#exposing myself as absolutely clueless

[proxythe]

Hi! I love your art style! What art program do you use and what sort of brushes are your favorites? Would you ever consider posting a coloring tutorial bc i think one of my favorite aspects of your art is how you put colors together! I hope you have a good day !

haiii thank u!! i use procreate !!

i’m really bad at explaining things, especially my process since i’m not a professional artist or anything and i just draw on autopilot 😭 but under the cut i tried to put some stuff together that i hope will make sense to u !!

ill put stuff in the alt text in case my handwriting is hard to read ‘^_^

first of all, these are the main brushes i use:

i’m sorry but unfortunately i can’t remember where i got any of them, so hopefully if you google it u can find ones that are similar if not exact. & btw all brushes i use are free downloads so there shouldn’t be any problems if u find & want the same ones i use

i like to look for brushes for my lines that remind me of pencils & honestly i’m still looking for a perfect free lineart brush bc my current one is unsatisfactory for me sometimes in my vision for a drawing.

now for coloring i put some visual “guides” together but, like i said i’m rly shit at explaining my process so i really hope this makes sense for u:

this is normally how i color skin:

& this is how i color hair:

if ur confused about any of it i can truly try my best to explain but i am Truly genuinely sorry if this shit makes no sense 😭

LASTLY, this is the finishing touches i put on my drawings:

i’ll try to explain further here if this is too little info.

so to begin my final touches on my art, i flatten the entire drawing into one single layer, then i duplicate that layer.

on the duplicate layer i apply this:

and i look for a gradient map thing i think looks best with my coloring. occasionally (and for this drawing specifically) i look for a layer setting that looks good with the gradient map. most of the time for me they’re kinda wack but for this one i enjoyed it and applied it

after the gradient AND layer setting are applied, the drawing looks like this:

and finally:

after the coloring & filters is all done with, i flatten the entire drawing into one layer and apply noise to it. like barely any tho, 1 % or 2 % is good for me, and then the drawing is done.

i hope this helped 😭😭 like i said i’m not a professional artist. i don’t study colors or color theory. my initial lineart is my lineart for the whole drawing, i don’t do a rough sketch. i honestly don’t really know shit about drawing i just do it LOL that’s why i needed to show u visuals bc i don’t know the actual names for any of this stuff. i hope u understand & enjoy

[sugarpussyswirl]

₊˚ෆ 𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 ₊˚ ෆ ୨⎯ 🧸 ⎯୧ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 . . . 𝘮𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘢 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 ; 𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 ; 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 18 ; 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺.ᐟ𝘮𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪 𝘹 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵.ᐟ𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

it was another day of school, nothing different as usual. i was standing at my locker, looking around to make sure he wasn’t anywhere, before opening it and grabbing my books for my first class. homecoming was approaching, and i desperately wanted to go, but no one really hung out around me, let alone wanted to go on a date to a dance. i adjust the pink lacy bow that sat on the top of my ponytail, as i try to keep that positive attitude as always. the skirt i wore today was a bit shorter than what would be considered appropriate but i had no clue. i never really thought about what others would think. like i was trying to show off when i really i just liked the cute polkadot pattern on the baby pink skirt. i tear my gaze from my hair and my eyes travel to Megumi as he walks through the school doors. i swallow thickly and prepare myself for a day of ridicule. i take a shaky breath and suddenly his hard and unwavering gaze meets mine. i let out a squeak and turn back towards my locker. please don’t come up to me, please don’t. in my nervous antics, i drop one of my books. i huff and bend down to get it, absolutely oblivious of my skirt riding all the way up my plush thighs.

unbeknownst to me Megumi was completely seething at the sight of my exposed body. a few other eyes were on my backside as well, and it made megumi fill to the brim, practically overflowing with rage. part of it because of me, and the insane cluelessness of how i affected everyone around me. and mainly because the other boys in the hall were looking at me like a piece of meat, and they were getting ready to pounce.

he clenched his fists tightly, to the point of his fingernail’s creating marks in his palms. his breathing quickened, and suddenly part of his fury turned into a weird sensation. one he hadn’t felt before, one that made him the slightest bit nervous yet curious to dig deeper and explore it. one of desire. but he pushed it away in fear of feeling it for her. this beautiful but so overwhelming positive girl that left him dumbfounded. i was so sweet to the point it made him sick to his stomach. it made him stupidly angry how one person was so kind to others.

of course my pleading doesn’t work as i hear his hard steps come closer and closer. i squeeze my eyes shut and my breaths quicken, my fingers latched onto my locker. his feet pounded on the ground and he soon appeared next to me, i could tell he was mad, for what reason, i had no idea.

“are you that fucking clueless, or are you acting like this on purpose?” he tilts his head and i could just tell he was resisting the urge to bark a yell at my face. he usually did after all, so what was the difference today? why was he holding back? he looked down at me, anger but also a hint of something else. maybe affection, no that definitely couldn’t be it, he loathed me.

i watched him glance at my skirt, the curve of my ass making him think very lewd thoughts. and it made his heart speed up in a disgustingly fast way. he wanted to yell at me for making him think the most impure and perverted thoughts. of which he shouldn’t be having for a girl like me. a girl that wore cute frilly bows in her hair, and looked like she road to school in a princess carriage dragged by ponies. his eyes focus on my thighs that filled out so nicely underneath the skirt. then they trail back up meeting my own, making me wanna quaver under his gaze.

“don’t you ever dare wear this skirt again,” he huffed, in a eerily quiet of a voice. “or so help me God.” trying to risk not being shoved into my locker or even shouted out, i keep my pouty lips set in a straight line. he narrows his eyes at my lack of communication. “and don’t bend down in these hallways again.” his gritted teeth and angry expression making me shiver, but i keep my composure.

what where these sudden emotions running through me? why did my heart start to pound against my chest, like a gorilla pounded his enclosure at the zoo? this strange heat making me work up a sweat, just by the intense eye contact that he just couldn’t let up. the unwavering look he didn’t suppress. i felt the vehemence of warmth run up my lower limbs and to my core. it was like it had it a own heart beat, going as almost as strong as the one in my chest.

there’s an unmistakable amount of tension, and it only continues to rise between us. neither of us speaking, sounds of students reminding me that it isn’t just us in the hallway. i had to keep myself quiet and not try to express these strange feelings that bubbled up to the surface in such a short time. i slowly close the gap my thighs held, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way his intense look affected me.

i was also affecting him in ways he didn’t dare tell a soul. he felt as though i was teasing him, batting my pretty eyelashes up at him. the innocence that my big bulbs grasped. he hated how plump, pretty my lips were, how his mouth begged to feel them. to caress my beautiful body. he licked his lips at the sight of my thighs tightly clamped together.

i craved for his calloused touch, his fingertips creating tingles throughout my body. to trace each dip and curve, chiefly the one that made my ass look so delicious from each angle. i had never had these sickeningly pleasurable desires in my head, but i didn’t want them to stop. the thought of him releasing his anger on me in other ways made wanna bend down beside his command. to give him a real show, something the innocent part of me wouldn’t had even thought about. it’s like his presence made the innocence drain out of me, creating an alter ego that stayed laying in the back of my head. just the very idea made my mouth water and lace panties collecting my wet arousal. i couldn’t help but think of his hands collecting the sticky liquid instead. i slowly rub my inner thighs together in an attempt to relieve the almost painful pressure there.

megumi takes notice and stares daggers in my eyes. he clears his now horse throat and keeps his stoic look. “you going to homecoming?” i was a bit confused of the unexpected question. was he genuinely curious or was it another way for me to say something stupid for his jokes. i only shake my head to his sudden question and his dark eyes light up to the slightest amount. “good.” he mumbles under his breath, which raises an eyebrow of me. did he not want me to go with anyone else?

“cause no one would wanna go with a annoying girl anyway.” gee what a good insult. i could just tell he wanted to get under my skin, make me feel useless as he does everyday now. he slams my locker in my face. his usual smirk of satisfaction on his face from seeing my reactions. but there was more to it this time, like he immediately regretted his words after saying them. he gives me one last unbreakable glare before walking down the hall to his next class. i watch as his toned arms stay by is side, he walks with a sense of pride in them. it was all an act, but i never knew that. it felt like genuine hate towards me. a girl that couldn’t do anything terrible if she tried. yet it all came so natural to him.

it was like he was testing the innocence that i was specifically known for. never doing one bad thing besides forgetting my homework every now and again. it was like the way he affected me, did the same to him right back, and it was one loop that we couldn’t get out of. one of us had to break it. it wasn’t long before he snapped. God, my mom would be horrified if she knew what was roaming inside my mind.

megumi couldn’t help but take a short look back at my contemplation, wondering what i was thinking. hopefully it was him and not one of the other guys looking like they were gonna snatch you up before he had the chance himself. he needed to get me off his mind, millions of thoughts rushing through it. he needed to keep me suffering, relentlessly torturing me until he proved he hated me. for not only me to see but to convince himself. he loathed my bubbly personality, the cute squeals when i got excited, i looked absolutely radiant to him. it made him wanna puke, but i was still just too tempting.

[ryfkah]

profoundly nostalgic today for the identity shenanigans in mid-20thc romantic suspense thrillers. nobody was doing it like these guys. 'i faked my own death' how about I faked my own death and then pretended to be my own clueless coincidentally identical doppelganger. 'i'm under a false identity' i'm under THREE false identities and every time you expose one i solemnly reintroduce myself and assure you that this one is absolutely the real guy. 'i'm hiding in your attic' 'i'm pretending to be my twin' i'm hiding in your attic pretending to be me who's pretending to be my twin who's pretending to be -

[spacemanxpaninis]

Whose your favorite characters from the fandoms you listed? Hope you have a good day :)

I hope you had/have a great day too thank you so much 🥺 but

OH HO HO FRIEND THE FLOODGATES YOU HAVE OPENED.

My term for these individuals collectively is Blorbo High Council™ & every time I hyperfixate on a new character a seat is added. Absolutely feral for the chance to introduce them I’m so sorry

Presenting…Blorbo High Council™…or at least some members of it

• Abed Nadir- it kind of started right away because when I first started watching Community I had a huge crush on him lol not me exposing myself because I thought he was super cute & vibed with him. Every time I watched I was like That One™ *pointing Leo meme*. As time went on & things progressed in the show I felt even more of a connection to him, feeling like no character has made me feel as seen & validated as a person because wow, this person is living & describing experiences I’ve had & things I’ve felt like an outsider for & oh my gosh. Things that made me feel unfit & unseen & here they are being represented by a fictional character, someone others will see & love & that has always served as an escape for me. I’ve gone to fiction & lived in my own head since I was a kid so wow. I think that was part of why I fell so hard for him, it was like here’s someone I finally get & feel a connection to which is so hard for me to find irl. By extension Troy also gets a throne because those two are a package deal dangit 😤 plus I have a lot of feelings about Troy & how he’s such a good representation of going from your teens to your twenties, being more unabashedly yourself & learning that the world doesn’t revolve around you & you don’t have to perform & it’s just so 🥺

• Hobie Brown is just totally a type of character I like & I love his style as someone with something of an alt style too. The moment he entered the screen I thought ‘oh this one is going to be my favorite’ & guess what I WAS RIGHT. He’s just so sassy & funny & I love a character who spends a ton of their lines just doing a bit (because like many of us I’m convinced he was screwing with Miles during a bunch of his intro). Also seeing him with Mayday? My heart. Hobie’s the kind of character I have a whole playlist of songs I think he would like that I wish I could show him hehe

• Ever since first watching LoTR as a kid I loved Pippin! I tend to fall for funny characters & also I just related heavily to him, he’s clumsy, neurodivergent-coded, & my heart just breaks for how he gets treated sometimes. He’s a symbol for how war changes innocence & the maturity that develops from all the experiences the characters have. Since childhood I thought he was so cute & fell for his singing voice, I just love him so much! Plus his moment in the wedding scene is so funny it’s literally one of my favorites in the whole trilogy.

• From The Hobbit as much as I love Bilbo & the Line of Durin, Bofur was the one who managed to really snag & hold my heart! He’s such a sweetheart & one of the first dwarves to really show care for Bilbo. Such a kind jolly soul! Plus the hat. Literal boots with the fur. Iconic. Peak.

• Sergeant Carter is a longtime blorbo. I just loved his infectious whimsy & innocence & found him so adorable! Another neurodivergent-coded character that charmed me act shocked! But no I love a ‘dumb smart’ character who’s a genius in one area but clueless in others, I see it, I feel it, I love it. I must protect him at all costs!!! Except he can protect himself because he is the sweetest man but also loves arson & has the highest canonical kill count on the show by far. Duality of man 😌

• Radar, Klinger, & Father Mulcahy all hold special places in my heart! Especially in the later seasons as with all the characters, but my side character loving heart just adores all of them! Radar’s a cutie pie, Klinger’s costumes are amazing & he’s so funny, & the good father I just have a soft spot for 😌 William Christopher & I share a birthday too 😁

• Barley Lightfoot is a big part of why I love the movie Onward, like big huggable metalhead D&D nerd my beloved 😌 Second member of the playlist squad FOR SURE. I just know he listens to Nekrogoblikon. Another character I can both relate to & am incredibly endeared to. Poor guy being seen as the family screw-up, I feel like that’s me a bit being the ‘wasted potential’ sibling 😔 I just want to give him a hug so bad.

• Gladstone Gander is a character I’ve just randomly loved since I was maybe 13-15. I just found out about him & loved him for no explicable reason 😆 I have a pin of him & it’s one of my prized possessions lmaos. I was happy to see him included in the new Ducktales & even had an OC I shipped with him…but unfortunately I think I saw a spoiler with a canon character that may render that comfort character sort of moot 😔 y’all are like thank God now she won’t post about it 😂 maybe I’ll still keep her in my heart.

• Huey, Dewey, & Louie got seats in the council of course ☺️ I joke how it was my first experience having child blorbos & wanting to live vicariously through my OC (who is family to them) & spoil them instead of my usual doodling hearts around them like with most blorbos 😆 the triplets are so cute & I love how they all have their interests. Of course I have a soft spot for Huey because he’s adorable & my friend recommended I watch Ducktales just because I love his voice actor… ya girl also just loves nerds 🥰

• I love the whole Moon Knight system of course but I’m a Steven Grant Girlie at heart!!! Once again, cute nerds…

• From BG3 well none of them have *fully* seated at the high council but my favorites thus far would have to be Karlach, Gale, & Halsin feat. Astarion because why not??? I want someone with a personality like Gale or Karlach in real life tbh

• My favorite Brooklyn Nine Nine character kinda changes??? & same as BG3, maybe not full high council membership but characters I’ve loved for almost 5 years now so very special! I like Charles but overall Jake & Amy have my heart. I love their relationship & they’re both so funny! It’s a bit of a joke with friends too that my personality is a mix of both of them & I look like I could be their child 😂 having Peraltiago as parents sounds like so much fun hehe

[whythehailnot]

Noooo i am 350ish pounds and i just worry that the people i can pick up on hitting on me (I'm autistic and generally assume people aren't, but when i notice) see me as a easy target. But I'm a butch lesbian so it's usually very clueless men who i guess think that since I'm fat and round and soft I'm feminine enough?? Idk. Anyways, you're sooo so valid. I just feel like with all the ways that society dehumanizes fat people and prioritizes the safety and comfort of thin people, there must be men out there who think that women will jump at the attention because they're not used to it.... It's such a sick way of thinking on their part, but idk. I've had horrible things said to me like i had a cis guy ""therapist"" tell me that i "made myself fat and ugly so men wouldn't pay attention to me" so i don't think it's crazy to feel like some men feel like conventionally "unattractive" women are easy lays that are just as easy to discard

Omg NOOOOOOO not the dumb, clueless men hitting on a butch lesbian bullshit???? 😩😩😩😩 God I hate that, I'm so sorry you've dealt with that AND such a shitty fucking therapist as well?!?! That's SO WILD AND FUCKED UP that he said that to you?? I literally want to clothesline this fucking loser??? Holy shit, I'm so sorry anon, this is all bullshit and you should be entitled to compensation because good lord???!!! 😩😩😩😩 I hope you've been able to find a better therapist after that loser 🙏🙏💖💖💖💖💖

Thank you so much for reaching out with your solidarity and sharing your experience - I'm so mad that this is An Thing that fat people have to deal with. I was having a bit of a lay-and-cry earlier, and I was thinking to myself that truly it's not my body that I'm unhappy with, it's the fact that it's treated so badly/weirdly by other people and society/culture as a whole!

It's the dehuminization that just absolutely reeks and it's so hard to sometimes talk to people about it, because it's just not a factor they've been exposed to. Most people - especially women or femme people - understand the experience of being objectified, which absolutely sucks. It BLOWS and everyone gets that - we all hate it here together 👏✨ but I feel like when you're fat on top of it, the vigilance/awareness we have against people either fetishizing our bodies or completely desexualizing them feels so constant and it can be exhausting! And if you're not white on top of it, and/or less gender-conforming, than that's a whole other ball of wax of potential bullshit to deal with!! UGH! Big BOOOO on that!! 😩😤

There ARE people who are absolutely normal and not weirdos about fat people out there, who just see people as people, and are just attracted to whoever (what a concept!) but boy oh boy do dating apps bring out a type sometimes... = w =;;;; And unfortunately it just stirs up so much.

I'm rambling on your ask, anon, I'm so sorry! 🙏 But thank you so much again for reaching out and sharing your experience 🙏💖💖💖💖 I am SO sorry you've dealt with this as well and I hope you're being surrounded by less fucking weirdos as time continues! 🙏💖💖💖 Keep being hot, fat and butch, anon! I appreciate you and your solidarity so much!! 🙏💕💕💖💖💖💕💕💕💖💖💖

[creatingnikki]

A date with the truth

Hi. I did not want to come. I mean I want to come if you know what I mean ;)  Sorry, lately my humour has been quite juvenile and I don’t have a handle on it. I do not know if it’s because I am finally letting myself not be so serious all the time or because I am horny all the time. I think, it might just be a 70:30.  But, yes, I did not want to show up, I was going to stand you up. Yet again. But you don’t waver, do you? Even though I blew you off at least 360 out of 365 days last year. You stand your ground and you do not care for validation or visitors or me. 

I am trying  — but saying this is not enough anymore. I know. So, what else do I do? I am spending $$ on therapy and signing up for what is going to be a long and difficult process of working on understanding myself and my behaviour and my thought patterns. I thought writing would have helped with that  — with self awareness but it seems like the only thing writing has helped with is solidifying my delusional narratives and making me seem attractive to people but mostly men. 

Okay, fine. I’ll stop being a shit and blaming writing. Writing has been good for me. Writing has been the only thing that lets me be. Not going to romanticize it further. But I know this too. Without writing, I am a volcano that dies of unreleased pressure. Is that a thing? Can volcanoes have an internal, unreleased explosion and just die? I should have paid more attention in Geography classes in middle school  — maybe I would have known what to tell my friend when an earthquake tremor is felt instead of being so absolutely useless. Why am I so useless when it comes to functional, real life, logistical things?

Ugh, okay. No, that’s not true, either. I am the one who is essentially my family’s accountant and assistant and tech person  — taking care of all banking work, booking flights, and fixing phone issues. So, I am good at logistics, actually. In the areas I have been exposed to. But if you ask me for directions or to change a tire or to tell you how the name of the tree in the lane in my home I will be clueless. Is that okay?

The truth. The truth. The truth.  How do I give it to you? How do I give it to myself? 

The truth is...I don’t know. can we do a second date? give me some time? there are so many things on my mind. I’ll pay for the coffee both times. Will you see me again? In a civil way? I do not want you to slap me in the most tragic of ways at the most unexpected of times. can you be a little patient with me? Just a little more? Yes? Thank you! 

[kanmom51]

i don't get the significance of changing "and i still want you" to "but i still want you". i did read all your posts about it and everything else is now obvious to me. not the and x but change tho. could you help a clueless anon? lol thank you!

TTU last Seoul concerts 2019 was huge for me anon, you are so right.

I absolutely adore that song.  It’s sad and meaningful and their performances, even more so the live performances are so emotional and raw.  If I’m already at it, I would like to recommend you watch a specific performance of this song.  Other than the last performances in Seoul 2019, this one is my favourite.  Again, the raw emotions you get from them all, and V’s part, just wow.

They end the song JM’s back to JK.

Obviously I’m not the staging director and I don’t know for sure why this staging was chosen, I can only guess.  But what I see is that JM is singing alone “and I still want you”, he’s the ‘monster’ for this part, he wants but he can’t have, and he’s resigned to the fact that he can’t have it, hence the facing away.  Could be total bull, and obviously it’s up for interpretation, not to mention the fact that my forte is facts not literature and interpretations of poems and art, but there you have it - what I see in that specific staging and performance of that song.  Take it or leave it, lol.

That was the staging and performance throughout the whole tour, even when the stage itself and the costumes changed.  JM singing “and I still want you”, the last line, by himself, back turned to JK.

But for the last 3 Seoul concerts in October 2019 they decided to change it up, and the only part changed was that last line.  The lyrics, how it was sung and how it was staged.  And the changes, they involved only those two - JM and JK.

At the end, just before the last line that is changed from “and I still want you” to “but I still want you”  JM still has his back to JK.  And then, while singing, together, “but I still want you”, he turns and they both not only facing each other but looking at each other as they finish the song.

Changing it to "but I still want you" turning to each other, looking into each other's eyes is loud and huge and I think that if you read the song lyrics, if you see the meaning behind the song you will understand why "but I still want you" is so meaningful.

“…You know that I can’t Show you me Give you me I can’t show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put a mask on and go to see you But I still want you…

I wanted to give it to you After I take off this foolish mask…

But I know I can’t do that forever I have to hide Because I’m a monster…

I am afraid I am shattered I’m so afraid That you will leave me again in the end Once again I put on a mask and go to see you…

The only thing I can do In the garden In this world Is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you And to breathe as the me that you know But I still want you I still want you…

If I had the courage to stand before you Would everything be different now…

And I still want you But I still want you But I still want you And I still want you”

There is so much about this song that makes me sad, especially thinking of the impact it has on anyone that feels they need to hide their true selves from others, from society, from their fandom. It's JM, JK or any other member of the LGBTQ+ community that feels they would be perceived as a monster if they show their true self.

The song is about wanting someone but the fear of exposing yourself to them, maybe they won't accept you.

Ending the song with “and I still want you” is, in a way, accepting things as they are...things are the way they are, and yet, I still want you.  Hence JM with his back turned to JK, resigned to things as they are - I want you, I have to hide my true self...

But then ending the song with “but I still want you” it has a boldness to it.  Not accepting things as they are, wanting them to change, in a way fighting for them to change.

It’s an ending to the song with a sense of defiance.  Like a child being told by a parent they aren’t allowed something, and try to argue “but I want to…”, not accepting the no, not accepting society telling them they are ‘wrong’.

That’s my take from it.

And them turning to each other, looking at each other when BOTH of them are singing that line - looking at each other and singing “but I still want YOU”, well to me that was a big WOW moment.

We need to remember, ALL the time, these are two young men in a supposed closeted queer relationship, living and working in a mostly homophobic society.  But not only their society is homophobic.  A big part of their fandom is too, and they are well aware of it.  They are aware of the fact that there will be army that would not accept them for their true selves, not love them if they took off that mask they are wearing and showed themselves for who they truly are.  And they want to.  They want to take off that mask.  They want to be true to themselves, be able to act naturally, not to hide not only who they are but also who they love.  But they also want, need, Army’s love, and there is a great fear of losing that love if they do take off that mask they are wearing. And that’s a daily struggle for both of them.

So, they kind of live in a push and pull reality.  Pushing the boundaries time and time again, sending these hints/messages to us, sometimes small, sometimes huge (hickey-gate for instance), for us to decifer.  They want us to know, they want to be true to themselves, they want to be able to shout to the world they’re in love and who with.  They can’t say it out loud, so this is their way of doing it.  If you understand, then you understand.  If you don’t or choose to ignore, so be it.  it’s also a way of testing the water, trying to see if they are supported, if the fandom would accept them for who they are.  And sadly, although there is a hell of a lot of support out there, there is a very big part of the fandom that still doesn’t and won’t accept them for who they are, who they love.  They know they are loved and supported by many, but they also know there are many that would not accept them, not for who they truly are and not for who they love.

And on that sad note I send, once again, my love and support to JK and JM.  We need to constantly show them, let them know, that they ARE seen and loved and supported, as individuals and as a couple.

[secretsofthemourning]

Spy X Family Theories and Predictions

Excessively Extra Over-Indulgent Long Post Warning: I absolutely refuse to call any of this a head cannon, but this is my personal analysis of some situations so far in Spy X Family and my prediction for the future of the story. I’ve watched all the anime and I am currently on volume 1 of the manga, but up to volume 9 has been released. I am aware of most of the characters and spoilers up to this point, so spoilers really don’t keep my from being invested in the manga or show. If any of my theory has already been mentioned, I would love to know, I would give me much personal satisfaction. Also, if any fan fiction writers want to tackle this one, go ahead, but as a fic writer myself, I may also write this one some day, so I’ll use my post as reference to prove I can up with it first. 

1) Yor isn’t just confused and clueless because she’s had a lack of social experience throughout her lifetime. She does lack a lot of social experience and context due to having to take care of Yuri as most of her upbringing being focused on learning how to be an assassin and a mother figure to her younger brother, but Yor is legitimately neurodivergent. I think this is great and I also think it shouldn’t have to be stated outright that Yor is possibly autistic and not as skilled at masking as most other neurodivergent women would be. There also needs to be more representation of neurodivergent characters like Yor in normal situations (or not so normal in reference to her Thorn Princess persona) because she is a very engaging and beloved character. 

2) Ostania and Westalis are definitely European countries in the 1960-1970s based on Cold War Europe and East and West Germany, this has been long established, but much of what you read in newspapers and textbooks, and in the background is in English. This is an alternate reality/history, so it can also be assumed that since ethnicities are never discussed, Westalian and Ostanian might only be nationalities. Principle are meant to stand out so of course their designs are more unique and pronounced than background characters, but Yor is the only one who bows and also bows used a manor to thank people for their hospitality, kindness, or taking good care of to his “co-workers.” Yor and Yuri are also the only characters with their same color schemes to include eye color (just as Anya is the only character of her variety to have her color scheme and her telepathic powers.) I believe that it is suppose to be hinted that Yor and Yuri are of Asian-European heritage, which is probably uncommon, but not entirely unusual in Ostania, so where as Yuri is treated more personably because he is man, Yor’s co-workers, Camilla, Sharon, and Millie, are such bitches to her not just because Yor is socially awkward, “former sex worker,” who is an “unmarried” woman at 27, but because and there is also underlying current of prejudice due to Yor’s heritage that no one wants to address as another reason for bullying. No matter how “progressive” Ostania may want to be seen as socially. (Also Yor’s beautiful and thicc and Camilla wishes she could, but that’s for a different post.)

3) Yuri “Sis Con” Briar has stated that he wants to protect his country, but will do anything to protect his sister. Anything. All the while hunting wanting to hunt down Twilight and W.I.S.E. because they are the State Security Service and Ostania’s true enemy. When Twilight is disguised as Foreign Minister Brantz and Yuri shows up as his escort, this is Twilight’s first encounter with Yuri while Twilight is in disguise. As Yor has now made friends with Melinda Desmond, Twilight is going to find himself more and more embroiled in Ostanian politics as he goes further and further into Operation Strix. Twilight will continue to find himself in situation in which he comes closer and closer to Yuri while in and out of disguise and he will eventually find himself in a situation where he can either kill Yuri and end any problems he might have to being exposed as Twilight, or he can allow reveal himself to Yuri and use his relationship with Yor to his advantage. Twilight, realizing that if he kills Yuri he could lose a valuable source of inside information, choses to exploit his circumstances and reveal his identity to Twilight to Yuri, threatening to kill Yuri if he doesn’t comply and convincing Yuri that Yor is safer with him as her husband than as a regular Ostanian citizen. Yuri, realizing that Yor being married to Twilight means she would be sparred of any turmoil or exploitation in a war, agrees to keep Loid’s true identity a secret in exchange for Yor’s protection and Secret Police intel. (Twilight would never admit his non-existent feelings for Yor stopped him from killing her brother, because it would damage any potential future between him and Yor, no never.)

4) A few years pass, and the Forgers are successfully beginning to infiltrate the Desmond’s inner circle. Slowly Twilight notices that Yor is spending more time with Melinda Desmond, which he encouraged at first (for the mission!), then he begins to notice a larger distance growing between him and his fake relationship. This does not sit well with him. Twilight begins to take matters into his own hands by doing recon only to eventually discover Thorn Princess. Twilight decides Yor’s identity must remain known only to him, so he can use it as a trump card (for the mission!) if he ever needs something to blackmail her with. Better yet, an assassin is an important asset to have on your side. Twilight has to secure Thorn Princess as an undisputed ally. Loid is going to have to seduce Yor and begin a long overdue sexual relationship with his wife. (For the mission? Yes, for the mission!)

5) Several more years pass as Yuri continues to rank up within the SSS, but he can only fly under the radar of Secret Police for so long before he hears rumors that he is going to be brought in under suspicion of being a traitor. Yuri abandons everything and Twilight takes him to a safehouse. Yuri defects to Westalis and is taken in by W.I.S.E. as an informant after excruciating and strenuous mental and physical testing, evaluation, and psychological examination. Twilight vouches for him, Handler is pissed, Yuri gets placed under Nightfall for training. Nightfall is livid, but agrees. A now 12 year old Anya experiences all of this going on in the background as Twilight is thinking through his plans and solutions. Anya tells Twilight he can’t play off Yuri’s desertion from Ostania as a disappearance and hide it from Yor. That he needs to tell Yor the truth. For the first time, the Forger family has to reveal their true selves to each other and Twilight and Yor have to come to terms with the fact that Anya has known everything all along. 

6) As Operation Strix closes in Donovan Desmond is put under public scrutiny and suspicion. Could the head of the National Unity Party be responsible for the engineered murders of other Ostanian political leaders? Leaked documents about political assassinations. Leaked documents about conferences with intentions to begin a war with the Westalis? Damian Desmond, now in his early teens, is going to have to come to terms with who is parents really are and if their actions are forgivable. 

7) After Operation Strix ceases, “Loid Forger” “abandons” his second wife and teenage daughter. Twilight guarantees his age forces his retirement from undercover fieldwork in a few years time. Anya graduates from Eden, turns 18, and is recruited by Garden to be trained and work alongside Yor as an assassin. Anya struggles with her relationship with Damian that has slowly grown less antagonistic over the years, but still has guilt over being responsible for the capture and political trial of his parents. Yor tells her that it is for the greater good and only Anya can make her own decisions about what to do. Can she live forever without being able to tell him, but still be in a relationship with him. Bond, growing old, but still very much lively has a brief flash of Becky being recruited into Garden as well, leaving it up to Anya to figure out what this means for her future and her friendship with her bestie who she never imaged in this sort of lifestyle. 

8) Twilight returns to his wife and daughter now working as an informant for wise, based out of Ostania. The Forgers finally get the happy ending they deserve. 

9) The story goes on with Anya, Becky, and Damian’s complicated ass lives. (I’m not saying I ship them, but why do I have this odd feeling that we’re going to get a Yuri/Nightfall romance sometime by the end of Spy X Family. I feel like they would just be thrown together no context, and not in story that I am envisioning in my theories.)

[commonpeople-fic]

ok, so...I know you promised that you're still working on this story that despite myself I am still obsessed with... and I know we won't get a new chapter until it's complete and perfect, but.... how about a tiny preview, like just a few paragraphes, to keep the dream alive?? :D If you don't want to, I understand and no pressure. I will wait until you feel it's ready! xxx

Dear anon!

You are wonderful, thank you so much for still carrying a torch for this story :) It's been a while since I could devote any brain power to writing, or the time for writing as a hobby, when I needed to write for pay (and you guys know I hate writing, so that was too much writing...).

HOWEVER, from time to time me and @madfatty my lovely beta and friend, had been sporadically working on it. We were making real progress... and then I decided to re-work an entire plot point, so now there's even more writing to do 😐

I guess what I'm saying is - as always - it's coming, only very slowly. And yes, dearest anon, as per your request, here's a small part of the next chapter. Note that it's not fully beta-ed! so all mistakes are mine alone. Oh, and you don't get much of anything really interesting (I know what your guys are really interested in wink wink). But hey.

I hope this helps to restore your faith in me... and thank you for asking! 💖💖💖 Shiri AKA Witchstuff

Excerpt from Common People, chapter 9

... Forty minutes later, Rae is feeling a whole lot better. She’s still got tremors in her hands, she can still feel the choking tears in her aching throat, but when you go through a magical door into an alternate universe made of light and noise and people and excited expectation, other shit tends to fade into the background. 

Rae’s never felt anything like it before. Every fantasy she’s ever had about attending a big concert to watch proper musicians that she loves, has paled in comparison with the feeling of actually standing in the venue, in the middle of the enormous lobby crowded with people who are just as excited as she is. She’s trying to take it all in, her eyes are gobbling it all up, to remember every moment, every sound.

On the one hand, she’s never been anywhere that’s more her in all her life. The noise, the excitement, the fans practically climbing out of their skin from sheer anticipation; that is exactly how she should spend her life. Band T-shirts and the occasional snippet of excited music-related conversation made her feel she’s finally in her element; these are  her people.

On the other hand,it’s all absolutely terrifying. Rae feels uniquely exposed, as if they all can see how clueless she is. As if they all know each other, but she’s a stranger at the party and they can all tell that it’s her first time and that she’s a total poseur who just doesn’t belong.

She’d spent twenty minutes with her back to a wall, as befitting a wallflower who suddenly found herself at the cool kids’ party unprepared. She wants to go exploring, check out the merchandise booth, piled high with Stone Roses garments calling her name. She wants to make eye contact with some of the fans and maybe get into a conversation about her favorite topic. But she just has to hold the wall up, can’t just step away from it, she’s holding her personal sky from falling.

Clasping her hands in a futile attempt to get rid of the tremors, she takes a big breath and shuts her eyes, frantically trying to remind herself this is the best night of her life. They don’t know you, she repeats inwardly, they don’t know you’re not like them. She’s still trying to convince her feet to move, her body to fake confidence and walk to the merch booth, when her ears catch a bit of the conversation taking place not too far from her. “- shouldn’t have worn these dumb clothes. I should’ve put on my own shirt, like that cool girl. Look at her, she’s fucking boss”. “You look hot, though!”, says another girl, sounding apologetic. Her friend’s not having it. Her voice rises in frustration. “I look dumb and I’ve got high heels on, for fuck sake. Is the cool girl wearing high heels? No. She’s got converse on and she looks fucking perfect…” The drive-by convo moves past Rae and now she sees the pretty, leggy blond girl in a hot-pink mini dress throwing adoring looks back her way. Rae almost turns to look for the “cool girl” in question when she realizes in shock, they’re looking right at her. At Rae.

For a few seconds more, she continues to stare blindly at the spot where both girls (proper girls, girly girls, Chloe-type girls, what her mum wants her to be type-girls), had disappeared into the crowd. 

They were literally talking about her.

Rae smiles and goes exploring. 

+++

She stands in front of the merch booth and she’s close to tears again, this time in frustration at how unfair life is. Every fucking thing on that table is so bloody expensive, Rae would need to go home, get a job, work for a month and come back, and even then she could probably only afford like a key chain or something. She checks out every product anyway, trying to console herself that the designs aren’t that great, that there isn’t that much variety, that she prefers underground stuff made by fans, not corporations… she can almost believe it. 

A bored looking sales girl asks if she can help her. Rae pretends that she’s interested in purchasing a T-shirt. And then, it happens. Of all the things that could go wrong, and really, the way this night is going, it could be anything, the one thing she never expected, was that she’d be standing by the merch table, with an impatient sales girl suggesting loudly that she get a Men’s XXL, because “They don’t make women’s shirts in your size”, and that would be the moment she runs into Finn fucking-everywhere Nelson.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

All my kitty!lino AUs

Warnings: prostitution, slavery. 

AU 1:

minho is a prized breeding kitty that you're hired to guard as he is a very rare and pure breed and having him breed other pure kitties makes for very profitable offspring

as a result of being treated like royalty all his life, he's super rude to you, a common guard dog

he's always snarky with you and he never listens and you have enough of it one day

you push him down to the floor, your teeth grazing against his delicate neck, showing him that you were not someone to be trampled on

"that's right. you have nothing to say now, brat." you growl, sitting up to look at the frightened kitty

but as you sit back, your ass comes into contact with his boner

arching an eyebrow, you smirk and roll your hips over his clothed dick "now what do we have here?"

minho stays silent, frowning but not making any attempt to push you off

"don't tell me you like this." you tease him, grinding against him harder and pulling breathy little moans from his pouty lips "kitty likes it when I'm mean to him?"

"Yeah you like that pretty kitty? Are you gonna make a mess in your pants for me? Good boy."

you make him cum like that without even touching his dick

minho is shameless after that brazenly getting on your nerves so you'd punish him

he gets so needy that now you're getting him off on the daily, letting him hump your thighs to get off while you degrade him

his insatiable need would be bad enough but now he's outright refusing to breed the cat hybrids anymore

no matter how many times you try to convince the stubborn idiot that he's going to draw attention and ruin you both, he still refuses

until finally you make a deal with him that you'll have sex with him if he continues breeding the cats

he's not fully convinced. why would he waste his seed on other women when you were right there?

"because I'm not your kind, you stupid cat."

but minho doesn't care. all he cares about is getting to breed you

"Fuck you're burning up. Are you going into heat over this? Dumb little kitten thinks he can put babies in my belly."

your words only make him fuck you harder as if he could do it if he tried hard enough

AU 2:

he's the prince's very picky kitty, rarely is a cat good enough for him. he rarely mates at all and the prince doesn't understand it one bit

one day they're walking around shopping in the bazaar when lino catches a whiff of your scent. he follows it to a shady part of the market that he never saw before

that's when he sees you standing there with a heavy chair around your neck and a cheap transparent dress over your body

out of nowhere a short disgusting man appear and he asks him if he wants to see your tits. it's only for a couple of coins

minho shouldn’t say yes. He has a whole harem of much better bred pussies for him to pick and choose from. He didn’t need to pay a disgusting man to see the body of some nameless mongrel

yet here he was hanging the slimey man the coins

the man all but rips your bodice open, eager to please the rich hybrid.

Minho feels an uncomfortable tightness in his pants. His mouth waters at the sight of your full breasts on display for him and he finds himself moving forward to touch, but the man steps in.

“The silver was to see not to touch. Three if you want to touch.”

Minho grunts and gives him what he wants. you don't seem impressed by him.

He cradles your breasts in his hands and leans down to pluck a pert nipple into his mouth, ear perked to the sound of your restrained gasp.

but then he hears the prince calling for him and he rips himself away from you and wipes his mouth harshly, panting as if he was under a spell.

Gulping, he spares your half naked form one last glance before he’s retreating towards his owner. As he slips back into the main room he hears the vendor call after him smugly, “We’ll be waiting for you, my lord.”

He does come back, this time more worked up than last time as he couldn't go to sleep thinking about you and he was reduced to getting himself off multiple time throughout the night just to cool down

his owner catches him this time though. "So this is why you were so eager to come back even though you hate the market. I gotta say I'm surprised by your taste." The prince grins. "Did you mount her yet?"

Minho blanches, feeling humiliated at being caught "of course not. I would never defile myself with such a mongrel."

The prince arches an eyebrow. "It's okay minho. Sometimes you need to slum it down a little. I get that urge too. Cheap prostitutes like her have their draw."

The prince grabs you and pushes her over a table, pulling your skirt up. "Come on kitty. Take her. I know you're dying to."

minho's hesitation evaporate when he sees your pussy exposed and waiting for him. he quickly comes up beind you, pushing his length into you even though you weren't wet. it's uncomfortable but it's not the first time a man shoves his dick into your pussy without bothering to get you wet

it's over soon anyway, the spoiled cat getting overwhelmed by your tight walls and ends up cumming embarrassingly fast. He stumbles away, watching his cum drip from your fucked out hole.

"We'll take her."

Minho looks at him shocked. "I finally have something for my precious pet to fuck. You're so picky."

AU 3:

You were standing outside the gymnasium for a quick smoke when a voice slurs behind you. "Where is your little boyfriend?"

You roll your eyes, already fed up with the boy that is talking to you.

"What, he couldn't stand the thought of fucking you tonight so he ran away?"

You narrow your eyes at him. How did he know you were planning to give your virginity to your Hyunjin tonight? If he had shown up that is.

You don't even know what minho's deal is. He wasn't always like this. You remember a time long, long ago when the two of you were friends. He was so nice and sweet to you when you first met as kids. But then suddenly out of nowhere he turned on you for absolutely no reason.

"Tell me, mutt. What was he gonna give you so he could get between your legs? A pack of cigarettes?" Oh yeah, that’s why. He looks down on you for not being a purebred like him.

You huff the smoke in his face in agitation, still ignoring him.

"Aw, don't be sad. If he won't do it, I can rise to the occasion. Just tell me how much." He goads you. You throw the cigarette to the ground, violently snuffing it out with your heels when an idea pops into your head.

Looking up at him, you reply simply. "50k."

"W-what?"

"You're so fucking obsessed with my sex life so you must really want me. So yeah I'll give it to you for 50k."

"You're a crazy bitch."

you were just messing with him. and he worked. he left you alone

what you never expected was for him to show up the next day at your door, shoving a heavy suitcase into your arms

"what's this?"

"50k." He mumbles.

“Is this a joke?”

“You said you’d give it to me for 50k.” He explains flatly, looking everywhere except at you.

you walk towards him. "You really are a sick pervert, aren't you? Buying my virginity?"

He stays silent, looking at the ground so you grab his jaw and force him to look at you.

"You're not in control. I am. Got it?" You sneer, and he stares for a second, processing that you’re actually agreeing to go through with this, then he nods enthusiastically.

AU 4:

you're a dog hybrid and he's a cat hybrid. He's been kissing you secretly since long ago

You know it's wrong but you like it so you keep it a secret. and you always get so jealous when his heat comes and he goes away to fuck someone else.

When he comes back he's apologetic and spends days trying to make you forgive him. He shouldn't have to. He's not yours.

You touch yourself while you're sleeping next to him a lot. He pretends he doesn't know but it drives him insane

He's waits till you have your first heat. You're supposed to be given to chan but he convinces you not to let your owner know telling you he'll take care of you

You know this is forbidden but you let him fuck you because you're in love with him.

"Oppa this is too much."

"Shh baby take it. You've teased me long enough."

He cums in you but doesn't pull out so he can fuck you more. He's been training himself for this in order to satisfy you.

You get overwhelmed and he laughs at how cute you are. ask him to kiss you so he does

"What a cutie. All mine."

"Open your mouth." He lets a trail of spit fall from his mouth and you obediently open up and take it like you've been taught. He groans and kisses you softly. You whine in his mouth as he fucks you again.

"Not gonna go to that mutt right baby? Only I get to do this to you."

AU 5:

he's the queens pet and you're the leader of a mercenary group the queen has hired to fight a battle for her

he immediately takes an interest in you and follows you around thinking that he's slick

In the beginning, his infatuation was merely amusing to you as you took to teasing him whenever you got the chance--cornering him when the princess wasn't looking and whispering filthy things in his ear. It was both easy and fun to work up the needy kitten.

What you hadn’t expected was for him to walk in on you while you were fucking one of your own hybrids, Chan. The big wolf tended to get rowdy so you were often rough with him to keep him under control, and well that's how the masochistic hybrid liked it too.

You expected him to be terrified of you after that, he certainly looked the part, but he surprised you by coming to you teary eyes and whimpering pleas so moving that you couldn’t resist giving him whatever he asked for, which was badly worded and clueless seeing as he had never been in any kind of physical relationship before.

He’s never done something like this before. His owner, the queen, kept him on a tight leash, untouched and forever pure. He had been taking suppressants ever since his very first heat and, before he met you, he had barely remembered what it was like to feel that painfully delicious pang of pleasure in his belly.

He holds onto you as you pleasure him, one hand fisted in your clothes and the other wrapped around your wrist as if he was afraid you were going to hurt him. If you were to look at his expression, you would think that you were hurting him, a small frown on his face as he whines and whimpers.

You stroke his cheek softly with the back of your fingers, finding it hot to the touch. “What is it, kitten?”

“It hurts.” He sobs.

“I know, baby. I’ll make it go away.” You almost feel guilty for purposefully prolonging his pain, the stimulation you give his cock designed to make him reach the edge at the slowest possible pace, but the truth is you weren’t sorry at all.

“You know, kitten, you should come with me when I leave. I’ll hide you until we’re out of the castle walls. Your princess won’t even realize you’re missing until it’s too late, and when you’re with me, every moment will be filled with pleasure. I’ll take care of you like she never did. I’ll show you a whole world of pleasure. How does that sound, kitty?” You seduce as your thumb flits over his weeping slit, distracting him and seducing him. “Hmm, you wanna come with me?”

“I--I’m not--I don’t know.” He answers nervously, his brain too hazy especially as you finally speed up your strokes, jumbling up all his thought process.

“Don’t think too much, kitten. Don’t you want to feel good?” You purr, tightening your fist around his cock to give him more pleasure.

“Yes, but--”

“No buts, darling. Don’t you wanna be a good kitten for Master?” You ask, referring to yourself and he gasps, his cock jumps in your hand. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You’re a dirty little kitten, aren’t you?”

“No!” He cries, shaking his head from side to side, but there is no denying the way his stomach tightens and his hips buck off the bed as his orgasm approaches and his primal senses take over. “I can’t take it! Please, help me. I can’t--”

His seed splatters across his abdomen as he cums, and you talk him through it. “That’s it, baby. Let go for me. Let it all out. Good kitten.”

you ruin him so thoroughly that he gives into her and lets her fuck him in front of the queen herself

"Lino stop that! You sound like a common whore."

"I can't help it. Mistress… is making me burn up." "Ah fuck." He keens

"Your precious kitten is getting fucked regularly, that’s why he sounds like that. He’s nothing but a loose slut right now. I fucking ruined him. Isn’t that right, kitten?"

"Hah... touch my cock." He drools on the sheets under him and you laugh, grabbing his cock from underneath and starting to milk him. “See? Just a dumb slut.”

___________

A/N: one of these will most likely get a proper fic but I couldn’t keep these to myself

[ibuki-loves-you]

Drv3 boys(or any of your choice) with a s/o that's mikan reincarnated(not literally just personality and action wise very similar)

DRV3 Boys with a S/O that is like Mikan

Warnings: Mikan's personality/actions

Mod Ibuki: This was so fun to write! Sorry if it's a little repetitive

Shuichi:

Oh boy-

Shuichi and you are both shy

But you moreso than him, so he gets really protective

He wants no one making fun of you or using you

One time you thought he was mad at you

You were nonstop apologizing and offering to take your clothes off

His heart shattered

"S/O, I'm not mad I promise! You did absolutely nothing wrong. Don't worry, it's okay."

When you get like this he just holds you and pets your hair

And gives you lots of forehead kisses

If you ever fell in front of him he would try to prevent it by either catching you or warning you

If he doesn't then he just helps you up and covers you if need be

"I-I'm sorryyyy!" "It's okay, baby. Don't apologize, it's okay."

When Kokichi began trying to make you upset, he was livid

"Hey, S/O! You're making me really angry!" "Am I?! I-I'm so sorry! I-I'll take my-" "Shut up, Kokichi. S/O, you did nothing wrong. He's trying to upset you. Ignore him, he isn't worth it." "O-Oh..."

Shuichi just wants you to be safe, and he's willing to do a lot for you to be that

Kaito:

Kaito thinks your shy nature is adorable!

Like Shuichi, he is also very protective

He doesn't want anyone cough Kokichi taking advantage of you

Kaito gets really upset when you apologize consistently

He's been trying to work with you on it

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry!!!" "S/O, babe! It's okay! You did nothing wrong! Don't apologize!"

Kaito doesn't mind that you are clumsy

It just gives him a reason to hold onto you!

But if you do end up taking a fall, he's quick to help

And rip anyone who makes fun of you a new one

Before you two were dating, Miu frequently insulted you

Almost every time she did you freaked out

"Ahhhhh! I-I'm sorry!! I-I'll take m-my clothes off if y-you want!"

Kaito shut that shit down quick

"S/O, no. You don't have to do that."

If you ever thought he was mad at you, he'd be pretty sad

"S/O, I promise you that I am not mad. I swear on every star in the sky."

Boy loves you so much and just wants you to be the best person you can be

Rantaro:

As soon as Rantaro saw you he immediately wanted to protect you

No one ever really tries to fuck with you because Rantaro will get mad and since it's pretty hard to make him angry everyone got freaked out

Everyone learned that the hard way

First time Kokichi tried fucking with you Rantaro handed his ass to him on a silver platter

"Hey, S/O! Heard you can do animal impressions super well! Mind showing me what a dog looks like?" "O-Okay..."

Rantaro never pulled you to his chest so quick

"So help me, Kokichi. Don't you fucking dare."

No one really heard him swore before so everyone was freaked out

If you took a fall in front of him, his reflexes are quick

If he couldn't catch you, he's insanely fast you help or cover you up

No one is catching a glance at you don't worry

If you ever thought he was mad at you, he'd immediately go to comfort you

"I-I'm sorry! I-I d-didn't mean to upset y-you!"

"No, baby please. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. You did nothing to upset me. I'm not mad, either. I promise. I'll even pinky promise."

Rantaro loves you so so much just let him hold you I'd make his entire life <3

Kokichi:

At first, Kokichi thought it was hilarious

He thought you were just shy

Until you offered to take your clothes off because he started fake-crying

Ever since then he hasn't played intense pranks on you, teased you, etcetera

No one has ever seen him actually care about someone

So it was a shock when he snapped at Miu for making fun of you

"Fuckin' slut! Why don't you offer to take your clothes off for me!?" "I-I'm s-sorry! I-I will if y-you want!"

"Listen you fucking skank. They aren't gonna do that for you because you don't control them. So why don't you carry your sorry ass to your dorm and go play with yourself."

Miu was appalled, just like everyone else

She just cowered away and muttered an apology

Kokichi is well aware that you are clumsy

If you're embarrassed because of a fall, he'll trip too

Or start crying to divert attention

Say you land in a rather awkward position, he will cover you up as soon as he sees and if anyone looks he will throw hands

If you were to think he was mad at you for some reason, he would feel so bad it's not even funny

"S/O... I'm not mad! I couldn't be mad at you. You're too cute to get mad at! You did absolutely nothing wrong, so don't apologize!"

You're Kokichi's soft spot <3

Ryoma:

Never once has he laughed or made fun of you

If anything, he lowkey pitied you

Although Ryoma is small, he can and will fuck someone up for you if it came down to it

One time he nailed Kokichi in the shin with a tennis racket for telling you to act like a cat

"Say it again, I dare you."

Kokichi didn't bother you for a while

If you ever thought he was angry with you, poor boy would have mixed emotions

He would be upset but also angry with himself for making you think that

"Hey... I'm not mad. I don't think I have the ability to be mad at you. I promise, you did nothing to piss me off."

Ryoma can't really catch you if you fall, but he's quick to try and help you up

If you are exposed in some way, he will stand in front of you until you fix yourself

He will protect you for as long as he lives and that's a promise

Gonta:

Gonta was kinda clueless when it came to you

You were shy? Okay!

Even though he didn't really understand, he knew some things were wrong

Like when Miu would insult you and you'd either cry or offer to please her

"Miu! That's not nice! Don't say that to S/O! You don't have to do anything you don't want, S/O!"

Ever since then Gonta got pretty protective

If you ever thought he was mad, he'd probably bawl

"G-Gonta not mad at S/O! Gonta promise! Gonta not mad at all!"

Falling is 50/50 with him

Half of the time he catched you beforehand

The other half you fall and he feels bad

But either way he shields you and helps you up immediately

"Because it's what gentleman do!"

You're like a butterfly to him

Fragile and something that he wants to keep safe

Korekiyo:

Kiyo found you facinating

Your timid nature drew him to you at first

He would merely talk to you and try to be your friend

"Is there a reason why you are so shy, dear?" "O-Oh, I got b-bullied a lot...I-I'm sorry! I should k-keep my sob story to m-myself!" "Please don't apologize. I would like to know as much about you as you'd let me." "O-Oh...o-okay..."

Ever since that first conversation he kept you out of harms way

One day, Miu started insulting you (as usual)

"Ahhhh! I-I'm sorry! I-I can t-take my clothes off i-if you want!" "Hell ye-!" "Say such a thing again and I will be sure to make the next trial yours."

He worked with you a lot after that about offering to take your clothes off in return for forgiveness

"Darling, you have no one to please except yourself. Your body is yours and you should not offer to display it to those you don't want to. Especially if they are unworthy of seeing such a beautiful sight."

If you ever thought he was mad at you, he would be quick to tell you otherwise

"Never, my dear. I am certainly not angry with you. I swear, I don't think I possess the ability to be angered by you."

Kiyo has helped you grow so much, and that's the most beautiful thing in his eyes <3

Kiibo:

When Kiibo first met you, he had a strange feeling

He went to Miu about it and laughed in his face

She told him he was feeling protective

"What a strange feeling...should I act on it?" "Hell yeah!!"

"S/O, I have a feeling called 'protectiveness' towards you." "O-Oh! I-I don't know w-why you'd have such a feeling towards a n-nobody like m-me..." "Don't say such things! Would you like to accompany me to the library?" "I-If it's not a b-bother..."

Miu wouldn't make fun of you, she actually considers you a friend

Kokichi though

Another story

"Hey, S/O! You really pissed me off yesterday!" "Ahhhh!!! I-I'm so sorry!! D-Do you w-want me to take off m-my clothes?" "No, S/O! That isn't necessary! He is lying and is trying to make you upset!"

Miu would deal with Kokichi don't you worry S/O

If you ever thought Kiibo was mad at you, he'd be so confused

"What caused you to think I was angry? Actually, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you know I am not mad in the slightest."

If you ever took a fall in front of him, he would help you up immediately!

But if you fell in a suggestive position, he'd crash

Tenko would rush to help you if that happened

Then she'd curse him out on his degenerate male robot brain

Moral of the story, Kiibo wants to protect you from anything that comes your way! And trust me, he will not fail you!

[pa-panda-heroes]

May I ask for some soft requests for the league ? What would they say to their S/O as they sleep in their arms ? Thank you 🥰❤️

ohooh this is cute, yes :>

What the LoV would say to their s/o as they sleep in their arms!

Tomura:

Honestly, Tomura wouldn’t say much at first. He’s much more intrigued by the face you make in your sleep and just watching you, content in knowing that you’re safe and asleep in his arms.

He’s also afraid of waking you, so he tries to be really quiet. But if he knows he can get away with it, he’ll absolutely run his index finger back and forth along your cheekbone lovingly.

Eventually he’ll get brazen enough to start whispering to you, firstly telling you that he’s happy to see you because he’s had a rough day, and then he goes on.

He’ll tell you about the nightmare he had the night before, wherein you had been hurt somehow - Tomura couldn’t remember details, but the tight feeling in his chest when he woke up stuck with him.

“I will keep you safe, I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll tear all of Japan apart. No, the world.”

And so he’ll tell you things he wouldn’t tell you if you were awake: what ran through his mind the minute he landed eyes on you, what kind of dates you’d go on if he weren’t a notorious villain, how he wants to see you smile more often, that he’s so happy you exist.

“You look as peaceful awake as you do when you’re asleep. That’s a good thing, right? I’m glad. I hope... I’m the reason.”

Eventually whatever leaves his mouth ends up as Tomura musing about you. It’s almost as if you aren’t even there and he’s missing you, like you were somewhere far away and he couldn’t bear not to see you.

Mr. Compress:

You could be cuddling watching TV or something, and he won’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep. It’s when he gushes about suddenly craving broiled eel like the one expertly prepared by the chef on TV, that he notices.

And he just melts. One thing Mr. loves to do is watch your facial expressions and how they change throughout the day, so he’s sky high when he gets to see your sleepy face(s) unabashedly.

He’ll compare them to expressions you make while you’re awake and will narrate how your facial muscles stretch and change as if you’re conscious enough to hear - and care.

From the faces you make, he’ll move on to just what he loves about your face in general, which eventually leads to what he enjoys about your personality.

“You’re perfect, you know that? I’m not idolizing you, you have flaws and so do I, but what I mean to say is... you’re perfect for me. But naturally, as I sit here, must I wonder - am I perfect for you?”

By the heavens he hopes so. And he’ll tell you that. He’ll tell you that no matter how much ruckus he stirs as a villain, he hopes that you’ll stay by his side and love him unconditionally. Being a villain isn’t some character flaw, he knows that.

“I think, maybe, you’re what I live for. What I fight for? Maybe both. No, maybe neither. What I mean is... hm, I can imagine different futures all I want, but I can’t imagine a single one of them without you.”

Mr. may not be adept at putting such intimate and serious thoughts into words, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying.

Twice:

To say that Twice wouldn’t take the chance to shamelessly ogle your sleeping face, would be to lie.

And to say that Twice wouldn’t take the chance to gush about you and how strong yet gentle and caring you are, shamelessly? Yep - a lie.

He’s going to narrate in explicit detail what it looked like that time you told off some older woman harassing you over your groceries after a lack of a good night’s sleep and a particularly grueling day. He was so damned proud of you for standing up for yourself.

Twice would 100% talk about selling everything he owns and buying you the fanciest ring he could afford just because. And while on that note, he’d change the purpose of the ring from “for funsies” to “you deserve it.”

“Somewhere down the road, that ring could be... y’know, special, right? More special than it is already, because it is yours, after all. How do I say it without actually saying it?”

Thank everything in existence you’re asleep because this poor man flusters himself! He trips over his words a bit, and he says things that would be embarrassing if you were awake. Hell, they’re embarrassing and you’re asleep!

But Twice means what he says, there’s no questioning it. He’s not much of a liar to begin with, and there’s no way he can look at you and lie - even if he’s trying to surprise you in some way.

“I just hope... you’re happy. This life isn’t so easy, so, ah, I wanna do what I can to make you happy. I want to give you everything you deserve and then some. Easier said than done, but... still!”

Himiko:

Himiko will start off poking and prodding at your face for the sake of doing so while she has you so vulnerable. It’s just self-indulgent fun for her and she can’t help it!

She’ll tug on your cheek, poke your nose, even run her fingers across your eyelids, like she’s making a map of your face. She’ll count the whispies or runaway hairs on your forehead if you have any, or possibly your eyelashes.

Himiko isn’t exactly “sappy,” and she’s not quick to open up. But seeing you so peaceful and serene even after her facial muscle torture, is a delight for her and she has to hold back the urge to squeal.

Oddly enough, she’ll ask you questions that you can’t answer amidst your unconscious state - almost rapid-fire, too.

“What did you think of me when we met? Did you think of me as just another bloodthirsty villain, or did you see me? Could you hear my heart race when I saw you beaten and battered on that sidewalk? Do you love me?”

After that she’ll fall eerily silent, electing to instead roam her hands all over you soothingly, with no ill intent.

Himiko’s face will scrunch as she looks at you, her lips pursing and eyebrows narrowing. To say that she never stalked you would be a lie. She only wanted you safe, and seeing you so defenseless reminded her of that.

“I think you can take care of yourself plenty, my dear. Don’t misunderstand. But the thought of letting you be on your own hurts. What if someone hurts you? Well, I’d hurt them tenfold.”

Dabi:

He’ll know you’re nodding off before you do, seeing your sleepy state the minute he’s exposed to it. Dabi’s attention isn’t anywhere but you when you’re cuddling like this, but you won’t know that.

The tips of his fingers gently ghost over whatever limb they’re closest to, and as he searches for something to say or do, or even think, he’s blank.

His brows furrow in frustration at himself. He’s not as open and verbal about his feelings as you are, and oftentimes it frustrates the living hell out of you, but he can’t help it. He’s been trying, though, and you’ve given credit where it’s due. He appreciates that.

“You put up with my shit too much, you know it? You’re so patient with me, even when you’re ticked at me for bein’ the jackass I am. Even when I do it on purpose, you stick by me. I don’t get it. Why?”

He’s enamored with how easily you seem to look past the grimy and cruel exterior that he’s created over the years, instead looking at Dabi, not the blue flame villain of the League of Villains. Would he stick around if the tables were turned? Psh! No! So why do you stay?

By the time Dabi had you wrapped around his fingers - or was it perhaps the other way around? - he thought he had your character down pat, known like the exact number of staples holding his skin together.

But the more hell he puts you through, as a wicked way of testing your loyalty he can’t help but do, the more you seem to want to stay with him. And the less he understands you.

“I guess I’m really stuck with you, huh? Not that you’ll catch me complainin’. Besides, you’re the one who gets the short end of the stick. Put up a fight more, yeah? Don’t just put up with me. Do what you’ve been doing, and help me be less of an asshole.”

Spinner:

He’s honestly the most clueless and flustered when it comes to talking to you, or about you, while you’re asleep in his arms. He feels so awkward, he can’t help it.

“You always believe in me when no one else does, so, uh, that’s really... nice of you. You’d think I’m a total creep watching you sleep right now if you were awake, huh? I just wish I could believe in myself like you do.”

Do you always encourage him and look up to him? Yes. But are you Spinner’s personal cheerleader? No, not all. What you do is not just boosting his confidence, it’s building it. And he’s going to tell you he appreciates that, if a bit awkwardly, and how much that means to him.

The other members or random passersby can call him a “lizard” all they want, but alongside his protests are always your snippy comebacks and jeered disapproval. He’ll be sure to bring up at least one instance of that.

While he’s telling you he appreciates your standing up for him, he’s also going to tell you to let up a bit so that he gets used to doing it himself. You’re not coddling him or anything, he’s just afraid of relying on you too much.

“I want you to rely on me more. I’m here for you... just like you’re here for me. Does that make sense? I guess it doesn’t matter, since you’re asleep... ah, what was I saying? I just- I want to support you like you deserve, I want to watch out for you. Forever. I want you to be you and not worry about me so much.

Spinner may trip over his words here and there, but his message would be absorbed all the same, if you were awake. He almost wishes you were, but realizes he can tell you all that once you’re conscious again, right? He’ll spill his guts to you, then.

[swimmingleo]

good day to u leo this is an opportunity to expand on the dark side of the rainbow theory, if you want to— what parts of it really get you, why, what you think it All Means, any colour you like <3

omgggg heehee meggg here we go again <3 I already ranted about it here so i'm gonna try not to repeat myself too much rdfkjf but I think what I really LOVE about this theory is how the entire thing makes absolute total sense with what Pink Floyd consistently was about, whether it be the themes or on the technical side.

Ok first it all starts with this panel:

Time ?? Heart ?? ~Clock ticking~Heartbeats~ Tell me this bit of text doesn't scream PF dramatics, it actually sounds Watersian bro

also making me emotional, because DSOTM is dedicated to the lunatics, and later The Wall would be dedicated to paranoids and bleeding hearts, and they're both over 40yo, and they're the two PF albums that are still mainstream to this day and so their philosophy didn't went out of fashion, ueueue

On The Run:

The scene of Dorothy singing Over the Rainbow is dubbed with On The Run, consisting of planes exploding. PF uses again the image of a child dreaming about the sky only to meet violence in The Wall:

Look mummy, there's an aeroplane up in the sky [...]

Did you ever wonder why we had to run for shelter when the

Promise of a brave new world unfurled beneath a clear blue sky?, Goodbye Blue Sky

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue

And the dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true, Over The Rainbow

While Dorothy is convinced dreams really do come true, Pink realizes they don't because he still has to hide from danger even long after the war ended and peace was promised to everyone. As an adult, Pink references Over The Rainbow again, maybe trying to find shelter in childhood memories as he's violently judging himself for being "crazy". Over The Rainbow is just so ridiculously emOTIONAL and it sounds so fragile, the same way PF sounds whenever they mention a dream that is "gone" or "crazy"

Money

Dorothy opening the door to technicolor world makes the noise of a cash register opening. As she walks around the place, she really thinks she is over the rainbow and that she will find happiness there. In reality, she spends her time here running from danger and longs for home. The exact same morale concludes Pink Floyd's Animals: in their quest to satisfy their "need" (for money, fame or power), the dogs lie, betray and live in constant fear, forcing their way into a system that initially rejects them. Eventually, just like Dorothy, the dog realizes all they really need is the comfort and safety of home. animals my beloved my sexy depressing hopeful wife <3

Us and Them

MEG a lot of that is you and your magic notes and your thoughts>

That's where DSOTM playing through Dorothy's moral compass is sooo cool. At that point in the movie, she's praised for having killed a wicked witch and is told how to determine bad from good (Glinda says ugly witches = bad ones, but define ugly bro). The scene also exposes all the players: good witches, bad witches, munchkins, and lil clueless Dorothy. It really illustrates so well the humanistic values PF always is about: be compassionate, open and willing to experience before deciding who is good and who isn't. PF can sound misanthropic but their albums are really about ~luv in a. peculiar way. PF's philosophy is, humans aren't inherently bad, they're taught and led to fight each other by a handful of bad guys in command, who make their bread out of the fighting, and the cycle reenforces abusive systems. Money is what the fighting's all about, the greed of a few is what deepens the gaps between people under all prisms (it's really about intersectionality). I just LOVE that bit where Dorothy is happily skipping on the yellow brick road on the line "Out of the way, it's a busy day". She's just SO blissfully unaware of what that cute lil trip has in store for her <3

Any Colour You Like

The song starts PRECISELY when Dorothy is confronted to a crosspath. She is confused, as she was only told to follow the yellow brick road: problem is both paths are the yellow brick road.

Any Colour You Like is another cute sarcasm. While the title lets you think it's about being in power of your life's decisions, it actually refers to the illusion of choice: being presented with various options that are the same colour. All yellow for Dorothy, "all blue" according to Roger Waters' original metaphor.

IM JOKING but also living for inverted colors' transcending power

Brain Damage:

Following Any Colour You Like, Brain Damage overlaps with the Scarecrow's song If I Only Had A Brain. It's already a BIG coincidonk on its own but thing is it has history:

If there is ONE song in DSOTM officially explicitly written after and for Syd, it's Brain Damage. And Syd happens to have written a song for their first album clearly inspired by the Scarecrow. It's titled um. Scarecrow lol

The black and green scarecrow as everyone knows

In Syd's song, the Scarecrow does no thinking and is opposed to the speaker who does have a brain. Because the Scarecrow goes with the flow and doesn't make any choice for himself, life isn't unkind to him. However, In Brain Damage, the speaker's brain is judged insane, because they go against the rule and stray from life's designated path. So Life, "you", is trying to restrain or actually damage the lunatic's brain: attempting to turn the lunatic who knows who they are into the brainless Scarecrow again.

Meanwhile, the Scarecrow in Oz is obsessed with the idea of having a physical brain because he thinks he needs it somehow to fit in society, and do what people with a brain do. But he proves all along their journey that he's just as clever and functional without <3

Fun bonus, some fans saw in the cover of the live album Pulse (1995) the silhouette of a kid dressed in blue and wearing red slippers:

ANYWAY BASICALLY I don't know if the entire album was written after The Wizard Of Oz, like, with the aim of synchronizing them both together from the start, or if both concepts met at some point. Demos of DSOTM were played and experimented on tours (The Great Gig in the Sky started off as just ominous music and creepy readings of the Bible lol), and some early version of songs like Us and Them were originally written for other projects. It doesn't change the fact that the final selection was mixed and edited together to cOiNcidEntAlLy perfectly fit the 40 first minutes of The Wizard of Oz, but it's hard to tell how much writing was done with the movie in mind.

That being said I think they would totally have done it as a challenge first: it was at a time where they started to reaaally have fun with the possibilities technologies offered, and PF was always about experimenting and exploiting visuals as much as playing music. Given all the movies' soundtracks they did prior to DSOTM and how this album would be their first following a certain narration, it's really adequate in context and a great technical achievement for the time.

Overall, The Wizard of Oz is just THAT perfect medium to work with. Tale-like narration, grand visuals. It has been associated with populism, political and economic allegories as well as being a cultural monument of childhood and nostalgia. Mix it all up and you get Pink Floyd lmao

[dumbdemonslayertexts]

random excerpts from black girl time travel kny au (3rd installment)

Pairing: rengoku / black!fem oc or reader

warnings: this is long af i actually hit the post limit!? spacing saved me tho lol and smut so 18+ pls! also forgive me for taking hella liberties with the layout of the rengoku estate y’all lol

the sight before her was sledging a battering ram at her self-control—-what damned little there had been to begin with. 

against the vast onyx of the nightscape behind him, opposite of the full moon that kissed at their side, kyojuro’s skin took on the shimmer and fairness of freshly polished marble–even more splendid with the scars and burns he had accumulated over time. the gleam of his skin wrapped in the steam engulfing them both, the tone of his well developed muscle… it was such torment to behold. he made it only that much worse with his hair loose, drenched and clinging to his shoulders. and in the midst of their evening, he’d allowed his head to lull back, leaving exposed the arousing sight that was the ridges of his throat, just as prominent as the adam’s apple they handsomely framed.

just how great could her self-control have been at the start, if this was her direct intention?

“you don’t want to be around me because you’re attracted to me?“ 

“imene, if i were to act on any feeling that I have developed for you, it would be dishonorable of me.”

“to who?” she asked. all the while she couldn’t help noting that his face still never left his resting grin, despite it looking slightly detached, and the conflict evident behind it. it didn’t stop the confidence exuded in his voice.

the flame hashira tightened his arms over his chest, his gaze straight ahead of him rather than to her.

“to do so would dishonor you and my duty to you as i swore to oyakata-sama. not only that, but it would also shame myself.”

he seemed so resolute, all she could manage were a handful of dumb blinks to him. she could not possibly see how returning her feelings would mean such dire consequences, “–even if i wanted it?" 

kyojuro’s lips parted in shock, like that possibility had not once occurred to him. it revealed to her, just then, how clueless he must’ve been over her actions as well. it made sense, if he could be so blind to how his own were being construed all this time.

and naturally, his first reaction was a flawed denial, resting tightly behind the upturn of the mouth that returned to his face.

"ah. you’re simply vulnerable, imene.”

“i’m grown, kyojuro,” she quickly shut him down, “and you being sweet, and brave, and selfless, and caring, and noble, and adorable doesn’t have a damn thing to do with me being vulnerable. being fine as hell doesn’t either.”

he was stiff, and quiet after that. when he finally did respond, kyō began by standing to his feet, the abruptness with which he did making her flinch. the next words she heard from him were given in an even more detached, bare-surface shell of enthusiasm. so imene knew she wouldn’t be getting in another word on the matter, frustrating her more.

“i am happy to hear you think me a fine man, i will do my best to live up to this for you! please allow me to escort you to your room, i’ve kept you up unreasonably late.”

it was a premature assessment on his part, but correct all the same. she absolutely did remain awake the whole night thinking about him. and would, for several uninterrupted others.

some weeks later of unresolved tension, he’d returned with marginally heavied eyes rested above that perma-grin of his, along with the telling signs of bruises forming at his forehead and jaw. imene knew what magnitude of exhaustion that implied alone, just for the pillar of flame to allow his lids to droop the fraction that they had, when his expression was always unfailingly wide-eyed and alert. kyojuro had been called away on a mission not hours after completing training sessions with two other hashira, named shinazugawa and himejima. even in possession of the strength and stamina imene knew him to have, she wanted to do nothing but lay his head in her lap, and pet him to sleep from the moment she laid eyes on him. but he was adamant of his being fine—and moreso of preferring an opportunity to bathe, most definitely in getting something in his belly before curling up to sleep. 

“who did your patchwork..?" 

he hummed, grinning and looking touched, "you worry too much for me, kindling." 

she’d hardly had time to enjoy the butterflies from his new name for her, when he set off full-fledged rockets in her chest with the way he now pressed his cheek softly into her palm. imene hadn’t even noticed that she’d reached a hand upward to cup his face again, but for one reason or another, he no longer was shrinking away from the prospect of her touch. and for this sudden change, the pessimist in her surfaced again. it brought doubt to twinge in her mind, hurtfully proposing that he had done so only to appease her after their confrontation those weeks ago. but that would make no sense from him. he was far too earnest to act in passive aggression that way. either way, she shooed the inhibitions… her time alone with him was far too rare to waste with such nonsense. "no,” she knowingly disagreed, “i think it’s just enough. since you like to keep your injuries secret,” she answered, “like how you’re doing now.”

that made him chuckle aloud, “i don’t keep them secret! they’re there aren’t they?”

“you know what the hell i mean!"  "i don’t, i swear!”

when she poked her tongue out at him for teasing, he beamed, and nearly gave into the urge to pinch her cheeks. but even with this newfound liberation of enjoying her physical affections on him, rengoku still could not bring himself to freely touch her. the desire to was locked away deep in him, left to scald his skin and smoulder in his bones. he only could make recompense by ingraining each of her pets and strokes, each loving brush of her fingers permanently into his memory—-fresh, where he could visit them again more appropriately at much later times… and alone.

“i’ve got something to give to you,” her cheer snapped him out of the train of thought. and directly in time, before his body would betray the manner of said thoughts.

“for me?” he asked. his reaction was so bubbly and cheerful, she couldn’t help but beam at him, feeling her crush on him swell her chest.

“mhmm, to relax your muscles and all. it’ll make you feel a lot better, you’ll sleep better, too.”

those benefits made him perk up even more–letting her know more thoroughly the extent of his condition, “oh! when may i have it?”

“you said you wanted to bathe first, right?” she asked, and he briefly nodded. “i’ll bring it to you.”

“what a sweet little spark you are, imene,” he remarked with affection. she quickly urged him in the direction of the small, modest onsen at the rear of rengoku estate, if for nothing else than to conceal the fact that he’d – again – made her blood rush to her nose and cheeks, flaring her in a blush. a state she did not deem fitting for her intended present for him. the man washed quicker than anyone she’d encountered, already wrapped around the waist and making to out the water from his hair when she’d gotten to him. “kyojuro!” without even looking up, he was laughing through a sheepish upturn of his face, just at the way she whined his name so aggrieved. “what’ve i done now?” “i told you i’d bring it out here and you’re out of the water already!” over his growing amusement, she fussed at him, but he raised appeasing hands to her, making quickly to acquiesce. “you’re right! you’re right, it slipped my mind, i’m sorry,” he promised without diminishing his humored tone, “here, i’m getting back in..!” imene turned away for his sake, waiting for the sound of his body entering the steaming water before turning back. the smile he’d earned from simply that had kyojuro elated. “you’ll give it to me, now?” “you have to sit at the edge, first.” his brows leaped in slight surprise, but quickly fell under the realization that he was in for a massage–if he was lucky, perhaps even a new healing balm. there was no time at all before he had lifted himself onto the stony perimeter of the water and covered himself with the towel beneath him. by the time she’d circled his back, imene had seen him wearing a look so pleased that it came off almost giddy. it made her heart race. “okay, now close your eyes,” she directed, so innocently that the instruction sounded far more asked than given. he craned his head to her to show her his obliging, and imene took the advantage, slipping her borrowed yukata free, and herself into the heated water that only covered the blond’s shins.  “are all your presents so secretive?” her heart was pounding now—-adrenaline kicked through her system far too hard for her to give an answer, or to do anything at all aside from focus on the task at hand. then, in an instant, all of her intentions fell into place for him when he felt his towel tugged free from his waist. “imene--” “your eyes, kyojuro,” she countered his shock with a cool and firm disposition. they had flown open at the feeling of her in such proximity to his groin, but in doing so, he’d nearly seen her half nude form submerged in the water. the man had no choice but to follow her command, lest he break his own self-appointed code over her. she had played it to her advantage quite impressively, he could admit. “…you’re still worried that seeing me naked will dishonor me?” she could see his jaw clenched, even notice the flare in his petite nostrils with him collecting himself enough to recall the word “yes.” he could feel thunder in his ears from how tightly he had sealed his eyes behind their lids. all of him was tense–as much as a storm-borne kite string. then, the downy touch of her fingers ascended his inner thigh. his breath hitched from the sensation, leaving all coherency to scramble in garbled noise pinging about his skull. “and what if you touch me..?” her voice had deepened into a flowing silk that could rival the blanket of the night surrounding them… and to his mortification, it stiffened his manhood even further than her hands had by themselves. “…imene…” he barely choked out. it didn’t deter her. much to his demise, it had quite the opposite effect, and worked to spur her on. “look at you, kyojuro,” she purred, “how many  lives did you save tonight..?” she gently eased her fingertips up his built legs… deliberately slow, adding pressure and curling her wrists in a massage to the bulk of his thigh muscles. all the while, she relished in the sounds of his breathing, the struggle to keep his voice from breaking through each exhale as he melted under her. “how many sons and daughters, fathers to be, fiancées… how many family lines did you keep intact… just tonight? just with the demons you slayed tonight, flame hashira…” he was light-headed from the rush of blood she sent to his cock with this praise—he and it were beet red already, untouched for so long that he was ready to burst just from that little. “please…” “please?” she cooed back, caressing further upward. she could feel every rock hard muscle beneath his waist clench when her knuckles brushed past the root of his erection–and from the way kyojuro fought to contain the curse he hissed through his teeth, she had to squeeze her own thighs, now tingling with the electricity felt in her slickening center. “i told you why i can’t… you must know–” when she shushed him, just as soothingly as she cooed before, imene could see his lips purse together. she felt pity for his predicament, truly. but more strongly than that, she felt the need to convince him that it was not the necessity he so insisted, “then don’t… i don’t want you to do anything, just let me…"  the last of this was breathed into his lower shaft, leading him to flinch. it was remarkably thick, to her anticipation. additionally, he was the first uncut man she’d seen in person, and it was intimidating in a way that made her sinfully tighten. the thunderbolt sent through her made her feel virginal–only from seeing what he was endowed with. there was a mass of wings fluttering in her tummy, making her heart race and drying out her throat. with the utmost care, she brought a feather’s touch around him… barely making contact with his skin, "you’ve done so much for me… for everyone around you, people you don’t even know… all the time…” she whispered, “i promise you don’t have to move, you don’t have to look, either. i just want to take care of you."  "gods, you’ll be my ruin,” his voice was constricted and thin, barely contained behind the need to match every ounce of her ardor. her words were softening his heart, whilst hardening him much further below, both more by the second. and her lush warmth resting on his legs, her breath breaking against his prick made him a pathetic sight, huffing out in desperation as precum already drooled in thick tendrils from his stiffness. “good."  she cradled the underside of the thick head in her tongue, only then allowing full contact of her fingers around his cock, and exposing the tip from its foreskin with a slow downstroke – both of which made him throw his head back to shout his curses to the air. the taste of him pooled onto her tastebuds, warm and heady. and it instantly made her lose control. high and mindless on her ignited desire for him, imene’s lips enveloped the crown of his dick, intent to draw out all she could from him for herself. it was the guttural cry her suction and tongue elicited from him that made her remember herself, barely in time to prevent him from cumming prematurely into her mouth.  she slipped from him, causing a lewd pop to meet his ears, and litter his skin in chills while his overwhelmed noises were still settling. "i’m sorry, kyojuro.” “i—ughn..!” his answer was lapped up with her tonguing the ridge at the underside of his girth. imene was sending him into a delirium, making his mind swirl with the pleasure her wet mouth and warm, soft hands mercilessly delivered. she’d barely wet him, and the need to cum was already sending threatening electric pulses through his dick. she was making it leap and flex with a mind of its own, just from the feeling of her drawing out supple, open kisses that suckled his cock deeper and deeper into the dizzying, hot constriction behind those full lips. he could only remember what oxygen was when she released him from her mouth. “i’ll slow down for you, sweetness."  then, those words set something off in him that neither of them were ready for. with a tensing of his thighs, he encircled her fist in his before either of them could think, tightening her hold. he bucked his hips once, and again, into her joint grip down to the hilt, groaning out in abandon. her mouth and cunt watered at the sight, and when she saw what a tortured expression he wore, her tongue drew a rigid line up his slit at his cocktip, turning him into jelly.  "fuck…hhhfuckkkk…” he chanted in husky breaths, letting his hand fall away from hers to let his forearm desperately cover his eyes. each word from him, each demonstration of his caged up hunger for her made imene’s arousal ache and swell. she wanted him louder, so she sucked him in again, flooding the engorged head until it was all but swimming in her saliva as she squeezed and stroked him. his broken, erratic breaths rewarded her, becoming gulps and choked out moans from his throat when she added more to destroy him. imene flattened her warm tongue – never once removing his dick where it was soaking in her sweet devilish mouth – using it to lave the bulbous tip again, and again, until his hips were desperately inching up in little curls, wanting more of those drenched sweeps licking at the spot there… god, right there. the spot that was so sensitive that each lick she gave him made his eyes roll further back into his head. oh, but then she wanted to feel his abdominal muscles jump, so she reached up to massage his balls as well, both already running over with the spit escaping the seal of her lips around his thick erection. that was when the words stopped entirely. just gasps and airy, choked coughs of moans failing in his throat floated down to her hearing, which she took as kyojuro fortifying his willpower against allowing her to undo him. it did little aside from making her swirling tongue increase its fervour. she committed herself to having all of him hellishly stimulated at once. and fuck… fuck, fuck,  f u c k  he was. imene had no idea of it, but when he was at his brink, she was lifted free from him and sat onto the end of his lap, in a flash of a single movement. it sudden enough that her drooling mouth and hands were still stunned in  their same positions. but when she recognized they were no longer filled with his cock as they had been, her eyes flew open, met with his–clenched, and frowned in grave concentration as he held her, panting heavily. “i can’t,” he huffed, “gods, i can’t."  his fingers dug around her arms with such desperation that she was sure to bruise. kyō avoided meeting either her gaze, or laying an eye on her nakedness, with his temple pressed into her jaw. and still, he fought to silence his carnality from just feeling her waiting heat so close to his steadily leaping prick. ”imene. i beg you, leave me,“ he said, hoarse and deprived, "please. any more and i will take you, right here. i don’t want to tarnish you."  "i want you to, kyojuro–” “no, sweet,” he cut her off, breathless, strained, anguished, “no man could do to your body what i wish to and dare to say he respected it as a divine thing.” “oh, fuck…” she whined. out of his sight, imene’s eyes lidded, drinking in his face and body as she squirmed. no other sentence had ever served so greatly to turn her on, and it was a fight to keep herself from sitting on his dick there, just from his vulgar warning. his cock salivated again at the sound of her keen. “kindling,” his voice answered hers, just as tortured in lust, “i can’t… try and understand how difficult this is, please.” their struggling breaths served as the only sounds between them aside from the lapping water at their legs, calming to heavy pants after some minutes.  “i do,” she finally answered. breathless as she was, he could still hear the deflation in her voice. it pained him to be the source of dejection in her yet again, now without the excuse of it not being his intention. his hands softened, running up the smooth scape of her arms, stopping to cup the feminine curve of her neck. when he brought his forehead to rest sweetly against hers, he finally willed his eyes to open, looking no place else aside from her face. his grin had returned, sex-fogged, but genuine. “god help me, when will i stop causing you pain…” she took a feather’s hold of his wrists where he cradled her, giving a wistful smile to her lap. he was already cleaning the mess he had made of her face, wiping her mouth and chin free from spit and precum, and she lulled her eyes to a close. “you still need to eat."  her response made him falter, snapping his eyes up to hers where they had fallen into a loving gaze to her lips. "yes."  imene’s body trembled still, pulling the urge from him to swipe his thumb along her cheek in attempt to ease her. but her resolve had already found itself renewed. "close your eyes again, kyojuro. i have to get up, still.” something felt exceptionally cruel about the weight of finality waiting until then to fall. it was sobering, particularly to rengoku, chasing away not only the heat and clamor that had been so ardent in them before, but also the deepened intimacy he had kept himself at such a distance from with her, out of fear that he would fall in love with it … that he would endlessly desire it once tasted. it was unnatural to feel his passion be robbed so. he complied, blocking his vision for her and waiting until her voice sounded again that she was decent, then taking the chance to cover himself from her eyes as well. “senjuro cooked tonight,” she commented. she was surprisingly chipper, but it was pleasant to see to kyojuro. “he made plenty so you would have enough for seconds and thirds if you wanted them. he kept saying he wanted to be sure because you eat so much.” his heart melted at the face she made then, glowing with sweetened affection for his younger brother. “he is a good boy.” she nodded, so warm and with a pure intention that astonished kyō after what they had just torn themselves away from. “and he idolizes you so much. i’ve never seen anybody love their big brother as much as he does.” pride burst through his chest, softening him and warming his smile to a dreamy hue.  rather than to wound the moment with the truth of them being all they had left, he settled for the simpler truth of things. “i love senjuro very much!” her gentlest smile greeted him, and his stomach tickled–warm and fuzzy. “i can eat with you if you want..?” “i would like that very much. thank you, my kindling."  she had nearly made her way to the house again with his lovesick eyes glued to her, when he called out to her once more, softening his eyed once her attention was captured.  though, to her embarrassment, the rest of him –booming volume included– had returned to normal by then. "ah! and thank you for my present!”

◁ ◁ part 2 || part 4 ▷ ▷

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 38

💖 first time reader click here 💖

Fluff and snowball fights. Forgiveness is a path and everyone's making their happy way down it. Friendly Steve slander. Hulk interaction!

"So, what now?" I asked, eyes still closed, not resisting the desire to remain under the covers, nested snugly into Stephen's side. On his other side, Tony snored away, sprawled like a starfish in what looked to be the first decent shut-eye he got in months. I could smell the coffee and omelettes from Tony's kitchen and the soft jazz music playing where Bruce was taking care of the breakfast.

It was an unambiguous decision to take it easy after the last battle. Bucky and Natasha had been ironing out the details from the interrogation after Stephen had un-possessed Cabre, Wanda and Loki were itching to get a minute with the mercenary on their own and Veddie, as I started calling my uncle and his symbiote after experiencing the incredibly immersive symbiosis with Venom, hovered nearby in case Cabre would make a good snack.

"What do you want to do?" Stephen's morning voice was, ahem, an experience. He put Corpse Husband to shame and I knew that it wasn't only me who got hot and bothered by it but Tony as well...

Speaking of Tony, I still had no idea where we stood. My engineer had been less than happy about my actions and I thought I blew it. He wasn't as warm and playful, and while I kept telling myself that it was just the exhaustion from weeks of stress and worry, I knew better.

"I don't know. I didn't think this far," I admitted, damn well knowing what I wanted. I wanted things to be like they were - clear, honest, easy. My mother's voice rang out clearly again. I was being childish. Of course I was.

"I'm sure Tony will have my head for this, but seeing as there's no stopping you, I'm sure Natasha and Barnes will be happy to train you," Stephen sighed, his breath warm in my hair.

I blanched, stiffening in his arms, confused. "Where did that come from?" My eyes finally opened to stare at his sleepy face.

His eyebrows rose. "You don't want to..?"

"Be a hero, like you? No," I shook my head, then snorted. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you I don't want to go to college just yet, maybe take a gap year. In fact, I want to avoid actual in-person classes as much as humanely possible. And I still don't have a clue what major exactly I want to pursue." I was being honest, prepared to be judged. In-between my three men, there were at least ten PhDs whilst I was only nearly done with the first step of my education.

"So what, it was a one-time deal? Let an alien parasite take over your body for a coupla' hours and then continue with your life?" Tony's scratchy voice startled me; apparently, he'd been awake and actively eavesdropping.

I wasn't prepared for this conversation, but then again, I'd never be. Might as well rip the bandaid off. "I'm not that flavour of stupid," I immediately retorted, heart beginning to pick up speed. My mouth was gonna get me in trouble. "I am not delusional, I know things aren't and won't be the same. I did what I did because there was no other option, I'm not sorry and I will do it again if the need arises. It's not what you want to hear but it's the truth." I paused, well aware that my speech was becoming quicker, I was well on my way to nervous rambling. "I'm not hero material, I won't go on a death march for a rando," Justifying my actions? No. I stopped myself again. "I am sorry for lying. I am sorry for hiding things. But I am not sorry for putting my own ass out there so we can get some fucking peace." I finally settled, fisting my pajama top under the blanket in an attempt to release some of the tension.

Twin sighs erupted from my men, as if their bodies synchronized in response to my stubborn nature. Stephen's hold tightened on me as Tony rolled over, sleepy eyes blinking from the space opposite of me on Stephen's chest. Tony's hand reached for my face, stroking the side of it wordlessly - he wasn't the most vocal about his feelings but his eyes said it all. Tony was sad, hurt, a little bit angry but mostly he was relieved. It was the way he moved - nearly no traces of the tension that had gathered on his face in the previous weeks.

"Natasha should still train you, some basic hand to hand and weapons training, in case someone has it out for any of us. SHIELD's security has holes, you're basically one of us now. Everyone and their mother saw Clint hauling you to the quinjet," Tony finally grumbled, admitting his defeat. Everyone knew that if it had been up to him, I wouldn't leave the tower without an armed escort at all times. Thankfully, Bruce was there to screw on Tony's bolts right each time he wanted to go overboard. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did.

Stephen's free hand landed in Tony's hair, the sorcerer effectively calmed both of us down with his gentle, unobtrusive support. He was far more empathetic than he liked to show. "That seems like a smart idea," He rumbled as my eyes began to drift shut once again.

With each steady breath, my heartbeat slowed and the feelings of guilt and dread began to dissipate. Tony might not had forgiven me yet but I was on my way to inner peace once more. I remembered feeling exactly the same way before our relationship, when every time I took a step inside Tony's lab, I tensed inwardly, shielded my feelings from his eyes, too focused on the outcome I thought would be absolutely disastrous. I had always thought he'd laugh at me, and yet... Laying on Steph's chest, inches away from Tony, my past panic seemed ridiculous.

"What's so funny?" Stephen asked, amused.

I didn't even notice the snort that managed to escape me. "Nothing," I answered immediately, feeling my face heat up. Oh my Loki, what kind of an idiot I had been...

"Sure," Tony's finger poked my cheek without preamble. "Staging a world domination plan, aren't we?" He snarked, much more like his usual self.

"I was just remembering when I was so terrified you'd find out I have a crush on you and you'd laugh at me," I mumbled, willing to placate Tony to avoid any more unnecessary lies and deceit.

Tony, did, in fact, laugh at my confession, but so did Stephen and I am pretty sure I heard Bruce snort from the direction of the archway leading into the spacious bedroom. The bed dipped as the scientist sat down, running a palm over my leg.

"I was pretty sure you would laugh at me," He admitted just as quietly and bashfully. Stephen and Tony only laughed harder. I heard the sound of a pillow hitting Steph in the face. "Let's go, Princess, let's leave the mean geezers alone. I made breakfast."

I could practically hear the pout in Bruce's voice and couldn't resist to comply, leaving a grumbling Tony to stretch and roll out of bed like a disgruntled cat.

"You're older than me, Bruce," Stephen rolled his eyes, I could feel his stare linger on my exposed thighs before Bruce picked me up. My sorcerer boyfriend switched to staring at Tony's bare back, which was an action I wholeheartedly supported.

"Cocky bastards," I stuck out my tongue a moment before we turned the corner and then all I could focus on was the feast of gods Bruce had made for us. The man was really too sweet and too kind, he never ceased to make me mushy and stuff. I stole a kiss, and then another one, and another one, until Tony's whining about the toast burning interrupted our moment.

The bread was fine. Tony was just being himself.

Our phones beeped at the same time - mine being already in my hand, as all normal young people did in the mornings - I looked at the message expecting another assemble and feeling my eyebrows crawl up at Steve's suggestion we all get some fresh air that day.

It had snowed. The whole city was covered in white, crisp snow, and Bucky has been liking nothing but other people's snowman pictures for several days. I suspected the brunette had convinced his boyfriend to take him out to build one or something, but as Steve was known to be exceptionally dense at times, Cap'n Jolly had unanimously decided it was a team bonding-slash-relaxing opportunity.

I relayed my thoughts to my own boyfriends, all of us giggling at Steve's eagerness to cater to his boyfriend and his cluelessness when it came to all things romantic. I was tempted to shoot Steve a text explaining his epic gamer moment but before I could even open the app, Bruce's eyes turned green briefly as he had a very obvious internal conversation with Hulk.

"Is that offer to spend time with Hulk still up?" The scientist asked timidly.

I had a lightbulb moment. "Absolutely!" I replied, watching my other two boyfriends. They didn't even bat an eye, evidently at peace with the green situation. "As long as the snowball fight is had with Thor, Steve or other enhanced individuals." Personally, I had no desire to be flipped over by a snowball the size of a watermelon. Or get any of the pretty but cold stuff under my clothes.

Bruce's responding grin was mostly Hulk.

It was a couple of days before Christmas. I was never one much for the holiday season, but something magical had seeped into me - it wasn't the shiny lights throughout the tower, it wasn't Clint's ugly Christmas sweater and the smell of gingerbread cookies and cinnamon that came from Wanda's apartment. I had no clue what it was, but it seemed to be tied to my boyfriends and Loki and many others who lived in the tower.

Bruce was all but wiggling during the car ride to the park - rationally, I knew it was the Hulk being excited but I still couldn't take my eyes off the usually reserved man. Bruce was happy. It made me smile and hold his hand like we were middle-schoolers in love. The rest of the team pretended to not notice it, or maybe they didn't care, or maybe they had already gotten used to my unconventional relationship.

Either way, Bucky had whisked Steve away almost immediately and I did what every kid ever had dreamed of. As Bruce went to a more secluded space to transform into the Hulk and Tony went to retrieve his thermos of coffee, I ushered Sam over to Steve's car and unlocked it, retrieving his shield from the trunk. It was heavier than it looked but did it stop me and Sam from running up the nearest hill and fighting over who gets to go first?

No, it did not. In mere moments, my ass was being frozen to the metal despite my snowsuit as I parked it inside the shield , holding onto the straps as Sam pushed on my back, hollering "Yeet!" at the top of his lungs, sending me in a steep slide towards where Thor was enthusiastically explaining something to the rest of the team.

"Oh shiiiiit!" I screamed, unprepared for the sudden increase in speed and the surprisingly good gliding abilities Captain America's shield possessed. "Watch o-o-out!" I yelled as the group scattered at the last moment. I heard some strong Russian words coming from Natasha, paired with snorts of badly concealed laughter.

The tree line grew closer by the second but the shield had no plans of stopping any time soon. Whoda thunk that things made of vibranium had all the characteristics to be the perfect sled? Something green entered my field of vision, stopping my crazy train with a grunt.

I answered with an oof of my own. One green palm was securely wrapped around me and the other held Steve's shield. "Hello," Hulk snorted, lifting me up like I was but a feather and setting me on his shoulder. "Puny Princess, don't hurt yourself," He stated firmly as I looked down at him, intrigued by the sudden change in his speech patterns. He sounded almost human.

"Hey, Big Guy," I ruffled his hair. "Aren't you cold?"

"No," He replied, setting me onto his shoulder. Hulk appeared to be completely unaffected by the December cold in his purple shorts. I felt my rear end begin to thaw, such was the heat that he emanated from his body. Meanwhile, Hulk caught Steve's eye, preparing to hurl the shield back to the frowning Captain.

Steve caught it effortlessly while Bucky ignored the interaction whatsoever, caught up in rolling an obscenely large ball of snow a ways from the group, tongue all but hanging out in concentration. I caught myself thinking he was gonna build a snow dick instead of a man and it made me feel...

"Wanna build a snowman?" I asked my green companion, rubbing my mittens in excitement.

The Hulk pondered for a brief moment, adopting that mischievous gleem, eyes shooting to Tony and Stephen who stood regally on the side of the clearing, sipping their hot beverages like the adult men that they were supposed to be. I snorted and Hulk echoed the sound, taking quick strides to a patch of land opposite Bucky. "No," Hulk shook his head. "We build a fort. Then smash," The green bean was all but vibrating in excitement.

Realistically, I knew I was gonna get snow stuck in uncomfortable places and might even get knocked over by an overeager person with super strength. But was I gonna pass up an opportunity to show off my superior construction skills? Hell naw.

It wasn't long before Stephen and Tony wandered off to us and began to pile up snow with a resigned huff, unsuccessful in their attempts to rebuff me ordering them around. In the end, we split in three teams, snow flew everywhere and by the time the battle was in peak heat, all of us were cold, wet and red-faced.

"To the death! BLOOD AND VINEGAR!!!" I screeched, hopping up and down after a series of small rapid snowballs I threw hit their target - Steve had a face full of snow and Bucky wasn't faring much better next to him, having had let a few of them hit him in the chest because he was distracted, doubling over in laughter at Steve's indignant, red face.

"You're bloodthirsty," Tony smirked from my side, dumping a fresh batch of ammo between me and Stephen. "It's hot."

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @warrior1-19 @toomanyrobins

[moldisgoodforyou]

the fire alarm

warnings: cursing & sex - just pure smut. this is (kind of) for those of you that asked for taking control with charlie - i tried my best! 

wordcount: 2.6k

“I have a surprise for you.” Charlie mentioned offhandledly as they both laid on the bed in his room at Beta, just finishing up their studying. “Yeah? Did you bring me cookies or something?” JJ replied, glancing up from his textbook. She grinned and tugged down on the hem of her t-shirt dress. “Or something.” 

He shut the book, pushing it aside. “Is that why you’re all dressed up? Do you have a date planned?” She shook her head. “Nope.” 

“Hm.” He looked her over, trying to figure it out. “Want me to show you?” She offered as she stood, trying her best to hold back a smirk. 

“I get it that easy? Normally you make me work for this kind of thing. Whatever it is.” He leaned over and grabbed his water bottle, completely clueless. Charlie grinned and took the opportunity, pulling her dress over her head just as he took a sip. JJ choked on his water immediately. 

She wore a sheer, lacy, black bustier with a matching lace thong and gave him a little twirl, proud of his reaction. “Jesus Christ, Charlie.” JJ coughed out, his eyes trailing up and down her body. “You like it?” She had a smug smile and giggled as JJ reached out, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her down to the bed. “You’re so fucking pretty.” He murmured before meeting her in a heated kiss. “How long have you had this on?” 

“Um...since I came over? Three hours ago?” She went to unbutton his shorts straightaway, wasting no time. He leaned back slightly to pull his shirt over his head. “And we’ve just been sitting here studying?!” He exclaimed before crashing his lips back onto hers. She laughed against his lips and rolled them over so she was on top, then nipped at his lower lip with her teeth teasingly. “Kind of a waste of time, right?” 

“I can’t even - holy shit.” JJ mumbled, his hands going to her waist. “Can I take a picture of you or something? I don’t want to forget this.” She pressed open-mouthed kisses along his jawline, then sucked at a tender spot on his neck. “Absolutely not. Don’t worry, I’ll wear it again.” 

“Thank god.” He breathed out, his grip on her waist tightening.

Just as Charlie was about to slide one of the straps off her shoulders, the sound of the fire alarm rang out through the house. “Fucking hell.” JJ cursed, dropping his hands from her waist. “Is that real?” She asked as she rolled off him, crossing her arms across her chest to cover up. 

“Yes, it’s real, it’s probably some idiot pledge - god, I’m gonna kill whoever it is.” He grumbled, then grabbed a large shirt out of his closet and tossed it to her. “Put this on.” He grabbed his robe for himself, the only thing that had enough fabric to hide his obvious boner. Charlie pulled on the shirt, hesitating, then took out a pair of her shorts that she kept in his dresser and pulled those on too. 

Someone knocked on their door as they passed. “We’re coming!” JJ called back, annoyed, then took her hand and they headed outside to the parking lot with the rest of the boys. Elliott noticed them immediately - it was 11pm on a random Tuesday, and Charlie was unfortunately the only girl out in the group. “Whatcha up to, Walker?” He asked with a shit-eating grin. 

JJ flipped him off in response, wrapping both arms around Charlie from behind. “Who pulled the alarm?” Elliott shrugged. “Not sure yet. Might be real though, someone probably fucked up their microwave popcorn or some shit.” JJ groaned in response, pulling Charlie closer. 

Charlie smirked, resting her head against his shoulder and pressing her ass against his hips. “You good, Maybank?” He grit his teeth, keeping his voice low. “Don’t try it, Charlie.” She only grinned, turning to whisper in his ear. “So hard for me, baby. Are you thinking about what I have on, under your shirt? Barely covers a thing.”

He rested his forearm across her waist, pinning her in place against him. “Charlie, stop.” Elliott wandered over again. “Guess we gotta wait for the fire truck to came, typical protocol. Were you guys awake?”

“What do you fucking think?” JJ bit back, with zero patience. Elliott nodded in recognition, then laughed. “Were you - oh, damn, that’s unfortunate.” Charlie rolled her eyes. “We weren’t doing what you’re thinking. We were just about to fall asleep.”

“Yeah, sure.” He grinned, clearly not believing it. “Hey, Charlie, did Joe ever text you? This pledge, I gave him your number because he had questions about kinesiology.” She nodded, about to speak until JJ curled his fingers around her hip.

“You’re just giving out my girlfriend’s number?” He asked Elliott, frowning. “He’s just asking about my major, that’s it, J.” Charlie reassured him, slipping her hand behind her back and slowly trailing her hand down against his stomach (and further). JJ jerked his hips back, tightening his grip on her hip. “Just like Jacob was asking about the group project?” She laughed and retracted her hand. “Not quite.” 

Thomas strolled over, hands in his pockets. “Hey, Walker. Did you come over for a house tour at this fine hour?” He teased. JJ groaned. “Great, we got the whole goon squad over here. Can we just go inside?” Thomas shook his head. “Nope. President’s orders. They’re doing the fire inspection now, should be soon though.” Elliott eyed him curiously. “Why are you in such a mood, Maybank?” 

Charlie grinned, glancing up at her boyfriend - her shirt falling off her shoulder as she shifted, exposing the lacy strap of the lingerie. “Yeah, J, why are you in such a mood?” JJ clapped a hand over her shoulder to hide it, grimacing. “Just tired, is all.” 

She tilted her head up to whisper in his ear again. “You didn’t seem tired earlier. But if you really are, I guess we can just go to bed...” 

“Hell no.” He replied lowly, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. A couple firemen came outside, gesturing an all clear, and all the boys shuffled back inside in a line much too slow for JJ’s liking. 

He practically sprinted after her up the stairs, immediately locking the door shut once they got into his room. “What was up with that stunt you pulled?” He growled, trapping her against the wall.  

“Uh uh, I want to be in charge.” She argued, reaching up and grabbing his wrists. He twisted them out of her grip easily. “Not fair when you tease like that.” 

“Not everything is fair, Maybank. Sit on the bed.” She pointed, giving him a little shove. He grumbled but did so. She grinned. “I can’t take you seriously in that robe.” 

“Well are you gonna strip for me or not?” He raised his eyebrows, challenging her. “I don’t think you deserve it, with that attitude.” She shot back, crossing her arms. “C’mon, Charlie, I can’t take it.” He pleaded, shrugging off the robe. 

Charlie smirked, reaching for the door and turning the knob. “No. I think I’m gonna go get -” She was cut off with a squeal as JJ sprung from the bed and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her backward. “Don’t you fucking dare, Charlotte.” She scowled as he dropped her unceremoniously onto the bed, knowing exactly what the use of her full name meant. “Maybank.” She warned. 

“No. You took too long.” He tugged her shirt over her head, tossing it aside, then leaned down to hover on top of her. Charlie kicked off her shorts too, revealing the lingerie once again. “Let me.” She argued, trying to roll them over. “No.” He pinned her wrists to the bed in one hand above her head and she took a sharp inhale, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment. 

“Come on, JJ, play along.” She protested. “I had a plan and everything.” He laughed, trailing a finger across her collarbone. “You can never take yourself seriously when you try to be in control.” 

“I can! The fucking fire alarm ruined my plan, because you wouldn’t come to my house to study.” She complained, flinching under him as he traced his finger along the side of her bra top. “We never end up actually studying at your place.” He countered with a grin, then ducked his head down to skate his teeth along her collarbone, keeping her wrists pinned in place. 

“I study better at the library. You just get too distracted.” Charlie retorted, only for JJ to glance up with a smirk. “I wonder why.” He made a point to scan his eyes down her body. She scowled. “If you’re gonna be in control, you have to do something.” 

“With all due respect...Charlotte,” JJ started, loving the way she slightly wrinkled her nose at the name, then the way she gasped as he pinched her nipple hard. “Just shut up.” He cut off any sassy retort of hers with a deep kiss, threading his fingers through her hair. With her hands free, she wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing her hips against his. 

“So hard for me, Maybank.” She teased, running her tongue against his lips. “Think of how many times I could have come by now without the stupid fire alarm. Under you...moaning your name...” He groaned, reaching behind her to undo the bustier. He fumbled with the long clasp. “How do I get this fucking thing off?” 

Charlie grinned, amused. “I thought you liked it.” 

“Yeah, I like seeing your tits better. Sit up, I can’t figure it out.” 

She rolled her eyes and reached behind her, undoing the clasp in a couple quick pinches. “Not really in charge if I have to be the one undressing myself, hm?” She challenged, lifting her chin. 

He huffed and tossed it aside. “Watch your mouth, Charlotte.” She grinned and reached down, palming him through his boxers. “I want these off.” He nodded and pushed them down and she took advantage of the moment to push him onto his back. “Walker, I -” 

“Shh.” She replied, ducking her head down to lick a small circle on the head of his cock. “Fuck.” He hissed out, gathering her hair aside. She then took her time teasing, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses up his inner thigh, anywhere but where he really wanted it. JJ shifted uncomfortably underneath her for a moment. “Charlie, please.”  

“What was that?” She asked with a smirk, running one finger down his length. “Come on, you’re not going to make me do this.” He protested, pushing his hips up against her hand. “You make me do it. Ask for it, J.” She encouraged him with a smile. 

“Walker. Please.” 

“Please what?” 

He sighed, frustrated, before giving in. “I want to see your pretty lips on my cock.”  

“There, that wasn’t so difficult.” She grinned before taking him completely in her mouth, hearing JJ’s strangled cry out. He tugged on her hair gathered in his hand as she hollowed out her cheeks, starting to bob up and down on him. JJ pressed his head back into the pillows, a string of curses falling from his lips. “Fucking hell, Charlie.” 

“Look at me, Maybank.” She told him before going back to work on his cock, not being shy in any sense. She gripped his hips to try and pin him down as he bucked them into her mouth, mumbling a quick apology. He kept his eyes trained on her, his lips slightly parted as he panted out. “God, you’re so beautiful.” 

His breathing quickened as he neared his release. She could tell and drew her lips off of him before he could come and he groaned, tugging at her hair still in his fist. “Really?” 

Charlie smirked. “Yeah, because I can tell you’re not gonna last and I want to fuck you.” She kicked off her panties and he grabbed her wrist once they were off. “But you didn’t - I want to make you feel good.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “Then let me on top.” 

He grinned, gesturing for her to come closer. He reached over and pulled a condom out of the nightstand, rolling it down his cock. “You gonna complain about walking tomorrow?” 

She rolled her eyes - but blushed all the same. “Shut the fuck up, J.” She straddled his hips and slowly sank down on him, letting out a soft moan at the feeling. “Fuck, you feel so good.” JJ praised, hands going to grip her waist. After taking a couple seconds to adjust around him, she started slowly rocking her hips, biting her lip hard. 

“So fucking pretty, sweetheart.” He told her, thrusting up his hips to match her pace. She could hardly think enough to get out words, focusing on him instead. He reached up to roll her nipple between his fingers as she reached her hand down, rubbing slow circles on her clit. He groaned as he watched her, committing every inch of her body to memory. 

“Charlie - I’m -” he warned through pants, eyes fluttering shut as he kept jutting his hips up to meet hers. “I know.” She nodded and steadied herself with two hands on his chest to quicken her pace. It only took a few more rolls of her hips for him to come undone. “Holy shit - fuck, pretty girl.” He groaned out, his fingers digging into her hips. 

She got off him, whimpering a little at the loss of contact. “Did you..?” JJ trailed off, frowning when he realized. “No, it’s fine. Wanted to surprise you.” Charlie excused it, moving to lay down by his side. “No, wait. Come here.” He grabbed her waist, pulling her back up. 

“J, I can’t just -” 

“Sit on my face.” 

Her eyes went wide and she blushed red, hesitating. “You’re sure?” 

He grinned and hooked his hands under her thighs, pulling her forward. “Don’t be all shy now.” He teased before licking a flat stripe up her pussy, loving her moan. “So wet for me, Walker.” 

Charlie gripped the headboard for stability, slowly starting to rock against his face - he only pulled her closer as he buried his face into her cunt. “Oh - fuck, JJ, right there -” she got out through high-pitched moans. He kept tongue-fucking her, nose occasionally nudging her clit. “J, please.” Charlie whined, pushing her hips against him more. 

He lifted his head a little and took her clit between his teeth, then sucked hard. She gasped in surprise, finally feeling her orgasm wash over her. “Fuck, J!” She whined a little, hips flinching away as he continued to lap at her pussy, unable to  handle it. He slid his hands up to her waist, setting her aside with a smirk. 

She let her head fall back against the pillows, breathing hard as she came down from her high. “How have we never done that before?” He laughed and nudged her side with his elbow. “Dunno. Liked it?” 

“Liked it - JJ, I think the whole fucking house heard me.” 

He chuckled, tracing a finger across her stomach and grinned when she shied away. “As they should.” 

“It’s embarrassing.” She countered, knocking his hand away lazily. He only wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close and resting his chin in the crook of her neck. “Nah. Need the whole house to hear that you’re mine.”