#everything even sorrow
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Model references for Apprentice Mage's Dress / Everything, Even Sorrow (Nene Kusanagi) - Project Sekai: Colorful Stage!
#art references#art reference#model references#project sekai colorful stage#hatsune miku colorful stage#prsk#pjsk#project sekai#edit#Apprentice Mage's Dress#everything even sorrow#Our Happy Ending#Never-Ending Showtime#nene kusanagi#wxs#dragaliaarchiveprsk
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Kevin watching Jean ask Jeremy if he's okay, watching Jean offer to hold Laila's bag so she can fix her shoe, watching Jean hand Cat a granola bar before a game because she looked a little unsteady. He's not jealous, he had his time by Jean's side. Maybe it's grief. Grief for something that was never so innocent, never so untouched by cruel hands, something that could've been better if they were anyone else. Grief for something that's long passed and can never be fixed to be made better than before. He had his time at the receiving end of Jean's concerned glances. Maybe he's just a little sad that when he's at an away game, he no longer buys post cards for a friend. Maybe he just misses this person who used to always be by his side but they both knows it's better this way. Jean is happy, it's not with Kevin, and that's okay.
#god i need to stfu#but i just like the idea of a kevin who knows that jean is in a better place physically emotionally spiritually whatever#and he knows that it's a good thing and he loves seeing his friend like this#he's not jealous but maybe he thinks about how that could've been them in another life#just a little sorrowful at the thought that once they knew everything about each other and now they can hardly hold a conversation#bittersweet feelings over burnt bridges and bad blood#its no ones fault and they know this#Kevin just wants his friend to be happy#listen i think we as a community could explore this dynamic more#does this even make sense#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#tsc#jean moreau#kevin day
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Fangs of Fortune | Zhuo Yichen & Zhao Yuanzhou 𓆩 .˚⋆ Darkest Night ⋆˚. 𓆪
#🐦🔥🐒#let me to share my newest and greatest soup of clownery and conscious delusion#this is a project i've been working on for months now and i'm finally brave enough to call it finished and share it#when it come to fangs of fortune i've never felt this intensely about any drama in a way i really can't put into words#with all of its parallels and foreshadowings. hate that can turn into love. sarcifices and freedom to choose.#the only way i could express what i feel is this video and even though it ended up long as hell it still didn't fit everything#there is something truly inexplainable in the relationship between yichen and yuanzhou that fills my heart with love sorrow and dread#but with this silly little edit i mainly want to express that inexplainable love between these two idiots because it keeps me awake at nigh#i apologize for the heartache and tears this might give to any and all (myself included in more ways than one)#i don't accept refunds or therapy bills#(i'm really hesitant about sharing my edits but this is too valuable for me to keep in my basement and i really need to show it to someone)#(i published some of my other old ones as well since i'm feeling brave for the time being)#fangs of fortune#zhuo yichen#zhao yuanzhou#tian jiarui#hou minghao#da meng gui li#大梦归离#mf fof#my:video#cdrama#youtube#❗ALSO❗#i was just let know that today aka the day i finished this is a chinese dragon-heads raising festival symbolising the arrival of rain#i'm passing out i don't believe in coincidences anymore#二月二 龙抬头#enjoy! ���️
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Before the End
a redraw of this scene bc it wouldn’t leave me alone
#rvb#red vs blue#locus#rvb locus#sam ortez#samuel ortez#art#mine#comic#*23#i spent most of the time on the last face bc HOOOOOW am i supposed to convey the frustration + sorrow in his tone?#the heavy breaths? how tightly he tries to control his tone and keep it even and low? arggh bark bark bark#still dont know if i like the final one but i have like 5 different versions that are just slightly different lol#im obsessed with the first panel of the second one tho. HELLO? might make it my header#you know sometimes i worry i babygirlify him too much but i refuse to be the issue. he's everything.#mercs
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bioware really said "let's release it on halloween... it's so terrible... it's gonna scare the shit out of everyone...the perfect halloween"
#oh da2 zevran face scares the shit out of you? hold my bear... wait till you see how returning characters look like in da4#here get spooked by the most amateurish writing and childish dialogue and disappointing story conclusions and lack of choice import#veilguard critical#my post#my posts#holy shit I watched all the endings and I watched all the romances etc. ... damn the writing is bad#i am not surprised they hyped this up by showing the first 15 minutes because that seemed bad exposition dump but the rest is worse...#wtf were they thinking the story should be the selling point of these games and the role play ... not the fucking action#your choices don't matter...certainly not in the past..and even in the present...all choices essentially lead to the same ending with solas#AND that fucking retcon in the end that everything was actually influenced by big evil bad WTF shut up... this game is not canon to me#wtf are the laser pew-pew shooting sounds by the way lmao during the finale#and wtf do you mean we couldn't import the well of sorrows choice but it still comes up and essentially it's 1 of the 2 options canonised#halloween#2024#october 31#31st of october#current events#da mine#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age 4#da4#da critical
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hello chat i am going to be a hater in tags for a moment (jst finished natlan act IV)
#snobrambles#wow /neg#i heard the story was bad but WOWWW#hoyo you are lost potential the company#you took the topic of war and had so many different routes and perspectives to look into and you went with power of friendship#I KNEW IT WAS POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BC I HEARD MOOTS TALK ABOUT IT BUT I DIDNT THINK ITD BE SO ABRUPT?#im not even mad im just mildly annoyed#there were parts i liked like where youd see differences depending on what you decide to do#like chosing to save one or the other and seeing the consequences#i thought that was neat#other thing i liked was diff chars talking about how witnessing all this scarred them but. i wish they fed into that more#and actually SHOWED that feeling rather than just going “wow! so im traumatized now”#and dude you couldve done more with the ancient names and mauvikas past.#like you couldve at least made it so that the six heros reminded her of the people she knew#give us a bit of sorrow instead of her walking around imagining her old friends and smiling bc tbh that made me feel nothing#and god the six heros thing did not feel well earned#its yae all over again in the sense that it felt like everything got solved way too easily#like wtf were all those losses for. it felt pointless#paimon getting emotional and us probably seperating in the next act was somewhat intriguing#i feel nothing for any of the chars except kinich but thats bc i find him funny#ugh. this story couldve been so much better#war itself is such an interesting topic in stories and it has so much potential and they absolutely fumbled and flunked it#also chuychus death was so abrupt and chasca crashing out made me laugh. sorry. ik it was supposed to be sad but i felt nothing#she was holding back her inner alpha wolf THE GACHA ALLEGATIONS ARE NOT ENDING#i felt nothing most of the time#the only strong feeling i felt throughout the quest was annoyance (cough mainly bc of citlali cough)#dude even the fake sky part felt underwhelming#i dont like how they brought it up out of nowhere and then barely adressed it#“anomaly” ok. ig. so what was all that buildup abt the fake sky for. only to show it and then shove it under the rug#i have more thoughts but tumblrs going to eat my tags to tl;dr: (furina voice) BOOOOOORING
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W.BG - ep.84
August is the yearning final boss
#he wants him so bad#the way he calls him big bear ouuugghhhhhh im gonna explode and at least 50 people will be injured by collateral damage#i’m gonna be honest i listened to August’s song like 10 times and cried#i dont even know what to say about what heplened in this episode…#so ty is dead? mike got injured and consolidated with a mikey? which mikey did he consolidate with? whats gonna happen with edgar?#im a little confused on everything that happened so i might relisten to the ep again…#WHY CANT THE MIKEYS JUST BE HAPPY WITH THEIR EDGAR AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHGHHGGGGGGGGHHH#he was making sugar cookies for a movie night with edgar AND THEY HAVE A CAT NAMED DELILAH#THE PODCAST OF SORROW AND TORMENT#w.bg
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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every 2 months I'm nostalgic all over again of my memories and every 4 months I cringe over my past self
I feel like a caterpillar that's continuously making a cocoon and going into it, but every time i come back out of it I'm still the same old caterpillar
#its funny because its true#idk#what even is this#nostalgic#sorrow#meloncholic#it's almost summer again#everything is so fast these days#i feel so lonely#btw#happy pride#lol ok#solitaire#random
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me after taking 25 whole minutes to write out a two-sentence comment under a fic: I dunno maybe it sounds weird and I shouldn’t comment after all….
#“How to sound like a normal human when speaking”#Results inconclusive#fanfic#ao3 comments#will sit there writing out and then deleting all of the things I liked abt the fic until i can’t even remember what I read anymore 😭#IS THIS NORMAL OR DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEN TO ME HELP#I need to tell them everything I liked but I liked the whole thing and I can’t just copy and paste the fic into the comment section can i#“Wow loved this part” followed by the entire fic in quotation marks#yeah i proofread my own comments obsessively to make sure they don’t sound passive-aggressive hbu#sometimes writing a comment on ao3 is harder than writing an entire story#sometimes#writing in itself is a struggle actually why do it do it#“I love writing” (shaking with rage and incurable sorrow)#anyway this is a joke laugh now
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You ever, like, look at your hand or other body part, the veins under your skin or the movement of your fingers and just, be awestruck about the chain of events that led to your being created, evolving into such an intensely complex body. All the muscles being used to move my hand, all the neurons firing off, a lot of it without my conscious thought, the fine motor control that these limbs can have. And then all the social meanings behind it. The hands of my grandma making dinner, the hands my mom braiding my hair, the arms of my dad holding me when I left home for the first time, and how these patterns were replicated in some form, long before we were even human. Our bodies and their histories and their meanings are such intricate, beautiful things
#sword speaks#it's something I find deeply sacred#like even if you don't believe in anything else spiritually THAT at least is something holy if anything is#ourselves and our connection to others all the way back to the first life on this planet#and the great love and sorrow and passion we all feel as humans#Idk it just makes me to thankful to be alive to witness it despite everything#(in case you couldn't tell yes this is a big part of why I went into the social sciences)
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thinking about aemond killing luke on purpose and alicent and otto being livid and aegon throwing him a feast and siding with his brother publicly even though it is effectively ending the tense cold war sort of stage to outright open military conflict
and thinking about how helaena fits in this. she's not ignorant of what this means, and she definitely doesn't see it as something to be celebrated. maybe death couldn't be avoided, but celebrating it with a feast is distasteful in her opinion, and it'd certainly be seen as offensive, as well as deliberate provocation. if aemond's actions started it, aegon's ensure there's no way back.
at the same time i think she understands both why aemond would do it and why aegon would make a grand gesture to support him, and she wouldn't fault either. her loyalty to her family is unbreakable (one of her greatest flaws; she's more than willing to overlook any wrongdoing by their hands), and when her family is split on their stance, she leans towards her brothers more so than her mother. and if otto is on one side more often than not she'd rather be on the opposite side ngl
all of this to say that whether aemond regrets it or not doesn't make a difference, because she'll stand with him even if there's blood on his hands. and that even if aegon's celebration is distasteful, it is a display of loyalty too, and uncomfortable as she personally may be, none of it would be voiced or manifested, and she would stand with him too.
the idea they can only rely on each other might be a little too ingrained in all of them (especially after the night aemond lost his eye), and i think it certainly plays a part to some extent. there is no one else. they stand for each other no matter what or no one will. but i think there's a willing joining of hands too. she accepts and wants them as they are, even when that means flawed and violent and uncaring.
she may not raise her voice to condone what they do, but she won't shun them either - and any grievances that need be spoken (because i don't mean she isn't critical; only that ultimately she stands with them even when she disagrees) would be discussed in private. helaena might be snappy or passive-aggressive at times, but when it comes to serious matters like this, there would only be unity in the public eye. i'm sure aegon heard criticism for his feast, but she nevertheless attended and did her best to present herself as she ought to.
#aemond could go home and go to her and be like 'i messed up' and tell her messing up was killing their nephew on purpose#and helaena would still hold his hand and say they'll face whatever comes their way together#(no 'it's not your fault'. it is. they both know that. it just doesn't matter)#aegon can throw a stupid feast so everyone knows he supports his brother and helaena will tell him it's distasteful and stupid#but she'll also appreciate the intent. rip to luke but aegon is doing it for aemond and honestly to her that matters more 😔✊#she'll go and sit beside her husband and make sure not a person in that room would ever think she criticized anything at all#she feels for rhaenyra i think. none of it is enjoyable to her. and she knows rhaenyra will rightfully face it with sorrow and anger#and foolish as it is helaena would've still expected it didn't need to come to that and a diplomatic solution could be found before that#and of course this changes everything. not only because of what happened but /especially/ because of what followed#but however much she may feel for rhaenyra helaena is with aegon and aemond first and foremost#complicated and messy as they may be at times she will always be with them#she loves them both. even if it means getting blood on her hands by holding theirs#* character study: { innocence died screaming }#* out of character: { dreamfyre stan }
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tidying up is very difficult...i'm worried that i'm going to become a hoarder-type individual one day. i used to go through phases as a tween where i'd throw out everything i'dever done and scorched-earth all of it due to embarrassment and it's hard for me to remember things all that well without the physical thing and i remember very little about how i was as a kid now, besides "awful". but i also desperately want to get rid of things. there are so many useless things i'm holding onto for sentimentality's sake. yearbooks without signatures, kind notes i was always too afraid to read, cards from family members i never responded to, a LOT of little art projects family made for me to show i was loved that i never looked at because i didn't believe the love in it and it hurt to look at them but its so much EFFORT made for ME and i SHOULD appreciate it
its like...i dont know. there's all this proof i've collected of a life that could've been if i'd ever actually taken the opportunities offered to me but i didn't so its like. WHY DO I HAVE THESE i've gotta let go of the life i didn't live and build a new one instead of boohooing about my regrets and the years i lost to insecurity and agoraphobia and depression any time i try to get rid of stuff. "what if i forget one day i don't want to forget" YOU DIDN'T LIVE THESE LIVES there's nothing to remember! silly behavior!
#in the words of ran from the only thing i talk about anymore TFTBN: youre so sentimental it borders on a health issue!!!#im a very sentimental person and it has not led to anything but sorrow because i did not make many happy memories#just 'damn i really missed out' ones. i dont want to toss everything but there is so much that i look at#and without the fog of 'i dont want to forget i dont want to forget i dont want to forget' im just like god DAMN i do NOT want this!!!!!!#and this is just sentimental objects im trying to go through things like clothes and cds and books too#and any time i dont want anything i get hung up on 'i should donate this/sell this/give this away so its not wasteful'#which is another task on top of the already draining work of letting go of shit and it IS the Right Thing To Do but its so intimidating#that i end up giving up and letting the mess just sit there. I DONT WANT THESE THINGS!!!! WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!#honestly might make Poasts about things im trying to get out of here and if anyone wants them i can just send them to you#maybe. if i get around to that. adding a new task. of. Postal Service#I SHOULD THOUGH FUCK this is all so stressful i wanted to spend my day off relaxing and i cant even do that
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🩻
#maybe it’s just The Cycle that has me weeping over everything today#and I can’t even drown my sorrows in ice cream because I’m on a diet#elly's posts
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it’s new year’s eve, and i’m spending it in taking care of my grandmother—she keeps forgetting where she is and who i am, but staying home to take care of her and give her reminders is reassuring not just for herself, but for myself as well
our language barriers and memory problems have us struggle to communicate, but there’s something about how regardless, being a family staying together is wordless and timeless—it’s new year’s eve, and it’s both happy and heartbreaking to spend the present with her while knowing how the future will end
#happy holidays…! things from the car crash and ‘return to normalcy’ being my ba ngoai’s caretaker are humbling reminders#of our mortality and what we have lost/will lose but more importantly what to cherish and acknowledge esp in the present#i love people! i lost people! i will keep on losing people! even though i can’t love myself i can keep on loving others!!#i’m… very bittersweet about everything feeling both happiness and sorrow#esp w the ever present feeling of just Existing but not Living
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saw a video of some guy's commute home from work, capturing summer in copenhagen, and it was strangely emotional for me
#i want out of here#having severe me/cfs feels like being a kidnap victim#also it might seem obvious that im v aware of life happening elsewhere but its such a blurry concept to me#that seeing the extraordinary mundane beauty in specifics feels like an eye-opener or a reality check#in a way thats both sorrowful and hopeful#i need to periodically remind myself that everything everywhere exists. even if i cant see it. even if not for me#there's a comfort and joy in knowing that what i know isn't all there is
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