#for a mental health break

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[batcavescolony]

It's not over, till it's over.

[chipinsolace]

So called “mental health advocates”: Mental health matters! You are loved!

People who have a psychotic disorder: oh thanks-

Same “mental health advocates”: LOL! Delulu is the solulu! I wanna dye my hair so bad THE VOICES are LITERALLY TALKING TO ME! Ugh I hate you I’m in your walls/j! It’s giving schizoposting! No girl this is spiritual psychosis, Hope this helps! I hate this guy he’s so psychotic.

:(

[thirteen-31]

@thirteen-31

[parasolladyansy]

Especially when she was younger, Ansy would feel this need to just HIDE - the world was unsafe, & she had to go somewhere that was. Sometimes it was dissociation or daydreaming, other times it was finding a bathroom or corner to hide in until it was okay.

One of these times, someone came looking for her; Ingo found her as the sun was going down, & sat with her in that hiding spot. Among the things he told her, this one stayed with her into adulthood - it told her that even when it felt like the world was ending, it might not be, that there might be a way to keep going if she was brave enough to peek around the corner.

—

It is your right to be sad, worried, or angry, no matter what others around you may say. You have your own reasons for feeling whatever you may be feeling, & that is your business. My own tears have dried up. Now, I’m peeking around the corner, & I think I see a way forward.

We’ll be okay, so long as we don’t give up & isolate. In my experience, bad people will do everything to make you feel all alone, that no one is listening, & no one is coming. That’s not true, so long as we don’t close our hearts to each other, or to ourselves.

Take care, okay? 🩵 I may keep drawing, but if not, see you Sunday for the next DxP update. ^_^

[bedazzlecunt]

if you need to take a break from kink, if you need less of a dynamic, you're not a bad person. a sub who needs time off from the rules and punishments is not a bad sub. a dom who needs a break from being in control or giving punishments is not a bad dom. you're a whole, complex person, and there's no shame in not being able to be one thing one hundred percent of the time. it's okay to take a break. anyone who shames you or makes you feel like you're letting them down because you aren't up to playing the way you usually are is not a good partner. don't let anyone shame you for attending to your needs, even if those needs include "less kink."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

hope you feel better soon!

I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!

[your-queer-dad]

Hi. You. Yes you reading this. I'm proud of you. You haven't done anything wrong. You can let go of the thing you're worried about. You can breathe and take a break. You can rest. Love you <3

[finifugue]

Listen I know in my head that the Lando puppy interview is mostly because of the PR success Leo Leclerc has had so now every team is on a pet thing but I do think it's HILARIOUS that McLaren went 'oh fuck everyone's saying our driver is severely mentally ill what are we gonna do? I know, let's make him play with puppies!'

[desideriumorsa]

.

Forgive me for lingering,

I do not know how to move on.

.

[nemmet]

🪵🐓 i started playing stardew valley a couple of weeks ago and shane’s eight heart event changed me forever i think

[vampiresawakenedmycravings]

Can you write Jasper Hale x Fem!Reader for overstimulation, like him using his powers to heighten her pleasure

Can do

528 words

Smut, overstimulation, powers, brat

Jasper watched as y/n woke up next to him, her h/c hair tangled in her face.

“Good morning love” he senses her joy and carefully moves her hair out of her face.

She smiles, her big e/c eyes warming his frozen cold heart. “good morning jasper”

“how are you feeling my love?” That makes her giggle

“You already know how I feel silly”

“Yes, but I’d like to hear you say it.”

She smiles again love for him showing on her face

“I’m happy, and in love”

He feigns innocence

“Now who’s got you’re heart all in a knot?” He smiles

She hums

“Oh, he’s the most wonderful man, he is so sweet. And handsome, and I swear he can tell how I feel” she kisses his neck softly “And did I mention how hot he is?”

He gasps at her boldness

“Love, you’re emotions are so strong,”

She continues to kiss him only stopping to say “and? What am I feeling?”

“Pleasure, and love” He grabs her hands before she realizes “I don’t think you understand what you’re starting y/n” he says sternly

“Please do tell,” she says sarcastically.

“Don’t be a bad girl, or I’ll have to punish you. You know how I do hate punishing you,”

she doesn’t stop

“And what will you do to punish me? Spanking is getting quite tiring.” She smirks

“You’ll see,” Jasper pulls off her underwear with his teeth. She gasps feeling his cold tongue go inside her. He uses his teeth to lightly pull on her clit.

“Fuck jasper,” she moans knowing he’s heightening her feelings with his power

“You like this my dear?”

“You’re gonna make me cum,” the pleasure takes her body over and she grabs his head pushing it deeper into her.

He moves his tongue faster inside of her till she cums on him. He slowly gets up reaching for a vibrator on the nightstand.

“Oh no,” she gasps, she had always heard of people being overstimulated by there partners, but she never thought she’d see the day when jasper was gonna do it

“Are pigs flying?” She laughs nervously.

“Hm?” He asks

“Never mind”

“Alright”

she hears the vibrator be turned on, she watches as jasper licks it to make it wet.

“You sure I can’t just pleasure you jasper?”

“You were a bad girl, this is you’re punishment, my love”

“Oh fuck me,” she moans out as she feels the vibrator enter her.

“In due time, y/n.”

Y/ns moans echo throughout the room, sounding like a sweet melody in jaspers ears.

After 20 minutes jasper had made her cum 5 times

“Jasper please no more,” she gasps for breath “or at least stop heightening my fe-“ she moans loudly coming a sixth time

“Cum for me one more time, my love”

the vibrations go up and y/n opens her legs farther. She moves jasper’s fingers to her clit. A couple seconds later she cums again. The vibrations stop finally letting her breathe.

“Omg Jasper, that felt so good,”

[tianhai03]

hi hello long time no see and happy halloween everyone. have some michael myers doodles🔪

[s0fter-sin]

something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

Had to share this video to show you how beautiful and culturally rich Palestine is. These are the cities of Palestine and their names. Despite the destruction and death, we still have hope. And we will survive this 🙏🇵🇸

It's a beautiful country full of beautiful people, and we deserve to live, frankly.

[dxmxuse]

Set up a pet cam today to see what Pool Noodle does when I’m gone. She sat at the corner of my bed watching the door for 5 hours while I was at work