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gaganpublicschool · 23 days ago
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Gagan Public School, Greater Noida West – Best School in Noida Extension
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tragedry · 7 months ago
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the sbg kids, but instead of them getting trapped into the phantom dimension they get trapped into a corn maze.
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 5 months ago
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While Edwin’s more than a bit stand-offish and definitely not the most tactful, I never did get the sense that he doesn’t like people - in fact, I think his insistence that he’s “not good with people” and his general emotional detachment/disinterest has a lot more to do with his assumption that they don’t or won’t like him.
And while that’s very sad to think about… it’s not as if his belief here is hard to understand, considering his past experiences. But it’s left him quite guarded and lonely, and of course, the more he isolates himself from people other than Charles (and even here, he allows himself little vulnerability), the more he reinforces this fear that people won’t like him, and the less he allows himself to properly sympathize or empathize with others, which is why his friendships with Crystal and Niko and Monty (short-lived as that was) are so important. Once he started to let some of those walls down, to not be so scared of vulnerability and to be around people who allow themselves to feel and want so readily (to live! who allow themselves to live without fear of loving!), he’s really not nearly as bad with people as he seems to think he is - and, in fact, he’s actually quite good at saying or doing the right thing for them when it really counts.
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swordheld · 1 year ago
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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blueskittlesart · 8 months ago
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Feel free to ignore this but as someone who also goes to art school, I find it really interesting how other art schools also have a “don’t date your peers” sort of faux pa. Like so many people I know (including me) refuse to date anyone else who goes to my college 😭
I wonder why that is tbh, small school thing maybe?
being so serious i didn't have anything against dating other art school peers when i first came here and i think most freshmen dont but once you have one or two art school relationships under your belt you realize why all the upperclassmen avoid dating each other like the plague
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spaghett-onaplate · 5 months ago
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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thedrotter · 4 months ago
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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antique-symbolism · 1 year ago
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Fellow TUC fans: how and when did you first find the series?
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atissi · 1 year ago
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if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own
#unless you live near a planned parenthood or another equivalent to that#but in general you might as well take advantage of the mandatory student health insurance while you have it#it's also cheaper than you might expect. my vials cost $40 CAD for 4 months and then the injection materials are like a couple dollars each#for me i got a therapist with the university and asked them to recommend me to one of the uni's doctors#so i got to skip some of the waitlisting process yay#and then even after getting access to hormones i went to the clinic maybe 5 or 6 times because i needed a nurse to help me with injections#all of which was 'free' because it was with the university#now that i'm graduated though i need to find a new endocrinologist and it turns out the process is WAY more complicated on your own 🤡#of course your mileage may vary depending on how based your school is but it's definitely worth checking imo 🤷#beepbeep.txt#wanted to say this because i basically didn't use the uni health services until my last year and i was like 'wow#'i'm actually getting so much shit for free right now'#like i was seeing a therapist and a dietician and the endocrinologist and a nurse simultaneously at one point#and i might've missed out on all that if i didn't have someone tell me how easy it was to get help if you ask the right questions#so there's my word of wisdom for anyone who might benefit from it.......#also going to post tips about injections later because i think that would also help people out 👍
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arolesbianism · 1 year ago
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I recently decided to semi revive some of my crusty dusty splatoon ocs from when I was like 12, so here’s all of the goobers! Meet Cherry (she/her), Slosh (he/they), Egg (they/them), and Blast (she/they)
#keese draws#splatoon#splatoon oc#inkling#inkling oc#octoling#octoling oc#since they were from me being like 12 I. barely remember anything abt them.#I remember the most abt cherry and slosh but that basically amounts to their names and gender#the other two I only rember existing through vibes lol#anyways! I am never drawing splatoon weapons again! holy shit that fucking sucked!#on the bright side I got to mess around a bit with some hair style concepts I’ve been rotating in my head#also I’m still working on giving these guys an updated story but my basic idea is that they’re a professional tower control team that has#been facing some conflicts as of late due to them all getting old enough to start having aspirations outside of their team#cherry is from the domes but her parents left with her when she was around 10#blast went to the same school as her and the two became pretty close friends as selective mute buddies#then at some point cherry caught wind of this cool new sport called tower control and was like woahhh I wanna do that#so she just went up to the first person near the battle lobby she could find and was like hey how do I join?#and he got super excited since he has a reputation for being incapable of shutting up so someone willing coming up to him came as a shock#they showed her where to get weapons and how to join battles and the two became battle buddies real quick#this lead to blast getting super worried and anxious as she didn’t want to see her only friend get hurt or stolen from her#at which point cherry was like oh I know! why don’t you come battle with us?#and blast was like wait wait wait no what if I die and dont come back and then die again :[#they managed to come to a compromise for a while tho and eventually blast was able to just barely squish past her fear enough to start#being kind of interested in tower control as she had started watching the other two play#and while she was still anxious abt the idea eventually she sheepishly admitted she wanted to give it a try#and she ended up really liking it! so the three kept playing together#and eventually they started to feel more and more like an actual team and egg noticed#they had been scouting a team to join for a lil while now and after getting to play with the three quite a few times and getting on friendly#terms with them they were like hey what if we became like an actual team who do tournaments and stuff
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tacit-semantics · 1 month ago
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Really don’t want to quit my job but like I need to quit my job
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discjude · 2 days ago
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Rereading any of the multiple parts of TCY where Japeth is just. actually going insane and being a loser feels like this sometimes. yknow what i mean bro was STRUGGLING
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carsickcrow · 1 month ago
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the future is really freaking me out i don’t know how i’m supposed to be in college in a year that’s so freaking scary. but! thinking about the concept of riding the bus or other form of public transportation. 👍 i can’t drive nor have i made any effort to learn how to and i am turning 18 in. 4 months and 10 days. so. y’know. i gotta love walking and buses and the like. and i do i think (i can listen to my music :). )
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cerealmonster15 · 6 months ago
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bad dream….. again…….
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nauticalfools · 2 months ago
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hannie-dul-set · 11 months ago
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Don't feel bad for being a fanfic elitist, trying to read something that has your writing icks, it just isn't worth it. I read long fics and smaus, and nothing gets me to stop reading quicker than text talk in an actual fic, putting u instead of you and r instead of are, unless it's an smau just no. It also gets me when they have to specify everything about the main character instead of just leaving it ambiguous, not everyone is a petite small 5'1 pale skinned girl with long blonde hair and dazzling green eyes; as a writer myself, I never specify the main character, and if I do it's usually the gender and that's only it's a crucial part of the plot, since that is one of quickest ways most people will drop a story. I sometimes just find the lack inclusivity just ridiculous, like it's not that hard to write a gender neutral and/or race neutral character. What gets me even worst than a lack of inclusivity, if a false sense of a inclusivity. I have seen fics where they tried to write the main character as a person of color, and even I a white person can tell they did no research. Like no you can't run your hand through 4c hair, don't use food to refer to their skintones, like you wouldn't call a white person milk so why are we saying their skin was the shade of caramel and as dark as dark chocolate, adding common cultural stereotypes isn't being divsere and inclusive, and so many others.
so well said, anon!!! i try to be understanding really when using ulzzang pics/kpop face claims as the reader when they're supposed to be reader inserts bcs when i returned to tumblr earlier this year, i noticed that a lot of the writer population has become relatively young compared to like a year or two ago. so i'm hoping they'd learn and do better.
i myself mostly write gendered fics esp when theyr're longer, and most of the time i indicate the reader's age as well, but so long as you indicate these exclusivities in the tags of ur fic, i think that's completely fine!!! just don't mislead people and say "x reader" generally but.....the pfp is a korean girl from pinterest and the you read to find that the reader is drowning in insert kpop idol's clothes.
i have these same issues in my older fics, and sometimes i may slip up here and there (and wehn i do pls don't hesitate to point it out) but again echoing what anon said that it's not that hard to write inclusive fics, so let me link @thepixelelf's guides and discussions on inclusivity bcs she talks about it better than me.
inclusivity in fanfiction. how to make smaus more inclusive.
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