#but now my progress is gone!
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having a Night. havent been alone w my thoughts in a while and im not liking it
#usualy i'd make up some stupid story to fall asleep but its not working now#some news was broken to me just now and i dont know how to feel about it#i mean i do#ok incoming vent#hate the idea hate it so so much but its so selfish of me to think that way#and the issues all lie within ME and i just. i cant change now#not w all the work i put into adapting to this place i cant just. pack it all up and leave to go somewhere else#my future was set here man. all i had left was to finish a year and a half more of secondary school n get thru my IGCSEs and i'l be set#yeah i didnt have a specific plan but i had come to terms w a solid general one that i actually really liked#and now its all Ruined#'dw you'll be going to a good school over there too! much better than where ur at now' i dont want to#i cant i just cant#i cant leave my life here now not when im so close to finally getting my freedom#i was supposed to graduate top of my class here i was supposed to excel in my extra curriculars i was supposed to be KNOWN#god does that sound horrible of me but i cant change the way i feel and how ive always felt#i was set man. i couldve gotten that scholarship and gone overseas#i NEED that scholarship or my family wont be able to afford to put my siblings into good schools#but now my progress is gone!#yeah idfk how the school system shit works but i highly doubt some prestigious ass school is gonna care abt shit i did in my current one#yeah i could be wrong but what if man#what then. what the fuck am i supposed to do#and im scared i wont be able to make friends there#fuck im prbly overthinking this n being such a fucking pussy but#i cant. be alone#not again i cant do that shit again#i have my friends here!!!! and theyre alright i like to be around them so why cant i just stay#im just so tired#i just want to sleep#but all i can think about is this#vent
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I am alone in the three-part folding mirror on the bathroom door
#lucabyteart#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat mal du pays#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#in stars and time#isat#tw gore#tw blood#cw gore#anyway just avin a giggle tho innit. wanted to make something to overpaint in rebelle again to play with the textures#yes i did make this w the express intent of linking the goofy-ass song. it literally says 'too clever by half' in it !#i wouldn'tve gone so gross and gory with it if i WASNT linking a silly song. we have fun here etc etc#anyway can u believe this is my first time drawing mal du pays? sorry you horrid little thing but i just havent had reason to up til now#anyway read into this piece whatever you like. i was mostly just playing a game of entangling limbs and making it confusing#i have some thoughts but ✨ ill never tell#what i MIGHT tell is some of the process for this since bc i moved between 2 art programs to make it it does have some decent like#progress shots saved effectively on accident. so like idk someone throw me an ask and ill just throw them all in there somewhere#i had no idea where this piece was gonna end up when i started it so the process is like. not my usual process at allll
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ad astra per aspera
do do do do dooo doing the tumblr thing where I ramble about the thing that I made either in the tags or under the post. in this case I believe I will be doing both.
I find it a bit unfortunate with pieces like this that I've either workshopped for months or have thought about way too hard, how I end up having nothing to say about them at the end. someone explain that to me, or don't. that's cool too.
I made an alternate version where he's getting dragged down by bill hands because that's:
a) sick as hell
b) somewhat plot relevant
someone tell me if I should post that or not. is that cool or am I insane. I feel like I could've done more but what I've ended up with is satisfactory for me so I'll move on now. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
#gravity falls#art#ford pines#digital art#stanford pines#fanart#illustration#hmm what else should I say about this.#alright no that's it I have nothing else#you know I got put on zoloft and it made me a bit insane but at least my art has gone hard the last month#I'm fine now just for reference#my psych started me on something else. we'll see how it goes.#maybe this one will be better and then I'll make happy ford pines art.#also#bill cipher#if you squint#something something the road to hell is paved with good intentions#in this case the good intentions were the progression of knowledge#quite unfortunate but that's how it panned out.#what an unfortunate little specimen this guy is#someone needs to out this guy under a microscope and figure out what the hell is wrong with him
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Would
(go to one of his theatrical broadway-wannabe concerts or perhaps a late night gameshow comedy hour sketch performance. I’m not too picky I’d be willing to pay money just to see him perform anything period)
Yea I felt like doing something silly in order to break away from the dread of finals week coming up. What can I say? I’m a professional procrastinator. But man oh man it was a good call this time around—I mean just look as this scrumptious masterpiece right here. Time well spent for sure. Genuinely I believe to have cooked with it chat /j
This is a version without the added stars by the way. And the second one is obviously just raw image reference/the original “bereal concert meme” source. I was very tempted to put Puzzles in that same exact outfit—however I decided it would be overly time consuming to make two separate versions. Maybe once finals are over I’ll be able to do that :)
#Obviously the abrupt ‘would’ was only referring to watching him not alluding to anything else don’t read into subtext or innuendos teehee#I’ve officially gone bananas over this pathetic twink#what does this say about me? honestly I’m still trying to figure that one out chief#are the rumors about me listening to Billie Eilish’s ‘Lunch’ continuously while drawing this true? I won’t tell :)#sorry once again I find myself in the delicate situation of wondering if I want to be that man or if I want to be with him#or if I simply wanna admire him from afar and cheer him on like the rabid fan/stan I have become#all the questions running rampant in the mind of an aroace who somehow wound up with this fruity man as a comfort character#ladies and gentlemen welcome to the mind fuck (cue the song ‘Mind Brand’) /j#….sorry I think I’m getting progressively less coherent with these tags every time I post lmfao help#it’s just so fun writing whatever nonsense comes into my mind first#smg4 bereal concert meme#mr puzzles bereal concert meme#bereal concert meme but Mr. Puzzles smg4#bereal concert meme mr puzzles#yea okay think we are in the clear with all the oddly specific tags—now time to see if my art finally makes it to Google images lol#hplonesome art
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AFTER A MILDLY INTENSE WEEK OR SO OF DRAWING THIS MAN LIKE TEN TIMES A DAY. I HAVE FINALLY GOT THIS YELLOW ASSHOLE TO 1000 IMAGES.
more road to 1000 doodles under the cut !!
#long ramble after the maintags if you wanna read my thoughts#yellow addison#deltarune oc#addison oc#deltarune addisons#addisons#oc#art#so for those unaware i have had sale for three(3) years now. i made him back in october 2021.#i have gone through a lot of phases having this man. between hating him . using him as a scapegoat . and his progression into .#one of my most important and beloved characters ive ever owned#ive been very fond of my own characters before. of course i have im an artist#but sale is like.#hes Different.#he means so much to me. even if i um. may or may not put him through the meat grinder for enrichment like all the damn time#over the last few years he has developed a lot as a character. i have drawn and written him Literal hundreds of times#radio and i have more aus than i can count where hes significant#he has suffered. so much. he has recovered . he has gone through so much and he keeps living and he keeps living and#i love him. i love him. he means so much to me.#so yeah. 1000 images. a testament to how autistic i am about this asshole. i love him.#heres to me drawing him a billion more times i fucking guess#and happy new year. thanks for reading this ramble if you did#casinos ocs: sale#casinos sonas: Ye01#casinos art :]#sale's road to 1000
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I really be thinking things like "Scars are generally cool and beautiful and hot and I love them. Except for mine, of course, mine are objectively hideous." daily reminder to sniff out your "positive when others, negative when myself" double standards.
#I think my relationship with my scars has gone from “hatred hatred hatred” to “complicated" so that's progress#context: severe and I mean SEVERE acne scars. I had like nuclear grade Dr. Pimple Popper skin issues as a lad#now my torso looks like somebody carpet bombed a prairie#and I'm realizing like. ok YOU think it's shameful and embarassing. but on somebody else you'd think they were cool and interesting. so#like if I could do away with 'em easily and for free I would. I have no attachment to them like I don't think they “make me me.” but like#I don't think they're hideous anymore. like “fuck mainstream beauty standards” should apply here yk#don't say mean things to yourself you'd never say to another person and be disgusted if a third party said it to them#my skin is super fucked up and odd looking no doubt but. ok so what it's visually interesting at least.#and I'll never be the weirdest-looking guy at any beach or water park anyway and if people stare THEY'RE the assholes. yk#I wouldn't stare at someone who looked like me. that would be fucked up. so why would I care what fucked-up starers think of me#“your boos mean nothing to me I've seen what makes you cheer” type stuff lol
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you know. i was also really worried i would come out of this like deeply resenting my parents or something like that but i think doing this made my own relationship with them a lot better in a weird way. their reaction made me feel like i understood them better than before
#z.gen#sorry i really am oversharing SO much LMFAO#but like. idk. it feels like all the effort ive poured into healing myself has finally bore fruit#it feels like the last piece of the puzzle for me#i try to practice as much humility as possible and keep to myself since i dont want to idk. spoil any progress by jumping ship rip#but all the time and effort and self reflection and coping just finally stuck. i understood why it wasnt working and i needed a reason#i need something to work towards and not limiting myself means i have that now. i can live my life now peacefully#shit is so beautiful like life feels so whole and complete#ive gone through such horrible shit but this was like. the last thing#and shit bru ive been through A LOTTTT for me to be saying this like shit is rlly sweet LMFAOOO#maybe ill buy some wine on wednesday and kick back
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Like a week ago someone sent me an ask requesting I rank the Seb VAs/actors and I started going hard with it, but it’s been so long that maybe I should just answer without the big explanation for each lol? Sorry anon
#the Coattails hyperfixation has me#it’s the only thing I wanna write till it’s DONE#which also means I haven’t been answering Coattails comments so sorry to the two people waiting 😬#progress slowed a bit because I rewrote an entire scene twice so that’s 2.3k gone#but it was necessary. the scene is much more solid now 👍#I always tear my hair out over the emotional moments for some reason. I can do angst fine#and then they have to get mushy and suddenly the line between comfort and cringe looks razor thin#anyway happy tuesday
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THIS MONTH HAS BEEN AWFUL FOR ME TO SAY THE LEAST IM GOING TO DO A LOT OF ART TO MAKE UP FOR IT (I also will not be in artfight because I’m trying to survive atm 😭 but look out for me next year!) LOVE U ALL
#pride stuff MIGHT leak into july (it will)#and the comics are in progress#I’ve been extremely broke#trying to get shit off adobe programs#I had a few family emergencies and my own medical issues#it’s been rough#but I’m really trying#my class has also been a struggle#I’m ok btw! don’t worry abt me I’ll get through stuff like I always do#just really want everyone 2 know I love u all dearly and love pride month I just keep getting#my ass kicked#it is concave now can I get a break#just vine booms for every fucked up thing that’s gone on in my life this month 😭#mooing
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wip
#zeno's art#ultimate x-calibur#wip#optico#nova starbridge#paro chroneko#dj v con#clyde blacktooth#hrm.... you lot are looking a lot more geometric than usual....#paro stands out amongst all these spikeys ive gotta round out nova a bit more#but yea here are the new designs! once again less of an overhaul and more of a natural progression as theyve developed with my style#let me explain some design stuff :#here in this new rewrite of the story optico is actually a star sailor AI#programmed to take the nimbasa galahad students to the academy dome (which orbits merlienete)#and so has floaty hands to use the control panel . he can “summon” more hands or just go without them#nova is basically unchanged but her hair has been a little altered so she doesnt have that middle part thingy#(it was hard to draw)#and also her second ahoge is gone#paro is more circular and has a longsleeve undershirt now#his bag is hammerspace and can carry huge tools!#vcon is also mostly unchanged but now has starfish stuck to his pants#because i thought itd be funny if her pants were so long that stuff got stuck to them#clyde is the only one 100% unchanged save for hair#alright im sleepy
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i think growing up i fantasized a lot about being loved and adored but i think for me it is getting to love and adore people that's infinitely more exciting and interesting
#other people are really interesting!#seeing myself reflected back in other people's love for me is a lot less interesting and surprising like i've seen enough of that guy#feeling very anti-jo march 2019 i guess i care more to love than to be loved#it feels really tied to my progression with gender and sexuality stuff too tbh#my previous sort of insatiable desire to be liked/loved really fed into the urge to suppress parts of myself that i felt were unpalatable#now that i give myself unconditional love and acceptance that suppressive urge is gone#and i unexpectedly have a lot more energy and care to spend on other people#sorry for being corny#it's just nice i'm happy to be here#personal nonsense
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#ao3#ao3 attack#ao3 down#it’s hour 24#i woke up#went to check#still gone#:(#i was gonna read from a ship/fandom i don’t usually read from too#but no#maybe this’ll force me to study for my physics and chem exams#and finish my scholarship essay#and make progress on my wips#but for now i’m just feeling withdrawals#if ao3 is gone for good idk what i’ll do#i will not be returning to WATTPAD tho#idk how to live like this
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Look at this panel I'm proud of :D
A second panel I'm proud of -- the front view of the mask:
#I'm redrawing my fantasy webcomic#I'm thinking if progress is good I'll release it somewhere at the start of next year#but I'm just sketching and lining everything without putting too much pressure on a set date#symmetry tool my beloved#doodles of the art blocked wolf#oc#runaway wolves#samus oudaletya#illustration#webcomic#edit: idk why that tag was there lmao but its gone now
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My thoughts on jewish politics are nuanced and convoluted in many ways, but if somebody comes at me with the idea of categorizing my thoughts as being in line with the "good jews" or the "bad jews," you've just got to assume I'm not One Of The Good Ones.
#jewish politics#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#caveat that i am not officially jewish yet and some of y'all (antisemites) still treat me with similar hatred and jew hatred#for some (many) antisemites i'm already too far gone and frankly i'm glad. i'm glad to face their hatred rather than concern trolling...#...or the infantilizing antisemitic 'let me save you from the jews 🥺🥺🥺'. it makes me sick to my stomach either way but at least...#...with the outright hatred you arent trying to bullshit me. i despise when people lie to me or put on façades or use platitudes to trick m#i have never been One Of The Good Ones and i'm not about to start now basically#and i would rather stand with others/other jews (again im in progress but i digress) than stand a second near antisemitism 🙏#like i know at some point i'm probably going to have to have more concrete opinions but now isn't the right time for that#i try to educate myself but i don't for one second want to encroach. in many ways i guess i'm waiting until i am a jew? i dunno 👍#felt i should make this clear in case i do start getting the same shit the jews/fellow jews-in-prgress i follow are#thank g-d i haven't had too much shit on this account but i have already been barraged by actual tumblr nazis who called me the k-slur so h#that happened a While ago (again thank g-d) but that still cemented in my head that i am... maybe ig Too Jewish to ever be safe ever again#if that statement makes sense
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Oh no! I’ve been pixelated!!
#pixels#art#digital art#pixel art#oc#my oc#my persona#I don’t look as frightened as I was gonna for but it is my first attempt to be fair#I just got myself a pixel art app gang#I am no longer a fraud#I think I’ve already ran out of free exports tho…#to be far it wasn’t working#plus my phone died the first time I finished this and when I plugged it in literally all of my progress was gone#RIP hour and a half of my time#whoever is reading this YOU🫵 are now pixelated too and must draw yourself in pixels#the disease spreads
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What was your inspiration for Yara? how did she come to be?
Oooh good question!! Yara, like the vast majority of my OCs, underwent a lot of tweaks and changes and development to the point I have her at right now, where I've got her story and personality and abilities and all that pretty tightly nailed down.
Her character concept started as Mihawk's daughter (I just thought he was EXTREMELY COOL the first time he showed up in the East Blue arc), since I have a thing with my OCs where they always end up being related to a canon character somehow (i.e. Circe Mackinnon (Soul Eater) being the half-sister of Franken Stein; Lilletz Lucilfer (HxH) being the younger sister of Chrollo; Haganezuka Minako (KnY) being the niece of Haganezuka Hotaru; Joey Armansky (Death Note) being the cousin of Mary Kenwood/Wedy; (Iryna Kovalenko (BnHA) fits this mould too but I haven't revealed who she's related to just yet heheh it's a bit of a doozy)). Funny enough, I initially envisioned her travelling with her father and perhaps encountering the Straw Hats at Baratie, so the whole abandonment plotline actually didn't come into play until later, when I decided to make her a Whitebeard Pirate after meeting Ace in the Alabasta arc and absolutely falling in love with him (which only grew as I learned more about him and the depth of his character).
Sometimes, the funny thing with OCs is that after a certain point, their stories just sort of begin to write themselves and all the pieces start to fit together in some really nice thematic ways. Yara and Ace's relationship developed as they found common ground with their resentment towards their fathers and both looking to Whitebeard as a surrogate father figure, which in turn developed Yara's internal struggles with her own identity (not knowing where she came from for the longest time and then even after finding out who her father is, dealing with the pain of being an unwanted and neglected child who grew up into an fiercely angry, yet profoundly lonely young woman). The more I thought about what Yara's early life must've been like, the more I could get a good grasp of who she is as a young adult, what her major plot beats are, and how those connect with the canon story.
Her relation to Wano and the Shimotsuki family (and Zoro, who became her second cousin on her mother's side) was a later addition, as I continued to learn more about the One Piece world and how she could potentially fit into each arc. Marineford and Wano were the two natural places where she would exist, so I've really tried to figure out her development in relation to those two arcs.
I hope that answers your question okay! I could really talk about Yara (or any of my OCs) all day heheh
#oc: bravada yara#my ocs#asked and answered#tl;dr it really was a nice progression of different concepts i had neatly fitting into place#yara as mihawk's abandoned daughter fit beautifully into her desire to rescue ace at marineford when the two came face to face#and her reconnection with mihawk during the timeskip just ended up working out perfectly considering her losses at marineford#giving her the wano connection has woven her neatly into that arc as well#even if her mother wasn't from wano she likely would've gone with marco and izou anyways#but now she has an extra reason to be there that only could've happened because she reconnected with mihawk#and her distrust in the world government because of her run-in with cipher pol gives her a perfect reason to not care about ace's parentage#because she doesn't buy into the wg propaganda of who [redacted for my opla friends] was said to be#so ace tells her and she's just like *shrug* “cool. i hate my dad too”
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