#fic: tell me how this story ends
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hi so i watched the supergirl finale. and like. what the fuck guys.
that might have been the biggest queer analogy i've ever seen without it being explicitly stated. the whole talk where kara compares how she feels like she's been trapped, how she's been hiding and never living her authentic truth to alex feeling free and joyful with her wife.
the life she wants to have. the metaphors of her not feeling ready to come out. the constant parallels to alex's journey and her wedding vows resonating with kara so deeply. CAT SAYING "most of all, i hope you choose to become your full self."
TEARS. CRYING. LIKE HAPPY PRIDE MONTH??? I GUESS???
and then, AND THEN- out of every single person, lena luthor is the one she has her last conversation with. she is the one to support her, to believe in her, like she always has. lena comparing how both of them were always being told who they were supposed to be, the roles society set up for them, and how they both defied it by becoming friends.
no, because don't get me started with how lillian said in the very beginning of the episode to lena: "live your life the way you want to live it." the insane queer metaphors and parallels with her magic being programmed out of her as a kid because 'it wasn't how the luthor family was supposed to be".
lena turning to kara in that conversation, saying she's finally living her own life and it feels amazing, inviting kara to join her and go through and take on that journey together. kara wondering how it would feel like to connect with someone as her full self NOT KNOWING THAT PERSON IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER? lena just responding "i think it'd be empowering" WISTFULLY? i can't do this guys i sobbed.
like TF DO YOU MEAN "i didn't get to grow up to be the person i was supposed to be, and i think it's the same for you" and "i give people speeches on how to live their best lives, but i'm too afraid to live my own".
also, ain't no way they killed off william AND made mon-el come back JUST to confirm that ship was never becoming canon. the writers really said yeah, both of them will be the only people at the wedding with absolutely no other love interests except each other!!
finally, on a less serious note, in that last cat + kara conversation, the way she said-
"i just feel..."
"bi...furcated?"
and i was like LMAO WAS CAT JUST GONNA SAY "KARA, YOU'RE BI GIRLIE."
tl;dr: that was an insane show to go through, i can only imagine how the fans reacted, but man. queerbaiting's really something isn't it. i'm gonna cry and read more supercorp fanfiction.
#oh and the whole kara vs supergirl thing theyve had this overarching story with the whole show#and how kara feels like she doesn't deserve to be human and be KARA bc the whole world's on her shoulders#and lena being the one to tell her she loves kara danvers not supergirl again and again like she's the only one (beside alex)#to see her as her true self and love her for all that she is#like “supergirl may have saved me but kara danvers you are my hero”#like r u kidftin me youve got to be joe king youre lichterally joe king#i was waiting for a she ra level ending where kara is asked what she wants not what the world wants and she chooses lena#guys please i need a catradora level fix it fic#supergirl#fandom rant#supercorp#lena luthor#kara danvers#my ships#mine#lena x kara#kara zor el#supergirl finale#supercorp canon#supercorp rant
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Preparing myself to read a Persona 5 fic because it sounds super interesting but Maruki is a tagged character which means there's like a 70% chance that he's being mischaracterized
#if someone can recommend me fics where this Doesn't Happen i would be so glad#i will still read it either way but it's just a pet peeve#why can't y'all comprehend moral greyness#maruki ISN'T AN EVIL SUPERVILLAIN#HE'S NOT EVEN EVIL#i've written fics btw i'm not trying to sound ungrateful or anything. like i said i will read them#but it's not just with fics like he gets mischaracterized So Much from literally everywhere in the fandom#how did you play through the entirety of persona 5 royal and come to teh conclusion that maruki is an evil man#who manipulated teenagers because he is malicious and horrible#when the story quite literally tells you. that he is NOT an evil horrible person#i'm not gonna deny that he manipulated teenagers into playing into his plan but he is most definitely not evil#nor did he do it with malicious intent. nuance DOES MATTER 😃#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#takuto maruki#maruki takuto#fuck that teh up there i'm not going back to fix it i'll just sound like a cringe 13 year old on tumblr in 2014#i'm not saying you can't criticize him i'm saying that acting like he's evil on a shido level or even Near that is stupid#because. again. maruki is a morally grey antagonist. he is NOT MALICIOUS.#i notice it's usually akechi fans who do this because of akechi's attitude towards maruki in-game#akechi has been one of my favorite characters ever even since vanilla p5 when the ending to his character arc kinda sucked#but him being one of my favorite characters does not impact my ability to read analyze and comprehend text#i think the persona fandom in general should try it sometime 👍
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Normally I'm a "canon compliant" kind of fan, but because I hate AC:Valhalla's lore so much, I have decided to be absolutely delulu™ about Mirage. Basim is fine. He defeated his djinn. He knows about Loki but Loki isn't A Thing for him. He's living a totally healthy and normal life as an Assassin and he pets all the cats in Baghdad. Yes he meets Eivor (and Altaïr and Kassandra) at some point but they are ✨best friends✨ and only fight about who pays for food. Enkidu still loves him; Roshan eventually comes back around. None of the convoluted nonsense from Valhalla happens and everyone lives as happily ever after as Assassins possibly can. This is my reality and all of you have to deal with it. 😤
#assassin's creed#assassin's creed mirage#ac basim#basim ibn ishaq#fix-it fic#the good timeline#the good ending#assassin's creed au#normally I like sticking with canon regardless of how simple/complicated the lore is#but valhalla is Not It so therefore it no longer exists to me#mirage is basim's only story and you can't tell me otherwise#mirage spoilers#ac mirage spoilers#assassin's creed spoilers
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chromatic (kirishima fic) update
how it started, chromatic v1:
how it’s (maybe) going, subject to change:
ive just started part III btw
#[❀] — talks!#sorry SDFHLDH i needed to rant somewhere it's not going . just thought of a plot device that complicates everything#by 3x but is necessary for the story i want to tell . all i will say is that ill be so impressed if i actually finish this#and i will also be impressed if i somehow manage to fit it into oneshot form#im tweaking sooo bad reader might as well be a whole oc ahsdsjd#romance where... kirishima where... would anyone even read 50k words of like (basically) character/trauma analysis#<- yeah me i'm so giddy when i try to cosplay the second coming of gege akutami towards my mc#i actually need to learn how to characterize characters and . study the manga instead of going off of vague impressions LFJDSK#one day i will write a proper canon character-driven shortfic or an actual longfic 💔#ik i said end of summer but this. this is the reason i am not posting writing. sorry !#will still be around to chat/rb tho!! and get through the 13 fics on my drafts tbr list shgdkjadls.. soon....#<- if u've gotten here thank u !! sending hugs n lots of love <3
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My favorite works in no particular order:
Tipsy Tales (Anemo Boys)
Symbiosis (Ayato)
What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)
Hello How Are You (Gorou)
Follow the Wind II (Kazuha)
Of the Same Coin (Mika)
Songs of the Wind (Venti)
Nothing Lasts Forever (Yae Miko)
Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness (Zhongli)
Of Hopes and Prayers (Zhongli)
#about me#it actually is a coincidence that majority are from different characters and not the same#so in like manner as another list i gave a while back i shall give fun facts about each#tipsy tales - one day i will update the post to include wanderer and will not tell anyone or reblog it#symbiosis - one of my favorite readers. i just like the way they speak. i dont have a full story planned for them as of yet#what destiny has brought - in truth i cannot stand fischl. she annoys me. i only wrote this bc i wanted her to stop being so delusional#hello how are you - tbh i only like this bc i think i absolutely nailed the voice and characterization. one day i will write a sequel#follow the wind ii - probably my all time favorite work. features one of the few kisses i have ever written.#(cont) but it cant be understood without reading the first chapter and my thoughts on kazuha as a character#of the same coin - i'll be honest i just think this is cute. i think this fic has one of my highest reblog to notes ratios#songs of the wind - the vibes are good with this one. like the first chapter has good vibes but this chapter is even better. very warm#nothing lasts forever - i wanted to write yae in a moment of weakness. i think i did a good job#sharing a drink they call loneliness - the amateurness of the writing now makes me wince but.... the catharsis and ending is still top notch#(cont) i had a point i wanted to make with this fic and smashed it out of the ballpark#of hopes and dreams - probably the most romantic fic in the series and its a deleted scene lmao. still like how i wrote it though#i forgot to say that these arent necessarily my best written fics#they're just the fics i personally like the best#honorable mentions are:#telling them off (ayato)#completely covered in red (ayato)#simple (alhaitham)#follow the wind i (another one i completely nailed the voice and characterization for in my humble opinion)#secret identities and whatnot (venti/xiao)#indulgence (wriothesley)#slitherer-outer (zhongli)#i know i'm kinda feeling myself in this post but nobody is gonna read it anyway except for u slo so i'm fine with that <3
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alright, this isn’t related to HBT at all, but I like it too much not to share. so, say hello to the Spirit Au!!
starting with Casey, The Spirit of the Night.
I’ve got more drawings of him since he’s my fav to draw. Now for his lore!!
Casey lived his whole life in service of The Celestial in the Spirit Tree. He loved Celestial, and devoted his everything to Them. The Celestial is the master of the spirits. The God of gods. The highest of high. He is the one who creates spirits. And Casey was soon to become one. Everyone knows that Celestial was planning on appointing spirits for the Day and the Night. And Casey and his twin were the top options. They were closer than ever. They were never apart. They did everything together. But Casey was the one who worked hardest to earn Celestial’s approval. He worked so hard to be chosen for the spirit of the Day. The most important. The sun, the light, the bringer of life and happiness. But when the time came, and Celestial was choosing who would be which spirit, all that work went to waste. It was all for nothing. Because they chose Dellta. They chose her over him. She never did anything to deserve that. Of course Casey loved his twin. But Dellta was the one who relaxed all day. Played in favor of working. Acted like everything was fine and that they had all they could ever want. But Celestial chose her anyway. Why? Why not him? After everything he did for them, all the hard work, all the hours of labor, all the time he spent trying to please them. Was it all for nothing? His sister was overjoyed, but all Casey could feel was anger and despair. And then Celestial made him the spirit of the Night. The moon, the darkness, the bringer of death and sorrow. The least liked. Casey knew that some people down on earth worshiped the moon, but those people were the poor and the weak. The smallest of villages. And it wasn’t even power that Casey wanted. It was just that he had done everything he could for Celestial, only for them to completely disregard him. He hates that. He hates Celestial. He might have even hated Dellta and her joyful smile at that moment.
Also Casey Sketches!!
Oke, now for Dellta! I only have one drawing of her for now, but I definitely want to draw her some more.
Lore time!!!
Dellta had always been the happier of the twins. She played more with the other immortals and spirits while her brother worked to please the Celestial. She knew how important Celestial was, but she didn’t see why Casey had to put all his time towards making them favor him. And she never expected to be chosen for the spirit of the Day. Celestial just gave the role to her. Which meant she had somehow become his favorite. After that, she started doing just what her brother had been doing. Following the Celestial around in her free time and doing things for them to make their view of her even better. She also loved being worshipped. She really enjoyed all the offerings and gifts she received from the humans. And she loved making them all super excited when she sent them a little sign or a gift in return. She was certainly more enthusiastic about being worshipped by the mortals than her brother. She guessed that he just didn’t like the fact that all their offerings were either sacrifices or charms or the occasional food basket. Plus, he had become much quieter and distant ever since the ceremony. Dellta didn’t know why. He had become a spirit, just like he wanted. Was he hoping for something else. She didn’t know. But whenever she asked, he avoided the questions and brushed her off, pushing her further and further away. While they still did almost everything together and they were still extremely close, Casey just started to want to be alone more often and he refused to explain why. He still smiled, but not as often. He still hugged her, but they became shorter. He still loved her, and she still loved him. But he had changed. And there was nothing Dellta could do about it. She couldn’t figure out why he had become like this, he just had. But she stopped caring after a while. She just started putting her attention towards her worshippers when Casey didn’t want to talk to her.
I don’t have any extra drawings of Dellta, but I have a picture of the mountain!
The giant tree in the middle is the Spirit Tree, which serves as the bridge between the earth and the sky. The mountain is famous for being the largest and most spiritual mountain because that’s where the immortals all gather. Also, the city shown is the Foot Clan. They worship the Spirit of the Day, aka Dellta. Although they get a few things wrong about her. Like how they think that Dellta and Casey are the “Lovers of the Sky”. Casey is worshipped by the Hamato clan, which is in the other side of the mountain. Their village is much smaller and poorer than the Foot, but they know more about the spirits and have connections with a few of them. The Hamato Clan mains are The turtles(but in older form, around 20-23), Splinter(the elder/leader of the village and the most connected with the spirits), usagi(because I can), and april(one of the few humans in the hamato village), and Junior(my version Casey Jones in the au. i just called him Junior since two Caseys would be confusing. also one of the few humans in the hamato village.). The hamato clan is also the only village that is home to mostly yokai and a few humans, while the foot only consist of humans. Also in this Au the turtles aren’t the sons of splinter, just his pupils. They are also all yokai, including splinter. The hamato clan mostly gives blood sacrifices of normal animals and sometimes bowls of blood from people cutting their hands and dropping some of their blood into the bowl since the Night Spirit is supposed to be closely connected to death. Although they also have plenty of shrines with statues and a TON of charms. Charms are a very big thing for the hamato, and they are supposed to hold prayers. Casey is technically supposed to collect the charms at the end of the week during the night and turn the prayers into stars for the people who made them, but he doesn’t like going so close to the village. Also because when he first went down there he found that they had left a dead sheep for him and he hated it. So, for fear he might find more dead things, he didn’t go back there again. Sometimes he will find small charms hung up all over trees that have mushrooms on them and he absolutely loves them. Although he’ll never admit it and he leaves the charms there. Because of this, the hamato people have begun to lose faith in splinter because he is the one constantly telling them to believe in the Night Spirit. Even the turtles have started questioning the spirits, especially donnie who was already skeptical in the first place. not mikey though. he still believes just as much as Splinter. The foot clan, however, all are VERY serious about their faith in the spirits. they have a huge temple dedicated purely for the Day Spirit, and also worship some other spirits too. even the Night Spirit. although Casey doesn't like them either since they also give blood sacrifices, with no charms too! Dellta, on the other hand, loves to go down and see the humans in the Foot. She'd always been fond of sparring, so when she first saw that they Foot were very centered around fighting she was ecstatic and loved watching them train in the grounds in the center of the city. although she had to stay hidden the whole time since she was only supposed to show herself to the people on special events. also, the only time she went to the Hamato clan was during the total solar eclipse since that's when the twins are supposed to go to their opposite villages and use magic to put their symbol on the banners of their opposite representation(sun on the moon banner, moon on the sun banner for example).
anyways, I hope you like this! if you can't tell, this will be mostly centered around the Hamato Clan and Casey. i hope to be able to make more art of this cause it is SO. MUCH. FUN. to draw these guys and build more of the story. i've already got so many ideas for angst floating around in my head, as well as ideas for when Mikey meets Casey for the first time.
also this is very much inspired by Quilt Au by @cokoweee :)
#Not HBT#now i have two AUs!#Spirit Au#OC#My World#I still have so much more story to this#maybe ill try writing stuff rather than drawing#ive seen how much people like fics n' stuff#i might try it out#im not a very good writer tho#guys!!!#tell me if you want me to try writing a fic on tumblr!!#it sounds fun!#but i might end making it super jumbled up#although drawing a comic for this would take#SO#LONG#and i dont have enough coffee or motivation to draw that much#it could end up really good if i do it right#i need ya'll to tell me if i should try writing for this au#please#tell me in the ask box#rottmnt#actually this time#i have the turtles as main characters finally#yay#:)
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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I know Merlin’s magic remaining secret from everyone and him being left without a support system was integral to the eventual tragedy of the show and the self-fulfilling prophecy of it all, but I still really wish we got magic reveals with every character and magical shenanigans. Lancelot was one of my favorite characters and we only get him for a few episodes. And Gwaine would have been an excellent partner in crime. And lets be honest, if Gwen knew? Tragedy averted. All of camelot’s braincells travel towards her like ants seeking sugar and everyone else has to root around in the dirt and hope they find one that has yet to make the journey to their one true home. I would have even settled for a little time-loop episode where everything gets reversed. There are so many ways to do a magic reveal! There was so much untapped comedic potential! Those scenes in the og charmed where Daryll doesn’t understand any of the witchy nonsense that’s happening? Hilarious! That scene in smallville where Lana questions Clark about all the mysteriously solved villain-of-the-week incidents while they’re driving? Also hilarious! It’s not that hard. The knights needed to figure out Merlin was Dragoon. Gwen and Arthur needed to realize they almost lost Merlin dozens of times. Mordred and Merlin could have been partners in crime and absolutely terrorize the shit out of everyone with mindspeak. Morgana also could have been “the antagonist” without losing her core character traits, but that’s a rant for another day? Where was I going with this?
#late night thoughts about bbc merlin#bbc merlin#merlin#To be clear I think the tragedy of the show is part of what makes it compelling#i do actually think telling a story and telling it well often involves playing with themes in ways that don’t always end happily#i’m just having sad gorl hours about merlin again#it shall pass#i love the show#and this criticism is just bc the writers made me feel things about the characters#and i have the urge to pull them out of their sandbox clean up their scratches and puppet them with strings to make them do a jig#if that makes sense#anyways#i am endlessly greatful to fanfic authors for feeding me magic reveal fics#and one day i will contribute my own#the ideas are all rattling around in my noggin#and i have opinions about how i like things to be#alas i must actually type though#one day…
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Okay, no, sorry, I’m still mad about this. “Be critical of the media you consume and examine why you react to it in the way that you do, support marginalized and stigmatized identities.” Yeah, until it’s about mental illness.
A woman (or even man, if he’s deemed over-emotional) makes music about suffering from mental illness and people just go, “What are they complaining about, that’s so immature, hashtag wangst.” (And then, sometimes, inexplicably, if the mentally ill woman gets better and writes happier music, they then talk about how artistically bankrupt she is now and that she should go back to hating herself.) People LOVE cis white pRoBLeMaTiC (straight) fictional men until they are realistically mentally ill, in which case they’re “whiny” and “insufferable” and deserve to die violently, apparently (or, if fandom is merciful, they’re ignored). (And then they celebrate when they DO inevitably get killed off.) “Do your duty and watch [thing I, mc13, personally find insufferable] For The (white) Gays because it has Gays.” Sure, will you watch c4 Pure, the ONLY show specifically about OCD, then? (No, the answer is no, it’s always no.)
I can’t get anyone to watch Doom Patrol. I couldn’t get people (in general-I did convince a few irl friends thank GOD) to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of the most popular and acclaimed shows right now has a character with schizophrenia who was turned into the Big Bad Villain for no fucking reason. One of the most commonly-cited examples of Iconic™ queer media involves a mentally ill man being broken over and over and over again before The Ship™ can reasonably happen. DW introduced a major character who was at one point suffering from mental illness in her past, AND THEN ALL MENTION OF THIS WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED IN THE FUTURE, WITH NO BEARING ON ANYTHING TO THE POINT WHERE I FORGOT IT EVEN EXISTED??!?!? R*tched was a thing that existed despite the Sad Sympathetic Backstory treatment being IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PURPOSE THIS CHARACTER SERVED IN One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. THEY GAVE. A SAD WOOBIE VILLAIN TREATMENT. TO THE /LITERAL PERSONIFICATION/ OF ABLEISM. THAT IS HER FUNCTION. TO EXIST AS A SYMBOL OF ALL THE WAYS SOCIETY OPPRESSES THE DISABLED AND MENTALLY ILL.
I am!!! Literally!!!!! The only one!!!!!!!!! Complaining about these things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has said ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is talking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#*OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW REPRESENTATION/FICTIONAL DISABILITY IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL OF ACTIVISM*#*OTHER OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW LIKING '''pRoBLeMaTiC''' CONTENT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON OR A HORRIFYING ABLEIST*#THIS WAS JUST ME GETTING MAD IT'S NOT THAT DEEP#In the Vents#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way#like. in some of these cases yes I /KNOW/ it was not meant to come across like that!!! but y'all accept that as a valid type of media#criticism when it's about anything else!!!!!!!! just not this apparently????!?!!!!#I do not understand how there is such an ABYSMAL treatment of the subject of mental illness in fiction when this is the#memetic Mental Illness Website like genuinely I do not get it I am scaling my walls and banging pots and pans and growling like a rabid dog#IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MESSAGE A STORY IS TELLING YOU GOTTA APPLY IT HERE TOO#I AM ALSO THE LAST PERSON TO SAY THAT YOU'VE GOTTA ADD A DISCLAIMER OF SOMETHING'S LAUNDRY LIST OF FLAWS BEFORE YOU TALK ABOUT IT#BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ON SOME LEVEL EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO YOURSELF THAT THINGS HAVE FLAWS#YOU'VE GOTTA BE AWARE OF SHIT#WHEN WILL WE HAVE THE OUTCRY OVER BURY YOUR DISABLED THAT WE DO OVER BYG (WHICH IS ALSO BAD BTW)#I GUARANTEE YOU WE WON'T BE GETTING A SEPARATE FUCKING CON OVER FANDOM OUTCRY THAT'S FOR SURE#I'm making a rule: if you can prove to me that you've started cxgf after reading this and/or if you can prove to me#that you've watched pure (channel 4/hbo max-the one with charly clive) I'll write a fic for you#let's see if I get sniped for criticizing both the beloved sacred mads show AND the plane crash girls show#if I see ONE more comment about how either of those is a perfect show that Gets What All The People Want I will in fact spontaneously#combust.#(and before you @ me yes I have any and all permutations of show tags blocked I'm not just being mean to be mean)#my god remember what happened the last time I tried to talk about this a;lsdfkajs;ldfkj#good thing I turned off anonymous asks!!#this is not even getting into some of the SMALLER fandoms#like I do not ever want to think about the takes I saw for ctrlz EVER again
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the hardest part about writing is all the grinding you have to do in order to earn the ending
#i have pieces that still haunt me bc i didnt know how to end them and instead of putting the work in i just kinda fumbled it#slapped an easy corny button on there and called it a day#the funny thing is that at least one of those stories i have had someone tell me it's their favorite#so i might be a bit of a perfectionist. but all i can see when i think of that fic is those last couple paragraphs where i phoned it in#bc i was ready to be done with the story even tho i dont think the story was ready to be done being told#i think i maybe need to chill a little bit though. maybe just a little#and then maybe i can find fritole's ending
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What’s your opinion on writing pre-s3 fics post-s3? As in I have a ton of fic ideas for tua but they would be set before Viktor transitioned. Would following canon and referring to Viktor as his past name & gender be deadnaming him? Or should I refer to him as Viktor and forget that anything else ever existed? I’ve seen various opinions in irl from trans people about this (from wanting to never refer to that other gender or to often talking about it) not sure what to do in the case of fiction
So. This is a question that is going to have different answers from different trans people. I dug up when I last answered a question like this back when the news of Viktor first came out (HERE), but I'll restate my thoughts on it here, too, with a bit more nuance than I gave it then -
First, out of context - referring to Viktor by his previous name and gender would be deadnaming and misgendering.
In context, it all comes down to intent. My position on Viktor's story is his transition is a huge component of it - with his upbringing and the drugs, he never had a chance to figure himself out until he was free of it and off the pills. Even if he wasn't trans, his story over the first two seasons could really easily be a trans allegory, along with just being a queer story. To completely ignore that he is trans feels like it would ignore a significant part of who he is and his journey to get there.
But intent. I do think intent goes a long way. If you're writing a canon-compliant fic set pre-S3, I wouldn't judge for deadnaming and misgendering him (**with a disclaimer at the beginning of the fic/chapter that it is taking place pre-transition** ). I think this especially if his transition is part of his journey or scope of the story. I do this in both my fics Joining Together and Holding It Together, in which JT his gender is never questioned but will be in the long run and in HIT we have a post-transition Viktor present with a pre-transition Viktor mentioned.
That said, if his gender journey isn't part of the scope of the story and he's an especially prominent character... I would consider AUing this one bit. If his transition doesn't play any part in the plot of the fic, it wouldn't affect anything to have it happen earlier so he doesn't get deadnamed and misgendered the whole time.
How's that for complicated advice? At the end of the day, you're showing you care by asking, and you're not going to please everyone - there's too many opinions on the matter with personal emotions involved. No one has a blanket, correct answer. And, like you said - it's fiction. We can't ask him, he's not real an he's just a character being used to tell a story to explore emotions and themes.
TLDR: Follow your gut, write what makes sense to the story you want to tell, do your best. That's all anyone can do.
#i don't write much from before the show picks up so i haven't had to think too much about it#my sweet spot is post-s2 They Fixed It - and i just pick up that Viktor hand-wave transitioned at the end of s2#the one fic i do have in wips where i don't do this is about five's time in the apocalypse#where he hallucinates viktor at one point while he's starving and trying to not die in a blizzard#i wrote it before viktor transitioned#and i go back and forth /a lot/ on if i want to do a viktor edit to it like i did all my other fics#on one hand - how would five ever know viktor was trans? he's 14 and been stuck in the apocalypse for a year#and viktor won't transition for another ~17 years from when five last saw him#on the other - viktor haunts the narrative even around that one-off hallucination with Extra Ordinary and that he causes the apocalypse#five thinks about him often as they were best friends and he worries about him#and it wouldn't change much to just have him referred to as viktor already#but for me - personally - there's also something tragic about five /not/ knowing his brother to refer to him correctly 'cause he's Not Ther#and i wouldn't be mad at someone misgendering me because they didn't know i'd transitioned#idk. like i said. i go back and forth on it.#this long ramble about my own fic thoughts about this is to say - there's not a Completely Right or Completely Wrong way to do it#intent matters and if you show you care and are aware that's enough for me personally#don't overthink it too much#happy writing and enjoy telling your story#ask response
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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Something about doing twice as much work as I usually do in one month immediately after a nasty recovery from surgery drove me into a depression flare-up that even a four day weekend hasn't fully kicked.
Shocking, I know! I never could have saw it coming either! But it's led me to resurrecting the Big Damn Table of prompts from Ye Olde LiveJournal era and by Jo, I think I could actually complete this thing for the first time in my life. 😮
Not all at once, obviously, (there's 200 prompts!). But I already have 4 one-shots drafted, and I barely even tried. So yay! Maybe publishing some of those will finally make me feel like I'm good at writing again! 🤞
#I've published 17 chapters and over 120k words on the same fic#which is about 58 scene changes (I counted)#And that's apparently the magic number to make me good at plotting self-contained one-shots o_O#Before 'Can We Keep Her' every story idea was a 20k word fic MINIMUM so I wrote barely any of them#Now? I know how to end things#After writing 58 endings in the past year I guess that makes sense#Now if only I understood middles maybe I wouldn't be suffering from this depression flare up :S#(or maybe if I had gotten my average 16 comments on the latest chapter instead of 9 plus crickets....)#(... yes I know that sounds so spoiled but writing is really hard you guys!! I bleed and bleed and bleed onto the page and for what?! Why?!#(No seriously why. I need readers to tell me so I can build up the stamina to keep going.)#(It's a feedback loop! Both literally and figuratively!)
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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fun fact: miqin mubei, face obscured, is the second named character to appear in the entire show. yes he appears all the way in episode 1
#young blood#大宋少年志#synco talks#ding er posting on main again#HE'S SO EXTRA AND FOR WHAT#i'm so unwell over this i can't even put it into words#he was always there! just as the truth - hidden but always there#one of the last scenes filmed is the first scene shown#in his next onscreen appearance he's a completely different character. filmed earlier back when his story was different#the shot is so subtle! so blink-and-you'll-miss-it! who's going to remember this forty episodes later! it's a treat for the rewatchers#and it doesn't even matter except it DOES and i'm unwell.#pretty sure this is the only time cherries appear in this show. the bright scarlet against the muted colors.#plucking the stem and loosing the arrows#anyway i'm going to write my fic and we'll see how much of this energy i can balance against 'two parallel generals facing war horrors' vib#literally the only difference between this and ep 42 is the color grading. ep 1 is just ep 42 if the heroes failed#watch them side by side and - aughh#it all begins and ends at qichuan village. brb crying#ybq is wearing the same armor bc he has Issues#mqmb is wearing the same armor bc ... ?#the first scene of the whole damn show is qinqi and you tell me this is a rarepair come on <- me being delusional
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He is in fact not cool with his friends killing people he just can’t do shit about it and the fact that he thinks he can do smth about (and does!) when it comes to his kids is like a major point
#like one of the main#Idk if theme is the right word#but issues surrounding Batman in general and Gotham specifically#is the high standards he holds not just those closest to him to but also the people he controls#NOW DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN UR GUT REACTION CONTROL IS A STRONG WORD BUT IM USING IT FOR A REASON#like i think the fandomification of the batfamily and seeing every character as reliable in the way they tell their own stories#is making people forget that yes bruce lowkey controls them#like not in a mean way or whatever but as much as dick and Jason rebel and say ‘fuck you old man I have my own people to take care of’#at a snap of Bruce’s fingers where are they?#right back in Gotham#which ppl say is an issue with writing and I agree like they really just can’t take anyone away from Gotham#but THATS meta like the in universe conclusion is what creates in universe analysis#and these issues are being spoken about from an in universe pov#that was just me justifying my point anywayyyd#what im saying is that like#in conclusion Ppl are forgetting that Bruce is scary and still runs this shit lmao#like a few snappy quips about emotional distance and some ‘X deserves better’ fics is making yall forget shit like spyral#or at least how it went down and ended up today and what that says about the characters involved#it’s tragic and Ik we like to ignore that but like. when look at shit like the no killing rule#yes bruce thinks he’s being slighted or failing whenever his kids kill someone and they to an extent think that too which is why they don’t#do it#or at least partly#even for Jason that’s why the killing is not just what needs to be done it’s a form of rebellion for him#everyone who agrees jason should just leave Gotham but still present as pure rebellion and anger and spitting at Bruce don’t get why Jason#should leave is all I’m saying#that’s why Dick never got away#it’s still all about Bruce#even if we don’t want it to be#reading this back it’s disjointed as hell but I’m not fixing it if u get it ily heh just a peek into my dark mind#if u don’t it’s not ur fault not everyone can withstand the alphas prowess…
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