#except for the occasional incredible gem

[brobertdowneyjr]

I'm sifting thru fics like it’s 1848 and I'm panning for gold in the river

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 少年歌行/The Blood of Youth

The Blood of Youth is a 2022 live-action adaptation of the tale of a deposed, disabled, and incredibly cunty prince who's on his way back to settle the score with his asshole father, and the rag-tag band of weirdos he accumulates along the way, including Spear Girl, Bad Monk, and Fire Puppy (pictured above).

I hope you like shounen anime, because this is the most shounen anime something is allowed to be without actually being based on something running weekly in Shounen Jump. What if Nirvana in Fire were also Naruto? It would be the Blood of Youth.

This show is an underrated gem of action-packed fun that not nearly enough people in English-speaking fandom have seen. In an attempt to correct that -- and ahead of an announced second season and prequel in progress -- I'm here with five reasons you should try it out.

1. Zero thoughts head empty

You do not have to pay an enormous amount of attention to this show to understand what's going on. The show itself does not always know what's going on. It got distracted by a shiny object over there, and now we're all gearing up to go punch the shiny object. We'll get back to the main plot when we're done with the punching.

It has a million billion plot threads going on at any given moment. Bad guys roll in from sects you've never heard of before, using superpowers with stupid names, only to get kicked into next week. There's approximately eleventy thousand characters -- so many, in fact, that I ran into problems several times while making this rec post, because there aren't readily available photos of everyone I want to talk about. Just look at the DramaWiki cast list. See how it goes on for like fifty screens? That's a little what the show feels like.

Except I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, because the show knows it's doing this, and it acts accordingly. It telegraphs pretty well who's important and who isn't (and then it goes out of its way to color-code the latter, which is handy). What you're left with is absolutely a manga-style plot, complete with training arcs and semi-relevant sidequests, all working up to the final boss match.

It is an extremely self-aware show. On multiple occasions, something would happen, I would crack a joke about it, and then a beat later the show itself would make the exact same joke. I wouldn't call it an outright comedy, but it's still very funny, and on purpose. It has no illusions about being some kind of profound, meaningful epic. Mostly it's just here for a good time.

Yet this lightheartedness is what makes the powerful emotional parts really powerful by contrast. The show is not stupid; it's just goofing around most of the time. When it knuckles down, it can be devastating. And you know what? It does wind up being profound and meaningful about some stuff. How about that.

So yeah, if you're up for something that bops merrily right along and only occasionally rips your heart out, here you go!

2. Putting the poly in polycule

Bisexuals, rejoice! It's representin' time!

Here you go, I made a relationship chart of about 40% of the show's potential and canonical ships. I could have included so many more, but I only had so much space on the image, so I had to leave out some amazing ones, like the sword hedgehog who's real into this one cougar who could easily wipe the floor with him, or the rich nerd who thinks he has a chance with the aforementioned hot butch, or the fancy MILF who cheated on the emperor with a dreamy jianghu man and is trying not to cheat on him again with a different, slightly less dreamy jianghu man. See? There's just so much.

I would also say these are not exclusive ships. They are extremely inclusive ships. I am a fan of most (though admittedly not all) of the pairings listed here, and in fact of many of the three-and-more-somes indicated by these lines. They're such a cuddle puddle of shared intense feelings that it's hard to imagine anyone getting more than mildly jealous. Moreover, the potential for romance does not get in the way of hetero friendships; a boy and a girl who are each dating other people can go do adventures together, and (mostly) nobody gets weird about it, which is nice. If anything, what makes the overall dynamic so polycule-like is how equally friends and love interests get treated, meaning that it's not difficult to see a lot of crossover potential between those two categories.

If you're like me, you're hesitant about canonical romance, especially when it's straight, mostly because so many straight love stories wind up being tiresome, gross, and/or skull-poundingly boring. You will then be pleasantly surprised by how the canon pairings with members of the main cast are not like this at all!

Xiao Se and Sikong Qianluo are the main textual romance, and golly gee, they're just cute as heck. As the chart above indicates, I like interpreting them as two Kinsey 6's who have found their single exceptions, Mulder-and-Scully-style. Maybe one of the best things about their relationship is that it gets sidelined all the time for the plot. They're not so busy being in love that they forget to get shit done. Then they get a bit of downtime and get to go on a date, and you're like, aww, those sweet gay disaster babies are gonna do a little bit of heterosexuality. Just precious.

Tang Lian and Fairy Rui are right up there with the cuteness. She's a sex-positive dancing beauty who wants to ride that pretty boy like she stole him, and he's a shy sword boy so tightly bottled up that he'll explode if he sees a bare ankle. Avoiding spoilers, I will simply say that this is a pairing of two relatively soft people, until a bad thing happens to one of them and the other hardens up about it. If that's your jam, they're here for you.

Lei Wujie and Ye Ruoye are probably the most magical and the most practical of the bunch. They have a beautiful, super-dreamy, really horny sword-dance meet-cute, complete with its own pop song ... and then that's it, they're basically just together. She likes him, he likes her, good for them. In-laws aside, it's a refreshingly low-drama situation. Besides, I always love it when the hypercompetent woman gets the sweet, devoted himbo who'd do anything for her. Ruoye's had a hard life, and she deserves someone who can dick her down good at night and make her a nourishing breakfast the next morning.

And then there is, of course, The Ship:

Xiao Se and Wuxin are canonical, textual soulmates. The show treats their dynamic as more important than any other. It's so important, in fact, that the show has to sideline Wuxin for huge parts of the drama, lest everything get too damn gay. They each get a boyfriend catch on the other. They both do fairly reckless things when the other is in trouble. They are the secret hidden happy ending to the series. They share the kind of ride-or-die relationship built on mutually being the hugest bitches in any given room. Whether or not you think this is romance, it is extremely romantic, and the series agrees as much as it can, all things considered.

And if none of those flavors of love float your boat? Well, have you considered ... eunuchs?

3. She likes e4e

So I'm on record as being real into eunuch characters, right? Well, if you're with me on that, you are in for a treat here, because these are some absolutely buck-wild eunuchs.

There's five main ones, and I can't even begin to scratch the surface of what's going there. Like, really, I don't even think I understood all of what was happening with them. They're kind of the bad guys, but then they're kind of the good guys, but then some of them are the bad guys, but then they're just working for the bad guys, but then they screw over the bad guys, and ... it's just a lot, okay? It's a lot, and it's all happening with this bunch of catty bitches.

Also, you would not believe the difficult time I had finding any images for this section. I guess for some reason, fandom isn't way into a bunch of canonically dickless color-coordinated middle-aged men in weird hats? Whatever, man, they are missing out. If, however, you have the good sense to be into the intense and complicated (semi-romantic??) relationships among colleagues who also professionally just happen to be missing their external genitalia, buddy, strap in (and maybe strap on, depending).

Don't let me oversell how much these guys are in the show. They're not. They're vaguely important at points throughout, and they become incredibly important near the end, but they're hardly main characters. They're mostly back at the palace, doing their various schemes and looking absolutely fantastic.

So if they're such a minor part of the story, why do they get their own selling point? Well, I think their presence is a good example of two specific things about the show:

Specific thing the first: It's so queer -- not gay, but queer. Thinking back to my last selling point, you will notice how many of those straight pairings may look normie on the outside, but once you get down to it are not playing by cishet rules. (For instance, I've seen a lot of people read Tang Lian's resistance to sexual advances as asexuality, which, sure!) Likewise, there are lots of incredibly important, intimate relationships that don't conform to standard romantic pair dynamics. Add to that a lot of bodies with unusual characteristics and conditions, and you've got the makings of plenty of delightful non-normative love stories.

Specific thing the second: There are so many things going on with so many side characters that there's a kink here for everyone. Don't care for eunuchs? How about slinky villains with mind-control powers? Devoted servants who would do anything for their masters? Former bad guys who owe life-debts to the good guys who saved them? Bonded pairs traipsing around the jianghu together? Sons nursing legitimate grudges against the men who killed their fathers? Alcoholic widowers with incredibly slutty necklines? Mysterious cross-dressers with unconvincing moustaches? Vengeful brides? Martial siblings? Murderous royals? Guilt-ridden half-siblings? Boring star-crossed lovers? All these and more! It's a smorgasbord of rarepair fuel!

Also, I just love these toxic drama queens. It's like if RuPaul's Drag Race had the authority to have you executed.

4. The most intriguing outfits I've ever seen in anything (and yes, I'm including Winter Begonia)

Time for a fashion show!

The asymmetrical fits, the detailed embroidery on everything, the brilliant colors -- everybody just looks so good. And yet everything still looks ... eh, I don't know if "practical" is the word I want, but at least wearable. Nobody's dragging ten-foot trains of fabric behind them or wrapped in eighty floofy layers of gauze (except Rui, but she's special). Their outfits are strange and elaborate, but they don't defy physics.

What's truly stunning is how often they get new outfits. Xiao Se alone changes clothes about once every other episode, and more if he's getting a flashback. He is the fashion plate of the whole series, and every look he serves is pitch-perfect.

They're not outright color-coded, but the main characters do have certain colors associated with them -- which is extra-fun when you watch those colors bleeding into their friends' clothes as their relationships get stronger. I also think -- and I'm willing to be proven wrong on this point, but I think I'm right -- that they recycle some characters' outfits into parts of other characters' outfits. On more than one occasion, I'd swear that Lei Wujie shows up wearing the left half of something Xiao Se was wearing a few episodes back (tailored to fit him, of course, because that dumb ponytail boy is tall).

Where I think the costume design gets massive points, though, is that the costumes are themselves adaptations.

Before the live-action series, there was a 2018 3D animated donghua. I have never watched the latter, but apparently the drama is intensely faithful to the animated visuals, to the point where some fights are shot-for-shot remakes.

Of course, you can do a lot more with unreal clothing and bodies in animation -- and you can show a lot more skin, at least according to Chinese content laws. The live-action costumers chose to preserve about as many of the appearance beats from the donghua as they could manage, while still accepting the limitations of real-life bodies and materials. You can see some side-by-side comparisons here. The live-action outfits manage to be instantly recognizable without being slavishly devoted recreating to their inspirations.

So if you're sick and tired of dreary, ill-lit shows with bland palettes, this vibrant, colorful drama may be just the thing for you. It's a rainbow from start to finish.

5. Actually a good central plot?

Despite all the wacky delightful shounen nonsense that this show has -- and it has a lot -- the core of the whole narrative, which is Xiao Se's story, is surprisingly great and cohesive.

The short version is this: Xiao Se used to be Xiao Chuhe, sixth prince and somewhat heir apparent. Then he and his jerk-ass dad had a falling-out that resulted in the prince's having his martial arts abilities all but taken from him. He's been living the life of a very well-dressed innkeeper for several years, trying to avoid all of that palace garbage. But now his jerk-ass dad is dying, which means that a lot of horrible decisions are finally having unfortunate consequences for everyone, and Xiao Se's got to get back in there to make sure everything does not go to shit and land someone terrible on the throne -- even if it has to mean taking it himself.

His central conflict is between what he used to be and what he's become. Does he miss being Xiao Chuhe, high-ranked martial artist and future emperor? Or is he happier being Xiao Se, long-suffering nobody who can barely run a business, much less hold his own in a fight? What would he be willing to do to get back what he's lost? What are his obligations to himself versus his obligations to everyone else? How much is he responsible for his father's bullshit? And why has he wound up having to babysit this stupid Fire Puppy?

It's okay, they're best friends now. Lei Wujie decided.

No spoilers, but I liked Xiao Se's ending a lot. I feel it's very true to the character and shows a real understanding of who he is and what he values. And really, at the end of the day, sometimes all you need for a happy ending is your girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend who's also your boyfriend, your other boyfriend, his girlfriend, and your long-distance for-real soulmate.

Feel like giving the youths a try?

You can find them on YouTube or on Viki. But be absolutely sure that no matter where you watch it, you make sure to go watch the epilogue as well. (And if you get real into the story, well, here's a link to information about all the other adaptations.)

You are also welcome for how I did not spend this post going off for five hundred years on how much I love Wuxin and his funky relationship to Buddhism. I figured that's way too niche of a selling point for most people, and might indeed have even been counterproductive. But know that I could have.

Also, I'm very happy about the announcement of a second season, because that's going to mean Liu Xueyi has to shave his head again, and he looks unbearably good with a shaved head.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the whole motorcycle photoshoot?

In case you hadn't noticed, the whole cast is stupidly hot. Hachi machi.

[aziraphales-library]

Factory Settings - fic rec

Factory Settings by Anonymous (T)

Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.

An insane 100k word ride that is a long, alternate version of S3 in my heart. The characterizations, writing and everything is so on point that it literally feels official in every way except formatting.

This was written in 19 days, but it's so masterfully crafted that I genuinely find it to be one of my favorite NOVELS of all time. The only fic I've ever actually downloaded just in case it gets lost for whatever reason. SO. MUCH. HAPPENS. IN THIS FIC. AND IT'S ALL FANTASTIC.

Nothing I could say could properly describe how incredible and wild the plot is. Trust me. It'll cure all your S2 aches and give you one of the best fanfics, nay, stories of all time. Just. In general. Butt clenching moments, laughs, tears, excitement- it's a rollercoaster.

No slog, fantastic pacing, so many twists and turns that still always make sense and are so fun and compelling... I read this in less than a day and am already re-reading it and will occasionally do so for the rest of my life. This doesn't only build off of Good Omens with love and care, in some places, I'd say it transcends the source material.

This fic is already blowing up for good reasons, but I think it deserves as much love as possible, so I'm submitting it to your wonderful blog and hoping more people can discover this brilliant gem.

LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK WITH THIS BLOG, KEEP IT UP, MODS!! <3

((Definitely needs the #good omens s2 tag, but idk how to make it happen in the submission. Sorry if I did something wrong, you probably should delete this part when/if you post my submission btw))

[muchelburstenstein]

New Years Party

(CONTENT WARNING: Burst)

I opened my eyes, and found myself in a crowded space surrounded by masked strangers.

I tried to stand up, to get away, but could barely wiggle my arms and legs. Looking at myself, I realized my situation was far worse than what I thought it was.

My wrists were strapped with what seemed to be leather strips to a wooden surface, each one separate and over my head. Turning my gaze lower, I realized quickly that I was entirely naked. My modest breasts were stiff, the air in the room chilly without anything covering me. So too was I exposed from the waist down, my legs wide open and my knees bent due to a brace resting under them. It was like being in some sort of birthing table, except that my back was only slightly angled, more like I was sitting in a slightly reclined position rather than the more bed-like apparatus.

My feet were resting on the ground, and while I couldn’t see my feet, I could feel ground underneath them. So far as I could tell I was in no pressing danger, though my groin was aching. I tried to remember where I had been prior to this.

There was a party of some kind. New years. I had been drinking quite a bit, and had decided to go out to get fresh air. I’d been having a walk around the block, my head clearing slightly, when a van pulled up next to me. Some masked men jumped out, and…

That was as far as my memory went. I guess I’d blacked out or they’d knocked me unconscious somehow. I tried not to think too much about my tender womanhood, instead taking in the scene around me.

Everyone seemed happy. People were laughing, dancing, there was music. It seemed to be a masquerade, nobody’s face was visible. We also seemed to be in a very fancy building, maybe a mansion or a ballroom in a swanky hotel or something. There were snacks near the walls, and everyone seemed relaxed.

But there was a hidden energy in the air, an expectancy. Like everyone was just waiting for some event that I was unaware of.

And over against one wall was me, naked and immobilized. Nobody tried to help me, but nobody was doing anything to cause me harm either. More than a few lingering, almost hungry gazes were cast my way, but beyond that most people just kind of ignored me.

I continued trying to loosen my bonds, maybe find a weak point in the contraption rendering me trapped and also incredibly exposed. The occasional draft tingled over my exposed skin and over my delicate, still sore gender, making me shive with discomfort and a dash of shame.

Then, someone else showed up. Someone in a wardrobe far more magnificent than anyone else, a mask sparkling with gems and intricately painted. Like some sort of high priest or magician or other prestigious, ancient leader.

“Welcome!” His voice boomed over the assembly, and a hush fell, the music falling silent “I am so pleased you could make it to my fantastic New Year’s party!” the seemingly important man continued, his tone pleased and excited. “We are at last approaching the passing of this rather droll and disappointing year, and I am thrilled to announce that, once more, we have found a suitable guest to help us ring in the fresh calendar in our special, exciting fashion!”

I was starting to feel even warmer than I was before. I squirmed uneasily, a strange feeling distracting me, like a tightness building deep in my core. “Ah, yes, as always the event is right on time!” Even now you can see our special guest beginning to feel the effects of our celebration!”

All eyes turned to me. I shrank back, concerned, but still that tightness only seemed to intensify, and I bit my lip as I felt sweat bead on my forehead. The resplendent man swaggered toward me, before kneeling down and carefully touching my belly with his hand. I shivered, the skin there far more sensitive than it had ever been. “Ah, don’t worry dear.” The host of this said, loud enough for the silent room to hear. “It’s natural for you to be a bit more sensitive. Most women tend to get that way when they’re expecting, and you’re but one hour away from meeting your bundle of joy.”

I looked down at where my captor’s hand was caressing my flesh. Expecting? No, I wasn’t… I couldn’t be… “There we go… starting to show already, right on schedule. So reliable and precise, they are.” I couldn’t help but whimper as I saw what the resplendent man was talking about. A tiny bulge was starting to press out under his fingertips, just above my freshly shaved groin.

“Congratulations are in order, I suppose. You’re a mommy now, isn’t that lovely?” Tears welled in my eyes as the one taunting me continued to tenderly, gently stroke my baby bump. “N-no… I can’t be… I never…” “Ah, but you are!” The man replied, rising and raising his voice once more. “And these creatures young are very predictable. At exactly the stroke of midnight, you will give birth to your inhuman child, blessing the New Year with new life!”

The assembled crowd cheered as I cried out in protest. I begged someone to let me go, apologized for whatever I had done wrong, pleaded with them to get this thing, whatever it was, out of me. But nobody was listening.

The music began once more, the costumed man sauntered away, surrounded by people who seemed to adore him, and once more everywhere was talking and laughing and dancing.

I’d been impregnated against my will. And worse, by something not even human. It was growing quickly, and the sensations were intense. There was a tight pulling feeling inside as my womb stretched and grew to keep up with the thing my body was happily gestating.

At first, it was hard to tell I was pregnant, but within ten more minutes it was obvious. The swell of my midriff became more pronounced, and although my bellybutton was resting on the bump at an odd angle, it was being shifted toward the center as my unasked for child filled me more by the minute.

People started to approach me now. Most just stroked my belly, saying how amazing I looked, how they were sure I’d do an amazing job, “put on a good show” as more than a few said. A few others were more bold, toying with my breasts or slipping a hand down between my legs. A felt mostly thicker, clumsier male fingers rubbing over my womanhood, but to my surprise more than a couple of thin, precise female digits immediately found my sensitive button and teased it for a few moments as well, making me whimper and gasp, overwhelmed by how sensitive my sex had become as a result of my condition.

I continued growing the life that had been forced into my womb, unable to do anything to slow or stop it. As I got bigger, visits became more frequent, my more bold attendants becoming more frequent. I was asked questions. How it felt to be pregnant. “Awful. I didn’t want this.” I would reply. They would usually chuckle knowingly or nod, saying something foreboding like “Poor thing. And you haven’t even begun labor…” As my bellybutton began to drift toward the center of my fertile swell, at last taking the position so many were familiar with, people began to touch and play with that as well, asking how sensitive it was, telling me they couldn’t wait to see it push out.

Inevitably, that moment came. My navel was pulled flat as I entered my third trimester. Then, as time dragged on, it was forced into an outie, a extra nub on top of the swollen, tight, hot orb that my once flat midriff had become. I felt so heavy, so full. I was sweating constantly, I felt like I was burning up.

The guests started to tease my outie, which had become incredibly sensitive. I felt ashamed of how wet I had become, how easy it was to send pleasure dancing over my skin and into my core with the gentlest of touches.

I would plead with the people who came to enjoy my condition. Beg them to let me go, to get the baby out, to at least tell me what was going on. But most of them were only there to use me for their own amusement. Someone started teasing my clit, tugging at it and rolling back the hood to stroke the base, and I found myself panting and arching my back, toes curling as I felt an intense tightness building at my core. “I’m gonna… gonna… oh god no don’t make me!” I gasped.

But they did. I couldn’t help it. Disgusted with myself, my entire body shuddered as I was forced to orgasm. They kept going, faster and with even more precision, I could do nothing to stop them. I came even harder as they moaned in arousal. Then, a third and final time, my screams echoing through the room, I squirted. Some people giggled, others moaned, commenting on how sexy it was.

I broke down. As the latest visitor walked away, I sobbed, staring at my belly, feeling my juices cooling on my thighs, helpless and pregnant and feeling violated. Even worse was that I had orgasmed, knowing that, in some way, some part of me enjoyed what was happening, what had just been done to me even though I was begging them to stop.

From then on, most of my tormentors only approached to fondle my increasingly gravid orb. The masked strangers kept massaging the point just below my protruding navel, saying they were trying to keep my muscles nice and relaxed, telling me to stay calm no matter what, that if I tensed up and fought my baby it would only be worse, hurt more.

I had no idea what they were talking about. It was hard to imagine me being more distressed than I was now. And how would not tensing make it hurt less? Wasn’t the point that I was supposed to push the baby out?

I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, I could feel it. I was huge, the weight in my belly was shifting down, changing my fecund mount from a drum-tight shining orb into a low-hanging oblong shape. I could feel movement from inside, nudging and kicking and squirming. It made me feel utterly helpless. I’d grown an inhuman child within my womb, even though I’d never asked for it, never wanted it. And soon, it would come out.

Once more, the well-dressed host strode near me, standing off to the side as I stared at my life-filled belly, feeling hot and sore and defeated. “Ladies and Gentelmen!” The flamboyantly dressed man called. “Soon, it will be time. There are but ten minutes remaining in this year, and it is time for the old to pass on, and make way for the new! You can see, even now, the child is eager to emerge from its shell. Let us celebrate and encourage the arrival of our newest friend!”

The gathered crowd cheered, but I wasn’t certain what the masked man meant. What did he mean even now? The baby was just kicking a bit more than normal. I wasn’t having contractions or anything.

Some of the party-goers walked around and continued dancing, dining, and joking. But now I had become something of a main event. Many of the ones that had been enjoying themselves at my expense were now gathered as close as they dared, watching my every move and shift with a hungry gaze. Like they were watching for something they knew would come any second now.

I wished the awful thing inside me would stop kicking, it was distracting. There were little bumps where the pushes from inside were coming from, the same spot over and over, just below my outie. “Please… stop kicking baby, you’re starting to make me sore there. Just… just be nice and I promise I’ll birth you as soon as I can.”

I felt stupid for trying to bargin with the creature in my belly. Even more so as dark chuckles and snickers came from the assembled crowd. But I ignored them, waiting for the contractions to begin.

I waited.

And waited.

The minutes crawled on, and I was groaning in discomfort, the repeated nudges on that same spot beneath my belly-button becoming more painful under the repeated kicks. Those, in turn, seemed to almost be getting stronger. The little bumps began to press out further, and I began to breathe heavily, trying not to let the masked freaks surrounding me know how much the movement of my unasked for child were hurting me.

A particularly strong hit forced a low groan to escape me as I leaned my head back. Why wouldn’t it stop hitting that same stupid spot?! It was getting really sensitive, sending pain radiating along the surface of my full-term swell. I gradually shifted from heavy, controlled breathing to panting, gasping in air as the unpleasant sensations intensified.

The crowd started to murmur in excitement, pointing at the repeated rising bumps in my skin, though

I couldn’t make out what everyone was saying. One woman’s voice came out clear, however. “It’s coming, see how hard it’s starting to push? She’s going to meet her baby so soon, no matter how bad it hurts!”

Slowly, the meaning of that began to clarify. These movements… they weren’t little baby kicks. They were deliberate. I’d read stories about this, seen articles. But it was always something that was dismissed as a myth, not something that really happened. I didn’t understand. “I… I c-can’t be… ugh… b-bursting!” I managed to gasp as the thrusting intensified.

I was met with cruel laughter.

“No… No, you can’t d-do this I AGH! This can’t b-be happening it’s nOUAH! N-not something that really hAHHHN! Happens!” It was getting worse as the efforts of my terrible unasked for child became more powerful, faster. Somone called that there were only five minutes left, and I let out a cry as a particularly strong thrust caught me off guard.

The skin was starting to bruise, becoming a deep purple splotch that radiated out from the central point of my inhuman offspring’s assault. He wouldn’t stop slamming against me, and I could feel little sharp things digging into my skin, teeth biting and claws scratching. This was really happening.

“Please someone heeEEAAAHHH! It hurts so baaaAAAHHHD!!!” I couldn’t stop crying out in agony, it was getting worse with every shove. And they were coming so quickly now, as someone called we were down to two minutes.

I was starting to convulse as the pulling sensation became too much for me. Each thrust made me spasm again, lightning torment radiating out from the spot the monster inside me had chosen to emerge from. “Hurts oh PLUGHHH! Agh, ugh, PLEAAASEEE!!!” I could barely speak, the pressure from inside was driving me insane, and the shoves came one after another, at least two every second.

Everyone was watching now, there were more than a few lustful moans at my condition. Whispers circled me. “She’s so close…” “She’s gonna hatch like a good egg…” “I want’s wait to see her tear open…” “Listen to her screaming god yes…” everyone enjoying the show, nobody lifting a finger to help.

“Alright everyone!” The host cried from some location I couldn’t see. “It’s time for the countdown! Let this poor remnant of the old, dying year know how long she has before the child of the new year is born from her broken body!”

“20!” I could hear a disgusting tearing sound, like cardboard that had been soaked being shredded. It was coming from inside me.

“19!” I couldn’t keep myself from screaming incoherently. The thing, it was being born through my belly, it was coming OUT OF ME!

“18!” I tried to do what I was told to, tried to relax, but I couldn’t help it, it all hurt so bad.

“17!” The bruise was huge, my skin surging forward over and over, my body struggling to hold itself together.

“16!” The countdown was driving me insane, telling me how long I had left before the inevitable. Before the baby burst out of me.

“15!” The thrusting was so strong, so agonizing, I would give anything to make it stop.

“14!” More tearing sounds, my body was breaking from inside, my inhuman child was killing me.

“13!” I thrust my belly forward, trying to do anything to relieve the maddening pressure of the thing inside trying to rip me open.

“12!” I could feel blood pouring from the wounds that had been formed in my womb.

“11!” It wasn’t stopping, I could feel the fibers buckling, giving way…

“10!” A sickening sound as my uterus ruptured, and I let out a shriek of pure agony. Now it only had to break through the skin, and the nightmare I’d been raped pregnant with would be born.

“9!” The thrusting wouldn’t stop, I could feel the teeth and claws like hot knives.

“8!” I couldn’t even scream it hurt so bad, the audience was watching in silence, eager for the climax. But still, the host’s booming voice counted down the last seconds of my terrible labor.

“7!” My toes curled into tight balls, my fingers forming tight fists as everything tensed. I pulled at my restraints, knowing it was too late to escape, but driven by the primal need to escape the pain.

“6!” I tried to kick my legs, to scoot backwards away from the thing inside me that wanted to push forwards so badly. My whole body trembled and convulsed.

“5!” I cried out again as a tiny rip formed in my flesh, sending a small jet of crimson shooting forward.

“4!” Thrust, thrust, thrust, the wound ripping sickeningly a bit wider each time.

“3!” I couldn’t escape couldn’t fight it, it hurt so bad please just make it end!

“2!” Someone in the crowd cried “You’re doing so good, I can see the head!”

“1!” The pain was so overwhelming, so all consuming, I cried out one last time: “IT HURTS SO BAD IT’S BEING BOOORRRNNN!”

Thrust!

Thrust!

THRUST!!!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The host called as confetti exploded from the ceiling, just as a spray of blood erupted from my ruined, swollen belly, the awful warbling of my newborn monster joining the freshly re-started music. The crowd cheered excitedly, embracing and kissing among other things. The host came over to pull the beast he’d forced me to deliver from my destroyed midsection. “Ah, such a cutie, there you are!” he cooed to the thing that had killed me.

“Wh… why?” I managed to gasp out. The masked man looked at me, head tilted. “It’s the theme, my dear.” He replied. “Out with the old, in with the new and all. It’s just bad luck you happened to be chosen as the old.”

The words sent a chill down my spine, deeper than even the cold radiating from the gaping wound my unasked for child had made as it was born. I at last managed to lay back and relax, gazing at the swirling color that was the room and the blurry orgy that was starting to build momentum in front of me. I closed my eyes, savoring the tune of “Auld Lang Syne” one last time…

[tangledinink]

Hi, I really love your AUs, can't wait to see more!

eEEEE THANK YOU ; w ; this all so sweet and makes me so happy aaaAAAAAA

ask dump below~

he was 5'3" previously, he's now more like five feet maybe a little bit less. if you were to measure him and mikey back to back, mikey would be a tiny bit taller. you can't really tell yet, though, since donnie currently can't stand, and up until now he was constantly on tip-toes. he's also just very underweight right now, which makes him seem even smaller. as he recovers and gains some weight back, he'll seem a bit less itty-bitty.

thank you! ; w ; also while i don't think he's ever, like, straight up wiggled his fingers at a boy, i do think he occasionally gets a little fidgety/twitchy with his hands and fingers when he has a crush. maybe also tends to do little arm/shoulder touches with his outstretched fingers as well when he's flirting. u w u

It's completely gone! his tummy and hips are now just like the other exposed parts of his body, like his arms and legs-- just skin and scales. I don't think it ever actually came up in the main part of the comic, but is illustrated in his reference image in the masterpost! Also don't worry, no ill-effects from being crop-topped. It'll just take a bit of getting used to. (If anything, it's a bit of a boon at the moment for the rest of the fam. A lot of medical care is a lot easier without plastron blocking the patient's entire torso.)

HEHEHE, thank you <3 i love making them wag their tails I think it's so cute and silly... <3 I think Raph (across all AU's, lol) has definitely accidentally hurt himself wagging his tail in excitement on at least one occasion.

Oh gosh. It's hard to say because it's such a spectrum... It would have to be a pretty nasty injury for the witchdoctors to not be able to do something about it. But assuming they can't... Big Mama would never outright ask the Gems to perform on a serious injury, but the twins would definitely feel pressure to continue performing for as long as they possibly could, and to keep recovery time as short as possible. If they had to take time off to heal, they would, (and have in the past,) but they'd definitely be impatient to get back on the field. If the injury is truly so bad that one or both of them can no longer perform, they'd probably both retire, (though extremely reluctantly, and doing so would be incredibly heartbreaking for them and cause them a lot of grief and guilt,) because neither would want to go on without the other. There might be some pushback from Big Mama, though, and the uninjured party could potentially be convinced, with enough time and enough conversations, to make a comeback...

Poorly. It'd probably go about the same way it did for Donnie, except worse the second time around. They'd probably both be in trouble for it-- Leo for keeping things for her, and Donnie because she (correctly) assumes that he's 'influenced' Leo somehow, since he did the same thing first.

he is being SOOOO brave right now... but he can't NOT. not when his kids are on the line :< though I will say, you're being quite optimistic about how his conversation with Big Mama is gonna go... 👀

lmao april is maybe in a TEENSY bit over her head, bless her. splinter definitely struggled over whether or not to bring her with him to see big mama. he tried to convince her to let him escort her back home once he realized where he had to go, but of course she wouldn't hear of it. thought about having her wait outside, but... is so reluctant to leave her alone in the hidden city... knew she would probably pushback anyway, too, so...

the twins will definitely have a ton of therapy and healing to tackle in the future <3 my poor sweet baby boys....

THANK YOU <3 <3 <3

@11bountyhunters @oh-my-muffins @oneshortlove @khlegacynexus @animal-lover-forever @wings-of-sapphire @devious-little-creature @riseleon

[ptn-imagines]

Any thoughts on what a romantic relationship with Countess Chelsea would be like? 🥺 Thank you very much for your hard work, you're doing great 💛

Thank you for your kind words! As a matter of fact, I've thought about this often... You didn't specify, so I just wrote for Chief!Reader!

Romantic relationship between Countess Chelsea and Chief

It’s a relationship that surprises even the Chief themself, though they’re firm on one thing with Chelsea: they’re her partner, not her sugar baby. Please stop asking.

Chelsea does, in fact, stop asking, but not for the reasons you might think. Rather, she has everything she wants already; it’s normal to spoil your partner, isn't it? Why risk upsetting her beloved Chief over it?

This naturally means that Chief has to set boundaries very quickly, firmly stating that if Chelsea can't respect them, their relationship won't continue.

Chelsea pouts about it, but ultimately, her love for Chief wins out and she backs off.

Well, somewhat. She'll still buy the Chief a multitude of fancy and expensive gifts and shower them in gems, at first. Over time, as her relationship with the Chief develops, she'll swap from attaining gifts for Chief with her money to attaining opportunities for Chief with her influence. She's not afraid of using her power to lean on some influential people, and Chief will find themself having more free time than ever before.

Of course, when many of these outing opportunities inevitably turn into Mania incidents, Chelsea is fiercely loyal and protective. Sitri is always at Chief's side. If there are humans, not just Corruptors and Mania entities, involved in the crisis, if anyone tries to hurt the Chief… Chelsea will take care of them.

Chelsea doesn't take pleasure in making people disappear, but they're giving more worth to society as pretty gemstone statues anyway…

This behavior is the source of many disagreements between Chelsea and Chief, and is probably the biggest threat to their relationship. Chief absolutely hates this method of protecting them, but Chelsea is stubborn. Then again, so is Chief – plus they know that to some degree, it's an instinctive reaction triggered by Chelsea's Mania. They want to help Chelsea improve, but they know that it's not going to happen overnight.

In the occasional moments where Chief retires early, they like to visit Chelsea in her cell. The Countess is always incredibly excited and insists on Chief staying the night. When Chief answers that it's not allowed, she pouts and asks to at least cuddle Chief for a bit and help them get ready for bed. This, at least, is something Chief agrees to; it's something that thrills Chelsea too, since Chief doesn't usually let her be super physically affectionate during the day. She'll take these chances to plant soooo many kisses over her beloved Chief.

Mostly, affection during the day is limited to moments where Chelsea feels compelled to “mark her territory.” She's a jealous type, but can mostly restrain her reaction to other Sinners’ flirting to huffs and puffs and pouts… Except for a few Sinners that tend to cross a line for her.

Take Eirene, for example. The Countess despises Quinn's president in particular. Chelsea isn't blind to how Eirene treats her darling Chief as a pawn or property, and she's not afraid to get hissy when confronting the S-Rank, telling her to keep her paws off her Chief! Eirene never listens, though, which leads to common and heated altercations between the two. Chief has to keep them both separated for their own safety, though they're secretly touched at how far Chelsea is willing to go to defend them.

Whenever Chief sends her on a dispatch mission, Chelsea begs for the Chief to come with her. Usually, Chief has to decline, much to the Countess's disappointment, but on the rare occasion the Chief is actually able to accompany her, Chelsea never shows anything less than perfect performance.

Chelsea is also way too comfortable with barging into the Chief's office unannounced. She's hardly the only one, but she's definitely one of the most noticeable – constantly trying to sweep Chief away from their work to spend time with her. It's both distracting and endearing.

Oh, and Chelsea has planned the wedding out down to the last detail, of course. Chief nearly had a heart attack when she announced her plans, and reminded her that they weren't even engaged.

Chelsea tried to propose then and there, and has done so several times after as well, in exceedingly romantic gestures. Chief has said no each time, much to the Countess's profound disappointment, but… Honestly, if not for their job? They would've said yes already.

Sometimes, Chief wonders if they're doing Chelsea a disservice by being with her when their job demands so much of their time… But Chelsea always shushes them, saying that as long as she can have them, nothing else matters…

…Though if Chief wanted to quit, she wouldn't object to providing for them. This usually gets a fond eye roll and a gentle slap on the wrist from Chief.

[mommy-dust]

Hands, Favorite Colors, & LED lights

- Cirrus has pale, veiny hands and she frequently wears black gel nail polish (she doesn’t want it to chip :<) plus jewelry she gets at shows and from the rest of the pack. Her favorite color is neon green, but she tends to keep her lights red.

- Aurora has soft and thin hands with painted nails, they seem professional, but Cumulus does them. Aurora loves putting lil gems on them and is obsessed with gradients. She also wears a gold ring with a pink heart shaped crystal that she got from Copia for her birthday :>. Her favorite color is pastel purple and she keeps her lights the same way.

- Cumulus has buttery soft hands, you’ll hold them and just melt, they’re also comfortably warm and AASDGDHDHSJSKSKKS just amazing. She paints her nails her favorite color - baby blue, and the lights in her room are white, which seems weird, but it adds a certain effect.

- Sodo/Dew has hands that are way too big for him and incredibly rough and callused, also very very warm, which is great when you have cramps, but not when you just want to hold his hands :(. Dew/Sodo paints his nails black, but he scratches it off (on purpose) His favorite color is red, and he doesn’t like lights much, except he occasionally uses blue when he misses being a water ghoul :( other than that his room is lit by candles.

- Swiss has massive hands, also very veiny. He doesn’t tend to paint his nails because it comes off in certain situations… his favorite color is

- Phantom has soft hands, somehow he plays his guitar without calluses, because they make his fingies feel icky so he soaks them off :( his favorite color is electric purple and he has gold fairy lights in his room <3

- Mountain has HUGE HANDS LIKE THE BIGGEST THINGS YOU’VE EVER SEEN, and they’re soft, great for SNATCHING YOU 👹👹 (he didn’t want to scare you :() his favorite color is olive green and he keeps his LED lights orange :3

- Rain has pretty jacked hands tbh- because bass strings are crazy thick- but he’s got calluses as expected. His favorite color is sapphire and he likes his lights dark blue :))

[mymanyfandomramblings]

I was just thinking about Steven Universe, and I was joking about how in Beach City the dads are all mostly used for comedy (except for Greg bc he's a major character, but even he's occasionally used for jokes), meanwhile the mothers could kill a man, when I realised about how well Steven Universe, even with the background characters, deconstruct the 'bumbling dad/hypercompetent mother' tropes.

It's pretty common in TV shows to have absolutely terrible dad characters, who can range from mildly incompetent to straight-up abusive, and it's extremely unusual to see a show where the father is the more competent parent than the mother. Steven Universe, however, shakes up the normal dynamic. At first Greg is everything you'd expect from your bumbling sitcom dad: he looks like a bit of a slob, he's a hoarder, he's far less attractive than Rose, the Gems don't think very highly of him, and he works a rather unimpressive career, having failed to achieve his dreams. But Greg goes on to prove himself not only as a competent parent to Steven, but probably the most competent of any of Steven's parental figures (and we all know if Rose had been able to live, she would hardly have been a wonderful parent either). This is not, however, to say that Greg is perfect--far from it, he has plenty of faults, but no more so than any other character. The point is: Greg may have the outward trappings of a bumbling dad, but subverts the trope instead, by being a responsible, caring and genuinely good parent.

The show also deconstructs the 'bumbling dad's' sister trope--the badass mama bear who is incredibly competent at running their family, and is involved with their children's lives. The mothers we see around Beach City--Barb Miller, Priyanka Maheswaran and Vidalia (as well as the Crystal Gems, who are Steven's maternal figures) all pretty much fit this trope, although certain of them fulfil certain parts of the description better than others. However, the show does display that none of them are perfect parents. Barb would clearly die and/or kill for Sadie and would love to be a part of her daughter's life, but there's multiple episodes dedicated to showing how stifled Sadie feels by her mother's enthusiasm and desire to be involved in her life. Dr. Maheswaran is incredibly competent but is also hyper-controlling of Connie, leading to a breakdown in their relationship. Vidalia is clearly a cool mum who supports all her children's ambitions--which would be great, if one of her children wasn't Onion, who would probably benefit more from discipline, rather than just affirmation of his behaviour--which ranges from minor crime to full-scale mayhem. And this isn't even starting on discussing the Gems and their failures when it comes to their parenting.

I just think it's really intriguing how Steven Universe plays with and subverts the classic tropes when it comes to parents and the roles and expectations of each parent. It's another example of why the show is so good at deconstructing classic character archetypes and tropes.

[es46]

A carapaceon that evokes mantis shrimps, massive lobsters, and the notion of hydrothermal environments - METAMOR-DECA Title - Hyperthermal crab Monster class - Carapaceon Known locales - Locales rich in magma/lava upwellings, occasional forays to mountainous environments Element/Ailment - Soiled + Dragon + Fire Elemental weakness - Ice (3), Water (3), Dragon (2), Thunder (0), Fire (0) Ailment weakness - Paralysis (3), Sleep (3), Poison (1), Stun (0), Blast (0) Metamor-Deca is a carapaceon known to inhabit environments where magma upwellings are prominent, though occasionally venturing to mountainous terrain. Recognised by its burly frame, with enormous chelipeds modified into club-like structures and a flexible abdomen that swings a cudgel-like end, Metamor-Deca coats its shell in volcanic material. The reinforced carapace and sturdy limbs enable excellent defensive integrity, with its head defended by spear-like antennae and its second and fifth pair of limbs adjusted for delicate handling. Predominantly a herbivore, feeding on the few plant and lichen species able to survive close to lava flows, Metamor-Deca is also known to be an effective lithophage, easily ingesting many inorganic materials. They tend to gravitate to rich mineral upwellings, where they may also harvest rock and gems to affix to their reddish-black shells and bolster their defences. Because of their defensive integrity, Metamor-Deca is rarely bothered by other creatures, and it is perfectly tolerant of humans in close proximity. However, any motion towards its current favoured food supply can be interpreted as thievery, goading the carapaceon to lash out. Researchers must pay close attention to their surroundings when observing Metamor-Deca and remain very still if they feel it is agitated. As expected, Metamor-Deca relies on its hard shell to fend off the few monsters that would dare attack it. Waste products from its plant diet accumulate in pores below its carapace and can be released as a noxious gas, augmented by ashen materials affixed to its rocky coating. But if the enemy persists, Metamor-Deca will charge its limbs with dragon energy and lash out with the blunt abdomen and pincers. If even this is not enough, Metamor-Deca will enrage and enter what is called a Molten State. Its dragon energy superheats its body, destroying its rocky coating whilst raising its mobility. Now venting heat able to induce a Fire effect, Metamor-Deca attacks with incredible ferocity, though this Molten State cannot be maintained for long. Metamor-Deca tend to live solitary lives, defending their turf vehemently against rivals, but when the time comes to reproduce, the carapaceons migrate to mountainous environments. There, the adults mate with any compataible partner and then bury the eggs before leaving them to their fate. The young that emerge have specialised membranes on their second and fifth limbs that allow them to glide, letting them travel their environment in search of food with ease. Eventually these membranes will atrophy as the juveniles reach adulthood, coaxing them to leave the mountains and seek out lava flows. Metamor-Deca is renowned as an apex in its environment (Low Rank - 5, High/Master Rank - 4) and so presents a formidable challenge. When facing it in its shelled form, hunters should focus on its more vulnerable joints and abdomen, baiting its powerful attacks to leave it open. Once the beast is enraged and enters its Molten State, water and ice weapons will prove effective at inducing temperature shock. Pitfall traps are not effective against Metamor-Deca, who easily climbs free, but shock traps can stymie it. As expected of such a heavily armoured creature, Metamor-Deca has very few enemies, beyond exceptional specimens such as Deviljho or Teostra. One consistent rival, surprisingly, is the piscine wyvern Daemona Xocoe, which may prey on juvenile Metamor-Deca. Adults that encounter this foe thus attack it with extreme prejudice. - Thank you for reading and take care.

[maleficentmrsofallevil]

My favorite wigs

Ankle is being a diva again (no walk, just sit), and I'm chatty.

Surprise! My favorite wigs are becoming more expensive - but there are some affordable ones, too.

Leekeworld: many available in-stock from Denver Doll Emporium (DDE). They run about $30 each, but there are a few on sale. I like them because they are soft, on the thinner side (so they lay nice and flat on the doll's head), and they are sewn to an elastic wig cap. I prefer size 7-8 for almost all of my big girls, cuz 8-9 seems a little too big for most heads (exceptions: Volks, Domuya, Supiadoll, and Little Monica. Those girls got some big noggins).

This is a particular favorite (Blend Misty 7/8):

This 60cm-1/3 size brown-black wig from AliExpress for $6.79 currently. It's thin and incredibly soft. AliExpress wigs are very touch-and-go: for the most part, they require significant alterations (thinning, bang trimming), but considering how cheap they are, I'm willing to risk it to find the occasional gem. Wefts are sewn to an elastic wig cap. Currently on Leona:

That's a silver Leekeworld wig on Doll Chateau Bella on the Y-Body-06 in size 6/7, by the way. Imomodoll Dio/Rei is wearing a size 9-10 silver wig that I'm pretty sure I got on sale from DDE.

Iplehouse: made for their dolls specifically. Wefts are sewn to an elastic wig cap. Lots of folks complain that the wigs are too thick and look fake, but I (a) don't care, and (b) love the vibrant colors. Aaliyah is wearing size 8-9 IHW_M075 in Sienna (currently $16.10 plus shipping):

Natural fibers. HOOOO boy, if I thought Leekeworld wigs were pricey, moving into the natural fiber world has been pure sticker shock. Getting one of these for $30 is a STEAL. They tend to run in the $50 and up range. Natural fiber wigs are generally made of animal hair such as alpaca or mohair (goats). A big part of the price is the - well, destink process, to put it bluntly. Goats are stinky. The fibers need to be washed and washed and washed to remove dirt (goats are dirty), stink, and funk. Then dyed, if you want a color other than white or brown. Then you gotta brush the hair and glue it into wefts. A buddy told me about the process after buying unprocessed mohair. No, thank you. I'll just pay someone else, if there's no objections.

However, because these are natural fiber wigs, you don't have the problems that come with styling synthetic (plastic) hair. Human hair dye, curling/flat/crimping irons, and hair products are all good for this kind of hair.

You DO need to worry about the integrity of these wigs. They're frequently glued to hard caps, so no water/wet-wet stuff at the roots. The hair is super fine, so no hard tugging, or you'll pull it out of the wig. But man, are they pretty, and so so soft.

Like custom dolls, outfits, or shoes, these are generally available only from independent artists. Mass-producing these would be a total PITA. And let's be real: you've got to be pretty dedicated to deal with all that goat poop. (Yes, goats have poop on their hair. FREQUENTLY.)

[canadashotspots]

Little Saigon 88

Little Saigon 88 is a charming family-run restaurant offering a delightful mix of Vietnamese, Chinese, and Thai cuisine. Regulars rave about the authentic flavors and generous portions, all at incredibly reasonable prices. The restaurant's menu is extensive, with over eight pages of options, ensuring there's something for everyone.

Guests appreciate the friendly and quick service, often noting the kindness of the owner. Highlights include the Hue-style pho, which is highly flavorful, and the pork spring rolls, which are comparable to any top Vietnamese restaurant. The deep-fried soft-shell crabs are a must-try, offering a satisfying crunch.

Despite some minor critiques, such as the occasional slow service and strong orange flavor in the Pad Thai, most dishes receive high praise. The pho is particularly lauded for its fresh meat, great portion sizes, and authentic broth. Little Saigon 88 is also noted for its thoughtful packaging, keeping ingredients separate to maintain maximum freshness.

This hidden gem in Oakville is perfect for those seeking a variety of Asian cuisines, with standout dishes like Tom Yum soup and Malaysian-style rice noodles. The cozy atmosphere and exceptional food make it a favorite for both takeout and dine-in experiences.

Menu or list of services:

Services and amenities:

Delivery Food with you Food in the institution

Name of institution:

Little Saigon 88

Address:

2501 Prince Michael Dr Unit D1, Oakville, ON L6H 0E9

Contact information:

(905) 995-7979

Category of establishments:

Restaurant of Vietnamese cuisine

Web site: https://littlesaigon88.ca/

[athomewithlauraandpepe]

**Laura and Pepe’s Guide to De Beauvoir**

From the moment I strolled past the vibrant Hectors on a crisp autumn evening while on my way to view my flat, I knew De Beauvoir had captured my heart. Nearly 18 months have passed since then, and I've had the privilege of calling this enchanting pocket of London home. In that time, I've explored the diverse and delightful establishments that dot the neighbourhood, each contributing its own unique flair to the tapestry of De Beauvoir.

**EAT**

*SWEET THURSDAY* - Indulge in mouthwatering pizza, pasta, and delightful salads at this gem. Whether you choose to dine in or opt for a takeaway via online ordering or Deliveroo, be sure to try the Pesto Dip—it's an absolute game-changer. And don't forget to explore their fantastic selection of natural wines in the bottle shop.

*THE TALBOT* - Immerse yourself in the cosy gastropub vibes of The Talbot. With a consistently excellent menu and a roast that's nothing short of exceptional, this intimate spot also boasts a selection of meticulously crafted cocktails.

*THE HUNTER S* - Affectionately known as the 'porn pub,' The Hunter S is a haven for delectable pub grub and roasts. Don't miss their honey mustard sausages—my personal favourite. It's also a fantastic spot to bask in the summer sun on their outdoor benches.

*DE BEAUVOIR ARMS* - Surprise, surprise—more delicious pub food awaits at De Beauvoir Arms. Their memorable roast, especially the incredible chicken gravy, has secured its place in my heart. Whether it's a laid-back weekday evening or a weekend lunch, DBA never disappoints, offering a tempting £8.50 lunch menu on weekdays.

**DRINK**

*HECTORS* - This lively spot holds a special place in my heart, as I first spotted it while viewing my flat. The outdoor buzz, come rain or shine, complements a curated collection of natural wines, making Hectors a perennial favourite.

*THE SCOLT HEAD* - While it rightfully deserves a spot in the 'eat' section, I can't help but categorise it under 'drink' due to the sheer fun it exudes. Many unplanned nights out have stemmed from the infectious vibes at The Scolt Head.

*DUKE OF YORK* - What sets Duke of York apart for me is its ambient lighting—vintage French style that creates the cosiest atmosphere. Beyond the aesthetics, they also know their way around a good cocktail.

*ROSEMARY BRANCH* - Despite being in the 'drink' section, Rosemary Branch is renowned for its soulful atmosphere. Known for a great roast and the occasional piano accompaniment at 4 pm, it's a delightful pub that transcends expectations.

**BRUNCH**

*DE BEAUVOIR DELI* - A renowned spot for a leisurely brunch, De Beauvoir Deli offers a cosy setting, even during winter when you can snugly sit outside with a blanket. With a regularly changing menu, it's perfect for a sit-down meal or grab-and-go options like bagels and coffee.

*BOBO & WILD* - Nestled on the edge of De Beauvoir, overlooking Shoreditch Park, Bobo & Wild is a go-to for a tasty brunch. Friendly staff and a comfortable ambiance make it an excellent spot for both indulgence and productivity.

**COFFEE**

This section, perhaps unsurprisingly, is the most extensive, reflecting the abundance of excellent coffee spots in the area. It's worth mentioning that, although I'm not a coffee drinker myself, my friends who are enthusiasts confirm the delightful quality of coffee in the below. I will however highlight the things I love about these establishments as I go.

*DE BEAUVOIR DELI* - Beyond its delectable British fare, the Deli's vibrant scene outside and a hatch for takeaway coffee make it a morning go-to. Don't miss the Dusty Knuckle cinnamon bun—a personal morning ritual.

*DE BEAUVOIR WHOLEFOODS* - Right across from the Deli, Wholefoods serves up more than just groceries. A hatch offers coffee, hot and cold beverages, baked goods, and sandwiches. My personal favourite? The Turmeric Latte.

*BATCH BABY* - Embracing a hip and trendy vibe, Batch Baby, located in the Rose Lipman building, offers a cosy space that doubles as a perfect spot to work.

*2&4 VINTAGE* - Enjoy your coffee surrounded by beautiful vintage pieces at 2&4 Vintage. Maurice's fabulous collection adds a touch of charm to your coffee and cake experience.

*52A COFFEE HOUSE* - Selma's beautiful coffee shop on the corner of Southgate and Downham Road boasts a cosy atmosphere and an extensive selection of delicious cakes and brownies.

*MIRA* - Opposite The Hunter S, Mira stands out with its charming tiles that read 'Milk, Eggs, Butter.' Offering basic staples and salads, it's a fantastic spot for a quick coffee fix. My personal favourite? The homemade cake.

**DO**

*ROSEMARY BRANCH THEATRE* - Inside the pub where I once spotted Greg James, the Rosemary Branch Theatre hosts a variety of performances and community experiences, ranging from theatre and comedy to live music and workshops. Keep an eye out for the upcoming festival of female, femme, and non-binary-led clowning and comedy called 'Look for the Woman,' starting on March 1st.

*JAZZ @ SCOLT HEAD* - Every last Thursday of the month, the back room at The Scolt Head transforms into a jazz club with Peter Werth and his Jazz Crew. Having recently discovered this hidden gem, I'm committed to making it a regular occurrence. The experience is truly incredible, and booking a table is a must.

*REGENTS CANAL* - Embark on a scenic journey along Regent's Canal. Head left towards Haggerston, London Fields, and eventually Victoria Park to discover seasonal gems like Towpath and bustling markets like Broadway Market and Victoria Park Market on weekends. If you turn right along Regents Canal, you'll find yourself in Angel, with Camden Passage being my favourite spot in the area.

[gaygamesstarringmary]

the two genders: cute and cool

There were two editions of Harvest Moon DS: Cute and Cool. In both games, you were able to grow crops, raise animals, and bond with villagers. However, the gender of your character was determined by which edition you bought. In Cute, you were forced to be a girl. In Cool, you were forced to be a boy.

I played Cool first. This was back in the day of video rental stores, many of which included a small section for video games. My parents took me occasionally and allowed me to pick out a game to play for a night or two. I had a Nintendo DS and, although I can’t remember if I had the Wii yet, I regularly got games for both.

Cool was the only edition of Harvest Moon: DS available at the rental shop. So that’s what I got.

I fell in love with this game, although it was incredibly mediocre in hindsight. For one, that game doesn’t allow same-sex relationships. A lot of spiritual successors, such as the Rune Factory series still don’t allow you to date girls as a girl. And of course, I always date girls in the Harvest Moon-esque game (except in Stardew Valley, where my savior complex fought my love for women and won). I dated the rich girl in Cool. She was easy to impress. Her favorite gifts were common in the mines: jewelry and gems.

Although I grew attached to the game, my parents made me return it. But a few weeks later, as I was still bugging them about it, they brought me to Gamestop for the purpose of buying Harvest Moon: DS. I hopped and skipped the way there and waltzed to the Nintendo DS section of Gamestop. 

But Cool was not there. In its place, a single copy of Cute. But goddammit I didn’t want to play as a girl. My mom called over an employee, who broke the horrible news to me that they didn’t have Cool. He was a white teenage boy and looked at me like white teenage boys looked at gay and gender-non-conforming folk. 

My parents wouldn’t let me return to Gamestop later when they did get Cool. Either I was a girl or I couldn’t buy the game at all. 

I enjoyed playing as a girl, even if all the male romantic interests sucked complete ass. It was fun dressing up. But, fuck man, I wanted to be a boy and date the rich girl.

While I was playing the game, a wave of melancholy overcame me and I was compelled to visit the rich girl. But she called me a frumpy country girl and I, very offended for my character, never visited her again.

[seoplassy]

Top 10 Reasons to Buy Coriander Powder for Your Kitchen

Spices are the soul of any cuisine, and Coriander Powder is no exception. Known for its distinctive flavor and aromatic qualities, coriander powder, or Dhaniya Powder, is a versatile spice that enhances a wide variety of dishes. Here, we explore the top ten reasons why this spice should be a staple in your kitchen.

1. Enhances Flavor and Aroma

Coriander Powder is a culinary gem that adds a unique flavor and aroma to your dishes. Whether you're cooking a savory curry, a zesty salsa, or a refreshing salad, a sprinkle of Dhaniya Powder can transform your recipe. Its citrusy and slightly sweet undertones make it a perfect addition to both savory and sweet dishes.

2. Health Benefits

Packed with antioxidants, Coriander Powder is known for its numerous health benefits. It aids digestion, reduces inflammation, and helps regulate blood sugar levels. Incorporating this spice into your diet can contribute to overall health and well-being.

3. Versatile Ingredient

Dhaniya Powder is incredibly versatile. It can be used in a variety of dishes, including soups, stews, marinades, and even baked goods. Its adaptability makes it a valuable addition to any spice rack.

4. Long Shelf Life

One of the practical advantages of Coriander Powder is its long shelf life. Unlike fresh coriander, which spoils quickly, Coriander Powder 200g or 500g Coriander Powder packs can be stored for months without losing their potency. This ensures you always have a fresh supply ready for your culinary needs.

5. Cost-Effective

Buying Coriander Powder in bulk, such as 500g Coriander Powder or Coriender Powder 1kg, is cost-effective. Larger packages offer better value for money and reduce the frequency of repurchasing, making it an economical choice for regular use.

6. Easy to Use

Using Coriander Powder is incredibly convenient compared to grinding seeds or chopping fresh coriander. Simply add the required amount to your dish, and you're good to go. This ease of use makes cooking quicker and simpler, especially for busy households.

7. Rich Nutritional Profile

Dhaniya Powder is not just about taste; it's also about nutrition. It is rich in vitamins A, C, and K, along with essential minerals like iron and magnesium. Adding Coriander Powder to your meals can help boost your nutritional intake effortlessly.

8. Culinary Tradition

Coriander Powder has been a staple in culinary traditions around the world for centuries. From Indian curries to Middle Eastern stews and Latin American salsas, this spice has a rich history and cultural significance. Its enduring popularity is a testament to its indispensable role in global cuisines.

9. Availability and Packaging Options

You can easily Buy Coriander Powder in various packaging options to suit your needs. Whether you prefer a compact Coriander Powder 200g pack for occasional use or a larger Coriender Powder 1kg pack for frequent cooking, there are options available for every requirement. This flexibility ensures you always have the right amount on hand.

10. Recipes and Tips

Incorporating Dhaniya Powder into your cooking opens up a world of culinary possibilities. Try adding it to your favorite soup, stew, or marinade for an extra layer of flavor. Here’s a quick tip: for the best results, add coriander powder towards the end of cooking to preserve its aromatic qualities.

Conclusion

Coriander Powder is a versatile, cost-effective, and health-boosting spice that deserves a place in every kitchen. From enhancing the flavor and aroma of your dishes to providing numerous health benefits, the reasons to Buy Coriander Powder are compelling. Whether you opt for a Coriander Powder 200g pack or a bulk Coriender Powder 1kg option, this spice will undoubtedly elevate your culinary creations. So, stock up on Dhaniya Powder today and enjoy the myriad benefits it brings to your cooking.

[gembleu]

Top 5 reasons to love blue zircon jewelry

When it comes to gemstone jewelry, blue zircon stands out as a truly unique and stunning choice. Renowned for its brilliance and captivating hues, blue zircon rings are a favorite among jewelry enthusiasts and fashion aficionados alike.

At Gem Bleu, we take pride in offering a diverse and exquisite collection of blue zircon rings. Here are the top five reasons to fall in love with this enchanting gemstone.

1. Unparalleled Brilliance and Fire

One of the most striking features of blue zircon is its incredible brilliance. Thanks to its high refractive index, blue zircon displays an exceptional level of sparkle and fire that rivals even diamonds. When light hits a blue zircon ring, it reflects in a dazzling array of colors, making it a true showstopper. This gemstone's ability to sparkle so vividly ensures that any piece of blue zircon jewelry you wear will always catch the eye.

2. Rich and Vibrant Color

Blue zircon is celebrated for its stunning and rich blue hues, which can range from a light, sky blue to a deep, vibrant blue reminiscent of the ocean. This versatility in color allows for a wide array of design possibilities, ensuring there is a perfect shade for everyone. Whether you prefer a subtle hint of blue or a bold, intense color, blue zircon rings offer something for every taste and style.

3. Affordability and Value

Despite its beauty and brilliance, blue zircon is relatively affordable compared to other gemstones like sapphires and diamonds. This makes blue zircon jewelry an excellent choice for those who want to own a beautiful and high-quality gemstone without breaking the bank. The affordability of blue zircon rings allows you to enjoy the luxury and elegance of fine jewelry at a fraction of the cost.

4. Durability for Everyday Wear

Blue zircon is not only beautiful but also practical. With a rating of 6.5 to 7.5 on the Mohs hardness scale, it is suitable for everyday wear. This means that blue zircon rings can withstand the rigors of daily activities while maintaining their stunning appearance. Proper care and occasional maintenance can ensure that your blue zircon jewelry remains as brilliant as the day you bought it.

5. Historical and Cultural Significance

Blue zircon has a rich history and has been cherished throughout the ages. In ancient times, it was believed to bring prosperity, honor, and wisdom to its wearer. Its name is derived from the Arabic word "zarqūn," meaning vermilion, and the Persian word "zargun," meaning gold-hued. This gemstone has been used in various cultures for its supposed protective and healing properties. Owning a piece of blue zircon jewelry is not just about its beauty; it's also about connecting with a gemstone that has been valued for centuries.

Discover the Elegance of Blue Zircon Rings

At Gem Bleu, our collection of blue zircon rings showcases the unparalleled beauty and versatility of this remarkable gemstone. Whether you are looking for a stunning engagement ring, a statement piece for a special occasion, or a beautiful addition to your everyday jewelry collection, blue zircon is a perfect choice.

Explore our collection today and find the blue zircon ring that captures your heart and enhances your style.

Embrace the brilliance, color, and history of blue zircon jewelry and let its beauty illuminate your life.

[phoenixknight777]

To Find a Familiar

This is, without a doubt, my favorite work I've ever written to date. It's my favorite setting I've created, and it's become by far the most in depth. I decided a long time ago that this world would be where I set a book if I wrote it. It's just my most well built and my favorite. I hope you enjoy!

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Kade stands before the entrance to a deep cave, armed with nothing but the thin length of inlaid wood that is her focus and three small orbs of glowing crystal. Beside her stand seven other apprentices, all looking at the cave, confused and worried.

As the sun touches the horizon, her master and teacher, the Archmage Orlin, walks out and stands in front of the yawning abyss.

“Greetings pupils. As you all know, all magicians have a dragon. Their Familiar. Some are big, some tiny, but all have one. However, I have withheld from you why that is. Your Familiar acts as a well of Vis, much as you wand acts as a conduit for it. The orbs on your waists store that energy, but your Familiar will provide a near limitless supply. Today, you earn your Familiar and prove you are ready to earn the title of Magician. You will venture into the vast caverns below, find a Familiar, and return. Be prepared for anything, as not all of the dragons will be friendly. Do not think too deeply. Your Familiar will come to you. Lastly, do not venture into the caves marked with red lines. You will surly die if you do. Should you run out of Vis, return to the surface immediately. I shall return at first light. Until then my children…”

And with that, the seemingly elderly man makes a dramatic leap off the edge, and is carried away by his dragon, Dominus.

Three of the pupils immediately rush in. One by one, the others begin their decent, except for Kade. She waits outside, then slowly begins to trace arcane sigils and wards over her vibrant purple robes. Fire, then cold, followed by acid, poison, and physical blows. One to filter the air she breathes. One to lessen loud sound. She continues until satisfied that almost every possibility was covered. Looking at her belt, Kade sees that she’s used almost alll of the orbs. Only a faint dim glow is left in one, the rest all dull. Praying to the gods that she had covered everything, Kade finally enters.

Her fellow apprentices nowhere to be found, Kade ventures into the caverns, deeper and deeper. At first, the caves are blank and empty, with no creatures but tiny dragons, looking more like winged salamanders than anything else. As she decends, the caves slowly become more vibrant, with beautiful glowing mosses, and strange plants. The wildlife becomes greater, the beasts now the size of dogs and even small horses. Hundreds of different species, each dangerous in their own way. Very few actually attempt to harm her, just the occasional fireball or bubble of acidic slobber when she got too close.

Then Kade entered the wrong cavern.

In the middle of this cavern, coated in beautiful crystals and gems, stands a Blood Drake,  a deep red and black beast the size of a hippo, incredibly territorial and dangerously strong.

It clearly felt no bond, and charges her on sight, knocking her towards the ceiling. The only thing that saves her are her many wards, although several shatter under the mighty blow. Grabbing a crack in the cave wall, Kade hides and considers what to do next. Stunning the beast would be near impossible under the best of circumstances, but putting it to sleep… maybe that would work. Quickly weaving the last of her Vis into a sleeping charm, she releases a burst of magic at the brute. It immediately collapses, unconscious. 

Carefully defending from her perch, Kade hears a whisper in her mind. Not much, just a little tickle, it says faintest muttering of her name. As Kade goes further into the depths, she hears it again, louder now. 

“Yes?” she tentatively says aloud.

“Ah, good. You can hear me.” The voice is deep and ancient, like stone grinding on stone, yet somehow distinctly feminine. “You have impressed me. Come to me.”

At those final words, Kade feels a strong mental tug, pulling her to the right. She follows her unseen guide, until she comes to a line painted on the floor, bright and vibrant red in color.

Kade stops. She says aloud “I cannot come further.”

A moment's pause. “Why?”

“I was told the deep caves were deadly.”

“They are. Only the weak dwell above. But, you are under my protection.”

Kade considers, weighing the risks. If this voice lies, she will die. A Blood Drake like what she had fought could kill many mages. If that’s what the voice considers weak, she was terrified to know what lurked deeper. But then again, very few dragons could talk without speaking. Only the greatest beasts of legend were capable of such an act. If she had impressed one of them...

In the end, Kade trusts the voice, and keeps going deeper. As she descends, following the mental pull, the caverns become larger. Brighter. The plants become more vibrant, the crystals glow stronger. The dragons become larger, and she sees species she knows nothing about. Larger and more monstrous than anything she had ever seen. But, none approach her. The almost regard her with fear, or respect.

Finally, the caverns open into a massively huge space. Stalagmites the size of buildings hang from the ceiling. Forests and plains of strange plants stretch before her, rivers run wild, fed by massive waterfall. She notices the twinkling of what might be a massive lake at the other end. A huge stone spire rests in the center. And dragons dominate it all. Huge and small, bright and dull, the teem everywhere.

“What do you think?”

“It’s gorgeous,” replies Kade.

“You are the first human to lay eyes on it in milenium.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Now come to my throne.”

With that, a massive electric blue wyvern the size of a stallion flies up.

“This is Omyt. He will provide you passage.”

The wyvern carefully picks Kade up, and begins carrying her towards the spire, which is clearly the center of activity. Hoards of dragons, tiny and huge, swarm about the tower.

Onyt carefully deposited Kade at the top of the spire. As she turns around, she nearly faints from fear. Before her is a massive, silver dragon. A true dragon. One single claw is as be as her, and it’s head is greater than the entirety of Dominus and Onyt put together.

“Calm yourself, small one. I would not have brought this far just to eat you.”

Kade swallows, then nods. 

“You have impressed me, small one. I can peer into your soul, and I have never seen such wisdom, coupled with raw magical talent and knowledge in one so young. Your enchantments are the work of masters, and your charms are the most effective I’ve seen in a thousand years. Ya’teme, the Blood Drake you encountered, was no weakling. Very few could have put him asleep with so little.”

Kade slowly looks up at the great creature.

“I am Arandara, queen of all dragons that reside in this part of the underground. I wish to bestow upon you a gift, then I want to ask of you a request.”

Kade blinked. She had impressed her?

“For my gift, I wish to bestow upon you my Dragon Brand. Do you accept?”

Kade gasped. Dragon brands were the stuff of legends.

“O-o-of c-c-course.” Kade stammers, as much from shock as from fear.

“Then so it shall be”

The beast lowers its might head, until it was level with Kade. Then, she gently breathes on her. A surge of energy rushed through her. A strange, cold burn shines on her head. When the sensation ends, she gazes into the dragon's silver scales, and sees a brilliant, shining mark upon her forehead. And intricately designed seal, there was no mistaking it. 

“You are now marked as mine. No dragon shall ever harm you, and you may always find refuge with my kind. You may now speak with them as I speak to you. Lastly, you now share the same connection to the aether that my kind has. You need no Familiar to perform your works.

“T-thank you” Kade mutters.

“As I said, you have impressed me. Now, for my request. Would you become my apprentice? You could learn much from my tutelage. While you’d have to bid farewell to any family on the surface, the magic I could teach would let you rival the gods.”

“I have no family.” whispers Kade, “Only my master.”

“Oh? Taken in by a wizard then?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. Do you wish to return to them?”

“No. I accept your request and swear myself as your apprentice.”

“Very well then. You shall be as my own until I have taught you all I can pass on. I believe this will be a fine apprenticeship.”

Kade smiles.

“Yes. I think it will.”