#except the two in each corner to the right i read all of these btw
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the-acid-pear · 1 year ago
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Obsessed w this post actually. It's hilarious in a way how huge metamorphosis was when fujoshis literally collect these things like tokens.
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lilac-hecox · 11 months ago
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i don’t have a specific request but something with spommy or kimney? congrats btw!
Spencer/Tommy - Spommy - Staff Meeting
*This is inspired by the reading Youtube Comments Sm*sh P*t Theater and the Smoshoffice series and is meant to be silly and wacky
--
“So, just a reminder that we’re all co-workers here and we want to be professional with each other, and while Smosh doesn’t disallow relationships between employees this is still a workplace,” Nate says, fidgeting a little at the whiteboard in front of the conference room. “Questions?” Spencer raises his hand. Nate eyes Spencer warily, but nods. “Spencer?”
“So, how come Anthony can call Ian submissive and breedable but I have to get a warning when I ask Tommy about his penis?”
Tommy, who is across the room, drops his face into his hands. Anthony and Ian are seated next to each other at the head of the table. Anthony immediately turns red and Ian chokes on his cup of coffee, sputtering a little. Courtney is quick to hand Ian a napkin.
“Um,” Nate says, “I guess we shouldn’t really be calling each other submissive and breedable either?”
“That was a joke,” Anthony stresses, his face going a darker pink.
“Yeah right…” Chanse mumbles from the opposite corner of Spencer.
Angela offers her hand for a high five as she lets out a stream of giggles. Chanse gives her a pointed look and shakes his head, and he quickly takes her wrist and lowers her hand for her.
“I want to be clear that Spencer and I don’t really talk about my penis all that much,” Tommy says.
Spencer looks wounded, “I was just worried about you!”
“Anthony and I are just friends,” Ian says, “I want to stress that too.”
Amanda rolls her eyes, “Anyone who thinks Ian and Anthony are really just friends raise your hand.”
Spencer glances around to see not one person in the meeting has raised their hands except Ian and Anthony themselves.
“Well fuck,” Ian says.
“You two were cuddling in the bean bag chair in your shared office,” Shayne points out.
“We got tired from writing the new sketch!” Anthony says defensively.
“You called him hot yesterday,” Damien adds.
“I’m hyping up my best friend!” Anthony insists.
Ian’s face is red.
“Angela said she knows what Damien sounds like when he has sex!” Anthony retorts.
“That was one time!” Angela snaps.
Damien groans.
Nate is quickly losing the room and stands nervously in front of the lot of them.
“Guys, bring it back in- “
“Courtney said the other day that Garrett is ‘kinda daddy’!” Ararsha says.
Courtney’s eyes widen, “Arasha!”
“Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.”
“Yeah, well you said you would take Amanda to O-Town!” Courtney says in return.
“Oh,” Amanda says the same time Arasha huffs.
“Guys!” Nate says.
Spencer stands and he can hear Tommy groan.
“I’m in love with Tommy!”
Zoe bursts into the conference room and flicks the lights on and off suddenly, gaining the room’s attention.
“This is an office and not middle school so sit down and let Nate finish, please.”
The cast takes their seats and Spencer feels his face get hot. He doesn’t dare to look over at Tommy, his confession hanging heavy in the air of the room.
The meeting ends with Nate scheduling everyone for a mandatory workplace conduct training. Afterwards, Spencer is at his desk, pretending to work while silently freaking out.
“Hey, um, Spence, you busy?” Tommy asks, drawing Spencer’s attention from his computer screen.
Spencer wants to say yes, but he blinks and then shakes his head.
“Not really, what’s, um, what’s up?”
Tommy moves and sits on the small couch that is in the game’s office hub. Spencer rolls over closer to Tommy, scared of what the other man might say after Spencer confessed to his feelings during their morning conference meeting.
“So, this morning…was that, uh, a joke or do you really feel something towards me?”
Spencer feels his face getting pink and hot.
“I, um, like you a lot and I get if that’s weird for you and you hate me now or- “
“As if I could hate you,” Tommy says, fondly, a smile on his face.
“You don’t?”
“I think you’re an idiot, but like, in a puppy kind of way, you know?”
“Don’t you hate dogs?” Spencer says.
“Dogs but not puppies.”
“So, there’s a chance here?” Spencer asks, a smile on his face.
“Yes, but no more asking about my penis in public,” Tommy says.
“Deal,” Spencer says, “but does that mean I can ask about it in private?”
Tommy laughs, “I mean, I hope so.”
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odinsblog · 1 year ago
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So I took an unexpected trip down memory lane today. Something I haven’t thought about for almost two decades…
After work, I decided to avail myself of the nearest happy hour with some acquaintances, and me being me, ofc the conversation eventually turned to politics (generally a no no for me, but what can I say - blame it on the alcohol, right?)
Someone I’ve known for some years now, a white person, abruptly asked me if I had ever seen an actual burning cross before. If I’m being honest here, my initial instinct was to be angry at them because we don’t know each other like that. We were in a large group, and while I know he didn’t intend to, it’s “innocent” questions like that that put Black people on the spot. Kinda like asking the only Black student in a classroom full of white people what their thoughts are on slavery. Don’t get me wrong, some exceptionally gifted Black people would knock that question outta the ballpark. But many of us, caught unawares, might struggle to find all the right words. Even though I’ve taken many such public speaking classes to prepare me for just such an eventuality (extemporaneous public speaking is part of my job, currently), not everyone is prepared to be an on-demand public speaker. And definitely not on such personal subjects.
Anyway, I was actually kinda vibing with the mood in the bar and I didn’t really feel like making a scene, so decided to pull my “friend” aside to answer him.
And here’s where I got dragged down memory lane.
I was in high school. I don’t remember the exact year, but it was before I graduated, so that puts it somewhere (maybe a year or two) before 2002.
I went to the great (racist) state of Alabama, and the city of Shorter, for a week long visit with my then-girlfriend and her folks. Absolutely NOTHING could have prepared me for the abject poverty I had read about but only then witnessed firsthand.
I was born in Florida. I literally have memories of walking blocks and blocks barefoot on hot asphalt to go to the nearest corner store. BUT … Imma city boy at heart. Because of my father’s job, we were constantly moving all up and down the West coast of the country. I’ve lived and gone to schools for at least a year in major metropolitan hubs like NYC, Boston, Raleigh, DC, Hartford, Philly, Atlanta, and Nawlins*, etc. When I arrived in Shorter, it was the first time I had ever seen dirt roads that were the major routes between (Black) inner cities. The very first night when I got there, THE FUCKING SHERIFF (literally the only white person I saw in my week long visit) made it a point to stop by my gf’s moms house because, “I heard we were getting a fancy out of towner here today,” and even though I wasn’t a full grown man yet, I can still remember the feeling of incredulity and utter disbelief I had in those few minutes of being interrogated by the mf sheriff, who btw, arrived at my gf’s moms house with his lights on and sirens blaring. If you’re wondering, yes, he was white, and if I had to do a sketch of him today, it would look EXACTLY like the sheriff from that old tv show with Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke. “Dukes of Hazard,” I think.
And later that evening, the first time I had to go to relieve myself, I asked my hosts where the bathroom was, half asleep , the youngest brother, a kid of about 9 or 10, took me by the hand, led me to the back door, and pointed into the darkness at some weird looking treehouse a few yards from the house’s back door—except there was no tree and whatever it was that I was looking at was on the ground. I said, “No, where is your BATHROOM?,” and still half asleep, again he pointed at the weird looking tree house and said, “That’s it.”
I walked out, still not knowing exactly what to expect when I got closer to whatever it was in their backyard, and when I got close enough to recognize the smell, I stopped dead in my tracks … was this … waitaminute … is this an OUTHOUSE??!! I held my nose and cautiously opened the door, and sure enough, yes: it really was an outhouse. Like for real. In real life. I didn’t want to be rude, but there was no fucking way in hell I was going to take a dump in an outhouse. I went back to the house and awkwardly asked if there was another bathroom, and I was a little bit amused when he said, “Yeah, if you want, I can walk you over to the neighbor’s house and you can use their outhouse.” It turned out that everyone in the hood had outhouses.
I’m not sharing this to dunk on Alabama, it’s just what happened and it was all incredibly jarring for me. Shorter, Alabama was incredibly poor at the time, and there was no possible way for me to be prepared for all of the abject poverty I witnessed firsthand. And, lol, it’s not like I grew up wealthy or anything. But this was the norm for where I was visiting. I would later learn that my gf’s mom sent her daughter to Florida literally for a better life that she couldn’t provide her. My gf lived in Florida with her (comparatively) “very wealthy” aunt and uncle, who lived in what was essentially one step up from the projects. Truly some heartbreaking shit. I was humbled, but this experience gave me perspective like no history book could ever do.
AND YET …… I was a young teenaged boy, who was far away from home with his girlfriend, who I believed I would one day marry, so I somehow managed to brush almost all of that aside, because while my gf’s mom had to work double shifts at the dog track, we were assigned a chaperone—and he was literally thee coolest older cuz’n everrrr. He went out of his way to make sure my gf and I had enough time alone to make out pretty much whenever the mood struck us! Things were a little rougher than I had anticipated, but the time I had alone with my gf made it worth everything.
And then one night, Cuz’n Feaster (yes, that was his real name) took us to a hole in the wall bar. Don’t worry, he didn’t take us inside or give us liquor or anything, he just went inside for about an hour and left two teenaged virgins COMPLETELY alone in the backseat of his Chevy. FOR AN HOUR!!!
And when I tell you that we went all the way, I mean we went ALL the way—to third base!! Hands everywhere exploring everything, heavy kissing and making out! WITHOUT ANY SEX. (We were both two good little Pentecostal kids who had taken a stupid “purity” pledge, what did you expect?)
HA! But I will never forget that night though. I can still hear “Do Me Baby,” by Prince playing on the radio. Good times, man.
But I was telling you about the first time I saw a burning KKK cross, right??
So when cuz’n Feaster finally came out of the “club,” it was super late and dark outside. I remember him and my gf laughing at me because my neck was craned up looking out the window like a dog with the window rolled down. There were absolutely no lights outside on the road. No streetlights, no road lights, no house lights, no nothing except for the headlights and the stars above. I couldn’t believe all the stars I could see. I even recognized part of the Milky Way. It was an amazing sight. An amazing ride home. And an amazing way to top off an amazing night.
I was young, I was in love, I was happy and holding my girl’s hand, the stars were out, and just… Everything was perfect. Perfect.
And that’s when we started getting closer and closer to …. something?? Burning in the middle of an open field? As we got closer and closer, for the second time on my trip, my eyes and my brain recognized what I must be seeing, but my mind couldn’t comprehend or accept what it was: an enormous burning cross in a field, with men in white pointy hoods. It was the Klan!! I couldn’t fucking believe it. This was something that I knew and understood existed, but that was supposed to be history book stuff, right? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“Feaster, is that…”
-The Klan? Yup, that’s them. Leave them alone, and they’ll leave you alone.
Pfft! I scoffed. Messing with Black people who aren’t fucking with them is pretty much their job description.
And he and my gf were sO fucking calm about it. They acted like they saw that shit every day and twice on the weekend. BUT MY BLACK ASS WAS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.
“Feaster, we’re all Black! What if-”
-Calm down. They do that all the time. And even if they wanted to, nobody can catch me in this car.
And my only thought was, we’re all gonna get lynched and die because this fool thinks his car is faster than bullets. We had to drive RIGHT BY that cross. I know it was probably my imagination working triple time, but it looked like it was 100 feet tall. It was less than a football field away, and that cross was burning so bright that it turned nighttime into daylight, disappeared all the stars, and I could very clearly see men in white robes holding guns. I was fucking terrified. Talk about sights you won’t ever forget. And Idk why, but the fact that Feaster and my gf were so damn calm about it just really added that extra something to my freaking out. It was unnerving af.
Me and my gf caught the bus back home to Florida the next day, but yeah, that was the first (but not the last) time I had ever seen a KKK cross before. Such a mix of emotions, that night was.
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stardustinthesky · 2 years ago
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take it downtown. babylon 5. delenn, john sheridan. the elevator has doors. except it’s full of people. continuation of we can take it uptown. you should really read that one first. i mean it, this one starts right off where the other fic left them.
rating: R. you’ve been warned.
muse-ic and title: say it by madeaux
disclaimers: i own nothing, just playing in the sandbox for a little while.
@ddagent, this is all your fault btw. also, i checked and still no plot in sight.
Read at AO3 or continue under the cut
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He suggests Fresh Air for dinner.
They cross paths with some of the command crew on their way out of his office; John purposely avoids the curious stares and yet, he can’t help the grin on his face.
The express elevator is empty when they board it in Blue Sector. It stops two floors down for a couple of pak’ma’ra.
And then it seems to just stop at every floor. She’s seen a flooding once, when she was young, just outside of Tuzanor, and this looks just like it.
John grabs her by the hips and draws them in the far corner as more people continue to get on the elevator. Her body presses against his; she feels him smile against the side of her face. He’s in that kind of mood.
And so is she.
He’s wanted to repay her in kind for performing oral sex on him in his office, but she hasn’t wanted to push their luck. He’s been loud enough as it is for his command staff to hear and she fears that she wouldn’t have been any more discreet. Someone was bound to come and check in on him at some point and she wasn’t going to risk it.
Not that she never entertained the idea herself; she’s spent many times fantasizing about sex with John, which involved many positions and many locations across the station.
Present location included, except less crowded. Way less crowded.
John’s hands rest dangerously low on her hips. For once, they don’t stand out; there are usually so many people in this kind of high-traffic elevators on the station, it’s hard to tell who’s who. Except for the person at the front redirecting all the attention to himself.
Londo Mollari.
The lights suddenly flicker and the elevator lurches to a stop. The emergency lights turn on and everyone groans. Someone near the command panel manages to get Maintenance. Fifteen minutes. More groans.
‘I am telling you, I got stuck in one of those damn things once, and I almost died! We can’t trust Human engineering, they are a death trap, yes?’ Behind her, John snorts against her shoulder.
In front of her, a Centauri and a Narn scowl at each other. There’s movement somewhere in front of them; she instinctively takes a step back and presses herself even more against John.
‘Delenn.’ His voice is deliberately low, almost like a warning. Despite the three layers of her traditional outfit, she can definitely feel him against her butt; arousal shots straight down to her belly. She thought she had it in control, thought she could wait until they would find somewhere more private. Now it seems neither of them can.
Maybe having dinner first wasn’t such a good idea after all.
‘Sorry.’ She’s not, not really. All she wants now is to get off the elevator and find the nearest and fastest way to his quarters, or hers, whichever are the closest.
‘Don’t be,’ he whispers against her ear. His fingers brush the underside of her breast. The heat that’s been building up settles even lower. Humans have a saying for this kind of situation: fuck.
Which doesn’t help her calm down at all; she really wants him to fuck her. She should have taken him up on his offer, whatever he had in mind, back when they were alone in his office.
‘What I mean is,’ she keeps her voice low enough so that no one picks up their conversation, ‘I’m sorry we’re not in your office right now.’
His grin widens, if that’s even possible. His hand slips under her overcoat and ventures further up on her breast. ‘That bad?’
She grips the hand fondling her breast, hard. She keeps her gaze straight ahead; all those people in front of them look at the stubbornly closed doors, blissfully ignoring the people behind them. The quiet chatter is overwhelmed by Londo’s monologue about Centauri engineering and how this would never happen on a Centauri space station. Some feign interest, others just ignore him.
John runs his thumb over her nipple. Even with the layers of clothes, it still makes quite the effect. She sucks in a breath. ‘Worse.’
There are quite a number of ties and knots on a traditional Minbari outfit such as the one she is wearing, but he patiently works the ones from her waist down loose. She’s glad she’s gone without tights for once. Has to admit she didn’t have the purest intentions in not wearing them today. Not after last night.
It doesn’t disappoint.
He parts her robes and his hand slips in her panties and she has to bite her lower lip very hard to keep quiet. Besides them, the two pak’ma’ra seem to be sleeping standing upright. The Narn and Centauri before them continue to scowl at each other, never breaking eye contact.
Stroking and exploring her sensitive folds, he finally parts them, finds the small bundle of nerves at the center, rubs and— Valen help me. She’s still quick enough to turn the resulting moan into a cough, though.
No one bats an eye.
Behind her, John chuckles. ‘Oh, I love you.’ Surely, if someone was to look over their shoulder, they would notice. She’s pretty certain the look on her face says my lover is getting me off right now.
They joked about creating a diplomatic incident earlier in his office. That, at least, she could have explained. Now, on the other hand, how do you explain this very public sexual act in an elevator with your Human lover while there are two, no three, ambassadors in it?
He thrusts one finger inside her, then two. She bucks against his hand, but the other one still her hips. She’s doing her best to keep her breathing in check but it’s getting trickier with each thrust. Standing up like that in the confined space doesn’t make for the best angle though, especially with him behind her, so he goes back to stroking her instead. They’ll have time for more later, she is going to make sure of that.
She throws her head back against his shoulder, closes her eyes and licks her lips. She no longer cares if someone looks at them and knows. His breath is hot against her face, his hand is working pure magic on her. ‘You close?’
Mm-hmm. She doesn’t trust herself for anything more at this point.
His lips find the pulse at her neck. To think that he was, not even twenty-four hours ago, complaining about having people in her living room while they had sex in the other room. Ten minutes ago, he was coming into her mouth and now this. Maybe they’re just losing their minds over each other.
She will certainly not complain. This is a very pleasant way to go mad.
He rubs, strokes, circles. The pressure between her legs grows almost unbearable. She slides a hand up his neck, brings his head level with hers, and turns her face toward him. She stifles her moan in his mouth as she comes, the orgasm rolling over her in waves as he helps her through it.
They continue to kiss long after it’s over. Their lips part with a loud smack but Londo chooses the exact same moment to burst into laughter, prompting others to join him. She will have to thank him for that some day.
She watches as John removes his hand, his fingers slick with her. One look around and she sucks a finger into her mouth, swirls her tongue around it, tasting herself. He swallows hard, releases a shaky breath. ‘You really don’t play fair, Delenn.’
Good. ‘Do you sill want to have dinner at Fresh Air?’ She certainly doesn’t.
He shakes his head, his erection pressing firmly against her. ‘No. Do you?’
‘No.’
He helps her back into a more respectable look, fixing her outfit as best they can. The red emergency lights suddenly give way to the usual bright white ones, and the elevator whirrs back to life, resuming its course, to everyone’s relief.
Londo catches their eyes from the opposite end of the crowd. ‘Captain Sheridan! Delenn! See? I told you these elevators of yours were terrible!’ Several heads turn in their direction.
At the next stop, everyone is told to disembark. They’re in Green Sector, only three levels down to her quarters. They pass by two maintenance agents on their way out; deep in conversation, they don’t pay attention to the people exiting the elevator, much like they’re ignored by the newly-freed denizens of the station.
‘You know, I had the strangest request coming in from Command earlier. They’re thinking of installing doors to Sheridan’s office.’
—end
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ghostofhallownest · 1 year ago
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listen idk if it’s worth the discourse but like…y’all remember in 2014-2016ish when queer infighting on this site was at a new height? how “activism” was bullying asexuals and aromantics and “weird” genders and neopronouns (well, except the “acceptable” ones)? how respectability politics turned into a reason to tell kids to kill themselves, or that being raped would fix them, or that they were straight/“basically” straight and therefore unwelcome, how “the A stands for Ally” was a preferred position to including aroaces in the LGBT umbrella…i could continue, but the trauma our own community inflicted on its own members isnt the point.
i think we act as though that era of purging our community of unwanted members under the guise of “activism” tapered off and was relegated to extreme corners of the internet. however…tumblr’s leftist politics don’t seem that different to me? the posts i see are reactionary, with little willingness to accept that even overtly bad things are complicated. they’re excuses to be angry and to have that anger fueled and validated because so many of us are angry and feel powerless, and posting feels like doing something; it’s “activism” as “spreading awareness” but…i don’t think it’s productive?
so many of the posts i see spouting leftist theory buzzwords are just…repackaged purity culture and respectability politics and are so far removed from the way the real world operates as to be useless except as ragebait.
it’s not only morally wrong to encourage imperfect allyship, it’s a symptom of gaslighting from said potential ally. anyone with a lukewarm opinion on queers is just as bad as the fascist who wants us dead. children refusing to cut their parents off because of their queerphobia and conservative beliefs are blinded by attachment to an abuser. “he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit” is dying out; if your dad is conservative but working on your pronouns and slowly working on your friends’ pronouns but he still thinks Reaganomics will save us all, he wants you dead actually and you should cut 👏🏼 him 👏🏼 out👏🏼 !!
everything that happens online is obviously 100% reflected in real life, so you can’t write or draw or even think that; did you know op of this fandom gifset is a terf, aren’t you going to delete it, aren’t you scrupulously checking yourself, it’s your job to manage who sees every single user’s content btw, and if you dont ur probably a terf or at least as bad as them.
idk guys. is this not what conservative echochambers also sound like? their radicalism is morally reprehensible, ours is pure and good and necessary, right? right? because Evil and Good are the only two categories and everything fits neatly into each, right? “the reading comprehension on this site is piss poor” as a badge of honor is funny haha but when conservatives get facebook brainrot that’s a symptom of conservatism and not something we could ever fall victim to ourselves…right?
god, im so tired.
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egopocalypse · 2 years ago
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Two Years
So as some of you may know, today is the two-year anniversary of me starting Gone Away. It's been a wild ride since I first came up with the idea, and while it's nowhere near finished (we haven't even gotten past the first act), I wanted to take some time to recognize the day and something else truly special about it.
First, I want to thank the people who've spurred me on during this journey. Without them (especially a certain someone who knows who they are), I wouldn't have even finished the first chapter, let alone written over 80k words for it. The Secret Keepers have been my lifeline, and your enthusiasm and dedication to my fic has motivated me every day to keep going and share a story y'all would be proud of. I'm excited to add more to your number, and for the secret to (eventually) be revealed to the public. It's going to be chaos. ;)
Second, I want to give a special shoutout to the person who's responsible for all of this happening, and for a very special reason. Because not only is it Gone Away's two-year anniversary, but it is also @seaswalllow's birthday. Aiden, you are the lifeblood of Gone Away. From day one, you've been the person I've always turned to for brainstorming, for motivation, for the passion to go on, and more, and you've been there every single time without fail. I genuinely cannot thank you enough for all you've done for me the past several years, especially in regards to Gone Away, but I want you to know that I appreciate you so fucking much each and every day. I love you <33
Next, I want to thank all the readers whose curiosity had them take the plunge and start reading Gone Away. Whether you bailed after Chapter 1 or are eagerly waiting every day for Chapter 9 (which I'm sorry about, btw), you've made a huge impact, and I hope that when Gone Away is finished, it'll be a fic you can look back on fondly that left an impact on you as well. :]
And finally, at Aiden's request, I will post a sneak peek of what's to come for Gone Away. See you in Chapter 9. ;)
“That day, at Tommy’s funeral,” Sapnap says, “Karl said we were meant to save him. I didn’t know what he meant until now.”
“Sapnap–” 
“No, Tubbo,” he says. “If we had been there for you, for both of you, none of this would’ve happened. We should’ve followed you two. It was clear Dream wasn’t the same after Doomsday—fuck, even before it—and if we had been there, we could’ve stopped him. None of this would’ve happened.”
“You’re right,” Tubbo says. “None of this could’ve happened if you came. But we don’t know what would’ve happened if you did. Maybe he would’ve killed more people. Maybe he would’ve killed you! Maybe he would’ve called in that stupid favor with Technoblade early and it would’ve been a slaughterhouse. But maybe you could’ve saved us. Maybe you were meant to, but you didn’t.”
Ender, if Tubbo doesn’t wish they’d been there. He can almost picture it: a stream of people piling out of that nether portal and cornering Dream in his own Trophy Hall, protecting both Tubbo and Tommy from getting hurt or killed, seeing for themselves the hurt Dream planned to inflict on all of them for his own selfish desires. Maybe he’d be the one in the prison instead. Maybe he’d be dead.
Maybe Tubbo wouldn’t have the nightmares that overtook his public execution.
“You didn’t, and that’s something we have to live with,” Tubbo says. “There were reasons why you didn’t. I think everyone except Tommy was in denial of what he was capable of, and that’s because he experienced it first hand. But it’s nothing we can change now, no matter if we want to. Just like Wilbur can’t take back blowing up L’Manberg, and I can’t take back exiling Tommy in the first place.”
Sapnap grips the dirt clinging to the edge of the cliff. It crumbles under his grasp.
“You can’t control the past,” Tubbo continues. “At one point, you could’ve, but that time’s over now. You can’t control the future either because it hasn’t come yet. All you can control is the present, and what you do in it. Staying idle and hoping someone else will take care of it ensures nothing gets done. If you don’t do anything, you can’t blame other people for not helping, either.”
“I know,” Sapnap says. “But I wish I could.”
Tubbo grimaces.
“We all wish we could change shit,” he says. “But the only thing we can change is what we do next time.”
Sapnap bumps Tubbo’s shoulder. “When did you get so smart?”
“Experience, I guess,” Tubbo says. “Though I don’t think anyone can say they don’t have any now. We’ve all been through shit.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Sapnap vows. “Next time I see him, it’ll be my blade going through his neck.”
“I hope it is,” Tubbo says. “You’re the one who has the best chance.”
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fratboykate · 2 years ago
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So i'm very new to these parts (came from ao3) and i just want to clarify a few things lol is the kyau the ao3 fic? is it all on ao3 or is there extras in the tags here? and is the kyfbau exclusively on tumble? is there like a masterlist to read it in order? or is there no real order to read it? what/where is the periodau? and what does cfau stand for? It's clexa right? :) whats the f? lol Also Clara Oswald is perfection
KYAU (On AO3) [There's DEFINITELY a lot of extra shit on here that is not on AO3 but it's just spread out through the tag so it's hard to pinpont]
CFAU (On AO3) [Stands for Clexa Family AU - an INSANEEEEEE amount of extra shit and resources that are just on here]
KYFBAU *is* exclusively on Tumblr. There is no masterlist unfortunately. It's all in the tag. The way I would recommend reading it if people are trying to get into it is open that link on browser, scroll all the way to the bottom, and read it in reverse order. I've been looking for posts sometimes where I click the tag here on mobile and expect it to be there and it's nowhere to be found. Browser and that link is the best way to guarantee you're seeing all of it. (Same goes for all the other stuff I'm about to link)
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Period AU (this is just the general, catch all tag so no specific stories here btw) is basically soulmates throughout the ages. Two people who have been meeting each other since the dawn of fucking time but keep getting it wrong. The general premise is that we see grand love, insurmountable obstacle, tragic death but these two dumb, madly in love hoes are like "Fuck that, I want more time, we deserve it, DO OVER!" and they keep coming back for each other until they can get it right. As many times as it takes. Rinse and repeat. "Whatever life I'm living? It's purpose is finding you."
Here's the five main points in time that I've decided to write about:
1) KYGAU - 150 BC, Capua/Roman Empire, Roman Times. - Yelena is an iconic Gladiator and Kate is the daughter of one of the most important Roman Senators. They fall in love. It changed later, but during this period in history, Gladiators are the scourge of society so…daughter of a senator and gladiator mingling ISN'T GREAT. IT'S BAD ACTUALLY.
2) KYNAU - 8th Century, Vikings/Northumbria (UK), Early Middle Ages. - Yelena is one of the Vikings who raid England. She's this iconic fighter who is basically royalty back home. Think Lagertha from the show Vikings. Kate is literal royalty in Northumbria. She's the daughter of a duke who is like the fifth in line to the crown. Very NOT COOL of her to be hanging out with one of the invaders lol.
3) KYIAU - 1300s, Siena (Italy), Middle Ages - Basically, Guelph and Ghibelline love story. Yelena is one of the best painters in the city. Kate is a rich girl who just moved there. Then the Black Plague hits. Shit goes down. Basically...Romeo and Juliet vibes-ish except they're not dumb and kill themselves a week into knowing each other lol. But rich families who can't stand each other and them even being in each other's proximity would be SIN.
4) KYFAU - Late 1700s, France, French Revolution - Their husbands were part of Louis XVI's court and they spent SO MUCH TIME fucking around every corner of Versailles.
5) KYVAU - 1868s, New York/Chicago, Victorian Era - Victorian AU lol. It's kinda pretty straightforward...
Again...if you're reading any of these you have to open in browser and scroll all the way to the end and read from the bottom up. It's the only way any of it will make sense.
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jadedxrealityw · 4 years ago
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-Meeting The Family- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader
    ☼-🐍-☼
     Request: hi darling, how you doing? can i request a draco x reader where is draco going to her house on christmas break to meet her parents? maybe she has a younger brother who is quite jealous of her and draco together? just something very fluff and funny !! thank you, i love your work btw ❤️
     Kody: YESS. I’ve been waiting for something like this for the sole purpose that i’m going to make the reader a Weasley!
     Year: 7th
    House: Gryffindor
    Possible Triggers/Warnings: Fred and George being the best siblings, Molly being Molly, Draco being literally terrified of the Weasley’s, a little bit of the spice spice at the end. 
    ☼-🐍-☼
   “will you stop pacing? Your making me nervous” you grumble, watching as the platinum blond hair boy walked back and forth in your dorm room “Your nervous? Your not the one meeting your girlfriends whole bloody family today” he snaps at you. 
    he walks over to the edge of your bed and sits down, putting his face in his hands “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you” he sighs deeply. You crack a smile and walked over to stand in front of him and take his hands into yours “It’s alright, but i’ll be there so there’s nothing to worry about. They’ll love you”
   Draco scoffs, leaning his head against your stomach “They have every right to hate me, my father is a horrible person to them and they’ll think i’m just the same as him” he spoke. You had never seen him so worked up over anything before, except for maybe when you got injured by a werewolf in the woods. 
    you purse your lips before sitting comfortably on his lap “Draco. You are nothing like your father and you will show them that. So stop moping okay?” you watch his eyes for a moment as he nods his head “Okay darling. I won’t mope. I just hope your right about this”
   “I’m always right”
    ☼-🐍-☼
    today was the day, you had put on a blue, burnt orange, and brown striped sweater with blue jeans. The Weasley aesthetic really while Draco wore a emerald green sweater with black jeans (ik hawt). You stood in front of the burrow, holding his hand “Here we go” you spoke.
   you reach up to knock a couple times and the door swings open. It was Fred with a candy cane in his mouth. He looks at the both of you and nods once “Hey Y/n and Malfoy. I’m Fred by the way, not George. Just so you know” he sticks out his hand and Draco takes it. They shake hands. That’s a good start.
   he takes the candy cane out of his mouth and points behind him “Let’s head in shall we?” he says and you smile. As you both step in, you could hear everyone talking “Is Charlie here yet?” you turn and face your brother. Fred’s face drops and he shakes his head “He said he got busy with work.”
   you nod slowly, your expression dropping “Oh, okay” you shrug. “Y/n!” you hear a familiar shout and watch as Molly and Arthur come from around the corner. You let go of Draco’s hand and walk up to them. They both embrace you tightly. You pull away from them and walk back to Draco.
   you could tell how tense he was when he saw your parents. “Mum, Dad. This is Draco” you say and slowly brought him up to them. Draco cleared his throat before speaking “Hello Mrs. and Mr. Weasley. Thank you so much for inviting me” he spoke. So polite. 
   your mother smiled warmly at him as well as your father “Well, were glad you came. Seems like our girls like Slytherins” Molly let out a laugh. You raise a brow “What do you mean?” “Hey Draco” you both turn to the right and see Pansy Parkinson come out of the hallway. Oh right, Ginny’s girlfriend.
   Draco smiled kindly, she was his friend after all. “hey Pans” he replies. Pansy waves before disappearing into the living area. “Now, you two join your siblings in the living room while we finish dinner” Molly spoke and leant down to kiss your forehead before leaning with Arthur “I think that went well”
    Draco nods “Me too”
    ☼-🐍-☼
    “Percy, don’t be such a buzzkill and take the candy cane” George sat next to Percy, jabbing him in the side with the peppermint treat. Percy just rolled his eyes and continued to read the book we was holding. You chuckle as you sat on the sofa with Draco, his arm wrapped around your shoulders.
   It was certainly a full house tonight. Molly, Arthur, George, Luna, Fred, Percy, Ginny, Pansy, Bill, Fleur, Ron, Hermione, you, and Draco. You wondered where you would all eat considering your family table could barely fit the kids who already lived in the house. “Your family is much different than mine” Draco whispers to you.
   you turn your head to face him with a smile. “Yeah, we’re definitely stranger then other families” you laugh quietly, a grin forming on his face. “I like it. I’m so used to the quiet that i forgot that actual families talk and hang out with each other” he spoke, his eyes glossing over a bit as he looks at the tall christmas tree.
   you reach into his lap and grab his hand, bringing it up to your lips to kiss his knuckles. “I hope i don’t make you feel as alone anymore” you spoke with a small frown on your face. Draco shook his head and with the arm wrapped around your shoulders, he grabs the back of your head and pulls you into a kiss.
   it was sweet and loving. To bad you had shit for brian brothers. “Hey hands off Malfoy! No snogging my sister while i’m here!” Ron shouts, causing you to pull away from the kiss. Hermione seemed annoyed with her boyfriend and pushes his shoulder “Y/n can do whatever Y/n want’s get over yourself Ron”
   George and Fred both choked back laughter then actually choked on candy canes. Idiots. Ron grumbled something and crossed his arms. What a child. After more talking you had the urge to go to the bathroom and laid your head in the crook of Draco’s neck “I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom. Okay?”
   Draco nods and places a hand on your thigh to squeeze it gently before unwrapping his limbs from yours “I’ll be back. Be nice. All of you” you gaze at all your brothers because Ginny at least knew how to be nice to Draco. You give a sharp glare to Ron before you leave the living room.
   Fred watches as you walk out of the room and like a pack of dogs, every single Weasley sibling crowded Draco. He thought he was going to be murdered on the spot as his grey eyes widened. Bill smiles lightly and holds out his hand to shake “Hi, i’m Bill. Anyway as you probably know were missing a Weasley tonight”
   Draco grabs his hand and shakes it “Charlie, right?” he says and all there heads nod. Oh this is so creepy. “Right. Well you see Y/n is really close to Charlie, but she hasn’t been able to see him for almost three years and such, so Fred told her he’s not coming, but we plan on surprising her when we open gifts”
   a small smile graces the Slytherins face- wait. “Why are you telling me this?” he questions and Percy speaks up surprisingly “Because you make our sister happy and considering you both are graduating next year, we figure your  going to be around more often and- so welcome to the family Malfoy”
   Draco was in complete shock as Percy spoke, considering he thought Percy hated him the most. Y/n was right. “Thank you. I also want to apologize for my fathers behaviour towards your family as well as mine in the past. It took me awhile to see you guys the way Y/n does”
   the twins shake their heads “Don’t worry about it. Your dad’s a real piece of work. Y/n tells us your mum’s nice enough though” they spoke in unison. Draco nods “yeah, she’s not judgemental” he reassures. “Anyway, we hope your having a nice night though. Right Ron?” Bill turns to face the younger Weasley.
   Ron looks at Bill and shakes his head, but Bill hits his shoulder “Yeah yeah whatever. We hope your having a blast” Ron then tore away from the group and went back to sitting with Hermione on the other sofa, mumbling something along the lines of ‘snogging his sister’ 
   a couple minutes later you came back into the living room and were pleasantly surprised to see Bill, George, and Fred chatting with Draco who seemed to be smiling brightly. What a sight. You lean against the doorway and watch as he interacted with your brothers. 
   you watch as they all went to sit on the floor so Percy, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, and Pansy could sit down and chat as well. Who would thought the Slytherin prince would get along so well with your family. “You guys seem to be having fun” you say as they turn to look at you. 
   you look to your left to see Ron sitting alone on the loveseat with a scowl on his face. You wave the group off before going to sit with your brother. He looks at you then the floor “Y/n” he spoke and you smiled lightly “Ron” you say in the same manner. “Why aren’t you sitting with the rest of them?”
   Ron scoffs under his breath “Why should i? Malfoy will never be friends” he comments and you reach up to lift his face, making him look at the group laughing and talking. “Look at Percy. He’s the most stuck up person i know and he is having a blast talking to Draco and Pansy. Why do you have a problem?”
   Ron sighs and pushes your hand away “Because your my sister. Yes, i know Ginny is to, but we’re the same age you and i. I can talk to you about anything, but ever since you and Draco got together. It hasn’t been you and i. It’s been you and him. What’s gonna happen when your married? I’ll never see you”
   you frown. You didn’t know Ron felt this way at all. It wasn’t as surprising though to be honest “Ron. Your my brother and i love you dearly. I’ll never forget about you or George, Fred, Percy, Ginny, Bill, and Charlie. Your my family. If your ever feeling alone. Just talk to me, okay?”
   your words seemed to cheer Ron up. He nods and looks over at the group once more “Let’s do this.” he said and stood up.
    ☼-🐍-☼
    after dinner the whole family including the lovers were in the living room again, passing out gifts. You watch as a square shaped box decorated with orange wrapping paper and a red bow floated from out a room and into each and every ones laps “oh wow, i wonder what these could be” 
    George spoke sarcastically before getting wacked on the head by Molly. You chuckle and look over at Draco who stared at aw in the christmas gift in his lap “Are you alright my boy?” Arthur spoke up. Draco looks up and nods eagerly “I’ve never gotten a real christmas gift before. My mother snuck me sweets and such, but never anything like this”
    Molly gave Draco a look of solace before smiling “Well, i hope you enjoy this one! Now kids open them up!” she shouts and you all start to rip open the wrapping paper and you saw a deep red sweater with your first initial on it. Every year. The Weasley kids slip on there sweaters “Thanks mum!”
   after slipping yours on, you look over at Draco who had a emerald green sweater in his hands with the letter ‘D’ on it. He looked excited as he takes off his quidditch sweater to put on Molly’s. “Do you like it Draco?” you spoke “i absolutely love it” he a wide smile spreads across his face.
    Luna got a baby blue sweater
   Hermione got a deep red one as well
   Fleur got a white sweater
   Pansy got a emerald green sweater as well as Draco.
   Pansy slipped hers on and nods smugly “i look awesome. I’m never taking it off. You’ll have to kill me first!” she exclaims as Ginny laughs beside her “She’s not joking either” Luna pulls the sweater over her head and wraps her arms around herself “So warm” she mumbles in her soft voice. 
   George smiles brightly and wraps his arms around her “Your so cute” he says before kissing the side of her face. Fleur looked down at the sweater on her and smiles warmly “I adore it” she spoke in her thick accent and Bill nods before grabbing her hand to kiss her knuckles.
   Molly clapped happily “I’m so glad you all like it. Now me and Arthur are going to get the christmas cookies from the kitchen. We’ll be right back out!” she announces before leaving the room. Everyone began to talk amongst each other and while you were distracted Draco snuck off into the kitchen.
      ☼-🐍-☼
   “Um hello” he spoke up. Molly turns around and places the icing bag she was holding on the counter. “Ah Draco! Did you need something?” she asked, waving her hand for him to step closer. Draco walks over and immediately felt a cold shiver run up his spine. He was nervous.
   “I wanted to ask you both something?” he says, gulping. Arthur and Molly look at each other before smiling “Sure, go ahead” Arthur spoke. Draco takes a deep breath to calm his nerves “Me and Y/n have been dating for three years now and i know we only just turned 18, but i wanted to ask for your blessing to marry her when the time is right”
   Molly gasped loudly, before covering her mouth “Oh Draco! We would be more than happy to give you our blessing. She talks about you all the time and you had been nothing but kind to her and our family. I know you are much different then your father. you’ve learn to accept and adapt”
   Draco felt as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he smiles “Thank you so much. Uh- can i help ice those? If you’ll teach me how?” he laughs nervously and Molly nods.
    ☼-🐍-☼
   ten minutes later Draco came out holding a tray of cookies with your parents. You smile lightly at the sight. How cute. He places the tray down on the floor where the group sat and everyone began to much on cookies, except for Fred and George. Where had they gone off too? Draco takes a seat next to you.
   he hands you a cookie and you smile, taking a bite “You snuck away to ice cookies with my parents?” you ask, laughing a little. He nods with a smile and pecks your lips quickly, “Seemed fun” he replied nonchalantly. You roll your eyes and continue to eat your cookie in piece.
   after everyone ate one Molly shot up from the sofa and gasped “Godric! We forgot Y/n’s present outside!” she exclaims, causing everyone to look at her. You tilt your head “What present?” you ask. “We all pitched in and got you a present. It’s so big we have to show you outside” Arthur spoke.
   you were now thoroughly confused as everybody made there way to the front door and walking out. Draco grabs your hand and lifts you up from the ground. You both walk outside and see George and Fred on both sides of a tall present, wrapped in orange paper with your name written in red ink.
   you laugh nervously. What was going on? “Um- do i open it?” you ask and Ginny nods, pushing you forward “Go on! Open it!” she shouts. You watch as George and Fred walk away from the present and behind you. “we suggest to pull the red ribbon then step back” George points out.
   you chuckle with a confused expression before taking the end of the ribbon and tug it once. You hear a couple clicks and step back quickly as the box falls apart. A tall male with orange hair and a red sweater with a ‘C’ smiles at you. Charlie. You watch as he steps out the box and opens his arms.
   “Hello my little dragon” he smile brightly as you ran up and tackled him into a hug. He lifts you off the ground and spins you around as you cling onto him. After a couple seconds he lets go and eyes you up and down “You’ve gotten so tall! and your hair is different. I also hear you have a boyfriend” he teases.
   you smile widely and nod “Yeah. He’s hear. Um- Draco!” you turn around and call for your boyfriend who steps towards you, holding out his hand “I’m Draco Malfoy” he says politely as they both shake hands “I’m Charlie! I hope my little sister hasn’t annoyed you too much. She’s mental this one”
   you huff and wack your older brothers arm “Hey! Don’t scare him off!” you shout, making Charlie laugh. He shrugs his shoulders “I don’t think he’s going anywhere. Your in for the long hall Malfoy. Welcome to the Weasley’s!” he exclaims and Draco smiles as he wraps an arm around your shoulders.
    ☼-🐍-☼
   the party came to an end and everyone made there way to there perspective rooms. There was surprisingly enough room for everyone, to be fair your pretty sure that your father used a spell to add some extra rooms of some sort. You put on black and white flannel pants with a black crop top, as well as a dark grey jacket.
   Draco had on a black t-shirt and his boxers. You yawn as you began to fold up your sweater and place it in your trunk. You feel hands wrap around your waist and pull you close to his chest. “I had fun tonight” Draco mumbles against the skin of your shoulder since your jacket had slipped down your arms a bit. 
   you smile and lean your head back to look at him “You did? I’m happy. I’m also happy i got to see my brother” you spoke with a warm smile. Draco hums in response and slowly begins to pull the jacket off of your arms “I promised my mum no funny business while were here Draco”
   he smirks and begins to place sweet kisses on your neck “You may have promised that, but i didn’t darling” he rasps. You feel one of his hands run across the exposed skin of your stomach as his thumb traces the hem of your pants. “Why are you always horny?” you asked.
   “I don’t know? Have you seen yourself?” he chuckles as he spins you around to face him “Come on darling~” he coos and dips down to kiss your collar bone. “I-” “-Goodnight Y/n. Goodnight Draco!” you heard Charlie, Percy, and Fred shout. Oh those little shits.
   you flush in embarrassment and sputter out a goodnight back as Draco growls in frustration. “Cockblockers” he snarls, making you laugh. “Don’t worry, there going to do it to every couple in here. Didn’t expect Percy too though, just listen” you say and Draco keep quiet to listen.
   “Night Ginny. Night Pansy!” 
   “Go away were busy!” Ginny shouts
   “Sleep tight Fleur and Bill!”
   “You all are insufferable!” Bill yells making you snicker a bit
   “We don’t have to worry about Ron and Hermione. Ron has got like zero game” Fred speaks and they all laugh.
   “Hey i heard that!” Ron shrieks in offense.
   “Sleep well George! Sleep well Luna!”
   “You guys can’t pull this shit on me! Shove off!” George shouts and you hear a door slam.
   “Goodnight” Luna says. What a sweet girl
    ☼-🐍-☼
   Kody: I hope you enjoyed this one. I really liked writing it! Anyways peace.
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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 4 years ago
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🕯Anon said: hi sweetheart 🕊 can you write about armin having a quiet night with the reader? something like wearing comfy pajamas, fairy lights, cute little candles, incense, soft songs and maybe some reading? and they just cuddling? 🥺 i think about that whenever i go to sleep and do all of the above, but i'm just by myself lmao anyways, thank you so much 🌸 (btw i'm the anon who asked you about the armin x painter!reader 🥺 hello 🥺 i just love how you write can we be friends please) 🕯
Quiet night with Armin
{ Armin x Reader | tw:none | sleep help, comfort, fluff | modern }
Tumblr media
{ "Twilight, Valley of the Genesee" 1865 by Samuel Colman 1832 - 1920 }
Shimmering golden hues weaved across pastel blue walls in the form of strings, crossing the bookshelf before making a turn at the plants corner, illuminating the room with a soft warm glow.
Your head rested against the satin pillow, just right above Armin's shoulder, close enough that you can see the rise and fall of his chest with every breath. The ends of his hair ghosting over your cheek whenever he leaned to tell a particular clever line of the book he's been reading to you.
You can't exactly remember the name of it, but you can clearly recall his excited smile this morning when showing it to you.
"It's one of my favourites" he said, "the last time i got to reread it was in high-school, has it really been that long?" And that's all you can remember from the conversation before it got sidetracked by him asking if you had lunch yet.
There's definitely something to be said about rereading a book over and over again, a sense of familiarity, an attachment to the characters, plot and world setting. It's almost magic how quickly your comfort book, show or movie can turn a horrible day into a nice one, making it the silver lining.
Looking at the way Armin would pause for a second after some lines, or chuckle at random scenes, like it's an inside joke between him and his mind, you can tell he's definitely recalling some good memories.
Just like how he's adding to his list of comfort memories by sharing this experience with you, he wants you to be a part of this silly book he once picked up as a child and continued to revisit every few years.
You glance at the remaining pages, just as he flips another one to start anew. You've already finished a third of the book, only a quarter remaining.
It's not that you're getting impatient, but it's more that the soft blanket draped over you, the warmth of Armin's body pressed next to yours and the sound of his voice, are all luring you into a hazy cloudy state where your eyelids feel too heavy and turning your head to check the clock seems too exhausting.
How long has it been? since you curled up against him right after you went to put your empty hot chocolate mugs in the sink.
You don't have the heart to tell him that your brain stopped registering the words he's saying and instead listens to the tone of his soft-spoken voice and reacts accordingly. Stealing another glance at the remaining pages, you notice a few missing, okay good, just a few more. You can hold on right?
Right?
Forcing your eyes open, you suppress a yawn threatening to rise before curling even closer to his shoulder, face against his neck, hand over his chest.
Instead of focusing on his calming heartbeat, you try to focus your attention on different things, like the smell of snowdrops flowers filling the room from the scented incense sitting on the nightstand. 
Snowdrops, the milky bell-like flowers who befriended the cold harsh snow herself.
An ancient German tale that Armin told you, on one early spring morning. When the universe was just in bloom, as the earth shaped its form and the plants dressed themselves, when the god in the heavens above just created snow, she was told to go seek her colours from the flowers below.
She came with her request, but the flowers turned their heads, refusing to acknowledge her for she is the reason for the harsh weather, deeming their life spans short, overzealous and jealous, protecting their colours from the merciless lady snow. 
She was left all alone, friendliness, colourless with no love or sympathy from a soul.
Except for one, came knocking on her door, head bowed down and humbly offered to share. Snowdrops were the flowers that warmed the snow's heart, and so white was the colour in which snow was known.
Snow made a vow, to always protect her one and only friend, even from her own self. Under her watchful gaze, snowdrops were gifted with warmth that let them be the first flowers to bloom when winter bid her goodbyes as spring was arriving soon.
You've never seen snowdrops the same since, their delicate and shy nature standing out between all the proud flowers, you even suggested planting some to Armin.
"...but sweetheart" you remember him saying with a frown, " snowdrops are poisonous."
Yeah, and so getting their scented incense was the second best option available.
You hear the sound of another page being turned, fewer left to go, just hold on a bit longer.
Wondering the room with your eyes, your gaze fell on the straw sunhat hanging from the on the back of a chair. It's Armin's favourite, he'd always wear it when the sun was particularly bright that day.
you remember him saying it was a gift from his grandpa when he was a child.
His grandpa...didn't you visit his farm a few months ago?
...yeah you did, you can recall clearly, how you were:
Squinting your eyes to avoid the bright sun, you wiped the sweat collecting on your forehead before leaning your head back against the wooden wall. The occasional passing cool breeze distracting you from the dryness in your throat, even after moving to sit in the shade your skin still felt too hot.
The grassy fields in front stretched wide before ending in white pained fences, where the crops patches for vegetables started.
The sudden gentle waves of cool air against your skin made you glance to the side, where Armin was fanning you with his hat, while holding a tray with two ice filled lemonades in his other hand.
"Are you sure you don't want to go inside?" He said, sitting next to you before handing you the cold drink, "you've already done a lot, I'll do take care of the rest."
You've been helping Armin with the farm work since sunrise, feeding the animals together and watering the crops, saying you're exhausted from the scorching hot sun was an underestimation.
And yet, somehow Armin seems unaffected. Not a sign of being bothered as he sat there next to you with his rolled up sleeves and cuffed pants, the slight flushing to his face was the only thing he got from the sun.
"Yeah, I need to lay down a bit." You remember saying, after emptying your drink in one go.
"If that's the case then-" setting the tray aside, Armin patted his lap while looking at you, "Come here."
Too tired to protest, you layed your head on his thigh, feeling your back stretching and the cool air from his fanning was already making you feel better.
"You know, there's a story my grandpa used to tell me about the sun."
An Australian folklore, about a time when the earth was merged in absolute Darkness, when even the stars refused to light up the sky.
Eternal darkness was the fate of humanity, as people were spent their lives carrying torches to light up their way.
Gnowee was an alone mother in a forsaken world, left to fend for her little son. Each day while he slept safely, she'd venture into the the fields in search for plants or seeds. Knowing very well that's it's a matter of life and death if she couldn't come back with something edible.
Each day she'd come with whatever she could find, feeding it to her son even if it meant sleeping on an empty stomach.
But with food scarce and the abyss looming at every corner, things were harder each day.
One day after rocking her child to sleep, she quietly left with her torch to dig for yams she saw on her way last time. Retracting her footsteps, it was a long journey but she knew it'd be worth it.
And so she walked and walked till she reached the place, began digging the ground but dirt and mud was all that she could find. But she couldn't just go back to her son empty handed, and so she wandered far.
She wandered so far in fact that she reached the end, not the end of her journey but the end of the earth itself.
Somehow, in someway she managed to pass from under it, her will for her son to live another day far greater that anything, and so she emerged from the other side.
The void.
Where nothingness lived.
Looking at the vast empty space, she didn't know where she was, the line between the ground and walls was so blurred that she thought she's floating.
Panic and dread filled her mind as she raised her torch higher and higher, attempting to clear a path for her to see. For she had to go back to her son, all alone sleeping by himself.
Climbing the sky was her only solution, as she wondered the world, unknowingly lighting up a path with her as she went.
"And so the Sun Goddess wonders the sky above, in search for her son." Armin told you that day, before offering you his own lemonade to drink because he was still worried about you.
...
You can't recall how that day ended, you think you might have fell asleep on his lap right after.
The fairylights on the wall reminded you of the clear stars sky you've seen while on the farm, his grandfather was a really sweet guy too.
With your mind still coulded in drowsiness, your hearing was also delayed apparently, since you just noticed the book in Armin's hold was closed with him staring at you with a smile instead.
Moving so he could set the book on the nightstand, Armin turned towards you before pulling you closer to him, making sure the covers don't slip off of you. He cupped your face, stroking your cheek with love in his eyes.
"I'm sorry baby, did I take too long?" He said, glancing at the clock behind you answered his question. 
You shook your head, murmuring a slurred "it's alright." 
Posture visibly relaxing, he gave your cheek a small kiss before resting too on the pillow next to you, a yawn escaping him.
With half closed eyes, you saw him cuddling close to your chest, features softening as he bid you goodnight. Your hand moved to stroke his hair just like he always liked, lacing your fingers through the soft strands you closed your eyes too. 
Warmth took over you, the feeling of his soft breath near your neck, the comfortable weight of his arms around you, the slow ticking of the clock, it all rocked you to sleep as you happily gave in.
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marshmallowprotection · 3 years ago
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Oh gosh, that post about Saeyoung and his characterization made me want to clap! I once had an argument with one fan who was bashing on him for... 'loving his brother more than he loves us'??? That literally made me feel weirded out. Like, damn. And yeah, a lot of people make him seem more cruel, than he is in canon. I think there's a similar problem with Suit! Like, yeah, he was acting aggressive and harmful - that's undeniable. But... he never really directly hurt us? It's more bark than bite. Well, maybe except for that bite and pushing us on the floor, but in fanon it's always way more extreme than that. I read a few fics where he literally tortures mc and enjoys it, and... it always felt so wrong to me. And I love dark scenarios! I have a few aus myself, but there's always some outside force, that makes them act this way. Like, I can imagine him isolating us or locking us in the room. But I literally cannot imagine him, for example, tying us up and hurting us directly. I genuinely don't believe he's capable of that... Maybe it's just my interpretation of him, I don't really know.
But yeah, I've seen a lot of people in my native fandom, who hate Choi bros, cause they... care for each other?? It's so confusing to me, as a huge Saeyoung fan. Like, his love for his family always made me appreciate him more, why would it push someone away? Of course he should put Saeran first - he's in a cult for Gods sake! It did made me feel a bit upset at the time, when in the Secret Endings we barely got any interaction with him, but it wouldn't feel the same otherwise. I first fell in love with Saeran during the Secret Endings, cause I related to him so much at the time. I just remember crying my eyes out reading his inner thoughts. I think that's why Unknown and SE Saeran are my favourites, haha. And all of that wouldn't be possible if the story was only focusing on our romance with Saeyoung!
So yeah, sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to express my opinion on the matter. I think false characterization is a pretty annoying problem in all fandoms. And that's just Saeyoung and Suit! We could discuss literally every single character in mysme here lmao
Sorry for my huge essay btw I really should be sleeping right now, but I read that post and just couldn't resist ahaha
It's always something, y'know?
Yes, they're angry and bitter, but it hurts to see people think that's all there is to their character. I don't know how many times I've had to go and explain to people that Suit Saeran is afraid. He believes anger is a sword and a shield, if he cries first, they can't make him cry.
It's not a healthy mentality and it hurts him greatly, and he knows that even if his malice was meant for him, you suffered. He apologizes and you're there to say, "I know, I forgive you, and I hope to stay by your side as you heal and become better for yourself."
Suit Saeran is able to say he fucked up. He wasn't right to do what he did and he pays for it. He may say that he likes seeing you cry and be upset, but he doesn't. He just can't admit vulnerability. He just saw Ray get basically torn limb from limb for loving somebody, of course, he's not okay right now.
He locks you in your room, but God, he'd never tie you up or physically beat you. I know why Cheritz added in the bite to that VN itself because it gets them paid for adding in those elements, but I don't care for that, myself. Because I can't see him lashing out in any physical way. Emotionally, yes, but not physically.
If you pay attention to what happens, the only time he touches you is the bite, when he pushes you against the ground, and maybe if you want to count when he nudged you against the wall? But, I think that last one was more him making you walk yourself into a corner.
And it's worse with Unknown because... God, it's so twisted up and it makes me sick. People should write whatever they want to write and enjoy that content, but if I had a dollar for every time I opened a story about Unknown and it turned into Torture Porn, I'd be rich and upset at the same time. Unknown and SE Saeran were also what pulled me in during 2016, so their characterizations mean a lot to me.
Unknown isn't like Ray or Suit Saeran. He doesn't care for you like those two do. You're his eyes. You're a tool. But, he still finds a sense of amusement in you. You're interesting to him. That's just... yeah, it's going to be a mess when you consider him in romance, but it doesn't need to be as grimdark as I've seen for years. I don't even wanna get into that because I'll just get upset. I just wish people tagged things properly because I get so disheartened looking for Unknown stuff and it's just. that.
And Saeyoung gets this rough, too. People will make him out to be the joker that he doesn't want to be. Yes, he loves to play pranks and have fun, but that's not all he is. Don't just lump him off as that one thing. Saeyoung did what he had to do for Saeran in the SE. I'm sorry that he closed himself off again. But what choice did he have at that moment?
Leave Saeran in the hospital to die? Because if he kept lashing out, he was going to get more attention and focus. Not even Jumin Han can protect Saeran from that. He can't. Saejoong would've found him and he would've been fucked royally. Saeyoung made a hard choice, take his brother from the hospital because if he didn't, Saeran would likely die. Yes, that was a bad choice because Saeran needs therapy and specialized care, but he had two options. Let Saeran die or try to help Saeran himself.
It was a mess.
It was a horrible mess but they made due. I personally imagine them to be getting therapy after things settle and they're able to do what they need to do. God, just. Yeah. Fanon is going to happen and there isn't a lot anyone can do. This happens to every character and we're all just going to cry.
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tommydarlings · 4 years ago
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She's a maniac | t.h
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A/N: Finally it's here!!! Like I already said, when you can't read stuff like that, then please don't even try it!!! It could be really 'dangerous' for your mental health! Btw, I do not 'support' any of these serialkiller's! I just really love the topic! I hope you like this one as much as I do, anyway, enjoy! :) ily,liz <3
pairing: serialkiller!reader x Tom holland
warnings: swearing, talking about serialkiller stuff?, talking about murdering, talking about other serialkiller's, nearly sex? brief mention of necrophilia
w/c: 3.9k
Requests: CLOSED
Summary: Tom and his family are watching a live footage of the most dangerous women on earth, it's disgusting what you've did, but does he fall in love with you anyway? Well, yeah.
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masterlist || taglist || requests ( in my masterlist)
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"Tom, darling can I turn the TV on?" Nikki asked as she sat on Tom's couch. "Yeah, of course mom" he answered before Nikki turned his TV on. Dominic and the twins came out of the kitchen with a big bowl full of popcorn and sat down next to Nikki. "Are you guys coming?" Dominic asked from the living room while he looked at the kitchen. "Yes, we're coming dad!" paddy answers right before he and Tom came into the living room and sat down. "Any movie recommendations?" Sam asked his family. They all shook their head before Harry said, 
"Isn't there any good stuff on the TV" the redhead said quietly. Nikki zapped through the channel until she stopped at one. "What's that?" Tom asked as he looked at the screen that just showed a room with two chairs and one table in it. It kinda looked like a live footage. "Um… what is it called?" paddy asked after a while. They all shrugged while Tom took the remote and spoke up, 
"It's just called 'the most dangerous woman on earth - y/n y/ln" they all looked at each other with confusion written on everyone's faces. "Maybe the title does have nothing to do with the show? serie?, I don't know" Dominic said after a while. Suddenly, a police officer came into the room and spoke up, 
"Test, test, is the camera on?" he said while he looked at the camera in the corner of the room. So it is live. They all though. After a few seconds, the officer nodded and sat down onto one of the chairs. Suddenly someone opened the door and two police officers walked in with a woman in an inmate suit and handcuffs around her wrists. The police officers sat her down in the other chair and left the room. 
"Do you know her?" paddy asked quietly. They all shook their heads and went ahead with staring at the TV without any clue about who this woman was. Who you were. They all watched you with curious eyes. 
"So dear miss y/l/n, could you please explain to me what you have done?" you let a tiny but at the same time wicked laugh before you answered his question, 
"Do you want me to answer that question in detail?" you said. The officer shook his head and told you to go ahead telling him just the most important things about what you have done. "Well, in total I killed six men" you told him with a shrug. "What else have you done miss y/l/n" you smile before you said, 
"I followed them, I seduced them, I killed them, not more" 
"Not more? Well these pictures tell me otherwise" the police officer said before he opened a file and took six pictures out of it. He put them infront of you and you looked at them for a few seconds before the police officer spoke up again. 
"Would give me the honor and explain every single picture to me please?" the men asked teasingly. You shrugged before you accepted it and started to explain. 
"Men number one, Andy Richardson, he was an alcoholic, a stupid little motherfucker, I seduced him and then I hit him a few times with a crowbar on his head before I buried him in the woods" you smiled. "Men number two, Nicholas brown, he was an abusive dad and husband, one of the worst, I slid his throat and let him drown in his blood, just like he deserves it, then I took his body and laid it in his bathtub so it looked like suicide" and so on and on and on, with every single men got the police officers mind just more and more disturbed while he imagined all these things the man had to go trough. 
"Did you had any sexuall activities with the corpses afterwards?" the police officer asked you. You laughed before you leaned forward and answered quietly, 
"I'm honest officer, no, I didn't had any, not with a single man but I had my own little playroom, not the same like Christian Grey, but in my playroom, the men screamed, cried and begged too" and then you leaned even more forward and whispered, 
"Just like in Christian Grey's, and it was so much fun" you whispered with the biggest smirk ever. 
"This girl is sick" Nikki said while she shook her head desperately. "She has to go to a therapist quickly" Harry said after a few seconds of silence. They all agreed except for one person. Tom. He was so whipped. He thought that y/n was gorgeous and just breathtaking. But at the same time he felt extremely bad for thinking of her in that kind of way. She is a fucking serialkiller, she killed six men with her own hands. That is so disturbing and sick. 
Suddenly you stood up and walked around in the small room. "What are you doing miss y/l/n?" the officer asked. You shrugged before you answered. "I'm just walking around, is that a crime?" 
"No, but what you did to these men is a crime" 
"But probably a good one" 
"What exactly do you mean with that miss?" 
"This case is probably the best you ever had, right? You don't have to answer officer, I know that my case is the best that you ever had and that I'm basically your biggest trophy on the shelf. I'm your career break" you smiled widely. "How-how do you know that?" the officer asked while the fear started to rise in him. You laughed quietly, almost like the devil in person. 
"I studied this topic a lot, you know, serialkiller, crimes, murder, I studied all of this for years, so believe me when I tell you that I know much more about every single case and every single crime that was ever committed in the history of serialkiller's than you ever could" you said loudly and proud. He shook his head slowly before you laughed nervously and looked at you,
"I don't think so miss-" but you interrupted him immediately,
"You know officer, I maybe was really bad at school, like reallyyyyy bad, but when you believe that you know more about that topic that I basically live for, then think again mister, do not underestimate the things that I could do and especially the things that I know about the topic of serialkiller's, because I'm pretty sure that we both know by now that I have much more knowledge in that topic than you could even dream of" you told him smugly. The officer was shooked. He was frozen, he couldn't even look at you right now. He was fucking scared-
"I could hang there one day, haha" you said while you laughed and painted at the wall where pictures from other seriakiller were hanging. He looked at you with confusion on his face before he answered, 
"But first of all we have to take a picture of your face-" 
"No, no, no, not a picture of me, my head, my head could hang there one day you know? Haha, that would look so funny, my pale face hanging on the wall while blood is dripping down my throat and my eyes wide open while I stare at you. Ever. Single. Day" you said while you still stared at the wall with an amused smile on your face. 
"O-okay, i-I have a few questions now" he said quietly. "Go on sir" 
"favorite Serialkiller?" 
"Ted bundy" you answered immediately. 
"Why?" he asked while he looked at you. "He was a fucking genius, he was like the second jack the ripper the only problem was that he got caught, he was basically my inspiration and my role model. I loved him" the officer just sighed and went on, 
"A Serialkiller you don't like?" 
"Charles menson, he was a pussy, he just hired people to do the shitty job for him" 
"When and how did Ted bundy got executed?" 
"On January the 24th 1989 by the electric chair, easy" you laughed. 
"What kind of murderer was Jeffrey Dahmer?" 
"A cannibal" you answered smugly. 
"Who was John Wayne gacy?" 
"He was pogo the killer clown" 
"okay, what is necrophilia?" 
"Having sexuell intercours with a corpse" 
"Who is Richard ramirez?" 
"The night Stalker" 
"What is the quickest way to kill somebody?" 
"Either you shot him directly in the head, between his eyes or you slid his throat with a beautiful. sharp. knife" you whispered. 
"Why did you dismember your victims?" 
"Because it's fun, it's calming and even though it's a mess, in my way it's a beautiful and hot mess" 
"So you think that killing and dismember man is a beautiful and hot mess" 
"Torturing" you answered quickly. 
"What?" the officer asked. 
"Torturing. You forget that. You said 'killing and dismember' but I tortured them too, and that was even more fun" you laughed quietly. The police officer nodded while he though about the awful things you have done with your own hands. 
"You are disgusted" you said quickly while you looked him deep in the eyes. "What?" 
"You are disgusted from the things that I have done aren't you?" you asked with a grin. "How-how do you-" 
"Like I said, I know everything, you can't beat me in that topic, bundy was a fucking genius, ramirez was not that bad either, Dahmer was maybe even better than him but I'm, I'm the fucking goddess" you answered with the biggest smirk the police officer ever saw. He was really terrified to death now. He shouldn't be, but he was. "Do you have a family? Do you have kids?" you added. 
"Yes, yes I do have two kids" you hummed quietly before you spoke up, 
"We serialkiller's are your husbands, we're your son's, and your children are gonna be dead by tomorrow" you whispered without any emotion in your face. And that was the moment were everyone realized that you are cold. "I know that Ted bundy said that he is the most cold hearted son of a bitch you've ever met, but believe me when I tell you that I'm more cold hearted than he could ever be" you whispered. 
"I know that there's an age difference, but budy and you would have been the prefect couple" he answered. You laughed loudly. "But when wouldn't have lasted long" he raised his eyebrow. "Why?" 
You slowly leaned forward before you answered, 
"Because I would have chopped his dick off and took his eyes out and then I would slowly and maybe even gently cut his throat until he drowns in his own blood" you said quietly. Everyone was shooked and terrified to death. The police officer and everyone infront of the TV right now. 
"What is your family thinking about you?" this question surprised you. You didn't expected it all. 
"They haven't contacted me yet" you said while you looked at the wall behind him. 
He just nodded and wrote something in your file. 
"This girl is a fucking maniac" Sam said while he stared at the TV with wide eyes. 
"I think I'm gonna throw up" Paddy said quietly. 
"Yeah, sick bitch" Harry agreed with his brother. "I'm not sure if I'm able to sleep alone tonight" paddy said with pure seriousness in his voice. Nikki looked at him and hugged him tightly before she spoke up,
"Don't worry my love, she's never going to come near us, I promise" she told her son while Dominic nodded his head, agreeing with his wife. 
"Tom, are you okay?" Harry asked his big brother. Tom snapped out of his daydreaming zone and answered quickly, 
"Yeah, yeah of course" he said. "It's disturbing, I know, unbelievable that women like her are even allowed to sit in this room, she didn't even deserved that" Sam told his family, but Tom couldn't even focus. He was so stunned by your beauty, what is bullshit because he definitely shouldn't, is he doing it anyway? Is he daydreaming right now how your lips would feel on his lips? How your hands would feel on his biceps or how your hands would feel when he would hold you tight-
"Tom?!" Dominic yelled. "What?!" he yelled back. He quickly apologized before his father said, 
"We're going now, okay?" Tom nodded quickly and gave them all a quick goodbye before he went to bed. Still thinking about her. "Fuuuuck" he whispered to himself while he laid in bed and rubbed his hands over his face. "Fuck it" he said before he grabbed his phone and searched her up on Google. "Holy shit" he whispered as he saw what else she had done to these men."They didn't even discuss half of what she had done in the live footage" he said quietly to himself while he stared at his phone screen, reading all the awful things that you had done to these men. He was terrified but at the same time was he… fine with it? He couldn't give a fuck anymore, he just wanted to go to sleep now, when that's even possible now. He's gonna start filming spiderman 3 soon so he has to wake up early tomorrow. Let's wish him luck. 
---
"Tom!, Hey holland!" Jack yelled from his trailer on set. They were currently back on set, filming Spiderman 3. Tom walked to Jack's trailer and said, 
"Yeah, what's up Jack?" 
"I actually want you meet someone, one of my closest friends, actually she's my best friend" Tom looked at him curiously. "I thought that I was your best friend" he said sarcastically. Jack just laughed before he answered, 
"You are Tommy, but she is my best friend too" Jack said. "And who is she? Do I already know her?" he asked him. Jack scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Well, yes, you probably know her but you never met he personally" 
"Why are you so nervous all of a sudden?" Tom asked Jack with a little laugh. Jack shrugged and answered quickly, 
"I'm not nervous, it's just that I'm a little bit scared" he admitted quietly. Tom looked at him with confusion all over his face. "Why?" 
"Well, she's… special?" jack answered nervously. Tom just nodded with his head before he answered, 
"She can't be that bad jack, c'mon" 
"Okay, but you have to promise me to not freak out and run away" 
"O-okay?" Tom answered but it sounded more like an unsure question. "How about we meet up all together? Like zendaya, Jacob, you and me? At her house?" 
"Yeah, that's fine with me" Tom answered before he got called on set again to gon on with filming. After a few hours of filming, Tom went to Jack, Jacob and zendaya. "So is that okay for you guys?" Jack asked the group. "So, you pick us up at about 2 p.m?" zendaya asked Jack. He nodded quickly before Tom spoke up, 
"As long as she's no Serialkiller or something like that, then it's fine with me" he laughed loudly while Zendaya and Jacob joined him. Jack remained silent. 
Oh, if they would only know… 
---
"When are we here?" Jacob asked from the backseat. Tom sat in the passenger seat while Jacob and zendaya sat in the backseat. "Soon, in about 10 minutes we should be here" Jack answered. They all groaned but then nodded with their heads. 
"What is her name?" zendaya suddenly asked. Jack opened his mouth but he couldn't get a single word out. "Are you okay mate?" Tom asked his best friend. Jack nodded quickly before he answered zendaya's question. "It's uh, uhm… y/n?" he told her but it sounded more like a question. "Are you nervous? It's just a name jack you can chill dude" Jacob told him with a tiny laugh. "Yeah, you're right" Jack said. "Can you just please promise me that you won't run away? Or cry? Or yell at me or at her? Please, I beg you" Jack added. "Again Jack, why should we be scared?" Tom asked him. "I just-I don't know okay? You will see" Jack said quietly. They all looked at each other curiously before they all fixated their eyes on the road again. 
--- 
"Finally" Tom said while he stepped out of the car quickly. "Wow, the house is really pretty" Zendaya said. Jacob nodded with his head slowly before jack spoke up, 
"You ready?" he asked the group. "Yes Jack c'mon" Jacob answered quickly with a laugh. Jack scratched the back of his neck again. Something that he's doing when he's nervous. Jack knocked at the door three times before a women opnend it. 
It was you. Y/n y/l/n. The most dangerous women on earth and one of the biggest serialkiller in history. 
You smiled at Jack before you said, 
"Jacki my darling, finally you're here, who are they?" you asked while you hugged Jack and looked at the three of them. They all remained silent and just stared at you like you were some kind of alien. 
So obviously everyone knows who you are. 
They all obviously knew who you were because of the little footage. That by the way kinda went viral. Since that day, everyone knows and fears you. Especially men. So that's the reason why you are obviously single, who would have thought? 
"Come in, come in, please" you said happily. They all stared at you and then quickly at jack for a moment before they entered your house. "Do you guys want something to drink?" you asked them all while they sat down on your couch. They shook their head slowly before Jacob whispered into Tom's ear, 
"I-isn't that t-the-" 
"Yes it is Jacob and now you better shut up before she may kills us" Tom whispered back at his friend while he stared at your figure standing in the kitchen. "Don't you want to introduce your friends to me jack?" you asked him. He nodded quickly. "That's zendaya, she play's mj in spiderman, that's Jacob, he play's ned, the best friend of Peter Parker, and that is Tom, Peter Parker himself" 
"Nice to meet you all" you told them while you shook their hands. But as you shook Tom's hands, you felt something, something in your stomach. 
Butterflies. 
And he felt it too. 
--- 
Currently you were in the shower, just enjoying how the warm water ghosts over skin. Suddenly the shower curtain opens and a naked Tom steps in. "Well hello handsome" you told your boyfriend. "Hello darling" he told you as he stood behind you and wrapped his hands around your waist. He buried his face in the back of your neck and whispered, 
"I love you darling" 
"I love you too Tommy" you told him while you turned around and gave him a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm so nervous" you admitted after a few seconds of just staring into each other's eyes. "You don't have to be my love, my family is gonna accept and love you, maybe it's gonna take some time but they will appreciate you I promise" 
"But you told me that you watched my footage Thomas, they heard what I said, they saw the way I acted! They are either going to act like they love me or they are going to be scared of me the entire time!" you told your boyfriend while you laid your head on his wet chest."But I know that you've changed baby, I know it. I know that your a better person now and that you will never do something like that ever again okay?" he said. You picked your head up and looked him deep in the eyes before he grabbed your legs and picked you up and leaned you against the shower wall." I love you so much, thank you" you told him while you put both of your hands on his cheeks. "I love you even more babygirl" he said before you slowly started to make out. 
--- 
Tom knocked on his family's door quickly before his mom opened. "Hey son, how are you my dear!" she asked him while they hugged. "I'm good thanks mom" everyone hugged Tom as he came through the door before Dominic spoke up, 
"So, where is the lucky girl you want us to meet?" he asked with a tiny grin. "Yeah mate, where's she?" Harry added. "She is a little bit shy okay? So please be 'gentle' with her okay?" he told his family. They all nodded before they heard a voice, 
"Tom, can I come?" you asked from the front door. "Did we already met her?" Sam asked. "Yeah, I don't know either, her voice sounds so familiar" Harry added. Tom just laughed nervously before he said, 
"Just please be gentle and kind okay?" they all nodded curiously before Tom told you to come in and there you stood. Infront of your boyfriend's family. They exactly knew who you were and what you did. They were frozen, they were still but at the same time were they terrified. 
"Hey, my n-name I-is y/n, y/n y/l/n" you slowly said while Tom put his arm around your waist. 
"O-oh m-my God" Nikki whispered with fear in her voice. 
"Tom, what, do y-you even k-know who s-she-?" Harry stuttered. 
"Yes, yes I know who she is, she is y/n y/l/n, my lovely girlfriend" he answered proudly with a smile. 
"Thomas are you crazy-" 
Suddenly, paddy went to you and extended his hand in your way, 
"Hello y/n, you're really pretty, my name is paddy" he told you. He knew who you were, but he saw you and knew that you won't be trouble. He believed in you. 
"Hello paddy, the pleasure is all mine" you told him while you shook his hand. 
"Calm down guys, please, she changed okay?" Tom told his family. 
"You don't know that Thomas" Nikki stated quietly while she looked you in the eyes. You honestly felt kinda guilty. "I love him" you suddenly blurted out of nowhere. "What?" Dominic asked you. "I love your son and I'm gonna prove it to you that I'm a good person, I know what I did in the past but like Tom already said, I've changed and I love him so please give me a chance" you asked them. They all looked at you before harry spoke up,
"You know what, yes, I believe in you too just like paddy so" he stepped forward and hugged you quickly before he said,
"Welcome to the family"
You couldn't be happier.
---
"Darling where are you?" Tom yelled from the bedroom. You were just about to go to sleep but you had other plans. "Coming!" Suddenly you came through the bedroom door with a beautiful but at the same time extremely sexy lingerie in red. Tom's favorite color on you.
"Oh lord have mercy with me" Tom mumble quietly to himself while he looked at you but you heard it loud and clear. You giggled quietly before you made your way to Tom and sat down onto his lap. He put both of his on your ass and looked at your breasts. "My eyes are up here Holland" you said. "Sorry, you just look so… tasty" he said before he leaned in and kissed you passionately. After a few kisses, you leaned in to whisper in his ear,
"Fuck me daddy"
He laughed wickedly before he whispered into your ear,
"Oh kitten, I'm going to fucking destroy you, now your going to be the one that is crying begging and screaming"
-`ღ´- ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ -`ღ´-
Taglist:
@goodgirlgonetom @majo240820 @misshale21 @itstaskeen @pure-ghost @justafangirlduh @elizabeth-brown @roseke @onyourgoddamnleft @lovelyxtom @hallecarey1 @zspideyy @elizabeth228
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centrally-unplanned · 3 years ago
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Adaptational Annals: Teen Titan’s Raven
I have a pretty strong affection for Raven from Teen Titans, partially by proxy due to my partner’s undying love for her (first ever cosplay!). She is the ur-example Medium Titty Goth GF with a prestige class in Witchdom and a specialization in Eldritch Languages, which if you didn’t know is A Type then your high school D&D group in the early 2000′s probably had no women in it. Teen Titans is one of those franchises that got constant calls for More Content, which has *never* panned out. Teen Titans Go was the wisest of the bunch by simply not even trying and being its own slapstick comedy thing. But other attempts had less courage, with 2018′s live action Titans being most infamous in its awkwardness.
So I picked up Teen Titans: Raven (2019), a graphic novel stab at the genre, with quite low expectations, and...well it met those expectations. While it has some pretty exceptional art at places and solid slice-of-life moments, it really falls hard into 2 key traps; not understanding the appeal of the character its trying to adapt, and grinding hopelessly against the political mandates that plague western comics today.
“Original” Raven is most certainly an emo teen girl - that is part of her appeal. But its not her primary identity; “teen” is not the operative word in the title here. Her negaverse magic powers, Read Or Die: Pagan Edition bedroom decor, etc, are what take her from being relatable to instead being aspirational. If you are the right kind of person in 2003, you wanted to BE this:
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You don’t want to be this:
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I mean you do, sure, but with about $100 in ebay bucks and a lazy weekend you actually can become this, then you don’t want it anymore. Like for Yomiko’s sake the only book in the room is on the floor in the corner while she is on her phone, a device that would literally poison Original Raven to touch.
As you can tell, this graphic novel makes Raven a full-on Teen Girl; she attends high school, has bully drama with a Becky-type, has a crush on/dates a cute boy, the works. And its not all bad, she also has mystical magic powers and amnesia and is haunted by her demons very literally. When her struggles are externalized, girls definitely want to be this: 
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But that is its peak, outside of those beats it all falls away. Who doesn’t have inner demons to overcome in a graphic novel? That is dime-a-dozen. “Emo girl” was NOT the brand for Raven, its confusing the emotional plot arc with the aesthetic arc. When you strip out shadow magic vibes Raven vanishes and is just a stock sad teen, that is not the core you want to adapt. Its like the Younglings problem in the Star Wars prequels: kids don’t want to imagine themselves as a *boy trainee* in the Star Wars Universe, they want to be Han Solo dammit. You do not want to fix that problem by making Han Solo/Raven a Youngling/Regular Girl.
There is one scene near the end where Raven...tries on clothes, for prom, while others had previously been commenting on how Prom Is Lame but Came Around, and its just...you forgot your genre! You sunk yourself into this concept so hard you are pulling tropes from the wrong 2000′s era teen trend! More like 10 Things I Hate About Your Shit Comi-
This issue is exacerbated by our second problem, something the 2000′s very much did not have. See, our main girl Raven is white! And also straight, or at least into men. So what does that mean her friend group has to be?
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Ah yeah, there we go. Raven is adopted into a black family in New Orleans, her beau is Hispanic. Her friend circle includes these two girls who ask each other out halfway through and the School Becky makes a homophobic remark about it for some reason just so she can get Wrecked and everyone high fives and... that's it, its never relevant to the plot, Raven barely even knew these characters...its cringe. Its cringe.
That girl couple is interracial, btw. Bet you didn’t predict that.
But okay, obviously nothing wrong with non-white non-straight characters even if their ratios are mandated by divine fiat. The real issue is that, well, we can’t have the White Girl eating up all the page count, right? Even though its a book about Raven, we can’t ‘tokenize’ the minority characters by having them just be supporting characters. And Raven...she isn’t a badass witch anymore! Just an amnesiac emo teen psychic girl. So we need a source of the magical stuff for this story anyway, right?
Enter the voodoo: Raven’s new adopted sister and mother are both Manbos, voodoo practitioners, and they have many scenes of them being In The Know about Raven’s burgeoning powers, convening secret meetings with their ancestors, the works. Again, taking Raven’s shadowmagic vibes and making it voodoo-magic vibes, is, well its more niche but fair enough, franchises can evolve. But you see the problem - they *don’t* do that, they *can’t* do that, because Raven isn’t the right color for that role. Which means when the story culminates, yes sure Raven does do the final act to defeat her dad (oh her dad is a demon trapped in a locket who sired her for his own purposes yadda yadda), but in the entire setup for that confrontation Raven has no role, instead its all done by other people summoning ancestor ghosts to form a magic binding circle whatever:
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Which A: strips almost all the agency from our main character in the resolution of this story, and B: *isn’t her aesthetic*, and I mean her aesthetic in this comic!  She’s a goth punk teen! These big splash pages, the focal point of visual identification, isn’t been spent on Raven, but on these other elements - because of Politics. And I *know* its politics, it screams at me throughout this story with all its tired tropes. Like her final moment with her duel with her dad is all:
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And her room, I swear her fucking room:
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I get it comic, I get it, you won’t let me forget it for a nanosecond. Original Raven is not a complicated character! Its a show for 12 year olds. But Original Raven has ALL of these themes still, personal agency and abuse and stuff, its all there, and despite having literal Moral of the Episode dialogue it is still somehow more subtle than all this.
Maybe I have no business reading this comic; despite its obvious attempts to cash in on the nostalgia of a late-20′s audience for an early 2000′s media property, if its set in an actual high school it might just be for high schoolers. Maybe this will be the first time some young girl ever reads a story about Female Agency and is blown away. But I have watched Teen Titans as an adult - I actually never watched it as a teenager, my first time was in my aforementioned late 20′s. And, I mean its not a great show if we are being honest? Yet, for all its flaws, I absolutely get the core value that its audience saw in it, I get what they are being nostalgic for. This adaptation, the way it surrenders aesthetic identification for stock wokedom-era plots? I just can’t see engendering that same sense of nostalgia ten years from now.
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bailey-reaper · 3 years ago
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How about a drabble of Barok serving as Klint's judicial assistant in his younger years, before he officially studies law to become a prosecutor? I like the idea of him becoming interested in and familiar with law from his brother. "Judicial Assistant van Zieks" has a certain ring to it.
Work Experience
Notes:
Oh that's a lovely idea, anon! I'd imagine that by the time he's promoted to 'Director of Prosecutions', Klint would most likely have been a very senior barrister known as a Q.C. ('Queen's Counsel'); they're also known colloquially as 'silks' because they 'take silk' (i.e. acquire a robe made of silk) upon attaining this lofty rank.
When a barrister becomes a silk/QC, they often only handle the most difficult (and expensive) work, but they will usually have a junior barrister assisting them (i.e. doing all the work, though I doubt Klint would conduct himself like that).
I can very much imagine Klint taking Barok as his junior and allowing himself to be 'led' by the latter. The term 'leading' basically means the barrister in charge of conducting the case where there's more than one involved.
Content Warnings: legal gubbins (that's the technical term btw... it's not); I take liberties with all things van Zieks, as usual...
──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────
Klint's office was the very best place to study as far as Barok was concerned - the vast table in the centre of the room allowed him to spread his books out while the peaceful calm was greatly conducive to reflective reading. It was as good as, if not superior to, going to the university library. "Barok!" Klint said as he entered his room and shrugged out of his formal scarlet jacket, tossing it haphazardly on a coat rack, "What a pleasant surprise-- drink?" "Good afternoon brother," he looked up and nodded in greeting, "Mm, yes please. How was court?" "Fairly standard stuff," Klint sighed as he took two glasses and poured a measure of whiskey into each. Truth be told it was yet more of the depressing hypocrisy that grew ever-apparent to him day by day, but there was no need to sour a visit from his brother with such things. He set the glass down beside Barok and held up his own in a toasting gesture. Their glasses chimed melodically before both took a sip. Barok coughed a little, still unaccustomed to way whiskey punched the back of his throat when he swallowed it, "I imagine you were splendid, as always." "Oh?" Klint chuckled, his brother truly did worship him. Then, while he leaned against his desk, an idea came to him, "Hmmm! That's a thought..." "Huh?" "How about you take on a little work experience by my side, hm? I'm sure it would be fun to have you as my junior counsel for a while." "What? Really?" Barok looked simultaneously shocked and delighted, "I'd very much like to learn at your side, brother, I imagine there is much you could teach me about court etiquette and procedure!" "Then it's settled! I'll write to your professor and tell him you're to undertake a period of practical study beside me. After all, you're planning to become a prosecutor are you not?" he knew full well his brother intended to follow in his footsteps, which was incredibly flattering-- though he did have his reservations about what such a career might do to his darling brother's character. The younger nodded, "I should very much like to become a prosecutor." "Very good," he set his glass down and sat at his desk, taking a sheet of paper and his quill in hand, "We'll have that letter sent out today!" ──────≪⊰✥⊱≫─────── Barok had been to court many, many times but mostly to observe by way of the public gallery when safe to do so, or from a corner of the courtroom once he started being targeted due to Klint's ever-growing renown as the 'bane of criminals'. This, however, was on an entirely different scale: today he would be assisting with the proceedings -- a participant rather than a spectator. "You look nervous," Klint remarked as he stood beside his younger brother. "What... what do you mean?" "Your eyes," he said, chuckling behind his fist, "They're darting all over the place like a furtive rabbit's" "....O.. Oh..." he took a deep breath and shook his head, "I... didn't sleep much last night, my mind seemed to want to go over the case details again and again." "Mmmm, I had forgotten how it felt to be quite that nervous in court... still, it's good you feel that unsettled sense in the pit of your stomach. One should never be blasé about standing in this sombre hall of justice. It should always create a sense of disquiet, that is how you know you yet hold the essence of what it means to be an officer of the court," Klint took a glass and a decanter from under the bench and filled it with a small measure, "But, here, it doesn't hurt to settle your nerves." "Is that... whiskey?!" Barok uttered. "Yes, go on, for your nerves, little brother." He took a sip as directed, and choked again; still not used to that fiery punch in his throat, "T...thank you." Suddenly there were three loud knocks at the door followed by the court clerk's booming voice: "All persons who have anything to do before my Lords - the Queen's Justices - at the Central Criminal Court, draw near and give your attendance. God Save the Queen!" the clerk bowed to the judge then took a seat in the corner so as to record a transcript of the proceedings.
The Judge sat down, "In the name of her Majesty, Queen Victoria, I declare this court to be in session. God Save the Queen," the middle-aged man, whose hair was starting to fail him, though it was hidden under his white wig, cast his gaze over the persons in attendance, "Lord van Zieks, I see the prosecution has a junior member today." "Correct, my lord," Klint replied with a smile, "This is my younger brother, Barok, he desires to become a prosecutor, so I thought it only proper for him to accompany me on a few excursions so as to get a feel for the thing." "Quite right and very good," the Judge nodded, "I bid you welcome, young man, I hope you will learn much from your older brother, he is a skilled prosecutor and an invaluable asset to this court." "Y... Yes sir!" Barok said, standing straight to attention. Klint chuckled before placing a hand over his heart and bowing, "Thank you, my Lord, you honour me." "Now, Counsel, your opening statement, if you please." "With pleasure, my Lord..." ──────≪⊰✥⊱≫─────── Barok dutifully passed evidence and case notes to his brother as the case progressed, while also taking notes of things that struck him as important in terms of procedure, witness testimony and the general way in which matters progressed. He also made a few notes on Klint's control of the courtroom and general demeanour; the way he eloquently developed his arguments and appealed to the Jury with a seemingly effortless, poetic grace. It was a true masterclass in courtroom conduct and he longed to commit every second of it to his memory so that he might mimic his brother's style in the future. "I already told ya!" snapped the witness in the box, "I ain't never had nothin' to do with the gobshite!" Klint sighed while removing a handsome goblet, fashioned from silver and crystal, from under the bench and filling it with a measure of whiskey, "I'm going to overlook your use of a double negative, no doubt you'd have no sense of what that actually means, and presume that you're trying to deny all knowledge of the accused." "Double wot?" "Never mind all that, " Klint took a sip, startling Barok-- was his brother drinking in court?! The Judge didn't seem remotely bothered by it, in fact no one said a word. Did he do this often?? His brother continued, "You say you don't know that man in the dock." "That's right!" "Are you sure about that?" "W-Wot?! Why'd you keep askin' me that?! If you got somethin' to say about it then say it!" the witness looked flustered and vaguely guilty to Barok's untrained eye. "I'll do better than that," Klint said, setting his goblet down, "I'll show that you're lying to me, to this court and these fine men and women of the jury." "... U..urk..." the witness bit their bottom lip, "Yer lyin'! There ain't no proof to be had!" "I don't play games of bluff, good sir. Like any lawyer worth his salt: when I assert, I go on to prove what I'm saying," he held up a document, "Do you know what this is?" ".... Looks like a bit'o paper..." "It's a contract, signed between you and the accused. A... 'gentlemans' agreement of goods and for services rendered –– you, sir, would receive the stolen property from the accused and his associates, then sell it on for them via your Pawnbrokery!" "W-Whaaaaat?!" the witness recoiled, "W...Where'd you get that?!" "It was well hidden, I'll give you that," Klint replied with a smile, "But not well enough to escape my notice. You're as involved in this intricate criminal fencing enterprise as the accused!" The court descended into a shocked furor... ──────≪⊰✥⊱≫─────── "I think this is a good place to adjourn proceedings for today," the Judge observed after the breakdown of the witness, "Bailiff, have that man arrested and handed over to the Yard so he can answer questions about his involvement in this sordid affair!" The bailiff did as ordered and apprehended the witness.
"Thank you to both Counsel's, and our young junior, for their assistance today. We shall continue again first thing on Monday. Court is adjourned!" the Judge rose, nodding to the courtroom once before leaving.
Klint turned to his little brother and grinned, "Well? How was your first real day in court, brother?" "It... it was amazing!" Barok replied, eyes practically twinkling, "I was so awed by your performance! You truly are an exceptional legal mind and practitioner, brother!" He laughed, "Stop it... you'll make me blush!" "It's true! Though, I must say... I had no idea one could drink in court or kick the prosecutor's bench... those were most flamboyant and striking displays!" "Most people can't," Klint conceded, "But, well, it seems I have a flair for the dramatic. It must run in the blood... Our lord father was a similarly passionate man when it came to matters of court –– even when he occupied the bench as a Law Lord. Many a lawyer would refer to him as 'Good Lord Kicking' behind his back!" he laughed at the thought. "Wow... really?!" "Yes, really!"
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florrickandassociates · 3 years ago
Text
TGF Thoughts: 5x02-- Once there was a court...
Season five is off to a great start. I’m feeling more energized about TGF than I have in ages, maybe since the beginning of season three. After the mostly standalone premiere, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the rest of the season. Episode two introduced a lot of new elements that I’m intrigued by and excited about, so here’s hoping the rest of the season can sustain that energy. (Many) more thoughts under the cut.
And, again, since the most consistent thing about Tumblr is its inability to roll out new features that are actually helpful, here is a link to view the post so you don’t have to read it all on your dash. (Omg, Tumblr, not only do you force people to keep reading on their dashes but you also jump down to the middle of the post when the full version opens? Do you have ANYONE beta test these features?)
Reddick/Lockhart is bustling when the episode opens. The fact they’re calling it Reddick/Lockhart seems like an indication that Liz chose to partner with Diane—it's not. The firm just needs a name, and it can’t have Boseman in it. (The signage still says RBL... for now.)
Everyone in reception is talking animatedly, except for Carmen Moyo, who’s just taking it all in. You might be tempted to read her as nervous. You would be very, very wrong. But we don’t know that now. Right now, it wouldn’t be wrong to assume she’s Maia 2.0. This scene strongly parallels Maia’s first day at the firm (opening with the reception saying “Good morning” and the firm name, then showing new associates waiting for an orientation by David Lee). And in that scene, Maia is absolutely nervous, like you’d expect a new hire might be.  
Carmen focuses on another associate’s hand. I assume this is meant to be a parallel to how Maia fidgets with her rosary ring in that initial scene. Carmen then peels a price tag off her portfolio—possibly another Maia parallel, since the portfolio Diane gives Maia is such an important symbol in Maia’s arc.
I also see shades of Alicia and her first scene here—Alicia's silent and focuses on small details (the thread on Peter’s jacket) too.  
I don’t say any of this in hopes of comparing Carmen directly to either of those characters. Carmen is not like any other character this show has had before. But these parallels are quite good at establishing character, building intrigue, and showing contrast (even if you don’t see them as parallels, we’re still getting a lot about Carmen just from watching her reactions, even if we don’t yet have the context to understand how to read Carmen). Since I’m now thinking about Maia and Alicia, I’m also now thinking about how Carmen is different from them and triangulating her spot in this universe—that's a good thing. She’s not a copy of either character, but I understand a little more about what the writers are telling me about her from the parallels.
The RBL sign in the background is being taken off the wall. It falls and adds even more chaos to reception.
David Lee walks in and screams, “Stand up! Those seats are for clients.” This is the exact same language he uses in the 1x01 scene; this is definitely an intentional parallel.  
Btw Carmen already has more personality than Maia and she’s been in one episode so far! I didn’t hate 1x01 Maia, but I will say that nearly everything that intrigued me about early Maia was that I could project more about Alicia (whom I, obviously, care a lot about) onto her. I can and will compare Carmen to Alicia, but when I do, it won’t be because Carmen is an interesting lens through which to analyze Alicia... it will be because Alicia is interesting precedent to use to understand Carmen.  
I still hate Maia, yep.
David Lee accidentally instructs a client to stand and then has to save face, heh.  
In David’s tour of the office, we see the partners squabbling. Sounds about right. And STR Laurie is still a thing, which explains why David is there (though not why he is giving a tour).  
Throughout the tour, we get a lot of shots of Carmen. Again, she’s silent and looks like she could be nervous. (Spoiler: this is a fakeout and when you rewatch this scene, you can see what new cast member Charmaine Bingwa is doing here—expertly putting on a face that looks like anxiety in one context, but is actually just Carmen calmly sizing things up.)
Marissa eagerly joins the tour. “That’s right. They’re letting you play lawyer, Marissa. How nice,” David says. Carmen takes this in, too. “Fucking prick,” Marissa mutters. Carmen hears.
David Lee introduces “someone from HR” which is a great sign that HR is very effective at this firm.  
In the conference room, the partners are still arguing about who should replace Adrian. Diane tries the “all options are open to us and we plan to decide in the next 48 hours” strategy, but this audience is too smart for that. Madeline asks about the new leadership structure. (I am kind of hoping that one nice side effect of having to kind of shoot the season in a COVID bubble will be that we’ll get more small recurring characters. Madeline’s been around for a little while but we’re already seeing her get to do more this year.)
“Diane and I are going to run the firm together. For now,” Liz says. Oh, no, Liz, do not open the door to change. Letting the partners know you’re not sure is probably the worst strategy. You’ve gotta decide or they’ll sense weakness.  
“Just the two of you? A black firm being run by a white woman?” a partner asks. “Well, I’m not running it alone. I’m here to assist Liz,” Diane says, trying to deflect. “Really? Because she needs assistance?” he counters. Diane doesn’t know what to say, but she and Liz both know these questions aren’t going to go away.
HR is running an orientation for the new hires and it involves having them all take pieces of toilet paper. Man, I hate ice breakers. Carmen takes a moderate amount and then passes it to Marissa, who takes only one square. Carmen notes this and makes eye contact with Marissa. And this is where it starts to become obvious that Carmen is not nervous—just observant and not chatty. Carmen knows Marissa is one to watch from how David reacted to her presence. She gives Marissa a look that’s meant to be noticed and start a conversation. It works, and Marissa explains that for each square you take, you have to share a fact about yourself. Carmen hates this and hides the rest of the toilet paper so she only has one square.  
Liz tries to say there will be a discussion about the partnership, and Daniel (that’s what the captions call him, though they do reference him as “Barry” at one point but I'm like 99% sure I know which actor is Barry and it’s not him) says it feels like they’re just being told what the new state of things is. Liz says she hears him but right now they need a senior associate to backfill Lucca.
Daniel doesn’t think they need one. I don’t get why, unless it has to do with the budget cuts.  
“We need someone with real experience to take on her caseload,” Liz notes. Hell yeah you do!
Liz asks if any of the partners want to take over family law. None do.  
After the meeting, Liz asks Diane if she can call a head hunter. Diane approves. David Lee pops up to ask which one of them is taking Boseman’s office and they haven’t discussed it yet. I love that they managed to order a sign with their names on it before they’ve talked about how being partners will actually work.  
(Also, Adrian’s office is quite obviously going to end up with Liz. And it would be weird if it were Diane, anyway, because it’s Diane’s old office from Lockhart/Gardner and it would look it if she sat there again lol)
David notes that an empty corner office looks like failure. He is correct. He gives them until Friday to decide.
Marissa does not like the ice breaker at all and pointedly notes she only has one secret, and it is that she used to be married to a mime. She makes a whole bit out of it and then whispers to Carmen, “I usually just make things up.”  
Carmen’s next and she finally gets to speak her first words of the series. You know who else didn’t speak at all in her first scene? Alicia Florrick. Very different scenes, but I can’t help but think this is intentional. From what I’ve seen of Carmen, both she and Alicia use silence strategically and are comfortable with quiet. Alicia’s first scene is silent because she doesn’t need to use words to be expressive, but it does establish that she’s going to be a character with a lot of internal thoughts she won’t vocalize and that she’s observant and tries to maintain composure. Sure, you can watch the first scene of Pilot and just see a woman who’s stunned into silence, but when you watch it knowing Alicia and realize how much of the essential parts of her character are in her totally silent intro sequence that kicks off the show... it’s kind of amazing.
So comparing Carmen’s introduction to that? I mean this as a huge compliment. Carmen deploys silence for reasons both similar and different to Alicia. While Alicia uses silence to maintain some kind of boundary between her inner thoughts and the outside world, Carmen uses it to get a chance to observe and take things in without showing her cards. (We do see Alicia do that as well, especially at work, but I would call this a side-effect of Alicia being a quiet person rather than her intention; Carmen seems to be more conscious of how she uses her silence.)  
Carmen is from Victorville, California. That means nothing to me but I’m sure there’s some significance. Carmen mimics Marissa’s response when asked for her secrets—she also responds with, “secret,” emphasizing she only has one. But what she says next also shows her in contrast to Marissa. She says her secret is she hates games. We already know so much about her and she’s said like ten words!  
I think it’s smart to set Carmen up as a contrast to other characters. I know who Carmen is not because of how she differs from more familiar presences like Alicia, Maia, and Marissa. Marissa hates ice breakers, but her reaction to them is to use them as an opportunity to say something funny and over the top. Many others (including probably both Alicia and Maia) would likely resent the activity but play along and say something unremarkable (I could see Alicia overthinking it and sharing something surprisingly quirky though!). Carmen just does not give a fuck, and in a different way than Marissa doesn’t give a fuck. Marissa insinuates that she thinks the whole activity is stupid... Carmen just flat out says it. I would not pull this move on my first day of a new job! And that is the point—who is this person who is so self-assured she’s willing to insult HR on her very first day of her very first job as a lawyer?  
ALL OF THIS FROM A FEW WORDS AND SOME WELL-ACTED GLANCES! As I said, I’m very intrigued by Carmen. I have some questions about the logistics of this plot, her endgame, and how she’ll function when brought into the firm drama/debate plots, but for now, I only have good things to say.  
Liz interrupts the ice breaker to announce that everyone will be assigned a mentor. She then pauses to greet Marissa, which Carmen, again, notices. Liz is really there to say that they’ll be working on client maintenance that day, and each new hire will get to help with one of their clients. When she reads off their top clients, all the hands shoot up—except Carmen’s.
Madeline’s last name is Gilford. Noted. John’s last name is Wilson.  
No one raises their hand to assist with Oscar Rivi, who is in a maximum-security prison. Carmen confidently raises her hand.  
Barry’s last name is Poe. Noted.
Marissa and Carmen exchange glances. Super curious to see how this evolves. There are too many Marissa/Carmen exchanges in this episode for the writers to not plan to have them interact more in the future.
I’m kind of loving that it seems like the show’s leads are now Diane, Liz, Marissa, and Carmen. Diane’s obviously great, Liz is someone who’s been deserving of leading material for ages, Carmen seems interesting, and I’m so impressed they have managed to make Marissa, usually good in small doses, into a character who can handle larger plots without wearing on my patience (like that awful Elsbeth centric episode of Wife).  
Diane has a client who received a summons directly, which Diane finds strange. But, since she is already working with this client on the same case (teaching kids during COVID) in another court, Diane is optimistic about this second suit. She thinks it could set a good precedent.  
Diane introduces Phoebe, an associate who will help out on the case. Diane says she’s not personally going because it’s a formality and Diane needs to work on the brief. I’m like 99% sure Diane isn’t personally going because Diane’s role here is to convince the client she’s getting senior-level attention while having junior people do the work, but nice story!  
Diane asks Marissa to go along with Phoebe. Marissa thinks she’s going to get to argue in court... Diane says no, Marissa gets to hand hold a client.  
Oscar Rivi is basically Lemond Bishop, which is the only explanation I have for why RL would represent him. And, you’ll recall, I didn’t understand why RL would represent Bishop either. But we’ll just have to go with it.  
(I think representing multiple drug lords is probably a bigger PR issue for RL than having a white partner! How come no one ever talks about this! Actually, new complaint: wasn’t Liz, who now has more power than before, the one who was most against representing Bishop?)  
(I guess it may make sense that she’d be more okay with this Rivi dude than Bishop. Whatever Rivi’s done, I don’t think he’s threatened Liz’s kid like Bishop did!)  
(Also, I’m fine with them switching it up and suddenly having this new drug kingpin. Mike Colter is obviously unavailable since he’s a lead on Evil, and I was tired of Bishop anyway. If the writers stop using Bishop and Sweeney as shorthands for corruption I will be very happy; I don’t think there’s much more mileage left there. Speaking of, Dylan Baker popped up in 2x02 of Evil!)  
“I don’t want you to be intimidated,” Barry tells Carmen as they arrive at Rivi’s prison. Carmen reads articles about Rivi on her phone, saying she’s taking notes. Barry tells Carmen to “sit, listen, leave.” But then he discovers his ID is expired (he didn’t get it renewed during the pandemic) and he can’t go visit Rivi as a result. Carmen says she’s fine alone—she'll sit, listen, leave. She’s calm and not at all cocky as she says it, and it really takes until she’s actually talking with Rivi to realize that she’s not (just?) a hypercompetent law school grad trying to impress. She doesn’t seem to care at all what people, no matter how powerful, think of her, as long as she’s able to find security of any sort. (Tbh, it is kind of amazing she doesn’t get fired in this episode.)  
(I’m getting ahead of myself but in Alicia’s first ep, she also changes up strategies on the partners. Alicia does it almost without realizing she’s gone against their wishes—she's just sure of the right strategy—and Carmen does it much more intentionally.)  
Marissa and Phoebe can’t locate Judge Wackner’s court. Marissa asks a security guard she’s friendly with (of course she is) for help. He says there’s no Judge Wackner there, and the security guard notices that it’s a summon for a “9 ¾ Circuit.” The guard laughs at the Harry Potter reference; Marissa is not amused. They leave the courthouse when Marissa spots a sign for “9 ¾". She follows the sighs down an alley. Phoebe wants nothing to do with this; Marissa and the client are intrigued. They end up in a store called Copy Coop and are directed to a warehouse.
In the warehouse, an argument is resolved through Rock, Paper, Scissors. Then it’s Marissa’s turn. She asks for a continuance just like she was supposed to, but she uses the wrong phrasing. Judge Wackner notices. That’s when Marissa notes she’s not a lawyer, and Wackner responds that he’s not a licensed judge. So it’s fine that Marissa isn’t a lawyer.  
Marissa tries to protest again that she’s not a lawyer, and Wackner basically tells her to proceed anyway. The client wants to stay, weird as this fake court seems.
Carmen reads with Rivi. She stares at him, getting him to speak first. His translator asks if there’s another lawyer with her; she just introduces herself. The translator does a terrible job of translating Rivi’s complaints, sharing very little of what Rivi said with Carmen.
Unsurprisingly (to me at least, because scenes like this ALWAYS have the twist where a character doesn’t let on that they speak the language until the exact right moment), Carmen speaks Spanish.
She lets Rivi know she speaks Spanish AND insults the translator in one go. Pretty big move. That gets Rivi’s attention and he kicks out the translator. He asks who she is and she repeats her name again (characters reacting like this will never not remind me of “Who are you?” “Kalinda.”).
Carmen notes that she’s just out of law school, explaining that’s why she’s eager to help. She doesn’t reveal that by mistake—she's using it to her advantage.  
Credits! As I predicted, things are blowing up again this week like normal. No more kittens and puppies. There’s a new couch that blows up in the credits. Wackner’s desk also makes it in. I can’t remember if the purses were in this position before; they might be new. All the exploding TVs show footage of January 6th (which I hear is going to be a major theme of the season, though it’s not heavily featured in this episode). And the zoomed in shot of the closet (that I’ve never really liked) is gone, as is the falling curtain!  
I still hate the font of the logo for this show. I also don’t understand why the show seems to have three logos—the one that’s the TGW logo but with “fight”, the one in the credits, and whatever the one they’ve come up with for this season’s marketing materials is. I like that they’re trying with the marketing of this season but I don’t get why the show has three logos.  
While I’m talking about the marketing, can we just talk about the “Goodbye Lucca” graphic the official social media account posted? It had a fucking crown drawn over her head like this is a 2013 Tumblr shitpost!!! Who are they targeting with this?! WHO ARE THEY MARKETING TO? DOES THIS WORK ON ANYONE??? It literally says, “Chi-Town” on it. I cringed so hard. Sometimes I feel like the marketing of this show is meant to cater to the people who would, like, watch the credits of last week’s episode and be like, “Yes! It IS all now puppies and kittens! Everything bad in the world has been resolved!”  
But hey, at least it’s better than the absolute trash they used to post for TGW. Remember when there’d be episodes about Alicia making career moves and they’d be like, “#TeamPeter or #TeamWill????”  
OR, OR OR OR, the fucking time they tried to crosspromote TGW and the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show (yes) with a tweet that read, “All ‘Saint Alicia’ needs is a pair of wings&she practically turns into an Angel.” I... have no words.  
Hey, Caleb is back! I was not expecting them to actually wrap up his arc with Liz. I think I’m actually pretty thankful it’s ending like this—he comes back for what I assume is one last episode and I don’t actually have to deal with the Liz/Caleb plot. Apparently the writers were setting that up so they could do some plots about power dynamics and interracial couples and who is seen as having power. Caleb and Liz were going to have an encounter with the police, who were going to listen to Caleb instead of Liz even though this encounter would’ve taken place in Liz’s house and Liz is the name partner and Caleb the employee. Interesting enough, but anything boss/employee just squicks me out and I don’t need it around and Liz deserves better.
But I did like Caleb as a character, so I’m glad he gets an exit, unlike past characters who have just disappeared. (Remember Robyn Burdine? Or that time Taye Diggs was a major character for two seconds?)  
Liz was NOT expecting to see Caleb as a candidate for Lucca’s old role. Things are instantly awkward. I guess Caleb left STR Laurie?  
Diane immediately senses that things are awkward with Liz and Caleb. Caleb is very professional throughout all this. Diane gets an important call and leaves the room, so Caleb and Liz can chat privately.  
Caleb says he thought Liz was reaching out; Liz says she should’ve reached out but things ended abruptly. Love that Caleb checks that no one else is in the room with Liz before getting even more personal. He says they should just act like nothing ever happened between them and Liz asks if he can do that. “I’m the employee. Of course I can,” he says. This is why you don’t sleep with employees.  
He says he really does want the job and he liked the firm. Liz says she’ll talk to Diane. Caleb says if it doesn’t work out he’ll be fine.  
Phoebe tells Diane about 9 ¾ and Diane does not understand... at all. “If it has no power, and it doesn’t have jurisdiction, what does it have?” Diane wonders.  
A little more on the case: RL is representing a woman who taught a small group of students during the pandemic, and some parents are suing her for preaching socialism at the children.  
The woman suing did NOT like being called a Karen by her daughter or being compared to the family from Parasite. She wants a refund.  
Marissa objects and makes up her own grounds, realizing that since it’s not a real court, she can object for any reasons she wants—as long as they follow common sense.  
These scenes could so easily feel ridiculous, like a gag that goes on for too long. They do not. There’s just enough zany humor and theatrics to make the 9 ¾ court feel surreal. And, most helpfully, Wackner is a GREAT judge. He is engaged with the work and only concerned with the facts and arguments rather than politics. He’s tough but fair. He’s direct and he maintains control over his court. He’d be one of the best judges in a normal court. His sincerity is enough to make you wonder why courts DON’T operate like this. It’s easy to see why the characters are sold on this BS-free, rational, and effective system, even if it makes no sense that it would exist and it has no power. It’s simultaneously idealistic (if only things were resolved fairly) and threatening (how can something like this exist?! What does it mean that the real courts are so ineffective that there’s a need for something like this?! What happens if this goes beyond what are basically mediations for simple issues?).
This type of thought experiment is where TGF excels. I think they were going for something like this with Memo 618 (which hasn’t gone away!), but that arc always felt like it was on the verge of going off the rails. Mandy Patinkin’s performance and the writing for the 9 ¾ court already have me more invested in this than I was in Memo 618.  
Marissa tries yet again to wait for help to arrive, but Wackner insists that they keep things moving. She tries to stall and ends up referencing George Clooney. Wackner cuts through that, too—he hates speeches “unless I'm giving them, and even then I’m just trying to stall.” Then he holds up a sign that reads, “CUT THE SHIT” and the audience laughs. He says this isn’t the kind of court where you can just run out the clock. Kind of ridiculous that real court IS that kind of court, no? (And that’s why this is an effective device so far.) (I say so far because I have watched content from these writers for long enough to know that things that work in small doses or initially can go wildly off the rails.)  
Marissa changes strategies and does what she does best: she goes on instinct and adjusts her strategy as she goes. She eventually catches the woman accusing her client of teaching socialism in a lie about Parasite. It’s very Legally Blonde and very smart of Marissa. And I’m rather proud of myself for seeing what Marissa was doing (getting the woman to commit to a time frame and then baiting her to talk about a moment that proved the time frame fake) before she revealed what she was doing.  
Sarah Steele is so good in this scene. I love her smile when she realizes the woman took the bait, and that she reacts with “AHA!” instead of something more proper. This is pretty much the perfect court for Marissa.  
Diane and Jay arrive; are confused.  
Carmen leaves Rivi after quite a bit of time has passed, making Barry nervous. Carmen tells him very little and repeats that she sat, listened, and left. She told the translator to go fuck himself (almost in those words) so she’s gotta know that Barry will hear what happened from someone. She does not care. She lies to Barry like it’s nothing.  
Diane does not understand the 9 ¾ court, nor does she understand why a non-lawyer like Marissa is arguing. She does not understand why losing in this venue would matter or why a lawyer she knows (ha, I looked him up to see if he’d been on Wife or Fight before, and he has... as a totally different character!) is there.  
“Okay, I’m losing my mind. Look, this is not legal. We have got to get out of here,” Diane says. Toni, the client, wants to stay.
I don’t actually know the answer to this—would there be repercussions to someone who is a member of the bar participating in something like this? Everyone knows it’s not real or binding, so nothing is being misrepresented, but this FEELS illegal?  
Toni notes that a lot of people suing her are there watching, so walking out or losing would look bad. She also likes Judge Wackner because he is “better than the judges in real court.”
“Diane, what is real?” the client asks when Diane points out again that this court is fake. The client’s spent 8 months on this case in limbo, so this feels like reality to her. Fair point.  
Diane chats with the other lawyer and asks what he’s doing here. He says he’s getting paid—with business down and court dockets backlogged (how much would that affect a large firm that settles most cases out of court? I’m actually curious about this), it’s a good source of money.  
Diane realizes it’s basically arbitration. Then says she doesn’t understand anything anymore. The other lawyer replies, “Sure you do. That’s why this is throwing you. Welcome to 2021.” Yup.  
Diane goes with it. A former teacher is on the stand. He’s got a grudge and wants money, so he’s helping out. He tries to say something that is the most obvious hearsay ever... and Wackner has no problem with it. Marissa likes that.  
Wackner basically says he’s fine with hearsay because he can use his brain to figure out what’s real and what’s fake, just like we all do every day. Crosstalk is also allowed.  
Wackner also doesn’t allow for bullshit breaks where lawyers tell clients what to say, because he “likes the truths found in sudden utterances.” All his rules make a lot of sense. They are all also counter to every single sneaky legal strategy these characters tend to use.
Toni made a comment that she “couldn’t fall in love with anyone who voted for Trump.” That gives a point to the plaintiff. Diane notes that this belief is shared with most of the country, and Wackner asks her if she shares it. “I’m not the question,” Diane replies, because she definitely doesn’t want to talk about her husband who worked in the Trump administration.  
Wackner flat out tells Diane that Marissa should argue instead of her. “Marissa is not a lawyer,” Diane tries to say. “Well, I’m not a judge!” Wackner responds. And that’s it for the day.
Diane asks Jay for intel, and then we get one of the most effective Jay scenes in a while—he bonds with the Copy Coop security guard, who only has good things to say about Wackner. I like how the writers use COVID in this episode—they treat it like it’s recent past (fingers crossed) and reference it when it makes sense, like how the courts are backlogged, or this guard was laid off.  
The security guard notes that he thinks Wackner is building something good in his spare time. He also notes that Wackner is a big Grateful Dead fan.
Carmen takes it upon herself to visit someone else in prison to help Rivi. She points out they’re under surveillance and convinces this other dude to take the fall for Rivi so he can go free. It’s very smart. I assume this is all her own strategy, as we see her look up this other dude before she’s even met with Rivi, though it’s possible Rivi came up with some of it.  
There is something about Carmen’s demeanor when she deals with clients that is very Alicia-like in interesting ways. She’s very direct and unflappable in a way that people seem to take to (remember how all the creeps loved Alicia?), and she only shows emotion when she decides to. The similarities stop there. Carmen doesn’t seem remorseful or conflicted (Alicia always did). Sociopathic definitely isn’t the right word for her, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say it didn’t cross my mind. Carmen knows that her clients are bad guys. That doesn’t trouble her. And she doesn’t try to take the easy way out—she does more than she needs to. I don’t know what she’s really trying to do here, but I suspect she does.  
Carmen is 28, just fyi.  
Liz gets a call from Charles Lester. Obviously, Lester now works for Rivi, because Rivi is New Bishop. (Usually I’m a bit against saying any character is the new version of an old one, like how Lucca was not the new Kalinda (even if she was brought in to bring new energy to the space Kalidna occupied) or how Carmen is not the new Lucca (same), but I’m pretty comfortable saying Rivi is New Bishop. He’s not the same personality, but he... is New Bishop.)  
Lester notes that Rivi only wants to meet with Carmen from now on. Liz does not understand this and she’s not thrilled with it. She notes that Carmen is a first year who has been there for two days, but she doesn’t want to lose Rivi’s business so she goes along with it. Was that Carmen’s endgame? Job security? Does she not care about the RL job and see a good opportunity to... just represent Rivi without a firm behind her? I can’t tell.
(This is where I could see this arc faltering. I get why Liz keeps Carmen on—she doesn’t want to lose the client—but I don’t really understand why Liz wants Rivi as a client. Losing Carmen who’s been there for two days and Rivi who she probably doesn’t want to represent seems like a fine outcome to me. And, beyond that, if Carmen doesn’t care about the firm and also doesn’t need them, what’s in it for her to stay? I don’t think she really cares that the firm would have more resources to use in defending Rivi. Like, why isn’t the outcome here just that Carmen teams up with Lester and leaves RL behind?)
Diane listens to the Grateful Dead and writes down lyrics she can use in court. Kurt gets home from work. Diane asks him if he thinks she should give up her name partnership since it’s a black firm. Kurt asks if she’s the best lawyer there. She says no, but she’s one of the best, and besides, it’s a bad look and she wants to do what’s right for the firm. “You and I disagree on so much. You obviously ask my opinion because you know that I will argue something you know you won’t,” Kurt says. This is a very good, and very accurate, response.
Diane keeps going, though. Kurt plays along and starts talking about identity politics. Diane starts debating back, ignoring that Kurt is not really wanting to play devil’s advocate. Kurt doesn’t give Diane an easy out and tells her she’s right—she should step aside. That’s not what she wanted to hear. Kurt laughs and then goes to take a shower.  
Liz is eyeing Adrian’s office when Carmen walks up. She’s invited Carmen to talk to her. She asks her how things are going. Carmen just wants to know if she did something wrong. Carmen says she likes the firm and it’s great to be out of the legal clinics.  
Liz shares the news that Rivi only wants Carmen going forward. Carmen is pleased and says that’s surprising... though she looks more pleased than surprised.  
Liz suggests maintaining a professional distance, to which Carmen replies “I’m very professional.” “Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Liz tries to backtrack. “Is the firm dissatisfied with my work?” Carmen asks bluntly. Liz says no. “It’s my intention to treat all my clients like humans. Even the ones who might be murderers, or definitely are murderers. And I think Mr. Rivi might be responding to that because it’s something that he hasn’t received at this firm previously,” Carmen notes. This is QUITE the tone to take with your boss.
One question I have—and this is mostly inspired by the recap at I think Vulture?-- is to what extent Carmen knows what she’s doing. It seems like a lot. I can’t tell how much Carmen knows vs how much Carmen THINKS she knows. She’s definitely smart, and I don’t think she is an idealist (when she says her intention is to treat her clients like humans, she means that’s her strategy), but she is young and new to the law and only out for herself, which makes her vulnerable.  
Liz does not take well to Carmen’s talk and notes she’s talking about her personal safety. Carmen thanks her and says she’d understand if Liz doesn’t want her on the case.
There is something a little unnerving about Carmen. She keeps saying things that are boldly inappropriate but masked by how professional and correct her arguments sound (like the line about treating clients like humans). And she has a way of gaining power over a conversation. Liz squirms way too much in that conversation and loses some of her control as a result.  
I just need to know more about her!!! The fact that I can’t understand her makes her immediately interesting.  
Diane and Liz interview Julius for Lucca’s position. They all know it would be a demotion for him, but they’re seriously considering it. I feel like this would look awful for the firm and they are going to handwave it anyway after a few lines about how bad it would look.  
Diane quotes the Grateful Dead in court and it works. The other lawyer tries to quote songs too... it does not work.  
Carmen gets Rivi a bunch of candy bars from the court vending machine so he can have a snack he enjoys. The security guard doesn’t want to let Rivi eat them, but Carmen is right that this is permissible. The guard smashes the bars in defeat. Carmen opens one for Rivi.  
It is a little distracting to see the main characters pretend that COVID is in the past when the extras have masks, but honestly, that’s kind of what life is like right now?
Carmen zones out a little in court—not sure if she just does that or if she is trying to look unfamiliar with the rules so people will go easy on her/have low expectations. I think it’s a combination of both, considering that we’ve seen her laser-focus on things elsewhere in the episode AND she tells the judge it is her first day in court.  
Court stuff happens; Carmen’s strategy works.  
The judge tries to give Carmen advice and a warning. Liz is also there, watching, which is good because I was shocked anyone would let Carmen do this unsupervised.  
Carmen is also kind of like if you removed all of Maia’s worst traits (her selfishness, her spoiled brat attitude, her sense of entitlement) and skipped right to her willingness to partner with Blum.
Liz and Carmen talk again, this time about the reputation of the firm. Liz notes that Carmen is clearly capable and reminds her sternly that she needs to conduct herself in a manner that does not put the firm at risk and that’s the only reminder she’s going to get. Carmen twirls a pen and stares at it instead of listening to Liz. She says she’s just listening like she’s perfectly innocent. It’s the right thing to say and, again, it’s SUPER UNNERVING.  
“Wow. You really don’t give a shit what people think about you, do you?” Liz says in frustration. “I’m here to do a good job for my clients,” Carmen notes. Is she??? Does she just not care who she’s representing and want to do a good job, and that’s her whole motivation?? I would find that interesting but I need more to believe it. She’s so perplexing.
(Again, I don’t really get why Liz hasn’t fired her, because if she and Carmen keep having these interactions, Liz IS going to end up ceding all of her power and looking weak. But maybe Liz is as intrigued as I am.)
Liz also tells Carmen she’s going to be her mentor. Carmen says thanks and that she respected Liz’s father. Liz does NOT take that well. Audra’s reaction—a mix of shock, irritation, and confusion—is perfect here. I think Carmen is trying to say that she respected Carl Reddick—but she has no such respect for Liz. (It could also be about the sexual harassment, but I don’t think that’s public knowledge.)  
I noticed earlier that the courtroom was #305 and was wondering why they chose that number (it’s similar to Courtroom 302, the book that inspired the bond court arc, which is why 305 stuck in my mind). I see now that the Copy Coop’s address is 305. Heh.  
Turns out that the woman suing Toni is someone who would break COVID protocol and be generally terrible. I’m shocked.
Wackner decides to skip closing arguments and rule. He sides with Toni.  
See, this is where this kind of thing is dangerous. Wackner is great and fair. But you can’t really replicate a system like this (though I also think this system would fail if replicated on too large of a scale; the reason it works is that everyone involved is buying into it and if it were to be corrupted no one would buy into it unless forced to—and if people are forced to buy into an extrajudicial system then that’s its own problem). What if some other judge were to just decide to skip closing arguments or decide suddenly a trial was over? That could be unfair in so many different ways.  
After the resolution of the case there’s clapping and even Diane is surprised at how reasonable the verdict was.
Wackner then insists that everyone shake hands because “the thing we all crave most is respect and acknowledgement.” They also have to say, “I respect and I love you.” And they do! And no one even seems that unhappy with it Marissa and Toni are super into it.
And, someone in the gallery wants to get Marissa’s number because she did such a good job. Yep, sounds about right.
Diane fills Liz in, and Liz can’t believe it. Liz wants to hire Wackner (jokingly). Then she says she wants Julius since they know and trust him. Diane’s good with that, but she also chooses this moment to playfully let on that she knows Liz slept with Caleb. We’ve seen Diane observe Liz’s reaction to Caleb/mentions of Caleb all episode, and I don’t think it’s coincidental that Diane brings this up now, and in a friendly way. Diane doesn’t need to bring it up. I don’t think Diane needs the answer. I think she just wants to throw Liz off without making it obvious that’s what she’s doing.
I really, really hate to say it, because my whole thing about this season is wanting to see Liz be a great manager, but I don’t... actually think... Liz is a great manager? She’s second-guessing herself far too much. She’s more thrown in this scene than Carmen, who has like two days of experience, is by anything she encounters. And worse, she doesn’t hide it when she’s thrown. I think Liz is very smart and capable, but this episode is a pretty good case for why she might not be able to manage alone.
I know I’ve said that I want to see Liz manage and think she’d be good at it. I still think she could be. But I’ve also tended to think that Liz is a good manager and Adrian talks down at her, and I’ve dismissed some of her less strategic ideas as the fault of the Adrian/Liz dynamic. But nothing in this episode seems out of character, so now I’m less sure. (And to be clear, Liz not being a great manager isn’t a problem with the show, it’s actually pretty interesting to me.)  
(Here are some of the things Liz has done in this episode alone that she needs to stop doing to be more effective: 1) Everything about her reaction to Caleb (and the fact she slept with him-- and yes I would, and did, say this about Will too so this is not a double standard!) 2) Not having a clear plan when meeting with the partners, even though she—and not Diane—is the one who is seen as having power. 3) Not being able to hold her own nearly as well as she should be able to with Carmen. I’m curious to see how the other partners hold up, and in fairness to Liz, I may be able to make this criticism of any character who doesn’t just immediately fire Carmen.)  
And, I say all of this now because Diane in this scene is SO smart and SO strategic. She mentions Caleb to disarm Liz, then casually notes that she thinks Liz should take the corner office since it’s a black firm.  
Liz isn’t sure if she should thank Diane for that (it is a little patronizing) but she does anyway.
Diane has another “last thing” to say, and it’s that she wants to bring on another partner, a black one. She wants to be in the discussion and to retain a name partner position. Liz says yes, as long as she has any power over the decision. This is a very smart move for Diane. It’s a compromise that’s to her benefit, and she makes the request of Liz at exactly the right time. I think Diane likes Liz as a person and wants to work with her, but she’s definitely buttering her up. This is kind of like an audition to show Liz that she should stick with Diane—Diane will be friendly with her! Diane won’t judge (but definitely knows about!) her indiscretions. Diane is reasonable and not power-hungry! Diane is understanding!  
(And again, to be clear, I don’t think Liz is falling for Diane’s trap or anything. If Diane is smart enough to plan all this out, Diane is absolutely someone you’d want to keep on as a name partner. It’s just that Diane showing how smart she is, is a pretty stark contrast to Liz getting disrespected by a first-year associate.)  
(And, because I feel like I'm being quite harsh on Liz, I don’t think Liz has handled the Carmen situation badly... yet. I just see signs that Carmen is able to shift the balance of power in her favor without really trying, and that Liz is getting flustered. I think Liz mentioning the mentorship is a way of Liz asserting power, and I think/hope that now that Liz knows the situation, she will try to regain control. And, I could very easily see this same plot happening but with Diane—it's just that there are a few other plots where Liz seems flustered in this episode alone, so it feels like a pattern. I’ll be looking out for more of this.)
Marissa and Carmen, both with large folders of casework, get in an elevator together. “So. I guess it begins,” Marissa says as the episode ends. I very much want to see more of Marissa and Carmen interacting. Mostly, I just want to see what Carmen does when she’s in situations that aren’t about representing a client or defending her work. I know what type of lawyer and employee she is, but who is she as a person?  
Wow, this might be the most I’ve written about characters on TGF—as opposed to plots—in quite a while. I think that’s what has me so excited about this season. Carmen is interesting as a character because she’s so unique (or, perhaps, because she feels so much like a part of this universe yet so little like any other character—that's why I keep trying to compare her to others and find out where to place her). The 9 ¾ court is interesting because Wackner is so grounded, because it challenges Diane’s sense of reality in a way that’s new and interesting (this whole series is about making reality seem like it’s shifting under your feet; this is a new take on a familiar theme), and because it is a great match for Marissa’s personality and will give her a lot of opportunities for growth. It seems like we’re heading for some interesting material with Diane and Kurt, and there’s been a little bit of a tense undercurrent in their interactions in these first two episodes—I truly can’t tell if it’s supposed to be part of their banter or if there are mounting frustrations; I think the former but could see it being the latter. And, as I’d hoped, Liz is getting a lot more material.  
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slowly-writing · 4 years ago
Text
Alone
Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader
Requested by anon: hey, could you write a natasha x daughter!reader where the daughter is really depressed and maybe she ods on pills or something and after the daughter ends up telling nat about her feelings (if that doesn’t make you feel uncomfy) thanks! i love your writing btw😁
Word count: 3.1k (longest one yet)
Trigger Warning: mentions of depression and suicide attempts. Please do not read this if it will trigger you
You trudge through the school hallway before first period, rubbing your eyes and trying your best to shut out the world. All you can see are the smiling faces of your classmates and it makes your heart sink even further down in your chest. All you want is to be happy like them, but all you have is forced laughs and fake smiles. You’re tired. Tired of pretending to be okay. Tired of feeling the way you do. Tired of being here. Nobody notices that though, you know how to hide your emotions well, maybe too well. You learned from the best, you don’t think you’ve ever seen your mom cry, so you won’t let anyone see you cry either.
You tug on the sleeves of your hoodie for what has to be the tenth time in as many minutes, pulling them down over your hands and not daring to let your wrists be seen. You let yourself be absorbed in the music blasting through your headphones as you get your books from your locker. A tapping on your shoulder pulls you back into reality. When you turn around Peter is standing behind you smiling, and you feel a small bit of joy and the sight of the sweet boy.
“Hey, y/n! What’s up? Are you doing okay?” Peter asks in that happy tone he always seems to have.
“Nothing much, and yeah. I’m good,” you say with a shrug, shoving the last of your books in your bag as the two of you head off towards class.
“Are you sure? You seem sad,” Peter says, softer this time. His smile is still there and you think maybe you could talk to him, but decide against it as you meet his eyes. His eyes, while full of joy, also show how tired he is. He’s living with his own secrets, and you won’t burden him with yours as well.
“Yeah Pete, I’m good. I just stayed up late studying,” you brush off his concern with a lie, not thinking much of it, it seems lying is all you do these days.
xxxxx
“Hey kid, how was school?” Tony’s voice startles you as you walk into the kitchen. You expected everyone to be off training but when you glance to your right you see half the team sitting at the table.
“Uh, it was fine,” you mumble, forcing a smile onto your face and walking to the fridge to avoid eye contact. The conversation behind you picks up again and you let out a sigh of relief, exhausted at the mere thought of putting on an act.
“Do you want to do something? We were saying it’s been a while since we’ve had a family day,” Steve says and you can tell he’s smiling before you even turn around.
“We were thinking about having a movie night,” your mom suggests and you take a breath, knowing she’ll see even the tiniest hint of a lie if you’re not careful.
“I can’t. I have a big test Monday, I’m going to be studying most of the weekend,” you tell them and you see the wheels turning in your mom’s head.
“I thought you had a big test this week?” Clint questions and you momentarily panic, you’ll need a new excuse soon.
“It’s Junior year, I guess they’re all big tests,” you shrug, seeing your escape and making your way towards the door, “have fun with your movie night.”
xxxxx
You’re sitting in your room a while later staring at nothing in particular when there’s a knock on your door. You snap out of your daze, calling for the person to come in.
“Hey, I didn’t see you in class today. I just wanted to check in,” Wanda says as she sits on your bed next to you, but leaving enough space to make sure you don’t feel cornered, she knows how nervous it makes you.
“Oh yeah, I wasn’t feeling chemistry today. I hid out in the library,” you say and she nods. You think the conversation is over but when you look over at her she has her brows furrowed.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” you go to brush her off again but she stops you, “don’t lie and say you’re fine, I know you’re not. These last few days, few months really, you’ve got this cloud around you. I can tell you’re sad, and so little of the old y/n shines through. Your emotions, the things you’re feeling, I feel it all and it’s like you’re screaming at me to help you. It’s like you’re disappearing right before my eyes, and I’m the only one who can see it. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help.”
You stop for a moment. You’ve stumbled into another perfect opportunity. Wanda is sitting next to you, practically begging you to open up to her, and you almost do. Then you remember everything she’s been through. You remember the way she acted when she first moved in. She was barely a shell of a girl, her eyes held a sadness nobody should have to endure and she was so scared. She’s finally begun to be happy here, and you won’t be the one to drag her down again.
“It’s just school. I’ve got college applications coming up, I guess it’s stressing me out. You don’t have to worry about it, I’ll be okay,” you plaster a smile across your face and she sighs. She glances around your room, looking for an excuse to stay when she spots your guitar.
“You know I’ve always wanted to learn to play. Maybe you can teach me sometime?” you follow her gaze and pick up the instrument, brushing off the dust it’s collected from sitting untouched for months.
“Take it,” you hold it out towards her and she shakes her head.
“Y/n, I couldn’t-”
“Just take it. Someone should play it,” she stares at you and you nod. She gently takes it from your hand and you smile at her.
“You’ll talk to me, if you need me. Right?” Wanda pauses at your door.
“I’ll be okay,” you say, not quite lying but it seems to satisfy her and she gently closes the door behind her.
xxxxx
You look at the stack of papers on your desk, a list of everyone you’d want to say goodbye to. There’s almost a dozen notes all addressed to different members of your family, apologizing to them and explaining why you’re doing what you’re doing. You started out looking for a reason to stay but the more you stare at the notes the more you see how everyone has someone. Everyone except you.  
Steve finally got Bucky back, and they understand each other in ways you could never dream of. All you could ever be to them was an annoyance. Some kid from a time they didn’t understand.
Bruce and Tony, the science bros as you’ve been calling them since you were little, will keep on experimenting and inventing. They don’t need you wandering in and screwing up their lab equipment.
Thor has Valkyrie, and they’ve both been off-world for months anyway. They have their own people to watch over. They don’t need to worry about you too.
Wanda and Peter will take care of each other. Neither of them are strangers to loss, and they’ll pull each other through. All the great friendships come in pairs anyway, you’d just be a glorified third wheel.
Clint has a whole family to watch out for, and you’re nothing but a bad influence for his kids. A cautionary tale about paths not to go down. You know he’ll take care of your mom, they were family long before you came along. She’ll be better off without you to look out for. She’s the world’s greatest spy, she doesn’t need to be distracted trying to make sure you don’t screw up.
Everyone here will be fine without you, you can hear them all laughing in the common room right now, and you nod to yourself. It’s time.
You leave the light in your bedroom on as you step into the hallway. You close the door silently and glance to your right. The couches are crammed with everyone laughing and smiling in the dimly lit room. They fit perfectly, they don’t have room for one more. So you turn to your left, you can’t sneak into the elevator without one of them noticing you, so you take the stairs up one floor to the med wing.
You enter the room that held all the medicines, they never locked anything up here. You wonder if they’ll regret that as you look through the bottles of pills. You grab a bottle that’s labeled Benzo-something and decide it will work. You grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and make your way to the elevators. You tell Jarvis to take you to the roof and step out into the cool evening air a few moments later.
You take one last look at the New York skyline. You’ve always loved this view. You take off your jacket, and for the first time in months feel the cool breeze on your scarred arms. After a few moments you step back, sitting criss cross on the floor and opening the pill bottle. You pour a few tablets into your hand, silently wondering how many it will take to do the job. You tip the bottle again, pouring until your hand is nearly full, and decide that’ll be enough.
You’re calmer than you thought you’d be as you bring your hand to your mouth. You expected to cry, to feel scared, but you don’t. All you feel is the slight discomfort as you force the pills down your throat, then you just feel numb.
xxxxx
“Do you think we could convince y/n to join us?” Bucky wonders aloud as Steve pauses the movie.
“She’s been really down lately, it’s starting to worry me,” Tony says softly, that tone of voice is rare for him, and everyone agrees.
“She always wears these giant hoodies at school, even though it’s almost summer, like she’s trying to hide. She flinches away if you try to touch her arms. Whenever I ask if she’s okay she just makes up some lame excuse, I never want to push but I think maybe I should,” Peter joins in and a heavy silence falls over the room.
“I’m gonna go try and talk to her,” Nat says softly as she walks the few yards to your room. They all watch as she knocks a few times, entering when she hears no reply. There’s a few beats of silence before anything happens. “No no no.”
Your mom’s voice is barely above a whisper but they all know it’s bad. When she steps back out she’s holding a stack of papers. The look on her face is one that none of them have seen before, pure terror.
“What is that?” Steve asks as everyone jumps into action rushing to her side, but she can’t even form the words to tell them. Clint gently pulls the papers from her hands and skims through them. He swallows hard, trying to choke down the bile rising in his throat as everyone stares at him, waiting for an answer as to what could be found in a 16 year old’s room that scared the Black Widow.
“They’re suicide notes. There’s one addressed to each of us,” Clint says softly as Natasha grabs them back, rereading the words she knows will haunt her for the rest of her life. There’s a moment of silence before everyone starts talking at once.
“Where did she even go?” Wanda is the first to speak up, tears already streaming down her face.
“It’s a secure facility, she didn’t just disappear!” Tony says quickly, staring off into the distance as he runs through the short list of places you could be hiding.
“Everyone spread out and start looking!” Steve snaps everyone into action and they all scatter.
Nat is left alone, still frozen in front of your bedroom door as everyone fans out. She stares at the papers in her hands before she realizes where you are. She drops the papers, letting them flutter to the floor as she takes off towards the staircase. She takes the steps two at a time, making it to the roof in record time. You flinch as the door slams open and lazily roll over from where you’ve laid on the floor to look towards the sound.
“Oh, hi mom,” you flail your arm towards her in an attempted wave and she gasps at the state you’re in. Both the angry red marks covering your arms and the fact that you’re barely conscious scare her more than she thought possible. She can hear your breathing, ragged and slow and she feels more tears fall from her eyes.
“Y/n what did you do?” she yells, running towards you and picking up the mostly empty bottle of medicine.
“I want to go away,” you mumble, eyes drooping closed.
“No no no, you’re not going anywhere. Stay with me, love. I’ve got you, mommy’s here,” Natasha says as she lifts you into her arms. You groan as she jostles you, but you don’t protest anymore as you slowly drift off.
xxxxx
You hear a steady beeping and whispers as you wake up. You blink your eyes open and see a room packed full of people, all in various states of distress.
“Why would she do that? Why would…” Peter trails off. He has tear tracks down his face and his eyes are red. Tony’s sitting on his left with his arm around Peter.
“I don’t know kid,” he says softly, sniffling a bit.
“I knew she wasn’t okay. I should’ve done more,” Wanda’s eyes are trained on the floor and her face is emotionless as she sits on Peter’s right, gripping his hand tightly.
“You couldn’t have known-” Steve tries to reassure her but she cuts him off, standing up quickly and drawing all attention to her.
“I did know! I could feel how sad she was! What good are these stupid powers if I can’t do a fucking thing to help my best friend? I failed her,” Wanda now has tears streaming down her face and you can feel yourself tearing up.
“I didn’t want your help,” your voice is soft and scratchy, but everyone hears you and all eyes in the room quickly turn to you. “I didn’t want you to know that I was struggling. I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s not your job to take care of me.”
“Yes it is,” your mom says quickly. You try to argue but she raises a hand, causing you to stop. “I know you want to be independent but we’re your family. Of course it’s our job to take care of you. Everyone needs some help sometimes and you have every right to ask for it.”
“I’m not worth it. You don’t need me here,” you say with a shrug, wiping the tears of frustration from your eyes. You ball your hands into fists and stare down at them, refusing to look at your family.
“Yes we do. We all need you here and don’t think for a single fucking second that we don’t,” your moms voice cracks and you finally look up at her, seeing the tears streaming down her face.
“We all need you. Who else is gonna come remind me that sleep is a thing when I’ve been down in the lab for 28 hours straight?” Tony asks with a small smile.
“Yeah! And without you I would’ve flunked Calculus last semester, May would’ve killed me,” Peter says and immediately winces at his choice of words.
“She really would have,” you say, smiling a bit at his attempt to cheer you up.
“We all need you, y/n. You’re my best friend, the person I love most in this world. You’re all I have left, I don't know what I would do without you. You’re the only reason I made it through Pietro’s death. I never thought I’d be okay but you made sure I was. I’m sorry I couldn’t do the same for you,” Wanda sits on your left side, gently taking your hand.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper as the tears start rolling down your face. You look towards your mom again, hoping if she understands why you did it, she’ll forgive you. “I thought it’d be better for you all if I was gone. I’m just so sad all the time. Nothing I used to like is fun anymore and I just want everything to stop. It’s too much. I kept pushing through, but every reason to keep living just kept going away. You all have someone more important to you than me, so why should I stay? You’d all be okay.”
Your mom lets out a shaky breath as she brushes the hair out of your eyes, resting her hand against your cheek, “love, I would never be okay without you. When I brought you home all those years ago, you changed my life. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I’m so sorry I didn’t show you that. I will always be here for you, everyone in this room is always here for you. Please, please tell us next time you need help.”
You’re both sobbing at this point and you throw yourself into her arms, apologizing over and over and begging her to forgive you.
“I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t think anyone would care. I’m sorry,” your words draw tears from everyone in the room.
“I know you didn’t want to hurt us, love. It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna get you some help, okay?” your mom reassures you and you nod, burrowing deeper into her arms. Your whole family watches the interaction silently, wiping tears from their eyes and vowing to never let you feel this alone again.
tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @m19friend @worlds-in-words @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff
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twinkleton · 4 years ago
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how abt a douxie x reader fic where douxie and the reader are enemies to lovers back in camelot, but merlin, being able to glimpse into the future, knows they’ll be together in the end, so he pushes douxie to be nicer to the reader! I love your writing btw! your douxie imagine was so precious 💗
hello! thanks for your ask! and thank you so much! it was hard to think of a reason as why douxie would hate the reader, but then I rewatched the first episode of wizards and got my inspo for this fic :) hope you enjoy!
tw: blood
“Don’t be afraid, I’m here to help you,” said Morgana, as she held out her hand to a girl with her back against the wall, tucked away in a back alley. The girl had just been caught performing magic by a guard, which was strictly forbidden in Camelot. To avoid being thrown in a dungeon, she sprinted off towards the nearest alleyway, however luckily for her she was spotted by the only person who could possibly help her.
“Please don’t turn me in, I swear I’ll never do magic again. Please just let me go-” Morgana cut her pleas.
“Not practicing magic is the last thing I want from you, dear,” she assured. Morgana handed the girl her cloak, prompting her to wear it. “What is your name?” she asked.
“Y/N. I’m afraid I have no family name.”
“Never be ashamed of that, Y/N. Be proud that you have no legacy to follow. Your destiny is entirely your own,” Morgana placed her hand on her shoulder. A sigh of relief came from Y/N. She felt safe enough to let her guard down and trust this woman. Trust being something she hadn’t given anyone in so long. 
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To the King’s castle, you’ll be safe there,” 
“But the King hates anything and everything involved with magic!” Y/N exclaimed. 
“True,” Morgana led her out of the alley and towards the path to the castle. “However, his sister makes the exception,” Y/N gave a soft gasp. She’d never known the King had a sister. This calmed her worries as they headed to what would be her new home.
-----------------  
Adjusting to life at the castle was pretty simple for Y/N. She got along great with Merlin, King Arthur never threw her into the dungeon, and Morgana introduced her to magic beyond what she ever thought she’d be capable of. There was only one person who kept it from being perfect. Hisirdoux.
“For the last time, will you please stop touching my belongings?!” Y/N snapped, grabbing her spellbook Hisirdoux was trying to read from his hands. In her opinion, he had been doing absolutely anything to get on her nerves the past few weeks she’s been here. She went to take a seat at the desk in Merlin’s study that they were both in. 
“I don’t understand why Merlin and Morgana trust you with magic but not me! I’ve been here much longer than you have!” Hisirdoux complained. Here he was, tasked to sweep the floor for the thousandth time, while Y/N is practicing spells he hasn’t even heard of yet. He didn’t even recognize the spellbook Merlin gave her. He sat on top of a pile of books in a corner. 
Y/N scoffed. “Maybe it’s because I have some things called discipline and control. Things you clearly lack,” she spat, flipping a page in her book. 
“I do not lack control!” The broom he had tried bewitching earlier whacked him upside the head, as if in response. 
“Even your broom agrees with me,” Y/N teased. 
That was enough to set something off in Hisirdoux. Unbeknownst to her, he managed to read one spell from her book before she took it away. Now, he has the bright idea to test it. 
Y/N was too focused in her reading to notice Hisirdoux switching his bracelet to the rune needed for the spell. He planted his feet, took a deep breath in, and held his hands out towards him. 
“Ortum obumbratio, ortum obumbratio, ortum obumbratio,” he repeated over and over, and all of the light in the room darkened. There was suddenly a chill in the air.
It was his second repeat that Y/N recognized as one of the spells from her book. It was definitely the worst spell for Hisirdoux to be doing. She shot up from her seat.
“Hisirdoux! Are you insane?! This book is shadow magic, it is way too dangerous for you!” Her hands came to her side, glowing scarlet with her magic. 
He gave no response, still repeating the spell again and again. It seemed the shadows were taking over him, with streaks of black starting to form all over his skin, and his eyes turning back as well. Slowly, dark phantoms came creeping along the walls of the study. One came up behind Y/N, reaching to grab her. She felt the presence and quickly backed away from it. She wasn’t, however, fast enough to avoid another shadow, which slashed at her. It striked her all along her chest to her left shoulder. She let out a cry from the pain. Blood immediately started spilling from the wound.
“Hisirdoux, you have to snap out of it!” she yelled. Still nothing from him. She saw no other choice.
“I’m sorry,” she warned, as she shot her magic towards him, causing him to fly across the room, slamming against a bookcase, causing it to fall. Y/N pulled him away from the bookcase before it landed on him. The shadows suddenly vanished, with the light flooding back into the room. Hisirdoux awoke with a gasp. 
-----------------
Merlin had been at his wits end with the two apprentices. The constant bickering and fighting made absolutely no good environment for him to create the amulet needed for the upcoming war. Y/N was a talented and bright witch, but her attachment to Morgana could lead her on the wrong path. Merlin needed something to keep that from happening. 
An idea had come into his mind earlier to use the time map. Hisirdoux and Y/N were taking residence in his study so he decided to move to another room nearby before opening it. He sat down on the bed inside, and opened the map. He scrolled through time, what he was searching for he wasn’t entirely certain. However, he eventually found it in the twenty-first century. The map showed Hisirdoux and Y/N in a tight embrace, then letting each other go slightly only to pull into a loving kiss, over and over again in a loop. 
He let out a small chuckle, staring affectionately at the image. 
“Love will always conquer evil, won’t it Hisirdoux?”
A loud bang abruptly came from his study. He quickly hid the map away and ran towards the sound.
-------------------
“WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON IN HERE?!” Merlin bellowed. 
It was a justifiable response to the sight he held. His study was a mess, books and trinkets scattered all across the room. Pieces of glass were shattered and all over the floor. One of his bookcases was entirely knocked over, where a dazed and confused Hisirdoux laid beside it. Y/N had collapsed to the floor, leaning against the wall. She was covering her wound with her hand, albeit unsuccessfully as blood was seeping through her fingers. 
Morgana had burst into the room as well, wide-eyed and appalled at what she was currently witnessing. 
“Hisirdoux, Y/N, explain yourselves this instant!” she commanded. 
Hisirdoux was at a loss for words. The idea of having to explain what happened mortified him.
“I-I didn’t mean, I didn’t mean for this-Y/N I’m so sorry-”
“I’ll tell you what happened,” Y/N rose up from the ground, grimacing from the pain coming from her injury.
She made direct eye contact with Merlin. “Your apprentice thought it’d be a good idea to perform shadow magic, something he has never been able to accomplish. I’d congratulate him on achieving it this time, if I didn’t have to save him from it consuming him due to his lack of control,” she throws him a nasty glare. Hisirdoux retreats his eyes to the floor. 
“Hisirdoux, is what she’s accusing of you true?” Merlin questioned. He had no benefit of doubt in his tone however. 
It takes everything in him to look up at everyone. All of their faces are brimming with disappointment. 
“Yes. It’s true,” he confessed. 
“Y/N,” Morgana calls. Y/N walks over to her. “Let’s deal with that wound before it gets infected.”
She glances towards Merlin. “Deal with him, or I will.” With that threat hanging in the air, she and Y/N leave. 
Merlin says nothing to Hisirdoux, which fuels his anxiety more than him speaking ever would. 
“Master, please say something.” he pleaded.
“Do you realize the destruction you have caused?” Merlin spat.
“Yes I-”
“You’ve destroyed my study.”
“I know I-”
“You almost brought dark shadows that would wreak havoc on Camelot.”
“Yes! Please-”
“And worst of all!” Merlin shouted. “You almost got Y/N and yourself killed.”
Hisirdoux sank at that. He was ashamed of all of it, but what he regretted the most of all was putting Y/N in danger. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself had he gotten her killed. They had their differences and petty arguments, but the last thing he wanted was her death. She didn’t deserve that. 
“I-I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted to prove for once I was capable of something greater. That you could trust me with more than just sweeping.” He looked over to where the broom was, walked over and picked it up off the floor. “I was wrong, all I’ll ever be capable of is clean up duty.”
Merlin let out a big sigh. “Hisirdoux, I know you are capable of far more than sweeping. Your skill will undoubtedly match with Y/N.”
Hisirdoux looked up at Merlin, with eyes almost pleading for him to continue.
“I’m afraid it’s my own fear that is holding you back. The stronger you become, the greater the threats you will have to face. However, running errands for me and Morgana keeps you safe and away from harm. I owe you an apology, had it not been for my trepidation, none of this would’ve happened.”
Of all of the possible responses he could’ve gotten, Hisirdoux wasn’t expecting that one. He has never seen this caring side of Merlin before, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it. 
There’s a moment of silence again, only this time it’s ended by Merlin giving Hisirdoux two strong pats on the shoulder. Hisirdoux grins. 
Merlin continues, “Now, about dear Y/N.”
The grin on Hisirdoux’s face vanishes. “Please don’t tell me I have to apologize right now.”
“Go apologize to her right now. And don’t-”
“But Master!-”
“But Master me. And do something about this mess.”
And with that, Merlin leaves the study, leaving Hisirdoux alone with the mess and his thoughts.
-------------------
A few hours later, Y/N was resting in her room when she heard a knock at the door. 
“Who’s there?”
Hisirdoux opened the door, poking his head out sheepishly.
“It’s me, may I come in?” he asks.
“That depends, are you going to try to kill me again?”
“Not today, maybe next week?”
That earns a small laugh from Y/N.
“Come in, you fool.”
He walks in, immediately noticing her chest and shoulder wrapped up. Some blood has soaked through the gauze. The feeling of guilt invades his heart.
“Y/N I am so, so deeply sorry. I should have never tried that spell. You were right, I had no control. I let my ego get the best of me. Please, forgive me.”
She takes a deep breath in, then out, and finally smiles at him.
“Mind helping me switch the wrappings?” she asked kindly, apology clearly accepted.
He’s grinning from ear to ear, excited at the chance of helping her for what could be the first time since they met. He sits down beside her on her bed, taking out the gauze from the dresser next to the bed.
Y/N has already started unwrapping the gauze from her shoulder, wincing once it becomes too hard to do the rest on her own. Hisirdoux takes over from there, slowly and carefully undoing the rest for her. Once the wound is revealed, another twinge of regret hits Hisirdoux.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his words laced with remorse.
“You’ve already apologized, really it’s my turn to apologize to you,” Y/N replies softly.
He begins wrapping her shoulder up again, “Whatever for? You were right about all of it. I’m a screw up.”
“Hey,” Y/N uses her good arm to raise a hand to his cheek, moving his face towards hers. He looks into her eyes, realizing for the first time just how vibrant they are. 
“You’re not a screw up, you just haven’t reached your full potential yet. Besides, I’m not perfect at all. You’re lucky you’re not there when I train with Morgana. It can be a real hot mess sometimes, literally I almost burned Morgana’s hair off one time,” she joked. Hisirdoux laughs, wishing he could’ve been there to see that.
“I’m sorry for not being fair to you these past few weeks.” Y/N says remorsefully. By now Hisirdoux has finished wrapping up her shoulder.
He replies, “How’s the idea of starting over sound?” She beams at him, clearly agreeing with the idea. “Sounds perfect, Douxie.”
He smiled, liking the new nickname she’s given him. Y/N realizes she still has her hand on his face, and lets it fall off. Douxie catches it instead, and they hold each other’s hand, gossiping and poking fun at their masters for a while.
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