#felt like i was working a 9-5 with a deadline

[bl-inkstone]

the ghost of my christmas past is me sitting down in front of my laptop for over 10 hours to write a 5k+ wc companion fic to my friend's own oc-centric fic after not writing anything more than 1k words for over a year

[absolutebl]

Best & Worst BLs of 2023

My Top 15 BLs of 2023 are (in order)

1 Our Dating Sim

Korea Viki

Nerds in love, deadlines, gaming, teasing, pining tiny idiots, casual affection, linguistic oops, ADORABLE. If you haven't watched this, it's a must. A perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy.

I adored every aspect from the casting to the pristinely simple premise to the quietly smooth execution. Sure it’s low stakes, but that makes it high domesticity and extremely warm and gentle. This is a fuzzy blanket of a story - a cozy BL. It lives in my rewatch pile and you know what’s best about it? Every single episode is in that pile. There’s no skipping with this one, it might be good natured and calmly sweet but it’s tight and the pacing is excellent.

Also recieves my 2023 award for best giggle.

2 I Cannot Reach You

AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan Netflix

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen.

Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way.

This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

Also wins the best thirst award.

These were the 2 BLs that got 10/10 from me in 2023. The rest of these got 9/10 from me.

3 My School President

Thailand YouTube

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? My favourite GMMTV BL offering to date. And yes, I've watched them ALL.

Received the Namgoong award for best wingman 2023.

4 I Feel You Linger in the Air

Thailand grey

IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework. Steeped in history and family drama this is an elegant and classy BL. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. It's a marker of how great it was that it's so high on my list despite the ending which was very much not what I wanted.

Additional accolade, sexiest moment of 2023 - (the oil scene).

You could try to fight me, but you'll have no grip.

5 Kiseki: Dear to Me

Taiwan Gaga & Viki

The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs (everyone is queer), and a KILLER side couple. It involves all the tropes under a very offhand framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan.

Best side couple 2023!

(thank goodness Taiwan made this list!)

6 Jun and Jun

Korea Viki

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. With a snappy (sometimes even raunchy) script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching.

Best flirting 2023.

AKA "the tongue knows" award

7 The Eighth Sense

Korea Viki

This one is a bit chewy and sticky and less perfect than most KBLs. It’s got a bit of an age gap, country boy/city boy, stellar acting, complex characters, and leads with great chemistry and tension. This isn’t in the KBL bubble, there’s sharp edges and lots of triggers. For a BL the darkness of the content left me feeling unsettled (which is the only reason it didn't get a perfect score) but it has a glorious ending and that counts for a lot.

2023's most likely to appeal to non-BL watchers.

8 Unintentional Love Story

Korea iQIYI

The lead, Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT, who carried this show. He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, which he used to carry a killer plot and challenging role. Forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the eyes EMOTING at us in PAIN. Driven by external conflict, social tension and pressure this story seems simple but it's actually refined and quite complex. I loved this show.

Best story structure 2023.

9 My Personal Weatherman

AKA Taikan Yoho

Japan Gaga

This is classic yaoi of the kind that really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's high heat is well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" which is exacerbated by the fact that they're already fucking. Sure is sexy tho.

Best use of props 2023 for the shower of sheets.

10 Our Dining Table

AKA Bokura no Shokutaku

Japan Gaga

Lonely salaryman and talented cook gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his little brother. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. It's lovely & sweet with the romance beats used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy. Special.

First prize for domesticity.

11 Laws of Attraction

Thailand iQIYI

This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. It’s tons of fun and I had an absolute blast watching it.

Charn wins my favorite character of 2023.

12 La Pluie

Thailand Viki

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL. With good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn high marks.

Most interesting concept 2023.

13 The New Employee

Korea Viki

So good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also found family and a lesbian bestie. This is what I wanted from this new crop of office set KBLs ALL ALONG. Rainbow rice cakes forever!

Best overall queer rep from Korea.

14 Step By Step

Thailand Gaga & YouTube & Viki

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk which added tension to the narrative and character development.

Chot wins best queer character 2023.

15 Love Tractor

Korea iQIYI

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed = all my favorite silly tropes.

Biggest "he so pretty" gasp of the year award.

10 Worst BLs of 2023 (that I watched)

My Blessing

My Universe: Casanova Begins

Boyband the series

Cafe In Love

Chains of Heart

Hit Bite Love

Only Friends

Senior Love Me

The Luminous Solution

The Promise

Yes, you read that right. I know I'm against the flow but I really did not like Only Friends. Everyone's taste is different.

However I DNFed faster and more BL's this year than ever before, so that means my 10 worst probably aren't quite reflective...

10 Probably Actually Worst BLs (I dropped 'em)

My Story

The Day I Loved You

Beyond the Star

Crazy Handsome Rich

Dinosaur Love

House of Stars

Mr Cinderella 2

Love Bill

Stormy Honeymoon

The Star Always Follow You

Codicils in General

I only carefully track/watch Thailand, Taiwan, Korea, and Japan. Other countries are not fully represented.

My Numbers

So my spreadsheet chronicled 138 BLs that finish airing in 2023.

101 = watched & reviewed

2 = still in the docket (WDYEY2 & Love Syndrome III)

15 = CNF (could not find)

20 = DNF (which also accounts for how few very low scores I handed out in 2023 as opposed to previous years, I just stopped watching). Speaking of which...

Ratings spread

(# of stars. #of BLs given that rating)

0 (see the DNFs instead)

2 - IT'S DEPRESSING they killed the gay, save yourself

7 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM WATCHING AND NEITHER DOES IT

7 - FATALLY FLAWED but still basically BL, however… do we want to support this kind of behavior?

9 - WATCH IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO but don’t expect much, it’s a total hot mess

17 - WORTH WATCHING BUT FLAWED probably around the ending or in narrative structure/cohesion or censorship

14 - RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS i.e. isn’t quite BL, convoluted, not strictly HEA, too short/long, or chemistry issues

30 - RECOMMENDED some concerns around tropes (like dub con) or story structure but still satisfies as BL

13 - ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED probably a few pacing issues or one flaw

2 - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED faithful to tropes, happy ending, good chemistry, few flaws, high rewatch potential

(source)

[flanaganfilm]

Hey, Mike! Did moving to Los Angeles at the start of your career turn out to be all that you thought it would be? It’s a big step that a lot of people take, and I’ve never really heard you talk about those early years before. Did you ever contemplate quitting? And if so, I’m glad you stuck to it - we love your work!

Oh, I contemplated quitting many, many times.

I moved to Los Angeles in January, 2003. I had just graduated the previous summer from Towson University, and a group of five of us moved out together. Some wanted to be filmmakers, some wanted to be actors. We shared a 3-bedroom apartment in Glendale. The adjacent apartment was occupied by four other Towson alums. Between the two apartments, we called it "Little Towson." I didn't own a car at the start. I had no health insurance. I'd saved a few thousand dollars to get me through the first six months, but none of us had jobs at the beginning. I remember applying (and being rejected) for a job at Walmart. I combed Craigslist looking for non-union editorial gigs.

I had told myself I'd give it five years, and if I hadn't gotten any traction, I'd move back to Maryland.

People started dropping out pretty quickly. One of my roommates (and one of my best friends) had moved out here to be an actor, and only lasted a few months before he decided to go back. It's overwhelming and terrifying to take a leap into a city as expensive as LA, and you're surrounded by people who all want the same career that you want. But it feels like there is a thousand foot wall circling the industry, and it seems impossible to scale it.

I found work doing odd editorial jobs before working as a logger, than an assistant editor, then an editor on a few reality shows. I shot and cut those local car commercials you see on late night cable. And I frequently ran out of money and overdrafted my account. As more and more of our original group gave up and moved back East, I started to feel more and more crazy. A lot of my friends from school were getting married, buying houses, having kids. I felt pretty delusional as my 5-year deadline came and went, and I still hadn't found any way over or through that wall. When we started to talk about making Absentia in 2010, I had been in LA for more than 7 years. I was working two jobs as an editor. I found out I was going to be a father. It felt very much like whatever I'd wanted to happen by moving to LA was not going to happen. Absentia was kind of last-ditch effort. Ultimately, the five year plan I'd allowed myself when I moved to LA turned into a 9-year plan. I started shooting Oculus - my first "real" movie - in the fall of 2012, just shy of my 10th anniversary in Los Angeles. That movie wouldn't come out for a while after that, so by the time I actually had a career as a filmmaker, well over a decade had passed struggling in LA.

For most of that time, my refusal to move back to Maryland looked (and felt) like a delusion. Only afterward did it start to look like "tenacity." And it never felt like "persistence" or "determination"... it felt insane. It felt like constant, daily frustration and rejection. And when I couldn't pay the bills, or couldn't land a job, it felt downright embarrassing.

For what it's worth, the only difference I've seen between people who "make it" out here and don't are that the ones who made it all stayed long past their expiration dates. I've seen wildly talented people pack it up and head home. Talent helps a lot once the door is open, but really the only thing that opens the door is persistence. To the point of feeling insane.

[telomeke-bbs]

Okay, not (quite) anonymous any more, but still not (that) active yet. With all the recent discussion of episode 5 and the rooftop scene, I think I've yet to see analysis of 5 [4/4] 9:06-9:13, from when Pran says "We're not even friends" to when Pat says "That's right." Of course, we didn't know it on first viewing, but based on what we learn later from episode 12 [4/4] 12:58-13:54, what Pran says must have hurt. And we see it in Pat/Ohm's reaction. I'd love to see that deconstructed.

Hi @pandasmagorica! 😍 Sorry this reply is so late; I was struggling with my post about OS2 x BBS x ATOTS and also some work deadlines.

With regard to the Ep.5 rooftop, I must agree with you that Pran's comment "We're not even friends" must really have stung for Pat.

By this point he'd been totally swept away in the rush of his new-found feelings that he also knew were returned. But Pran, contrarian as ever, was vehemently denying the existence of closeness to his face. And to deny that they were even friends when they had actually been so close and affectionate behind the scenes before must have felt like a gut punch to Pat, who was laying himself so bare and vulnerable here.

For almost all of Ep.5 we watched as Pat sank deeper and deeper into the disorientating realization that he had somehow fallen in love with his supposed rival. And he must have been pushed so close to the brink of despair by the swell of these anguished, bottled emotions that he couldn't wait even a second longer than necessary to confess it all to Pran (which of course is quite in character for our open-hearted boy).

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.5 [4/4] 1.18

This was why he waited up for Pran down at the base of their block, drunk as he was, so as not to miss his return. And when he was prevented – by Wai's presence – from expressing all that was churning within him, of course he couldn't contain that pressure and it all erupted into a brawl.

But Pat on the rooftop is now showered and clearheaded, and once again focused on his task of confessing all to Pran.

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.5 [4/4] 7.45

Unfortunately, as before, Pran is unaware of Pat's true feelings and is expecting their usual jostling, competitive dynamic to be the framework of their exchange. And so Pran continues to toss barbs at Pat, thinking he'll find some way to lob them back as he'd always done before.

And in a sense he does, but Pat's energy is different now. For him it's not a game anymore and the usual teasing impishness that we saw so much of in preceding episodes (and at the start of Ep.5 too) is gone.

This scene is also a callback to (and a parallel with) Ep.3 [4/4] 6.09 – in the corridor there, Pran had been so moved by Pat's generosity and help with the bus‑stop that he decided to dial back on the rivalry and was wanting to take things to the next level.

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.3 [4/4] 6.51

This was the motivation behind his seemingly off-the-cuff "Have you eaten?" at Ep.3 [4/4] 7.20 – he was wanting to interact with Pat socially instead of as a competitor (see this write-up linked here for more analysis). Before this, the only other time we'd seen them at a meal together was at the wonton noodle stall (Ep.3 [1I4] 6.20), and it only happened by accident (and Pat soon turned it into a chopstick battle anyway) so I like to think Pran was wanting a romantic do-over in Ep.3 [4/4] by asking Pat out for a meal.

But there in the corridor Pat only seemed to want more of their usual relationship dynamic (more gameplay), and he signaled this with another of his bait-and-switch moves, lulling Pran with the return of his guitar and then saying "I just like to see your face… when you lose."

Here on the rooftop the tables have turned. In the corridor of Ep.3 [4/4] Pran was left resigned with Pat's unchanging focus on their rivalry (and yet maybe still relieved that they could continue their relationship, even if it was based on competition). But on the rooftop it's now Pat – all ready to bare his soul – who is thwarted and exasperated by Pran instead.

During the fight scene we already saw Pat getting annoyed at Pran (who was operating in their default mode of pretending to be bitter enemies). And he retaliated with a refusal to play along, turning snarky when Pran said "Why? Is it so hard to accept defeat?" at Ep.5 [4/4] 2.41. Pat's snide response "Defeated by that lousy song. Why would I feel anything?" landed like a slap too (though Pran couldn't have felt it, unlike Pat and us viewers who knew the truth behind his sarcasm). Because of course Pat had his heart torn to shreds when he finally understood that the song Just Friend? was really about Pran's unrequited love for him, and was now speaking to his feelings for Pran in return.

So on the rooftop Pat – perhaps annoyed at having to delay the confessing of his own truths – calls out the double-sidedness of Pran's comment and laces his response with more sarcasm and layers of unspoken meaning. His skewed, sardonic smile when he says "That's right" is a mix of sadness and derision, a colloid of contrasts ironically just like the relationship that they've always known – a forced mix of enmity and friendship, a combination of two opposites that will never truly meld.

If we're being generous, it's possible to read that Pran intended his "We're not even friends" to mean something like they're not allowed to be friends in the fullest sense of the word, in front of society and the world at large, even though they were always friends behind the scenes. But what Pat does is to take the literal meaning of this and flip it on its head.

They're both aware that their illicit friendship exists, but it's a friendship that dare not speak its name because of outside disapprobation. Pat's answer in the affirmative also snorts cynically, not just at Pran's surface denial, but also at their pitiless circumstances that don't allow them ever to be seen in front of others as anything besides bitter rivals.

And this is why he goes on to list why others might think they're not friends – in spite of the fact that (for all intents and purposes, except for how their relationship is presented to the world) – they actually are:

"How can we be friends when our parents despise one another?"

"How can we be friends if we live next door to each other yet can't even talk?"

"How can we be friends if we have to compete against one another in everything?"

But just like his sarcastic "That's right" and the cynicism of his mirthless smile, his words here are rhetorical, and are meant to highlight the opposite of what they seem to be saying – because his list is only made up of obstacles to friendship, but not reasons for enmity.

Their parents' mutual hostility, the ban on communicating with the boy next door, the enforced competition – these were constraints imposed on their friendship, but in themselves are no foundation or justification for any kind of animosity between them. And early on, little Pat and Pran found ways to get around the barriers and become firm friends in all but name, because there was never any justifiable reason for them not to be so.

Pat is calling Pran out here; he's telling Pran that he's just repeating what they'd been told since childhood, but the two of them, despite having drifted apart after Pran was sent away – they know better. And he's also calling for an end to the verbal gameplaying, and for them to face their truths.

Because after each rhetorical question is the silent, unspoken answer that BOTH know to be true:

"How can we be friends when our parents despise one another?" "But we ARE friends…"

"How can we be friends if we live next door to each other yet can't even talk?" "But we found a way around it…"

"How can we be friends if we have to compete against one another in everything?" "The competition was never a barrier to us ACTUALLY becoming friends…"

He's using rhetoric and sarcasm to illustrate that they weren't allowed to be friends and they've been conditioned not to call themselves that – but it doesn't change the truth about their friendship.

And I think Pran hears him loud and clear – despite what the world's been telling them all their lives, they are close and they have been friends, which is why there's a discernible softening on Pran's part.

I think Ohm did a fantastic job in Ep.5, heaving onto his shoulders the weighty stone that was also BBS's glowing heart, when it was Nanon doing all the heavy emotional lifting in the first four episodes. You can see what Pat is going through – but just in case you want further insight regarding his inner turmoil, BBS actually lets us in on a little more info.

Pat's audition as Riam in Ep.7 [4/4] 5.26 was also a play-by-play repetition of the Ep.5 rooftop scene, but Pat/Riam verbalizes his feelings a bit more directly, and adds further dimension to our understanding of Pat's motivations while on the rooftop.

(above) Bad Buddy Ep.7 [4/4] 5.26

Using Riam's voice, what he says in Ep.7 [4/4] cuts out all of his previous rhetoric, and instead speaks plainly of his weariness with the gameplay and of his willingness to give it up (repudiating his playful corridor self of Ep.3 [4/4]):

"I’m tired. Tired of pretending to hate you while your face has taken over my heart. Aren’t you tired too?... Let’s stop it. I don’t want to play this game anymore. I don’t want to lie to people anymore. You asked if I still wanted us to be friends. What if my answer is no? What do you say?"

Part of why Ep.5's rooftop scene hits so hard is not just because Pran walking away embodies the loss of a romantic story that could have been. It hits also because we see just how far battle-weary Pat has come, on a rollercoaster journey of grappling with emotions (over the course of just one episode) that Pran had taken years to integrate as part of his reality.

The loss is all the greater because we see how much it cost them to get to this point. For Pat it meant dismantling his worldview and lifelong sense of self as Pran's rival in every respect – and yet he was willing to cast it all aside, after recognizing the truth underlying his closeness to Pran.

As BBS is also an allegory for the lives of queer people, all the rumination around "friends who are not friends" here (also calling out to Pat's favorite among all of Pran's personally-scented tees) parallels how closeted LGBTQ+ relationships are often not allowed to speak their truth to wider society.

But while the allegorical message may speak to us intellectually, I think it gets drowned out by the molten magma at the searing core of this scene on the rooftop, which communicates directly – deafeningly – with the heart. All intellectual preoccupations aside, it's also just two young, would-be lovers stumbling through a conversation where so much is unknown and so much has yet to be said, trying to find the truth of their relationship in the maze of all the semantics – which is what many of us who have had to navigate young love must have experienced at some point.

Some of us get beyond the maze and fall into the truth behind the words straightaway. Others, like Pat and Pran, will have to take a little longer to get there. But as they ultimately demonstrate, it's always worth the journey when your erstwhile "friend" (or "enemy") turns out to be your soulmate instead. 💖

[autistpride]

What is time blindness?

Time blindness is actually a term more frequently used in the ADHD community.

Due to the fact that ADHD is a comorbid conditions with autism and time blindness is an executive functioning struggle many autistic individuals also struggle with time blindness as well.

Time-blindness is a phenomenon where a person does not recognize that time is passing, or how quickly it’s passing, or how soon an event or deadline is approaching.

We simply do not sense time passing the way most people do.

A person struggling with time blindness could be working on a task look up and the clock says 3. They look up what feels like much later and the clock says 3:05. They They look up what feels like very little time later and the clock now says 8. How?! Time felt so quick that second time but it wasn't and they forgeot to use the toilet, eat a meal, and do the other tasks for the day they needed to.

Some other effects of time blindness are:

-tasks not today or tomorrow seem ages away

-delayed sending a text, email, or returning a call and not realizing it has been two weeks

-being late or overly early every time

-gone out expecting to just a few minutes and come back hours later

-burning a meal that's cooking because you stepped away for what you thought was a minute

-starting every story with "the other day" because anything in the past is lumped together

-painful memories stay fresh longer because it just stays in the brain as if it just happened instead of processing

However there are some positives to time blindness!

Like being able to sink into a good book and forget the world, getting swept away by a project, or enjoying outings or people in the moment without time constraints

Hyperfocus is also a time blindness related thing. When hyperfocused individuals often lose all track of time while neglecting body needs such as food, water, sleep, or the toilet.

Here are some possible tips to help. I personally use 8/10 of these.

1. So many clocks. All the clocks everywhere. And reminders.

2. Visual timers!

3. Write down all the things you do during a day so you can reflect and see that you accomplished more then you realize. This will also allow you to look back on past days and know more precisely when something occured.

4. Track how long a task takes so you know for future that you need to account for that amount of time to accomplish that task.

5. Make long term deadlines into smaller ones. If an assignment is due in a week, split it into fourths and set dates throughout the week by which each part needs to be finished by.

6. Alway keep a schedule in front of you. Make your calendar your phone wallpaper or add tasks with alarms to your phone or watch.

7. Take notes with sticky notes or digitally and keep them in an easy to access location.

8. Stop hyperfocus before it starts when you can and if you can't have alarms set to try to help change your focus.

9. When estimating time for things, estimate off the worst case scenario and possibly also add an additional twenty minutes to that that for unexpected things like needing to get gas.

10. Do the same task at the same time each day. It becomes easier to mark the passage of time when you have performed that task time after time and doing it at the same time each day helps set you into a routine.

[milkteamoon]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @shinyopals thank youuuu

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 42!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 340,042

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently and primarily The Magnus Archives — I only rarely write for multiple fandoms at a time. In the past I've written for Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun, Deltarune, Victoria's Electric Coffin......a friend and I used to write OC/Black Butler crossover fics in like, middle school lol

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Cicada Summar (JSHK, rated T, gen) — Pre-canon JSHK backstory fic

No Sort of Name for People Like Us (TMA, rated T, jmart) — mid s3 practice kissing fic

Our Own Personal Hell (TMA, rated T, jmart) — s2 time loop shenanigans

Tongue to Teeth (TMA, rated T, jmart) — victorian monster hunting au

Check Each Box That Applies (TMA, rated T, jmart) — s2 lunch dates and personal discussions

Cicada Summer was posted at the height of JSHK fandom popularity, so I don't think that one is super representative of my "best" fics, though I do think that No Sort of Name is pretty good haha

5. Do you respond to comments? I do my best to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Prooobably Hazy Days of December...I got a lot of people yelling at me for that one haha (even if I don't think it's too bad? It's open ended at least)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Umm I'm not sure! I think most of my fics are happy endings...maybe Worth More Than All the Silence

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a few weird comments but I don't think I've ever gotten anything outright hateful

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've written a few fics but must of my smut stays in the Google docs. My asexual ass likes things more focused on the humorous lead up and/or kink than the actual sex part haha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think the closest thing I've written to a crossover is the doctor who au I wrote earlier this year — I don't really write proper crossovers :,)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Don't think so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Me and @indigosienna attempted to write a collab fic back in 2020, but we both ended up falling off of it before we finished (oops). The first chapter is still good though I think!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? HARD question, but jmart and hananene both have very special places in my heart

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Too many fic ideas to list haha

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm pretty good at humor and getting into a character's head. Also love writing an emotionally charged scene

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue heavy scenes are the WORST (writing dialogue tags without sounding stupidly repetitive...shaking my fist at the sun). Also forever complaining about editing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don't know any other languages well enough to do so

19. First fandom you wrote for? I have vague memories of writing warrior cats fanfiction waaaaay back in the day

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a haaaaard question but currently I'd have to say 1. Learning the Ropes — I originally started this for the RQ big bang in June and didn't make it to the deadline, so it felt like a big accomplishment to actually finish it. Plus I just really like delving into that era of canon and Jon and Martin's whole not-quite-dating shtick they have going on. And 2. Tongue to Teeth — I really love this fic and this au and I was noooot at all expecting the love for it I ended up getting on it. I love this silly au and I'm glad others do as well :,)

Not sure who has been tagged so! Sorry for any repeats! @rakel-on-ao3 @asleeb @thatsrightdollface @crit20lesbian @phynoma @lo-fi-charming @pinehutch @cnnmonbimee

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

so I was fucking TIRED of being inconsistent and generally behind on this, such that I sat down and made myself watch 5 episodes in a row, which isn't a lot of episodes but also like man, you know? Also as a sidenote earlier in the year when the friend I'm watching all KyoAni shows with mentioned how long he expected it to take if we never missed a day he came up with August 22nd - now this date assumed we'd only ever watch one episode a day and that that'd apply for specials as well, which would have been pretty stupid and added on like a month, so it's not like the actual formal "we have to finish by this date" date. But also, it's kind of a fun goal, isn't it? Like we're so close to it that it has to be possible, I want to have it done, you know? To that end I'm hoping I can watch Second Raid at a faster pace than I've been doing before, but we'll see.

Anyway, as for the episodes I watched today:

Episodes 8 and 9 are a two-parter in which Tessa briefly joins the school and later they go on a hot springs trip. I didn't really like these episodes at all - Tessa's kind of just annoying, her rivalry with Kaname is obnoxious, and the hot springs episode is an excuse to watch Kurz and some of the NPCs try to peep on the girls, which I just literally did not enjoy a single second of.

Episode 10 sees Bonta-kun Sousuke train a group of yakuza members so they can more effectively take on a different group of yakuza members, with an action climax involving rescuing Kaname and her friend. Felt kinda lame. Every element that composes this conflict was done better earlier - Bonta-kun in his introductory episode as well as Ponytail, rescuing Kaname literally everytime that's ever happened, and Sousuke training a bunch of incompetents in the rugby episode. So just wasn't really it.

Episode 11 is a flirting competition so there's a lot of early 2000s haha women dialogue that was pretty annoying, and moreover it was boring for a lot of the runtime, but there's a pretty sweet scene at the end of a disguised Kaname rescuing Sousuke from a bad dare punishment, it was quite nice.

Episode 12 sees a biohazard released into the classroom such that Sousuke detains everyone so they can all safely die together, hilarity ensues. Pretty entertaining actually. The get-out-of-jail card at the end is that actually, it just dissolves clothes. Frankly these last couple episodes have really upped the sheer amount of fanservice scenes compared to just earlier in Fumoffu. No strong feelings on that.

And thus, the show is finished. I was kind of between 4 and 5 for my score, honestly I think the main thing I felt about the show for the bulk of its runtime is that it's kinda boring, but there's generally enough there to where I felt a 5 worked, certainly the first episode made me laugh out loud and there are enough like single-line gags that would get to me. Sousuke overhears high-school boys trading photos of the girls using vague terminology the entire time and saying out loud "I understand. They're trading narcotics" or something, that's funny. More broadly after hating every single character in the original series it was nice to watch this and straight up enjoy Sousuke as well as be able to tolerate Kaname. Not hating this is such a huge upgrade over the first season anyway, so.

Next step in FMP groupwatch is I'll watch Second Raid episode 0 since it's 5 minutes long, and then starting tomorrow I'm gonna have to make pretty good time knocking out the proper 13 episodes remaining and then the OVA as well. We'll see if I can't hold myself to that August 22nd deadline. Gaming.

[lokiandbuckysdoll]

Ok so... this request totally isn't based on real life or anything lol 💚💚

How about you have started to work crazy hours over the last few weeks, even weekends and super late at night. Your boyfriends, Bucky and Loki are both worried about you and want you to slow down so you can relax a bit but you tell them you can't because you need to finish your project by a certain date. The closer you get to the deadline, the less you are sleeping and eating and the more concerned they are. When you finally finish it, they take care of you and make sure you completely de-stress

@vbecker10 I hope you like the fic💚 sorry it took me a while to write it :(

~~~~~~~~~~

Work Overload

Summary: In the ask^ 

Paring: Winterfrost x Reader

Word Count: 1,295

Warings: Implied smut, mentions of injured reader, (i think that's all but let me know if i missed something)

~~~~~~~~

Exhausted was the only word you could use to describe how you felt both physically and mentally. Your job had been handed a major project, and your boss had assigned you to be a part of the team for this project. You were excited and thrilled when you heard the news, but that quickly died down when you realized how much time this project took from your personal life.  

Your work hours for the project had started off  as your regular 9-5 job for the first two weeks, However by the third and fourth week you kept staying an hour later until you eventually found yourself leaving at 11 or 12 at night. This made your personal life with your boyfriends hard, you had to cancel a night outting or you'd apologize because you won't be able to make dinner on time.  

 Obviously Loki and Bucky both knew how important this project was for you and the company you worked for. They were very understanding, however they had to agree that the hours you were starting to work wasn't normal. You assured them that you were fine and doing okay, they also made an effort to wait up for you and made sure you were taking care of yourself and eating even if it was at 12 in the morning.  Until things took a turn. 

Two weeks before your project's deadline a few employees had quit which made it all the more hard to finish the work on the project. Not to mention your boss had suddenly taken time off to go on a vacation leaving you and a few other co-workers you had left to complete this project.  

With this you had pushed a breaking point, once you got home from the work night before you'd  get only a few hours of sleep before you were up again getting ready for the next day. You had to skip breakfast and lunch, instead choosing to eat some small snacks at work. Loki and Bucky would bring you food to work because they knew you would hardly eat anything when you were home. 

What made them worry even more was the last week before your project was due. You didn’t sleep much, only taking small naps. When they tried to get you to eat and sleep properly you would snap at them telling them you were fine and that you just needed to get this project done. Although they were upset they did give you your space to complete your project.  

You felt awful for yelling but you were just trying to get this project down so you could relax and spend some quality time with your boys. The last two days you had been pushing yourself to get the project done. Once you finally finished  everything you felt like a weight had been lifted off of you.  

So the morning of the due date you were in a rush to get to work and turn the project in, you said a very quick good morning and goodbye to the boys and off to work you went. Your work was crazy that day, people running around trying to get things done. By the end of the day you felt extremely exhausted, your co workers wanted you to go out with them to celebrate but just wanted to rest considering it was already 10pm. 

~~~~~

After leaving work you drove straight home with all the energy you had left, upon arriving at your home you heard the faint sound of music playing. Before you could open the front door Bukcy beat you to it, he stood there looking handsome as ever in just his red henley and sweatpants. 

 “ Welcome home doll” he moved to the side to let you enter. Once you entered the apartment the smell of your favorite pasta hit your nose and your mouth began to water.  

Loki came out of the kitchen wearing only his silk emerald robe while holding a plate of pasta and a glass of wine. “ Oh good your home darling” he smiled as he  made his way over to the sofa.  “Please Come sit” he gestured you and bucky over. “ What's going on?” you question as bucky is helping you take your coat and shoes off.  

“ Well we thought we’d make dinner since you probably haven’t eaten” Loki moved to sit on the sofa as you and Bucky did the same. “ Really?” you meant for your voice to sound cheerful but it ends up coming out as a  brittle one. They both take notice of this and buck is the fist one to speak. “ What's wrong?” He gently caresses your face with his hand. 

“ Nothing it’s just i haven’t been the nicest to the two of you and yet here you are still taking care of me and making sure i’m okay” the dam broke and you began to cry. Their gesture mixed with the exhaustion you were feeling came tumbling down.   

“ Aww darling” Loki pulled you into his arms and let you cry. “ I don’t deserve you two i truly don’t” you moved to pull bucky into the hug as well.  “ Stop that you do deserve us  just as much as we deserve you. We know how important your project was, now that it's over, relax and let us take care of you”  they both kissed the top of your head. 

After a while you calmed down and you were able to relax, you ate the pasta they made and you swear it was the best pasta you had. They laughed at your exaggeration knowing that you were saying that as you were tired. You had the glass of wine  loki brought as well which led to another and soon you felt even more relaxed and bolder.

You move to sit on Loki's lap and you begin to playfully kiss him. They both caught on to what you were doing.  One thing led to another; you ended up pinned between Loki and Bucky that night. 

After last night you’ve never felt more relaxed, You were very grateful for your  two men. The following morning you woke up cuddling between your two loves. You took a moment to admire both of their features, feeling all giddy inside like a schoolgirl.

Slowly and carefully you detangle yourself from their embrace and head to the kitchen. You thought you'd make breakfast for them, you should've just stayed in bed cuddling with them. 

As soon as you tried to reach the top shelf you slipped and hit your shin hard on the floor to break your fall. You knocked everything you had on the counter over. Loki and Bucky were quick to wake up and rush to your aid in protector mode. Bucky with his gun and Loki with his daggers.  “ Y/n? Are you okay!?” bucky dropped his gun and crouched down next to you as Loki cleaned up the mess with his seidr. 

 “ My leg, I think I just bruised it.” you point out as he tries to look at it carefully. “ It looks like you just bruised your shin, you'll be fine” he gave you a small smile as you huffed out in annoyance.

 “ Darling, were you trying to make breakfast?” Loki finally asked. “ yeah” you admit shyly as he helps you up. “ After we told her last night we’d take care of her she does this, i think our pet needs to learn another lesson” he smirked and bucky all but smiled as he picked you up making you squeal “ Bucky!” you playfully hit his chest. “ Your right she does need another lesson” 

Safe to say that day and the following weeknd was spent in bed as Loki and Bucky spent time and time again making you de- stress. 

~~~~~~

Taglist: @nana1000night @imyourbratzdoll @springdandelixn @hannibals-favourite-meal @sarahrogersevans @lokisgoodgirl

[reverieblondie]

Writing Patterns

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

I was tagged by @feyhunter78 , Please read their works they are amazing and have helped me so much! (thank you again btw!) I am sure I have a pattern! I tend to be a creature of habit.

The Dare -

Hobie casually struts into view, wearing Peter's favorite pink robe. He has a smirk on his face. He obviously was successful in the dare.

2. Clumsy Kitty -

“You have gotta be kidding me…”

3. Inspiration -

Biting your nails you stare at your blank computer screen, the blinking cursor almost seems like it's mocking you. Meeting your three-day deadline seemed like an impossible task. Two new writing assignments needed to get done, and what were these writings supposed to be about? Spider-Man of course!

4. Meeting -

Another dull meeting at the spider society, Miguel O’Hara the boss man himself stands on the stage giving us our usual depriving. Don’t go on missions alone, report anomalies in your dimension, turn in all paperwork promptly, keep an eye on new recruits, blah blah blah…

5. Rehearsing -

“Tsk, why did she have to say that…” Miguel can't help but feverishly type at his holo screens, with each passing second his irritation spreads.

6. Costume Party -

“I can't believe how crowded this place is, it’s not even Halloween yet?” 

7. Scary Movie Night -

“Oh no please don’t kill me Mr. Ghostface I want to be in the sequel!” Halloween night, alone with no plans but to watch the horror movie marathon on TV, pass out candy to trick-or-treaters, and gorge yourself on candy and popcorn.

8. Criminal -

The room is dark, and the sounds of whirling machines fill the space. The office-like space is filled with gadgets and an arrangement of computers, new developments in tech and torn apart failures. Then a low groan seems to light the room's holo-screens adding an orange glow to the space.

9. Clumsy Kitty: Part 2 -

Eyes still shut you are leaning on the warmest thing you have ever felt. It's so silky soft you can’t help but nuzzle your face deeper. The smooth breathing and the sound of a steady heartbeat lolls you further into a relaxed state.

10. Neighbors -

“Hey on your left!” A man on a bike rushes past you while you are walking. Hands filled with overflowing grocery bags, you had not seen that you had wandered into the bike lane. Jumping out of the way you narrowly avoid getting mowed down by the angry cyclist. 

I seem to always start with dialogs or some kind of scene setting with descriptions. I don't know if this is a good thing or not? Honestly am still super new at the writing thing. But I feel like I am seeing Improvement!

People I am tagging are @spdrwdw , @oharaslover , @exhaslo , and @skullghoulz

[umichenginabroad]

New Zealand Part 1 (Week 11)

One of the beautiful things about studying at UNSW is that during week 6 of our studies, we get a flexibility week where the majority of courses don’t hold class and students are given the chance to catch up with schoolwork, get ahead, or do nothing and just relax! My hostel-mates and I knew about this opportunity from the day we got here, so a big trip was always in the works. We even knew that we all wanted to spend the time in New Zealand. The only problem? There’s 18 of us living in the hostel together and we’ve had enough trouble planning trips for just 5 or 6 people, let alone 18. Everyone had a different vision of what a trip to New Zealand could look like between camping, or renting cars and staying in AirBnBs, or living out of campervans. Needless to say, the trip planning was procrastinated all through the 4 weeks of summer and another 4 weeks of term 1. Once in a while someone would say, “Guys, we really have to plan this. Plane tickets are getting expensive!” and they’d be met with more approval and support than a professor who has suggested extending a homework deadline. But, as expected with our group, no action would be taken. Until one person sits down and buys themself a roundtrip flight to New Zealand, nobody is going anywhere. Soon enough, after intense procrastination and discussion, tickets were bought, plans were made, the group of 14 (four couldn’t make it) had divided into two campervans and two cars (who would be staying in AirBnBs), and I was sitting on a plane to Queenstown. 

^^ Landing in Queenstown

Queenstown may not be among New Zealand’s 20 largest cities, but it is renowned for its adventure sports and stunning scenery, earning it the nickname "Adventure Capital of the World," as my friend Elizabeth would say. Our adventures in Queenstown, however, were put on hold until the end of the trip as we had a road trip planned that would take us up north to Christchurch and then back down to the Adventure Capital. So, on our first day there we picked up our car rentals and headed to Fiordland National Park for a quick hike. The greenest plants, mossiest rocks, and most colorful mushrooms riddled the paths and made our short hike one of the most memorable. 

^^ Some New Zealand Flora

I also felt a lot safer hiking in New Zealand compared to Australia. New Zealand has none of the snakes that Australia is infamous for and has an almost negligible amount of dangerous spiders compared to the numbers Australia boasts! With our glow worm cave tour waiting for us in Te Anau, we had to get back on the road quickly. Lucky for us, there are worse places to be driving than one of the most naturally beautiful countries in the world where mountains surround you in every direction and lakes bluer than the sky itself pop up out of the blue (pun intended) every few moments. We weren’t allowed to take pictures in the glow worm caves, but imagine yourself sitting on a boat in a pitch black cave with little blue/green specks scattering the ceiling. That was pretty much it! It was interesting to learn about the glow worms themselves – they glow brighter the hungrier they are (to better attract flies) and they’re actually larvae, not worms, so they just need to survive long enough to turn into gnats and reproduce. You may be wondering why I’m sharing so much detail about random worms. Well, as a recent trivia night attendee (two weeks in a row), I see every random fact as a future topic in trivia. You can thank me later.

^^ Just the average roadside view while driving along the west side of the South Island!

Milford Sound was next on the list. Just a two hour drive from Te Anau with the option of a bus service to shuttle you there and back, Milford Sound is a large fiord stretching 9 miles (or, 15 km should I say) to the open sea. Once there, a boat cruise takes you down to the ocean and back while passing waterfalls, dramatic cliffs, and some popular scuba diving destinations. Milford Sound was highly recommended as an activity on our itinerary, and it truly lived up to the hype! From the stops on the bus ride to the scenic cruise, I was in a constant state of awe that I will never forget. The rest of the trip was just as exciting, but I’ll cover it in the next post! Until then, Cheers!

^^ The car gang on our way to Milford Sound

^^ A snippet of Milford Sound

David Bayer

Biomedical Engineering

University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia

[semperreformanda]

I really have to remind myself sometimes my work environment is not my entire life. I got a promotion after 3 months into the company which I am grateful for, but I’m learning how incredibly toxic and disorganized my department is. Sometimes I regret accepting the promotion. I’m taking on work that literally 2-3 people can do and I’m not really compensated enough for it. I’m only 2 months in, but I feel a substantial improvement because I can juggle stuff better than when I first started, which is a huge relief. I had my coworker train me for 2 weeks but after that 2 weeks and I was working on my own, it literally felt like I was walking blindfolded trying to get a good grasp of where I’m going and how I’m going to do it. Everything is so fast paced, so...stressful. I’m trying to focus on the big picture. Sometimes it’s just so hard in that 9-5; it feels like the entire office becomes my life (if that makes sense). Then I leave work, and it feels like I take it home with me and I need an hour or two to feel like my normal self again. I leave the office doors, sit in the car, and throughout the drive home I write down what I need to do the next day. It’s like chasing and chasing and chasing and it never ends. But... the yearning to be a housewife is incredibly relentless. Lord willing, when we have a baby, I will leave that work anyways because I cannot for the life of me settle on the idea of sitting on a desk and serving strangers while I leave my own child at home for hours without its mother. I know it can be done and women have done it for years, but I just can’t. So...it’s not my whole world. I have to keep reminding myself. In the midst of angry cursing bosses, frantic deadlines, messy paperwork, multiple phone calls, staying back an hour late - unpaid, stressful meetings, corporate blame games, trying to figure out this and that and how does this work again and so many freaking things. This is not the entire world. This is... just work. And I need to just breathe.

[ippid]

Finding Passion - Kylian Mbappé

Chapter – 1

It was getting harder for me to pretend my joints weren't killing me, and I had to actually drag myself out of bed. I always wake up early because I'm motivated the day before to work out, and then I lay in my bed for what feels like seconds but is actually an hour or three. It's a bad habit I'm trying to get rid of without the trying part.

Meaning, I'm thinking about how much I need to do it and then actually not doing it.

Also, a bad habit.

Lately, I've been feeling more and more restless. I'm 19 years old, and I feel like I'm dead inside.

I'm not depressed or anything. Don't have any crazy stories to tell. I don't have any character-building traumas in my past or anything that would make me a person of interest in the slightest. But I'm feeling dead inside because my life is just so damn boring. Nothing ever happens, and I'm living in this stupid cycle where I feel like I'm never moving forward. I'm not accomplishing anything special in life, and I'm not making any crazy money either. I still live at home with my parents, and I've quit two of my previous attempts at college.

My parents are definitely disappointed in a failure like me. I just know it. I know my parents love me a lot, and they treat me well and support me and everything, but I can just tell they're disappointed because I'm not doing anything with my life.

I never wanted to be this way, but I can't help it. Not only that, but I see everyone around me moving forward with their lives. Buying cars and getting their degrees and jobs. I can see everybody enjoying life and then there's me who is just stuck in one place.

As I said, I can't help it. I get distracted easily and I lose motivation fast. The only thing I do basically all day long is search the internet for fan fiction and other interesting stuff that holds my attention but doesn't benefit me in any way. Or listen to music.

It wasn't always like this, though. Back in high school, I was still good. Everything was fine. I didn't have to do much for a good grade, and I knew I was a smart girl. I was good at a lot of things. Math, science, physics, languages, you name it and I could do it without having to kill myself to understand all the information. I was very proud of this fact, to be honest. I thought I was good and wouldn't really struggle much when I graduated.

That was a lie.

After I graduated and applied for college, I thought I would be interested in becoming an Architect. So I signed up and because it was the first year that everybody had to deal with Covid-19, the courses were hectic and everything became too much, too fast, and I couldn't keep up. I had always hated online learning anyway. The information just doesn't register. It feels like I'm watching a tutorial instead of a lecture. I kept putting things off and in the end, I missed the deadlines and felt like I couldn't do it anymore.

So I dropped out.

I lost interest, and I didn't think it was worth fighting for something I was probably not even going to enjoy doing in the future.

Back then, I didn't stress much. I was freshly 18, and I felt like I was still young, and I could explore my interests better.

So I signed up for a different field of study. I went and decided I could probably handle ICT. Wanted to become a software engineer, so I could make a lot of money and travel without having to go to work every day from 9 to 5. I thought it was a great idea and I would probably be able to do it.

I guess not.

Like the time before, these were still online courses and the material was just too complex for me to understand anything on a deeper level without real face-to-face explanations.

I realized some things then.

1. I don't do good without confrontation. In high school, I went to class and the teacher called you out if you had to answer something, and you just had to know these things if you didn't want to look like a dumb fool. So you studied and took in the information that was provided for you and everything was just easy. Here, you don't have anybody coddling you. You have to do everything yourself, and I am very bad at that. I always think I have more time than I actually do and end up procrastinating so much that I actually miss the damn deadlines.

2. I can't do something I'm not interested in because I will never find the motivation to actually research and do everything that is necessary to pass these college courses when I'm not even interested.

3. I really, really needed to search and find what I wanted to do, and what interests me because I can't keep starting up an education and then dropping out.

Not only that, but I think I will end up actually killing my parents if I do that. My mom's been feeling sick lately. Burnt out and tired. They had me pretty late, and my parents are definitely getting old. So I feel like every time I do something to upset them, or don't do something, I suppose, it weighs them down way more than it normally would or should.

Even with these realizations, I haven't gotten really far.

I just know I don't want a job where I need to think overly much and do paperwork all day. I want something creative and fun with variety. Something I won't get tired of. Something with lots of opportunities and where I can learn more without it feeling like a damn burden.

I've always been good at crafting, drawing, and fixing stuff. I like that a lot, so I've thought about doing something in that area, but I still have no clue what. I wanted to try photography. That's also something I'm very interested in since I've always been the designated photographer for people. But if I do that, then I want to be a photographer for sports or idols. Preferably, for K-pop idols. One of the things I enjoy the most.

I wasn't going to come to a decision right now, though, so I would just have to get up and try to help my mom in the house.

I never actually go outside if I don't have to. My parents have tried to get me to go out, so I could do something, but it's always a temporary thing, and it rarely comes from me personally. So I try to at least help as much as I can around the house.

I've never been a party animal. In fact, I've never been to any parties before, except maybe in middle school a couple of times. I have 2 or 3 friends that I snap with occasionally and one best friend who I almost never see.

I finally drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face before anything else.

My hair is a mess, and I try to rectify that with a bit of water after removing it from the bun it was supposed to be in and retying it in a ponytail. It always looks short. My hair doesn't grow fast and with it being so curly, I never really notice any differences in length unless I straighten my hair.

After I'm done with that, I tidy up my room a bit and head downstairs to greet my parents. I find my mom in the kitchen making coffee and my dad sitting at the table with some toast and a newspaper in front of him.

I know, and I told you, my parents are old. I greet him and walk up to my mom to kiss her on the cheek. ''Good morning mom.''

''Good morning sweetheart.'' My mom says, smiling at me. That's new, she's not usually smiling this early in the morning. ''What's up mom?'' I say. ''Why are you smiling like that?''

She brings the coffee to the table and sits down next to my dad before turning to me. "We have something to tell you, honey."

Okay, now I'm even more curious. ''We're going to go on a little vacation, and we want you to come with us.'' Oh. Well, I wasn't expecting that, but I'm definitely not complaining. ''Wow, mom, where to?'' I ask ''And how long?''

''Well, we were thinking about going to Paris for a week. It's not that far from here, so we don't have to go by plane. We can take the train.'' She said. I thought about it for a second while taking a seat at the table.

Like I said before, I never really go out and have fun, but I did always have the desire to travel. We live in the Netherlands, Amsterdam, and I have never been to Paris before. Which is crazy. I heard amazing things about Paris, of course. And it didn't hurt that a lot of people moved there for their studies, so maybe with this little vacation, I can at least find some inspiration as to what I want to do in life.

With that, I made up my mind. ''That's great mom! I've always wanted to go there.'' I say ''When are we leaving?''

My parents look at each other and smile. I could see I made them happy with my enthusiastic answer. They've been a bit more insistent that I have fun in the last couple of weeks. So my agreement is probably a relief for them. I can feel that familiar pang of guilt again. They really do deserve so much better than me. I've got to get my shit together.

I try not to let it get to me while I wait to hear when we're leaving.

My dad is the one that answers after looking over at me, ''We're leaving early in the morning this coming Friday, and we'll stay there for 8 nights. We'll return Saturday evening. Make sure you're packed and ready to go on Thursday, kiddo.'' Wow, I hadn't thought we'd be leaving so soon.

It's Tuesday today, so I don't have much time left till we leave. But that doesn't even matter because it's not like I take forever to get ready. I only have to pack clothes.

The more I think about it the more excited I become. I smile to myself and look over at my parents ''Alright, I'm really excited about this! I'm going to let Jess know!'' I say while getting up, ready to run back to my room and phone, so I could text my best friend to let her know.

''Not so fast kiddo, breakfast first!'' My dad says, making me turn around and sit back down quickly.

My parents laugh while I speed through my breakfast, and once I'm done, I quickly kiss both of them on the cheek before sprinting upstairs, ready to tell Jess the news.

.

.

.

A/N

Word count :  1875 words

[eddisfargo]

Not a day will go by (9/?)

Hello my patient friends! Sorry for the wait! It won't be this long again (for real this time)! This is a Christmas fic for last year's Secret Santa, and I've given myself a deadline to finish it before this year's secret Santa. Specifically, I'm trying to finish before December 18, which is mine and @cosette141's birthday! Thanks so much to everyone who's still reading and leaving comments--they keep me going when my brain refuses to write! Thanks especially to @MotherKat for being the best beta EVER! I'm going all out in November, and I've actually already got Chapter 10 written!! So it won't be too long!

Tagging: @resident-of-storybrooke, @everything-person, @teamhook

AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9

Summary: He may not remember his present, but she doesn't know his past. If she did, she wouldn't have married him… right?

Let’s go home . 

She’d said it so simply, leading him back to the yellow machine, as if the concept of home was a given. A home they evidently shared. With a boy who he supposed was his… stepson. Because that had gone so well for him in the past. 

Home . 

The Jolly was his home. Perhaps he should start staying there, rather than in that house he didn’t remember. Should he suggest it? She’d probably be relieved. Or perhaps she’d worry that he’d simply sail away. Perhaps she’d be right. 

“Babe?” Her voice jolted Hook out of his thoughts, and he realized he’d hesitated outside the door of the building. 

He looked at her, working out how to phrase his intention to return to his ship without arousing her suspicions. “I don’t –” he began. 

She’d started talking at the same time, her face falling. “Sorry, I shouldn’t – Killian. Probably not Babe right now, right?” she laughed awkwardly. Truthfully, he hadn’t been called by his given name for so long that it felt more familiar than any pet name, but he elected not to correct her. Leaning against the wall, she let out a breath when he didn’t finish his thought. “Is something wrong?” 

Hook tried to find the words he’d come up with, but she looked so… tired. “Nothing,” he said finally. 

Emma looked at him for a long moment, searching. Hook had been prepared for the suspicion in her eyes. He hadn’t been prepared for what else he saw there. It was nothing he could easily name, but it made his lips go dry. Breaking eye contact, Hook started walking in what he hoped was the correct direction, if he’d oriented himself correctly – being instantly transported what seemed to be at least a mile was testing the limits of his sense of direction – but he had a feeling that this was the right way. To his relief, Emma began to walk beside him. 

They walked in an uncomfortable silence for a time, until Emma cleared her throat. “So… I guess we’re going to have to tell Henry.” 

Hook frowned. He’d thought he was doing alright at deceiving the boy. “Are we?” 

She looked at him like he was talking nonsense. Again. “It’s a little big to keep from him, right? And maybe… maybe he can help.” She smiled fondly. “This kind of thing is kind of right up his alley.” 

Hook opened his mouth to ask what exactly qualified under this kind of thing . But he couldn’t stop seeing the looks directed his way in that little room just now – the significant glances as certain things went unsaid. He… owns the local pawn shop . 

So he asked a different question. “What are you going to tell him?” 

She looked a bit pained. “ We are going to tell him the truth.” Shooting him a sidelong look, she added, “An… age appropriate version, if you don’t mind.” 

Ahh, after his slip-up, she’d lost any faith in his ability to regulate his mouth. That had been an error, but clearly she had no idea just how much he had managed to keep to himself. And that, of course, was how it would stay. To demonstrate, he only grunted his agreement. 

“And hey,” Emma added after a moment. “Maybe you’ll remember much you – how fond you are of the kid.” 

Hook grimaced. So it was true, his future self had been playing at fatherhood. And here he thought he’d learned from his mistakes. 

Suddenly, the woman beside him took his hand. 

“Hey,” she said, pausing in their walk. “What are you thinking?” 

He was thinking that trusting him with a child’s well being was ill-advised, but he wasn’t fool enough to say it, so he remained silent. It was only when she squeezed his hand that he realized that, almost of their own accord, his fingers had laced through hers. This betrayal by his own remaining limb shocked him into honesty. “That I’m not exactly stepfather material.” 

Her mouth opened in surprise. Fool , he chided himself. He removed his hand from hers and started walking again, faster. 

“Killian,” she said, arresting him. Facing away from her, he didn’t have to see her face. Instead, he saw another face. It had been so long since he’d indulged in this particular remembrance that the face in his mind seemed to have changed, attaining a marked resemblance to Emma’s boy. He felt a wave of grief he hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge for longer than he could recall. 

“Killian!” she said again. He turned to face her. “You’re a wonderful stepfather.” She radiated sincerity, but she didn’t know . She looked so bloody sympathetic . “I can see why you might… doubt this, but you’re actually a great role model.” She smiled mischievously at him. “Most of the time.” 

He felt the strange urge to reveal a part of his past that would doubtless make her question this strange opinion she seemed to have formed of his suitability. To unburden himself – no , to make her see why whatever perfect man she thought she’d married was a lie. Then perhaps she’d let him go. 

“There are things…” he said, keeping his voice steady with more effort than it usually took. “In my past… things you couldn’t possibly –” 

Incredibly, her face cleared. She reached out to touch his face, and he managed not to pull away. “Oh,” she said, as if she understood, although there was no way she could. “You’re thinking about Baelfire.” 

Hook froze.

Impossible.

“How…” he breathed. “How do you…” 

“Killian,” she said gently. “Do you really think I married you without knowing the significant events in your life?” 

He found himself unable to answer. How could he open his mouth and say yes, of course he thought that. Why would a woman like she seemed to be have married him otherwise? “I…” he managed to say, with effort. “I told you?” 

“You told me all of it, eventually,” she said. But she couldn’t possibly know what all of it entailed, not if she was looking at him with such… sympathy in her eyes. She bit her lip suddenly, taking his hand. “But some of it… I heard from Baelfire.” 

The words knocked him breathless for the second time in as many minutes. He was vaguely aware that he was being led into the relative privacy of a small alley behind a shop, but his thoughts were a jumble. 

“Baelfire?” he rasped. “You… you’ve met him? He survived?” Hook had always wondered what became of the boy after his escape. When he’d let himself think about it at all, he’d feared the worst, and laid the blame… where it belonged. The guilt hung heavy around his neck–guilt he allowed himself to feel for precious few of his crimes. 

She looked very sad, suddenly. “He survived Neverland, yes. He got out. But…” As Emma trailed off, closing her eyes, Hook could see the truth in her face. He started to ask something – anything – but found himself unable to speak. 

Emma took his hand and held it to her face, which he found strangely comforting. Softly, she continued. “He forgave you, you know. Before the end.” Hook shook his head, denying the possibility. “It’s true, you made up,” she continued, quietly but firmly. He tried his damndest to maintain his skepticism, but the sincerity in her eyes left no room for doubt. Still, he kept shaking his head, because it was all he could do. Baelfire . Milah’s boy. 

Somehow, without realizing she’d drawn towards him, he was in Emma’s arms, utterly disgracing himself. He had never shed a tear over Bae. He’d used the last of his tears up after Milah, he’d always believed. But perhaps the grief had always been there, just waiting for somewhere safe to be expressed. Safe . With this woman? This stranger ? She was probably repulsed by his show of weakness, in broad daylight behind a shop that sold shoes. 

He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, but as his senses filtered back, he could feel one of her hands rubbing his back, feel fingers running through his hair. Could hear soft words, gentle words, whispered in his ear. No one had ever… no one had ever tolerated such a display from him. Nor would he have given anyone the chance. Not since he was almost too small to remember… Not since he’d realized his father wasn’t coming back. 

Hook jerked up suddenly, mortified. What had possessed him to take leave of his senses that way? He had never, never let himself break down like that in front of another person–if he ever had at all. He couldn’t bear to look at her, to see the expression . A grimace, surely? No, somehow she didn’t seem the type. Pity, then. Any revulsion, she’d be kind enough to hide. Steeling himself, he straightened. With more reluctance than he’d like to think about, he pulled out of her arms, and finally looked her in the eye. 

And found he couldn’t look away. 

There were tears in her eyes too. Not pity, no. But sympathy. Even… understanding. Perhaps even… well. Something more. 

He cleared his throat. “I… apologize,” he said stiffly, “for–” 

“Hey,” Emma said softly. “You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. I should’ve realized you’d have to grieve him again.” She took his hand yet again. “But you know… in a way, he’s not really gone.” 

Hook frowned. “What way is that, precisely?”

“Well, Henry’s his son.” 

Hook staggered back. Just when he’d thought the earth-shattering revelations were done for the day. “He’s what?” At Emma’s small smile and nod, he shook his head, unable to process. “But how ?” 

“Hoo boy,” Emma said gravely. “I kind of thought at your age you’d have figured out the facts of life. Okay, so sometimes, when a man and a woman–” 

“I know bloody how! ” Hook said quickly. Did she really think–no, of course she didn’t. Her eyes were twinkling at him. Catching himself about to smile back, he frowned instead. “But he was… he was a child! ” 

“Umm, yeah. He was a child. Like twenty through two hundred years ago. The thing about not being in Neverland is… you grow up. By the time we met, even physically, he was older than me.” 

Hook tried to readjust some things in his head. Of course Baelfire was older than Emma–Bae had likely been older than anyone else alive, saving himself. And perhaps the Crocodile, if he somehow still walked the earth. But it still felt strange to think of him with a son . A son with… Hook’s wife? He put a hand to his head, trying to understand. Realizing he’d started to pace the alley, he used his nervous energy to resume their walk. 

Perhaps it was a lie? But no… he’d met the lad. The resemblance was there, now that he considered it. Gods, but he’d even mistaken the boy for Bae – for his father – at first glance. 

A sudden realization hit him. “Did I… steal you from him?” The thought of it bothered him more than he would’ve expected. It wasn’t as if he’d considered a married woman off limits, but breaking up the same boy’s family twice seemed rather bad form. Especially after everything else he was responsible for, where Baelfire was concerned. 

“No,” Emma said firmly, “you did not. We didn’t formally get together until after he was gone, but even before that… Neal and I weren’t together. There was a lot of baggage between us, and… it would never have worked out anyway.” 

Hook walked silently for a moment, trying to figure out what he’d missed. He’d heard that name recently… He finally placed the context in which he’d heard it, but that just created more questions... With a sigh, he finally asked. “Who’s Neal?” 

“Oh! Sorry! I meant Baelfire. Neal’s the name he went by when I knew him.” 

“Ahh,” he said. But no, that didn’t solve the puzzle. “And why was he… teething?” 

There was a moment in which Emma looked as confused as he felt, before she burst out laughing. 

“Okay, that’s a different Neal. The little munchkin my parents were holding? Baelfire’s namesake.” 

It took him a moment to connect those particular dots, the unfamiliar word “munchkin” not particularly helping, but it was clear enough what she was telling him. Evidently his wife’s first husband was beloved enough by her family that they named their son after him. That was a lot to live up to.

Not, of course – he reminded himself – that he was going to try. He was going to get on his ship and sail away. Leave this town that did nothing but confuse him. Leave this woman who kept looking at him in that infuriating way, as if she understood him. As if he mattered to her. She didn’t know him. Regardless of what shameful secrets she apparently knew, had apparently forgiven him for. 

She’d be fine if he left. He was beginning to think she might cry for a while, but… He walked faster, as if to escape the idea. Beside him, Emma sped up, staying by his side. She gave him a warm smile as they reached the door to their house. Hook started. He hadn’t even been thinking about where he’d been going, but he hadn’t been following Emma, either. Once again, his feet had led him straight here. 

The word home entered his mind, unbidden. Shivering, he walked inside. 

[sorryiwasasleep]

Personal rant

I started my final year of schooling last week and I’ve already missed 9 out of 11 classes so far. I’m burning up all my unexcused absences and I can’t even bring myself to care at all because I don’t want to be in this program getting this degree and I feel incredibly trapped and overwhelmed. I can’t make myself do the readings. I can’t make myself go to class. I can’t make myself care. I can’t seem to do anything at all but lay in bed. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this for another year. Fuck, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this even just next week when I no longer can miss class without an excusal. And I can’t drop out anymore cause the deadline for full reimbursement passed, but also that was never a real option for me anyway cause dropping out would also likely mean moving home and that’s just as bad for my brain. Even right now I should be doing my readings for my class that’s at 3:30, but instead I’m typing this. Because I’m sad and I don’t care. But because I didn’t do the readings? I feel like I can’t go to class, so I WON’T which in turn is a problem cause I am using all my skips and I’m missing the first two weeks of class so I’m going to go in SO fucking confused next week probably. Shit shit shit shit fuck.

TW: weight discussion, emetophobia, eating disorder mention (just by name nothing specific), ARFID, depression, anxiety, apathy, mention of American politics

Heavier discussion below

I recently realized (i don’t have a scale in my apt) that I lost about 40 pounds in the span of about 5 months all from a combination of stress/my ADHD medication suppressing my appetite (vyvanse bitch ass doesn’t even work) and stress induced vomited and also vomiting because I treat my body like shit (don’t drink water, cope with unhealthy substances a lil too often, don’t eat anything remotely healthy, barely eat at all anymore if I’m being honest). I knew I’d lost some cause clothes were looser. I thought it was like 10. But no I know how much I weighed in March and it was a full difference of 40 and I know part of this stress and the stress induced vomiting are being caused by school and it’s like… I have another year. Am I just gonna keep wasting away? Something’s gotta give here and I know shit has to change but I have absolutely no drive to actually climb out of the hole I’ve buried myself in. I feel like there’s no point and that even if I crawl out, the world is the same and my family is the same and I’m still in this program and so nothing is actually different anyway. I just wanna let the dirt consume me. I wanna lay in my bed with a sitcom playing mindlessly in the background while I work on my silly little fanfictions until everything just stops except I lay in bed and don’t even do those things but am paralyzed by all the things I should be doing instead that I neglected because I didn’t care and I still don’t care enough to do it, but I feel bad enough to not do anything else either in that time. And I know that’s BAD and that having no motivation for anything is obviously super a ‘ur depression is worse girl’ (hi yea i fucking live inside this stupid head so I already fucking know that. @/my psych and parents). but I keep getting cancelled on or stood up by therapists and my psych has told me three appointments now shit like ‘Well what do you want me to do about?’ (Without even fucking considering something like uhhhhh… idk changing the meds I’m on? Since I’m at the max dose for my anti depressant and I’ve been on it for about half a year and I feel it stagnated because while it seemed to help when I started, now I’m worse? Like, I tell you I feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life and you answer ‘And what do you want me to do?’ YOUR FUCKING JOB? Provide me with my options???? Not be a dick?) And she keeps saying I have to find a therapist because the meds only do so much (I had one but she went on maternity leave in January and then when she came back from it I was too broke to pay every week (which is what my bitch ass brain needs) and then when I wasn’t broke any longer she had ghosted me and she also was my provider for two years and never actually gave me any coping mechanisms so I kinda wanted a new one anyway). The psych did not like when I laughed at her and said “And will you fucking pay for it?” in response the first time she said it even though obviously I know she’s right.

My roommate told me the other day also that I need to get a therapist and that I have to focus my energy into that because she can’t listen to me say the same complaints anymore (she said it nicely, but like I’m crying rn thinking about it and will likely never feel safe to share with her anymore for worry of annoying her.) She also said she doesn’t think I want to help myself. That she wants me to get better and obviously it’s shit what’s happening but that I’m not doing the (what are to her obvious and to me impossible to actually do because of familial enmeshment and financial dependence) things that could maybe make things better. Even though… I AM trying to help myself. Yea it’s not the best I can be doing, but it’s as much as I can fucking manage given my surety that none of this matters and isn’t that worth something? I’ve been looking for a therapist since MAY. They keep standing me up or cancelling or they’re booked or they don’t take my insurance. I had five (5) telehealths where I got stood up. Starting therapy anew is already terrifying but when the person doesn’t show up it just feels like shit. It made me feel like they looked at my paperwork and decided I wasn’t fucked up enough when the reality is yea I held back slightly but that’s because I needed to know the vibes of the place first. That’s not what happened (for at least three appts anyway. The other two ghosted me also after so I never got explanation so maybe it did) but I still felt that way and for someone who already has a lot of problems with imposter syndrome and deep insecurities around being forgotten it really sucked and was incredibly unprofessional of any worker but especially mental health care professionals to do. I have one on Friday. Let’s hope this one doesn’t stand me up 🤞 Also, back to my ungodly amount of rapid weight loss, I did have 40 pounds that could’ve been shed and I am still not what would be consider ‘skinny’ but an average weight, so the worst part of this whole thing is that people are telling me i look GOOD now. Literally it was my MOM. She always implied I’m overweight and need to lose it and pretends like it’s ‘in your best interest honey’ meanwhile I can’t even do the fucking obligations I’m tied to? You think I can fucking do EXTRA? And yea I should use that kickboxing class that I bought, but not to lose weight mother, but because I’m not physically fit in that I cannot go up stairs without getting winded and because I have all the rage in the world (a portion of which goes to her!) and hitting things makes me feel better and it expires soon and was $40 I won’t get back. None of those reasons have to do with my weight, but if I mention I went to that class to her? She’s going to be SO excited on the phone, for all the wrong reasons thinking it’s me trying to get thin, when it’s me trying to get healthy. That is not equivalent to weight loss necessarily, as clearly evidenced here since I lost a shit ton unhealthily. This weekend I got a ‘Do you lose weight? Cause you look great!’ from her. 🫠🙄And i know that people would even more so do that if I do continue on this path of wasting away even though I’m actually unhealthier than I’ve ever been with my eating habits and the weight loss is a result of my depression and anxiety spiraling worse. How about we as a society stop fucking commenting on other peoples weight period full stop. Also it’s SAYING something that I’m the worst ever rn because food and I have always had a weird vibe. I recently learned what ARFID is and I’m fairly confident I’ve had that my entire life and just never had the name for it so that’s certainly something. Anyway idek what the point of this was other than for me to shout into the void because I was sad. If the void wants to shout back and tell me how I’m supposed to function in this life that’d be great cause I didn’t even HIT the state of the world and how that causes half my lack of motivation for anything in this post, but god the American political and legal landscape fill me dread and anxiety and anger and I can never escape them.

TLDR: I’m sad, I can’t bring myself to go to class at all in these first two weeks of classes. I need a therapist but they keep cancelling when I finally get an appointment and find one that accepts my insurance. My psych is kinda bad and my roommate was trying to help but did it in a way that hurt me more. I wanna drop out but can’t and also school is impacting my mental health so severely that I lost an extreme amount of weight in a short amount of time. Got complimented by mom even though I’m literally unhealthy. Separate from that but intertwined, I might have ARFID, possibly for my whole life and I am genuinely SHOCKED it never once was suggested by a medical professional to my parents when I was a child.

[seekerwithsneakers]

moved to a uni in another city for summer research ... the campus is kinda empty, my supervisors are leaving for a week, i dont know anyone ,,, i have so much time but the dread of being alone makes me just watch kdramas and stuff to feel good but i worked today for like 4 hours and those 4 hours felt good

it is just that stopping the shows is so hard and makes me feel terribly lonely

also i feel lost in the research part ... like when studying for exams or during the school year i know about deadlines but here i dont know how to set deadlines for myself... i need to get something out of here

also self studying for GRE i feel kinda slaggy like yes i am studying just not enough

i have set my goals fr each day but i barely meet them -

ok ay maybe schedule the day ->

morning till -12 - internship work

1 - lunch

2-5 research work

5-6 vocab gre

6-9 chill +dinner

9-10 practice questions

i should start using the questionbanks judiciously cause i will loose access to test prep by the end of this month

[independence1776]

@spiced-wine-fic asked: 2, 5, 9 and 20 please (for the Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing meme)

2. Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

Apart from Nano, it varies year by year.

Nano I’ve done since 2004 and I win most years. But 2023 is likely my last year of doing Nano; it’ll be my twentieth year and that’s a good stopping point. Right now, it feels like I’ve grown beyond Nano and the community I once had there is pretty much gone. Due to various things that came to light in early December, I no longer trust the Nano nonprofit.

There are always SWG challenges that catch my attention, though I can’t say that I always do them or that I post the results. They vary, they’re always interesting even if they’re not for me, and I love the effort that goes into them. I’ve often scrolled through the list of previous challenges just looking at them all. My favorite of these is the Matryoshka challenge; I will in fact go overboard given the slightest bit of leeway. (There was a lot of leeway with the recent one. I do not regret it.)

I’ve participated in TRSB as both a writer and an artist, but not every year. 5k isn’t on the face of it a challenge (blame Nano), but it’s been a challenge more often than not. As an artist, I like seeing what results from my artwork. But collaborations can be tricky and not everyone is on the same page about what collaborations entail.

I’ve also done Innumerable Stars off and on, which is always a fun, mostly low-key exchange. I’ve done other single-fandom exchanges, too.

I’ve participated in some themed multifandom exchanges (Darkest Night is the one I did most often) and those are fun. They’re also fraught because I’m too monofandom for most of them. Back to Middle-earth Month was something I did yearly because as a mod I felt I had to do something, even if that something was a true drabble. (Modding is hard work. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.)  I occasionally do fandom charity auctions, but not on a regular basis.

In general, apart from the Matryoshka challenge, my favorite writing events are Big Bangs, where you write X number of words and get art for your fic. I prefer the ones that are “X number of words due on Y date” and not ones that have staggered “first chapter must be posted but fic can be a WIP until Z deadline.” But there’s something about the combination of motivation, deadline, and art that works for me.

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

At home on my desktop with instrumental music playing in the background.

9. Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

Canon divergence AUs are hands-down my favorite things to write. I love exploring the what-ifs, how things could have gone differently, and the snowballing effects. In order to write them well, I think-- and I try to do this-- is to know canon as best as you can so that the divergence feels natural and that the consequences of that difference are realistic within the established worldbuilding. (It’s like if Frodo died on Mount Doom with Gollum. Even if Sam survives, what happens in the Shire after the Hobbits return wouldn’t occur the same way because Frodo isn’t there. But a story that ignores that falls flat.) As you can tell, I also like canon-compliant fic.

I have no interest in writing setting alteration AUs (like modern, mermaid, etc.). I write fanfic because I love the canon and I want to explore more of it. Changing the setting so everyone’s a werewolf or that they’re all human in the modern world takes away a large part of what I find interesting. The exception to this is Silmarillion space AUs, but those tend to keep the epicness intact.

20. What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

In Tolkien fandom, Elrond. Given how popular he is in general, it’s hard to remember just how minor of a character he is, but he is. He’s one of the threads tying the Legendarium together, both in-universe and thematically. And I love him to pieces.