#fig yaps

[infernal-house-demon]

Hey, so for anyone thinking about starting T, I know there’s a lot of info and warnings about side effects to consider, but it also really helps to hear from actual trans folks too! It felt super intimidating to me when I started but it’s been great so far. I’ll share the changes I’ve seen after one month under the cut for anyone who is interested! (For reference I’m on the lowest dose of the gel)

First change I noticed was my smell! I wouldn’t say my BO is worse or anything, I just smell a lot different when I sweat and I do find myself sweating a bit more

Fat redistribution! It’s very subtle so far but my face is definitely changing. My cheeks are less round and my chin is a bit more defined. I can’t tell as much with the rest of my body bc I wasn’t that curvy to start with

On the note of fat redistribution, I’ve actually lost some weight. This is probably far more specific to me and genetic factors but it is something I’ve noticed.

Attraction. I’m still very much bisexual and into women and non-binary people, but my attraction to men has skyrocketed. Especially like big, burly, hairy men. That or femboys, there’s no inbetween lol.

In general starting to find masculine qualities a lot more desirable. Considering getting a packer which is not something I thought I would like before. I think the act of transitioning is allowing me to open my mind more to what I want.

Sex drive. Holy shit this is the biggest change. They are not joking about the T horniness. It can be quite distracting at times which is really the only downside I’ve experienced. Even still, I prefer how I feel now to how I did before.

Slightly more breakouts. They warned me about seeing acne in the first few months, but honestly I don’t feel like it’s been that bad. Plus it’s a little affirming because it means the hormones are working! Again this is one that’s probably specific to me

Assertiveness. I know they warn you about the potential of becoming more aggressive, but as my doctors told me, it’s actually more that you have a lower tolerance for bullshit. Obviously if you do become genuinely aggressive/very angry you should get your dose adjusted. But for me it’s just been making me slowly more assertive in a way I like. It does mean I occasionally have to hold my tongue about things so I don’t say something I’ll regret. But this has been a huge plus for me overall.

Mood/crying. I would say my mood has been better overall. Probably because I feel very affirmed in my gender as I start to change. I also have moved out of my parents’ place and am living on my own so I imagine that has helped too. I’ve heard some people say they can’t cry as much and I have experienced a bit of that. When I’m reading or watching something my eyes might well up but they don’t roll tears. The only time I’ve cried since I started on it was when I injured myself (unrelated) and had a panic attack. But I can’t say for sure if it’s the T or it’s just that I am happier and have better coping skills than I used to. I will say it’s not my immediate stress response anymore, but I don’t feel like my emotions are pent up or anything.

Voice. This one is hard to say for sure because I had a cold recently that opened up my chest register a little more. Any changes are very subtle so far but I do find my resting pitch seems lower than when I started (I’ve been trying to do those “this is my voice day x on T” videos to track it. I’m terrible at remembering)

Cycle. My period has been coming a bit later each month and the pain seems to be getting a bit less intense. Again this one will be very specific to the user.

Bottom growth. Only a very very small amount. I only noticed because I was watching for it. What I’ve experienced more so is increased sensitivity which I feel is a positive.

Most importantly: I’ve been very very happy! I get occasional dysphoria but oftentimes when I look in the mirror I just smile because I can see myself becoming who I want. I feel more confident, I feel hot, and I really truly love myself through each step of the journey.

Obviously there’s a lot to consider, but if you feel like it could be something you want to try and your health is in a place where you can do so, do it! I am lucky to have a great clinic working with me who were very informative (and helped me apply for coverage when I didn’t have insurance!). I’m happy to pass along any online resources they’ve sent me if anyone is interested. Remember, you can always stop if you decide it’s not right for you or you’ve achieved the changes you want to see. It’s a personal journey and it’s entirely up to you. I found it all overwhelming when I was first considering it and I wish I would have had more people to talk to about what it really feels like. Hopefully this can help demystify it for anyone who is curious about what it’s like. We all deserve to craft ourselves into the person we want to be. 🏳️‍⚧️

[figisonline]

literally begging for soldier boy’s fingers in my mouth, like just needing him to get so huffy and annoyed cause i won’t stop talking. so he just stuffs ‘em in my mouth with a firm “shut up ‘n suck” with that smug fucking look on his face !!!!

[thelesbianluthor]

Rewatching Sophomore Year and I want to rip my hair out because what do you mean Fig desperately wanted to have healthy open relationships but kept falling into toxic habits and she got possessed and her guilt fed into her insecurities and made her spiral once again. And she didn't know that her and Ayda's love was already on its way through time and space since the dawn of time.

[orphetoon]

rip my wallet

[sunnyyflowerrs]

if only writing itafushi was a full time job

[ace-of-d1am0nds]

having insane thoughts about ayda aguefort again (she loses her memory every regeneration) (there’s a chunk of time where we don’t know how she lived her life) (garthy is the only one who cared for her in this lifetime) (now fig cares for her too) (what happens if ayda dies before fig) (fig taking care of newborn ayda as her child) (ayda and fig falling in love [parental] in every timeline)

i am totally normal about the relationships in fantasy high!

[esmeamesart]

Sandra Lynn mentioned in the finale I won we won complicated women won

[satorisoup]

people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

[hellion-child]

the little gap when a horse relaxes their face and their bottom lip hangs down

mentally i am here

[theodditylacey]

credit to @petalprincessxoxo for the idea

[soft-likethesunset]

my darling fig tree <3

[infernal-house-demon]

Transitioning is bringing me amazing gender euphoria but it’s also occurring to me that there’s something really lonely about it? Like, sometimes I’ll see stories about trans women coming out and the women in their life are really positive, offering to help them with makeup, pass on femme clothing, etc. Stories like that warm my heart. And sometimes I really wish I had that from the men around me.

It’s not that they aren’t accepting, they very much are. They’re trying to use my pronouns (except the old ones who are basically pretending they don’t know). But I still always feel like they see me as more similar to a woman than to themselves. Maybe it’s because I identify as nonbinary as opposed to being a trans man. But I am transitioning to look more masculine and all that entails. They hear me refer to myself as a boy/man all the time. I still know they’d never call me son/brother/etc. unless I specifically told them to, and even then it would be fumbling (it’s been multiple years at this point. They still slip up on a regular basis and call me she).

I know I need to be patient with people, that they probably don’t see the subtle changes the way I do. They’ve been referring to me one way for 20+ years. It’s going to take time to get out of that habit. I know too that when the time comes I can ask them about shaving my face and all that and they’ll be willing to help. I am accepted. I just often feel that I’m not seen. And that’s really hard. I want to have that feeling of a community rallying around me to help me as I create myself. But suddenly I’m not a woman anymore and I’m not a man either. And as much as it’s what I wanted, there are times where it feels really isolating.

[figisonline]

obsessed with the idea of making soldier boy a dad, letting him fuck a baby into you and giving him that loving mushy family bullshit he’s been dreaming of his whole life. away from vought. away from supes. just you, him and your kid together. happy.

[thelesbianluthor]

Emily Axford truly is a wonder. I can't help but fall in love with any character she plays because che is just so sincere and open in her approach.

She reaches so deep and she manages to transform so quickly in her character. It's really insane how she can go from pure chaos to the rawest most emotional moment in the blink of an eye and always feel so sincere and true to the character.

One of the things I love the most about her is how ready she is to interact and communicate with any other character. The way she asks questions and makes conversations happen and the moment she is called to the scene she will always answer readily and build on everything that is given to her.

I truly am in awe of her whenever I see her perform and I am also just utterly smitten with her.

[lockedoore]

dialogue from season 3 episode 2

[harcheongai]

fig “maybe my god is kristen” faeth and riz “the only character who can take stress tokens for other characters” gukgak you mean the world to me.