#like she wants her back as a companion in the future lol

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

things they fought to keep in: the fucking hall of valor and the hauntings

you didn't. it was bad.

LOL, LMAO EVEN.

[bhaalsdeepbat]

i really, really love that lae'zel is DISGUSTED by the idea of ever having to deal with pregnancy, but like. genuinely loves being a mom to Xan. and just loves that baby so much.

[meanbossart]

I realize this is a weirdly specific question, but what was DU Drow’s experience like first waking up on the Nautiloid/on the beach?

Like, was he wearing Bhaalist stuff when he woke up then? If he was, did he ditch it right away or did he just leave it on until he found gear in better shape or maybe just didn’t want to associate with that symbolism/organization anymore? Like what was the thought process for him there, assuming that were the case??? If he was wearing something else, what might it have been?

I ask because I finally started my first Dark Urge playthrough yesterday (YIPPEE) and am plagued with thoughts about my guy, wondering if maybe he had some Bhaalist gear on when he first fell out of the Nautiloid that slowly was switched out for other things as the story progressed. Then I was like “oh hey what about Drow??? What was going through his head when he woke up that morning on the beach??????” Especially bc I can’t imagine he had much time to look at what he was wearing on the Nautiloid while it was still flying around.

ANYWAYS. Apologies for the ramble, my brain is plagued with thoughts now that I’m finally doing a Durge run so I might come at you with more random ass questions in the future >:)))

First of all AYYYY have fun with your first durge run!!! I'm always open to more questions if they happen to pop up throughout the experience.

Now to your question: An Interesting one! Though my answer might be disappointing LOL

In my personal lore, DU drow woke up from the tank with nothing but some scrappy underwear on - hell, It would probably make more sense if he was fully nude, even, but that would make many of the companion introductions a little too awkward - so, tattered underwear it is.

Considering what Kressa had been doing to him, I imagine that she would have either removed or destroyed his clothes at some point during the experimentation. DU drow was stuck with her for at least a few weeks - so, even if she didn't promptly undress him, his outfit would have been far too slashed, cut, and caked with old blood to keep, and likely torn off so it would stop getting in the way.

Her husband (I think he's the one who ships you away, if memory serves me right) would have had little reason to send him off with dignity - BUT perhaps he slipped some briefs back onto the drow's body because he felt ashamed of the implications of his wife keeping a battered, nude man around.

So, DU drow slides out of his pod, caked with old blood with only some ill-fitting linens covering his groin. He picks up whatever sharp object he finds lying around for self defense and proceeds through the ship, barefoot, hair matted, having no idea who he is, what he looks like, or how he got here. He's completely overtaken by his self-preservation instincts and being confused is second to getting out of his situation alive. He goes along with Lae'zel because she seems to have at least some idea of what's going on, and he frees Shadowheart from her pod because she seems more trustworthy than Lae'zel.

He probably stripped the trousers off of one of the corpses lying around the beach after the actual crash (they would have been a little tight, but it's better than nothing) and god-willing was able to snatch some fresher underwear at the grove or something. The only indicatives he had of a past life were his scars, and I guess his unusual features. The thing is - whenever he first caught sight of his reflection, he very much liked what he saw looking back. Someone else might have been shocked by their appearance, but what DU drow felt would have been more akin to a kind of relief - I'm strong. I'm big. I'm intimidating. Good. As it should be.

And well... There's not much reason to give it thought past that. His looks feel right, he thinks he looks attractive, even his scars are somewhat comforting. Tadpole and odd company aside, it actually feels nice to be himself right now, so why ruin it with questions and concerns.

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

How would you rank the characters living under Jack's reign in the bad future from who's having the "best" time vs who's having the worst? (excluding Jack himself obv he's having a good time lol)

6-Hannibal Roy Bean

Being stuck in this undersized, undignified cage and blown up to a size where you can't even move, and labeled as "The Musical Fruit" are all humiliating.

But Hannibal's been locked up for centuries before, so this is hardly going to break his spirit, especially Jack is mortal and getting very old, so it feels like the immortals in the dungeon have this mindset that they can sort of just wait it out.

Granted, Hannibal does look weirdly mishappen and... mushy? So I wonder what exactly Jack has done to his body to make him end up like this.

With how distended and full his lower body looks now, and with the suspicious absence of Hannibal's only companion, I sort of suspect that Jack somehow forcefed Ying-Ying to Hannibal...? But even if that's not the case, the absence of Ying-Ying is another form of torture for him, since that's the only other being who he truly likes.

5-Master Fung

Master Fung is as skilled and untouchable as ever. Moreso in fact, because he seems like he doesn't really get winded by battles anymore. His mind may have dulled somewhat, but his physical form and skill has sharpened with age during the time skip.

The gladiator shows they're forced to put on are miserable for everyone, but none of Jack's bots are able to even scratch Master Fung, and he beats them without a sweat.

He has an easier time against Jack's lion-bots than he did against the real jungle cats, who he also handily beat.

And Master Fung's confusion and memory problems seem to stave off despair, at least. Though he's still having an awful time here.

4-Wuya

Hers is mostly another humiliation thing, but unlike Hannibal's, Wuya's also has this visceral, creepy factor to it. Jack apparently forcibly changed her clothes and did up her hair in accordance to his own taste for cheerleaders, complete with pigtails and his initial.

In addition to that, she's also suspended over a pit of boiled lava. The rising heat from that is probably the physical torture, along with just how uncomfortable the chains are.

But the worst part for Wuya is probably that Jack has somehow stolen the powers that were sealed away from her and is in control of her stone golems now, to add insult to injury. That probably stings more than any aspect of this setup.

3-Le Mime

Also in this gladiatorial thing, but Le Mime's never really been shown to be able to fight and he can't even take a hit from his own scrawny arm. And since he's just cowering here, the lion bots apparently have some way of getting past his Miming, so he can't protect himself behind his invisible walls.

He's got nothing he can do but weather the humiliations and pain of these losing battles.

2- Chase Young

His torture devices is definitely the most intricate.

Water drop torture, stripped of his clothes (including his underwear because those boxers notably aren't Chase's), suspended in this metal contraption with a paintbrush spreading something over his abdomen.

Chase's is also the only torture device that is surrounded by bloodstains.

And he's in a dungeon with Wuya and Hannibal, the people who he'd least want to be trapped with. None of them are gagged, so they both could at least take as many pot-shots at Chase as they wanted to. Those two are better at getting under Chase skin than anyone else, and even though Chase probably shot insults back, it was 2-against-1 there.

And the first and only line we get from Chase implies that he's been on the edge of hope waiting to see Omi again after all this time with no word on his fate. Despite everything that's been happening, Omi's still been on his mind this whole time with no answers for 80 years.

So he had quite a bit of both physical and psychological torture to deal with.

1-The Monks

They have frequent gladiatorial matches and an awful living situation. Old age has definitely slowed them down, so their matches probably don't end without injury like Master Fung's do.

And they still never found out what happened to Omi and Dojo, after all this time. They're all mentally beating themselves up over that, and over the state of the world. They're crushed by this feeling that they've failed in their duty towards it, and they don't know if their friends are dead or alive.

And the end, minutes after they find their first spark of hope in decades, where they're all brutally murdered. They're extremely painful deaths, too. Clay is shot by lasers, Raimundo is crushed, Kimiko is pulled apart limb-from-limb.

Taking that into consideration definitely makes them number one on this list. Can't have a much worse time than that.

Honorable Mention: Omi

He was only there for a little bit, so I can't really rank him anywhere on the list. But watching all his friends be brutally murdered in front of him certainly left an impression.

And Omi's the only one who will have any impression of all this at all. Whether you think the space-time merging of the alternate timeline left ripples of memories in the others or not, this is just a bad future of the main timeline, so no one's actually experienced it. Omi's the only one who'll remember this nightmare. It's seared into his memory for good.

[dealingdreams]

Qimir's motivations might be a little uncertain. Like all we really know for sure is what he's told us. He wants freedom, freedom to be allowed to practice his power as he sees fit, he wants an acolyte, and he wants the power of two. That said, here just my thoughts.

I think when Mae was asking Qimir about his master aka him, he was actually answering her with some truths about his actual master Plagueis. "He collects people...i owe him" etc...best lies have some truths. Which i have concerns cause we know Palps ends up being Plagie's apprentice and later murderer. Plags did go thru some folks before he found the perfect fit for his world domination plan.

Qimir just doesn't really strike me as someone who is power hungry tbh. i know we techically dont know him well enough yet...but i mean the dude really only attacks when he's threatend. he seems more wounded animal than sith mastermind. so why the power of two...why an acolyte? i think his speech about an acolyte killing the dream...is in relation to how the Jedi at this point in time are the authority on teaching younglings how the force works. they say how and if that power can be used, even going so far as to say that without their teachings, your connection to the force weakens. so having someone showing force capabilites without being a Jedi is kinda a slap in the face to that teaching. Especially if that person can kill a Jedi without the use of a weapon. Like damn..the Jedi aren't that powerful after all yaknow. I think it's just a big fuck you to the Jedi tbh.

He's just wants to be a hot philosophy professor guys

As for the power of two, that is basically the Sith end all be all. He's not a Sith Lord yet...he hasn't taken/been given a name. I really think the only reason he would want the power of two is for his safetly...again he reads as wounded and lost to me...not power hungry. A lot of his choices seem to be made with whatever happened with Vernestra in mind. His shoto blade, which is similar to a saber Luke had in the comics(?) i think...was built to block lightsaber whips. His helmet blocks a Jedi's ability to read his mind or sense him fully. Add in the genuine fear on his face when he sensed Vern...something happened there and it left him so wrecked it's still effecting him all these years later.

Now here is where i think he's fucked.

I do think that he cared about Mae. In fact i think he wanted Mae to succeed and had she not betrayed him I do think he would have continued to train with her. I do also think that he was interested in Osha from the jump, but i dont think at any point he would have tossed Mae to the side for Osha. I think this for the same reason I dont think Qimir was trying to replace Mae with Osha. I think he sees the twins as very different people and has a very different dynamic with them. I think he seized the opportunity with maybe pulling Osha to his side...weither he would have done that had Mae remained his pupil who knows.

Qimir and Mae's dynamic is basically In-Laws lol.

I joke but no i think there was a distance between Qimir and Mae. There was a power imbalance between them. Simply master and pupil. Why he never showed her his face we could only guess. Personally I think it was a combination of him not trusting Mae fully and in case she got caught and a Jedi like Sol or Vernestra went into her Mind. He was simply protecting himself once again. Still he created the persona of Qimir to be a companion to Mae. He still taught her, still assisted her, but did it in an unitimitating way. So yeah I think he cares about Mae. Also just fyi, no I don't think he would have killed her when he found her and Osha at the tree in the aftermath of Sol's death.

So back tho to how he's fucked...Osha...hopefully literally fucked by Osha in the future but also like...he's fucked lol. He never had the choice with showing Osha his face, but he did have a choice on how vulnerable he was with her. We know from literally everyone confirming it that he wasn't manipulating her. He felt a connection to her, felt like she would understand him and he could understand her. That they were the same. I dont for one second see a power imbalance playing out between them. I think many of his actions prove that he views her as his equal. So thats one of the many ways he's fucked. the rule of two doesnt like that very much so i think Plagie might have some issues with that.

I think i could see them like playing master and pupil cause it's safer that way...but honestly they are fucked truly.

anyways ending the rant kinda abruptly lol :P

[barrenclan]

idk why but i feel like Cootstorm won't be the only cat that stays behind. like Nightberry or maybe even Slugpelt will stay behind too, for two different reasons

Cootstorm thinks they are bound to the land and the suffering as a divine punishment for their ancestors past sins, but she doesn't strike me as particularly sentimental.

Nightberry strikes me more as someone who would stay behind to tend to the graves of the cats they lost, rather than wallow in the misery 'ough out destiny is to suffer!!!!'. to keep their memory alive. plus she is kind of old and lived here for even longer than Cootstorm, so i feel like leaving for her would be a whole lot harder, especially without Cypressfoot.

Slugpelt.. i can see her both leaving with her living children, but also i can see her staying behind as some sort of self-imposed punishment. im thinking how she was taking small steps in repairing her relations with her kits, only for every next event take it away and shred it apart. every step forward, she was in the end forced to take twice as many back. Aphodelpaw was murdered just as Slugpelt tried to be more for her and her siblings. Rainhaze came back only to reveal that he killed Asphodelpaw and Slugpelt in blind, heartbroken rage killed him back. she lost everything, except for Pinepaw and Daffodilpaw. i can see her giving up on making thinks better and just.. stay. everytime she tried to change something in her life, it only went worse. so why bother? she might as well stay in the BarrenClan with Cootstorm and wither away. which would be even more ironic since she WANTED to leave with Cashew all those moons ago, and he left her soon after she found out she is pregnant. another nail to her barren coffin.

i dont think anyone else would stay. at least not with Cootstorm all alone tbh

Redpelt would definitely do everything she can to get Blacknose and the kits out. Plumstripe and Beeface might have an epiphany and realize they need to step up to take their father's place and take care of their mother (especially now that her dementia seems to take a harsh turn) and baby siblings, so no.

Egrettail.. maybe? for the same sentimental reason like Nightberry, but i dont want to leave her alone with Cootstorm for longer than 5 minutes lol she deserves better than that.

i think Daffodilpaw would leave to help Blacknose too. maybe she could also convince Slugpelt to leave as well.

Cormorantpaw would leave without a doubt, purely bc Defiance knows of his current location. i doubt he would feel good staying here with this knowledge anymore. again, i think he deserves better than stay with Cootstorm.

i can see Pinepaw staying, like Slugpelt hypothetically in some form of self-imposed punishment for his curiosity killing many cats, but. i doubt he will do that since Cootstorm stays too. maybe he wont move all the way out of the territory, but he doesnt seem like he would like to spend his remaining years/moons with her as his only companion.

Look at all these predictions! I love the thought you put into how each character might approach the daunting task of deciding their future. I hope you like what I do with them all.

[nikethestatue]

Denying that G*wyn behaves like a teenager through the entire book is wild. Her fans ignore the fact that she was written as if she belongs in a YA novel, and assign her a lot of Feyre’s qualities so in their mind she becomes an adult who’s fully ready to have wild, freaky sex with Azriel. I wouldn’t be surprised If Azriel at some point in the next book says that he sees her as a little sister.

or even worse--DAUGHTER! LOL

Listen, this 'how old is Gwyn really' issue keeps rearing its head regularly.

I think the problem isn't only that SJM couldn't keep her own worldbuilding straight, but also, I think ALL she wanted to do was to show that Gwyn was Nesta's peer and was also young. That she wasn't like Mor, or one of those priestesses that's been in the Library for 300 years.

I think SJM wanted to show someone with similar journey as Nesta--and it is a similar journey in that what Gwyn experienced Nesta also experienced in a different way.

Gwyn was raped. Nesta was Made. Gwyn's sister was murdered. Nesta's father was murdered, but also, she watched Elain being thrown into he Cauldron, not knowing what would come back, if anything. Gwyn's home was destroyed. Nesta's home was destroyed. Gwyn had absentee parents. Nesta had absentee parents. Gwyn was placed in the Library to recover. Nesta was placed in HOW to recover.

So you get all these parallels between the two of them, and they are both young and dealing kind of with the same shit.

I don't think that at any point did SJM predict that a bunch of her readers would be throwing fits over Gwyn's age because they want her to have sex with a 540 year old dude. Again, Gwyn was never written as someone who was going to be having sex with ANYONE, let alone Azriel, and her role was around being Nesta's friend and companion. And that's what SJM wrote--a young woman, very VERY young for a Fae, again, kind of like Mor was, or LOA, dealing with very tough choices and trauma.

Furthermore, 'offer and permission' weren't put in the Bonus for shits and giggles.

Offer and permission is something that Elain gave freely. She offered her consent. This is INTENT -- something that will happen in the future. She wants it, he wants it, and she is allowing it.

Unless Gwyn, whose choice is to stay in the Library for now. Again, it was there for a reason.

[ghouly-boiiiii]

My Name Is Cooper

Chapter 1

A Finger for a Finger

(Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul)

Next Chapter >>

Tags: angst, fluff, romance, humor, banter, femdom, alcohol and drug use, eventual smut

Summary: Follows Lucy and The Ghoul on their journey after the events of Season 1. Lucy has to come to terms with what she’s learned about the company and people she once trusted with her life and the future of the world, and the bounty hunter's rough exterior starts to break down as he begins to see his old self in her.

After coming across an abandoned vault, they decide to spend the night there and take advantage of its remaining amenities. While there, Lucy finds some of Cooper Howard’s old movies… The same movies she grew up watching with her dad. She puts them in, and as she recalls distant memories and struggles to cope with the truth about her father, she comes to another startling realization…

Authors Note: I just wanted to write something with these two. Not sure where it's gonna go, but I've got at least 3-4 chapters in mind, and there will be smut somewhere in there lol. I just think they have an interesting dynamic and much potential for witty banter and an interesting romantic/sexual relationship. Especially with the idea that Lucy may or may not have had a major crush on the actor Mr. Cooper Howard. And that The Ghoul may or may not become an absolute lost puppy for the first woman who looks at him in *that way* after 200 years of being a walking corpse.

It's gonna be an adventure. Let's see where this takes us, y'all. lol

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,016

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers

No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man.

“You’re awful quiet there, Vaulty.�� The Ghoul said, breaking a long bout of silence as he glanced over his shoulder at his human companion, with Dogmeat faithfully prancing beside him.

Lucy didn’t look up at him. She just stared at the ground, dredging her feet heavily through the sand. Dawn had long passed and the sun was now beating down, but she could barely feel the burn on her cheek as her mind raced with the things she now knew.

“You ain’t said a word since we left Cali… Hell, you ain’t even beggin’ for water.” He joked, trying to prod a response out of her.

“Lucy.” She said simply.

“What now?”

“My name is Lucy.”

“Yeah? I know that… So what?”

“That’s my name…” She looked up at him, her brow slightly furrowed and voice sharp with agitation. “I just thought since we’re gonna be traveling together, maybe you could use it sometime…”

The Ghoul looked over his shoulder again for a moment, grinning slightly. He seemed a bit surprised by her tone, but also somewhat amused. “Hah… well, alright then, Ms. Lucy MacLean.” He said mockingly. “Tell me somethin’. Whaddaya think we gonna find when we finally catch up with that daddy a’ yours?”

The vault dweller felt her jaw clench a little and her brow furrowed more. “Why are you asking me?”

“Oh, I just thought… you been down there in that vault all this time. You ought to know somethin’.”

“Ugh… No! I don’t know shit!” She snapped, raising her head up a bit more. “…In fact… I’m the one who should be asking you the questions!” The girl narrowed her eyes towards him, zeroing in on the back of his wrinkly, bald head. “How do you know my father?”

“Hah… well… that is quite a story.” He said with a snicker. “But I think we best save that for another day.”

“I want answers.” She demanded. “Besides, we’ve got a long way to go, don’t we? Might as well talk...”

“I’m used to travelin’ alone, sweetie… Kinda prefer the peace and quiet, if I’m bein’ honest…”

“Tch…” She scoffed skeptically. “You like peace and quiet… or is that just a nice way of telling me to shut up?”

The Ghoul let out a chuckle. “Nah… If I wanted you to shut up, I’d just shoot ‘cha.”

She blinked, then picked up the pace, jogging up next to him. “Alright then… let’s talk.”

He glanced over at her, then shrugged. “Be my guest.”

“What’s your name?”

“My name?”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it before… What do I call you?”

“I ain’t got no name, sweetie.”

“You have to have a name…”

“Not no more, I don’t.”

“Well, I have to call you something...”

“Heh…” He huffed a bit. His voice was casual, but clearly holding back some irritation. “Then you can just call me ‘Asshole’.”

“Come on. Tell me your name.”

“It don’t matter...” He said with a slight scowl. “...The man that name belonged to died a long time ago.”

Lucy stared at him a moment, then looked away, taking several steps before turning back to him. “...What... was he like?”

The Ghoul stopped in his tracks, then leaned to one side a bit and tilted his head before turning to her in exasperation. “I said you could talk. Not ask me a bunch of stupid ass questions.”

“I wanna know…” Lucy said, tilting her head a bit too as she stood her ground. “I wanna know who you were before you became… you know…” She paused as she looked him up and down with a slight sneer. “...this…”

The two-and-a-half century old bounty hunter stared at her a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His eyes shifted towards the barren wasteland around them where Dogmeat had decided to wonder while she waited for them to continue, then looked back at the young vault dweller. “You wanna know what he was like…?” He finally said, then his eyes moved to the distance ahead of them as he continued to walk. “Well… he was a lot like you…” The Ghoul stated with a scowl. “Naive. Hopeful... Thought the world was a... good place fulla… good people who wanted to do the right thing...” The distain in his voice was palpable.

“You were… like me?” She said, her tone was both surprised and doubtful.

“I told you, Vaulty. I’m you…” He reminded her. “Only difference between us is…”

“Time.” She finished his sentence.

He looked at her a moment, then turned away and said, “That’s right…”

Lucy got quiet again, staring at the ground as they continued to walk.

A period of silence passed between them. The Ghoul found himself glancing over at her a couple times, before asking, “You worried… what this wasteland’s gonna do to ya…?” He said, his tone oddly compassionate. “What it’s gonna turn ya into…”

She quivered a bit, looked up at him, then back down.

“Well… I don’t blame ya. I’d probably feel the same way, lookin’ at me…” He glanced over and smirked at her a bit, but she didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at him. So he continued. “I hate to tell ya though… It's already started, sweetheart… But I think you already know that…” He grit his teeth together for a moment and sucked in some air between them. “Not much you can do about it, but…” He let out a somber exhale, hesitating a moment before glancing at her again and saying, “You know… it ain’t too late... to go back.”

The girl blinked, then looked up at him with wide eyes. “Go back? To where…?” Her tone was suddenly rather upset. “To the vault? That place? That…” She shook her head. “No! No, there… there’s no way I could go back…!” She swallowed hard, fighting back tears. “Not after… Not after knowing... what I know now…” She choked back a sob and shook her head. “Just go back…? Back to my old life and pretend… like none of this ever happened? …I can’t.”

“Hmm…” The Ghoul ground his teeth a little. “Yeah, I figured you’d say that…” He took another deep breath. “That's the problem with the truth. Once you got it, you can’t put it back… No matter how bad you might want to.”

She swallowed hard against the painful lump in her throat, then looked up at him. “...Why did you let me come with you?”

“Again, with the questions…” He said with an exasperated breath. “We both lookin’ for the same thing, ain’t we?”

“...And why should what I'm looking for matter to you?”

“It don’t. Not really, but… Shit, we goin’ in the same direction.”

Lucy was getting annoyed by how The Ghoul kept running the conversation in circles, but she wasn’t about to give up. “I don’t understand why you’re being nice to me now… Why don’t you just take me hostage again?”

The old bounty hunter snickered a little. “Well, cause I ain't got no reason to, sweetheart. I don’t just go around tormenting people for the fun of it. What kinda person you think I am, huh?”

“Huh.” She scoffed at him as if she couldn't believe the stupidity of that question. “Well… kind of… not a very good one, if we’re being completely honest.”

“Heh… Well, you’re not wrong about that... But the real question is… if that’s how ya feel, why’d you decide to come with me?”

She looked down, shook her head and shrugged. “As long as you’re not dragging me around with a rope, I think I’d rather take my chances with you than be out here on my own again…”

“Yeah… life’s full of hard decisions, ain’t it?” He turned towards her, lowering his head a little and looking at her from under the brim of his hat. “You know… I underestimated you... Ms. Lucy MacLean. I thought a cushy vault dweller like yourself would be nothin’ more than roach kibble.” He looked forward and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “But… you got somethin’ in ya. Somethin’ that’s drivin’ ya… Maybe it’s that curiosity a’ yours. Maybe a misplaced sense of justice… or… maybe something else. Whatever it is… it gives you that edge. You got that survival instinct… Aw hell, maybe I’m a little curious too…”

“Curious… about what?”

“To see how far you’re willing to take it… before you do go crawling back into that hole.”

She frowned deeply and glared at him. Her voice was quiet and shaky, but firm. “I’m… never going back down there… I don’t care… what happens up here.” Her voice began to waver and crack as she spoke. “I’m never going back… I can’t go back…”

“Yeah…” He nodded approvingly. “Because you don’t take no bullshit. That’s what I like about 'che. I respect that.”

The vault dweller, or rather former vault dweller, huffed a little. “Great… I’ve earned the respect of a murdering monster…” She said sarcastically as she wiped her eyes. “That makes me feel just… so much better…”

“Call me what you want. But like I said… just give it a little time...” He smiled a little as he continued to stride forward. “...And well... to tell you the truth, I guess I feel like I owe you one, you bringing me those vials and all….” He chuckled a little at himself. “What was that you said? Golden rule, motherfucker?”

She smirked a little, feeling justified. “Yeah… but… I... was also the one who... broke them in the first place… so…”

“That’s right, you did.” The Ghoul said playfully. “But then, I suppose I shouldn’t have been using you as bait in a poisoned river.”

“Yeah… Yeah, th-that’s right! You shouldn’t have!” Lucy yelped, suddenly getting animated as she recalled the ordeal. “That was… not very respectable behavior at all, sir!”

“Yeah… rude, huh?”

“Very rude!”

“Down right ungentlemanly.”

“The most ungentlemanly!” She huffed and puffed with righteous indignation. “A-and you know what? You do owe me! Yeah! You owe me big time, mister! You cut off my finger and… and I saved your life! I didn’t have to do that!”

The Ghoul let out an amused laugh. “Oh… I still got your finger.” He said, pausing to wiggle it in front of her.

Lucy squinted in horror as she recognized the out-of-place digit, crudely stitched onto the stump of his missing index finger. Then her eyes got wide as she leaned back, sneering in disgust. “You are… a sick, sick man.”

“What? You want it back?”

“I… found a replacement already… thanks.” She said, holding up her own bluish-gray finger.

“Never let a good body part go to waste, I say.” He said with a grin. “Besides, you did bite one a’ mine off first. Only fair you replace it.”

“Y-you kidnapped me!” She threw the blame back at him.

The Ghoul let out another laugh and Dogmeat barked in excitement. “Ah, Vaulty… it’s gonna be fun havin’ you around, ain’t it?” He said before continuing to walk.

She scoffed as she began to follow, but her voice softened a bit. “Okay… so… so does that mean I don’t have to worry about you cutting off any more of my fingers…? Or… anything else like that?”

“Well… now that depends, don’t it?”

“On what?”

“Whether you plan on bitin’ off any more a’ mine, darlin'.” He said, looking over at her. “Eye for an eye. Finger for a finger. You bite my ass, I bite your ass. Golden rule, motherfucker.”

Lucy scrunched up her face in an attempt to hide that she was trying not to laugh. “I-I… I will do my best…” She said after containing herself a little and raising her head up in a dignified, but also mockingly serious way. “But you know… sometimes… a fellas gotta eat a fella… right?”

The Ghoul laughed heartily, amused at her attempt to match his humor. “Well, in that case… next time I think you better swallow.”

She felt herself crack a smile, then began to laugh as well.

To be continued...

Next Chapter >>

[ninapi]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Sound Pillar ╝

Premise: A broken man, a shattered dream and purpose. Retirement made Tengen feel useless, a rather confident man shatters to the ground, new resolution and sense of one self blooms from it as he meets the right person at the right moment.

Word count: 4551

Warning: spoilers, the story takes place in between and after the manga’s original timeline. Just a tiny bit suggestive, because Tengen lol.

Note: This is in a way linked to my previous Giyuu story (link here if you're interested).

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Uzui Tengen won over the upper moon six.

So why did it feel like he lost?

He lost many things that day, his position as the sound pillar, his arm, even one of his beautiful eyes, but most importantly, his ego got bruised. They won, yes, but at a very high cost.

There was no other option than to retire, to leave his beloved demon corps behind.

Once again, he was forced out of his predetermined way of living, first out of his shinobi village, now the corps.

He felt empty, lost, useless.

His sense of self had been shattered once more without the promise of a brighter future.

Last time he lost his family, his house, his identity, but won his three wives, his companions, his new family, it wasn’t a bad deal. But this time, what did he win? He got one moon killed, that’s all. If it would have been Muzan this would be a different story, but it was just an upper moon, a lower one in ranks at that to make it all worse.

Wasn’t he supposed to be strong? Were his muscles all good for nothing? All his training and knowledge? Now it would all go to waste.

Lost in his own misery, Tengen found solace in alcohol. He wasn’t particularly fond of the beverage nor proud of himself for turning to the easy way out, but he needed something that could make him forget the emptiness of his heart.

Tengen was a regular patron at a family owned izakaya downtown. The old man made the best side dishes he’s tried in his life, that plus the stories of his youth as a retired demon slayer would always bring a smile to his face, he somehow felt like the father figure he never had, he was kind, experienced, wise, he always knew how to make him feel better regardless of the struggle. So, he decided it would be a good time to pay the old man a visit.

He would always sit at the counter, order a drink or two and just enjoy the evening. However, he had already been drinking that day and his appearance wasn’t as well kept as it normally is. He was still wearing a bandage over his lost eye and refused to leave his uniform behind just yet.

When he arrived, there were only a couple of customers sitting way over the back of the shop, the counter was completely empty, all for him like he liked it, though the old man wasn’t in sight. He assumed he was in the kitchen and went over to his usual stool.

A young woman came out of the back trying her best to balance three dishes at once, startling Tengen who was awfully close to the entrance door. “I’m so sorry sir. I will take your order in a second!”, scrambling over to the back table, she handed over the food delicately placed on the plates and brought over some refills for their beer.

“Excuse me for the delay, my father hurt his leg yesterday and I offered to take over his place until he recovers, I’m still trying to get the hang of this. What can I get for you?” his crestfallen expression made your stomach sink, he wasn’t pleased, he even looked upset, maybe you talked too much and he didn’t want to be bothered.

“That’s a shame, I came here just to talk with the old man. He always knows how to lift my spirits. I’ll have a beer though if you don’t mind. Maybe something to munch on as well.” his tone was softer than you expected, his voice alluring and raw, you could hear the drawl of alcohol mixed in it, but he looked pretty sober still.

“Sure! I dried out some squid it pairs perfectly with this new brew we have, let me get you some right away.” your enthusiasm and welcoming smile calmed his nerves, he was disappointed that he wouldn’t get to talk with his old friend, but this wasn’t half bad, you did take after him, he could see the resemblance.

He knew he had a daughter, but this was the first time he’s seen you. Your father married a younger woman right after retiring from the corps, Tengen met your mother once and he remembers teasing the old man for marrying such a hottie, he had it in him, he was still good looking for his age, muscles still present from his rigorous training and he wished to be like him when he got older. But never really expected his daughter to be around his age and this pretty, it was quite the shock.

Everything was delightful, not only the squid and the beer prototype but your company. He almost even forgot he was feeling down, you were just as chatty as your father, cheerful, knew how to make him laugh, it was an unexpected turn for the night.

“So, you are the famous Uzui-sama? I’ve heard so much about you from my father. It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you!” he suddenly feels his heart drop, he talks too much and is aware of everything he’s told your father, he knows about his three wives, he knows about his bad habits. He’s never been ashamed of having three wives, not even once in his life, until this day.

He somehow wishes he was a normal guy in his early twenties, someone with the luxury of getting to know you better.

“Have you now. All good things I hope.” he tried to mask his uneasiness with his usual sassy attitude, hoping for the best. Even if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to wish for something of the sort.

“Yes! I’ve heard of your legendary fights with scary demons and even about how handsome you were. Not everyone can have three wives after all.” your cheeky smile made him choke with his drink, he was hoping the old man hadn’t mention them, that damn sneaky geezer.

“Hmm…well it doesn’t really have anything to do with my good looks, mind you. That is the norm for Shinobi households. The head of your family chooses three women for you when you turn fifteen and you’re supposed to bring lots of heirs for the clan. I did run away before that could happen though.” this new piece of information made your eyes gleam for some reason, and he didn’t miss the relieved expression on your delicate face, even if it lasted less than a second.

“I see. So, are they more like sisters? Or are they functional wives?” there was a soft shade of pink dusting your beautiful cheeks at the implications behind the question, one of your fingers was twirling around your locks in an almost shy flirty kind of way. It was bolder than he expected, he liked how flamboyant that was.

“Sisters…huh. Never thought about it that way. I guess you can say one of them is, she’s kind of grumpy, always fights with everyone but she’s a wonderful shinobi. Then we have one that’s like a mother figure to all, she’s the one that cooks and keeps the house in order, we all respect her. And the last one is more like a pet, clingy, cute, cries a lot, gives everyone headaches.” a long sigh came out of him after he recounts his daily life. None of them sounded like the type of wife you feared the most, interesting.

Your giggles brought him back to reality, they were like music to his depressed ears, “Doesn’t sound too different from my own house. Though, we don’t have a pet.”

“Are you…I mean…do you have your own family, or do you still live with your parents?” the alcohol was completely out of his system by now, his mood changing completely for something he was not hoping to see today.

“I live with my parents. I know I’m a little old for that but I’m still waiting for the right one, if you know what I mean.” your eyes were beautiful, the low light of the bar area just accentuated their natural glow even more, your lips looked so plush and full, kissable was the only way to describe them. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that the shop was completely empty now, he was the last customer of the night and was probably time for him to leave as well. A pity.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I may have three wives, but not by choice. Can’t say I’ve been in love before. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wives, they’re my family. It’s just that you know that young love experience? Sneaking out to meet each other, first kisses, all that, yeah, never had it.” you were nodding in thought, even if his situation was pretty unrelatable, you could understand the feeling as you’ve always craved the same thing, therefore rejecting any possibility of an arranged marriage.

“It’s difficult to come by if you ask me. Everyone I know gets married for convenience. Love is a rare occurrence these days. It’s why I admire my parents. They didn’t care for how society would see them, father being on the older side and all, but they’re as happy and in love as teenagers regardless of what others might say.”

“Your father is an awesome man, he deserves nothing but the best.” the smile you gave him made his heart explode in a very flamboyant way, leaving him breathless.

“Thank you for your kind words, Uzui-sama. Even if it pains me, I’m afraid we must continue this wonderful conversation another day. It’s getting pretty late and there’s been rumors of demons around the area, father forbid me to keep the shop open until late.”

This alerted Tengen, he was in no condition to protect you if the worse was to happen, it couldn’t be risked. The feeling of being useless crept back into his chest, a feeling he’s been neglecting for the past few hours. Your cheerfulness was contagious, you’ve managed to make him feel alive again, to forget who he was, what tied him to his depressive state, you’ve managed to make him feel like just a man in a bar meeting a beautiful woman for the first time, he was livid. But reality was very different and it crashed hard on him like a bucket of icy cold water.

“You better go then, sadly your protector for the night has become a useless man. Wouldn’t want to put you in danger if I can no longer protect you.” his eyes turned dark, his expression falling. Making your way around the counter, you rested your hand on top of his, offering comfort. “You’re not useless, Uzui-sama. I’ve seen my father behead a demon with a spoon. Just because you lost an arm doesn’t mean you’re useless. Pretty sure you could protect me without a struggle if it was necessary. Besides, I’m not a maiden that needs to be protected, I know my way around, believe it or not.” the teasing tone in your voice made Tengen’s grin return, you were a handful there was no doubt about that.

“Call me Tengen, beautiful.” the soft look in his eyes took your breath away, he was perfection even if half of his face was covered in bandages.

He left the shop with a smile on his face, his worries all shoved down a drain. It amused him how just talking to you for a few hours could make such a difference in the way he sees the world. He didn’t feel useless anymore, you were right, this was just an obstacle it wasn’t the end of the world. Having just one eye was better than not having any, he just had to find a way to look even more flamboyant than ever to make up for the loss, easypeasy.

His heart was still racing, his chest felt warm.

That night he sent his wives to their own room, he had a lot to think about.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s been four days since your last encounter. Tengen was doing his best to restrain himself and stay home, he didn’t want to seem easy or to come across as pushy, but he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to see you even if it was just for a few minutes, even if it was just through a window, anything would do.

“Uzui-sama! What a pleasure to have you back this soon. My daughter told me of your last visit, it’s a shame I was bedridden that day.” your father had now resumed his duties, sending Tengen into a nervous breakdown, he never expected him to be back this soon. Would he ever get to see you again? Is not like he knows where you live.

“Old man! You’re back already? Shouldn’t you be resting? I heard you hurt your leg. Rest is important to heal, I’m sure you know that.” there was a knowing smirk on your father’s face, he knew where this was coming from.

“I’m fine really, it doesn’t even hurt any more. Shouldn’t bother my lovely daughter for this, it gets bad when men get drunk and try to touch her, sadly it happens very often.” Tengen’s face went feral, he was seeing red at this point, wishing he had his swords with him, “They did WHAT? Tell me who they are, I will kill them all and feed them to stray dogs.” this made your father chuckle, he saw the look on your face when you were telling him about his visit, your happy sway the next morning while you prepared breakfast, it’s something he can identify quite well, and he could see it reflected in Tengen’s face too.

“If I knew who they were, they would be dead already Uzui-sama.”

“Good point. Do tell me if anyone even dares to look at her the wrong way, I can help exterminating pests.” the venom in his words was comical, he was so angry, and he’s only met you once.

“Will do, please come inside, I will prepare something for you.”

“Don’t worry about me old man, it’s too early for a drink, I was just passing by and wanted to say hello.” he was about to continue with his life when he heard his favorite little voice from afar.

“FATHER!!” you were running after him slowly, dragging a ridiculously large bag full of potatoes, he said he wanted to switch the menu around but forgot to bring with him the main ingredients.

“(Y/N) my love, what is it? Oh! How could I forget the potatoes? I’m certainly getting old.” your face was red from exertion, your breath ragged from the little race.

“Let me carry those for you, they look heavy.” Tengen got the bag up with his good hand like if it was weightless, causing your eyes to dart up to your savior.

“Tengen-sama! I didn’t know you’d be here. How have you been?” you were mentally cursing at yourself for not choosing something nicer to wear, you didn’t even fix your hair as you were just going to drop the potatoes in the shop and head back to your house.

“Well, I didn’t know I would be either, but it happened that way. I’ve been good, how about you? Missing me much?” this made you blush, smiling up at the man in front of you, you had in fact, but never expected him to ask such a question. Your father cleared his throat, making the bubble you two had created pop, you both forgot he was even there.

“Come inside Uzui-sama, seems like your plans for the day have changed.” your father was a sneaky man, he knew what was going on and shouldn’t be endorsing it, but he’s never seen you smile like that.

“Yeah, I guess I can stay for a bit.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sun had set and Tengen was still in your shop, though, instead of being in the counter where he usually was, he was now sneaking into the kitchen where you were pealing potatoes for your father.

It startled you at first, his hand coming over to cover your mouth to keep you from making any noise. “Tengen-sama?” your voice was muffled against the palm of his hand, making him chuckle.

“Shhh…the old man will hear us.” he was closing the door, scooting closer to you in the tight space.

“Do you need something?” the closeness was making you sweat with anticipation, he was towering over you, his eyes slightly hooded lost in your face. “I missed you…couldn’t get you out of my head, that’s why I came…” your heart was racing so fast you feared he could hear it from where he was.

“I did too, Tengen-sama. But we should probably don’t act on these feeli-“ he cut you short slamming his lips against yours, instantly letting a small whimper out. Your lips tasted wonderfully, they were so soft, so warm, just like he imagined they would be but even better than his wildest fantasy. Your hands came to lace around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to your body, taking in all he had to offer.

You both knew this was wrong, but none of you could avoid it any longer.

“Tengen-sama…what about your wives…?” you were mumbling against his lips in between kisses, his hand tugging on your kimono trying to expose as much skin as possible without getting you undressed. He just needed to kiss every inch of you, right now.

“What about them? They’ll love you…who wouldn’t? You’re gorgeous, kind, overall lovely…they might even try to steal you away…” his needy panting was driving you insane and you wished desperately your father wasn’t behind that flimsy door.

You held him by his shoulders, doing your best to stop his ministrations, this was a bad idea. “Tengen-sama, we can’t do this here.” he was now holding you up in his arm, keeping you trapped against the wall while he kissed down your neck. “Shall we go to my house then, doll? Don’t think I can live a day more without you…” his words were making you feel drunk, you needed this man as much as he needed you, but this was not the place for that.

“Ok….” Your voice was nothing but a breathless whisper and you were not sure this was such a good idea either; your father wouldn’t be there, but three unknown possibly threatening women would.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The walk over to his state was unbearable, the heat was overwhelming outside and inside of you. Tengen threw you over his shoulder in despair and ran over the town to speed up the process as his insides were also melting.

Without even announcing his arrival, he got into the house from his bedroom’s window, throwing you on his bed and devouring you for hours on.

It was an experience, that much was a fact.

He was unstoppable and so were you apparently.

The girls noticed something was off, even if you muffled every possible sound coming out of you, Tengen didn’t, and he was living his best life.

He’s never enjoyed himself this much, didn’t even think it would be this different. He’s been with many women before, his wives included, but you, you were a treat that he couldn’t get enough of.

He kept you in his room for days, it was just not an option for you to leave. Not like you wanted to anyways.

But this wasn’t just lust. This was intimacy as its best.

He would lay his head on your lap while you played with his hair, hearing him retell his stories of grater days.

You would feed each other while cuddling on his floor.

Shared multiple baths.

Even got to decorate his eyepatch with the remains of his old headband jewels that he had laying around in his room.

At this point it was pretty obvious to the rest that he had a woman in his room. But Suma was the only one bothered by this. Hina and Makio had accepted that this would eventually happen at some point, they’ve messed around with others as well with Tenge’s authorization, this wasn’t a strict household, they all could do whatever they pleased. But this was the first time Tengen brought a woman home. It was an indication that you were important, this meant serious business and they had no saying in this.

“Baby…why don’t you stay here for good? You know…be my wife maybe? I don’t think I can send you back to your parents’ house after all this…” his face was buried in the softness of your chest, unwilling to let go of you.

“Tengen…you already have a wife…three actually.”

“And? They have their own room, you can stay here with me if it bothers you. I’m sure you can all become good friends, they’re nice girls I promise.” Littering kisses over your exposed skin, he was in heaven, needed to sway you to his side.

“I don’t know Tengen…I mean I would marry you for sure, there’s no doubt there. But this isn’t a normal situation, and you know that. I’m not telling you to choose or anything, I just…I don’t know…” anxiety was filling his lungs, he’s never felt such attachment towards someone. Sure he was afraid of loosing his wives to the upper moon, but this was different. He felt like he needed you by his side, you made him want to continue living even after reaching such a low point. You made him laugh, you made him love.

“Baby please…give us a chance. I promise I’ll make you the happiest woman…”

You agreed to meet the girls and he was right, they were all lovely, even Suma who seemingly hated you was a nice girl.

Hina welcomed you to the family with her arms open and you could quickly see who was who based on the descriptions previously given by Tengen. They were lovely and accepted you as part of the group practically as soon as they saw you. Suma sulked for weeks as you were deemed Tengen’s one true love, she loved her husband dearly, so she felt a little betrayed unlike the rest that were happy the family was growing.

Your father had already accepted you would be sharing your husband, he wasn’t as bothered as your mother was, but they weren’t a conventional couple either, so they accepted him, nonetheless.

And so, you became a new addition to the Uzui household.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Life was chaotic to say the least.

Tengen honored his promise making you sleep with him in the master bedroom while the others slept in their own. He would still go to their room often, but your place was pretty much stablished among them.

You four were all his wives, but you were his woman.

This was further confirmed when you were the one he decided to impregnate.

The thought of having offspring terrified him, he couldn’t help to think of the bloodbath his family had to suffer under his father’s own commands.

But you made him want to experience fatherhood. He would be following your father’s steps, not his. He would be the best dad there is and you would be one to carry his first child.

Once pregnant not even Suma could resist how cute you were all round and fluffy. They spoiled you rotten constantly, you had the best food there was, the bigger portions. Tengen was over the moon and would carry you everywhere afraid of anything bad happening to his child.

Your first born was welcomed to this world surrounded by warmth and reaching an immense number of hearts.

Tomioka Giyuu, Tengen’s friend was invited by him for the big day, he was so proud of his lovely wife he wanted the entire universe to come and see his beautiful newborn. Of course, he never thought his friend would hog his child as soon as he was born. The first face your son ever saw was not yours nor your husbands, not even his grandparents but an old friend.

Tengen was in charge of naming his first born. He wanted something flashy, something that screamed power. So, he went for ‘Shingen’, promising you would be able to name the next one.

He quickly became the little prince of the house.

Adored little Shingen was surrounded by beautiful women from the day he was born onward, what could be more flamboyant than that.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Time Skip~

You’ve been living as a family of eight for quite some time now, even if it was tempting to bring more lovely children to this world, the household was anything but quiet already.

Suma had gone in a rant a while back, she was hurt, felt unloved. She wanted to provide Tengen with a child as well, wanted to be loved as she used to before you came to the house. The rift between you two was unavoidable. Tengen refused to leave any of them pregnant without your consent and you had to agree just to shut her up, it was quite aggravating, and it was upsetting Shingen who kept on begging for a sibling. He did want one, but from his mother and father, he just didn’t understand his dysfunctional home, he was too young for that.

A little girl was born from her rant, and she not only looked like her mother but acted just like her too.

It drove things to a still point and you were considering leaving the house with your son. But you loved your husband too much for your own good, you just couldn’t muster the strength to do it.

Shingen’s temper was growing sour, he disliked the current living arrangements way too much as he was used to being the center of attention.

His father thought giving him the little sibling he used to ask for so often would alleviate his load, bring his cheerful flamboyant son back, and magically, it worked.

When Tenya came to this world, Shingen went back to his soft loving nature, the four of you lived in Tengen’s room and he felt safe there, it was your family’s own little home within the house, your happy place.

Tenya was now the center of attention, and he was fine with that, at least it was his actual brother, and he loved him, he was all he ever wished to have and for a second thought he would never.

He feared his family would collapse, that his father would choose one of the other women and make them the main wife, it terrified him being replaced, having that annoying kid take his rightful place. He loved his father so much, looked up to him, he was everything for Shingen. Having a brother was his way of securing his place in the house, he wouldn’t want to go with someone else if there was a new baby in your little family, right? Proud of developing the perfect plan, he looked more like Tengen as days went on.

Suma had asked for your forgiveness and you two went back to being friends, your son however, would never.

The air around the house was tense and more often than not you wanted to run away from there.

This was your decision, you knew it would be hard, sharing your one true love was not something everyone could do, but you didn’t regret it. Tengen loves you, you know it, the world knows it, he gave you your beloved sons, you were happy regardless of the confrontations and attention seeking displays.

A letter had arrived from the Ubuyashiki mansion to celebrate Kiriya-sama’s coming of age ceremony and everyone was invited, even the children.

Tengen was particularly looking forward to seeing his pillar friends and get to brag about his beautiful big family.

His household was unconventional. Troublesome. Loud.

He brought war into his own house, but he found true love in the process. He was a new man, a respected husband and father.

Life would continue with its hardships but having you and the gang by his side was all he needed for the rest of his days.

But he had to fix the mess he got himself into.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Tagged babes: @doumadono

Masterlist Next Chapter

[bookishwithathought]

ACOSF Bonus Chapter Breakdown

Part II - Azriel and Elain

***IT IS LONG, BUT I WANTED TO DOWNLOAD ALL MY THOUGHTS ON HERE. IF ANYONE READS IT THROUGH, BLESS YOU. WILL CONTINUE IN FUTURE POSTS***

Part I: https://www.tumblr.com/bookishwithathought/749493410186117120/acosf-bonus-chapter-breakdown-part-i-azriel-and

**This is just me, analyzing the life out of the bonus chapter and all the possibilities. My thoughts and no one else's. If you agree, great. If you disagree, love it. If you want to share why you disagree, love it even more. If you are disrespectful while disagreeing, I kindly request that you move along and if you insist you will be left to argue with yourself**

How did I miss this important bit from the first part?

This implies that Az and his shadows are a package deal. The shadows are an important part of his character, his very being. Throughout the series there are so many comments and observations about the shadows, and if they weren't important then the author would have no need to give them the amount of attention she has.

BACK:

These details are important, especially since it's been established the shadows are an important part of Az's very being.

When comparing the shadows' behavior toward Elain to everyone else in Azriel's life, it's worth noting that they vanish in Elain's presence, or move in a way that implies uncertainty, insecurity or fear.

Elain was a social butterfly prior to being turned Fae, open and inviting, and this subtle forwardness seems to point to her being on her way to returning to herself, moving forward from mourning Graysen and her mortal life.

Azriel is letting his emotions override his reasoning.

To consider:

It can either be positive, where emotion leads to action for good, or negative, where it can lead one to ignore warning signs.

2. His conscience was warning him and he chose to ignore. His wants and needs broke forth, overriding his senses and dismissing any potential repercussions or fallouts from this decision.

"I want what I want, consequences be damned"

*Clearly Elain is attracted to Az, otherwise she wouldn't have leaned into him. We see her beginning to just want again.

(I'm redacting because I want to keep it as PG as I can)

Why wait for his shadows to go to sleep to allow himself this freedom?

Possibilities:

His shadows know it's wrong and would encourage him against it

Azriel knows it's wrong and doesn't want to have his companions whisper into his conscience

Azriel felt uncomfortable acting on his desires in the presence of his shadows and didn't want an audience

My personal thought: It's like hiding something important from your greatest friend who'll always be honest with you and hold you accountable because you don't want to be honest with yourself and you don't want to leave any room for your conscience to be awakened.

Personal note: I love the half-hearted attempt at resisting lol at least their conscience wasn't completely thrown out of the window.

Her arousal: reminds me of Violet Bridgerton and wanting to be "gardened" in Queen Charlotte (iykyk) lol. In all seriousness, this points to Elain being ready for love again. She is ready for touch, for intimacy.

Side note: Shout out to Azriel for still showing self-restraint, letting Elain take the lead on this. It's possible that he's letting her take the lead to appease his conscience, to be able to point out that he wasn't the initiator (not that it matters, at the end of the day, if you're still a willing participant. If there is blame to be had, you share it regardless of who started it) but I'd rather think the best of him in this moment, letting Elain set her level of comfort and pace here.

Trusting and hopeful and open:

Possibilities

Elain was ready to think forward, of the future, of the possibilities

Tied with her not knowing the darkest/roughest/morally grey parts of Az so she only has an image of him that's incomplete. Implies her desires for Az is incomplete because she doesn't know him wholly

Terrible...sacrilege...tainting...:

Possibilities

Az feels unworthy of goodness because he sees himself as unworthy of goodness

He idolizes Elain, putting her on a pedestal

He sees himself as not good enough for Elain, not even his presence is good enough for her. It corrupts, it taints, it stains.

He views Elain as innocent and pure, which in itself can be patronizing. We could point to the following excerpt from ACOSF

Personal note: I wondered, while reading this passage, if this was also directed at Az himself (I fail to remember the right terminology for this), because based on the bonus chapter he certainly believes he has a darkness Elain shouldn't be exposed to. So much so that he comments he knew she had no idea of his "unsavory" side, and the only way for one to truly know another is if the other person reveals who they are. He hid parts of himself, either because he thinks Elain is too good and pure or because he's worried of how she would react to who he honestly is. Either way, hiding parts of yourself is dishonest.

Immediate satisfaction. Here Azriel isn't thinking of a future with Elain. He has a desire he wants to see satisfied. After that? In this one moment, there is no "after that." Not to say there wouldn't be later. For now, there isn't.

{Side note on "Offer and permission": love to see on page consent.}

To be continued...

[lacyjaybird]

For @inukag-week 2024 I'm going to start off with a re-post since I'm late to finding out and didn't have time to make a new one lol guess you guys are getting my favorite one shot instead!

Day 1 theme : Yearning

set during the 3 year separation

"Jealous"

Thunder rolled in the distance as the married couple settled in for the night. “It’s fixing to storm..” Sango muttered, looking worried at the noren as she tucked the twins into bed, their identical faces completely at peace for once. Sitting back on her heels, her right hand was drawn to her pregnant belly as if by a magnet, mindlessly caressing the mound. 

Miroku sighed, setting the cast iron pot on its hook to dry. “You know how he has gotten with the rain recently.” he smiled reassuringly, trying to mask his own worry and calm his wifes. He always worried about his silver haired companion. Especially when it rained. 

The man in question stood in the center of a familiar field by an old worn well. The wind tore at his robes like desperate hands, his alabaster tresses whipping around him like a sentient being. Golden eyes, previously hidden beneath bangs, drew up towards thick black clouds just as the first drops touched the soft downy fur covering the inner cone of his canine ears, making them twitch. Those eyes hid once again, this time by copper toned lids as their owner’s chin remained pointed towards the sky, welcoming the warm torrent. 

“Kagome told me about how all the water in the world stays the same, just goes through a weird cycle and gets used again. “ He thought, embracing the drops as they got fatter and heavier, drenching him in moments. His hair and robes now clung to his body like a second skin. “Maybe..” he thought, clenching his fist. “Maybe the same rain that’s touching my face right now will find her in the future. Maybe.. maybe she’ll think of me.” It was the only thing he held on to nowadays. 

A year and a half ago, during a storm like this, Inuyasha had been reminded of the lesson. Shippo had inquired about evaporation because the tea he had set aside that morning was half empty when he returned that evening. 

“You see..” Kagome began, her teaching voice in full motion. She gestured to the first crude drawing in the dirt. It was of an ocean. “This is representing all the water in the whole world. The sun heats it up and it rises into the sky as vapors,” as she spoke, her fingers moved along the diagram. “ And those vapors build up as clouds. Once the clouds become too heavy, the condensed vapors turn into rain drops and fall back to the earth and replenish the lakes, rivers and oceans!” She had stood up then, her ebony locks dancing as she victoriously placed her fist on her hips. “So.. the water we have now is the same water in your time?” Sango had asked, reviewing the sketches. “Well.. essentially yes.” Kagome laughed, not wanting to try and explain weather patterns and other countries and wind variables. “I guess you can say that!” 

As soon as he had remembered, Inuyasha had gone outside and stood among the droplets. He had a chance to vicariously be with her. Now he stood, jealous of the rain in her time. The rain that got to touch her skin. The rain that was closer to her than his hands had been. The rain that was closer to her than her own shadow. He wished her the best that her world had to give her. It didn’t mean he didn’t wish for her to suddenly appear and tell him how much she had missed him. How she found no happiness without him by her side. How she had been as restless as he. 

So there he was, eyes closed, drenched from ear tip to toe. Maybe.. maybe some of those rain drops would carry him to her in the far off land that was her home. 

500 years later, a young High School third year ran up the daunting steps towards her home, trying to beat the rain clouds that loomed ominously above her. A crack of thunder sent shivers up her spine as she hit the top step and began to feel the warm drops on her navy colored school uniform. As she ran across the shrine grounds, the bottom fell out, completely soaking her in moments. “No!” she cried, feeling defeated in having lost the race. As she went to pass the well house she stopped, a force asking her to cease. And once she did, she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky, the drops touching her lips as warm as a pair she saw in her dreams. 

The rain felt like a warm hug, reaching to her soul, wrapping around her like strong tanned arms. A gentle smile played on her lips as she remembered the owners light chuckle, his deep thrumming growl, his pink tinted cheeks as her hand intertwined in his. 

“Kagome!” her mothers voice called from the porch, “Come inside, dear! You’ll catch cold! Dinner is ready! I made ramen!” With one last longing look towards the well, Kagome hurried to her home, thankful for the moment of peace in her usually restless life as she longed for the grouchy owner of a pair of eyes the color of spun gold. 

[doctormastertardis]

I'm trying to understand the love for Clara Oswald, so I am rewatching her episodes... :) I'm not a hater, after all lol...

I also just want to re-hash my memory on The Great Intelligence, because I HAD this nagging theory about Ruby Sunday and her "snow" ability, which is connected to my theory that Ruby is a human embodiment of the TARDIS, which is also connected to my theory about why the "old Gods" of Classic Who are coming back in relation to The Flesh + Nestene Consciousness, which circles back to my theory on the return of the Toymaker's connection to the Timeless Child Arc (aka origin of the Doctor).

ANYWAY... back to Clara :)

I think the set-up between Clara and Eleven was well-written actually!!! I always did prefer her "incarnation" as Oswin Oswald over her "21st century existence". I even hoped she would ORIGINALLY be a scientist from the far future, and THAT was one of the reasons why I was initially disappointed regarding her character-trajectory.

I can understand "The Hybrid" concept from an interpersonal viewpoint. I can appreciate it as a metaphor for a toxic, co-dependent relationship only IF the audience is willing to shed light on the Doctor's history with his OTHER human companions.

And yes, it is inevitable that the Doctor as a "whole entity" (not necessarily just Twelve) would give back Clara Oswald the Gift of Eternal Life, as she did end up DEAD because of her carelessness and over-confidence due to Twelve enabling her when he tried to bring back Danny from "hell" per Clara's request.

These are a bunch of domino effects that resulted from Clara jumping into his time stream... Perhaps, Twelve's "duty of care" stemmed from the fact that he wouldn't exist without Clara. Literally. She saved him across all his timelines from the Great Intelligence (dun dun dun)-- he'll be back, mark my words. Perhaps, that was a metaphor for co-dependence. I mean, duh, it is!

She saves him from "dying", and he in return stops her from "growing" as a person.

I would have probably been satisfied with Clara if her story had ended when she jumped into the Doctor's time-stream, but alas- we wouldn't have Missy if that was the case. AND WE ALL LOVE MISSY <3

Might I also remark that it is *GOOD* writing that they also included "Me"/Ashildr (code: warrior) in The Hybrid plot, because the Doctor made this Viking girl immortal and "less human", and in a parallel circumstance he did the same for Clara... He quite literally stopped Clara's death, the same way Clara stopped HIS many deaths.

So yeah, ok, Clara didn't deserve her own TARDIS (imo). But seeing as she's "stuck" with Me (who I personally interpret as Clara's very own "dark" Doctor replacement; hence the poetic name "Me"), I think having her own TARDIS is more of a KARMA-- like, a traumatic time-machine that takes you anywhere BUT home?

In hindsight, I was bitter about the fact that Clara Oswald got her own TARDIS because it renders all the other human companions "unimportant"? Now that I'm older, I'm realizing that Clara "mirroring" the Doctor from a perspective of a broken heart (per se) can definitely be narrated from a perspective of:

"WOW THEY REALLY WERE TOXIC FOR EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY BOTH WANTED TO AVOID THE INEVITABILITY OF DEATH."

If I decode The Hybrid in terms of human relationship, I would say that they stopped each other from GROWING. Because "death" = rebirth. And without death, life becomes stagnant.

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: DU drow, Orin, Astarion, lore things and little fun facts.

Trying to make a dent in this dang inbox. As always, thank you so much everyone for your patience and curiosity! Sorry that it is straight up no longer possible for me to reply to everyone, but I will keep doing my best within reason. Enjoy!

Absolutely! I had a lot of requests for bottom Astarion on my patreon which is why I was kind of on a roll there for a minute.

Though, for the record - I am really not very invested in strict bedroom roles at all. Or clear and distinct dominant/submissive dynamics. So please don't overthink it whenever there's a switch, no pun intended.

You wanna know how often they smash? Man, I don't know, I guess fairly often considering their lifestyle post-game (very active, often on the road).

Assuming that everyone agrees that sex doesn't have to involve penetration, I'd say once every other day or less, really depends on the circumstances though. DU drow's libido is much higher than Astarion's, but he's not an animal and can hold off fine. Astarion is likely to be pickier in regards to location and how-recently-have-we-bathed status as well.

I keep meaning to draw him, but I have like... A million things I want to do 😂 so its rough!

BUT you will at least continue to see him in ANE! And I'm sure i'm bound to draw him again in the future.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

If you mean in his bhaalist "AU", where he has the red robe and the extra scars, I imagine he would have gotten it through killing Isobel.

I think as a changeling she probably has the ability to just... Transform her hair however she likes at will, right? And based on her attitude plus some lines we get from Sceleritas about her own former-butler, it sounds like she would be really opposed to being serviced in that way, to me at least.

I see her as pretty aggressively independent with the way she operates, which is another factor that sets her apart from DU drow, who really enjoyed lording over the other Bhaalists and making an errand boy out of Sceleritas, to the point where he practically depended on their help to function.

Neither! I wasn't willing to let anyone take either of my eyes in my first playthrough, LOL.

I have since always given the Volo eye to SOMEONE, usually Gale, but I don't consider that canonical. I don't think anyone was desperate enough to let mister frumpy-hat over there ice-pick their eyes out.

He did do them himself. It was a profoundly stupid display he got caught up in because of Gortash. Also, de-handment is kind of a theme in his life, at least inside his head.

I have a comic about it planned for the future ;)

What do you mean, that's canonical to the game and everything! He loves the cuck chair!

He is an angsty 29-year old in denial. Your interpretation is still perfectly accurate.

Hates the guy. Hates when Shadowheart Astarion people joke about him being the Drizzt of his generation. Hates the guy like literally any countercultural weirdo hates Taylor Swift or the Weeknd. If he saw him at the line in the grocery store DU drow would find a way to roll his eyes loudly just so he could notice being an asshole.

Stay tuned, I'm cooking 🧑‍🍳

If you're asking about game strats, badly, LOL. Pretty sure I died twice to her in my first run and it was a rough way of being thrown into "serious" DnD combat.

With the exception of a couple of encounters that just so happened to turn out SURPRISINGLY cinematic, I'm just realizing that I actually don't think too often about how most of the fights went in real-time! I imagine Autie Ethel's in particular wasn't one that DU drow went into of his own accord, probably rather at a companion's insistence. That's as deep as I've thought about that personally.

Now... Back to game strats. I personally try to get a surprise round on her however I can by sneaking and shooting an arrow or AOE in her general location, since she always stands on roughly the same spot while invisible. I have my companions spread about the arena so we can take her clones down as fast as possible, and as soon as I identify who the real Ethel is I just have the strongest martial characters wail on her until she begs to be let go. Hers is one of the few fights that is actually pretty dang easy at this point for me - and I SUCK at this game.

That would certainly take a while! But, Bhaalist DU drow does kind of have an end goal, actually.

That might also turn into a comic eventually, but it would a rough one.

He pretty swiftly disposed of her, DU drow doesn't like being talked down to, which Minthara very promptly does. Him (and I, by extension) had very limited exposure to her and she was just kind of a speck of dust in his story in particular. Though I have since grown to adore her character in my proceeding runs where I do recruit her!

I guess if he got an invitation and it wasn't particularly painful to arrive at the venue, sure! He would specially love to take Astarion to Gale's wedding ceremony and purposely upstage him at every at every opportunity, LOL.

Yes. He got pretty freaky with the pain-priest. This is gonna sound like a lie but I made him get naked for it without even knowing there was a buff to be gained (I didn't get it, unfortunately, I don't remember whether I failed a check or if I had camp clothes toggled on, so it didn't count as being truly nude). I wasn't taking the game very seriously and just doing dumb roleplay things to see what would happen, LOL.

And I consider that canonical. I think DU drow saw the opportunity to show off his physique And had a strange inkling that this was a practice he was... Somehow familiar with.

Imagine my joy when Astarion and Shadowheart start having a back-and-forth about my absurd display. That's when i knew those were my people, to be honest.

[tojixz]

Masterlist ☆ Heart Without Beat Masterlist

HEART WITHOUT BEAT: Chapter One

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Reader

Notes: I'm so nervous about starting this series lol I hope it turns out to be something good. And also, I don't guarantee to post often! I've been so busy lately, so forgive me for future delays. One more thing, this chapter was more about contextualizing your childhood, so it can be kind of boring and shit, I really have a hard time starting stories but it will get better later on, trust me! 😭

Summary: You were in good condition in the way you were, without friends, alone, only you and your mother. But how will your life go from now that you've been thrust into a new group of children and those children turn out to be Toruk Makto's children?

Warnings: A little bit of a childhood panic attack, a little bit of blood… I guess that's all? Very distressed child.

Word Count: 4k

Ngaytxoa (n) - Acknowledgment of guilt and regret; apology

'Itetsyìp (n) - Daughter (term of endearment)

'Ite (n) - Daughter Sa'nu (n) - Mommy

Sa'nok (n) - Mother Yawne (n) - Loved

Next

Your mother used to tell you how important it was to have friendships and people to count on during your life. With them, you would never be alone. They would give you directions. But you didn't feel that way.

Having friendships, people important to you, meant that the time to leave would become more painful.

You hadn't lost that many until your present age as a child, only your father whom you also had no valuable memories of. And the reason you thought this way was nothing more than observing how lonely your mother sometimes seemed.

Many times you saw her with a rosary in hand, sad and shaken eyes, along with trembling lips, just whispering to the heavens about her daily life.

Whether she was saying this to the Great Mother, or to her late companion, you didn't know. However, you had no desire to feel that kind of pain. So you assumed that if you didn't have people to care about, you wouldn't suffer the pain of loss.

And that was what you said to your mother when she insists on making you socialize and, every time she was surprised by the way you, just a child, thought. Then she would always give him a tight hug, while murmuring in a voice loaded with sadness, 'It's unfair that you have to think like that.'

But you didn't really care. You always reassured her that as long as you were still together, you were the happiest person in the world. But this only resulted in a shaken look on her face, but as a child, you never understood why.

You were playing alone with some harmless forest critters near a tree, while your mother was nearby picking fruits and herbs for the day's dinner.

You heard footsteps nearby, but just assumed it was other people going about their daily activities, that is until you heard, "What is that stranger doing?"

"Playing with bugs, of course. After all, she doesn't even have the ability to make friends." Laughter followed after the not-so-hidden whispering.

Your ears flopped back and bent slightly at the words, but as usual, you didn't mind the comments and just went on with what you were doing.

You were used to it. It was wrong, but not unusual. The times you tried to talk to other children at your mother's request, it turned out that you didn't make a good impression with most of them. Being too quiet, too explosive and too alone.

You began to be nicknamed various things, and a horrible treatment for a child comes in the package.

Your mother didn't know these things, you didn't want her to know.

Telling her meant that she would have no peace with your worries, and this is definitely the last thing you wanted.

Nevertheless, what was their reason for acting this way? How important was their existence to give them the luxury of belittling you?

You didn't do anything bad, you just wanted to make your mother happy. Why did they make things so difficult?

"Hey weirdo. What are you doing?", one of the boys approached as he looked at you with a mocking look, his friends following right behind.

You didn't want to answer, but you knew how they worked, if you didn't answer, more headache would attract. "Nothing of your interest."

The boy let out an angry snort at the answer. Wanting to touch the wound even more, he didn't give up tormenting you as easily as you wanted him to. "Who taught you to talk like that? Don't you have a father to give you an education?"

You stopped what you were doing and just digested what he had said.

Your mother used to look at you and wonder how you, a small, innocent child, could think of isolating yourself for fear of loss. But if she heard what these so-called innocent children are saying to you now, don't you think she would continue to think that children are such pure beings.

You were once a pure child, a child just wanting to be a child. But from the moment you entered a new social cycle, you realized that the world can be very cruel sometimes.

You would definitely rather keep talking to the bugs on your planet than try to communicate with these ones behind you.

You inhaled deeply, doing your best to hold back the tears that had begun to fill your eyes. The last thing you wanted was to show weakness around them.

"What? Didn't they teach you to talk too-", before the boy could even finish his sentence, you found yourself unable to stop the punch that flew toward his face.

"Don't you ever talk about my father again!!! Do you hear me?! NEVER!". You were so angry, your heart was hurting and tears were wetting your cheeks, you were unable to hold them back. How pathetic.

You just stood there, looking at the boy on the floor who had a bloody nose as he slowly began to scream in pain. His breath was failing, ears glued to your head, and tail lashing out in pure hatred.

Not even a few minutes passed before adults were beginning to circle the area. A woman appeared in front of you grabbing your arm while shaking you. She was yelling at you, asking endless questions. Your arm hurt from the grip.

You were scared. You didn't want to cause your mother any trouble. You were an idiot.

You were able to catch a glimpse in the crowd of a woman trying to make her way through, and as you looked at her, more tears welled up in your eyes, followed by several silent sobs. Would her mother be disappointed to hear what happened?

"Stop, don't hurt her! Ma'Ite!", your mother immediately went to you and took you in her arms, cradling your head as you cried more and more into her neck. You could feel your mother's trembling hands on your head, her voice wavering as she tried to soothe you.

You didn't want to hurt her, you didn't want to see her sad. Your little heart ached to see your mother like this. "Ngaytxoa Sa'nu…", you murmured.

No longer aware of what was going on around you, you just focused your attention on your mother's smell and body temperature.

Would people hate you now? Would they throw you out of the clan? You didn't do what you did out of spite, they were the ones who were mean to you, what fault did you have?

Her mind was full of doubts and fears, but the comforting whispers of her mother were enough to calm her troubled spirit.

"She didn't mean to do that. I'm sure there was a motive behind her actions. She is just a child, please don't blame her."

You were able to hear your mother talking to someone nearby. Presently you found yourself backed into a corner, legs clasped to your chest and face hidden in your arms.

You only brought shame to your mother.

You knew that it would never work to try to settle down with the children of the clan, to make friends. But there was a desire in your heart to see your mother happy, you wanted to make your mother happy.

But you never did the right things.

Your mother was talking to the Olo'eyktan at this moment, who was alarmed because of the great commotion that started after you hit another child.

You prayed to Eywa that your leader would have mercy on you and not kick you out of the Omatikaya clan. Or at least allow your mother to continue living here, she had nothing to do with your actions, she didn't deserve to suffer even more.

Suddenly the next room was silent, and the next thing you heard were soft footsteps coming toward you.

You raised your head to look at the figure in front of you, meeting the gaze of your mother who held out her arms to you as she spread a simple smile on her lips.

"Come on yawne, let's go home." As soon as you stood up, she took you in her arms and placed a gentle kiss on your temple. Your heart warmed at the caress.

"Sa'nu…won't we have to leave?" You murmured, sniffling softly, reaching out your finger to play with one of the beads at the end of your mother's hair.

"Leave? Where to?", as you walked out of the place that appeared to be for Olo'eyktan meetings, your mother asked frowning slightly at your comment.

"From the clan. You see, I have done bad things, they will punish me."

"Oh my baby, no one will go away, we will not go away. They won't do anything to you, I promise."

You were silent for a few minutes, your eyes were beginning to heavy from the calmness you were feeling in your mother's arms. The day was full, you were exposed to many emotions and conflicts. Your little body was beginning to succumb to the overload of the day.

"I just want you to be honest with me, honey. Why did you do that? Mommy won't fight with you." Your mother slowly asked, just testing the waters. She could feel you tense up in her arms and it didn't help to ease her worries.

"It was nothing, really." You hid your face in the curve of your mother's neck. You believed that if she saw you, she would know immediately what happened and you didn't want that.

"Don't lie to your mother." When you finally reached the tent, your mother came in and immediately put you down to begin preparing something for you to eat.

You walked to a corner and sat there, just watching your mother's fluid movements around the tent. You were happy to be in a peaceful environment now.

Your mother let out a soft sigh, sitting down by the newly lit campfire as she peeled some of the fruit they still had stored there.

She was so distraught by the sudden commotion that began around her daughter that she forgot to pick up the items she had been gathering earlier. You were lucky that there were enough leftovers for a dinner party.

"Do you really plan to hide this from your Sa'nok?", she asked quietly, letting you answer in your own time.

You didn't answer right away, eyes beginning to glisten with new tears as you kept a sob from escaping your throat. Your mother was patient, she waited who knows how long until you finally plucked up the courage to say, "They were bad."

Your mother stopped her movements, digesting your words as your heart sank with the meaning. "Bad how?"

Again silence. You were afraid to say it, afraid of what might happen. You just wanted to forget everything and go on living as if nothing had happened. But you know your mother…she wouldn't let it go so easily, especially not after your previous statement. "They call me bad names…and make fun of me for not having a father."

Her mother didn't know what to respond. She didn't imagine that the simple fact that her father was not alive, united to your family, would be a reason for others to hurt her little heart.

She was not as naive as she seemed. She knew very well how cruel people can be, regardless of their age.

It was a fact that she wanted you to make good friends, your mother hated to see you lonely, playing only with her since you were born.

However, she didn't insist so much, because she knew the difficulty you had. But she didn't expect that the difficulty was because others weren't good with you. She hadn't paid enough attention to see how her daughter was suffering.

And this filled her inside with sadness. Your mother didn't know how to respond or how to comfort you. She only wanted you to have a happy childhood, just as she had promised your father, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, 'Itetsyìp."

You looked up in surprise at your mother, who went back to preparing dinner again. "No, Sa'nok has nothing to do with it. It's not your fault." Your voice was a little shaky, your energy was depleted, but you needed to take this weight off your mother's back, none of this was her fault. "Please don't blame yourself."

Your mother sighed again, she noticed how you wanted to avoid the subject, she saw the weariness in your eyes and how your little body trembled slightly. Not wanting to burden you further, especially with your shortcomings as a mother, she decided to end the matter right there. "All right, let's not talk about it anymore. Now come, the food is practically ready."

A few days had passed since the accident with you and the other children. You and your mother didn't receive such good treatment after that, always being surrounded by rumors and gossip.

The truth is, they don't exactly respect you. They just looked up to the brave warrior their father was.

He would be disappointed by the way these people are acting. But it is how it is.

What you were avoiding ended up happening. Several women were glaring at your mother, keeping their children away from you, afraid that you would hurt them too.

Frankly, you were not a monster, you were just protecting yourself in that situation. But as always, people were too ignorant to know the truth, not much could be done.

Despite this, his mother slowly grew closer to Olo'eyktan's family, more specifically, to Neytiri, Toruk Makto's wife.

Neytiri also participated in the conversation between Jake and his mother, and she confesses that she wanted to punish you at first, thinking you were just another troublemaking child. But upon hearing your story, her soul was softened by the mother-daughter family.

The two became good friends and you were glad for it. Your mother was happier these days. The only problem was that both adults wanted to drag you into the Sully children's group, especially Neytiri, saying your kids were great children and would definitely be nice to you. But trying again was not an option.

"Ma'Ite, trust your Sa'nok, they are good children. Their oldest is your age, isn't that nice?", your mother had been trying for some time to convince you to go with her to the Sully family tent. She and Neytiri had arranged to have a little get-together to weave utensils while just catching up.

You were happy with that new friendship, but why were you also a victim?

"Sa'nok, I'll be fine on my own! I don't want to go." You said it again, arms folded across your chest as you gave your mother a dumb pout, trying your best to convince her. But again, it was inefficient.

Your mother knelt down in front of you, took your little hands in hers, and said, "Look, let's make a deal, you go this time, and if they're mean to you, you don't have to go anymore, how about it?"

Honestly, you wanted to deny it again and keep going against your mother's requests. But as you looked into her pleading eyes, you felt a twinge deep inside you. Your mother also seemed to be a child at times, and it was so hard to cope.

Her ears drooped slightly, tail wagging from side to side, conveying her disgust. But all that really came out of her mouth was a low murmur, "That's unfair…".

Your mother hugged you, a warm, loving hug. And then before she said anything, she deposited a kiss on your cheek, passing comfort and protection. "I will be there to protect you, hm? Sa'nu believes you will enjoy yourself."

You just nodded in affirmation. Your mother placed one last kiss on the top of your head, stood up, and took your small hand in hers to start down the path to the tent of the well-known Sullys.

When you got there, you promptly hid behind your mother's legs, while she had one of her hands on your head as a way of telling you that everything was fine.

Neytiri came out to welcome you, and soon her smile broadened as she saw the small child hiding behind her new friend. She made a nod of greeting to her mother, placing her fingers in the middle of her forehead and then pulling them apart. Then she shifted her focus to you. "Hello little one, I'm very happy to see you here."

You didn't know how exactly to respond to the older woman's greeting, so you just buried your face in your mother's leg for protection. You were a little embarrassed in the woman's presence, she was very beautiful.

Neytiri giggled at the innocent action and made way for you to pass. It wasn't exactly the family tent, but it was an open place full of trinkets. It was a comfortable environment where the noises of the forest were quiet and there was also good fresh air.

"My kids are just down there playing in the lake, Jake is looking after them too, you can go down and meet them", Neytiri said pointing to the lake below, sending you a reassuring smile in the process.

You took a step back shaking your head in denial. Starting to feel a sour taste in your mouth, you almost instantly regret agreeing to go there.

Noticing your distress, your mother's figure promptly crouched down to your level, placed her hands on your little face and soothed you. "'Ite. Ma'Ite, calm down. I'm here, see?", she slid a finger on your cheek, staring into your eyes so you could see that everything was all right. "Mama will be here all the time, there is nothing to fear. I promise, and Eywa can punish me if I'm wrong, they won't do anything bad to you, yes?"

She calmly brought her foreheads together, noticing how you were slowly starting to calm down, "I've met them before, they are such sweet children, give them a chance."

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and considering the options you had. You could just run away from there, get out of this confrontational situation, but your mother would be very hurt. Just you going there with her was enough to cheer her up. You had no right to take that happiness away from her.

And also, above all, your wish was to one day become a brave warrior, one of the best in the clan, just like your father. To have a strong and determined heart, to be respected and praised by all, like Toruk Makto.

But how would you do this if just the idea of having to talk to new people scared you? You would never be a good warrior at this rate, after all, there is no way to protect those you are afraid of.

So, with one last inhale of air, you replied in a voice almost like a whisper, "I will, Sa'nok."

Your mother turned away slightly to look at your small baby-fat face, a wide smile opening on her lips. "That's my little one." With a final kiss on your forehead, she lightly nudged you down to the lake, sending you a few more words of encouragement.

Taking one last look back, you've finally started on your way down to the lake.

What seemed like an eternity to you.

Arriving at the site, you were able to see Toruk Makto sitting on a rock near the lake, with a small baby girl in his arms. Her mother said that she was her recently born daughter, Tuktirey. And among the others, the oldest of them was your age, that is, eight years old. You were a little nervous about this, you believed that the younger the child was, the easier it was to handle.

That's because they were less intelligent than you.

You didn't know why, but your mother laughed the time you conveyed that line of thought to her. It was just the truth, wasn't it? She found it surprising how a child your age could think such mature thoughts. Well, they were probably what the circumstances demanded.

As you approached, you noticed how noisy the place was because of the shouting and laughing that the Sully children were doing. They seemed to be having a good time.

Jake was quick to notice your presence there and how hesitant you seemed to be to come any closer. He had been aware of your 'antisocial' situation when he first talked to his mother. Neytiri had also told him that if you ever had the courage to go to them, he should be kind to you and help you to integrate with your children.

So he thought that striking up a conversation with you would be the best option at the moment. "Hi little girl, did you come to play with the hurricanes over there?"

You were slightly startled to realize that the question was directed at you, but your face conveyed an image of confusion at the way he referred to his own children. 'They... were hurricanes?'

You didn't answer in words and just nodded. Jake smiled and held back the laugh he wanted to let out because of his nervousness, it would be mean of him if he laughed.

Then he looked again in the direction of your children and said in a loud voice, "Hey, there's a new little girl here who wants to play with you, be nice to her and include her in the game."

You froze. The three children's gazes were directed at you now. A horrible feeling settled in your stomach.

You still had a chance to escape. Run far, far away from there. But even your legs wouldn't allow it, being pinned firmly to the ground preventing any movement.

One of the children came towards you and stopped a few meters away. He seemed to be a few inches shorter than you, so you assumed he was younger. The boy stared at you for a few seconds, seemingly expecting you to say something, but seeing that you wouldn't, he quickly said, "My name is Lo'ak! Now that we've met, can we go play?"

"You skxawng, she hasn't even introduced herself yet!", the girl, who you assumed was Kiri from your mother's lines, went towards the boy and slapped him behind the head. You could tell that Lo'ak was not very happy with her sister's actions and started a little fight with her. You didn't know whether to laugh or be amazed at the situation.

Ignoring the other two, the eldest among them walked towards you, stopping just in front of you with one hand outstretched towards you as he introduced himself, "My name is Neteyam, it is a pleasure to meet you."

You looked at him with slightly wide eyes. You wanted to laugh at the way he sounded like an adult talking, even though you were the same age.

The other's presence aroused your attention by the way that a "responsible" aura covered him even at such a young age.

You didn't feel so afraid of this boy. He didn't look like a bad guy. At least not like those who had hurt you before. Maybe that was just the effect of being the eldest son of Toruk Makto, the Olo'eyktan of his clan. But Neteyam gave you confidence, and for just a second you allowed yourself to believe that this time there was a small chance it could really work out.

Imitating the strange action, you hesitantly shook his hand as you assumed it should be. With a smile on his face satisfied that you had responded to his actions, Neteyam asked you one last question to finally finish the 'rite' of friendship, and you found yourself secretly happy for the question. One you weren't used to receiving often by others. And so, maybe, just maybe, this time Eywa blessed her with great and good friends.

"So, what's your name?"

🏷: @mashiromochi

A thousand, a thousand pardons for any grammatical errors and if this chapter was really bad 🥲 my days are so busy. And also, as I said, I really have a hard time starting stories lol

Thanks for reading! 💞

｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍓｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍒

[demigodofhoolemere]

Things I can’t stop thinking about from Jamie and Zoe’s Tales of the TARDIS episode

- The very concept of them remembering and seeing each other again in general.

- How pointed it is in calling their mindwipe unforgivable and insisting that they’ll definitely never forget again. I get the feeling RTD or someone else involved in the writing of it has been carrying a grudge against their ending for decades and used this as therapy lol. Relatable.

- The recorder and the reverence with which they both treat it. 🥺

- “I missed him every day of my life. Didn’t even realize it.” 😭

- “I’d still be with him now if I could, trying to keep up with him.” This line hits so hard both because Jamie truly never would have left and because Frazer has said this same thing about himself and Pat, that they’d still be doing it if he were alive and if they hadn’t both been convinced that it was time to leave. My heart.

- This is true of these episodes generally but I love so much that they both had happy and fulfilling lives. Jamie got to have a wonderful big family and Zoe was still able to keep her growth from her travels and escape just being “all brain and no heart”.

- ZOE NAMED HER SON JAMES. NOBODY LOOK AT ME.

- ^ Jamie’s reaction to the above. The way his face and voice go so soft, I can’t deal with it.

- The fact that they were still influenced by their experiences even if they couldn’t remember them. Especially meaningful for Zoe because she needed those experiences so badly, so it’s a relief to see that she was able to use them and carve out a happy life for herself because of them even if she couldn’t remember. It brings such a happy bit of closure to the Doctor’s concerned question, “She’ll be alright, won’t she?”

- “I want to forget about the Cybermen!” with Jamie’s shifty eyes of disdain, lol. I bet he does considering he had to see them more times than any other companion!

- Lovely to hear names like the Krotons and the Quarks, along with a classic Jamie-ism in “wee little beasties”.

- I like the specific reference to Jamie’s face mishap lol. It was probably just to bring up a funny part of the story they just reviewed but it also serves as a nice shoutout to Hamish Wilson who passed a few years ago.

- “Well, who’d’a thought? President and a Highlander sharing stories.” That highlights something I love about the 60s era of the show, how you get people from so many times and places who never would have known each other but come to mean the world to each other. Jamie and Zoe couldn’t be farther from one another in time or background and they never should have met but here they are, both sharing so much love for the other and having had a bond so strong that Zoe subconsciously named her son for him.

- Jamie’s, “I could get used to this,” and happy wiggle in the chair, lol. That felt very Jamie and reminds me of his amusing character arc wherein he becomes more and more attached to future conveniences or technologies or comforts. I bet you could easily get used to it, Jamie!

- Jamie suddenly destroying the vibe by wondering if they could be in Heaven, rofl.

- Hearing them talk about Victoria made me so emotional, partly for the characters and partly because Debbie’s passing is still in fairly recent memory and it very much felt just as much like a tribute to her as for the character. I lost it over Jamie’s emotional face and hoping that she had a nice life. It felt so painfully real, an old man looking back on a girl he once knew and loved in his youth and hoping she lived well.

- These two, generally. I love them so much and this was so healing.

[gwyns]

E/riel’s trying to make their ship about singing now is funny to me, especially because they like to call us Gleeriels. Elain & Azriel being carranam is a popular theory that they have come up with. Some even believe that it is canon even though we have no evidence of that. “I think it's because they are Carranam and their powers "sing" to each other” They have always seemed to have an innate understanding of what the other needed, their powers are complementary (he hears, she sees), their imagery is obviously complementary, it would explain all of the "mate behavior" I really felt like the Truth Teller scene felt like an "exchange of power" when he offered it to her with trust, she wielded it, and then offered it back. They also have similar scents to Rowaelin, and Elucien's bond hits just like Rowan/Lyria.”

Elain and Lucien are actually complementary: she sees things other don’t and his eye lets him see things that others don’t. I thought the whole point of their “forbidden romance” ship was to reject fate?? And now all these theories about a second mate, true mates, corrupted cauldron/cauldron bond, mother bond, carranam bond, and so and so on.

But on a serious note, music/singing is important to Gwyn and also to Azriel. I hope we get more of it from them.

it's amusing because back when acosf first released they were saying "this isn't glee!!!!!" when gwynriels would bring up how both gwyn and az sing. didn't they also include that as a point against gwynriel in their cute little power point, too? oh how the tides have turned

i truly don't understand their thinking with the carranam bond. it's been a hot second since i've read tog but isn't that just a bond where their powers compliment each other and allow them to share magic, if the need arises? what's so earth shattering about that? while, yes, you can be carranam and mates, it doesn't always equal a romantic match

also, in addition to their personalities not complimenting each other, their powers don't either, like at all. elain is a seer and az a spymaster. spying is a skill, not a power lol. one could argue his shadows are his power but that's wrong again! they're sentient beings, as shown in acosf. they're his companions, they choose to serve him. his powers have nothing to do with them

as far as we know, az just has the same killing magic that all illyrians do. tell me, how does that compliment a seer? meanwhile lucien's out here with his magical eyeball that allows him to see through glamours and his mate can see things in the past, present and future that no one else can but that means nothing? ok

yes her being able to see the past is a lil headcanon of mine and not at all confirmed ok shhhh

also elucien being rowan/lyria? LMFAOOOOOOO. this always makes me laugh... do they forget that maeve had a damn good reason to try and keep rowan and aelin apart? who wants to keep elucien apart besides e/riels? nobody cares about their bond to that extent. there's no gain for someone if elain and lucien don't accept the bond

here's the thing about e/riels... i've said it before, and i'll continue saying it, they're massive hypocrites

e/riel was supposed to be about choice beyond the bond and showing how ultimately, the highest form of intimacy within the acotar world doesn't actually mean that much, but now? e/riel are secret true mates because they know that's what sjm loves most

just like they mocked the singing thing until it finally got through their thick skulls that sjm had az reveal this personal detail about himself for a reason

they keep moving the goal posts and get mad when we point it out. but hey, at least it's free entertainment for me!