#fig yaps
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Hey, so for anyone thinking about starting T, I know there’s a lot of info and warnings about side effects to consider, but it also really helps to hear from actual trans folks too! It felt super intimidating to me when I started but it’s been great so far. I’ll share the changes I’ve seen after one month under the cut for anyone who is interested! (For reference I’m on the lowest dose of the gel)
First change I noticed was my smell! I wouldn’t say my BO is worse or anything, I just smell a lot different when I sweat and I do find myself sweating a bit more
Fat redistribution! It’s very subtle so far but my face is definitely changing. My cheeks are less round and my chin is a bit more defined. I can’t tell as much with the rest of my body bc I wasn’t that curvy to start with
On the note of fat redistribution, I’ve actually lost some weight. This is probably far more specific to me and genetic factors but it is something I’ve noticed.
Attraction. I’m still very much bisexual and into women and non-binary people, but my attraction to men has skyrocketed. Especially like big, burly, hairy men. That or femboys, there’s no inbetween lol.
In general starting to find masculine qualities a lot more desirable. Considering getting a packer which is not something I thought I would like before. I think the act of transitioning is allowing me to open my mind more to what I want.
Sex drive. Holy shit this is the biggest change. They are not joking about the T horniness. It can be quite distracting at times which is really the only downside I’ve experienced. Even still, I prefer how I feel now to how I did before.
Slightly more breakouts. They warned me about seeing acne in the first few months, but honestly I don’t feel like it’s been that bad. Plus it’s a little affirming because it means the hormones are working! Again this is one that’s probably specific to me
Assertiveness. I know they warn you about the potential of becoming more aggressive, but as my doctors told me, it’s actually more that you have a lower tolerance for bullshit. Obviously if you do become genuinely aggressive/very angry you should get your dose adjusted. But for me it’s just been making me slowly more assertive in a way I like. It does mean I occasionally have to hold my tongue about things so I don’t say something I’ll regret. But this has been a huge plus for me overall.
Mood/crying. I would say my mood has been better overall. Probably because I feel very affirmed in my gender as I start to change. I also have moved out of my parents’ place and am living on my own so I imagine that has helped too. I’ve heard some people say they can’t cry as much and I have experienced a bit of that. When I’m reading or watching something my eyes might well up but they don’t roll tears. The only time I’ve cried since I started on it was when I injured myself (unrelated) and had a panic attack. But I can’t say for sure if it’s the T or it’s just that I am happier and have better coping skills than I used to. I will say it’s not my immediate stress response anymore, but I don’t feel like my emotions are pent up or anything.
Voice. This one is hard to say for sure because I had a cold recently that opened up my chest register a little more. Any changes are very subtle so far but I do find my resting pitch seems lower than when I started (I’ve been trying to do those “this is my voice day x on T” videos to track it. I’m terrible at remembering)
Cycle. My period has been coming a bit later each month and the pain seems to be getting a bit less intense. Again this one will be very specific to the user.
Bottom growth. Only a very very small amount. I only noticed because I was watching for it. What I’ve experienced more so is increased sensitivity which I feel is a positive.
Most importantly: I’ve been very very happy! I get occasional dysphoria but oftentimes when I look in the mirror I just smile because I can see myself becoming who I want. I feel more confident, I feel hot, and I really truly love myself through each step of the journey.
Obviously there’s a lot to consider, but if you feel like it could be something you want to try and your health is in a place where you can do so, do it! I am lucky to have a great clinic working with me who were very informative (and helped me apply for coverage when I didn’t have insurance!). I’m happy to pass along any online resources they’ve sent me if anyone is interested. Remember, you can always stop if you decide it’s not right for you or you’ve achieved the changes you want to see. It’s a personal journey and it’s entirely up to you. I found it all overwhelming when I was first considering it and I wish I would have had more people to talk to about what it really feels like. Hopefully this can help demystify it for anyone who is curious about what it’s like. We all deserve to craft ourselves into the person we want to be. 🏳️⚧️
#transition#transgender#trans masc#testosterone#transition journey#one month on T#hopefully this is helpful to someone?#I personally like to know as much as possible before I make a decision#so I hope this will make the process seem less intimidating for anyone considering it#trans man#lgbtqia#fig yaps
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Emily Axford truly is a wonder. I can't help but fall in love with any character she plays because che is just so sincere and open in her approach.
She reaches so deep and she manages to transform so quickly in her character. It's really insane how she can go from pure chaos to the rawest most emotional moment in the blink of an eye and always feel so sincere and true to the character.
One of the things I love the most about her is how ready she is to interact and communicate with any other character. The way she asks questions and makes conversations happen and the moment she is called to the scene she will always answer readily and build on everything that is given to her.
I truly am in awe of her whenever I see her perform and I am also just utterly smitten with her.
#yapping time#i am a simple lesbian#and she is one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen ? and she is also smart and funny and so kind and sweet?!??#murph is fr the luckiest man alive like#emily axford#d20#dimension 20#ylfa snorgelsson#fig faeth#jet rocks#chirp featherfowl#sophia lee#fantasy high#the unsleeping city#acoc#acofaf#neverafter
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rip my wallet
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having insane thoughts about ayda aguefort again (she loses her memory every regeneration) (there’s a chunk of time where we don’t know how she lived her life) (garthy is the only one who cared for her in this lifetime) (now fig cares for her too) (what happens if ayda dies before fig) (fig taking care of newborn ayda as her child) (ayda and fig falling in love [parental] in every timeline)
i am totally normal about the relationships in fantasy high!
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fantasy high junior year#ayda aguefort#fig faeth#figueroth faeth#fig x ayda#yapping
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Sandra Lynn mentioned in the finale I won we won complicated women won
#fhjy spoilers#d20#fantasy high#fhjy#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#esme yaps#sandra lynn faeth#figeroth faeth#fig faeth
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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dialogue from season 3 episode 2
#fig faeth#fig fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#gorgug fantasy high#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#my art#my comics#trying to enter the world of comics#its. its fine. this is a fine comic#i have a gorgug and fabian one in the works#i like doing their full outfits at the end even though it doesnt matter#gorgug outgrew his pants#i hc that fig cut his hair once at the beginning of summer and it turned out a solid 4/10 so now hes just growing it out#gotta decide his hair length for sy. its short for fy#enough yapping thank youuu
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fig “maybe my god is kristen” faeth and riz “the only character who can take stress tokens for other characters” gukgak you mean the world to me.
#dimension 20#ouh my god like figs whole thing is just wanting to help#shoot me#shoot me now#aster yaps
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and welcome back to another episode of is this normal, is this a product of my competitiveass school, do i need a diagnosis, or do several of these apply?
#its late im doing physics its the first week of school what the fuck#well okay its just sig figs and linear regression and factor label method and shit. its just a lot#like mad late#im going to be seeing double all morning again#ughghhhhhh#school#i turned on some doja cat for the first time in a while tho she dropped a new album. p sure she had some discourse going on tho#theres a song on it that compares diamonds to piss and i remembered the sonic fandub. piss rock.#sounds decent tho#iguess#life is not kind to a serial procrastinator#oh but regardless of the doja cat fallout after like. paint the town red or wtv. still better than the jojo siwa rebrand.#so#ngl paint the town red wasnt even that bad idk what ppl were yapping about
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feeling like the biggest dickhead for reblogging all my writing onto this account whoops
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bro i was doing my chem edpuzzle and i literally picked the right answer and it said i was wrong
i literally went to google AND to a sig fig calculator thing on some website and it said i was correct 😭
die die die die die
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Transitioning is bringing me amazing gender euphoria but it’s also occurring to me that there’s something really lonely about it? Like, sometimes I’ll see stories about trans women coming out and the women in their life are really positive, offering to help them with makeup, pass on femme clothing, etc. Stories like that warm my heart. And sometimes I really wish I had that from the men around me.
It’s not that they aren’t accepting, they very much are. They’re trying to use my pronouns (except the old ones who are basically pretending they don’t know). But I still always feel like they see me as more similar to a woman than to themselves. Maybe it’s because I identify as nonbinary as opposed to being a trans man. But I am transitioning to look more masculine and all that entails. They hear me refer to myself as a boy/man all the time. I still know they’d never call me son/brother/etc. unless I specifically told them to, and even then it would be fumbling (it’s been multiple years at this point. They still slip up on a regular basis and call me she).
I know I need to be patient with people, that they probably don’t see the subtle changes the way I do. They’ve been referring to me one way for 20+ years. It’s going to take time to get out of that habit. I know too that when the time comes I can ask them about shaving my face and all that and they’ll be willing to help. I am accepted. I just often feel that I’m not seen. And that’s really hard. I want to have that feeling of a community rallying around me to help me as I create myself. But suddenly I’m not a woman anymore and I’m not a man either. And as much as it’s what I wanted, there are times where it feels really isolating.
#trans#transition#trans man#trans masc#nonbinary#afab nonbinary#not to get melancholy on main but…#it makes me a little sad#fig yaps#rambles
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Finished fantasy high s1 and it was sooo good.
The resolution to the parent kid relationships (with the exception of poor Kristen and Adaine) were so heartbreakingly wonderful and so fun.
I have to say that Fig understanding that her mom is a complex person and she is allowed to be imperfect hit hard. The way Emily's voice broke and she started crying because she was scared she was going to see her mom die broke my heart. And of course Fabian and his dad had such an insane and wonderful resolution and I was tearing up the whole time.
Insane finale for an insane season.
I cannot wait to start sophomore year so I can meet Ayda ngl.
#yapping time#dimension 20#dropout#fantasy high#d20#d20 fhfy#fig faeth#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring
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what if this is my fig tree
#fig tree#bell jar#depress#phoebe bridgers#phoebe bridgers stand#bed rot#bed rotting#self sabotage#me yapping#sad#female sadness#:(
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my fig tree is growing out of control please let me decide what i want to do with my life
#2014 aesthetic#tumblr girls#sylvia plath#fig tree#future#jobs#decisions are hard#bring back 2014#im just a girl#im just yapping#why is my brain like this#why is it so hard#yuck
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Also I like how willing vyncent and William were to go straight to torture. Like they did not hesitate at all.
#I mean yeah the ‘torture’ was pouring energy drinks on Doug#force feeding him fig newtons and reading him poetry but like. idc it counts#yapping#pdlb
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