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they need to make an Alien film where one of the main characters purposely gets impregnated by a facehugger in order to access the hive unharmed to destroy it 🔥
#that would be badass#follow me for more great ideas#alien#alien universe#xenomorph#lv 426#facehugger#or make a dr church short film#dr church#please
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Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.
#Fear and Hunger#D'arce Cataliss#Cahara#Ragnvaldr#Enki Ankarian#Unlike Dungeon Meshi - I cannot in good faith recommend this game to a broad audience.#My background with F&H goes as follows: I am hanging out with a friend. He says “hey try this game I've been playing.” I say “Okay!”#I have never heard of this game. I pick the mercenary. I go through 5 min of character history and background. I am mauled to death by dogs#It took me 4 resets to even get in the dungeon. But I finally get there. I am caught by a guard. He cuts off all but one of my limbs#I am forced to crawl around in a blood and corpse pit until the game tells me 'give up idiot'.#I reset. I am mauled by dogs again. I realize this is not for me but I am intrigued enough to go home and watch some playthroughs#And WOW what an interesting game it is! I really do appreciate games that blend their design philosophy with the theme it wants to set#This is a game about fear and hunger. And persevering. And penis (my god is there a lot of penis)#I recommend this to people who like extremely challenging games and can handle the many *content warnings* within this series#If the idea of Bloodborne/eldenring and undertale having a little RPG maker baby sounds appealing to you - give it a shot#It's made by ONE GUY and it's a great horror game. I am just really bad at it.#My friends just enjoy putting me in situations where I scream and yell. We don't talk about the corn mazes. Or the other horror game nights#Apparently I'm funny when I'm Scared!#As people who follow me on twitter might know; I am deep in the pits of this series right now. I will be back with more art.
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and! barbarian!fig! its her
#fantasy high#dimension 20#figueroth faeth#fh class quangle#if u look at the junior year design and think tifa lockhart: yeag#I already thought the cleric!gorgug junior year design kinda is very aerith so. lol#but! I do feel like these designs maybe portray the clearest arc out of all of them so far. I like that#some of it came from a bit of necessity which is really fun that mirrors the actual play format thats cool#(necessity being freshman year riz is pretty much a huge block of red flannel lmao. kinda stole figs canon color coding for a bit)#(and he's got the owlbear jacket from taping the games in sophomore year... so I cant give fig the big red blocking until#junior year lmao. coincidentally this forced me to be a bit more dynamic with her concept which is great)#her second pair of shoes very sonic tho. I kinda enjoy that lol#tbh I really love that canon gorgug is like in a pair of chucks 24/7 that is SO funny for a barbarian I hope to keep the energy going#with class swap fig I think a barbarian who wears like collector sneakers is awesome. the foot support is so important to their work#the general idea of a hyperfem girlypop barbarian still ticks for me tbh. idk enough abt the zeitgeist to know if thats passé now or not#but doing Fashion on ur job of bodily tearing ur opponent apart with the least flourish possible is just a hit for me#her knee brace is from like an injury back in her cheer days that she got by overexercising in hope of being good enough that#the team couldn't let her go. the team then used that same injury as a pretext to let her go#I think abt her arc tbh... fig's thing in canon junior year abt the point of her rebelling. I feel like a lot of it can also apply to rage#both knocking things over and holding onto things don't like. make anything new. destruction without at least a glimpse of a vision#of the after is ultimately a cynical defeatist point of view... strategic barbarianism for fig babeyy#yay! once again its time for me to Fucking Sleep. but hopefully I can hammer out a proper ref for riz and gorgug both in the#following week inbetween doing my job. its that time of da year lads (<- fully seasonal worker)
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it's been awhile since I last persona'd..
I don't want to forget how to draw him!
#persona#persona 3#persona 3 reload#doodle#the original p3 cover art has a great charm to it#for the people who follow me for a specific fandom.. I'm sorry.. I actually have no idea what I'll get really excited for next..#I have a little more time to draw now for the next week for so so I'll be able to focus and draw colored painting too.
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I can't stop thinking about the post from a few days ago about how Critical Role has been great at doing personal faith but didn't put the necessary work in to discuss the religious/god angle of c3 in-depth. Like the fact that Cardinal Respa was linked to both the Dawnfather and the Chained Oblivion is, on a personal level, very interesting (fallen/corrupted priest goes hard) but like does that mean that there's a Papacy somewhere in Exandria dedicated to the Dawnfather? If so, are there more cardinals who ordain the bishops of the Dawnfather? Are there Conclave-level intrigues going on in the Dawnfather's Sistine Chapel? Why is the Dawnfather so Christianity-coded in vibes alone if there's no actual outline of his religious organisations? With Downfall the Dawnchild/Dawnfather thing makes the allusions to Christ as Son of God co-existing with the Father textual - was there a Dawnfather Schism around whether the Dawnchild was a separate mortal? Was there a Reformation about how the Dawnfather's Pope kept selling indulgences? Is that why the priest of the Dawnfather Grog & Pike offer a drink to doesn't partake because of a cultural shift between Protestant-Temperance-League-coded and Catholic-coded Dawnfather congregations? Why do I have so many questions about the religious organisation of one of the most important Prime Deities in Exandria and to Critical Role's 3 campaigns? How on earth were the cast (and us as the viewers!) meant to care about the gods if all they had were "really tall kings" instead of interrogating how religious organisations provide both a place of healing and community to a wide range of people and also a place of horrific harm and abuse for a wide range of people?
#cr meta#cr discourse#critical role#it's just. maddening#i mean a college of cardinals who can all shoot god a quick dm and ask who's the best for pope is an absolutely hilarious image#makes for a great comedic setpiece tbh#but like seriously matt if your whole multi-campaign story needs people to have strong feelings about the gods beyond how they personally#affected them (keyleth vex and ashton come to mind as people who were negatively affected by certain gods due to personal reasons)#it might be a good idea to develop the religious organisations of these gods! let people see how these things work out instead of letting a#vibes-based approach to christianity rule the whole discussion! kord's whole deal about strong people is fascinating! are his priests all#body builders? do they have a central hierarchy based on strength? we don't know!#are the wildmother's clergy pro- or anti-alcohol? does she even have a clergy?#or are all the religious temples we have seen just set dressing because religious buildings in the real world just have cool designs?#is it because in fantasy the trope is that most protagonists don't care about religion and their temples are literally there for vibes?#i'm aware i'm getting way too close to stan-parasociality on that last point but if we have a cardinal “do we have a pope” is a logical#follow-up question. i'm aware there's not that much info in the campaign guides so that gms can do their own thing but in the#“the gods deserve to be eaten because they were mean to me” campaign surely a more interesting line would be “do the gods deserve us if#their organisations cause systemic harm as was done to bor'dor and........"#can you tell i don't want to do any actual work today. i sure can't#and yes i'm main-tagging this if people are hostile to me on the internet for this buddy there's a phenomenal button i'd like you to meet
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i am now officially in 2025 so happpppy happy happy new year my lovelies<333333333333 thank you for spending your time with me here thank you for letting me do whatever it is that i'm doing thank you for reading my silly little writings it all means the fucking world to me!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this new year will be gentle with all of us i hope it will be good and fun and exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope we will all find jobs and our dream homes and i hope our health will get better aaand i hope we can all do the things we love and enjoy and that we get to hang out here aaaand that we will keep cheering each other on!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!
#i am soooso proud of all of you#it has been a Year#but we have made it yayyyyyyyy#i've made so many great friends and honestly.. i have no idea where i'd be without you guys#i love you#thank you for everything<333333333#i will try to get better and do better and give more back because well . you all deserve the best of the best okay#and that is a fact#sorry i can't really express how i feel like this but i just really really hope you know how much i appreciate all of you#i will try to get better at that too#thank you to all of my lovely followers and my anons#thank you my dear mutuals#thank you for being so patient and so supportive#i genuinely couldn't wish for anything more you're all so fucking good to me#thank you thank you thank you#MWAH AND MWAH AND MWAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!#mayor of loserville
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i think sacred music in the kryn dynasty would be very cyclical and repetitive in form to symbolize the idea that life is a continuous thing (at least those who are consecuted right right) and is a cycle across lifetimes and yeah
#court rambambles#cr#critical role#kryn dynasty#finishing up my religions class and i've used the last two topics to research non-western music because hi music major western music gets#super fucking boring. and i've been having a Blast listening to classical indian music. this shit slaps. i fucking LOVE music with drones.#but since this is a religions class obvs im researching in in the context of religion so I'm doing music in hinduism and this was something#brought up in like 2 sentences not even in a paper im using a a ref and it reminded me a lot of this and idk yknow. very neat.#ive been thinking a lot about fantasy music as well. okay like using western music and medieval western European music as inspo is fine and#dandy.#but like goodness guys there are so many other amazing cultures and styles and genres of music and subdivisions within cultures and i just.#im so amazed by them. give me that microtonal music give me these awesome instruments give me these great scales and rhythms and just. yes#if anyone comes from some non western European cultures and has neat traditional/folk/classical/whatever music and they want to share it my#dms and ask boxes are/should be open and stuff. please i just like learning about music across the world#*non western-european bc yknow eastern europe has unique things too#FOLLOW ME FOR MORE POSTS LIKE THIS WHERE I RAMBLE ABOUT MUSIC AND MY INTERESTS. SOMETIMES I EVEN POST ART AND TALK ABOUT MY OCS WHOAAAA#please talk to me about music i just really like music. it's not like im majoring in it at all. is it a smart idea in this economy with adh#wellll yknow
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Origins is of course the DA game most closely in conversation with and playing around with Tolkien (right down to the walking talking poetree haha) -- and even more so than most works in the larger western fantasy tradition derived from Tolkien's work that DA:O also hails from and owes a lot of its Stuff to, what makes the game so great to me is that it's doing so very deliberately, and is subverting and deconstructing those tropes and entrenched ideas in some very interesting ways without at all denigrating what it's commenting on. (it doesn't have the almost disdainful undertones of the vein of fantasy that seeks to make the world more 'realistic' ala the more tedious reactions to G.R.R.Martin's work, for example, despite having the darker fantasy bent to it.) among other elements it adopts, what I find the most fascinating is the choice to use the same literary device/conceit Tolkien did in ostensibly only having in-universe biased sources and works to deliver the world through (which I feel is an underappreciated thing about his approach but is part of what makes his world so enduringly compelling and real-feeling -- the feeling of real scholarship devoted/applied to a made-up world. the grounding effect of a good diegetic footnote about source criticism, truly).
many things to be said there, and I'm glad each following game has taken on different perspectives and lenses and traditions to view the world of Thedas through because if you stick with that one too closely for too long I fear we could teeter precariously close to Pratchett's famous and bitingly accurate accusation of most modern fantasy of that era just being about rearranging the furniture in Tolkien's attic lol. and while you could accuse DA2 (my perfect wife who has never done anything wrong in her life to be clear) of many things, that's not one of them, they are pulling on some completely different strings for that one and both the game and DA overall is better for it, to my mind. as so many things in this series: worth staying with and exploring for an installment even if it might get stale if all of it was like this! people are understandably sad about the elements from previous games that they liked which were lost along the way, but that capacity for reinvention is to my mind a huge strength of dragon age as a whole.
(I think Veilguard is coming in as a close second in Tolkien conversation-ness if only in outlining/revealing the worldbuilding that indeed may have been planned since DA:O around the animosity that SHOULD by all rights exist between dwarves and elves in this universe (as per Tolkienesque tradition standards). but doesn't really because you see: politics and the many pitfalls of conservation of knowledge over the ages. our ancestral enmity got semi-intentionally lost between the floorboards of history and you know what. maybe for the best. the humans are already up to so much shit you gotta keep your eyes on them at all times you can't be brawling with each other in the deep roads while they're still around getting up to their nonsense or they'll just pile up even more of it)
#dragon age#dragon age origins#been thinking about the unreliable narration/in-universe texts only element being the thing da:o took from tolkien that's most defining#for a LONG time and I want to write something smart about it sometime but alas. this is what I've got right now haha#I think *some* da:o nostalgia is about that familiar safe childhood feeling of Fantasy World in a pattern that was so deeply entrenched#for many many MANY years. it's been in the groundwater of the genre for so long it's only fairly recently the patterns were broken#on like a mainstream sort of scale. I know I'm getting older b/c I keep going 'how do I explain to some of these people#that the world (both the real one the fictional one and the gaming one) was a very different place back in 2009' lol#and I agree there's something so tremendously comforting about it even with all the grimdark elements more in the martin vein#that's also in da:o. the same way you get satisfaction out of the structural familiarity of fairy tale logic but for a whole genre#da:o follows the Rules of a fantasy world in post-tolkien tradition -- even when it's subverting them it's doing so in reference#to a set of tropes and ideas both you and the game are deeply familiar and comfortable with#(da:o IS also just a really fucking good game I'm NOT saying people's love for it comes from being blinded by nostalgia haha#just an observation of a thing I've recognized in myself as well. there are elves there are dwarves there are talking trees and dragons#and basically orcs. all is as it should be and everything makes sense <- the part of me that grew up on lotr and derived works lol)#and while the other games also have all these elements they don't USE them in the same way and it doesn't feel the same. it's so interestin#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#only in the vaguest way but still#you know what veilguard occasionally feels more like actually. sci-fi! and it's not an accusation or a bad thing for me I think it's great#da:i veers more to high fantasy and da2 feels weirdly low-fantasy -- it's a story where magic also happens to exist but I almost forget lol#it's a magical world and magic is integral to the plot but thematically it's so much about real-feeling political conflict#da:o is a Quest in da2 you're new in town (and it gets worse)
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I love how my fics thus far are
Varian dies slowly and painfully of hypothermia Eurydice style
haha funny heist fic with Team Awesome. Silly brothers, so wholesome! (Which is almost at 1k reads let’s go!!!!!)
omg another comedic Team Awesome fic? Wow Varian is such a silly little guy.
The depressing and gut wrenching point of view of a child realizing they were mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by a terrorist and their relationship was a lie used to manipulate him.
Awe New Dream what cuties! Eugene is trying so hard to be a good boyfriend good for him!
Ooh a 1950’s au about New Dream and the Tangled found family? Sign me up this will be fun and silly!
West Side Story AU. Eugene is dead. Hugo killed him. Varian is still in love with Hugo. Rapunzel is heartbroken and angry with Varian. They’re singing at eachother. I wrote this in an hour and want to delete it.
#This pattern is funnier than anything I’ve ever written#Stay tuned I have more bullshit to post#And yeah#it will be following the pattern of stupid and morbid#I have so many ideas and so little motivation but I will definitely finish The New Dream Diner#And Rueitae and Nerdsaurus keep giving me so many great ideas guys please stop I can’t take it anymore my brain is rotting /pos#I may or may not have a Gothel comes back wip 👀#Also a rp blog about a Coronan historian#Hehehe#tts#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#varian#eugene fitzherbert#rapunzel#team awesome#new dream
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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so i’m getting top surgery some time between the months of february and august of this year (would rather february obv but seems like summer might make more sense logistically). the thing is my extended family does not necessarily know that i have any kind of gender thing going on, not because they don’t have access to this information, but simply bc they don’t care enough about me to think about any aspect of my identity (because the world revolves around my cousin and i have always been peripheral). which means there is a very real possible future this year when i roll up to a week long extended family beach vacation like….. sans tits and with two new massive scars……… i don’t plan on explaining anything in advance bc i’m sure my cousin will be emailing everyone her own personal accommodations beforehand and i wouldn’t want to get in the way, but like…. surely at least one of them will notice? even if i don’t go shirtless and i wear a bikini despite not needing one, they will notice, surely? and from there, what happens? it’s a mystery, but also has the potential to be very fucking funny in my opinion
#my grandma and one of my uncles would normally ask my dad about it nervously except idk if they’ll know how to phrase it this time?#it won’t stop them from asking but it will throw a wrench in the works for a little bit as they figure out how#then that uncle will ask ME a bunch of questions and that will be the most awkward and unpleasant part for me#(i do not want to share my gender journey with these people)#my other uncle and his ?wifepartnerpereon? may not notice and will not ask anyone about it#and my two cousins + their parents clan? honestly no idea how they’ll react#the cousins will notice obviously. they might ask me about it#the older one will tell her parents#her dad will probably mention it to my dad but be super weird about it. not in a transphobic way but in a condescending misogynist way#(bc he still sees me as a little girl with no autonomy or common sense)#and then me might make weird comments at me which is whatever#and my cousins mom will probably be sacharinely excited for me and give me a hug and say that’s great!#which does not make her any less of an insane liberal rich white woman or any more of a good mother but i’ll appreciate the sentiment#and my younger cousin will be cool but surprised#except less surprised bc i’ve always done weird shit to my body as far as they were concerned when we were growing up#so i think they’ll see this as just an extension of all the hair dye and piercings and tattoos#my cousins shouldn’t be surprised at ALL bc they and their goddamn parents all follow me on instagram and my pronouns on that app have been#they/them for like 5 years at this point they’ve just never bothered to notice#such is life#i won’t even pretend to know how my one uncle’s girlfriend and her shit daughter will react#they are both as unpleasant as they are utterly fucking baffling#so god only knows.#anyways it won’t change much in the long run bc family vacation will still end up being all abt my cousin anyways <3 god bless
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boyfriend shirt...
update: if you like this art, please go check out this fic that @chessala wrote for it ╥﹏╥
update cont: this is the first time someone's ever written something for art that I've made, and I'm still so happy and touched beyond words that she wrote this. she was even kind enough to share the initial draft with me and asked for feedback and even worked in little suggestions i had for expanding on different parts of the writing, which was so fun and collaborative and I haven't gotten to do something like that in ages. I'm so overwhelmed (in a good way) and it feels like getting to beam the full mental vision of the scenario i had in my brain while working on this piece into the mind of anyone who reads it; ;
i know these close up crops are a bit silly but well. i did my best lol... the full version is up on my alt twitter linked in my pinned post ♡
please also observe the little 🐰 logo.... it is silly & crucial....
#ssmy#sasaki to miyano#miyano yoshikazu#sasaki shuumei#to say this piece exhausted me is an understatement lol...#i had to completely restart 4 times & because i used the same file the whole time my total hours were logged...#and i literally spent over 120 hours on this from start to finish... the last few days alone was over 20 hours...#this final attempt that ended up working was probably at least 50 or more hours on its own...#I'm mostly happy with how it's turned out but I'm kind of frustrated cause people might look at it and think it's just a sketch#when it's actually a fully rendered piece that i almost gave up on multiple times because the anatomy was so hard to figure out#even after making a pose ref in clip studio to help... the 3d puppet models are great but they DO NOT work well for any sitting poses#sorry to complain so much in the tags lol... i am very sleep deprived and just not feeling great about my art...#frustrated that my adhd makes it so that i have a million ideas - but only the capacity to follow through on any of them extremely slowly..#so i end up feeling like I'm just... i dunno. slow and falling behind... agh 😞#I need to sleep.....#update: i finally had a good night's sleep and now I'm feeling a bit better lol
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you can never make me hate superman. selfless help, with a smile!
#im on my superman origin rereads rn ( reading only the good ones thank u) to come up w a solid timeline here#ugh i love the lil things with clark. he was born to be good. there is never a resosn why. his goodness is a sense of duty not from tragedy#yoou could argue krypton is a tragedy to motivate him but he wasnt old enough to rmmr anything and only found out much later…#he just grew up one day ready to leave his farm to give the world sometting to strive for.#the minute this early 20 y/o put his cape on the world became more hopeful. kinder. more united. all under a idea to strive for#hence the quote its what superman would do.#he ask for nothing and gives his all. i know by now you all know this about hom having followed me… BUT ITS ALL HE ENCOMPASSES#so i love talking about it again n again. the humble beginnings of even a superman is so touching. we all can be great. hes so inspiring.
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My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.
#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days#like mental health dead in mariana trench#and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with#but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them#she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story#and i was so surprised and exicted#that's actually a too mild description#and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh..#and started texting someone#i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something#and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature#so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections#i do the art for her book covers#and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going#finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day#and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her#i left went home and started at a wall for hours#i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read#i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me#and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops
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people who don't follow you, but tag you and then delete your tag after you reblog their post...
#text#yeah okay supporting each other is great cos I will reblog things I am tagged in and that I enjoy#my blog literally runs on queue#i have 500+ posts in queue right now#I love reblogging things I like#I am happy when the person tags me and I know those who usually tag me do this cos they know I love the show#the character the ship whatever and they know I will enjoy it#they don't do it thinking I have lots of followers and my reblog gets them more reblogs#but then random person who does not follow me tags me I am a little confused#cos they either saw my tag on someone else's post and have no idea who I am just think I am someone big akjshdjkahd lol#or they found my post in the tag and opened my blog to see if I track a tag so they tag me#the word tag is overused here/// move on#and that's fine tag me if you want if I like it I reblog it#but when you untag me after? like...#this is super weird#I know it's hard to get notes lately#but this...#I find it kinda irritating#we are not gonna be friends if you create posts just to get notes and that's the only thing you care about#I blocked people for less tbh and that's why I will never become tumblr popular with my 7 followers lmaaaooo#like I might sometimes tag a specific group blog that I don't follow just because I don't watch anything but that specific thing I posted#I don't even tag people I don't follow at all#anyway... thanks for coming to my ted talk
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had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it
#j. talks#went to visit my brother in his uni city and also connected it with an event there#I know this event because I went there once with a uni course that of course was with my fave former prof#so I know she's usually there but it's a bigger city and Friday and there are a lot of things at different locations#chances are not zero but I thought come on if anything it will be casual running into her#well as I was waiting with my brother and a whole crowd of people to be let in who do I hea#and see :))) yeah it's my fave prof. and I told my brother and he told me to go and say hi but there were so many people already talking to#her and also going there and saying hi so I simply couldn't. I literally froze our shoulders were nearly touching but she wasn't even facin#me and taking and I just followed my brother and he was like???#what was that?? and I didn't know. and he asked my why I looked so shameful out of all the emotions I chose shame#and I don't know. I don't know why shame I consuming me no matter where I go. but she was busy and imagine I go up and she has no idea who#am anymore. they had to burry me right there and then. so that was that :) now#the name of that street of the location burned into my memory as I was facing the wall well it's the name of [redacted] who I never really#get over and it's been 10 years now soon. and we had a similar experience in December :) where I would have loved nothing more really than#to talk (in Decembar definitely also other things that I miss on some days very much) but I barely got a wave#so yeah :) I actually had a great day but I am more than overwhelmed. I feel like crying and hiding#taurus season is apparently not here to save me? idk#is this all about wasted potential and shame stopping me? maybe. but how the fuck do I get it out of me
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