#feels like i'm drowning ch 5

[noobartshit]

sometimes when writing, you come up w a cool idea w absolutely no idea how to take it forward or how it even connects to the larger plot, or the characters, or even the canon of your own fic, which can have you pacing your room or staring blankly at the wall, revisiting the original source material, or distracting yourself w your pet and i think that's a really sexy quirk of being a writer <3

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch.1

A/N: Instead of forcing myself to focus on one series at a time, I'm planning to write what sparks joy to write in the moment and post it as I go! Hopefully this will clear some wips and help me feel less disorganized lmao! Not to say I'm not working on THB, I def am I just want to have something to post as I work on THB and the bigger projects like the LWAB fics among other things! So (hopefully) I'll keep these chapters limited to 5-7k, but we'll see lol pls enjoy and send me asks I thrive on them and so does my motivation!

And a huge thank you to my wonderful B @rapline-heaux for beta-reading ily!!

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior not rlly in this part but soon, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect, academic neglect, stitches, drunk Jungkook, tackling, pinning someone down, mention of open relationship, poly is the norm is this au

“It’s time to go now.” 

1, 2, 3, 4

“Five years after the fall of the underground power family, Moon Corporation, people still suspect an even more powerful company has taken their place since…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“It’s… so red…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“The exposure beheld more answers than questions, but on the five-year anniversary of the suicidal explosion that killed the head, Moon Byungyeol and his daughter, the elusive green-haired girl who was 18 at the time, colleagues mourn in secret and establishments fear an anniversary heist or something worst than last year as the date rapidly approaches…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“Locals have several theories on the big conglomerate that now controls Seoul’s business, underground and above, with the mafia organizations and gangs running rampant, people fear the government is under their thumb as well…”

1, 2- SHUT UP

You inhaled deeply as if just surfacing from the drowning body of water residing in your brain. Your fingers stilled from the tapping, a  desperate attempt to make you surface, a sorry technique your brief stint in therapy drilled into you. Maybe having nothing led to illogical personal connections with a number. Of all your training as an heir, it was the mundane basic curriculum lessons that fascinated you the most. You were never good at math, but you loved to be perplexed by the numbers. It was a humbling experience, and in your fruitless calculations, four was always the easiest to wrap your head around. Of course, you didn’t know how humbled you’d be until you were a 20 year old trying to figure out how to do middle school math. Your education left much to be desired growing up, but you still enjoyed learning. 

You used to be convinced four was too perfect of a number for such an ugly world, and though you let go of the notion with your past life, it didn’t change that it was a world you had to feign blind to now. In your youth, four was a beautiful result of a simple equation, a funny origin to big numbers. It was a warm hug among the violent reactions when you’d get questions far below your intended grade level wrong. In a world where stuffed animals were banned from your childhood room, the number four was all you had. You didn’t particularly like how pathetic that made you feel, but it didn’t change how much it helped you on days like these.

Your palms retracted from their firm placement on the wall you leaned on, relaxing you. Releasing your slightly curled fingers, you stifled a bitter laugh at the desperate attempt to grasp onto something. It was always so degrading to scrub off the marks your acrylics made along the wall, but the stiletto nails made taps loud enough to bring you back. It was an absolute mystery how the school you worked at let you get away with these. 

Your little episode was finished as you settled your mind with the news continuing to drone on. You massaged your jaw, sore from the subconscious clench you were cursed with. You blew out a sigh as you felt your face and nodded when no tears were felt. Your phone buzzed, alerting you to the time and you groaned. Your damn neighbor would be here any minute now.

Jungkook wasn’t a mean guy by any means, quite the opposite. He was extremely insistent on your well-being, so much so it bordered on doting, and such behavior made you clam up. You didn’t know how to respond to his fussing over you. Hell, you didn’t know how to respond to most interactions outside of your old family business for a long while. That was just one of the many things he taught you, and he never once lost his cool doing so. He was patient with you, and you didn’t know how to thank him for it. 

You both had been in the same class when you attended university, and while you were fine with letting your temporary acquaintanceship go no further than asking for notes or the occasional study session, he was a force to be reckoned with. You just kept running into him and when you moved here and found he was your next-door neighbor, you knew there was no getting out of it. He was going to be your friend. Although, you never understood why he wanted to be so bad. 

Cut to a whole year after you both graduated, and it still didn’t make any sense. You both were polar opposites in a lot of ways. He was the regular party boy always at clubs and coming home at ungodly hours of the night. Meanwhile, you were usually in bed by 11:00 pm and only left your apartment for the job that barely covered your rent. Needless to say, you weren't exactly a social butterfly, so if you found one friend in Jungkook, you figured it wouldn't be such a crime.

However, having Jungkook as a friend meant having a weekly dinner with him as he mooched off of your TV and you mooched off of the food he paid for. It was an even enough exchange. Plus, it was nice to talk freely, or well, as free as you've ever been able to, even if just for a little bit.

You faced the mirror, patting down your hair, thankful for how much healthier it was without the cheap dye job you had done yourself when you were 14, “That green didn’t suit me at all,” You mused, fixing your hair, “Plus it nearly ruined my hair.” You murmured to no one in particular, keeping track of your speeding thoughts as you settled back into Earth. 

Jungkook knocked on the door and you nodded to yourself, “It’s open!” You called and sat down at the table as he walked in, take-away bags in his hands.

“You really shouldn’t leave your door open like that, you know.” He tsked like he always did. It just made sense to leave it unlocked when you knew he was coming, especially if you needed to run to the bathroom so you could finish crying before facing him. Of course, you haven't had to do that in a while, but better safe than sorry. Your issues, for lack of better term, were no secret to Jungkook, and you both knew it, but you liked to avoid having him see you at your most vulnerable when you could help it.

You simply shrugged as you helped him unpack the food, “We’re the only ones on the top floor.” You reminded him, “it would be quite silly of a criminal to come all the way up to the 20th floor.” You chided.

“Still.” He tried to argue but quickly gave up. Jungkook knew by now that you could take care of yourself, but sometimes you wished you’d let him do it for you more often. However, he let this potential argument go, this time. He looked around and narrowed his gaze at the TV, “Why do you still have the news on?” 

You paused and looked up from your food as it prattled on about your family, “I guess I forgot,” You forced your casual tone, “Did you get-”

“Syndicates, huh…?” He echoed the news reporter’s words, eyes fixated on the screen with a curious look, “The news is so weird with this stuff.”

The chopsticks in your hand stilled. You wanted to say that the syndicates were even weirder since they were the ones that probably signed off on the script. As a little girl, that was the first thing you had learned, how to play chess outside on a park bench, how to play chess crushing people in your hands as you moved them. It had all been the same to you for far too long. 

“Like I care, it’s just background noise.” A lie, you hated lying, but it was something you had to get used to doing for the sake of your safety.

“You aren't scared of these guys at all?” Jungkook looked at you like you were crazy, although his eyes didn't match the rest of his face's intensity.

Shaking off the weird notion, you rolled your eyes, “A world without you buying me dinner is pretty spooky but that,” You gestured to the TV, “Is a cheap haunted house in comparison to the hell of making dinner or worse, ordering it myself, on a Friday night.” You giggled.

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a scoff, “Is that all I am to you? A sugar daddy?” He asked in mock offense and you nearly spit out your drink.

You swallowed roughly before glaring at him as he laughed, “If you’re my sugar daddy, I need a new one.” You retorted and his laugh died while a childish pout settled on his face, “I mean, all I get is a measly dinner once a week and I still have to work and pay my bills?” 

“Well, what do I get, huh?” He crossed his arms, and it made you chuckle. Laughter had never come easy to you growing up, and it still had a hard time coming to you but after years by Jungkook’s side it was easier than ever to do, “Where’s my sugar?” He thrusted his cheek toward you, tapping on it with his index finger.

You rolled your eyes in spite of the flutter in the pit of your stomach and pushed his face away with your index finger, “My presence is your sugar, dummy.” You teased and how easy it was to be human around him made you smile wider, “Plus I let you watch your silly little shirtless men.” 

He clicked his tongue, “First of all, if you’re going to call them shirtless men, at least call them hot because look at him.” He pressed a button on your remote and his favorite fighter, Park Jimin filled the screen, “Second of all, it’s literally fewer syllables to just say MMA fights.”

You took a bite of your food and shrugged, “Don’t you have, like, a million boyfriends? Wouldn’t you make them jealous drooling all over Jimin?” You challenged, vaguely remembering Jungkook saying he had more than three boyfriends at some point. Not that it was surprising, most people had at least two significant others. Unless they were you, of course. You had no one to talk to but the man sitting in front of you, forget about a significant other. “He would make me pretty damn insecure.” You chuckled.

Jungkook scrunched his brows at you, “Six.” He corrected, mirth filling his eyes already.

You looked from the TV to him, “Hm?” You tilted your head to the side.

“I have six boyfriends, thank you very much.” He stated matter-of-factly, and you rolled your eyes at his tone, “Why? Are you trying to give me seven significant others?” He feigned a scandalous gasp, “Well, the relationship is open, you know, so I guess I could pencil you in–” You cut him off by shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth with a glare. The teasing made your chest seize for a split moment when faced with his teasing smirk, so this had been the best way to shut him up. 

Jungkook had always been a flirt, he often relished in teasing you to see how embarrassed you would get. Thankfully, over the years you had gotten used to it. You had already known his relationship was open since he mentioned how often they’re all apart, but you didn’t care to entertain that kind of intimacy with Jungkook even in your thoughts these days. It was just better that way.

“Ha, ha, we got a comedian.” You deadpanned and before you could say anything else, something on the screen caught your eyes, “What the fuck?” You mumbled.

“What?” Jungkook inquired as he looked at the TV, swallowing the food you fed him.

The camera had panned over the crowd and over an eerily familiar face poorly covered with sunglasses. The etching of a scar peeking out of the cheap frames told you all you needed, though. That was your uncle. 

What the hell was he doing showing his face? Let alone this close to the five-year anniversary of everything. The new syndicate in charge took great joy in celebrating the fall of your family, no doubt they’re itching for someone to make an example of someone. Worry tried to leak its way into your veins, but you fought it. Why should you care about him? If he wanted to sign his death certificate, that was on him.

Still, the sight of a man you were almost positive you’d never see again made you feel uneasy. You’d acclimated to regular life quite well, so one of the few remnants of your past life appearing like a ghost was ominous. In spite of your unease, you couldn’t look away. Almost as if you were waiting for him to poof away. You kinda wished he would. 

The camera changed and you finally blinked.

“N-Nothing.” You finally said, shaking your head, “I just thought I recognized someone, that’s all.” Your hands trembled for the briefest of moments as you lifted food to your mouth.

“Oh really, who?” Your only friend asked curiously and you shrugged as you chewed.

“Just some teacher that called in today.” You lied and it made your food taste sour for a moment. It was for the best you lied, you had to keep reminding yourself of that. 

“Hell, I’d call in too if it meant I could see the fight live.” You were thankful Jungkook dropped the topic and let your shoulders relax. You shouldn’t feel bad for lying, really. An unspoken rule between you both was that you never pried about private details. Jungkook led his life and you led yours. Hell, you don’t even know what he does for a living, but it wouldn’t surprise you if it was living off of his boyfriends’ income. Not to mention you didn’t even know if he lived with anyone else next door or if that was just a place of his own to use on occasions. Though, you couldn’t help being a little jealous at the idea of being so pampered. 

“Yeah, I could go for a silly little shirtless man fight on occasion.” You shrugged with a cheeky grin. 

“Silly?!” Jungkook guffawed, “I’ll have you know if he wins this fight, he’ll qualify for the championship, so this is pretty high stakes.” He toted his knowledge of the sport.

“Hasn’t he already been champion like a few times now?” You asked, barely following.

“Yeah, but, he’s been off his game this season for… personal reasons, so he’s never been this close to not qualifying.” He admitted, and your brows scrunched at the melancholy in his eyes. 

“Damn.” You mustered, “How do you know all this?” You asked, genuine curiosity lighting your eyes.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s cheeks reddened as he tore his eyes from you, “Interviews and stuff, you know.” He waved his hand dismissively and you rolled your eyes. 

“Nothing wrong with being a fanboy.” You chided, “I’m certainly in no place to judge.” You offered, reminding him of your fixation on TV dramas, making him snort before you both honed in on the TV.

These fights were quite fascinating and allowed you to at least tap into some of your training. It was how you knew that Jimin was going to win this fight from the first calculated punch, his form was immaculate and instead of going for the face, he drove his fist into his opponent’s ear. It was a dirty trick, but it was more than enough to give him an opening. 

“Holy shit, I think he might win this.” The fanboy across from you breathed. 

“No way he isn’t going to win.” You confirmed.

“Don’t get my hopes too far up.” He all but squeaked out, basically on the edge of his seat.

After a couple of rounds and idle chitchat, the fight ended with Jimin as the victor. You clapped lightly, but Jungkook was so elated he hugged you as he let out a celebratory roar. The first couple of times he did this shocked you so bad your hands almost went to snap his neck. Now that you were both years into the friendship though, the gesture just made you chuckle. Soon after, just like it did every match, Jungkook’s phone vibrated and he had to leave. He always left you with some kind of affection and this time it was a kiss on the cheek, a rare one, but not a huge step from the common forehead kisses he gave you.

“Don’t drink too much.” You warned and he flashed you a cheeky smile, “At least don’t get into trouble.”

“We’ll see.” He chuckled,  and you rolled your eyes.

“Well then don’t make it my problem!” You yelled and he waved a hand as he closed your door behind him. 

—

“Father?” You whimpered as a strong hand patted your head to calm you, or soften the blow of what was to come, you couldn’t quite tell, “Tell me you didn't.” Your voice was in shambles as you trembled beneath his palm.

The news mocked you as panic took a hold of your body, shaking it out of the shred of blissful ignorance you had clung onto. Ever since your father took you in, you had many responsibilities, but the comfort of not needing to keep up with the public facade kept you going. You hated the public, all the pleasantries, and honeyed words. None of it made sense, and now, now you felt foolish for not involving yourself more. For not ensuring that something like this could never happen and crumble the only world you’ve known. 

Still, even as despair monopolized your nerves, a tear wouldn’t fall. You weren’t sure if you knew how to shed them, but you knew it would only piss off your father. 

Moon Byungyeol was a rough man and calling him father teetered between feeling genuine and like a formality. He was a boss first, but sometimes he wore the mask of a dad. Sometimes, but it was enough times with enough gusto that you couldn’t tell which side of him best represented his true self– or if he even had a truthful bone within himself. 

He may have been rough, but he was all you had. He and the family he brought you into had been your first priority all your life, even when you had never really been his priority at all.

Not unless you could be used as currency. 

“Y/n, it's time for us to go,” His voice was somber, but even. You’d never seen him so outwardly upset, but even so, he didn’t so much as let his eyes water as his life’s work shattered before his eyes. He was left with a subdued longing as he looked at the TV, melancholic defeat infecting his usually strong posture, “I let this greed consume me, and I'm afraid it's begun eating not just me alive now.” He admitted and it made you feel ill. 

“...such evidence is linking the Moon Corporation to heinous organized crime activities painting them as a possible syndicate, but no arrests have been made nor has a formal criminal investigation on Moon Byungyeol himself been launched, but many workers under the company are being investigated due to possible involvement…”

Everything was dying. The realization that everything you did, all the lives you took, all the training you had suffered through, had never been for some prosperous empire you were promised. All of it had been to supply the lining of your father’s and uncle’s pockets. You should’ve been angry, shocked, or even appalled, but you weren't. You were numb to the fact that you were raised on lies. Fear resided in your veins about what that meant for you. 

“If I just cash out and retire, we could never live in peace,” He shook his head as he switched off the TV before he placed his hands on your shoulder, catching your attention, “But Uncle Byungjoo has a plan that I think might just work.” You swallowed hard at this. Anything Byungjoo could think seldom meant good things for you. On your best days with him, you were a mere afterthought, but on the worst days– most days– you were–”The only thing is that you and I will have to… separate…”

He was going to abandon it. No, he was going to abandon you. The only thing more pitiful than your fear had to be your shock. What reason did you truly have to be surprised that he was throwing you away just as easily as he picked you? He was going to cash out one last time, and leave like this whole operation meant nothing to him. All the while you had put an inkling of faith in his heart to love this empire, like a fool. At the very least, it was the closest thing to love that you knew. This entire place was all you knew. When was the last time you had gone out on your own as anything but his daughter?

“But…” Your mouth was woefully dry, “The empire, just like you said, it’s-”

“We were never an empire,” His self-loathing clung to each word and disgust curled in your stomach as you looked at his solemn face, “I treated this organization as a bank, a money maker, it was inevitable that the paper I cradled would catch fire.” The roundabout way he was speaking began to grate at your nerve. The pseudo-poeticism of his words did nothing to save his dignity, but you didn’t tell him that. 

You didn't scream, yell, or cry. 

At least you hadn't, yet.

“Then who will rule Seoul?” You wondered aloud.

“That’s not my problem anymore.” He said as if it were the easiest thing to come to terms with.

“Who will stay with me?” You asked meekly, immediately regretting it as you watched his previous words dance on his lips before he decided against it.

He smiled warmly at you and it brought a chill down your spine, “Some of us are meant to be alone.” He patted your shoulder and you wanted so badly to break into pieces from the impact. 

No one would stay with you. Not him, not anyone, and he didn't care.

That wasn't the answer you had hoped for. You hung your head in shame, shame that you expected anything other than a cold answer from a man on fire. The request for him to just kill you was on the time of your tongue before he turned around, ready to attend his last hurrah.

////

You woke up with a start from a bang outside, but considering the fact that it was 4 am, you chalked it up to city noise. Now awake, you stared at the ceiling and blew out an annoyed sigh. You were constantly plagued with flashbacks both in and out of your dreams, and you wished the rancid memories would choose one state of consciousness to haunt you in. Your therapist a couple of years back told you it's normal for people who have gone through what you have to constantly see what you were then in trying to dissect where you are now. Essentially, it was a constant cloud that hung over your head, and no matter how far you removed yourself from that life, its consequences would stay etched into your skin.

Another bang sounded outside your window and you grimaced. Anniversary week was beginning, and you felt more on edge than usual.

Five years ago exactly, you saw the match light. In four days, it will have officially been five years since you saw the flames engulf your home, your family, and everything you were. Each year, this week was chaos for the city of Seoul. Each day was accompanied by an event that slowly grew more and more above ground. It was almost mocking the past, the surfacing of dirty secrets. Secrets the world knew, but never wanted to see, cowards.

The new syndicate at the top of the kingdom was known as Bangtan to the underground scene, but with a “Group” tacked on after the ominous name, they were also the kings of the business world. They were much better at actually hiding their identities, hence why most average people assumed there was no such syndicate anymore or that the “law” took care of it. As if the “law” wasn’t under the thumb of the kings. 

Even so, your information could very well be outdated. The whispers from the underground, also known as the Underworld or even more to the point, Hell, reached your ears less and less as you removed yourself from the lives of anyone who knew who you were. No longer working at the diner your previous nanny ran shut you off from the underground so much so you seldom became aware of Anniversary Week’s events until two days before the main event. 

Another bang, but this time on your door, startled you out of your thoughts, “I can’t believe you went to the bar on a day like today- where are your keys?!” An unfamiliar voice spoke through your door.

“Ask, y/n,” Jungkook’s slurred voice rang out in a yell as you flinched at the volume, “Y/n! I need stitches!” 

This wasn't the first time Jungkook was yelling outside your door, demanding your assistance. This was just another facet of your friendship that you both silently agreed was fine. You never really asked questions, you just patched him up and left him on your couch. It really wasn't any of your business, nor did you have any desire for it to be. Jungkook was an MMA fan, and you knew he was big on that scene and the fitness scene, so it just made sense he would get into fights. You could only hope these fights were agreed upon prior to alcohol, but you weren't naive enough to actually assume that was the case.

“This isn’t even your door, baby, come on.” The voice grunted and your attention peaked. You had encountered a few men trying to help Jungkook home, but you seldom got such an obvious confirmation of their relationship with him, “What? Are you trying to booty call your neighbor?” The unknown man teased and you rolled your eyes. Were they all like this?

“I wish!” Jungkook shouted in response and you were fine with leaving your door closed this time until he spoke, “Ew, I’m dripping on the doormat.”

This made you huff as you hopped out of bed in your large t-shirt and shorts and ripped the door open. You were faced with a man with perfectly styled black hair in a three-piece suit accompanied by a trashed Jungkook with a short, but deep, cut on the corner of his forehead. The man that looked a few years older than you and Jungkook stopped struggling with your neighbor as he looked at you with the most pristine and exasperated face.Everything about this man was polished. Even as your neighbor lazily draped around the man, his suit had barely begun to wrinkle. 

Meanwhile, he looked you up and down with contempt before sighing, “Look, just forget we were-”

“Y/n!” Jungkook cheered before he passed out.

“No booty calls here, sorry.” You remarked flatly, “He usually keeps his keys in his wallet for some reason.” You nodded to his pocket before you looked at his forehead again, “But he does need stitches.” You opened your door a little more, gesturing for them to come in.

The man narrowed his eyes at you, “Do you usually play nurse for him?” You bit your tongue and swallowed his condescending tone with a sigh. You couldn’t tell if he was jealous at the thought of his boyfriend having some neighbor who treats his wounds in the dead of night or if he simply didn’t like you. Although looking at his face, there was no way this man was jealous of you. His gaze was sharp nonetheless, sharp and vaguely familiar, but his eyes held no recognition for you, so you let it go.

“Only when his blood is dripping on my doormat, for the third time this month,” You pointed to the sullied mat that you had just cleaned fully this week, “Bring him in, this isn’t that uncommon-” 

“But-” He tried to object, noticeably a little clammy at the unspoken knowledge of their relationship. 

“Any more blood on that mat and I'm making you pay for it, now come on,” You snapped as he walked in and sat Jungkook in a chair around your table. You shut the door as you pulled your first aid kit out, “You have to sit him on the floor or the couch.”

He complied to the couch, and though he didn’t say anything, you could see the question floating around his mind.

“When he wakes up, he attacks whoever is in front of him,” You spoke, preparing the needle and thread, and you had to ignore the curiosity peaking within you when you saw the other man shift uncomfortably at your comment,  “And I can't stitch and hold him down at the table,” You explained, settling your knees to lock on both sides of Jungkook’s legs and your elbows pressing on his shoulders.

“Aren't you scared he'll hurt you?” The man asked as you began stitching.

You scoffed, “I can play scared if that's what you want, but certainly not for free.” You chuckled, but he remained straight-faced. Tough crowd. You worked very hard to develop your banter skills these past five years, but he paid them no mind making your smile drop. 

Eventually, you just went on stitching in silence until the man broke the silence, “Who are you?” The man spoke mid-way through your stitching.

You paused for a moment, “Didn't you hear Jungkook? I’m y/n, and who are you?”

“None of your concern,” He clipped.

You snorted a chuckle, “You're bleeding on my hardwood floor, that has me pretty concerned.” You gestured to your hand to show him the small cut on his and he slowly grabbed a napkin to press against his hand with his mouth in a thin line, “Concerned for my floor I mean.” You clarified, “But a word of advice? If you don’t want to be suspicious of you, don’t act suspicious.” 

He sighed, “My name is Namjoon-”

You were tying the final knot when Jungkook snapped his eyes open, “Shit.” Was all you were able to get out. He immediately dove at you, pushing you to the floor, making the needle in your hand scratch your forearm before you threw it across the room to avoid the tempting notion of stabbing him with it. You sucked in a breath through your teeth at the burning sensation while you struggled to shake him out of it. 

It didn’t take a genius to deduce why Jungkook’s fight or flight was so concentrated, he’d obviously grown up with a reason to be. Nevertheless, it has never been your place to pry or judge, if anything, it’d be quite hypocritical. He'd seen you in a less-than-ideal mental state plenty of times, to put it lightly. Plus, you knew he didn’t mean any harm, and he was always pretty apologetic after the fact. Although, you were sure the struggle looked pretty concerning as you saw Namjoon scramble to his feet. 

Namjoon was trying to find an opening to cut in between the battle as Jungkook was sloppily throwing his fist down and you were moving your head to dodge each blow. Though his moves were sloppy, they were still fast and you could only dodge for so long. With no other option left, you sighed before slamming your forehead on his fresh stitches to make him stop to register the pain. You took advantage of the opening as you effortlessly pinned his arms down with your knees planted on his upper arms, “Jungkook!” You snapped as Namjoon watched his younger friend finally recognize you in his drunken haze.

“Y-Y/n?” He questioned, his tongue thick in his mouth, “You hurt my head- hey, you’re bleeding on my shirt!”

Your arm had a scratch about half the length of your forearm, it was shallow and oozing blood, but you didn’t flinch, “Wonder who made me hurt both my arm and their head, dumbass,” You muttered, examining his stitches to make sure the impact didn’t affect the new suture, “And you got your blood on my doormat and my forehead, so let’s call it a draw.” You grunted as you fixed the suture.

The sight of someone towering over his boyfriend after headbutting them made Namjoon on edge. Jungkook talked for days and days about how much he loved spending time with his neighbor, but something was… off about you. Why would a school nurse be that skilled in combat? Jungkook was a ruthless fighter and you hardly flinched. 

This string of thoughts prompted his mistake of grasping your wounded forearm to make you stand so he could properly question you. What he didn’t calculate in that movement was the fact that he grasped your fresh cut, which hurt like a bitch. This pain made you bring your other forearm to his neck, pressing firmly into his trachea as his back hit the wall with a bang. You both looked at each other in surprise at your reflex. You gasped softly before releasing him, “Don’t ever manhandle a lady, Namjoon,” You mumbled as you brought distance between the two of you, “I don’t do well being frightened.”

Namjoon regained his composure, impressed by your reaction time and ability to weaken his pride in such a short matter of seconds, “Who are you?” His tone was rougher in comparison to when he first asked the question.

“None of your concern,” You mocked his voice cartoonishly, becoming more and more irritated with his line of questioning, “Now take him, an alcohol pad, and go.” You hissed, unceremoniously tossing the package at him.

He gave you a sharp glare but complied, hauling Jungkook over his shoulder and leaving.  The door shut and you let a relieved sigh escape you. You shut your eyes tightly, frustrated that you let your instincts take over like that. Namjoon was undoubtedly suspicious and that’s the last thing you needed. You opened your eyes and caught sight of the clock nearing 5 am, and it was a Saturday now, so you were going to sleep in as much as you could.

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Masterlist

[doc-pickles]

sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch. 5)

series masterlist

summary: sid and vivie get to know each other

warnings: none :)

author’s note: hi friends! so sorry this took FOREVER to write. i had a huge case of writers block but I'm back at it. hope y'all enjoy!

xoxo

nina

“Uncle Sid, Uncle Sid! Vivie is coming over today,” Sidney has barely stepped through the door of the Malkin household before Nikita is excitedly bouncing in front of him. “And her mommy is coming too!”

Geno appears behind Nikita, looking not the least bit ashamed that his son had accosted his best friend, “Niki, too loud. Eva is sleeping and mama won’t be happy if she wake up again.”

Nikita mumbles out an apology as he drags Sid into the kitchen. His coloring book and markers are set up on the island and Anna is puttering around getting things ready for lunch. She stops to press a kiss to Sid’s cheek and say hello before she goes back to cooking. 

“How you feeling,” Geno asks as Sid takes the seat next to Nikita. “About Annie?”

“Good, fine,” Sid swallows thickly and keeps his eyes locked on his hands. “We, uh, talked last week. And we’ve texted a bit. She sends me pictures of Vivie. So it’s going… It’s going good.”

We also had sex four times in one night and I think I died, Sid adds silently.

“Look Sid, I know it hard after what Annie did, but you have new chance with Vivie,” Geno squeezes Sid’s shoulder just as the doorbell rings. “Your girls are here.”

Your girls. 

Sidney scoffs at the idea that Annie could be his again but Vivie… Vivie was kind of his wasn’t she? 

“Niki!”

“Vivie!”

Vivie and Nikita appear in the living room, a mess of giggles and stomping feet. Sid can feel his heart skip a beat as he takes in his godson and daughter, both enamored with each other. 

When he tears his eyes away from the duo Sidney locks eyes with Annie who’s chatting with Anna. She stutters her words for a moment before waving at him and turning back to her conversation. 

“Still got it even though you’re old man,” Geno chuckles and nudges Sid in the side. “Niki, Vivie! Come help Sid and me with grill. I give you candy before dinner.”

Vivie and Nikita’s excitement drowned out both Annie and Anna’s protests, leaving Geno to flash his wife a smirk as he leads the kids out to the backyard. 

Sid has just gone to grab the burgers on the counter when Annie approaches him. Anna is nowhere to be found as Annie stares up at Sid with those wide green eyes he fell in love with. 

“Hi,” Annie breathes out, Sid returning the greeting. “Listen… I want you to get to know Vivie but what happened between us last week was…”

“A mistake?” Sidney provides. 

“No,” Annie smiles up at Sid, pausing before she’s reaching up and cupping his cheek tenderly. “Nothing with you could ever be a mistake. Maybe just… A lapse in judgment? Anyways, I think for right now we both just need to keep our focus on Vivie and take things slowly with her.” 

Sid nods, but Annie’s hand pressed to his cheek is fogging his brain as he stares at her, “Yeah I… Yes you’re right. Vivie comes first.”

Annie nods and takes a step back and suddenly Sid’s cheek feels cold, like Annie’s hand had sparked something beneath his skin. He shakes the feeling off quickly and gestures towards the slider to the backyard. 

“Gotta go help G,” Sid nods towards his friend who’s trying to start up the grill. “I, uh, yeah… Yeah…”

Sidney quickly escapes out the door, avoiding what had turned into an awkward conversation with Annie. He almost runs straight into Geno, who’s grinning broadly at him. 

“You talking up Annie? Convince her you Prince Charming?” Geno teases, causing Sid to roll his eyes. “Gimme burgers, you useless. Go entertain kids.”

With a quick burger handoff Sidney is headed towards the play structure where Nikita and Vivie are chattering excitedly about everything and nothing. When they spot Sid both kids grin excitedly, as if they were waiting for him. 

“Uncle Sid can you tell us the story about when you broke a window,” Nikita smiles at Sidney with a look he’s clearly learned from his father. “It’s my favorite.”

Sid rolls his eyes as he approaches the play structure where the kids are perched at the top, legs swinging as they sit side by side. 

“I should’ve never told you that story, your dad is gonna have my head when you break one of his windows one day,” Sid ruffles Nikita’s hair before continuing. “I was probably about 10 and I was trying to teach my sister Taylor the best way to hit a puck.” 

Vivie gasps and turns to Sidney, “Taylor is my middle name! I have an Auntie Taylor but I never met her before.”

The air around Sidney feels thin as he stares at Vivienne, his daughter, who shares his big eyes and his chin and looks so much like Taylor he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the moment. Instead he steels himself and takes a deep breath before nodding and continuing on with his story. 

“So I showed her how I hit the puck and mine landed right in the goal. And then she swung it so wildly that it flew over the goal and smashed a window,” Vivie and Nikita burst into fits of giggles as Sidney retells the story. “My mom was not happy with me.”

“But you weren’t the one that hit the puck,” Vivie’s brows furrow as she looks at Sid. “Why’d you get in trouble?”

“Because I knew I wasn’t supposed to practice slap shots facing the house,” Sid grins. “But I did it anyway.”

Vivie laughs and rolls her eyes, “You’re so silly Sid.”

His name rolling off Vivie’s lips has Sidney holding back the urge to rush forward and pull her into his chest. But Annie had asked that they take things slow and he wasn’t about to get on her bad side. 

“Annie what do you like to do for fun,” Sid asks as he watches the kids color the wooden play structure with colorful chalk. “Nikita told me you went to science camp with him.”

Vivie thinks for a moment, tongue sticking out slightly in a way that reminded him of Annie, “I like to color and read lots of books and play with my Barbies and sometimes my mommy takes me ice skating. I asked if I could do the dancing skating class like Mia in my class at school but mommy said it was too expensive. So we just go to the rink and watch the skaters in the pretty outfits instead.”

Sid nods but his mind is already working, his gut twisting with a mix of guilt and sadness. Was Annie struggling financially? Didn’t she know she could come to him? 

She would’ve had to tell you about Vivie first. 

The thought leaves his mind as quickly as it had appeared. While he doesn’t understand it fully Sid’s already decided that being angry with Annie about keeping Vivie from him would do more harm than good in the long run. 

“That sounds like a lot of fun, maybe I’ll take you and Nikita to the rink sometime,” Vivie’s eyes light up at Sidney’s words, a beaming smile on her face. “Sound good?”

“Yes yes yes! That would be so cool,” Vivie nearly shrieks and Sid has to hold back his laughter. “Nikita you have the coolest uncle ever!”

The praise warms Sidney’s heart and he thinks he’ll never forget this moment. 

+

“Hey.”

Annie is washing off plates in the kitchen when Sid gets her alone. They’ve been surrounded by the kids and Geno and Anna all afternoon, but now he has the chance to speak with her openly. 

“Hi,” Annie gives him a small smile as she places the last plate in the dishwasher. “What’s wrong?”

“Why would something be wrong?”

Annie brings her fingers up to Sid’s forehead, softly brushing against his eyebrows, “You’ve had your eyebrows scrunched for the past 30 minutes, that’s your giveaway when something is worrying you.” 

Sid sighs at the way Annie still knows him so well even after all their time apart, “Vivie was saying she wanted to take figure skating lessons.”

Annie’s face immediately falls, her hand leaving Sid’s face as she turns back to the sink, “Sidney-“

“You could’ve come to me at any time,” his voice has taken on an exasperated tone. “Annie, I would’ve helped you if you told me.”

There’s a pause as Annie braces her hands on the counter and takes a slow breath, “I can take care of Vivie just fine.”

“I never said you couldn’t,” Sid insists. “You’ve done an amazing job on your own. But I’m here now and I want to help you anyway that I can.”

“You want to help Vivie.”

“And you too Annie,” Sid’s voice is soft as he cups Annie’s chin to get her to look at him. “I want to help both of you. I’m not leaving or backing out of this, I’m all in.”

Annie blinks a few times before she nods and lets out a shaky breath, “I trust you Sid.”

“Thank you,” without thinking Sidney leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Annie’s forehead. “I need to get Vivie on the ice so I can send pictures to my mom.”

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 7 Minagoroshi pt. 11

Rika and friends have a nice lengthy chat about how they need to force the Children Consultation Service into helping Satoko out of her nasty situation. Rika becomes a lot more passive, because she's seen this scenario play out before and she's become overcome with depression over the fact it's happening again, and she just doesn't see it ending any other way than it usually does. She also becomes a lot more cavalier about mentioning events from other timelines (they eventually settle on calling them worlds) mentioning point blank to Shion that she's surprised she cares so much about Satoko this time around. After school they go off to the Child Consultation Service, where they're more or less given the brush off. It's only been one day since Teppei came back, and surely they're overreacting.

So Keiichi starts forming the plan to gather various townspeople together to help them show up to the CCS and show them how serious the situation is.

Remember, Teppei is a bad guy because he would sexually abuse Satoko if she were a few years older. Kameda is a goofy fun guy because he's a bit of a creepy loli weirdo. Or would Irie be the better contrast here?

You ever read a scene that you can feel it in your bones that if this had been translated even a few years earlier it would be rife with "edgy" jokes? I seem to remember reading somewhere that the MangaGamers version is a re-translation so I don't doubt that there's one that just is peppered with the occasional slur randomly in the dialogue. I would like to point out that to this day the version of Final Fantasy VII you can buy digitally still includes the scene where Tifa uses the r-word. Also, I just want to say this is a really weird tangent for Ryukishi07 to go on in the middle of this arc.

Tower of Druaga and Dragon Buster won't come out for another year Keiichi! You're being nostalgic for games that don't even exist yet you time traveling weirdo! Man, Keiichi is going to be in for the time of his life when the MSX or PC-88 becomes a thing. There's going to be so much pornographic mahjong games out there for him. Assuming he hasn't already seen them since, again, he's a time traveler reminiscing about the arcade games of 1984 he shouldn't have been able to play yet.

Please forgive the repetition for half of the screenshot here. Also, if you're not super loyal to Metal Gear Solid, the answer to the question is both. Although I think you should just grit your teeth and bear the burden of owning a PS3. You'll get some better games. The Yakuza franchise, for a start! Hell if Dead or Alive is really that big of a get for you, just wait, DoA 5 will come out on PS3. Although I guess you're missing out on DoA Xtreme 2. Anyway, I think Ryukishi forgot he wasn't posting on 2ch and accidentally wrote his "kids these days don't appreciate the classics" rant into his murder mystery.

Oh god, would Keiichi be that gamer? You know the type.

I kind of love how everyone's knee-jerk reaction to the Teppei situation is to just go immediately to violence. Except for the "reasonable" adults, everyone's reaction has more or less just been "let's kill the fucker."

Rika is being much more open about her desires to drown her sorrows. I think she might have a problem. (I'm quietly mourning my lack of photo editing software, or drive to edit Rika onto Stone Cold Steve Austin.)

Lighthearted silliness aside now it's time to get back to talking about the Satoko Houjou cruel abuse hour. During a meeting for the festival Keiichi and Ooishi talk about how they plan to go to the Child Consultation Center the next day and make them see their resolve. Ooishi talks about how hey maybe don't, cause it might cause issues if you know what I mean. Keiichi says nuts to that and he's going to do it anyway. He's gonna be the biggest, loudest, most persistently annoying thorn in their side, and no one can stop his manly resolve! Ooishi basically applauds this resolve, and the two have a manly fist bump affirming their manliness across the generational gap.

[zstraps]

thinking about that post where someone asked what story will be read at storytime / feature symbolically in s2 and i said the little mermaid...coming back to that in light of ✨new information✨ i'm thinking about how the little mermaid starts with her saving the prince from drowning 👀 don't have coherent thoughts but the things swirling in my head are:

the arc of season 2 is "stede becomes a man" -> the little mermaid's efforts to become human

all of ariel's funky little trinkets in the disney version. thinking about her finding comfort in collecting objects that bring her joy, while longing for a world she can't be a part of and not fitting in among her peers. then finally leaving home to go make a place in that world

also thinking about all of those trinkets being things that fell from ships. perhaps thrown overboard

in the Hans Christian Andersen version the little mermaid has a statue of a "handsome youth" that she cherishes. something about stede's book with the illustration of blackbeard, something about an idealized representation of masculine beauty / an embellished and sensationalized representation of masculine violence. idk

the prince doesn't know that it was the little mermaid who saved him. i keep wondering if ed is going to remember the things stede said to him when he was unconscious, and even if he does, if he'll realize stede was really saying them or just assume it was a dream. (like he could just ASK and stede would tell him but these boys are the kings of Not Talking It Through so is that going to happen right away? unlikely)

from the wikipedia summary of the HCA version: "Most of all, he likes to see her dance, and she dances for him despite suffering excruciating pain with every step. Soon, the Little Mermaid becomes the prince's favorite companion ... but he does not fall in love with her at all." thinking about stede and ed being physically reunited but they still have to find their way back to each other emotionally. thinking about stede blaming himself for ed's spiral and about stede's tendency to self-flagellate. thinking about him maybe just being so overjoyed to have ed alive that he'll take whatever he can get from him. about ed being afraid to let stede close again, but stede being so glad to have his best friend, his closest companion, that he'll swallow the pain of that rejection. tamp down his own feelings of doubt or fear or guilt and put on a cheerful front, because his own unhappiness isn't that important, is it? (a really great fic in that vein, btw, is quick question by @darcylindbergh <3 thinking about a conversation that happens in ch 5)

buttons as the Sea Witch??

in the end, when the prince is set to marry another and the little mermaid will die when they wed, the little mermaid's sisters bring her a knife (which they got from the sea witch by trading their hair), and tell her that if she plunges the knife into the prince's heart and lets his blood drip on her feet, she will regain her tail and can return to the sea. she draws back the curtain on the sleeping prince but then: "The knife trembled in the hand of the little mermaid—then she suddenly flung it far away into the waves, which gleamed red where it fell." then she throws herself into the sea after it and dies via dissolving into sea foam as mermaids apparently do

this is the bit where my thoughts are least coherent but most !!!-feeling. first off, the bed nook, with its curtains, where a similar moment played out last season

then, thinking about how the crew's loyalty at this point is very much to stede, not ed. the crew as the little mermaid's sisters, maybe? thinking about the possibility of ed "betraying" stede in some way, and the crew coming together (/getting a magic solution from buttons? lol) to give stede a way out that requires him betraying ed in return, but he won't do it. thinking about "some people are just broken" and the rest of the crew seeing ed as a lost cause. i'm not sure how they'd build to a moment like this, narratively, given that ed's rock bottom moment where the crew was forced to turn against him has already happened, and i don't think any of us would actually believe for a second that stede is genuinely considering giving up on ed, but.

the little mermaid throwing herself off the ship -> stede leaving the revenge? some kind of forced separation at the end of the season, maybe; or maybe (the painn) leaving because ed wants him gone; or maybe (more painnn) leaving as part of a fuckery but ed doesn't know it's not real, or the inverse, ed telling him to leave as part of a fuckery. pain pain painnnn. no thank you to this one

something about the dagger being thrown aside is just really sticking with me. especially given the arc of ed longing for some peace and fuckin quiet, a life where he doesn't have to be violent, and the arc of stede longing for danger and excitement, and learning to be a better pirate, while still also wanting to avoid cruelty. throwing aside a symbol of violence has the potential to be a catharsis, or a sacrifice, or a moment of backbone.

like i said. not all coherent. but hmmmmm thinkin thoughts

[ravenyenn19]

HI BEST FRIEND !!!!! Wishing you a speedy recovery 🫂

Here’s some questions about the show to keep you entertained!

1. What did you think of the scenes they brought in from soc and ck?

2. Your favourite Kanej scene from the show?

3. Do you think the writers read DWOD and it inspired them? 👀

4. What do you think of Inej leaving Ketterdam to find her brother?

5. Inej and Tolya…. do you think there’s something there? I personally don’t, I feel like it was a look of respect and I love the idea of her being with the twins! I feel like they’d respect and welcome her as a sister and they’d drop her off at Ketterdam and give her a matching necklace as a farewell gift.

In general, how did you feel about the show??

Wishing you a speedy recovery again 🥺❤️

(PS. What do you like for people to refer to you as here? Raven? Writer of the year? Writer of the century?)

Hi Lovely! <3 I'm sorry this is a bit late, the night I opened my asks I realized I didn't have my laptop charger, so the plan went downhill really quick... bahah. BUT! Thank you so much for asking these questions & being so supportive!!! Ily! <3 (also thank you for the well wishes! I am doing better & I appreciate you!!) SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE BOOKS & THE SHOW & MY FANFIC 'Dealing With Our Demons'. You've been warned<3

1.) SO... I already answered one question about the book scenes, or at least the Ferolind-esque one! I'll let that one stand as my answer, so I don't type another novel, but overall, I liked the direct scene adaptations. I think that a few changes specifically to higlight Inej's backstory & bring her to more of an equal footing on the screen w/ Kaz would have made those scenes weigh more for the viewers who have not read the books. The acting & characterization was incredible though! <3

2.) I think my favorite kanej scene from the show was actually one of the last. It was like 10 seconds long, outside right before the Chapel scene at the end. It was when Inej was walking back to the group from the fold and Kaz almost smiled before Jesper scooped her up in a hug. I know there is so much more to choose from, but this exact moment felt like ripping Kaz & Inej from the books. It felt so special. I feel that moment was when Kaz made the decision to admit his feelings to Inej. To say "I want you". (Honorable mention, the hallucination. Though, I have qualms about whether I think that was what Inej might have truly conjured at that moment. The reason this is a favorite of mine is actually because it felt like witnessing a scene from DWOD on screen. Kaz & Inej standing together, removing armor. it was so similar to chapter 17 "Bare Souls" of my fic in some way... that it felt like my soul lit up. *Kaz removes Inej's knives in that scene of my fic, very similarly*)

3.) I have no doubt the writers might have looked at fanfiction when first beginning the process of script molding. I am flattered that anyone might think they looked at DWOD. <3 (though I would literally faint if that was ever confirmed as fact!!).

There were certain moments that felt like seeing a snippet of DWOD on the screen, though so small I could not say for certain it was inspired or just coincidence! In Example, the instance I mentioned above. But also! In that same scene, Kaz says "We're here, Inej." and in multiple instances of DWOD those words are echoed or mirrored. Most notably, chapter 140 "Laughter In the Night." Inej says, "We're here." Kaz replies, "Yes, Inej. We made it here." <3 So that felt so cool to almost see on screen for a moment. Another example was actually in Shu Han, when Nina grips Kaz's bare hand and he immediately drowns. This is exactly the same thing that happens in DWOD but with Sharya Ghafa (inej's mother) before he confides in her parents about his sickness (ch.76, I believe). It was another moment I felt like seeing a moment of DWOD on screen, even a heart-breaking instance. <3 A third example was actually with Pekka. Having him get a final glimpse of his son, Alby, was not in the books. It was in DWOD though. I literally wish I could be in the writer's room with them for the SoC spinoff or S3. I'd sit on the floor for real.

4.) I think in this iteration of the story, it makes perfect sense for Inej to leave earlier than she might have in the books. Inej's brother is out there, and of course she would want to go find him at any cost & as soon as possible. <3 This change feels completely in character to me.

5.) Tolya and Inej... I could write a novel. BUT, to keep this short. I interpreted Tolya as are/ace in the books, and if that is in fact a correct interpretation, then I personally believe that representation should STAY. Aro/ace rep is hard to come by already & I really hope they would not change his character just to maximize drama. So, I think that look can easily be read as respect, kinship. Nothing more. However, if I am wrong, I think there is a lot they could do with that, specifically a correctional sort of route to bring Inej's story to the forefront with Kaz's.

I know I am long winded, so I am sorry for the novel <3 I'm just excited to talk with you all about our fandom<3 Thank you again for being here!

ps- You are too sweet. Ily. Raven works, though for those who don't know, it's actually a penname I chose when beginning to post! My real name is Anna, and that works too. <3

ALSO I do have a three part review of the show up on my tiktok for those who are interested. It does go more in depth! (@ravenyenn19 on tiktok)

[quins-whump-stuff]

Introduction + Masterlist

Hellooo! I'm Quin (21, she/her). This is a sideblog.

General CW for this blog: it's whump. There will be writing about torture, captivity, dehumanization, etc. There will be specific CWs at the top of every post.

Please feel free to submit any requests/ideas (Anonymous asks will ALWAYS be on), whether or not I answer is up to my discretion, but I will consider most anything as long as it does not involve one of my squicks. I may reblog stuff that involves my squicks, but I won't write them.

My favorite whump tropes include:

pet whump

vampire whump

tiny whump

My squicks include:

Certain things involving the ability to breath. (Choking or waterboarding don't bother me, drowning REALLY does)

Eyes. Most kinds of eye whump or eye gore are a big no-no for me.

Some hand whump including degloving

I'm not perfect! If there are ever any CWs missing from my stuff, please let me know and I will add it! Masterlist

One-offs

You Win. | Dinner time | Embroidery |

982

Pet 982 is a human pet who was born, raised, and trained to be the perfect pet, but her new owner is nothing like she expected... Contents: institutionalized pet whump, conditioned whumpee, dehumanization, and what I'm calling an imperfect caretaker. More specific CWs at the beginning of each chapter, always! Ch 1: Pet 982 | Ch 2: Ainsley | Ch 3: Willow | Ch 4: Not Again | Ch 5: Unexpected | Ch 6: Goodnight | Characters

[shinogi-xx]

Arc 1 Babey (someday I will even name the arcs. How about that.)

ch 1 (Show Me What I'm Looking For) AKA Misery Business (lets take it from the top) ok so. I still think its hilarious that this is the only moment in the entire story that I broke my narrator, but the foreshadowing at the end is genuinely one of my favorite things about this story to this DAY. I think its fine because its the first chapter, like, its the introductory, it's okay to break some rules... but man, all for ONE LINE! (me breaking my narrator bc the story is written in third person limited with only Kei's thoughts and emotions known-- but then I just decide you know what. I'm just gonna tell you right now. That man doesn't know what he's gonna do, and the narrator also knows that) (because anything for the foreshadowing babey) But anyway the rest of the chapter is fine. I always feel like it needs more... something, but I don't know what.

ch 2 (Red Sky Warning) finding SPELLING MISTAKES THIS LATE IN THE GAME I DON'T UNDERSTAND??? I'm literally just making up words and not even in the good way-- Anyway that man in this chapter makes me want to shove an entire pillow in my mouth (shoves down lustful thoughts). I think I don't have very much to say because, after I did some serious rework of this one waaay back and then the little touches up since, it's definitely the strongest of like, the very early chapters. At least IMO, like, I think the emotions come across well, and Kei's motivations feel real here. I hope her desperate and grief stricken actions feel understandable, and you get the sense that she's willing to throw away *everything*. Maybe I just like being in his car

ch 3 (Walk On Water Or Drown) "iS tHiS LiKe YouR hEadQuArtErs Or SomEtHiNG?" --Kei X019 everybody!!! THIS BITHC IS STUPID she has not watched 1 mafia piece of media in her goddamn life and it shows. First how fucking hard she lowballed that hit and now this. What a goof. What's really funny about this chapter is that it gets so... randomly silly once that man and Rio are together and yet. that is the most in character thing about this entire story and I can't change it and I don't know what else to tell you. They are silly. But like before that I do really like how this chapter opens-- not crazy about it after that. Like I know I definitely had to have said this last time, but that ending needs some serious work. It doesn't do her thoughts or feelings justice in the slightest and feels like the most fanfiction shit ever. I'll make a note to really try and fix it before the next chapter reupload.

ch 4 (Last Hope) I deadass had to stop reading for a sec because like... what the fuck is this chapter :HA: fr,,, it feels so random. What is happening. Why am I only just feeling like this whole thing needs to be thrown out LOL I think I was in denial before because I didn't want to rewrite it and you know what. that's valid as fuck because I still don't wanna do that. Except for literally the very end where she realizes he was just driving around so she could vent rather than going directly to her place and cutting it short-- THAT is actually really cute and they win couple of the year already goodnight In all seriousness this chapter is just an exposition dump and its done in a silly way. Like I need to change how he just randomly happens to see her *from his car* and then actually, expand upon the fact that SHE WAS BEING FOLLOWED BY A MAN IN A RED HOODIE? like that never comes up again and it absolutely fucking should :HA: I have no idea how to make her finding out about his secret rap career any less silly either so that might just stay tbh. but also who am I kidding because am I really ever going to fix this shit--

ch 5 (Make Your Move) I like this chapter even though its not great and you know what... sometimes that's all that matters folks. Frfr though, I do actually think that things have been progressing well for their relationship, it's these little moments where they see each other in a new light, or suddenly realize there's a connection, these little threads are starting to weave them together and that aspect of the story I think I'm getting across pretty well. But deadass its a little frustrating to read because, the way I can see these events happening in my mind is so much more serious and stylish and Makes Sense more than how I've written it and man THAT is what is most frustrating about these earlier chapters I think. Like, I'm reading it thinking "noo you don't understand, I know the 75483798 layers of context that makes this work" but where is it in the story huh?

ch 6 (Camisado) I've always felt like this was the first REAL chapter of the story. Like, finally we have plot progression and the writing picks up and things begin to feel more cohesive. The first 5 chapters are so spotty and its something that seeps down to the bones of the writing. But this chapter finally feels better to read, for all sorts of reasons. I love you rising action and traumatic experience, thank you for your service.

ch 7 (Too Close) ahhh yes... I love this one! I think the subtlety of his actions make it clear that he's struggling to balance what their relationship is becoming. He wants to be there for her after this horrible experience, but he knows that he shouldn't get too close. He knows that what happened was too close of a call, and he knows that she's already letting herself get too close to him (haha ok I'll stoP). I began to wonder why nobody at the police station actually took Kei's coat for evidence but then I was like... no why would they? They don't need evidence, they all saw what happened :HA: Rio killed him jdfksa but it's okay because it was a government sanctioned killing /sparkle sparkle I like to imagine Jyuto coming out of the station though and just seeing the coat on the ground like "he just left this here..." Yes he did. Also very important to note these chapters are so good because Jyuto is finally in them and that's also why its the first REAL part of the story haha ok goodnight

END OF ARC 1!

yearly SaKe re-read post

because I've finally been working on chapter 21's outline again, and my last full read through was over a year ago and didn't include 19 & 20. If I'm going to attempt to start 21's document, I'm gonna need to get everything really fresh again first. Which also means: I dissect shit again, and blog about it. (I swear it helps with the process) (but it also just scratches my brain really nice) Also to note, I'm gonna be editing again. Maybe even tackling some of the bigger issues with the story that have bugged me but would be a project in itself. We'll see.

Notes from last time (for ease of access): here

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Touch of Glass ch.5

In between midnight

Masterlist, Prologue, chapter 6

Taglist: @dvlsxx @willowaudreykeyes

TW: mentions of death, limb execution, eye gouging swearing

Alastor was quiet for a moment, before he answered. " I think I would go to Maine." He said. It was odd, the way he said his answer. Almost as if he wasn't sure. But the smile on his face never changed.

" Really? Why there?" I asked. I would have thought he would want to go to another continent or something of the sort. But apparently not.

" Most of my family is there. They decided to move away from here. I could never leave though." Alastor said, before our food was placed in front of us. He picked up his fork and knife and began to dig into his food.

" How large is your family?" I asked, before he stuffed a piece of food into his mouth. I waited, as he chewed down his food.

"Well, there's my mother, I have three younger sisters, and I had a younger brother." Alastor said, before I nodded.

" Do you mind if I ask about your brother?" i asked, before he was silent for a moment before he went back to cutting his food.

" No, I don't. I presume your curious as to why I say I 'had' a brother." Alastor said, before I nodded in response. He sighed and leaned back into his seat. " A few years ago, my mother took in my younger cousin, who was the son of my uncle, who died. My younger cousin was about five or six when we took him in, and he lived with us for about seven months, before he had gone swimming with my younger sisters. He drowned in a lake in the forest. My sisters were careless, and left him there while they were leaving with they're friends. His foot had gotten stuck at the bottom while swimming, and they didn't notice he was gone until they had came back home that my mother asked where he was. When we all went back to the lake, he was underwater, and heavy but lifeless, and we had tried everything to get him back. But he was already gone. There was nothing we could do. My sisters still feel guilty to this day. But no one dares to speak of it, let alone bring it up. Almost like he's a forgotten memory." Alastor said, but he didn't seem the slightest bit of sad. Like if this was some random kid he was talking about. It was odd, but I didn't say much.

" I'm very sorry for your loss." I said, before Alastor waved his hand dismissively. " don't be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong. You were just curious that's all. Besides, who could blame you. You hear about something and you just have to ask right?" Alastor said, and I nodded instead of giving him a verbal answer. " Eat dear, your food's going to get cold." Alastor said, nodding towards my plate, that I hadn't touched at all." I looked down and picked up my fork, begging my meal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

We had talked for hours. The restaurant, from what Alastor had told me, normally closed at around four in the morning. We had stayed to about half past three in the morning, dancing to the band that the restaurant had playing. By the time we had left my feet were aching but there was joy and excitement soaring through my heart.

" Oh that was just wonderful! I don't think I've ever danced so much in my life! I don't think I've ever danced at all! But that was just fantastic!" I said, as we walked down the street. Alastor was a few steps behind me while I spun and twirled as we walked down the street.

" I'm pleased to know you enjoyed yourself dear. Jazz is the heart of this town, and you might just be the heart of me." He said, as he took my hand and twirled me. I laughed as we chaotically made our way down the street, laughing and giggling along the way.

" I had the most joyful time, really it was wonderful! Thank you so much for taking me out tonight." I said, as was stopped spinning so much, and just swaying.

" I'm grateful that you agreed to join me tonight. Definitely a lot better than the family dinners." Alastor said, and I laughed at his remarks.

" Are my family dinners that bad? Should I be concerned?" I asked him jokingly, before he chuckled and pressed his forehead against mine, our nose's almost touching. I laughed at the proximity of our faces and wondered if my father had set this up to get me used to this town. But if this was going to be happening a lot around here, I don't think I'd ever be going back home.

" They're not horrible, they're just. Very tense." Alastor said, his voice now a hushed whisper, but the joking smile on his face never fading in the slightest.

" Care to explain? Or are you going to leave me to find out for myself? I asked him, and he chuckled before settling his arms around my waist.

" Well, for starters, your grandmother is definitely one of manners. I respect her for it." Alastor said, before I nodded and silently urged him to continue. " Your father talks a lot, and loud too, especially when intoxicated." Alastor said, before I chuckled. I wasn't too surprised. His colleges seemed to be heavy drinkers, I assumed it was right to group him with them as well. " Janice is a sweetheart, kindest girl you'll ever meet. Just like her mother, Molly. Charles is a little stern, but he cracks a smile once in a while." Alastor said, as I laughed and nodded along with him. " Your sister is rather, clingy, but I assume that's how most teenagers are." Alastor said, which had caught my attention.

" Clingy? How so? To me she seems more, rude. Very impolite." I say to him, before he nods and continues.

" I've had dinner with your family quite a few times. Most of the time I sit across from your father, but I assume the arrangement of seats has changed since your arrival, but because I would sit across from him, it left me next to Almarice, and she would just talk the entire dinner. Hell, I couldn't even get a word in with your father! She just kept going! Girl practically talked my ear off, but she seemed to enjoy herself." Alastor said, before I nodded, the smile on my face fading. Was my sister really that, talkative? She was dead silent when Alastor had came over for lunch earlier today. Maybe it was because I had taken her seat.

" What did she talk about?" I asked, now genuinely curious.

" I can't remember. In reality, I wasn't paying attention to a thing she said. Unlike you, she only talked about things that were relevant to her. I don't think she could've cared less about what I had to say." Alastor said thoughtfully. I let out a quiet 'hm'

" So are you saying I talk about things that are relevant to you?" I asked, before he laughed and spun me around again.

" Not only me, but you too. Your more, considerate. If I'm being honest, she seems to be just a little, desperate." Alastor said, before I nodded along with him. I didn't know her that well, and she didn't seem to want to get to know me before. I was about to answer when a large gust of wind had appeared. It was cold, and sudden. I hadn't prepared for it. Next thing I knew, papers were flying everywhere. I laughed however, the suddenness of it all was too much for me to take. When the wind calmed down, Alastor and I were left surrounded by pieces of newspapers. I bent down, begging to pick them up, Alastor following suit. I stopped, when a headline of an article came into view.

' Six more bodies found near lake. Lafayette Killer strikes again.'

I felt the need to put it down, to act like I had never seen it. But it was so difficult not too, when this was the towns newspaper.

" What is this?" I asked, standing up and handing the paper to Alastor, who's eyes seemed to read over the headline carelessly.

" Apparently there have been murders going on. I've heard about it, simply because I need to report it. The details are gruesome, so please don't worry your pretty head about it." Alastor said, crumpling the paper into a ball and tossing it behind him. I felt uneasy, as if there was more to it, but chose not to ask. We continued picking up the papers, and the headline kept appearing.

'Six more bodies found near lake. Lafayette Killer strikes again.'

'Six more bodies found near lake. Lafayette Killer strikes again.'

'Six more bodies found near lake. Lafayette Killer strikes again.'

'Six more bodies found near lake. Lafayette Killer strikes again.'

'Six more bodies found near lake. Lafayette Killer strikes again.'

" How many bodies have there been?" I asked. I couldn't get the headline out of my mind, not when it was all over the place. I couldn't. Like if it was begging me to ask. I just had too.

" Dear didn't I-" Alastor began.

" I know what you said, but I just need to know. It's hard to ignore something when it's right in front of you." I said, before he was silent. He didn't argue with me there.

" Fine. There have been five other bodies before these six. In total, there's about eleven now. They've been in the area, but mainly in the forest, so none of the towns people are too worried." Alastor said, taking the papers from my hands. He walked to sit on a nearby bench. He straightened the papers out as I sat next to him on the bench. " It doesn't take much to catch your attention does it?" Alastor asked, before I scoffed.

" Is that an insult?" I asked tauntingly. He shook his head setting the papers aside.

" Not at all. A good thing actually. It means you have a good eye. I didn't think you would be interested in this sort of thing. People here have been trying to hide it more than anything." Alastor said, a small chuckle following after his sentence.

" Murder has been common in London for some time now. Crime in general is common. But as far as I know nothing like this." I said, before Alastor suddenly shot up. " Is something wrong?" I asked, before he turned to me with a large smile on his face.

" You should come with me, to my booth. I have all the information from the case. To report it of course." Alastor said, and I nodded. " You seem to be curious, and personally, I've been curious as well." Alastor said, before he began leading me the way to his booth.

●▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬๑⇩⇩๑▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬●

By the time we had gotten to his booth it had been almost an hour before midnight. His booth was large, almost like a flat. There all kinds of CD's and microphones. There was a bookshelf and couches, a desk. Almost as if he had lived here.

" Make yourself comfortable. There's a coffee machine near the table. Unless your more of a tea person." Alastor said, as I followed to where he had directed me too. Near his desk was a small table, a small box with tea bags and some caffeine. I started preparing tea for myself, while I hear Alastor rustling for something.

" Found it!" He said enthusiastically as he waved a small folder around. He sat down on the couch and opened the folder, placing papers on a round coffee table. I had quickly set my cup of tea down, watching him go through the papers quickly.

" When I first caught wind of the the police wanted people to be on the lookout for potential suspects. Someone who was older, maybe in their late twenty's to early thirties. A white male they assumed, and they figured he probably had some hatred for women, until he started killing men too." Alastor said, his brows knitted in concentration as he arranged the documents. " The first murder was about seven months ago, November 15th. The police found two girls dead, about fourteen and fifteen. They were prostitutes. They were found in a field, where an old building used to be. They were both blonde, kind of short. Wearing a typical small skirt and a shirt that looked like they cut it with a pair of scissors. " Alastor said, a hint of disgust in his voice. I picked up one of the photos and felt my stomach turn at the gruesome sight. The two girls had limbs missing, as well as they're eyes gouged out. Alastor took the photo from me, and stuffed it underneath a stack of papers.

" They're quite disturbing. Some of the body parts were missing. The police assume that the killer took them as a way to remember the murder. Though taking someones limb seems like an odd trophy to have, let alone want." Alastor said, before setting down a few pages. " This is the information I told the public. I was the first to speak about it, so they needed to look it over." Alastor said, and I nodded in understanding.

" Do they have an idea of who it might be?" I asked, before Alastor nodded.

" They think it's a business man, Valentino." At that my eyes widened. Valentino? The man my father had worked with? It made sense, he was very suspicious, but also very touchy.

" But why would he kill ma-" I said, before Alastor stopped me.

" He's in... the closet. Though we all know he controls his urges somehow." Alastor said, before looking back down to the pages.

" This explains so much." I said, my mind now going in circles. Alastor raised his brow at my comment, the look on his face urging me to continue.

" When I had gotten here, my father said he had some things to take care of. He brought me into the building I assume he worked in, and I was watching the police talk about the murders. But I think it was a different killer."I said, before Alastor nodded.

" There's another." He said, before my eyebrows raised. So now there were two?"

" There are two? Are the police any close to catching the other?" I asked, before Alastor shook his head.

" They aren't even close, but I guess it's alright. One of them has just, disappeared." He said, as if it was normal.

" How does one just disappear?" I asked, before he shook his head. He grabbed another file out of a nearby box.

" I've been doing my own research on this other killer. The police didn't tell me about him, but I was hearing about it on the radio." Alastor said, before he flipped a couple of pages. " They said they had a suspect in mind and then after that it was like they never spoke of the case again. I asked the chief of police, Charles, your aunts husband, and he said that he'd rather not speak of it. I didn't ask again, but it's clear something happened." Alastor said, and I nodded in agreement.

" What if I ask my aunt? She's his wife, he must have told her." I said to Alastor, before his eyes went wide with excitement.

" That sounds excellent." He said.

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸

By the time I had left Alastor's booth and had gotten home it was about a quarter to eight. I wasn't sure if anyone home was up, so I had knocked on the door. Alastor and I had stayed up all night going through case files. My heels were in my hand, and a case file in the other. In the end, we agreed to take half of both cases, this way we could do our own investigating, and meet up over lunch to talk about anything we had found. The door opened and I saw Peter who was standing there. The look on his face made it seem like he was happy to see me.

" Good morning. Glad to see you made it back safe and well." Peter said, opening the door wider for me to step into the house. I nodded back to him and smiled. " Did you enjoy yourself?" Peter asked and I smiled and turned to face him.

" I had the best night ever. Really it was wonderful." I said, before Peter's eyes glanced to the folder I was holding.

" What is that?" He asked, before I shook my head and held the folder closer.

" Nothing nothing, just something Mr. Lucian gave me." I said, before I looked up to the top of the staircase to see Almarice and Janice staring down at me.

" Good morning! How was last night?" Janice said, bouncing down the stairs towards me. I smiled at her question.

" It was wonderful really. I had a great time. My feet are killing me though, absolutely dreadful pain." I said, before Janice took my heels from me.

" Oh then let's get you upstairs. You must be so tired and- wait a minute." Janice said, before she stared at me for a long moment. " Where's your coat?" She asked me, before it was then I realized that I had came home without it.

" Oh, I must have left it in Mr. Lucian's booth." I said, before Janice's eyes went wide.

" YOU GOT TO GO WITH HIM TO-" I quickly put my hand over her mouth.

" Janice, it's early, please don't shout." I said, before she nodded frantically, taking my hand off her face.

" Mr. Lucian never takes anyone there. Unless it's your father for work, but other than that, he's obsessed with keeping people out. He says it's his 'safe space'." Janice told me, and I let out a small 'hm' in response.

" Why don't we go upstairs? I believe you had a long night. Then you can join us for breakfast." Peter said, before I nodded.

" Thank you, but I already eat breakfast." I said, before his eyes widened in shock. Quickly, he collected himself before nodding.

" What did you have? Was it fancy? Did Mr.Lucian pay? What did he say when you two were here? Did he leave right away?" Janice asked as she followed me up the stairs, Peter and Almarice following behind her.

" One question at a time, please. I'm exhausted." I said, as we made our way down the hall leading to my room. I opened the door as Janice set the shoes down near my vanity. Peter walked into the bathroom, presumably to get a bath started for me. Almarice stood in the doorway as Janice sat on my bed.

" Tell me everything. I need to know." Janice said excitedly. I smiled at her before I began to tie my hair up.

" Can you wait until after I freshen up? And perhaps maybe let me rest a little bit. My mind is a bit foggy right now. I need some alone time." I said, before Janice nodded. She stood up from my bed and walked towards the door.

" Well, if you need anything, just go to the study. That's where my mom normally is, she can tell you where I am. C'mon Marice." Janice said, pulling Almarice by her wrist and out the door. I laid on my bed and sighed. I didn't think an outing with Alastor would be that long.

" Your bath is ready miss." Peter said, as I sat up. I nodded to him as a thank you, and walked into the bathroom. Already, there was an outfit laid out for me with a note on top.

' I went through your luggage, I hope you don't mind. I noticed most of your dresses are rather long and figured you could wear this one instead. It was mine when I was your age and I think it'll look dazzling on you. Give it a try! Love you! P.S how was your little date?~ Love always, Aunt Molly.'

I smiled as I finished the note. The dress was nice, ironed and tailored perfectly too. I undressed and got into the bathtub, feeling all the nerves and muscles in my body unwind with the help of the water. I rested the back of my head on the rim of the tub, shutting my eyes to enjoy the warmth of the bathtub.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

I couldn't breathe. Like if every breath I took was making my lungs burst. I tried, I really did but I couldn't. I felt like my heart was in my throat, but the adrenaline in me wouldn't allow me to stop. I had to keep going. I had too. I couldn't stop. Since when was I running in the woods. How had I even gotten here?

" I'm gonna get you! Run all you want I'll still be right here!" He yelled, and I couldn't figure out who was speaking to me. I wanted to look back but knew I would fall if I did, so I suppressed the urge as much as possible.

" Leave me alone!" I had screamed back, but the laugh had echoed through the forest. Like if it was surrounding me. It was almost like if it was, static. Like a broken radio. An audience laugh broke out, like if it was fake.

" You think it's that easy doe? You'd have to be a fool to think your gonna get away from me." He said, and I had tried so hard to figure out who it was. I just couldn't. Static erupted in the background again.

" Just go away! Who are you?" I had asked, now seeing an opening in between the trees. This was it. Finally I could make it out. I had so much hope then. Running with all the energy I could muster. I thought I was safe. I thought I was finally okay. Until I felt the ground shake. The world around me, everything, was glitching. As if it was breaking.

" You can't run from me forever." He said, before the laughter had came back again. This time louder than before. The static was louder than everything else in the background. I couldn't move. There was no where for me to go. I felt light headed, as if I was going to pass out. I dropped to the ground, watching my vision blur and everything around me fade to blobs of color, before all I could see was red.

Red. Just red.

[complementaryhalves]

⭐ fics masterpost 🌙

Hi! My name's Ce I write on Ao3 as misanthropymuse!

Just started writing for F1 RPF (charlos and landoscar). Older fandoms include star wars, asoiaf and les mis.

Links and descriptions under the cut.

Enjoy!! 💕👌

⭐ F1 RPF:

and the stars, they all aligned: norstappen+landoscar, unofficial winner's room post-Zandvoort 2024. sex between friends, cuckolding, fluff and smut (11,343) [post]

just embrace the fall: landoscar, post-HUN'24 h/c, porn with feelings, fluff, light angst (4,953) [post]

i think i found a part of me beside you: landoscar, multichapter, slow burn, mutual pining, orgasm edging/denial, oscar has a sexuality crisis (65,683; ongoing) [post]

like catching lightning: charlos, best friends charles & pierre, non-drivers au, meet-cute with hints of soulmatism (11,284) [post]

soft spot: landoscar, fluff, napping together, feelings realization (1,756) [post]

⭐ Star Wars:

ci serve la tempesta per ricostruire: obianidala, angst, obi-wan has post-sex regrets and padmé talks him down from them (3,662)

take a little time: established obianidala, pwp with feelings, pegging, spitroasting, deepthroating, light dom/sub play, sub+bottom anakin (13,354)

promises, promises: established obikin, fluff & smut & banter (2/2, 7,602)

find me holding my breath for you: established obikin, sickfic, emotional h/c (1,565)

the tidal pain of wanting: obikin, tcw era, friends to fwb to lovers, smut, angst with a happy ending (ongoing series)

and if you do grab on, then everything trembles: smut and angst, self-hatred, shame, handjobs (6,437)

my crumpled spine and faulty lines: overthinking, self-doubt, smut and angst, anal sex (bottom obi-wan) (12,822)

the sea speaks more honestly to those willing to drown:

Ch. 1: banter, mild smut, cuddling, feelings realisation (12,405).

Ch. 2: porn with feelings, angst (10,886).

there are sunlit uplands around the riverbend: obikin & friends, everyone lives au, fluff, slice of life (5 os as chapters, completed, 9,346 words)

a post-mortem portrait of loneliness: obi-wan exile fic, unrequited obikin, angst, introspective (6,509)

godzilla: obikin, modern au (ongoing, on hiatus)

with such a sense of radiance: obikin established, tcw era, fluff without plot (3,224)

starlight in the gloom: obi-wan exile fic, obi & ani, introspective, angst (1182)

crack the shutters: obikin established, post PT, everyone lives, porn without plot, fluff, bottom obi-wan (3,574)

coming quietly undone: obikin established, tcw era, shower sex, bottom anakin (7,680)

consign me not to darkness: unrequited obikin/obi & ani, post-kadavo, fluff (2362)

how I let you slip away: obi-wan exile fic, obi & ani, angst, introspective (5,285)

accident without emergency: obikin, first time, 18yo anakin, smut, bottom anakin (4,863)

⭐ Les Miserables:

Bahorel/Feuilly: Home Run; Soft bro fun; Cleaning the pipes

Enjoltaire: like gods at the dawning of the world; 'Aube sur la Seine'; And every breath we drew was Hallelujah; Swirling clouds in violet haze; Scars; As if you were on fire from within.

Montponine: Pretend you never did

⭐ ASOIAF:

Robb/Jon: The colors that I can't change (modern au); Think of me; Wavering Words; Wasn't I helpful?

Jaime/Loras: Golden hair and golden eyes (series, 4 parts); Not goodbye

Ashara/Eddard: the inebriating smell of purple (modern au)

Renly/Loras: Of steam and moans; Give me an order not to obey.

Robert/Eddard: I just want to be your lover.

Sansa/Tyrion: Home.

🌙 Notable others:

Good Omens: Aziraphale/Crowley - we pick ourselves undone

Suburra: Spadeliano - permanence; un centimetro di cuore

Teen Wolf: Sciles - I'm lucky to have you; That must mean something

And my masterpiece star trek/doctor who crossover: Oh, Captain: jack harkness/james kirk one night stand

[dynamoe]

Boy Genius on AO3 | Prologue | Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5

I've been drawing my theoretical concept for a Conjectural Technologies: ORIGINS spin-off for months, so I finally committed to putting words to it.

Your eyes will be better off reading on A03 but I'll post chapters here if it gets it to people who'd want to read this sort of thing.

↓ Chapter 1 is below the fold ↓

Fifteen years pass (more or less). Norman has Stormed. The Man from Hope gets inaugurated. Downtown LA smolders while the Balkans are sparking. And then this shit...

Chapter 1: I'm A Loser, Baby

“Fffzzztttt… just your average kids but--- chhhhh…. their parents say there’s a problem! Help! They’re teenagers now and wow, they’re out of control!”

Plink! A bottle cap ricocheted off to the upper left. Jenny remained unfazed, being as she was pre-recorded a thousand miles away in Chicago.

“Fffzzztt… to a MAKEOVER or it’s off to BOOTCAMP! Today, on the Jenny Jones Show….fzzzztt….”

A second bottle cap grazed Jenny Jones’s shoulder as she turned to a stage full of stewing parents sitting next to children in corpse paint, 12” platforms and spiked mohawks straight out of central casting for “miscellaneous dystopian thugs” in a Chuck Norris film.

Another bottle cap arced high and dinged off the bent-wire-hanger aerial, the static finally consuming the image entirely.

“Got it. Pretty fucking good for having no goddamn depth perception,” Billy slurred to an empty trailer, cracking open the last of the Zima four-pack. He rubbed the eyelid over his missing eye, no idea where his eyepatch went but didn’t care.

“’Zima’ means winter in Polish, Slovene, Slovak, Serbo-Croat, and Czech? There’s some fucking trivia for you,” he mumbled while choking down his 4th bottle of the day, trying not to think about how tasted like drinking scotch tape soaked in air freshener. Or like flat Sprite mixed with aluminum foil and rubbing alcohol. Zima was clear (all the best products were these days) and it was cheap. The TV commercial for Zima showed irreverent hip young people laughing with some loser in a dumb hat who couldn’t pronounce his esses right so maybe the product spoke to him. Most importantly, the product made him drunk. He laid back in his nest of empties and snack food and trash on the couch.

The door squeaked and rattled as Pete White struggled to open it with his foot, his arms full of packages. He staggered a few feet and he released his armload onto the kitchenette counter into a postal landslide. He turned back to notice Billy on the couch where he had left him— unshowered, unshaved, in the same dirty clothes, scowling with a smoldering cigarette hanging off his lip.

“Encounter: level 12 Alcoholic Divorced Dad Dwarf of Middle Earth. Plus-one against child support.”

“Ugh. Shut up,” Billy muttered as flicked ash into a branded Conjectural Technologies coffee mug. One of 500 White had ordered to “get their name out there,” and then left in a pile in the storage closet.

“Aw, Jeeze,” Pete grumbled, fanning the smokey air with last month’s issue Sassy from the mail pile, “You know it’ll be impossible to get the smell out of the curtains. Do you have to smoke in here? Huh?”

“Do you have to put magnetic poetry all over my hand when I’m sleeping?” Billy angrily raised his magnet-crusted mechanical hand, shedding “majestic” “symphony” and “purple” as he moved it.

White smirked, internally delighted, “I couldn’t find a pen so I was leaving you a note reminding you to get a haircut. I feel like I’m living with a scale model of Snake Pliskin.”

“WhatEVER,” Billy snarled. He didn’t disagree his long greasy hair made him look like an Irish Setter drowning in Crisco but what did it matter? Nothing mattered.

White frowned. “You’re really harshing the dynamics of our double act, pally, with this self-pity thing. I can’t play dryly acerbic without a naive optimist to play off of, y’know.”

“I’m just…” Billy killed the last of the bottle and pitched it weakly into the pile, his anger drained, “You know if I went to MIT like I planned to I would have graduated this summer.”

He flicked “languid” and “cacophony” off his wrist, “Maybe I’d even have a doctorate, too. I dunno.”

White busied himself with the mail. Billy wasn’t throwing out accusations yet but his train of thought could turn ugly for him depending how the ZIMA hit him.

“I was the greatest mind in a generation. What am I doing with my life?” Billy muttered, staring at the burning end of his cigarette. Melancholy, “I shelve books part-time at a public library! An ape could do my job,”

“An ape would probably do it better! Because they have longer arms. Oh, and they could climb the shelves!” White chimed in, “But they’d probably, like, crap everywhere so that’s a minus.”

“Nights I wash fucking dishes at a ‘50s-themed diner in a mall.” A sudden rage, “A WILDLY INACCURATE ‘50s-themed diner!” He jumped to his feet.

“We Built This City on Rock & Roll — released 1985 by Starship — does not belong on the house music! ‘Chicken fingers’— invented 1976 in Savannah, GA — do not exist in 1955! I tell the general manager all the time, but does he care? Where’s the stifling suburban malaise? Where’s the simmering feeling of nuclear dread? This so-called ‘theme’ your institution perpetrates is willful disinformation!”

White relaxed; this rant could go on for hours and he wasn’t the target.

Billy concluded, “Being an adult SUCKS.”

“Takes most people more than a year into it to figure that out. Still a genius. Congratulations, Billy,” White said.

Billy sighed, exhausted again. He crawled back to the couch.

“I finally cleared out the PO Box.,” White said, indicating the packages on the kitchen counter.

“Mine. Mine. Mine,” White claimed a stack of music mags and mailers from bedroom record labels out of the mail pile. He tapped a box from a scientific supply warehouse, “That’s probably the catalyst solution we ordered for the mind control experiment.” He found a couple padded envelopes in the pile and shook them, “VHS tapes. From your internet super highway nerd friends. Go soak in nostalgia. Get the stink off you.”

Billy perked up slightly. White raised his arm to toss them over but Billy shrieked, “No! Don’t! You’ll damage them.”

White rolled his eyes, and walked the packages to the couch, “They made it through the mail from —” he checked the labels “— Murfreesboro just fine. They’re not going to break eight feet from me to you.” He stacked the envelopes on the top of Billy’s head and joined him on the couch.

White sorted the remaining mail into piles. More supplies for Conjectural Technologies projects. Bills. Catalogues. Another letter from Billy’s mother — oof, save that for later. He wanted to keep Billy’s mood up for as long as possible. He pocketed it.

“Whoa,” gasped White.

“What?” muttered Billy, tearing open the first envelope.

“We got an invitation from the World Super Science Forum,” White said, puzzled. A glossy brochure as nearly big as a Trapper Keeper slid out of the envelope, sparkling with metallic ink. It looked like a wedding invitation for a giant who also happened to be an art director.

“As if,” Billy scoffed without even looking up from his coveted “105: The Ticking Monkey. Long Edit. KTLA Cartoon Cavalcade. NOTE: Missing Closing Credits'' VHS tape. All the heavy negotiation on the alt.fan.rustyventure USENET group to set up this trade had finally paid off.

“It’s gotta be the sign,” White gestured to the ceiling, above which $700 ($1344 today) of neon he commissioned to flash their company name to a rarely-traveled backroad in the middle of the desert, tripling their electricity bill. “Neon demands respect.”

Billy was a million miles away, squinting at the tape’s edges for potential cracks in transit and mentally tabulating how many more episodes eluded his decades-long quest for a complete collection of the series.

“Word must be getting out about our…,” White beamed in salesman mode before stumbling on the landing, “Uh, work?”

Conjectural Technologies didn’t do shit and both of them knew it. But here was an invitation to the premier professional Super Science conference in the US.

“It’s in Seattle this year. That’s like the coolest city in the world right now.”

“Frasier lives there,” Billy said flatly. He was still woozy. Zima-drunk.

“It’s basically the new Vatican,” White agreed, “Ground zero for both the tech and expensive coffee industry and the home of ‘the Seattle sound.’”

“They throw fish. In the market,” Billy said, suddenly very sleepy. Why did he drink so much Zima? Oh, he remembered it was because he hated himself and his garbage-failure life.

White read through the brochure like a kid tearing into a Sears Christmas Wishbook, “Technology demos. Lectures. Hey, we’d get to go to an awards dinner at the top of the Space Needle. This looks so cool.”

“We should go,” Billy said, drifting into semi-consciousness.

“Yeah!” White turned to the final page of the invitation. Early registration - $550 ($1044 in today’s money) a person. Does not include airfare. “Oh.”

He showed Billy the price without speaking. They both sat silently. Living paycheck to paycheck, that was astronomically outside their budget.

“THIS is why Super Science is dying out,” Pete said angrily, slapping the brochure, “It’s like, you gotta be a legacy or already have a compound or a ton of government contracts to even pay for this shit. It’s MORIBUND! The same old scientists. Same old IDEAS. What about the scrappy independents on the fringes! THAT’s where the next big thing is coming from.”

“A lot of passion from a ‘scientist’ who does jack shit,” Billy snickered, half-asleep.

Pete looked at the brochure again, “It’s too bad we didn’t get invited earlier. It says here ‘Boy Genius’ admission is half-price.”

“Makes sense,” Billy muttered, “Trying to stem the tide of potential future science geniuses defecting to Silicon Valley. No kid even thinks about going into Super Science anymore.”

“AND their parent/guardian/sidekick/lab assistant can plus-one for free — I’m at least two of those!”

A pause.

“Just tell them I’m a kid.”

“Huh?”

“Register me as a ‘boy genius’ and take the discount.”

White was shocked, “You want to lie?”

“If they find out what can they do to us? Kick us out?”

“Did your high horse bolt the stable? Dishonesty from Baby Billy “I Never Do Anything Wrong” Whalen?”

“JUST LIE!” Billy shouted, “Register Conjectural Technologies for the Conference. One Boy Genius. One… whatever you are.”

Billy rolled over, looking green, “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

on archiveofourown.org Prologue | Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5

[spqromani]

One Piece Questions

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

If you are not up to date with the weekly release of manga chapters, don't read this!

This is a personal post, just to help me keep track of stuff while reading through it. But, feel welcome to enlighten me if you have a good answer to one of the questions!

CURRENT-PLACED

REVERIE/WANO

1. Somebody tell me what EXACTLY happened to Kuma?!

Why is he not with the Revolutionary Army? Why did he agree with Vegapunk to turn himself into a cyborg? WHY TF IS HE A SLAVE??? What is his connection with Bonney?

2. What happened at the Reverie?

Who died? Who almost got killed? Are Vivi and Sabo alright?????

ANSWER: ONE PIECE (#1054) So...... Sabo is doing more than just alright, he is an emperor himself now apparently... And like it was predicted, The World Govt. blamed Sabo for Vivi's father death, who was clearly killed by the Gorosei, and Sabo managed to declare war AND RESCUE KUMA??? Congratulations, my dude 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. BUT VIVI HAS GONE MISSING??? EXCUSE ME SIR BUT Why is nobody doing anything to find her???? That should be Fucking No.1 in the list of your priorities!!!!! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! If anything happens to Vivi, I'm slitting my wrists. Good fucking bye! 😡😡 (24/07/22)

3. What "new weapon" is the Navy in possession of that makes them not "need" the Shichibukai anymore?

4. Who did Shanks talk about to the Gorosei?

5. Did Dragon declare the war?

ANSWER: ONE PIECE (#1054) Like I said, war has been declared by the main man himself, Sabo, apparently The World's Protagonist according to the latest chain of events! He did his job right! And apparently, didn't get caught while doing it! Good for him! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 (24/07/22)

6. What are in the 7 chambers of Im-sama?

7. Who wants Vegapunk in Wano? Kaido or Orochi? Why?

8. Is Kaido going to die?

I think Kaido NEEDS to die to finish Wano’s arc. He must go down so the people from Wano can open their borders.

9. What is Kaido's and Yamato's race?

10. What is King's race?

ANSWER: (ONE PIECE #1033) King's a survivor of the Lunaria Tribe, that was extinct. A long time ago, they were called "gods". Apparently, King is super resistant and can survive to any circumstance (???). His wings catch fire, but he hasn't used them to fly until now, just like the skyfolk... (26/11/2021)

11. How are they going to open Wano's borders exactly? They are natural borders.

The reason why it’s so difficult to enter Wano is because of the geography surrounding the country. The island is on top of a mountain accessed by a waterfall that runs down, but the kois run it all the way up. Once you arrive upstairs, there is a whirlpool to drown ships. Even before climbing the mountain, we can see several ships broken apart by the whirlpools.

12. Are we going to see more of the Marines or Govt. in Wano?

Akainu says he’s not going there. But Sengoku planted a good question in his mind. Also, SWORD (X Drake) and CP0 are in Wano, already, apparently to confirm Who’s Who identity and death.

13. Why is Momonosuke's fruit a failure?

The reason why it was left behind in Punk Hazard was because Vegapunk considered it to be a failure. Now, during Wano, the CP0 brought it up again, saying “good it turned out to be a failure”.

14. How far goes Zoro's relation to Wano?

Apparently, Zoro would have a connection to the Shimotsuki family. We know the village Zoro is from is named Shimotsuki Village, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he is a descendant of the Shimotsukis because we have never seen Zoro’s biological parents.

ANSWER: (ONE PIECE #1033) Okay, so I'm happy Zoro is still an orphan with no super important parents that were never mentioned until it became relevant. Kuina's family is a branch of the Shimotsukis. Her grandfather, Kozaburo, forged Enma and left Wano to settle in the East Blue. And then Zoro ended up learning some stuff about swords with him. I loved that!! 😁😁 (26/11/2021)

15. What is Blackbeard after? (Ch. 956)

He says that if the Marine can get their hands on it, he could just take it for himself. I mean, in the translation I read, that’s what he says.

16. And what is his relation to Xebec?

Blackbeard is currently stationed in Hachinosu Island, which used to be the base for the Rocks Pirates. Also, his ship is named The Saber of Xebec.

17. What exactly happened at the God Valley Incident?

38 years ago, the Celestial Dragons and some slaves were at God Valley. To protect them from the Rocks Pirates, Garp and Roger fought together. Apparently, Rocks D. Xebec died during the incident. Also, Big Mom gave Kaidou his devil fruit during the incident.

Why is it not talked about? Why does the WG hide this as well? Why were the Celestial Dragons there? Why did Garp protect them even though he says he doesn’t like them? Why was Roger in the picture as well?

18. And how did it "vanish"?

Apparently, the island disappeared without leaving any trace behind. How did that happen? Who did that?

19. More about SWORD.

Do all SWORD members have an X scar? Does that make Fujitora a SWORD member, perhaps?

20. Where is the Road Poneglyph of Kaido?

So far, Law has found one, but since it doesn’t have the same greyish hue as the first one we see in Zou, it’s not a Road one. Also, Brook has found one poneglyph at Orochi’s Castle at the Flower Capital.

21. WTF did Luffy say that Roger said as well? (Ch.585/Ch.966)

22. Are we going to read anything from Oden's journal at the end of the arc?

I know that, technically, we did during his flashback, but I mean now that Yamato has the journal and gave it to Momo.

23. What did Roger tell Shanks in Lodestar? (Ch.968)

24. Why did he laugh?

25. What's up with this Sun God Nika thing?

Who’s Who says it is a legendary warrior who the slaves believed would free them one day, also that it’s laughs would cure their suffering. Was them made... of rubber?? (03/05/2022)

26. WHO'S WHO HAD THE GOMU GOMU NO MI???? SHANKS STOLE THE FRUIT???? AND WENT TO EAST BLUE???? WTF

ANSWER: It's not the Gomu Gomu no Mi. My life is a lie. (Ch.1044)

The other questions still stand tho. (03/05/2022)

27. Why did Zunesha come to Wano so suddenly? And Joy Boy is like a title and not the name of a person??

ANSWER: Apparently Zunesha was there to "open the borders" of Wano. How was it gonna do that? We will never know, Momonosuke sent it away. The other question still stands up.

POST TIME-SKIP

FISHMAN ISLAND • PUNK HAZARD • DRESSROSA • ZOU • WHOLE CAKE ISLAND

1. How the F is Luffy going to destroy Fishman Island?

2. What's up with Zoro's scar?

It’s been there forever and it’s never been hinted on. Also, nobody talks about it?? Like, have the others not realized he’s missing an eye this entire time?? Does nobody care enough to ask??

3. Why is Aokiji with the Blackbeard Pirates?

4. What secret(s) does Doflamingo know about Mariejois?

While I think that there is a possibility of it being about the D. name, just like Corazon had something to tell Law, I think he knows way more stuff.

5. What did Corazon mean exactly when he said "The D. are the natural enemies of the Gods"?

I don’t know, but it looks to me that there is something else there. Corazon reminds of a child talking about a nightmare, which makes sense because he was only a child when he left Mariejois and opposite to his brother, he had no intention to recover his connection to that place. So I feel like, this is not the whole information and we can get a full, more accurate view on this saying from Doflamingo, maybe?

6. Why did Fujitora blind himself?

7. Did Bellamy do anything against the Sky Island People? I don’t think so, but...

8. What happened in Baltigo?

9. Does Blackbeard want anything to do with the Revolutionary Army?

10. What crime did Zunesha commit?

11. Who sentenced it to walk forever? Was it other giant elephants? Or Wano people?

12. Why is Momo able to order Zunesha to do stuff??

13. Why did the Kozuki Family and the Minks make an alliance? Why not Wano and the Minks, but specifically the Kozukis?

14. Why do both Wano and Zou preach about the Dawn of the World?

15. What's up with Pudding's race, the third-eye tribe?

I know they are able to use the Voice of All Things to figure out what’s written in the poneglyphs, okay… But why does it work like that, their third eye? Why is that their special ability?

16. What’s the incident in Rocky Port with Law and Coby?

[ilikeyoubetterthisway]

Vol. 16 - The Romance Volume: A Ryuumo Analysis (with a bit of Rinshi)

Part 1.

Hello, I'm back again with another analysis. This time it will be about volume 16, and since it has so much content, I will need more than one post for it, je.

This analysis will explain how Vol. 16 is the romance volume. It will be specifically centered on Ryuumo (obviously), with a side of Rinshi, but with more focus on Ryuuji's feelings and his situation.

[I'm back from the dead with my Ryuumo posts jajaja. I think I will make this analysis around 5 or 6 posts in total. I will edit this out later too jeje. I also want to try out the edit and interlink feature thingy and I seriously need to fix my tumblr page, is a complete mess and school was killing me but now I'm more free, yassss, also, someone send help I have around 30 drafts saved and my a$$ is sitting on them doing notHing].

Anyways, enjoy~!!

The volume starts with ch. 68, Naked Festival, in which the gang and Shura go to the hot springs (courtesy of Mephisto), to relax after the great battle against the Illuminati in Inari. Here we have some debating of whether to trust Shima or not.

But the other main dilemma is that everyone realizes Shima is trying to spy on the girls. We have Ryuuji asking him what's his deal and why he's been acting so weird since they came there, and Shima answers that is because Izumo, Shiemi and Shura are all naked on the other side of the wall.

We know that this is typical Shima behavior (which shouldn't be normalized by the way), but is still acting according to his main traits, but what is important here is that, when Shima expressed what he wanted to do, Ryuuji didn't seem all that annoyed/angry like how he used to react to Shima's antics before.

Ryuuji seems to find strange, as well as looking confused, worried and panicked by Shima's persistence and willingness to go all the way to look at the girls.

But even despite all this, he no longer chastises him about having interest and/or desires over girls (even though he's still completely oppossed to that blatant display of harrasment).

He's hesitant, as well as Yukio and Konekomaru, to come closer to the three wise monkeys, once they find out they are the cause of this whole problem, and he's the one that actually dispells the influence the monkeys have over Rin and Shima.

But again, he is seemingly no longer oppossed to the harboring of interest and desire over girls, but still opts to keep those feelings, thoughts and desires hidden.

I wonder why the sudden change? What happened that could have provoked such a serious and deep change in Ryuuji's opinion about the topic?

A sudden realization of feelings over a certan girl..? To whom he was shown (during the entire duration of the last arc), to be brooding, angsty, worried, thinking, reacting, being vocal and snapping in tsundere behavior at her demeanor and petitions?

And once she was safe and recovering and witnessed her growth, development, honest feelings and purpose for becoming an exorcist, witnessing her real heart, soul and self, he stood there blushing in silent thought with a look of realization and acceptance?

I seriously wonder what could have been the reason for his sudden change over such a strong personal opinion and topic...

Pssst. He has developed feelings as well.

Also, on the last scene in the hot springs, we see that the wall actually broke down and ended with the girls staring at the guys and viceversa.

(Srry for the censorship, I don't wanna get banned or smt).

At first, I thought it wasn't that big of a deal since four of the guys were standing and looking, but upon analyzing it further, I realized this was just another Ryuumo and Rinshi moment, and just the beginning of the tense romantic (coughand spicinesscough) occasions in this volume.

For starters, Shima is being covered by the wall, half drowning-half fainted, the only ones with at least 80% of their bodies visible are Ryuuji and Rin, while Yukio and Konekomaru have like 30% of their bodies visible, this added to the fact that they don't seem to be the main focus of the panel compared to Ryuuji and Rin.

Now, I will be kind to remind you that both Yukio and Konekomaru wear glasses. Konekomaru could barely distinguish Shima against the wall and the girls are even further away, so it would have been pretty difficult for him to be able to see them.

We don't have a good long example of Yukio's eyesight but based on the character general info from the first volume, it says that he has extremely poor eyesight and in the spin-off manga, Salaryman Exorcist, Yukio couldn't even distinguish Rin in a costume less than 50cm (around 1.6ft.), away from him, so from this we can take that he has rlly bad eyesight and could not see the girls at that distance as well. So with Shima out of the picture, the only ones being able to actually see the girls are Ryuuji and Rin, the main love interests for them.

We skip to all of them sharing a tiring moment after the bath, with Ryuuji telling Rin that his feelings were pretty obvious. (Another moment of Ryuumo being aware and supporting Rinshi).

And then Mephisto looking amused from the results of having planned all this scandal. Meaning that he already knows something, he always knows something.

This covers the first chapter of the volume. I'm gonna skip the next one since is just plot driven and has nothing to do with da ships. And also, if you thought this was already long, buckle up because is barely starting.

Thank you for reading this far!! See you in the next part~~!!!

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

..."STAR-CROSSED LOVERS"??? YES.

Thank you so much @cheri-translates for translating Victor's SAND AND SEA DATE. You're an angel. 🥺🥺🥺

Now I'm gonna start blabbering since I've many feels about this date LOL~ 🙃

⚠️Warning: There are some spoilers regarding Victor storyline from the main story chapters that haven't been released in EN yet.

🌹

From "I won't save you a second time" [CH 1] to "I don’t need you to save me a second time." [The date in discussion]-- LOL as hilarious as this is, the irony.💯

Ngl this date felt like, the writers thinking since, under the context of the theme, the physical pain of time travel & crossing countless of dimensions & timelines is not possible-- let's just nearly kill him by spilling blood & dehydration but still we gotta nearly kill this man cause he wants to be in love.🙃

Idk why I'm getting so emotional LOL but there are so many call-backs I can remember on top of my head right now--

[The lines & moments from the date are indented & in bold letters.]

MC: "Victor, I’m helping you look for a water source. Let go!"

🌹 The sad broken cup scene from [CH 18-16], MC urging Victor to let go & him stubbornly refusing, until she gives in.

MC sacrificing herself to revive the river, part of it is to save Victor- other part of it is also for the greater good of the people in the city.

🌹 [CH 18-18] MC's monologue- "This time, put everything on my shoulder & let me be your hero one last time."

& sacrificing herself for the peace of the world even though it only made more chaos.

Victor releasing the hand that supported him at the edge & deciding to sacrifice himself with her. & the vow- "No matter what awaits you, I’ll be with you."

MC's monologue: "It turns out that no matter what the ending is, he’s willing to be with me."

[CH 18-28] Victor deciding to use the sundial watch one last time despite knowing that'd kill him for sure & might lead the world to perish as well. Dummy & Selfish in that moment. His final vow before MC disappeared, "No matter where you are, I'll always find you."

[CH 19-6 Dream World Victor route]

MC: "What if this really is a dream. Then what?"

Victor: "Then I'll turn it into reality."

[CH 25 phone call- In the Hospital]

"No matter what you are facing in other space-times...Wait for me."

[CH 36-10, after Victor returns from his 10K years time travel]

Victor: I thought you are never going to be afraid again?

His warm breath moistens my eyes. I inhale through my sore nose. Resisting the urge to bury my face in his chest, I look up, staring straight into his eyes-

MC: I will never be afraid again. Because you really came back. Victor is standing here before me like a treasure once lost and now found. What do I have to be afraid of?

Victor is stunned for a moment. The corners of his lips loosens a bit, while the contours of his face softened a lot. He raises his hand to wipe the wetness from the corner of my eyes.

Victor: It seems that this dummy has grown up a lot during this period. Listen carefully, I will never return to a world where you are not.

[CH 37 PV line]

"Whatever choice you make, I'll always be here."

[CH 37 karma by-line]

"I will accompany you on the road leading to the future."--

Basically the eternal insistence of him having an internal MC GPS tracker LOL ALWAYS being by her side.

Kidnapping incident.

🌹...[CH 30-7 to 30-10] Agio Street underground gambling den mission- wants to say a hello.🙋‍♀️

Abandoning the honor & glory of leading a comfortable life as a feudal lord to restore the river & to find the fateful couple, probably hoping to find his love too, but won't admit cause even if it's AU, he be like- "I'm still Victor" LOL

[CH 11 karma by-line]

"I won't let go of you & the world."

The physically-mentally painful exhausting wait & time travelling of 10K years, walking through endless dimensions & timelines, only to start from the very beginning every single time- hoping to find a way to save the world & protect the girl-- wants to say a hello too 🙋‍♀️

MC's monologue: Still, I want to have one more look at Victor… before leaving.

🌹 This specifically reminded me of a [CH 37-5 Victor split route] monologue from MC--

"It didn't matter what was waiting for me. I would face it with my head held high. Even so, I still wanted one last second...just one second. Let me call his name one more time...let me take a good look at him...just one last time..."

Victor: In that case, stay here. Stay by my side.

🌹 He has said the same sentence in different ways under various circumstances but one I can remember right now,

[CH 24-12 Black Cabin reunion]-- "But right now...Just stay by my side."

MC noting down how she always finds herself in his arms whenever she's fainting or getting in trouble. How Victor has been quietly taking care of her & protecting her. How the person before her walks in steady steps with forceful heartbeats.

When she was in her most depressing state [CH 18], he was there like the steady pillar of support, helping her in every way he could. He was pretty much the glue that kept her in one piece.

Again, in winter world, he stood by her side even as a stranger.

Not just these two incident, throughout the entire game, especially in the latter part of the story, they work together like partners, she learns to trust him with pretty much everything & they work through everything they can together.

Those few mentions in the date-- could be referred to how Victor has always been the constant source of warmth, encouragement, strength, support, protection in her life. No matter what world or when, he never really changes. He is still the same man. & His constant state IS choosing MC every single time.

Victor lies on the sand quietly, and it’s as though everything has returned to the beginning when we first met.

🌹 Indication towards how their storyline ALWAYS goes back to square one or comes in a full circle-- from Victor saving her from the car crash as a kid [& this being repeated many times afterwards, even in winter world], to the lightning incident [MC jumping in front of Victor both as a child & an adult], to both being in coma for week, staying in the hospital & taking care the entire time [MC in CH 11, Victor in CH 32], to stabbing each other countless times. [CH 18, CH 36-- & every other times Victor has seen those incidents happening before his eyes while time traveling.] *que tears*

🌹▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️🌹

I could possibly make a full blown essay which I already kinda have out of some other specific call-backs I can remember right now. Specifically the theme of the date being star-crossed lovers-

Legend tells of two lovers. Because of the pressures of their nations, they could not be together, and decided to drown themselves in a river for love.

Because of this, the River Goddess was enraged, and she cursed the land nourished by the river which was under her control. Since that day, the Socya River gradually dried up.

The Goddess left an exhortation-when the fateful couple reappears on this land, the river will be surge once again...

& This perfectly echoes the canon theme of Victor x MC storyline--

🌹 As in, Victor being someone who, objectively speaking, seemingly has everything & yet sacrificing practically everything--

[giving up over-seas university offers, staying in the city instead of moving abroad even though his business could be expanded more, relentless search of 17 years, appointing private detective for 6 years, building up Souvenir etc.]

--- to find MC & then in the mission of keeping her safe, even at the cost of his own existence. Trying everything beyond his limits to prevent the destined deaths of MC he has foreseen- from happening & it being doomed to no end every single time.

🌹 Every single time he had to give up the ONE thing he wanted to protect the most or wanted the most.

🌹 Both of them being so willing to put each other in the front line just to give each other happiness.

🌹 Another running theme of their storyline-- both of them keep losing each other countless times & then find each other again.

• Victor losing MC as a kid, finding her as an adult. Victor nearly losing her in CH 10.

• MC losing Victor due to the time rift in CH 14 & finding a way to contact each other through the sundial watch.

• Victor losing MC in CH 18 first-hand. MC leaving Victor behind in CH 19- dream world.

• CH 24 Black Cabin reunion & CH 27 OG timeline reunion

• MC nearly losing Victor in CH 32, due to him going to coma

• MC losing Victor in CH 34 due to Victor going on the time-travel journey of 10K years

• Final reunion in CH 36 [Then we have the journey to S2. But that's a whole new discussion.]

🌹So...both of them being able to truly be with each other is actually-- defying fate & writing their own destiny. *SOBS*

🌹I wanna end my blabbering with two precious moments from [CH 36- Victor split route] that echoes this theme even more.

MC: "I've always chased after your silhouette and I was never afraid. Because I know you'll always be there waiting for me. Victor, if you really disappear... I will be with you, and we will both be forgotten by the world."

MC's monologue: "Victor, once we have crossed countless dimensions and futures, and returned to each other’s embrace. If everything has to disappear with time, as dust into the wind... Then, I'm glad that we have our final promise."

[She's referring to the promise she made of being forgotten by the world to be with him & the promise Victor made earlier to never leave her again.]

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie