#feminist masculinity

[someheartsaretrue]

I live my life at arm’s length from those around me because patriarchy has convinced us all that I am a threat, that I cannot be trusted in certain spaces. and with no trust, there cannot be love. patriarchy denies men love. it denies men intimate friendships and the right to connection. I stay at arm’s length to assuage the fear of others. a fear that exists because of other men. a fear that I also harbour.

patriarchy hurts men

[satireinfo]

Trump’s Victory and the “Return of Masculinity”

Trump’s Victory and the “Return of Masculinity”: A Satirical Deep Dive From “Marxist Mr. Magoo” to “Man of the House” How Testosterone Became the Economy’s Secret Ingredient Washington, D.C. —In the wake of Donald Trump’s triumphant return to the White House, headlines across America proclaimed not just a political victory, but the resurgence of traditional masculinity. The so-called “war on men”…

[sydsixxftm]

Y'all hate trans men so much because we've created a version of masculinity that is not based in patriarchy. Trans men being born female but still being so masculine actively dismantles sexism.

Trans masculinity is so beautiful ♡ queer masculinity should be celebrated

Too many queers have it in their heads that feminity is peak queerness. That femme means safe and pure.

Trans men don't have to display femininity to be real queers. Let us be masculine and still recognize that we are radically queer.

[thatgentlewife]

TW: Miscarriage

My husband and I have suffered from the loss of our child yesterday. I will not be as active as I try to recover mentally and physically from what happened. Please keep us in your prayers, any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated 🙏

I will not be answering asks or posting at this time

Thank you for your patience and understanding

Thatgentlewife

[feminist-affirmations]

[arielthedaydreamer]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but: If you're a man -whether you've been one all your life or just recently started to notice within yourself the need to become one- that's enough.

You don't have to pass a test, there is no quiz, you don't have to check a minimum amount of gender role boxes. No one can tell you HOW to be a man. It doesn't matter how you look or how your body looks, how you talk, how you act, how you behave, what your sexuality is. You don't even have to fit in with the other guys. If being a man feels right for you, you can say "This is me and I'm a man".

The gender police will never knock on your door. Your gender is your own business and no one else's. No one can tell you what a man can or can't do. There is no wrong way to be a man. Be the kind of man you want to be, the kind that sparks joy. You can do it, bro. I believe in you.

[pinkribbonsblog]

[queerism1969]

[lgbtlunaverse]

"Female characters aren't allowed to be feminine anymore! Why aren't girly girls allowed to kick ass while wearing makeup– oh the actresss are all wearing makeup? Well not enough of it! It's so subtle I barely noticed. And they are never allowed to wear skirts or dresses– ok well those scenes don't count there are some scenes where they DON'T wear dresses. Real girly girls never wear pants. And in fact now that I think about it it's sooo misogynistic that so many of these women in fantasy and action franchises fight. Women are worthy even if they don't display masculine traits like combat! Why- oh, I said I wanted girly girls to kick ass earlier? Well obviously I meant that METAPHORICALLY. Why can't they command armies instead and leave the fighting to the men? Actually now that I think about it that would mean they are the ones making the decisions while the men follow them... that's bad! Why do we only value women if they display talent in a masculine field like politics? And they always have to fix everything while the male love interests are useless. Women deserve to be taken care of! A GOOD female character would have a boyfriend or husband who solves all the major plot points for her! That gives her more time to do feminine things like dressing up prettily and doing her makeup and dancing 🥰"

[genderkoolaid]

i’ve been seeing that “nooo tboy mutual don’t reblog that transandrophobia post, there are so many other non-reactionary frameworks that you can use to understand your experiences” post go around (unfortunately from. a lot of my mutuals.)

and it’s really frustrating to me bc like. i would love to hear them!!! i would love to discuss different lenses of viewing the specific kind of oppression that transmascs face, i would love to learn about different perspectives!!

but so much of what’s out there either 1) doesn’t include us at all or 2) insists that our oppression isn’t anything more than transphobia, or that it’s just misdirected transmisogyny, or that it’s just transphobia and misogyny, but no discussion of how transphobia and misogyny interact to specifically impact transmascs. it just feels so disingenuous and dismissive because whenever we talk about our experiences, no matter what language we use, we’re shut down over and over and over again.

Godddd I saw that post the other day and could not help but roll my eyes. Saying there's "so many other frameworks" to use disregards a fundamental reason why this framework is being created in the first place: transmascs, across different ages and races and other variables, feeling silenced and absent in other models of society, even those claiming to be for trans-feminist. Like if you are trying to convince trans guys to not use the term transandrophobia maybe start by acknowledging the absence of proper frameworks to discuss the unique position of trans men & mascs. & you know damn well none of these people will acknowledge how every other iteration of "transandrophobia" ALSO got shut down for being Problematic™, including "isomisogyny" which was literally just misogyny with a prefix attached to assure cis women that we would never DARE to imply that transmascs might be oppressed by the same social force as them!

But that's the problem with people trying to make the discussion of anti transmasculinity palatable! They want to have a version of this discussion that isn't threatening at all to the deeply ingrained anti (trans)masculinity in queer spaces. Literally any criticism, no matter how lukewarm or carefully handled, is labeled "reactionary." After you get rid of everything that people hate about transandrophobia theory you are left with none of the things that make it valuable to transmascs + everyone else who benefits from this discussion.

[stormyromance]

Let me tell you I was beyond disappointed after leaving christianity and going to "alternative" spirituality to learn that "alternative" spiritual teachers believe a lot of the same crap about sexist gender roles that the christians do.

[femininedating]

I don't want to be my own man. I want to be the divine woman.

[thatgentlewife]

Please? 🙏 ❤️

[unavailableapple]

Funny how the same people who call me a pick-me for being a gender nonconforming woman also insist that they’re nonbinary because their identity is so much more rich and complex than ‘woman’ and women just can’t understand because they don’t have the fascinating inner lives that ~nonbinary~ people have.

[ajokeaboutadog]

"I have no interest in coddling men" actually means "I'm one of the most racist/fatphobic/terfy/classist motherfuckers you're ever going to meet, and I know exactly which axis to attack you on to expose the vulnerabilities of those marginalized classes." See if they ever decide to stop "coddling" the 6'2 daddies or the perfumed and performing twinks, fucking unlikely.

[eclecticwordblender]

i know this aunty who happens to be a homemaker and perhaps she is the only woman in my parents' social circle who is not financially independent. apparently she has never been very good academically and "chose" to be a homemaker. but her street smarts are absolutely off the roof. she has the highest emotional intelligence that i have ever encountered. she has a great sense of aesthetics. she has amazing people skills. her home is always impeccable. she’s a brilliant cook. her husband also has absolutely no idea about the functioning of the household because she has handled it so well. might i add she is also naturally very conventionally attractive. even at the age of around 50 she looks like she’s in her early 30s at best. this woman is the ideal tradwife by any standards.

her husband is also quite nice to her. always acknowledges her role in taking care of his household and his children. he’s generally one of the nicest and kindest men i’ve ever come across tbh. but despite all his niceness and kindness there is the occasional wife joke. and after all the emotional and unpaid labour she has put into their lives, it is his house after all. there is an obvious power dynamic where she constantly acknowledges her husband as someone she depends on, which is obviously true because she has no monetary independence. also, despite how smartly she manages the household, there are always jokes about how dumb she is in every social gathering and it is extremely humiliating to say the least.

this couple has a daughter who is in her late 20s now. she refuses to get married. now this aunty's in-laws refuse to get off her back because apparently she has failed as a mother because her daughter refuses to get married. aunty is often insulted about this in gatherings. her father in law once reprimanded her saying that she had one job staying at home and she couldn’t even do it properly. obviously, she was pissed off and answered back saying her husband was an absent father altogether. surprise surprise the husband started yelling at her in front of everyone saying that he had to break his back working for his wife was too stupid to get a job.

i’m sure these fights have escalated in private because recently aunty had a talk with me saying that i must earn my own living no matter what. this is the first time ever. we’re pretty close and she never said anything of this kind. she has also stopped pestering her daughter to get married and recently admitted that she is right about not wanting to get married altogether. i have also witnessed a recent drastic change in her personality lately. she isn’t as chirpy as she had always been.

now i do not know what is going on with her behind closed doors. but what i do know is that she has nowhere to escape because she has no monetary support.

if you think being a tradwife is a great choice, THINK AGAIN. perhaps your husband treats you right, but remember your life is at the mercy of how he treats you.

in an ideal world, money does not have the kind of power it does in our world. but unfortunately, we do not live in such a world. we as women, must, first and foremost secure financial independence for ourselves. money buys everything, even emotional and care labour. as educated and employable women, we also have a moral obligation to women who do not have the same privileges as us. we have a moral obligation to do whatever we can to offer them avenues to access whatever freedom we can bring their way. we owe it to the women who came before us, to the women who live with us, and to the women who will come after us.

YOU ARE A WOMAN BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.

YOU OWE IT TO YOUR SEX CLASS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.