#finally something from a different perspective

[twilightofthesandwiches]

Man, this is such an interesting exchange, cause, like… in most stories, when a character says they'd like things to go on forever, that they want something eternal, they're pretty much setting themselves up for a very rude awakening. You know, nothing lasts forever, sometimes you have to learn how to let go, sometimes you need to move on. I mean, that's one of the core themes of Undertale.

Flowey/Asriel's whole motivation in the Pacifist Route is to make the Game go on forever, to put the ending eternally out of reach, to trap Frisk in an infinite time loop because he just can't move on from Chara's death.

Part of the narrative is that if the Player RESETs a Pacifist Route then they are no better than he was, since now they are also yanking everyone away from their Happy Ending so that we can play with them again, because we can't accept the game has Ended. The Murder Route is less focused on that whole theme but you replay it over and over again Chara will basically call you a weirdo for your obsessive clinginess to this world.

Part of Undertale's themes is the importance of an Ending to a story. A True Pacifist Player's true and final act of selflessness is to let go of their desire have things keep going for forever, to give up on Eternity… for the sake of the happiness of every other character in this world, for the sake of their Happy Ending.

On the other hand, as a Wise Dog once said…

Both Undertale and Deltarune love exploring the ways in which the world of a game is different or similar to the real world, how the perspective of a Player is so different from the perspective of an actual character living in this world and... Real Life doesn't have a clear set ending.

The Player is the only one from whom the story just ended. Everyone else just kept living their stories of friendship together, although they probably never experienced something as high-stakes as the events of 'Undertale' ever again. And... when endings do seem to come, they're not going to be as clear-cut and satisfying and clearly communicated as the Game Ending is to the Player.

…But on the other other hand, it is still true that some things in life do end and we do have to accept that. Like… you know, the most famous Ending in life… is Death.

Gerson hears Susie talk about how she wants things to go on forever, but he already decided he has no interest in Eternity himself. He knows that the Three Heroes are here to seal the Fountains that revived him, he knows that when they succeed he'd go back to being a dust-covered hammer, probably never to be revived again and… he's perfectly at peace with that. He's an old man who died from natural causes, he had a long, full and satisfying life, he already had his ending. What's happening now is some weird glorified epilogue, but he knows it will end soon. And that's fine by him, because the time for his story has ended.

He does have one major regret in life, his failure to properly support his son's writing, and he spends all of the time the Dark has given him to try and make up for it. But it's really just a matter of asking Susie to deliver his message. He doesn't try to maintain or expand the Dark World so he could make up for his mistakes or try to pull Alvin in so he could meet him again or find a way to come back to life in the Light World somehow… I wonder if Someone was expecting him to do something like that and that's why they tried to give him that Shadow Crystal, but we all know that didn't work

In a way… we've already seen Susie's rude awakening for her desire for a 'forever'. She formed such a powerful bond with "the Old Man", she definitely would've wanted their time together to last longer, to last as long as it could, to last forever. But that's not possible.

And even his appearance in the Third Sanctuary was kind of a surprise stroke of luck that shouldn't be taken for granted.

The whole point of the Second Sanctuary is that Susie realized that Gerson was dead in the Light World, and trying to cope with this idea, went straight to a kind of denial.

Well, she can just pop over to the Dark World and, like, ask him what the Door Code is, right? No big deal! I mean, it's not exactly like Susie and Kris were really at a dead-end, there were plenty of areas in the Church they haven't checked thoroughly at all (not just the Fire Extinguisher)…

It wasn't because she HAD to do it for the Door Code, it's because she had to do it to reassure herself that her new friend isn't really gone, that maybe he'll be there waiting for her in his study if she just High-Key Stab Reality and Unleash the Flow of Pure Darkness Energy…

But it wasn't that simple. At best you can say his appearance in the Third Sanctuary means that he can manifest in any Church Dark World created by the Knight… but seeing how Susie's whole goal at the moment is to stop the Knight from making more Dark Fountains, that's not exactly increasing her chances to see the Old Man again.

When they go to seal the Fountain, Susie muses about her 'stupid dream' that things will just… stay the same. That she'll keep having fun Dark World adventures with her friends through eternity. But she knows that although Kris fully understands her, that's not what's going to happen. It's both about how the stakes and seriousness of the story have been so overtly raised for her, the Knight and the Titans aren't just an ominous background detail. She has fought them both. But it's also because she is already experiencing an Ending right now. She knows that when Kris seals this Fountain, she will probably never see Gerson again.

…But despite all of that, I don't think the narrative completely rebuke Susie's desire for Eternity. After all, Gerson heard her say that, fully knowing his own fate, and he mostly seemed intrigued? It doesn't seem to waver his belief that she's the one who should be writing the story, that he could count on her to defy fate in the name of Justice. Y'know, Susie wasn't really thinking of the Inevitability of Death at that moment, she was just thinking that… she would like to keep having fun adventures with her friends in perpetuity. And is that such a bad thing to wish for?

I mean, just because something was a theme in Undertale doesn't mean that Deltarune can't use Susie to drive home the point of 'well, yeah, you're not wrong, but it's a bit more nuanced than that", there's precedence, in fact.

I'm thinking about, like, the Tenna storyline in Chapter 3. That was also about someone who needs to move on, Tenna is clinging to his happier past in unhealthy way and wants the fun of his game show to last forever. He also wanted his own version of Eternity. But the game still draws a contrast between Ralsei, who just tells him to remember the happy times and accept that everything ends, including his use

And Susie, who is the one who rejects this mindset. Her solution still has some level of moving on and accepting that the Dreemurr-Holiday Family Unit has ended, but that doesn't mean he's just got to lay down and accept that his whole life is over. She comes up with a plan that ensures the continuation of his life and his dreams. It's an Ending of sorts, but an Ending that has a continuation attached to it. And it came specifically from Susie's distaste for endings, from her aggressive rejection of going gently into that good night.

There are certain things, certain endings, we all have to accept, but there is also so much that is worth rebelling against, that is worth fighting for. Susie's desire for an 'Eternity' might be a bit oversimplistic, but it is also the source of her rebellious spirit, out-of-the-box-thinking and the shining hope that Gerson sees in her. So I don't think the story will dismiss it outright, we really just have to wait and see just how much of that 'Eternity' Susie will manage to keep...

[offbeatbuckley]

rewatching 7x05 and i just. when buck comes out and eddie says "this doesn't change anything between us," it's so clear from buck's face that his feelings are a mixture of weirdhurtconfusion and not the relief he should be feeling about finally coming out to his best friend. but ultimately it reinforces what he's known about eddie for as long as they've known each other: eddie is straight. buck coming out doesn't change anything for eddie because eddie's sexuality won't fluctuate on the basis of buck's attraction to men. eddie's straight; buck's sexuality won't change that.

meanwhile, eddie's seeing it as, oh my best friend just came out to me and i want to show him that i love and support him unconditionally, and he's going through his own weirdhurtconfused feelings, so he says the first thing that pops into his head (which unintentionally sounds like i just want to be friends). so. now there's a distinction. eddie isn't buck's best friend; he's buck's straight best friend. and it's not like he particularly cares about being assigned that unspoken label, but also, it's literally not even unspoken. both eddie and buck make a concerted effort to call eddie straight the entirety of s8, which isn't something they cared to do before buck came out.

so eddie's perspective isn't i'm straight as much as it is i have to be straight, because buck isn't, and he knows what it's like to love a man, so he knows the difference, and he isn't different with me. what i'm feeling for buck has to be normal, because buck is with another man. if it wasn't normal, he would be with me.

and so it's a cycle. to buck, eddie's straight, so there's no reason to be in love with him. but to eddie, buck isn't in love with him, so there's no reason for him not to be straight.

[suigenerisisadiva]

Zombieboy - Jason Todd x Detective!Reader

Pairing: Jason Todd x Detective!GCPD!Reader + Dick Grayson x Platonic!Reader

Summary: When Jason's down in the dumps, brooding for longer than he normally is, you take it upon yourself to make him feel better with your favourite artist, after all justice doesn't wait! Inspired by Zombieboy by Lady Gaga!

CW: Making out, Lady Gaga, Swearing

A/N: Requested by my pookie @gothicbatgirl, a lil present for you ml 🫶

This is a part 2 to my Halfway Between You & Justice fic! Read it here!

"Hey do you think you could check on Jason for me?" Dick asked softly.

"Why what's wrong?" You asked.

"He's... something's getting to him, and I don't wanna pry, I think he's kind of sick of me, so... I thought you could try maybe?" Dick responded.

Huh, you thought.

Dick wasn't wrong

Jason's been moodier than normal. He wasn't snapping back at you as often, he was grinding arms more at the gym, with his sets being longer (I'm embracing my love for beefy arms in this one gang) his sassiness dwindled and his hair ironically got flatter.

Jason hadn’t said much for two days.

Which wasn’t unusual , especially when Gotham had him in a chokehold , but this was the full-blown Jason Todd Radio Silence Deluxe Edition - hoodie up, jaw tense, earbuds in but no music playing, staring at a wall like it owed him money.

You’d given him space. Then tried small talk. Then food (You were really surprised Big Belly Burger didn't work) Then left a Post-it on his helmet that said “emotionally constipated” with a little drawing of a zombie.

Nothing.

You figured, you needed to look at whatever you currently had going on with Jason from a lover perspective, and not a detective perspective.

So tonight, when you walked into his apartment and found him slouched on the couch with the same blank stare, you decided it was time for a different tactic.

Without a word, you pulled out your phone. Tapped your Bluetooth speaker.

The first few notes of Lady Gaga’s “Zombieboy” filled the apartment, dramatic, pulsing, unapologetically theatrical.

Jason didn't move.

You, however, launched straight into a performance.

"Oh, I can't see straight and my hands are tied I could be your type from your zombie bite No, I can't see straight but the feeling's right I could be your type from your zombie bitе"

You spun. Flung your jacket to the floor. Did a full-body sway in front of him like you were auditioning for Gotham’s Most Unhinged Cabaret. You even snatched a whisk from the kitchen counter as a microphone.

Still nothing.

But you saw it , the twitch in his lip. The smallest raise of one eyebrow.

Target acquired.

You climbed up onto the coffee table mid-chorus, arms wide, stomping to the beat like you were Lady Gaga herself in crime-scene heels.

Jason snorted. Loud. He tried to cover it with a cough. Failed miserably.

You dropped to your knees in front of him.

He finally looked at you, a real grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Are you done?” he asked, voice hoarse with laughter.

“Never,” you said proudly. “Not until my Zombieboy smiles.”

Jason leaned forward, elbows on his knees, expression soft in a way he only gave you when he forgot to be tough. “You’re such a menace.”

You booped his nose. “And you’re my favorite emotionally unavailable corpse.”

He rolled his eyes , but he pulled you into his lap anyway, arms around your waist, head buried in your shoulder.

You could feel him smiling against your hoodie.

Later that night, you changed his contact name in your phone to my Zombieboy 🖤

And when he noticed?

He didn’t change it back.

Hope you all enjoyed this! Likes, comments, reblogs and requests are highly appreciated! Requests are open!

Sources! -

Dividers - @enchanthings @anitalenia @sister-lucifer

Icon Header - @mieczyslawn

Property of suigenerisisadiva, do not repost my work pls & ty

[archiepudding]

Estranged Until You [Chapter 2]

Pairing: Oikawa x Fem!Reader (Minors do not interact)

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, accidental pregnancy, swearing, mummy-issues, mentions of abortion

Summary: It’s been six years, and you finally come face to face with the man who changed your life forever.

Word count: 2.9k

Ushijima put up no resistance when you asked him to take Hoshi out; he just grabbed his coat and called for him. You had already politely asked Oikawa to wait in the kitchen, away from your son and out of sight. Hoshi wasn’t always the most observant kid, and you were sure the only time he had any type of awareness was when he was doing some kind of sport, but he always seemed to notice the things you didn’t want him to and you weren’t ready to explain why someone he’d never seen before was there. 

Especially his father.

And especially not when lying about it might bite you on the ass. 

Hoshi bounded down the hallway, and Ushijima met him at the door. Your well-practised routine of leaving the house together in motion. Little fuss. Ushijima opened the door and stepped out with Hoshi, giving you a subtle smile before shutting it behind them. 

You showed Oikawa to the living room and gestured to the sofa, clearly trying to sit as far away as he physically could, he seated himself at the end. You sat at the other and not a single word was spoken. 

Five minutes. 

Ten. 

You glanced at him, his posture pinpoint, hands slightly rubbing at his thighs as his eyes fixated somewhere in front of him. 

“Do you want a drink?” You finally asked.

“No.” He still didn’t look at you.

You exhaled through your nose. “Are you going to say something, or just keep staring at the wall?”

He blinked, then looked down at his hands. “So… he’s really mine?”

“Yeah.”

He shook his head slowly. “Jesus, Y/N. We agreed –”

“I know.”

Finally, he looked at you. It wasn’t fully but enough to see the frustration. “You looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘everything’s sorted.’”

You inhaled shakily. You knew it was a lie back then, but there was nothing else that could have been said. Still, the reminiscence hit a bruised spot, one you thought had healed until it was pressed.

“I did,” you said, your voice low. “Because you made it clear what you wanted.”

He let out a sharp laugh, not amused. “And then you just disappeared. Six years. Six fucking years, Y/N.”

“I didn’t disappear,” you said quietly. “You just didn’t come looking.”

“I was –”

His mouth remained parted like he wanted to finish the sentence but wasn’t quite sure where the end of it was. It wasn’t a secret what he was doing; he was living the dream he followed. 

“In another country?” you finished curtly. 

Another silence fell between you. 

“Yeah.” You added.  “I know.”

He sat back, jaw clenched. “You decided all of this without me.”

You turned to him fully now, tired of the guilt bubbling in your chest like you were the villain of the story, and you were tired of the narrative before he could even get started. 

“You decided first.”

He stared at you, eyes narrowed like you were reading from a completely different book, like the truth you’ve been living for the past six years was wrong. But it was the truth. 

“You said you wanted the abortion,” you said, voice firm. “That it wasn’t the right time. That it’d ruin everything. That was about your dreams. Not mine. You left for Argentina. You said you didn’t have the time, we were too young, that it would put everything on hold.”

You swallowed harshly, taking a moment. 

Oikawa was wrong about a lot, but he was right about one thing. You were young and terrified. Both of you. It took you a long time to understand that from his perspective. He panicked - what nineteen-year-old boy wouldn’t? But just because you learned to understand it, it didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt, and it certainly didn’t mean it didn’t leave a lasting mark. 

“It wasn’t just about me,” he shot back. “You were always saying ‘no distractions.’ Finish school, get your degree, start a career. Remember?”

You scoffed. “I wasn’t even studying what I wanted, Oikawa. That was my mum’s dream. Again, not mine. And getting pregnant... it forced me to see that. For once, I had to think about me.”

For a long time, you lived inside the outline your mother had drawn for you, terrified to smudge the edges even a little. Her expectations were her way of keeping you safe; you understood that, but the guidelines slowly became a noose that tightened with every decision. How you talked, how you dressed, how you spent your money, what you studied, every decision felt like you were one step away from it tightening for good.

But the pregnancy severed all that.

At first, you thought you would be ok, but just as the rope had kept you from deviating, it had also kept you from falling. Without it, you fell hard and fast. Your finances were a mess, every purchase - food, nappies, formula - posed a new question - 

Will you be able to afford rent? 

Would your card decline?

Can you afford all three, or would you have to go without?

Hard was an understatement, but as your father would tell you, only diamonds could be made under pressure; it didn’t solve anything, but it allowed you to smile through some pretty difficult times.

He stared at the floor. “And I was just supposed to know that somehow?”

Your anger softened at that because he didn’t. You’d never told him how lost you felt, you never got the chance to, and your relationship with your mum? Well, that was always a private thing for you.

There were only small moments you brought her up, mostly in self-deprecating jokes when you felt overwhelmed. But that was a part of yourself you kept locked away. What you had together wasn’t a relationship. It was a convenient thing; it wasn’t there for the late-night tears or worries that stretched beyond the average stressful day. So you never spoke about your mum. Not properly, and Oikawa never asked. 

“No.” You said. “You weren’t. I didn’t even know it myself until I decided to keep him.”

“You called him Hoshi?”

A warm smile came to your face. “Yeah.”

“Does he… know about me?”

“No,” you paused. It was a question you knew you might have to answer sometime in the future, but everything you went to say felt wrong suddenly. “He knows he has dad, but he also knows he has a mum that loves him very much, and that’s enough right now.”

It was, but only for now. You built a world for Hoshi the best you could. He had your attention, your love and protection; if there was something he needed, you were happy to provide it the best you could.

He nodded slowly, and for the first time since he walked in, his eyes met yours. Glossy, like the tears were trying to hold back until they had permission to fall. “You should’ve told me.”

Your heart sank a little deeper.

The space between you and Oikawa felt eerily familiar, an exact image of the last night you saw him before everything changed. That horrible distance in the room, too close to escape but too far to feel anything but alone. The only difference?

You didn’t want him to hold you.

Back then, you would’ve given anything for it, to be pulled close so it all felt okay again, and that version of you, the one who secretly dreamed of a happy ending, locked herself away a long time ago. But in moments like this, you knew she was still there, and it seemed no amount of time would silence that quiet ache.

There was a silence that said everything words couldn’t. You could feel the ache in your chest, a familiar one you carried alone for years. A part of you wanted to comfort him. He sounded genuinely upset. 

But another part, the one that sat up all night alone when Hoshi had a fever, or cried in the car after buying him new shoes when yours felt like you were walking barefoot, that part felt like maybe he should sit with that pain. He left, but you didn’t run after him.

“I guess I understand now,” he said,  “Why you stopped answering my calls or messages when I did reach out.”

“I’m sorry, I just –”

“Couldn’t face it?” 

You nodded, and he did too. “Trust me. I get it.”

He stood, rubbing the back of his neck. “Um… Iwaizumi told me his birthday.”

Your stomach dropped.

You already knew where this was going.

“I called you,” he said, “a week after that.”

Your chest tightened. “I… I don’t think it was that soon—”

“Please.” His tone sharpened. “I worked it out. He was born exactly one week before your birthday and I called you the night before it.”

You looked away, and your eyes started to sting.

You remembered the call.

You remembered almost telling him. 

And you remember choosing not to.

The guilt hit hard and deep in your ribs. At the time, you thought you were doing the right thing. You were protecting Hoshi. You told yourself that bringing Oikawa into it would only complicate everything, that it would hurt your son more than help. 

But underneath that belief, there had always been something simmering.

You were angry. 

You had been told that the best thing was to abort him. That Hoshi would ruin your life. That he’d hold you back. And yet... Hoshi was your life. The best part of it. He saved you. Gave you purpose. Loved you unconditionally when you didn’t even know how to love yourself.

“You didn’t want him,” you said, your voice shaking but sharp. “You wanted your career. You wanted the spotlight, the travel, the freedom. You didn’t want us. And I’m not going to feel guilty for protecting him from that.”

Oikawa flinched like you’d slapped him. “Y/N… I came back. For you.”

Your mind went blank.

“Do you not remember?” His voice cracked. “I cancelled on Iwaizumi. I pulled my shit together and came back the next day. I know I was a complete asshole at first but I was a kid. We were kids, and we also agreed. You told me everything was sorted, and then you dipped out of my life like I meant nothing.” 

He exhaled shakily, dragging a hand through his hair as he paced. “You didn’t just shut the door. You fucking locked it Y/n and bolted in the other direction.”

You shook your head. “You called when it was convenient. You checked in, but not often. Sometimes you’d answer when I called, sometimes you’d disappear for weeks before even sending me a text.”

Oikawa stopped pacing, and looked at you - really looked. His face wasn’t angry anymore, but his eyes… his eyes were broken. Like he was stood at the grave of a life he could have had, a kid he’d never known. 

“I was scared,” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. “Not just about becoming a dad…or what would happen with my career. I was fucking terrified of you.”

A sharp pain tugged on your insides. “Me?”

“You weren’t supposed to matter, not like that. But you did. You always did and I thought I had it all under control. All planned out. But I didn’t. So I ran and after I got settled in Argentina, I told myself that you just needed some time, we’d figure it out. But then…”

You felt your throat tighten around the words. “I stopped answering.”

He gave a slow nod.

You blinked against the burn in your eyes. “You kept saying we were having fun.”

“I lied.”

The silence that followed felt deafening. You hated the way something in you stirred at his confession. How that younger version of yourself clawed her way to the surface. It forced your heart to sink like a stone in your chest. You convinced yourself for a long time that you were alone with the feeling, but you were wrong. It might not have been in the same way but he cared for you then. 

You stood slowly, your body moving before your mind could decide and your voice was barely above a whisper. “And if I had told you that night… would you have come back?”

“I don’t know.” He said. “Maybe. But not for the right reasons.”

There was a silent understanding. It wasn’t an answer you hoped for, in a way it was worse than the reality. If he had come back for pure obligation or worse out of guilt, eventually he would have resented you. Or worse, he would have resent Hoshi.

The thought twisted your insides. You folded your arms tightly and pressed them into yourself hoping to hold yourself together. You blood ran cold as a question hung heavy on your mind and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from asking it.

“Then why are you here now?”

The question lingered. He took a step forward, and you looked up at him. No longer hiding but hesitant if you truly wanted the answer.

“I –”

A ringtone cut him off. You turned, muscle memory kicking in. Ushijima’s ringtone. You’d changed it months ago, so you’d always know when it was him.

“Everything okay?” you asked, your voice more assertive already.

You glanced behind you, Oikawa turned away, seemingly to escape your gaze, but completely missing the dark TV screen. It looked like he was trying to compose himself; his chin was tilted up slightly, hoping gravity would work in his favour as his eyes fluttered at a rapid pace. Time had hardened his features a little. The boyish charm he once wore was now traded for something more mature. There was certainly a quiet confidence, one that had grown with him throughout his travels, though you knew without a doubt that the old Oikawa was still in there.

“Hoshi’s bedtime is in fifteen minutes,” Ushijima said calmly. “Do you need more time or—”

You turned back to Oikawa, who was already stepping towards the door. “I think it’s best if I go.” 

You nodded, following it with a smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes.

“No, we’re done.”

Ushijima hummed in response and hung up.

Everything felt off-centred, like you’d stepped into a recurring dream where one small thing would change slightly every time. You’d always imagined this moment would come to pass, but not before Hoshi asked. Hell, not before the poor boy even got fully curious about his father. 

You followed Oikawa slowly to the door, your steps dragging behind his. The silence stretched too far and had completely overstayed its welcome. You couldn’t help but replay everything, wondering if things could have been different, maybe if you had done things differently, or him. Maybe if he’d acted more mature and listened to you, maybe things could have been different. Maybe…. Well, life doesn’t run on fucking maybe’s Y/n. 

He crouched to change his shoes, you both still not saying a word to each other. You didn’t want to speak first, to be the one to hand out an olive branch. Not this time. He was the one who left, not just you but Hoshi as well. And yet, your chest felt full. Like all the hurt and resentment you had built up over the years, had been released. Not at him, but inward.

It felt beyond unfair; you had every right to be angry.

He left for fucksake!

He left. 

Why did you have to keep reminding yourself of that?

Your eyes drifted over him, Oikawa’s fingers lingered, the laces of his shoes still in two loops like he’d forgotten how to tie them, and you had to stop yourself from stepping in. That mother instinct almost took over instantly. The delay from him was obvious, but the reason for it wasn’t.

He was born a week before your birthday and I called you the night before it.

You sighed. “Toru, I–”

Your throat tightened with the memory, forcing the words to stop just like they had that night. Oikawa rose slowly. He still hadn’t said anything, but now he was looking at you, like you were transparent, but not invisible. Like he could see straight through the armour you’d taken years to build, and he wasn’t scared or disgusted with what he saw. Your stomach twisted, while your fingers twitched at your side, wanting to reach for something. 

And then, the door burst open.

“AAAHHHH I BEAT YOUUU!!”

Hoshi bolted inside, his cheeks were flushed, and his hair was completely windswept. The silence was finally shattered into nothing, but that moment with Oikawa was still clung heavy on your shoulders.

“Technically, I let you win,” Ushijima followed calmly a few seconds after, a small lopsided smile tugging at his lips as he closed the door behind them.  

“TECHNICALLY doesn’t count,” Hoshi yelled, already charging toward the living room.

Oikawa stepped back instinctively, eyes wide as Hoshi passed within inches of him, blissfully unaware.

“Indoor voice, please, sweetie.”

“Sowryyyyy.”

You caught Oikawa’s expression, startled at a door almost knocking him flying but also in awe.

That was the moment when he saw him and something in Oikawa’s face changed. But just as if Hoshi never interrupted, he said nothing. He just looked at you, gave a soft nod, and quietly slipped out the door.

You didn’t stop him.

But it didn’t close all the way.

His voice was quiet. “Do you think we could-” he paused, pushing himself back into view. “Can we exchange numbers?”

You shook your head, widening your eyes.

“I’m not asking for anything right now. I just…” He swallowed hard. “I would like to stay in touch and maybe - when you are ready - we can talk again?”

“I…” You hesitated, releasing a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding. “I would like that.”

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Taglist:

@goldenfawnwriting, @miiikooooooo, @babu50t, @fijiwaterbottle

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

[night-market-if]

I’m neurodivergent, so please do accept my apologies in advance if I don’t get the tone of my message right:

I’ve been a long time follower, and I’m always interested in reading your perspective on everyone’s comments.

I do agree that as protagonists go, the NM is (so far) one of the more passive I’ve encountered. I think that, in part, this can be chalked up to their initial circumstances, and the focus on establishing other characters, but there is definitely some fatigue on the side of IF/ VN players when it comes to blank slate MCs, which I do sympathise with. So often their sole purpose seems to serve as a passive, forgiving, and empathetic lens through which we explore other characters, and I myself am very wary of MCs that are “soft-feminine” coded, especially when there is no recourse to express your anger or be cold, tactical, assertive etc. As a female player, having your options stripped down like this can get tiresome very quickly, and at its worst, those types of characters can have an unpleasant, conservative/ misogynistic flavour to them. I’d sooner rip my own skin off than read one more game in which I’m forced into the role of another emotionally unguarded, awestruck MC who forgives all transgressions with a smile.

Although understandable, it’s also unfortunate that many authors tend to shy away from assigning traits that they fear will make MCs “unlikeable”, unknowingly stripping them of what, in my mind, often makes a living, breathing, loveable individual.

I’m not a fan of destined heroes or easy wins, the most memorable protagonists imo tend to be those that struggle, those who are in possession of a “spark” that they use to their advantage - an unhealthy obsession, cutting intelligence, dogged determination, an odd perspective - something that makes their personality compelling and uniquely suited to being the protagonist in a specific setting, whether they’re aware of it or not.

The NM in human form is such a unique concept, and I am very curious about what their character development will look like, and what their “spark” will turn out to be. That’s partly why I’m compelled to stick it out until the end, because this is their beginning, because they have so much potential, and because I have faith in the author.

Finally, I think the nature of game development is to constantly be in the unenviable position of seeking out feedback as you go, but I just wanted to give you props for engaging with people so readily, I know it can’t be easy - I myself would be a trembling ball of a raw nerve if I had to trawl through comments about my own writing. I want you to know that it is truly appreciated, and I hope you’ve drawn some value out of the miasma of voices on the internet.

So I think it is really interesting what you bring up which kind of goes back to what I've been saying before, that a lot of this is based on experience. You don't want to read more wide-eyed, passive and empathetic characters because of what you feel has dominated that market. I, on the other hand, would love to have more than that as opposed to the characters that are the over the top "I don't need anyone" kind of characters because I feel like the market has been oversaturated with that. And the idea that the ones that are empathetic and soft are 'feminine coded' is kind of something I would like to step away from because I think it does do a disservice to men who would like to see the world through those eyes. I love my big burly, romances with men but I also think that there is a lot of value to softer men. MC is a choosable gender and to say that things are feminine coded feels more like a social construct of our society than anything else.

In the end, I think we are both actually right on the oversaturation of different tropes so I can see where your frustration comes from. I think it all depends on what you've read and what your available books or media are.

Now, personally, I don't think I'm going in either direction with the MC. And I would love to assign more traits to the MC. I really really would. But, that's also something that is hard to code. What people do seem to forget when it comes to IF's is that we are solo developers having to write and code everything on our own. And for me, I do not work for Hosted or Choice of Games where they have an entire program set up to help with this. I actually have to teach myself coding through twine which if you are going in with no previous experience, is a difficult process. Each new path that is formed. Each new option that needs to come back later. Each personality trait. All of that is a different code to keep track of. A different box that has to be written in. And sometimes, a completely different chapter to write. So what might have been a 20k chapter suddenly turns into a 60k one because of all the choices and coding options. If I had a team working with me, I would LOVE to do this. It frustrates me that I can't. But, I am just one woman, working in between raising children, keeping a house, and having my own social life. It's not in the cards. But maybe one day. Fingers crossed that eventually, money and time will no longer be an issue.

[username0204]

Oh yes, the slow burn 🔥

But… I think it kinda should be the other way around, hear me out 🙏 I’m the biggest sucker for a painful slow burn and the definition of it is basically “omg just kiss already you idiots!!” - hence the audience needs to be aware of both sides of the story and get mad that the characters can’t see it themselves…

With Mike rejecting Will but keeping the tension and making people second-guess if he actually reciprocates the feelings we will basically have S4 on steroids and those set in stone about Mike being straight will cling onto any evidence of it. It’s great if we’re going for a plot-twist but it won’t “convert” those people to cheer for it and have the “god, fucking finally” moment we all strive for.

What if instead we are shown Mike’s perspective of the same plot described here? We see Mike’s internal struggles and Will’s defeated distance? Or Mike trying to reach him but Will is downplaying it and Mike doesn’t have enough courage to push through it? Mike’s “what did it all mean?” and Will’s “forget it, Mike…”?

As much as I love to suffer and have my heart broken 😅 I think it’s important to show that Mike does in fact have feelings for Will in order to make the audience root for them… the tension itself and Will’s sad eyes aren’t enough for it to happen, as we saw from S4 - it will only feed into the idea of Will being “the sad gay boy” and Mike being “an asshole” and people who hold those beliefs will only hate them more.

I think we need something different this time, some role-reversal instead of just putting the previous dynamic on drugs… plus it’d be interesting to see them from a different angle since it’s the last season aka the last chance to see Mike’s POV. I mean I’ll be fine with the plot-twist bc I’m actually already rooting for them and don’t need much Mike’s perspective in that case… but I think it’s the GA that needs to see it clearly for it to work out…

The odds that Mike rejects Will early in Season 5 (Byler analysis)

I put it above 50 percent.

Why? First, they need to drag out the tension and build-up a slow-burn romance. I think that Volume 1 will be setting-up a Byler culmination, and that Byler actually happens in Volume 2. The General Audience needs that gap between Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 to realize Byler is possible and speculate about it and cheer for it!

Second, if Mike has secretly been in love with Will but has held back his feelings because he thinks Will is straight, then the Painting Lie, once revealed, drives Mike too quickly into Will's arms (lol) and means there's no build-up.

Think about it: you realize that the love of your life is actually gay for you, too, made a very special painting for YOU, and said "I need you, and I ALWAYS WILL" while disguising it as your girlfriend's feelings. And he LOVED YOU SO MUCH that he sacrificed himself for YOU, so you could be in this relationship you're not happy in.

With the time jump -- which kind of has to happen at the start because the actors have aged -- it's hard to see the Painting Lie being revealed later than the first episode.

All these things together make me think Mike will "answer" Will's hidden love confession early in s5, and that HE WILL REJECT WILL. The reason being that Mike is IN THE CLOSET. It's the 1980s, the peak of the AIDS crisis, and the idea of being gay is terrifying to him.

It probably wouldn't be explicit. (It's hard to see Will confessing his love at this point.) Perhaps Will comes out to Mike, and suddenly we see Mike becoming more distant. He seems not fully comfortable with the situation: he seems to avoid Will, their interactions become awkward, etc. It would basically be Airport Hug Fail Part 2 Electric Boogaloo, but on a bigger scale.

And it will lead to rampant speculation by the General Audience. Therefore, it's PERFECT if you're writing this show and want to mess with people's heads. =D

Because much of the General Audience will think that this is Mike being straight and politely rejecting Will and not wanting to lead him on. But others who sense the romantic tension will see that it's actually romantic build-up.

It's a way to show that Byler is possible, keep people guessing, AND drag it out, the way any good slow-burn romance should. There are still many ways to build up Byler: perhaps Mike stands up to anti-gay bullies, or Vecna targets Will and Protector Mike gets activated.

Anyway, that's my prediction of what we'll see early in Season 5.

(Kinda funny how, as a Byler, I think that Mike rejects Will and that Will "dies." It's not only because I'm kind of a masochist... it just also makes sense from a writing standpoint. I expect nothing less than an emotional rollercoaster for my poor little gay heart, and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

-teambyler

[roots-symphony]

what's so interesting is that agatha and nicky clearly had their cons well-oiled, and at the end it seems they even started turning their song into a part of it as well, like i don't think that was the first time nicky sang that song for an audience and they used it to lure witches (i do think it's the first time that it /technically/ didn't work), and how after nicky died it continued to gain popularity and be so well-known it became a legend, and along with that agatha being known as the only survivor of the road and people (like billy) seeking her out to walk it or just for knowledge of it. and i think that had been the idea when they first started using it as a con. making it so they no longer had to travel and scavenge, using it as a lure to bring the witches to them in order to keep nicky alive, but only one small misstep and rio got him anyway

and then thinking about how lorna, who had a generational curse placed upon her family that is going to kill both her and her daughter and who desperately wants to see her daughter survive, heard this song and created her own version to use as a protection spell for her daughter and, like agatha did before her, she made her version so well-known and so popular that years and years after death it's still protecting her daughter, until ultimately her daughter was finally able to use it to break the curse and save herself

idk just.. they're like two sides of the same coin, or distorted mirrors of each other

agathas love was so powerful and so strong that death gave nicky time

lornas love was so powerful and so strong that the ballad gave alice time and even freed her

if nicky hadnt been taken that night, could it have eventually freed him as well? rio said agatha used the dark magic of the darkhold to hide herself from rio, so was that the end goal? they'd continue to lure witches to both keep nicky alive and to have agatha become powerful enough to forever keep them hidden?

[ryuladrawslove]

Love Pays no Indemnity by Jana Chapter 1 The Queen of Sausages and the Queen of the Mountain page 12

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[sexisbetteronthemoon]

@thepastelpop & @the-things-that-i-miss

Lance does not comment on this at any time! he does, however, notice. (emotexastoast beat me to answering, but i wanted to add a bit more.)

— Sex is Better On the Moon, chapter 2

this is the first, extremely subtle, time that Keith's reflective eyes are in play. given it's in his POV, you have to keep in mind that Keith's never known human eyesight bc he was born with those eyes. so while he sees very well, that's still his perspective. and even if the water is reflecting some light from the moon, Lance with his human/Altean eyes, should have some trouble meeting his gaze.

— Sex is Better On the Moon, chapter 9

this is the second time where Keith himself outright acknowledges this.

i may have written more instances, but these are the two i actually recall writing.

again, Keith is not aware that this is what people are reacting to. he assumes it's something he's doing wrong.

everyone is allowed and encouraged to feel bad for him.

@emotexastoast your over-analyzing paid off!

as per your request, and since this is a fic i'm still not certain of pursuing, i can give you the broad strokes! (↓ under read more ↓)

the thing about "pregnant lance joins voltron" is that it's two different fics.

it started off as a kinky thing in which Lance is a trans guy (pre-transition) in his final year at an all-girls catholic school he attends with the rest of the cast, except for Keith, who's graduated high school and visits to hang out with Pidge and be a pain in the ass for Shiro.

basically, Keith comes around one day, and Pidge isn't there bc reasons. the one who delivers the news is Lance, who is meeting Keith for the first time.

there's an instant attraction and they end up starting up an undefined situationship where they mess around and get off. but upon not receiving any indication from Lance that he wishes to pursue this relationship, Keith leaves to search for his mom and Lance ends up finding out he's pregnant with no way to contact Keith.

Lance, after moving to Arizona where his aunt lives, is on his way to a doctor's appointment, but ends up out in the desert bc of the call of the Blue Lion. he calls Pidge (bc she's his go-to for weird tech), who's gotten her way into the Blade (who have a very tiny base on Earth to protect the Blue Lion) after she started looking for Keith and found him.

they all end up at the Castle of Lions, as in canon, and Lance very much does not want to be there.

however!

i did not find the catholic school thing very appealing for this fic, and decided to change it to the garrison (with some other changes) to make it more canon compliant.

i've since separated the smut fic from the rest (and am in the process of rewriting the start of their whole situationship)

and rather than modern era, which the fic originally took place in, it's the futuristic era in which VLD takes place in, and perhaps Adam will be added to the cast, rather than Shiro. 

there's also a third version of this fic where instead of heading to Allura and the castle, they return to Earth after blowing up the Galra cruiser, but i nixed that one.

all said, i still haven't decided to really pursue this fic, given i haven't settled any of the details, and even the plot itself is up in the air. (i'm basically fucking around and finding out.)

if anything, i might do a one shot for it, with several snapshots of Lance being pregnant in space and living through canon events while he and everyone else scramble to keep him and baby safe. (meanwhile, Keith pines in the background bc of really dumb reasons, which will make sense (to him), but also dear lord someone bonk him on the head).

🎉🎉🎉

congratulations to @emotexastoast for guessing the second reason prospective dates fled from Keith in sibotm.

i should have probably figured out a prize or something..

do you want.. an excerpt from something specific? an answer to a question? a prompt fulfillment? anything else?

[witheredgardenparty]

Thinking about dangerous but pathetic men who become enamored with the idea of having a wife, but do not know what that means. In a world of heavy social conform, these men are so removed from traditional expectations and are so lonely, they can only think of wives as something to dote on. Their job as the husband is to make the wife happy, and the wife's job is to love them unconditionally. What is all this "gender roles" nonsense?

[charm-p]

Would you ever try making the original "angrier" version of Are You Happy In Paris, now you have more technical/producing knowledge? The 'stripped down' is nice, but GOD does that snippet of an original pissed off version hit some part of my brain

I have thought about releasing the original version in some format. I went back and listened to it recently and it wasn't as bad as I remember. There are definitely some elements I'd like to change. But if I were to release it, I would want to keep it as close to the original.

[lafoget]

ok ok the more i think about what kind of grand finale to gotham war would suit me, the more i want prodigal son 2.0. bruce goes off to heal his mind BC HE REALLY NEEDS A VACATION maybe with selina while tim and damian become batman & robin duo and eiko stays in town as catwoman

[imadhatt3r]

No video game series will ever piss me off more than p/ersona, because it has literally everything I love in fiction: A cast of characters where each one has a side story, hidden parts of their psyche, and harbors some kind of deep secret that tortures them every day? Character interaction in different scenarios? Exploration of different characters' psyches that look like personalized, abstract dungeons that you have to literally fight through? Exploring themes like innevability of death and different ways people cope with it or societal injustice? Tarot motifs? Use of Jung's psychological theories (which are BOGUS, but make for AMAZING addition to fictional stories)? Every element, including UI, is heavily and consistently stylized? Music that goes INSANELY hard???

Like this series should be like crack-infused catnip to me, but I just can't get into it bc Atlus always has to include something so tone-deaf and just downright DOGSHIT into these games (usually something relating to the dating system or pretty much anything relating to how they CONSISTENTLY potray queer people in their games) that I just cannot bring myself to seriously attempt to get into it 😔

[deus-ex-mona]

[tea-of-destiny]

*voice of a guy who all but disappeared over the last month because he's already got too much to do* you know what would be fun? if i did some kind of month-long drawing challenge during this end part of the year

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Winter Knight

slow-building urban fantasy mystery

reincarnated arthurian legends living in modern Vancouver

follows a gay autistic college student who’s the reincarnation of sir gawain who just wants to live a normal life

and a 30-something valkyrie woman

when a knight is murdered, she’s assigned to investigate, and he’s pulled into things after finding the body

m/m and pre-f/f (she is bi ace)