#felt like i needed to put it somewhere else

[hanjsquokka]

❛ you're the one. ⠀𓏔⠀ bc.

bang chan × fem!reader — established relationship, non idol! au, wedding! au, based on chan's unreleased song baby, fluff

summary — you've been through all the ups and downs life has thrown at you, now you take the last step to be with the person you love the most, with some surprises from him, of course, what did expect?

warnings — alcohol (champagne), lots of kissing, it isn't clearly stated but chan is a songwriter!

word count — 3k

author's note — happy chan day!! 🩷 this is just butterfly inducing fluff, i've recently finished watching my demon and my wedding fever took over lol. i've only been to this kind of wedding once in my entire life and that was over ten years ago lmao so i apologize if i made any mistakes. i hope you guys like this one 🫶🏼🫶🏼

The dress you bought a month ago felt stuffy the more you paced around in it, your bare feet wearing down the floor of the room you were waiting in, trying your best to practice walking around in the gown so you wouldn't trip in front of everyone and make a fool of yourself and get the nerves out of your system. You weren't getting cold feet—no, that wasn't the issue. You wanted this, but the gravity of the whole situation plus the people that were outside, waiting for you, made your stomach queasy.

Marrying Bang Chan was a decision you took without hesitating for a beat. You'd dated him for four years—four beautiful years that you cherished. You've never met a man like him before, someone so... full of love, so much to give to everyone around him, so much happiness when he was with the ones he loved, and a fierce protectiveness that came along with it. You never thought being with someone could be so life-changing. Memories of the two of you flooded your mind as you walked around, the sensation of the wooden floor both soothing and overwhelming at the same time. Your first date, your first kiss, your first anniversary—so many firsts that made your heart feel fuzzy. If you had to describe him in one word, it would be perfect, even if he didn't agree with it. To you, Chan was perfect. He was the perfect balance of tender and sensual, someone who would go to the ends of the earth to make sure you were safe, a man straight out of a book (sometimes you feared you would wake up from this dream and find yourself alone, that you had imagined this near-perfect human loving you out of everyone else in the whole world).

“Y/n,” your friend called. You almost jumped to the ceiling like a frightened cat, placing a hand over your chest to calm your racing heart, turning around to see her, dressed in navy blue satin, as your other friends and bridesmaids, who were most likely outside, made their way down the aisle with their paired groomsmen—Chan's friends. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but it's time.” She said apologetically, not wanting to agitate you further. The nerves were written all over your face; she understood that, seeing that the event about to unfold was once in a lifetime and you were a bit of a perfectionist. 

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat, and you looked around for the bouquet you placed somewhere, in the mess of clothes that were strung out in the room. The theme of your wedding was white with navy blue, hence why your bridesmaids and maid of honor wore navy blue; the groomsmen had blue orchids as their boutonnières, as did Chan, although you hadn't seen him since the previous day as he stayed over at his friend's place, following the tradition of not seeing the bride (or bride to be?). You barely ate anything in the morning, feeling too jittery to keep anything in your stomach.

You let out a sharp exhale a few moments later, clutching the navy blue roses with some other tiny white flowers you couldn't put a name on with the jumbled mess that your brain was in currently, once you were sure you had everything you needed. Your heartbeat was loud in your ears, like drums playing in the background of a movie scene, except you were the only one who could hear, and maybe anyone who stood closely to you. Your hands gripped the bouquet you were holding tighter, some part of your brain screaming that you would break the stems if you didn't release your iron grip.

The wedding march made your anxiousness reach an all-time new peak, looking at your friend one more time and feeling a bit better at the sight of her reassuring expression. She mouthed a ‘go get your man’, making you blush furiously, even as she quickly went away to where the others were standing. 

Walking down the aisle, you were in a daze. You recognized your friends and family in your peripheral, your parents smiling wide and holding back tears, Chan's parents having the same reaction—but your vision tunneled at the sight of your almost husband. Your fiancé, dressed in a dapper suit, looking as handsome as ever. A hot bubble of emotion swelled up inside you as you drew closer to the end of the aisle where he was waiting. Other than the nagging thoughts in your head that were telling you not to make a fool of yourself by tripping and falling on your face, you could only think of Chan. When you finally reached him, you could see unshed tears glistening in his eyes and a smile so wide it made your heart skip a beat.

Chan was absolutely starstruck the moment he saw you. To him, you were always beautiful, but right then, seeing you in that dress, holding a bouquet of flowers, and coming to him, a conundrum of emotions swirled inside him, his throat feeling tight with each step that you took. Once you finally reached him, he wanted to tell you a million things, but the words died in his mouth as he stood in your presence. 

Neither of you were able to say anything, but he took your hands into his after you handed your bouquet to your maid of honor, a thousand words passing through both of you in a single gentle squeeze.

I love you.

The officiant started the ceremony, most of which passed by in a blur for you. When the vows were exchanged, a few tears slipped down your cheeks as Chan read his. The words were so romantic and profound, they made your heart hurt in the best way possible. He kept looking up, locking eyes with her as he recited the words that seemed to come straight from his soul. While you were doing yours, you could barely keep the paper still in your hands as you read. Your fiancé had a way with words that you didn't have, but you hoped it sounded as good as it did when you first wrote them a few weeks ago. Once the rings were exchanged with trembling jands and the officiant pronounced you as husband and wife, Chan wasted no second to pull you close and capture your lips in a searing kiss. Your face flushed at the sudden action, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on you, but Chan didn't let your attention wander from him for too long. 

“My darling girl,” he said quietly when the two of you pulled away to catch your breath, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You look absolutely breathtaking. I wanted to say that earlier, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth.”

You smiled widely. How he managed to make your heart flutter with the simplest words, even after all these years, was still a question to you. “Thank you. You look handsome too.” Your hands found the lapels of his tux and straightened it. Another kiss was pressed to your forehead before he moved to take your arm and lead you back down the aisle, almost Cheshire cat-like smiles on both of your faces, petals of flowers being rained upon you by your friends and family as you walked past them. 

Happiness—pure happiness filled you to the brim as you walked beside Chan, your newlywed husband. There were cheers from your friends and younger cousins, which only increased the emotion you were feeling, laughing along with them so much you felt your cheeks burn from the smile fixed onto your face.

While the guests shifted to the reception area for the food and drinks and cake-cutting, you two took a breather near the dressing rooms before you had to take photos with the rest of the wedding party.

Chan squeezed your hands; you could see his body was almost vibrating with excitement. “My beautiful wife,” he said, a giggle following after his words. You must've looked like two children to others, but you could hardly care about that in the moment. “I love you. So much. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest.”

“Mine too. I'm worried someone can hear it if they stand too close,” you admitted, a sheepish chuckle following afterwards. His eyes were crescents,nearly disappearing as he beamed at you. “I love you too, Channie.”

You were ushered to the outside venue to take pictures with your wedding party and close family. It took a long time, much longer than you wanted it to. Even after your family and friends had left to the reception area, the two of you were stuck, made to do thousands of over-the-top poses (which made you laugh, in turn taking even longer) by the photographers in order to capture that perfect wedding portrait. By the time you dragged your feet to just outside the room full of people, you felt your stomach growl.

“I think it's going to revolt if I don't eat soon,” you said with an amused snort, placing a hand over your grumbling tummy. Other than the fact that you hadn't eaten properly in the morning, your mind was now fixated on the lunch that awaited you—a lunch you and your then boyfriend now husband had planned carefully, including all of your favorite dishes that were on the menu and desserts and, of course, your two tiered chocolate and vanilla wedding cakes you were yet to see.

Chan let out a few more of those adorable giggles you were addicted to. “I've been dreaming about this meal for the past five weeks.” The way his thoughts were similar to yours, it made you feel better and slightly terrified at the same time. You could hear someone speaking, about to announce the two of you as you walked in the room. You felt your hand being tugged, so you turned to your right and saw him nearly bouncing in his place. “Ahh, they're going to do it, they're going to do it—they're going to call us together.” You couldn't help but smile at his adorable excitement.

And they did announce you as newlywed husband and wife, the two of you walking hand in hand into the room. The cheers and applause only got louder as Chan suddenly spun you and dipped you as he kissed your lips. Your gasp of surprise was swallowed by his mouth, him holding you gently and roughly at the same time, keeping you in place until he kissed you breathless. You were flushed and panting when he pulled away and brought you up to stand straight again, a cheeky smile on his face when he saw your flustered reaction. There was a whistle, probably from his friends, ever the rowdy but endearing bunch they were.

Lunch followed shortly, a delicious meal that had you salivating as they served it on your plates. The moment you took a bite, you did a little happy dance in your seat, only freezing in your spot when you heard your husband's laugh, and you felt a bit embarrassed for a few moments before you dug into your food again. It was as tasty as you imagined—even better, to be frank, since you were starving. You were glad you were sitting next to Chan and nobody else, who only encouraged you to have as much as you'd like instead of making backhanded comments about how many servings you were having. It was your wedding after all, with the food that you paid for. It was only fitting to eat until you felt like you were going to burst.

The reception venue was decorated beautifully. You took in the details once your train of hunger had slowed down. The flowers, the name cards, the decorations, and all of your guests. You felt an insurmountable feeling of joy. Everybody was chattering gleefully, digging into their lunch and pointing to the different photos hung up around the room. It was your friends’ idea to do that—have little memento photographs strung up around the area to make the event more you. They were from dates or small gatherings, all which you both selected (so Chan couldn't give out those highly embarrassing photos he had stored away in a folder in his gallery). 

The cake-cutting after lunch was probably your favorite part of lunch. You felt bad that you were going to ruin such a gorgeous cake, but the promise of that luscious chocolate cake you had tastes ages ago when selecting the flavor and design was too tempting to resist. You almost tipped over the entire thing when you tried to move the knife out of the spongey inside.

As the day went on and most of the older people had begun to leave after lunch, giving both of you gifts and wishing you well, the evening cocktail party had started. The DJ started to play more slow and romantic music, inviting you both to have your first dance. Despite practicing it numerous times, it was like you were in a Disney movie when you were doing it now, time moving in slow motion. You could feel the warmth of his palm on your waist, the other holding your hand as he gracefully led you through the waltz. Soon, other couples joined you on the dance floor, and you moved to the rhythm of the song.

Toasts and speeches with champagne were held shortly after, his best man, your maid of honor, and then finally your own husband giving speeches. Chan speaking into the mic was an unrecited event; you didn't know if it was more of a spur of the moment thing or if he had planned to say something from the start.

“Hello everyone,” he said, clearing his throat. “I'd like to thank you all for coming here to celebrate my wedding with my gorgeous wife. It means a lot to me that you're here with us.” You could feel there was more to his speech, even though there was light applause from the people around you. Chan focused his attention on you. “Y/n, you're the love of my life... I know I said this a lot during our vows and our proposal—and every day, to be honest. I will never get tired of saying it. I was thinking day and night on how to make this special day even more special, something that properly displays how much I love you, from the bottom of my heart. Finally… I ended up with this. I hope you like it.” He didn't say anything else and turned to the DJ. His friends, the groomsmen, joined him, which only made you furrow your brows even more.

A pop beat started to play through the speakers. You saw him hold the mic closer, knowing glances passed between him and his friends as the music continued. It was a lively beat, something that sounded familiar but you couldn't put a finger on it. Then it hit you all at once when you met his eyes. It was the song we were working on a couple weeks ago, one that made him fumble and shut the computer down when you walked into the room to hand him coffee. When you questioned him, he merely replied with a vague ‘it's not good yet; I'll show you when it's perfect’.

When he started singing, you felt your heart thud in your chest, goosebumps forming on your skin. It was like a performance, with him singing and dancing a little and the groomsmen as his background dancers. Your friend nudged you when he sang something along the lines of ‘popstar in the streets but a rockstar underneath’, making you blush furiously and even more at the smirk he had on his face. 

And then he pulled you into the dance, twirling you around. You were surprised at first, but you slowly let yourself loose and followed his movements. Your laughs were drowned out by the music, but you knew he could hear them, and that prompted him to continue his song. You couldn't believe he wrote this and was performing it for you. Even as the song ended, the night continued with party music and dancing and a few sips of champagne. It was perfect. After one last slow dance, your wedding was coming to an end, which made you feel upset but happy that you were going to wake up tomorrow in the same honeymoon haze.

And although you both made teasing promises to each other about how you'd enjoy your wedding night, when you got home, all you wanted to do was get out of your dress and into bed. Right before you drifted off into sleep, you lifted your hand up to cup his cheek, gazing at his softened expression fondly. Your engagement ring and wedding ring glinted in the dimly lit room, butterflies dancing in your stomach at the sight. 

Chan covered your hand with both of his, relishing the intimate contact with you both. He lifted it to his mouth and pressed a kiss on your palm before placing it exactly where it was, a sleepy hum reverberating in his throat as you stroked his skin. “I love you, baby.”

“Love you more.”

He let out a playful groan. “I'm too tired to argue with you, so I'll let you win. Just this once.” An arm snaked around your waist, drawing you close enough so that you could rest your head on his chest, and soon enough, you fell into a deep sleep with dreams of him and what the future could hold for you.

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©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

[sundew199]

Be Good for me

a/n: ok so I'm not 100% sure how I feel about this, like I think I did it right for what 'power play' is but this is my first time writing it. Anyway if it's ass, my bad 💀

tags: zoro x f!reader, power play, switch!roronoa zoro (kinda?), zoro is mean, reader is mean back, cum eating, face sitting, choking !everything is consensual!

Kinktober day two: power play

minors DNI!!!

Roronoa Zoro was mean when he fucked. Not an ounce of niceness ran through his blood when he was balls deep in your pussy, adamant about burning off excess adrenaline from a battle or rigorous training session.

He wasn't always like this when you fucked, very toned down in the beginning, unsure of how you'd like to be handled when scratching a certain itch from being out at sea from days on end. The day you told him to be rougher and not hold back like you knew he was, everything unleashed.

Zoro always made sure at the start that you were okay with it and not having a problem with toning things down. You always said you were sure, needing that tight hand around your throat as his hips snapped into yours. The low growl of his voice in your ear when you'd clench around him, following through with all his commands and letting him hold all the power over you.

All of it was exhilarating. Being so powerless underneath him, physically or metaphorically, gave you a certain high no other drink of substance could ever take you. And never once had you questioned what it would be like if you were mean back, challenged his commands with ones of your own, until tonight.

Down on your knees in front of him, shiny tip of his cock pressed to your lips, looking up at a satisfied man who'd just been sucked dry. He had that look of victory and lust in his one silver eye, so pleased with your complacency and how you listened. Your mind swirled with your potential next move, depending on what he did next, ready to see if he'd take a liking to the challenge you had ready to present.

"Come take a seat." He gruffed, sitting on the bed, reclining into the headboard with one hand lazily stroking his still erect cock.

"No."

His hand stopped, squeezing the base out of surprise for the defiance on your end, wondering what had happened for you to not immediately jump onto the bed and sink yourself down on his dick.

"No?" Sounding annoyed and stern, but allowing concern to flash in his eye as he met yours, searching to see if he had maybe gone too far this time.

Rising to stand and climb onto the bed, you removed his hand from around his dick, flinging it away and grasping his face in your hands and digging your fingers into his cheeks.

"I'd rather sit somewhere else." Letting a chuckle slip through your lips, removing your hand and pushing Zoro down by the shoulders, till he was nearly lying flat on the bed. You shuffled forward until your knees were inches from the sides of his head.

"Not an option doll," Beginning to sit back up to man handle you till you submitted like he wanted, but you caught the knowing look and felt a small relief come over you that he understood the little game you started. A little power struggle was the perfect way to change things up in the bedroom, and you were thankful Zoro was open to it.

Before he sat up to grab your hips, you swiftly moved to hold him still with your knees pressed into his forearms. Zoro groaned a little painfully, not bothering to struggle knowing you would just put more weight down.

"I want to cum somewhere other than you cock and your face just looks so rideable baby, indulge me."

The innontation in your tone turned seductive and vixen, like this were a natural state for you, as well as for Zoro who looked all but surprised and turned on.

"Be good for me." Tucking and releasing your bottom lip with your teeth, keeping your knees on his forearms and lowering down closer to his face until his warm breath fanned over your slick folds. He all but willingly craned his neck to give himself a better angle the closer your cunt got to his mouth, suddenly salivating and needing to devour your pussy.

Fully seated on his face, you let out a high pitched breathy moan, appreciating the vibrations from his groan as you met his mouth. Zoro's tongue flattened to part your folds, clenching and unclenching his fists with each slow lap, drinking your arousal like the finest sake in the world. His one silver eye flitted up to look at you between your legs, narrowing with mischief and he lightly swirled the tip of his tongue on your clit. You cursed under your breath, gripping the thick green mop of hair and holding him back, knowing the trick he was trying to pull.

"Making me cum early means you won't cum."

He wiggled his head away just enough to retort back at you. "Yeah we'll fucking see about that woman." Wasting no time and diving back into your cunt, sucking and slurping obnoxiously. Your legs shook beside his head, the pressure you had from your weight on his forearms wavered, but didn't break as you weren't ready to for him to have the advantage over you again.

Pulling back on his hair again after he focused on only sucking on your swollen clit, you kept his head where it was and moved to grind up and down on his tongue that was lolled out of his mouth comically. Zoro let you do as you pleased, chuckling as he kept his mouth open and tongue out, watching you slowly fall apart above him.

Using this to his advantage, Zoro slipped one his arms out from beneath your knee, smacking his palm harshly across your ass and kneading the flesh, but not making any move to flip you onto your back, instead helping you move your hips back and forth.

"Not helping your case here by doing that." Rasping out as you gave him a small break, letting him lick his lips clean like your pussy dripped sake. He hummed deep in his chest, turning it into a laugh as he trailed the hand up from your hip to pinch your nipple.

"Like that fucking phases me, I'll have you writhing and screaming my name here in a second, but I'll be courteous and let you cum before that."

Irritation flashed across your face at the boldness, though deep down you were basking in the push and pull between the two of you, the fight for who would dominate the other in the end. And though you knew there was a slim chance that it would be you, didn't discourage you from continuing.

"Yeah? And what if I want it the other way around?" Moving away from his face and letting a hand creep up to his throat, resting at the base of his neck.

"I think even you would prefer me fucking you dumb on my cock to where the only thing you can say is my name, let my cum leak and drip down from that perfect pussy of yours." Smuggly grinning, making no moves to stop your hand from wrapping all the way around his throat and squeezing.

"Zoro, Zoro, Zoro," Cooing as your brushed your throbbing and slick folds over the head of his cock, feeling the part and his breath hitch underneath your palm. "So bold even when you're the one under me, at my mercy."

Giving him no time to respond and slamming yourself all the way down, trying to keep the contortion of your face at a minimum as his eye rolled back and his jaw slacked, taking in a shaky breath. With one knee still pinning him down at the forearm, managing to partially immobilize him, you moved your hips in a perfect circle on his cock, moaning so prettily into his ear and tracing the outer shell with the tip of your tongue, something he would do to you when he'd first slam his cock into you.

"Your mercy? Give me a break." Biting back a groan as you came half way off, letting just the girthy tip fuck in and out of your while squeezing your walls tightly.

"Mhm, better get used to it, cause I'm enjoying how this is playing out so far." Pecking his cheek and keeping your lips pressed there as you softly bounced up and down half way on his cock. Zoro's other free hand didn't even bother to grip or dig into your flesh, doing that to the comforter he lay on top of while inhaling deep shaky breaths, fighting the restriction of your hand still around his throat.

Every time his hips jerked, you stopped, chuckled a bit evilly and gave him a mocking kiss on his lips or the corner of his mouth. Then you'd wait a minute, holding still before slamming all the way down, raising your hips until only about half of his dick was inside of you to start bouncing again. It was driving him insane, gritting his teeth and having a look akin to murder every time you'd meet his eye. Fuck this was so fun, understanding the kick Zoro got out of it when it was the other way around.

"Okay I get it, ride me properly now." Saying after endless repetition on your end, his tone low and husky, like how he sounds when talking to Sanji after he's pissed him off for good.

Sliding your hand upwards on his throat until you were right under his jawline, you gave him a mockingly pitiful look, moving your hips high enough until just the very tip was inside you. This was probably how he felt when he did something similar to you while under him, and you instantly understood why he enjoyed the dramatic power differences between you and him while fucking.

"I'm in charge, and I'll do as I please." slipping your tongue between parted lips as you laughed, molding them to zoro's even though he kept them tightly sealed. Oh he was irritated, and fuck that turned you on more than him submitting willingly. This was fun, exhilarating even, how had you not thought of doing this before?"

"I'm about to ruin this for the both of us if you don't ride my fucking dick-"

Cutting him off by slapping a hand over his mouth, the other tightened even further around his throat, restricting his breathing and making his eye pop open wide, realizing you had more will to keep control than he was expecting.

"Since I didn't get to cum all over your face like I wanted, you'll just have to make me cum once I'm done fucking myself on you." Giving him a little grace and easing more of his cock back inside you slowly, getting inches from his face and chuckling under your breath. "And if you cum before I'm done, well."

Leaving the sentence unfinished as you sat up and sunk yourself down all the way, rocking your hips forwards and letting it prod and poke at your cervix, pushing itself out to be seen in your lower stomach. Zoro hadn't said anything since you removed your hand from his mouth and throat, literally at a loss for words and trying to combat the rocking of your hips. He groaned softly though, let his free hand not pinned to the bed by your knee stroke up your thigh.

Though he didn't look as irritated as he did a second ago, you still drank in that baffled turned on expression of his as you bent back on your palms placed on his thighs to rise and fall on his cock, giving him a glimpse of the milky sheen coating his shaft. He sucked a sharp breath in every time your hips went up, catching a glimpse of your pussy hugging tightly around the thick cock.

God you could get used to this, having your way with him and also taking your time. He listened well once you asserted yourself over him, so good for you when he wanted to be.

"I wanna hear you Zoro, need to know how good this pussy feels around you." Gasping out, letting your head fall back in bliss. Without saying a word, you moved your knee off of his forearm, letting his hands come to rest on your hips and just leaving them there as you moved up and down.

"Feels so good baby," Whispering back, letting his fingers knead the flesh of your hips in time with your down thrusts, trying not to grip to hard and fuck back up into you and lose his chance at an orgasm.

The ache in your legs grew strong and more noticeable but not wanting to stop in hopes that Zoro would cum inside you like you wanted. So you pushed through the ache in your joints, moved your hips faster and eventually brought yourself back to hovering over him. Poor Zoro looks so gone, breathing heavily with beads of sweat running down from his hairline, brows so pinched together he looked like he were in pain trying to stave off his orgasm.

"Cum inside me." Requesting sternly but with a small conniving smile, pushing your thumb past his lips and pressing down on his tongue.

His eye narrowed, biting down on your thumb but then proceeding to suck, emphasizing the way he moaned knowing it would run through you like electricity, snapping his hips upwards as you were caught off guard. You allowed it, taking note of the frantic unrhythmic thrusts coming from him, knowing he were trying to reach that sweet release.

"I'll fucking get you back for this," Growling in between pants, slapping your ass particularly hard, the sting cascading throughout your flesh. "And when you least expect it too, fuck you even dumber than I normally do."

"Stop fucking talking and cum in me so I can sit on your face and cum in your mouth." Unsure of where the irritation in your tone came from, instinctively grabbing his face in one hand again, digging your nails even harder into his cheeks. Zoro let out something like a growl, slamming you down one last time and shooting ropes deep inside you. He refused to moan aloud, stifling them all with each spurt inside of you, prompting you laugh in a mocking way, pulling off of his dick before he finished cumming and shoving him down onto the mattress.

Without saying a word, you swung your legs on either side of his head and hovered above his face, his hands reaching up to hold your thighs for when you eventually sat directly over his mouth. Something in his eye told you he was excited, antsy to have your pussy leaking his cum land on his mouth.

The groan the man let out below you was almost enough to make you cum right then and there, but doing just enough to hold off. Zoro's tongue flattened to part your messy folds, lapping up the cum dripping into his mouth. He didn't care that it was his own, in fact it was getting him hard all over again. There wasn't even a point for him to try and figure out why this was so erotic for him, it was just so messy and filthy and he didn't want to stop.

"Ride my face, please-"

His request was so muffled behind your cunt, but you heard him and slowly rocked your hips, leaning over to hang onto the headboard, watching his jaw move with how he clenched and devoured you from below. You could see how lost he was, how much he was enjoying it and you were so so close, just needing that final push to send you over the edge.

"Shit - don't stop Zoro, keep going, you're being so fucking good for me-"

Barely able to speak but finding the words to praise him, get him to send you over the edge in a mind blowing orgasm. He growled into your folds, inhaling deeply and adjusting to close his lips around your throbbing clit, moaning deeply and enough for it to vibrate off your sensitive flesh, just waiting to drown in your release.

A hand of yours buried into his hair, pushing his head deeper into your cunt, chewing on your bottom lip as the precipice comes just within reach, whining his name and gripping tightly onto his hair and cumming right over his mouth.

Zoro's grip he had on your hips eased as your hips came to a stop, taking a moment to catch your breath and fall back into the bed once you were moved away from his face. Neither of you said much to the other, coming down from a weird new adrenaline you were experiencing from the change in power dynamics. You felt so accomplished for sticking to it and keeping Zoro in his place until the very end, discovering something new about yourself in the process.

You like the push and pull. Like challenging him and having things go exactly your way. But you also like the way he didn't just take, challenging you back and trying to regain the comfortable dominance he usually held when the two of you fucked.

"God damn woman, can't fuckin' move." Letting his words carry in his breath, looking over at him as he spoke, relaxed and fucked out simultaneously.

"Not complaining are you?" Crawling over to him, laying a bit lopsided, resting a hand on his sweaty chest as well as your chin. His lips curled softly into a smile, huffing out a laugh and giving a tiny shake of his head.

"Nah, just wasn't really expecting that?"

"Neither was I, but something just told me to push my luck and force you into submission."

" 'Forcing me into submission' , give me a break, I let you." Zoro rolled his eyes endearingly, landing a hand on the center of your back, lightly running his nails across your skin.

"I'm too tired to argue with you." Sighing as your cheek pressed right where your hand was on his chest, forcing your body to curl into him, ignoring the screams of your aching muscles.

[unorthodoxposts]

draft: blood in the water

"I know what it means, Dark."

Anti could feel dark, dark eyes on him then, just the barest hints of red peering past the edge of his pupils. He was hungry. Dark was hungry. He needed to feed.

But, still, all Dark seemed able to do was look, stare at him. His skin was pallid, almost as pale as the natural tone of Anti's at this point; gray, even. Obviously, it wasn't right. It just made it less right that Dark's skin was tan, was supposed to be tan.

"Anti," came Dark's voice, low, a different kind of rough. "Are you certain you want to do this?"

Anti took a deep breath in through his nose, breathed out, and he looked at him. Dark was still stood at the opposite end of the room. If Anti didn't know better, or was anyone else, Dark seemed his ever-present calm; composed. But Anti did know better, and he wasn't anyone else. He could see the tension in his shoulders, the rigidity of his spine, like he was forcing himself straighter than he actually felt like holding himself. Honestly, he looked terrible, so, "Yes, I'm fuckin' sure. You need to feed."

Standing, Dark leant against the heater behind him, his feet crossed at the front as he raised his head to look at Anti. "How about this," he began, his head slightly tilted. "I agree to feed from you, and in exchange, you shift for me. Tonight."

Anti held back a growl at that, and he set his jaw. "Fine."

But Dark didn't move.

"Promise me."

Anti shut his eyes, took in another deep breath through his nose, opened them. "I promise."

He blinked, and Dark was directly in front of him, teeth glinting in the low light of the room. Anti held his wrist towards him then, his own impressive set of canine grit as Dark took the offered limb in hand. He made eye contact, opened his mouth. And Anti took that moment to appreciate the intensity of those teeth then, the precise point of them, their crisp edge; about to break skin. His skin.

He steeled himself, and Dark bit.

His teeth sank deep, deep into the pale flesh of his wrist, these small pools of blood beading at the surface as he fed from him. A sharp, metallic scent filled the air, and Anti resisted a wince when its poignant smell reached his nose, the stuff feeling like it was clogging his throat at the taste of it on his tongue. But Anti forced himself to remain still, steady as Dark took his fill.

Whilst Dark stayed busy doing his thing, Anti let his head fall to the other man's shoulder, his nose close to the thin skin of his throat as he inhaled. Anti narrowed his eyes, and he watched close as the color returned to Dark's face, flooding his skin with that familiar, tan hue. It was at that point Anti was content to shut his eyes, his form relaxing into Dark. As with everything Dark did, he was careful, and he pulled back slow; controlled, to an annoying extent. Anti huffed against him.

He felt hands cupping either side of his face then, and Anti looked up. Dark leant forwards some, his dark hair messy but falling in a way that was also pretty against his forehead, and something primal and hot stirred in Anti's gut at that. Dark's mouth was meeting his then, and Anti didn't hesitate to return that contact, his eyes squeezing shut as he put his hands to the other man's torso. His fingers gripped greedily at his waist, and his lips parted fast at the insistent press of Dark's tongue at his bottom lip. And he could taste himself. The flavor of something like metal, and coppery; of blood, coating the insides of his mouth.

Anti exhaled harshly through his nose, and he pulled his mouth from Dark's. Dark was already doing the same, a tinge of red still staining his teeth. "Teeth," Anti murmured, his eyes somewhere distant, mind feeling like a thick fog.

"Ah," answered Dark, his hands moving to pull a handkerchief from his breast pocket. "Of course."

It's not that Anti had a problem with blood, really, but something about the taste of it in his mouth bothered him, and it wasn't its flavor. It took him back to the night of his first change, how hard he had fought against it, because he hadn't wanted to change. It reminded him how his teeth had elongated, formed into a set of thick, sharp canines, how those canines had dug into his bottom lip and caused a thin red fluid to glaze his tongue as he pushed back against the breaking and rearranging of bone. How he had clawed at his own throat, had ended up scarring it, to stay human.

[fordpinesthemanyouare]

Ford x Fem!Reader

Math Assistant Pt.3

Summary: Ford needs himself an assistant, Stanley makes an online post for him and BOOM there you are. Warnings: Age gap... but that's what you're here for me thinks A/N: Wanted to get this up before I leave for vacation, still serving nothing sandwiches but HEY were getting somewhere huh? I need that six fingered freak dude, like... it's so bad that I had to bring it up in therapy. Tags <3: @potato-painter

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Her car followed behind the red El Diablo that had picked Stanford up from the diner as she was returning to her car. She saw another older man in the driver seat who she assumed must have been the twin brother Stanford mentioned. She didn't get a good look at the driver before she got inside her own car, the late spring sun making its descent over the looming trees turning the sky a deep orange. Had she and Stanford really been talking for that long? The shining red car turned out of the diner parking lot, and y/n followed suit, rolling down her windows and turning up the volume to the music she had been listening to on the long drive to this desolate town. Before leaving the diner together, Stanford had told her to just follow in his car and he would lead them to where she would be spending the next few months. 

Bumping her head along to the music as she drove down the two lane road, her mind began to wonder what her time here in Gravity Falls would look like. She had always been in the lab or classroom working on ever growing math equations for most of her adult life, but she always felt a deep connection to nature, specifically Oregon’s natural woods. Since moving here to complete her schooling she loved the natural aura these woods produced, and now here she was, completely surrounded with the strong trees, she couldn't have felt more at peace. The completion of her master’s was long and grueling work that kept her away from exploring the woods, and being a thirty year old completing another degree, there was not much time for camping. Y/n had a tendency to become completely involved with her work very quickly, locking herself in the apartment she was renting near campus for days without anybody seeing her (not unlike someone else we know).  

The El Diablo turned onto a dirt road into the woods, the lights from the main road fell behind them as they continued their way into the ever growing dark forest. The two pairs of headlights were the only lumination on the long road, and the lights highlighted the seemingly eerie pointed signs nailed to the trees along the road with large question marks hand painted over them. She couldn't help but take in the amount of trees that were covered in these signs, she suddenly felt very nervous about the situation the car was lurching towards. She still had no idea what to expect, even with the long conversation Stanford and her had just been having, and arriving while it was quickly turning dark might not have been the best idea for her nerves. She breathed in through her nose, and out of her mouth to attempt to drown the anxiety brewing in the pit of her stomach as they pulled up to a lone… shack? Cabin? Store? The lights around the establishment lit the area up better for her to read the sign on the side of the building: “Mystery (S) hack”. The ‘S’ of the sign had fallen on the side of the roof; she noticed it now read ‘Mystery Hack’ and smiled a little, as the two cars pulled closer to the side of the house to park. They certainly weren't wrong about having a parking lot in front of their… home? She was certainly confused and was in thought about what she was getting herself into as she turned the car off, rolled up the windows, and began to grab any loose items to put in her purse. 

A loud abrupt knock on the window caused her to gasp and jump in the driver's seat, turning to see what monster had scared her while she was so deep in thought. Her eyes met with Stanford’s… no someone who looked similar but different in the setting sun’s light. His frame was slightly bigger at the almost the same height Stanford is, but he was wearing a shirt that had a few buttons undone from the top revealing his broad and hairy chest; he had similar glasses to Ford as well. He was flashing her a toothy grin before speaking “Well are y’gonna come out and take a tour or what?” She just stared at him, her face flushed from the scare and her mouth opening and closing not unlike a fish from water. The man laughed at her, loud and heartily, before she could hear Stanford say slightly muffled from the windows “Stanley get away from her car please.” The man took a few paces back from the window, while holding his hands up in defense, chuckling still with a smile “I wasn’t even doing anything!” 

Her heart was still racing; she grabbed her purse and stepped out of the car into the dirt parking lot, feeling towered over by Stanford's twins’ stance. She smiled past her nerves and offered her hand, “Hi there, Im Y/n, you must be Stanford’s twin he mentioned”

He gave her a smirk and an eyebrow quirk at that before grabbing her hand in his large calloused one, shaking it he introduced himself as Stanley. His broad hand had completely engulfed hers as he spoke, “He was talking about me huh? Were you excited to meet me or something, doll?” Before she could stutter out a response, feeling her face heat up at the pet name he casually called her, Stanley looked at his brother who was walking towards them “Stanford? You really were trying to seem as serious as you can point-dexter, you should probably try to loosen up a bit with your new assistant.” 

Ford rolled his eyes at his brother as he stood to the side of them, she turned to see him stand beside them with a casual smirk on his face at his brother’s antics. “A cute look on him”, the thought flashed in her mind and she dismissed it as quickly as it came. This was her new boss, that she was going to be living with and working with! She reprimanded herself silently for thinking such thoughts all while still looking at him, still she couldn't stop even when Stanford began speaking, her eyes darting to his lips as they moved.

“I was attempting to maintain professionalism with my new assistant, some of us have to maintain a sense of decorum.” Ford looked at Y/n, he didn’t want her to feel like she was not welcomed from their brotherly bantering, but she was already staring up at him from her stance. “You can also call me Ford if you’d like, I do know we will be spending a lot of time together over the next few months.” She nodded at that and looked between the two brothers. She couldn't help but think they were handsome when the two of them were towering over her like this,  laughing and bantering with each other. Stanley snorted in response to Ford, before she could speak. 

“Ha! Decorum, that's just your fancy word for being stuck up, if you loosen up a bit Y/n might actually take a liking to you.” Stanley jabbed Ford with his elbow in his ribs as he said it and turned to her while looking her up and down now, and she felt like she was put in the hot seat from his gaze raking up and down her body as she leaned against the door to her car. Her face was still slightly red from the last comment he had made, but she didn't falter as she regained some composure. She said nonchalantly to Ford’s twin, “I would love to take that tour if you're still offering, I just have to grab some of my things.”She smirked back at Stanley’s gaze on hers as she turned to walk towards the trunk of her car, popping it open with her keys. She pulled out two large suitcases that looked like they were about ready to burst open, the two men looked towards her things and then waved her towards the shack not mentioning the state her luggage was in.

The trio walked up the steps of the porch as Y/n and Stanley locked their cars almost in unison, they looked at each other and laughed together at the uniform way the cars beeped together. Ford turned over his shoulder and saw Y/n’s beautiful laugh ring out as she looked at Stanley, he couldn't help but feel something pang deep in his chest but he continued onward toward the door ignoring the feeling before she could notice his glance back. They entered the house (shack? cabin? showroom??) and she marveled at all of the large displays that stared right back at her. She was even more confused as they shut the door behind her and flicked the lights on, detailing the displays that were previously shrouded with darkness. As she set her things down by the front door, the large sasquatch model parked in the corner immediately caught her eye and noticed the sign that pointed conveniently between the model sasquatch’s legs and read “Sas-crotch”. She huffed a laugh before looking at Ford, “Does this happen to be the lucrative project we're working on?” gesturing towards the sas-crotch with a grin. 

Ford’s cheeks started to burn a bit at his new assistant’s teasing question, feeling more embarrassed at how his home had now been turned into a tourist trap. He rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly before starting, “Ah yes, that is part of Stanley’s… exhibits he curates for tourists to come visit during the day. This room and two others are the only rooms where people could be walking through, and it’s separated from the rest of the house. Let me show you to your room.” He walked through the back door of the showroom as she lugged her two heavy suitcases through the room and down the hallway they entered. Stanley stayed behind, muttering something under his breath about not including him on the tour and making fun of his work. Even though she admired all of the strange things in the front room as they walked through, she marveled at the assortment of displays. They continued farther into the house, it became more evident that she was walking into a home as the freaky displays were left in the front showroom. Down the hall now, pictures hung on the wall of family members and the two brother’s, she quickly passed them following Ford, but made a note to look further into them later following Ford as he continued down the hall. 

He had led her into the kitchen, and Ford had made a point in his mind beforehand to make sure to show her where the coffee machine was. He couldn't help but note that she drank just about as much coffee as him (if not more), and he also made an additional mental note to buy extra coffee grounds the next time they went to the store. “Here is where the fuel is,” Ford said while tapping the top of the coffee maker with his palm. She giggled a little, nodding in agreement “Glad you showed me the night before we begin our work, I might have needed to run to that diner for coffee.” He smiled at her and continued on their small tour of the house, she was still awkwardly rolling the luggage through all parts of the house. 

The pair continued down another hall and up a small flight of stairs until they were stopped in front of a door, he pushed it open and what revealed was a storage closet with a deflated air mattress in one corner. The room couldn’t have been more than eight feet across, and in the opposite corner of the small bed was a desk and chair. The chair contained some folded sheets, blankets, and towels, but otherwise the room looked like nobody had been in it for a long time. There was one window above the bed that was paneled with various geometric shapes, the light in the room showed some light cobwebs in the corners. As Y/n entered the room with her luggage, Ford moved in the hall flicking on more lights in the house letting her get settled in the small room. 

“The bathroom is just across the hall for when you need it, whenever you're settled in tomorrow I can show you more of the house and where we will be working.” Ford approached, leaning on the open door frame of the storage closet/bedroom looking at the way she was taking in the room, and beginning to open up the too-filled luggage. As she knelt in front of the two suitcases on the floor unzipping them she said “I appreciate that, I always forget how tired driving makes me and this town really is in the middle of nowhere.” Y/n turned her head and looked up at Ford with a smile, taking in the sight before her. His hair seemed run through with his hands and his turtle neck sleeves were bunched up around his elbows showing off his broad forearms. She was trying her best not to ogle him, but he wasn’t responding to her statement and just looking right back at her. Their gazes met each other for a few seconds, both just staring at each other through the silence, before Ford realized it was his turn to speak. He cleared his throat as his cheeks dusted pink and brought his hand behind his neck to rub it again, “Y-yes, I’m sure you're tired after a long day today, we'll meet together tomorrow to get started on everything” He turned to walk down the stairs before Y/n gave a half shouted “Wait!”. He stopped and walked the two paces back to the door, where Y/n was standing now in the room. 

“T-thank you Ford, I appreciate you getting me set up here and showing me around, especially that coffee machine.” She suddenly felt a little awkward stopping him just so she could stutter out a thanks, her face grew warm and the pit of her stomach seemed to fill her nerves with anxiety. Ford looked at Y/n again, drinking in her beauty as she was standing there thanking him. He could barely register her words before he smiled again at her, taking one last discreet view of her full body since she was now standing, he nodded. “Of course, I’m hoping we'll be able to make further progress than I have made, now with your help.” At that, he walked from the doorway feeling his sweaty hands finally begin to make their way to just being clammy, once he was half way down the stairs away from her. Once she was left in the room alone with Ford’s footsteps thudding down the stairs towards the kitchen, she let out a breath of air she didn’t realize she had been holding. Turning back to continue unpacking a little bit, grabbing some items for a shower she desperately needed to clear her impure thoughts of the man that just stood in her doorway. 

Downstairs, Ford was deep in thought on why his body was reacting this way as he headed back to the kitchen, leaving Y/n to finish getting settled for the night. He understood that yes, his assistant just so happened to be absolutely stunning, but what he couldn’t understand is that although the interview had opened her up a bit more to him, how could he still be nervous at this point? The two of them had shared several hours together at the diner talking about work and studies, they both had many similar interests and passions for learning and he felt that she was almost too perfect for this situation. As his mind fell deeper and deeper into overthinking the whole situation at hand, Stanley walked into the kitchen to see Ford braced over the counter, his six fingered hands gripping onto the lip of the counter as if it was the only thing tethering him to reality. Stanley cleared his throat and Ford jumped slightly before turning around to face his brother, his mind previously occupied with thoughts of his new assistant. Ford’s face was a bit flushed as he looked at Stan full on now either from his thoughts previously or because Stan had now scared two different scientists within the same day. 

Stanley immediately noticed the flush spread on Ford’s nose and cheeks, if he had no context of what had been happening he would have figured he just scared his twin. Alas, Stanley knew better than to assume he was flustered because he walked into the kitchen and scared him a bit, he knew that something had just happened while the two were touring the house. The shower upstairs distantly turned on, letting both men in the kitchen know you were now completely out of earshot, a shit eating grin pulled on Stan’s lips. Ford preemptively shook his head in disagreement before Stan had even begun speaking, which caused Stan to laugh. 

“I knew I shoulda’ kept her resume from you” He laughed again looking at Ford’s now raised eyebrows at his claim, before continuing, “What? I figured you would be able to maintain, hm, what word did you use earlier? ‘Decorum’ what a load of shit, have you seen her? What happened up there to make you turn this red?”. It had been a long time since Stanley had seen his brother flustered at all, let alone because of an attractive person. That last thought to himself left him feeling a twinge of sadness in his chest. His brother had been gone for so long and had barely had any time to experience a meaningful romantic relationship, at least that he was aware of. Not that Stan wasn't checking out the new assistant earlier by the cars, and he may have been a little charmed at their unison car locking. However Stan wasn't stupid, he had certainly noticed the glances Y/n stole from his twin in the short time the three of them were together. She would look at his jaw or his hands for just a second too long, a second too long for Stan to notice the little hints before Y/n and Ford left to tour the rest of the house without him. 

“Absolutely nothing happened Stanley, I showed Y/n to her room and that was it. She mentioned that she was tired, so I politely took my leave. I am not sure what you are insinuating here Stanley, but whatever it is, it isn’t happening.” Ford’s poker face regarding his heart, definitely needed work, his blush deepened in his cheeks and his eyes couldn’t meet his twins’. Ford seemed to look at anything in the kitchen other than his brother’s incredulous stare, he began organizing the pile of papers on the kitchen table as he almost waited for Stan’s rebuttal. 

Stanley almost laughed at Ford’s feeble attempts at playing stupid, but he figured he wouldn’t pry on Ford especially with how he looked when he walked into the kitchen, as if he was in the middle of solving the world’s hardest equation. “If you wanna leave it at that, then I won’t make you talk” Stanley turned to leave Ford once again, figuring it was time to hit the hay anyways. He mumbled a goodnight to Ford before heading towards his own room, Ford could barely share the same pleasantries before registering Stanley had in fact not broached further on the subject of his new assistant. Ford was quickly left alone with his thoughts again in the empty kitchen, hearing the water trickle in the distant shower upstairs reminding him once again of the time that was yet to be spent together in the lab. 

He stood in the kitchen for a moment thinking over how Stanley had entirely dropped the teasing conversation, and frankly, it seemed like Stanley knew what he was doing by deliberately not asking. Ford groaned at the thought, bringing his hand up to his face to rub the bridge of his nose under his glasses in slight annoyance. He realized it wasn't far out from when everyone typically goes to bed, so he began to head for the basement when he stopped in his tracks when the distant running water stopped in the shower upstairs. Ford’s mind raced for a moment, running through the different courses of action. Should he head upstairs to make sure that you are all settled for the night, or should he continue to the basement for the night letting her get settled in by herself? He was almost paralyzed in thought as his heart continued to beat faster than before in his chest. 

Ford made his decision as he heard the bathroom door distantly open, as he pulled the vending machine door into its hinges and shut it closed behind him. 

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[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[omarwolaeth]

So there's a fic, right,

Fan art for Dramaturgy: Standard by @team-frightfur of Chapter 33

[devilsskettle]

i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/

[otogariado]

i get why people would opt to say walter was a terrible person since the beginning, but i think that's like, the most boring takeaway you can get about his character. he was already insecure and prideful from the start, and it's what would hurt him and keep hurting him. but like, being insecure and prideful are regular traits any regular person can have. the actions that he makes because of these traits, which in turn keep fueling his ego more and more, are what makes him an interesting character. and he was already pretty capable of hurting other people, but he wasn't doing it out of malice, but more because of careless selfishness at first. what makes walter terrifying is that the more he does it, the more he becomes aware of what he's doing, and the more he keeps going and keeps being more and more meticulous and deliberate about what he does that hurts people and even to the point when it was specifically to hurt people.

i think the traits were there in walter from the beginning—the pilot did a pretty good job of establishing how powerless he's felt all his life and just how susceptible he is to letting this newfound perceived power get to his head so easily. he even says this explicitly in 5x06 "Buyout" when he tells jesse "i'm not in the money business, i'm in the empire business". but saying he was this monster from the start kind of implies he didn't undergo through a character arc throughout the show when it's quite literally what he did. he got worse. so much worse. through mostly the fault of his own fragility.

[immobiliter]

i would love to know how much furina actually knows/finds out about focalors' grand plan post-archon quest. i would love to know what hers and neuvillette's first conversation is when she decides to leave the palais mermonia, not knowing that he had this whole conversation with focalors about her and then came into his true power. i would love to know if furina is actually aware that her hydro vision came from neuvillette himself

[kruxton]

having a Night. havent been alone w my thoughts in a while and im not liking it

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 1 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out 3,000 words wasn't enough.

I cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I needed to get some feelings out. Also it's in two parts because apparently Tumblr has a maximum character count and I hit it.

Overture

• Firstly, female conductor, we love to see it

• I love overtures and entr'actes and this show's is so good

• Shoutout to the orchestra

• I have never experienced a bad Broadway orchestra but still doesn't mean they do not deserve serious praise

• Does just the instrumental of Camelot make me very emotional and think about fundamental human goodness?

• Yes, this show did its job

• The end of the If Ever I Should Leave You part is just permanantly in my brain as the part during bows where they point to the orchestra

• Whatever the music that plays as everyone starts walking onstage is epic

• The vibe is set and I'm ready

Act 1 Scene 1: A hilltop near the castle at Camelot

• I've said it once and I'll say it one thousand times, I am obsessed with the way they've used the space in this show

• I love that they can walk up the back of the stage, I love that they have the stairs in front, I love that they've got so many exit and entrance points

• Sorry to the actors who probably had to do a lot of running around but it was fun for me

• As much as I like spectacle, I don't inherently prefer it over this kind of more minimalist thing

• But I do feel like they did a good job at conveying scale and drama even though the set is extremely minimal

• "I have the exact same amount of information that you do" just immediately starts the show off on the right foot

• This is a new take and I was here for it instantly

• And such a funny way to deliver a ton of exposition, this will be the first of what will become the prevailing theme of my rambling which is I adore Sorkin's writing beyond measure

• Merlyn's delivery drenched in sarcasm for every line is perfect and we clearly see where Arthur gets it from

• Specifically "do you know what calamity means?"

• But also "things in England are changing too fast"/"words that have never before been spoken"

• Establishing Sagramore in a funny way that becomes so serious by the end

• We jump right into the Sorkin dialouge rhythm and it feels so right

• There's the perfect amount of everyone overlapping each other and finishing the other characters' thoughts

• And also the jaunty music when most of the guards leave, like I don't exactly know why it sounds like that since it doesn't fit but I love it anyway

• I know it's part of at least the movie's score but like to me it's still strange, I've been calling it clown music in my head

• The difficulty finding the king exchange and also the pheasant hunting exchange are so funny and set the tone so well

• Can you see I'm attempting not the write out every line of dialouge?

• But also I love that we get this little build to Arthur to wonder what the hell is going on with this guy

• Because if you're me, you've come into this show with basically the association with JFK and that's it

• So I had no clue and was curious

• The knights have like mostly terrible points but Sagrimore's delivery of "snear all you like but five minutes ago we were at war with that girl's county and tomorrow I'll be swearing an oath to protect her with my life"

• He's not wrong

• The knights are so good, the actors are perfect

• Every bit of casting is inspired and those three are no exception

• "Arthur get the hell out of the tree"

• Again with no context, the tree really got me

• "Hiding, I'm obviously hiding" - I am instantly in, the delivery on this line is so funny

• Okay fine I was in from the way he said hello, also a hilarious delivery

• My roommate brought up immediately how effective it is not to have him do a British accent and how it again just makes Arthur relatable - genius

• Whatever voice he's doing is a perfect choice

• Also young Arthur is so much the right choice it's staggering to me that they ever did it any other way

• They thread the needle so perfectly of Arthur being young but not in a way where he's like an incompetent child

• Which I feel like is actually how some of the other versions with older actors still managed to come off

• But this Arthur is just young and trying

• "My mouth disconnects from my brain"/"I've witnessed that"

• As like a character note, I love that exchange but I also was worried this was gonna be what it usually is, which is a male character who cannot treat a woman like a human person

• But no, Arthur has absolutely no problem with that, his mouth only disconnects from his brain when he's trying to confess feelings and that is 1000% more endearing

• "Years of tutoring in philosophy and law, why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"/"You're not marrying for love and there's nothing about it that can be taught."

• To which my roommate that I dragged to see this twice and who has just been forced to talk about this show with me, maintains that perhaps you could maybe convey that relationships are about communication

• That lesson might've helped just a bit

• "You're not marrying for love" like Merlyn is trying to warn Arthur and he sure did not listen

• "They should be reading" Arthur babe they literally can't, it's the Middle Ages

• Also the establishment of no magic is so deftly handled

• Arthur complaining that people think that dragons are real and you get exactly what this world is

• I love that I Wonder What the King is Doing tonight becomes his noble king music

• Also I just absolutety love any time anything has a recurring musical theme it just lights up some part of my brain every time

• The yelling of "he's scared" and all of the subsequent lyrics in that spot is again hilarious and just very good characterization

• Also the delivery of the slaying a dragon part whatever that singing accent is I love it

• Actually the way he sings all the parts where he's imagining what other people are saying

• The other characters have a lot of songs that are gorgeous and require some incredible vocals and songs with fun lyrics and fun performances but not at lot of them get to infuse this much personality and character into the songs through just the delivery

• Don't know if that's from the original or not but it's one of my favorite characters introductions I've seen in a bit

• From what I've seen this is definitely an escalation of previous versions and I adore it

• He's so annoyed, he hates this shit so much and he's so funny

• I mean also lots of credit to the lyrics because they are obviously very funny

• I love this song a lot

• Arthur's "shhhhit" when he realizes that he's managed to run into his future wife

• The multi-layered complication line, so quintessential Arthur

• The contrast between the gorgeous Julie Andrews channeling singing and Genny's brashness in her movement and dialouge

• Like obviously that's already in the lyrics but the book and direction just stretches it

• Everyone knew Phillipa Soo was going to be perfect and she is

• A lot of my strongest impressions are about Arthur

• Because I had no idea who the actor was and because in the limited amount of adaptations I'm familiar with of this whole story, Arthur is the bad guy or a good but extremely boring guy

• But I knew going in that I was gonna love Guenevere and Phillipa Soo even if I've never seen her on stage before

• So it was unsurprising

• Like my expectations were sky-high and she's so talented in every way and the writing for Genny is so good that she exceeded them anyway

• And she's so damn funny

• Obviously the whole rescued in the wood bit is already just a good joke and I'm honestly impressed with how funny the original songs are

• I am a sucker for the thing in stories where we know what's going to happen because they've been told so many times

• When they have a character say something the audience knows is foreshadowing

• "Cause a little war" is what I'm thinking of in this moment but there are tons and every time it's a hit with me

• The delivery of the clause one bit is perfect and her backing Arthur into falling on the bench and then just turning around and back to angelic singing

• The turnaround from the aggressiveness to the extremely soft and feminine singing is brilliant

• "The more knights slaughter each other, the fewer there are to slaughter the rest of us"

• The exchange about the dowry still being in the carriage

• Their deliveries are so funny

• They immediately bounce off of each other perfectly

• And Genny not even escaping with the dowry she's supposed to be using to buy her freedom, amazing

• "What is power uuuused for? That is a very interesting question."

• Genny just immediately knocking Arthur's socks off

• Trying to write out some of the word deliveries he does is so hard but there are a few that absolutely kill me

• They've known each other for five minutes and they're already having a debate

• "I've known kings, I'm daughter of a king so marrying a king doesn't have the same allure for me that it apparently has for you"

• She just speeds through those words at the end and it's great

• "They run to here" is another bit of hilarious delivery but I also love the contrast it sets up between Arthur trying to be kingly in a way that doesn't fit versus later when he does it his own way

• I could listen to them go back and forth saying why for ten minutes

• Genny's incredulousness when he says the weather

• I can't remember but I think she's walking away and then just turns to stare at him in absolute confusion

• Like he's so ridiculous that she can't help but engage

• I did a quick bit of intermission math and we know this takes place seven months before the Lusty Month of May which is obviously happening in May

• So Arthur is literally singing to Genny about how there's no winter until December while at best - assuming the one month later and six months later are rounded up - it is snowing at the absolute beginning of November

• More likely October

• No wonder Genny thinks he's full of shit

• His improv did not pan out

• This is a joke for me, thank you Aaron Sorkin

• Do love that canonically, Arthur is in fact singing the song Camelot - that he just made up in a panic - what a dork

• Genny's little interjections of skepticism are all so funny

• Also just instantly establishing her as someone you love

• She's perfect

• But my favorite is "my escape is time sensitive, do you understand that?"/Arthur still singing/"no he does not"

• These actors are both hilarious, the amount of stuff required of musical theater actors continues to blow my mind

• Like not only to do the whole singing, dancing, and acting thing but then you have to convey it to a whole theater but also not overact to the people up close and be able to do comedy and drama how

• I was in practically the back row up top and not a good view but extremely close (like seeing the actors spit close) on the side for the under 35 tickets and then also in very good seats and the performances by literally everyone never felt too much or not enough

• "Are there any other people in these woods you could recommend?"

• Also this moment which is the cutest thing you've ever heard

• Do I remember exactly what happened? No. But do I know it was adorable? Yes.

• "And we have poets in France"/"Oh yes of course... But do you?"/Genny angrily naming French poets/"Understood" and he's already singing again

• The entire performance of this song and especially getting her to sing along, so charming in the most annoying way

• But also she's sort of into it which is cute

• I do see on YouTube that there was a bit more to this French poets discussion which was probably right to cut but I am delighted to find literally anything new

• Sidebar

• I have been known to have issues with staying present when I watch things and not letting my mind start wandering. And one of the reasons I knew Camelot was good the first time was that I was totally engaged the whole show. But the last time, I did have the one moment where a thought popped into my brain during this song that completely threw me out of it

• And that thought was "this Barbie has taken a carriage ride to hell" after Genny says that line and like why brain?

• (For the record Genny and Arthur are both Barbies. They are everything. Lance is just Ken. Perfecting his body and soul is his beach. He is Kenough. Arthur and Genny have a terrible day every day. Lance only has a terrible day if Arthur and/or Genny look at him.)

• (I believe I have come up with a combination of words that have never been spoken before and perhaps a genuinely new opinion on a thousand year old legend)

• (In a bad way)

• Anyway

• The pure chaotic comedy of the knights finding Arthur and Genny freaking out is not something I can articulate but I adored so much

• Phillipa Soo is stealing the whole show in this one

• Does Genny come out of her hiding spot with her mouth wide open before she gets on the ground or am I misremembering?

• "We call that a sin of omission your majesty"

• With no remose "oh we call it that too"

• "Were you never going to tell me?"/"No I was going to get to it"/"When?"/"After I told you about the weather"

• Not a single bit of remose again

• I don't have anything to say, I just think the exchange is very funny

• I love not making Arthur any kind of royalty, he is truly just some guy

• Like I'm reading The Once and Future King and Arthur's lineage is so weirdly complicated and I just don't care, I like him as some guy

• "He discovered he didn't have his sword because I left it at... a house, that doesn't matter, that's my fault"

• Now that's a line that is funny on time one and fills you with dread afterwards

• The most exasperated "I was just going to borrow it for the day"

• Something about the delivery of "when I opened my eyes the square was filled with people shouting god save the king"

• Like Arthur never actually says out loud that he didn't want to be king but Genny gets it right away

• "I see you now, you're just a boy wearing a crown you never wanted sitting atop a throne two sizes too big"

• Just an absolute cutting response but Arthur doesn't take it that way at all, he's so earnest

• She reads him to filth but it doesn't even rattle him, he just takes it because it's true

• Gorgeous writing in what she says and his response

• "But provenance has put us both here, both of us highness and want it or not we are commanded to wear that crown and to grow into that throne"

• Chills, the delivery is outstanding

• We finally get King Arthur

• And Genny being convinced, all it took was one genuine moment and she's ready to engage

• Then Arthur again just taking so passionately about what he wants Camelot to be

• No wink, no sarcasm, no shame

• This show is unabashedly sincere and optimistic and I love it

• Genny falls in love with Arthur, I fall in love with Arthur, Genny falls in love with Camelot the idea, I fall in love with Camelot the show

• Everyone including the audience and Arthur were already in love with Genny for Phillipa Soo reasons so there's no moment for that one

• I feel like the trope-y thing would be to have Genny be a cynic here but no, she's just as much of an idealist as him

• She put up a little front of cynicism at the beginning but as soon as she gets the option of hope, she's choosing it instantly

• "Or you can stay. And together we may discover if power might be harnessed as a force of good"

• Like he's instantly treating her as a partner in this endeavor

• And I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight playing under it so beautifully and then the seamless musical transition back to Camelot is so perfect

• I am music stupid so I wish I had something to say about it but your songs have got to be tight to flow that way

• "I don't know if I'm worthy" also just a heartbreaker

• We don't really get to hear anything about Genny's life in France but she's clearly very opinionated and competent and I wonder if besides the whole wanting romance and adventure thing

• She also had an idea of what the life of a queen is like

• After all she's the daughter of one

• And she didn't imagine having this kind of role in actual ruling and doesn't know whether she can live up to this ideal that Arthur has set

• Like maybe she thought the only way she'd get to impact the world was knights killing each other over her or being the cause of a war, at least that's something

• But now she has a chance at more and she's grabbing it

• Genny singing the reprise is so beautiful thematically - it makes me a little teary just watching her instantly be like I see your dream and understand it and I want to be part of it but via some of the best singing maybe ever

• Such an amazing recontextualization from the original

• I've seen little clips of this reprise from 1961 and this one just feels warmer and more meaningful because it's about the ideals and not them confessing love at first sight

• And somehow more romantic

• They're instantly established as a team who share intellectual and philosophical similarities

• To so quickly convey that and make it believable

• It not only cements their relationship but makes them characters you root for

• And then the sounds of people coming in as soon as or maybe even before they get to finish singing together, like it's their world and they're falling for each other but there's no time, they're king and queen now and that will always supercede their relationship

• Also something about the moment when Arthur introduces her to the court just also really gets me

• "She's nice... some of the time"

• It's cute how smitten he is with her, all of her, immediately

• "Something about her makes me want to be a better king" (so Arthur is actually capable of expressing a romantic thought, don't get used it it)/"She's very attractive"/"Oh she is but it's not that"/"Arthur"/"Well it's not just that"

• I love the way they flip the speech Arthur gives Genny from the original about not feeling like a king until now meeting her

• But now that they've actually gotten to know each other a bit and it's after she's agreed to stay it actually makes sense here

• I do also love that even though he can't manage it to Genny's face, he does feel completely comfortable expressing his feelings about her to Merlyn

• The "oh she is" is so cute, he's so excited

• The music under his conversation with Merlyn before he starts just monologuing, very ominous

• I'm obsessed with it

• "We finally have peace" is another line delivery that I just need to sit and think about

• The joy of it, the relief

• Again the idea that Arthur has been a king at war this whole time

• Merlyn mentions, as part of a joke but still, almost as soon as we meet Arthur that he's fought armies

• He's not optimistic about the world because he hasn't seen conflict

• He's more determined because he sees what it does

• Channeling best man in all fiction Waymond Wang this is how I fight energy and that's very my shit

• Very much my shit might be a slight understatement

• It might not be surprising to learn that Arthur is my favorite thing about this show, they revamped this character so well

• So much of my life was spent in the media age of male anti-heroes and I love that we've returned to a point of male heroes

• Arthur idealistically talking about how they can finally start making Camelot for everyone and Merlyn walking off stage while the ensemble sings I think the part from the cut song and I assume some new stuff that's very Medieval church music

• So so good

• "What do I do next?" so eager and then just the emotional drop-off to his scared little boy when it becomes clear what's happening "Merlyn?"

• Stunning performance

• I think Arthur falls to his knees at some point but I'm already doubting

• The "what the hell do I do now?"

• Perfect scene ender

Act 1, Scene 2: The King's study - one month later

• The transition music between scenes is always good

• It's gonna be a struggle not to just quote this whole scene

• "Arthur, please call me Arthur" is so desperate like he has no one now, no actual human connections to him as a person instead of a king now that Merlyn is gone

• And then asking what she was called back home, he wants connection so badly

• And probably he still feels guilty for taking her from her home to be his wife

• "I was a royal princess, I didn't have friends"

• Well there is a reason they're both terrible at relationships

• I also love the way Phillipa Soo says Arthur in such a stilted way at the beginning of this scene and it becoming more natural every time she does it

• Genny telling him he's not attending to his duties with enthusiasm like she is not the least bit afraid to challenge the king a month in

• Love to see it

• Arthur's "I beg your pardon" when she asks about cortesans and the look he gives her

• "My father kept his women, his extra women, in their own wing of the palace. Where are yours? Might they cheer you up?"

• Genny the proactive problem solver

• Also something about the way she says extra women makes me laugh

• "I don't have extra women, I'm a married man. You were at my wedding" perhaps one of my favorite deliveries and lines in the whole show

• Genny's point of view in this scene is very interesting

• Like she does bring up that it's his legal right instead of dropping the whole thing and that's a choice

• Does she think he's lying about not having cortesans and reminding him that she is legally obligated to be cool with it so to be honest?

• Or is she just baffled by Arthur and his choices because this is a normal thing for a king to her?

• Or maybe since she already has feelings, she's trying to balance her own expectations to not get hurt?

• Possibilities

• "I'm aware of my legal right in that regard and I assure you I have no intention - oh my god - no intention of exercising it"

• Specifically the delivery of oh my god but the whole thing, he is so offended

• "And making the world into Camelot, are you abstaining from that too or will men at honor continue to plunder villages and take, rape, and kill whatever they please?"

• Genny

• Genny you are a hero

• She's so smart and fierce and unafraid to stand up to Arthur

• "I didn't make the world"/"You make a part of it"

• Arthur being so defensive and Genny calmly holding her ground

• She's taken to her new role so well

• And then Arthur admitting he doesn't know how to proceed without Merlyn, I love the way he builds trust in her in this scene

• "What would he say?"/"He'd say my god you're the slowest student anyone's ever tried to teach"/"Well I can convincingly say that"/"It's good that you mock me, kings should be mocked from time to time, it brings people pleasure. But for the record it's no fun for the king"

• Genny sounding so pleased with herself, Arthur getting out another sarcastic response

• Also what a lie, it is fun for him

• Mocking each other and public policy are their love languages

• "He once explained why but I got distracted because a white tailed eagle flew right by" with the most excitement and boyishness

• And then starting to go off on a tangent about eagles

• Never change Arthur

• I just think it's sweet the way she redirects him because she's fully committed herself to the idea of Camelot and her role in it

• "Pace freely at your own pace"

• Another brilliant line and delivery

• Channeling some Mary Poppins here

• Genny getting Arthur to think is so good

• "You had to pace and comcentrate to arrive at that?"/"It's hard to imagine why your country was willing to part with you"

• The proposition/resolved structure of this scene is very good

• And also that he starts with this pessimistic tantrum about human nature and Genny guides him back on track

• It's a great relationship moment but it also lets Arthur have some struggle and lets Genny be for Arthur what he was for her in the first scene

• Arthur collapsing on the floor and muttering "extra women" like wow he cannot handle being thought of as not a good person

• "That's it?"/"Wait"/"I wasn't going anywhere"

• Her being on the floor with him, gently pushing him

• He can't even maintain cynicism for more than a few minutes

• Them building the idea of the round table together, this is peak romance

• I can't just quote this scene in its entirety but every moment of it is a delight of them passing ideas back and forth

• "Isn't it also about the law?"/"It is"

• A standout delivery

• I love when they're working out the wordings like they make each other better

• "The law will be the stone upon which this rock - the rock upon - wait the church?"/"Have mercy"/"The law will be the rock upon which this church is built"/"Nothing can be more important"/"Nothing can be as important"

• This is what I love about Sorkin's writing

• The way that he has characters discuss ideas

• Like everything is an exciting discovery

• There's no singing in this scene but it has so much rhythm and is so compelling when in another writer's hands it would be boring and forgettable

• I broke out a chunk but it's so dense there are so many words and I love each one

• Genny counting down to his return, she already knows him so well

• Again I am trying not to type out every line

• I think they both yell for the page but I'm actually not sure, either way they are so excited and yelling something

• The new book has done so much to deepen their relationship, I adore these idealistic little nerds

• Arthur cannot contain himself

• His attempt to cool things down for himself by taking his hands off her face and then "you were very helpful, thank you"

• Smooth

• Convincing

• Definitely professional and platonic

• Truly do not know how Genny does not realize he's in love with her at this point but she sure is not gonna get better at that

• "And I suppose France too"/"I know that hurt"/"A little bit" and then he laughs it's adorable

• They're both so giddy here

• "Arthur I did already know that about you, that you were a decent fellow"/"I'm glad"

• They're in love. They are so in love.

• Arthur has taken on Genny's tone for the word inspiration when he talks to the knights

• "You've invited the French" every time Sagramore says it, it's just as funny

• "We may not be born equal"/"We are not sire" (with so much contempt)/"So our laws will make us equal" (with no room for disagreement)

• The immediate conflict

• And we see Arthur being a king and taking a hard line which we don't get to see much in this show and I love it

• "What about God's laws?"/"Not. Our. Jurisdiction" like are we sure this is not actually from the west wing

• I'm internally cheering when I hear it, I love this line far too much

• It's funny but also authoritative and kingly

• I get that some people do not vibe with Sorkin's style and that's fine but I very much do

• This show is so for me it's kind of incredible it was not made with that purpose

• A Sorkin character who would love Sorkin's work, I just adore it

• And according to the funniest line from any review I read, also has Sorkin's haircut

• That just lives in my brain because it's funnier than any piece of media criticism I will ever hear

• The knights already dissenting is very good but also that they don't fully agree yet with each other

• They build it in immediately and that's such a good choice, it makes every escalation feel totally plausible instead of the knights just easily falling for Mordred's bullshit

• Dinadan quoting Plato's ideas and saying how they're the well-educated people who should be in charge is great

• I love that the knights get to be characters and have thoughts

• Their constant vacillating between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the power structure they benefit from

• One of my favorite running tensions

Act 1, Scene 3: The countryside outside of Camelot - six months later

• The performance of C'est Moi is so funny

• Going 100% immediately

• Jordan Donica was just as perfectly cast as everyone else

• The lyrics are so funny and then he is just so loud

• His little whispered "C'est Moi" after the second verse while posing is so much funnier than it is on the cast recording

• "Had I been made the partner of Eve/we'd be in Eden still" is my favorite lyric

• The scream on clean destroys me

• Lance is always at a 10 and he's so delusional, I'm obsessed with him

• There's so much loud breathing in this performance which I love

• And whirling his sword around the stage

• "Beware enemies of Arthur do you hear me beware, from this moment you answer to me" while Arthur is literally unconscious behind him, this is comedy

• "You raised your sword to me"/"Oh I was saying hello"/"I did not know that"

• Lance is not sorry at all and it's hilarious

• He's just on another planet compared to everyone else and I love it

• Also Arthur so pure, just seeing a random person and trying to say hi

• Like you're the king of the country, you do know many people are not exactly going to be friendly, right?

• "I honestly thought I was more recognizable to the French"

• "Have you changed your Francs to English shillings?"/"Why?"/"This man's face is on money"

• Arthur subtly trying to tell Lance what's happening but the word subtle is not in Lance's vocabulary

• "I'm underwhelming in person"

• Says the man that keeps making French people instantly fall in love with him in the woods

• "My security detail... right in the nick of time"

• "I beg your majesty to forgive for me for by forgiving me I'll suffer even more"

• Lance is screaming the whole time

• I don't know how he does it

• "But my strength comes from purity of spirit"/"What was that?"/"Purity of spirit, my personal relationship with the almighty, he favors me"/"I'd keep that to yourself"

• I can't write it out but this

• And this is about to have to switch out for the rest of the show so like even more screaming somehow

• He's so funny, it isn't reasonable

• Also love that his language is the least modern of them

• It fits

• Seems like some of his lines come directly from the original book and it works amazingly

• "Be a faultless example to children" is another iconic delivery

• Also Lance asking for a mission, incredible

• He just plays everything so straight and it's perfect

• Like not a single acknowledgement of the ridiculousness of this character

• Arthur will literally get a concussion to avoid a social function, relatable

• "Until you came along and whacked me in my head"/"AND FOR THAT I BEG YOUR HARSHEST PUNISHMENT"/"Nope, nope, we're not going back to that"

• Yes the all caps is necessary, Lance is always speaking in caps, if he lived in a time a cell phones all of his texts would look like that

• And Arthur's tone when he responds

• When Lance starts singing again and then Arthur just says nope so many times

• This is their whole relationship

Act 1, Scene 4: A park near the castle

• This scene is just a magnificent Phillipa Soo showcase that we have been blessed with

• Like she is just so talented and I am blown away

• There's a reason Lusty Month of May is the song they have the most out there

• "The birds and the bees with all of their vast/amorous past/gaze at the human race aghast" is my favorite and she does it so perfectly

• Also the intro music just exactly captures that buzzy spring feeling

• My roommate and I both had the experience where the first time we saw the show, none of the music stuck with us

• And then the second time, all of the sudden it burrows into your brain

• This burrowed first because of course, it's so vibrant and lovely

• The original music is so good and somehow the transition from the more modern dialouge into the songs is seemless

• Genny has two missions: justice for all and bringing sex to England

• Look there's none in her own marriage and she needs an outlet, make those people kiss, it's all you have

• Genny's so fun and adorable in this song and it's perfect and I have no notes

• I'm just gonna go watch the today show performance and bask in it, this is the most classic Broadway musical sequence in the whole thing

• I love the idea that she's inviting all these normal people in and the beginning of the knights absolutely hating it

• "Be right quieter"

• And when they refer to Genny as a guest in the country

• The original is very and everyone loves her and I love that there's this tension where the people with power don't like her but everyone else does

• They say all the quiet parts out loud in this scene

• The show needs the knights so badly to show the discontent growing over time

• But they still respect tradition enough to enforce respect for the queen on Pellinore

• "I've only lived here a short time"/"Oh and you're already the queen, well done"/"I really had nothing to do with it"

• "Full of youth he was but brooding over problems that would confound Solomon. Ever met him your majesty?"/ "Constantly, he's my husband."

• With such affection ahhhh

• "You must be Morgan Le Fay... oh how he'd go on about the loveliness of Morgan Le Fey, her unsurpassing beautiful"

• Genny getting emotionally slapped in the face, it hurts so much

• The first crack in their relationship because they couldn't talk to each other...

• "I'm glad that nice young man found a nice young lady"

• Why does this make me feel things?

• I love the royal music every time

• "As you were everyone, pick grapes, eat flowers, or uh the other way around"

• Arthur and Genny's little catch up about Pelli is very cute, we don't get to see them be cute for a while after this so I just want to appreciate it

• Lance having no social awareness and continuing to make proclamations while Genny could not care less and is actively trying to speak to someone else, brilliant

• Genny and Arthur just waiting for Lance to stop talking after she keeps being interrupted and then Genny rushing out her lunch invitation and Arthur rushing out his response

• Arthur immediately wanting to run ideas by Genny, she is crucial to the development of Camelot and it's very much not a secret

• Arthur's "uh oh" when Lance is doing some casual misogyny

• "That sounded like a friendly exchange of pleasantries"/"It was not"

• No fucks for Genny today

• I wish I could one day know the translation of Genny and Lance's friendly exchange of pleasantries

• "Who would serve as the standard?"/"Oh certainly not me your majesty"/"See no hubris"/"My standards are much too high"/"Dammit Lance"

• "Have you achieved perfection milord?"/"Please say no"/"Of course I haven't your majesty"/"Good"/"Refining the soul is an endless struggle... but physical perfection"/"No"/"Yes"/"Go back to speaking French"

• "And in your quest for spiritual perfection have you considered the value of humility?"/"Ah something we should all consider. In fact let's take two minutes of silence to consider the value of humility."

• The dialouge between the three of them is so funny in this scene

• The ship is sinking and Arthur is just there with a tiny bucket while Lance and Genny keep creating giant new holes

• Genny calling Lance a jackass is both hilarious and also so valid

• "She already has an affectionate nickname for you"

• We have officially reached the beginning of the end, well we had some nice moments

• Like imagine if Pelli didn't start going on about how in love Arthur was with Morgan and then Arthur didn't show up with his new best friend who immediately implied women were too stupid to engage in government

• Genny was having a no fucks day and was probably ready to do a stupid thing and maybe that stupid thing was her husband

• A true tragedy

• "And with humility I"

• Dinadan's line deliveries are so dry and good

• And Genny's laugh

• "And whom will the three of you want to impress?"/"We want to impress the king too."/"Ah yes English men"

• I love the knights, they've all got their own little comedic touches in this song

• Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Genny

• Take Me to the Fair is a masterpiece

• I don't know what constitutes a hot take about this show because there are 5 people talking about it

• But my hot take is that as much as Lusty Month of May is a brilliant and amazing song

• This is actually the Phillipa Soo tour de force

• Her fake crying is so good

• There are so many good flourishes in the singing

• Same thing I feel about I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Phillipa Soo is just enhancing every line with her hilarious delivery

• Also this sound

• Sagramore is always operating at 50% more intensity than the rest of the knights and it's perfect

• Him having to be held back by the other two when Genny sings to him

• It's involuntary at this point that I turn my head back at French during this verse

• His very loud delivery of "I swear to you the challenge will be met"

• "Sirrrr Liiiiionel"/"Ma'am"/"Ugh"

• And when she gives his chest a little slap after "and young du Lac"

• Perfect

• And her laugh-cry at the end of Lionel's part

• Their faces when she touches them are also just very confused and funny, she is not good at this

• I love when the knights are singing together, bringing up Lance really has wrapped them around her finger

Act 1, Scene 5: The King's study - the night before the tournament

• "You know that it's your move right?"/"I did not know that. I'll need to alter my strategy now"

• Honestly so relatable I suck at chess, Pelli is the best

• "If we're to care about justice, we need to care even more about injustice"

• Just a good little Sorkin nugget

• Pelli refusing to understand any of Arthur's ideas, excellent

• "Do I understand that you intend to be history's first king to yield power?"/"Oh now you're catching on"

• I do just love Arthur so much

• And the delivery of "she wrote what you just read"

• He's so pleased to inform Lance that Genny's writing treatises about justice

• Pelli's smug little "it's your move" like that's correct, no one is allowed to not respect women in Arthur's study

• "He's had you in checkmate for an hour and a half"

• Arthur's patience is astounding, Lance should be taking notes while he's perfecting his spirit

• "Would you like to play me or do you ever do anything but perfect your soul?"/"No I also perfect my body"

• Again just perfect deliveries and honestly so much respect to the new book for making Lance even more irritating but eventually more human too

• I am not dragging Lance, this is a compliment

• Just the way Jordan Donica plays it completely straight without being able to detect sarcasm is hilarious

• "The arrangement I'm in is called a marriage, having some fun would be called treason. And finally I hate his breathing guts."

• Setting up the consequences we know are coming with a little joke, I like it

• "Well be sure and give us clear skies tomorrow when you're arranging things with god tonight"

• Savage, I don't like most of the original dialouge but we had a winner with this one

• Her delivery just elevates it

• "No one could refuse your wish"

• The gall of Lance to say that like that in front of Arthur like he is shameless

• "Why do you have to bait the man?"/"I dislike him, I thought I was making that clear"

• Genny is so relatable

• Their first fight and Arthur's already insulting the French, I'm not sure why he thought this was going to go well

• Arthur trying to delicately ask Genny to withdraw her permission from Dinadan

• He's trying to have this conversation as her husband and not her king but Genny is not even having it a little

• Genny explaining that she already gave permission for all the knights is so funny

• I know they're basically the original lines but ya know, sometimes Lerner nailed it

• "It will seem to the entire court as if you are rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."/"The only reason it will seem that way is because I'm rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."

• "He's going to embarass those three. These are not men who take well to embarrassment."

• Like Arthur already knows exactly who his knights are

• He knows that they don't exactly match up to his ideals

• The delivery on "will you withdraw your permission" is also spot on like Arthur is ready to exit this conversation right now

• Also on "if I do will you forgive me"

• Like he knows that's not happening

• "Not as long as I live, no"

• Perfect riff on the original book's line

• Arthur doing some investigating on Genny hating Lance like he knows before she even does

• Ouch

• And then him starting to get frustrated when she's not answering like babies' first fight is not going well

• "Because he needs to be brought down to earth... literally not metaphorically"

• Like she has yet to be wrong

• "Merlyn never taught me how to handle a woman"/"You didn't read the book?"/"There's a book? No I can see from your face that there's not a book. Though maybe in France they would have published something, no I can still see on your face"

• We love a Genny dripping with sarcasm moment

• And Arthur being an idiot nerd

• He's so so stupid

• Another one of my truly favorite lines and deliveries, he is so excited that he completely forgets he's mad at her for a second and then pouting when he realizes

• "If the king wishes me to withdraw my permission, let him so command... nope, then I will bid you goodnight"

• The aggressiveness on her daring him to command her is so much

• Perfect

• I love her nope, a little power play

• Because she knows he won't and he knows he won't and she's happy to remind him of that they both know that and then leave

• His silence is doing so much work too

• Damn this scene is good

• "And before I go to bed as a gesture to Lancelot and to you, I'll pray it's over quickly"/It will be"

• They're so mad, I love it

• "There should be a book"

• Grumbling sullen Arthur is very funny even if How to Handle a Woman is lowkey the worst song

• And Arthur's worst impulse, which the narrative knows because it plays under him talking about vengeance and what he's entitled to later

• Like they do a good job recontextualizing it but it's still not the best

• Just hearing him sing the word threaten is kind of jarring, I cannot even slightly imagine this Arthur even thinking it once

• In my opinion they should've just cut it, I'd gladly take more Sorkin dialouge instead

• I do appreciate the way they scaled back this music in the rest of the show

• Because it's all over the second act of the movie, Arthur and Genny's theme if you will

• Like even during their last conversation

• Because they're not the love story so their theme isn't really a love song

• But then here, they play it under Arthur's worst impulses at the end of act 1 and banish it which is so smart

Act 1, Scene 6: A grandstand - the next day

• The music coming into this scene and when Arthur and Genny show up, again fantastic

• The outright hostility between the knights and Lance, they turned it so far up in this version

• Pushing him down and shit

• I love Athur and Genny showing up and getting to see them actually be king and queen and have their over-the-top outfits and crowns in this and the last act 1 scene because it's so removed from who they are the rest of time

• Arthur's speech at the beginning trying to glorify them not having the tournament and how great losing is and having to be stopped by Genny

• He's trying so hard and his speech is not good

• The fact that she basically tells him to stop and his response is fine like I think he forgets that he's actually in charge

• I love a sword fight

• The movement, the drama, the loud clanging...

• I am but a humble girl raised on the Pirates of the Carribean movies

• Dinadan being a dick before the fight with "and now for your lesson sir"

• The way Lance knocks the sword out of Dinadan's grip and makes him pick it up before defeating him, such an asshole move

• I truly can't tell if Lance has just such a superiority complex that he doesn't realize what parts of his own behavior are making people dislike him or he's just so stuck in his toxic little mindset that he doesn't care if people hate him for it

• I kind of feel like Lance is so into his specific notions of the world that even he doesn't really know why he acts the way he does

• "Dinadan seemed very inspired by your kerchief, should we continue?"

• "You know he almost had him, right up until the moment he never stood a chance"

• Their fight being played out by proxy while Arthur makes snide comments and they give each other looks is good shit

• Sagramore's scream, he's always going so hard

• The fact that Arthur fighting instead of Lionel is new for this

• Genius

• So good

• The dialouge around it is good too

• The temptation to just transcribe the whole thing is so strong

• Commanding Lance to pick back up his sword like damn

• I love seeing this new side of Arthur

• He can and will fight and he's good at it

• "I know what a damn baguette is"

• His little bit to Lance about it just being about morale is very good

• But also he can see what's going on even if Genny can't so is it?

• The fact that he may well have won the fight if it wasn't for a cool bird, what a man

• Fun fact about me, I didn't even see the bird or realize that's why he got distracted until the last time

• He and Genny are like very much not in a good place this moment but he will let it slide to point out a bird

• Arthur's fall is very good

• Can you tell I think this scene is also very good, I've only written it like twelve times

• The fact that they're letting people fight with swords and there isn't a doctor for 12 miles, amazing planning by everyone

• The bit of everyone thinking Arthur was dead and him sarcastically correcting them is amazing 100% of the time

• "He put life back into him" is just consistently hilarious

• "I'm not wanted here Arthur"

• With the most heartbreaking delivery

• Aw we finally see Lance have some shred of being an actual person

Act 1, Scene 7: The castle terrace - on the evening of the same day

• I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight intro-ing into this scene

• "Well you got me there" being screamed is perfect

• Pelli sensing that something is bothering Arthur, their relationship is very sweet

• Pelli describing the way Genny and Lance were looking at each other, what a shit stirer

• "It may be the only way to get him to stay"/"Maybe it's best if you let him go"/"Let him go?"/"Maybe it's best"/"Why is that?"/"Well...You said yourself, morale"

• Like she's trying to protect them but she won't say it

• For obvious reasons

• But it's confirming what Arthur already suspects

• And just drawing them further apart

• Another great her silence is doing so much work moment

• The entire telling Lance he's being invested discussion is so intense

• So much anger simmering in Arthur that can't help but come out in the line deliveries in the beginning

• Genny refusing to engage and turning her back to the whole thing

• "I'm sure he'd like to hear it from another child of France"/"This is my country now"

• Oh boy I love this exchange

• Like she's trying, she's trying so hard

• And I don't know what the fuck Arthur is thinking with that one, in what way could she possibly respond that's not going to be bad for him?

• Arthur leaving them alone like whyyyy

• And then Arthur giving Genny back her bloody kerchief, fuck

• All is very much not forgiven here

• "God dammit Pelli, I wasn't dead"

• Genny making it clear she does not believe Arthur was dead, I appreciate that she's also very clear on the fact that their world is not magical

• I wonder if Lance does think he willed Arthur back to life

• Probably

• "Don't ever say it out loud. Neither of us can ever say it out loud"

• This was another straight up gasping in the theater moment

• The entire conversation between Genny and Lance is so good and tense

• And the delivery on that line just feels like getting punched in the gut

• Phillipa Soo is amazing

• I love that she won't let them say it, that she's fighting it

• And the way she cuts him off, the way she makes him agree to not say it

• This is the intense love she wanted and it doesn't need to be said which is exactly what she needed to feel from Arthur but didn't get

• Also Lance just trying to confess his feelings the first second he can is just such an interesting character choice

• Like the truth is his purity of the soul bluster doesn't hold up to the slightest temptation

• He's ready to betray Arthur the second he leaves the room

• It's all a front

• Not intentionally, like he believes the things he says he believes

• But he can't keep to it

• I think he's so drawn to Arthur because Arthur actually has the qualities he's proclaiming define him

• But I don't even think Lance knows any of this about himself

• At least not until later

• He's just impulsive

• Which is I think what makes him an interesting character to me but also makes his motivations hardest to decipher

• Before I Gaze at You Again is such a stunning song

• And watching Phillipa Soo just emote for the whole time

Act 1, Scene 8: The great hall - on that evening

• All the music that starts this scene is brilliant

• "I'll never disappoint you"/"I know"

• I just...

• Like we the audience know but also the characters sort of all know and they are determined not to let it happen but that only makes it happen anyway

• Ugh those lines are a little nothing but they're everything

• I have the YouTube clips of Richard Burton's version of this and it does just indicate how well they've modernized

• Theater has changed so much so the pacing of 1961 compared to this is kind of fascinating

• This is also actually the writing I think is the best from the original and it is so fascinating to compare the two versions which I'm sure someone has done and I want to read it because there is so much to say

• It's so bold to close act 1 with a speech instead of a song

• I had no context coming in so they had me in the first half, I wasn't sure if this was Arthur's turn into the villain moment

• Once again I'm just like pointing to the whole speech and yelling how good it is

• Whoever decided this belonged on the cast recording is my personal hero

• This is just on my normal spotify playlist and as long as I'm not reading, I will not skip it

• But I love the idea that in the original book Arthur starts out by declaring his love for Genny and Lance and in this version it's like he's actively talking to the audience to defend himself

• To say he's not some stupid optimistic kid, that he sees everything we have

• Comes out swinging

• I can't explain how much "proposition: I am not a befuddled king" shook me, I was ready for shit to go down and I love it as the opener to this

• The pause before "whom they love", the sadness in it

• "And she didn't choose whom she married"

• Like Arthur can never get rid of that guilt

• The push and pull of this entire thing where he will try to make an argument with himself that everything is fine but the bitterness keeps seeping in until there's no rationality left

• Trying not the write out the whole thing but the rhythm of it, the pacing, this performance is spectacular

• The way the audience startles when he starts screaming

• Like he's having his back and forth rational debate with himself and finally we see him lose that control

• And it is the good shit

• I can't explain how much I came in with no context for this show and how much this completely threw me in the best way

• We're finally a glimpse of what's happening inside Arthur's head, to see the way he's been holding so much back from everyone else

• I love that he's still yelling at Merlyn, not exactly sure what I want to read into that, I feel like there are a few lines of thought

• "Am I not entitled to a man's vengence?"

• Perhaps my favorite line in the first half

• Every line is sort of my favorite but I guess let's settle on this one

• Because the original is "I demand a man's vengence"

• And same sentiment but entitled is so much more toxic

• Like the thing about this magic-less universe is that Arthur wasn't destined for some greatness and so he pulled the sword from the stone

• He wasn't owed something, he didn't deserve it, it just happened and he chose to rise to the challenge

• And this is the first moment he's decided he might be entitled to anything

• And then he does a 180 into deserving nothing

• "Proposition: I'm not a man, I'm a king"

• Like wow so much to unpack psychologically there

• I mean he and Lance have very much the same problem of trying to suppress their own humanity but the reasons are so different

• When Arthur switches into his idealistic mode and they start playing I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight because he's being kingly, literally gets me every time

• The entire thing is so good, I love the second half so much

• "I wasn't trained for this"

• I love the running theme of Merlyn training Arthur in all of these important skills but never teaching him how to handle emotions and relationships and uh maybe he should have

• There were perhaps some limits to Merlyn's wisdom that set Arthur up to fail

• Because he's been king since he was barely out of childhood

• He never got the chance to have normal, equal relationships where he could figure shit out

• So instead he just pushes it all down because he's not wrong in that he doesn't get the luxury of following his emotions

• I love every second of this scene

• I love every line, every delivery, every movement

• Like it is a hard ask to make an actor just walking around the stage monologuing compelling in a musical and this is so so compelling

• Just on the whole of this show, I don't know that I've ever been so blown away by a stage performance as I was watching Andrew Burnap and this scene is just a perfect encapsulation of why

• Whatever he's in next, I will go

• Okay real talk something about this man's face just renders it unrecognizable to my brain so more than likely I'll see something and be like wow that person was amazing, who was that and then it will turn out to be him

• I say specifically because I happened to be watching Under the Banner of Heaven the whole time I've been having a Camelot obsession and how did I find out he was in it? I happened to see his name in the end credits four episodes in...

• But anyway I will at least try to know whatever he's in next so I can go on purpose because this performance is living in my brain and I don't think it's leaving

• I do make fun of previous versions of this show for casting people who are clearly not musical theater actors in this role but actually I do think casting actors who do straight plays does add so much as long as they aren't terrible at singing

• All of which to say again that I do think this was some of the most perfect casting I have ever seen

• Basically the statements you can tell Andrew Burnap is not a musicals person and you can absolutely tell Phillipa Soo and Jordan Donica are absolutely musicals people

• Are both extreme compliments to the people that decided on this casting

[putergenius]

[milo-is-rambling]

My mom was just like ahhh Im anxious to go out of my comfort zone and I was like you’re good how is this out of your comfort zone you’ve done this before and she was like why do you always judge my feelings and say I’m not allowed to feel that way I should feel some other way and I’m sitting here like :| as if she hasn’t done that to my my entire life and as if I didn’t mean you’ve done this before as a you got this sentiment not get over urself

[filmstarved]

i can fix him and fuck him.

18+ [logan x female!reader]

nobody can break through logan's walls with ease like you can. and he actually lets you, welcomes it even. he needs it to breathe and when he's ready to walk out of the gifted youngsters door, there you are again.

word count: 5,737

logan sulks. he’s so devoid of love and compassion that he sulks. he’s confused most days, too. unsure of who he is and what he even wants. the people who are somehow closest to him can’t even find their way past the fire breathing dragons that guard the drawbridge to his heart. (scott jokes that he doesn’t have a heart and that the adamantium replaced it and he’s fully pumping cold, hard metal).

logan is a man who answers to himself and doesn’t give people even the slightest chance to ask him a dumb fucking question because he’s not in the fucking mood. he’s never in the mood…unless you put him in one. usually a good one.

you earn a smile from logan as easy as the sun makes it seem to rise every morning and the moon to take its place at night. it leaves the team dumfounded. they believe if you weren’t here, logan would have left a long time ago. they’re right. logan used to search high and low for any excuse to leave. he never knew where he’d go, he’d just…go. but you didn’t dare let him out of your sight. not ever since the professor had brought you to what you call home a little over a year ago now.

deep down, he wanted reasons to stay. somewhere deep inside that metal frame…he wanted things to be right again. he’d find it tiring most days to carry around his grief and anger. but you gave him reasons to stay just one more day.

“so we’re working on that thing for charles together tomorrow right?” you asked on a wednesday, standing so cutely in the threshold of his door that it was almost annoying to him.

“so we’re catching that movie downtown with ororo and hank tomorrow right? it starts at 6!” you asked on a thursday.

“heeyyy, lo…do you possibly, maybe think you could sub for scott’s morning classes tomorrow? he has a dentist appointment…,” you shyly asked on a very late sunday night. (logan heard scott’s jokes about his heart so he made you ask. logan was the only one available.)

but behind his stoic stature and intimidating glare fixed on his face accompanied by knitted brows, he’d always say yes…to you. you were his reason for staying. he knew it but would never admit it. you knew it but played the oblivious part well. and the rest of the team would gossip about it when you two weren’t around. but as long as you were here, logan has nowhere else to be.

although as of late, you’ve been busy. much busier than usual. charles has you creating plans for a mission happening soon. when you’re not teaching mutant ethics 101 to freshmen, you’re hauled up in the lab or library; sometimes darting back and forth between the two multiple times a day leaving very little time to worry about logan.

tonight, you brought your work back to your dorm. as you cleaned up a rough draft of an exit strategy, rain began to tap lightly on the window. you had lit candles littered around the room as well as grouped on your table, a small desk lamp illuminated the surface further. as you reached up to stretch your aching back muscles, you were startled by the sound of a throat clearing.

your eyes shot to the sound at your door where logan stood, leaning against the frame; arms crossed and still like he had been glued to the spot. 

“hi lo,” you say. “y’scared me, heh.” you aren’t used to logan greeting you often, especially not this late. he’s over 150 years old, of course he’s grumpy and an early bird. you’re usually the one at his door with requests and invitations to social events he assumes can be nothing short of insufferable. he sighs, his stare dropping to burn holes in the ground. “logan, are you-“

“i think i’m gonna get out of here, bub.”

those words felt like an arrow hitting the bullseye in your chest and then another splitting the first one right through the center.

“wha-what do you mean?…you’re leaving?” you asked, confusion and frustration trembling in your voice.

“it’s too hard being here.”

with that, you stood up from your chair, beelining to him. “c’mere,” you say hushed, pulling on his leather clad arm, trying to unfold them and get him out of the door frame. he doesn’t budge and you pull “the look” that you know he can’t say no to. “come sit with me please, lo.”

he unfolds his arms which allows you to grab his hands to lead him to take a load off on your bed. your bare feet pat on the hardwood floor as you quickly go back to close the door.

you walked back over to him, assessing his body language. ever since he let you use your mutation to “read him” a few months ago, you told him you’d never do it again without his permission. one gaze into his eyes and a touch of his skin and you could feel everything wracking around in his head. anxiety, rage, hate but love, pain. it was hard to feel just for a moment and your heart cracked knowing he was riddled with those feelings constantly.

but right now you couldn’t help it, he was slouched on the edge of the bed, his head dropping to rest in his large hands, and apparently ready to walk right out of the door. your powers are amplified with a touch and even more when you can look into their eyes. from a distance, you could feel a sense of unease and something else… a pressure…built up in your stomach as you surveyed your friend. it didn’t feel bad though…it felt familiar. a good familiar. you stopped reading him and did your best to shrug off the aching stomach feeling and care for your disheveled logan.

he wasn’t emotional, like ever. he hid all that, only showing you what you wanted to see; what he believed you wished him to be — happy, whatever that was. but that couldn’t’ve been farther from the truth. sure, you want him to be happy but also just whatever he wanted to feel, you wouldn’t suppress it or try to change it to fit some ideal of who people on the outside want him to be. yes, he was one of the meanest motherfuckers you had ever met but he was your mean motherfucker. (whatever that means because nothing has ever really been clear between you two).

you walked closer to him, forcing yourself in his diabolical bubble. you stood between his legs, removing his hands from his face to wrap them around your waist. you scooped your hands under his scruffy chin, pulling up to get a look into his bloodshot eyes. oh, he’d been crying.

“lo…,” you muttered. “why were you crying, wolv?” you slide a thumb across his cheek where tears had stained the skin. “why do you want to leave?”

he pulled his face away, breaking his stare with you. he dropped his head forward to rest on your stomach, wrapping his arms around your legs so his hands rested on the back of your thighs. he began to slowly rub the exposed skin of them that your very short night shorts didn’t cover. he lifted the hem of your shirt slightly to press his hot face into the soft, cool skin underneath. he hummed into it, allowing you to feel the vibration.

“logan,” you softly moaned his name under your breath. his fingers press firmly, inching closer to the crease in the skin where your ass meets thigh.

“is this okay?” he asks lowly, when he looks up for confirmation to keep going, you’re already looking down at him nodding. “say it’s okay for me to touch you like this, bub.”

“yes, keep going, logan,” you said curtly. in your voice there is a hint of need. you hadn’t been touched like this since jean’s christmas party, tipsy off spiked egg nog in the garden with a guy whose mutation was a very wet, long tongue. flirting with him seemed intriguing in the moment, but five minutes later, it rendered itself utterly useless due to user error. the sexual tension between you and logan is so potent it usually clears out a room. aside from accidental brushes of hands and quick looks at each others lips mid conversation, neither one of you has acted on it.

his hums turn to growls and soft whimpers as your hands ran through and tugged his hair. your fingers found their way to his nape, splaying out to grip the hair there in your fist. he managed to place a single kiss on the skin right above the elastic of your shorts before you pulled his head back to scrutinize his face.

“you don’t have permission to read me,” he groaned. before you could ask how he even knew that’s what you were doing he said, “you get this serious, focused look in your eyes. i can feel you in my head.”

“logan, what are we doing?” you ask, releasing his hair and stepping out of his bubble. 

his hands drop from the absence of your thighs onto his lap and his sighs frustratingly. 

“what do you mean?” he asks, admiring your body in the dim light with a semi pressing on the denim of his jeans through his boxers.

“i’m…not doing this with you…if you’re just gonna disappear from my bed before the fuckin’ sun comes up. i’m not doing this,” you said, with your hands on your hips.

he pressed his hands into his knees to push himself up to tower over you. he took two big steps forward and stood in front of you. his hand raised up to brush the back of his fingers across your cheek to cup it and rub his thumb over the warm skin. 

he pressed his lips to yours, skillfully allowing his tongue access to it. you let him. “i give you permission,” he moaned in your mouth. “read me. feel how i feel about you…how i’ve always felt about you.”

he welcomed the hesitant slip of your hands past his jacket and under his shirt, shivering and chuckling “mm, cold” into your mouth. you rested your cool touch on his hips and with his mouth obsessed with yours, you read him. 

your head dizzied instantly and the hair on the back of your neck stood up. you had never felt anything as strong as this. you could almost taste the colors in logan’s head. your heart dropped to your stomach like you were on a rollercoaster, feeling sick from adrenaline in the best ways. and then, returned that good familiar feeling. this time buried even deeper in your stomach, moving it’s way lower…and lower until logan was swallowing the noises escaping you. before you literally passed out, you dropped your hands and took back ownership of your lips and tongue. breathing heavily, you moved away from him to collect yourself.

a beat of silence followed by a heavy sigh and a “well, say something” from logan passed and you opened your mouth to speak before shutting it again.

that…was the best thing you had ever felt. no drug could compare to the euphoria that a minute of kissing logan could bring. you could practically feel yourself lubricating and your upper thighs unconsciously squeezed together as you scrambled to find thoughts.

there were none. your mind already dumb and wanting more of him…more of the feeling. your fists planted firmly on both your hips as if you were grounding yourself to the floor to avoid buckling. you eyed the ground, looked back up at him and forwarded with another heated, taking-in-each-others-breath kiss. your hands found their way to the same place gripping the hair on his nape to which he praised the tug with a moan. he supported your balance as your whines got more whiney and needy and your hands held onto him like life support.

“lay down,” he said into your kiss. it wasn’t really a command, more of a warning because he tossed you on the bed like unfolded laundry.

he stood over you as you collected yourself, darting your tongue out to taste the spit he left behind. you propped yourself up on your elbows to get a look at the man casting a shadow over you. without the sounds of pleasure exclaiming in each others mouths, your ears absorbed the comforting sound of the battering rain. a tree branch smacked the window as thunder rumbled outside.

logan took a moment to admire your presence. starting at the top, he gazed upon your hair that he associates with vanilla and roses and the times he’d touch himself wondering how it’d feel being wrapped around his hand and pulled.

as he removed his leather jacket, he took his time mentally undressing you. feeling even more pressure build in your clit, you bore your hips down into the mattress, rolling them in circles to stimulate the swollen nub. he beheld your tits, flicking his tongue over his bottom lip at the sight of your hard buds under your very thin, white tank top. he threw his heavy jacket to the side, letting it thud in a ball on the ground.

“you look so beautiful, sweetheart,” he said, deeply enthralled by your scantily clad figure laid out in front of him. unable to stop staring, you could see the bulge in his pants get larger and it ridiculously turned you on. with you making eye contact with the crotch of his jeans, he effortlessly unfastened his belt buckle. the metallic buckle clanked to the floor as his jeans and boxers pooled around his ankles. 

he stroked himself while he looked upon you. it was like you could read his mind, because you began to touch yourself. the twitch of his lips and darkening of his eyes validated your teasing. letting yourself drop back on the bed, you caressed your body for him. one hand occupied by cupping your tit and pinching and twisting your nipple while the other is exploring the wet spot left on your panties. not being able to handle eye-fucking you any longer, he dropped to his knees on the edge of the bed between your legs. logan hooked his arms under your knees, pulling you close which in your intoxicatingly lustful brain you found funny, so you laughed.

logan spread your thighs open so he could fit in between them to leave wet, sloppy kisses all over your skin. he nibbled here and there, earning soft hisses and hums from your parted lips.

kiss kiss nibble hiss mmm kiss hum nibble nibble bite kiss suck

he spent about a minute just doing that, leaving warm welts in his mouths wake. “i need these off of you, princess.” once he had kissed his way up to the elastic of your shorts, he snapped it. you nodded and he did the honor of pulling them down and flinging them across the room like he was opening presents on christmas morning. 

he let out an amused scoff as he ran his trembling hand down his face, caught between ecstatic disbelief at the sight of your black lace panties with little black bows adorning the seams. you mentally thanked your past self for slacking on doing laundry and only having your “special occasion” panties left to wear.

“d’you know how pretty you are,” he said. his eyes traced over every inch of you in excitement like you were artwork he stole from the louvre and made out like a bandit with.

his hand disappeared to slickly stroke himself, his mouth watering in anticipation for your taste. his chest heaves as he takes in the sight of you, studying every curve prettily laid out before him; thinking about every position he wants to see you in and every way he wants to please you. without another groan inducing thought, he lunged forward to press a kiss to your lips, his tongue demanding attention. you drink his breath like liquor becoming completely intoxicated by him. he needed this, he needed you.

“need…to taste…you,” he breathed in between kisses. with this mouth obsessed with yours, his hands caress your tits, his thumbing circles on one of the nubs while he’s pinching and pulling on the other. your head falls back and your neck rolls at the sensation, earning profanities from your pretty, swollen lips. your tit misses the hand that he proceeds to run down and up your thigh to locate the spot in your panties you were playing with a moment before. as he parts from your kiss, he’s hooked two fingers under the elastic, pulling those off swiftly.

you yelp when he pushes your torso down. you stare up at the decorative ceiling as he savors you, kissing and massaging your thick thighs. he’s enjoying playing with you as much as possible before allowing himself any pleasure. he wants your juice to cover his face…his neck…his arm…the bed…the floor too when he gets you to pop like a water balloon.

“logan…please, please,” you beg, pawing at his hair. you lift your head to watch the man between your legs taking in the sight and smell of your pretty, wet pussy. even in the dim light, he could see how much you ached for him. he not so secretly got entertainment from watching you lightly buck your hips up to his face and he would’ve let it continue but your pheromones became overwhelming for him; engulfing his head in it’s enchanting aroma.

like fresh pie on a windowsill, he was drawn into you. logan opened wide to swipe one flat tongued lick up your slit. he had one goal — to knock all sense out of you, to fully engulf you in pleasure. he wants you dumb and begging for him to stay right where he is — at the mansion and also all over you. 

logan audibly sucked and popped your clit in and out of his mouth, teasing the most sensitive bit. he’d suck and pop and then lick up your slick, repeating the act. one of his big hands reached up to cup your tit, pinching and twisting and circling. from his hair to the tit he wasn’t playing with, you clawed at whatever would ground you. being eaten by logan felt like floating above the stratosphere.

your wet soaked his beard and it only made him more horny, his cock dripping and throbbing in his fist. tasting you, inhaling you, winning pretty sounds from you, knowing he’s the one making you buck up and fuck his nose only made his appetite for you insatiable. he let go of himself to push his pointer and middle fingers into your needing pussy. you hissed and cursed. the thrill of him devouring you began to reach its peak. his fingers pumped relentlessly into you, curling them to stimulate your g-spot. moans, curses, the gushing of your wet cunt, his sucking and popping and vibrating moans mixed with the rain and thunder grumbling outside filled the dorm like mozart’s symphony no. 25.

he wanted to kiss you, so he did. with his fingers still coaxing an orgasm out of you, he shared the sweet taste. he got back on the bed with you, sliding his free hand under your back to push you up to further to see the mess you were making on the sheets.

“look at how good you’re taking my fingers,” he groaned, inching closer to your ear so you could hear his dirty language loud and clear. “you can come for me, baby.” he peppered a few kisses to your forehead, removing his hand from behind you so he could press it into your stomach. this only heightened the overwhelming wash of pleasure coursing through you.

“lo…logan, i’m-“

“fuck my fingers, baby. use them…oh that’s it…that’s it…i feel that clenching, c’mon you can do it for me. go big baby, make me happy.” his dirty mouth and sporadic clit circling and pumping in and out of you with his tireless wrist pushed you over the edge. you cowered into his neck, pulling on his white tank top and biting the salty skin below his ear as your pussy obeyed, erupting with your juices. out of breath and fucking dumb already, you could feel the wet soak the sheets under your ass.

logan pulled his fingers out of you, landing a light smack on your pussy before licking you clean off of his digits. you fell back on the bed, your arms above your head as you heaved and saw stars.

“‘m not done with you, princess.” he slid off the bed, still delighted by your taste and engulfed in your aroma.

“fuuuck,” you groaned. the pulsing lightning feeling spread throughout both legs as an effect of your rocking orgasm. logan was wicked with his tongue, a devious magician with his fingers and you were his sole audience member wondering about his tricks for sleight of hand.

he quickly tossed his tank, that had tug marks from your attempt to ground yourself, to the side, his muscles flexing under his skin. as he let your post orgasm, cock-dumb brain fog clear, he spit in his hand to fuck his fist. his saliva mixed with the pre-cum leaking from the head, he groaned and sighed heavily at the feeling of giving his dick some sort of relief. you, needy for another hit of him, propped yourself up on your elbows to watch the most delectable creature pleasure himself.

just the sight of him illuminated by candles and flashes of lightning outside as he gets off to how fucked out and dumb you look was enough to have you open up again and play with yourself. the sensitivity from your swollen nub required a delicate touch but your pussy ached, clenching around nothing. his knitted brows relaxed, eyes darting from your pretty face, to your tits, to your fingers rubbing circles where his mouth resided moments ago back to look longingly into your eyes.

“you’re gonna stay,” you said. your hand reached your mouth, your tongue swiping a lick up your middle and ring fingers, wrapping your lips around them to coat them in your saliva. “tell me you’re going to stay for me,” you elaborated. your wet fingers found your aching center.

“there’s no where else i want to be,” he answered. he paced closer to the bed where you laid, his dick basically making eye contact with you as he stopped a few inches away. “you’re mine, you know that?” he noticed your hand slow, “keep going,” he commanded. logan reached out to cup your face, tilting his head to get a look at you obeying his every request. “your face…your mouth…,” his thumb swiped across your lips as he spoke. “your body…your cunt.” he leaned down to kiss your mouth, leaving a string of spit attached to your lower lip. “your laugh…your heart,” he said kindly, his hand massaging your scalp. moans earned from his praise escaped you. “you’re all mine. is that okay with you, baby?”

you’re so bewitched by his aura and his subtle touches make your heart race so fast that you can’t do anything but try to maintain his torrid eye contact and nod.

“use your words, honey.” his thumb returned to the softness of your parted lips.

“i’m yours, logan,” you said, taking his thumb in and closing your lips around it. “if you’ll stay with me, i’ll be yours forever,” you breathed around his thumb, speaking from a mix of eager lust and the terrifying need for him to not to be an asshole, just once.

“i’m not going anywhere…i promise,” he said matter of factly before leaning back down to hungrily devour your kiss. “i need to…fuck you…now,” he cursed in between swallowing moans. 

“do what you want…i’m yours,” you said just clearly audible over the storm rumbling outside. you two shared eye contact so intense that you noticed his dick twitch from your peripheral. you took his dick in your drooling mouth, reaching up to squeeze the base of him. it twitched from the warmth, pressure and tongue swiping rhythmically around his angry, red tip. you kept yourself enveloped around his length, bobbing your head to hit your gag reflex. the added lubrication drove him crazy, his abs twitching under the toned skin of his abdomen. you moaned around him purely from the enjoyment you got out of having him stretch the corners of your mouth, feeling the sting from it. 

logan reached down with both hands to hold your head steady while he sped up thrusting into your throat. your gags and gasps for air, his praise and the storm filled the room beautifully. 

“fuuuck, baby, keep that throat open for me please,” he begged. his hands left their position to find a new one — one supporting his thrusting hips, the other petting your head. “oh, you look so fuckin’ pretty with my cock down your throat…you’re taking me so good, sweetheart.”

he pulled his dick out of your mouth to smack it on your face, complimenting how gorgeous you look. he kissed and licked the mess off of your mouth.

“mm, baby i need to know how good you feel.” with that, he rounded the bed to lay down. “c’mere, baby.” you turned around, crawling on all fours to obey him. his cock in its usual place to be, in his fist, leaks pre-cum in anticipation for you to smother it with your warm, clenching pussy.

“lay down,” he said.

“damn, yes sir,” you say, jokingly annoyed with all of his demands. you lay down next to him, your knees instinctively parting slightly. he lays on his side, resting his hand on your stomach, rubbing his large hand in flat circles.

“d’you know how long i’ve thought about this moment with you?” he asked, leaning in to kiss and suck the skin in the crook of your neck. you lustfully sighed at the sensation of his hot breath. his hand finds its way between your legs again, tickling and tapping at your slit. “i want you to read me the whole time i’m inside…can you do that?”

“are you—“

“yes i’m sure, i feel so fucking good right now and i haven’t even felt you. i want you to feel that and more,” he explains, pulling your chin in to taste the desperation on you.

before he came just from your kiss and rutting against the sheets, he hovered above you. his lips stayed attached to your chest, kissing lower and lower to suck a tit into his mouth, flicking your nipple with his tongue then biting softly on the nub. his hand disappeared from the side of your head to grab hold of his shaft, flicking his tip against your clit. his head dropped as he watched and listened to your slick coating his cock. he quickly swiped up and down your pussy trying to savor every fold and feeling. his brows furrowed, not being able to resist your warmth, he lined himself up with your hole, using his hand to guide just the tip into it.

“oh…fuck,” he groaned in excitement. he pushed in just a little more which caused you to hiss. his head shot up and eyes scanned your face for any sign of regret or unsureness. “are you okay? d’you want to stop?”

“no, baby,” you giggled, lifting your arms rest around his neck, one hand always finding a way into his dark locks. “just been a while…keep going, i’m okay.”

with your permission, he pushed in a little more. he let out a deep groan at the feeling of you stretching to form perfectly around him. you gasped, pressing a hand into his chest, feeling a similar sting to the one you felt in the corners of your mouth earlier. against his want to start thrusting his whole length into you, his went slow, watching your demeanor for cues to keep going.

“you feel…fuck…like it was made for me,” he said which caused the butterflies in you to flutter their wings even faster. “are you okay?” his chest heaved and his breath fanned your face.

“fuck me…please logan,” you said. your hands reached his hips, pushing them down onto you. without wasting another minute, he did. 

he bent your knee more to press it into your chest as his hips repeatedly slammed down hard, his balls smacking your ass. with one hand giving him better access by positioning your leg higher, the other cupped and squeezed your bouncing tit.

“oh my…fucking god,” you moaned. you had let the walls of your mutation down, allowing yourself to be flooded by not only your pleasure…but the love logan feels for you plus the absolute sheer euphoria that he was experiencing deep inside of your pussy. it coursed through your body like a steam engine leaving the station. it had felt like you had been brought to five earth shattering orgasms before the one that was bound to shake you again soon.

“you know you feel so good, look at that fuckin’ fucked out smile. can you feel it? can you feel how good you make me feel, baby? don’t stop readin’ me, princess. it’s all for you,” he praised for you to hear every word.

“holy shit…mm fuckin’…ahh!” your hands couldn’t help but find their way above your head, subconsciously reaching for the bed post for something to ground you again.

“here, baby, hold onto me.” logan grabbed your wandering wrist with his free hand, slapping your hand on his chest which you pressed into as if you were pushing him away. before your cock drunk mind could register what happened, he had flipped the two of you so you were on top. 

logan looked so fucking pretty under you. you took a second to breathe and take in the view before bending your knees to put yourself in a squatting position on his cock. you placed your hands on his heaving chest for support as you started to bounce your ass on him. ‘oh this is so fun’, the thought making you giggle in elation as you drilled down your hips, rocking them back and forth to feel him stimulate the deepest parts of you. his thumb bored into your clit, drawing circles on it. 

as you kept bouncing your wet pussy on him just how he liked, logan lifted his knees up behind you and pushed you back onto them. he moved his hand away from your clit and picked his head up to watch his dick disappear deep inside you. then, he spit. his saliva landed on your pussy and stomach. he went back to stimulating you, fully realizing how much that turned you on from the tight clench around him and the extra juice running down his ass onto the sheets under you two.

he, still playing with your clit, summoned your face closer to his with the middle and ring fingers on the other hand. once closer, he grabbed your neck to kiss your fiercely. 

“you’re my good girl, huh?”

‘mhmm’ was all you could muster with his hand around your throat and his hips still ramming his cock into your stretched out hole.

“use those words for me, baby. are…mm, fuck…you my good girl?”

“ye…sss, baby i’m your…good…oh my fucking…girl!!”

“open your mouth.” he fucking spit in it. you moaned tasting him again and feeling it on your face. “good…fuckin’ girl,” he complimented, kissing you and then squeezing your cheeks to spit on your tongue again. 

your body started to go limp and your eyes were practically glued together. you could feel the searing hot orgasm burning up inside. you could feel logan in a way that you never thought possible. everything. 

his love, his passion, his longing, his fear, his anxiety, his lust, his heart…everything was yours in this moment. high on his feelings, you let your head fall back coming undone on top of him.

“oh you’re so pretty…that’s pretty, baby, keep…fuck…use me, it’s all for you.” his words took you further and further into ecstasy. it was a really good fucking trip that you never wanted to end. the pain of his cock fucking you out and his grip clutching your skin like he’d fall off earth without doing so made you moan so intensely that not even the thunder outside could compete.

he could tell you were a few fucks away from collapsing but so was he. 

“baby…you keep clenching around me like that…i’m gonna fuckin’ fill you,” he said. you kept bouncing on it, wanting him to even feel a fraction of how he just made you feel. he closed his eyes trying to last as long as possible in the heaven that he found in you. his thumbs bore into your hips as he used them to ground himself.

“i want it, baby…fill your good girl up.” you leaned down to speak into his ear and then carry on kissing his neck, letting him claim your moans as trophies. 

“fuuuuck…fuuuck,” he moaned as his thrusting became sloppy and you weren’t bouncing as much anymore. his abs twitched again along with his face. 

SNIKT!!

you hissed at the cool metal of his claws against your skin and the feel of him throbbing severely inside you as he let himself paint your walls. you thanked him in pleased moans before falling on his chest. still semi-hard inside, he kissed the top of your head to which you looked up and he gave you a proper kiss. he let himself twitch out a few more dribbles of cum inside you before pulling his claws back in to carefully rub your back.

a few beats of silence went by as you listened to each others hastened breaths and the rain tapping the glass. 

“…i love you, logan.”

“i think you know how much i love you, baby,” he said, smugly remembering how you looked coming on his dick, further escalated by his letting you read him.

you two snuggled naked under the covers and as you laid on his chest and listened to his light snoring, you read him again. 

ease and silence…and love.

[dawnwriterimagines]

The Guilty Plea

SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY x FEM!READER TASK FORCE 141 x FEM!READER

Traitors Among Us (Part 1) and Innocents Among You (Part 2)

Verdict Due (Part 4) Clear Skies (Part 5)

Summary: As you're discharged from the infirmary, under watchful eye, you head to Laswell to talk on the rest of your now ruined military career. Of course, you're forced to confront your team as it happens, the last people on earth you'd like to see.

If you liked this would you Buy me a Coffee?

---

Running your fingers along the raised, pink scar across you cheek, the feeling of it...it really looked terrible. A part of you thought it would disappear, hoped it would, but it didn't. It just became severely more noticeable. Looking at this, you knew you'd always have to think of it. You'd sport this reminder for the rest of your life.

Looking away from it, you find your own tired eyes in the mirror, you haven't been sleeping well. Or at all. You can't remember the last time you got 4 hours, let alone 8. Dark circles still surrounded them but at least the bruising and the swelling had gone down.

You couldn't recognize yourself. Not really.

This woman looked so exhausted, so frail and so goddamn angry. It was accurate, it was how you felt. All of it. So, you supposed that the mirror's reflection was the truth, this was you indeed.

"If you need another day or two, no one will ask questions."

You glance over towards your psychologist, your fucking therapist, a nice little 'gift' sent over by the bureau to check in on your mental state after your ordeal. Glaring at him through the reflection of your mirror, he sighs, putting down his pen that slaps against his notepad, "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"I'm going to Laswell." Ignoring his statement, you speak. "I'm ready. I'll pack up. Get back to base. Vera had me discharged from the infirmary. I can start ov--"

"Vera?"

"My nurse. You met her," you continued, annoyance spiking at the interruption. Your wrist brace squeaking quietly under the pressure of your fist tightening beneath the table.

"Right..."

"Do you listen to a word I say outside of...my 'trauma'?" You wonder, bluntly.

Your psychologist blinks, surprised, before clearing his throat, appalled. "If you feel I can be more attentive to your state of well-being throughout our process, than by all means--"

"Oh, so 'no'?" you lean back into your seat, a strained laugh leaving you. His lips press together and you continue before he can find the words. "Because whenever I mention leaving this fucking team, you either adjust our schedule for another two weeks or suggest hypnotic therapy, as if I need anyone else digging around to fuck up my mental state."

"I never meant to imply--"

"Oh, you implied it," you interrupted, gritting your teeth. "I know what I want. And I want off Task Force 141."

He taps at the leather of his notebook. "Scars heal, just remember that, Ms. (L/n). The reminders of your experience shouldn't have to haunt you."

"It's not the scars, I've had my share way before this," you admitted, rising to your feet. You exhale deeply that tells to the effort of it, the steel gear hinges along your leg braces shift with your change of position. Still getting use to them. "It's the person."

"Has she changed, you think?" the psychologist begins to write, getting somewhere.

"She doesn't exist anymore."

Finally, placing the mirror down and onto the side table, you pushed off of the table, rolling your IV pole along with you. Passing the chair your psychologist sits on, he closes his notebook with a frustrated huff, looking over his shoulder. "Session over for you already, Ms. (L/n)?" he sighs. "We've still got the hour."

"I'm done," you take the knob in your hand. Turning.

In more ways than one.

"You understand that, informing your captain on your leave is required of you. Have you spoken to any of them, in the last few weeks?" he spoke up, quickly. "I'm sure giving them a space to open up, share from their view--"

"Why should I care--"

"--will give you better understanding, better clarity of the situation they were in--

Appalled. "What the fuck?" Jamming the door closed with a loud, shuttering thud, you whip around. "IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM!" you could just rip your hair out. "Who--who says that to someone?!"

Your psychologist sits there, eyes wide in confusion. "What--"

"Christ, can you hear me? Can you--can you see me? I've got metal plates in my spine, braces holding my knees in place and nerve damage that'll never heal! Who gives a fuck about them!" your skin feels red hot, your face twisted in rage. "I gave my life! My life to this! And then I'm tortured, I'm threatened, drugged and beaten by my own team, my f--my family for eight fucking years..."

You continue with a heavy chest. "And I'm supposed to invite them for dinner to talk and listen them bitch and moan about why they thought it was necessary to beat me to death for two weeks?! Fuck you!" you spat. "I don't owe them anything!"

"That's not what I was trying to say, Ms. (L/N). I apologize, I overstepped. Come sit down--"

"Of course you meant it," you interrupted, mock humor. "Don't be a pussy, own up to it. Revel in your truth. Be tter yet--" you snatch a journal from the cabinet. Tossing it his way. "Make a note of it."

Turning the knob, you leave the room with a slam of the metal door.

---

You were officially famous. On the base, you were now a legend.

A story that would be mentioned and told at lunch for months. Probably years.

First, you were a rat. Next, you were innocent. This was the most gossip any of those in service had ever seen in their years of service.

An interesting reminder to those in service that you weren't safe off duty either.

You learned a few days ago that there was an update put into the interrogational unit, something about how to properly go about dissecting evidence and being on the lookout for enemy spies in the militia.

You guessed you had been told about it in an effort to be appeased by the thought that the head of control paid attention to anything beyond their own noses for once. But, you had little to no faith in a system that's nearly killed you on and off the field by now, so it didn't matter.

You doubted the new rules would be followed though, there was a plethora of things they'd done to you in that cell that were both illegal and unsanctioned. Most of all, that were expected towards an enemy, a prisoner of war at best, and not a fellow marine.

You arrive at the housing quarters, swiping your key card, pulling the handle and entering the wing. Immediately, you're greeted by a dozen eyes, conversations stopping short and clothes ruffling to silence, suddenly whispers fill the space and eyes turn away.

"Oh, god, it's her..." says one man in the far corner.

"Shut the fuck up, man!" came a harsh whisper back.

"I didn't know it was that bad..."

All those eyes on you, makes you pause in your step, looking around at all of your fellow soldiers, the men and women you've served with for years. Many you recognized, ate with, fought beside that turned their backs to you now. Out of respect? Out of distaste, morale, nerves, pity, it all didn't matter. It all felt the same.

The wheels attached to your IV pole suddenly sounded much too loud on the polished flooring, as you walked down the hall as fast as you were able to.

Breathing out deeply, you get to an elevator, pushing on the button, once, twice, three times, just open goddamn it.

With a ding, the metal doors open, and suddenly you're aware that people could be in the elevator, they could be in this elevator, he could be in this elevator. Your eyes flicker down to the floor, your grip on the pole of your iv tightens, your shoulders stiffen, waiting for a blow that will never come.

You stand there as the doors open up, the small space empty, the metal walls reflect only her and a streak of lighting from the ceiling.

Looking up slowly, finally taking a breath, before sliding the iv up and onto the elevator, following it as you press your floor number along the way.

The ride up is fast, a little rumble as it stops, and then the doors open. Faster than you were prepared for.

Peeking out down the hallway, luckily no one to bump into, which you were thankful for. But, it didn't make this hall any less haunting. You'd been cornered in this same hall, you could recall being hauled out of the room after the solid handle of a knife hits your temple.

You don't go down fast enough, whipping around as you stumble to take the wrist of your attacker, mostly for balance, it's Price. In shock, you're unprepared as Johnny's arm encircle your neck, locking you into position as you both stumble backwards onto the floor. He blocks your airways, hushing you harshly as you struggle, feet kicking out and your vision blurring as your team surrounds you. Your family.

That was quite the headache to wakeup with afterwards.

You hadn't quite remembered until now. Being back served as a hell of a kickstart to your memory.

Just a few more reasons to get the fuck off of 141.

Getting off the elevators, the metal doors sliding closed behind you, you make your way down the hall. The polished flooring creates a subtle squeak through the wheels of your iv pole, your hand absently running over the fading stitches along your side.

Passing the shadows of your tortured memory, the doorway of the office was closed, locked.

You pass Kyle's room.

Johnny's.

Finally, you rush up to the next room on the left, grabbing the handle, before beginning to twist, but then you're yanking your hand back as if the metal had burned you. Your back ramming into the back wall, catching yourself, this wasn't your room.

It was Simon's.

You'd spent hours, days, in that room. More than your own.

Why wouldn't you? You were about to get married to the man. You had more in this room than you had in yours.

Sharp breaths leave you, shivering in your effort to keep yourself together, your head goes back into the wall, swallowing down the ache in your chest.

You wait, muscles tensed and your body pressing back into the wall, hoping it'd absorb you if that door opens. Listening for every sound, any pin drop, even an exhale from beyond that doorway. Luckily, Simon seemed to be out for the day.

Hurriedly, nearly running, you steady yourself against the wall as you rush down to the corner of the hallway, finally finding your room.

Turning the handle, it's not locked, it's broken. It opens with ease.

Entering the room slowly, pushing the doorway aside, the crackle of glass beneath your boots as you step forwards, clothes and picture frames laying scattered.

The mattress flipped and ripped open, springs and cotton cut from it. Your wall of metals and certificates, from acts of bravery and mementos of valor, discarded, later you'd find them in the trash, one with a bullet lodged into the gold.

Sniffling as you leaned down, picking a specific frame off the ground, the only one that hadn't been broken. Laying along the ruined rug, with no care for the glass digging through your jeans, you stare at the still shot of your family.

The only family you had outside of Task Force 141, your father and his sister, military brats themselves, until their retirement. Your mother had passed, or just up and left, days after your 5th birthday, you weren't completely sure, the story kept changing every year. But, these two were the only family you've ever known, ever had, until you joined the military, following in their footsteps.

They'd been so proud when you arrived back after your first assignment, in truth you were heavily traumatized, but seeing them, you just had to smile. Having a family that understood the harsh toll on the line of a trooper, now a lieutenant, it was always easier to bring your troubles to them. But, they were also military nuts so "suck it up" was also a quick go to answer from your aunt, while your father was the smoother talker.

They had met Simon, loved him, his rank, his love for you, his seriousness. They trusted him completely with your heart.

So, when he called them, after the evidence leaked...

They believed him.

"What're you talking about?" You took the handle of the chair in your grip, easing you down into it as your legs do weak at what you were hearing. "I didn't...I didn't do it, Dad."

"Do you know how humiliating and disappointing--how it felt to hear him say that to me, hm?" he says, static crackles on the reciever. "My daughter...my own flesh and blood...working with terrorists--"

"I'm not working with anyone! Are you-" you huff out a breath of disbelief. "Are you even listening to me? I've never betrayed the code. How can you think that way of me?"

For a moment, he's silent. "Alright, then," he began. "Than, what'd you do? huh?"

"What--what..."

"Oh, come on, (Y/n)!" your father yells. "What did you do?! What could they possibly have had on you that made you the most likely target? You had to have had done something, been somewhere, were with somebody you weren't supposed to be with! They didn't just get that information from anywhere."

"What the fuck--" Your expression twists with frustration and misery, running your hand through your hair, pulling at it. "I've sacrificed every part of myself for this job, for this team, what do I have to gain from throwing that all away? They send me everywhere, places you've never heard of, places you'll never hear about and people you'll never have to meet, because of me! Why would you just believe Simon? Why couldn't you just wait to talk to me?!"

Hearing your father scoff at your words was painful. "What reason do I have not to believe him? He knows you, maybe even better than any of us. Besides, he was going to be my son in law--"

"I'm your daughter! Fuck Simon, what about me? You'd believe him instead?"

He sighs. "Listen, you're upsetting Cass. We didn't expect your call. I gotta make this brief..."

"You're upset?" pulling at your hair, sucking in sharply. "I'm the one who's permanently fucking altered here. What do either of you have to be upset about?!"

"Watch your fucking mouth!" he seethes. The anger in his voice isn't new, but the way he spits it at you is. "You did this to yourself, I didn't. Maybe that's what your nightmares were about, am I right? Your guilt?"

Wiping the streaks of tears that had fallen down your face, lips quivering and chest aching with sobs you frustratedly shoved down. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I don't deserve the disgrace that will come with you as my kin, I've lived my part of this war. No daughter of mine should even be in this fucking position," your father spat, disgusted into the receiver. Suddenly, he was the cruel, bitter old man your mother had always known him to be, you wished she had stayed to at least remind you of that. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much. "You should be ashamed of yourself, but at least you got yourself out it. The least you could do for us."

"Well--what does that mean?" you spoke, quietly.

"Don't call again..."

"Dad, no--" you break this time, a sob escaping you.

"Me and your Aunt Cass..."

"Daddy please, don't do this--"

"..We've decided to cut ties. We're not taking any heat from this, you're on your own," he finishes, clearing his throat, waiting a moment, listening to the pleads and cries of his only daughter, his once pride. "You take care of yourself. Goodbye, kid."

"Why can't you just believe me? Why?!" you cried.

"Don't come to the house."

"No, no,--" the line goes dead. And staring down at your phone, his caller id going blank and the call disconnecting.

Your phone all of a sudden feels heavy, the device and your hand falling down to your thigh, before the phone slips out of your grip and onto the floor. You sit there silently, until your tears drop up and even after.

Staring at the photo now was haunting in its own way, it was just another painful reminder.

Using the bed frame to stand to your feet, your grip on the frame is painful as you squeeze it, the glass cracks audibly.

"Bonnie..."

Whipping around at the sound of John MacTavish's voice, you back up a few steps at the sight of him, your back hitting the edge of your desk.

He reaches out as you stumble, before his fingers curl back into his palm as you find your balance, his hands receding back to his sides. He doesn't enter the room, just lingering just beyond the doorway, his eyes flickering around the room, guiltily.

"I didn't know--we didn't know you were out," he speaks quietly, as opposed prideful personality that translated into his voice usually.

You say nothing.

In the dark, your eyes are wide and your shoulders are tensed up, he can see the glint of your leg braces, the iv pole at the side, the scar beneath your eye. You looked terrified to see him.

"We were coming back to clean up today, just got back from...from a mission..." he stutters on his words, shifting his feet.

"It's been a week."

His lips press together hearing your voice. "I know..." Johnny glances around at the room he'd let those officers destroy, it hadn't been them, but they might as well had done it. "I know...we just...didn't know it was so bad."

"Really?" your voice is mockingly sweet, drawing out the word. "You didn't know? Well look..." you hold up your family photo, the light in the hallway catching on the glass. "You missed one."

Your hand dropping, the heavy frame comes down just as fast, ramming into the ground, the glass practically exploding on impact.

Johnny flinches, the photo of your family...He looks back to you, surprised. "Bonnie..."

Snatching the next closest thing from your desk, a ceramic cup. "Oh, wow, can't believe you guys missed this one," you chuck it into the wall. It breaks on impact, the remains scatter along the flipped mattress and onto the floor. "That used to be my favorite mug by the way."

The Scotsman worriedly steps forwards, 'Lass, I'm sorry--"

"FUCK YOU!" you spat, coming into the light. You're sure you look deranged, and you didn't care. You could've wrapped your hands around his throat, killed him right on the floor and you wouldn't have blinked. "It doesn't mean anything! 'I'm sorry', 'I'm sorry', 'I'm sorry', over and over and over again! As if you shouldn't be! Your apologies mean fuck all."

"I know...I know," he breathes. "But, I've gotta say it anyway, bonnie. I should've believed you, there was no reason not to. I know that now. I just--"

"Believe me!" you cut him off with a yell. "Trust me! Fucking 'HELP ME'!" you screamed with the same fever as your days in the interrogation room, that terrible cell, the cold, the burn and pain. "I cried it all to you, to all of you, and nobody came. Nobody came for me," you breathe in sharply. "It doesn't matter what you should've done. You didn't do it!"

Johnny's eyes are red, he opens his mouth, closes it and then swallows down whatever chokes him up as he looks at you. "I should've came for you. I wish I did. I wanted to, Bonnie..." he steps forwards, and you recede back away from him, your eyes narrowed with violence. "I'll never forgive myself for not listening to you. For not coming to help you. For laying a hand on you. I'm so sorry, (Y/n). I'm sorry..."

I'll never forgive myself... "That makes two of us," you assured.

Johnny's eyes widen, before they close, his guilt ever consuming. He can't help but understand, to respect your decision, to know things can never be ok again. "(Y/n)...."

Grabbing hold of the nearest thing, a pencil cup, you hurl it at Johnny. He doesn't put his hands up, flinching as it hits him, the metal clinking against his kevlar, eyes closing then opening, he stands still. "I don't forgive. I don't accept your apology. I don't fucking care about it!" with each sentence you throw something else his way, a broken frame, the trash bin, a pillow, the CD player.

His hand has to come up for the knife you unsheathe, a memento from one of your missions, it's rusted, ancient probably. But, you hadn't given it up to a museum or to pawn, you had nearly died on this mission, saving Johnny ironically. You had to keep it.

Seeing the weapon, his defensive position is instinctive but his hands drop just as fast, he understands, you need this. You deserve this. "If you need to..." he speaks. Your eyes flicker up to him, away from the knife. "If you need to, I get it..."

And you need to. You really fucking do.

Your grip on the knife is dangerously hard, it hurts.

Looking at Johnny, he'd been your brother in more than a few ways on and off the field, he had been your comfort, your friend, your family. You had bled with him, held onto him as he carried you from the battlefield, joked, laughed, screamed and cried. You've loved him for years.

He'd had a rough few nights you could see that. He was quieter, reserved. Almost as terrified to see you, as you had been of him.

And you could kill him right now and never bat an eye.

And so, throwing that knife was so fucking easy.

Johnny's eyes close as you do just that, fists clenching and teeth biting down on his tongue to prepare for the pain.

The ancient weapon whiz's through the air, the sound is sharp and he knows it will cut through him like butter.

The thud rings in the room, and Johnny's eyes blow open wide, holding his breath as he collapses to his knees, before turning to you.

You dig into the pile of clothes that had been cast aside, a pair of sneakers and a new shirt. You don't look at him a single time as you take it all, stuffing them in a bag, and leaving the room, passing him completely, a limp in your step.

Johnny releases a pained breath, tears finally leaving him as he looks up, the knife lodged into the frame of the doorway, just barely missing him. The sleeve of his uniform ripped open.

He sits there in the quiet, destroyed room. A testimony to the relationship he's destroyed between you.

Part 4!! OUT NOW

[sugurizz]

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬 ✧ Feat. JJK MEN

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ── Jjk Men in their -real- Daddy era. (Am I secretly having a baby fever LMAOO)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ── fluffy stuff, pure wholesomeness and affectionate dads.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢

It's safe to say that sometimes you're raising two babies - only one of them is a big buff pouty one.

Daddy Toji sneaks to the kitchen in the middle of the night, leaving you both sleeping in your shared bedroom and then slowly closes the door. He promised himself he'd only take one *unnoticeable* spoon of your newborn's baby formula but ends up stuffing his face with the forbidden powder in the heat of the moment. He tries his best to hide his tracks by shoving the tin somewhere far in the cupboard.

He *oddly* always makes sure to be the one preparing his baby's bottle the next day - 'Oh darling, don'tcha move a muscle...I'll be right back with our baby's breakfast!'

You smile and raise a brow, already suspecting something. Daddy Toji is not much of a morning person. much less when it comes to baby chores...

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

Gojo is always there whenever you change your baby's diaper. He keeps laughing and giggling like a 6 year old, curiously learning from his baby momma how to take care of his little child. His sky blue eyes are staring at your skilled hands, handling your precious little one with infinte care. He keeps smiling in awe, chuckling every time your baby farts and making the funniest faces just to make them giggle.

He takes a million pictures of his baby every day; we're talking his whole camera roll is just his baby's face, cutesy hands, tiny feet, smiling, eating, sleeping on daddy's chest, drooling on his shoulder...the list never ends.

His baby looks so smol when he holds it in his huge hands. He has to bend all the way down just so he could pick them up cause obviously my dude is the tallest man ever.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢

He'd take full care of your newborn just to see you rest and relax. He told you to teach him everything he needs to know so that he'd be perfectly fit for his new -and best ever- occupation; your baby father. He's got however only one pet peeve; getting his little one to burp after feeding them.

The reason? He was doing it once, holding the baby while gently patting its back...until he suddenly felt a warm liquid slithering down his shirt - the expensive one you dearly gifted him on your wedding anniversary- and to his surprise it was none other than his little one's vomit dripping down his shoulder...

Now he makes sure you hold a napkin behind him whenever he does it.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨

He's by far the chillest Daddy EVER. Carries his little one whenever he goes. Gets super jealous when your baby starts calling for you, or wants you to hold them instead of him. He's determined to make them say 'daddy' first, but deep down knows it'd melt his heart when he sees the little version of him utter mommy's name for the first time.

Staying awake at night putting his baby to sleep just so you can get your full nightly rest is something he'd never miss out on. He hates seeing you tired or sleepy and puts both of your needs before anything else.

Daddy Geto is always calm and smiley, no matter how much mess his baby makes or how long it'd take for him to clean it up - sometimes makes you seriously wonder how he manages to be so damn chill all the time.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚

For a husband twice your size with four arms and eyes he sure should take most care of your little offspring - He does tbf - His baby is always laying somewhere on his body or at least near him; sleeping against his chest, nibbling on his thumb, drooling on the side of his shoulder or sitting on his huge lap.

He's got a 6th sense whenever it comes to his baby being hungry, thirsty, sleepy or needing anything at all. Instantly knows the reason why his little one is crying and most of the time is very quick to make them happy again.

Absolutely hates poopie smell and calls them a brat whenever he senses their diaper getting heavier. 'Aggh you little runt!' You can't help laughing at him getting overwhelmed with such a tiny thing and start teasing him over it.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚

There's nothing that Yuuta loves more than children. He has always wanted to have kids and couldn't wait to create his very first and own one with you. He's in LOVE with seeing you taking care of them; almost admiring every move and every word you say. He smiles like an idiot whenever he sees you holding your baby, breastfeeding them, playing with them or even laying next to them.

His favorite game is to hide somewhere in the house and let his little one look for him. He does it so suddenly and quickly, leaving them puzzled with big round eyes - comes out of his hideaway when they start sobbing and laughs at their little red nose and pouty cheeks.

'Aww why is my little cupcake cryiiing?...Daddy's right here!'