#esme yaps

[esmeamesart]

AELWYN WE'RE SO BACKKK COMPLICATED WOMEN PODCAST REUNION and we get plot hooks with their fuckass bitch mother we're so back abernant sisters you're everything

[morelikeravenbore]

🦋 Hogtober Day 2: Feldcroft.

Late night yaps on the lookout tower with Sebastian and Esme @sallowsangel

[thegamingcatmom]

I have a question! A few maybe? Depends how much I yap lol!

Okay so will we ever get a chance to see mc interact with the Cullens—including bella? I would like to see how she reacts to a completely different family of vampires, especially since she doesn’t know what they are.

And speaking of not known what they are, will she ever get a chance to find out? If so how would she react?! Im honestly so excited to see more, ever since I began reading I’ve been frothing at the mouth and checking your page daily(sorry if that sounds crazy)

I would really like to see how she would interact with each Cullen, especially Rosalie—how would Rosalie feel meeting another so called human pet:0

I also feel like her and Esme would get along perfectly, kind of like how Carmen is with mc! And Alice too, though her personality may be too much for mc?

Will mc also be inter-grated in personal affairs like family meetings and going to see the Volturi? Since im guessing mc will soon know what they are?

Also theres this tension between mc and tanya, will they ever get a chance to be romantic? If so how would that go for the first time? Since the Denali sisters are experienced with humans will it ever happen?

I think thats all for now! Cant wait to see more, this work is by far the most im invested in!

First of all: I love how lengthy your ask is! And I especially love that it´s allll about what may or may not happen in the deranged universe of The Sisters. Those are my fav kind of asks. THE SPECULATIONS, THE THEORIES. 😭

I do so love fangirling with yall. 🫶❤️‍🔥🫶

Okay so-

You´ll defo get a fat chance to see MC interacting with the Cullens - that includes Bella ofc. In fact, there´s a reason I put them in the tags of my story early on, even though their first appearance won´t be until much later.

The Cullens will play a rather big part in all of it, as MC meeting them will probs set some things in motion that may or may not impact the dynamic between her and her forced-found family (the Denalis). You´re absolutely correct that she has no idea another "variant" of whatever-they-are exists out there. A variant that she might even come to like because that variant seems somewhat sane, at least.

Their eyes are defo less haunting. That´s already a huge plus in her book...

MC will find out what they are for sure. She´s bound to, at some point. Tanya hasn´t taken her in just for shits and giggles. (Kate begs to differ.) Our coven leader very much plans on having MC stay with her them permanently, and there´s only one way to ensure that. You hearing bells too?

As for how MC´s gonna react when the bomb drops? Good question. 🤔

I will say this though: It´s not necessarily gonna be the Denalis who will spill the beans. 🫘

And can I just say I fucking LOVE that you mentioned Rosalie specifically?? Because yes, yes, yes, my girl will play a rather important part when it comes to MC and the Denalis indeed.

Yall remember THAT convo, right? Ofc you do. It´s the first "real talk" we get between Bella and Rose. It´s where Bella finds out the real reason why Rose seemingly can´t stand her. It´s because she envies her. For having the opportunity at a life she herself longs for. For having the choice.

We all know Rose thinks one´s mortality is something that should be protected at all costs. It should be valued and respected. Not carelessly thrown away like Bella plans on doing.

And you know who else thinks she´d rather stay exactly the way she is, pls and ty?

MC.

Girl wants no part of that...whatever-they-are. Those things are the reason she´s stuck in this dilemma in the first place. Why would she wanna become something she despises?

And you know who else despises what she´s become?

Rosalie.

Rose firmly believes Bella´s choosing wrong.

Well, how do you think Rose would react if someone chose right instead?

I guess the main difference between Bella and MC is that Bella's a willing human pet. 😏

My heart melts just thinking about it.

Esme is basically the (lot) less unhinged version of Carmen, so ofc she´d go full Momma on MC. Making her food (just look at that gif, I mean-), fluffing up her pillow, taking care of her when she isn´t feeling well and just-

ASFKASJFAKSDFN.

Can you imagine Carmen and Esme combined?? I don´t think our hearts could handle it (jk, they won´t have another choice cause I very much plan on combining Carmen and Esme and letting them loose on MC muahaha). It´d be a constant back and forth of-

"Are you hungry, dear?"

"Your feet are not too cold, are they, mi amor?"

"Do you need me to wash those, honey?"

"Leave the poor thing alone."

"She is sleeping."

As for Alice-

I mean-

She´s...wild. But not in the deranged way MC will have no choice but to become used to (courtesy of her forced-found family). She has an energy that makes you feel like you´re talking to a kid on a sugar rush, lmao. But that's an energy MC can deal with I reckon. It might even be something she welcomes after everything else she's been through.

Alice might be a lil weirdo who takes fashion much too seriously, but there's an undeniable joy to her that's kind of infectious. I imagine MC would much rather deal with a bit of weirdness (which probs includes serving as a Barbie for Alice to dress up) than a whole ton of...whatever it is that's not quite right with her kidnappers. 🙃

Tbh: I don't plan for MC to find out about vampires until much later. There's a few things I got in mind for how and when she finds out, and I did say it's not necessarily gonna be the Denalis who will tell the tale.

The Volturi will be involved in one way or another, I´m sure. My mind hasn´t made it that far yet though, because we gotta get MC settled in first. We also gotta tame Irina first before any other vampires (besides the Denalis) can be introduced to our girl. I need MC to be in a position where ALL members of the family are somewhat willing to go the extra mile to keep her with them safe. Whether that be for personal reasons or because your sister went all coven leader on you...

As for being involved in family affairs/meetings:

Hmm, I haven´t thought about that yet. I mean, they´re vampires. They could discuss matters with her in the next room and she would be none the wiser because they can speak at a volume that’s only audible to them due to their heightened hearing. If they don´t want her included in something, she won´t be.

On the other hand...

Seeing how Tanya has already signed the adoption papers (so to speak), I can also very much see her being adamant on MC being included in family matters from now on. She´s the leader, and while she accepts and welcomes her coven members´ opinions, she can be rather stubborn when she´s set her mind on something (or someone).

Much to the annoyance of Irina. Girl´s gonna hit her breaking point sooner rather than later. 💀

There´s tension alright but not nearly enough if you ask Tanya and there´s a reason for that:

Ofc she´s gonna be romantically involved with MC.

So will Kate.

So will Irina.

That´s why I put it in the tags. 😅

However, and I cannot stress this enough, it´s a slow burn. Very slow. With lots of suffering for everyone involved. Why? Cause I like em working for it. 🙃

I´ve made a similar post quite a while ago where I kinda explained the main directive of The Sisters. While falling in love is ofc part of it, it´s not the focus of my story. It´s more about staying true to yourself despite the challenges you face, and about becoming the best version of yourself. Finding love can help a great deal with that, but in the end, it´s up to you to face your demons. Where there´s a will, there´s a way.

.

As for the Denali sisters being experienced with humans:

Yes and no, lol. They´re more experienced than most of their kind for sure, seeing how sleeping around is pretty much all they've been doing for the past century. Besides feeding, ofc. Sometimes they do both at once, and there's the catch-

Getting their fill is all they care about, really. Whether that be related to feeding or...other things. There's never been a situation for them where they felt like they had to be extra careful with their victims flings, simply because they.don't.care. If they make it out alive at the end, good for them. If not, well that's that. There's more where they came from. No biggie. 🤷‍♀️

They have exceptional control over their bloodlust, it has to be said. But that doesn't mean they're gonna overexert themselves with it. Shit happens, so to speak. 🙃

...Enter MC-

.

.

.

Thanks so much for your ask and for letting me know how excited you are to read more! (Crazy is the highest form of flattery, imo. 😌)

Your ask has made me excited as well actually, lmao. With that said:

Have a great day and cya at Chapter 4! 💋

[artemis1214]

Esme/Alastor & OC One-Shot

Author’s Note: This was a request featuring Wattpad user, Allura_887’s OC (Marie), who is the granddaughter of Genevieve had she had lived. 

It was your typical day at the hotel, Charlie was going through worksheets and planners with Vaggie in the lobby, yapping senselessly about her hopes for her mission. Her chirping provided Esme with the perfect backtrack as she poured herself a cup of coffee from the kitchen. She hummed to herself as she watched the hot liquid fill a perfect-sized ocean blue mug with the words ‘Stay Salty’ written in script across it. She turns her head to the right as the door opens and Alastor walks inside. 

“Good Morning, my sweet siren~” He cooed as he ran his clawed hand through her hair, his fingers getting lost in the strands, “Good Morning, sweetheart~” She parroted back as she handed him his empty mug, “You slept soundly, which was a shocker.” 

“Ah, yes, well I was fairly exhausted.” He shrugs, “And what can I say, having you here has been quite comforting.” 

“Mmmm, well, I-” Esme is cut off by the sound of lively chattering coming from the parlor, echoes of Charlie’s enthusiastic voice flowing through the air. She raises an eyebrow and walks to the kitchen door, pushing it open a smidge and peaking through, 

“And right over here, we have our bar, oh and to the right we have this great section where the guests really come together an….” 

She continues to ramble on and Esme tenses up, feeling Alastor’s body behind her. He peaks his head out on top of hers (well several inches above her) and she looks up at his quizzical expression, “Another guest?” 

“It seems so…” Esme mumbles, analyzing the young demon’s movements. Her eyes glow faintly, studying her, “I’ve never seen her in the ocean before…” She whispers, noting the demons dark blue features and fins. She had short blue hair in small tentacles and bright green eyes, “Strange…” 

The two have a moment of silence in thought. 

“Should we go introduce ourselves?” Esme questions. Alastor sighs, his eyes dropping in annoyance, “When I’m fully caffeinated, perha-” 

“Oh, Alastor, Esme!” Charlie beams, “I’d like to introduce you to Marie, our newest guest for the hotel!” Esme clears her throat and steps out of the threshold, Alastor following behind her. Charlie turns to Marie with a bright smile, “Oh, I’m just so excited! You’re so young, I bet you’ll be redeemed in no time. I mean what bad could you have possibly done t-” 

“Marie, is it?” Esme interrupts, sensing this may be headed to a sensitive subject, “A pleasure, dear.” She holds out her hand and feels a strange pull when her damp skin makes connection with hers, “You know, I don’t recognize you from the sea.” 

“I just got here!” Marie explains, “I didn’t think I’d meet you so soon.” Esme’s fins stick up on the top of her head at this, taken back by the statement, 

“Oh…were you looking for me?” 

“Are you Esme Hartfelt?” 

Esme’s eyes widen and she turns to look at Alastor. The two had agreed never to share their human names with any of the sinners as a way to protect themselves. Neither the name Luciano, nor Hartfelt, was echoed in the ring by their mouths, as they didn’t want past victims or characters of their past to recognize them.  “I-I’m sorry? Perhaps you have the wrong sinner…” 

“Oh, but didn’t you say that was your name when we visited heaven?” Charlie asks, placing a finger on her chin and tilting her head, “I swear I remember that name.” 

There’s a low radiostatic frequency and Esme smiles bashfully at Alastor. 

Fuck. 

“Oh my god!” Marie squeals, “It really is you!” Marie pulls her close, looking up at her with a gasp, “Wow, you look so different than those old photographs.” 

Esme bears her fangs, “I beg your pardon?” 

“I’m Marie Fay, Genevieve Hartfelt’s granddaughter!” 

If the radiostatic was noticeable then, well now it practically engulfed the space. Alastor forcefully yanked Esme back towards him, to which Marie noticed and she started circling him, “Damn, you are tall. I know grandma always said you were, but you’re even bigger than I imagined.” 

“I’m terribly sorry, but we must go.” Alastor says sternly, “This little discussion was fun and all, but it’s highly inappropriate and questionable.” Alastor huffs, pulling his wife away despite her pleading eyes. She looks back at Marie as she follows him, her eyes glowing brightly, attempting to assess for danger. 

“Alastor…I don’t think she’s lying….” She says softly, letting out a small gasp as he spins her in front of him, 

“Even if this person is telling the truth, we do not know them. We do not know their intentions.” 

“But she’s from Genny…” 

“Blood means nothing, Esme, you should know better than that.” 

Esme scowls at him and pulls her arm back, “We raised our girl better than that, surely she would have passed down the same values.” 

“Ahh yes, the values of a mafia princess and a serial killer how admirable~” 

“You know, if you don’t wish to know her, that’s fine, but I have my own rights.” 

He huffs and rolls her eyes, “Very well…” He leans down, “But I’m not cleaning up your mess when it backfires.” He walks away, opening the doors to the hotel with a wave and exiting. Esme turns back to Marie and Charlie, chuckling nervously. 

“Heh, well Alastor has never been one for new people…heh….” She walks over, “Now, where were we?” She takes the young sinner by the hands and walks off, “Oh, I want to hear everything! Tell me, how was our young daughter, my golly I can’t believe she had a family of her own.” She turns to Marie, brushing her dark blue tentacles behind her shoulder, 

“I’m so happy to have found you.” Marie continues, “I was a little worried, but when I heard of The Siren and saw your name with…” She looks to the door, “...his…I wondered if it’d be you.” 

Esme hummed, studying the young girl and her features, “Indeed we are, but I must ask why you’re here. Come, let’s chat.” 

She takes her by the hand and leads her to their shared room to continue this conversation…

In private.

🖤Words: 1052 🖤

A/N: I'm now doing commissions for Hazbin Hotel OCs and Esme on my Kofi! You can send over any situation (no NSFW - sorry!) that you would like to see the two of them in. Please make sure to include significant information about your OC for me to work with. :)

~ Artemis 🦌💗

[mindful-of-ideas]

Hot Summer Days

Peaky Blinders One Shot

Summary: At the end of the summer, Thomas decides it's time for the family to go on a well-deserved beach vacation. While you only work for him, you wound up getting invited.

A/N: I tried to leave this open in regards to pairing, hopefully it worked but maybe it feels like everyone is flirting with you. Also, this was supposed to be an imagine but you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find the proper gif sometimes.

It came to you as a surprise when you heard that the Shelby family was planning a trip to the beach. Sure, you knew they could use the break and deserve some time away from the city, especially Finn, but that they would acknowledge that was surprising. Almost unsettling if you were being honest.

If something suspicious was looming under this trip, you had to make sure no one was going to get hurt.

Not physically, of course, but emotionally. This had slowly became your job ever since you got hired by Thomas Shelby himself. Officially, you were his secretary. Making sure papers were in order, reminding him of official and officious meetings, seeing that the boys weren’t too rowdy in the betting shop. Just your average secretary job. Things changed when it became apparent that you needed a desk and the only place available was near the entrance of the betting shop. Now, your job included greeting everyone as they came in. Slowly, you picked up on their habits. Arthur was not to be talked to before he had his coffee. Thomas would always greet you but only nod in your direction if something was on his mind. John would always take the time to talk to you. Finn would stop running up and down the shop if you took the time to ask him what he learned today. Ada only popped by when she needed something from Thomas or when she was sad and needed someone to listen to her. Esme, even if she would never admit it, always gushed over all of John's kids. Arthur takes his coffee black but with one sugar; it’s nicer on his stomach he says.

So if this trip the the beach was just a cover-up for something bigger, something nastier, you had to know. Otherwise, life could become unbearable at the betting shop.

You barely had a foot in the door when a loud voice yapped at you.

“Y/N, my office,” said Thomas sternly, “Now.”

The room had gone quiet. You quickly glanced at John but he looked as confused as you did. Could Thomas have known about what you were planning on asking him? Could he take offence to that? Maybe you got too eager, put your nose where you shouldn’t have? Could he even fire you for that? You couldn’t afford to lose this job. You couldn’t afford to get fired by the Shelbys out of all people.

You stepped into Thomas’ office shaking, your palms sweating.

“Please, sit down,” Thomas said gesturing to the chair facing him across his desk.

You did, maybe a little bit too slowly. You stared at your shoes, not daring to meet his eyes.

“Y/N, is everything okay? You look pale.”

If there was genuine worry in his voice, you couldn’t hear it over the buzzing that was now in your ears.

“I’m… I’m fine…” you finally said, “Just a bit tired I guess…”

“That’s perfect then,” he said clapping his hands together and making you jump, “Not that you are tired of course, that’s not what I meant… I…”

Now hearing his hesitation, you looked up. Thomas seemed uncomfortable. He was slowly scratching the back of his head, looking down, almost as if he was embarrassed.

“I meant… I was planning on taking everyone, the whole family, away on a vacation. To the beach as you may have heard. And I real vacation I might add. Just the sun, the waves, and… what I mean is… would you come with us?”

With his question, he looked up at you but your gaze had gone back to the floor.

“Y/N?” he asked quite firmly.

You looked up again.

“That’s better,” he said, “Now, will you come?”

But you were too stoned to say anything. Not only the vacation plan was real but you could go with them as well.

“It’s just that, you know, Finn really seems to like you,” Thomas started, “And so does Ada and Esme… it would be really nice if you could make it…“

Was he trying to convince you?

“… can get a word out of Arthur before noon. And with John, you’re just…”

“Yes!” you blurted out before he could finish, “I’ll be there!”

“Great!” he said smiling at you, “We leave tomorrow morning. Be here at 6:30 sharp.”

He gestured towards the door, inviting you to leave before getting back to his work.

As you got out of the office, you couldn’t help but smile. Yes, you were thrilled to get the time off and to go out with people you might just start calling friends, but mostly you were happy to know that your work had not gone unnoticed. But you barely had time to enjoy the moment. You could only take a few steps towards your desk before feeling a hard slap on your back. You turned around, a bit angry only to see a beaming Arthur.

“Moving up the ladder I see,” he said excitedly, “Next thing you know you’ll be part of the family! I can’t wait for tomorrow,” he added more quietly.

As soon as the day was over, you rushed home. 6:30 a.m. was early. Way too early. You still had to find clothes and your swimsuit. You hoped it still fit you. Living in Birmingham, there are not many opportunities to go to the beach. The last time you saw the ocean was probably well over ten years ago. You were still a child back then. But your mother had always told you to be ready for anything, so a few years back, after seeing that it was on sale, you bought a swimsuit. Just in case. Just in case you got invited by Thomas fucking Shelby to go to the beach with his family. In what world could something like this happen.

This one apparently. And your mother would tell you to seize the day and not look back. You grab the only bag big enough to fit all your things. Swimsuit, check. Towel, check. Sunglasses, check. Sandals, check. Hat, check. You went down your list until everything was in your bag. In the end, it was much and the bag closed easily. It was already past midnight when you finally laid on your bed and went to sleep.

At 6:30 a.m. sharp, the cars left for the ocean. You ended up squeezed between an overexcited Finn and a less-than-happy Arthur. It was way too early for him.

The ride wasn’t too long, just a little over two hours. As soon as you got out of the car, you were met with a whirling wind. Your hair danced crazily in front of your eyes. With one hand holding your bag you struggled to keep it under control.

“Here,” said Esme, “give your bag to John, I’ll help you.”

Still half blind, you lifted up your bag in front of you, hoping that this was where John was.

“Now,” said Esme raking her hands through your hair, “let me take care of this for you.”

Gently, she combed your hair back and started braiding it. A few strands from the front of your head escaped and started dancing in the wind again.

“You tell me if I hurt you,” she said. But you couldn’t hear a thing over the wind that has now picked up again.

“What!” you said hoping to be loud enough.

She leaned in closer to you.

“Tell me to stop if it hurts, okay?” she whispered gently in your ear.

You nodded slightly, not wanting to move too much and ruin your hair. A few moments later, she was done. You felt the cold wind on your neck before Esme wrapped her arm around it.

“Let’s go find the boys now!” she said before forcing you down the sandy hills and towards the beach.

When you got there, Thomas and John were already laying blankets under beach umbrellas while Arthur was still struggling to put his up. You knew asking him if he needed help was a bad idea but you had no other choice.

“Need a hand,” you asked gently.

He was struggling with keeping the umbrella at the right angle while hammering it down for it to stay in place. He grumbled something you couldn’t quite hear but took as a ‘yes’. You got to your knees and grabbed the umbrella with both hands. Arthur inclined it properly before hammering down a rock on its top. It took a few hits but it eventually was deep enough in the sand for it to hold in place.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, “You’ll wanna sit with me?”

“Sure,” you said grinning.

You placed down your towel by his before grabbing your bag again.

“Does anyone know where we can get changed?” you asked, mostly looking towards Ada and Esme.

“There’s a hut right by there,” Thomas answered first, vaguely pointing behind him towards yet more sandy hills.

“I guess I’ll have to figure it out myself,” you mumbled passing right by him.

And you did. Not far from where you had settled, there were a dozen of brightly coloured cabins all lined up neatly by a boardwalk. You quickly changed, keeping on an oversized shirt to cover your shoulder from the sun. It used to be your dad and went down to your mid-thigh. After a quick glance at yourself, you decided it was best to leave the last few buttons open. It looked better, but mostly it felt more comfortable.

You walked back down to the beach, your arms interlaced with Ada and Esme’s. Even from far away, you could see the boys running on the beach. What they were running for was however unclear.

“Are they…?” you started, not sure how to finish your question.

“Playing football?” Ada completed, “Yes! It’s been such a long time since I played with them too, come on!”

With that, she started running, dragging Esme and you behind her. Quickly, the teams were changed as you ended up facing Thomas, John and Esme. Your team was losing. Badly. Something about being too aggressive and not having enough strategy. As Ada and Arthur blocked the other team, you managed to get ahold of the ball. Without missing a beat, you ran up your makeshift field. As you were about to kick the ball, and hopefully score, John came out of nowhere, trying to steal it from you. You struggled to push him back, unknowingly drifting towards the water.

“It’s over Y/N!” roared John.

“Unless…” you started while trying to outsmart him.

You kicked the ball in between John’s legs and took a step forward trying to get control of it. But John stepped forward too, making you tumble backwards. Next thing you knew, you were in the water, John over you.

“Oh shit, sorry,” said John quickly getting up and offering you a hand.

“It’s… it’s okay,” you said between two coughs.

He pulled you up with a little bit more strength than you expected. You stumbled forward, catching yourself on John’s chest.

“Woah, easy there,” he said taking your hand and his.

“Sorry…” you said feeling the red rise to your cheeks.

“I’m messing with you, come on!” he said gently pushing the ball towards you.

Quickly, you took the ball back and sprinted towards the goal, scoring. The game went on, the score tied. As you tried to get in one last goal, you and Finn kicked the ball at the same time, sending it flying away.

“I’ll get it,” you both said at the same time, sprinting towards the ball.

The ball came to a stop in front of three tall men, all dressed in black suits.

“So sorry to have disturbed you,” you said politely, “We’ll just get the ball back…”

But one of the men put his feet on it before picking it up from the ground.

“Look, we don’t want any trouble…” you said now more quietly feeling that the situation was escaping your control.

“And what can someone as pretty as you give me in exchange for the ball?” the man asked stepping towards you.

You stepped back, but Finn stepped in front of you.

“Kid, move out the way,” the man said, pushing Finn to the side.

Finn struggled to keep his balance but came right back by your side.

“Now, come on,” the man went on, “I’m sure you can think of something.”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Finn whispered in your ear, “If they get too close, I’ll fight them off.”

You had trouble believing him after what you had just witnessed, but the thought was still comforting.

“You know what,” the man said, “Maybe I’ll just take what I want.”

He dropped the ball and made his way up to you. Finn grasped your hand and you held it as tight as you could. Before you could even will your body to run away, a loud voice snapped at the man.

“Don’t take another step,” Thomas said from behind you.

The man stopped dead in his tracks. He hesitated for a moment and then started laughing.

“Oh, come on man. I’ll let you have a turn after if that’s what you want.”

You looked over your shoulder. Thomas looked serious, dead serious, but you could tell there was a point of anger in him.

“Finn, get a move on,” he said walking towards you.

Finn went running back to his family. Thomas wrapped an arm around your shoulder, making you realize that you were shivering.

“Now,” Thomas said calmly, “you have two choices. Either you turn around and leave this beach, or you take another step forward and I make sure you, your friends and your whole family can never see the sun again.”

“Mate, come on! We were just having some fun,” the man said still smiling.

Somehow, that creeped you out even more and made you want to disappear from that man’s sight. You made yourself as small as possible against Thomas.

“Mate…” the man said now hesitating as Thomas’s face was still serious.

“Have you heard of the Peaky Blinders?” Thomas asked slowly.

But before you knew it, the men had turned away and were gone.

“You’re okay Y/N?” Thomas asked, looking down at you.

“Yeah… yeah I think I’m fine.”

“Let’s get back to the others,” he said.

“Y-yes.”

He kept his arm wrapped around your shoulders, his fingers lightly grasping your shirt sleeve.

The rest of the day went by quietly. Before you knew it, it was time to leave and go back to gloomy Birmingham.

“Can we get like ten more minutes?” Ada asked Thomas.

“No,” he answered simply.

“Five then,” she pleaded, “I promise, just five more minutes.”

“Fine,” Thomas finally agreed.

“Y/N, with me,” she ordered as she ran up the beach.

You were back by the boardwalk, but Ada made you turn away from the rainbow cabins this time. After just a few steps, you understood why she had brought you here. Ice cream.

“We’ll take two vanilla, two chocolate and one strawberry,” she said, “and it’s my treat,” she added before you could even say anything.

“Wha- well thanks,” you said slightly embarrassed.

As the vendor started handing the ice creams to her, she stuffed two in your hands.

“Yours and mine,” she said.

“Strawberry,” you said smiling, “you remembered.”

“Of course I did!” she said, “Now let’s go before they melt.

Giggling you made your way back down the hill. This truly had been the most amazing summer day.

[iaus]

I love reading about your ocs!! Not sure which questions are left to ask so if there’s any info you haven’t gotten to share about any of them take this as an opportunity <3

oh esme do you know what you're doing-

so. it was actually really funny because i've been staring at #9 which is the what lyric/quote do you associate w/ your OC so. now i'm gonna yap about music. <3 i thought had more quotes in salem's tag but they're all pictures of hyenas and meme posts

fun fact salem has TWO playlists. one pre-death and one post-death.

anyway. salem has like two big songs i associate him with: "way out there" by lord huron and "i am not who i was" by chance pena.

anyway. yapping now. <3

first things first "way out there"

Find me way out there There's no road that will lead us back When you follow the strange trails They will take you who knows where if i found a way to stay with you tonight it would only make me late, for a date i can't escape

this song like. hit me like a truck the after the session with aboleth and frederick's death/revival.

it was also the basis of the thing i wrote where salem is pathetic longing @ frederick where the party leaves him behind because they're worried about him going into a boss fight when he's recovering from resurrection sickness.

i also really like this song because:

"I belong bodily to the earth / I'm just wearing old bones from those that came first"

and

"I'm a long way from the one that I loved / I've been tending old flames, lamenting what was / Drifting in a land time forgot / If you think that I've changed, you know me not"

because it makes me think of his relationship with his family- the longing he still has for them and how there's guilt of leaving them because of his feelings of wanderlust.

i think he really believes that if he was there when his family was attacked that he could have saved them. but. the world isn't that kind.

now "i am not who i was"

So if I fly too far Will I still have a place inside your heart? And when you see what I've become Will you love me for who I am, not who I was?

i LOOOOOVE this song for salem. i think it's meant to be a romantic song, but i think it's such a good song for him to his family.

salem misses them so much and i don't think he realized until they were gone how much they really meant to him. and this song really makes me think about how salem, before he died and found himself in the afterlife hearing his family calling to him, that he had this hope buried so deep that maybe his family was still alive. that he would find them while adventuring.

when he met his current adventuring party he was actually heading back to the desert he grew up in. so i offer these other lyrics for him that i think really sum up his feelings towards his family's death:

"I think about you every night / Wonder what it would've been like / If I stuck around and settled down / Maybe in another life"

and

"I'll just hope you don't lose faith / 'Cause I told the truth when I said to you / That I'll be back someday"

some additional shout outs from salem's playlist that i'm not gonna like Get Into are:

"youth" glass animals -> "Feel your mother at your side / Don't you know you got my eyes? / I'll make you fly / You'll be happy all the time / I know you can make it right"

"begging" maneskin -> "I need you to understand / Tried so hard to be your man / The kind of man you want in the end / Only then can I begin to live again"

"meet me in the woods" lord huron -> "How long baby have I been away? / Oh, it feels like ages, though you say it's only days / There ain't language for the things I've seen, yeah / And the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams"

[buttercupsandboys]

Sunshine & Rainbows

Alfie Solomons x Livy (OFC) — Chapter 14

18+ NSFW - minors don’t interact 🙅🏻‍♀️

MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3

CHAPTER 14: descending into madness

Summary: Alfie meets with Bernard and discovers Livy is missing. It doesn’t go well.

TW: language typical of Peaky Blinders, violence and angst

Word count: 4376

A/N: It’s been a while, so here’s a quick recap! (Or click here to read Chapter 13 again!)

Alfie and Livy were having a private moment by the Cut when they were interrupted by Thomas, and Livy learns the men are working with Bernard McCall from the High Rip Gang—the man responsible for her abuse and trafficking as a child. Livy panics and flees with the help of Polly and Esme. 

This chapter starts with a small time jump. We’re back at the Cut, only this time, it’s from Alfie’s point of view…

"Livy, I need you to know that I—"

… that I love you. 

Fuck, he was so close to saying the words that had evaded him for weeks, but as always, Thomas Shelby has the worst possible timing. 

"We need to talk." 

"No, we don't. Leave before I shoot you in the face."

Alfie refuses to turn around, his broad shoulders shielding Livy from view, his fingers gripping her hips as he contemplates pulling the trigger. 

It’s fucking tempting. After a long week, the last thing he wants to do is talk business. Especially not now, with Livy in his arms, staring up at him with wide eyes and swollen lips. How someone like her finds pleasure in his company, Alfie will never understand. She deserves better, surely, but it’s too late for that. She’s his now, and he’s going to finish telling her how much he loves her just as soon as he can get rid of—

"Bernard and his boys are making a move."

Oh, for fucks sake. 

Alfie knew getting involved with those useless cunts from up north would end up biting him in the arse. He curses, slamming his fist into a crate, wishing he wasn’t right all the damn time. 

"He's on his way from Liverpool. He knows about Sabini and would like to renegotiate."

"Yeah, I bet he does," Alfie grumbles as he helps Livy down, his frown deepening when her heels narrowly avoid a murky puddle. It’s yet another reminder that she doesn’t belong in this filthy fucking city, but he’ll have to tolerate it a bit longer. There will be no getting out of this meeting now, not with Liverpool proving such a valuable asset. 

Begrudgingly, he admits that expanding their network has been profitable. But at what cost? Bernard is no fool; he demands a premium for access to the docks, and now that Sabini’s gone, Alfie can only imagine what else he’ll ask for.

Or at least … that's what he would be doing if he wasn’t so fucking distracted. 

Alfie prides himself on staying two steps ahead of his associates and rarely enters negotiations without knowing what the other party hopes to achieve. It’s what sets him apart; while his capacity for violence is legendary, along with his fiery temper, it’s his dangerous mind that’s responsible for his astonishing rise to power. 

He’s astute, focused, and cunning. 

But not tonight. 

After being away from Livy and coming so close to confessing his love to her, he feels more like a nervous schoolboy than a criminal mastermind. Fucking hell. It’s taken him so long to get to this point, to find the courage to say what needs to be said, but with every passing minute, fear and doubt are creeping up his spine, the foreign emotions slowly consuming him. 

Vaguely, he’s aware of taking Livy’s arm and leading her to a car, Cyril yapping at their heels, a cutting breeze chasing the setting sun, chilling without the familiar presence of his hat. But Alfie observes these things as if from a distance, still lost in thought. 

I love you. 

It shouldn’t be this hard to say, should it? They’re just fucking words, and he’s never been short of them before. In fact, he considers himself something of a master when it comes to weaponised conversation. 

Maybe that’s the problem. 

Alfie uses words to control, confuse, and manipulate; they’re like tiny foot soldiers in his one-man army. He’s confident on the battlefield, making deal or die offers with dangerous men, but here, with her … well, fuck. 

As the streets fly by, a blur of grey and cobblestones, Alfie wonders what type of man he’d be if he hadn’t been hardened by life. Would sweet words—soft words, beautiful words, words a woman like Livy deserves to hear—roll as naturally off his tongue as the curses that pepper his speech? Would he have courted her, taken her to dinner at least, before fucking her at the goddamn breakfast table? 

He’s never been prone to second-guessing himself, but as Thomas rambles on about Bernard, Alfie tallies his list of regrets. There’s so much he would do over if he could; fuck, he should have sought out Livy as soon as the war ended, protected her like he promised, instead of waiting for her to show up on his doorstep. If only he hadn’t been such a selfish bastard, she would never have set foot in the Eden Club, and those fucking wops would have never laid a hand on her. 

Of course, Livy finds trouble wherever she goes, and under normal circumstances, Alfie would never allow himself to wallow in the past. But he’s not accustomed to feeling vulnerable or insecure—love is toying with his mind—-and she’s everything he never knew he wanted.

He’s afraid of losing her, scared of the moment when Livy comes to her senses and disappears from his life. Like a rainbow after a storm, here one minute, gone the next, leaving nothing behind but brightly coloured memories. 

His chest clenches painfully at the thought, but Alfie quickly shuts it down. It won’t happen; he won’t let it. She’ll be back in Camden Town soon enough, and then he’ll take her somewhere, somewhere expensive, and tell her properly, be a fucking gentleman for once in his useless life—

“Esme.”

Livy’s soft voice catches him off guard, and Alfie finds himself blushing under his thick beard, grateful for the fading light. The car comes to a stop as he turns in his seat and fights to keep his expression blank. 

“Probably putting the kids to bed," Thomas replies. 

Alfie nods, avoiding her eyes, sure that if Livy looks too closely, she’ll see right through him. And now is not the time, not with Thomas Shelby watching on silently and Bernard McCall arriving any fucking minute. 

"Why don't you go and say hello—alright, pet? I'll come and find you when we're done here.”

Time seems to freeze as he waits for her response, and there’s a strange tension in the air he would normally remark upon. But nothing about tonight feels normal, and he’s never felt less like himself as he hurries to help Livy out of the car, holding her close when she nearly trips over Cyril. 

“Fucking mutt,” Alfie growls, his frustration bubbling over. 

But to his surprise, his mild-mannered pup growls right back. 

Alfie frowns at the odd behaviour, the hair on the back of his neck suddenly standing at attention. His instincts urge him to pull Livy close, to look deep into her golden eyes before she rushes off. But then her full lips brush his cheek, and Thomas is leading the way to the betting shop, and business is business, after all. 

He lets her go.  

“Right, Thomas, I think we both know this is a waste of fucking time.” Alfie is irate and can’t be bothered to hide it. “He wants a piece of London, and that ain’t fucking happening.”

“Of course not,” Thomas scoffs, pausing to light a cigarette before taking a seat behind his large desk. “But Bernard is … optimistic. Just talk to him, eh?”

“Talk to him,” Alfie repeats dryly, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair. He hates everything about this fucking office; the trinkets and the smoke and, most of all, the smug fucking man sitting across from him. “Well, I know this is hard to believe, but I’m just about out of words tonight. So why don’t you stop dancing around and fill me in on your fucking plan?”

With Livy gone, Alfie has finally managed to gather his wits. Bernard is on his way because the Blinders and Jews are dividing up territory, and it’s so fucking obvious he can’t believe he didn’t see it earlier. But Thomas did—and judging from the look on his face, it can only mean one thing: a ridiculous, overly-ambitious plan. 

And fuck, he’s too tired for this. 

While part of him reluctantly admires Thomas for his initiative, and his ability to twist anything to his advantage, lately there have been rumours of Russians and Americans, politics and weapons, and silly things Alfie wants no fucking part of. Especially not now, with Livy in his life. It’s a ballache waiting to happen, and he has a bad feeling he’s already an unwilling pawn in one of Thomas Shelby’s games. 

“We’re just buying time tonight, Alfie. That’s all. Send him back to Liverpool, let him find his head, and I’m sure we can all come to an agreement.”

“Fuck off, Thomas. Do I look like one of your dumb fucking brothers? I know you’re playing at something—“

Before Alfie can finish, they’re interrupted by a loud knock on the door. 

“Come in,” announces Thomas, shooting Alfie a stern look. 

Alfie grunts, eyeing a pretentious bronze horse from across the desk, fighting the urge to smash Thomas in the face with it. 

His temper fails to improve when the door opens, revealing Arthur and Bernard. Now he’s stuck in a room with who he’s sure must be his three least favourite people on this fucking planet. 

“Bernard,” greets Thomas. His tone is polite, but he doesn’t stand or offer his hand, and neither does Alfie. “Take a seat.”

Bernard doesn’t take offence. Instead he smiles, a crooked smile, revealing a prominent gold tooth. 

“Don’t mind if I do,” he replies, dropping into the seat next to Alfie and nodding when Thomas offers a whiskey. “Straight to business then, lads?”

Alfie huffs. “Well, here’s the thing, right. I recall us making a deal just the other week—did we not?” He strokes his beard before pointing accusingly at Bernard, shaking his finger at the older man. 

“Yeah. Yeah, we did, mate. And yet here we are again, sharing air in this godless city.” Alfie’s voice drops dangerously. “So I’m guessing you have something of considerable importance to tell us. Unless you enjoy wasting my fucking time?”

“Wastin’ your time?” chuckles Bernard, sipping his drink and wiping his mouth with the back of his weathered hand. “Oh, that’s funny, that is.”

“Is it?” Alfie glances across at Thomas. “‘Cause I’m known for a lot of things, mate, but my sense of humour ain’t one of them.”

Arthur snorts from his place near the door, having witnessed Alfie’s ‘humour’ firsthand. 

“Well, ‘ere’s the thing, big fella. When we was negotiatin’, you failed to mention your plan for the Italians.” Bernard’s smile disappears and is quickly replaced with a menacing scowl. “Now I can’t ‘elp but feel you’re wastin’ my fuckin’ time here, mate.”

Alfie isn’t easily baited, but he can feel his patience slipping away, his temper rising in its place. The more he thinks about it, the less he cares about Liverpool, and he’s not sure how much more he can tolerate from this ugly scouse fucker. Right now, all he wants is to be home with Livy, and he’s not afraid to break a few bones if it will hurry things along. 

“Is that so? Well, don’t be shy then.” Alfie leans forward and looks Bernard straight in the eye, just inches from his face, daring him to look away. “Tell us what you want, treacle.”

Bernard refuses to back down. “A third of the Italian’s territory,” he snarls.  

“A third of …” Alfie can’t help it; he throws his head back and laughs, a barking sound from deep in his chest, eyes crinkling with amusement. “Right, well, that ain’t ever going to happen, now is it? So thanks for coming. Now, why don’t you fuck right off—“

“I think what my colleague is trying to say”—Thomas gives Alfie a pointed look—“is that London is off the table. But you already know that, don’t you?”

Bernard narrows his eyes, jaw clenched as he waits for Thomas to continue. Alfie follows suit, wondering where the fuck he’s going with this. 

“You’re a smart man, Bernard. You know you can’t maintain that kind of territory from Liverpool.” Thomas stands and looks out the window before turning back to face the others. “But you didn’t come here to talk about London.”

“Then what the fuck am I doin’ ‘ere? Since you know so fuckin’ much.”

Thomas reaches forward and places his palms on the desk. “Because we both know I’m a man of considerable resources.” He straightens up and inhales from his cigarette before pointing at Bernard, the smoke coiling between them. “And I have something you lost. Something you want back.”

And there it is, thinks Alfie. 

The pieces are falling into place. Thomas Shelby has pulled a bargaining chip out of thin air, and Alfie would bet his left nut it’s because he needs Liverpool for more than his sad fucking gin. 

He has a bad feeling about this …

But Bernard grins. 

“There’s only one thing I want more than London.”

“Patience,” Thomas promises. “Go back to Liverpool. Give me 48 hours, and I’ll make it worth your while.”

Bernard nods agreeably, leaving Alfie feeling like a third wheel with no clue what they’re talking about. But he knows better than to show his frustration and instead sits in stony silence, hands fisted by his side, fuming as Thomas wraps up the meeting. 

But when the door closes, he explodes. 

“What the fuck was that?” Alfie demands, coming to his feet, ready to wrap his fingers around Thomas’s scrawny little neck. 

“Alfie,” he replies, raising his hands in peace. “I just needed to buy some time.”

“Yeah, you said that,” Alfie growls dangerously, stalking closer. “But time for what, mate?”

Thomas takes a cautious step backwards. 

“To call in some favours. I want Liverpool, and I want Bernard out of the picture. It’ll be better for both of us.”

Alfie stares him down as he weighs up his options. 

Beneath the whiskey and smoke, he can smell Shelby bullshit, and there’s no doubt in his mind Thomas would play him for a fool. The intelligent thing would be to keep pushing for more details—by any means necessary—before this whole mess has a chance to blow up in his face. 

But he’s exhausted and just about out of fucks tonight, so for once, Alfie chooses the easy way out. Maybe he really is getting soft, but right now, he can’t find it in him to care. Not when he has other, more pleasurable, things on his mind. 

“Right, Thomas. Well, as you know, I am a man of faith. So I’m going to let your blatant fucking lies slide—for now. But know this. I can smell your pikey nonsense a mile off, and I will only allow your little games for so long.” 

Alfie steps back and collects his cane, absently reaching for his hat before remembering its fate. He curses, leaving Thomas with a final warning. 

“Do not tempt me because I will not hesitate to end your measly excuse for a life.”

And with that, Alfie stalks out of the room, ready to collect Livy and finally get the fuck out of Small Heath.  

“What the fuck do you mean she isn’t here?”

If Alfie thought Shelby men were infuriating, that was before coming up against Shelby women. 

Esme leans against her battered door frame, arms crossed over her chest, shooting Alfie a look that would melt steel. Polly stands behind her, smoking a thin cigarette, looking bored. 

But Livy is nowhere to be found.

“What are you deaf?” snaps Esme. “I told you she left earlier with your big oaf of a dog.”

His hand grips his cane as he silently counts to ten. Alfie isn’t the type to hit a woman, but he wonders if tonight will be the night he makes an exception. 

“Listen, love. I’m just about out of fucking patience. So stop with the bullshit, yeah, and tell me what else you know before I knock it out of ya.”

Esme practically snarls, reminding him of one of the small yapping dogs he’s seen on Cyril’s walks; she looks ready to chew his ankle off when Polly intervenes. 

“Look, Mr Solomons,” she proclaims, pushing Esme aside. “Livy left a half hour ago, said she was looking for you. That’s all we know.”

Alfie frowns and tries to hide the panic slowly rising in his chest. “Well, she didn’t fucking find me, now did she? Do you have any idea where she might fucking be?”

Polly shrugs, taking her time, inhaling from her cigarette before continuing. “Ask Thomas. He thinks he knows everything. Let him help you.”

Fucking hell. 

At this point, Alfie is so tired he can barely stand, so angry he can barely speak, and so worried he can barely breathe. And now he has to drag his arse back down Watery Lane to enlist the help of Thomas fucking Shelby. 

He wonders if this night could get any worse and then berates himself because of course it could. Fear settles in his gut, memories of Livy’s kidnapping fresh in his mind, the worst-case scenario increasingly possible. 

Because how could she just get lost? 

Lost … 

The fear suddenly turns to ice, like glass shattering into a million shards, exploding, slicing him to ribbons from the inside out. 

“And I have something you lost. Something you want back.”

He’s still in the dark, still missing vital fucking information, but a sixth sense tells Alfie that Bernard’s visit and Livy’s disappearance are no coincidence. With a speed he shouldn’t possess, not with his sciatica flaring up the way it is, he finds himself banging on Thomas’s front door. 

When he doesn’t immediately answer, Alfie signals to Ishmael, who’s been patiently waiting by the car all evening. He has him blow the horn, not caring if he wakes the street. He’ll wake the entire city, burn it to the ground if that’s what it takes. 

He promised Livy, promised her father, and promised himself this will not happen. Not again. After years of merely existing in this wicked world, he finally has something real—someone worth living for—and he’s not going to give her up without a fight. 

Alfie feels a fresh surge of panic, and he’s ready to smash the door down when Thomas casually opens it, a cigarette dangling from his lips, wearing a bored expression just like his fucking aunt. 

“Alfie,” he greets dryly. 

“What have you done with her, Thomas?” asks Alfie, his voice deadly calm. 

Thomas frowns, an unusual show of emotion. “I don’t know what—“

Alfie slams his cane against the door, splintering the wood, the sickening crack echoing down the empty street. 

The floodgates have opened. 

“No, Thomas,” he bellows, spit flying from his lips, rage thundering through his veins. “This is your fucking town. So tell me, where is she? What fucking happened to her?”

He reaches for Thomas, blindly shaking him. The fear is so much worse than the last time Livy went missing. Too much is unknown. He can’t make a plan, can’t mobilise his men; he’s fucking helpless, and all he can do is take out his rage on this cunt because Alfie is sure he’s involved somehow. 

His fists start flying before he can stop himself, and he must break Thomas’s nose; there’s blood, warm and wet, coating his hands as he drags him into the street. The residents of Small Heath, accustomed to violence, shut their curtains and look away as Alfie continues to unleash his fury.

He knows he should stop—he needs Thomas’s help—but Alfie can feel himself descending into madness, fear and anger blinding him to reason. Flashes of Livy alone in the dark run through his mind, and he can’t control his body’s violent reaction. Every cell is calling for her; she’s the light in his life, and he needs her back. 

“Where is she?” he roars, over and over, as the coppery scent of blood fills the air. Alfie barely notices when Arthur and John appear, shouting and pulling at his arms, or when Ishmael cocks his gun, bringing the others to a standstill. 

It’s only when another voice rings out, strong yet feminine, that everyone stops and listens. 

“She left,” Polly announces, standing in the street, surveying the scene with disgust. “And can you blame her? Look at the lot of you.”

Silence rings out, and Alfie‘s heart skips a beat. 

“She left?” he repeats dumbly, oblivious to the eyes on him as his mind struggles to make sense of her words. 

Polly nods. 

Alfie lets go of Thomas, not looking when he lands in a heap, not caring when his brothers drag him away. His attention is on Polly, and Esme when she joins her from the shadows. 

“Why?” Alfie asks, in a whisper so broken he barely recognises his own voice. 

But he finds no sympathy among the Shelby women. 

“Because she’s not fucking safe here, now is she?” snaps Esme, crossing her arms defiantly. 

“Of course she is,” Alfie scoffs, his anger returning. “I keep her fucking safe. She’s safe with me,” he roars, thumping his chest with his bloody fist. 

Polly raises an arched brow. “And how’s that working out for her?” 

He opens his mouth, ready to unleash hell, but finds he can’t because she’s fucking right. Livy’s been in danger since the moment she showed up on his doorstep. 

And Polly knows it. 

“That’s what I thought,” she replies, her voice softer this time. “Listen. If you care about her, you’ll leave her be. She’s safe, for now.”

“I can’t just fucking—“

“Yes, you can,” Polly commands. “Get a room at the Midland and clean yourself up. She wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

Alfie wants to protest, but the look in her eyes compels him to listen. There’s more to this, and he intends to find out. Besides, what choice does he have? He glances around and finds himself surrounded by angry Shelbys, with more Blinders lurking in the shadows, their familiar peaked caps concealing dangerous blades. 

Yet they keep their distance when he turns away, and he can’t help wondering why they allow him to walk off after smashing Thomas in his pretty face. 

It doesn’t add up, any of it. 

His hip is grateful for the comfortable bed, but despite the late hour, he can’t fucking sleep. 

How could he? 

The clock on the mantle ticks loudly, keeping pace with his heart as he stares at the ceiling. Alfie’s deep in thought, trying to put himself in her shoes, trying to understand why Livy would leave him. 

Just hours ago, she was wrapped in his arms, staring at him like he mattered … and now she’s gone? What is she so afraid of that she’d leave without saying goodbye? Why wouldn’t she let him protect her? Doesn’t she trust him? 

These questions swirl around his brain with no sensible answers, leading him to the real possibility that Polly is lying. She is a Shelby, after all, and it’s not unreasonable to imagine her covering for Thomas and whatever he’s plotting. But if she is, she’s a fucking good liar. 

Either way, Alfie can’t figure out his next step. 

He could call for men, head north to Liverpool and track down Bernard. He still suspects the fucker has something to do with her disappearance. 

But it’s risky. They’d be outnumbered, and what if he’s wrong? What if someone else has her? The last thing he wants is to waste valuable time on a wild goose chase. 

Or what if she left of her own accord, as Polly claims, and wants nothing to do with him? The thought is heartbreaking, almost too painful to envisage, but he knows he has to consider the possibility. Is it worth chancing a war with Bernard when he might not have her? 

Absolutely. 

He’s already written off Liverpool; it’s too much fucking hassle, and there are easier ways a violent man can make a fortune. But more importantly, there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do to get Livy back. With every minute she’s gone, Alfie realises just how much he would happily sacrifice to be by her side. He’d give up a thousand Liverpools without a second thought if that’s what it takes to get her back in his arms. 

But right now, he doesn’t know where to strike, and the best he can do is weigh up the odds. It’s all a fucking gamble, and Alfie isn’t a betting man, especially with no clear favourite and so much at stake. 

He stands, growling with frustration, fighting the urge to break something, when he hears a soft knock on his hotel door. His heart leaps, hope rising in his chest as he crosses the room in two long strides, praying he’ll find Livy on the other side. 

For a moment, he swears he can smell her sweet scent, cherries and vanilla, flooding his nostrils and warming his heart. But then he flings the door open, and his smile disappears, disappointment washing over him when he sees Polly and Esme instead of his beloved. 

His first instinct is to slam the door in their smug faces, but fortunately, the logical side of his brain takes over. He takes a deep breath and arranges his features into what he hopes is a welcoming expression. 

“Come in,” he invites, standing aside. 

Polly nods, sweeping into the room like she owns the place (and probably does). Esme follows close behind, looking less than pleased to be there, throwing herself into a chair by the window and planting her boots on a small table. 

“Please, make yourself comfortable,” mocks Alfie, sweeping his hand in a broad gesture and making no effort to hide his irritation. 

“What was that?” snaps Esme, staring him down as she deliberately ashes her cigarette on the carpet. 

He glares back. “Did I stutter?”

“Fuck off, you—“

“Enough!” shouts Polly, coming to stand between them. She turns to face Alfie. “We didn’t drag ourselves out in the middle of the fucking night for the fun of it. Now, do you want to bicker like a child, or do you want to find Livy?”

That shuts him up. He gives a slight, sober nod. 

“Good. Now take a seat. We need to talk.”

Tag List: @noz4a2 @confessionbrain​ @omgeternal​ @potter-solomons​ @quarterpastmidnight​ @woofgocows​ @shaddixlife​ @redhead7799 @cillmequick​

[lostinalem]

I’m too shy to dm but I Am asking you about your fallout OCs, as your bio said ^__^

HELLO I AM GOIGN TO KISE YOU THABK U FOR ASKING ‼️‼️‼️‼️ sorry it took me so long to respond (I had to figure out how to draw them all... phew) and there are sooooo many more BUT these are the ones I actually care about rn (cause all I've been playing is fnv) ok now buckle up because it's a lot 💀

Andy (she/her) is my favvvvvv fallout oc. she's one of four player characters from the fallout dnd campaign I'm in !! I've posted about her like once maybe twice before but she's the loml cringefail rodeo girl and I would do ANYTHING for her. she cannot do social interactions to save her life and I swear all the odds are rigged against her it's so funny. the coolest thing though is she made her own GIANT Giddyup Buttercup to ride!! she grew up in a little rodeo-centered town in Oregon so that was kind of her thing to like. fit in. cause she never really had any friends, so she's like "well, if i can't be liked, then I'll make myself useful" but it didn't really work so when she was old enough she left to hopefully be helpful in other places instead :3 (which is where the campaign comes in in Washington but I can yap about that some other time)

I also lovvveeee Sal (any pronouns) he's an ichthyologist who grew up in southeastern Alaska. while he was out fishing though, he came across a seemingly abandoned cruise ship and decided to board, only to find there were quite a few inhabitants (ghouls, humans, ferals) already! they end up staying and making their home there for a few years, expanding their fish research and setting up trade with their hometown, but everything changed when they found the platinum chip in an old boot they fished up :0 at first, nobody really knew what it was, but this wasn't Sal's first time dealing with pre-war tech and word spread pretty quickly, so soon enough she had her answer LOL and that's what brought her to the Mojave as "the courier" !

Suzette (they/them) is a vault dweller, chronic overthinker, easy to anger, polyglot that doesn't actually like to talk that much, and also "the courier." something in me makes it impossible to make a normal oc they just have to be quirky as hell man 😭😭 not that I'm gonna stop of course. anyway I'm not a religious guy so I'm not the best when it comes to the Bible, but I based their vault off of the Tower of Babel. basically every level of the vault houses a different culture and language! they're all strictly separated though, and Vault-Tec manipulates from the shadows like always, distorting communication, fabricating languages, subliminal messages too or something idk but the point is that they don't work together. the little polyglot over here tho wanted to change that, but they were ostracized for their efforts, eventually leading to them getting kicked out :( out in the wasteland, they then started courier work because they saw it as an opportunity to use their linguistic skills for good, travelling the wasteland, connecting different cultures, learning more languages, yadda yadda they've got terrible fashion btw 2000's inspiration just for the fun of it :)

okkkk soooo Esme (she/her) is Benny's bride :3 she grew up in Goodsprings (idk her relationship to the others specifically) but she always had dreams for a bigger life, something more exciting and glamorous, so she moved closer to the Strip in her mid 20's. she spent a few years on there, getting a job somewhere idk I really haven't thought her through all that much but the point is that she bumps into Benny and falls madly in love. to win his affection, she gets her hands on the platinum chip somehow and uses it as leverage to get him to marry her. they're promptly married in Goodsprings, but while the newlyweds are alone, he kills her and flees the scene with the chip. when she recovers, she's still confusingly in love with Benny, leading her to return to the Strip and find Benny again and get caught up in all the politics idk I think it's fun

... they r supposed to be identical twins except I cannot draw the same person twice for the LIFE of me so just imagine ok hehe Red (right, he/him) is technically the courier, BUT he was disabled in the Divide, so now Beck (left, also he/him) usually carries out his deliveries for him. most people wouldn't be able to really tell them apart, so it's not a problem—until Benny shoots Beck in the head. now, Red is usually very friendly and outgoing, but when the "death" of his brother reaches him, he changes. the need for revenge consumes him. Beck, on the other hand, wakes up with NO memory of his past. in fact, due to the delivery note on him, he thinks *he's* Red. unfortunately, everyone else also thinks they're the same person and it gets really confusing and really silly. and also really sad.

If u read all this, hi :3 which one do u think is the coolest?

[nicofitz]

(Not to mention all the gay behavior)

Kara protecting her wife (as is expected at this point)! this catch is so impressive, so much so it almost seems to shock Kara herself lol. also this might be Kara's gayest outfit in the entire series

This one speaks for itself but imma yap anyway. Kara aka supergirl aka one of the fastest people on the planet, flies Lena to the DEO in her human clothes instead of taking 0.5 seconds to change into her supergirl outfit, risking not only exposing her identity to Lena, but to the rest of the city and everyone who works at the DEO (assuming they dont all know already).

Alex doing her doctoring stuff while Kara looks on incredibly worried. Stuttering whenever Alex asks any questions.

The instant Alex needs something Kara provides. Kara: "I can do it, let me do it."

she has tears in her eyes omg! She was soooo worried, poor bby

this scene where we have our two couples on their respective couches while Sam opens up to them about the health stuff she is dealing with. Then supercorp + alex assure her that they are there for her and are a family. That they wont let her deal with it on her own. ugh my heart. (plus the monologue odette gives in this scene is *chefs kiss*)

Kara checking up on Lena. Kara could tell something was wrong earlier but sam and alex showed up before lena could tell her what was wrong so here she is, checking in again. refusing to let Lena close herself off. Lena opens up about a fair bit in this scene and Kara never makes her feel bad for the things she confesses. She simply supports her.

This iconic moment between them. Kara: I'm professionally crafty. lena: *stares at Kara like she is a whole meal*

Kara: "thats what friends are for, we get each other through the dark times" then lena immediately tells her that M*nel is back, no secrets policy type stuff.

Alex tells Sam she isnt dying of cancer or anything and they are all relieved except Sam because if it isnt something medical then wth is wrong with her?? She leaves and they reiterate that they will figure it out, together. They're all dressed so soft in this scene + Lena with her hair down 🙌🙌

I ended up rewatching the entire episode while getting the clips to make these gifs and oh my God I forgot how well fed we were back in season 3!!!

3x12 in particular because we got loads of supercorp, loads of agent reign, AND 2 scenes of super agent reign corp!!

Not to mention how fabulous they all looked throughout the entire episode!

I will never ever understand why they didn't put Alex and Sam together!!! They had so much chemistry and Alex had great chemistry with Ruby, Sam's daughter! And they came right after Alex and Maggie broke up over the whole kid thing!! Yet another missed opportunity from this show!

(I do want to state here that I do love Kelly and obviously I love Esme but this was before them so we're not talking about them lol)

3x12 was so unbelievably good and gay!! I'm still feral for these pairings!

(sorry this episode really sparked something in me lmao)

kara + lena & their gay little outfits / 3.12

[sherrymagic]

Oh Lana, my love, be ready to have me thirsting over Joong every week now 😏🤭

He makes me feel things. from the first time i laid eyes on him. ugh. hot like that with a perfect smile? it's my weakness. yap. i'm admiting to one of mt biggest weakness in men on your tumblr 🤷🏽‍♀️😅

i'm always ready Esme dearest, i have noticed we both weekly thirst over an unspecified amount of folks whether they're the same ones or not and it's way funnier when they match 🫢✨

you've just described me with Yin agashgs but i can totally see that being associated to Joong, that man is... there's minors on this site and there's already a room in hell with my name engraved on it so i better not make it worse, but you've just showed exactly why i feel so seen and understood when it's you so thank you 😌

[deergroove444]

26 cotober 2024 <3

The past couple of days have been so fun stay with hannah is amazing and I haven’t laughed this much in this genuinely is so long. I love being friends with her so much she’s so fun understanding caring accepting welcoming and loving and I love spending time with her and I have laughed so much today and it makes me so happy, because I know that she is a true friend and I really really value her in my life and as a person because she’s absolutely amazing.

 today I went to work and hannah drove me and got a yummy coffee. I was working with Esme and Karli and it was super fun. I love working with them. Heather brought us McDonald’s and I had the orange juice super good and after Esme was clocking out she said that she knows that I will go far in life because I’m really mature and that she basically told me good job made me feel so valued and her so much to me and she’s so caring and she gives amazing advice and she offered to open a bank account with me and to give back the hair dye because it turns out that she didn’t wanna and she’s just so nice and she said that I’m doing something that I’m doing something right because Karli likes me and she’s not easy to crack which made me really excited!! <3 and it made me realise that I am really smart immature and that I understand things that a lot of people don’t and I think about things that other people also don’t even people that are two times my age mature and I really appreciate that because being mature is so important and understanding is so important as well and even though I had to take care of myself i’m glad that I get to have this knowledge and use it in order to make this a better place to be the best version of myself that I can be the best person that I can possibly be. I want to be a great person and I don’t care about be remembered, but I do care about the people who do remember me. I hope they remember me as something, good and hopeful and bright and magnetic and loving.

 after work me and hannah went home and we ate more model and yapped and watched arcane and whenever we’re talking we are loud and I love it because we can have very interesting heated conversations that I love and drama and talked about a bunch of different things and amazing and we both love it so much and the food was good but the thing that happened at work because of the really triggered me like it literally triggered me and today hasn’t been the easiest day mentally but we we powered through we power through walked Daisy and it was really pretty outside and we found so cool books and we had a huge conversation as well as usual about things in society and men and stuff we’ve been talking about that a lot and I find it really cool really interesting and then we went to gather and we went to Luckys to exchange them and she was so so so so so sweet and kind enough. She literally gave me double I think what had I think I had like $11 and she gave me 20 she’s so incredibly sweet oh my God, she bought her lottery ticket and we got heavy whipping cream to make yummy drinks tomorrow and in the evening we dance to Rasputin and try to do yoga but it was way too slow so we did just dance and it was really funny and we are laughing so hard and I haven’t laughed like that in so long so today was really really fun and thankfully I’m staying with them until we will be so grateful and I love staying with them and we made a really yummy Dinner with rice and fried up some veggies together about human body blood our blood is red but our veins are blue which is weird and how red and us stuff upside out and it’s also weird but also cool and really random and how everybody probably sees in a different way and I love that we both understand each other on that level because I met a lot of people here america got along with this we’ve got more comfortable with each other and she said the same thing and I’m just so grateful to have amazing and amazing like that and I’ve seen a huge shift in my mindset and it’s getting better and I am so incredibly grateful and I want to spread that with other people and the lady gave us a free role and that was super fun and it was really good and I’m super grateful love love love love love love I love loving I love feeling I love loving and I love being happy and I love being bright and exciting and I want to keep into that person I love my friend. It makes me feel like warm sunshine and strawberry. <3

[esmeamesart]

Sandra Lynn mentioned in the finale I won we won complicated women won

[coyote-kid-alex]

Is it true you can name every single stuffed animal in your apartment? Can you name them all? - Jane

YES!!!! *cracks knuckles* >:3

Build a bear collection!

Elsa, Penelope, Luna bun, Love-n-hearts, pizza rolls, candy corn unicorn, pastel, lagoon, polar stars, plum, raspberry, Aro, Diego, Jack skellington, chase, everest, tracker, toothless 1 & 2, nightlight 1 2 3, lightfury, pumpkin 1 & 2 *eevee and vaporen*, thunder, pixie, minty, sherbet, peppermint glisten, kings island the racer, sam. Klousey.

Giants/big stuffies

Easter, Todd, Mama, A.x.l

Others/non build a bears.

Coco, cream, jingles, star-belly, lamblamb, puppybun, minty bun, foxy, lovely, prism, wolfie, pillow, Esme, Charlie, sven, vanilla, bingo.

Coyote plushies

Thor, lokie, hala, Oscar, Yip-Yap

Mlp

Sneezy sniffles, pinkie pie, apple jack, twilight sparkle. I had more but they got lost when we moved 😔

[berandapratama-blog]

Esme #20, One more time Esme.

”But you and i, we live and die

The world still spinning round" - Oasis

Esme, surat ke duapuluh. Genap sudah pesan - pesan yang ku kirimkan kepadamu. Nampaknya aku akan terus membiarkanmu hidup dalam kata dan setiap cerita untuk bisa meninggalkan jejak atas apa yang sudah di lakukan. Tak lepas dari sujud syukurku yang selalu mengiringi suratku kepadamu atas apa yang sudah kulalui dan bisa kusampaikan kepadamu Esme. Nampaknya kita memang harus selalu dalam jarak agar surat ini tidak berhenti di duapuluh tak apa, sudah aku habiskan berbulan - bulan di kampung halaman (Banyuwangi) namun tak juga kurasakan kehadiranmu, dan sepertinya sudah seharusnya tidak kau tampakkan dirimu secara utuh. Dengan suratku pun rasaku sudah tersampaikan. Yap, dengan terkirimnya surat ini nanti artinya aku harus segera kengistirahatkan diri, sebab pagi ini harus sering sering cek kondisi indukan kelinci yang sudah gusar Esme, menanti kelahiran rombongan bayi pertamanya, karena ini pertama kalinya ia mengandung. Ku persingkat saja ya.

Esme, jika kita flashback dari awal tahun lalu, 2020 menyadarkanku, bahwa pada akhirya kita harus mensyukuri setiap pertemuan, dengan siapapun dan dalam rangka apapun. Ku urutkan kepadamu. Januari lalu aku terkepung dengan ambisi yang ternyata tak mampu untuk kulakukan, lelaki yang masih bau embun pagi yang berusaha menaklukan jalur pasok dan menabrak semua batasan diri, yap mungkin dirimu sudah menyadarinya, dan februari sampai desember terlarut atas semua hal yang sudah aku lakukan, tak nampak memang. Tapi akhir desember lalu aku mengurai semua yang sudah ku lalui, waktu demi waktu, hari demi hari, jalan berdebu dan langit kelabu. Tahun lalu kita sama Esme, berusaha membunuh waktu dengan mata lebam dan kaki terseok menahan agar tetap bisa berdiri dan menyambut fajar setelah pergantian hari. Semua yang kulakukan adalah demi terlihat menjadi seorang yang sempurna dimata siapapun itu, dengan kepala yang mendongak tajam hati akan selalu berkata mampu padahal otakpun lelah dan terkadang menyerah. Alhasil rasa takut akan salah dan tidak sempurna adalah musuh terbesar, berdampak pada jenjang belajar yang seharusnya terselesaikan. Satu tahun lebih ambisi menyelimuti dan seolah menolak semua masalah yang hadir satu demi satu, kepala masih selalu ingin mendongak dan terakui, tapi waktu demi waktu menyadarkanku setelah semua hal yang kumiliki dan keinginan yang tak kunjung temu menyadarkanku untuk membunuh rasa mampu yang menggebu, hidup dan mati adalah hal yang setiap manusia lalui namun mati dalam keadaan masih hidup adalah hal bodoh. "Think and Grow rich" sebuah buku yang ku selesaikan Desember lalu turut andil atas jawaban untuk apa larut dengan semua kegagalan yang menghantam bertubi - tubi, dengan satu kalimat menohok "Modal terbesar dari manusia adalah badan yang sehat" kalimat tersebut cukup menamparku Esme setelah kesombongan diri sendiri menghambat atas apa yang seharusnya kulakukan dan tidak seharusnya kulakukan. Ayu senantiasa menyadarkanku bahwa aku sudah melalui banyak hal yang tidak semua orang melaluinya, dengan kebebasan mutlak memilih jalam hidup sendiri, dimatanya aku hebat, dimataku lengkap sudah diriku dengan kekurangan yang kumiliki. Darisana aku mensyukuri bahwa semua kegagalan yang kulalui dan jalan hidup yang kumiliki adalah kebebasan mutlak yang tetap bersandar pada batasan dan tanpa merugikan orang lain. Dia menyadarkanku Esme bahwa aku bisa memulai kembali dan melanjutkan apa yang seharusnya dilakukan. Menjaga nalar dan ego adalah kunci karena aku tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan yang diperbuat dan mengurai peluang yang ada, saat ini adalah bagaimana aku benar - benar menjaga nafas dalam bertindak karena harus tepat dalam menerjemahkan apa yang kubutuhkan dari pada yang kuinginkan. Kecerobohan menuntunku dalam gagal dan mengajarkanku untuk remidial.

Saat ini aku menikmati apa yang kumiliki dan semuanya menjadi bagian utuh yang harus senantiasa aku syukuri. Sesederhana kepuasan batinku terpenuhi ketika indukan kelinciku berhasil melalui waktu untuk menghadirkan bayi kelinci.

Te amo

[lilletisims]

“Natalie, you look amazing this evening,” said Isaac. “What town did you say you were from again?

“Brindleton Bay.”

“I’ve heard it’s beautiful there. It’s a shame you had to leave.”

“Yeah, my mum got a new job here.”

The boy continued to yap on about the school and himself until it got dark, He wasn’t self-centred though, he did try to get me to give more information about myself. He played on the soccer team and was apparently a big deal at Newcrest High. I supposed it would be advantageous to date someone like him, so I listened to him drone on and offered up white lies and half truths about myself until he finally said something that piqued my interest.

“I’m so glad you came to the school, Rain seems to really like you,” he said.

“Is that so? She seems really nice. I’m so happy she wants to be my friend.”

“She’s very nice, and so is her friend Esme-”

“How long have you known Rain?”

“I went to primary school with her and our parents are friends so I’ve known her since we were kids. She always had the best toys. I guess that’s what makes you popular when you’re a kid, right?” he laughed. “But Rain is very nice. She makes friends easily. She’s not like those popular girls in the movies.” He laughed again.

“Yeah, she seems lovely. I wish I could be more like her.”

“You’re fine just as you are. Wouldn’t the world be boring if we were all the same?”

“Yeah, I guess so. So, do you know what hobbies Rain likes?”

“I think she likes horseback riding and hiking... shouldn’t you be asking her this?”

[kalpherzamansoldanatar]

— Bak güzelim, dedi. Bak benim birtanem! "Kahraman", "hayın", kişilerin birbirine taktıkları günlük, çoğu boş etiketler olmuş bakıyorsun! Onlara bağımlılık da gülünç! İşimiz bunun için güç. Önemli olan, toplumun değişimindeki, daha geniş anlamıyla tarihin akşındaki doğru çizgide yer almak. Olmuş olacak tüm değerleri yaratanın insan emeği olduğuna inanıyorsan, yaratan insana saygı duyuyorsan, ezip yağmalayanlara savaş açacaksın! Oh, ne kolay reçete değil mi? Bin bir pisliğe bulanmış, karman çorman bir dünyada kolay mı o doğru çizgiyi bulmak? Şu deniz kıyısındaki geniş, asfalt bulvarda bile, bin bir kaza, bin bir tehlike var uyanık olmazsan! Tam doğruyu bulmanın kahrolası güç olduğu yolda kadınlar daha çok acı çekiyor, kuşku yok. Erkekler çekmiyor mu? Çoğu, azı, acı acıdır sonunda! İşi salt kadın erkek kavgasına indirgedin mi çekilenler de boşa gidiyor.

Konuşmayı dudağının alaylı kıvrımındaki bir gülümsemeyle dinliyordu Esme.

— Darılma sevgilim, dedi birden. Dersini iyi bellemiş okul çocuklan gibi anlatıyorsun! Ayrım yapılmamış da hangi çekilen acı boşa gitmemiş bugüne dek; gösterir misin?

Kızdığını belli etmemeye çalıştı Doktor. Sen de dersine hiç çalışmayan haylaz piçlere benziyorsun!

— Yabanıllıktan, ilkellikten, ortaçağcılıktan bugünkü düzeyine nasıl gelirdi insanlık, tüm çekilen acılar boşa gitmiş olsaydı? Söyler misin?

— Evet, birileri acı çekiyor; ortaya çıkardıkları güzelliklere gene acı çektirenler el koyuyor! Şeytanların külahı değişiyor sadece! Külahı kapanlar da erkekler!

Bir gerilim içinde suskun kalmıştı Doktor. Ne bilgiç karısın sen be! Külahı kapan asıl şeytan sensin denmez mi şimdi buna?

— Öyle olmuyor mu?

Kızgınlık dolu bir diretkenlikle bakıyordu Esme. Yeniden mi anlatacaktı her şeyi bu kıza şimdi?

— Öyle oluyor gibi görünüyor ya, öyle olmuyor! Daha önce de geçti aramızda; sözgelimi, Güven'deki kişilerin, Turgutlu-nun, Halillerin, Seherlerin çektikleri, katlandıkları acılar boşuna mı oldu, diyorsun?

— Bilmiyorum, dedi Esme sertçe. Ben böyle bir acıya katlanmayı anlamıyorum bugün. Tarih boyunca yinelenip durmuş bu iş. Sosyalizmi kurunca kurtaracaktınız bizi bu alçaklıktan! Dediğiniz oldu mu Doktor Nahit? Kurtulduk mu?

— Gerçek sosyalizmi kurabildik de mi olmadı?

— Kuramadınız diyenlere hayın diyen de sizdiniz!

Yalan mı kızın dediği?

Duralamadan sürdürdü Esme,

— Kuracaksak doğru dürüst kuralım. Salt erkeklerin kuru sıkı palavralarıyla değil, gerçek akılla olur bu iş! Kadınlarla birlikte olur ancak, olacaksa!

— Kadınlarsız olsun diyen kim?

— Derler mi? Kimseyi salt dedikleriyle değerlendiremezsiniz, demiyor mu Marks?

Evet, öyle der. Gerçekten epeyi şey biliyor bu kız! Vay başıma gelenler! Aksayan bir yanı, bir takıntısı olmasa hani... Sayılan alt alta yazıp topluyor sadece; birbirine çarpmasını bilmiyor! Çarpınca acılar çıkacak ortaya; korkuyor belki ondan da; söylemiyor! Kim korkuyorum diyebiliyor ki? Kim bilir nasıl görüyor o da beni?

— Öyle değil mi canım?

— Ne öyle değil mi?

— Saplantılı, takıntılı bir erkeğim ben! Duraladı Esme,

— Erkekliğin yazgın; kurtulamazsın da, dedi, kuşkulara düştüğün, arayışta olduğun belli senin de! Temel bağlılıklarına bir şey dediğim yok, görüyorsun!

Alaylıca gülerek sürdürdü,

— Belki biraz da utanç belası, eski cicilerini birden atamıyorsun üstünden!

Doğrulur gibi oldu Doktor.

— Yazık ki seninle çatışmamız temelde Esmeciğim. Evet, akıl yardımıyla geçeceğiz sosyalizme de, yığınların tarihsel bir anı yakaladığı çakışmada tüm gücüyle yüklenmesiyle geçeceğiz gene de. Düz, kuru mantıkla, bireyciliğe dönüşmüş, kadındı erkekti hırlaşmalarıyla değil! Bir şeyler getiriyor onlar da derken parçalayarak neleri öte yana taşıdığı gözden kaçıyor aslında! Tarihten çekilmeye yazgılı hiçbir egemen sınıfın o insanca boyun eğme büyüklüğü görülmemiş ama, dileyelim kansız olsun gene de! Her gün kan dökülüyor aslında ya, tarihsel anlar, pislik içinde bin bir oyunla kaçırılırsa daha da çok dökülür kan. Kan dökülmekle de kalmaz bu nükleer çağda, evrensel trajedi olur! Evet durum bu!

Doğrunun yengisi için, bugün de gereğinde yiğitçe acılara katlanmak düşüyor kimilerine ne yapalım ki!

— İnanmıyorum böyle bir zorunluğa, o acıya da katlanmayacağım sevgilim! Kadınlara hiçbir şey getirmedi çektikleri!

Sevecen bir gülümsemeyle bakmaya başladı Doktor,

— Ne yapayım ki erkeğim, ben de seni çok seviyorum Esmeciğim, dedi. O acıya ben yazgılıyım demek ki! Başka ne yapabilirim, seve seve katlanacağım!

Güldü Esme. Bir yudum aldı rakısından.

— Hep böyle kandırdınız! Sana kahramanlık düşer sevgilim, erkeksin! Acılar kadınların payı! İşlediğin suçu açıklamış oldun değil mi canım?

Doktor da yudumladı rakısını.

— Suçluyum! Ne yapacaksan yap sevgilim!

— Romanından başlayalım! Emekçilerden yanayım diyorsun, tembelsin, dalgacısın! Yalan mı?

— Doğru!

— Yiğitliği övüyorsun; Romana başlamak yürekliliğini gösteremiyorsun bir türlü! Yalan mı?

— Doğru sayılır!

— Kadınlara çektirdiğin acıların cezasına katlanmak ağırına gidiyor; öyle değil mi sevgilim?

— Hayır değil! Kadınların bana çektirdiği acıların cezasını kim çekecek?

— Benim çekmemi istiyor musun?

— Nasıl isteyebilirim?

— İsteyebilirsin!

— Tüm erkeklerin cezasını bana çektirmeye kalkışman gibi mi? Senin kadar acımasız olamam sevgilim.

— Ben kadın sorumluluğumu üstleniyorum. Sen de erkek sorumluluğundan kaçmadın mı eşit konuşmaya başlarız!

Vedat Türkali, Kayıp Romanlar