#fandom: mischief movie night in

[falldiewakefly]

the fate of Arthur Banks, the owner of all the banks

Alternative caption: the Mischief studio audience says 'one two three four, kill the rich feed the poor'

from Mischief Movie Night In: The Codfather

Bonus:

[norkea]

the power he holds to be able to pull this move in a theatre full of people.

From the latest Genre!

[smallbitterman]

and what if i wanted to make a Mischief Theatre themed zine where people can collab on art/writings of any form??

would people actually want to take part in that?

[jayniks]

Brought The Heat Back (s.jy)

Where you annoy your boyfriend Jake while he's on live.

WC . 0,8k

PAIRING . Idol!jake x girlfriend!reader

WARNINGS . SMUT (MDNI), blowjob (m reciving), tease, public sex if you think about it, handjob, blowjob, a bit of boobjob at the end.

MASTERLIST . enha

"'Jake, is it hot in there?' Actually, yes, a little," Jake stammered, licking his lips as he ran his hand through his hair, small strands of which were sticking to his forehead from the sweat. The live had started, how long ago? Half an hour? Probably more. Of course, it was summer in Korea, it would be reasonable to think that was the reason why he was sweating. However, that wasn't the reason, and Jake was trying to hide it as much as he could but he wasn't God's strongest warrior.

It all started as an innocent movie night where he brought his beloved girlfriend to his room (let's celebrate that now he doesn't have to share one!) to watch some movies before doing a live for Engene. At one point he left to look for the food he had left reheating and, when he returned to the room, he noticed that you were not in bed, but rather next to the desk. He chuckled before sitting down and turning on live to interact with his fandom while he ate. He thought you were going to eat next to him (without the camera seeing you) while he did his daily duties. Little did he know that you would end up eating just not what he thought.

After about 15 minutes interacting with his fandom you decided that you were bored, so you took advantage of a moment where he turned around to sneak unnoticed under the desk. Jake didn't panic until that moment, he was more worried that you had been noticed than what you were doing. He smiled as he read the comments, one caught his curiosity so he decided to read it, "'Jake, what's the best thing about having a room for──." He interrupted himself, dropping his smile as he felt your hands run from his knees, across his thighs, until you reached his waist, where you played with his belt without undoing it yet.

He swallowed dryly as he looked scared at the camera, realizing what he had gotten himself into. He tried to cover it up by saying that 'he had seen a spider', they were going to believe it anyway. Well, let's continue where we were. Jake continued to pretend that everything was fine while you unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants. He lowered his hand, pretending to drop some chopsticks to try to push you away, gently hitting you on the head as if he was saying 'stop, don't do it' while smiling awkwardly at the camera.

After reading some comments that were already noticing his strange behavior, he put his hands on the table again to start his 'date time with your idol' or something like that, I don't know, sometimes he gives his lives strange names... But continuing with Jake, he only managed to carry a few bites of food when he began to cough heavily to hide the moan he had repressed in his throat after you sucked on his tip. As Jake struggles to maintain his composure, your attitude becomes more daring and you move your hands further up his thighs, massaging until you reach his pelvis, and moved down so you folded his sack while gobbling down what you could of your boyfriend's member.

He scans the comments section, takes a sip of water to compose himself before speaking, "we've been trying to learn the choreography in a different way, Niki learned it immediately and wanted to leave earlier," he broke off with a laugh, "but the manager wouldn't let him leave, so-". This time he interrupted himself as he felt the warmth of your throat enveloping him. You looked at him with eyes full of mischief, hoping that he would pay attention to you.

"Oh, Jakey, you're so sweaty today! Shouldn't you cool off instead of making us hotter?" Jake read the comment, trying to maintain his composure. He lets out a nervous laugh and runs a hand through his hair. "Haha, well, you know, it's... really hot in here," he licked his lips as he leaned back in the chair a little, spreading his legs a little to give you more access. In a breathy voice he spoke momentarily "yeah, very hot, very warm...", at the end of the sentence he coughed to keep from letting out the grunts trapped in his throat. You take advantage of his momentary distraction, bobbing your head rhythmically, causing him to bite his lower lip to suppress a moan.

Moving on in the live (as well as your actions) Jake was no longer on earth. All that was going through his mind were the same words all the time, "Jake, don't cum during live." He had hidden it quite well, after all even the members had believed it. Oh, didn't I say that? The members had joined freely through the new weverse option, let's see how long Jake can last when you decided to change the position and slid his cock between your breasts.

[act2drama]

Well, that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a while…

And it definitely does sound like they’re planning on releasing these shows in some format at some point later this year…

15 minutes to go… Can’t fucking wait!

[jilyawards]

The Jily Fandom Rec List 2024 is a compilation of Jily stories our readers want to keep an eye on for this year's awards.

AUGUST

A Matter of Fairness (completed, 3.9k) by @yallthemwitches. Rated E.

James' Quidditch match is derailed by a very distracting Head Girl.

stitch the wound (completed, 15.7k) by @loverscrossmp3. Rated T.

moments on a battlefield and in a home. there are only so many things you can do when in hiding before you begin remembering.

101 Padfoots (completed, 4k) by @tedwardremus. Rated G.

An accident in potions class results in 101 Padfoots running around Hogwarts while Lily and James work together to round them all up

swimming through sick lullabies (completed, 4.7k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

“So, I’ve got a question,” James says, leaning forward slightly. Lily nods without looking at him, busying herself with wiping the puddle of water from the condensation of the glass. “If you were meeting Kallus for a date, why’d you bring a book?” She looks up sharply, her cheeks flushing a soft pink. “What?” He smirks, letting his eyes flicker down toward the book in emphasis. “Were you anticipating a rubbish date?”

the dance of mischief and duty (completed, 3.5k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

Lily Evans is an infuriating mosaic of traits—beautiful and she knows it, captain of the House Quidditch team, and the loudest voice in nearly any room. She has this way of floating through the school, her laughter ringing out as she moves between corridors and classes, one arm usually slung around Sirius Black’s shoulder and the other gesticulating wildly as she spins tales of misadventure. But she also sort of has a point, and that’s possibly the most infuriating part about her.

the road to reunification is not so smooth (WIP, 10.2k as of 31 August 2024) by wisterial. Rated T.

Other than her persistent guilt and loneliness, Lily Evans is doing perfectly okay. That is, until her friends give her phone number to James Potter, an old schoolmate she would very much like to avoid. If that wasn't enough of a problem, Lily meets a boy in the local library, who appears just as lonely as her, and she begins to realize that he may be the son she gave up for adoption eight years ago. Or: The story of how Lily, James, and Harry reunite, and eventually learn how to be a family (with the help of time, their friends, and a lot of ice cream).

bad day wall (WIP, 14.8k as of 31 August 2024) by apalapucian. Rated M.

lily calls it the bad day wall. it's like this weird communal one-liner diary thing. every time i think i'm over her something happens and it hits me just as stupidly intense as all the other times. i'm SICK of it why can't people just LIKE by default the people they LOVE? why do they have to be separate feelings? it would make things so much less complicated or: in sixth year, lily starts talking to a stranger(?) through messages on a wall. she also befriends james potter. these two things are completely not related.

Guilty as Sin (WIP, 56.7k as of 31 August 2024) by ohevans. Rated E.

This is not sustainable. He cannot keep being so god damn perfect or it’s going to ruin her. It sort of already has, really. Lily Evans is a practical young woman, and having sex dreams about one’s best friend that leave one waking up hot and bothered at 3:32 in the morning is decidedly impractical. Especially when said friend—self-proclaimed early bird—started Mamma Mia! together over facetime at half-past eleven solely because she said she couldn’t sleep, even though he likes to get up early and go on long runs before work. And then she went and fell asleep mid-lyric to Dancing Queen and he sent her a string of text messages and stayed awake long enough to finish the movie, all the while she was passed out on the couch dreaming of his face between her thighs. Again. For the third night in a row. (It would be the eighth, but there was one night she had a stress dream about missing her Eighteenth Century Women’s Lit exam.) This is not sustainable.

Check out the previous months' recs too: January, February, March || April || May || June || July

And don't forget to check out the Jily Week 2024 masterlist!

[prettygirl-gabi]

Mistletoe Mischief

Rating: PG 13

Warning: Slight suggestive

Paring: Chris Sturniolo x !soft reader

Fandom: Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: Christmas stream with Chris and a new belly ring for the holidays of course...

Merry Christmas everyone I hope you enjoy! Here you go my Chris girlies and @gamerchrissgf

Chris was mid-sentence during the Christmas-themed live stream with Nick and Matt, his hands animatedly waving as he defended his favorite Christmas movie. I stood just out of frame, watching the chaos unfold, a sly grin tugging at my lips.

I had to pick my moment carefully.

“Bro, you’re actually insane if you think Elf isn’t top-tier,” Chris argued, shooting a glare at Nick.

“It’s mid!” Nick fired back, smirking.

Matt, ever the referee, shook his head. “We’re not doing this again.”

Perfect. They were distracted. I stepped closer, just enough so Chris could see me but not the camera. His eyes flicked to mine, and I saw him pause, his mouth half-open.

I lifted the edge of my sweater slightly to reveal the tiny mistletoe charm dangling from my new belly ring. “Cute, right?” I mouthed, smirking.

Chris’s face turned a shade of red I’d never seen before. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand and turned away from the camera, coughing to cover up his reaction.

“Yo, you good?” Matt asked, raising a brow.

“Yeah, yeah,” Chris mumbled, waving him off.

Nick wasn’t buying it. “Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?”

“I didn’t!” Chris snapped, his voice cracking slightly.

I stifled a laugh and mouthed, “Kiss me under the mistletoe.”

Chris’s eyes widened, and he shook his head subtly, mouthing back, “Not now!”

“Chris, are you okay?” Matt asked again, this time looking genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine!” Chris said quickly, his voice rising an octave. “Let’s just move on, okay?”

After a few more minutes of awkwardly dodging the guys’ questions, the stream finally ended. As soon as the camera was off, Chris practically jumped out of his chair, marching toward me.

“You’re evil,” he said, his face still flushed.

I shrugged innocently. “I just thought you’d appreciate the festive spirit.”

He groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “You know they’re gonna rewind that and analyze every second of my reaction, right?”

“Worth it,” I teased, taking a step closer. “So… are you gonna kiss me under the mistletoe or not?”

Chris sighed, a small smile breaking through his faux frustration. “You’re lucky I like you,” he muttered, leaning in to press a soft, quick kiss to my lips.

When he pulled back, his eyes softened, his hands resting on my hips. “That belly ring’s cute, by the way.”

“Thanks,” I said, grinning. “But you’re cuter when you’re flustered.”

Chris groaned again, but this time he was smiling. Later that night, as we cuddled on the couch, his hand lazily resting on my waist, he murmured, “I’m still mad at you for doing that during the stream.”

“No, you’re not,” I replied, poking his cheek.

“Okay, maybe not,” he admitted, pulling me closer. “But don’t test me again. Nick and Matt will never let me live it down.”

I just laughed, knowing full well I’d probably do it again.

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-Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

-prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[personinthepalace]

a collection of highlights from 'From Russia With Gloves' because I don't have the time to liveblog while watching but I do have thoughts lmao

Lauren Shearing as Madame Gloves bringing the perfect amount of Bond-villain-campness to her role - she was absolutely sensational and didn't put a foot wrong!!!!

Bev, the henchperson who spontaneously broke into song so spontaneously even the musicians couldn't keep up with her XD

Hen and his triple-agenting, coming in hot with "I'm the one that always lies!"

Josh vaguely speaking French and putting on a decent Aussie accent (I mean, I rate it lol)

Shields as a koala. that is all XD

but also any time he just clings to Bryony tbh XD

"they don't know that I have a real human... mind!" - Koala Jeffreys

Shields: That time we... buried... a child!

Bryony, desperately trying to salvage the situation: In the sand! at the beach! yeah, we dug him back up..."

"do you know how hard it is to get a koala bear through customs?!" - Koala Jeffreys

but hey, you can't have a villain as good as Madame Gloves without an equally brilliant hero in Vanessa Cumberbatch

from her tragic backstory, watching her wife-to-be Carlotta die at the hand (ha!) of Madame Gloves who has the moment framed in her lair lmao

I mean, just her entrance into the movie literally commando-rolling into the scene XD

Oscar: I'm not quite sure how she managed to kill all those people by rolling around on the floor

and then her every interaction with Koala Jeffreys - mate, Shields is a pro because if Bryony spent half the movie just patting my head, I'd be done lads (gender neutral)- that's like catnip to me lmao

and to cap it all off, she chucked in a rhyming couplet for her last line, just for kicks

"and together, we got rid of the glove / and now I'm ready for some interspecies love!" - Vanessa Cumberbatch

*cue Shields trying to get Bryony to carry him but Bry not being able to carry him so he ends up with one leg wrapped around her and hopping*

[august-and-clouds]

Small life update :)

Hi everyone! It's been roughly a year and half since I posted anything on socials and...well there's nothing much to say other than I've been very busy and stressed, and thus creating content had moved down my list of priorities.

Unfortunately, this meant that I had also been neglecting any emails, DMs, or asks sent my way during this time and I can only sincerely apologise :( I am still not going to be online much (or at all), hence I've taken down my post about Mischief recordings (if you're looking for them...*ahem* personinthepalace might have them) However, if you have a burning ask only I can help with, do shoot me an email still! I will be checking my emails for the next week or so.

And just announced today, Mischief Movie Night In is coming back for the winter season! I will be tuning in to the best of my ability and hope you will be able too :) [Website link]

MMNI was what made me love Mischief so I'm absolutely thrilled it's returning. And because this page was formed by a video compilation of MMNI, maybe I might find it in me to create a new video to celebrate this occasion.

Hope that everyone is keeping well, and happy mischief <3

- august xx

(Slightly more personal thoughts below, feel free to skip)

I still adore Mischief with all my heart, but the burning passion I had for making videos/content has really simmered down. I forgot which video(s) it was, but shortly after I finished all the initial ideas I had, posting felt more like a chore than something fun.

I'm truly thankful for all the friends I made because of the whimsy & clumsy ideas I posted on the internet, but the unexpected stress(?) of having an blog/public page seeped into my mental health. Although I'm well aware these are all silly anxieties and everyone's chill and cool, taking a break from the internet really had a positive effect on my psyche.

With all that said, I don't want to give up this page because...I really love the name august and clouds😅Creating silly edits is still a fun past time for me, and perhaps one day (MAYBE next year??) I'll post my other fandoms stuff on this page :) Or maybe I'll just give up on the name and create another blog altogether because my interests are all over the place and I'm also quite an appreciator of single-fandom blogs. (And also my profile is the GORGEOUS ellie morris and we can't have a crack edit of tcg shop simulator linked to her image??)

Thank you to everyone who has loved my videos and in turn, decided to appreciate Mischief too. My heart is full everytime one of my videos is mentioned as a gateway to Mischief. Hugs all around <3

August out! (For real this time)

[aiakosm]

Great to see Gravity Falls being popular again! I sure hope a certain pro-ship doesn’t become active once more!

Look, I ask for one simple thing. Reluctant parental Bill with reluctant children Mabel and Dipper.

Picture this:

One-sided Ford x Bill (maybe eventually mutual) where Bill comes back, scares the Pines family, and tries to court Stanford Pines once more(because he’s definitely done it before). He knows how protective both of the older pine twins are of the young ones. So, he sets off to do what he assumes would be the perfect way of courting Stanford Pines. Which is to parent the young twins who he tried to previously kill. Yay.

Really, I just need a story of Bill reluctantly bonding with Mabel and Dipper but ultimately failing to connect with them. Finally, he sits back and watches Ford and Stan with the kids, wondering why these stupid kid meat sacks don’t like him (it totally isn’t because he almost killed them). He sees the way Stan and Ford, while rough and rugged, are still gentle with the kids.

Stan has done hilariously dangerous things with the kids but at the end of the day, the two of them are still smiling and laughing. And Ford goes onto long intellectual lectures at times but he also slows down and repeats himself using simpler words for the children (and Stanley).

If anything is to be noteworthy, it’s the fact that while Stan and Ford love the kids equally, they connect with them differently.

Sure, Stan and Mabel are as thick as thieves. They love getting into mischief, scamming people out their money and using the grappling hook to escape from the cops. They tell jokes and laugh at each other, and Mabel is an excellent wingman for Stan.

But Stan also doesn’t mind sitting on the couch and watching his show while Dipper sits on the floor, scribbling in his book. He likes blurting out outlandish plot twists when they watch mystery movies and complains when Dipper tries to make him read a thriller book but secretly reads them at night.

Ford and Dipper get along like a house on fire. Dipper shows incredible skills when it comes to deciphering codes and secret messages. And he has the same knowledge as Ford when it came to the creatures of Gravity Falls (having been studying the journals). Ford loves including Dipper in his experiments.

But Ford also likes having Mabel with them. While her big imagination is seen as childish to most, for Ford (who has been in a different dimension filled with who-knows-what), her theories are often right. He likes hearing her ideas out, no matter how crazy they are. And he does love a good arts & crafts project. He lets Mabel teach him how to crotchet his own sweater.

If Bill was going to put himself into that family (for the sake of having Stanford Pines back) he was going to have to find his own way of caring for the younger twins.

But anyways, that’s all I wanted to share. I’ve always wanted parental! Bill with reluctant! Dipper and Mabel. And as someone who’s been in this fandom for nine years (I watched it in 2016) I’m hoping that I’ll get my wish soon. (If I do then please incorporate Trans! Dipper. It doesn’t even have to be a main focus thing, it’s just a very popular headcannon that’s been around for ages and it’s grown on me like a fungus)

[thenerdyunhealthybrit]

I may have found somewhere that has all or most of the Mischief Movie Night In episodes in full.

I’m going to check them all (that they work and are it). As I want to reminisce to simpler times.

I don’t know if there is still a mischief fandom on Tumblr? But how many would be interested if put them on google drive or something like that?

For record, I found them on a public domain if anyone is concerned. My intention is not to steal but to increase access for people.

[atotalpitch]

Bechloe week 2024 day 2: "you're up early"

read on ao3 here Fandom(s): Pitch Perfect (movies) Relationship(s): implied Beca/Chloe, can be seen as either pre- or during relationship! Word count: 666 Warning(s): none Other tag(s): mild hurt/comfort, fluff Summary: they have a conversation. literally that's it. i'm terrible at summaries. A/N: ooffff this is short, but i'm still happy with it!! my best friend, the only person i run these through, thought it's adorable and i trust her. any criticism or thoughts are always welcome!

--- Beca drops her headphones around her neck as she walks into the kitchen. It’s oddly quiet for the Bellas house, but it is five in the morning. She figures she’s the only one awake at the ass crack of dawn. That is until her heart jumps all the way up to her throat at the sight of a familiar redhead. “Jesus fucking Christ you scared me,” Beca mumbles under her breath, not knowing whether Chloe heard her or not. “Sorry,” Chloe half-whispers with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Opening the fridge and picking up a can of redbull, Beca does a mental double take on the time. “You’re up early,” she states matter-of-factly. “I’m always up early. You’re up early,” Chloe shoots back, raising an eyebrow challengingly. “Your first alarm is at 6.15, it’s 5.42,” Beca ignores the accusation and sits down on one of the kitchen aisle stools. She opens the cold can and takes a sip. “Spill. What’s keeping you up?” Chloe sighs. She knows there is no logical way out of this anymore. “I, uh… it’s dumb. My brother’s getting married. I mean, don’t get me wrong I’m happy for him! I love his fiancée too. It just made me think… I’m only a year younger than him and I’m still stuck in college, while he’s out there living his life and experiencing all these things I thought I would by this age,” Chloe looks out the kitchen window, twirling a spoon in her now cold mug of tea. Beca gathers she must’ve been there for quite a while now, because normally Chloe would never let her tea get cold. “Chlo, you are living your life. Just because you aren’t completing the guidebook of a stereotypical straight woman doesn’t mean your life isn’t good,” she manages to make Chloe at least smile with her insight. “I know I… I just thought my life would be different, I guess,” she shrugs, turning her gaze to meet Beca’s. There is an edge of something in her eyes that Beca hasn’t seen before. Sadness doesn’t suit Chloe, and neither does the tornado of emotions currently whirling in her stare, Beca is sure of it. “Are you happy now? With the Bellas, I mean;” what Beca wants to ask is if Chloe’s happy with her, but she decides against going too deep too early. “I am, yeah,” the answer comes out quickly and it seems to click something back to place inside Chloe’s mind. She still seems unsure, though. “Well there’s your answer. Look, dude, I know I’m not the best with all this emotional shit but what matters is that you’re happy and feel content with your own life. You still have life left to live and there’s no rush to get married or whatever it is that you want,” Beca shrugs, taking another long chug of her drink. “Who knew Beca Mitchell could give actually sensible life advice before six in the morning,” Chloe seems to get a part of herself back as she teases. Beca rolls her eyes, finishing the redbull in her hand with one last swig. (The normal cans are small, you can’t blame her.) She drops the can on the aisle and slides off the stool. “Remember to turn off your alarm so you don’t wake the others up,” she says in a form of goodbye. “Wait, can we go back to why you’re up at this time?” Chloe narrows her eyes and Beca can feel the intensity of the stare on her back. She turns her head and flashes a smile oddly similar to a toddler getting caught doing mischief. “Beca! What did I say about staying up the whole night?” the disappointed exclamation goes to deaf ears as Beca is already halfway up the stairs with her headphones firmly back in place. Chloe sighs and shakes her head, but a small smile forms on her lips. She really is in love with an idiot.

[akitasimblr]

DAVID HARPER, ERNEST HARPER, QUEENIE HARPER & ALANA WEST-HARPER - FOR @flocy-sims LEGACY

i am sending you the twins david harper & ernest harper, queenie harper and alana west-harper for your legacy, let's hope they behave! more about them below.

david is a rebel. He does not have a determined direction; he goes where the wind takes him. It’s easy to find him crashing at his sister or twin brother’s house after some crazy night in san myshuno. He will settle eventually, just not sure when. He is not drawn to romantic relationships, it actually requires a lot of friendship and intimacy (and not strictly in the physical sense) for him to fall for someone. David does not believe in love at first sight, for him love has to be nurtured and cared for in the long run. He’s not a one-night stand kind of guy. Right now he still lives at his parents’ house in Britechester and after much parental pressure he finally got a part-time job as barista. You can say he is not the ambitious type. He loves a good laugh and a bit of mischief to color our lives. He is a geek for video games and he - might - indulge in some hacking as well. Which reminds me of a story he usually boasts about of when he got inside the landgraab’s system… oh! wait! that’s a secret!

ernest is an acclaimed musician. He has an identical twin named David. He is a virtuoso pianist and violinist and plays in the worldwide known Simsonian Orchestra. Ernest loves all classic and baroque music and it’s hard to find anything he loves just as much. For an outsider, Ernest has an enviable life, he has achieved professional realization, he travels all around the simlish world with the orchestra, he does what he loves but Ernest Harper is a sad, unhappy soul. He had his heart broken and he has never been able to fall in love again. He has been a loner. Ernest has a timid, gloomy character. But Ernest’s gloomy soul hides the most tender, sensitive and loving character, if only one knows how to break his walls…

queenie was born amongst the rich and famous society of del sol with both of her parents being renowned actors. she was always very pampered as a kid and everyone thought she’d follow her parents’ example and become an actor. but no. her tastes and talents led her to another branch of the movie industry: designs and wardrobes.  queenie has an exquisite obsession with anything fashion related and she is brilliant at what she does.  sweet queenie might be vain and perhaps too self-conscious of her public image; but she’s a kind soul with the patience of a saint. mark my words, this girl knows how to keep a secret, she’s the best confidant you’ll ever find, if only you show she can trust you. 

alana west-harper is the mischievous kind. she got that from her dad, i bet! alana is an expert in all fandoms you can think of. even those underground, alternative, sketchy fandoms no one knows about? well, she knows! alana is the ultimate geek. alana went to foxbury university to study villainy and oh my watcher! she graduated with honors. i expect great things from this girl... like worldwide robery kind of greatness, you know? but don't get me wrong, she is not evil, okay? she just likes to do things her way. and sometimes 'her way' does not exactly mean lawful... but hey! she gets things done in the end of the day!

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2024–Day 14: Eli the Elf

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Word Count: 5393

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Elf on the Shelf

Note:  This fic was originally written for Fluffy Fridays last year

Emma collapsed onto the sofa in her living room.  Being the parent of a rambunctious, mischievous three-year-old was not for the faint of heart, that was for sure.  Not that she’d change her crazy life for anything.  Emma loved Hope Swan-Jones with all her heart.  After all the months and even years she and Killian had tried for a baby with no success, there was no doubt that Hope was their miracle, their second chance, their opportunity to be a family.   

As Emma’s maternity leave had neared its end, Emma and Killian had come to the decision that they wanted to be there for and with their daughter every hour of the day.  Daycare simply wasn’t an option for them, so they’d come to an arrangement: they’d trade off days.  One day Emma went into the station and Killian stayed home with Hope, and the next day they swapped.

Lately, it seemed like Emma was far more tired at the end of her days with Hope than she was at the end of her days as the sheriff.  Who would have thought those early months where Hope barely slept would actually end up being the easy parts of parenting? 

Hope was a good girl, sweet, affectionate, smart as a whip, but she was also the daughter of a pirate.  Seemed like Emma couldn’t turn around for a second without Hope making another mess or getting onto some sort of mischief. 

Emma let herself succumb to sleep while Killian put Hope to bed–no doubt with a thrilling, overly dramatic bedtime story, like he did nearly every night.  Hope adored his tales…and everything else about her Papa.  Emma knew her daughter loved her, but there was no doubt she was a daddy’s girl.

 The couch dipped beside her, waking Emma abruptly.

 “My apologies love,” Killian said, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Emma yawned before settling into Killian’s waiting arms.  “Don’t worry about it.  I was just kind of resting my eyes.  Don’t want to sleep through the evening when we finally get to have a little alone time.”

Killian brushed a kiss against the crown of her head and tightened his arms around her.  “I worry about you love.  You’ve been so tired lately.  Are you sure nothing’s amiss?”

Emma kissed him gently.  “I’m fine, Killian, I promise.  Guess I’m just having a tougher time navigating life as a working parent than I thought I would.”

“Are you sure…?”

“I am,” she said decisively.  “It’s just, we have a very busy, active toddler on our hands.  I love her like you would not believe, but by the end of the day, I’m so tired I feel like I could sleep standing up.”

Killian’s brow furrowed.  “The lass is three now, old enough to begin to understand consequences.  Perhaps we should begin discussing disciplinary tactics.”

“You know, I was thinking about that today,” Emma said, settling against Killian’s chest and resting her hand over his heart, loving the comfort his softly thumping heartbeat gave her.

 “Christmas is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I thought maybe we could make use of some of the traditions to convince her to work on her behavior.”

“Swan, if you’re referring to that Santa Claus fellow, I’m not entirely sure I approve,” Killian said, voice sternly disapproving.

Emma laughed.  “You are morally opposed to Santa Claus?  Why?”

“One cannot seem to patronize any establishment in this town without hearing his song,” Killian said, “He sees you when you’re sleeping.  He knows when you’re awake.  He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.  Swan, this Santa fellow sounds like one of the worst villains we’ve faced yet.”

Emma laughed again.  “Killian it’s just a song, and it’s all in fun.  Kids love Santa.  He’s the one who brings them presents.”

Emma could see in Killian’s face that he wasn’t convinced.

“Anyway,” she continued, “that’s not what I was talking about, not really.  There’s this other tradition parents do sometimes.  Called Elf on the Shelf.  You get this toy elf, and the idea is that it watches the kids and kind of reports to Santa.  Each night the parents move the elf, so it’s like it’s alive.  The fun of it is that the kid never knows where the elf is going to show up next.  Plus, knowing there’s an elf watching you, well, it’s extra incentive to be on your best behavior.”

“Are you daft, Swan?” Killian exclaimed.  “This ‘Elf on the Shelf’ sounds, if possible, even more horrifying than Santa Claus!  I’d rather not traumatize our daughter.” 

“Would you stop being such a drama queen?” Emma asked, laughter still evident in her voice.  “I promise you it’s all in fun.  This isn’t some Christmasy ‘scare the kid straight’ thing.   Kids love it.  It brings the magic of Christmas to life.” 

Killian was clearly still skeptical, but finally conceded.  “Very well, Swan.  We’ll try this Elf on the Shelf, but if it gives Hope nightmares, I must put my foot down.”

“Relax babe,” Emma said.  “If the elf gives Hope nightmares, I’ll personally lock it in our dungeon. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The next morning 

Killian stepped into Granny’s and made a b-line for the large booth at the back of the establishment, seeing David and Rogers already present. 

After the realms had combined, Dave had suggested he and Killian get together with Rogers, as the town decided to continue referring to his alternate reality version, to help him get adjusted to life in Storybrooke.  This get together quickly became a weekly thing.

Emma referred to their weekly breakfasts as the “brot3 convention.”  Killian hadn’t a clue what that might mean, but the phrase brought a delighted smile to Swan’s face, and that was enough to make Killian adopt the language.  There was very little he wouldn’t do to make his wife smile. 

“Hey Killian! Good to see you,” David said. 

Killian noted the fatigue in his father-in-law’s eyes and the yawn he was attempting to stifle. 

“The lass keep you up last night?” he asked sympathetically.

David and Mary Margaret’s daughter Ava was quickly approaching her first birthday.  She’d come as a surprise to the couple who’d believed their family was complete after the birth of Neal, but she was a very welcome and loved surprise. 

“Yeah,” David said, and then took a bracing sip of his coffee.  “She was up every two hours last night.” 

“I thought you said she’d finally begun sleeping through the night,” Rogers said. 

“She did,” David said, “but I think she’s teething.  Runny nose, running a bit of a fever, wanting to chew on everything.” 

Both Hooks nodded in understanding and sympathy.  “I don’t miss those days with my Alice,” Rogers said.   

Their conversation was put on hold as a waitress, wearing a festive Santa hat and necklace made of Christmas lights, took their order. 

“So how about you, Killian?” David asked after the waitress walked away, “How’s everything going with your family?” 

Killian frowned.  “I must admit, I’m a bit concerned about Emma.  She’s been so exhausted lately and a couple of times she’s gotten dizzy.  She insists it’s nothing, but I’m near to insisting she visit Doctor Whale.”

“Tired and feeling faint?” David asked.  “Any other issues?”

“It was the strangest thing,” Killian said, furrowing his brow.  “This morning I attempted to serve her her customary PopTart for breakfast, but she insisted she couldn’t stomach it.  She actually asked for boiled mackerel and grapefruit.” 

“Tired, feeling faint, and with significant changes in appetite,” David listed off.  To Killian’s surprise (and consternation) a grin covered his father-in-law’s face.  “I think Emma’s right.  I think you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Other than life getting significantly busier in eight or nine months,” Rogers said with a grin identical to David’s. 

It took Killian a moment to put the dots together, but then his eyes widened.  “You think Emma could be with child?” 

“I have very little experience with these things, my own daughter’s birth being so very….unorthodox,” Rogers said, “but it certainly seems possible.” 

Killian felt the joy bubble up in him.  Another child!  He and Swan may have another child.  It was a blessing he hadn’t even allowed himself to wish for, given the difficulties they’d had conceiving Hope. 

“I suppose there was that one weekend away we had just before Thanksgiving,” Killian said slowly, “when Alice and Robin stayed with Hope.  We did engage in copious amounts of intimate activities…” 

Rogers barked out a laugh and David groaned, reminding Killian of just how much his father-in-law did not want to hear the specifics. 

Breakfast was a joyous affair following the pregnancy speculation, the three men discussing their lives over the past week. 

Killian walked home with an extra spring in his step.  This Christmas was shaping up to be one of the best he’d ever had. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Grandma, what do you think about putting the wreath here?” Lucy asked, holding the Disney’s Captain Hook themed wreath against their front door. 

Emma laughed.  “Looks great kid.  It’ll get a good natured grumble out of your gramps every time he walks by.”

It was still weird to get used to being called Grandma, but Emma’s heart warmed at the thought that Henry was back to stay and that she’d have the chance to get to know her daughter-in-law and granddaughter in a way she’d missed out on over the first decade of Lucy’s life.

Lucy laughed, turning to Charming to ask him to hammer a nail for her so she could hang the wreath.

It had become a Christmastime tradition since the merging of the realms.  The whole family got together to decorate each other’s houses and then have dinner together.  This weekend, a mere two weeks before Christmas, it was the Swan-Jones household’s turn to host (and get decorated). 

Emma took a step back, watching as her family, her whole, big boisterous extended family worked to make her home look like something out of the Hallmark channel.  Regina and Zelena stood by the impressively large pine tree stringing garland, Alice, Robin and Rogers worked to make the hearth festive, Henry, Jacinda, Killian and her dad were braving the frigid temperatures outside to string lights on the bushes and the front of the house, Neal was occupying Hope in the playroom, Ava napped in the nursery and Snow worked away in the kitchen on what Emma was sure would be an amazing dinner. 

It was the type of scene you’d see in one of those cheesy Christmas movies.  Happy family enjoying each other’s company while they decorate for Christmas and listen to carols.  It was even picture perfect outside, with the snow gently falling. 

It was perfect, and Emma loved every minute of it.

While Hope was occupied with Neal, Emma grabbed the elf on the shelf, looking around for the perfect place to move him.  Maybe she’d put him in Hope’s room tonight. 

Emma wasn’t sure if the elf was all that effective as a disciplinary tool.  She hadn’t noticed a significant lessening of mischief since she and Killian had introduced “Eli the Elf”, but Hope certainly seemed delighted in looking for him every morning. 

And the joy on her daughter’s face was really what was most important, when it came down to it.  It was Christmas, the time for child-like wonder. 

Emma wandered into the kitchen, pausing for a moment and taking stock of her stomach.  Seemed like smells nauseated her at the drop of a hat lately—one of the main reasons her mom had offered to make the meal for their get together (the other being neither she nor Killian could cook worth a damn).  Emma sighed in relief when she noticed the smells elicited hunger rather than nausea. 

“Anything I can help you with, mom?” 

Snow turned from the stove where she was stirring something as it bubbled merrily away.  “You sure you’re feeling up to it?  I know how rough it can be in the early months.” 

Emma gave her mom an assessing look, subconsciously placing a protective hand over her belly.  “You know, don’t you?” 

Snow abandoned the pot on the stove and rushed over to give Emma a warm, motherly hug.  “About the baby?  Your father told when he came home from the last brot3 convention.  Oh Emma!  I’m so excited for you and Killian!  Is it official?  Do you know for sure?” 

Emma felt the familiar mix of anticipation, joy and fear bubble up inside her.  After his last breakfast with the guys, Killian had come home with a smile on his face. 

“What’s up with you?” she’d asked.  “I haven’t seen you so excited since they had that buy one get one special on rum at The Rabbit Hole.”

Killian had led her to the couch.  “It’s been some time since your last monthly, hasn’t it?”

 “Uh…yeah.  I guess I’m a few days late.  Why?”

“I was talking to your father and Rogers…”

“You were talking to my father about my period?” she asked, brows furrowed. 

He laughed. “Of course not, love!  I merely mentioned your fatigue and appetite changes.”

“Okay…..” 

“Your father…” Killian said, taking her hand, “your father raised the possibility that there could be a very specific cause for your symptoms.  Love, is it possible you’re with child again?” 

Emma’s eyes had widened, the possibility not even entering her mind before he brought it up.   

“With child?  Killian, we haven’t even been trying.” 

“No, but we’ve also not not been trying,” he said. “And I can recall a few very satisfying encounters over the past few weeks that could have very well resulted in a new life…” 

Snow tapped Emma on the shoulder, and Emma realized she’d spaced out, her face flaming slightly as her mind went to a few of those “very satisfying encounters”.  Killian’s skills as a lover were ridiculous.  She’d really hit the jackpot. 

“Uh…sorry mom,” Emma said, “what were you saying?” 

“I was asking if you got it confirmed.” 

“No,” Emma said, thinking of the pregnancy test currently residing in their bathroom medicine cabinet.  “I’m a little afraid to take the pregnancy test, to be honest.” 

Snow led Emma to a chair at her dining room table and urged her to sit.  “Why, honey?” 

Emma shrugged.  “What if it’s negative?  I mean I have all the classic symptoms, and this is exactly how I felt with Hope, but….I mean, we had such a hard time getting pregnant with Hope. What if this is just some weird flu or something?  Killian and I are already excited about Baby Swan-Jones #2.  If it turns out he or she isn’t actually on the way…” 

Snow reached over and hugged Emma.  “For what it’s worth, from what your father told me, I really, really don’t think this is a false alarm, but if it is…” Snow shrugged. “Well if it is a false alarm, you and Killian can have lots of fun trying to make it a reality over the next few months.” 

“Mom!” Emma said. 

Snow shrugged again, a wicked grin on her face.  “Remember, I know how much you and Killian enjoy…pancakes.” 

Emma made her hasty exit, opting to check on the kids before her mother started talking about her own taco sessions with David.

Still, apart from the very uncomfortable thought of discussing her sex life with her mother, Snow had a point.  What did she and Killian have to lose?  She resolved she’d take the pregnancy test the very next day. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The next afternoon, around nap time. 

Hope Swan-Jones was not happy.  

She wasn’t sleepy.  Why did Mama make her take naps?  Sleeping was no fun at all!  Uncle Neal didn’t have to take naps; why should she? 

She’d asked Mama that one day, and Mama said it was because Neal was twelve years old.  Twelve-year-olds didn’t have to take naps. 

Hope wished she was twelve.  Not three. 

Hope glanced over at the shelf high on the wall and noticed Eli the Elf peering down at her.  She stuck her small, pink tongue out at him.

“I’m not going to go to sleep,” she said rebelliously, “and I don’t care if you tell Santa!” 

Hope continued to look at Eli as her eyelids started getting heavy in spite of herself.  That was another thing.  Why didn’t Mama and Daddy ever let her play with Eli?  He was a doll just like the others she had in her play chest.  Why couldn’t she play with him?

Hope knew better than to leave her bed when Mama said to take a nap, but still, she reached out her hand as though to reach for the elf.  Suddenly she felt kind of funny, like there was something warm and bubbly just under her skin.  She watched in amazement as a beam of white light shot from her outstretched fingers, and suddenly Eli the Elf was zooming towards her, right into her arms. 

Did…did she have magic like Mama did? 

Maybe she should try again. 

She looked at the elf and then reached her hand out the way Mama did when she did magic.  “I want you to play with me, elf,” she whispered. 

The strange warm bubbly feeling happened again, and another burst of magic shot out.  

Suddenly Eli the Elf stood up on his own, blinked twice and then grinned at her in a way Daddy would have said meant trouble. 

“Eli the Elf at your service,” he said with a bow.  “So kid, you ready to have some fun?” 

Hope glanced toward the door, afraid Mama would hear.  “Shhhhhh!” she said. “We’re supposed to be asleep!” 

The elf rolled his eyes.  “Naps are for Grinches.  You’re not a Grinch, are you, kid?”

She shook her head no. 

“Good,” Eli said, “so here’s what I think we should do next….”

Eli the Elf went on to outline a plan of chaos that made Hope’s eyes widen.  Surely he wouldn’t dare! 

She shook her head.  “We can’t!  We’ll get in trouble!” 

“The threat of getting caught is half the fun,” Eli said, before jumping off the bed and making a dash for the partially opened door.  “I’m going to do it, whether you follow me or not.” 

Hope climbed out of bed and tiptoed to the door.   She had to stop him!  She was going to be in so much trouble! 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

That evening 

Killian closed Hope’s door and made his way down the stairs to the kitchen where he set about preparing a nice steaming mug of hot cocoa. 

He had a feeling Swan would need it after the day she’d had. 

Killian had come home from the station, smile on his lips and spring in his step…only to find the living room in shambles and Emma on the couch crying. 

He’d rushed to her.  “Swan!  What happened?  Are you hurt?  Is Hope alright?” 

Emma swiped at her cheeks and got to her feet.  “We’re fine, Killian,” she rushed to reassure, stepping into his arms and burying her face in his chest.  “It’s just…I’m so damn tired, and she was supposed to be napping, and I come downstairs, and…well, just look!” 

Emma gestured to the living room.  The bottom half of the Christmas tree was completely bare, the baubles that had previously adorned its branches were strewn over the floor, a couple of the delicate glass ones broken against the hearth. 

His eyes widened.  Hope had done this? 

“Swan, there must be some mistake,” he said, “Hope is mischievous, to be sure, but she’s never blatantly engaged in destruction and she loves our Christmas tree.” 

Emma collapsed on the couch, pulling him with her.  “She was in here, Killian,” Emma said, one fat tear of exhaustion rolling down her face.  “I caught her red-handed.  Literally.  She was holding that stupid red Santa ornament in her hand when I showed up.  When I asked her what she was doing, she lied to me. Lied right to my face.” 

“That doesn’t sound like my lass at all,” Killian said, his brow furrowing as he wrapped his wife in his comforting embrace.  “I’ve never known her to speak a falsehood.  What happened?” 

“She told me…get this…she told me Eli the Elf did it!  That damn elf on the shelf was lying on the ground next to the tree.  Not only did she disobey me and leave her room during naptime, she somehow got her hands on the elf, went on a tree destroying spree, and then lied to me.  Killian, I don’t even know what to do with her anymore!” 

Emma started crying in earnest, and Killian hugged her to him, rocking her slightly and caressing her hair.  “Where is the lass now, love?” 

“She’s in her room,” Emma said, voice thick with tears.  “I…Killian, I kind of lost my temper.  I raised my voice a little.  She looked so surprised and almost, I don’t know, betrayed.  I sent her to her room, because apparently I can’t parent worth a crap, but I wanted a chance to cool down before I said anything else to her that I might regret.” 

“Sh,” Killian said. “Emma you are a wonderful mother.  Never doubt that.  We all lose our temper and have moments we aren’t particularly proud of.  We’ll sort this out.  Together.” 

He’d stayed with Emma a few more moments, holding her as she cried, and then he’d gone to have a talk with Hope. 

Now, 20 minutes later, steaming mug of cocoa in hand, he returned to the Christmas carnage that was their living room. 

Emma took the cocoa with a grateful smile.  “How is she?”

Killian’s brow furrowed.  “She’s settled for the moment, and she seems quite apologetic over what happened.  What say we put this tree to rights, aye?” 

“Killian, you don’t have to…” she called after him as he began gathering discarded ornaments and placing them on the tree.  “I can just zap it with my magic…” 

“Nonsense, love,” he said, “you’re exhausted and at your wits end.  Rest, let me handle this.”

He made quick work of righting the tree as he heard Emma sigh behind him.  As he worked, his brow furrowed.  He knew Emma was upset after her difficult day with Hope, but he knew Emma Swan-Jones, perhaps better than she knew herself.  There was something else on her mind, something else that was causing her significant distress. 

Killian set the last bauble on the tree and then sat beside his wife, opening his arms and waiting for her to settle against him before he spoke. 

“Swan, I know when your heart is heavy,” he said.  “Share your burden with me.  What’s amiss?” 

“Well Hope…” 

He stopped her with a gentle finger to her lips.  “Aye, she’s been rather difficult today, but there’s more isn’t there?”

She glanced aside, before reaching for the small box on the coffee table and handing it to him.   

He glanced at it, noting it was one of those wands that could tell if a woman was with child. 

“Swan…?” 

“I…I thought I should take the test,” Emma said, voice thick, “you know, to make sure we’re really pregnant like we think we are.”

“But it’s still in its box unopened.” 

“Yeah,” she said, glancing aside.  “I wanted to wait for you to take it, and then…” 

“Then?” He prompted. 

“Well I got scared.” 

“Of what?” he said, hugging her to him, “what frightens you?” 

She was quiet for a moment, taking the test back, and turning the box over and over absent-mindedly.  “What if it’s negative?” 

Killian rubbed her back in a comforting motion.  “Swan, we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.”

“But I know how excited you are already about this kid…What if…?” 

Killian stopped her with a soft kiss.  “Emma, I would be delighted to welcome a new wee pirate or princess into our home, but even if it doesn’t happen, even if it never happens, I will be perfectly contented.  I have a wife I adore, a daughter I love beyond measure, and a step son with a family to dote upon.” 

She sat up and looked carefully at him.  “Do you really mean that?” 

“Aye,” he said with a decisive nod.  “But I can see the toll this uncertainty is taking upon you.  Perhaps it’s best if we find out once and for all.”

Emma took a deep breath, seeming to steel herself for whatever was to come, and then she got to her feet, taking the box with her.  “Okay, I’m going to go take the test.  Wait here.” 

Emma padded to the powder room off the kitchen, emerging two minutes later, pregnancy test in hand. “Okay, babe, moment of truth,” she said, handing him the small, white wand.  “I can’t look.” 

Killian took a deep breath and then looked down. 

Two pink lines.

“Swan,” he said, smile suffusing his whole face, “it’s positive!” 

She reached for the device, looking for herself before letting out a joyful shout.  “Positive!  Killian, we’re gonna have a baby!” 

Killian got to his feet, enveloped her in his arms and swung her around, both of them laughing and crying.  Emma leaned down and captured Killian’s lips with her own, pouring all of her joy and relief into her kiss.  They collapsed back onto the couch, the kiss continuing as they smiled against each other’s lips. 

Suddenly a shout pierced through their haze of love and happiness.  A shout coming from the direction of Hope’s bedroom. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Hope swiped at the tear tracks on her cheeks.  It wasn’t fair; it just wasn’t fair!  Eli the Elf was the one who did the bad things and she got in trouble for it.

No one believed her.  Not even Daddy.  Oh, he wasn’t as upset as Mama was, but he didn’t believe her either; she could see it in his face. 

And he was disappointed in her.  That was the worst. 

She wished Eli the Elf had never come here!

As soon as she’d followed him from her bedroom and saw him about to start messing up their pretty tree, she’d tried to stop him.  She’d tried to use her magic like Mama did, but it hadn’t worked.  Maybe Hope sized magic wasn’t as powerful as Mama sized magic.

When her magic hadn’t worked, she’d tried to catch him and make him stop, but he was too fast for her. 

He wouldn’t stop until Mama walked into the room.  Then he played dead and let Hope get in trouble. 

“How long you gonna let them keep you couped up in here, kid?” Eli asked from the shelf where Mama had tossed him when she marched Hope to her room.  “The Christmas tree was fun, but there are lots of bigger and better things we can do to shake up this place a little.” 

“Don’t you dare!” Hope growled at him under her breath.  “You already made Mama yell at me and cry.”

Eli shrugged, and hopped down from the shelf, opening her drawers, rifling through, tossing toys and clothes every which way. 

“You stop that right now!” Hope shouted. 

The little imp ignored her, continuing on with his perusal of her things.

Hope was normally a good tempered child.  She rarely got upset, but now, finally this elf had gone too far.  She was not going to get in trouble again for something he did!  She closed her eyes, concentrated as hard as she could and then thrust her arm toward the elf.

Hope knew her magic was working even before it shot from her fingers, the warmth and electricity flowing from her surrounded the elf, wrapping him in light magic bands, like a glowing rope. 

“There!” she cried triumphantly.  “Now I’ve got you!” 

Eli the elf grinned.  It was not a pleasant sight. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Eli said in a smug voice.  “You see kid, your magic brought me to life.  It can’t stop me.  It can only make me stronger.” 

Hope watched in horror as Eli puffed himself up until he got bigger and bigger and bigger.  Soon he was almost as big as Daddy. 

“Mama!  Daddy!” Hope screamed, knowing things had gone completely out of her control. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Killian burst through the nursery door, his hook at the ready, prepared to battle whatever foe was menacing his daughter. 

Or so he thought. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of the Elf on the Shelf not only alive but gigantic.  For a moment, he stood frozen in the doorway, his jaw dropped and his eyes wide, and then he jumped into action, bursting through the door, putting himself in between Hope and her elf. 

“Cygnet go!  Get to safety!”

The elf laughed, knocking Killian aside as though he were merely a ragdoll.  “You think you can defeat me?” the elf taunted.  “You think you can…” 

But before he could finish his thought, suddenly he shrunk, eyes becoming glassy, body turning back to cloth and cotton.

“Yeah, I’m sure he could have,” Emma said, stepping into the room and kicking the elf she’d just turned back into a toy, “but he doesn’t have to.  I’ll take great pleasure in kicking your…” she glanced toward Hope “butt all the way back to the North Pole.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Several hours later, Emma climbed into her big, comfortable four-poster bed and burrowed into her husband’s warmth. 

“So, never a dull moment in Storybrooke is there?” she said, deadpan. 

Killian laughed, rubbing comforting circles along her back.  “Final battle won, final villain defeated, and yet it still seems there’s more excitement in this small burg than in any of the realms.”

Emma chuckled and then sobered.  “I didn’t believe her, Killian.  My own daughter, and I didn’t believe her when she told us the truth about what happened.  What kind of a person does that make me?” 

“A human being,” Killian said gently.  “Her story was rather outlandish.  I had my doubts as well, if you’ll recall.  Hope is resilient love.  She knows how much you love her, and she’s forgiven you already.” 

After she’d zapped the elf, turned it back into an inanimate object and then locked it in their creepy Dark One dungeon that they kept padlocked until they could figure out how to turn it back into a normal basement, Emma had returned to Hope’s bedroom and given her a long, comforting hug, feeling her toddler sniff against her as the fear and excitement of the day slowly receded. 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Emma murmured into Hope’s riotous blond curls.  “I should have listened when you tried to tell me the truth.”

 “It’s okay Mama,” Hope said.  “It was my fault Eli comed to life.”

Hope had gone on to explain the whole story to her stunned parents. 

“We really did make an amazing kid, didn’t we?” Emma said.  “How did it never even occur to us that she might have magic?” 

“A terrible oversight on our part, love,” Killian said, chuckling.  “She’s the second generation product of True Love.  Of bloody course she has magic.” 

“We need to talk to Regina, have her train Hope, get a handle on this thing,” Emma said.  “Magic’s great, but man can it go wrong if you don’t have it controlled.” 

Killian kissed her.  “Aye.”  Reaching down, he cupped her still-flat stomach, caressing their unborn child in the only way he could at the moment.  “What do you think are the odds this wee one will have magic as well?” 

Emma groaned.  “We’re in for a wild ride with two of them, aren’t we?” 

Killian laughed.  “That we are, Swan, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.  Together, this family can handle anything.” 

Emma hummed in agreement, and for a moment they fell silent, and then Killian chuckled.

“What?” she asked, noting the mischievous look in his eyes.

“I think it would only be good form, love, for you to admit that I was right about the Elf on the Shelf.” 

Emma rolled her eyes with a grin.  “And you’re never going to let me forget it, are you?” 

He shook his head.  “Never.” 

Emma sighed.  “There’s going to be no living with you after this.  I dread the moment you learn about the Easter Bunny.”

NEXT CHAPTER->

[cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong]

ik this is a big ask but could you explain the stuff on the iceberg [https://www.tumblr.com/cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong/687078174822137858/my-proposal-for-a-mischief-iceberg-theres-so] because i'm very new to this fandom and i have no idea what most of it is referring to or any way of finding out.

Hi! Yes of course I'd love to explain this post!!!

It's a very long post so I'll put the full explanation under this cut. I've tried to provide the clips where possible and actually had a really great time going back through my blog to find all these fandom memes haha! Lmk if there's anything else you want explaining + welcome to the fandom!!! :))

Thank you to everyone who's videos/posts/compilations I've included in this post!!! And if anyone has any more context or clips they'd like to add please add them :))

1-

Winston - a dog that is supposed to be in their play Murder at Haversham Manor (The Play That Goes Wrong) but they lose the dog and run around the audience asking if anyone has seen him .

Bunk beds - In Peter Pan goes wrong there is a triple bunk bed that collapses into the actors (bbc recording of it)

Max + Sandra - one of the biggest ships in the fandom which is actually canon. They get together in Peter Pan goes wrong and their relationship develops across the 'goes wrong extended universe' (BBC ppgw video)

Snap snap guy - Dave Hearn originated the role of Max who plays the crocodile in ppgw. He said that people would recognise him in public and call him the 'snap snap guy'

2-

[Corpses corpsing] - In one of their mischief movie night in improvised films, actors that were playing dead bodies started laughing at Harry Kershaw attempting to make something that rhymed with 'amygdala' and saying 'you have the feeling like the tightening of a sphincter' which was posted by mischief on their socials with the caption 'corpses corpsing'

Doors - mischief shows always have plenty of door gags where doors won't open, break, actors get stuck in them etc etc another source

Old neighbour Joe - a character in '90 degrees' an episode of the goes wrong show where half of the set is built sideways so they see 'old neighbour joe' falling past the window outside their house

Tattoos - a fandom hunt to try and work out what Dave and Shields' tattoos are of one two three

Doctor frog - in 'harpers locket' (TGWS) max has a piece of paper on which he's written his idea for a play about 'doctor frog'

BaEeEr? - confusion between Dennis and Vanessa about whether Vanessa is asking for a 'beer' or a 'bear' (90 degrees - tgws)

3-

Delta Von Tassel - a character suggested for a mischief movie night in movie who was a character with no name that spoke in rhyming couplets which became Harry Kershaw playing 'delta Von Tassel' and struggling to rhyme DVT compilation

Bryony + Laura kiss - 2 people kissed during a performance of mischief movie night in after forgetting they're not allowed to due to COVID restrictions

Shields and Dave 54 below - shields and Dave hosted '54 celebrates the muppets' and caused a little bit of mischief one two

DOCTOR josh Elliott? - running joke during mischief movie night runs over one of the actors being a doctor and fandom confusion about what this actually meant one two three

Max/Trevor - another popular ship in the fandom between Max and Trevor (the stage manager/techie)

Jonathan Vs Harry Kershaw - rivalry between Jonathan sayer who played 'oscar' in most mischief movie nights and Harry Kershaw who frequently caused chaos in mischief movie nights rivalry compilation

MIND MINd Mind Mind - 'magic goes wrong' features a character called the mind mangler who does 'magic tricks' and has powers of the mind (mind mind) but the repetition effect after he says 'mind' starts to not work properly

4-

Enjoying the armoire? - one member of mischief plays an armoire in one mmni but they soon discover none of them know what an armoire actually is one two

Put your trousers in the cabinét - Harry Kershaw plays a 'salacious filing cabinet' and sings a song where he rhymes 'say' with 'cabinet' which completely breaks Dave Hearn

Chris leask's rump - Chris leask (plays Trevor in tgws) lies on a table with his arse out as the other actors prepare to 'carve the rump' one two

Execute dick - at the end of their Shakespeare gws episode they wanted to have Robert say 'execute dick' but had to change it to 'execute Chris' because of the Bbc (timestamp- 16.39)

Sandra/max/Trevor - max has two hands meme merging 2 popular gws ships

Henry shields scarf - shields just wears a specific scarf a lot

5-

Nancy and Dave fistbump - Nancy revealed her and Dave Hearn try to sneak a fist bump into lots of the goes wrong show episodes

Trevor/BBC guy - a ship that evolved out of the scenes in BBC Peter Pan goes wrong between cornleys techie (Trevor) and the BBC stage manager

Henry Shields + hot air balloons - Henry shields was trying to get his hot air ballooning licence before COVID

Catching the hat - a miraculous hat toss and catch during a mischief movie night in hat catch compilation

Harry Kershaw thrusting - Harry Kershaw thrusted so hard in a mmni that he fell over

Chris + Robert in the Amazon rainforest - as part of some advertising they created a video that means canonically Chris and Robert accidentally went to the Amazon rainforest

Cpds family run the BBC - big discussion about the reasoning behind why the BBC let cornley back even after the chaos they caused in the past condensed post of the discussion and a bit extra

6-

Papel enforcer - a character created in mmni to catch 'a rogue nun' that was honestly baffling and confused even some cast members (looking at you Henry Lewis) papel enforcer compilation (the very first section of that video)

Koala/human love story - mmni where Bryony Corrigan plays a human spy and Henry shields plays her pet koala. They fall in love.

Shark monologue - Henry Lewis was playing Oscar in a mmni in which there is a shark monologue

Niall's fan catch - niall has a fan thrown to him in a mmni which he catches with one hand and it's very impressive

Teletubbies - at the end of the Bbc Peter Pan goes wrong, their set of a ship breaks off the main set and goes through various BBC studios. Along the way it picks up some teletubbies

Where be my man penis - Annie plays a king in their Shakespeare play (tgws) and has her clothes ripped off her by accident and looks down at her crotch and trying to maintain Shakespearian language says 'where be my man penis? Tis vanishèd' (timestamp 1.48)

Merry Fodliman's green fruit pastilles - groan ups cast performed at the royal variety performance in 2019 George Haynes did an Instagram takeover in which he and Nancy zamit gave fun celebrity stories but changed the celebrities names so you wouldn't know who they were talking about (but it was pretty obvious who they were talking about. Merry Fodliman for example was Kerry godliman a comedian)

7-

Chris bean's speculum - Chris gets very weird about how Vanessa hands him a speculum during an improvved piece in the festival episode of tgws prompting discussions about why he cared so much the clip (timestamp 1.29)

Hello, Steve/it's ben - harry Kershaw as delta Von Tassel tried to rhyme something with another characters name but ended up using the wrong name

Very bad kiss, many dead hamsters - a quote from Groan Ups (a criminally underrated mischief show) after some characters have kissed at a school reuinion and accidentally killed/lost the school's pet hamster groan ups summary here and this post shows a decent view of the hamster situation though it's a joke that continues through most of the second act

Dennis/Vanessa/Sandra/max/Trevor/BBC guy - the max has 2 hands meme taken to the extreme combining many popular ships

70s family photo - all of cornley dressed like they were in the 70s as a gag in an episode of the goes wrong show

8-

Mary had a little lamb (sexy) - a song from a mmni that is honestly just extremely disturbing but difficult to look away from

Jonathan on a dog lead - it's pretty much what it says. Jonathan was in a mmni instead of playing Oscar and he played a dog that crawled around on a lead and made everyone uncomfy

Harry Kershaw's YouTube channel - does what it says on the tin again. He has a very funny video posted.

I have painted myself green - shields painted himself green for a bit on twitter

Hope this was helpful in your mischief journey!!! There's so many more things I wish I could include on that iceberg haha

[shegeekery]

Dream Therapy (one-shot)

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Loki (TV 2021) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Erik Selvig, Loki (Marvel), Jane Foster (Marvel) Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Dr. Erik Selvig struggles to recover from having a god in his head. A strange dream helps him see things in a new light.

“In related news, a lawsuit has been filed by New York contractors who argue that no-bid contracts are being granted to a small number of well-connected real estate developers, following the large-scale destruction of parts of Manhattan during the alien attacks two years ago.”

Dr. Erik Selvig switched off the television.

Two years. Selvig wanted nothing more than to forget the entire thing, especially his own part in it. My unwilling part in it, he reminded himself.

He’d had two years of therapy, medications, meditation, and trying to lose himself in his work. He was better than he had been when he was arrested for running around Stonehenge sans clothing. He could at least stand to wear clothing now, but he still found it difficult to focus with his trousers on. It felt too restrictive, reminding him uncomfortably of the sensation of being totally controlled.

There was no recognized diagnosis for “possession by malevolent deity”, so they were officially treating him for PTSD. Some of it helped, much of it didn’t. He felt more himself these days, but the nights were bad. In his dreams, Loki was still there. Still threatening. Still taunting him.

As a child listening to the old myths of his homeland, he’d loved the stories about Loki, the God of Mischief. He’d been tickled by the idea that there was actually a god for that. Now, just the mention of that name could bring on flashbacks to a time when he’d been utterly consumed by Loki’s blind ambition and disregard for human life, unable to think for himself and enslaved, body and mind, to Loki’s “glorious purpose”.

He sighed and turned back to his work. He’d been at the same problem for months, trying to account for discrepancies between the standard model of quantum mechanics and the observed behavior of Einstein-Rosen bridges. His friend and former student, Jane Foster, had provided some valuable insights, but he still couldn’t make all the pieces fit. 

I’m too tired for this. He shut his laptop and went through his evening routine. He took his medication, including sleeping pills, and hoped this would be one of the good nights.

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“How is your work coming along, Dr. Selvig?” Loki asked.

Selvig looked up from the graph on his computer monitor. What had he been working on, exactly? He didn’t know, but it was important. Very important.

“I…it’s…coming along,” he stammered. “Just, um, running some simulations.”

Loki glanced at the monitor. Instead of a complicated graph, it now showed a cartoon in which Garfield was taunting Odi.

“I suspect your heart isn’t in it, Doctor,” Loki replied in that quietly menacing tone he so often used. He raised his scepter. “Perhaps we need to ensure that your loyalty is still paramount?”

Selvig jerked out of the chair and backed away. “No! That’s not necessary. Really!”

Loki advanced toward him. “Oh, but I think it is.”

Selvig ran out of the room and into an endless hallway. He looked back, but Loki wasn’t there. He turned to see where he was going, and there was Loki, ahead of him, grinning maliciously. He ran the other way and back through the door, but now he was outside. It was dark, and he was in a nondescript alley. He kept running, turning a corner only to find himself at a dead end. He whirled around to find Loki advancing slowly toward him with the scepter.

“No! Please, not again!” Selvig pleaded.

Loki took another step toward him, then froze. Confused, Selvig waited for the inevitable, but Loki still didn’t move. The god was as still as a statue of himself.

“What’s happening?” Selvig asked.

“Dr. Selvig.” It was Loki’s voice, but his lips didn’t move and the voice seemed to be coming from…everywhere.

“What…what is this?”

“You’re safe, Dr. Selvig,” the voice said. It sounded surprisingly gentle. “This isn’t real. Just a dream. A nightmare.”

“Is this a trick?”

“No. Well, yes, actually. Your mind is playing tricks on you. But it’s your mind, Dr. Selvig. Nobody is controlling it now. You are free — and always will be, if I have anything to say about it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Please look at my eyes, Dr. Selvig. What do you see?”

Selvig looked at Loki. In his eyes, he saw the malevolence, anger, and fierce determination that he remembered. “I see…fury.”

“And behind that fury?”

Selvig stepped just a bit closer, staring at the still-unmoving Loki, for the first time trying to really see him.

“I see…” he stopped, afraid to give voice to what he thought he saw.

“Go ahead. It’s alright.”

“I see…fear?”

“Yes, Dr. Selvig. Fear, and self-loathing. I was terrified — and I used intimidation to hide it, trying to make everyone around me more afraid than I was. I tormented those weaker than I was, to cover my own weakness. I wanted to rule by force and by fear, because I thought I was unworthy of true respect.”

On some level, Selvig understood that he was dreaming— but for some reason that realization wasn’t causing him to wake up as it normally would. The dream still seemed real to him.

“Why are you telling me this? Or…am I telling myself this?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s true and that you know it’s true. What I did to you was unforgivable. You’re a decent man, Dr. Selvig. None of it was your fault. Not even a god can withstand the power of the mind stone. Even so, you managed to sneak in an off-switch for the Tesseract’s force field while under my control. That’s a testament to your unusual strength of character and of mind. I underestimated you.”

“How do I make this stop, then?”

“That’s up to you, Doctor. Do whatever makes sense. If you want to hit me, hit me. Or vent your own rage in some other way. Here and now, you are the strong one.”

Selvig stood before Loki, hands balling into fists, feeling his own anger rising to replace the fear. Loki’s body remained frozen, but his eyes were now tracking Selvig’s every move. The urge to pummel him was overwhelming — but now that he’d seen the growing fear in Loki’s eyes, he couldn’t help but feel just a tiny bit sorry for him.

He took a step back. “No.”

“No?”

“I don’t need to hit you. That’s what you’d do, but it’s not me. Just…get out. Leave me alone and don’t come back.”

Loki simply faded away, leaving Selvig standing alone in the alley, which soon began to fade as well. Selvig felt himself floating, feeling more at peace with himself than he had in a long time. He was floating in a bed of seaweed — no, not seaweed; the long, thin strands that cradled him with warmth were glowing with a soft, greenish light, rocking him gently and lulling him into a more peaceful slumber.

He didn’t even startle when he heard Loki’s voice once more.

“One more thing, Dr. Selvig. In the morning, you may want to take a closer look at the rate of decay of particles entering the Einstein-Rosen bridge. I think you may find it interesting.”

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“Erik, hi! How are you doing?” Jane Foster always started their phone conversations that way these days.

“I’m doing great! Listen, I just sent you a rather long document, but the short version is…I think I’ve cracked it! I found a way to square the Einstein-Rosen bridge with the standard model!”

“Seriously? That’s huge! I’ll check it out as soon as I can! What turned it around?”

“I looked at the rate of decay of particles entering the stream.”

“Woah! I didn’t even consider that. What made you think of it?”

“Would you believe it came to me in a dream?”