#failure as spy??

[marveladdictx]

Failure as a spy? At this point, Loid should wear clown makeup 🤡

[they-hermes]

the transformers fandom really needs to talk more about brainstorm as a double agent in order to access decepticon technology for his little science project, because could you imagine? try lifting your hand and name off as many decepticon scientists from the top of your head that aren't just shockwave. who's fucking lab did that man invade? who did have to talk to in order to get his resources? did he have to enlist? did he personally work alongside shockwave? the implications are astounding

[piracytheorist]

Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.

Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.

She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.

Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...

and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...

... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.

[all-pacas]

Chase, s1e8: I gave my mum a bit of trouble when I was [the patient's age], and I turned out alright. Even she thought so.

you fucking liar. she died when you were in high school.

i just watched 'socratic method' too, and huh! yeah! good shit! chase trying to warn 15-year-old luke away from spending his life taking care of his mom, admitting he "would have done the same thing," able to explain the hyper-organization of the house to foreman - this is what you do, you try to control everything, you organize and list and track and it's like you're making a difference. chase watching luke reunite with his now-sane mom, looking away and leaving because that wasn't him. (house being weirdly nice to luke. sympathetic. you did a good job given your situation. you've taken good care of her. )

rowan chase showing up, smiling sincerely and greeting his son "dr chase." actually seeming pleased to see him. probably even proud. he made something of himself. he's glad his son comes to see him off. he smiles when they hug. he doesn't tell him he's dying anyway. he still abandoned him. rowan telling chase it wasn't his job to take care of his mother, that it was too much for a kid (house telling luke he did the best he could). rowan abandoning him to do it anyway.

chase in s8, explaining to adams his mother died with him hating her, his mother used to lock him away for hours and hours. the implication that rowan was proud, did care and even love his son, but was a shitty and neglectful father anyway. the implication that chase's mother couldn't have thought he turned out alright, that he was "too much" for her and she'd lock him up, that maybe one of the reasons he hated her was that she hadn't been a loving parent even before she fell apart.

(that chase has a much younger sister, in diapers when he was 15. almost certainly still a minor, still a teenager, when he goes to the US. that he says she wasted "half her life" drinking, when she's probably only in her 20s.)

it's so fucked you guys it's so fucked

[wolfgang1097]

That, folks, was the birth of Death Metal music. LOL!

Warning: for anybody who is bold enough, brace yourselves as the following may seem vaguely graphic:

Cripes, that is just straight up karma for White after he forced the Black Embassy geisha at gunpoint to have a clam form a pearl around a bugged microphone. From what I understand, White wasn't even aware that the geisha was affiliated with the Black Embassy. Either way, that was definitely karma. Holy crap, did Prohias seriously draw a BRAIN here? (Yes. Yes he did.) This is another case of Prohias's strips that make me think to myself and I can't help it, sorry, but imagine Kuper's era. Either way, wow. Just wow.

I do not claim ownership of any content. This was taken from "Missions of Madness," which is a reprint of "The Fourth Declassified Files of Spy vs. Spy." (Again, shout out to @vockoronst for the info about Anna's Archives last night.) Spy vs. Spy belongs to the defunct MAD magazine and Antonio Prohias.

[cheemscakecat]

Missing In Action 12

Chapter 12: Malum

Now that Scout knows who New Spy is, he needs to reconcile that version of him and the old man he’s been disappointed in. He and the rest of RED are in for something big.

TW: GORE. Do not eat anything during this chapter, I’m dead serious. And of course, heavy angst.

Scout stared dully at nothing and his ears started to ring. Newbie was Spy! His crusty old man that did all those ****ty things.

He thought about it, and in a way it almost made sense. They did find this guy in some random desert cave in the direction Old Spy was going. But it was impossible for him to picture either version of Spy in the other’s place, much less see them as the same guy.

Older Spy always looked stuck up, and he never just hung out like his younger self. He definitely never cooked for everyone. And younger Spy was such a good friend, telling off his crappy brothers and having fun in battle. To Jeremy the difference was night and day.

But if Spy left them when he thought Admin was going to kill him, and going to kill Ma and all her sons… Scout remembered the whole Joey Murders thing and how Spy protected him then. He couldn’t pretend that Spy didn’t love him or Ma, not knowing what he did now. But why had he stayed away?

They were supposed to go watch a video cassette, right? Jeremy didn’t know what that meant, but it might help him understand things better. He needed to know more. He needed to know what Admin did to make Spy sure he was facing certain death.

Because he cared about young Spy, and he didn’t want to hate him.

——————-

Demoman was frightful worried about Scout, the whole team too. Of all the times he could’a found out where Spy was, why’d it hafta be when he was bleeding’ out?

Tavish remembered how numb he felt when his biological parents told him who he really was. He’d just killed his adoptive parents by mistake. His head was reeling and he reeked of death, but to them it was the perfect time to insert themselves into his life.

But then again, respawn failure sounded serious. He wasn’t confident that Spy would survive the surgery and healing, but he didn’t want to say so. He hoped that Jeremy wouldn’t have to say his goodbyes, but at least he knew where Spy was. Problem being that he just got Spy back.

The team tried to talk Scout into giving himself a few minutes to process things b’fore they went to watch the tape. But he wanted to know the truth. He wanted to know what Admin did to make this young, friendly Spy abandon his family.

Truth be told, Tavish was wondering himself. Spy was not brick stupid or unreasonable, he didn’t jump to wild conclusions. Something must have happened for him to think this was the right thing to do. Now it was time to find out what that was.

——————————-

Dr Ludvig had never paid much attention to BLU Team’s emotions. He was far more interested in whether or not they were planning to attack, not their reaction to him. But both RED and BLU were gathered to watch the tape, and Pauling would be watching it once she had a chance. It was the same BLU team whose Spy he decapitated.

BLU Spy looked forlorn before he even noticed Ludvig, but once he did, the man shuddered and leaned away from him. Medic found it odd that the Spy wouldn’t look him in the eye, and that other BLU teammates moved to shield him in case he decided to get closer.

Then again, RED team was uneasy around him too. He supposed it was just odd to see a Spy unable to force a poker face, this one having done so for the four days he was trapped in the fridge.

Well, he wouldn’t bother them for it. He sat very far away near the wall, surrounded by the rest of RED. Both Heavies came back, reporting that the BLU Medic was going into surgery. Earlier, Ludvig was told that this BLU Medic was the only person with clearance to perform the surgeries, even with all the years of respawn failures that had happened.

Knowing how Helen had treated Ms Pauling, he could easily believe it. The old Admin was the type of person to use, and use, and use someone until they broke or got too old to work. Then she’d throw them away.

BLU Engineer had set up the big computer in the meeting room, and he had the tape in his hand. “I’ve been told to warn y’all that there’s a lotta gore in this here video. We BLU teammates don’t know what Medic meant by that, he’s never shown us one’a these.” He frowned. “These tapes are classified, Admin made it so they could only be played if a relevant respawn failure happened. Otherwise, Doc isn’t allowed to show anybody.”

Medic had heard of the respawn failures, but all of the details were kept under strict lock and key. He knew there was an exodus of frightened mercenaries who wanted to avoid their own respawn failures, but not the number of deaths or accidents. Even in his insanity, he knew it was mad for one person to deal with it. But a different kind of mad than willingly infiltrating Germany’s government for assassinations.

It didn’t surprise him that Soy had seen Admin as someone who would order him killed. She put a dead man with a TV in front of them and revealed a blackmail plot a few years ago. She knew too much about them. It was possible that she learned too much about Spy many years earlier when he was this age.

——————

The video opened on footage from the Malum Base. Friendly sparring in the training room, getting drunk on game night, and reckless dares between the mercs were shown. What was different from Spy’s current team was that he walked around base maskless, even though he had one available to wear. He also made those massive feasts for Malum, frequently enough that there was a lot of footage. There were also some group pictures sprinkled through the intro of the video.

Sniper could feel it in his gut that something was going to go wrong. They were showing the calm before the storm, and there had to be a reason. Each Malum teammate’s portrait and name was flashed onscreen. Spy’s name was Antoine Murneau, a fact that Mundy doubted he shared willingly. But Admin was a nasty woman who would dig around for any info she pleased.

The screen went black and showed a date: August 12, 1946. Camera footage showed the Malum Medic dying to a BLU Scout with a bat. Footage from the respawn room played, but it was the audio that was important. There was a fainter noise that Sniper couldn’t make out, and a violent thumping that got weak and stopped. The Medic never walked out of that chamber.

Instead, the Malum Scout was killed in battle, and quickly bolted out of the respawn chamber. He started waving his arms frantically at the camera, shouting for help, saying “He’d dead! Stop the battle! he’s ****ing dead!”

On screen, they showed a before and after picture. The BLU Sniper gagged, having gotten all the puke out already. When the Malum Medic respawned, his head wasn’t put back on the right way. His neck was twisted and darkly bruised in a revolting manner, his eyes and tongue were bulging like a dead fish.

He suffocated trying to open the door; his head was facing the wrong way and he couldn’t find the emergency release latch. And that left the poor BLU Medic to get designated for any future respawn failures. If it had been someone else, this guy probably would have been forced to deal with it too, for better or for worse. Mundy didn’t know if death was a mercy for him or not, if there were more failures to come. Bloody Hell..

—————————

The whole Malum team was sat down to film their reactions to the respawn failure. It was mostly the sort of thing you’d expect someone to say hours after something like that, but Spy’s response was interesting. “He said he wanted to go to Iceland. To.. for when he was older.” “That’s called retirement.” The camera guy clearly sounded annoyed and harsh, the last person you’d want in charge of grief interviews. “He wanted to retire to a funny place. Thought ze Vikings were funny for ze Iceland-Greenland prank. I think ze Sniper will miss him a lot.”

BLU Medic was also interviewed, and it became apparent that he was shaken and sympathetic to Malum’s plight. At least the doctor was a good person who cared, unlike the camera crew interviewing. “I just don’t understand how it happened.. I mean the machine spawned the Scout properly, but not the Medic. If there’s something that’s defective in their respawn, it’d be essential to find out what it is. Keep another faulty piece from getting used.”

“Yeah, yeah, Jules Archibald foundation is on the case. Listen, pal this is a 1 in a million mistake. Don’t go around acting like the company is faulty over 1 mistake.” Wasn’t this Archibald guy someone that the Administrator threatened and fired? Happened after Ludvig started working for RED, but he had no idea it was connected. He got a distinct feeling that the company was faulty, especially if the camera crew represented the type of men they hired.

————————

Heavy was saddened to see that Malum Medic was not the only dead teammate, and he knew in his heart there would be more. On November the 27, 1946 Malum’s soldier was burnt by a Pyro, like any other battle. But when he stumbled out of the respawn chamber, he was still on fire with something sliding off him. In the before and after images, it was said to be new skin. The machine was trying to replace the burnt flesh, but it wasn’t attached to him, and it was adding literal fuel to the fire.

This time the BLU Medic managed to reach him when the man was alive, but that was when they realized the medigun could not heal these wounds. They tried taking him to surgery, but it failed. A regular surgery was not capable of saving a respawn victim’s life. And because it was only the second case, the poor Medic did not know what else to try.

“I’m sorry. The skin was healthy, and I tried grafting it onto him but… it was like the flesh itself was against being healed. I couldn’t save him.” BLU Medic thought of something. “There was a lot of skin to work with, more than the two a person has naturally. Maybe there’s a duplication glitch in the respawn computer…” He was rudely cut off by the interview men.

Heavy didn’t like these men. Clearly they worked for that disgraced businessman Archibald. Not much was known about what he had done, but Ms Administrator didn’t often get rid of the middlemen in her employ, people who knew the workings of BLU and RED.

This Jules Archibald man must have been a truly worthless fellow, causing enough of a problem for Admin to intervene. That did not bode well for the fate of Malum team, and the fact that they were not on the American map.

————————-

“Mr. Soldier was planning a trip with me. He uh… wanted to try the many seafood at our destination.” “Where were you guy’s headed?” Spy didn’t reply. “Oh, so you’ll tell us where the other guy was retiring, but not this? C’mon kid, work with us.” Spy refused to answer and his interview ended.

Oh God. He was going to take Malum’s soldier to introduce Ma, and Scout as a baby. Jeremy realized that real soldiers saw a lot of death. It made sense to show him some new life in the face of the Medic dying. But he never got the chance. It struck him that Spy was really, really close with his team if he trusted one of them to meet his family.

The Malum Heavy died from a milder injury, something more like what Spy had now. Scout was getting the sinking fear that none of the respawn failure patients had ever survived their injuries. It had been a real long time, and BLU Medic was still working on Spy despite all this death. But what if he was the type to do it whether it was pointless or not?

He just got Spy back, they needed to undo whatever made him young again, they couldn’t lose him now! Not with him thinking Ma and children 7 and younger would die next!

On March 2nd, 1947 the Malum Sniper got backstabbed by an enemy Spy. He dragged himself out of the respawn chamber groaning in agony. His spine was too big, it had burst through his back and made a bigger gash than whatever the enemy Spy gave him. There was a kink in it, it almost looked like a kid’s drawing of a butterfly wing, but in the middle of his back. The Sniper couldn’t use his legs and that made them dead weight. But what was worse was the heart situation.

Malum Sniper’s heart had duplicated over and over, like a ****ed up chain of sausage links. Each heart made a single weak beat before moving on to the next one, and that made moving slower and more exhausting. Once again, BLU Medic couldn’t save him, not even after cutting the spine to the right size and deciding on one heart.

Spy understandably felt worse in his interview. How couldn’t he, Scout knew he felt bad for Malum Medic when he saw that after picture! But the camera crew just wanted their quota. “Mr Sniper loved pranks. He wanted to go to.. to ze neon lights place out West. Figured he could use his skills for a show there.”

“Okay, Vegas or Hollywood? Because believe it or not, America has more than one of everything. Sorry that’s not the case in France.” The interview guy sucked, he had a really con-D-sending voice that made him more than punchable. “It was Vegas.. The place with the gambling and feathered women, I think.” “You knew this guy for seven years, and you still can’t remember the words ‘Vegas’ and ‘Showgirl’? That’s depressing.” Spy bit back a sob, you could see it in his face and his chest.

The good news was that RED and BLU didn’t have to wish for the camera crew to get what they deserved. The Demowoman was a little Asian lady and the Engineer spoke something like French. They were both yelling in their native languages as the camera tumbled around. The next thing on screen was an announcement that the camera crew had been replaced.

————————-

Heavy truly hoped that Spy hadn’t learned proper English over these idiot insults. But he was grateful to the Korean Demoman and the Belgian Engineer for thrashing the evil men. He assumed that they either died to those Malum teammates or were killed by the Admin’s crew later. Either way, they were finally gone and that was a blessing. A brief moment of relief in the face of the unhappy video, that probably would not last.

—————————

On July 19, 1947, both the Pyro and the Engineer were shot by one Sniper headshot. She had lined it up so the partially masked pyro and the helmetless Engineer were standing one if front of the other.

They stumbled out of respawn with conjoined mincemeat where their heads should have been. Duplicate eyeballs rolled on the floor and dangled from wherever the eye sockets were meant to be.

RED Medic did not envy the BLU Medic who had to attempt to salvage what was unsalvageable. Even he with his demonic deal and strange practices could not envision fixing that kind of carnage. He didn’t think Malum Sniper or Soldier would have survived no matter who tried to help them.

The last 3 teammates had fallen silent for this set of interviews. It was bad enough losing one teammate forever, but losing 2? That, and they probably had a healthy distrust of Ms Administrator’s latest batch of henchmen running the cameras. Poor Spy, getting ridiculed by worthless clowns who would never have touched blood themselves.

—————————-

This was the point where Spy thought they were assassinations and not accidents. And Jeremy really couldn’t blame him for that. Each death was gruesome, and it just kept taking Malum teammates. Scout already knew the other two didn’t survive, he just felt it in his heart. He was worried that they’d somehow be even worse.

He couldn’t imagine their proud, insane Medic choking to death and dying locked in respawn. Or Sniper’s vest pulled apart by a duplicating spine. Or Engie and Pyro walking out like a monster from The Thing. But that’s what it was like.

Spy was the youngest on Malum, just like Jeremy was the youngest on Fortress. But he lost his team. Even with Grey Mann running around, nobody had stayed dead. Scout hadn’t permanently died on the gallows or from his stab wound. Demoman, Pauling, Spy, Soldier, and Zhanna hadn’t permanently died to robots. And Sniper hadn’t permanently died from getting gunned down.

But they could have. And looking at this, it could have been a hundred times worse if they suffered from respawn failures. No wonder Spy was all alone in that helicopter, there was nobody left to be moved with him. And he thought he’d been shot down mid-flight, crashing in the desert. It was all fresh. It was all too fresh.

On September 23, the Malum Scout dragged himself out of respawn without his legs, and his guts spilling out. He’d been chopped in half by a Pyro with an axe. The BLU Medic tried to stitch him back together, but it just wouldn’t work. Like the Heavy and Soldier.

On December 4, they dragged what was left of the Demowoman out of the chamber after she failed to come out. She was blown up by another Demoman’s bombs, and her body was just chunks held together by veins and nerves. She looked like a madman turned her into a flesh version of those little wooden toys with the segments.

Now Scout understood why Spy couldn’t cut those chickens. How could he possibly chop them up with the image of the Malum Demowoman and the Scout burned into his memory? Recently burned into his memory, only a month later if Jeremy was doing the math right.

”We’re going to relocate you to Frigidus in a day or two. They don’t have a Spy right now…. If you have any questions about that-“

“Will they bury me with Malum?” Spy blurted. “When I die, I mean. They are all buried together at ze secret grave site, right? But.. I won’t be written as part of ze team anymore.” He sounded like he was trying not to come off as distraught, even though he had to be.

The camera people told him he could request it, but it wouldn’t be up to them. Had to get clearance. Jeremy knew he had to think they were going to throw him away in a random unmarked grave. That the helicopter crash was meant to burn away enough of him to excuse it.

Spy needed to live to find out he wasn’t being hunted. He needed to know Pauling was not Helen 2. He needed to live. He had to live.

[littleguyconnor]

I don’t like him.

[cinnamons1999]

urn man and child who dresses in whatever's comfy, ahmet is in the cemetery house info dept and gets his daughter to be taken there after school as well cuz he cant leave her alone lmfao.

[tiodolma]

s1

s3

s4

he killed her from the same alcove where she used to hide and wait for him.

[kinos-fortress-2]

miss pauling WOULD NOT SMELL FINE.

[burned-lariat]

Okay since we're getting close to the end of "how to keep house while drowning," I should get started on my next project. Not sure which one though...

Check the tags for more info!

[aaamike]

Me after hours of studying before a test:

Me after the test:

[chaosmultiverse]

Thad vc: y'know I can't really hide that I dye my hair, one touch and it's clear it feels like straw most pf of the time

[sparkledfirecracker]

Jo, how do you do this every single time!

I needed this peptalk as I have my theatre debut tonight. One hour to go, countdown has started and I’m nervous as fuck.

Thank you for this lovely reminder! ♥️

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 2: Showtime

Narrated by Zoey.

Narrator: There is a spy in my Rosset.

Narrator: Corleone has investigated the spy. I vaguely know who is behind it.

Zoey: Corleone, tell me about the Neverfall Troupe.

Corleone: The Neverfall Troupe is from Cloudcrest, Cloud Empire. It’s a theater troupe in name.

Choose “What about it actually?”

You: Anything else?

Zoey: In fact, it’s an intelligence organization.

Corleone: Commander, you know about them?

Zoey: I do. I refuse to understand them. I hate scheming the most.

Corleone: Aye. Qin Yi, the troupe head of Neverfall Troupe, has been expanding his forces everywhere.

Corleone: You run a tight ship, so it’s difficult for his force to enter Rosset.

Zoey: But he still showed up.

Corleone: Yes...

Zoey: Since he wants to know us, we’ll let him know.

Corleone: Commander, you mean...

Zoey: We’re heading to Cloudcrest.

Narrator: I take an elite force to go to Cloudcrest.

Narrator: Now that Qin Yi is so eager to inquire about me, I’ll give him the chance to ask me directly.

Narrator: When we arrive in Cloudcrest, it was in the afternoon.

Narrator: The Neverfall Theater looks elegant.

Narrator: The audience waiting at the entrance looks at us in surprise, as if we shouldn’t be here.

Narrator: When Corleone is about to send someone to inquire, a boy approaches us.

Youth: Hello, Commander Zoey.

Zoey: How do you know who I am?

Youth: We’ve been waiting for you for a long time.

Narrator: After speaking, he gestures to come in.

Zoey: Haha, interesting. I’m eager to know what will happen.

Choose “This may be a trap.”

You: Be careful. This may be a trap.

Narrator: Oh? Don’t worry about me.

Narrator: He takes us to the best seats. It seems they are not surprised by our arrival.

Youth: Commander, this is the seat we reserved for you. Please sit down.

Narrator: The lights in the theater dim, and the ones on the stage brighten.

Narrator: As the curtain opens, the protagonist shows up.

Narrator: As General Yutian on the stage, Qin Yi talks about her failure.

Narrator: She was once captured by the enemy because she was betrayed by an arms dealer.

Narrator: The powerful man who captured her was the one she wanted to defeat most.

Narrator: Corleone glances at my face, but I’m calm as usual.

Choose “Shouldn’t you be calm?”

You: Shouldn’t you be calm?

Narrator: General Yutian was supposed to be me, and that powerful man was Mercury.

Narrator: Stupid.

Narrator: Does he think he knows me well?

Narrator: The first half of the play is over. When the audience applauds, I get up and go backstage.

Narrator: Facing a mirror, Qin Yi doesn’t look back.

Qin Yi: Hello, Commander Zoey. What are you doing here?

Zoey: Congratulating you on the successful performance.

Qin Yi: Thank you, Commander. Do you like it? That’s based on a story I heard. I admire the heroine. What do you think?

Zoey: You’re wrong. I don’t care about that failure at all. I can just win back what I’ve lost.

Qin Yi: What do you mean?

Zoey: I mean I won’t lose again.

Qin Yi: I believe in you.

Zoey: You inquire about me in secret. I don’t like it.

Qin Yi: I admire you. Commander Zoey, I want to be friends.

Narrator: He turns around and meets my eyes.

Zoey: This is not the way to make friends. Qin Yi, stay away from me and my Rosset.

Qin Yi: Commander, don’t you want to know how to win it back?

Zoey: Are you talking about Mercury?

Qin Yi: Are you interested?

Narrator: Qin Yi smiles at me.

Zoey: No need. I have my own way.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

[j-august]

Instead, they seem to have done what time-servers do in every autocracy that punishes honest failure: they did nothing at all, and hoped the problem would go away.

Ben Macintyre, The Spy and the Traitor