#fall semester 2024

[effelier]

Tomorrow I start my seventh semester. I'm sad to leave, I'll miss my mom and sisters very much. I'll also miss this home, it is cozy and clean and functional. And I'll miss watching law and order svu with my mom. I'll miss everything. But I know I will be ok. I will be with dad. Dad who spoils me. Dad who supports me to the ends of the world. Dad who told me to have milk with my breakfast on my first day of university because he wanted me to have all the energy needed. And I'll see my friends now and then. And I'll study and work really really hard to thank my family for their love and support. And to stand on my own two feet someday.

[elarastudieslanguages]

2024.09.02

First day of classes

Monday which means classes have started and the first week of actual studying has begun! Went to campus, came home after dinner. Did a 20-minute study session for Finnish at home with comprehensible input videos on Youtube. (Which makes me sound more productive than I was. I was too tired to finish the last video so I gave up about five minutes in XD)

I started watching Geek Girl on Netflix yesterday and accidentally binge-watched like 7 episodes. It's a bit cheesy, a bit Wattpad, but so fun and I'm enjoying it to the fullest~ Super recommend if you're into those types of shows. Gonna watch one episode (or maybe two c;) before bed.

🎧 My headphones have run out of battery and I have lost my charger so I'm going to have to study without a soundtrack until I buy myself a new one T^T

[doctorsiren]

Day 25 of Sirentober / Doctober

Muse / Oracle

The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

Available as a print on my Etsy Shop

[zzzuyuo]

[glowpart2]

some highlights from 2023 ⭐️🍀🐇such a fun love filled year

[brb-on-a-quest]

the bookwyrm urge to collect so many notebooks and planners as if that will fix me-

[a9saga]

the brilliant green - sayonara summer is over // it is that time again

[orcelito]

Determined to finally get my license within the first few months of this year. Gonna get my permit renewed next week. After I get my license, I will look into buying a car... which... ugh. But with my tax return, if I find smth relatively cheap with a decent payment plan, I think I can do it

I just think that the independence of being able to drive myself places will help me a lot. The rest of the things will follow.

[thatvalentinefellow]

5:00am.

my anxiety's been too high to update my diary regularly. my heartrate has not gone down in the last few days since 6 November. it's made it very hard to fall asleep, and stay asleep, and my health mentally and physically has suffered as a result. 9 November was a little better, as i've been able to finally rest and take care of myself, but the anxiety remains. i'm so annoyed by my fast heartrate now. i've realized that it's because i'm in fight or flight mode--i was talking about it with my chosen sister K on the phone, and when she mentioned that phrase, it began to click for me. my body is pumping me full of adrenaline because it's trying to get me ready to RUN if i need to. but i have no reason, and nowhere to run. in my mind, i know that i'm currently safe. nothing is happening. but my body doesn't recognize that, it's as if it's responding to an immediate threat. it's ramping up my anxiety and my OCD, which is also difficult to navigate.

but my friend A has been keeping track of me at my request, and checking in to make sure i eat at regular times and full meals. the girl i'm seeing (i'll refer to as Sinta--old Filipino term of endearment--from here on out) has also been wonderfully understanding and kind. it has been hard to accept care, as i want to be the one to take care of her, but i am also deeply grateful for her care, and becoming more and more endeared and in love with her than ever.

i feel as if i'm rapidly becoming Jonathan Harker, and the thought is amusing.

[creameemoofins]

Pumpkin ice cream again!

[effelier]

Something I like about university is that it's so unlike my past school experiences. Which is the reason I hated yesterday's "first day of school vibes". I get that it was indeed the first day of uni for many kids, but not for me! So why are they rubbing their freshmen vibes on me?

[elarastudieslanguages]

2024.09.06

I unfortunately didn’t get the best start to this semester. Got sick and couldn’t attend classes this week, which tends to make life a bit messy, especially this early on. But I’m back to normal and making up for the lectures I missed so hopefully everything runs more smoothly from now on.

The good thing is that I started a new book! So far it’s pretty nice. And I did manage to study Finnish a bit despite not being in the best shape.

Tomorrow I have a study date with a friend so I’m going to work on the materials from the lectures that I’ve missed. Hopefully I’ll get to tick a few of the lectures off of my list and be a bit more prepared for next week.

🎧: upbeat music for motivation!

[opus72]

this was. a fucking WEEK

[zzzuyuo]

converse high.

[fuse-chi]

So I moved on from tumblr because I thought my tumblr fashion girlie phase was over.

2 years later I have instead become an History major guy.

My soul has not moved on from tumblr.

[voulezloux]

.