#and now its all Ruined
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
having a Night. havent been alone w my thoughts in a while and im not liking it
#usualy i'd make up some stupid story to fall asleep but its not working now#some news was broken to me just now and i dont know how to feel about it#i mean i do#ok incoming vent#hate the idea hate it so so much but its so selfish of me to think that way#and the issues all lie within ME and i just. i cant change now#not w all the work i put into adapting to this place i cant just. pack it all up and leave to go somewhere else#my future was set here man. all i had left was to finish a year and a half more of secondary school n get thru my IGCSEs and i'l be set#yeah i didnt have a specific plan but i had come to terms w a solid general one that i actually really liked#and now its all Ruined#'dw you'll be going to a good school over there too! much better than where ur at now' i dont want to#i cant i just cant#i cant leave my life here now not when im so close to finally getting my freedom#i was supposed to graduate top of my class here i was supposed to excel in my extra curriculars i was supposed to be KNOWN#god does that sound horrible of me but i cant change the way i feel and how ive always felt#i was set man. i couldve gotten that scholarship and gone overseas#i NEED that scholarship or my family wont be able to afford to put my siblings into good schools#but now my progress is gone!#yeah idfk how the school system shit works but i highly doubt some prestigious ass school is gonna care abt shit i did in my current one#yeah i could be wrong but what if man#what then. what the fuck am i supposed to do#and im scared i wont be able to make friends there#fuck im prbly overthinking this n being such a fucking pussy but#i cant. be alone#not again i cant do that shit again#i have my friends here!!!! and theyre alright i like to be around them so why cant i just stay#im just so tired#i just want to sleep#but all i can think about is this#vent
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
494 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate the fact that I let myself get addicted to sh yet again
0 notes
Text
thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
#humans are space orcs#humans in space#earth is a deathworld#earth is space australia#tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag#also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people#write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA#MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage.#especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry#evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally#ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting#after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
KALIM DAY MUAHAHAHAH
#i have been waiting for this day all year#its not even funny#celebrated his bday w a group of twst enjoyers the other day life is good#technically tmr for my time but ill probs draw something then aswell <33#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst#kalim al asim#twst fanart#twst kalim#ANYTHING FOR THIS GUY!!!#RUINED MY LIFE FOR 3 YEARS NOW#HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE#can u believe hes the reason why i got into the game#and hes the reason i stayed#he literally changed my life wtf
540 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so this is almost a direct copy-paste of my earlier reblog but only the Xin Yuan parts, because its long enough to be its own post and i want to share it! It deserves it's own post <3 typical starry stuff to write a 2k word long reblog, unfortunately.
I say almost because I went through to proof read and ended up adding more stuff.
I've been cooking on this idea for the last two days since I saw the Xin Mo!Shen Yuan post but??? I can't find anything on Xin Mo's backstory or how it came to be -- which means that's free fucking plot right there baby. That's a sandbox and im making LIFE SIZED CASTLES. I'm so excited.
The idea of Shen Yuan transmigrating centuries before the events of PIDW as Xin Mo -- but when he wakes up, he's not the sword. He wakes up in the body of a young boy named Xin Yuan. Now it makes sense for this boy to be a demon, but the drama, the intrigue, the spice of Xin Yuan being a human child.
SY wakes up as a boy below the age of ten, and the System tells him where he is, and SY is excited to meet his favorite protagonist -- only to gradually realize that he's like, a thousand years or so before the events of the novel. The rant he gives the system is legendary.
Bc what's the point of getting dropped into PIDW if he's never going to meet his favorite character??? This is a scam! BUT he settles into his new life, he's like, some orphan street rat or some other tragic airplane-esq backstory.
The system gives Shen Yuan his first mandatory quest: become a righteous cultivator. Which was like, kinda his plan/hopes anyways, except! There's like?? No official cultivator sects anywhere? The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect hasn't even been established yet, and there are pockets of cultivators running around, maybe some groups or schools popping up and then sinking back down, but nothing's really taken root!
If he asks someone how to become a cultivator, there's no straight answer. No "oh you can go to X to do that". He's pissed! How can he become a cultivator if there aren't any schools around to teach him? Deus ex machina, that's how.
Out of sheer luck, SY manages to help save a rogue cultivator, and promptly gets adopted by said rogue cultivator, who gives SY the name 'Xin Yuan'. He is ecstatic. And you know what? It's actually pretty fun!
He's getting to travel the world of PIDW in its early stages, and gets to see the building blocks for the eventual main story. He's discovering all this local flora and fauna that are foreign to his old world and unmentioned in the book, and he's learning cultivation! Granted, its unsafe, newly(ish) discovered cultivation, but it counts!
Wistfully, he thinks about perhaps he'll do something grand and get his name carved into legend. Something that would eventually help the protagonist later down the line in his quest for revenge.
The system remains silent to his thoughts.
But Xin Yuan doesn't take much stock in that daydream anyways. It's nothing more than fantasy to him; wish-fulfillment. He does discover however, that he is positively brimming with spiritual energy. Overwhelmingly so.
It's both a blessing and a curse, as it puts a strain on his meridians if he's not careful, and leaves him prone to qi deviations for the exact same reasons. He already has a heart demon or two from a few traumatic experiences in the past.
(bc hey! angst a day keeps the writer sadism at bay, and all that)
I'll say he's about... eight when he gets picked up by the rogue cultivator, who I'm calling Lin Kai bc he deserves a name. They travel around PIDW up until Xin Yuan is twelve, where he goes through a traumatic experience that results in a heart demon.
It's after that that Lin Kai decides to put a stop to his wandering, and find a place to settle down to raise Xin Yuan in. Coincidentally! They settle down in a nice mountain region that's thriving with spiritual energy. The mountains at the time were called something different, but they will be eventually known as the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect
Coincidentally, the mountain Lin Kai and Xin Yuan end up on is Qing Jing Peak. XY does not realize that the mountain he's on is Qing Jing. The System does not tell him. But he likes it there, more than he was expecting. And as much as he's traveled around, he really does enjoy being in one place.
He has a tendency to go down the mountain and help the village setting up down there, and when he's a teenager he starts venturing out more and more.
Xin Yuan forgets sometimes that he's in a novel, especially after settling down on Qing Jing peak. The system becomes remarkably quiet since there's no quests for him to do and not a ton of opportunities to get B-Points. He cultivates with Lin Kai, helps tend to the garden they're growing, goes down to the village to play with the other kids.
There's one boy he's best friends with, a boy whose not all that good with words, named Liu Zhihao. He's got potential for cultivation though, so Xin Yuan drags him up the mountain when he can so that Liu Zhihao can sit in on lessons with Lin Kai. He drags him all over the forest at the foot of the mountain to go look at bugs and animals.
(One time, when they're fourteen and Liu Zhihao has been learning cultivation for a few years now, Xin Yuan drags him out of bed late one night to go look at the stars. Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao about ascension -- something that still feels like a far off dream to many in this time -- that night, while they're sitting on the wet grass.)
("We should ascend together." Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao, jade eyes gleaming. Never let it be said that Xin Yuan doesn't love deeply, no matter what kind of love it is. He was always so lonely as Shen Yuan, Liu Zhihao is his best friend. "We'll become immortals, and then we won't ascend until the other is able to.")
(Liu Zhihao stares at him silently, his face unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks; "Promise?")
("Promise.")
When he starts adventuring outwards, further away from the mountain and the village, Liu Zhihao sticks to him like rice. Not that Xin Yuan's complaining, that's his best friend after all, and Liu Zhihao has become a formidable cultivator. He deserves to show off his skills.
He starts making something of a name for himself by the time he's, like, 18 -- although that name is in its baby steps, along with Liu Zhihao. They're slowly growing renown.
Perhaps XY uses his knowledge of PIDW and cultivation in general to help make advancements in the cultivation field. Although the system prevents him from sharing too much, it doesn't mean he can't practice it himself. Perhaps he's one of the first cultivators to develop a golden core. One of the first known immortal cultivators. One of the first to have a spirit sword.
(Although I don't know the logistics of any of this since my knowledge on xanxia/cultivation stuff in general is all still pretty new and google wasn't all that helpful lol.)
Either way, its my excuse to eventually make Xin Yuan come across as ethereal to other people. Peerless beauty SY for the win. Hs wifebeam is too strong, Xin Yuan has a line of suitors following after him and he's completely unaware of it. The rest of history is not.
Demon realm stuff has been stirring up since Xin Yuan was a kid, but at the time it was rare and in the beginning stages. Its been steadily ramping up and the system is sending him on more and more treacherous quests -- some of them mandatory, some optional. SY doesn't often take the optional ones unless it comes with a sufficient B-point reward.
for all intents and purposes though, he's a wandering rogue cultivator with Liu Zhihao, going from place to place to either help a town or village, or to discover more creatures or artifacts (although there aren't that many). Just all around living his life. He participates in a few major quest lines that are sure to get him mentioned in legend, even if it's a background character way.
(Unbeknownst to him, rather than being a side character in these legends, he's named directly. You can't become one of the first immortal cultivators and NOT get name dropped for clout.)
He has a spirit sword named Shā Mó, (杀 shā - to kill/weaken/counteract/reduce) (魔 mó - evil spirit, demon, possession). He routinely goes back to QJP to see Lin Kai, or to rest when traveling has worn down on him and he wants nothing more than to sleep somewhere he knows he'll be safe in. It becomes more frequent as Xin Yuan becomes more famous. Liu Zhihao often comes with him.
it all comes to a head though when the rifts between the demonic realm and the human realm become too great, and the balance between both realms becomes unstable. A demonic emperor's influence, wanting to merge the two realms so he could conquer both to satiate his own greed.
Typical evil king stuff. This comes to a climatic head in a great battle between every cultivator available and the demon emperor's army. Xin Yuan was one of the many who helped lead the charge.
In the end, it was Xin Yuan who ends up defeating the demonic emperor, but the rift that the emperor used to cross between worlds is destabilizing as well. Except instead of trying to close, it's getting bigger and bigger, threatening to swallow the heavens and earth and demonic realm whole.
You know how Yue Qingyuan's soul is bonded to his sword due to a qi deviation? Let's take it a step further >:)
Xin Yuan uses himself and Shā Mó to close the rift. However, it takes all of his spiritual energy to do so, as well as him filtering the demonic qi into his body to redirect it back to the demon realm.
In the end, Xin Yuan and his beloved sword Shā Mó fuse. Xin Yuan's soul becomes trapped in the sword. His physical body is unable to handle the immense amount of power it takes to close the rift, and is destroyed. He is immortalized in legend by his grieving cultivators.
(Liu Zhihao ends up ascending alone. He ascends with the hope that one day he'll see Xin Yuan again, even if it's in the face of someone else. Lin Kai does not ascend, too weighed down by the grief of losing his son.)
Xin Yuan, now Xin Mo, falls into a stasis. He's very confused and disorientated when he regains 'consciousness'. The system has been silent for most of his life, only popping up to give him mandatory quests, hints, points, or to answer any questions.
But once he wakes up, it cheerfully pops up again, congratulating him on completing the origin story of Xin Mo. SY freaks the fuck out. he'd shake the system screen if he could, but he doesn't have arms. or legs. or eyes for that matter.
He can sense his surroundings, but its all like imprints to him. He can sense the energies, but he can't see anything. It's all very disorientating and horrifying after years of being human. Like a sensory deprivation chamber.
The closing of the rift and the cycling demonic qi tainted both Sha Mo and Xin Yuan irreparably, and it did some kind of damage that resulted in SY needing to feed in order to use the spiritual powers. Kinda like how Xuan Su uses YQY's life force for it's spiritual energy, but instead of feeding on his own lifeforce, Xin Mo feeds on others.
The rest is history. Xin Mo is originally tied to the story of Xin Yuan -- believed to be all that remained of the man after he sacrificed himself to keep the realms separate. It's believed that the force of the realms closing permanently infused Sha Mo with demonic energy, turning it into Xin Mo.
But, like many stories do when faced against the tide of time, things get lost; chipped off; changed. Xin Mo is steadily separated from Xin Yuan, especially once it becomes clear how parasitic the sword really is, until they are all but separate entities themselves and the origin of Xin Mo's creation all but forgotten.
The years blur together when Xin Mo is not being wielded, and at first Xin Yuan was agonized by the fact that he stole the lives of all his wielders. He knows it's only a novel, but his decades spent in this life have softened him, and he's grown attached to the world around him.
But time erodes the mind like water erodes stone, and he becomes numb to it, then eventually anticipating of it. He forces himself to remember what he knows of PIDW's plot, and kinda fixates back on his old obsession on Luo Binghe. But while PIDW stays in his mind, his memories as Xin Yuan fall to the wayside.
Not forgotten, per se, but... tucked away. The system prevents him from forgetting fully.
Xin Mo isn't fully a demonic sword either i think, but instead harbors an ugly cocktail of both spiritual and demonic qi. Special circumstances and all that. Everyone just assumes he's a fully demonic sword because that's usually at the forefront, his spiritual qi weakened from the initial fusion and from years of not being fed spiritual qi. It's part of the reason his wielders always end up destroyed by him, other than the whole, yk, 'overwhelming qi' thing.
Nobody would recognize Xin Mo's human form as Xin Yuan other than some truly ancient demons. Of which Meng Mo might. But even that's iffy because there's a lack of surviving paintings of Xin Yuan, but also because of XM's demonic appearance and supposed lack of connection to XY.
Xin Mo has never spoken to his wielders before, not in the same way he does Luo Binghe. He tells Luo Binghe this, and he also tells Luo Binghe down the line that he is both spiritual and demonic -- something he also never told his wielders because there was no point to it.
okay okay i've got to end it here because its already gotten ridiculously long -- of which im both apologetic and unapologetic for -- but i DO think the Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meeting (and reveal) would be fucking hilarious. Especially if SY has learned how to pop between sword form and human form by then -- although i guess it doesnt matter either way because SQH's reaction is still the same.
And that reaction is internally screaming and going "hey what the FUCK?? WHY DOES XIN MO HAVE A HUMAN FORM??? WHAT IS THIS??? SYSTEM??? EXPLAIN???"
meanwhile from his place on the sword hilt xin mo is squinting at Shang Qinghua in bewilderment and going "aren't you supposed to be dead" but doesn't pay too much mind to it because its not like its going to change anything.
...up until he catches shang qinghua going "WTF" silently from his little corner while all eyes are off him. One moment SQH is standing beside his king, and the next he's been tackled to the ground by one wild-eyed, human-shaped Xin Mo.
everyone, including SQH, thinks Xin Mo is going to kill him. It is a surprise to everyone when he does not, and instead dissolves into deranged, uncontrollable laughter after spitting out some phrase in some ancient tongue and watching SQH's eyes grow wide in recognition.
#svsss au#svsss#scum villain au#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#liu zhihao is indeed based off liu qingge. i am a multishipper at heart and liushen is a delicious ship. XY and LZ i think were very devote#to each other regardless of if it was romantic or platonic. they're besties! and im a sucker for devotion in all aspects. its neat :)#XM eventually tells LBH about how he used to be human once and he tells him about his Xiao Zhi. and that he hopes Xiao Zhi was able to reac#ascension in his absence. LBH silently seethes with jealousy and abandonment issues a mile wide. he asks XM if he misses him. XM gets this#unreadable distant look on his face that makes him look far more mortal than is comfortable. then he mutters 'yes.' LBH hates it#Cang Qiong sect gets miraculously spared by Luo Binghe on account of 'my demonic sword grew up here and he'd be upset if i ruined it'#does LZH look like LQG? ...i want to say yes bc itd be crime to derive SY of LQG's beauty even if he never knows what LQG looks like#imagine XM as human coming to clash with YQY. he takes one look at YQY. then at Xuan Su. before going 'we're alike. you and i.'#rip SQH. executed for the crime of *checks scroll* making XM laugh before Binghe could. making XM laugh at all actually#XM is usually very reserved and restrained but for the first time in a thousand years he's met someone just like him. the emotional rush#is intense. SQH asks him later how long he's been Xin Mo. expecting like. at LEAST a few years now or after him but then XM blinks at him#and then mutters something about how he's lost track of time. oh hey btw what year it is??? he forgot to ask. SQH tells him and Xin Mo says#'oh! about a thousand years now' 'WHAT' and XM tells him about being Xin Yuan which SQH was not expecting. whether thats because#he genuinely wasnt expecting it or it was part of his outline or an idea he messed around with and didnt expect to make it into the world#SQH tells him about the legend of Xin Yuan. XM is stunned. he asks about Liu Zhihao. LZH made it into legend too. which XM is very#pleased by. 'good. he deserves it for all the hard work he put in.'
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
"are you asking me or making me?" is soooooo interesting to me because i think armand only asks it when he can't gauge whether he's letting louis down. it's barely even sexual - it's a hail mary. it's a show of trust, indirectly admitting that he wants to do something other than what louis expects of him, but that he's willing to obey louis anyway, for the sake of their relationship. it's sort of heartbreaking watching them at the sacré-cœur, because if louis had said "i'm making you" armand would've done it in a heartbeat. he would've taken it as a show of committment on louis' part, and he wouldn't have betrayed him. but louis takes the question just as an expression of disagreement, and so he doesn't play the game. ironically, he respects armand's independence too much to make him turn madeleine if he doesn't want to. and so armand isn't convinced of louis' commitment to him, and he betrays him.
and by the time we see them in san fransisco, louis knows what the question means now, and answers "no, arun, i'm not asking" without question. and armand accepts it without complaint, even as it pains him. companionship really is the most important thing in the world to armand, just like it is for lestat, and he's willing to do any number of horrible things to louis and himself just to keep him as a companion, just like lestat. louis' biggest mistake is not realising how to use that to his advantage sooner.
edit: HELP people are reblogging this again. i misremembered the context of the scene - louis is asking armand to witness the turning, not do it himself. still, if armand had gone along to witness, that would have 100% been taken as implicit permission for louis to turn madeleine (thereby adhering to the first of the great laws) and, in essence, "agreeing" with her turning where before he ordered claudia to drive madeleine out of town. this hypocrisy, and the further bending of the rules for louis' sake (he's given permission to turn a mortal despite neither of them being in the coven), would have been seen by the coven as betrayal. armand knows this; he doesn't think madeleiene should be turned for these reasons; that's why he asks, "are you asking me or making me?"
still. if louis had said "i'm making you" i think armand would've gone along to witness, implicitly giving his permissing for madeleine to be turned and functionally changing his allegiance from the coven to louis once and for all. so the core point of the post still stands.
#iwtv#loumand#thunder rambles#it really makes me hysterical because louis just wants to fuck around and find himself now here come exclusivity and#amatanormativity to ruin it all. move‼‼#i havent known peace since i saw that reddit post calling lestat's behaviour in s1 'jobless behaviour'. all the vampires really hate louis#for having friends and hobbies and theyre gonna make it his problem if it kills them#anyway yeah. i really really believe this. armand knew he had a loose grip on louis at best#and i think he never wouldve sold louis out if louis had made him turn madeleine. ironically#louis' biggest crime is uhhh respecting armand's disagreement with him. and having a life outside of him (claudia and madeleine)#that he wants to flourish#its so sad though because its all in service of ruining the family dynamic anyway#louis is feeling the walls closing in on him and claudia and so he elects to let her go n for claudia to have her trad 1-on-1 companionship#with madeleine#and after this he intends to commit to armand in much the same way.#its sad because how are the only two options 'monogamous partnership' and 'coven cult'.#louis should be able to have his sister-daughter-throw pillow AND his daughter-creation-in-law#AND fuck anyone and everyone he wants AND maintain very sincere connections to other vampires without it necessiatating#a companionship#the true villain of iwtv is the lack of relationship anarchy you heard it here first folks#interview with the vampire
155 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy april fools here's a dumbass drawing i never finished
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#ruin eclipse#yes they r in the magnet pose. and yes thats vital information#i thought it would be funny to have them not look at each other at all. unfortunately i got very bored with drawing the other hand#iirc i drew this around the end of last year? so its a few months old by now#anyway did u know there's gonna be a solar eclipse this month? this isnt even a prank you can look this up rn. april 8th solar eclipse. wow.#bw eclipse#eclipse
243 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's Team Erza’s turn for the Friendship Sleep Pile
Whoever laid down first is a mystery. Lucy's bed probably shouldn't be this large, but that's the magic of friendship.
#fairy tail#htryds#team erza#they don't have an official name but they're a team now whoops#aka team galuna accidentally made us a team#lucy heartfilia#erza scarlet#jellal fernandes#gray fullbuster#pencil's art tag#they never got the nap they deserved after galuna#but this is probably after some other mundane job#yes they all painted each others nails before this#let them be domestic I say#jerza if you squint#but its all platonic in nature here#jellal and erza can sleep bonelessly anywhere#tower side effect that works well for mage work and sleep piles#gray and lucy are just adapting quickly#also shoutout to the discord for enabling me to give gray hot pink nails#he shall rock them until he inevitably ruins them with fighting
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
My personal headcanon for Bonnie is that he's basically just Dan from Ninja Sex Party
None of you can change my mind
#ive literally been listening to NSP and Starbomb all day because of this#this is now the ONLY way i can imagine glamrock bonnie#its SO funny#fnaf security breach#ruin dlc spoilers#ruin spoilers#security breach ruin#ruin dlc#fnaf ruin#glamrock animatronics#glamrock bonnie#glamrock freddy#glamrock chica#roxanne wolf#montgomery gator#fnaf sb#fanart#shitpost#ninja sex party#nsp#danny sexbang#bonnie sexbang#its canon#in my heart
740 notes
·
View notes
Text
ᕤ 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 ᕦ
hi everyone, I come with a heavy heart today. this has been something that has been thought about multiple times now, but I have officially decided that it is time that I retire from enhablr. when I first came here, it was a fun and safe place I could escape to; however, the longer that I was here, the more toxic and not so fun it became. from everything that went down this past summer to all of the bullying to now with everyone at each other's necks because of the ai thing it's just not a place that I feel comfortable in anymore.
I love each and every one of my enha readers and moots that I have met and interacted with while I've been here. you guys have made this experience all the more bearable, but it is now my time to say goodbye.
my plans going forward are pretty simple, I don't plan on making an entirely new blog because that would be far too much work and would get exhausting trying to explain to everyone. I plan on changing my username and will be writing strictly for ateez now. I will be leaving my enha fics up because I know a lot of people enjoyed them, but going forward, I will NOT be writing for enha anymore. there might be a day that I come back, but for right now, this chapter has finally closed, and it is now to start a new one.
with all this being said, my whole page will undergo a full revamp. I will be deleting my enha perm. taglist, as well as any wips that I had posted. while I'm converting everything, my page might get a little messed up, so please bear with me. I won't change my username until I have everything else in place. then, when I do change my username, I will probably make another post.
thank you to EVERYONE who has tagged along in the journey with me. I appreciate you all so much. I hope that you all will continue to follow me on this journey, but if not, then I completely understand and wish you all the best. I love you all so much and will forever hold each and every one of you in my heart.
but for now, alvojake is signing off, and maybe one day we will meet again, until, then, farewell, and I hope you all do well now and in the future.
sincerely, - kayla (aka @/alvojake)
p.s. I will tag a few of my moots just so I know that they are aware. if anyone has any questions, please feel free to reach out. my inbox will still be open during this transition!!
tagging : @hollyoongs @yeonzzzn @enha-stars @addictedtohobi @ak4e7a @heeslomll @intromortal @dollyyun @kitten4sannie @simpjaes @minhosimthings @chlorinecake @naomiarai @ikeuverse @fakeuwus @fairyseungs
#. . . 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓#this has been a long time coming I'm ngl#I have slowly drifted away from enha for a few months now#but this fandom has ruined my bond with them#people are just mean and spiteful#its sad but this is for my own peace#this has gotten so bad that I even dropped my Jake collecting#maybe one day I'll come back#but for now#this is the end of alvojake#it was fun while it lasted#and thank you for joining me#I love you all#mwah#<33333
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
I started doodling greek gods, it's over for me. I have to accept that I'm officially addicted to epic the musical
#doodle dump#epic the musical#athena#4 years.... 4 years only doodling random stfuff#now look at me drawing again#this one is only sketch BUT I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK ON SOMETHING???#2019 dorothy is back lord have mercy on me#going back to drawing made me remember how much I hate painting#Im working on something that look almost exactly as I pictured BUT I CANT PAINT FOR SHIT#I just know the second i put some colors it will ruin the drawing#maybe I should turn all my works on coloring book typa shit so other people can paint for me lol#went in a long rant about something unrelated to the doodle aint that amazing#btw this is my first time drawing an owl and im actually proud#(also unrelated but GOD have i missed posting random shit and then going onto long rants on the tags)#back to epic the musical: sometimes I'll be listening to some song and just think “wow i could do a funny comic about this-”#LIKE HOW TF AM I BACK TO THIS?? ITS HAMILTON ALL OVER AGAIN I NEED REHAB CALL THE POLICE CALL THE CHURCH CALL MY THERAPIST
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mephone4#dare i maintag this. watever#like taco haters r obsessed with the idea that taco is ruining herself worse and dragging everyone down with her#when shes literally just doing the challenge mephone created and even changes her intentions on hosting the challenge partway through#bc shes REALIZING how badly everyones been affected by the show just as she was#and she uses the attention she now has and urges them to leave and escape because she doesnt want anyone to end up like her#she believes shes past saving Yes#but thats exactly why shes trying to help the others avoid getting to the extent shes gone#meanwhile even when getting his wrongdoings slapped in his face mephone doubles down bc thats all he knows#thats all he feels safe with. he cant let himself trust and be vulnerable and its ruining his life and all his relationships along with him#it says SO MUCH about both mephones and tacos arcs that MEPAD. the one whos been inseparable to mephone from the Start#is seeing more hope of improvement in TACO than mephone#taco the infamous villain to everyone since s1. since before mepad was ever conscious#if anything mephone is the one ruining himself in denial and hurting others in the process#and im not saying that to vilify mephone either !!!! before you 0 nuance bitches come in#if it wasnt obvious from my entire page i LOVE mephone and i LOVE where theyre taking his character. make that man Worse ❤️#but i feel like so many ppl are just projecting mephones arc onto taco bc they dont wanna admit mephone has Issues
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Before an after.
How do you create one of the worse sequels I have ever seen? Welp, Love Never Dies is probably the perfect example. I could rant for hours about that.
I think my relationship with it is the purest form of a love-hate relationship, as it's so bad it's almost funny. If anyone wants to know, shoot me an ask, and I will explain whyyyyyyy
*takes breath*
Anyway, I drew Nightmare in the Red Death Outfit from the Masquerade scene, and ohhhhhh, I love ittttt. Yet another outfit that the movie didn't do justice, seeing it on stage was fantastic!! And it's actually a reference to another book called "The Masquerade of the Red Death" and it is essentially a huge FU to everyone at the party.
I'm gonna say it againnn anyone who's a fan of the movie should listen to the 25th anniversary sound track, my poor gf has had to listen to me rambling about it lol.
Original cross jakei95
Original Dream and Nightmare by jokublog
Crossover is by me
And @zu-is-here you asked me to tag you, here you go!
#undertale au#my art#undertale multiverse#shipping#sansest#cross x dream#dream x cross#sanscest#so in this sequel#they not only ruined the characters of all 3 leads#but utterly recked the story of the original#turned the story about death and love and manipulation into a lame love triangle#need i remind you that eric was only a love intrest till half way though thr original play#from that point onwards he was rhe villain#and roual no#look how they massacred my boy#the sweet and loveing man who practically begged christen to let him die and save himself#oh hes an alcoholic now cuz that makes sense#this story was all because Andrew Loid Webber was self inserting himself hard into eric#and once you notice it its so obvious that is all it is#dont even get my started on meg everything about the twist with meg ruins the ending kfnthe original#dreammare#the phantom of the opera cross over#cross over#the slap fight is mostly a joke#but if anyone has watched devil take the hindmost then youll know this is the exact vibe it gives off#also i wanna clarify that there is nothing wrongggg with liking it#like its very much a fanfiction#no denying its flaws but if you wanted Christine to ens up with phantom here you go
202 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cursed au where before transmigration shen yuan was OBSESSED with tomodachi life and miitopia with luo binghe as the primary mii that he spoiled to death. He didn't use any QR codes, this binghe mii is crafted by his own two hands with PERFECTION. And no!!! He's not sharing his QR code on the forums!!!
#in tomodachi life he would simply fail or ruin all the confession scenes when other miis would try to get with the binghe mii.#its obvsy cuz he cant decide which is the best mii to match up with!!! no other reason.#not sure if sy would make a mii of himself#but if he did he would “accidentally” level up the relationship meter to max level in miitopia and get the “soulmates” title and freak out.#bad sy!mii!!! banned to room with the airplane mii that literally has an airplane for a face!!!#when he transmigrates into sqq amd keeps accidnetally experimenting to see what foods lbh likes like he's a mii in tomodachi life lmaooooo#do you see the vision?? the weird parasocial nature of miis????#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#throwaway post#now i wanna replay these stupid little mii games😭😭
61 notes
·
View notes