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#for now i think we'll just try to learn
oracularpig · 10 months
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even though we sort of know what we have to do in order to develop our spirituality and beliefs we know it's going to be a tough journey... we just have to start
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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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hua-fei-hua · 11 months
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at church reading the hymn lyrics like "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and "hey i learned that word from translating song lyrics so that i could write genshin fic!" and "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and finally "omg i learned that word from the king's avatar"
#花話#it's funny bc i Objectively know more cn than the last time i was here seven years ago which is great#bc the last time i learned any cn in a classroom was seven years ago lol#and i think that's probably a combination of Very Much Not Wanting To Lose What Skills I Have +gnshn n similar giving me occasional practice#but yeah of the words i Remember where i learned them it's like 85% gnshn 14% lyric translation n 1% king's avatar lmao#been trying to connect my laptop to the mobile hotspot i have here and Suffering(tm)... pain and agonie#i mentioned this on main but apparently i just Cannot have a line acct for w/e reason#(i suspect it's bc i made an acct in america on my phone number but temp sim card --> diff phone number here)#(and since i didn't expect this i didn't tie the acct to an email --> i am unable to have line)#however my mother and i have graduated past emails and are now just using regular texting to communicate it seems#ANYWAY i get to see the jade cabbage today. i hope. and other things i also hope!!#i was going somewhere w/the line thing OH it's bc on the way home from church my mom saw a sign that said 元氣 and was like 'genki desu!'#it is always kind of a surprise to hear my mom speak jp bc it sounds simultaneously clumsy and full of confidence#she has friends in japan (college roommate + old pen pal + i have no idea she's lived Quite a life i feel) n i once found her old letters#and was kind of surprised bc they were like entirely in jp so obviously she could read n understand a lot#but anyway my mom went on to talk abt how taiwan continues to have significant japanese influence to this day n i was like yes... weebs c':#it's also interesting bc we'll go sightseeing n she'll be like “ye that's from american/jp occupation times but they gave back the land'#'so now it's xyz' n i'll be like. almost 'tails.jpg A Colonialism.'
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keeps-ache · 1 year
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i'm sitting here thinking 'oh i should draw something' while forgetting that i am actually in the middle of drawing a something. the wonders of the human braaain
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astranauticus · 1 year
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a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy
translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner
Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)
I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me
the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence
specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong
'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all
'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore
How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)
(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)
definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time
"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works
'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring
specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath
'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH
the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')
fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.
Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)
finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually
the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this
'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay
'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back
'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general
'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...
#rolling with difficulty#rwd starship#rwd professionals#my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j#im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers#ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes#bmadd11 my beloathed#/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so#its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon#i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020#genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years#grammar is just weird sometimes#i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it#spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted#but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely#also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen#bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen#but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line#'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!”#post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all????#did this instead of my programming homework :|
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kellystar321 · 2 years
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#periodical life updates#HUH. OKAY. MANY THINGS OF NOTE. things im not excited for first!!#im going to go into coding now because my parents want me to so whatever i guess!! i think coding is cool anyway and im willing to learn#its such a vague job. my sister recommends front end web development. i still dont know. i guess i'll look into it. gwuah.#registered for classes and now im just waiting for them to start. i dont know if i can do four classes. ive tried and failed before.#but im grown now. classes should be simple. i should be fine. i have to finish this soon.#im going to the dentists soon and as much as i hate toothaches i HATE THE DENTISTS i hate them im so scared of them u-u <33#i probably need a lot of fillings and sht and im not hype about it. i hate the dentists but i know my teeth will hurt bad so i will go ughh#im tired and i need to cook spaghetti soon and life is currently so up in the air right now. i have things i want to queue but everytime i#go look at my drafts i just close the tab again guhhh. okay lets talk about other things now.#changed my profile pic!! its so cute i love my orange pattern shirt <3 daily eca is posted and that ones cute too <3#im excited for the pjsk pop in my heart event; ive been waiting for a four star emu for so long and nicori smile survey is a fun song <3#the valentines day one has such a cute emu too and the white day event has a knight tsukasa which i ADORE <3 knights are so my aesthetic#got to say good morning to darling and eros today <33 might make an oc for a friend on twitter's oc storyline which is fun <3#finished some things up yesterday that i dont have to deal with anymore.#im trying. im trying really hard. we'll get there eventually. *sighs*#napping now maybe. i love you <3
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eachuisge-cc · 2 years
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what if I just committed to the bit and started calling them Catsims. that seems easier than inconsistently referring to them as khajiit, cathar, feline sims, and cat people at different times.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#lmao nothing makes me feel more dyslexia than doing field work#i cannot do math in my head#i cannot process instruction. i cannot communicate literally anything. my communication skills r held together with string lol#my language skills lol. im constantly stumbling over words and forgetting words i need#whats the word...? how do u say it...? must be some of my most used phrases. my brain just works on a delay lol#me trying to learn german: well i can vaguely remember the shape of this word but not the actual spelling and also i cant remember how to#pronounce it. its so funny. my brain cannot read sounds into existence. i read aloud in English like an elementary schooler#also if u say the word out loud to me i will instantly forget it. lmao the effort it takes to get info into my brain#i sent off my personal statement for edits btw. which is terrifying bc its like my heart is bleeding thru my ribs and i pressed a page to#my chest. that is my personal statement. overindulgent and rambling. so the cuts will probably be brutal but thats fine#im not so sensitive abt the editing so much as im sensitive abt how i structured it. like did i do it wrong? should it have been clinical?#that seems so boring to me. idk we'll see what he thinks. i still think theres no way i get the scholarship but whatever. he's putting the#effort into working with me so i must show some potential. but also i cant find anything on how to format the statment from the department#and im annoyed at the uk grading system bc technically i have a 2:1 in my undergrad but literally if i round up by 0.01 on the us system id#have a 1st. and like not to diss the uk uni system but the way they grade is bullshit and also the us system is like brutal so i feel like#my grade should count for more lmao. im just bitter and worried i wont get in. bc the project would b so so so perfect#ugh. whatever. one step at a time. now onto the next thing. do i write or draw...?#unrelated
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delicatetaysversion · 3 months
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sometimes i miss talking to that one person who didn't NEVER turned it into a competition about who has it worse and never told me well atleast you have [x]
#weirdly i think she was the only one#my irl bestie called and was ranting about her miserable life and#it's the exact same thing ive been going through for years her parents won't let her move to another city#she can't make friends here she hates it here her parents are being overbearing and don't understand the importance of socialising#with people her age and they tell her to just hang out with her family all day and don't give her privact#like. okay. i love her ive been listening to her complain about how her mom comes into her room sometimes. and just#i was okay listening to it okay im no judge for how someone's feeling and my bad might be their worst#but then she goes like well atleast you'll know you'll get to move out after you finish your degree for a job#like. wow okay. atleast you got to enjoy 3 years of college at the coolest city in india atleast you got to have vibrant life experiences#and learned so much about the world made tons of friends visited a hundred places had a boyfriend#went to clubs increased your netword learned how to be street smart and talk well#i hate to be resentful ofcoursr im happy for her and ofc i understand this is a hard time#but like god seriously. she'll never know what it feels like think you'll live your life as you pass 12th because they let your elder siste#go to college and she had the best times and then suddenly you're 17 and they twll you well actually we made a mistake and we won't repeat#it ever so you're just gonna stay home where we watch you 24/7 and ww won't even let you go to classes that have somewhat okayish people#because you can't have friends because they'll distract you from your studies#and she'll never know what it's like working towards a dream everyday that seems so fucking faw away and unreachable#when you're not even good at studying and especially focusing because yeah parents fucked you up majorly!!#like im sorry but try being completely hopeless and alone and isolated losing your friends one by one watching everyone#grow and find themselves as you rot in your room try to do better try to find happiness but it's impossible it's never enough#and try to study for a really fucking hard course in the middle of all that#and then tell me that atleast ill get to go out after i finish#like seriously try fucking living my life for one day and then talk#god i know ive become resentful and bitter because of a thing in my childhood but i don't know how to stop#ugh i never should've picked up the phone i was studying so well before that#anyway. i miss talking to that one person who was sensitive and sweet and encouraging always yk#i miss hearing i completely understand you because im going through the same things (def worse imo) and we'll get through this together#man.#chappell roan was so right actually i hate that i let this go on for so long now i hate myself
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caramelmochacrow · 3 months
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i got scared. im gonna..... im gonna need to learn a little bit more before i touch that. (css looks like a fucking nightmare not knowing shit the fuck--)
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thethingything · 4 months
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our brain's apparently decided it's time to have a lot of emotions about long distance friendships and people we don't hear from anymore and not being able to meet up with people to hang out and not actually being able to spend time with people the way we want to
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#after we quit college we just kind of gradually lost touch with all the friends we knew in person#because when you can't really go out much and meet up with people regularly you start getting left behind#and we were in an abusive relationship but also dealing with mental illness stuff that caused us to isolate ourselves more and more#to the point where we had no support network whatsoever and have spent the last 3 years trying to both make new friends#and learn to actually have healthy friendships and recognise red flags and stuff like that#so by the time we started making friends again we were in a position where we couldn't go outside regularly to make local friends#which means now all our friends are online and far away and even if we do have days where we can go out nobody's close enough to meet up#it gets really lonely even when we do talk to people regularly#because we can't hang out the way you would if you could see them in person#but it also comes with the fear of having people just disappear and never being able to contact them or know what happened to them#because we've had that happen and we have no idea if we'll ever hear from them again#I kind of noticed I was having some emotions about this stuff yesterday as well#and some of it keeps occasionally coming up briefly but in a way where I can tell I'm kind of dissociated from it#and I think it's probably another thing that's getting to us a lot in the background
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duskerot · 7 months
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just sprayed all my parts with sealant so ill be able to start painting tomorrow !!! never done it before so im hoping it works alright 😵‍💫
#txt#nendo.txt#had to get all geared up . respiration mask gloves goggles etc#had to do it today cuz snows coming in starting tomorrow and i would hate to not be able to do anything for tbe next week#but its nervewracking cuz ive never done it before so i wont know if i did it ok until tomorrow#tried to follow all the tips ive seen but these are tiiny pieces so trying to avoid overlapping strokes is hard#and i also dropped a couple in the dirt and had to clean them off... ermmm .. well it was the only place i could spray#really hope it works ok#thankfully this is the basest layer and im fully painting over all of it#need the sealant for the paint to stick but if it doesnt look the best at least itll all be covered up#and i have some experience now for the next layers ill need to do#which again thankfully the smallest parts will only need initial and final sealant#because I'm just painting them and not using colored pencil#the face will need several layers though. possibly the hair too but i think i can put the pastel coloring right on the paint#we'll see!#really just hoping it worked okay its fine if its not perfect cuz its my first project#but i at least want it to work and not ahve ruined anything ;#ahah#mostly worried about the pieces i dropped and potentially missing a spot or over spraying parts#its a learning process#and its a clear sealant so i cant like directly see missed areas#and since they have to dry partially outside im worried about them getting debris on them even with precautions#but ig all that matters is that im trying it and that i kept myself safe from the toxins#update theyre inside now and everything looks fine?? they feel matte and a bit gritty which is what theyre supposed to feel like#they need the rest of the day to finish setting but hopefully good?#i keep going into my workspace to look at them like 👁👁 as if theyre gonna like. idk. blow up
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alchemiclee · 8 months
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I still want to talk about star rail amd no one has talked to me about it, so i'll just ramble to myself now.
I really like firefly 😭 she's one of those characters I have a soft spot for. the way i perceive her is she feels a bit lost, but also very trapped. she's like a caged bird longing to fly. a fish in a tiny bowl wishing to taste the ocean. she wants to be free from her shackles. she's also alone and doesn't seem to really have anyone. no one to help her. no one to rely on. no one to trust. it's kind of like stelle became her first real friend and she immediately attached to stelle and appreciated her kindness so much. she was hiding stuff yes, but we just met so that makes perfect sense.
maybe she's relatable in a sense, and that's why i like her. I want to protect her or help relieve her burden she's stuck with even a little. I feel like we did that for the short moment we were together. sometimes the saddest souls smile the prettiest, with just the smallest of kind gestures. those smiles are fleeting, but also very precious. she's that type of character i guess. I always end up liking these kind of characters 😅
#hsr#lee text#maybe she will be back next update. maybe she will reveal shes evil. who knows. but right now#i enjoy the cute little friendship bond we formed even if it was short and we still barely know her 😭#i guess as a person who has felt trapped and stuck my whole life i have a soft spot for characters that feel the same and want to be free#if they can touch even a bit of what freedom feels like.... idk where im going with this#but i liked her more than a love interest/romance trope like most people seem to see her as#to me shes the trapped bird trope and im the trapped bird trope irl lmao so of course i feel for her and wish we can free her!!!!!!#words are hard. not sure if im explaining what i mean lmao#another example of this type of trope is furina. she was stuck and trapped being the fake archon and so incredibly lonely and sad#for 500 years. shes one of my favorite genshin characters of all time. and shes finally free! im so happy for her 🥹#not all these trapped birds are freed though so you either sign up to see the bird fly or die trying 🙂#we'll see how the story goes from here and if we learn more about her. but these are my initial thoughts on her#i think the people who dont like her just dont feel her. they dont relate. it doesnt impact them#they just see the surface value and that value is worthless to them#but i feel her so that's why her story hit me pretty hard 😅#disclaimer: no hate to people that don't feel it. not every story will appeal to everyone and thats fine
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victorluvsalice · 10 months
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-->Before deciding she absolutely had to indulge her romantic side with Victor and went over to give him a massage by the cowshed. Fortunately, she'd licked herself clean before doing this; unfortunately, the timing meant that Victor ended up standing in the trash he'd just cleaned out of the cowshed while this happened. XD The things we do for romance... Alice then changed back to normal as Smiler -- fresh off harvesting all their plasma fruit and herbalism stuff out of the greenhouse -- joined them in the paddock to hang out. They ended up entertaining Shadow, who'd also followed everyone in there, while Alice chatted with Moory and gave her a good milking, and Victor sorted through the trash for upgrade parts before cleaning himself off with some Scruberoo. You know, just a typical day on the farm. :p
-->With most of the chores beyond completing the daily greenhouse harvest (which Victor got sent to do once he was clean) now done, and New Year’s Eve officially started as a holiday, it was time to turn my attention to holiday traditions – namely, resolutions! I started with Alice and checked what was available for her – completing an aspiration milestone, getting fit, losing weight, etc, etc. Doing an aspiration milestone sounded interesting, so I decided to check to see what milestones she might be close to completing. And just for fun, I started with the Fabulously Wealthy aspiration –
And immediately completed the entire aspiration, since she’d already fulfilled all the goals. XD She now has the "Shrewd” reward trait, which means that she now gets a payment of 5% of the household funds added to the total pot every week. I checked Mansion Baron after that, just to see if she’d completed that too – nope, but she’s ALMOST done with it. Just need to make sure the house is worth a bit more – and get a bunch of columns. XD That is more of an aspiration for me to complete, though (and I am actually planning on doing a playsession that revolves around remodeling the house a bit at some point), so I decided the aspiration milestone she was going to complete would be in Renaissance Sim instead – she just has to get two more skills up to level 8 and she’s golden!
So that settled her resolution – but what about Smiler and Victor? Well, I decided they could complete aspiration milestones too – Smiler is just one party away from completing another level of the Party Animal aspiration after all, and Victor three duels away from completing one in the Spellcraft & Sorcery aspiration! I also decided they could auto-complete Fabulously Wealthy as well, so now we have three Shrewd Sims living in the same household. I suspect the money is going to start piling up VERY RAPIDLY. XD
-->Okay, enough about resolutions – time to finish up things around the house! Smiler took on decorating duty as per usual, putting up some fun bunting and banners outside, while Alice gave Shadow a good brushing and played some laser pointer with Kelly. Shadow then went outside and whined at Victor that she wanted a walk, so once Victor had finished his harvest and officially made his resolution, he took her on a short stroll down to the riverside to do her business. Which for some reason ended with her getting spooked by something, lying down, and covering her eyes with her paw and Victor having to unleash her and scratch her special spot to make her happy again. *shrug* I guess she is a very nervous doggo... Smiler, meanwhile, spotted that Toothy needed a feed and gave the cowplant some meat and a bit of playtime to stop it chomping down on any passing Sims and making this the world's most awkward New Year's Eve. :p They then moved onto checking the latest SimsTube trends and answering comments on their videos, before being sent downstairs to fix MORE broken wind turbines in the wind farm. *heavy sigh* Seriously, it is SO RARE for all of them to be working... Alice, for her part, ended up double-checking the chicken coop, cleaning it out, and gathering the latest batch of eggs (four normal ones – I guess the one plus of having no rooster is having no hatchable eggs cluttering up the inventory), before going to clean out the spoiled food from the fridge. And Victor finally arrived home from his walk and took the opportunity to license out his song “Wonderland Smiles,” because sure, we need more money. Why not. XD
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nanaslutt · 3 months
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• I will always catch you •
ʚ synopsis: You and Nanami play a game of tag, if he wins he spanks you
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ʚ cont: fem reader, spanking, fingering, dirty talk, rough sex, unprotected sex, overstimulation
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You stood with your hands perched on the back of the couch, your eyes not once straying from where they were glued to Nanami's opposite the couch from you, the only thing that separated the two of you besides the coffee table that sat in front of the couch. "Ten second headstart." You said, already feeling your heart start to pick up at the promise of Nanami chasing you around. 
You knew logically no matter how much time you asked for, he would always catch you in the end, but that's what you wanted, not that you would tell him that—even if he already knew. Nanami nodded, removing his hands from his pockets confidently, his mouth barely quirking up in a smile at the corners, the skin beside his mouth dimpling with it. "You won't catch me this time." Lie. "We'll see." Was his only reply before he raised his hands and started ticking down his fingers, letting you know he had started the timer.
You ran around the couch, passing him where he stood on the other side as you ran for the kitchen across the room, using the large island in the middle of it to separate him from you. It was your best bet to escape him for as long as possible, wait him out here, bait him to stalk you around the island, and shoot up the stairs for his office which had the only locking door in the house save for the bathroom, but that was too close to the kitchen, you needed more time to get away. 
You watched, eyes bright and heart racing as his fingers hit 1, then he closed his hand tightly, letting you know you were out of time before he started walking toward you calmly. Your smile grew larger the closer he got, as did his, though he was far more cocky and confident than yours which was playful and full of adrenaline. "Aren't you going to run, sweetheart?" Nanami asked, cocking his head to the side as he made his way to the kitchen, standing across the island from you.
"I told you I learned some new tricks, you won't catch me this time." You said confidently, moving slowly toward the corner of the island, trying to bait Nanami into following you. And sure enough, he did. He didn't reply to you, just started walking towards the side in which you were closest to him, making you walk away from him, the two of you slowly circling the kitchen island as you made your way back to the opening of the living room.
You knew not to avert your eyes to his and give away your plans, if he caught you looking towards the direction you were going to run, he would catch you—no doubt about it. Nanami was taller and faster, his long legs eating up the space between you like nothing whenever you ran from him, so you had to be smart about this. "We'll see if your tricks are enough." Nanami finally voiced, stopping in his tracks diagonal to you, him standing where you just were in the kitchen, your positions now reversed. 
You smiled at him in response, showing your teeth before you turned abruptly and took off sprinting across the living room. Your heart raced in your chest, the sound echoing through your whole body and making that the only thing you were able to hear. You wanted to turn around so bad and see how close he was, but you knew you couldn't afford to do so. You let out a laugh as you reached the banister on the stairs, gripping it tightly as you pulled yourself forward, using that momentum to run up them as quickly as you could. 
You tried not to think about how Nanami often went up the steps two at a time, so if he was running he could probably manage three or more... shit. Your adrenaline was still pumping, making you more assured of yourself as you reached the top of the stairs, sure he wasn't right on your tail. His office was in your sight already as you pushed off the wall and sprinted toward the end of the hall. You were mentally praising Nanami for his constant pushing to leave all doors in the house open unless they were being occupied so the air could flow freely between them, making it so none of the rooms were stuffy—meaning the door was wide open and all you had to do was grab that door and slam it like your life depended on it. 
You could only feel your own steps as you raced down the hall, surprised that he hadn't reached the top of the stairs yet, but that meant you had one, you finally had one. You reached the office and grabbed the handle before spinning yourself around and momentarily disorienting yourself before you were snatched into a pair of strong arms and hoisted over a shoulder with a scream of surprise. You felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest and run away at the shock.
How had he got you so fast? You were sure he wasn't on your trail, but apparently, that had been wishful thinking. "Nanami!" You laughed, kicking your legs against him, trying to free yourself as he held you over his shoulder with an iron grip, his arm locked tightly around the back of your thighs so you couldn't wiggle out of his grasp. Your laugh was cut short when a harsh smack was left on your ass, the sting making you whip your hands back and cover yourself from him. 
Nanami swiftly kicked the door shut behind him and stalked over to his desk, wrenching your hands away from your ass easily in his grip. "This is my reward for catching you, hands down." He said calmly, the deep baritone of his voice making you shiver as he pulled you off his shoulder and spun you away from him, using his body to press you against the edge of his desk and pushing you down on it with his hand on the middle of your back.
You weren't able to resist his moves, the speed of his actions making your body more pliant than you would've liked. The papers on his desk crumpled under your chest as you tried to push yourself up so you could stand again, and maybe try to attempt to run away, though you never had been successful at that before. Kento grabbed your wrists with both his hands and locked them behind your back with strength only he could possess, freeing himself a hand as he kept you at his mercy, rubbing his free hand against the swell of your ass.
"The new trick you tried didn't work so well." Nanami cooed, stating the obvious and making your face feel hot as he rubbed your loss in your face. "Were you planning to lock yourself in my office?" He asked, sliding his hand up and down the side of your body, making your skin prickle under your shirt. "Yeah, I was close too." You said defiantly, trying to gain back even a little bit of your ego. You had been so sure of yourself and now look at the position you ended up in.
"Mmm," Nanami hummed, the deep sound of it in his throat making your legs part willingly for him as he pressed his knee against the inside of your thigh and made you spread them. "What were you planning to do once you were in here?" He asked, making you pause. You looked around his office, thinking on his words. I don't know, relish in your victory? Bait him through the door? Write taunting notes about how he's a loser and slide them under the door for him to read?
"What do you think would happen when you opened the door? You couldn't stay in here forever." He asked confidently. "I'd come out because I would have won." You said quickly, the answer obvious, "There is no time limit on the game." He said, his fingers pushing up the back of your shirt and sliding against the skin of your back, pushing the fabric against your arms that were locked behind your back. The gears in your head started turning as you considered his words. 
"What do you mean?" You asked, turning your head as far to the side as you could manage to look at him from under your lashes. "I will always catch you, you can't escape me." You opened your mouth to complain, to whine about how the game has been rigged from the start, how there was no way you could ever win, when a loud slap against your ass stopped your words from coming, a different sound escaping you. Your hands balled into fists as you wiggled back against him, trying to find relief against the sting that never came. 
"That's not fair." You pouted. Nanami huffed out a laugh before his large hand rubbed across your backside, his fingers finding the hem of your shorts before pulling them down to pool around your ankles. "No, it's not." He agreed, another harsh smack making contact with your skin, making you jump. Nanami's warm hand stayed against your flesh rubbingaway the pain as he pressed closer to you, his crotch pressed against your left thigh. "But you don't mind as much as you're trying to make me think you do." He said assuredly. 
You felt a tick of annoyance run through you before it was almost completely snuffed out by another slap of his hand, this one followed by two more in quick succession against your other cheek. "Why would you think that?" You sighed, trying not to pant through your words and give in to him as much as you wanted to. "This whole game has been rigged the whole time." You complained, your eyebrows shooting up when he pressed his knee against your clothed cunt, making you press try to press your legs together--an action that was stopped by his knee that was knocked into your own, keeping you spread. 
Nanami gripped your ass in his hand before leaning over you, massaging the fat of your backside as his weight crushed you, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. He rut his hips against your thigh, letting you know how much he was enjoying his win before he pressed a kiss right under your ear. You shut your eyes, a gasp falling from your lips as all complaints left your brain, the only thing you could think of being the weight and scent of him as he consumed you entirely. 
"You like it when I chase you, but you like it when I catch you even more." He whispered against your ear, his voice making you clench around nothing. "You're so cocky." You breathed, making him breathe out a laugh before he placed a kiss on your neck, the top of your spine, your shoulder blade. You held your breath when his hand that gripped your flesh slid between your legs, your body welcoming him as you spread your legs wider for him.
You couldn't stop the gasp that fell from between your lips when he pushed aside your panties like they were never there and rubbed his fingers through your wetness before dragging them across your clit. "And you're soaked, sweetheart," Nanami replied, showing you just how right he was about how much you loved being caught by him. But you didn't need him to tell you that, you already knew. 
Nanami leaned back from crushing you with his body at the same time he slid his fingers back down to your entrance and pushed two thick fingers inside you like it was nothing—and it might've well been, his fingers getting swallowed up by your wet cunt with ease. The groan that left your lips made his cock twitch in response, the feeling of his hard length against the back of your thigh driving you crazy. 
He released your arms from being caged behind your back, which you immediately used to grab the edge of the desk to steady yourself. Just when you were about to beg him for more, he slapped you again, harder this time, your ass stinging at the impact while your pussy tightened around his fingers like a vice. Nanami echoed your moan with a groan of his own as he began thrusting his fingers in and out of you, the wet squelching of your cunt echoing throughout his office.
"I can feel how much you like it." Nanami groaned, his voice deeper and more assertive with his arousal prominent. "Fuck," You whined, wiggling your hips back to meet his thrusts." Smack, another slap making you whine, a fuzziness starting to build in your mind as he fucked you harder on his fingers. "Tell me how much you like it, honey." Nanami moaned, though it sounded more like a beg as he rubbed his hips harder against your ass, trying to relieve himself on you. 
"Kento," You whined, thrusting your hips back against him harder. A clinking of a belt and a zipper following the sound told you Nanami was ridding himself of his own pants. Another slap against your sore ass was all the motivation you needed to answer him, nodding against the desk. "I love it Ken, I love it, it feels so good." You whined, your clit throbbing at the lack of attention as you wiggled back, hoping he would relieve you soon. 
You cried out when he pulled his fingers out of you abruptly, "Shhh, don't cry-" His words ended as he slammed himself inside you in one thrust, the stretch and slight burn of the sheer size of him making your eyes roll back in your head as he started up a brutal pace inside you, giving you little time to adjust before his hand dropped to your clit just as you wanted while his other massaged your soon to be bruised ass. 
Without his knee between yours anymore, you were able to squeeze your thighs together around his hand as your orgasm wracked through your body, making you scream as he pounded it out of you, his cock hitting just the right spot inside your soft walls and prolonging your high as his expert fingers matched pace with his thrusts on your clit. "K-kento-" You whined, one of your hands wrapping around his wrist that kept rubbing your oversensitized clit, the pleasure of it bordering on pain. 
"I know, I know, honey." Nanami cooed, his voice soft but his actions a stark contrast as he slapped your ass twice, once on each cheek, never once faltering his rough thrusts inside you, "You have to let go, sweetheart. Let go of my hand." He instructed, making you shake your head back and forth violently, only resulting in his fingers rubbing faster back and forth along your clit, it was almost too much.
"T-too much, Kento- f-fuck-" You cried, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you tried to lean forward to escape the pleasure, but he just followed you with his thrusts, knocking hard into your g-spot each time he slammed inside you. "No, it's not, Iknow what you can take." He replied dismissively, massaging your ass in a circle. The two of you had a safeword that had been long established and never used, and you weren't thinking about using it now, so maybe he was right, maybe he did know how much you could take.
You simply whined in response, feeling another orgasm quickly creeping over you, no escape from it in sight. "Let go of my hand, sweetheart, I won't ask again," Nanami said through a groan, his hand briefly coming up to cradle your cheek in a sweet gesture before he slid it back down your body and slapped the back of your thigh. The niceness of his words and the roughness of his actions made it hard to combine them into one person, you almost wanted to curse him out for sounding so unaffected but you knew he wasn't fairing much better than you.
The small sounds of him grunting and cursing under his breath told you exactly how he was doing. Kento's thrusts started losing their rhythm as he lost himself inside you. Begrudgingly, you let go of his hand, your own shaking as you placed it back on the edge of the dest, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were gripping it. "Good girl, I have you, I-I'll take care of you." The sound of Nanami's words getting choked off by a groan made your clit throb under his fingers. It was a fucking headrush knowing how much this man lost himself to you. 
"Please-" You begged, unsure of what you were asking for but knowing you weren't going to last much longer. "Let it out, I'm right behind you." Nanami nodded, leaning over your body and wrapping an arm under your stomach, pulling your back tightly to his chest as he humped his cock in and out of you, the stretch and loss of him with each thrust making you go a little dumb in the head each time. 
"Cum-" You weren't even able to finish your sentence as you came with a cry at the same time Nanami placed his lips on your cheek and kissed softly, trailing those kisses over your shoulder and neck as his fingers and cock worked in perfect harmony to draw your orgasm out of you. "Coming, I'm coming- oh my god-" Kento groaned through his teeth, his hair tickling your face as he buried his head in your neck and ground his hips flush against yours. 
The circular movement of Kento's hips against your ass made your legs shake with sensitivity as his fat tip rubbed against your g-spot as he emptied his balls inside you. A warmth filled you from the inside out with each kick of his cock as he came, rope after rope of his seed filling you just like he did every time he fucked you. A loud, low, continuous groan left his throat as his balls throbbed with his release, his fingers finally ceasing their rubbing against your clit as he went still, basking in his orgasm while keeping himself inside you. 
You reached a shaky, weak amr behind you and grabbed the back of his neck, gently scraping your nails up along his neck and trimmed undercut of his hair. Nanami hummed in satisfaction before he lifted his head and found your lips with ease, kissing you gently and lovingly, like the two of you had all the time in the world and nothing would ever separate the two of you. 
He pulled away and looked at you, a content expression on his face. He leaned in to press one more kiss against your eyelid before he pulled back entirely, smoothing his hands down your sides as he pulled out of you, making the both of you moan at the missing contact of the other. You already wanted to whine about how empty you felt, but you knew you could have him whenever you wanted so that feeling didn't last long.
"My ass hurts." You complained, breaking the silence as you were now finally able to feel the full extent of his actions without a clouded mind. Kento laughed as he pulled your panties back in their rightful place, keeping his cum stuffed inside you as he patted his fingers over your cunt before dropping down and sliding your shorts up your legs. "I'm sorry, my love. I'll take responsibility." He said, a hint of amusement in his voice. 
"You gonna massage my ass all night?" You asked, pushing your body up and leaning against the back of the desk, not yet ready to fully rely on your shaky legs yet. "Of course, I was the one who bruised it after all." Kento nodded as he buckled his belt back into place before stalking forward and caging you in with his body. You wrapped your arms around his neck like you've done a thousand times and let him lean in to kiss your neck, his hands wrapping around your waist to help you stand.
"Good." You said, relishing in his kisses before speaking up again, grabbing ahold of his face and pulling him back so you could look at him properly before you asked your question. "Was the game really rigged this whole time or were you just saying all that to be sexy?" Nanami smiled at that, his own hands grabbing your cheeks as he placed a kiss to the top of your head, to lessen the blow of his inevitable answer you knew was coming. " You know it is, I will always catch you." 
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