#family jokes

[thora-sniper]

Every time when my children ask to give them something when I'm set the table and put something on dishes I say them that I have no Venom in me to provide me some more limbs to manipulate.

i wish i had a comfy hoodie and a beefy alien bf fr

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[sailoreuterpe]

Roadkill Sanctuary Playlist

How do you Stop the Monkeys Dancing in my Brain?

Cockroach Flicking should be an Olympic Sport

One of us is Crazy, and it isn't me

Pi Equals 3.14159 (the Geek Song)

If I Told You, would You Leave?

On a Completely Unrelated Topic

It must be Love, or I am Insane

My Cat is going to Mars

Only a Danger to Myself

Pinecones have no Salt

Satan was my Nephew

Mucous Magic

[georgexms]

Hip Hop 2000s Music Mix Hits 🎶

⬇️ 𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗘 ⬇️ ➡️ www.bit.ly/GeorgeXMS ⬅️

Dive into the golden era of hip hop with "Hip Hop 2000s Music Mix Hits 🎶"! This curated collection brings you the best classic hip hop and rap hits from the 2000s, an unforgettable decade that shaped the culture of music. From iconic beats to legendary lyrics, this mix is perfect for fans of vintage hip hop, retro rap, and classic urban vibes.

🎶 What You’ll Experience:

A throwback playlist of timeless hip hop and rap hits from the 2000s. Legendary tracks by some of the greatest artists of the era. A nostalgic journey for lovers of classic and retro urban music. Whether you’re a longtime fan of #HipHop, #2000sMusic, or just discovering the magic of this iconic decade, this mix is sure to have you nodding your head and reminiscing about the good times.

💬 Share your favorite 2000s hip hop track in the comments! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell for more epic music collections and nostalgic mixes.

📢 Join the community of classic hip hop fans and keep the spirit of the 2000s alive. Press play and let the beats take over!

Keywords: hip hop 2000s, retro rap, classic hip hop music, vintage urban songs, iconic rap hits.

#HipHop #2000sMusic #RapHits #ClassicHipHop #RetroRap #VintageHipHop #2000sHits #OldSchoolRap #HipHopMix #ThrowbackBeats

[doghowto]

Man unintentionally teaches his Corgi sign language! 😊 Follow me for more smart puppers!

[buggachat]

MERRY CHRISTMAS @alazic02!!!

[melinaedition]

Hilarious Jokes for the Whole Family: A Treasure Trove of Knock-Knocks, One-Liners, and More...

by Melina Edition

[amevdw]

[prlssprfctn]

No matter if you choose to consider that Jason had the worst time ever in the League of Assassins or that, quite opposite, it was more or less okay, I think we all should unite and agree that Jason would be Ra's bane of existence. This boy is a brat. A certificated one, even. He is not an easy boy to handle, never and ever.

Ra's, after locking Jason up away from the society for a few days: Now. Do you realise what I am trying to say to you? You should focus on your studies. On your trainings. Forget about easy, normal life, about teenage shenanigans. Find peace. Throw unnecessary thoughts away.

Jason, yawning: Yeah, okay. Sure.

Ra's waking up in the 5am because someone is blasting NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye on the whole castle: Talia. What is this?

Talia, shrugging: Jason found old music speakers. He says he is... focusing like this. Just like you advised him to.

Ra's with his eye twitching: Is. he. Now.

Ra's: (accidentally trips on his cloak)

One of the Assassins, in their local comms: Chat, clip that

Ra's, frowning: What is that? What had you said? What is this nonsense?

Assasin: Uh, general had taught us—

Ra's: STOP LISTENING TO HIM, FOR GOD'S SAKE

Ra's: Talia, we need to send the boy to All-Caste. I think he needs some time away. From us. From me. Specifically.

(A certain amount time later)

Ra's, sighing in relief: Finally, peace—

Jason, spawning behind his back: Hi.

Ra's, groaning: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THE CLEANSING CEREMONY, OH MY GOD

Jason: Wanna check All Blade? It is kinda cool.

Ra's, pausing: ...Yeah.

Ra's farewelling Jason, who returns to Gotham: I have nothing to wish upon you. Be as annoying to Batman as you were to me.

Jason, smirking: Aw-w, I barely unleashed my annoyingness with you, Ra's. Bruce is going to suffer more.

Ra's: ...Good.

Ra's, closing the door behind him: Barricade the castle. Set bombs. I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM HERE EVER AGAIN!!!

Also Ra's a half of a year later, watching footage of Jason terrorising everyone's life in Gotham, with tears in his eyes: That's my grandson. I am so proud of him.

Talia, raising her eyebrows: You tried to drown him in the Lazarus Pit. Twice.

Ra's: Shhh.

Talia: Then I'll invite him on holidays this year.

Ra's: NO.

[atley01]

Sorry to anyone who's finding out via this meme.

Me scrambling to make this meme like Im riding in via horseback to warn my town about an invasion

[metamatronic]

felt like drawing the kiddos

[chloesimaginationthings]

How William Afton got his wife in FNAF

[batsyheere]

Duke, who is tired of being bullied for still having only a few spots checked off on vigilante bingo, decides to get even when family game night includes Never Have I Ever. Danny, who is either a friend or basically adopted family at this point, was invited.

He brings up the fact that he has never died and been brought back to life. Multiple fingers are put down, groans and complaints are made, and then they all turn to Danny when he just stares at the ground.

"If it happened more than once, do I put more fingers down? Or just the one?" he asks. The room falls silent for a few seconds before the flood of questions start.

[siyaazu]

True pacifist ending.

[majubengel]

Family Portrait~

Extra: