#ff off

[13thpythagoras]

whoa bro

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The Wizard Cowboy War (Wizboys VS Cowards) continues on.

[transmisogyny-explained]

I want to submit a perspective on "afab transfemininity" from. an afab multi gender person. I know my experience isn't representative of everyone who calls themselves this, but I wanted to at least share

I don't call myself a trans woman, I hesitate to call myself transfem. nonetheless, I feel connected to femininity in a distinctly transgender way. when I first came out, I hated being a girl. I was a transmedicalist and validated myself by invalidating others. I had to face a lot of internalized misogyny and transphobia in order to really learn what it meant to be a man. after I started testosterone about 3 yrs ago, I realized I was a lesbian, and started feeling more comfortable being, at least in part, a woman. it was different this time because it was something I liked, something new and my own, not something ascribed to me. it's not cisgender in any way, it is transfemininity

this being said, I know my experience toward transfemininity is extremely different from the norm. I am not what most people are referring to when they refer to transfems, and there are many definitions of transfem that do not include me. despite that, I do have some experiences that overlap, things I can relate to. my femininity is at its core transgender in nature. my gender now is more complex... I feel like both a man and a woman, neither and both. but that doesn't mean my feelings about my gender are predatory or invalid. I don't want to talk over transfems, I am very aware of my place in these conversations. but I still have a place, and it frustrates me to see you share posts that minimize my experience into a stereotype

Why do you view transfemininity as being, at its core, the experience of being “both a man and a woman” lmao

Get back to me when you start viewing trans women as actual women and transfemininity as actual femininity, and not an aesthetic or a vibe or “some other third thing” apart from femininity.

You “feel femininity in a distinctly transgender way?” Congrats! You’re nonbinary! But that is NOT what being a trans woman is — Their womanhood and femininity is not essentially different from cis women’s.

What you are describing is a very generic experience of being a feminine nonbinary person, and I don't say that to insult you; but to compare that experience to those of trans women’s betrays the fact that you don't view them as the same gender as cis women. Which is transmisogyny. It’s textbook third-gendering.

Call yourself a nonbinary woman- Call yourself whatever you want, in fact. But trans women and TMA people are never going to feel safe around you so long as you continue insisting that transfemininity is essentially the same as the nonbinary femininity you experience, and essentially different from “real” cis women’s femininity.

Also, can I just say that it’s a little condescending that you would end your ask by saying “I’m aware of my place in these conversations, but…”

Like, if you were really “aware of your place” and were actually listening to transfems when we talk about transfeminism, you would be able to recognize the enormous amount of transmisogyny baked into your message. On top of the third-gendering, you also managed to:

Imply that TMA people don’t understand the complexities of gender and nonbinarity like you, a TME person, do

Imply that TMA people creating the language and spaces to discuss our experiences in a way that excludes you, a TME person, is invalidating and somehow tantamount to labeling you as “predatory” (what does that even mean?)

Sent an unprompted ask to a transfem’s blog venting your frustrations with the language of transfeminism, despite the fact that I’m not even the one who made those posts?

Showed a pretty absurd amount of entitlement by insinuating that it’s somehow my problem that you feel frustration over misunderstanding the basics of transfeminist theory

Subtly demanded that I do the emotional labor of managing your frustration, which, frankly, is just classic misogyny

Displayed a complete lack of understanding towards what transmisogyny even is, nor why we, as the direct targets of transmisogyny, need the the language and spaces to discuss it

I really don’t care what transfem “experiences” you think you relate to, the fact that you perpetuate and can benefit from transmisogyny will always separate you from us, and if you actually gave a shit about us and our struggles, you would recognize that and try to be a better ally to us rather than co-opting and redefining our language in a shallow attempt to define us out of existence.

As has been said countless times now:

“Transfeminine” does not mean “trans + feminine,” it is a term coined by TMA people to describe our specific experiences with being denied our femininity. That is something which you, as a person for whom (as you said) womanhood/femininity was ascribed by the system of patriarchy, cannot understand in the way we do.

[hey-heigo]

happy pride month

[theartbluebox]

10 minutes from now they will be yelling at each other in the court.

[a-trek-trough-the-stars]

Barry Trivers and Gerd Oswald dropping “The Conscience of the King” on December 8th of 1966, only to never elaborate on Tarsus IV and Kirk’s past there

[theredqueenandthebloodwyrm]

Bout to start gnawing and biting motherfuckers on here, istg. Fuck you third party voters, fuck you "I didn't vote because that would taint me", fuck you holier-than-thou moral purity fuckers. Fuck anyone who voted for Trump.

[messrmoonyy]

- Give me my sin again

Arthur Morgan x Female reader

Request- " if Arthur has a secret lover that he tells no one about and he goes to see her when he can after jobs maybe.shes so kind and devout and good that he thinks he doesn't deserve her. But he be besotted with her obsessed to worship the ground she walks on. Arthur not believing in anything but finding this good woman and wanting to be good for her but maybe knowing he can't

A/N- this is mostly a kind of dive into Arthur's head I like it idk. I also paired this with a request I had about bathing Arthur. It kinda fits. Anyway this is a lil shorter than I normally write but life had been lifing lately Imao. And this got me back into writing something for the first time in a lil bit so! Do enjoy.

Warnings- 18+ | some religious imagery, a small chunk of smut right near the end (oral, R receiving) { wc- 3.4k}

Masterlist | AO3

Arthur was not a good man . He feared he never had been. Not really. No matter how many people could try convince him otherwise. He wasn’t. He was bad. He did bad things. A good man didn’t murder, rob, manipulate.

He was no saint. So incredibly far from it.

And yet with you? Well… he felt he could be.

You with your delicate hands that soothed his bruised and battered skin, your voice like that of an angel on his shoulder that spoke to him with an airy tenderness that he did not deserve.

He was not a holy man. And yet for you he would renounce all sin and drop to his knees to beg for forgiveness and retribution. The only deity worth worshipping in his eyes. His slice of heaven always waiting to chase the darkness from his mind. If just for a few hours.

He was drawn to you like there was something mystical in your words, hypnotising him, controlling him, luring him in with nothing but a smile. He would find himself stumbling his way to your door, just to drop down at your feet and beg. Beg for you to erase his sins and show him grace, Allow him the privilege of being in your presence for a while. Because in that awful, terrible world he’d found himself in… nothing felt right but you.

And so there he was again. At your door. Standing there in the rain as he waited for you to answer. His knuckles bruised on the wood in the night, praying you’d be awake, two rabbits slung over his shoulder. As if they could be excuse enough to spend more time with you.

That he had brought you supplies. And that of course he wouldn’t mind skinning them for you. No it really wasn’t a bother.

Though deep down he knew he didn’t need an excuse. That you would always welcome him in with open arms and at times had even begged him not to leave again. But he always felt like he needed the excuse… maybe more to convince himself of something rather than you.

He knocked again. Hoping, praying you were still awake.

And you were. As if you’d been waiting. Maybe you had. But probably not. It has been weeks. 3. 4? He wasn’t sure. But weeks . Weeks that had felt like some kind of condemnation for his sins, being punished by having to stay away. Dutch in one ear, Strauss in the other. A gaggle of others behind him.

Like some guard dog sent out to attack. Kill. Rob. Threaten. And he was tired. Exhausted. He’d no chance to slip away, no chance to sneak his way to your cabin.

But he was there now.

And so were you.

“ Arthur” you looked ethereal. Stood there in the doorway, backlit by the lamp in the room behind you. You didn’t sound surprised to see him. More relieved than anything.

He knew he worried you. Knew you must be sick with it when he went away for weeks on end, no sign he was alive other than another article on the front of the paper about Dutch and the gang robbing something or other.

He walked in as you stepped aside, standing in the warmth of your small home. He’d arranged it for you some time back. Some place to keep you safe.

“ I missed you “ you said, your arms wrapping around his rain soaked torso. Your head resting against his chest, breathing out like you had just received your first gasp of air after being held underwater for too long.

“ I missed you too “ he murmured, his free arm wrapping around you. Strong. Secure. Steady. You were grounding, dragging him out of a haze he had been stuck in to coax him back to reality “ brought you these “ he said, his voice low. Gruff even. He felt like he couldn’t raise his voice in there. That if he did the illusion would shatter and he’d wake up in his tent. All of it some cruel dream to taunt him.

“ thank you “ you said, your voice soft “ I’ll skin them later “ that made Arthur smile, a chuckle escaping his lips. The first in 4 weeks.

“ darlin’ I’ve seen the way you skin game. I ain’t lettin’ you anywhere near ‘em you’ll butcher the damn things “ his voice was gentle with his teasing, but it was true. He’d once left you to it, letting you skin the game he’d brought you. Only to return to what looked like a massacre had taken place on your kitchen table “ I’ll do it “

You laughed a little yourself and nodded

“ yeah I… I ain’t the best huh “ he dropped the rabbits on the table and then turned back to you, he needed to be close to you again.

“ I really did miss ya “ he murmured, reaching out to tuck his fingers under your chin so you’d look up at him “ sorry I ain’t been around much “

He looked down at you, just looking. Admiring. You were so beautiful . So unbelievably gorgeous that it made his heart ache. So beautiful that even death would hesitate to pluck you up into his waiting arms. Because to remove you from the earth would be too vicious even for him, to devoid the planet of such beauty would be low even by his standards.

“ where y’been? “ you asked softly, leaning into his touch “ doin’ bad things again? “

“ real bad things sweetheart “ he murmured.

You never really asked him for more details. Never went delving into what dark and desperate things he found himself doing for Dutch. You'd push from time to time. But never asked anything too damning. You knew he was bad. Never asked him to confess his sins to you, you just let them lie. Let him forget them for a while whilst he was with you.

“ that mess in Valentine… was that you? “ you asked “ read about it in the papers. Claiming it was Van Der Linde boys. And I figured… that usually means you “ Arthur sighed, tucking some of your hair behind your ear as you looked up at him.

He didn’t deserve the way you gazed at him. The way you admired him. The way you peeled back each layer of terribleness to see the good hidden deep underneath.

“ yeah “ he didn’t attempt to lie. What was the need? You knew anyway “ Strauss took a bullet. Old bastards still breathin’ though unfortunately “ he murmured and stepped away from you. He felt tetchy. Needed to busy his hands.

You seemed to gather the point. That that was enough for now. That you didn’t need to know the who’s, the when’s, the why’s. He’d told you the vague outline. Skimmed the tale. And that was enough.

“ well… you gonna sort them rabbits f’me? I’ll cook you up somethin’ nice “ Arthur gave a small smile at your willingness to let his vague stories stay exactly that. To know he did bad things, but not wishing to know exactly what those things were.

And so you both fell into an almost domestic scene. The comfortable quiet that could settle around two people doing their own thing, two people just happy to be in each others company. Two people comfortable together.

He skinned the game as you pottered about doing something or other in the kitchen around him. It felt nice. A scene he could almost see himself having permanently.

Maybe somewhere back out west. Some little cabin or ranch, just you and him. And some sheep or chickens or… something. That damn rancher life Dutch had been harping on about for so long… but just you two.

A ring on your finger. A family. Domesticity that he never truly realised he’d craved.

But that was all some hopeless dream wasn’t it.

So he’d savour those moments for now. The quiet bliss. The escape from everything back at camp. His quiet comfortable time with you.

He finished the game, washing off his hands and placed himself behind you, arms around your waist and a gentle kiss to your cheek.

Those moments were his. His true escape and joy. When he could feel vulnerable. Affectionate.

You were the only true receiver of his affections. You brought it out of him. A constant deep desire within him to want to hold you. Kiss you. Love you. Something he usually tried to keep buried.

It was a tender scene. His chin propped on your shoulder, his arms around you. You often joked that it baffled you how this man that was so tender with you, so caring. So… soft. Was wanted dead or alive in multiple states.

His true moments of retribution came when he was with you like that. When he could hold you and be gentle. Pour out all his emotions and feelings via his actions.

Including the times when he was able to press you into your mattress. Your bed, his saving grace, his chance to truly worship every inch of you. And worship he did. Hands determined and insistent on your soft skin, mapping out your curves and edges to commit them to memory. Lips burning as they trailed your body to commit each inch to his brain.

The way your hands gripped at him, your fingernails piercing his skin and keeping him grounded. Reminding him it was all real and he was sane. And the sounds you made more beautiful than any angel, whispering his name in his ear.

He always made sure to worship every part of you. Kissing in the most uncommon of places. His lips brushing your hip bone. The inside of your wrist. Each and every divet of your spine. Making sure you knew he cared. That he appreciated every second he had of you. That you weren’t some hurried little triste that he kept hidden away until he felt an itch needed to be scratched. That this side of things wasn’t a necessity. But simply just a way to prove his points.

He made sure you knew you were his everything. The one thing keeping him holding on to his morality, his one tether to the right side of things.

Afterwards he would lay there with you. Your body’s intwined and your fingers stroking through his hair. And he’d wonder when he’d get to see you again. When he’d be able to return to your arms. Missing you before he’d even left

And he desired it now.

It wasn’t even an inherently lust fuelled desire. But a desire to simply be close. To hold. To touch. To feel. To be touched in a way of care and to touch in a way that showed love not violence. To prove he could touch with love. That not everything he did needed to be violent.

So he turned you gently, cupping your face in his hands. And kissed you. Firm. But not rushed. Purposeful. His hands moving and pulling gently at your hips to hold you flush against him. Some silent request for more.

But you held your hands firmly to his chest as he kissed you, like you could read his mind.

“ ain’t lettin’ you into my bed like this “ you said with a slight sternness to your tone that made him smile “ you look like you went swimmin’ in the swamps “ he chuckled at your words and nodded.

“ and I thought you enjoyed a rugged man “ he teased, his voice low and thick. He always spoke like he needed to be quiet with you. Like inside those four walls of your cabin if he spoke any louder he’d shatter the facade and you’d vanish.

“ rugged. Not swampy “ you teased with a smile and pressed a kiss to his cheek “ I’ll draw you a bath “

He watched you slip from his grasp, disappearing to arrange it. Simply because you wanted to. You didn’t have to. You weren’t the type to be some slave of a wife to a man that demanded everything of you. And he was not the type to be that kind of husband.

You simply just cared. Had too much care and kindness in your heart.

When it was ready you called him through. The whole thing still as quiet and calm as it had been since he’d stepped through your door.

The contrast always shocked him.

“ c’mon. Whilst it’s hot sugar “ you said softly, grabbing gently at his jacket from behind to help him shed it.

Being naked in front of you wasn’t always some lust filled moment. It was… natural. Intimate in ways different from those fuelled by sex. Vulnerable. Completely bare and unarmed. A way no one but you got to see him. A way he was certain he could never really trust anyone as much as you.

“need some time alone or ya want a hand? “ you asked softly, perching on the side of the tub. It was a little small. Or maybe he was a little big. Probably both.

He didn’t need your help not at all. But he’d take every single second he could have with you. Each tick of the clock was precious.

“ like my own personal bath girl ain’t ya darlin? “ he said with a smirk which made you smile, but roll your eyes.

“ I don’t think I’m as complimentary “ you said softly, dipping a cloth into the water to wash away the dirt and dust that came from sleeping outdoors and riding on horseback all day “ god the state of ya Arthur “ you sighed, gently washing over bruises and cuts.

You were used to that though. Arthur’s body had been littered in scars and bruises as long as he could remember.

“ ain’t nothin serious “ he said and it just made you sigh.

Your touch was so gentle against his battered skin. As if washing away all the bad he’d done in the 4 weeks between seeing you. As if he would step out of that tub and out of your door a new man, that he’d be restored to new from your gentleness alone. He could pretend at least.

“ need t’eat more “ you murmured softly, your fingers trailing down his side “ gettin’ skinny “ it felt nice to hear concern. For someone to worry about him. For someone to notice “ I do worry bout ya Arthur “ you said quietly as if reading his mind “ more so lately “

He sighed and nodded

“ I know my darlin’. I know “

“ ain’t never been this bad “

“ I know ” he glanced up at you as you ran soap suds through his hair, your fingers soft and gentle on the knots.

“ cant help feelin’ like… like one day you just ain’t gonna come back here “ he closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. He knew that this was how it was. That he worried you. That he caused you so much stress and anxiety “ I knew the deal when we first met but… Arthur what the hell happened back in Blackwater? “

His jaw involuntarily tensed at the mention of Blackwater. Because Arthur didn’t really know what had happened. He’d heard different accounts. Dutch said one thing. John another. The papers something else.

All he did know, was deep down even without the evidence to prove the fact, it had something to do with Micah. Micah and his impulsive tendencies

“ darlin’ “ he sighed again “ I ain’t even sure. I weren’t there you know I weren’t “ he hung his head a little and closed his eyes for a moment “ whatever it was it was bad. And Dutch… he’s got all these plans. Ranching or god damn mangoes in Tahiti I don’t know look- “ he reached out and grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly “ whatever that mess was, I gotta help them pick up the pieces. Y’know I do “

“ yeah. I know “ you said quietly

“ but once they got enough money, they can go off and have their South Pacific dreams… and I’ll be free to go where I like. Right back here. T’you “ he didn’t quite believe it himself. And it felt cruel to say it when he truly thought about it. But some part of him felt that if he spoke it out loud, maybe it could happen.

But then again. Maybe not.

You didn’t seem convinced. Not at all. That look in your eyes that seemed filled with sadness and longing. Longing for a life he couldn’t give you. Not yet.

“ sounds like a real nice dream “ you said quietly, standing up to grab him a towel to dry off

“ it is darlin. It is. And you keep dreamin’ it cause I will make it happen. I swear it to ya I will “ he wrapped the towel around his hips and stepped out of the tub, placing his hands on your shoulders “ I will darlin “

You gave him a gentle smile and reached up to brush the backs of your fingers across his cheek, nodding softly

“ I’ll keep dreamin “

As was the usual he ended up in your bed again, desperate to prove his point and show you his true devotion. Purging his sins with his head between your thighs.

His fingers softly traced along your folds, spreading them gently. He groaned as he felt you quiver and twitch under his touch, the feeling and sound making him more and more insatiable. More desperate to please. His thumb ran up and pressed against your clit, rubbing firmly, almost possessively like he was trying to mark the territory as his. Watching your reactions as you squirmed below him, heavenly sounds escaping your mouth.

“ so good Arthur “

Your mewling and whining was like music to his ears, he could listen to it all day. Hearing you moan out your praises only made his tongue move faster, his efforts to bring you to climax increasing. His hands gripping your thighs, using his free hand to push your hips down gently.

It was never about him in those moments. Didn’t care for getting any kind of release himself. He just cared about you. As if doing something so selfless would free him of his vengeful, selfish ways from the last few weeks.

He circled your clit, giving you the attention you needed and wanted from him, making up for his absence with every swipe of his tongue, listening to the pretty moans you made. His tongue swiped across you again and again, licking a strip over your sensitive skin just wanting to touch you everywhere.

Your soft moans and writhing movements were enough to drive him crazy, his hands gripping tightly at your thighs.

“ m’so… Arthur I- “ you spoke brokenly, your hand patting around softly before grabbing onto his “ Arthur “ your soft whimper of his name made him groan hungrily, his fingers instantly lacing with yours

“ right here darlin. Ain’t goin no where “

He hummed softly against you, feeling your muscles tighten under his tongue. He pressed his tongue flat against you, giving a long, slow lick. He was addicted to the taste, he just wanted more of you. Like he couldn’t get enough. Couldn’t get close enough. He groaned softly again, the vibrations of the sound clearly doing you wonders.

He could feel your walls beginning to clench around his tongue as he thrust it inside of you,your hand squeezing down on his and you softly mewled his name over and over . And a few more flicks of his tongue was enough, your back arching from your bed with a high pitched whine. Your thighs clamping around his head making him moan against you, not stopping in his ministrations. Fervently licking and lapping until you went slack, gently pushing at his head.

“ oh Jesus “ you whispered with a soft, breathy laugh “ I don’t know how you’re so good at that “ he smirked softly and crawled back over your body, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“ you give me enough practice “ he murmured with a smile, tilting your head so that he could kiss you.

“ did you really mean what you said earlier?” You asked quietly as he pulled back, your fingers brushing his hair back from his forehead “ that dream. We’ll really have that some day? “

He looked down at you. So hopeful. So desperate to love and to be loved. By him. He wanted to give you the world. To hand you anything and everything you wanted and needed on a silver platter before you could even ask for it.

Deep down he wished he could. A small, tiny part of him hoping that one day he really could fulfil that desire. Be… normal. A rancher or a farm hand. You, his wife. A kid.

But a louder, stronger part of him told him he couldn’t. That he’d never really escape. That something would always be in the way. Something would always stop him.

But looking down at you, that loving hopeful look. He couldn’t tell you that.

“ yeah. Yeah darlin’ we will “

[antianakin]

Absolutely wild to see Ezra Bridger circa season 1 described as someone who has "mastered the art of zero attachments" despite being like... nearly consumed by his fear of loss and abandonment and going on a wholeass journey throughout all four seasons towards figuring out how to trust again and how to understand that someone making a sacrifice isn't necessarily the same thing as being abandoned, that sacrifice can be an act of love as much as anything else, and it is THIS EXACT UNDERSTANDING of how to let go of his fear of losing those he loves that allows him to truly become a Jedi and understand what being a Jedi has always meant.

Like, gee, I'm sorry, but I dunno what you thought all of those blatantly obvious parallels to ANAKIN FUCKING SKYWALKER were all about other than showing that Ezra had learned to OVERCOME his attachments in a way Anakin did not, that Ezra was choosing to be the Jedi that Anakin should've been when faced with the exact same tests and temptations.

Rebels is not about realizing one should have more attachments because that's what saves you. It's about learning to LET GO of your attachments and accept change when it happens and to love people and love the world ANYWAY, even if you could lose them, even if you DO lose them, because THAT'S what will save you.

[parallelpie]

First off this absolutely cursed AU was inspired by Lemonomelette and a post they made -X Secondly I imagine it all being about bots and cons trying to one up each others factions and not actually helping in any serious way because their too busy with their own faction bs.

Think of two rival car dealerships across the street one upping each other to get business and instead of business with cars its interstellar robot fairys trying to woo sm children to let them grant their inconsequential wishes (which may or may not be worth it) instead of the other guy next door.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Another story from the Taiwan trip my betrothed and I went on:

All the subways and public transit were immaculate in Taipei, so we took it everywhere. You get reloadable cards, similar to in the states. But unlike here the chime to tell you it scanned is not a stupid boring beep.

The machines trilled a bright little “BringBoomboom!” each time we scanned in.

It instantly triggered the parakeet reflex to mimic the sound. Now, there’s three white people and one native traveling together. Our Taiwanese friend was married to one of the white people so he was oathbound not to make her life harder.

But my betrothed and I were unable to resist cheerfully mimicking the machine every time we scanned, it was such a fun sound to make.

So our Taiwanese friend is walking the subway trailed by a parade of white people, two of whom are making idiots of themselves and drawing attention by mimicking the machine sounds. I think she experienced a level of embarrassment previously unknown to man to be babysitting us.

Then her husband made the sound too. I think she almost left us to fend for ourselves.

[youwerethedefeated]

The amount of times Hinata thinks about Kageyama during the Brazil arc is INSANE... like, dude, you're all the way across the world and everything reminds you of him 😭

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The Quest Continues...

(part 1- part 2)

[disgracefulthings]

Man with a fake mustache: Excuse me, I am looking for a medicine that can make a man's *cough* pillar smaller

Mu Qingfang, sighing: Shen-shixiong, for the last time, I can't shrink your husband's dick

[strrykais]

ᝰ.ᐟ off the record

12 . i think i’m in love with you

Feeling nervous was definitely an understatement, you never been to a party. You were always worried you would make the people around you feel uncomfortable with having to have someone translate or write it down for you. 

It didn't take much convincing to convince Giselle to come, she was more than happy to accompany you when she saw how nervous you were to even ask her. It did however take forever to convince chenle to drive you both.

When you guys finally arrived at the address sion sent you, you watched chenle mouthed something to giselle and her comment back. 

Chenle turns to you ‘ when you are ready to go call or text okay? I can come get you both.’ 

‘ What if you don’t answer? ’ Chenle rolls his eyes ‘ then keep blowing it up till I do, you idiot. I can’t let two girls walk home late at night. Now can I? ‘ he had a look of pity, which made you roll your eyes, turn your head out the window, and see Sion in the doorway waving at you with a big smile on his face.

You wave back at him, tapping Giselle's shoulder pointing at Sion. ‘I'm going to head in and I'll see you there. Bye Chenle.’

They both watch as you get out the back seat walking up to Sion.

“Watch after her Gi. It’s her first party after all.” Chenle says leaning forward to see you walk in the door with him. 

“She’s a big girl Le, and plus this is like a perfect party for her to be at. Trust me she will be fine. Let her make friends, we will call you when we are ready.” She gathers her bag and starts unbuckling her seat belt.

“No alcohol, I'm not carrying either of you guys.” Chenle waves giselle out, “Yes Dad.” 

Sion was giving you a tour of the place, slowly introducing you to his friends. You were kind of glad that he was going at a slow pace. It's not that you felt uncomfortable, it was just a lot especially when the only people you interacted with were your friends and jeno. Jeno! You totally forgot to message him, you quickly pull out your phone sending him a text.

A tapping on your phone brought you back to sion who was standing over you with his curious eyes. 

‘boyfriend?’ he asks, you notice the way his hands ask almost as if testing the waters. you glance up at him to see his eyes were avoiding yours, ears slowly turning a soft shade of red to match the blush creeping up on his cheeks. 

This was all new territory, you never had a boy ask if you were dating anyone. You weren’t dating officially but you kind of assumed you and jeno had something going on. He did ask you on a date, that has to mean something right.. You didn’t wanna lie to Sion, especially since he has been so kind and sweet, but you weren't sure where you were in your romantic life. 

You rub your hands together getting ready to give him a reply, you noticed sion waving someone over with hands signing to you. ‘You gotta meet my friend, he has been a great help in getting me used to the new and bigger campus.” you only smile and give him a slight nod when he steps past you giving his friend a hug. You try to glance around him to catch his face, and when you do your eyes widening in surprise. 

‘Jisung this is the girl i was telling you about. Jisung this is y/n. Y/N this is jisung.’ you were hoping sion couldn’t catch the looks you both gave each other. But he completely did. ‘It looks like you know each other.’ 

‘Yeah something like that.’ jisung signs to sion, eyes quickly going back to you. You nervously started playing with the hem of your shirt, trying to keep your hands busy because you didnt wanna talk and was too afraid to glance away from either of them in case you missed something signed. 

“I think I'll let you two talk.. The silence is suffocating and that’s all I've heard all my life. So find me later, okay guys?’ you give him a smile and a nod as jisung gives him a thumbs up.

You watch as Sion disappears into the crowd behind jisung. Jisung's eyes haven't left your figure for a while before he decides to break the ice. ‘Can we talk? Somewhere more private.’ you nod as jisung reaches out a hand for you to grab. It was weird. You and jisung were so close that physical contact was second nature, no need for asking. But now with his hand stretched out for you, you felt your heart breaking for your lost connection and one of your most treasured friendships. 

 You slip your hand into jisungs while he leads you past people, reaching outside on the balcony. You were kind of hoping giselle saw you and jisung together and followed you out, but now it was just you, jisung and the light snow that sprinkled outside.

Jisung must have noticed that you were cold, when you rubbed your hands over your arms. You watch as he takes off his jacket pulling it over your shoulders. His face was inches from yours and it felt so foreign. He felt so foreign.

‘You don't have to say anything.’ he starts off, face holding so much worry like you were gonna hit him. You could never hit him, he knows that but he still was worried you might. ‘ I'm sorry. I’m sorry for the way I acted towards you and towards jeno. I just got worried that you would leave me for someone who was probably ten times better than me. I know that doesn’t really excuse it because I should be someone who supports you and helps you, not hold you back to the point you only need me. I was selfish for thinking that, especially when I know you see me as nothing but a friend. I wrote and I practiced what I have been wanting to tell you over the last few weeks and now my mind is drawing a blank with you standing so pretty in front of me. You just make me so nervous and I forget all the time when I'm around you. Y/N if you have it in your heart i wanna become friends again, i will continue to work through this love i feel for you so it wont hinder our friendship.’ 

You quickly reach out stopping his hand movements, jisung watches your heavy breaths of white fog leave your mouth. Cheeks red with your nose to match, jisung didn’t like the expression on your face. Jisung didn’t want your pity, he already knew how you felt towards him.

‘Love?’ you questioned. Your eyes searched his face to see if he was pulling some joke. 

‘I think I'm in love with you. No wait, I have been in love with you for a while. And I let that consume me and took advantage of your trust. That little part of you was all I could get and I slowly saw it become Jenos. I have come to realize that it was never mine to take. I’m sorry for dropping this on you at your first party, but i thought i might never get the chance to talk to you that wasn't through a phone.’ 

Jisung lifts his hands to cup your cheeks, pulling your face down planting a soft kiss in your temple. He gives you a shy smile letting go of your face, taking a few steps back before signing, ‘you have my number when you are ready to talk again, and if not I also understand that. Don't stay out here for much longer, you are starting to look like an icicle. Ill see you around ynnie.’ with that he walks inside softly shutting the doors, leaving you with nothing but your thoughts and aching heart.

A figure popping in your peripherals scares you, hand going over your pounding heart to see Giselle looking completely shocked. ‘Why did jisung come to me and say you needed me out here?’ 

You let out a soft sigh, ‘im ready to go home. I can tell you there.’

previous | masterlist | next

authors note: oh angst was crazy with this one

taglist: @dudekiss3r @bluedbliss @synthwxve @413ktz @mrsjohnnysuh @hyuckies18 @jeonghansshitester @multifandomania @yewshi @peterm4rker @flamingi @iamsimplyasimp @kaosuni @i-lovegood @jich3nle @melodiessvy @lampcults @smilefordongil @elsbunny @staydeardream @jeonginsbaee @t-102 @jae-n0 @sthwaaberry @snoopyjimin @flaminghotyourmom @keeryverse @haechsworld @kukkurookkoo @minkyuncutie @haechanmybaechan @oliviahyehyehye @remgeolli @xiuriii @saucyjaeyun @yizhrt @depressed-hoe2001 @jungaji @n0hyuck @charlieg1rl @thegracerammy @sunghoonsgfreal @jenohyun @jenoleeaesthetic @neozon3nha @dreamiestay @dinonuguaegi @morkleesgirl @catpjimin @lotties-readings

reblogs, likes and replies are appreciated! feel free to send constructive feedback/thoughts in my asks or comment below!

[sugurusladyknightt]

satoru x gn!reader

what i'm thinking of right now is what if someone tried hitting on you while out on a date with your love.

satoru would've stepped away to grab the ice cream that had you waiting in a line for what you thought would feel like forever. it was fun though, the two of you pausing your initial conversation about the days plans in favour of people watching and listening in on the very scandalous conversations of those who stood with you in line. your eyes meeting in shock or surprise every so often, doing your best to disguise your laughs and gasps with charades of idle conversation and your own scandalous conversations referencing drama that, mind you, doesn't really exist in your lives at the moment.

while he was a way your getting hit on by some creep. it didn't come off that way initially, but this getting uncomfortable fast.

can this guy not take a hint? he's asking for your number once again and your refusing once again politely at first, and more stern as the advances keep coming. your not used to people that won't listen when you speak. since when did back off mean come closer? since when did i'm not interested become i'm only playing coy? since when did i am taken. leave me alone translate to my relationship isn't real or important to me at all and id be happy throw it all away for someone who doesn't understand basic boundaries and uses those god awful, suffocating, nauseating colognes?

drawing closer and closer to you. face far too close to yours, breathe stank too. yuck. he's gaining confidence now, fully convinced the 'boyfriend' you were talking about was a false excuse you've made up. your just nervous is all. playing hard to get.

panic starts to set into your bones like stones sink in water. he's leaning back, all cocky now.

it's incredibly frustrating to know a simple no doesn't suffice, but unfortunately, it's a far too familiar fact.

come on doll face, this 'boyfriend' of yours doesn't have to know. quit playing so high and mighty i know you want me.

you think you might throw up. theres a confident smirk playing on his ugly mouth, when an ice cream cone hits him right in the centre of his face. comically sliding down his face, incredibly slow. the smirk drops so quick, and satoru gracefully enters the scene.

sun creating a halo around his fluffy white hair, your ho is glowing. signature classes sat pretty, low on his nose, his skin a little flushed from the heat (hence the ice cream) he's holding two more cones in his hands, walking towards you and and the offender, mock sympathy in his voice. as he expresses apologies that to just might seem sincere if your that stupid if you tried hard enough. grabbing the cone of his face to meet his eyes.

satoru has a incredibly towering stature, and while this wasn't news to you, it's quite impressive to see its advantages in real time.

peaking down at the face behind the sweet creamy mess, satoru recoils. "ew." his tone dripping with absolute disgust. turning around to make his "bleghh" face as he presses the now ice cream less cone into the man's hair. like a sad party hat above his head an sticks on of the other two, being careful to use the flavour he knows you like least, straight back into his face. massaging it around to cover as much of the monstrosity as possible before nodding proudly for his work. a pat on the make, and he's turing on his heel towards you with that blinding smile on his face.

dramatically, satoru drapes his hands over you shoulders, and leans his weight it, a pout on his strawberry glosses lips. "babyyyyy, the sight will haunt my night mares, scary people out there" he tuts standing straight with a satirical furrow between his brows. he should have been a theatre kid with all these dramatics. though you were greatful, and relived. he makes life feel so easy. it's contagious.

he looks down at you through his sunglasses small smile playing on his lips, face no longer contorted by an expression of discomfort or disgust.

satoru hands you the last cone. after all the two he got for him have served greater purpose than satisfying his sweet tooth. strong arm loosely hangs from you shoulder as you walk off leaving behind the cheap excuse of a man now covered in creamy deliciousness far too good him. your laughing at something satoru said as he glances back to see yhe newest addition to his hit list muttering to himself as he try's to get the ice cream of his over gelled greasy hair, fake designer top and horribly ugly face. satoru thinks he should just keep it as it was. ice cream was a far more pleasant sight. he looks back down at you eating away at your cone, there's a little caught at the corner of you lips.

smirking he leans down to lick it off, taking advantage of the angle of your head above his to make his eyes wide and pretty for you the same way he would when he was licking something else. your flustered, mouth open, paused mid sentence and your eyes wider than his now.

(the audacity of this man. nothing is gonna manage to kill you quicker than his charm.)

wide eyes portraying his faux innocence drop to a sultry lidded gaze leaning in to kiss away another but in the other side. your fingers going up to feel if there's anything there on instinct.

he stands up quick, back to his faux persona of a very mature and collected version of himself ( the kind no one would guess bounces of the wall when left unattended), pinching your check acting as if nothing had just transpired. like the subtle innuendo was felt only by you, and was nothing more than a fantasy of your own making. "are you blushing?? god baby your such a pervert. is that all i am to you???"

and he's back to the dramatics. rolling your eyes you shrug him of and continue. he stays, right where he is. watching you, his love walk ahead, he feels himself let out the dreamy exhale of a lovesick fool, he'll be the first to admit that for you, he is nothing else.

a quick jog is all it takes to catch up to your quick steps. arm coming back around your shoulder he leans in like he weighs the same as the feather. burying himself close to you. you smelt sweeter than ice cream. his hair tickles your neck, and your his face. the fabric of his shirt against your own.

"baby"

a hmm is all he gets in reply, to busy lapping away at your cone to pay attention to the kind, sexy clown you call you boyfriend.

he got you your favourite flavour after all.

extravagant gestures weren't something satoru shied away from, as we have gotten to see up close today. he was loud and carefree but he was yours. and you his. walking side by side, his arm around your shoulders, head resting close to you. he can feel your pulse (his posture must've looked horribly uncomfortable to someone watching from outside the moment shared by the two of you).

it's peaceful like this. despite the bustling crowds and busy chatter around you, you shared a feeling of peace in that moment. body held close to the one you loved, despite the heat you can't say you're bothered by the proximity. he smells so good.

then, all at once, it hits him.

no sweet treat :(

the gravity of the situation quickly makes it self clear to him, but his salvation, his light at the end of the tunnel, as always, is being held delicately in your hands.

"you wouldn't mind sharing with your brave, fearless, super funny, super hot, super saviour knight now would do you baby"

and he's batting his eyelashes at you all pretty and shit

divider by @saradika-graphics