#fine i'll get in my feelings
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Lauren Sanderson - Allison
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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How I save time on backgrounds as a full-time webcomic artist
Hi! I make webcomics for a living, and I have to be able to draw a panel extremely fast to keep up with my deadlines. I draw about 50 panels a week, which gives me about 45 minutes per panel if I want any semblance of a healthy work-life balance.
Most webtoon artists save time on backgrounds by using 3d models, which works for them and is great! but personally I hate working in 3d... I went to school for it for a year and hated it so much I completely changed career paths and vowed never to do it again! So, this is how I save time without using any 3d, for those of you out there who don't like it either!
This tactic has also saved me money (3d models are expensive) and it has helped me converting my comic from scroll format into page format for print, because I have much more art to work with than what's actually in the panels. (I'll touch on this later)
So, first, I make my backgrounds huge. my default starting size is 10,000 x 10,000 pixels. My panels are 2,500 pixels wide, so my backgrounds are 4x that, minimum. Because of this, I make them less detailed than I could or that you might expect so it doesn't look weird against my character art when I shrink portions of it down.
I personally find it much easier to add in detail than to make "removing" details look natural at smaller sizes, but you might have different preferences than I do.
I also make sure to keep all of my elements on separate layers so that I can easily remove or replace them, I can move them to simulate different camera angles more easily, and it's simple to adjust the lighting to imply different times of day.
Then I can go ahead and copy/paste them into my episodes. I move the background around until it feels like it's properly fitting how I want.
Once I've done that in every panel, I'll go back through the episode and clean up anything that looks weird, and add in solid blacks (for my art style) Here's a quick before and after of what that looks like!
This makes 90% of my backgrounds take me just a few hours. This is my tactic when I'm working in an environment that an entire scene, or multiple scenes, will take place.
But many panels will inevitably have a location that's used exactly once, and it would waste time and effort to draw a massive background for those. So in 10% of cases, I just draw the single panel background in the episode. I save all of these, just in case I can re-use it later (this happens more often with outdoor locations, but I save them all nonetheless!)
I generally have to draw about 2 big backgrounds per episode, and 3-5 single-panel backgrounds per episode! At the beginning of an arc/book the number is higher, but as the series is continuing and I'm building up an asset library of indoor and outdoor elements to re-use for the book, the number generally goes down and I save more time.
My series involves time travel and mysteries, so there's a lot of new locations in it and we're constantly moving around. If I were working on a series that was more consistent in this aspect, this process would save me even more time!
Like I said earlier, this also saves me a lot of pain and gives me a lot more options as I'm converting from scroll format to print format!
panels that look like this in scroll format...
can look like this in print!
because I drew the background like this, so I didn't need to go through the additional effort to add in the extra detail to expand it outwards at all.
Anyways, I hope this helps someone! As always if it doesn't help, just go ahead and disregard. This is what I do and what works for me, and I feel like I only ever see time-saving tips for comics that involve 3d models and workflows, which don't work for me at all! I know there's more people like me out there, so this is for you!
Enjoy!
Also obligatory "my webcomic" if you want to see this in action or check it out!
#webcomic tips#webcomic making#comic tips#comic tutorial#art tutorial#art tips#time and time again#my ocs#digital art#ttawebcomic#hmmmm....#longpost#yeah it's a long post#I'll claim this one#lots of images#I hope this helps#I'm always worried when I make some kind of guide or tutorial people are gonna get mad at me lmao#I'm not saying 3d models are bad to use!!!#I just dont like them!#my brain doesnt work like that and it feels SO so so so tedious to me#TO ME PERSONALLY!!!#plenty of people see 3d models as a total lifesaver#and that's perfectly fine!#but yeah I don't see tutorials about saving time in comics that like... dont... mention 3d models...#like what about me and the other extremely particular girlies who hate 3d#anyways#yeah#just hoping this helps#nothing against 3d at all#I mean. ok personally yes against it cause it sucks for me to use
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doodling teetles
And here are some close-ups (might put them on their own backgrounds one day, but it's 5 AM and I'm tired so):
#i am the modern lazarus#crawling out of my cave and im feeling just fine-#behold: teetles#you know that emotion when a skittish cat decides to get in your lap? that's the emotion Raph is feeling rn#they're all so precious to me#i'll never be over that deleted mikey-centric episode where he gets a pet robot#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#explodingstar art#rottmnt donnie#rise nova#rise donnie#rise raph#rise leo#rise mikey#save rise of the tmnt#rottmnt michelangelo#rottmnt rapheal#rottmnt leonardo#donatello tmnt#cw eyestrain#<- playing it safe
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if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying
(Wolverine (2020) #3)
#xmen#xmen comics#krakoa#magneto#ok fine logan can get a tag too. this IS his story after all ja/lkLAJVEAVKLJ#wolverine#snap scans#i should read the rest of this run but its like 47 issues i think so. gonna take some time with that#spliced up the panels so its easier to look at everything. and so i can frame drunk passed out erik on my wall#someone uploaded some of the first page some time ago but 1.) i forgot to rb it 2.) it didnt include the rest of the scene#it ESP didnt include erik fallin face first on the table and his lil sleepin face on the next page like please im gettin cuteness aggressio#im so miffed that these are printed on the same page cause i woulda framed this spread otherwise like PLEASE#this shit got me GIGGLING SO BAD i cant. 'dare i say it .......' he's so unnecessary i love him so much#he's so silly ..... also someone said it best in that whenever erik's drawn like a bug it's the best thing#like look at him. that's a beetle. that's my little beetle and i love him i need to put him in a terrarium and watch him#honestly theres a LOT of things i have scanned and wanna share however i have to do it. Reasonably so to speak#in that i dont want to accidentally drown out all my doodling with comic scans jvEALKVJEAKL#maybe i'll do it sandwich style ... art -> scan -> art -> scan etc etc#that does remind me i have a doodle i wanted to do today. so maybe ill do that and share another thing i got scanned ....#unfortunately i do very much love reading the comics. a troublesome thing cause theres so much i wanna share and talk about#like from this issue too i love how hank describes what charles' mutation feels like#its not a grand thing but i love it whenever charles' telepathy is described and how it effects him physiologically#maybe hank was just Theorizing what it feels like but still ... i love that insight so much .....#i'll share that quote another time- i prob won't scan the page cause it's just a text log but i will say it was from here dont worry#ok ive rambled long enough BYE im gonna go draw charles
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hyeah iummm sorry I've gotta flush out all the mushiness out of my system. you know how it is. it's whateva
#inside out#inside out 2#pixar inside out#inside out disgust#inside out embarrassment#fighting for my life over here theyre INVADING MY BRAIN RAHH!!! STAWP IT /LH#disgust#embarrassment#disbarrassment#disgust x embarrassment#fine i'll settle for that one for now#gene art#do not be fooled with the sweetness im like 80% sure they won't get to this point#unless theyre upfront about their feelings. which um. well#gestures to the both of them /lh#not impossible but also . yeah
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species medley ft. gorgug and riz
#fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#cw: body horror#tbh mostly for the goblin shark jaws lmao. the rest is like. fine I think#ngl drawing like snouts on a humanoid face is kinda awesome I enjoy it#it is kinda a little bit what I aimed for with how I drew riz at first but I pulled back on it#the elephant remix for gorgug I think actually feels a bit more like orc rather than half-orc#maybe the tusks wouldn't get the same lip closure in half-orcs. tho tbh saying that sharing human and orc heritages would result in#consistent physical traits across the board is already kind of a reach I think. I imagine there would be a Lot of variations#and well. at least in spyre we don't see non-human mixed heritages so far... Ive been in my dunmeshi brain lmao#getting to see ryoko kui's art of mixed humans (dunmeshi in-universe term not irl term) is like coming home. thank u ma'am#anyways uhhh I think. I will have refs for every class swap bad kid (at least the full like per-season sets)#fig I'll post separately and then riz and gorgug I'll just include in like a masterpost kinda thing I think#u already know tf is up with them babey!!! just expressing those designs again for convenience#its been really fun figuring these designs out! and necessary if I wanna draw riz bc its literally impossible to doodle him on his own lmao#hes with his friends a lot actually. theyre literally in each others pockets the whole time#anyways! now I sleep. tomorrow? chillin. waiting to watch new nsbu with friend again. see u!
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Mutual aid post
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
So....
...things have been goin not so great lately
I've been putting this off but my bank account went negative a little bit ago, and it's taken me about a week to get around to it.... But I made a gofundme to just kinda..... Try and catch some breathing room, yknow..?
Please do not feel obligated to donate, and don't feel bad for scrolling past, either. Trust me, I get it; and while I do desperately and immensely appreciate anyone who donates or shares this, I wouldn't dream of trying to guilt anyone into anything. Thank you for even reading all this, genuinely; and whatever I do get, I am so, so grateful for each and every one of you. 💖
#original#gofundme#lucys gofundme#those tags are mostly for my own reference so I can find this post again hopefully#I'll save it regardless but. multiple points of failure yk?#anyway genuinely do not feel bad scrolling past#it's fine and I completely get it
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I'M IN SHAMBLES!!!!
#no one hold me im FEELING THINGS#EBHRFBHERBHFJBHERFB#THIS WAS SO FUN???#oh my god#whitney is officially my fave#im so sorry eden my beloved#but you get second place right now#HBERBFHJRHBEJFBHJERF#whitney the bully#pardon the flood of screenshots this is for art purposes !!!!! for the doodles !!!!!!!!#degrees of lewdity#whitney christmas event#dol related#dol whitney#HJBREBFBEJHRFBEBRHJFBHERF IM SO !!!! IM SO SMITTEN WITH THIS BOY ACTUALLY#mfer too pussy to tell it to me on his own jfc BUT THATS FINE#I'LL TAKE IT#i'm gonna treasure this piece of paper forever
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Lauren Sanderson - HYPOCRITE
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I will never get used to How gently you treat me. As if I were fragile as glass, My existence lacking solidity.
#writerscreed#spilled ink#dark academia#original poetry#original poem#love notes to no one#love notes#love#love poem#short poem#writers and poets#poets on tumblr#my poetry#my poem#women writers#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr#desi dark academia#spilled thoughts#spilled words#this is so 📚🧮#especially 🧮 with 📚#it's the thing of:#'i've been through so much - this is the least of my worries' & 'i can deal with this - i'll get through it ~fine~'#vs.#'just because you can doesn't mean you have to' & 'you've dealt with it all your life - please rest and let me help you for once'#i have no strong feelings about this dw
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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offering three cookies 🍪🍪🍪
(<< part 1)
#kirby just whipping out the big guns right away. let's go on the ~warp star~! he knew this would get her instantly#i think also it's impossible to be sad when you are being cuddled by kirby tbh. bandee too!! what a cute prompt!#i thought i'd combine several of these sorts of asks and comments into one! sorry for not drawing adeleine; another time!#i just thought this worked well as a happy ending here. everything is fine!! they're all good now!! happy tappies and all!! hooray!#and nothing weird or bad happened here at all!! just a little breakdown but it's in the past!! phew. yay! <3#tried something fun with the layouts for this to be half interactive/asks and half comic panels? i think it worked!#not sure this REALLY answers many questions but... i did this for fun when i was supposed to be doing other things!! i hope you'll enjoy!#also i LOVED ALL THESE ASKS i hope this doesn't make anyone feel bad for sending them in. this is just for dramatic effect!!!!#also ALSO this took longer than expect so i'll do those other ask responses tomorrow. thank you for all the well wishes everybody! <3#starstruck dee#bandana waddle dee#kirby#my art#my comics
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Everyone tell me why you support your sports team/sports person!
#I'm bored at work and love hearing people's sport origin stories!#I'll start!#I support West Ham because my Dad does#boring I know!#And when I was 25 and Ella decided to get me into football I was like fine but I support this team as I have a hat from when I was 11!#every other support I have watching sports either comes from them being British and lovely (see Andy Murray)#or I've immediately attached myself to them for reasons that cannot be rationally explained (see Ronnie O'Sullivan)#I feel very strongly that any way you start watching a sport is completely legit#especially by the way if you see a person and are like yes I want to immediately collect them!!!#see me @ jannik sinner#please join in I really do love hearing people talk about why they support certain teams and athletes!!!
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Yearning <3 ...
#murder drones#murder drones au#menhera drones#comic#fan comic#murder drones uzi#menhera drones uzi#murder drones n#menhera drones n#murder drones thad#menhera drones thad#unrequited crush#art#my art#made with krita#i'll be honest im not that proud of this one#oh well </3 it's fine#i just wanted it to get done because uhhhh i'll feel bad if it isnt 👍👍
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