a while. Your appetite is different lately. You’re hornier, for sure. And your breasts are definitely bigger; he grabs them enough that he’d notice even the slightest change. Your skin is still clear, too; he wonders if this is what people mean by the glow that people get when they’re pregnant. You must be pregnant. You have to be; there’s no other reason this would all be happening. Not like it’ll hurt to keep trying, just to be sure, up to the very last moment.

It’s the night before you leave, and you’ve invited him up to the water tower. You’re hiding behind it, staring down at the earth below like it’s going to swallow you up. You wish it would, especially when he wraps his arms around you from behind and places a kiss on your neck.

“Cloud,” you breathe, frozen in place. You don’t reciprocate his touch, but you at least don’t pull away either. One of his hands comes to rest on your belly, and it makes you feel like throwing up.

“Thought you’d want to go to bed early,” he says, rubbing a small circle over your stomach. “Tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” The bitterness in his voice is gone now. He knows what this is about.

“I… yeah…” You clear your throat. You have to just spit it out. You thought about dealing with it on your own—it’s not like there aren’t those kinds of options in the city. But you can’t. All your savings are gone, poured into your hopes and dreams in the city; your family wouldn’t lend you the money without a good enough explanation, and it just brought unwanted questions. Cloud was your last hope. “Cloud, I-I have something to tell you.”

You turn to face him, but you aren’t able to look him in the eye. Not now. Cloud looks you over as you struggle to piece together your next words. Loose dress. Messy hair. Tired eyes. Your lips are dry and chapped. If you weren’t about to tell him such wonderful news, he’d just bend you over here and now; it’s hard for him to resist you when you look so helpless.

“I’m pregnant,” you finally spit out. You sneak a glance at his face; his eyes are wide, but his lips have twitched into a smile. “I-I took a test. I took a lot of tests… I, um—you don’t have to—”

Cloud wraps his arms around you again. It’s comforting and scary at the same time. “You look terrified,” he says, stroking your frizzy hair. “Don’t be. I told you I’d take care of you.”

“Then… you’ll help me—”

“You’ll make a great mom, anyway,” he interjects, completely ignoring the question you wanted to ask. He knows exactly what it is, and he’ll tell you “no” if he really has to, but it’s easier to avoid that subject for now. He doesn’t have to worry, anyway. Who else will you turn to? The moment he announces it, you’ll have the whole town chaining you here. And the village aunties certainly won’t let you try anything. Your father definitely won’t let it go, and he’d force a marriage whether you’d like it or not. “We can get married. Probably soon before anyone starts talking.”

Fuck. Fuck. This was not how he was supposed to respond. You knew Cloud; you knew he was not fond of kids. If anyone was to grumble a bit and tell you to take some cash, head to a clinic, you thought it would be him. So what happened? Why was this man, who had never expressed any desire to be a family man or tied down in any way, suddenly talking about marriage, a child, and your family’s approval? Why did he look so happy, so smug?

“I still want to go to the city,” you manage to say, your voice as tremulous as your lower lip. “I want to get an education.”

Cloud laughs—a short, mocking laugh. “How are you gonna manage that now?” he teases. “You can’t do this alone. Maybe—maybe after. When the kid’s older.” It was a lie, but by then, you’d forget about it. You wouldn’t care about it anymore. You’d be broken in, like every other woman here. Except Tifa, maybe, and she was fortunately leaving very soon for her boyfriend in the city.

“Cloud,” you plead, finally looking into his eyes. He looks so fucking happy, and as angry as it makes you, you also know you can’t resist those puppy dog eyes.

“Be realistic,” he insists. “Your dad would lose his shit if you tried. It’s going to be okay; I’ll go over tomorrow and get permission, we’ll get married, and then we can tell everyone.” He would absolutely be letting it slip to a few of the biggest gossips in town, but you didn’t need to know that. As tears well in your eyes, he cups your face and lifts your hanging head again. “Relax. You don’t need to worry about anything now. I’ll always take care of you. You can just stay home with the kid.”

He’s right. Fuck. He’s right. You can’t get an abortion. You can’t run away. This town will grab you and drag you down—it already is. No one will let you leave with a child holding you here. In just a few minutes, you have been forced to watch all your hopes and dreams be swallowed up by the dirt of this town.

And he knows it. He’ll let you cry it out later. If you’ve calmed down, maybe he’ll let you sneak off and get an abortion—he’ll make up some lie to all the townsfolk. For now, at least, there’s no hope of you leaving. Even if you never truly accept that, he’ll just knock you up as many times as it takes for you to understand. He’ll keep you barefoot and pregnant, broken and tamed like so many other women here. You’re better off this way.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs as you cry your tears against his chest. “I’m here. You’re with me. That’s all that matters.”

Right. You had Cloud by your side through this. He’d do anything for you—and anything to you, if it meant you’d stay.

#dark!cloud strife #dark!cloud strife x reader #dark!cloud x reader #dead dove #dead dove do not eat #miasmal-writes #yandere!cloud #yandere!cloud strife x reader #yandere!cloud x reader #dark fic #mdni

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lialovesstuff · 2 years

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It's so interesting to me, as I grow older to see how some of the reactions these kids have are very mild considering that they go through the most traumatising experiences.

I was listening to the anubis backwards podcast interview with Brad Kavanagh (which if you are an anubis fan I highly recommend you go check out because it is super interesting), and he did mention something about how the reactions had to fall in line with the fact that it is still a kid's show. So the reactions could never be too strong.

Taking this, it makes me think about how mentally distressed these students are but they could never really express that because of the PG nature of the show. Having recently rewatched the show I realised how traumatising the things that happen to these kids are and how irl these things would affect a person mentally, but sometimes it makes you angry that these things are sort of just brushed under the carpet.

I want to start off by talking about my girl Patricia. She was gaslit by everyone around her, kidnapped, betrayed by the people whom she trusted would take care of her, has no memory of what we can assume is weeks of her life, and based on the whole Piper situation we can possibly assume she feels neglected or overshadowed. I think this is what leads her to not be vulnerable in front of anyone. Yet, we don't see her express her PTSD at any point after the whole nightmare situation with Rufus. I would have really liked to have seen her PTSD or trauma addressed in some form. For example, how her and Eddie becoming a couple helped her with her nightmares because she finally felt safe with someone and she finally feels like someone believes her and loves her unconditionally.

Then there's Joy. There is so much to talk about when it comes to Joy and I will forever be mad about how the writers address istg maybe 4 times since she came back. She was kidnapped by her own father, betrayed by her teachers, almost sacrificed to some Egyptian cult, had no contact with the outside world, had her education, friends and freedom taken from her at the young age of 16 (I assume), and after all of this still being forced to go back to school and be taught and associate with the people who caused all of this. I really hate how when she came back no one even asked how she feels to be back or just generally checking on her mental health. I’m surprised she went back to that school at all tbh. It was all business as usual and even she didn’t exhibit any ptsd symptoms. I think something as simple as just showing her being terrified of being left in the same room as these teachers would make for an interesting plot point, or talking to Patricia about how she feels scared going back to school. The only time when Joy does exhibit any form of PTSD is when they are forced to wear the robes in S3 and the poor girl literally looks terrified. There’s so much to unpack with Joy, so the last thing I will say is that in S2 I feel like one of her arcs could be learning to deal with the trauma and overcome it. Also it makes me so mad that none of the adults apologised to her.

Moving on to Eddie Miller. This boy has probably dealt with abandonment issues his whole life from his dad leaving. His whole 'rebel' persona probably came about from him not having a male figure in his life and was almost trying to fill that void or not being able to cope with his dad leaving. This is probably why Eddie finds it hard to open up to people, with the first person he truly trusts (besides his mum probably) is Patricia as he says multiple times that he trusts her and he tells her directly that he likes her, which he says himself was not easy for him. He does start to build a relationship with his dad but once again it is something that gets resolved in like 5 minutes and from there they seem to have the building blocks to start building a relationship. This is nice, don't get me wrong, but given that Eddie's dad has been out of his life for years and all it took was a 5-minute convo to get their relationship rolling seems unrealistic. In the conversation, Eddie does say "you didn't want me then, and you don't want me know", which I think is a very deep line for a nick show but still I think irl a boy in Eddie's position would have had a lot more of his true feelings and emotions flow out.

Jerome is a similar case to Eddie. A boy who struggles to reconnect with his father after years. I will say I always thought this arc was really deep for a nick show. A boy finds out his father is in prison and tries to rebuild a connection with him. I do have to say that arc of Jerome rebuilding his relationship with his father has a better pace in comparison to Eddie and his dad, but still, I do imagine a boy discovering his estranged father is in prison would cause a bigger reaction, but once again going back to the idea that it is a kid's show they had to keep his reaction relatively 'neutral'. Also considering that Eugene Simon is a great actor I think he would be able to represent those emotions really well.

Of course, there is still so much to say about all of the characters in the show, but I do find this an interesting observation also in line with what Brad said on the podcast.

#house of anubis #hoa #hoa rewatch #patricia williamson #eddie miller #joy mercer #jerome clarke #brad kavanagh #anubis backwards #nickelodeon #teen nick

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lumiereandcogsworth · 2 months

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favourite belle headcanon(s)?

oohhh my beloved girl….

these got long so i’m putting them under the cut 😁

one i think about all the time is how she kind of becomes a forever student. and by that i mean, once she becomes ✨royalty✨ she gets in contact with the headmaster and other professors at the university of paris and she just like. always studies there. i think her & adam live in paris sometimes too so she gets to be in classes occasionally. but she just CRAVES knowledge and wants to learn EVERYTHING. by the time she’s older she probably has like every possible degree you could get there. like literally i think she’s like a pokémon trainer; gotta collect ‘em all!!!!

and of course she’s always working on the education system as queen, trying very hard to get more schools built, create laws that mandate it for all children - INCLUDING GIRLS!!!! and she’s just. soooo involved in education. she loves studying and learning and she wants to make sure no one has to grow up deprived of it the way she was. (because not everyone has a cool papa who taught them as much as he could and encouraged them to read so much !!) so yeah just. all things education✨ i have a wip i need to revisit that’s set when adam & belle are first married and she’s back from spending time with her tutor and she starts rambling about all the things she’s learned and adam’s listening with heart eyes and then she stops and apologizes for rambling and he’s like no i love it tell me more !! and it kinda makes her choke up because no one’s ever loved her for that amazing mind of hers….🤧

another one i really love is that i think she’s very clingy/snuggly in bed. and i don’t think she realized how much she loved being held when she slept until adam held her and she felt so SAFE. i think because she’s always been so independent, always had to fend for herself, she just didn’t realize how much she actually liked having someone to protect her — even if there isn’t any actual danger while they sleep. just knowing he’s holding her, it kind of helps her to let her guard down. which she needs to do just as much as adam does!

when she and adam travel (which is very often) she keeps diaries of every place they go. it started with their honeymoon, when adam gifted her, on their wedding day, a journal to take note of their adventures. and she loves it so much that she keeps it up! she has DECADES worth of journals in the shelves of her study back home, by the time she’s older. she loves to make notes about the food and the people and the whether and the flora & fauna and all of it!!! she loves exploring SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! her and adam usually have to do some kind of Royal Thing™️ while they’re anywhere, but they also take time to go off the beaten path and explore and meet local people and just dive in wherever they are. and i like to think that, in their universe, the Travel Diaries of Queen Belle remain very well-preserved throughout time, and are some of the coolest artifacts in french history 🤌

she love baking and cooking !!!!!! she doesn’t get to do it very often since being the queen and having a million other responsibilities, but it was always one of her favorite things to do both for and with her father. and she LOVES the giant ass castle kitchen, i just know she goes crazy in there at least once a week. it’s the most fun when she’s pregnant and having wild cravings. she makes insane concoctions that literally do not taste good but she loves them. i have another random little unposted scene of adam finding her in the kitchen, acting like a mad scientist cooking three different things at once, and adam gets suspicious and asks if she’s pregnant again lmao. she laughs and says she isn’t, she just happened to be reading a cook book recently gifted to her and she couldn’t decide which to try first so she’s making 3 at once!!!!!!!! (but not combined. THAT would definitely be the indicator of another little one)

speaking of her babies!!!!!!!! gosh what can i say about my mama belle headcanons? one big and important one that i have is that she elects to nurse her own babies. which, as you can imagine, is super uncommon for a QUEEN to do. i elaborate on it in This Fic, but essentially she just couldn’t bring herself to adhere to the tradition of a wet nurse. i think because she wanted to find a way to be closer to the mother she lost as an infant, she wanted to do everything her mother did for her before she died. i think her pregnancies, ESPECIALLY her first, were when she thought about her mother the most. because… that was the most time they spent together 🫠 her mother died when belle was only three months old!!!! and she knew, of course, that her mother nursed her. i just think she felt this deep need to honor her & connect to her this way. and adam was originally advocating for a wet nurse, purely thinking about time efficiency, how busy belle is and how much work time she’d have to give up to do this, but after hearing her lament her mother and cry that she couldn’t be here to help show her how to be a mama… he understood. he knows how desperate one can be to connect to a lost mama :( so he supports his queen and they never hire a permanent wet nurse for their children! (there was a temporary one for a FEW times they HAD to go on small trips when they had a baby and they just couldn’t take her or him, but it was only under that kind of urgent/dire circumstance.)

i think belle is an absolutely iconic and very involved queen, but early on i think she struggles with it a lot. one of my favorite things to think about for her is how like… she was an outcast in the village, but she’s STILL an outcast in royal society. like i think she had this secret hope that this new position in life would be the answer; that she’d finally find her place. and she does eventually! but at first it’s rough. adam believes in her wholeheartedly and he LOVES that she is queen, but the rest of their court doesn’t fully take to her as easily. it’s strange enough that she came out of the woodwork, not from royalty, not even from a prominent noble family as far as they can tell! but As Queen she’s so much more involved than any of them could have anticipated. the older court and council members recall adam’s mother and grandmother, both very inactive queens (because they were very abused and disregarded by their husbands…) and therefore are confused by this sudden shift (especially because they KNEW of adam’s delinquency prior to meeting her, so they can’t fathom how he’s changed so much and is so supportive of her) and the younger court and council members just have no idea how to respond. they’re all willing to play the part and respect their queen, but then she’s… actually in meetings and actually sharing ideas and plans and making decisions and it’s like ???

and not even to mention, her ideas are very ahead of her time and forward thinking — and they don’t care for that shit at all! it’s just all very strange. and french court people are gossiping little pricks and so people talk about her a lot, and she feels just as isolated and different as she did in the village. she struggles a lot with it early on. and adam does everything he can to support her and comfort her and believe in her. but he also takes a lot of the blame for how she’s treated, because he feels like it’s his fault for bringing her into this life. even though she obviously chose all of this willingly. so, it’s just TOUGH. but time does carry on, and eventually belle does have the respect of her court, at least the vast majority of it. she does find her place in the end, it just doesn’t happen as swiftly as she had hoped.

gosh, okay, one last note that i will make much lighter: she loves loves loves loves loves LOVES to read to her children. which is obvious, i know, but oh my gosh. she just loves it. she loves when adam reads to them too, but i think something fills her heart so completely when she’s sitting with them gathered on the floor, or she’s in bed and they’re snuggled around her, she’s just whisking them away to all these adventures. reading was always her escape, and i think she likes that, for them, it’s just a way to expand their dreams. she loves teaching them so much, she loves watching their little minds expand with curiosity and creativity. she never really expected to become a mother, because she wasn’t going to let herself settle in that village, so now that she IS one, i think she just loves giving them the whole world. she loves listening to them read, too. she loves listening to them talk and sing and play and laugh. she loves being a mama so much more than she ever even considered. i think because she always attached that kind of thought to being in a loveless marriage in the village she’d be stuck in forever. but there’s so much love between her and adam, it always multiples with each of their three little babies. and she didn’t have to give herself up for any of it. she gets to be a brilliant queen; a student, a teacher, a leader, while still being the best wife and mama (and daughter!!) to the ones she loves the most. i just love writing her happily ever after so much. i think she was really beginning to lose hope in that village, and i love how it all changed, and that adventure in the great wide somewhere is always right at her finger tips :”)

#WHEW that felt good #i’ve been out of town all week having little to no blorbo thoughts #now i feel ALIVE AGAIN!!!!!!!!#GOSH I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHH❤️🧡💛❤️🧡💛#thank you thank you mwah ☀️🌻#jo tag #answered #belle #batb 2017 #batb headcanons

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jerzwriter · 2 years

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What's Forever For Universe Things Unsaid Part 3/3

This fic is part of a new Tobias & Casey AU, What's Forever For? (Learn more about it here.) For those who follow my T/C HC, their background is a little different here. A headcanon will be posted in the next few days. 😊

Book: Open Heart (Post Series-Alternate Universe)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey)

Rating: Teen

Category: Angst/Short-Series/AU

Warnings: Divorce/mention of miscarriage

Series Summary: Three days. That's all that stands between Tobias and Casey Carrick and the end of their marriage. The house is sold, they've said goodbye, and now they just have to wait to make it official. But what happens if one (or both) have second thoughts?

Chapter Summary: Tobias is heading to Casey's parent's house to pick up their son, Kyle. Both of them have so much they want to say, but insecurity, fear, and other factors stand in their way. Can they overcome the obstacles? Or will this be the end?

Words: 2.5 k

A/N: Participating in @choicesflashfics, I was ambitious and used prompts #1 and #2 this week! Also participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge prompt Love (painful love, but love.) I wanted to do one more quick edit - but I won't have time to do so for a while, so I'm going to be all Elsa and let it go. (Then I'll edit on Saturday and be mad at myself... you understand lol) WFF? Universe Info & Masterlist Tobias & Casey Masterlist All Works Masterlist

Monday evening.

The sun still shone so brightly that Casey didn’t need a light on as she stared at her reflection in the mirror of her childhood bedroom. Something to be grateful for… winter's darkness was finally lifting. She would be sure to include that on her gratitude list before going to sleep tonight. Well, attempting to sleep. It was a new habit she had recently adopted, desperate to find any bit of joy to carry her through.

If the mirror could talk, it would reassure her she was beautiful and that the outfit she was inspecting was as lovely as the dozen that had come before. But Casey remained unconvinced. A quick glance around the room, and suddenly, she was back in high school, every ounce of self-confidence, gone.

But that insecure teenager didn’t exist anymore. She had been replaced by an accomplished physician, one of the brightest of her generation… admired, respected, and renowned. Until recently, she had it all. One half of the dynamic duo… the Doctors Carrick: medical marvels by day, loving… excessively so… couple by night. They did it all with aplomb and looked damn good as they did. When baby Kyle came along, the picture was complete. Everything was perfect. Right? So how’d she end up here?

She pulled a pink sweatshirt over her head and tossed it on the growing pile of rejects scattered on the floor. Apparently that insecure teenager had never been too far away after all.

She had already decided to wear her old baby blue jeans that fit like a second skin. Comfortable and worn, they were like an old friend, and she needed that more than anything. Sure, they looked great on her, and there was a time when he couldn’t keep his hands off her when she wore them, but Casey pushed that out of her mind. That wasn’t why she chose them, she insisted. It had nothing to do with that at all.

A soft cream-colored cardigan over a lacy camisole was the next contender. She twisted around, studying her reflection… No. It was too much. She couldn’t look like she was trying; she couldn’t even bring herself to admit that she was. This could easily turn into a nearly wordless handoff of their son. Parenting agreements, custody arrangements… all part of her new world. Tobias would likely see her for all of five minutes without a care about how she looked or what she wore. But… if he noticed… she couldn’t have him thinking she was primping for the past hour, even if it were true.

A deep sigh escaped her. She didn’t know if she was brave enough to keep her promise to Sienna. Her confidence was stronger when telling him the truth was an abstract idea and a full day away. Now that the moment approached, courage seemed to escape her.

I love you, Tobias. I never stopped. I think we rushed into this, and if we try a little harder, I know we can make our marriage, our family work. I love you, and I don’t want to live without you by my side. Do you still love me? Do you want me, too?

It was easy when she practiced it a thousand times in her head. Ashe envisioned a beautiful rom-com ending for a love she knew would last forever – together or not. But as the moment approached, it was a past conversation that kept creeping into her mind.

“I can’t do this anymore, Casey. I’ve tried, we’ve tried… we always end up back here. This isn’t what we got married for. We have to accept… I know it’s hard, but… but… We’re not going to make it. Our marriage, it’s over. I have nothing else left to give.”

She survived hearing those words once, just barely; but she was unsure if she had the wherewithal to do it again. The numbing acceptance that defined her new reality was temporarily interrupted by a vision of a happy ending. But what if he said no? Could she remove the bandage and expose the wound once more? She wasn't sure she could.

The sound of voices near the front porch pulled her from her thoughts.

“Shit!” she muttered, pulling the pink sweatshirt back over her head. It would have to do. She glanced at the clock, he was twenty minutes early, and she was unprepared. Already, things were not going as planned.

~~~~~

His hands were still white knuckling the steering wheel, even though he had put the car into park over five minutes before. He glanced at his watch; it was early. He didn’t want to look desperate… or inconsiderate… for all he knew, he could be the last person she wanted to see. For a man who had spent most of his life with assured confidence frequently bordering on cocky, these feelings still left him lost. Doubt, insecurity, confusion, regret… they weren’t in his vocabulary before. He learned that he was infallibly human, and he didn’t like it one bit.

Taking one last look in the mirror, he jumped out of the car before he lost his nerve. His feet were carrying him down the narrow concrete path that led to Casey’s parent’s home. He had been lucky enough to avoid his parents-in-law on previous handoffs. He told himself it would be better when he and Casey settled into their new places. Then he remembered that wasn’t what he wanted at all. It would be better if….

“Tobias,” Rose called out, doing her best to be polite.

His luck had to run out sooner or later, he turned to her with a nervous smile.

“Hey,” he said, not knowing what to call her anymore. The comfortable, Ma, he had used for the past decade sure didn’t seem to fit anymore. “It’s been a while.”

“Mmm. Just another thing we’ll have to get used to. You’re early,” she observed. “Kyle’s out getting ice cream with David. They should be back soon.”

Her arms crossed in front of her chest, and she did not offer to invite him inside. She knew the day would come when she’d have to be more cordial, for Kyle’s sake, but that day was not today.

“OK… I uh… was wondering if…” he stumbled. “You know what, I’ll just wait in the car.”

But before he could walk away, the front door crashed open, and like a vision, Casey appeared. For a moment, she was sixteen again. The boy her parents deemed unsuitable was attempting to make a call, and Rose was in momma-bear mode sending him away. But she wasn’t sixteen anymore, and the decision was hers to make.

“Hi,” Tobias smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry I’m early. I was just going to wait in…”

“No…” she halted. “Mom, I need to talk to Tobias alone. Would you give us some time?”

“You’re of age,” Rose shrugged. “I’ll be in the garden if you need me.”

Tobias’s cheeks turned red and he was uncertain if it stemmed from anger or shame. Their marriage was ending, but did Rose seriously think he’d do Casey any harm? But then again, how could he blame her? For he already had.

The estranged couple settled into the living room, Casey offered to get him a drink. He politely declined. Accepting her hospitality just didn’t seem fair. He sat perched on one end of the couch as Casey cautiously took her place on the other.

“So,” he spoke softly, eyes fixed on his fidgeting hands, “you wanted to talk.”

“Uh, yeah,” Casey stammered. “I just… we haven’t really had the chance to talk since our last day at the house, and… well… it’s just two days away now.”

Perhaps he would have noticed the tears in her eyes if he were looking her way, but shame prevented him from doing so.

“Yeah,” he sighed ruefully. “Two days.”

“I… I was wondering… is there anything we need to… do… before then?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I suppose the lawyers would tell us if we did.”

“Yeah,” she scoffed. “The lawyers….”

Anxiety began to grip her and Casey turned her gaze away, fixing it on Tobias’s keys and phone tossed on the coffee table. Silence weighed heavy in the room, and the longer it hung, the more forming words felt impossible.

Tobias hadn’t intentionally let the silence linger; he was lost in thought weighing what option would be worse… returning to his mother’s and admitting he didn't tell Casey he loved her and didn’t want their marriage to end. Or telling Casey the truth and risking eviscerating rejection once more.

“Casey, I don’t want this. I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I always will. I know you think I just wasn’t meant to be married, and you know what… you’re one -hundred percent right. I never was. Until I met you. If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you. We gave up too easily, and ignoring our problems wouldn’t make them go away. I love you, I want you… please, please give us one more chance.”

“Tobias?”

Casey’s voice beckoned him back to the present.

“Yeah…” he startled, “I was just… thinking….”

“I was saying Kyle will be back any moment now, so… if there was anything we wanted to say… now would be the time.”

“Casey,” he started, “this all feels so, so….”

“Wrong,” she finished. “Look at us. We’re afraid to even speak to each other; this is never who we were.”

“It’s not,” he sighed. “We got so lost along the way.”

“We did,” she choked back tears. “You were my best friend before you became much more…then you were my everything….” she bit her lip, heart and head still battling over what to say.

“I loved being your everything,” he smiled. “And I loved when you were mine… my everything. But we have Kyle, we’re still a family.”

“But what if we didn’t… have Kyle,” she interrupted. “Would you still want any part of me? Or would you let me go?”

“What… what do you mean?”

“If there was no Kyle, just us… would this be it? Would I never see you again?”

“Oh, Casey,” he gasped, fighting a visceral reaction to take her in his arms. “I hate to think of a world where you aren’t a part of my life. But I’ve got to admit….” He stopped, afraid to continue, but Casey wasn’t letting him off.

“Admit what?”

“The only reason I might… be done… is because I don’t know how I’ll handle the pain of having you in my life, knowing you’re no longer mine. I guess… I have to, for Kyle. But, Jesus, I don’t want to.”

“You… you don’t want to?” her heart raced at his words.

“No! No,” he said as a single tear rolled down his cheek. “That isn’t what I meant. A voice inside his head was screaming, tell her, but another yelled just as loudly, telling him he had no right.

Their minds both wandered… a montage of their lives flashed before their eyes. Good friends who had become lovers, so in love, they could barely breathe. A life he never imagined but welcomed with open arms. Her face at the altar and his as he carried her over the threshold of their new home. All the dreams, the plans… now gone. He kissed her forehead as she cradled their newborn son. Perfection. There was no way their life would ever be anything but light. Then came the exhaustion, the demands, the misunderstandings, and the fights… real life crept in on their fairy tale and refused to let go. The compromises that left both feeling like they lost, always followed by resentment. Casey lying in a hospital bed weeping, mourning a life that never had a chance to begin. The dark, dark days that followed, when the chasm only widened. They forgot who they were, forgot the promises they had made, and instead of turning to each other, they both turned away. Tension, anger, misunderstandings… they took control.

“You don’t trust me!”

“Why should I? You’re rarely here, and when you are, you're a million miles away. I know what it felt like to be wanted by you… and I don’t feel that anymore.”

“Life changes, Casey! But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you!”

“Really? So I’m the only one you want?”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean? Yes! You are… you... you don't believe me?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Then we have a real problem! Because if you don't even trust me, I don’t know what we have left.”

The bottom fell out, and it never came back. There was no reason for her not to trust him, but he never took the time to understand why she no longer did. He wasn’t avoiding her, but she never bothered to find out what he was. And now, in two days, they were getting the only solution they thought they had. Until now….

“Tobias,” Casey whispered. “I know this may sound crazy, but I was wondering….”

A loud ring interrupted her train of thought… life’s all about timing. She wasn’t snooping, but instinctively turned its way.

Miranda.

Casey fell back into the couch, visibly defeated. Tobias turned off his ringer and threw the phone in his pocket. He tried to pick up where they had left off, but the train had already derailed.

“You’re still friends?” Casey sniveled.

“Yes. Just friends. I never said we weren’t.”

“You have Kyle for the next four days. She's not going to be around him, is she?"

Tobias’s jaw clenched. “No, she's not. But one day she likely will be. Are you telling me Kyle ever around Bryce? He’s never around your friends?”

“That’s different.”

“How? How is it different, Casey?"

“Because Miranda hates me! She was all too willing to tell you how you'd be better off without me. God only knows what she put in your head and I won’t have her do it with my son.”

“She doesn’t hate you! And she never told me to leave you! No, she’s not your biggest fan, but, in fairness, you treated her like shit."

“I treated her like shit because she didn’t respect me. I was your wife, and she didn't know her goddamn place!"

With a shake of his head, Tobias jumped to his feet. "You know what... I didn't come here for this. We've spent countless hours fighting over Miranda, and I have no desire to do it again.”

"I couldn’t agree more. Besides,” she swallowed, "we’ll be divorced in two days. Your friends, and any other relationships you may have, will no longer be any of my concern.”

Tobias shook his head as he shifted on the balls of his feet. "You were going to say something before the phone rang… is there anything... do you want to….”

“No. It was nothing,” she replied. “It's just... this is hard. It's so hard.”

“It is,” he lamented, sadly reaching out to gently stroke her face. His heart felt warm when she didn't retreat.

“Life’s changing for us, Casey…in big ways, but I will always love you. I need for you to know that.”

“I… I do,” her voice quivered. “And I’ll always love you, too.”

“I think I’ll wait for Kyle outside. I’ll… I’ll have him call you tonight before he goes to bed."

“Please do,” Casey wept, no longer trying to contain her tears. “I wish… I wish things had turned out differently, Tobias. I really do.”

“Yeah," he chuckled sadly, so do I. But what did you say the day we moved out of the house? It was a beautiful dream.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she sniffled. “It was.”

Tobias reached over and took her hand in his, grasping it so tight, he never wanted to let go.

“You know, some nights, I have these dreams.... nothing specific, but in them, you and I are together. They’re back when things were still so good, when we were magic, and couldn't have imagined it would change. When I have them, I wake up it feels like you were there with me…you know? For a brief time, I get to have that again.”

“I know,” she wiped away her tears and tried so hard to be strong. “Sometimes, I have those dreams too… and it feels the same way.... but...."

"But?"

"I miss you SO much when I have them. It’s wonderful and hurts like hell at the same time.”

“I know," he sighed. "So, how about this? From now on, when either of us has one of those dreams, we'll remind ourselves the other may be having one, too. Maybe we couldn’t make things work in the real world, but in our dreams, that's something else. We’ll always be together in our dreams… and no one can ever take that from us.”

“You’re right,” she whispered, turning her eyes toward the floor, the pain almost searing. She needed to escape... cut this short... there was no way she could take anymore. “So, Wednesday..." she smiled sadly. "You and me? The courthouse? Will you be there?"

“Our last date,” he half smiled. “How could I miss it. I'll see you there. Good night, Casey." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head as both fought back tears, then he walked out the door without looking back.

In the days that followed, they convinced themselves they were doing the right thing. It would be foolish to go turn back. They didn’t make this choice lightly, and they had reasons. It was cold feet, they surmised, they just had to be strong. But deep down, both knew these were excuses. The truth was, fear prevented them from taking that step.

In the days, and years that followed, they each learned the most painful lesson of all:

Unspoken words never go away, they live forever in our hearts, haunting the corners of our minds. The one question never answered… “What if?” That became their burden to bear.

A/N 2: I'm sorry! It's an AU! It's an AU! They do go to court on Wednesday, and I HC each asks their lawyers, privately, what would happen if they called it off. The lawyers aren't helpful, telling them the perils of calling things off, only to file again, and in their experience, most couples end up filing again. Discouraged, each of them puts on a brave face and signs the papers. They leave the courthouse together, and Tobias walks Casey to her car where he tells her, “So much, we give it so much, and with one signature, it's over." 😭😭 But it's not over, their story hasn't reached its end.

In this universe, I want to explore real life. Where problems aren't miraculously solved. Friends and family aren’t always supportive. Issues don't disappear. Where pride and stubbornness take charge and leave people broken in their path. But we will also see the resilience of the human spirit and how people can move on, even when their heart is broken.

Will they end up together in the end? Perhaps. (She said cagily.) But if they do, it's a long and winding road that will highlight how love exists in many forms. How it morphs and changes over time, and most importantly, how… when its real… it never ends.

Perma: @a-crepusculo @animesuck3r @annoyingmillenialnewbie @crazy-loca-blog @differenttyphoonwerewolf @doriopenheart @fayeswiftie @gryffindordaughterofathena @genevievemd @inlocusmads @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kingliam2019 @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @onikalover @openheartforeverinmyheart @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @secretaryunpaid @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @jerzwriter-reblogs-asks @choicesmonthlychallenge @openheartfanfics

OH: @annfg8 @binny1985 @coffeeheartaddict2 @mysticalgalaxysstuff @ofmischiefandmedicine @peonierose @youlookappropriate

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90 @kyra75

#open heart fanfic #choices fanfic #tobias carrick #tobias carrick x mc #ALTERNATE UNIVERSE #playchoices fanfic #angst #open heart choices #choices open heart #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #choices monthly challenge

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pxrplecxin · 9 months

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“MAD!”

hey everyone! i know i’ve not posted much christmas stuff this season i promise i will make it up. but lately i’ve been very down with myself on who i am. growing up i’ve always been viewed as the weird kid and it was hard to make friends at points. i also started to develop depression a bit early in my childhood which led me to not have much social interactions for years. up until after quarantine i started to gain confidence in myself to start socializing. senior year me would shock freshman me seeing how much i’ve grown proud of myself and managed my depression enough to pull through.

now that i’m almost off on my own, noticing nothing in high school matters, and notice how much i bring comfort and belonging to people who are shy with showing themselves to others. a bit recently i dragged myself out of a low point (minor low point but still roughly had some emotional impact on me) that was caused by being called “weird” for being myself. with that experience it made me really motivated to make this and just dump all my craziness onto a canvas.

i made this drawing as an acceptance to myself for who i am as a person. although i learned more about my mental illnesses it made sense to why i am the way i am. i put so much effort and passion into this f*ck off statement that it felt greedy if i didn’t post a time lapse too!

my page has and always will be a safe haven for “weird kids” and will forever be owned by a fellow “weird kid” 💜

#procreate #black artist #original #original character #melanie martinez #procreate art #small artist #art support #pxrple cxin #💜

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brokenbones-tellstories · 2 years

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I’m getting sad again. I don’t know if its the SAD or purely circumstantial, but I’m sad. I’ve spent a lot of time over the past several days thinking about a lot of things I’ve tried very hard to put to rest and I simply can’t. I’ve been cursed with this thing about me that makes everyone fall in love with me and as self centered or pompous or whatever you wanna call it that it sounds, it’s true. Ever since I graduated high school it’s been this constant thing that’s followed me around and I can’t shake it and it’s happening again. I swore I’d take it to my grave so I won’t go into details and give it away, even here, but it’s a thing and I don’t know what Im supposed to do with it. I’m not mad at the person for it happening, not even close. I just wish I could be different. Not as....not whatever it is. Likeable, kind, patient, empathetic, understanding...something, anything, whatever it may be. How do I explain that its this very personality that’s gotten me where I am? That someone fell so hopelessly in love with me that it near destroyed both of our lives for years on end and just when I thought I had learned my lesson, my best friend went and fell in love with me too. Since then he’s quite literally told me on more than one occasion that he wishes he never had met me and his life was better off without me in it. We barely talk about anything these days and whenever I find the courage to try and share anything with him I think he would like, I either get a simple “okay?’ back or ignored entirely. I knew from day one that no matter what I did or how hard I tried nothing would ever work out between us. It wasn’t through any fault of our own, we’re just two very different people and life has made us volatile in ways that would never be compatible. We’ve hurt each other in near unforgivable ways with our wayward feelings and there’s a lack of patience and a disrespect that cannot go ignored. We are each others worst nightmares relationally and yet the best of friends at the same time. And still I love him I love him I love him. It’s a constant never ending thought and everything, every. single. fucking. thing. goes back to him. How we were in the city together every single time I was up there whether we even knew it or not. How our paths almost crossed before we even knew the other existed. How the very first conversation we had about a new show coming to broadway was the same one we watched the final performance of, together, four years later. He, my endlessly frustrating, infuriating best friend who hates the very ground I walk on and still would come back to me, no questions asked, if I ever allowed him the chance. A

nd then there’s the rest of everything. My best friend dipped out of my life without a word spoken and even after a year and I half I still don’t have an explanation from her. We’ve spoken cordially since, but when I threw out the olive branch asking for lunch or dinner, hoping for a chance to talk, she said no. The anger comes and goes like the seasons. I don’t always feel good enough to be her friend and I often wonder if it’s my own insecurities getting in the way, or if its my new found self respect telling me that I deserve better. Whatever the case may be, I miss her more than anything. I wonder who her daughter is growing to be. I want to ask her what happened with her ex. I want to know if she’s okay. I wanted her to meet my son and to be happy I’m happy. To breathe that sigh of relief with me when I realized I was happy and okay and I had survived the single worst year of my life. She was supposed to be there forever. The champion of all my insane ideas and my adventure buddy. That girl would’ve gone anywhere with me until she didn’t.

Then there’s the world itself. Our crumbling economy and inflation that’s gotten so out of hand we’re barely keeping afloat. I can’t even afford to put lights on the christmas tree that was gifted to us this year. It’s my sons first christmas and I cant buy him the things I want to. The tags on my car are years out of date and I have an outstanding ticket from it that if I Got pulled over again I’d be arrested. My license is expired and I can’t renew it without paying for the car which means I can’t fly to chicago for my best friends wedding next fall. I don’t have enough money to pay my bills each month as it is. How can I save hundreds of dollars for the car and a license. And why the fuck was I so stupid two years ago and let it go ignored? I was only out of work for three weeks. I could very well have handled it then and I didn’t. I’m 27 years old and I’ve amounted to nothing I wanted to. I work part time in a coffee shop and I don’t know anything different. If I work full time, all my extra money would go to childcare and negate the entire point of working more. I Literally can’t win for losing. I dropped out of college twice because of finances and an inability to cope with life. I want to go back so bad it hurts. I want to be the first, and likely only one of us siblings to obtain a degree. I want to do it for myself. For my son. I need to. I need to accomplish this thing to know it can be done. I need to check it off my bucket list if only for spite because there was a time I didn’t think i’d even live to get my diploma....why stop there? The ultimate fuck you is a life lived and lived well. I’m just tired and tired of everything and I hate that I can’t stop thinking even for a second.

Make it fcking stop.

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threephantomrey · 2 years

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today marks exactly one year since i found out i’m autistic.

so, i kind of don’t know where to start when talking about this… i’ll probably give only some details on my experiences with it growing up (and also my experience with not even knowing that i had autism for most of my life) i did say in a tweet during December of 2021 that i was diagnosed with ASD at age 4, and i have said in a post on here that i am autistic a couple of months ago, and reblogged some other posts that mentioned/are about autism, but other than that, i haven’t talked about it a lot, so i thought i would make this post.

i guess i’ll start with my diagnosis first. i was officially diagnosed with it when i was 4 years old. i have no memory of this at all (i only know because my mom told me when i asked her, which was on October 12th of last year to be exact) so i don’t have much else to say about actually being diagnosed except that i’m thankful that i was able to because i know that not everyone is able to get diagnosed.

anyways, throughout my childhood, i was a very quiet kid. i didn’t have a lot of friends, i’d say i had 3 friends in total. i always found it hard to make friends/talk to most of the other kids in my classes, and even when the adults around me told me that i had to “talk more” “ask for help” or “make some new friends,” i still couldn’t do it most of the time. i didn’t know why. my mom, and also a lot of people around me just said that i was very shy. so, that’s what i thought too. now, i’m not saying that i’m not shy, because i’m pretty sure i am, but i always had a feeling that this was more than that. that it wasn’t just that. and now i know why.

i still do struggle with that these days. having difficulty with social interaction is what i struggle with the most. i also very much struggled/still struggle with eye contact too, which i didn’t even realize until recently.

now i’m going to discuss special interests and hyperfixations. my main special interest has always been the Scooby Doo franchise ever since i was 3 years old, and will forever be that. i’ve had other special interests and many hyper-fixations over the years, (shows, movies, specific songs, etc.) and i never knew that those were the terms for that, so i always just called them obsessions. but now that i know the actual terms i just use those words instead.

growing up, i don’t think i actually heard the word autism until i was in middle school. i never really knew anything about it though, because no one ever told me. it was only after i found out that i am autistic that i started doing some research on it. before i found out though, i think i did almost think to myself “do i have it?” after seeing some posts about autism online. almost though, not quite. and also there was this one time when i was in my very early teen years and i wondered if i was neurodivergent, but i think i just shrugged it off and said to myself “nah, probably not.” but i’ve never actually had the suspicion that i was autistic.

when i actually found out i was autistic, the first thing i thought to myself was “huh, well that makes sense.” and truly, it did make a lot of sense to me. right after i found out, i was really just mad about not knowing for most of my life and not about actually being autistic. but i haven’t been mad about that for a while now so i’m good. i have learned many things about autism in the past year, and i’m 100% sure i still have a lot of learn.

there’s probably more that i could say, but i think for right now this is all i have to say about it.

#autism #autistic #this post is very long oh my #a more personal post than most of the other posts i’ve made

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coldhardbinch · 1 year

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Woke up with some things on my mind yesterday and decided to write something Real for once 🙃

Church has always been my family business.

One of my earliest memories is giving my mother attitude while she pulled into the church parking lot. I’d spent the morning trying to convince her that I was too sick to go to church (I was not remotely ill) and she looked at me in the rear view and said, “You’re getting to that age where you don’t want to go to church.”

I don’t remember the whole lecture (I was probably about 3) but the gist of it was that this was not a feeling I was allowed to have. As the pastor’s kids, we were never supposed to be anything but thrilled to be at church. Nevermind that we were there more often than anyone, or that from the second we pulled into the parking lot, we were being scrutinized by the bitties and the deacons, so maybe we didn’t really feel all that welcome here. Them’s the brakes, kid. You’ll go to church, you’ll stay late, and you’ll enjoy it.

When I was a teenager trying to flake out on praise team practice, my father said to me, “The Bible says if you don’t use the gifts God gave you, He’ll take them away.” I went to practice and learned to sing simple songs about a simple faith. I could sing of Your love forever. My brother-in-law led us on his acoustic guitar every Sunday morning. My brother ran sound. My sister corralled her five children into church clothes, then the van. When she was late, I had a perfect view of the whisperers, the gossips, the Did You Notice crowd.

When I moved away from home, I comforted my parents by telling them there was a good Baptist church in my new neighborhood. I never went. When they asked, I lied. Sometimes, when I can get a Sunday off. Eventually, they stopped asking. I rarely called, anyway. I sang in the car, with my friends, in dive bars for karaoke and began to believe that maybe this was somehow my religion.

My sister and I came out to each other via text on the same night. She made a joke about leaving her husband and dating girls. The kind of joke I recognized. I texted back: “So, girls, huh?” and soon we were laughing. “Girls are so pretty!” “Who isn’t obsessed with boobs?”

She left her husband that year. My parents’ adjustment period took some time, some difficult conversations, some days where I was too mad at my mother to speak to her at all. On Thanksgiving, they held a big breakfast that included my ex-brother-in-law’s new wife, my sister’s new girlfriend, and her three kids. I video called in for moral support. My father made sure I was “there” before starting a little sermon about our family’s new normal. Change is hard but can be good, or something. I was out of practice, hadn’t heard him preach in years, tuned out a bit out of habit. Near the end, he turned to whoever was holding the phone showing my face, and credited me with helping to make these changes happen. I just kind of smiled, not sure how to respond. A response I've given him many times. Then everyone went back to their bacon.

That Christmas, I came home and came out of my own closet, to much less fanfare. Everyone kind of Knew, You Know.

I think about that Thanksgiving more and more as my siblings’ children grow up, become their own people. Be allowed to be their own person at all, rather than the Optics Approved Pastor’s Kid. They wear their hair and makeup in ways my parents would never have allowed us to, in defiance of gender norms and sometimes good sense. Openly read books, watch movies, listen to music that I remember having to smuggle past my parents. They go out to plays that have nothing to do with Christmas, Easter, or any part of the Bible. They go on out-of-state school trips, far from their parents’ watchful eyes, without a single religious official around to remind them that Jesus Died For Them.

I think of those little babies, now full-fledged People, running unsupervised through Disneyland. Out with their friends with no fear of being Caught Dressed Like This. Standing up to their dick of a youth pastor. Going away for college. Prioritizing themselves over the 24-hour family business that is being the pastor’s family. And my heart swells to bursting. There is so much in this world that I can’t shield them from, that I simply cannot change. But seeing them spared a few of the specific lonlinesses of my youth heals some part of me I’d forgotten was even broken.

And I think about that Thanksgiving, and all the lonely ones I spent away from family, knowing I would have felt lonlier with them. I think I may always be a bit of a stranger to my family. I think that’s how I prefer it. But I know that I made my family a little less lonely for the next generation. When I see my father’s eyes in my face and so many others, it no longer feels like the gaze of a vengeful god.

#she writes #prose #religious trauma hits different when it was literally your job

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speakmindfully · 1 year

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I think I hurt my own feelings today, and I swear… every time I feel like I’m moving forward, I’m moving backwards. But now it feels more like, instead of one step forward, two steps back, it’s more two steps forward one step back. How do I stop stepping back? How do I only look forward? I keep coming back to this graphic- how it’s made me completely redefine how I see and understand processing pain.

I got off of social media because it was showing me too many reminders and sneak peeks into a life I didn’t want to associate with. I re-downloaded it to follow my EMT school on Instagram, and of course, I should have just kept it deleted. I saw my ex on another girl’s Instagram, on what I assume was a date, as they’ve been close for awhile. I know the girl from school, and we cross paths every so often. I knew this day would come, and I have no idea what their relationship is like but for my own well-being I’m going to assume the worst and assume they’re dating now. Luckily her and I only have a few mutual friends but none I think I’d run into. I hate that seeing him look so happy made me feel sick. I hate that my intestines torse and I immediately lose my appetite. I hate that it makes me sad. I hate that I want to cry.

I hate that I have to replay in my mind constantly the things that I shouldn’t want about him. I have to tell myself that the way I was treated is not the way I would want to pick back up. I hate that I will never not feel this way. It makes me feel like I’m falling into madness thinking that THIS is how life just will be now. The occasional flicker of a post, a sighting, and I feel like being sick . I wish I didn’t still care. I wish I could cling to the bad, and rid him in my mind of anything good. I wish I could villainize him the way everyone else can. I WISH I could. How easy that would be. Is this the thing I have to learn to grow through? Is THIS my burden? Being plagued by this man forever and questioning whether or not I was the one who was wrong?

I’ve been doing exceptionally well at keeping myself distracted, but man it can get difficult. Dreams, constantly. Once a week even sometimes. He’s there, not in memories or waking thoughts but in my dreams. The dreams aren’t even replays of what was, it’s all new. The dreams shrivel me up in ways I’ve never felt pain. The way I’ll wake up from a dream and just feel so numb, I’ll make it to the car for wherever I’m going and just sob. And I can’t even explain what emotion I feel or why I am, just that it’s connected to him. I almost WANT him to be dating her, so it can really force him away that much more.

If I couldn’t have the ideal version of him that I needed, I need him as far away as possible. I can hate parts of him, but never all of him. I stopped loving parts of him, but not all of them. I wish he would stop plaguing me. He’s “won” every battle we’ve ever had, everything but like once or twice. I never got an ounce of the same grace I gave him. It makes me sick also that I could continue giving to someone like that. It sounds superficial to say but dealing with the choice loss of him has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The way I CHOSE to do this and yet parts of me still cling to him. The way I feel is so corrosive, it’s bad for me and it just eats away at me from the inside out. I feel like I’m betraying myself and I have no idea where it’s coming from. Where do these feelings come from? Do I just fake like I don’t care until I don’t care? It’s worked with everything else in my life but this. He is my Achilles because I’ve never “won” with him. I’m always under his thumb, I just want to be free. My poor heart who’s just trying to protect me, and give all my love to ME, is being hijacked and thrown into cage. It’s like holding hands through prison bars. If you close your eyes and pretend you’re free while holding the hands of a loved one you can almost convince yourself you’re free but when you open your eyes the bars are still there, blocking you ever so slightly from that full embrace.

I feel like I’m so close to freedom I can taste it, but as long as he exists around me, or I live in fear he’s around me, the less my jar grows. I’m prioritizing ALL my time, energy, and love into my closest friends, my work, and my career passions. It’s been amazing and fulfilling, and it’s slowly eating away at the bad feelings I’m trying to escape. The grief. My heart has never hurt like this. It’s because I was in charge of making it feel this way. I was the one who pushed away. It’s MY doing. And it burns like a paper cut every fucking time. I don’t know how to keep growing my jar like in the picture. I want my jar so big I can barely see the grief. I feel so sick. So empty. So conflicted. I want to push everyone else away from me. I don’t want anyone romantically near me. I feel like an electric fence. I’m trying to be an electric fence. I want nothing to do with any feelings that could remind me of the joy of love. I want to grow in every way but in love. Love is too painful. Love is too much hurt. I never want to love this way ever again. I don’t know if I even want to find love again… any possible reminder of love feels like acid bubbling in my stomach threatening to come vomiting out, scalding every inch it touches on the way out. Leaving a shaky, cold, empty, nauseating illness behind. The idea of love right now feels like stomach acid. It aches it pains it hurts. I hate that he ruined this for me. I hate that he makes me feel like it’s my fault. I lost part of myself. A part I can’t decide if I want back. I wish it would all go away. If I just moved it would go away.

I’m swimming deeper into the abyss with these thoughts they should have stayed under wraps. I want it all to go away. He’ll break me if I can’t make it disappear. Fuck him. Fuck love. Fuck it all.

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ukiyokki · 4 years

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mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

#dnf #dreamnotfound #dream not found #dreamnotfound fic #dreamnotfound fanfic #dreamnotfound fanfiction #dnf fic #dnf fanfic #dnf fanfiction #dnf fic rec #dreamnotfound fanfiction recommendations #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #i’m ok i swear #i read too much fanfiction #i should probably go to bed

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all-might-can-smash-me · 4 years

Text

Dad/Family headconons

Masterlist

Aizawa, Taishiro, Toshinori, Sir Nighteye, and Hawks

Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

Despite him being that kind of nonchalant, I don’t give a shit about anything kind of person.....he’s a family guy

Loves kids

He just wants you to have a huge army of kids following alongside you hand in hand to visit him at work.

Looks forward to being able to relate to someone else with his quirk

Doesn’t care if they are all girls, all boys, a mixture of both, or even fostering or adopting, he’s for everything

Was kind of afraid to open up about that side of himself when you two got married, but you are all for it too

Feels that he can handle it with your help thanks to having some experience with dealing with his students

Is slapped in the face with shock when you two have your first 2 or 3 kids because infants are, you guessed it, nothing like teens who are all emotional about becoming a prohero

Guess he would be prepared for whenever they would get to their teenage years

Except for periods because he didn’t know anything about them but he’ll probably take the time to learn about it from you

Still happy over his growing army though

Still loves the chaos of it all, plus it’s good to have Aizawa to control their quirks when they start to develop

The chaos also reminds him of his own time in school with his few friends he had....they were always so vibrant and loud unlike him and he kind of envied it (secretly)

Yamada and Kayama (Present Mic and Midnight) loves to visit his little army and spoil them with toys and snacks even if Aizawa disapproved of it

You helped hand out the toys and snacks.....Aizawa could suck it up

Napping piles are normal in this household, so don’t be freaked when you see all of your children curled up or around Aizawa under a pillow fort in the living room.

It breaks his heart everytime though when his kids beg to take a stray cat home and he has to say no....but he’ll end up going back on patrol to feed it and then probably cave in and bring it home anyway

He’ll just shrug off his children’s accusations of him being a ‘hypocrite’ for saying no to their pleas earlier and say something like ‘Well I said you couldn’t do it, nothing about me though’

The tea parties are lit and he’ll crush anyone at a video game

Taishiro Toyomistu/Fatgum

Really never thought about having his own kids until meeting Kirishima and Tamaki

Life was changed FOREVER since meeting them, now he would like to have his own family

It was kind of confusing to finally have the talk of having kids a couple of years into your marriage, but your views on having kids were changed too after meeting the two UA students

He let you on thinking just one or two kids were great, but you didn’t know if you should have been surprised that you were in the hospital room pushing out your 5th child

It was kind of funny to see Taishiro freaking out even if it was his 5th time next to you in labor

Your kids were so use to it they just sat out in the hallway doing their schoolwork or playing games on their iPads as Kirishima and Tamaki watched over them (your labor would always catch them while they were out on patrol)

I picture that all his kids are girls

He uses the excuse “just one more kid, maybe this time it’ll be a boy”, It’s NEVER a boy

I feel that he’s the dad to sneak home McDonald’s fries or ice cream to his kids despite you not liking it

Will take the blame when you catch one of your daughters munching on fries on the way back to her room (daughters will also try to take the blame, but how the heck could girls 13 and younger sneak out all the way to McDonalds)

He’ll also get all his daughters together to bake a cake and also decorate it. The creativity shown by his daughters will always amaze him.

He and his daughters would even clean up the kitchen together...mostly so that you wouldn’t get mad upon seeing the kitchen as a disaster

Gets way into watching Barbie’s Life in the Dream House and secretly really loves our queen Raquelle

All Might/Toshinori Yagi

Just wants one little girl

To spoil her ROTTEN!

Seeing his friend David Sheild’s daughter Melissa grow up and look so happy always made him envious. Young Midoriya also played a huge role in his desire for at least one kid

One child was enough for the two of you and thankfully your first and only child was a girl

Gran Torino will also spoil her rotten along with Sir Nighteye

Will not be embarrassed to be caught sprawled out on the ground with your daughter playing with dolls

He’s actually quite proud of the fact that he doesn’t mind getting down and dirty when it comes to playing with ‘girly’ things with his young daughter unlike other dads

Loves to play Studio Ghibli movies for your daughter.....but Yagi is way more into it

I say this because Toshinori will try to hide his tears while watching My Neighbor Totoro as your daughter is fast asleep on his lap.

He will also sneak in a rated pg-13 hero movie from the United States in when your gone too....and then he’ll act surprise when your daughter would repeat the fowl language she heard in the movie

He would and WILL spend hours on YouTube to learn how to braid hair and put bows in and ribbons

He would bring her to work a lot too to see class 1A in action

Daughter will forever be his ‘baby’, so he HATES the thought of her starting to date and get married.

So when she admitted that the boy ‘Todoroki’ in his class was handsome while heading home one day from his work, he swore off boys....

He wasn’t surprised though, she was always managing to get Todoroki to hold her hand while Toshinori would have class 1A doing scenarios in teams and showing off her hair to him and asking if he noticed anything different.

Todoroki is a good sport, he held her hand and always complimented her hair...

Yeah she was mad at Toshinori and you made him unswear off boys, especially Todoroki

Brings your daughter to work just to brag about how he did her hair to EVERYONE

Mirai Sasaki/Sir Nighteye

Eh....he didn’t want kids, never had the desire tbh

Though something about UA students’ charming personalities making these heroes want families. Mirio got him thinking one kid couldn’t be so bad

You were shocked when he asked to have a kid, but you agreed....after discussing it for awhile to make sure he wanted this

I picture him having one cute, little shy boy

Like the cute little boy with glasses who wears those cute shorts with a bug related shirt that just wants to search for roly-poly in the dirt and grass in the back yard

Very quiet and a bit shy around new people, but is literally the most polite little boy in the WORLD

Nighteye will use his quirk on his son when out looking for bugs to just see if he missed something in the grass or dirt, but that’s as far as he’ll use it

The reason why Nighteye thinks he’s so funny is because your son (and you of course along with mirio) are the only ones who laugh at his jokes, especially your son

Your son finds ANYTHING his dad says or does hilarious. His dad made a gasp of excitement along side his son upon finding a millipede? Instant laughter will follow

Those bouts of laughter from his son is the best feeling in the world to him

Tried to make your son an expert on All Might, but gave up when he came to his conclusion that your son just wasn’t into it.

It was kind of weird at first to find out his son was just simply NOT into heroes, but now he just loves the fact that his son likes what he likes and doesn’t let himself get swayed by others, even his own mom and dad

If you can’t make his little boy, his pride and joy, laugh? Sorry, but don’t talk to Nighteye or his son ever again

He will sit and listen to his little boy go on and on and on and ON about anything and never get bored (or show it). He will sit and listen intently about the cool facts about the bug he found or a plant.

He’d even listen to the longest explanation about a tiny little squiggle on a piece of paper that he drew on if it was being told by his little boy.

Will even put a meeting on hold just to answer a FaceTime from his son from your phone just to listen to him talk about a leaf he made a pressing of....and will sit there with the volume all the way up on his phone too so the others in the room can hear as well.

Will spend all night pinning bugs to a board to frame and label just for your son

Keigo Takami/Hawks

He didn’t even want to date tbh

Though when he met you? The cliche ‘love at first sight’ happened and soon the two of you were married pretty quickly and boy was he a happy man

He didn’t really even want kids either. He just didn’t want to have kids and somehow they end up with a childhood like his that’s not the greatest or most normal, plus he was happy with the little domestic life with you.

But then IT happened. You know, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much and poof, a baby? Yeah....

He was TERRIFIED, but once your first child came into the world, a new sense of happiness sparked within him, like his own eyes opened for the first time to the world

This happened twice more, ending up with his happy family consisting of you, his two boys, and his little girl.

He’s the kind of dad to have his wallet FILLED with pictures of his kids and you. He will shamelessly show them off to fans while on patrol and also to Endeavor....even if he’s seen them a trillion times. Also his office is filled with framed pictures too

He also gets in trouble a lot along with his two boys for playing to rough and loudly within the house by you, especially for flying and being too competitive with video games and ANY activity he would take part in with them.

What can he say? His sons were like the best friends he was never able to have as a kid, he wanted to take in the beauties of having an energetic family

He doesn’t play favorites, but when it comes to his little girl? Sometimes he’ll catch a feeling of her feeling like she’s the odd one out when it comes to her two older brothers and he can relate to that feeling.

So he’ll set aside some dad and daughter time to do the things she likes, like read, color, and draw

He would even let her do his hair with tiny braids and color pieces of clip in hair and many butterfly clips. Keigo would also then wear it out proudly on patrol and check his reflection MULTIPLE times to make sure everything was in place.

He would then shout to the press and paparazzi that his daughter did his hair, showing it off in the process

When the picture would come out with the headliner ‘Hawks’ New Look Thanks to Daughter’ for the news the next day, the look of pride and awe on your daughters face upon looking at the front cover of the magazines and newspapers at the store you and his family would shop at would absolutely melt his heart melt

He’s the first one to pull back the covers to let his children climb in when scared by a thunderstorm or the spooky shadow in their room even if they may be getting ‘too old’ to be doing that...according to Endeavor however, so that information might be wrong

Bribes his kids not to tell you that he entered the house through the window and not the front door

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ticklishfiend · 3 years

Text

Strawberry Milk (My Hero Academia)

Ship : Lee!Bakugou Ler!Kirishima (Kiribaku)

A/N : this took forever to make and it's the longest fic i've posted on this account so far, but i just had a lot of fun making it!! i hope you guys enjoy it, especially the lovely krbk anon who inspired this. they actually sent a few prompts that have inspired other krbk tickle fic ideas that i'll more than likely write for soon as well, but for now i hope you enjoy this!! much love <33

Summary : Kirishima stays for a sleepover at Bakugou’s childhood home, and after accidentally pissing off the explosive teen, seeks out some professional help from someone who may know the boy best: his father. From this, Kirishima learns a quick way from the boys childhood to get him forgiveness in no time.

Word Count : 5113 (jfc lmao)

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!! MWAH <33

. . .

“Are you seriously mad at me over this?” Kirishima asked with a confused, breathy chuckle. He watched as his best friend pouted with arms crossed over his chest like a child, glaring daggers into the redhead from his spot on the bed.

“Yes. And I do not plan on changing that. So don’t fucking try me, Spiky Hair” Bakugou turned his body fully away from Kirishima now, who was lounged rather comfortably on Bakugou’s orange beanbag seated on the ground. Kirishima rolled his eyes at Bakugou’s childishness, though still couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty.

After months of practically having to beg the explosive teen for a sleepover at his childhood home, the blonde finally relented and allowed Kirishima to be a guest in his home for the weekend. Bakugou’s parents were actually pretty happy to have Bakugou back at the house, even if for such a short period of time, and were even more thrilled when they realized someone actually wanted to come with him. Bakugou was never really one for making (and keeping) close friends growing up, so this was something they were definitely excited over the prospects of.

He and Bakugou had been playing video games for the past couple of hours now, their most recent game that Bakugou was now practically fuming over being...Minecraft. Bakugou had gotten pretty attached to a wolf he unsurprisingly named “Prince Homicide,” but after bringing it to a cave while mining with Kirishima, the red-head had accidentally pushed it into a vat of lava, killing it almost instantly.

So that’s where the pair were now. Bakugou seething from his spot criss-crossed on the bed, now turned away from Kirishima with his arms crossed like a child towards the wall. Kirishima sighed, pushing himself off the beanbag and walking towards Bakugou’s door.

“Look, I’m gonna go get something to drink. You want anything?” Kirishima raised his eyebrows in hopes of a response.

“Die,” was all he got.

Kirishima bit back another chuckle, opening the door before turning his head back around to look at Bakugou, who was now fiddling with his sheets and grumbling to himself angrily. “Alright, well, I’ll be back in just a minute. Hopefully you’ll have calmed yourself down enough by then.”

“I AM CALM YOU RED-HAIRED LOSER!” Bakugou yelled at the door as Kirishima quickly walked out and shut the door to avoid the small blasts he could hear shooting from the boy’s palms. Kirishima just shook his head with a grin, making his way down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

When he arrived, he saw Bakugou’s father cooking dinner on the stove. It made Kirishima smile, reminding him of his own home a little, though he hadn’t been back home in a while. He did miss his moms quite a lot since moving to the dorms, and he’ll definitely have to invite Bakugou over to meet them sometime soon.

He could smell the amazing spices his father had been adding to whatever meat and noodles he had in the pot, the scent almost burning Kirishima’s nose from how spicy he could tell it was. ‘Obviously loving spiciness must run in the family,’ Kirishima thought as he opened up the fridge, alerting the father’s attention.

“Oh, Kirishima! Are you looking for anything specific?” the man asked, looking up from his steaming pot for a moment to smile at his son’s best friend. Kirishima shot a cheerful smile right back at him.

“Oh, just some water would be fine!” he nodded, grabbing a water bottle from one of the fridge drawers, before remembering the seething boy upstairs waiting for his return. He grinned. “Actually, what does Bakugou normally drink here? At the dorms he usually has protein shakes but you probably don’t have those just lying around,” Kirishima chuckled, sitting his water bottle down on the kitchen island to look at his friend’s father.

“Well, the boy doesn’t usually like to admit it but he’s quite keen on strawberry milk,” he smiled with a nod as he went back to stirring his pot, glancing over towards Kirishima with a grin.

“Shoot, really? Didn’t peg him for the strawberry milk type of guy,” Kirishima giggled, looking back in the fridge and noticing the few bottles of strawberry milk they had lying on the shelf, probably bought when they found out Bakugou was coming home for the weekend. “He’s kinda mad at me right now so I figured I’d make a peace offering.”

“Not a bad idea, kid. I’ve had to do my fair share of those over the years. Katsuki’s always been the rather...angry type,” Masaru’s eyebrows furrowed downward towards his pot, shaking his head as if thinking of all the times the boy must’ve lost his temper at his old man.

“What did you used to do when he was little? Y’know, whenever he got all...aah!” Kirishima accentuated his little growl imitating Bakugou by shaking his hands angrily in front of him, just like how Bakugou usually does when he’s about to blow someone to kingdom come. This made Masaru laugh, shaking his head and adding a few more spices to the pot.

“Well...as of now, I usually just let his mother handle everything. But when he was little, Mitsuki and I would usually just tickle the little guy ‘til he giggled all that anger out,” Masaru smiled at the fond memories, glancing over towards Kirishima who held a wide-eyed, shocked but excited expression on his face. Masaru chuckled, pointing his spoon towards the teen. “But you did not hear this from me, understand?”

“Oh, totally, I got your back 100% Mr. Bakugou,” Kirishima saluted the man with a grin, making him laugh once more with a fond shake of the head. Kirishima lowered his hand, finally grabbing the strawberry milk from the fridge and sitting it on the counter with his water, promptly shutting the fridge door. “So...that didn’t make him angry or anything? He wouldn’t, like, explode you and Mrs. Bakugou to ashes or something?”

“Well I’m still here to tell the story, aren’t I?” Masaru gestured to his body with his spoon, Kirishima nodding with a chuckle. “Nah, he used to love it when we did that! Sometimes I think he’d pretend to be angry on purpose just so we’d play ‘Claw’ with him.”

“Claw? What’s Claw?” Kirishima asked, now leaning on the counter with his head propped up on his hand, listening intently as if this was the single most interesting thing he’d ever heard (because in all honesty? It very well might’ve been).

“Oh boy, Claw was his favorite. I would always hold his hands down so he couldn’t get away, while his mother would make a claw hand and tickle it into his stomach and ribs. It always had little Katsuki in stitches,” Masaru was very obviously enjoying remembering these fond memories of his son, seeming like he had almost completely forgotten about these fun little moments until Kirishima had brought them all back to light. “We always did it when he was being bratty, but not bratty enough to deserve a time-out. Sometimes, though, he wouldn’t even have to do anything bad, he’d just come out and ask for Claw when he felt playful. It was always so cute,” Masaru grinned widely, looking over towards Kirishima and promptly pointing his spoon back at the boy. “And, again you didn’t hear any of this from me, but…”

He paused, almost debating whether or not this was a good idea. He was finally swayed on his decision, however, when he saw the bright look of excitement in Kirishima’s eyes at the prospect of an actually happy Bakugou. He couldn’t help but cave.

“...but if you wanna really get him laughing, his worst spots are the spot riiiiight under his armpits, and the sides of his thighs. You get him there and he’ll be forgiving you in no time.”

Kirishima nodded with a large, toothy grin, swiping the drinks off the counter and practically bouncing in his spot as he backed his way out of the kitchen. “Thank you so much, Mr. Bakugou. It was truly an honor to know you, but I’ve got a death sentence waiting for me upstairs.”

“You get him, kiddo!” Masaru shouted towards the teen as he scurried his way out of the kitchen and towards the stairs giddily.

Kirishima was practically cheesing when he made his way towards Bakugou’s childhood bedroom, and had to mentally and physically calm himself down before entering so as not to alert Bakugou of his devious scheme.

He pushed the door open, finding Bakugou to now be leaning with his back against the wall, arm propped up on his knee as he scrolled mindlessly through his phone. He scowled upon hearing Kirishima’s entrance, not even bothering to look up towards the boy as he grumbled, “Damn, I was hoping you were gonna stay down there all night.”

Kirishima rolled his eyes, tossing the milk onto the bed beside the blonde and hopping onto it himself. Bakugou’s eyes widened at the sudden movement beside him, eyes darting down to the drink on his bed before scowling back up at Kirishima. “How the fuck did you know I like this shit, I never drink it at school.”

Kirishima grinned, opening up his own water bottle. “Oh, just a little birdy,” he giggled, taking a sip of his water and watching as Bakugou begrudgingly took his own drink and started opening it as well.

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you, moron. These are just...really good,” Bakugou wasn’t looking at Kirishima, obviously still angry as he went back to staring at his phone instead of paying the redhead any mind.

“C’mon, man, I didn’t mean to! It wasn’t on purpose!” Kirishima practically pleaded next to him, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder which was immediately shrugged off rather aggressively. “Look, I’m sorry. Would it make you feel better if I helped you find a new wolf?”

“Are you kidding me?! I’m not playing this shitty game with you anymore, you fucking suck at it!” Bakugou had a scowl on his face that looked like what he was saying was the single most obvious thing in the whole world. Kirishima just sighed, closing up his water and throwing it down on the bed.

“I’d hate to make you, Bakugou, but you may just force my hand,” Kirishima shook his head slowly as if in disappointment, only making Bakugou’s brows cross in confusion.

“The fuck do you mean ‘make me,’ you idiot?! You can’t force me to do shit, and I’m not fucking playing this game with you,” Bakugou pushed, and to anyone else it definitely wouldn’t sounded like he meant it. But Kirishima knew Bakugou far, far too well. He could hear the competition in his voice, see the spark of want in his eyes that just said ‘please fight me on this.’ He wanted a challenge. Kirishima could see that. And boy was he gonna give it to him.

“Oh, but can’t I?” Kirishima’s voice sounded almost taunting, and once he saw that Bakugou was looking at him with competitiveness painted all over his face, he brought both of his hands up to wiggle fingers menacingly towards the boy.

Bakugou instantly knew what he meant. And if the fact he immediately closed his drink and sat it on his nightstand was no indication that he wanted this to continue, the way he backed up on his bed cautiously with wide eyes instead of immediately fighting Kirishima back most definitely was.

He was excited.

“Kirishima, don’t you fucking dare,” Bakugou pressed through a lie, his eyes never once looking away from those still wiggling fingers taunting him in the air, as if too embarrassed to look Kirishima in the eyes and completely give it away that he wanted this, he wanted the fight. He didn’t have to look for Kirishima to know, though. The redhead was still able to see Bakugou’s face even if Bakugou wouldn’t look at him, and he could see the giddiness behind his wall of caution, which only pushed him to continue.

“Then let’s play the game, Bakugou,” Kirishima grinned as Bakugou gave him no response, only backing further away until finally Kirishima pounced, tackling and fighting Bakugou to the bed. This was the least Bakugou had ever put up a fight with him. Kirishima knew how Bakugou fought, he knew just how skilled and precise his moves always were, and he was giving Kirishima practically none of that. Though he did technically fight his way down, he was still inevitably completely tackled and pinned by the redhead, which almost never happened in their regular spars and play fights.

Kirishima forced Bakugou’s arms up above his head, the hardening hero-in-training using his quirk to keep the boy’s hands pinned there for good. His body hovered over Bakugou’s, a rather compromising position if they were to be walked into, but neither boy cared about that in the moment. They were too focused on the excitement and unadulterated giddiness bubbling in the pit of their bellies, and as Kirishima gazed down at Bakugou with a look of mischief in his eyes, Bakugou knew he knew. Kirishima knew Bakugou wanted this, and now the blonde was aware of that. Bakugou couldn’t quite tell if that made this better or worse.

“Fine then. We can play a different game. How about…” Kirishima paused, mocking as if in hard thought as Bakugou’s lips twitched, his eyes wide in a skittish anticipation. Kirishima finally let out a small pretend gasp, looking down at Bakugou before raising up his free hand in a claw shape. “...Claw.”

Bakugou’s eyes could not have been any wider. His cheeks were stained pink, and he squirmed under Kirishima’s pin, “No, nonono don’t you dare fucking touch me you red piece of shit, I swear to god I’ll fucking-HNG!” Bakugou choked on his words, eyes slamming shut as he felt five meticulous fingers skittered over his now bare tummy, as Kirishima must have pushed up his shirt while Bakugou was too busy threatening. Those nails were fucking torturous against his skin, his nerves lighting up and sparking with a specific feeling he hadn’t felt in what had to be years now. It was so bad, so so bad, but...god, he didn’t realize just how much he had missed this feeling until now.

“Uh oh,” Kirishima’s voice held a teasing tone that made Bakugou shake his head, still trying desperately to hold back any and all giggles that threatened to crawl from his gut. Kirishima chuckled darkly. “Looks like someone’s a little ticklish, huh?”

Bakugou only continued to shake his head from side to side, tugging at his pinned arms with no real fervor behind it. Kirishima couldn’t help the smile on his face seeing the boy like this, so flustered and obviously having a good time at something so cute. He could tell Bakugou was desperately trying to contain his giggles, which was definitely his average pride slipping through, but there was no way Kirishima was just going to let that slide.

With a smirk evil enough to send shivers down the blonde’s spine, Kirishima finally dug in, vibrating all five of his fingers into the boy’s taut abdomen. Bakugou howled, arching his back and kicking wildly behind Kirishima as loud giggles and squeals escaped his ever-excited being.

“NAHAHAHA! KIRISHIMAHAHAHA!” Bakugou screamed, those fingers never relenting in their claw-shaped torment on his belly. “SHIHIHIT AHAHAHA!”

“Damn, Bakugou, you’re really ticklish,” Kirishima chuckled, massaging his fingers into the boy’s muscles, causing his to spasm like he’d been shocked, screaming and kicking and cursing all the while.

“FUHUHUCK YOHOHOU AHAHAHA!” Bakugou guffawed, twisting and turning his body every which way as if he was trying to escape the mirthful torment Kirishima was putting him through. Suddenly, all at once, the tickling stopped, and Bakugou let in a gasp of air he didn’t even realize he needed. He opened his eyes and glared at Kirishima hovering above him, the redhead daunting a sinister grin that made Bakugou’s tummy do summersaults.

“What did you just say to me?” Kirishima questioned menacingly, bringing his free hand up to now hold Bakugou’s wrists in both hands, quickly bringing them both down under his knees with no fight from the blonde, who seemed to be frozen in...fear? Excitement? Either way, his eyes were blown wide, his chest heaving slightly from the attack and small titters still threatening to escape. But Bakugou was never one to back away from a challenge, no matter his condition. He couldn’t help the small twitch at the corners of his lips as he looked up to Kirishima in competition.

“I said: Fuck. You,” Bakugou spat out, and Kirishima could feel his body tense under him after he spoke the fierce words, almost like he was bracing himself for the inevitable. Kirishima shook his head with a grin, raising both his hands up in the air to once again wiggle tauntingly towards his victim.

“Oh, you are so gonna regret that,” Kirishima chuckled, lowering his hands down slowly towards the boy’s quivering belly. His stomach sucked in as if trying to evade the wiggly fingers, Bakugou’s eyes large and never looking away from those claws hovering over his sensitive torso.

Finally, his fingers touched down, skittering over the boy’s lower tummy and making his breath hitch, pursing his lips tightly and slamming his eyes shut at the teasing sensations. Kirishima’s fingers wandered and scribbled all over the boy’s torso, and for a few seconds Bakugou was able to keep his reactions at bay. That is, until Kirishima skittered on a spot right at the base of Bakugou’s ribs, causing the boy to jolt with a small yelp. Kirishima couldn’t contain his chuckle at the reaction.

“Ohoho, there it is,” Kirishima drawled, pinching at the spot that made Bakugou squirm. Bakugou growled, almost like he was trying to keep any cute little giggles to himself, but those incessant pinches just wouldn’t let up, and in seconds time he was a giggling mess under Kirishima’s touch.

“Nohoho! Fuhuhuck shihihit!- AHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHA!” Bakugou practically screamed when he felt Kirishima vibrate his index and middle finger into that spot at his lower ribs right where it meets his back. He arched his spine up, kicking fruitlessly behind Kirishima’s body and cackling like a child all the while. “YOHOHOU BAHAHASTARD! YOHOHOU FUHUHUCKING SHIHIHIT!”

“Well that’s really no way to talk to your best friend, now is it?” Kirishima tsked, clawing at Bakugou’s ribs and eliciting more screeches and cackles from the sensitive teen. “You’re so much more ticklish than I thought you’d be, I am loving this.”

“STAHAHAP SAHAHAYING THAHAHAT!” Bakugou shook his head back and forth, clenching his fists hard under Kirishima’s knees as if trying to keep himself from exploding the both of them both to ashes.

“What? That you’re ticklish?” Kirishima tilted his head with a smirk, pinching up and down the boy’s ribs rapidly, making his laughs soar up in pitch. “Cause, I mean, you are. You’re like, super duper ticklish! But it’s fine cause it’s totally cute,” Kirishima said the last bit without really meaning to, blushing slightly at his blunt statement, but deciding against ending the ticklish torment over it.

“NAHAHAHA! I’M NOHOHOT CUHUHUTE!” Bakugou denied through his cackles, continuing to shake his head in playful anguish. “FUHUHUCK OHOHOHFF!”

“Hmm...I don’t think I will. In fact, there’s a few more tickle spots I wanna try out, so you’re just gonna have to keep a-giggling for me, Bakubro,” Kirishima chuckled, taking his hands off the boy for a moment to give him a breather. Small breathy giggles and titters continued to spill from Bakugou’s lips during his rest, his head leaning back against the pillow in almost exhaustion. Kirishima leaned forward, placing both of his hands beside the boy’s head, leaving his face to hover over the boy’s own blushed one. Bakugou’s eyes widened a bit at the invasion of personal space, but never made an effort to push him off. Kirishima tilted his head like a curious puppy, “You’re okay, right? You don’t like, totally hate this? Cause I can stop if you really want me to.”

Bakugou’s cheeks were splattered pink, his eyes averting their gaze from the boy on top of him. He squirmed a tad under Kirishima’s straddle, shoulders hunching up slightly in embarrassment. “I mean...it’s not...the worst thing in the world…” Bakugou grumbled into his shoulder, eyes still refusing to meet the red-head’s own.

Kirishima grinned down at Bakugou, using one hand to gently cup Bakugou’s chin and turn his head to face his own. “I knew you didn’t hate it. I just wanted you to say it out loud,” he giggled at the blonde’s flustered and shocked expression, before quickly shooting his hands down to squeeze at Bakugou’s ribs with extreme ticklish precision. Bakugou shouted a cackle at the sudden change, his head shaking from side to side and eyes scrunching closed once more.

“OHOHO YOHOHU MOTHERFUHUHUCKER!” Bakugou guffawed, clawing at the sheets under Kirishima’s knees. Kirishima just giggled, working both of his middle fingers in between the tight spot where Bakugou’s arms were clamped against his ribs, digging into the spot just below his underarms that Masaru had told him about.

Bakugou shrieked, kicking harder than before as wave after wave of loud, unfiltered squeals and cackles left his chest.

“SHIHIHIHIT! FUHUHUCK OH MY GAHAHAD! NAHAHAT THEHEHERE! NAHAHAT THAHAHAT SPOHOHOT YOU FUHUHUCK!” He screamed through his laughter, opening an eye to glare at Kirishima through his mirthful tears. Kirishima sported the biggest, shark-toothed grin he could probably muster, and it sent fluttering butterflies throughout the inside of Bakugou’s entire torso.

“Aww, is this spot bad, buddy? This spot tickle?~” Kirishima cooed, his fingers never relenting as they wiggled and dug into that one torutrous little spot that had Bakugou howling.

“FUHUHUCK YOHOHU! YEHEHES! IT T-AHAHA! IT FUHUHUCKING TI-HEHEHE!” Bakugou couldn’t even get the flustering word out through all of his cackles and squeals, which amused Kirishima to no end.

“God how are you so adorable like this,” Kirishima sighed, finally bringing his fingers back down to teasingly scribble and wiggle all over Bakugou’s bare tummy. Bakugou dissolved into a puddle of high-pitched, breathy giggles, that had Kirishima fawning over him in seconds. “You’re so giggly, and I didn’t even know you could giggle before this!”

“Shuhuhut uhuhup!” Bakugou practically whined through his giggles, his cheeks so pink and warm Kirishima could just melt in the cuteness of his flustered face.

“Oooh, I wonder if your belly button is ticklish too,” Kirishima eyed the little navel that bounced through Bakugou’s laughter, one of his fingers travelling over to circle around the button teasingly.

“NO! Nohoho, dohohon’t! Plehehease!” Bakugou pleaded, though Kirishima knew it was all just a front.

“Wow, I’ve got THE Katsuki Bakugou begging right now? Who knew I’d ever see the day!” Kirishima chuckled, worming a teasing nail into the navel and causing Bakugou to shriek and jerk underneath him. “Aww, it’s like a little giggle button!”

“Dohohon’t sahahay that stuhupid shihit!” Bakugou tittered, goosebumps forming all over his tummy from the feather-light way Kirishima scribbled over the skin.

“Alright, oneeee more place I wanna try, then we get back to Minecraft. Deal?” Kirishima moved his fingers to scribble slowly up and down the boy’s sides to let him respond, delighted at the way the movement made him squirm.

“Fihihine, whatehehever,” Bakugou braced himself for the final attack, gasping when he felt Kirishima’s hands leave his sides and rest on the top of his thighs. “Shit, shihit, shit, wahahait-!”

“Oh, this is a good spot, isn’t it?~” Kirishima teased, squeezing the muscle once to see Bakugou jerk and shriek under him. “Yup. Looks like a good one to me.”

“Ohoho plehehease, I cahahan’t, it’s so bahahad-” Bakugou whined, squirming and giggling despite Kirishima’s tickling on his thighs to even start yet.

“You’re a super ticklish guy, Bakugou, but you’re also super tough and manly. I know you can take it!” Kirishima hyped him up with a smile, just making Bakugou groan and roll his eyes with a snicker. “C’mon! Tell me you can take it!”

Bakugou huffed, gazing over at Kirishima’s face that plastered that stupid goofy grin of his. God why does he have to be so cute, Bakugou thought as he sighed with another eye roll.

“Fine, whatever, I can take it, just...fuckin get it over with already, you’re killing me heRE-HRGN! FFFAHAHAHAHA OH SHIHIHIT!” Bakugou keened, cackling and thrashing himself from side to side as both of Kirishima’s hands massaged into his upper thighs. The sensation was torturous, beyond torturous, his nerves were on fire and his muscles were pulsing under those terrible wiggling fingers, but if he could choose it, he’d feel like this forever if it were by the hands of that stupid fucking redhead.

“Damn, this must tickle bad , huh? You’re losing your mind!” Kirishima giggled, squeezing at those sensitive muscles like his life depended on it.

“FUHUHUCK! YEHEHES IT’S SO BAHAHAD! KIRIHIMAHAHAHA! PLEHEHEASE!” Bakugou pleaded and begged, tiny droplets of mirth finally pooling at the corners of his eyes despite his best wishes. Kirishima could tell the blonde was finally reaching his limits, and slowed his fingers down until he was just resting his hands on top of the boy’s thighs comfortingly, rubbing up and down the sides to soothe the still giggling boy.

Kirishima smiled down at Bakugou who was still coming down from his giggle high, titters that could light up a whole room spilling from his lips and making Kirishima’s heart swell. “You alive, man?”

Bakugou coughed out his last giggle, still breathing heavy before giving Kirishima a lazy nod. Kirishima giggled, gently climbing off the boy and laying down beside him on the bed. Bakugou brought his hands up to rub at his still flushed face, and Kirishima couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. The red-head was grinning ear-to-ear, and he could tell that under the palms of those calloused hands covering Bakugou’s face, the blonde was too.

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, Bakugou brought his hands down, turning his head to face Kirishima with a small smile still visible, only on the corners of his lips. “You almost killed me, you bastard.”

“Sorry, you were...you were just really cute like that. I’ve never seen you giggle before,” Kirishima chuckled sheepishly, eyeing Bakugou’s nearly forgotten drink still sitting on the nightstand. He pointed over to it, Bakugou’s following the direction of his finger. “You should probably get a drink, you were laughing pretty hard there.”

Bakugou huffed, his cheeks flushing only slightly at the comment, but he still rolled over to grab the drink and turn back around to face the redhead. “Shut up, I can’t help it.”

“Yeah, I know...too ticklish for your own good, huh?” Kirishima snickered, Bakugou punching his shoulder playfully while taking a sip of his milk. Kirishima rubbed the spot Bakugou punched with a grin. “I’m being serious, though. You really did look cute like that.”

Bakugou’s eyes refused to meet Kirishima’s. His hands cupped tightly around the bottle in his lap, thumbs fiddling with the plastic wrapper encasing it. Kirishima could see how flustered he looked despite their eyes not meeting and he almost felt a little guilty. But Bakugou finally glanced up towards Kirishima, and for the first time ever, the blonde looked...shy. “Do you really think that or are you trying to fuck with me right now? Cause it’s not very nice to fucking flirt with someone if you don’t mean it.”

Kirishima’s eyes widened a little at his bluntness to call it what it was; flirting. “Well, y-yeah. Yeah I meant it. For real,” Kirishima said, but he could tell Bakugou wasn’t sure if he meant it. Kirishima furrowed his brows, cupping Bakugou’s chin gently like he had while attacking the boy just minutes ago, turning his head so their eyes would meet. He stared intently at him, making sure his expression was as genuine as a person could be. “I’m serious, Bakugou. I...I think you’re really attractive,” Kirishima saw how Bakugou’s eyes moved, how he felt frozen under his touch but still somehow looked like he wanted to squirm. “You’re cute and super manly, which I didn’t even know could be a real combination until I met you. You’re...you’re my favorite person, Bakugou.”

They sat like that for a moment. Kirishima brought his hand back down to rest in his own lap, but their eyes never left each other. That was, until, Bakugou’s eyes drifted downward towards Kirishima’s lips. Kirishima’s heart faltered for a minute at the gaze, feeling hair standing up at the back of his neck. Bakugou’s eyes darted back up to Kirishima, a tilt forward in his head that asked Kirishima ‘is this okay?’ Kirishima just nodded with half-lidded eyes, before Bakugou slowly leaned forward, his own eyes closing as their faces finally met in the middle when Kirishima pushed his own head forward.

Their lips brushed shyly against one another, as if cautious and unsure if this was an okay thing to do, before Kirishima pushed into it, forcing their lips together. Bakugou brought a hand up to cup at Kirishima’s cheek, Kirishima doing the same to Bakugou. Bakugou felt like he was going to melt, or explode, or disintegrate or...or just keep kissing Kirishima until he couldn’t breathe.

After what felt like an eternity, they pulled apart, breathless and hazy. Kirishima opened his eyes first, and when Bakugou opened his and looked at Kirishima with those shy little eyes he didn’t have before, Kirishima couldn’t help but dissolve into a fit of giggles. His laugh was always too contagious, damnit, and before he knew it Bakugou was giggling along with him and he didn’t even know why.

When he finally caught his breath, Kirishima slumped back against the pillows of Bakugou’s bed, Bakugou following him to lay there and stare questioningly. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just...you tasted like strawberry milk.”

Bakugou paused for a moment, before chuckling, shoving at Kirishima playfully as they both snickered. “You’re a fucking dork.”

“Hm, maybe,” Kirishima giggled as he brought his face back closer towards Bakugou’s, meeting their lips once again in a soft kiss that lasted forever.

Kirishima would definitely have to thank Mr. Bakugou later for that helpful information about his son, because now their night tasted like strawberry milk and giggles, and Kirishima didn’t want anything else in the entire world than just that.

. . .

A/N : hope you guys enjoyed that, sorry its so fucking long LMAOO i got very carried away. it took me a while to write and ive got a fucking headache so imma go lay down now, MUCH LOVE!! <33

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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 26, part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Content note: This episode has a lot of lightning, but this post does not have lightning flashes--I’m using mostly stills for those parts, or I’ve snipped out the unfriendly frames before giffing.

Qing-Jie

Having successfully ruined Jin Guangshan’s party plan to get the Yin Tiger seal, Wei Wuxian dashes off to tell Wen Qing where her brother is. She hops up to hit the road with him, but then sorta-faints because she’s starving. In a rare moment of tenderness between these two, he catches her and gently sits her down again.

Normally they’re busy out-toughing each other, both before and after this moment, but right now Wen Qing is openly vulnerable. Wei Wuxian responds to that, predictably, with all of his kindness and with his usual slew of unwise, impossible-to-keep promises.

As she eats the bread he’s brought her--a parallel to an important piece of bread in his early life--he says they have to believe in Wen Ning’s survival. Cut to: Wen Ning, not surviving.

I mean, yes, yes, he’s only mostly dead, but he’s never going to be fully alive again, so.

24 Hour Party People

Back at the party, Jin Guangyao, deliberately, I think, goes to offer his pops a drink while his pops is still super furious and looking for someone to take it out on. The servant lady is like, better you than me, pal, and helps JGY get his drink ready. Pops, predictably, knocks the drink onto Jin Guangyao.

(more behind the cut)

Lan Xichen is standing by with a hanky and a face full of worry. Lan Xichen is so Lanny that he thinks JGY needs to go change clothes after getting clear alcohol spilled on him, rather than just letting it evaporate and smelling pleasantly of booze for the rest of the evening like a normal party guest.

JGY launches into a criticism of Wei Wuxian, which Lan Wangji listens to very carefully, frowning. Lan Xichen, Nie Huasang and Jiang Cheng listen as well, and don’t speak up.

A Clear Conscience

Then Lan Wangji *literally* steps out of his brother’s shadow, and speaks in defense of Wei Wuxian. This right here is Lan Wangji’s turning point, as far as I’m concerned. Xichen is gazing at JGY, totally on board with JGY’s spin of the situation, and his shadow falls away from Lan Wangji’s face as LWJ steps forward.

Lan Wangji says, isn’t what WWX said true? JGY puts on his customer service smile and says that the truth isn’t something you’re supposed to go around saying out loud.

I’d like to say this is what’s wrong with cultivator society but this is really a universal human thing; every society has rules about upsetting the social order, and they are very frequently at odds with basic compassion and morality.

Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng stay silent but Lan Xichen goes and throws Wei Wuxian under the bus carriage, saying his character has changed.

Lan Wangji nods decisively at this, and bows to Lan Xichen, silently asking permission to follow Wei Wuxian. Lan Xichen grants permission, telling Lan Wangji to do his best. Lan Xichen probably thinks he and Lan Wangji are in agreement, in this moment, but that nod of Lan Wangji’s was nothing of the kind.

That nod was Lan Wangji agreeing with himself; he is going to try to bring Wei Wuxian back but he is also going to listen to him. Meanwhile Lan Xichen is tying himself in knots to appease Jin Guangyao. The divergence between the brothers will just grow, from this point onwards.

Lan Wangji leaves to go follow his boyfriend conscience, while Jiang Cheng continues to silently listen to the commentary of others, and gets so mad he crushes a wine cup.

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night.

Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian arrive at the prison camp, and the first person they encounter is Granny, with a defaced Wen Banner in her hand and Wen Yuan on her back.

Whenever I read a meta or a fic that talks about how the juniors are so sweet partly because they are “untouched by the war” I want to point to this moment. A-Yuan endures an absolute truckload of war trauma by the time he’s four years old, and while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji both deserve a lot of credit for saving him at great risk to themselves, Granny and Uncle Four are the first heroes of A-Yuan’s story. His kind, mellow personality has a lot in common with theirs.

This is followed by an eternity of Wen Qing running around asking if anyone’s seen her brother. Eventually Wei Wuxian gets tired of this and gathers the guards together, threatening them with Chenqing.

He doesn’t need to play it; just holding it up has every Jin dude instantly kneeling and scared.

The guards send him and Wen Qing go to a giant field of corpses, where Wen Qing runs around checking to see if any of them is her brother. Wei Wuxian starts off kind of detached and angry, but eventually snaps out of it, tucks away his flute and starts helping her to search.

Wen Qing finds Wen Ning, mostly-dead with a lure flag speared into his belly. Wei Wuxian grimly takes in the situation from across the field of corpses.

When he arrives at Wen Qing’s side he sees this talisman in Wen Ning’s hand.

This is the talisman that Wei Wuxian made for Wen Ning back in Gusu summer school, before the war. It’s the one that Wen Ning was wearing at his waist when they met up after the massacre of Lotus Pier. It’s supposed to literally protect Wen Ning from having his spiritual consciousness snatched, as well as being a symbol of Wei Wuxian’s sense of responsibility for, and affection for, Wen Ning.

Wei Wuxian, understandably, loses his shit at this point. Less understandably, he is about to decide that the best way to express his sorrow and rage is to re-animate the corpse of his friend, right in front of the corpse’s sister. Like, seriously, dude. Dude.

Ghost General

This super-questionable decision leads to one of the most badass sequences in the show, which is unfortunately chock full of lightning flashes, so not everyone can watch it. Wei Wuxian and his flute and swirls of resentful energy come marching out of the darkness of the corpse field, back to the guards.

The guards have decided to slaughter all of the prisoners and then run away, which would be a good plan except they should really have skipped right to the running away part of things. When Wei Wuxian accuses them of killing the prisoner in the corpse field, they claim that the Wens have a habit of falling off of a hill and dying. Wei Wuxian can relate.

At this point Wei Wuxian summons up Wen Ning 2.0, ultra badass edition, who comes flying through the air with his odd, straight-armed fighting stance and cool solid-black eyes and rock-and-roll hair.

Soundtrack: *Four Sticks*

Wen Ning proceeds to whale on the guards and scare the shit out of his relatives.

Then Wen Qing shows up and begs Wei Wuxian to stop. She explains that Wen Ning is only mostly dead. Like, if he was fully dead would she be okay with this?

Wei Wuxian tries to reel Wen Ning in and realizes that he is not actually in control of Wen Ning. Ok, see, right from the first day of Wen Ning 2.0, WWX is aware that his control is iffy. Why does he think he’s going to be able to control him later?

Anyway, this is where we learn Wen Ning’s grown-up name is Wen Qionglin. Wei Wuxian yells this name, and Wen Ning looks up like a cat hearing the “food noise,” and then proceeds to get control of himself.

This is such a nice symbolic moment, that will be replayed later in the temple, when Wen Ning saves Jin Ling from Baxia.

Wen Ning has a remote-code-execution OS vulnerability throughout the story; his soul is at risk of being stolen, and he is magically controlled by Wei Wuxian, Xue Yang, Su She, and Baxia. Meanwhile Wen Qing, Wei Wuxian, and random kids on the street mostly treat him as a child, despite his clear adult capabilities. Wen Ning’s journey in The Untamed is at least partly about asserting his full adulthood, and his ability to overcome magical control is directly connected to that journey.

After getting Wen Ning to chill, Wei Wuxian calls the floating resentful energy back into his own body, which looks about as comfortable as swallowing a burp.

On the plus side, apparently resentful energy keeps your hair dry even when it’s raining.

Wei Wuxian should take a page from the guards’ book and slaughter all the Jin witnesses to this situation, but he decides to be the better person and let them live. They go running off down the road, where they encounter Lan Wangji and give him the 411, saying that Wei Wuxian resurrected dead people.

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian collects Wen Qing--half-fainted, again, in an echo of the start of their journey--and collects the Dafan Mountain Wen group, who are hiding, wisely. When they see Wen Ning, Uncle Four and some others start to freak out, but Wei Wuxian tells them that fierce corpses are cool, and they all grab horses and mount up.

Where Are You Going?

Lan Wangji is waiting for them, nonconfrontationally indulging in some visual poetry while he waits.

In a show where every prop is exquisitely, carefully designed to enhance our understanding character, his Gusu-toned umbrella reveals surprising red and yellow threads woven in, right above his eye line as he looks at Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian speaks first, saying “you came to stop me?” Lan Wangji doesn’t answer, but asks him where he’s going. Then Lan Wangji warns him that he’s about to abandon orthodoxy forever, if he follows through.

Wei Wuxian challenges this idea of orthodoxy, asking if Lan Wangji remembers the promise they made together, back in Gusu. It’s worth noting that they both appear to think of it as a co-promise, even though Lan Wangji didn’t speak aloud at the time.

The conversation will continue in the next episode, because what’s better than a rainy romantic cliffhanger?

Soundtrack: Four Sticks by Led Zeppelin

#the untamed #the untamed gifs #wangxian #wen ning #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #episode 26

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