#fic: the problem of pain

[aggressivelyaverage21]

Once A Rookie Chapter 21: Isaiah 41:10

Do not fear, because I am with you; don't be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will hold you with my strong righteous hand.

Beatrice gets a little bit distracted in the team meeting. Shannon has a few lessons for her, but not before she gets to spend some time with her person.

Beatrice.” Shannon called her attention back to the meeting. It wasn’t like Beatrice hadn’t been paying attention. She’d taken notes even, much to Mary’s amusement and Lilith’s annoyance. However, toward the end she's apparently entered that little world her mind sometimes took her to as she began running through what Shannon and Mary had been saying. 

Beatrice looked up, her ears burning like she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to, even if she’d been attentive until she was required to respond. It was bad luck, or bad timing. Either way, it was her fault. Beatrice never understood why her mind sometimes did this even when things were so important and she was doing everything to stay engaged. “Yes. Sorry.”

Lilith scoffed. Apparently that hadn’t been the appropriate response. Or, just the fact that Beatrice was apparently too good to pay proper attention. It was a rookie mistake if she’d ever seen one. Assignments were dangerous. The briefs were important, and Shannon’s were the best out of anyone’s. 

Shannon didn’t quite know what to make of it. The kid had been taking notes the whole brief. She wanted to be annoyed that Beatrice’s focus had dropped off but it also didn’t make any sense. So rather than jumping down Beatrice’s throat, and likely destroying any relationship they had built to this point, Shannon decided to repeat herself and tackle that problem later. “You are still probationary. I do not want you engaging in any conflict. You will follow and learn. You are to be attached to my hip the entire time. Is that clear?” 

“Yes.” Beatrice’s face flushed. Shannon was handling it well but she knew she’d displeased her mentor by the slight flex of her jaw. 

“What are you to do if we encounter any conflict?” 

“Stay out of the way. Follow instructions.” 

“Good.” Shannon turned to erase the whiteboard she’d thrown the important details up on over a laminated map of the area for the assignment. “As long as there are no questions?” 

“I’m all set.” Lilith nodded, pushing her chair back from the table. Her first year or so she would keep Shannon well after she finished her briefs to go through every little detail, ask questions, try to figure out how Shannon was making her decisions. It helped her understand but mostly she just wanted to learn. Shannon was happy to teach her, but ultimately she’d decided to just let Lilith help in the initial planning to save herself some time on the back end but also to develop the aspiring Warrior Nun.  

“I’m good to go, Shan.” Mary hopped off her perch on the table. She always appreciated how Shannon kept these briefs, brief. Direct. Succinct. Clear. 

She was a master at it. No pun intended. 

It was something Mary wished for when she was subbing in on different teams. The simplicity of it. The confidence. She was seasoned enough not to really get nervous anymore. It was a little dour but Mary figured either the assignment would go well or it wouldn’t. Worrying about it either way was not something that helped regardless. But having a confidant, competent, team lead was always appreciated. 

Having Shannon was always appreciated. In more ways than one.  

“We will head out mid morning. Don’t worry about training this afternoon.” 

“But Sister Helena—” It wasn’t that Lilith was particularly concerned about missing training. No. She was more concerned about getting as much time with the Warrior Nun as much as she possibly could. It was the only thing she’d been aspiring for for her entire life. She wanted to learn as much as she could, but she also wanted to get as much face time as she could to help her chances of making the pressures of her family a reality. 

She didn’t know what she would do if she let that legacy down. 

“Lilith, you can attend if you would like but I would prefer if you used the time to prepare and rest. We have been pushing hard, and Helena and Aita will be here for a while. The plan is for us to train together once we return from this assignment.” Sometimes Shannon wondered if Lilith ever wouldn’t feel the need to challenge her. 

It was different than when Mary did it. Mary did it to push her in the right direction. It was a call out. A push back. But it was never for the explicit purpose of challenging her authority. It was to help. 

Sometimes Lilith just couldn’t help herself. Always pushing back just that little bit. Just enough to make Shannon’s life a little more difficult. Just enough to make it clear exactly where Lilith’s aspirations continued to lie. 

Lilith didn’t bother to respond before she went off to do whatever it was Lilith did. Shannon’s position was clear. Clear enough she knew better than to challenge it. 

Kissing ass at a training session she didn’t need was not going to be a worthwhile use of her time. 

She knew it. Shannon knew it. She knew that Shannon knew she knew it. And around their understanding went. 

It never helped that when Lilith chose to press like that, Mary found it endlessly amusing. It was like a kid pressing their parent’s boundaries just to see where the line was. Lilith was professional enough, and competent enough to do it when there was no real consequence to the challenge. Where nothing was at stake. It helped keep Shannon on her toes enough– kept her grounded enough. It also gave Mary an excuse to tease her, and more importantly it gave her an in when Shannon actually needed to be challenged. 

It wasn’t like Shannon didn’t do the same thing. 

Sometimes it was a fun thing to remind her of, that in the end, it was her own fault for the example she set– even if Shannon’s motivations were slightly less… self-serving when she challenged Mother Superion. She pushed back against Mother Superion more than anyone Mary had ever seen. To include Helena and Aitana who, in theory, had more legs to stand on as far as the hierarchy went, even if it wasn’t by much. Aside from the heads of the other chapters the three of the women were the highest ranking operational sister warriors in the entire order. 

Shannon watched Lilith leave the brief but not without sighing and looking to Mary. She didn’t know what she was hoping for out of that interaction but it wasn’t Mary’s very predictable shrug like ‘don’t look at me’ wasn’t it. Shannon sighed before she turned back to the rookie that actually needed some training, “Beatrice, tonight after dinner I’m going to walk you through how we set everything up. But, speaking of dinner, you should know we will probably be two people more crowded.” 

“Oh, okay.” Beatrice wished in that moment she’d figured out how to control the blood flow to her face, because she felt it draining enough she knew her cheeks would grow pale beneath her freckles. She wasn’t included in the group yet. It made sense. She hadn’t earned it yet. Of course they would need her seat at dinner to make room for the Warrior Nun and Sister Aitana. “What time would you like me to meet you after dinner—” 

“Meet me after dinner?” Shannon repeated trailing off the end as she tried to figure out why Beatrice looked so damn stricken. “ What? No.” Shannon shook her head looking at Mary as if she needed her help. “I’m just letting you know so you can adjust expectations and aren’t caught off guard. Dinner might be a little bit more lively than usual, that’s all.” 

“Oh.” Inside Beatrice’s chest the warmth of the care Shannon took with her was at war with the embarrassment of Shannon having picked up on… anything at all really. Again. There she was. Being accommodated. For what, Beatrice didn’t know exactly, but having her comfort looked out for like this wasn’t something she was sure wouldn’t ever not throw her. “I thought–” 

Shannon was at a loss. She could only tell the young sister so many times that she didn’t have to worry about it. 

Well, that wasn’t true. 

She could repeat it until Beatrice believed it. She could keep doing it just to make it clear. But she didn’t know what to do to get Beatrice to actually trust it. It hurt– to think about what in Beatrice’s past made her this ready to just be cast aside by people who so clearly cared for her. 

Yet none of that was coming to Shannon in words as she looked at the shock written in Beatrice’s wide eyes. 

God damn it. “Kid.” Mary was at a loss too, but she had it a little more in hand than Shannon at the moment. She didn’t take it so personally when Beatrice still didn’t completely trust her acceptance amongst them. Not like Shannon. “You are one of us now. Of course you’re included in the plans. Unless you are specifically told not to join, it is assumed that you will be with us. We want you here, Beatrice. You wouldn’t be here if we didn’t. So trust your team, okay?” 

KEEP READING

[bittersqxtch]

[phoenixcatch7]

Loz fandom stop being angsty and give the daydreaming kids on big fun adventures with a cool glowing sword some actual whimsy and joy challenge

[tumble-tv]

Writing fanfic about a very mentally unstable character because fistfighting my doctors isn't right

[aro-in-danyl]

S1E9 TimeTravel AU - Jayce enlists Jinx to blow up the HexGates. Cait and Vi bond over their siblings going crazy. Silco is tired.

Ekko arrives a bit earlier just as Jayce is shooting Viktor in the chest. Jayce gets sent back in time somehow from the combined power of the Z-Drive and the Commune's collective death.

Jayce's consciousness rockets back in time and splices with his younger self just as he's finished 'negotiating' with Silco. Still reeling from his Arcane induced-trauma and killing his partner as well as who knows how many people by proxy, he arrives half feral and about 99.7% convinced he's either hallucinating or in Runeterra's version of Hell.

Jayce, canonically suicidal, Talis comes to the conclusion that he needs to blow up the Hex Gates and that the resulting explosions will either jar him out of his hallucination or finally put him out his misery and let him join Viktor.

Unfortunately, after months spent in isolation in an apocalyptic future, Jayce has gained an unfortunate habit of talking to himself as he figures out problems.

And Silco has been standing there the whole time.

Silco reiterates that he's not going to give up Jinx and Jayce just goes 'I don't give a fuck about her anymore' and attempts to leave.

Silco is absolutely befuddled by Jayce's complete personality change, but refuses to show it. After raising Jinx, he's learned a few methods for bringing people back from the edge. And considering his investment in getting access to the Hex Gates, he is very unwilling to let Jayce just walk away.

Especially when Jayce mentions he's supposed to be dead.

----

Silco convinces Jayce he'll need an explosions expert and that he'd never be able to blow up all the Hex Gates by himself. Jayce holds resentment for Jinx blowing up his partner and pseudo-sister's mom but had calmed down enough to realize that if he was in the past, it would be better to be close to Jinx and prevent history from repeating itself.

Cue Silco and Sevika having to wrangle Arcane-ified Jayce and Shimmered Jinx and prevent them both from causing Hexplosions.

Jayce, dis-illusioned with the Council, decides it would be faster to just pull a Viktor and 'not ask for permission' before destroying Hextech. He tells Silco that if he's willing to help destroy the Hex Gates, he'll give him his nation of Zaun -- and pardon Jinx.

---

Elsewhere, in Piltover, Viktor has collapsed in the lab and entered a coma. There's a strange pattern on his chest and back. Almost as if he'd been shot with a very powerful energy blast from a very large hammer. But no injury, it was as if it had already been healed.

---

When Jinx kidnaps Cait and Vi, Jayce is the one to ask her to spare Cait and let her leave. But also, the one to stop Cait from shooting Jinx.

"Stand down, Sprout."

"What are you doing! She's killed people Jayce."

"So have I. And I need her." Jayce is still suffering hallucinations and time-travel-induced jetlag, so in the tense moment he forget when he is and admits to killing Salo and blowing a hole through Viktor's chest.

Caitlyn is more shocked by the latter, "You-you killed Viktor?" She liked Viktor as a friend, they got along despite their differences. "Why? Why would you do that!"

Jayce, dissociating and in complete sincerity, "Because I needed to save him."

Following that insane response, Jayce slowly walks toward Cait with a pleading look in his eye, "Jinx is going to help me destroy HexTech and then we can save everyone. And then I can focus on curing Viktor!"

Cait looks into Jayce's -her brother's- eyes and understands Vi a little bit more, her desperation to see the good in Jinx.

Caitlyn can see her brother in this stranger's eyes, but he feels miles away. She has no idea how she's going to reach him.

[inkandpaperqwerty]

[ananke-xiii]

I literally don't care about Dean teaching Jack how to drive&fish but I absolutely need a fic with Sam, Rowena and Cas going to meet the shaman Sergei who was recommended by none other than Ketch. Cas huffs and puffs about it for the whole drive, Rowena complains about Sam driving too slow and Sam thinks about driving them all into a cliff, the thought of dying Jack is the only thing keeping them all alive. What's even worse? The ride back home. With Sergei. Level of "I'd rather be in the pit of hell than in this car with you all" over nine thousand. It's, again, the thought of a dying Jack that keeps them all safe from eternal damnation because these people would otherwise Commit Crimes&Sacrileges.

[amrv-5]

Going to walk into the fucking water 🙏👍🚶➡️🌊

[possamble]

I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way

[djappleblush]

"This fic is not abandoned," "Next chapter coming right up!" "Apologies for the cliffhanger; the wait will be worth it,"

advertised the fanfic author whose work was written in the 1500s.

[th3archivisst]

Writing is like watching a mildly interesting Netflix program.

It’s fun, and when you start you spend hours on it, but if you make the mistake of taking a break before you’re done, say goodbye to finishing it that month.

[aggressivelyaverage21]

Shannon's short spring break trip back home is perfect until it isn't... Her life goes up in flames- the only question is, will she run toward it or run away?

Breakfast at O’Connell’s was everything Shannon had always loved about it. Firefighters getting off shift rotated through as heaping plates of the best breakfast in New York slid in front of them. Shannon was lucky enough to have Lucky pressed up against her leg and her dad across the table from her, sipping on coffee and laughing as she regaled him with tales from training and school. 

She’d do anything to make him smile. Anything to prove to him that she was training and doing okay all those states away most of the year. He would do the same—stories from the firehouse, stories from calls– any and all of them really. Shannon liked hearing about even the boring ones. Even old stories about Jo and Benny that she’d heard only a thousand times. 

Oldman O’Connell kept their mugs full, though he always protested that Shannon was too young for coffee and should be having hot chocolate instead. He also brought out an extra plate of the good bacon and two house donuts alongside Shannon’s order of the house special—Irish Benedict. 

The rest of the day went more of the same. On their way back to the house, Shannon’s smile almost split her face when her dad’s truck rolled to a stop by their fishing spot in the Hudson. She hadn’t even noticed their poles or the tackle box in the back of the truck. Lucky was wagging his tail so hard it was pretty clear he was just as excited as Shannon was. 

It was the best spot. There was a good view of the city from here, it was quiet, never very crowded. The only problem was that they never really caught much. Not that they ever ate them, it was more of a catch-and-release program than anything else. They kept the ones when they went upstate, but the catching was never really what mattered to Shannon. 

She just liked spending time with her dad. Sometimes, they would talk. Sometimes, they wouldn’t. Sometimes, they would talk about the hard stuff. Sometimes, they just listened to the water and whatever it was around them. Sometimes, Aunt Jo would come and play fetch with Lucky and talk trash about them not being any good at fishing. 

Today, it was some of all of it. There was the talking about Shannon still wanting to join FD when she graduated college, and Lucky nosing his ball into her foot for her to toss, her dad watching her carefully, not wanting to pry but feeling like there was something Shannon wasn’t telling him.  There weren’t any bites, just enjoying the repetitiveness of tossing a long cast of the line over her shoulder, and slowly reeling it back in. It was always such a mindless rhythm. 

It was everything Shannon hoped her short stop in New York might be, especially when Jo met up with them as they were pulling back into the driveway. They were planning on doing a little workout. The whole day had gone great. The workout back at Paddy’s Field behind the playground was everything that had gotten her ready to play soccer at such a high level. After their run (a little slower this time to let Lucky keep up with them with his aging hips and her Dad’s trick knee), they moved to the agility ladder and some weighted movements using the sandbags they usually kept behind the bushes since no one was ever back here. Shannon brought her soccer ball, too. 

Having it at her feet while Jo and Lucky tried to play defense. Her dad was attempting to play goalie against the rusted fence that had served as their goal for many years. Soccer was never his favorite, but when Shannon told him that she was choosing it over basketball, he got on board so fast. As long as his little girl loved it, he would love it, too. 

The walk back to the house was just as nostalgic as the rest of the day had been. Debating what place to order takeout from. Lucky trotted happily next to her, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as she held her soccer ball under her arm against her hip. The way he looked up at her was maybe one of Shannon’s favorite things in the world. Her dad loved her, Jo loved her, she had all the guys at the firehouse, but Lucky? Lucky looked at her like Shannon was his entire world. 

Jo always joked with her that she shouldn’t ever be with anyone who didn’t look at her with at least half as much love as Lucky did. Then she would quickly accuse Shannon of feeding Lucky scraps under the table because that was by far the easiest way to buy his affections. 

Her dad and Jo were joking on either side of her as they walked too. Talking idly, occasionally making comments about their old age and how it wasn’t fair that Shannon could outpace her dad now. Always making excuses even if he winked after them. His kid was an athlete , and of course, she was going to wipe the floor with him in anything athletic. He was far past being ‘man enough’ to take that away from her. He would give her all the credit she was due. His kid would own every bit of confidence she should. He would make sure of that. 

They turned off Van Cortland Park to head past Jo’s apartment. Shannon never understood why Jo didn’t just live with them. She was over at the Masters’ house most nights they weren’t on shift anyway, or Shannon was spending the night in her own room. Now being a little bit older, Shannon wondered if it was so Aunt Jo could have her own space when she wanted. Or if she ever decided to date anyone, though no one had ever really been around.

Shannon was snapped from her thoughts when the smell of smoke on the wind hit her in the face. The two career firefighters on either side of her immediately stopped their bickering to swing their heads to look for the source. 

Shannon Shannon saw the plumeof smoke first. A little bit down the street, she saw it. The tall columnof dark smoke rose above the trees next to a very familiar corner. “Is that…” 

“Sean.” Jo’s face flashed pale as she looked at her best friend. 

Shannon was right. It was her apartment building, and by the lack of sirens in the distance… well, it just wasn’t good. 

Jo took off at a sprint. 

Sean looked at Shannon before following Jo. 

Shannon dropped her soccer ball—

the soccer ball she’d had since she had been in middle school, it was torn to hell, but it was hers — 

—it bounced on the pavement as she chased after her dad and Jo.

Keep Reading

[stasyalovem]

"But what could he say to him in the end? I'm sorry, mate, I still can't tell if I'm really in love with you, but every time you look at me so insightfully with your amazingly beautiful eyes, it seems that the universe stops spinning; or when we embrace, escaping yet another danger, I force myself to let go because I'm so afraid of losing you again."

a little story in which Charles tries to understand his feelings and finally realizes that he has been in love with Edwin all these years.

this show and two silly ghosts in love captivated me so much that I was forced to create an account on ao3:) I'll be very grateful if you read this and give me a little feedback <3

[kuroshitsuji-sama]

hiiii this is oddly specific but I was wondering if you had any sebaciel fic recommendations that follow the manga but reframe the canon, if that makes sense?

Ohhh dig my wounds and eat my dead body, if you will😭

I know exactly what you mean, it make sense because I can only dream about that kind of fic. I personally don't know anything similar to it, BUT!!!! I know fic that type - it follows first and second season of Kuroshitsuji and it's very good I promise. If you already don't know for this one - Those Gentle Slopes that Lead to Hell (whole fandom knows this fic🤣)

I would like to see more canon reframed sebaciel stories, especially manga part, Emerald arc and so much more but....seems like people in this fandom like to make Sebastiana nd Ciel OOC more than writing them in canon. Can't judge them because they are complicated characters, not for everyone, but still I am so sad😫

People, feel free to drop you favorite SebaCiel canon fic, if you have any😅

[mamawasatesttube]

uh oh i can feel myself getting bogged down in the perfectionism sauce again... i need to write smth stupid and self indulgent ough

[adhdprincess]

Ao3's new disclaimer is wild 😮