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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 months ago

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among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

#another random night another Verbal Effusion of [forehead to hand]#winston billions #who needs actual questions about power or the consequences of getting to consider others Lessers & acting accordingly #when we can last minute be like uh wendy is god actually. take it away wendy (wait she just does whole other shit half the season)#okay Now take it away wendy i guess b/c the series is dead set on you being the Moral Center #if mostly b/c gosh everyone either loves owning you as pseudo wife or correctly recognizes & defers to your superiority #the scene i couldn't bear to sit through at the start of s7 way too long sequence of wendy Going To Work to the ''cuz im awesome'' song #i was like. lol. i was like okay that is wendy's mood / perspective then. Wrong. it was billions conveying Fact to the audience. rip #abt as great setup for ''the only other shoe that finally dropped was that of Yeah It's This Completely Surface Level'' as possible (:#prince has exactly the same attitudes & actions as wendy does? uh well you see. it's just bad when he does it #if only more wendys were in charge. if only we go ''well even if it's bad if wendy does it? or axe or whoever? Could Be Worse''#nothing to analyze in the [but at least it's not worse] dead end re: justification of Power Leveraging & minimization of its consequences #tl;dr just the victim blaming embraced everywhere & the idea that everything that Deviates from the Norm Too Ethically Mindedly #is just that veneer slapped on overtop of [haha but truly: the norm] like no but seriously we all know It's Not That Deep(tm)#even for the characters written to exercise this [my Extra Mile Ethics] trait regularly it's expressed as this Polite Addendum #to the [what's Really at play] normal. the And Enbies tacked on; that's that on that & it Is an extra veneer to the norm #prince asking if taylor's changing up their pronouns; no more Meant a red flag than him immediately shitting on winston i'm sure #yet yknow why tf suppose taylor more than anyone else would Change Pronouns. taylor who the series also only ever shows as being #misgendered As A Woman. whose drag / cisguise As A Woman is not treated in the same way a man's would be / is #whose emotive / expressive affect isn't either. billions like [the genders are m/f] to [perhaps also amab/afab] Tacked On #as something politely Extra you do to their face that doesn't actually change (threaten) your idea of what's just Normal & True #like it's normal & true that ugh god don't you hate the autistic people around you? don't you wish you could go sicko mode on them #so that they couldn't be around you anymore & they'd have brought it upon themself & really it was good of you b/c The Group Cohesion #thanks you & b/c you just gave them free ABA? yes yep Surely Unquestionably #problem isn't abuse & concomitant violation in & of itself. it's Bad to be someone that's done to. we will announce Exceptions #rest of you either you brought it upon yourself or you failed to Correct that you're not someone who inherently deserves it #that is: someone who just can & will Stop It if done to them. well so you see winston pushing back is ignored or treated to further #backlash & then he withdraws (expression of his experience / creation of a consequence which tells the other Stop Doing This)#&/or otherwise conveys displeasure / being hurt (same as before. ''uh well push back / express xyz'' ppl did & were steamrolled/ignored)

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sysig · 1 year ago

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Requestober 2023 Sketches

The playlist has returned for this year! There will be a few in between, but it should be updating at least once a week on either Wednesday or Friday or both - keep an eye out for your req(s)!

Day 4 got some subtle Black Eye, they are a great pair ♪ You can see I couldn’t fully decide on posing - this will be a theme lol - maybe Sylvia loafing and poking her nose up at Peepers? Or just man-handling him into a snuggle lol, I almost went with that one! But I still ended up going with the first sketch after all, his half-squinted eye was too cute to pass up!

Day 6′s first sketch was also a first-try-correct but lemme try something else lol, I’m glad I went with this one though! Friend looks very fluffy, as does Ghostbur <3 Thank goodness for digital cleaning, Phil’s arm completely confounded me traditionally lol, same with the wings actually

The alt is still cute tho, and sad :’) Ghostbur would still consider Phil his dad! And yes he’s not exactly Will, Phil’s kid ahh </3 And yet he still gets to hug him!! The piece of him that remembers him! It hurts ♥

Day 10 was a great excuse to draw blood lol, I can’t not ♪ I ran out of room since this was the last sketch of the page so while I fully intended for the bloody knife to be continuous with the rest of him, I had to puzzle-piece it all together haha ♫ He’s so scribbly lol

Day 15 was so fun!! Ahhh!! As I mentioned in the tags, I got the notification for this one while I was offline and dozing but even in that state of mind, this was the image that immediately bloomed in my head! I am so pleased I got to make it exactly as intended haha ♪ They’re so cute <3 And it’s always fun to draw Mitsu reacting like “O//o//O” even just in emoji form lol

Day 16′s was fun and silly - I only ended up with the one sketch, it’s been too long since I’ve drawn a Core! It hasn’t been all that long since I’ve watched a Meet the Cores but it has been long while since I’ve picked up Portal 2 or Mel, it’s too bad ‘cause they’re both so cute haha. But I mean, all this Portal stuff has inspired me to get back to playing so hmmm :3c

Day 17 had those two options but for me it wasn’t even a question lol - I do of course love RGB but I’ve made a habit of drawing him! And I did get to draw him later as well, so I got all the character diversity I could ask for haha. I’m so sad that I missed out on the “tk” SFX in the final version, I made it and then just forgot to turn the layer back on before exporting lol, just hear it in your head if you would ♪

Day 18, more blood! Moreeee! Thank you for all the Yanderapy attention this year ahhh, it’s so gratifying to know these boys are being enjoyed ♥ I love them too! And it was doubly fun to imagine them playing into their baser urges, yandere-wise haha ♪ What’s the fun of a yandere if they can’t have a little blood, as a treat? Hehe ♫ Mitsuru’s swirly eyes are one of my favourite yandere features of his, drawing it in full swing was really fun :D

Day 19, a bit of Ranboo ♥ It’s been long enough that I’d forgotten how much I enjoy Ranboo! c!Ranboo as well as The Guy haha, they’ve gotten more chaotic lately it seems, good for them. He’s also still quite fun to draw, that’s just good character design for you ♪ A cute little squished face, wanting to go out and play. You can kinda tell from the flower boxes that even traditionally I wasn’t all that detail-oriented for this one lol

Day 20 got a lot of concept art! Making new outfits will do that lol, started with just deciding what their sweets theme would be - Mitsuru was so obviously ube and buttercream that it hurts lol, and you can see there was a bit more deliberation with Ishida. Salted lemon, and he was supposed to keep the lattice motif - we’ll get there :P

Outfit designing! Ishida’s was a OHKO - you can’t see it in the final version since he’s angled away but his buttons are salt stones! And he’s also got asymmetrical salt “freckles” around his left eye :) Mitsu’s was a little over-complicated so he needed a second pass

But only a second pass! A chunky sweater with the swirls was absolutely the correct choice, and then since zippers don’t exist in the JD universe (lol) he gets buttons!

Finally they got their final version! You can see from the sliced version that originally they were meant to have three sections apiece for both limbs, buuut that ended up being overly visually busy, so I gave them two for their arms and three for their legs :) All the other posing and everything was pretty much perfect though! :D

This is the most correct version of their clothes for their cut-up frame; I was in a bit of a rush for the gif version so a few elements are missing, like Ishida’s aforementioned lattice design element :’D Just try to not look too hard at the final version for these details specifically lol ♪ Oh the foibles of trying to be speedy!

Technically not Requestober but I was inspired by my own idea of them switch-stitching their limbs back together lol - lemon ube?? I guess that might work...

Day 21 got a concept sketch before starting - Luci’s glares are very cute hehe ♪ I was sure I could push it cuter tho >:3c

And I was right! I called this an alt but honestly this was the correct choice from the beginning lol ♪ Long ears are so fun to pose, extra expressions! I had a bit of trouble with his arms, but I think that’s just a me-not-knowing-how-to-draw-arms-lately thing lol

Day 22 was also very close to the end of the page so I was a bit cramped! Their faces are definitely the most important element - especially considering RGeeBs has one here! - so I wanted to give them a bit of extra attention. I really like his sharp nose hehe ♪ And Hero’s hand doing the classic cartoony pinky-up with her white gloves ugh it’s so cute <3

They did get a very tiny fullbody sketch tho haha ♪ For how it turned out here, I’m doubly happy with RGB’s pose in the final! Especially his legs :D

Speaking of tiny, day 24 was super tiny!! I always draw the stick figures tiny tho haha, they’re such cute little pops of colour on my page :) I’m glad as well that I could make all the colours clean digitally - the colours got a bit mixed traditionally lol

Fun fact: Day 25 didn’t get a traditional sketch! It’d been too long since I’d drawn GLaDOS so I felt a little better to just have the references right there in the same canvas lol. My initial digital sketches are always a bit chaotic, lots of very energetic lines! It does make me all the more determined to make her design readable in my style >:3c

I started forgetting to label what day they were around day 26 haha, but I started with them side-by-side - I wanted them to show off their outfits a bit more but it felt a little stiff :P Obviously Sinister would be uncomfortable in heavier clothes tho, so I went with that thought ♪ Poor Stanley haha

The alt ended up taking it since interacting is way more fun than not! I haven’t drawn Stanley using sign language in a hot minute which is too bad! It’s very fun to do! He’s not going to listen to you Stanley, no matter what you do

Day 28 gave me a bunch of thoughts but since it was fairly open-ended, I wasn’t sure where to take it at first! Angst just has so many possible roads! Initially, featured here, I considered them getting caught - them in a police light was a very cool concept for my lighting-focused brain this season haha - but it still wasn’t quite right. Maybe because Ishida actually looks stressed, noo D:

The plot just kinda picked up from there, the idea of Ishida killing Mitsuru since they were caught, and then what I eventually ended up with - all while trying to fight against limited space and a not-the-best art day, just gotta keep powering through despite the obstacles!

But I did finally land on the idea I wanted the most :) Originally this one was going to have two panels but I couldn’t make it look right, switching back and forth between them :P I’m glad I finally got to it in the end! It was a struggle haha

Day 29 got Fellplates!Gaster! Heck yeah! :D It’s been a while since I’ve drawn him so I had to get back into the swing of it lol - I actually booted him on “April 1st” by changing my clock and then my internet refused to connect to certain sites?? What the heck is that about. Well either way, I got him! He is cute haha

I really was tempted to give him something to do with other Fellplates members, but the lack of references confounded me! Ah! You can probably tell which one was meant to be Alphys huh lol ♪ Him and his sense of loyalty ah 💔 Well, self-destruction is a common ley line for him huh haha

And then what I finally ended up with ♪ He has a slightly more open expression here, but I do like the somewhat sinister edge the final version ended up with :3c The backlighting begged for it!! And everyone needs cool backlighting haha

Day 30′s TSP/Portal crossover!! It’s such a classic idea, I am actually honestly surprised that this is my first foray into it - I’ve thought about it forever! I’ve drawn them adjacently! But this is my first time actually drawing them interacting?? How?? Well I’m glad I have now haha, they’re so- they’re just so them, y’know? Lol

Y’get a bonus because the idea of Stanley and Chell just kinda vibing in a test chamber and Stanley reacting - which you can see the barest of unfinished sketch there on the right lol - to having his Bucket taken from him, it was too good not to haha. Chell is indifferent lol

Day 31, last day! I actually drew this the night beforehand, very quickly thus the scribbliness haha. Sometimes that’s all you need, just to get the image out! You can see with the SFX, despite being noiseless in the final version, I was thinking of the static right away :) I’m quite happy with how it all turned out hehe <3

That’s all the general sketches from this year! A good solid mix of things! Very fun :D

#Doodles #Requestober #Blood #The usual tag roundup except it's all in one tag lol - Wander Over Yonder - DSMP - lots of Yanderapy thank you <3 - several of Portal -#A few TPoH - technically some Just Desserts - Animation vs. - The Stanley Parable - and Undertale! Specifically Fellplates haha #A very fun lineup! A well-mixed bag of enjoy :D #There's also a couple digital additions here hehe ♪ It's unusual but needed this year!#I'm not usually one to go back in and edit something after the fact (noticeably - I did actually do that at least once last year lol)#But with this one ahh I was silly on colouring :P I was too hasty!#That said I do still - for the most part - believe in setting down and doing better next time haha ♪#This is more for my own sake in the future in case I come back and look at it and be like ''Ah this version is correct'' but it's not! Haha #As for the rest it's all the usual :D #I have to say thank you again because that's how big I feel it haha - thank you for all the love towards my Yanderapy boys!!#It makes me very happy to see them being enjoyed :D I love them so I'm happy happy that they're getting love from others too! <3 #I got to draw a lot of favourites this year :) I always love when that happens!#And y'all inspired me to get back into Portal hehe ♪ Thank you! It's been fun replaying it so far :D #In fact I think I'm gonna go try and beat it today hehe ♫ I think I've earned it haha

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star-sim · 7 months ago

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espresso ☆ sunoo kim

☆ super mega down bad!sunoo x fem! reader ☆ summary: that one time sunoo had a not-so innocent dream about you, and suddenly you're the only thing that consumed all of his senses. the problem? you're the most popular girl at the academy, and he's just a nerd. driven mad by his feelings for you, it felt like his chances with you were next to zero. it's actually much higher than he thought! ☆ genre: dark academia! au, classic popular girl x nerd, a looooot of romantic and sexual frustration LOL, a bit of nerdy lingo , loser and desperate sunoo!! ☆ warning(s)? slightly suggestive, but mostly just pure silliness and fluff :3 ☆ word count: 9.5k ☆ happy belated birthday to sunoo! the sunoo fic disparity is criminal. this is for you @ashtxrie. inspired "espresso" by sabrina carpenter. i hope i did mintchoco king justice. enjoy!

Ugh.

Popular kids.

Sunoo narrowed his eyes, clutching his textbooks even closer to his chest as he walked past the hoard of snobby rich kids. Their expensive pearl necklaces and diamond rings gleamed under the warm hallway lights, but no golden jewelry would take away how downright obnoxious they were.

"How could anyone be so loud right now?" Sunoo grumbled under his breath, pushing up his thin golden-framed glasses. Seriously though, he had a point. There was no reason for anyone at all to be screaming at the top of their lungs at 10 in the morning. But alas, here he was, rolling his eyes at the stuck-up rich kids.

The Academy had a pretty simple admissions system. Either you pay to get in, or you apply and get evaluated based on your application. Most of the students at the Academy were from wealthy families, so they obviously paid to be admitted. Sunoo, on the other hand, had more humbler origins.

To say that he worked his utmost ass off to even be able to apply was an understatement. It was almost patronizing to see all of these kids born with a silver spoon in their mouth act so carelessly.

They all acted so condescendingly, as if they didn't get admitted because of their father's paycheck.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" A new voice interrupted Sunoo's thoughts. It was his younger friend Riki, who threw an arm around his shoulder.

"Nothing," Sunoo murmured, tearing his eyes away from the group of popular kids.

All of them were the same. All arrogant, all pompous, all vain, all—

"Are you sure?" his other friend, Jungwon, joined. "You look a little bit—err— disturbed."

"I'm not."

Riki and Jungwon shared a look.

Okay, maybe not all rich kids were the same.

Because there were a few exceptions, such as—

"Are you still mad about that one time that snobby little Sanghyeok threw a ball at you?" Riki asked, blinking owlishly.

"No, what are you—"

"He's a rugby player, isn't he?" Jungwon thought aloud. "Geez, all the rugby players love tossing that goddamn football around, don't they?"

"Erm, actually, it's called a rugby ball," Riki corrected in a nasally voice.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. Why would anyone throw those around? It's like a ball of concrete!"

Sunoo tuned his younger friends' bickering out. He'll admit it, he's just a little bit of a hater.

Among the snobby rich kids, there's definitely a few exceptions. Jay Park was a pretty cool guy, and so was Jake Sim. Sunoo could've sworn that there's one more person that he didn't mind too much... He just couldn't remember who....

"Watch out!"

It happened so quickly, because one moment Sunoo was lost in thought. And the next, a rugby ball was hurling at him, pummeling him square in the head.

Not again, was the last thing he thought of before he fell to the ground, blacking out.

"Aw man, you hit the nerd again?!"

"Hey, I didn't mean to— Ack!"

Sunoo stirred. It was weird. He could feel himself gain consciousness, but his head and body were pounding. Excruciatingly.

He could hear a little bit of arguing and a few masculine voices, all muffled yet somehow also painful to his ears.

"Quiet down," a new voice entered. It was a voice that Sunoo recognized, a voice that was much kinder and softer on his ears, almost healing. "If you keep yelling, you'll overwhelm him."

Whose voice was this? Sunoo knows that he knows this voice, but he couldn't quite put his finger on who.

Then, Sunoo felt a few gentle fingers run through his hair, and then a cold, ice compress pressed on his forehead.

"Just leave," the voice told the others. "Get to class. I'll take care of him."

There's some murmuring, and then some shuffling, and finally, the door slammed shut.

And the moment that it did, Sunoo's eyes shot open.

The first thing that he's met with as full consciousness pervades his body is a sharp pain everywhere, much more amplified and extreme this time.

The second thing that Sunoo sees is... you.

Of course, that makes sense now. You were the voice, and you were the person he was thinking about earlier. You were one of the exceptions to his "all rich kids are annoying" gag.

Of course you were.

Everyone knew you, and everyone loved you. Who wouldn't?

You were incredibly sweet, had a knack for calling everyone with affectionate nicknames, and every reason why Sunoo couldn't bring himself to hate everyone in the popular crowd. He's had a few classes with you in the past few years. You weren't the top student or academically driven by any means, but he could sense your effort.

Not to mention, you were really pretty. It was no secret that every single guy in school wanted a chance with you. Sunoo wasn't like that, but he wasn't going to sit there and deny that your face was nice to look at. Truthfully, it was difficult to not like you, one way or another.

In total, Sunoo's spoken to you a total of probably four times. Nevertheless, you were a lot more than just tolerable, compared to the rest of your peers.

Now Sunoo was in the infirmary, after that rugby ball smacked him right in the head and knocked him out. He was lying down on the gurney, a cold compress to his head. And you were taking care of him.

"You're up, sweetheart," you said softly, jumping to your feet once you realized that Sunoo was awake. You handed him his glasses that were folded neatly on the table, and then you went to the shelves. Sunoo attempted to raise himself up to sit, but almost immediately he was met with that horrible, aching pain again.

"Aghh!" he groaned, dropping himself instantly and clutching onto the ice pack on his head.

You hissed, scurrying over to his side.

"Don't move," you instructed him. Sunoo got a good look at your face now. Pretty, as always, but you had a pinched expression. You looked frustrated, and as you unfurled the bundle of bandages that you fetched from the shelf, your eyes traveled to him and almost looked apologetic. "Let's get you fixed up, sweetie."

Very gently, almost as if you were dealing with glass, you lifted Sunoo's head just enough so that you could wrap bandages around his forehead.

"Is that okay?" you asked him quietly, your nimble fingers brushing against his skin gently.

"Mmm—" Sunoo was cut off by a guttural sound in his throat— "Mhm."

You pushed his dark locks out of the way, humming.

While you worked on him, Sunoo couldn't help but notice how.... concerned you looked. As a matter of fact, where were the rest of your friends? Where was that bastard Sanghyeok that threw the damn rugby ball at him in the first place?

It wasn't like you were a student nurse or anything. Aside from just being a nice person, what reason did you have to go out of your way to fix Sunoo up? It wasn't like you were the one that threw the ball.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, your brows furrowing together. Something was on your mind.

"I'm sorry," you finally blurted, your eyes wide and nearly glassy.

???

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry that Sanghyeok threw that ball at you," you continued, words spilling from your glossy lips like a waterfall, your eyes trained onto the floor and your head hung low. As words tumbled out, you stopped your ministrations on him, your hands taking solace on the hem of your uniform skirt. "I-It was very wrong of him, and it's even worse that you're now injured, and—"

"Why are you apologizing?" Sunoo interrupted you, though with labored breaths between his words, as he didn't want to hurt himself.

You frowned even harder, your fingers wringing each other. "B-But—"

Sunoo's face scrunched. "You didn't throw the ball at me. Sanghyeok did, so there's no reason for you to say sorry to me."

You shook your head.

"Still!" you huffed, your cheeks filling with air as you tapped your foot. You let out an exasperated breath. It smelled of coffee. "I know that it's not my fault, but— but that doesn't make what happened right."

Sunoo opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, beginning your ministrations once again. "I'm just doing what's right."

By the end of the school day, Sunoo got out of the nurse's office, just slightly stumbling. His head still hurt, but thanks to you, who missed a few classes, it hurt a lot less than it should have. Once again, you proved that you weren't as bad as the rest.

If it was any other day, Sunoo would go to the library to fit in a few hours of studying, but after today's events, he just wanted to go back to his dorm.

It's been a long, stressful, and painful day.

The moment that Sunoo's dorm door shut, he made a bee-line for his bed, completely ignoring his roommate Sunghoon. He threw off his uniform shirt and tie, peeling them off like they were some nuisance.

And just like that, the second that Sunoo's head hit the pillow, he knocked out.

Sunoo opened his eyes and he was in a bed. Not his own bed, but a softer, much more comfortable bed.

He felt a warm—really warm— almost fuzzy, feeling in his chest. Sunoo's hands feel around the bed. The sheets are smooth and clean, and under his fingertips they wrinkle ever-so slightly. Now that he was looking around, it seemed to be early morning, with rays of sunlight peeking through the windows. In fact, this dorm room wasn't his. It smelled of espresso coffee, and was so pristine and neat.

Sunoo didn't notice it now, but all the pain he was supposed to be feeling disappeared. And just as he was about to get up to his feet to inspect, someone appeared at the doorway.

You.

"You're up, sleepyhead?" you said, leaning on the doorway as a sly smile spread across your face.

Why was he in your room?

And more importantly, why were you in only a bathrobe?

Sunoo looked down, and that's when he realized that he, too, was shirtless.

Instead of responding how he'd want to— confused out of his mind— words tumbled out of his lips, almost like he had no control over them. "I was waiting for you."

You giggled, pretty sounds falling from your pretty lips. You slowly sauntered over to the foot of your bed, your gentle hands coming down to brush against Sunoo's leg.

"You look so handsome, sweetheart," you rasped. The warmth and fuzziness that he felt earlier began to spread from his chest to his entire body.

And the next thing that Sunoo knew, you were on top of him. Your lips pressed wet kisses all over his bare chest. Sticky gloss clung to his flushed skin, leaving pretty lipstick marks across his skin.

"God, I want you so bad," you groaned, before taking his skin between your teeth. You sucked on it gently, earning a gasp from the boy. You giggled into his ear.

By now, Sunoo was burning up completely. Each graze of your lips was like a scorching hot iron piercing his skin, but it burned so good. If it weren't for his fingers that dug into the crisp bed sheets, or the way that you gripped his chin, Sunoo would have fainted already. Each gasp for air as you marked his soft skin was ripped from his throat, hot lines of electricity running through his veins.

"Please..." Sunoo pleaded through a strangled whimper, letting out a soft moan when you bit onto his ear, your warm breath brushing up against his skin in a way that made him shudder. "Please, [Name]."

Everything before had a haze over it, a blurry screentone cast over Sunoo's eyes.

But as you looked up at him through your pretty eyelashes, lips swollen from abusing his skin, Sunoo swore that he could see everything so clearly. Every line on your face, every shadow and every highlight, every blemish and every perfection— he could see all of it.

"Please, what?" you murmured, your lips spreading into a grin. "What are you begging for, sweetheart?"

And it drove him crazy.

Sunoo threw his head back, an airy moan tumbling from his lips, giving you better access to his neck.

"I need you," he whined, his chest heaving up and down as he failed to catch his breath. "Please, I need you so bad."

You giggled again, pressing a hand against his chest.

"Anything you want you get—"

Beep beep! That was an eerily familiar alarm sound, one that was familiar enough to make Sunoo's head whip around.

You looked unfazed, only giggling again before leaning in to press soft kisses on his chest.

Beep beep!

There it was again! This time, Sunoo's body jerked at the sound, his face scrunching. Why weren't you reacting?

"Focus on me, sweetie," you whispered in his ear.

Sunoo complied (because of course he did), closing his eyes as you pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. And just as he was beginning to forget that godforsaken sound, sinking into the sweet taste of your lips...

Beep beep!

Sunoo couldn't help the way that he jerked away from you.

And as he did, Sunoo jerked awake.

His eyes shot open.

Dark room, completely drenched in sweat, burning up, and unfortunately alone.

"I swear, you always look like someone pissed you off."

"Right? He always looks so... constipated?"

On most days, Sunoo could endure his friends' teasing. Not this morning though.

He woke up from that dream completely disoriented. With his hair disheveled and face flushed, Sunoo arose from his slumber with beads of sweat running down his temple. It took him four more rings of his alarm clock and his roommate yelling at him to truly regain his consciousness— for while he was physically awake, he wasn't truly awake. Not after a dream like that.

Sunoo told everyone so far that he woke up with a fever, which was true. His cheeks were bright red, and his skin was hot to the touch, as he was bundled up in a few layers of coats.

Truthfully, his physical condition wasn't what was causing him to be so disoriented.

It was you.

What the fuck was that dream?

Usually, Sunoo couldn't remember his dreams, even if they were fever dreams. But now sitting in the dining hall, nibbling on his breakfast, Sunoo could remember every little thing so clearly in his mind.

He could remember how your room looked, how your bathrobe made your skin look so beautiful, how your plump lips felt against his chest, how fucking gorgeous you look—

Clank!

Sunoo dropped his fork onto the table, the metal cutlery clanking with the porcelain plates around him.

"What's up with him?" Jungwon not-so-quietly whispered to Riki. The two watched, perplexed, as Sunoo's cheeks turned even more red, the older boy's tired eyes squeezing shut as he hid his face in his palms.

Sunoo groaned, looking through his palms to look at his friends' confused expressions.

He felt hot. Maybe it was the fever.

He looked down at his palms, the reddy patches sticky with a thin sheen of sweat.

Definitely not just the fever.

He couldn't get your voice out of his head.

It was well-known that you liked to call everyone a nickname of sorts. It seemed like his nickname was "sweetheart."

Sunoo knew it was innocent, especially when you were fixing him up yesterday. But now with a new context—the context of his not-so innocent dream where you rasped "sweetheart" into his ear— he couldn't help but feel shy.

Sunoo's chest heaved. His tweed coat felt too thick now. His fingertips were held together by threads, and if he wasn't careful, he'd burst with blazing plasma.

Tuning out his friends, Sunoo couldn't stop his mind from drifting back to last night's dream.

He'd absolutely combust if he saw you again. Sunoo had no idea how he'd even look you in the eye, after doing unthinkable things with you in his dream.

God, there was no way that he'd ever let anyone, let alone you, find out about this. He felt like some pervert, some sick creep using you to fuel his nasty fantasies. He was not, but he sure felt like it.

Sunoo didn't dare look anywhere except down at his plate. If he did, he feared that he would catch sight of you, and completely die. As a matter of fact, even hearing the names of your friends in passing made his stomach do flips.

The school bell rang, and now Sunoo had to drag himself to class. Murmuring a small good-bye to his friends, his heavy footsteps took him where his first period morning class would be.

Gosh, he fell asleep almost immediately last night! Quick, was there homework that he was supposed to complete? His morning class started with his elective, botany.

Botany, botany, botany, he repeated in his head, jotting his memory. There weren't any notes due until the end of the week, and the closest test from today is two weeks. So why did he feel like he was missing something? Was there a presentation that he didn't remember? Maybe they were having a lab today and he forgot to bring his gloves. Or maybe—

Sunoo stopped in his tracks.

Just as he was cooling down, he felt his skin erupt with goosebumps, warmth overtaking his entire body.

If it weren't for his acute awareness of his surroundings, Sunoo would have tripped over his feet.

Because you decided to appear.

Oh fuck, why were you right there? Standing across the hall from him, all prettied up and completely oblivious to the hell that you were putting Sunoo through.

Had you always looked so pretty?

Of course, Sunoo recalled how perfect your face looked at all times, how jaw-dropping you managed to look even when you didn't try. The way that the light reflected off your skin made you look like you were glowing. Like a halo.

Sunoo's face burned. You definitely looked prettier in real life than in his dream. Not even the intricate workings of his brain could capture your beauty.

A strangled noise escaped Sunoo's throat, his face turning as white as a ghost, eyes big as saucers.

No, no, no! Sunoo squeezed his eyes shut. Of course. He had morning Botany with you! How could he forget!

"Move, you nerd!" someone grumbled as they shoved past him. Usually, on any other day, Sunoo would cuss back at them, maybe shove past them even harder. But all he could do now was stand back dazed.

He forced himself to pick up his feet again. After all, class was starting, and the bell would ring in a matter of minutes.

What was harder than pulling himself out of his daze was walking into that Botany lecture hall. Sunoo didn't dare look anywhere that wasn't his shoes, in fear that if he even caught a glimpse of you, he'd evaporate.

With quick, hasty steps, Sunoo scurried along the sides of the hall, ignoring the little hi's and good morning's from his classmates.

And just as he thought he successfully made it to his seat...

"Good morning, Kim!"

To say that Sunoo nearly jumped out of his skin would be an understatement.

As you appeared before his seat, seemingly out of thin air, Sunoo felt every inch of his body flare up with warmth.

You looked even better up-close.

"Oh— Uh—" Sunoo couldn't help the way he stared at you with wide eyes, his lips agape.

"Good— Um, Good morning, [N-Name]," was all he could manage out.

You stared at him for a few moments, blinking a few times, before a wide smile broke out on your lips.

You reached out, your hand resting gently on the crown of his head, completely oblivious to the way that the boy tensed under your touch. "How does your head feel, sweetheart?"

Sunoo completely forgot that he'd sustained a head injury earlier. How could he remember when something (or someone) else was making his head hurt?

"I-It's good!" he stammered quickly, words tripping over themselves. "I'm good!"

You cocked your head, your brows furrowing.

"No one picked on you, right?" you looked around, leaning closer to him— close enough that he could feel your breath on his neck. "Did any of my friends try bothering you again?"

Sunoo flushed at the proximity. This was feeling a little too familiar.

"No!" Sunoo nearly shouted. When everyone turned to look at him weirdly, the room falling silent for a mere second, he muttered a quick sorry. "I mean— No, n-no one bothered me again."

You nodded slowly, before you brought your hand to his forehead. "You're feeling a little warm, sweetie. You aren't sick, aren't you?"

If he had less self-awareness, Sunoo would have run around that lecture hall a few times, dunked his face in a bucket of iced water, and maybe even screamed a few times before answering your question. But he couldn't, so all he could do was shake his head no.

"Good," you said with a smile. "I'll see you around."

With that, you turned on your heel, and went back to your seat.

Class started, but Sunoo couldn't quite focus.

Sunoo felt like this had to be some joke. It felt like Jungwon or Riki were about to come out behind the curtains and scream "Gotcha!" in his face.

Because why on earth were you and him on the same path to the boys' dormitory?

After his daily study session in the library, Sunoo figured that the chances of him running into you again would be low.

But lo and behold, as Sunoo was on his way back to his dorm, you materialized from thin air and started walking with him. In silence, of course, but you greeted him with a smile.

Even after 10 hours of being out and about, you still managed to look so perfect.

In all the years that he'd attended this Academy, Sunoo's never seen you take this route, let alone go to the boys' dormitory.

Did you have a boyfriend? Or a special relationship with a boy? Sunoo's stomach dropped. What if he's been thinking about you all this time when you were taken already?

Sunoo opened his mouth to talk, but you beat him to it.

"Sooo, Sunoo," you said in a dreamy, sing-songy voice. "How's your day been?"

Torture, because of you. "I-It's been okay."

You hummed. "That's good to hear."

Silence.

It wasn't like he was in love with you. But for some reason, it bothered Sunoo that you could be heading to the boys' dorm for a possible boyfriend. He just needed to know.

"Where are you— Where are you headed?" Sunoo winced at his question. You probably thought he was weird now. He felt hot all over.

You smiled, clicking your tongue with a playful eye roll. "Just to my cousin's dorm. He just transferred here so my parents want me to help him move in."

Sunoo blinked.

Oh.

"Th-That's nice," Sunoo quipped. "I'm just going back to my— uh— dorm."

Of course he'd be going back to his own dorm! Sunoo chided in his head. You definitely thought he was an idiot by now.

The trip up the stairs and down the hall was quiet, awfully silent— only the distant sound of students and footsteps filling the air.

Eventually, the two of you met a stop.

"I should be turning at this corner now; his room is just down that hall," you said to him, earning a nod. "Thanks for walking with me, Sunoo."

"Of course," Sunoo said back shyly, a small smile on his lips. " 'It's my pleasure."

"No seriously," you continued, a bashful smile on your lips. "The halls during this time of year are a little sketchy. Sometimes, I can't even trust my own guy friends to walk me."

Sunoo cocked his head.

"The point is," you said, your eyes unwavering as they met with Sunoo's eyes, "You make me feel safe."

Before Sunoo could respond, you shot him a kind smile, before turning on your heel. "Good night, sweetheart!"

Sunoo was rendered speechless, staring at your retreating back.

"Good night," he muttered under his breath, not audible even to himself. "Sweetheart."

(He definitely thought about this interaction later into the night, and burned up severely.)

Although no one would guess it, the next few weeks were hell for Sunoo. It was almost terrifying.

How did you manage to show up everywhere?

Truly, it felt like everywhere Sunoo went, you just happened to show up.

It started with little things. In the middle of class you would come in to give back a sweater you borrowed from your friend. Sometimes you would come in and sit at the back of class to make up a test that you missed, or to ask the professor any question you had about the upcoming assignment. Each time, you'd wave at Sunoo, sometimes even before you waved at your friends.

All normal, of course. Every time he'd see you, he'd immediately straighten his back to make sure his posture was perfect— maybe even brush his hair out of his eyes and adjust his glasses, all in the hopes that if you looked at him, he wouldn't be a pain to view.

All as if he wasn't screaming on the inside. There was just something about how you always had that dreamy look in your eye, like a princess. How could he possibly look you in the eye?

Sunoo wanted to look perfect and pristine for you, but at the same time, he wanted to disappear under your gaze. Sometimes, he wanted to disappear because he simply couldn't handle the power that your eyes had. Other times he wanted to disappear so that he could look at you— observe every line, perfection, and imperfection of your face— without the existence of others around him.

No matter the time, one thing was common: Sunoo always turned four shades redder whenever you walked into the room. And it was frustrating.

"Why are you red?"

"You look embarrassed. Did you fart or something?"

"Tomato boy."

It was embarrassing, especially because his seatmates always ended up being the biggest assholes anyway.

Then, you began waving to him in the hallway. It started with small waves, sometimes with you mouthing hi or hello. But then you'd sometimes run up to him with a wide smile just to say hi.

Maybe you were just really nice, Sunoo thought, though he'd be lying if he said that he didn't wish you were giving him special treatment. In fact, it made him feel sick just thinking about how you called your friends cute pet names like darling, too. He almost had to excuse himself to the washroom when thinking about you calling other people sweetheart. You were bound to, of course, but that didn't mean that Sunoo particularly liked that idea.

All of these were small little things, pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, especially considering that you were the most popular girl in school.

But then it started getting bad.

And it wasn't your fault.

Why— just why— did you have to be in every single one of his dreams?

The first dream he had about you was already enough. Why did he need a bajillion more?

The dreams ranged from extremely mundane to scary to a bit... raunchy. And yet, you still managed to be in every single one of them.

In the mundane ones, you'd be the person that mutters a remark to him before disappearing.

In the scary ones, you'd be the person that Sun threw over his shoulder as he ran away from the undead.

In the raunchy ones, you'd be under him, your arms thrown around his neck as he lays wet kisses on your skin, basking in the pretty sounds that you make— Too much!

He couldn't help it. He really couldn't.

There were times where Sunoo was afraid to go to sleep. Not because seeing you was a bad thing, but because the aftermath was always bad.

Sunoo always woke up sweaty and burning up. He'd trudge to the shared bathroom and splash water on his face. No matter how cold the water was, whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was your face. Your pretty, pretty, face. You seemed to get prettier with every dream, yet dream-you couldn't ever compare to real life-you.

Seeing your face wasn't the problem. He loved to see it. The problem was that every time he saw your face Sunoo would get all clammy and mushy and warm on the inside. His cheeks would burn, and he'd feel warm all over.

And the hardest part was that every single time, all he could hear was your voice calling him "sweetheart" — over and over, in a hypnotizing cadence that only made him want to fall into your essence even more.

It was weird.

So, so, weird.

And Sunoo thought that he was going to die.

It seemed like Sunoo was always in for a surprise.

By the end of the month, Sunoo managed to convince himself to forget about his dreams completely.

After all, after a few days of doing his best to avoid you, he was able to assure himself that all of these feelings would disappear with time, since his attraction to you was random anyway.

Sure, you're pretty, Sunoo told himself. And very kind and sweet, but it wasn't like you and him were best buds. So whatever delusion that was going on in his head was bound to go nowhere. He was just being a teenager, probably.

He'd never felt this way towards anyone before. It was best to just ignore it.

Sunoo clenched his fists. Yeah, he'd do his damn best to ignore it.

But as he was in line in the Academy's library, preparing to check out a new book about whatever topic he wanted to read up on, Sunoo felt a pair of hands clutch his shoulders.

"Hi, Sunoo!"

Sunoo whipped his head around and jolted, a small "Ah!" leaving his lips. Startled, he nearly dropped his massive hunk of a book, earning a glare from the snobby student-librarians.

It was you.

The moment that he laid eyes on you and your silly little grin, Sunoo's resolve weakened. Like walls of a fortified castle crumbling under the force of a cannon, if Sunoo didn't look away now he'd be absolutely beat.

"H— Hey there, [Name]," he said quietly, tearing his eyes away from you and turning back to the front, holding his book close to his chest.

"Whatcha got there?" you asked him curiously. He could still feel your hands on his shoulders squeezing him playfully.

Sunoo looked down at his book.

Thematic Cartography and Geovisualization?

Oh god, you were definitely going to think he was a nerd.

"Nothing..." he murmured, clutching the book even closer to him.

You shook him by his shoulders playfully, a little chuckle coming from your lips. "Oh, c'mon! I know that massive book isn't just 'nothing.' What're you reading?"

"It's..." Sunoo winced. "It's embarrassing."

You pouted, a little hmph! coming from you.

"Next!" the librarian called, and Sunoo moved forward in the line to check out his book, though he was distracted by the way that you still continued to cling to him.

"You didn't— You didn't get a book?" Sunoo asked as you followed him to a library table, your hands empty.

"Nope," you said smoothly. "I'm just here to study!"

"Oh." Sunoo blinked, pushing up his glasses. It was quiet and he didn't know what to say. "What are you studying?"

"I'll tell you," you smiled, "Only if you tell me what your book is about."

He sighed. Sunoo sat down, and naturally, you followed suit, sitting across from him. He plopped his massive book down onto the table, and slowly slid it over to you.

Your brows furrowed together as you read its title.

Sunoo's cheeks burned. You definitely think he's some nerd. How embarrassing.

You finally looked up at him. Only, instead of looking at him with condescension or ridicule, you looked embarrassed.

"Um," your brows knitted together further. "What's cartography?"

Sunoo stared at you. You don't think he's weird?"

"I-I'm sorry," you continued, letting out a deep breath. You looked perplexed. "I'm not very smart. I don't know what cartography is. Or what geo-something-something is. Can you explain it to me?"

He stared at you again.

After what you just said, there was no way that he'd possibly let his feelings for you fade away. There were a lot of things that Sunoo couldn't agree with when it came to the popular kids at his school. But here he understood why hoards of boys would be at your feet, begging for just one chance.

The corners of his lips lifted. The bashful look on your face was... cute.

"It's okay," he began. "Cartography is just the science of making maps."

You looked even more confused, but also relieved. Relieved that he wasn't going to make fun of you for not knowing. "There's a science behind making maps?"

"Hm," Sunoo paused to think, "Not exactly. But there's a lot of thought that goes behind making maps."

"Why?"

Sunoo thought he was going to fall in love. He loved his friends, of course, but none of them were ever as curious about his interests as you were.

"Well," Sunoo's hands joined to make a circular shape. "The Earth is a three-dimensional globe." You nodded to show that you were listening, staring at him with curious eyes. "Imagine even trying to transfer a 3D globe onto a flat, two-dimensional surface. It's pretty difficult to do without intense distortion."

You nodded slowly, your eyes narrowing.

"Was I rambling?" Sunoo asked quietly, so quietly that he didn't even think you could hear him.

"No!" you jumped to answer, earning a glare from the librarian. "I'm just trying to process it."

After a few moments of silence, you sucked in a deep breath. "I get it now, sweetie. You're so smart."

"Th-Thank you..." Sunoo stuttered out. Did he really just ramble to you about maps? And did you actually just listen to him with interest? "What are you studying?"

"Oh, me?" you looked down, embarrassed again. "It's just history. I can't wrap my head around it and I have an exam next Wednesday."

"Oh...." Sunoo blinked. "I can help you."

And that's how he got invited to your dorm.

(And to hell with forgetting his feelings!)

Truth be told, you weren't the person that everyone thought you were.

It seemed like, to the rest of the school, you were just a perfect little angel. And the fact that you rejected every guy that made advances toward you only helped that image grow.

Everyone thought you were perfect, beautiful, and most of all, untouchable.

And that couldn't be any further than the truth.

The truth was simply that no one was good enough for you.

Everyone had an essence of snobbery to them, something that you just couldn't get past. You wanted someone raw and genuine, someone that had more substance to them than just their daddy's money.

Which was why you wanted Sunoo Kim.

And you wanted him bad.

There was something so fucking attractive amount the way he'd push up his glasses, eyes squinting to get a better look of the board as he messily jotted down notes.

There was something so charming about the way he clenched his jaw when he was concentrated, his brows furrowing.

There was something that made your stomach flip whenever he rolled up his sleeves to do some math problem that you probably couldn't understand.

There was something that made you so obsessed whenever he swiped his tongue over his plush lips, his eyes brightening as he explained his favorite topic.

God, you didn't just want him. You needed him.

All these years, you did everything with him at the back of your mind. Would Sunoo Kim look up from his massive textbook if you wore this skirt? Maybe he'd even breathe in your direction if you got a better grade on this exam.

You didn't get it. Everyone looked at you, yet the only person that you wanted to look at you did not.

You wanted Sunoo Kim, and you wanted him bad.

You and Sunoo agreed to meet on Monday and Tuesday to help you study for your history exam on Wednesday.

On Monday, the two of you met in the library right after school. It was a quiet, focused session, covering all the necessary sections in a short amount of time. For the first time ever, you actually understood the concepts!

On Tuesday, the two of you agreed to meet in your dorm at 7PM, because that was when you knew your roommates would be gone.

You glanced at the analogue clock pinned high on the wall near the entrance of your dormitory. Every dorm room had one, as mandated by the school to promote punctuality— all the exact same model with a red-brown base, serif lettering, and a gold trim. Yet, the clock in your dorm felt slower, much slower than it should.

6:47PM, it read, the slow ticks pushing off the walls as if to tease you.

Couldn't 7PM come any faster?

Your eyes fell over to your roommate's mirror in the corner of her desk.

The Academy's uniform was strict. Collared button-up, the school blazer with its crest crisply embroidered on, for girls the skirt at a reasonable length: it was all very stringent. All students were required to wear the uniform during school hours.

This study session with Sunoo would not be during school hours. You picked out your best top— a pretty, white top with a delicate lace trim. You always got the most stares when you wore this one (and hopefully, Sunoo would stare at you).

You never thought that you had to put any more effort into your appearance than you usually did, but as the clock ticked on the wall, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious.

You knew you were pretty, but what if Sunoo didn't think the same? Did you look weird today? You swore your face was feeling puffy earlier— should you do something? What if you suddenly woke up today and you morphed into a frog-like creature, and everybody knew except you?

You picked at your fingernails as you waited (im)patiently for 7PM to come. Your palms felt a little clammy, and your heart pounded in your chest with each passing minute.

And finally, just when all of your self-confidence was beginning to slip from your grasp, you heard a knock at your door.

If it was anybody else, you would've taken your time to get to the door, maybe even shout a little "Just a minute!"

But because it was the Sunoo Kim, you couldn't help but eagerly scurry to the door. You would've been embarrassed because Sunoo could 100% hear your loud footsteps as you rushed to the door, but you were too engulfed by your nerves to even think of it.

"Hi, sweetheart!" you blurted the second you opened your door, a bright smile on your face. There Sunoo stood, with his delicate face and thin gold-rim glasses, looking composed and focused as ever. And god did that make you want him.

"Oh, hi," Sunoo said coolly, pushing up the glasses on his nose. Though, you missed the way his eyes twitched, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he sucked in a sharp breath.

The two of you stood at the door for a few moments, just staring at each other. Your smile never faltered. If anyone were to see you, they'd see hearts in your eyes and a sparkly, pink lovey-dovey aura radiating off of you.

"Come in!" you said cheerfully, letting the boy into your dorm.

The two of you got to work pretty quickly. If there was one thing about Sunoo that you could appreciate, it was his sheer willpower and concentration when it came to academics.

It wasn't like you didn't try in school. That couldn't be further from the truth; you always tried your best, even when your best didn't earn you the best marks.

Sunoo was just another level. You couldn't understand how he did it. He was so focused and intelligent, it made your chest feel warm and fuzzy.

The moment that he stepped inside, he had your textbook and notes cracked open immediately, asking you questions that were just a little too difficult for your mind to wrap around.

"What?!" you cried, your face scrunching as jumbled words that you couldn't understand fell from his lips. You looked at Sunoo incredulously. "We did not study that!"

You could have sworn Sunoo chuckled at your confusion, his eyes squeezing into thin crescents as the corner of his lips lifted. Usually, you'd feel embarrassed for not quite being the brightest, but Sunoo never made you feel that way.

"Lee is your professor," Sunoo pushed up his glasses, unable to hold back airy chuckles at your outrage. You nodded. "Well, he's notorious for his ridiculous trick questions, right? As your study-buddy, it's my duty to prepare you as best as I can."

That's when you got up from your desk chair and flopped over onto your bed, groaning into your pillows.

"Why do you have to be so thoroughhhh?" you whined, kicking your feet.

Your heart fluttered when Sunoo laughed.

Yes, laughed.

It was high-pitched and breathy, like he was sucking in breaths of air only to push it out with a pretty giggle.

You whipped your head around, picking it up from the pillow. You stared at the boy with wide eyes.

God, how could anyone be so beautiful?

You watched the boy laugh, completely and utterly infatuated with him. He was so cute. You needed him now.

You threw your head back into the pillow, continuing to groan and whine, in the hopes that it would make him laugh.

"You hate meeeeeee," you whined, "You hate meeeee!"

"I don't!" Sunoo laughed, his hands slapping his knees, "I don't hate you."

You whined again, kicking your feet. "You doooo."

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, filled with quiet giggles. From your desk, Sunoo nudged you with his foot, earning another cute whine from you.

You were cute. And hardworking and enthusiastic. But that wasn't a surprise to Sunoo.

Sunoo watched as you shouted at your roommate who came back to the dorm to fetch something she left behind.

"Hurry up, Yujin!" you chided quietly, trying to get Yujin out of the dorm as quickly as possible... before your momentum with Sunoo was lost. "Move it, move it!"

"Geez, sorry!" Yujin rummaged through her things, trying to look for whatever she forgot.

When Yujin finally left, you never closed the door any fast, eagerly turning back to Sunoo and plopping down on your bed.

"Sorry, sweetie" you murmured, a frown on your face. "My friends are having a party tonight and Yujin forgot her lipstick, or something. Her stupid crush is there so she needs to look 'perfect' or whatever."

"Party?" Sunoo cocked a brow.

"Yeah," you rolled your eyes. "It's for someone's birthday."

Sunoo narrowed his eyes.

Did you skip your friends' birthday party just to study for your history exam?

Pause.

Did you just ditch your friends just to study with him?

A strange noise came out of Sunoo's lips as his cheeks felt warm.

Relax, he thought. It wasn't like it was a date or anything. Surely, you were just trying to get a good grade. That's why you chose to study instead of party.

"I was gonna go," you said smoothly, looking at your nails, "But how could I miss out on time with you?"

Sunoo's ears burned.

"Oh— Well—" Just as words were becoming coherent in his head, you just had to drop that on him. He spluttered. "Thank you...? I-I— I mean—"

You chuckled. You got off the bed and joined Sunoo again at your desk. "Let's study, sweetheart."

For the next hour or so, the two of you were in a deep study session. Every word that you read and every word that fell from Sunoo's mouth, you soaked up like a sponge. You needed to pass this exam, and even more, you needed to make Sunoo's efforts worth it. He already spent yesterday and today helping you; you did not want to waste his time and fail.

Your dorm room was quiet now. Other than the sound of pages turning, pencils on parchment, and the distant sound of partying down the halls, the room was silent. From time to time, someone would run down the halls, probably running after their friend. You and Sunoo would look up at each other and share a chuckle.

You had just finished a practice test a few minutes ago, and now Sunoo was grading it for you. Meanwhile, you read up on your notes once again. Holding the notebook up, you hid behind it, creating a wall between you and Sunoo.

You feared that if you could see Sunoo, you wouldn't be able to concentrate.

Well, just him being in the same room as you was already enough to make your mind drift. How could you not?

His concentrated expression made you feel weak to your knees, his fox-like eyes drilling into your practice test. His skin looked so perfect and airbrushed, you just wanted to pounce on him and mark it up and—

Okay, too far.

But still.

You've been studying for a good hour now. It wouldn't hurt to take a break, right?

You peeked over the side of your notebook to catch a glimpse of Sunoo. He was minding his own business and doing it quietly, but he looked so good that you couldn't tear your eyes away.

Yep, this was the break that your eyes needed, from those hunking paragraphs of text and difficult-to-read stimuli.

"Do you need something?" Sunoo asked, not moving his eyes from the practice test that he was currently grading.

You felt your cheeks heat up. How did he notice your staring so quickly? This must mean that he could always notice you staring at him! Fuck, fuck, fuck, were you weird? He definitely thought you were weird now, and—

"N-Nothing," you stammered out, immediately burying yourself back into your notebook. In fact, you even went as far as turning your entire back from him out of embarrassment.

So embarrassing!

"I don't mind..." Sunoo murmured.

You snapped your head over to him. "W-What?"

Did you hear him correctly?

"I said..." This time, it was Sunoo's turn to hide his head behind the paper, making it impossible for you to see face. "I said I don't mind if you stare at me."

You felt light-headed.

Everything— from the deep espresso scent in the air to Sunoo's soft cologne to the way his moles littered his skin to the way he was sat so attractively at your desk, spouting intelligent nonsense at you to the very way that his glasses sat on his nose— everything about Sunoo was driving you mad.

Insane.

You didn't feel like yourself. You didn't feel like the perfect angel that everyone wanted you to be.

You felt like a selfish animal about to pounce on another. You felt like you were going to sink your teeth into his neck and ravage him.

Your head was spinning. Everything was spinning. Your skin felt hot, your mouth dry, as if it needed something to satiate it now. You were thirsty, thirsty for Sunoo, and nothing would be able to satisfy you but him.

And before you could even control yourself, you threw aside your notebook, grabbed Sunoo's face, and smashed your lips against his.

In that moment, it felt like all time stopped.

You couldn't feel anything, other than your hands that delicately clutched Sunoo's face, and your lips that were pressed against his. Your heart pounded in your ears. You felt like you were tied to a pyre, burnt like a sinner at the stake, yet it felt good.

But the moment that you heard Sunoo's breath hitch in his throat, a guttural sound tumbling out, you regained your senses.

Immediately, you pulled away, stumbling back as you caught your breath.

Sunoo's face was bright red as he stared at you. He took heavy breaths, almost like he wasn't breathing before.

"I-I'm—" you blurted, your mind not quite thinking straight. When your eyes met with Sunoo's you nearly bursted. "I-I'm so sorry— I don't know what came over me."

Sunoo only stared at you.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. What on earth did you just do? Suddenly, you were hit with regret and embarrassment.

You spluttered, apologies and jumbled words spilling out of your lips. Yet, Sunoo wasn't listening.

Your words fell upon deaf ears.

Sunoo was too busy staring at your lips.

And if you weren't too busy apologizing, you would notice the way Sunoo's teeth dug into his bottom lip, his fists clenching as his nails prodded into his palms. You would notice the way Sunoo stared at you with glazed over eyes, how his pupils were blown out.

You would notice Sunoo's own self-control slipping out of his grasp.

After all the torment that he's been through— all your light touches, appearances in his dreams, and goddamn pretty smiles— Sunoo could feel his resolve being torn from his hands. He did his best; he dug his claws into what determination and control he had, but alas, it wasn't enough.

And as fast as you could blink, Sunoo grabbed your wrist and pulled you in against his chest.

Holding you by the waist, Sunoo gripped your chin.

"Can I kiss you?" His voice was desperate. "Please, can I kiss you?"

"Yes," you whispered, your hands sliding up his chest to hold his broad shoulders. "Yes, please kiss me."

As the last syllable left your lips, Sunoo wasted no time crashing his lips against yours.

Unlike his usual quiet and calm self, his lips were the complete opposite. They were rough and hungry, eating you like a starved man. You whined against his lips, gripping Sunoo's hair with weak fingers.

It was a messy kiss. An inexperienced, messy kiss that any of your friends would jeer about. No rhythm, no ebb or flow, just feeling.

But to you, this was what you needed.

You could taste the desperation on Sunoo's tongue; the taste of someone pushed to the edge and now finally tipping over. It sent electric waves of warmth down your skin, your stomach doing flips as his hands roamed.

Then, Sunoo gently pushed you onto the bed, his lips swollen as he peered down at you.

"Are you okay?" he asked quickly, making sure that he didn't push too hard.

You only smiled. "Mhm."

Sunoo got on top of you, being careful to not crush you under him.

It looked just like his dream.

The smell of espresso coffee in the air, the two of you in bed, and did you think he wouldn't notice the white lace top that you chose to wear? Just for him.

Sunoo leaned on his elbows for support as he was on top of you, leaning in to kiss you.

Except, before his lips could meet yours, you giggled, placing your hands on his shoulders to stop him.

Sunoo looked at you concerned, like a deer in headlights. Had he done something wrong?

But you only smiled.

Gently, you put your hands on his glasses, straightening them out. They had gotten crooked earlier when the two of you first kissed.

"Can I take these off, sweetie?" you asked.

Shivers ran down his spine at the nickname. Sunoo hummed, too eager to kiss you to even care if he'd be half-blind without them. You took his glasses off, putting it on your bedside table.

Sunoo took your face in his hands, his fox-like eyes staring into your eyes.

"You look so beautiful," he breathed. Sunoo's head dived for your neck. His breath tickled your skin, making you let out a whimper. "So, so, so beautiful."

With that, Sunoo began pressing open-mouthed kisses on your neck. With each kiss you let out a moan, your arms tightly wrapped around his neck and pulling at his hair. Your legs wrapped around him, your head falling back into the pillows to give Sunoo better access.

"Su— Sunoo— ahh," you struggled out, especially when Sunoo sucked on your skin. Although he was only kissing your neck, your entire body felt like jelly, including your brain. "Sunoo— I-I'm sensi— sensitive there."

"Sensitive where?" Sunoo asked simply, ignoring the way that you squirmed under him.

When you could only moan in response, you could feel Sunoo grin against you.

His lips nipped at your collarbone. "Sensitive here?"

"A-Ah—" you moaned, your arm jerking out to grip the bed sheets below you.

Sunoo kissed a wet line to your jugular, right at the center of your neck. "What about here?"

When all you could do was whimper, he grinned again. His lips traveled to the very side of your neck, just under your ear.

"What about here?" he asked again.

But instead of a moan or whimper, you laughed. You threw your head back again, pulling Sunoo's head into your chest in an embrace as soft giggles left your lips.

"I'm ticklish there," you giggled out. You bring a hand up to brush up against that spot on your neck. You grinned softly. "Sorry, I'm ticklish there I guess."

Sunoo nodded into your shoulder. He took in your scent, the feeling of you pressed up against him. He didn't mind that your little session was interrupted by something light-hearted. After all, he got to learn something about you, no matter how small.

And just as Sunoo was listening to your heartbeat, you pulled him back.

"Turn over," you instructed. He did just that. You were now on top of him. "My turn."

Just like in his dream.

He was in for a long night.

"Sunoo!" you shouted, your legs moving faster than you could think. The moment that you spotted his familiar back, you pounced on him, throwing your arms around him. "Sunoo, guess what?!"

Sunoo looked over his shoulder, swallowing back any embarrassment and shyness as you hugged him. Everyone in the hallway was staring at you by now, but it seemed like you didn't care. And if you didn't care, then he didn't care either. "What?"

You turned the boy over. It was now that he noticed the papers in your hands. You shoved it in his face, big red numbers at the forefront.

"One hundred percent!" you exclaimed. It was your history exam. "I got one hundred percent!"

The two of you celebrated (i.e. you hugged Sunoo) in the hallway, completely ignoring anyone that was staring. After all, it was Wednesday afternoon and the dining period was ending soon.

"Good job," Sunoo smiled. He was happy. "You did great."

"I couldn't have done it without you!" Your smile was so bright that it could light up the entire academy. You threw your arms around him again, this time pushing your face into his neck. You squeezed him. "Oh, thank you, thank you!"

You pulled back, looking at him with big, glimmering eyes. You took his hands in yours, squeezing them excitedly.

Feeling bold, Sunoo pushed up his glasses before leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Your neck," he rasped, "I can see the hickeys."

Your eyes widened into saucers at that, immediately fixing your shirt's collar. Your face was painted with shyness, squeezing your eyes shut. Your panic was so evident that anyone could probably tell. So cute.

"Just kidding," Sunoo chuckled, before he turned on his heel and began walking away from you, ignoring your cute shouting as you followed after him.

Yeah, he'd regret that later. After all, you had him on a leash, and there was no way in hell that he could escape you.

He wasn't going to sleep tonight, one way or another. Not if it's you.

#star-sim #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fic #sunoo #sunoo kim #kim sunoo #sunoo x reader #sunoo fluff #sunoo fic #sunoo imagines #kim sunoo x reader #kim sunoo fluff #enhypen sunoo #vanya-writes

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