#everyone love my ghost saint earrings :)

[valtsv]

shout out to whoever first realised that wearing bats and skeletons and demons and ghosts on your clothing was dope as hell and sick as fuck. i'd say i hope they got so much head but i cannot imagine a world where they didn't.

[thecapricunt1616]

Promptober Day 7 👻

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛 (𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭): 6 weeks. It had been 6 weeks since Carmy had left you without a word. You had felt it coming, though. He had become more flighty, stopped answering your texts- stopped coming over at random hours of the night after he’d gotten off work. You had been completely and utterly ghosted.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: WEEEEEEEE!!!! Welcome to day SEVEN of promptober! A whole week done already! Again, thank you so much for the love that everyone has been showing on the prompts for kink&promptober up to now! As always,  you can view my schedule & masterlist for this celebration right 🦇here🦇! You can also view the same for my 2024 Kinktober celebration right 🎃here🎃! & If you'd like to be added to the taglist for either celebration, comment on the according masterlist & I will add you! PS - Can you guess what song this blurb is based off of? Hehe 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 750+ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Sad Carmy, Swearing, No use of y/n 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬: @/����𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐤𝐚-𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐬

6 weeks. It had been 6 weeks since Carmy had left you without a word. You had felt it coming, though. He had become more flighty, stopped answering your texts- stopped coming over at random hours of the night after he’d gotten off work. You had been completely and utterly ghosted. 

All that though, for his location to still be on for you. When you were feeling extra depressed, or angry- you would go look at it. 9 times out of 10, it was at The Bear, or his Apartment. Tonight though was different, some bar a few blocks from your apartment ; The Black Dog. 

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. Another lie. You thought to yourself. Due to Donna’s problems- Carmy had sworn to you he never drinks anything other then beer now and again, and only 2 and max 3 if it’s his birthday. He also claimed to hate bars, so why was he there- when there are fucking flood warnings it was pouring out so hard no less. 

You put your phone down, crossing your arms and getting back into your current show you’d been hyperfixating on. A couple of hours later, just as your eyelids had started to feel heavy you heard a rattling at your window, causing you to jump and squeak in fear sitting up quickly. 

Your dog sits up quickly, pinning his ears back and growling as you got up and heard a slurred “‘s me- f-fuckin freezin’ out ‘ere” before more tapping and you rushed over to the window to see Carmy there soaked like a wet cat with a tipped pink nose and bright wind nipped cheeks. You open up the window at record speed, helping him in 

“What in the fuck are you doing here?!” You scolded, grabbing his shaking ice like fingers and bringing them to your lips, blowing your warm breath over them. You could literally hear his teeth chatter. 

“Uh- sh-shit um. I c-couldn’t drive m’sloshed n’the L is closed cause the rain n’m too far from home to walk and I was thinkin’bout you” he manages to get out between quick panting, shivering breaths. You shook your head, dragging him to the bathroom and plugging the tub to start him a hot bath. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Carmen? I don’t even know where to start” you said and he sighed, closing his eyes and he swayed a bit where he stood, grabbing onto the towel rack to steady himself. 

“Uhhhh-“ he hiccups “actually ‘er like why did I do what I did?” He asked stupidly, drunkenly as you pour in epsom salt for his likely to be sore muscles tomorrow after running (and likely tripping and falling due to the tear in his knee of his jeans) in the pouring rain. 

“Why the fuck we’re you drinking?” You asked, “arms up” you ordered and he held his arms over his head as you tug off his white shirt that was stuck to his body 

“Cause Mikey killed ‘emself 2 years ago” he hiccuped again “and I was thinkin’bout him and then I thought about if he knew you and uh….” He trailed off watching as you delicately removed his Saint Anthony chain from around his neck, placing it on the counter. 

“And what?” You asked, undoing the button on his jeans and he started to chuckle, shaking his head 

“What was I saying?” He asked “your hands went around my neck  and then near my dick and I just… poof all my thoughts are gone” he said, giggling drunkenly which caused you to laugh at just how adorable he sounded, smiling and speaking about his thoughts so openly was a side you’d never seen of him before. 

“I think it’s time for you to take a bath, because you’re gonna get hypothermia. I’m not touching you tonight, Carmy. Not like that” you told him and he pouted a bit as you tugged his wet jeans down his hips and helped him step out of them so he wouldn’t fall on his face and he huffed. 

“I deserve it. I’m kinda surprised that you opened the window- you’re too good to me” he slurred as you helped him get lowered into the bath and he sighed in relief as the warm water covered his skin, sinking down up to his shoulders and closing his eyes. You gently brushed the wet hair from his eyes, strings of it sticking to his forehead that you carefully slicked back with your nails

“I know, but I missed you too much to ignore you”

Fin

Tag List: @carmenberzattosgf - @daysofyellowroses - @mouseymilkovich - @gallaghersgal - @maggiesarchives - @carmybrainworms - @l4long-winded - @babyspiderling - @southsideserendipity - @djlnkaled

[nrdmssgs]

HC for Nikolai, pls!! Love it how you describe him! ☀️

Masterlist

First of all, thank you so much since I wasn't sure, anyone would find my interpretation of this character pleasing in any way, because he is... not the nicest guy out there in some situations. I never wanted him to be a saint and I'm happy, we are together in this boat with you)

Second, please next time let me know if you need only sfw or also nsfw versions, because when it comes to CoD, especially to this man - I need to be restrained, otherwise things might happen... I'll try my best to behave this time.

TW: a bit of swearing.

So our guy is a fixer. No, wait, he is The Fixer. Nikolai comes from the culture and time, where everyone saw each other as a vital source of information, services or goods, that one day may help or even save them. That's why Nik always knows a guy, who knows a guy - it's just his nature.

What's in there for you? Let's say, you were deployed for a longer time, you've initially planned, and you are out of some medication, you normally buy in your home country. It's not a matter of life and death, but you would feel nicer, if you had it. But here is the problem: in this part of the globe, no one ever heard of such a medication. Of course you can always go to Price or even Ghost for help, and they will go above and beyond to get you what you need by the very next day. But if you need it in the next few hours? Yep, Nik is your man. He can get anything, anywhere, anytime.

That be said, his most significant weapon is not his body or friendship with Price, not his heli, not even Chimera - it's his tongue. He may never read a single book on psychology, but he feels, what and when to say to push all the buttons, he needs.

Believe me, you want to be on his side, when he starts talking, because he can be cold, manipulative and ruthless in negotiations with his enemies.

Nikolai tries to guard you from this side of him (no matter if you are just his squad mate or love of his life), but it's not always that easy. And if it happens so that his words hurt you in any way - he will feel disgusting. Guilt will torment him for a very long time, because Nik will be sure that no apology is enough.

Ok, before this gets too dark, let's talk about the other side of this skill of his. He loves to fluster you. It amuses him, how just a few words and an occasional touch can paint your pretty face red.

Can and will flirt with you just to see, where your borders are. Will start it in private, only to allow himself comments on the verge of flirting when the rest are around. He can't help it: panic, that he awakes in your eyes is too cute and endearing.

Of course, he will stop it right away, if he sees, you are really uncomfortable with such interactions. Nikolai wants to be a friend, not a terror.

But if you actually answer back? Buckle up, because Nikolai is not the one to back away easily. His commentaries will become more explicit to the point, where he leans over your ear for just a couple of seconds, but you are suffocated by the heat that hit your head for the next hour.

Don't even try to make him blush and lose his concentration in return. Or try, but be ready to fail. Your fingers tucked under his shirt, wide grin accompanying some frivolous joke leaving your lips, all for the sake of making him flustered? Won't work. All you are going to get is a smirk and a sly squint. "Go on, show your pilot, what you have on your mind."

Nik will notice and remember every reaction on his words and actions. Btw, let's hope you don't have a thing for accents, because he may play it cool, be he definitely will remember, how you hold your breath for a short moment every time you hear his voice right above your ear.

Your personal space is a relative concept to Nikolai. He respects it, but keeps changing his opinion on how wide it is, sorry.

One of the best, most loyal friends, you could ever wish for. Always on your side, even if you are wrong.

If anyone hurts his friends and loved ones - Nikolai doesn't give a flying f*ck about laws or moralities. If anything endangers you - it is to be dealt with, even eliminated. If anyone takes you from him?.. Well, they better have a d*mn army ready.

Because Nikolai not only pulls his many strings and has the support of war heroes like Price - Nik may come after his enemies with the Chimera. And this is where things might really get sinister, since... Not all Chimera mercs are famous for their compassion and law-obidience.

Putting it in a very light wording: those who manage to survive an encounter with this organization will soon envy those who did not see their next dawn. And Nik won't hold himself or his men back until you are safe in his hands again.

I don't want to end on a sad note, so here are random fluff hcs.

Of course Nikolai can take 'no' as an answer, but if you are that 'unsure, need a bit convincing' type, he'll gladly proceed. You will be surrounded by his attention and small manifestations of care.

Expect to be constantly wrapped in his jacket if you accidentally mention that you're freezing in a helicopter.

Little presents, knick-knacks from all over the world. But there is a story behind every single one. A story, he whispers to you, after he dragged you to a far table, away from prying eyes.

Light touches. Not suggestive ones, but comforting. Because despite his jokes and flirting, he offers not only his body - most of all, he wants to share his warmth with you.

He loves to make you laugh and will develop inner jokes with you.

If you feel, you are slowly but surely falling for him - make sure to not tell anything to Price, because those two have no secrets between them.

Nikolai will cook for you every time you visit him. Not because his food is something worth of a Michelin restaurant, it's just an old habit: guests must be fed. Don't forget, he comes from a place, where people often had to cook a full 2-3 course lunch from a scrap, so feeding you is not a challenge for this guy, even if you show up at his door at 3 am.

Nikolai will invite you for walks in the forest. In summer and spring, you can agree without worries. In autumn and winter, it is better to be careful. Early autumn is the mushroom picking season (then your walk can drag on for hours). Winter... Do you feel safe in a forest covered with snow with a big Russian guy? Do you? Well, I have 2 words for you: snowball fights.

Don't blame me for not warning you, when you end up with snow in every single piece of your clothes and Nik hovering over you, not letting you rise from a snow pile. Of course, he'll help you get dry, warm and cozy afterward.

[lizardtheartist]

So I came up with a concept of my own multiverse night at the inventory thing, featuring ghost max….

We have 10 players in total: Sam, Demon Sam, Swap Sam, Samantha, Werewolf Sam, Max, Saint Max, Swap Max, Maxine, and our beloved Ghost Max.

The Sams and the Maxs both play at their own tables, talking to their own groups, like that extremely awesome Ao3 Fic, credit to the writer for coming up with that idea/srs.

Info about these certain multiverse sams and maxs:

Sam: just your average canon Sam, he’s been through all the stuff that happened in the games/cartoon/comics, he’s the Sam ever. Just this time, with a dead Max and an alive Max companions.

Demon Sam: After becoming the new ruler of the underworld, he’s decided to take it easy in life, or unlife? He doesn’t have as many Satan-y responsibilities as he thought he would, so he just hangs out with his very adorable angel husband. He has a more stern demeanor but he means well, I think? Him and Saint Max are called the Freelance Holy Ones. (Despite how unholy the two can really be)

Swap Sam: Sam but instead of being a more levelheaded detective, he’s almost just like normal Max in every way possible, yes, even height wise. Swap Sam is everything you could ever want in a rabid dog, he even probably has rabies. He loves to run around and cause trouble, he gets mistaken for a puppy sometimes due to his height and chubby physique. Him and Swap Max are still called the Freelance Police.

Samantha: Samantha (Sam for short but that gets confusing fast.) is literally just Sam but he’s wearing more feminine clothes. Honestly you could look at em and just assume it’s Sam in his drag persona. Samantha acts a bit more feminine than Sam as well, but not too much to make it obnoxious. I like to think she has a very nice and smooth middle age woman voice? I’m not sure how to explain it. Her and Maxine are still the Freelance Police as expected.

Werewolf Sam: This Sam has been a werewolf ever since he was little, inherited from his parents, he had the ability to transform into a werewolf during a classic full moon, but recently, as he’s gotten older, the werewolf part has since become more prominent and now he’s more werewolf than normal dog. He doesn’t entirely mind this, even though he has violent tendencies more often, he’s still a very wholesome and sweet guy, Max calls him his big ol’ dangerous teddy bear. Max is his werewolf caretaker, after formerly being a werewolf hunter, he decided to give up the job in order to support his Sam.

Max: Everyone’s favorite little lagomorph, he’s the same ol’ max from the ending of 305. We all know him, we all love him.

Saint Max: Saint Max is everything holy and good in the world, which is what he likes to think he is. Saint Max often acts nice and chipper, always seeing the best of EVERYTHING ever but underneath that thinly veiled self, there’s a thirsty little bastard gremlin who can be a brat sometimes. People think that some of Demon Sam had rubbed off on Saint Max, but no, that’s how he’s always been.

Swap Max: Swap Max is basically just Max but with Sam’s personality, but I made this personality slightly more edgy like Noir Sam. Why? Cus I thought it’d be interesting. Swap Max is still a rabbity thing, but he’s much taller now, he’s also bulked up slightly but not much. He still has a comedic side like Sam but it comes out a little less, but one thing I do know, is that he uses long winded words and sentences just like any normal Sam would.

Maxine: Maxine is EXACTLY like Max, in almost every way, she’s just Max with a bow around her neck and some yass queen earrings. Her voice is slightly raspier and her mannerisms have a touch of feminine traits, but she’s still just Max in a cute lil bow.

Ghost Max: Ghost Max is just Max before 305, coming back down from space, he hangs out with Sam and Max as their “ghost buddy” because they still haven’t gotten it through their thick skulls that the ghost is just Max. Ghost Max can play with both the Sams and the Maxs, because no one actually sees him, they just see floating cards that he’s holding. He’s equipped with a red marker, he can write simple words and drawings on a notepad or something. It’s supposed to look like blood but he didn’t have any spare blood on hand. Ghost Max has the ability to cheat and switch cards around. If this poker night game was a real thing, the player would probably be Ghost Max himself.

A quick look at the cast themselves:

(All credit for the multiverse poker idea goes to SofiaTheRandomDemon on Ao3, if you see this Sofia, your shit is written so well on GOD) (also credit to @impostorwhipplesshow for the insane idea of ghost max joining in on the poker stuff)

[real-raincode-takes]

how is everyone this evening? I hope the Halloween season is treating everyone well

this time of year, naturally, I associate with my beloved. of course, I associate every day with her, because she occupies my thoughts constantly. but the celebration of spirits, ghouls, the day of the dead, the day of the saints, and all hallows eve make me think of her in a particularly fond and sentimental way

of course, I know she detests scary stories. am I despicable for wanting to show her some anyway? I would hold her tenderly all the while, and I’d provide her the upmost comfort… but I will admit, having my beloved tremble and scream in my arms sounds quite enjoyable—only because there would be no real danger posed to her, of course. I would simply love to be there to comfort her, for as long as she’ll have me.

then, obviously, is the question of Halloween costumes. I can imagine easily (or, with great hardness, rather) her in some lingerie and lazy animal ears. though I imagine she cares for the holiday enough to put a bit more effort in. either through a elaborate coordinate, or a highly specific costume. though, it would probably still be quite revealing. it’s no secret how much I desire to see her in a bunny suit. a reverse bunny suit could be equally tempting, though, too much of her perfect skin exposed at once might make me simply faint. if she’d like to match couple costumes, I’d do so gladly. I’d be any scantily clad skeleton or rotting cadaver that she likes.

I imagine, as much as she detests horror and ghosts, she would adore candy. my beautiful death goddess has quite the tricks up her sleeve. I’d love to fall victim to one of her pranks, if it will please her. and if I may indulge in even the smallest of her treats, I shall die happily. I would traverse any neighborhood in search of candy for her. I would hit every after Halloween sale for her, too. I would feed her as if I was a servant and she my liege. I would do anything for her. oh, how I love her. everything I see this time of year does remind me of her. my beloved. my perfect death goddess. my shinigami.

I love you, my dearest. please, if you find the time or interest, send nudes.

-🍃

.

[ticklishraspberries]

An Accident (Alina/Genya)

Summary: Alina and Genya are more than friends. It leads to late night talks and ticklish discoveries. (For Day #2, "Accidental" of Tickletober!! Very small warning for mentions of hickies. Like, just their presence, not the process of giving them. Still, thought I'd mention it.)

Genya’s touch is gentle, barely there as her fingertips ghost Alina’s skin, attempting to tailor away the purple mark that had been kissed onto her collarbone just a few hours before.

“At least I can always erase the marks I leave,” she jokes.

Alina chuckles, shaking her head fondly. “It’s a very useful talent.”

It still fascinates her to watch other Grisha work, to try and pick up on their methods, their skills. Alina is still learning to use her powers, at a much slower rate than she’d like, but Genya is a master of her craft. Of course, Genya had been forced to learn at an unforgiving pace. She had been taken from her family at a young age and made into a servant, rather than being able to explore her gift freely.

Alina knows she wouldn’t trade the childhood she had away from the Little Palace, even for the greatest power imaginable. So, she doesn’t speak her envy aloud, afraid to bring up bad memories for Genya, the girl who had made her feel so welcome when she’d arrived, who protected her from those with cruel intentions. Who fixed her hair and kissed her skin and shared her knowledge with no expectation in return.

Her eyes are focused on Genya’s hands, pale and dainty, not a scar or blemish in sight. She’s watching closely, but it doesn’t prepare her for the sensation as Genya’s well-kept nails swipe across her neck, making her gasp and pull away.

Genya’s blue eyes widened in surprise. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” she asks.

Heat rises in Alina’s cheeks. “Not at all. It just tickled,” she explains. Normally, she would never admit a weakness so easily. Mal is the only person who knows that she’s ticklish, the only person to ever exploit it. But she trusts Genya, and realizes that it wouldn’t be the worst thing if Genya were to use the knowledge against her.

But Genya only smiles fondly, and tucks some of Alina’s dark hair behind her ear. “Cute,” she says. “I’d explore this further, but you have training to attend, and this bruise hasn't fully faded.”

“I’m sure it could pass for an injury,” Alina replies.

“Everyone here loves to gossip. Even if it were an injury, they’d still be placing bets on who gave it to you,” she says. With a few more fluid motions of her fingers, the hickey is gone.

“There we go. All better.”

Alina smiles. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Though, next time, perhaps I should do that somewhere out of sight, so you can keep it,” Genya practically whispers, grinning. “To remember me by, of course.”

Alina laughs, both flattered and embarrassed. “Perhaps you should,” she replies.

After a long day of training, Alina returns to her room, exhausted and defeated. Time and time again, she’s failed to use her powers unless The Darkling amplifies her. It’s disheartening, and at times, humiliating. While some revere her as a Saint, those who watch her work know she is nothing of the sort.

As she sits, restless in her quarters, she finds that her mind will not settle, and throws on a robe, in search of the one person who listens without judgment, the person who will kiss her worries away.

Genya’s expression softens the moment Alina enters, easily sensing her frustration. She beckons Alina into her arms and hugs her tightly.

“Bad day?” she asks.

“Terrible,” Alina replies. “Baghra is so disappointed in me. Everyone is.”

“I’m not disappointed in you at all,” Genya replies. “I think you’re brilliant.”

Alina scoffs. “Please, you have to say that. You’re my…” she trails off, unsure of what exactly they are. Friends, who sometimes sneak off to do the sorts of things that friends certainly don’t do?

Genya interrupts before she can settle on a word. “I don’t have to say anything. Power doesn’t come to fruition in a day. You’ve had a late start. You’ve spent so long suppressing it, denying it. It’s no wonder it struggles to come out, even now.”

She strokes Alina’s cheek. “Everyone here has struggled with their power. Nadia, me, even The Darkling himself. I believe you will be an incredibly talented, powerful Grisha one day. But for now, you just need practice.”

Alina leans into her touch happily, smiling beneath the praise. “How do you always know what to say?”

“I’ve got brains as well as beauty,” Genya replies easily, and they both laugh.

Alina feels lighter now. Like the weight of her day has been lifted, and she sighs, leaning into Genya’s arms and resting her head upon her shoulder. The comfortable silence is soon interrupted as Genya reaches up to run a single finger down the side of Alina’s neck, making her giggle and scrunch up.

“It wasn’t an accident this time,” the redhead teases, and Alina squeals as Genya finds each sensitive spot along her body, from neck to knee. The encouraging words mixed with familiar, playful affection leaves Alina’s day feeling like more of a success than a failure by the time she heads back to her room, flushed cheeks and a few new bruises, hidden beneath her clothes this time.

[085-helium]

My first Ghost fanfic!!

Swiss/Mountain

subby mountain and transmasc Swiss!!

definitely 18+

---

It was a long practice, unusually long. Copia was clearly stressed about the upcoming tour, obsessive about sounding perfect. Everyone was clearly tired by the end, an irritated glow flowing off most of the ghouls.

Swiss honestly didn’t mind a long practice. Sure, his throat felt a little sore, but he kind of liked these scheduled work times. Between playing guitar, singing, and stealing looks at his fellow ghouls, a long practice was fine by him.

The only other ghoul who didn’t seem annoyed, or wasn’t busy soothing a mildly steaming Dewdrop, was Mountain. His eyes were sharpened with determination and perseverance, hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and veins popping on his forearms and hands.

So no, Swiss did not mind a long practice at all.

He stayed behind the rest of the ghouls to help Mountain put his equipment away, as the bigger ghoul’s arms were clearly sore from hours of drumming. They walked back to the dorms together, chatting and standing a bit too close together to be practical in the narrow stairwells leading to their rooms. Swiss plopped himself down on the couch with Cirrus and Cumulus, Mountain following behind him. Cirrus and Cumulus had already curled up together, so Swiss opened his arms for Mountain to lean into him. Instead, Mountain put his head on Swiss’ lap, nuzzling into his thighs.

For a moment, it was purely wholesome. Swiss grinned and dug his fingers into Mountain’s hair, gently massaging.

Then, Mountain snuggled deeper into his lap, rubbing over his crotch a little too obviously to be accidental. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking unholy thoughts about the bigger ghoul for the past several hours, so immediately the grip he had on Mountain’s hair tightened.

Swiss leaned down to whisper close to Mountain’s ear. “You tired? Wouldn’t mind just hitting the hay now, you look exhausted.”

Mountain shook his head, nuzzling further into Swiss’ crotch. “Noo, just a bit stressed. Long practice.”

Swiss huffed and placed his other hand on Mountain’s side, rubbing into his muscles gently. Immediately the tension in his body melted. Unfortunately for Mountain, Swiss was not a saint, and seeing the bigger ghoul so helplessly reactive to his touch completely washed away all of the exhaustion from the practice.

“Well then, get up you big lump. Bedroom. Now.” He grinned and patted Mountain’s shoulder until he sat up, helped him up and then immediately started pulling him into his bedroom.

As soon as they closed the door Swiss was immediately herding Mountain over to the bed, pushing him down and feeling up his chest, straddling his waist. “So beautiful, Mounty… was watching you all practice long.”

Mountain groaned and pulled Swiss down to kiss him deeply. Swiss pulled apart after a couple seconds. “I wanna be in charge today, okay? Let me make you feel good.”

“Fuck, okay, anything you want,” Mountain panted, hands grasping at Swiss’ sides.

Swiss leaned down and kissed him again, deep and slow. When he pulled away there was a string of saliva connecting their lips together. “Gonna ride you, okay?”

Mountain hummed in agreement, tugging Swiss back down to kiss him again. From the way Mountain’s cheeks already held a rosey red pigment, his big eyes and quite answers, he clearly needed to let go.

Swiss broke apart, hands in his hair again, gently tugging the hairs at the back of his head near his neck. “You can let go for me, if you want, Mountain. Tell me you want to let go and be good for me, I can give it to you.” Mountain usually topped, due to his size and his strength, but there were times when all he wanted to do was be good. Swiss secretly loved those times the best, it was always so sweet to see the gentle giant desperate to be good.

He let out a low whine, nodding immediately with his big fawn eyes captured by Swiss’ gaze. He gazed up at Swiss, who cocked his head at him until he remembered that he was required to answer. “Please.”

Knowing it was hard for Mountain to lean into being vocally submissive at first, Swiss let that pass as an answer and leaned down to gently kiss him. “Arms tied up?” When he was met with a nod, he reached to his night stand and grabbed the ties he’d left on top. He quickly secured Mountain’s hands to the bars of the bed, not at all strong enough to keep Mountain if he struggled, but enough for the both of them to know that he wasn’t supposed to move his hands.

As soon as his hands were tied Mountain felt a wave of serenity surround him, a sense of calm that was soon disrupted as Swiss began to grind against the growing bulge in his pants. As relaxed as he felt his instincts were immediately heightened, and he was overwhelmed with the scent of the wetness between Swiss’ legs.

Swiss continued to grind up against his cock, deep groans forced out of him as he moved. His fingers reached up to begin unbuttoning Mountain’s shirt, hands immediately finding the muscles on his chest after he tore the shirt open. They both groaned as Swiss massaged his tits, Mountain quickly becoming a whining mess as he jerked to meet the movements of Swiss’ hips.

Swiss moved away to tug off Mountain’s pants, the loss of pressure forcing him to let out another long whine. He tore off his own shirt and pants before returning to Mountain’s body, eyes dancing over the bigger ghoul’s skin, shiny with sweat. “So beautiful.” His hand slowly slid down Mountain’s body to gently grasp at his cock. “So big.”

Mountain bucked into his hand, thankful for the stimulation, before the hand suddenly left and repositioned to hold his neck firmly. His eyes flicked up to Swiss, taking in his soft yet muscular form, his small tits positioned too far away from Mountain’s face.

Swiss knelt down and slowly began to kiss his neck, other hand sliding up to hold his chest again. As the kisses started to turn into sucking, biting, marking, the hand on his chest moved to fingers on his nipples, pinching and rubbing the sensitive buds, easing soft moans out of him. The other hand left his neck and slowly descended downwards until it closed on his cock again, firm enough to provide proper friction but not moving. Mountain thrusted helplessly into his hand, moans jerking out of him as Swiss left dark marks on his neck and moved down to his nipples.

Swiss sucked on his nipples with a strength and fervor that initially startled him. He twisted the nipple he had in his fingers and passionately nursed at the one in his mouth, sucking until pained little noises were falling out of Mountain’s mouth. He switched sides until both nipples took barely a touch of a finger to get Mountain whining and breathing in harsh little gasps. A spurt of pre slid down his tip, and Swiss groaned as it dripped onto his fingers.

He quickly moved down to his stomach and pressed more dark marks into his upper hips and stomach, before taking his hand off of Mountain’s cock and quickly throwing off his underwear.

Mountain whined at the loss, and lifted up his head just in time to see Swiss swallowing him down, hand covering his base where he didn’t fit in Swiss’ mouth. He whimpered and bucked into Swiss’ mouth, before Swiss grabbed his hips to hold him down.

Swiss groaned with pleasure at the feeling of Mountain deep inside his throat, the vibrations causing another spurt of pre to flow down his mouth. Swiss pulled off, not wanting the party to end so soon, and licked Mountain’s tip with tiny little kitten licks, eyes closed with a blissed out expression on his face all while Mountain whined and gasped, helplessly jerking his hips to try to place himself back into Swiss’ mouth.

Swiss pulled away slightly, looking up at him to whisper, “What do you want, Mounty?” before leaning back in to continue dragging his tongue across his tip.

“Please, need you, need to be inside of you, Swisssss…”

Swiss opens his eyes, dragging his tongue across the slit of his cock and leans up to look Mountain in the eye, a trail of saliva connecting his mouth to Mountain. “Wanna be inside me, Mounty? Wanna feel me around your cock? Tell me how bad you want it, baby.” He moved his hand back to Mountain’s throat, fingers gently working into the dark marks he’d left earlier, easing a soft groan out of Mountain.

His cock worked faster than his brain, another drip of pre sliding out of his tip. He whimpered at the soft touch on his neck, gasping as Swiss brought a hand back to gently grope at his chest. “Please, need it… wanna be good for you, please let me come in you…” he gasped again as the hand massaging his chest twisted his sore nipples, and the hand around his neck gripped harder for a second as Swiss groaned.

“You’re being so good, baby, so good for me. Gonna ride you, gonna fuck you, be nice and loud for me.” Swiss eagerly leapt onto Mountain’s waist, patience gone and quickly lined up Mountain’s cock to his wet pussy and sank down.

The groan Mountain let out was completely uncontrollable, pleasure drowning out every other thought in his brain, consumed by the wet heat and pulsing walls stretched around his cock. Swiss wasn’t a water ghoul but he still managed to be nearly as wet as Rain, dripping down his thighs and staining the sheets underneath them.

Swiss only managed to wait long enough for Mountain to return to his senses before he had to move, grinding down onto his cock and fucking himself deep and steady. Each time he bottomed out he let out a low moan, forcing Mountain’s cock deep inside of himself. He placed his hands back on Mountain’s chest, gripping slightly as his movements accelerated, beginning to lift himself further up and faster, sharp moans and gasps following every descent back down onto Mountain’s cock.

With his hands tied up, Mountain had little to do but jerk his cock up to meet Swiss’ hips and groan in pleasure, eyes captivated on the slight movement of Swiss’ small tits as he slammed down on him. Swiss followed his eyes groaned again, moving one of his hands to fondle his own chest, fingers expertly plucking at his nipples. Between the way Swiss clenched around him with each harsh tug on his nipples, and the sweet sight of Swiss making himself moan and gasp, Mountain lost every bit of awareness and patience he had left and began desperately fucking into Swiss, lost in the pleasure and mouth hanging open in a long series of gasps and moans.

Swiss doubled down on his own rhythm, hands moving to Mountain’s shoulders for better stability. “Being so good, Mounty, ahh, so full of you, fuuck!” Mountain’s eyes suddenly shut, his mouth agape in a long groan. “Come in me, fuck me full.”

With that command, Mountain’s entire body clenched and white hot pleasure seared his brain, fists clenched around the rope securing his hands and hips uncontrollably grinding into Swiss’ pussy. He heard Swiss’ punched out moans with each of his thrusts distantly, mind completely blank. When he came back to his senses, Swiss was untying the ropes around his hands, still seated on his cock, each clench and tremor sending sparks of oversensitivity through him.

As soon as his hands were untied, Mountain grabbed Swiss by the shoulders and flipped them over. Swiss yelped with surprise and dug his nails into Mountain’s back, punching out another groan from the bigger ghoul.

Before Swiss could open his mouth, Mountain’s hands found their way to his body, one gently fondling his chest while the other eased into the soaked folds between his legs. Swiss immediately relaxed into the touch, letting out soft whines with each stroke past his clit. He let Mountain continue for a minute before moving his hand to stop the touch on his cunt.

“I appreciate the gesture, Mounty, but this was supposed to just be for you. Wanted to give you some relief.” Swiss smiled with genuine affection shining through his eyes, quintessence gently reaching out to examine Mountain’s emotions.

“Wanna eat you out,” was Mountain’s grunted out answer, fingers resuming their gentle circles around Swiss’ clit. “Can I eat you out?”

Swiss inhaled sharply, hips rolling to meet his fingers. “Of course you can, baby.”

Mountains fingers lowered down to his entrance and slid inside of him easily, thumb still pressed against his clit. The three fingers inside of him massaged him open, pressing into his walls with practiced familiarity. A mixture of cum and Swiss’ own slick ran down Mountain’s hand, and he briefly slid his fingers out of Swiss’ cunt to bring them to his mouth. Swiss watched as he closed his eyes and sucked on his own fingers, moaning to himself at the taste, and had no choice but to grab him by his hair and bring him down to kiss him. The taste of his own pussy on Mountain’s tongue, the gentle and reverent way Mountain’s tongue slid against his own forced a whine out of his mouth. Mountain pulled away and immediately shuffled down the bed to wrap his arms around Swiss’ thighs, pulling Swiss down a bit and pressed deep kisses onto his thighs. He languished in the way Swiss’ breath became shallow, the slight whine present in every exhale, before fully submerging his face in Swiss’ pussy.

He slid his tongue around the wet folds, gently flicking his clit and exploring the depths of his cunt, lightly thrusting his tongue in and out, lips moving over his clit.

“Fuuck, what a good boy,” Swiss gasped out, trying to keep his hips from jerking into Mountain’s face. He slid his hands into Mountain’s sweaty hair, grabbing fistfuls and gently pulling. He was already very close, so it only took a couple more seconds of Mountain’s tongue sliding inside of him for his thighs to begin pressing together in between Mountain’s head.

Mountain groaned at the growing pressure with which Swiss gripped his hair. He knew how close Swiss was, so he grabbed his thighs tighter and pushed his face deeper in between his legs, lips closed around Swiss’ clit and tongue lapping at the sensitive bud. Swiss’ thighs immediately clenched around his head, breathing heavy and fast as he used Mountain’s hair to keep his face in his cunt. A long moan from Mountain was all Swiss needed before he felt himself tense around Mountain’s face, a long moan punctured by high whines as Mountain continued to work his tongue over Swiss clit, milking him through his orgasm.

Mountain kept sucking at his clit until Swiss pulled him away by his hair, pulling his body up until they were kissing again, Swiss moaning at the taste of himself again. Their arms wrapped around each other, touching skin together as much as possible. After a minute they separated, both breathing heavily, cradling eachother in their arms.

Once they regained their breath, Swiss smiled at Mountain, hand running through his hair. “Bit of a sweaty mess now. Shame. Guess we’ve got to take a bath together.”

Mountain huffed out a breath of laughter, swatting Swiss’ hands away. “Shame.” He rested his arm back on Swiss’ side. “Thanks, for that. I feel great. Needed some stress relief.”

Swiss grinned. “They say I’ve got a magic pussy. Best stress relief in town.”

Mountain rolled his eyes. “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Aether.”

“Oh of course, silly me.”

“Come on, dirt boy, I’m not getting a UTI tonight. Bath time!”

Mountain groaned but smiled. “You’re lucky I love you, Swiss.”

[detachedfacade]

Saint Valentine

summary: After bumping into each other on a particularly bad valentines day for Steve, he and Eddie find they keep missing each other, until Eddie finally learns to stay still.

You can also read it here on ao3.

For @conversationswithamillennial

Valentine’s Day 1997

Steve is going to get his ears pierced. He’s thinking about doing something drastic with his hair. In fact he’s even started itching for a tattoo. He is decidedly not having a post break-up breakdown thank you very much. He just wanted to do it. He always wanted to see how he’d look. The fact he just got out of a 6 year relationship was only somewhat part of it. In that Derek was never a fan of piercings or tattoos or alternative scenes. And god knows Steve has never been in a relationship that didn’t result in him changing parts of himself at the very least. Self loathing and becoming a ghost of his former self at its worst. But that wasn’t Derek. Derek was a good kind man - he never intended to be controlling it was just that Steve wasn’t self assured enough to be whatever version of himself was the real version. Robin blames Carl for that. The first boyfriend after Steve had figured himself out - the compulsory heterosexuality addressed and the big gay elephant in the room finally acknowledged. Carl must’ve seen it - the nervousness of a man only just coming into the world - the reality of insecurities and neurosis that comes with losing your family and recognising the monsters within.

He was far too easy to manipulate - far too easy to keep small and quiet. And Carl kept him small, because it suited him. He could flit in and out of Steve's life, make him feel special and important and loved and then strip it all away and leave Robin with the crumbling mess of tears and self hatred that Steve would become. Every time Carl came back Robin pleaded with Steve to see sense but he never could. Carl had a power over him. It was ugly.

But that had been over for years, and Robin had actually liked Derek, everyone could see they had a future together.

Until Valentine’s Day 1997, when Steve had proposed over breakfast and Derek had replied “I’m moving to Montreal. I’ve met someone.” The excessive business trips suddenly making sense.

So there Steve found himself, 6 hours later - afraid to go back to the apartment and find Derek packing or have to have some kind of conversation about custody of the cat or how they could still be friends - he went instead to a piercing shop. It was a small place in downtown San Fran that he had gone to a few times with Robin, to hold her hand while she pretended it didn’t hurt. Though his hand was almost broken by the time they would leave so he was pretty sure she was bluffing.

He arrived at the peircing shop knowing only that he wanted as many holes in his body as possible.

“Hey man can I get like 3 helix piercings and a conch and my left lobe and do you think you could do my eyebrow as well?” He stuttered out, the adrenaline that brought him there still pounding around his body.

“Are these your first piercings?” The guy replied, his face filled with ink and metal, his eyes filled with judgement and boredom.

“Yeah?” Steve replied, uncertain where his answer would lead him, concerned that his pent up energy was seeping through his feet and down out of the scratched up floorboards.

“Its probably best not to go all out first time in case your body doesn’t react well.” The guy said, leaning against the desk, inspecting Steve’s face, looking for something, Steve didn’t know what.

“Okay..” Steve sighed. “How about right helix and left lobe?”

“Yeah alright.” The guy nodded, slumping down in his chair and pulling a piece of paper out of his desk drawer. “Fill out this form.”

Hearing the voice of an old friend was always a strange thing to Steve, given that he had moved so far from his hometown. There was nothing in the world that made him want to stay in Hawkins, not after everything. So he and Robin fled to the opposite side of the country and didn’t look back. Neither had any kind of relationship with their parents - and their old friends had all moved on. The only time he had ever gone back there was for Dustin’s 21st birthday. It was the last time too, he had heard the voice of the old friend, who was currently calling his name, while he had a needle through his ear, trying to keep his eyes from watering.

“Steve Harrington ?!”

His eyes flitted open. Sure he hadn’t heard the man’s voice in person in years, but he heard his rough rasps crooning out from the radio a fair few times a day, after the success of his latest single. “Eddie?” He said. The piercer didn’t move, didn’t stop, just jammed another needle right through his cartlidge. An involuntary whine left his mouth. His face flushed red immediately, the feeling of the heat prickling against his skin making him all the more embarrassed. Eddie stayed leant against the doorframe. “I was wondering if you were still living in SF. Thought about giving you a call but…”

The piercer finished up and moved away, her eyes flitting quickly over to Eddie, she did a double take before hastily giving Steve the after care form and letting Steve go. “Yeah, never moved.” Steve said. “I’m basically still living with Robin too, I’m there enough.” He continued though he wasn’t entirely sure if Eddie even knew they had lived together in the first place.

The two boys walked out of the studio stopping just outside, awkwardly assessing whether they were both going to be walking the same way, instead they stayed where they were, leant against the graffiti'd brick wall, took out cigarettes to explain away the fact they were both eager to remain in each others presence for a moment longer than necessary. “So what brings you here?” Steve said.

“To the tattoo studio or to San Fran?”

“Well I guess both.”

“On tour - got a show here tonight. I’ve been wanting to get something done by this artist since forever - you know he tattooed James Hetfield - never really made it out to this side of the country though - every time he had a guest spot in NYC I would be out of town. Frustrating. Anyway finally I get here and figure its a weekday afternoon and I may as well check if they have walk in space.”

“Did they?”

Eddie pulls up his sleeve to show a fresh snake tattoo looping around his right forearm.

“Oh awesome.” Steve says doesn’t really know if they had intended to be having a full blown conversation. How long does one catch up with an old friend? - an old acquaintance really. The silence between them felt heavy, he shifted against the wall, his shoulder edging away from the wall, as if to begin to walk away, he stopped himself instead asked: “Did it hurt?”

Eddie shrugs cigarette between his lips. Then smiles at himself “Like a bitch. But don’t let that get out, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Quite the reputation too. I can’t get through a day without hearing you on the radio.” Feels weird saying it aloud, makes him feel like a stalker. Decides he needs to restore balance, adds a bitchy comment: “I’ve considered buying ear plugs.”

Eddie nudged him with his elbow, taking the jab lightly, thankfully. “Ouch.” He said. “Well you aren’t my target demographic anyway.” Eddie added. “Though with those new peircing’s maybe you could be.”

“I think I could be uh..” Steve searches for the word. “Punk?”

“Oh no Harrington, major faux pas. Metal and punk is not the same. If we didn’t share trauma and scars I’d have to deck you over that.”

Steve blinked at the threat, knew it was a joke, wondered why Eddie was so comfortable with him. Relative strangers at this point. He laughs a jolt of laughter into the air, smoke jumping from his throat with it.

“You think you’re tough now Munson?”

“Hm not really. But the murder allegations leaked to the press last year. It only increased our following. Metal heads love that shit.”

“I’m sure they do.” Steve said, wondering when the appropriate time was to cut the conversation short. Wondering why he would even want to do that when there was only awkward conversations and heartbreak waiting for him at home.

“You should come to the show tonight. I’ll get you in backstage.”

“Really? You’d do that.”

“Sure we are friends right?”

“I haven’t seen you in 7 years.”

“No pressure.” Eddie said. “ I didn’t mean to be…I don’t know I lost touch with a lot of people. I didn’t intend to.”

Steve nods - doesn’t say it, but the sentiment is clear - the regret of never reaching out.

“If you are free…” Eddie said. “This is the address.” He wrote the name of the venue on Steves hand. “Go to the back door and ask for Angie - she’ll let you in.”

“Um. Yeh. I’ll - thanks I’ll think about it.”

“7pm. By the way.” Eddie calls back as he walks toward the road, signalling for a taxi.

“Uh huh.” Steve nods, treading his cigarette butt into the ground.

-

Brandy mewed and purred trotting over to the door as Robin let Steve in, jumping immediately onto his shoulder to rub against his head.

“She hates me.” Robin said, closing the door behind him, making their way to the kitchen where Robin was making tea. “How are you doing?” She asked, she knew of course about the break up, she was the first person Steve had called that morning. It hadn’t even occurred to her Derek would say no, she had answered by saying “Was he surprised?” To which he replied.

“I was actually more surprised. He’s been cheating on me.”

“Oh shit.”

“Don’t let him pick up Brandy, I will not let her become an EXPAT.”

“What?”

“I’ll explain later.”

“It’s later.” Robin continued.

“Yeah well.” He sat down at the breakfast bar, taking the herbal tea she had made him.

“Chamomile.” She said. “I figured you’d need it.”

“Huh. Thanks.” He replied. “ Yeah, he’s moving to Canada with this other guy, I guess. He said he was intending to call it off after the first time. Gave me all these details about how he justified it to himself. How he couldn’t help it. That he’s only human. Well fuck that. You know who else is human? Me. Fucking me. And I didn’t cheat not ever, even when he was away for a month, you remember, I didn’t look elsewhere I used my hand and a couple magazines like everyone else but god fucking damn him he was fucking someone else the whole time. And now I have to get tested. He assured me he used condoms with this guy but how can I trust him.”

“Jesus Christ what a piece of work.”

“Tell me about it.” Steve said. “ I don’t know. Maybe it’s a good thing. I mean I haven’t been properly single since I came out. Maybe it’s time for me to figure myself out.”

Robin nodded. “That explains the piercings. Bit late for the teenage rebellion, don’t you think?”

“Or a bit early for a mid-life crisis?” Steve said helping himself to a satsuma from Robin’s fruit bowl. Brandy perked up in his lap as he peeled it. He batted her away as she tried to grab for a segment. “No you’ll die.” He sighed.

“I don’t know.” Robin teases, ignoring his conversation with his cat. “You did just turn thirty.”

“Hmm thanks for reminding me. Though I do hope to live past 60. My great grandma is nearing a hundred and still kicking.”

“So you say.”

“So I say, so my mother says, so my grandfather translates because we are all too lazy to learn Italian and she’s too stubborn to learn English.”

“Macché!” Robin said.

“Yeah… No clue babe.”

“Well they look good. By the way. The piercings.”

“Mm.” Steve hummed, as he swallowed the satsuma. “I forgot to say - guess who I saw in the piercing shop?”

“Uh…Carl?” Robin.

“Oh god no, Jesus can you imagine? No Eddie.”

“Munson?”

Steve nodded.

“Oh shit yeah he has a concert here tonight, right?” Robin asked.

“Yeah and he fucking invited me.”

“That’s so exciting!”.

“You don’t actually think I should go?” Steve asked.

“Of course you should go, its Eddie!”

“I haven’t spoken to him in years though isn’t it awkward? He was probably just being nice.”

“Eddie doesn’t know how to just be nice, he says what he thinks when he thinks it, you know that.”

“Why would I know that?”

“Steve. I know its been years but the connection we had with everyone back then, that doesn’t go away. Plus I know you have a crush on him. You never stop humming those songs of his”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I just got broken up with.”

“All the more reason. So did he.”

“Really? How do you know?”

“Because. I talk to him, on the phone, quite frequently.”

“I didn’t know we still talked to people from back home.”

“We don’t. But I do. The past couple years at least.”

“Well..”

“He asks about you.” Robin interjected.

“He does?”

“He does. Probably thinks we still live together. As far as he’s aware you’ve been in touch - by proxy. Go to his fucking concert. Talk to him. You need more friends, I can’t be your sole cat sitter when Derek’s in Canada.”

Steve rolled his eyes, took a sip of his tea and looked down at Brandy who was padding at his thigh.

“What would I even wear?”

Robin grinned at him.

-

Robin delighted in her creation, Steve standing in front of her bathroom mirror in one of her black tank tops applying her pencil eyeliner to his waterline.

“You better not have pink eye.” He said.

“Hey you're the one too pussy to go to your apartment and get your own stuff.”

“Broken up with. 8 hours ago.” Steve said.

Robin threw her hands up in surrender. “Yeah you’re right you’re right, you get a pass.”

“I get a hundred passes. At least.”

By the time Steve was ready to go he was, despite the rolling of Robin’s eyes, desperate for a cigarette.

“Make sure your whole head is out that window, dingus.” She said.

Steve nodded, before a hand was grabbing his arm as it moved to bring the lighter up to the cigarette in his mouth. “Not a chance.”

“Tina!” Steve said, dropping his hand, taking the unlit cigarette from him mouth. “Didn’t Robin tell you, I have a heartbreak pass?!”

“She did, but you don’t. These curtains were expensive and I don’t need them stinking of tobacco.”

“Fine.” He said. “I’ll just smoke outside while I wait for the taxi.” He pulled his shoes on, watching as Robin climbed onto Tina's lap and kissed her on the cheek. “You girls okay looking after Brandy for a bit longer?”

“Mhm.” Tina nodded. “She’s my baby.” She said as Brandy rubbed against her shins.

“She’s my enemy.” Robin added. “She knocked over the mug I made for Tina in that pottery class.”

“She was doing you a favor.” Steve laughed, winking at Tina. “All right I should go.” He said dodging out of the way of the cushion Robin threw at him. He stopped right before he reached the door.

“Hold on, is it cold out? Will I need a jacket?”

Tina rolled her eyes, chucking the leather jacket she had been wearing over at him.

“Don’t get anything gross on it.” She said.

“I just got broken up with.” He retorted.

“Yeah.” Tina sighed. “Exactly.”

-

Steve couldn’t help but feel important, walking past the queue of people lining the street outside, leaning over to the guard by the back door and with only a few words having the door opened for him, and being ushered inside.

But Angie didn’t tell him which door was Eddie’s or which direction he ought to go and the superiority he had felt at being allowed inside diminished into a small scared ball at the pit of his stomach wondering why he was even there in the first place. Luckily, Eddie was walking out of the bathroom as he passed the door. From the leather pants Steve could tell he was already in his stage outfit, but he had pulled on a bottle green sweatshirt over the top that looked uncannily like the Hawkins High apparel.

“Harrington you made it!” He pulled Steve into a hug. “You look lost.”

“Yeah…” Steve chuckled. “Uh yeah. I was I guess. I don’t really know what -“

Eddie looked bemused. “Come with me.” He turned heel and skipped to the end of the corridor, looking back to check Steve was tailing behind, before opening a door. It was plain white painted with a silver handle, the same as every other door in the corridor, bar the bathroom. Not even a sign or anyway to tell where it led. How was he ever supposed to find that?

“Welcome to my humble abode.” Eddie said, bowing as he swung the door open for Steve. God, had Eddie managed to get weirder? “Would you like a drink sir Harrington.” He spoke in a very bad British accent.

Steve chortled. “Sure thing Munson, you freak.”

“Oh hoho the bitch is back.” Eddie laughed as he poured himself and Steve a whisky. “This whisky costs more than your car.” He said.

“I actually don’t have a car.” Steve admitted, taking the glass Eddie offered. “So that’s not hard to beat.”

Eddie frowned. “Seriously? Wasn’t that your USP in high school? Harrington feels up girls in the back of his Beamer?”

“Ha okay, first of all, I didn’t feel them up, that sounds creepy. Secondly, that’s kind of the point, don’t need a car when you aren’t trying to impress girls anymore. Also kinda pointless, when you live a walkable distance from work and your friends and can borrow your boyfriends car when you have to.”

Eddie swallowed, nodding slowly. “So did he drive you here, this boyfriend?”

Steve sat down, huffed slightly, regretted everything he had said thus far that had bought him to the topic of Derek so quickly.

“No. No.” He said. “Got a taxi.” Not yet drunk enough to disclose why.

Eddie nodded, the silence settled between them, he knocked back the whisky. Steve did the same. “So…you nervous?” Steve asked.

“What?”

“Like, for the concert?”

“Oh.” Eddie laughed. “No no. Yeah a bit. I mean normal amount of oh shit don’t fuck up nerves but, I don’t know, just another day in the office these days.”

“Pretty crazy office.”

“Yeah it is.”

A warmth settled in Steve’s stomach with the whisky, he began to relax. “You speak to Dustin much these days?”

Eddie nodded “Yeah, yeah that kids going places man it’s crazy.”

“Say’s you.” Steve laughed.

A warm smile slid across Eddie’s face, a tinge of pink in his cheeks. “Yeah.” He took a sip of his drink. “So…sorry I should know - what do you do for work?”

"Oh um" Steve placed down his glass. “I work with foster kids - sort of mid-way between social worker and carer - I work with the social workers who obviously deal with more of the admin side and the legal stuff - I basically spend time with the kids and see how they are and make sure they’re settling into the care home or their foster home or see if they want to go back with their parents and if it's a good idea.”

“Still a babysitter then?” Eddie smiled.

“Yeah, still the goddamn babysitter,”

“That’s admirable though, sounds like something you’d be good at. You know I was in care for a bit so - would have been nice if someone like you was around. Back then I mean.”

“Yeah? Yeah I like it, feels good. And I help a lot of kids you know?”

“Your boyfriends a lucky man.” Eddie said.

“Is that so?” Steve laughed.

“Yeah jeez, I can’t seem to find a decent guy let alone one who cares about anyone other than himself.”

"Hmm." Steve hummed into his glass. “Robin said you went through a break up recently?”

“Oh she did? Yeah. I mean it was a month ago now but still fresh. I don’t know.” Eddie said, looking up at Steve. There was a look, that doe eyed sparkle in his eyes, the softness of his mouth, the way he never seemed to falter even when he was saying the most poignant things. Almost like it didn’t make a difference to him, words were just words. But they still poured out of him like honey. “Steve, to be honest I-“ They were interrupted by the door swinging open behind Eddie. A stage manager wearing all black and an oversized headset stood impatiently in the doorframe.

“You're on Eddie, let’s go.”

Eddie pulled off his sweater to reveal a long sleeve fishnet shirt and a leather studded vest on top. Steves eyes couldnt help but dance over his torso, at the plethora of new tattoos since he'd seen him last. Or since hed seen his torso at least.

"You're staring, Harrington." Eddie said.

"You look uh..good." Steve replied.

Eddie smiled. "Come on," he reached out his hand for Steve to take. " You can watch from the wings."

God, if Robin wasn't right about his crush on Eddie before, watching him on stage really solidified it. And it felt kind of wrong, because he was, despite himself, in love with Derek. And though he had managed to hold it back all day, perhaps it was because of the music or the thumping bass that vibrated through his body, Steve finally began to cry.

And maybe it was the emotions or maybe it was alcohol he had drank to subdue them, but as soon as Eddie got off stage Steve couldn’t stop himself asking:

"Do you want to fuck?"

Eddie huffed in shock, wiping a towel over his head from the sweat that had gathered there on stage, a grin curling across his lips. "Uh. You have a boyfriend."

Steve shook his head. "We broke up this morning." He stepped back, ran his hand through his hair. " Listen its a bad idea obviously, but you're hot and I want to fuck him out of my system. Plus whats the likelihood of seeing each other again?"

Eddie bit his lip thought for a second, the adrenaline from performing still coursing through his body. "Fuck sake Harrington. Of course I want to fuck you. Why else would I invite you here?"

"Great."

"But you have to host." Eddie said. " You may think getting a number 1 on the rock charts and selling out venues across the country is glamorous but I share a hotel room with my band."

"Right. Yeah I can host." Steve said. If he was more sober he might have worried about seeing Derek. As it goes he was inebriated enough to not give a shit.

-

Steve fumbled with the light switch as Eddie pushed him up against the wall, their mouths smashing together, Steve’s hands reaching into Eddie’s hair, eagerly gripping onto the man to pull him closer.

“Steve.” Derek was standing in the bedroom door frame.

Eddie untangled himself from Steve, leant against the wall beside him, eying the man in front of them.

“Why are you still here?" Steve spat, his voice aggressive, his mannerisms anything but. He seemed to fold into himself, keep his eyes on the ground.

“I was waiting for you to come home - I - I didn’t want to leave without talking to you properly.”

“I don’t want to talk to you Derek. I want to have sex with my friend and forget about you forever.”

“Steve.” Eddie said beside him, his voice soft. “I should leave.”

Steve looked over at Eddie, he wanted to say no don’t go, stay. But he also knew he too wanted to talk to Derek, if he was honest with himself. Because no matter the circumstances, losing someone you loved for 6 years isn’t easy, and goodbye’s are worth having, even if they’re hard.

“Yeah.” Steve sighed. “Keep in touch.”

Eddie nodded and headed out, only lingering by the door long enough to hear Derek say “Was that the singer Eddie Munson?”

-

It was only months before the next time Steve saw Eddie. Eddie had taken heed of the request Steve had made before he left and kept in touch. Not often, but they exchanged phonecalls every few weeks, normally through Robin who was good at keeping in touch with everyone and passed the phone over to Steve when he was at her apartment, which had increased in frequency since Derek’s departure.

“Eddie’s coming over.” Robin said, over coffee. “Tomorrow.”

“To yours?”

She nodded.

“Is he in town for a show?”

She shook her head, putting her coffee down. “He’s finished his tour he just wanted to visit.”

“Oh.” Steve said. “Nice. Nice, it will be good to see him.”

“Mhm.” Robin said, eyeing Steve over her coffee. “You gonna try and fuck him again?”

“Oh shut up.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Well if you do. Go to your own apartment.” Robin said.

-

Steve didn’t want to admit that he was expecting to pick up where they left off. Not to himself or to anyone. Because he didn’t want to seem desperate. It felt okay to just say ‘let’s fuck’ when you had had a rough day. But that kind of gall definitely didn’t live in him without the right kind of motivation. But it didn’t mean he didn’t prepare to be having sex that evening, just tucked that information away. It was a just in case situation. He wasn’t expecting sex of course, it was nice to just have a friend in Eddie. And if he had started thinking about him more and more since Derek had moved out, if he had bought tapes of all of Eddie’s albums and listened to them on repeat, if he had felt himself get shy and giggly every time he spoke to Eddie on the phone - well that was just details.

Eddie arrived while Robin and Tina were still out at work. Leaving Steve with the responsibility of letting Eddie in.

“Is this Brandy?” Eddie asked, nodding at the cat that was laying in Steve’s arms like a baby.

“Yes she's extremely spoiled.” Steve responded, letting Eddie in.

“You’re so gay.” Eddie replied.

“No way.” Steve exclaimed, shutting the door behind Eddie. “Are you serious? I’m gay? Big news.”

Eddie put his stuff down and started taking his shoes off. “You can be sarcastic all you want but if you told 19 year old me that Steve Harrington ends up gay I’d think I lost my mind.”

“Oh I kept it buried deeeeeep inside.” Steve let Brandy climb up onto his shoulder.

“Not the only thing you kept deep inside.” Eddie joked.

Steve felt his face flush pink, opened his mouth to say something, instead let out a ‘Hmmm aaaahh. You want a drink?”

“Great segue. Yeah can I just get a water actually?”

Steve nodded, put Brandy down and disappeared into the kitchen to get some drinks.

-

“So did you see my SNL performance?” Eddie asked. They were sat out on the balcony, enjoying the first creepings of heat at the end of spring. Eddie smoked, Steve said he was quitting but took a few drags anyway.

“Yeah you were great. Getting introduced by Pamela Anderson too. Holy shit.”

“She’s super nice too.” Eddie said. “Too bad she’s married.”

“Oh yeah because you’d have the guts to hit on her."

“I might. If I hadn’t quit drinking at least.”

“Sure you would.” Steve laughed.

“I had the guts to kiss you didn’t I?"

Steve passed the cigarette back to Eddie, their hands brushing.

“Would you have the guts to kiss me again?”

Eddie grinned. “Finally.”

They were lying on the couch, hands in each other's hair, tongues in eachothers mouths when Robin and Tina came home. Robin’s initial excited ‘Heeeeeellllooooooo” turned quickly into a “No! Steve! Eddie! Get a room!”

Eddie jumped up. “Robin! Tina!” Pulling them into a hug.

“If you guys are going to hook up go over to Steve’s please.” She said.

Eddie tutted. “We just go sidetracked. I’m here to spend time with you all.”

“Hmm. Good. I was thinking we could go to that new Thai place for dinner.” Robin said.

“It’s like crazy hard to get a reservation but my friend works there, can get us in.” Tina added.

“Sounds good.” Steve said.

“Sounds amazing.” Eddie added.

It was amazing. The food was delicious, the ambience was calming but there was enough chatter about the place that it felt comfortable, where they didn't feel the need to awkwardly whisper or suppress their laughter. Eddie got recognised a couple times, asked for an autograph once and Steve couldn’t stop staring at the way he interacted with his fans. Couldn’t believe that the man who used to spend his recess sitting in corridors quoting Lord of the Rings and whispering to himself in class while doodling wizards and orcs all over his textbooks - was now this cool famous guy. Like okay maybe he still wasn’t cool but fame is just international popularity and high school Eddie was anything but. And he handled it so well, better than King Steve had managed his short lived reign of high school. And worst of all, Steve just couldn’t stop thinking about fucking that nerd.

And when the girls were distracted by their own conversation Eddie slid his hand under the table and squeezed Steve's thigh with a wink. Steve almost knocked the table over, the way he jumped. The girls immediately shooting suspicious looks over at them. But the suspicion didn't last, when Eddie said "So where are the best clubs, round here?"

They ended up in a gay club (obviously) - one that was super exclusive and often frequented by celebrities. Robin and Steve had been waiting for an excuse to convince Eddie to go with them, given that he was their only ticket into the club. And it was just as incredible as they had always imagined. It was also almost impossible to keep Robin tethered to her chair to avoid her embarrassing herself in front of Queen Latifah who was trying to innocently get a drink when Robin, beet red and shaking, asked for her autograph. At that point Robin, who said she could die happy, wanted to go home and Tina, who didn’t like the Thai food, was hungry and so they left the club.

“You don’t want to leave yet do you?” Eddie asked.

“Not a chance Eddie. They’re playing ABBA” Steve said, dragging Eddie to the dance floor, admiring the way the lights looked splashed across his face.

Steve hadn’t ever been to a club sober before. In fact he hadn't been to a club in years. Normally he would be in bed by 9pm these days. But there, with Eddie staring into his soul with those big brown eyes there was nothing he wanted more than to just keep dancing. The hands that Eddie ran down Steve waist as they danced only inspiring him to stay awake longer. Eventually, both sweaty and with cracked voices from screaming along to the songs (despite the fact Eddie said the music was the ‘most ridiculous pop trash I’ve ever heard’) they found themselves in the stairwell, Eddie’s hands creeping under Steve’s shirt, tracing the lines of his scars beneath his fingertips.

“Come back to mine.” Steve whispered into Eddie’s skin as he kissed down his neck. As he spoke the lights came on above them, signalling the place was closing.

Eddie looked up at the light above, “What time does this place close?”

“5am? I think.” Steve looked at his watch. “Yeah, jeez that went fast.”

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

“My coach is at 5:30 I have to go.” Eddie pulled back.

“What? Nooo.” Steve whined, pulling Eddie back by his belt loops.

“I have to go baby. Don’t worry, I’ll call.” He slinked away.

“I’ll get you in bed some day Munson.” Steve called.

Eddie turned in the doorway, winked and disappeared into the dawn.

-

It was pride, the next time Eddie was in town. It's his first pride since publicly coming out, which meant he could publicly celebrate. It also meant he was invited to perform. Which was a very big deal. I mean generally he wasn't playing to crowds of people in neon outfits, short shorts and leather- well okay maybe not the leather- but the gist of it was what if they hated him? What if he wasn't the type of music they wanted? What if being gay wasn't enough to officially be part of gay culture?

"Eddie." Tina said, her hand on his shoulder as he sat on her kitchen stool. "Being gay is all you have to do to be loved by the gays. Stop fretting."

"But I am fretting."

"The metal scene isn't as straight as you think, you should know that more than anyone."

"Well I also know more than anyone thats it kinda is. You know how many homophobes started burning my tapes and tour merch after i came out."

"They weeded themselves out."

"Doesn't mean I don't have a specifc market."

"Lesbians." Robin interrupted. "Butch leather lesbians."

Eddie sat back for a minute. Took a breath. "Holy shit, you're right."

"Yeah. As per. Now move I need to get the waffle iron out of that cupboard." She shooed him from the kitchen, so he slumped over the back of the sofa, landing ungracefully in Steve's lap, his hair splayed over the armrest. Steve almost unconsciously began stroking it, like a primate picking out lice, the innate urge to groom your loved ones.

"You'll be fine, Eds. I spoke to all the San Fran gays and they promised they won't boo."

"Oh you know all the gays in San Fransisco?"

"Yeah what do you think I've been doing since Derek left? Or who do you think I've been doing?"

Eddie slapped him playfully on the arm, sat up too quickly, had to hold onto Steve's shoulder to ride out the head rush. "Well that gives me absolutely no reassurance. Don't you exclusively date liars?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm trying something new."

Eddie of course had nothing to worry about. The performance went great, and even those in the crowd who had no idea who he was, still seemed incredibly grateful at his outfit choice of tasselled leather chaps (over his jeans, I know what you are thinking) and not much else. Steve was also incredibly thankful, and chose to communicate his gratitude with his mouth, after finally getting Eddie back to his apartment later that evening. He had him pressed against his dresser, mouthing the stubble that lined Eddie’s jaw.

“God I bet all those guy out there wish they had you like this.” Steve groaned into Eddie’s neck.

“I’m all yours baby.” Eddie replied.

Steve nuzzled into Eddie’s ear. “Fucking finally.” He said as he began to sink to his knees. Only he didn’t make it to the ground, his pager beeping in his back pocket shocking him into standing up straight, so quickly his head hit into Eddie’s face with a thunk. Eddie’s hand flung to his face, his nose immediately spurting blood. Steve held the pager in his hand staring at the code displayed - his eyes darting between the pager screen and Eddie’s face.

“I’m so sorry.” He reached out and placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. "Are you okay? I really have to- do you need ice? I have to get this its an emergency. Do you need a kleenex? I’ll be just a moment to - I have to call -"

“Steve, calm down, take the call I’m-" He pinched the edge of his nose, hissing at the pain. “I’m fine.”

Steve returned to the bedroom five minutes later with a box of Kleenex and a worried look on his face. Eddie, who had made himself comfortable in Steve’s bedroom, was already holding tissues against his nose. “I found some in your top draw, next to some lotion and a butt plug. I wonder what you use these tissues for.”

“You little snoop.”

“My nose is bleeding because of your fat head so I felt I was entitled to a little snooping.” Eddie sat up straighter, his tone changing. “What’s going on?”

“I have to go.” Steve said.

“It’s bad, huh?”

“One of my kids - one of the kids I look after - she ran away from her foster parents place and …I think I know where she’ll have gone. I’m sorry.”

Eddie nodded. “Don’t apologise it’s - you go. I’ll just annoy Robin and Tina until my flight.”

Steve laughed pulling his shoes on, kissing Eddie on the cheek. “Let yourself out.”

Eddie sighed. “I’ll get you into bed one day, Harrington.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve huffed, waving as he left the apartment.

-

“What are you doing?”

“Hello? Eddie? That is no way to start a phone call.”

“Okay sorry. Hello Steve, it’s Eddie. Munson. How are you?”

“I’m good thank you, I’m actually making soup right now.”

“Wow your life is so exciting.”

“Sorry Mr Rockstar we can’t all spend our evenings snorting cocaine off half naked women.”

“Hey that was one time - I am sober now.”

“Yeah exactly, so maybe you should get into soup.”

“Sigh yeah okay Steve. Anyway I didn’t mean what are you doing now, I meant what are you doing for Christmas?”

“Same as usual, just gonna stay in San Fran.”

“Oh come on Steve. Not the same as usual, I know Robin’s visiting Tina’s family in Mexico. Don’t spend Christmas alone.”

“I won’t be alone, I have Brandy.”

“Goddammit Harrington, you’re depressing me. Come to Wayne’s with me.”

“No, no I couldn’t.”

“Please Steve, I want you to. Wayne has to work til midnight Christmas Eve anyway, so I’ll be bored out of my mind. You can bring Brandy too if you want, Wayne loves cats.”

“Hmm. She hates travelling. My neighbours probably wouldn’t mind taking her.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Yeah…yeah its a yes.”

“Nice.”

“Thank you Eddie, for the invite. Means a lot.”

-

Steve felt 19 years old again, sitting in his car outside that trailer. It wasn't technically the same trailer, the one he had pulled Eddie's lifeless body through an interdimensional hole in the ceiling. That trailer was stripped down to the bones and rebuilt. Wasn't even on the same plot of land, a couple hundred meters east. That land ended up cemented to within an inch of its life. They built a gas station on it. Regardless, the trailer sat in the trailer park, looking eerily identical. This was why he never came back to Hawkins. At least thats what he told himself. His lack of people to come back for only minor details.

There was a thwack on the roof, Steve jumped, crash landed right back into reality. Eddie was leaning against the car, a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

"I thought that was you. Why are you just sitting in your car like a creep?"

Steve bristled, pulled himself together, pushed the car door open slowly enough that Eddie had time to get out of the way.

"Just lost in thought."

"Good ones I hope." Eddie held out his hand, an offer to take Steve's bags. Steve shook his head, Eddie shrugged and skipped ahead, held the door open for Steve.

It smelt different. At least than memory served. Perhaps it was that Wayne had quit smoking, that Eddie wasn't ever there long enough to let his own habits sink into the furnishings.

Eddie motioned to the pull out bed. "We'll be out here. The bedrooms Waynes now so…"

"Yeah, yeah of course." Steve put his bags down by the sofa. "Should I take off my shoes?"

"Depends what you wanna do."

"What are the options?"

"We could go for a walk. You know…" He mimed smoking a joint. "Wayne doesn't like me doing it in the house."

"I could use a walk."

They returned to the trailer bleary eyed and shivering slightly from their shared inability to dress for the weather. "I have an excuse." Steve said. "I live in California now I'm not used to it. Whats your excuse East Coast?"

"My excuse is that I have an aesthetic to uphold."

"Slutty emo."

"Something like that."

Steve threw his shoes off and immediately tucked himself under the covers on the pull out bed, shuddering as he held the duvet over him.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Eddie asked puling on an old Hawkins High band hoodie Steve snorted at.

"Yeah sure, band geek." Eddie reached over Steve and slid his hands down the front of Steve's shirt. Steve jolted up pulling Eddie's cold hands off of him. "Horrible boy." He said. Eddie laughed, reaching for a VHS from the shelf above the TV.

"I think you're gonna hate this one." Eddie said.

Steve did hate it. It was a christmas movie, he'd give him that, but Jack Frost was not a feel good movie.

"That's the freakiest snowman I've ever seen I would molotov that guy in a heartbeat." Steve said.

As it turned out it didn't much matter that Steve didn't like the movie, having missed most of it after Eddie innocently brushed a hair out of Steve's face resulting in them aggressively making out on the creaky cot. That wasn’t the intention, that time, to actually try to sleep with one another. They had wanted only to not be alone over the holidays. And it felt rude, both of them technically being guests in Wayne's house. So when Wayne came home early, and Steve practically jumped across the room and out of Eddie’s arms, it wasn’t a disappointment to either of them, that they hadn’t managed to make it past first base.

“Good evening boys. Steve.” Wayne said.

“Hi, thanks for having me Mr Munson.” Steve said, still stood awkwardly at the end of the bed.

“I got let off early.” Wayne said. “Bought Chinese food.” He placed the bags on the side. “I wasn’t sure if you were vegetarian or nothing so I got a mix of everything.”

“I like everything.” Steve said.

“Mmm me too.” Eddie said climbing out of bed and rifling through the bag over Wayne's shoulder. He turned to Steve, shoving a prawn cracker in his mouth. "Shall we move the bed back against the wall so we can eat and watch TV."

Wayne grunted his approval while pulling plates and cutlery out of the cupboard. Steve got to work pushing the bed back, leaving space for the two of them to climb on top of it, but giving Wayne's armchair a clear view of the TV.

"Good?" Steve asked.

"Great." Eddie replied, before jumping onto the bed. "Now can you get me some food. Pleeeaaase."

"What do you want?" Steve asked edging around the bed toward the kitchen.

"Noodles and -"

"Don't humor him boy." Wayne interrupted, patting Steve on the shoulder as he passed him on his way to his armchair. "We can't let the fame get to his head. Get your own damn food." He kicked playfully at Eddie from where he was sitting, just a little too far away to reach him.

Eddie slinked into the kitchen, wrapped his arm around Steve's waist as he plated up, nuzzled into his neck, taking advantage of the fact Wayne was focused on flicking through the TV channels.

Steve couldn't help but lean back into the touch. Couldn't help but imagine a universe where he was Eddie's boyfriend, where they'd be doing the same thing, spending christmas together, stealing kisses behind Wayne's back, watching movies together as a family.

The warmth of the night spent comfortable together was enough to send Steve to sleep. He couldn’t tell you what they had been watching before he drifted off, doesn’t know if he had crawled beneath the bedding himself or if Wayne had gone to bed yet. But he woke up, later that night, eyes blinking slowly open as the TV flashed across the dark room.

“Eddie.” He said, reaching out into the dark.

“I’m here.” Eddie whispered. “Was just going for a piss if you must know.” Steve felt the bed wobble as Eddie climbed on, the mattress dipping and frame creaking as he got comfortable.

“Probably should have turned the TV off while I was up.” He said.

Steve’s arms snaked around Eddie’s waist. He wasn’t entirely sure he was entirely awake. He wasn’t entirely sure what inspired him to say it, as Eddie fidgeted slightly beside him.

“If you could just stay still for five minutes I think I could fall in love with you.” Steve said. Eddie didn’t reply. Steve wasn’t entirely sure he had said it aloud.

-

Eddie decided to stay still. For the next year at least.

Steve had gotten his first tattoo - a butterfly on his wrist - when he came home to see Robin (who always lets herself in) and Eddie (who Robin had let in).

“I didn’t know you were visiting.” Steve said, throwing his arms immediately around Eddie, pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’m not.” Eddie said, pulling back, holding Steve’s wrist gently, grinnning down at the dark ink pooling in the seran wrap. “You always manage to surprise me, Harrington.”

Steve pulled his hand away coyly. “Oh I uh…what do you mean you aren’t visiting?”

“I’m not visiting. I bought a place down the road.”

“Oh?” Steve resented himself for the grin that sat stubbornly on his face.

“Yeah.” Eddie said, reaching out again to look at Steve’s tattoo again. “I figured I ought to stay still for a while.”

Robin shrugged, said “Sorry I’m busy,” when Eddie asked.

“Busy doing what?”

“Anything but helping you unpack.”

“Just you and me then I guess.” Eddie said, thumping Steve gently on the chest in an uncharacteristic display of masculinity.

“Who said I would help?” Steve taunted, though it took only an elbow nudge and a suggestive grin for Steve to relent, crack a smile and nod, following Eddie out the door.

Eddie didn't have a lot of stuff. “Move around too much.” He shrugged. But Steve couldn’t take that “We are going to IKEA tomorrow okay?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Steve insisted. “Think of how good this place would look with a couple rugs, some plants, some nice fucking lighting.”

“Whatever you say man.” Eddie sighed, lifting a particularly heavy box onto the kitchen counter. “There’s still like three boxes in the van.”

“Yeah and they’re all nerd books.”

“Yeah well, that’s why I need your strong arms helping me.”

“My strong arms can help you.” Steve winked.

“No no stop that.”

Steve moved closer, crowding Eddie against the counter. “We moved the mattress in first though.” Steve whispered against Eddie’s neck.

Eddie threw his head back and sighed. “But we still have stuff to do.”

Steve kissed down Eddie’s neck. “Don’t you think we waited long enough?”

“You’re a bad influence, Harrington.”

Steve gently caressed Eddie’s jaw, pulled him into a passionate kiss, grinding his hip against Eddie. Eddie clinged to his back, eagerly pulling Steve closer, feeling the edge of the counter press into his back he didn’t care he just wanted more of Steve. But, leaving him breathless and eager, Steve stepped away from Eddie.

“No.” Steve said. “No you’re right. We ought to finish unpacking.” He moved halfway across the room before he felt a tug at his wrist, just above his new tattoo, and Eddie pulled him back into his arms. “You fucking tease, Steve.”

They made it, just about, to the mattress that sat in the centre of the bedroom. It was yet to be made, no bedsheet or covers, and the bedframe was still leaning against the wall in an unopened box. But they had waited long enough.

If it weren’t for the growing darkness beyond the curtainless windows, the men would have not noticed the time. Sweaty and half nude, a blanket pulled over them that smelt of dust retrieved from a box in the kitchen post coital, when the chill began to set in, Eddie leant over to reach his watch from the carpet where it lay discarded amongst his jewellery. Eddie laughed, his voice hoarse.

“Goddammit we know how to waste time.” He said. “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” He said, showing the watch face to Steve, the minute hand ticking slowly past midnight.

Valentines Day 1999

“Happy one year anniversary baby.” Eddie said, crawling on top of the bed where Steve had just woken up. Eddie pushed the box, wrapped up with a bow, in front of Steve, who sat up and pulled his glasses on.

“I told you, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

"Yes I did.” Eddie inisted. “You would have moped so bad if I didn’t.”

Steve grinned, pulling his hand through his hair, trying to neaten what the night had done to it. “Yeh well I did find you that rare Iron Maiden record that you insisted on opening early.”

“I had to find out if it was genuine or if you’d gotten ripped off!” Eddie retorted. “Anyway, go on, open it.” Eddie nodded toward the box in front of him, rocking slightly in excitement.

“What’s the ru-" Steve stopped. "Did the box just meow?"

Eddie grinned.

"You did not." Steve’s eyes grew wide.

"I did." Eddie nodded, restraining himself from jumping on the bed.

Steve finally opened the box and pulled out a black cat, a bright red bow tied around its neck.

"Watch out, she’s a scratcher." Eddie pulls up his sleeve, showing the scratches up his arm. "I thought about getting you a kitten but I knew you had an affection for strays."

Steve sighed lovingly as the cat curled up at his side.

"She's perfect.” Steve said. “I just hope her and Brandy get on"

“I think it’s Robin we have to worry about.”

[gabrielokun]

⭐ getting to know your BL mutuals

Tagged by @pharawee​  Thank you ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა Sorry it took me a while

rules: answer the questions and @ some people. include the tag ‘g2ky BL mutuals 2022’ on your post so we can find everyone’s answer.

⭐ what have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year?

Secret Crush on You

And what a surprise it was. Not gonna lie I almost drop it after 1 ep ( ���̯́ ₃ •̯̀)  But I wanted to support Saint so I continue. And Im so happy I did cause this silly little show gave me all of the serotonin I needed ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡  One of the best friends group ever, truly important topics, love and support. This show is so endearing. The only minus is - not enough Daisy (and Touch)

Meow Ears Up

look (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ idk what to say. I just get in without any expectation and its turns out to be so cute and warm and a bit sad and just so much more than I thought it's gonna be

Choco Milk Shake

emmm i guess Im in my furry era ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)  but i really didn't think that dating reincarnation of your dead dog could be so adorable. this show is amazing and i just a little bit salty for not getting ot3 again

On Cloud Nine

It was so confusing but intriguing. Such an interesting story. Also so so beautiful

My Ride

Look even tho they were a couple just for five minutes at the end of the last episode this was a good ride ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა Im a simple girl and sometimes I need a simple show. And this one was perfect for me. It was right show right time

⭐what have been the BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

easy Coffee Melody

I was here for soft Pavel ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

and in theory coffee shop setting, queer band, sassy gay baby - the elements are all there but it's just didn't work out.

i still gonna watch special tho cause i miss my pinky and sassy boy

Physical Therapy

i was skipping it all. it was soooo boring

they look cute in gifs, but its truly not a good show

⭐what has been your favorite BL this year?

My Only 12%

I love love love this show. ✧˖°. Best friends to lovers slow burn :✧｡ Simple but good story, amazing acting, great setting. Coo knows how to cry for sure and I cant stop praising Ta. He is truly talented kid. His Cake was so lively *_* His emotions was always clear and so natural - amazing job! This show is just wonderful

⭐favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

let's stick to 22 (⊙ _ ⊙ )

Ah Jian x Ray (About Youth)/I need more of them

NuerSyn (Cutie Pie)/they are just precious

CakeEiw (My Only 12%)/ simply perfection

VegasPete (KinnPorsche)  /I was on defense with this one couldn't choose between them and KimChay but Vegas is way more pathetic so he won

SkyJao (Secret Crush On You)/ Sky still is the best boyfriend

KanThua (The Eclipse)

SeanWhite (Not Me)/ yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm basic

⭐what’s your non-BL favorite this year?

Ghost Doctor

if you can ignore their overly loud nohomo screams at the end of the show with those agressive hets stories (¬_¬) ep15 (No matter how many rings she puts on a man in a coma, MinTak is superior) this show was amazing

Weak Hero Class 1

This show is incredible!!! I have no words to describe it. So good but extremely heavy.

not tagging cause i'm sure everyone who wanted to do this already posted their ( i am slow sorry ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)ა ) but if by chance somebody wants to participate you are always welcome 

{\__/} (̷ ̷´̷ ̷^̷ ̷`̷)̷◞♡ |  ⫘ |  

[queen-scribbles]

What Comes Next

Call this a... personalized expansion of the conversation after Kurt’s romance scene. Bc I love it as is in the game so I’m not fixing it or anything, but I got a plot worm off the kiss prompt list and it wouldn’t go away. :D

---

Were it not for the dark grey gambeson, Coin Guard heraldry clearly visible as it hung off a chair dappled with early morning sun, Vesper might have worried last night was just an exceptionally good dream.

But any such fear would have lasted mere moments, as the comfortable weight of Kurt’s arm draped over her registered. It was followed shortly by the warmth of him at her back and she smiled, muffling a giddy laugh in her hand. Her chest felt too full with the abundance of joy it contained. Not a dream. 

Kurt shifted and mumbled even as she covered his hand with hers, his breath raising goosebumps across her shoulder blades. Vesper’s smile widened and and she bit her lip when he stilled.

“Good morning, Kurt,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze before ghosting her fingers over his knuckles, up the back of his hand to his wrist.

His breath caught, but rather than pull away as she’d half-feared, he kissed that curve where shoulder met neck, the one that made her hum. “Morning, Green Blood,” he said softly. There was a moment of silence, a hesitation before he asked, “What happens now?” His tone clearly dreaded the answer even as his fingers traced gentle lines on her stomach.

“Well,” Vesper twisted around to face him, unable to keep the mischief out of her voice or her fingers from tracing his truly magnificent jawline as she spoke, “I figured you would be wanting to get up and... do things, early riser that you are. I should probably do likewise, with our list of tasks, but was planning to enjoy the comforts of my bed just a little longer.” Her fingers slipped higher, tracing over his brow and then the shell of his ear. “You’re welcome to do so with me. If you’re willing to break your routine just this once.”

Rather than laugh or shake his head at her teasing, the same strange vulnerability as last night--when he confirmed she wanted this, wanted him--filled his eyes. “So you... still want to be with me?”

“Yes,” she replied, firmly and without hesitation, her heart twisting at the disbelief in his voice. She silently cursed everyone who ever made him doubt his worth as she cupped his jaw and held his gaze. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Kurt arched a brow, fingers rubbing absent, hesitant circles against her back.  “Surely, Your Excellency, you have better options than a mere mercenary.”

Vesper almost snorted; he’d been with her every day since they landed, he would know if there were any she considered other options, let alone better ones. Even leaving that aside... “You mean better than my faithful and trustworthy bodyguard?” She kissed the scar that cut into his eyebrow. “Who’s kept me safe for years?” Kissed the lower part of the scar, where it hooked across his cheek to the bridge of his nose. “Who cares a great deal about me and others, whatever he might protest to the contrary?” She arched a playful brow and brushed a kiss over the scar on his chin.

”Green Blood-”

“I’m almost done,” she promised, lightly resting a finger to his lips. “Who’s trained me to fight, to protect myself, and still watches my back with peerless skill?” She moved her finger and kissed the scar scoring his lips. “Who knows me better than just about anyone in the world?” She kissed him again, gently but fierce.  “No, I don’t think I have any options better than that.”

“You make me sound like some kind of saint,” Kurt grumbled against her mouth, but it was half-hearted at best and there was a twinkle in his eye.

“Maybe you are,” Vesper teased. “Between putting up with Constantin and watching out for me so tirelessly and so long with nary a complaint.”

“There hasn’t been anything to complain about. You are...” He laughed softly, his hand sweeping up her spine. The contrast of gentle touch and calloused fingers raised gooseflesh in its wake. “You are everything I want, and everything that I love.” He ran his fingers through her hair, studying her with unmistakable fondness and no small amount of wonder.  “How did I get so lucky?”

“You were due,” she murmured, fingers caressing a lash-scar that curled up over his shoulder. “More than, in my opinion.” She trailed her fingers up his neck, across his cheek, traced his lower lip with her thumb. “I cannot imagine my life without you in it, Kurt. It doesn’t work, and I don’t want it to.” The joyful contentment burst out as another, even wider, grin. “I love you, too.”

Kurt pulled her in for a kiss, his fingers digging deeper into her hair.

Vesper laughed into it as she kissed him back, her hand sliding to the back of his neck. “So, my beloved Captain,” she murmured with an unabated grin when they parted,  “will you be staying with me?”

“My sweet Excellency,” he kissed the corner of her jaw and held her close, eyes twinkling, “I do believe I will. It is a very comfortable bed.”

She was still grinning, unsure she’d ever stop. “Isn’t it?”

Another laugh, another kiss, and the sun had risen much higher by the time they finally made it out of bed. 

[notstilinski]

Midnight Mass Starters !

Taken from the 2021 Netflix series, Midnight Mass! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! Keep in mind that some spoilers for the show will be present!

“Are they okay? They’re gonna be okay?”

“While you’re at it, ask him why He always takes the kids, while the drunk fucks always walk away with scratches.”

“Oh, their lips to God’s ears. No. They’re lips to my ass.”

“I’m good. I’d actually prefer not to smell like cat shit.”

“You know, sometimes there’s a storm, and it floods, and those bodies just pop up right out of the ground. Cat food.”

“I’m surprised that you’re surprised. I figured this is where you wanted to be. You were trying to break in, after all.”

“This isn’t a community anymore, honey. It’s a ghost.”

“Come on, no one can fool the altar boys.”

“No, uh, I think that you’re the prodigal one. I’m just the black sheep.”

“Look at us, back where we started. The one place that we swore we’d never end up.”

“So, I mean, you came back… Here. You came back here on purpose. Why?”

“Ride out the storm tonight, and then tomorrow, you’ll see what tomorrow is all about. Find another project.”

“Well, that’s the thing about where we’ve been. It’s important, sure. But it’s not as important as where we’re going.”

“Every place before where I am now, well, they were just leading me here even if I didn’t know it at the time. Even if I didn’t see it.”

“Are you really walking by without saying hi?”

“This darkness. This blackness that spilled into us.”

“Even out of the blackness, love will rise again.”

“I don’t want to hold up the town’s pariah.”

“Shit I did, I don’t care about me so much either. But what did he ever do? What did he ever do to you?”

“My friend here is just leaving, and they mean no harm. Not they’re fault that they were born woefully fucking unfunny.”

“You ever hear of RR? AA for pirates.”

“See, I’m a pretty rational person, and you know that all our myths, our religions, come from natural occurrences that we can’t explain.”

“No, it’s more than that. You take care of people.”

“You stole from me things I didn’t even have yet. You reached through time, (Name)! You reached through time and stole!”

“If I can forgive you, (Name), then anyone can.”

“It’s like this particular brand of self-righteousness that is exclusive to a certain breed of religion.”

“But just now… It’s like I woke up, and there you are.”

“Told you they’d catch on. We’re a trio now.”

“But then being in there with you, and (Name), and talking like that, talking under those circumstances where I feel like... maybe my life might be worth it.”

“It felt too easy to leave. Like, I shouldn’t just leave.”

“I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“I knew all the while that I’d have to lie to the very people that I’m here to save.”

“All three of us, we, um, we were a little scared shitless.”

“I already had resentment in my heart, and I shouldn’t have.”

“But children just don’t do what you did on their own, not unless one of their parents has failed them something awful. And you’re mother’s a saint, so I guess that just leaves me.”

“It’s a special kind of self-pity to identify with the destruction of Jerusalem.”

“Everyone gets their wings clipped at some point.”

“I think we all want, so badly, for there to be a reason. For everything. And some justice, and some comfort when we die.”

“That’s what we mean when we say heaven. No mansions, no rivers of diamonds or fluffy clouds and angel wings. You are loved. And you aren’t alone.”

“Give yourself over, while you understand it or not.”

“Well, at least they didn’t call them Bong.”

“When something like this happens, we are all supposed to be the same.”

“He seemed fine. But that’s what they say. People who aren’t okay.”

“Just wondering who the hell lit those campfires in the sky.”

“You were aware of yourself, but you acted involuntarily.”

“I worry. I worry about that one. They’re hardly the reliable sort.”

“You brought me out here, where there is nowhere for me to go, to do what exactly?”

“See, I can’t believe you’d want to scare me. I don’t believe that.”

“I’m not as strong as you. I never was.”

“I’ll show them, they don’t have to be afraid of us. I’ll show them who we are.”

“What I know is that (Name) sacrificed everything. Everything. Because they thought I could help.”

“It never made sense to me. We say there’s a heaven and that it’s waiting for us. Then we claw, fight and beg for a few more minutes at the end.”

“We made our choices. We lived our lives.”

“Is that what I’ll become? Just an animal who can’t resist?”

“I suppose virtue isn’t a virtue if it doesn’t cost you anything.”

“I am so proud of you, and I just wish that we had gotten to know each other.”

“I don’t know, but I think that I killed my mom.”

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Dream SMP Characters as Lyrics from Dave Malloy Musicals

(note: only got lyrics from tgc, ghost quartet, octet, preludes, and moby dick. not all characters are here, though i think i got majority! also, some characters have two quotes because i couldn’t pick lol)

Eret:

All of my life I spent searching the words Of poets and saints and prophets and kings And now at the end all I know that I’ve learned Is that all that I know is I don’t know a thing

- Dust and Ashes, Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Fundy:

They say you can see your future In the long row of candles Stretching back and back and back Into the depths of the mirror In the dim confused last square You’ll see a coffin or a man Everyone sees a man

- Sunday Morning, Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

I don’t know if this is me at all Or just some ghost of me That I dreamed up Just to sing myself to sleep Or someone that I used to be Or someone that I will be Or someone that I am right now

- I Don’t Know, Ghost Quartet

Niki:

And I’m haunted by that memory Of who I used to be So gleeful So blank So ready I was empty then And I’m empty now But it’s not the same at all

- Tango Dancer, Ghost Quartet

Phil:

What if you just missed something? What if you let something go? Just for the night Would that be alright? Oh, I swear it’ll be the same They are all motes of dust We are all motes of dust

- Glow, Octet

(20+ more under the cut!)

Karl:

I’ve got a thousand one stories Every single one of them’s a lie Let me read you a story Let me read you a romance I will read, you will listen And this terrible night will pass

- I Don’t Know, Ghost Quartet

Staring at the mirror ‘Til everything's fuzz My memory is a trap I’m not what once was Infinity is mine It whirls and it swoops And I am but a child I am on a loop I am on a loop I am on a loop I am on a loop I am on a loop (x10)

- Loop, Preludes

Sapnap:

A pencil scratch on an empty page You lift the latch and open a window pane And all I hear is the sound Of your life singing in my ears And all of the peace that I had for so many years Now that’s all gone, all gone All of my life is entwined with my love Every whisper, snore, and heartbeat Every rhapsody of What’s yours is mine

- Not Alone, Preludes

Purpled:

But I will transcend And vomit this loser out of me I will become the next big thing I will light myself on fire It’s time to get out of bed And be the Starchild I can be

- Starchild, Ghost Quartet

Ghostbur:

And you You were there too You drove that train Right through my heart But I guess it’s time To put that to bed I guess it’s time To let the dead be dead

- Hero, Ghost Quartet

Schlatt:

Drink with me, my love For there’s fire in the sky And there’s ice on the ground Either way, my soul will die

- The Duel, Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Puffy:

I am not a hero I am not a movie star I am not a genius, I know I am not a monk I’m not special I’m the same as anybody else

- Hero, Ghost Quartet

Foolish:

I suspect deep down I don't care if I die How else could I Be wasting so much time On this sweet fluorescent smiling brainrot? Stupid and dry eye poison?

- Candy, Octet

Techno:

First they poisoned the water Then they poisoned the sky And now it’s our minds And you gotta stay vigilant Everyone thinks they’re so top tier No one sees the fragmentation in themselves

- Actually, Octet

My soul is grooved to run on iron nails I will rush through hearts of mountains Over gorges, under raging riverbeds Now, see if you can swerve me

- Sunset, Moby Dick

Quackity:

For years you study the monster Practicing your irony and outrage On a scraping violin 10,000 hours of shrieking malnutrition Your practice makes you master of the monster Your brain is chemically changed Your mind goes dark and strange And you fall apart Like a naked mannequin Clattering to the floor

- Monster, Octet

This crown I wear made of iron not gold, is so heavy Its jagged edge, it beats against my brain But the men I lead, their souls are sold, they’re ready Too burn and bleed and hunt until you’re slain

- Sunset, Moby Dick

Hannah:

The forest was beautiful My head was clean and clear Alone without fear The forest was safe I danced like a beautiful fool One time some time The twilight moon Smiling and winking Mist across my cheeks Murmuring magic Whispering soft Soothing green

- Hymn: The Forest, Octet

Tubbo:

I have a lot of memories And I have a lot of sadness But the two don’t line up The two don’t line up

- Tango Dancer, Ghost Quartet

Dream:

And I feel the moonlight whispering through my hair And let my thoughts uncoil and go somewhere else Where I can just not care

- Loop, Preludes

But now The woods are dark and cold Clogged with nettles and roots There is a monster And I am a monster

- Hymn: The Forest, Octet

Punz:

You and I We were always a mess Drinking our bourbon Screaming in the streets When I saw you coming Ice and rage in your eyes I put on my armor and my shield And raised up my sword

-  Hero, Ghost Quartet

Ranboo:

Now I don’t know But I’ve been told And that’s true of everything I think I know Everything I think That I don’t know But I’ve been told Yes I’ve been told

- I Don’t Know, Ghost Quartet

I dissociate all the time Like I’m not completely here right now I feel very far away from myself right now And I don’t trust myself anymore And I don’t love— Fuck it

- Actually, Octet

Sam:

And here Anatole With the stubborn attachment small-minded people have For conclusions they’ve worked out for themselves Repeated his argument to me for the hundredth time

- Preparations, Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Ponk:

Pierre sniffed as he looked at her, but he didn’t speak ‘Til then he had reproached her, and tried to despise her But now he felt such pity for her That there was no room in his soul for reproach

- Pierre & Natasha, Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Michael:

Isolation, anxiety Inability to assimilate with society And the fear that the monster will find me Infect me and blind me Butcher my heart and distort my soul It’s starting to get to me It’s starting to get to me

- Hymn: The Forest, Octet

I am not a fucking luddite Or a cracked illuminati Or a stubborn crazy codger I am sane And I am telling you, the monster is real

- Monster, Octet

The Egg:

Come hither, broken hearted Here is another life Here are wonders supernatural Here is the face of God without dying

- Loomings, Moby Dick

Skeppy:

There’s a forest burning somewhere And the moon is red as blood But then I look in your eye and the fairies come And I’m squishing my toes in the mud I’m dancing on the stones of the oracle I’m kissing in the waterfall I’m under your spell, in a wishing well I’m lost and I don’t care at all

- Four Friends, Ghost Quartet

Bad:

I am a joyful person An optimistic person But sometimes I get scared You’ve been drowning so long in your ocean What if my boundless joy has a limit after all? And I’m not the rock you need to save you? You are in a hole And so I jump into the hole But I can’t get you out You are in a hole And so I jump into the hole But I can’t get you out

- Natalya, Preludes

Jack:

Well, what if I’m not big enough? To take in so much pain It beats on my brain I am going insane

- Glow, Octet

Someone in this room is trying to feel something Someone in this room is trying to have a beautiful moment Why won’t you let them? Why the fuck are you talking to me? You have no right To inflict your mind on mine

- The First Symphony, Preludes

Tommy:

I will stand in the dark for you I will hold you back by force I will stand here right outside your door I won’t see you disgraced I will protect your name and your heart Because I miss my friend

- Sonya Alone, Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

I was okay once I can be okay again I’ve not gone crazy just yet I know what helps And I know what hurts

- Hymn: The Forest, Octet

Wilbur:

I watch myself reborn as an icon For awfulness and hate

- Refresh, Octet

Beneath us lurk the many monsters of the sea The horrors in the murk wait for me And I thought I could just dip my toes in Didn’t think I would lose my soul in this silver asylum But I let myself disappear I let myself disappear No one grew into anything new We just became the worst of what we were

- The Pacific, Moby Dick

Kristin:

Beyond right and wrong There is a field I will meet you there We will lie down in the grass Let the morning hours pass ‘Til the words you and I fall away And there’s nothing left to say

- The Field, Octet

[lantsovsupremacist]

nikokai lantsov: home

hate is spitting out each other’s mouths but we’re still sleeping like we’re lovers.

set during ruin and rising ig?? no spoilers <3 happy reading!

even all consuming contempt could not stop you from crawling into his bed. you hated yourself for it. a part of you though, hidden deep under the suffocating layers of frustration and exhaustion, accepted the inevitable a long time ago.

you used the incessant aching in your calves to justify the decision. his room was steps away while yours was down another floor. the idea of the rickety elevator in the center of the spinning wheel had your stomach turning. you could not trust your overworked body to carry you down the stairs, either.

a single candle burned on top of his coffee table. you caught yourself in the act of shaking your head, having regularly disproven of the rather unsafe habit. you blew it out quietly and moved on but, at this time more than any other, you certainly understood the need for light amidst all of the looming darkness.

he was on his back. although his eyes were closed, you knew better than to assume he was asleep. he always slept on his side—or even on his stomach with his head tucked into your chest. never on his back. much like you knew this, you also knew that he would expect you to pick up on it.

you stripped out of your kefta and almost immediately, the chill in the air seeped through your skin and into your bones. you hung it on the back of the chair adjacent to the vanity—what once belonged to you. you avoided studying any one corner of his room too closely, in fear of the ghost of memories coming back to haunt you.

“c’mere.”

maybe if you belonged to a different order, you could have caught the characteristic shift in his breathing before he produced words. you relied on your silent and careful observation. your heart skipped in your chest—a lucky rock getting three jumps in before it plummeted underwater. then, everything stilled.

every other time you had snuck into your ex-boyfriend’s room—four times in the last two weeks to be exact—you both remained silent. you could not help but keep count. the small action gave you back some of the control you so readily and shamefully relinquished each time you closed his door behind you. you were both smart enough to understand just how much the quiet within itself communicated.

so, when he chose to speak and forgo the expected routine, you nearly jumped. your heart took a moment to remember it’s new place among his. the soft lilt of his voice did not match a tone normally reserved for someone that had broken his heart.

but of course, he had broken yours, as well. with all of the shattered pieces from that damage, it should have come as no surprise that in the hurried cleanup, some of the fragments got swapped. you knew you carried a few pieces of his heart. you might have stuffed them at the bottom of your pockets, hoping to forget they were there, but the weight could never go unnoticed.

“don’t be difficult about it. you’re shivering where you stand.”

there was your ex. maybe, if you were still together, he would have finished his words with calling you love or darling. however, this was not the case. he could no longer even call you his own let alone elaborate on that with an added sentiment.

your eyes did not meet but you knew that mattered little to the surety of his invitation. it nearly embarrassed you, the way his voice bit right into the night. yet, there you were you, poised and ready to climb in next to him and let him warm you under the covers of his duvet.

nikolai hummed as you dropped next to him.

“never delicate with anything.”

“i’ll leave this bed right now.”

the blonde beside you scoffed. your skin shivered as he ran his fingers along your spine, tracing a new pattern all his own. after a moment, you shifted to face him. his blue eyes cut into the night, visible by the trails of moonlight cascading in through his cracked window.

“why talk to me now? touch me?” you mused with all of the playfulness held in your tone and none in your gaze, “you always preferred the quiet and stillness before.”

it almost pained you to watch him equip himself with the armor of carelessness before your eyes—the word almost included because you saw the truth in his eyes. they could never lie to you.

“maybe because it’s the coldest night of the year and despite being your ex, i’m not a dick.”

maybe because i miss you.

all things considered, though, he was right. he was all class. you could not even attribute the quality to the way his parents brought him up. no, nikolai lantsov was the daring flower that chose to bloom among the weeds that filled every crevice of the little palace.

“besides,” he continued to challenge you, “you responded. in fact,” he nudged your leg lightly with his foot, “you’re on me right now.”

you’re on my mind, too.

you shifted uncomfortably under his stare, closing your eyes for a moment. when you opened them again after a pause, you found him studying your face. from the way his curls sprawled onto the pillow sloppily, he had run his hand through them all night.

“i never stopped missing you.” the frailty of his whisper exposed every vulnerable piece of his being.

“nikolai,” you shook your head as you bit your lip forcefully, “stop.”

“no,” he resisted you.

you pushed back the familiar sting behind your irises, “don’t do this. please.” had there not been but a breath between the two of you, your final word would have been lost to the late hours of the night.

“i should have fought for you then,” nikolai built on, “and saints i’m so damn sorry i didn’t.”

“you can’t,” you took a much needed breath, “you can’t put all of that on yourself. we were on a path to destroying each other more than we already had.”

he hated how much it sounded like you had given up.

you blinked quickly, moving to press the palms of your shaking hands to your wet eyes. he caught your wrists halfway, shaking his head. you noticed his eyes had begun to shine with tears, as well. his thumbs caught yours but he held onto his own.

“please.” his voice strained, “saints, please.”

“we’d be so selfish to do this, nikolai,” you spoke, “there is so much more that needs our attention.”

“and what if there’s nothing left after this?” he questioned with an alarmingly sharp tone, “none of it is worth anything if i can’t find my way home to you after,” his voice broke from rising an octave and he sighed before dropping his gaze, “if there’s even an after.”

fright beat the doors to your heart down. ever confident nikolai had not hesitated to express his doubts. you figured everyone harbored a fair share of them but you certainly had not expected him to be the one to let them break his facade down.

your expression grew more solemn. you felt the weight of the bags under your eyes. everything the two of you carried for each other now became yours alone. the burden grew heavier with each fleeting day.

“because i hope you know you are my home,” the fervor in words did not lose itself on you, “and i am so incredibly lost without you.”

cautiously and with the care of a gentle breeze, he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. you sucked in a breath, eyes fluttering closed at the gentle contact of the man who had once loved you unlike any other. perhaps, he still loved you.

he did.

“can i kiss you?”

the tension in the room thickened. if asked, you would swear up and down that it was to blame for the way you curled into him. his strong arms molded against your back, trailing his lips up your neck. teasing without touch.

“you’re delicate with everything,” you whispered, allowing him a glimpse at your smile and saints was he left greedy for more.

his one arm fell to cradle your jaw and the other found the spot right above your rib cage. you leaned into his touch, letting him place his lips on yours and his heart back into your hands. you were home.

[pink-surftable]

Initials (Pt. 4) | Kaz Brekker

kaz brekker x fem!reader

ps: english is not my first language so if there are some gramatical mistakes i would love if you pointed them out so i can improve.

hi everyone here’s part 4!!! just wanted to say a big thank you to all of you. i’m amazed by the amount of notes, coments and new followers! i love you all <3 next part it’s the last!!!!!

warning: i think kaz is a bit ooc in this one but it’s nothing crazy don’t worry! and also pekka mentions kaz’s brother but i’m not sure if he knows about him so i’m sorry if that’s wrong.

part 3

summary: after a mission goes wrong kaz does everything in his power to save you.

——————————————————————————

The sight in front of him made Kaz Brekker shiver.

He didn’t know if it was from anger or pain or heartbreak, but seeing you there in that chair all beat up, made him want to throw up.

“Finally. The party can start now” Pekka said with an amused tone “The lady and I were getting a bit bored up here, Brekker. I thought we’d have to find a way to entertain ourselves” He said standing behind Y/N and putting his hands on her shoulders while he rested his head on top of hers.

The mere mention of his name made you look up. Kaz looked away. He couldn’t bear it. The thought of tha man touching her.

“Let her go. You wanted me. Here I am” the man snickered “Oh, but what’s the fun in that? Please, Brekker sit down, I believe we have business to discuss”

The last thing he wanted was to spend any more time in that place. He wanted to get Y/N and get out and then kill that man for hurting her. But he knew he had to obey if he wanted this to work out, so he took a step closer and sat on one of the chairs.

Pekka remained leaning in front of his desk, not far from where Kaz’s was sitting

“What do you want, Rollins? What is it that you want to let her go?” Kaz snapped. If he didn’t get an answer soon he was gonna explode right there.

“Mmm, you know, I’m not quite sure. Seeing you tremble at the sight of you girl all beaten up has been a gift on it’s own. So I wonder what else could I do to this poor girl that would make you tick even more?” Pekka said standing straight and circling your body as he traced your shoulders with his hands, placing some hairs behind your ear and tracing your lips. But this time you didn’t do anything. You didn’t have the strength to move. You felt weak and ashamed. You hated the way he touched you. Like you were his. Like he could do what he wanted with you.

Kaz was staring. Brows furrowed and knuckles white from the deadly grip he had on his cane. He was able to get a better look at her now.

She was badly injured. Her arms and legs scattered with bruises. Her once white shirt was now ripped and soaked red. Blood was dripping from her lower lip. But what stood out to Kaz was her waist, his initials clearly visible in her skin. That made him lose his composure. His eyes widened and if looks could kill Pekka Rollins would be deep underground right that instant.

“Oh come on! You don’t like it either? Isn’t she yours Brekker? Don’t you go around threatening people at the mere mention of her name? I thought you liked getting your things marked up” He said as he traced the initials on your skin with his fingers.

“You should be thankful they are yours Brekker. I could’ve easily carved mine. Don’t you think? I mean personally I think mine would’ve looked much better on you sweetheart” Kaz looked at you and at that moment he felt his heart stop. You were crying. Maybe from pain, maybe from exhaustion, he didn’t know. The only thing he was certain was that he would bury that man for what he’d done. For what he was saying to you. For what he was implying. For the way he talked as if you were a simple object in the room.

But deep down he knew. Everything was his fault.

He was keeping you there in the hell that was Ketterdam. He was the one putting you in danger on impossible missions. He was at fault for all the suffering you’ve gone through in the last couple of hours.

A single tear ran down Kaz Brekker’s face and Pekka Rollins couldn’t contain his amusement any longer.

“Wow, that was emotional, even for you Brekker. I mean I knew she was definitely your weakness but I didn’t know I just had to tie a girl up and push her around a little for you to submit so easily” At that Kaz’s eyes snapped right back at him.

Gripping his cane he shoved it into Pekka’s chest. “Don’t talk about her like that. Don’t touch her like that. Don’t even breathe in her direction ever again or I swear to all Saints I will burn this whole place down along with you. She’s mine”

“Oh, but I thought you didn’t like her being marked up” He answered almost laughing.

“Calm down boy, we haven’t finished with our proper business” He said lightly shoving Kaz off of him and going to sit on his desk ”Now tell me, what do you have to offer?”

Your eyes widened when you saw the paper. The Crow Club. “Kaz” You snapped. Both men glanced at you “Don’t Kaz. I know how much that means to you. You shouldn’t do it. It’s not worth it”

“It’s worthy for you” He replied showing such an immense amount of vulnerability you thought you were dreaming.

Pekka rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed “Ah young love isn’t it cute. I think your pretty Club would be a nice payment. But it’s just not enough” He said, reaching for something in one of his drawers.

“You know Brekker, to be fair the only thing I’ve always wanted from you was just to simply see you break. Your brother, your Crows and now your girl. You’ll see everyone you love, everyone you care for, fall right in front of your eyes and with the weight of shame and blame on your shoulders you’ll be the last to fall, after witnessing it all” Now he was approaching your body with a gun in his hands.

You were doing your best, putting all your strength into freeing yourself but you just couldn't do it. You thought that was it, so you looked Kaz right in the eyes and said “Kaz Brekker, I love you no matter what. This isn’t your fault, none of this is. I love you. Don’t ever forget that, but don’t mourn me either. Hang onto my love but not to the fact that I’m gone”

He couldn’t hold it any more. He couldn’t pretend to be strong any longer and Kaz Brekker stared right into your eyes like he was seeing a ghost. His blue eyes were so cold and lifeless you could feel a chill down your bones.

“Isn’t she the sweetest?” Pekka said, finally pointing his gun at you, when suddenly you heard a big explosion going off and then the door busted open.

taglist: @heavenlymidnight @06072543 @thefandomplace @aleksanderwh0r3 @kykymyeon @rika90 @otterly-fey @cc13723things @starxqt

[ragingbookdragon]

These Words You Should Always Remember: To You, My Heart I Surrender

Batsis x Ghost-Maker One-Shot

Word Count: 4.6 Warnings: Explicit Language, Violence, Angst

Author's Note: This wasn't supposed to be 4K words y'all. I swear. But y'all better love me for it. Enjoy! -Thorne

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There were the occasional sounds of fists meeting faces and shins hitting sides echoing in her ears, but she paid them no mind, eyes trained on the screen before her. She was content to let her brother and oldest friend beat the ever-living shit out of each other if it meant they’d eventually put their feelings aside and make up. Of course, it was a long-shot pipe dream and one not so easily reached—she could hope though.

Over the sound of the continual fighting came footsteps, followed by, “Aunt (Y/N). How’s it hangin’?”

Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled at her second nephew. “Jason,” she greeted warmly, and he bent down beside her, letting her press a kiss to his temple. “What are you doing here so late? I thought you and Roy were going to Panama City tomorrow? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

He shrugged. “Plane leaves in the morning. Figured I’d hang around here for the night to say a couple ‘see you laters’.” Jason’s eyes followed the screen. “Is that the human trafficking ring out of Saint Petersburg?”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) answered, turning to click at the mouse. “Some lawyers from the courts around here got caught in a hotel room with a few of the girls.”

Someone new appeared in her peripheral, two people actually, Tim and Dick. “Didn’t they arrest everybody in the hotel room?” Tim asked, propping his chin on her shoulder.

She reached up and scratched his scalp the way he liked. “They did. The girls were sent to a secure facility for treatment and the lawyers have unsurprisingly lawyered up. None of them are talking.” (Y/N) clicked on the screen, opening a tab that led to an interrogation room. “Gordon’s not having any luck. Whoever’s running this operation is obviously terrifying enough that none of these guys are cracking. Even with the threat of getting sent to prison for life.”

“Want some help?” Dick offered and she shook her head.

“Nah. We adults have it.” (Y/N) looked at them and smiled. “You guys go do what young people do. Hang out with your friends, drink, party, be young.”

“I feel like you’re saying that to the wrong trio,” Tim said. “None of us drink except Jason and even then, none of us party.”

She shook her head again, this time in shame. “God, you people need to live.”

Jason happened to glance over her head, and he frowned. “Speaking of needing to live…you might wanna stop Bruce and GM from killing one another.”

(Y/N) turned in the direction of her friend and brother and sighed. “Am I a terrible person for considering letting them punch each other unconscious?”

“Nope!” came unified response and she chuckled, rising from her seat.

“Thought so,” she said, walking over to where Bruce and Ghost-Maker were about to go at it again.

She stepped in between them, gracefully dodging a throw punch and a kicked-out leg, shoving both of them back in return. “Hey, enough.”

“Move.” Bruce commanded and she glared at him.

“I said, enough.” Her head turned to Ghost-Maker. “We all know this little sparring match has gone a bit farther than just training.”

“No one’s getting hurt, (Y/N).” Ghost-Maker said, and she narrowed her eyes.

“Maybe not right now, but someone will get hurt and we don’t need that.” She pointed to the opposite ends of the room. “Separate and cool off. Both of you.”

Seeing that she wasn’t going to budge, Bruce let out a puff of air and turned, striding into the showers, leaving her and the other man on the mats. (Y/N) sighed quietly, rubbing her temples, and griped, “I swear you both make it so difficult to be around.”

“Only because he lets his emotions get in the way.”

(Y/N) looked up at him, watching as he wiped the sweat from his face. She caught his hand. “You busted your knuckles.”

“I’ll be fine.” He started to pull away and she tightened her grip.

“Don’t even start with me, Ghost.” She tugged him to the med bay and shoved him towards a seat. “Sit.” He obeyed, though she could tell he was probably making a face at her, and she busied herself with finding the antiseptic and some wraps.

Turning back around, she perched herself on the desk and placed his hand in her lap, gently wiping the blood and dirt away from the wounds; then she set the rag aside and wrapped his knuckles with the fresh gauze, carefully, as if he were made of glass.

When she was finished, she couldn’t help but do the childish thing she’d come up with all those years ago during their training; (Y/N) softly rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, blowing quietly, then she murmured, “There. All healed.”

A rare smile came over his lips, though she could tell it was more of a sneer than one. “You’re still doing that?”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and shoved his hand off her legs. “Yes. How do you think I managed to heal all the wounds me and the family have gotten over the years?”

“Hmm, stitches and alcohol.”

“Smart-ass,” she grunted, rising to her feet. “You hungry?”

Ghost-Maker stood from his seat. “No. I have to get back to The Haunt.”

“Hot date waiting?” (Y/N) cracked, elbowing him in the side and he snorted.

“No. I need to read up on the information Icon’s run through since I’ve been gone.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, gazing at him. “You know I’m doing that right now with our scans, right?”

“Of course, I do. But you’re not Icon.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. “Great, I’ve been beaten by an AI.”

“An AI that I designed.” Ghost-Maker added, and she glared at him for a moment before chuckling.

“With fear, so I’ve heard.”

He shrugged. “I figured I would give him the one thing I lack.” He looked over at her. “Do you want to come with me?”

She wanted to, but she sighed heavily. “I can’t.” her eyes found the shower room door. “Someone needs to stay behind and talk to him.”

“I’m not surprised you’re staying.”

It was all he said before he disappeared from her sight and (Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek as something aching tugged deep in her chest. She hated how easy it was for her to understand when Ghost-Maker was disappointed in her decisions. How easy it was for him to impact her feelings. It’d been almost two decades since they actually held real conversations and every memory of the time they’d spent together, her, him, and her brother came back to her. Every moment of watching the two boys go head-to-head, and her torn between her family and the man she loved—it’d always been that way…and sometimes she wished she were like Ghost-Maker, unfeeling of love and empathy.

She shook herself from her stupor and walked into the locker room, leaning against the wall of the closed shower door; she could see his feet beneath the door. “Why do you always let yourself get so angry when it comes to Ghost?”

“You know why.” Bruce retorted. “You know how he is.”

“And I know how you are,” (Y/N) countered. “Yet you refuse to admit that on some level he’s got good points.”

He stuck his hand out from the opening of the door. “Towel.” She waited. “Please.”

Handing it over, she said, “You and I both know the longer we do this the darker it gets…the darker we get.”

“I’m not killing people, (Y/N).” Bruce griped as he stepped out of the shower, the towel around his waist. He’d busted his eyebrow and lip.

“I’m not saying you have to, Bruce. I wouldn’t expect you to. All I’m saying is you won’t admit that Ghost is right about things.”

“About what!” He shouted, turning on her. “That I should just start slitting throats up and down the street! That I should give up what we started as children! What (Y/N)!”

She merely stared at him amidst his yelling and then she calmly stated, “That you can’t save everyone.” He didn’t react, just looked at her as she explained, “You are so hellbent on the idea that everyone can have a moral redemption arc, but the truth is that not everyone has one nor does everyone deserve one.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Sometimes I think Ghost was right. Trying to save everyone? Giving up every part of myself to make sure everyone lives? He was right. It eats until there’s nothing left inside you.”

“So what? You’re going to stop saving people?”

“Don’t be an idiot, Bruce.” She gave him a sharp look and said, “I’m going to stop saving the people who don’t deserve saving. And if that means I let someone bad die? I can live with that.” Walking off, she ignored him as he called out for her to stop, leaving him alone.

***

The little hovering tray floated into her peripheral and she blinked, turning to look at it. “Good evening, Miss Wayne. Refreshments?”

She smiled, plucking a champagne glass off along with a few grapes and cheese slices. “Thanks Icon.”

“You’re welcome.” The tray wandered off and she walked over to where he was sitting down, silently reading through the reports.

“Find anything interesting?” she asked, popping a grape in her mouth as she nudged his elbow off the armrest to perch on it herself. His arm unconsciously rested around her waist, fingers brushing the side of her pants.

“Leonidovich is having a party tonight.”

(Y/N) hummed, watching as he clicked through the pictures of the party’s setup. “Big place. Open. Good for plain clothed security to get around in.” she narrowed her gaze. “This is the ball room of the Winter Nebula Hotel. Who’s renting out the penthouse?”

Ghost-Maker smirked. “Our host for the party.”

She nodded. “Then that’s where the real party is going to be tonight.” Glancing at him, she asked. “Any big ballers on the VIP list?”

“Oh, a few internationally wanted arms and drug dealers.” He looked at the screen. “Leonidovich picked up a new shipment of girls earlier. He’s probably going to make a deal with the dealers tonight in exchange for them.”

(Y/N) nodded. “I guess it’s time to put our noses to the grind then.” She shimmied off the seat and started towards the closet. “Have any dresses back here?”

“You’re going inside?” he questioned, almost sounding surprised.

“Well, you can’t go it,” she retorted. “Your wily ways of fucking and flying means that people know your face.”

“Half of it.”

(Y/N) stuck her head out from the curtain, neck, and shoulders bare. “You’re not going to go in without your mask on. We both know that.” She pulled back in, grunting and shuffling around until she was finished.

Pulling open the curtain, she stepped out in a thigh length white heart-bodice dress, form fitting to her body and off the shoulders. (Y/N) slipped in the black metal teardrop earrings. “Part of me wants to ask why you have female clothing in your closet, but the other part wants to ask why on God’s green earth do you have to buy everything in white.”

Her face pinched. “It’s sterile. At least paint some gray in here somewhere, Jesus.” Ghost-Maker merely chuckled at her complaints and stepped behind her, gently placing something around her neck. “What are you—”

He let the black necklace fall to her chest and gently grabbed her chin, the other plucking a small device from the tray that Icon had next to them. Maneuvering her head to the side, he reached up and stuck it behind her ear, snug and out of sight. “Your hair should cover it,” he said.

“What is ‘it’?” (Y/N) asked.

“Listening device.” Ghost-Maker nodded to the screen, and she looked over, seeing a black box on the screen with a marker that was ticking. He raised his fingers to her ear and snapped; the blue marker etched with the sound, and she couldn’t help but feel impressed.

“Nicely designed, Ghost.” She remarked, glancing back at him. “Get my invitation?”

“It’s printing.” He met her eyes. “You need to be careful.”

(Y/N) knew he was being serious, but she couldn’t help but mess with him a bit. She smirked. “Why, Ghost, are you worried that I can’t handle a bunch of international criminals by myself? Me? That mighty Widow-Maker?”

“I’m not worried about you.” He said, and it hurt a lot more than she expected it too. “But I’d be down a sparring partner if you got yourself killed.”

She blinked at him. “I’m not sure what’s more upsetting—that you only think of me as a sparring partner or that you legitimately think I can’t do this by myself.” (Y/N) tipped her head. “Ghost, I’ve got this.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she turned away, walking to the door. “Where will you be tonight?”

He watched her back. “I’ll be doing what I do best. Surveying until you get into the penthouse.”

“You can’t bust in until I get enough on Leonidovich to have him arrested.”

“I’m not going to arrest him, (Y/N).” She turned, staring at him, but she said nothing, and he cocked a brow. “You’re not going to stop me?”

Her gaze fell to the tile floor, and she shrugged. “I don’t think I can, even if I tried to.” She let out a breath and turned. “Good luck tonight.”

***

To a novice, the party would’ve just been a normal high-class function, but to her knowing eyes, both from her own billionaire life and her vigilantism, this party was crawling with criminals. She’d caught at least seven drug deals go down in the past five minutes since she walked in, and at least nine men went off with escorts.

She inconspicuously grabbed a champagne chute from a waiter’s tray and sipped it lightly, scanning the room for Leonidovich. He was in the corner of the room, sitting next to a few women who (Y/N) recognized from the missing persons in Gotham.

His eyes flashed to hers and she gave him a flirty wink, disappearing to the bar, knowing he was going to take the bait. Sure enough, a hand touched the small of her back and she hummed as his lips brushed her ear. “I wasn’t expecting a goddess like you to come to this party tonight.”

She smiled and leaned back into his chest. “This goddess goes where she pleases.” Tipping her head slightly, she caught his eye. “And where her boss will find the best deals.”

“Deals, hmm?” he hummed. “What kind of deals are you expecting?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Oh, the ones where lots of money is involved…and merchandise.”

He gazed at her for a few moments then murmured in her ear, “The code word for entrance to the penthouse is ‘подземный мир’.”

“I’ll remember.” Leonidovich pulled from her with a smile and disappeared into the crowd. Something made her want to shiver from disgust, but she concealed it, watching and waiting for him to enter the elevator.

When he did, she waited another few minutes before walking over to it; the security stopped her and she cocked a brow, muttering, “подземный мир.”

The two guards looked at each other then stepped aside, letting her into the elevator. Another guard was inside, and she smiled politely as she stepped in, glancing at the little panel as it blinked.

It dinged, signaling their arrival and when the doors opened, she was greeted by an extravagant penthouse. To her surprise, there weren’t many people inside, just Leonidovich and his personal entourage.

“Ah, you’ve come,” he greeted, holding out a hand.

She took it, letting him place a kiss to her knuckles. “I told you, this goddess goes where she pleases and where she’s needed.” Looking around, she murmured, “My boss would prefer our business done alone. Is that possible?”

The guards seemed to turn even frostier but Leonidovich merely chuckled, nodding his head as he let her go and gestured to a side door. “The office is just through those doors. We can draw up a contract.” He turned to his thugs. “Wait here.”

(Y/N) nodded, following him as he led her into the office, noting how he locked the door, and he motioned to a chair in front of the desk. “Please, sit.”

Taking her seat, she crossed a leg over her knee. “You wouldn’t happen to have something to drink, would you?”

“What can I offer you?”

“Vodka.”

He chuckled. “Ah, a woman after my own heart.” He waltzed over to the bar and poured them both glasses, walking back to hand her hers. “Here you are.”

(Y/N) took it and clinked her glass to his. “ваше здоровье.”

They both downed their glasses and for effect, she held her façade. “You speak and drink like a true daughter of Russia.”

She smiled. “I’ve had more than a few drinks with many sons of Russia.” Glancing out the window, she added, “My boss is interested in your inventory. A few of them actually.”

Leonidovich hummed, turning back to wander over to the drink counter. “Tell me about your boss.”

“He’s a multi-billionaire out of Hong-Kong. Made his fortune by building cell towers and selling opium on the side.”

“Opium is a highly sought-after drug.”

“That it is,” (Y/N) agreed. “He’s been branching out into Kolkata, wanting to get into the spice trade.” She gazed into her empty glass, staring at her reflection. “But the men over there want something in return…more than money, if you catch my drift.”

“I do.” He said, matter of factly. “Perhaps I can offer them something better.”

“And what would that be?” almost there. She thought, but she never expected—

“You.”

(Y/N) turned her head just as he swung his arm as hard as he could, the vodka bottle in his grasp. She barely even had time for her eyes to widen when it collided with her temple, shattering into a thousand shards, cutting deep into her skin.

She fell out of her seat and hit the ground, dazed and in a massive amount of pain. Reaching up, she felt the blood pouring from her head and she sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to wipe away the fluid from her eyes so she could see.

Of course, he didn’t give her time because he was pressing his knee into her back, fingers yanking the listening device from behind her ear. Leonidovich glared at it and smashed it between his fingers. “I know who you are working for. I’ve seen this tech before.”

(Y/N) rolled onto her back, throwing out her elbow, which to give her credit, she did catch him in the jaw, but he was quick to respond, punching her across the face. Blood pooled in her mouth, and she spat at him, then his hands were winding around her throat, squeezing tightly. It reminded her of the training in the Amazons where she had to learn to uncoil anacondas from her body.

His grip became tighter and tighter just like the reptiles and she bared her teeth as she tried to suck in air, digging her nails into the flesh of his hands, his wrists, anything she could scratch at. He was heavy enough that she couldn’t flip him and with the dress tight around her thighs, she couldn’t cock her legs up to his shoulders or waist to get any distance between them.

She gasped when he put his knee in her stomach and that was the last bit of air she had to hold in. Her lungs started burning, begging her for air she felt the panic starting to rise in her as she thrashed beneath him, trying to throw him just an inch, but nothing was working.

Dark spots started to ebb out from the corner of her vision and like the phrase had come alive, she saw every moment of her life flash before her eyes. Every wrong decision, every right one. Every goodbye, every hello. Every person she’d ever lost and every one she’d ever saved. Her nephews’ and nieces’ faces darted across her vision followed by Bruce’s and then his.

She didn’t want to die now. Not since he’d come back to see them after so long. She wanted to stay. Wanted to tell him she loved him, even if she knew he would never be able to feel the same. She wanted to live.

Gunshots sounded from the outside, but they were like whispers as her eyelids started to droop shut, brain fogging from the lack of oxygen. Her hands started to go slack as the door was kicked in and as her arms went limp, something damp splattered across her face and the weight of Leonidovich’s body fell away.

(Y/N) sucked in a lungful of air and rolled, with what strength she’d received from the freedom, over onto her side, coughing violently. Her head was swimming with pain and her brain felt like someone had taken a mallet to an overripe melon.

Someone gripped her shoulder and she screeched, flailing on them when they grabbed her wrists. “(Y/N). It’s me.” They pulled her against them, folding her to their chest and placed a hand to the back of her head. “You’re safe.”

Sandalwood and metal oil wafted up her nose and she heard the familiar hum of his suit. “K?” she breathed, terrified to pull away and look at him.

His thumb caressed the back of her head. “It’s me, (Y/N).”

Something broke inside her and she buried her face in his cloak, sobs wracking her body as she clung to him. Words passed her lips, and she wasn’t sure what she was saying but it didn’t matter because all she could think about was how he’d saved her in the nick of time. The man she’d turned her back on at twenty to go home with her brother, had saved her again.

***

When she awoke, she sat up straight in the bed, vaguely unaware of how she’d gotten there in the first place. She started to move when she heard, “I wouldn’t get up if I were you.”

Stilling, she looked over, seeing Ghost-Maker with a book in his hands. Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, one of his favorites. When they used to train together when they were children, they used to lie under the stars, and he’d tell her all about how each chapter in the book had been devoted to a different art of warfare; she loved how passionate he would get when he talked about it.

“What happened?” she asked, fingers twitching against her side where it had started to ache.

“You were found out and almost strangled to death in penthouse suit.” He snapped the book shut. “When the bug went down, I moved in and took care of the criminals in the suite before killing Leonidovich and saving your life.”

(Y/N) frowned as he set the book down and leaned over, checking inside the bandage that was wrapped around her head. “Thank you.” Her eyes found his behind his mask. “What happened after?”

“You don’t remember?” he inquired curiously, and she tried to shake her head, but his grip was firm, keeping her in place.

“No. I remember you saving me but everything after that is a giant blur.” Suddenly she felt too transparent and pulled from his hands, turning her back to him as she threw her legs over the side of the bed. She rested a split second and stood, though his earlier warning rang in her ears as her knees buckled beneath her, head swimming.

He was there in an instant, arms wrapped around her waist as he caught her, lowering her back onto the bed. “I told you not to move.”

(Y/N) grunted at him and when he moved to pull away, she held on, resting her head on his shoulder. “Just…wait, K.” She whispered softly. “Please, just a moment.”

Ghost-Maker didn’t move though she felt the way he tensed at the first letter of his name. “You called me ‘K’ back there too.”

“I was relieved to see you.”

“And what you said afterwards?” She fell silent. “You don’t remember, do you?”

(Y/N)’s lips pulled downwards. “I have an idea of what I said. But I doubt you’ve been oblivious to it all these years.”

“Why do you love me?” he inquired, and from the tone of his voice he was either genuinely curious or completely baffled, she was hoping for the former and not the latter.

She turned her head, ignoring the prickling of pain as her temple brushed his shoulder, and pressed her forehead into his neck. “Because you saw who I was when no one else did.” Tears started swimming in her vision, and she reached up, curling her hand in his suit jacket. “I love you because you’re you, K. Because you’re my oldest friend and the one who’s always known me.”

Ghost-Maker closed his hand around the one in his suit and fell silent for a long while and (Y/N) stayed quiet too, simply letting the tears fall from her cheeks to the skin of his collarbone, her lips quivering against his skin.

“I can’t love you the way you love me.” He finally admitted.

(Y/N) blinked the tears away, whispering, “I know.” She started to pull away from him, reaching up to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry, K.” It was hard to look at him, but she managed it, barely. “Just…give me some time and let me work through all,” she gestured around herself, her heart, and her head. “This.”

“You’re not angry at me.” He remarked and her brows furrowed.

“Of course not. Why would I be?”

“Because I don’t feel what you do. Love.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh despite the heartache. “K, I’m not going to get angry because you don’t feel love.” She reached up and placed a hand to his cheek, her thumb brushing against the fabric he kept covering his nose and eyes. “I know that in your own way you do care. Even if it’s not love.” Her hand shifted and she ran her thumb over his lips. “I can live with that.”

Ghost-Maker slid his hand up the side of her neck, pulling her to him; he pressed his lips to hers and she closed her eyes, letting herself be lost in the bliss of the moment, if only for a moment, then she pulled away and opened her eyes, gazing at him.

She offered him a sad smile and managed to find her feet again, rising from the bed, leaving him there. “I’ll see you sometime soon, K.” she said, walking to the door.

“Do you want me to call Bruce to pick you up?”

“No. I’ll walk for a bit.” (Y/N) got to the door and stopped, pausing to look back at him. “K?”

He glanced over, meeting her gaze. “Hmm?”

“Do you know what my biggest regret is?”

“I don’t.”

(Y/N) grimaced. “It was leaving you.” Even behind his mask, she knew the surprise was in his eyes; she knew him that well. “And if I could do it all over again…I’d stay with you instead of getting on the plane that night.”

Ghost-Maker looked shocked for a moment, then it gave way to a smile. A real smile. One she hadn’t seen in years from him. “I think I would liked that.”

“Goodnight K.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Stay safe.”

[alreadyblondenow]

How old is too old?

Jung Jaehyun x reader // SMUT, SMUT, angst, fluff

Themes: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, please I’m begging you don’t read my works if you’re not comfortable.

Word count: 5k

Summary: Jaehyun was your father’s best friend and life has it’s own twist of reuniting you again. 

Warnings: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, BOTH LEGAL AGE, sex, sex, sex, over stimulation, choking, slapping, dom Jaehyun, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols, swearing,  unprotected sex, rough sex, filthy sex, sad ending, Jaehyun is Johnny’s best friend, Johnny is your dad do the math. Mentions of alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, sad ending

A/N: I did this in one sitting. This is only a made up story and theres no way in hell that this is true. If something about the warning doesn’t sit well on you please don’t read. I would like to thank the anon who pointed out the sensitive topic. I already deleted some parts and edited the fic. Again thank you, and I will be better next time. For the first 200+ readers, I’m sorry if the fic was carrying something sensitive and I was clueless about it but after consulting with some of my fellow writers, I think the edited version of this fic is now safer. Thank you! And if the concept is still sensitive you can message me again I’ll be happy to delete it. 

Have you ever seen someone so dreamy and handsome that he sparkles every time he’s around? Or whenever he’s around he just lights up the whole room with his smile. He’s like an angel or a saint that walks among us. Mr. Jaehyun or Mr. Jae, as you call him, is the epitome of that description.

Same birthday, different age. 

Years later

“Good morning princess, happy birthday”

The sun is hitting your eyes and you put an arm on your head, not minding the person kissing your exposed thighs. Yuta has been your fuck buddy ever since the day you’ve been introduced to sex. He was your first at everything, but you two never had the guts to take your relationship to the next level. Nonetheless, you’re both still scared to lose each other.

“See you tonight?” you said weakly, admiring Yuta’s angelic features under the bright natural light that comes in your room perfectly.

“Definitely” he kissed your cheek and flopped on top of your naked body, “Don’t forget to clean up well, I came almost five times inside you last night,” he said before he kisses you one last time and leaves you to enjoy your morning.

On your way to the dining room, every one that crosses your path greets you good morning and happy birthday. You respond with a smile and ‘thank you’ as you continue to walk, everyone seems busy for the dinner party tonight.

On the long table, you found your mother and father having coffee and reading the newspapers. “Morning” you greet the before you sit.

“Happy Valentine's day” Johnny, your father, teases you as he folds the newspaper. You roll your eyes at him at let out a small laugh, “You’ll love my surprise for you tonight” he added, chewing his toast with strawberry jam on it.

“Another car? Oh, wait. Did you bought me a whole Chanel boutique already?” you tease your father, even though he perfectly knew you hate material gifts.

“Oh no. You’ll like this one” he smirks at you and stood up to give you a kiss on the forehead, “happy birthday, I’ll be back before dinner and before the guests arrived. Just have to handle a few things at the office”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to buy me a private plane” you tease him again and left you with your mother to enjoy breakfast together.

Living with fame and money all your life didn’t make you a spoiled daughter, or a big spender like your dad. You’re always about the simple things in life that give you genuine happiness, it’s always the people around you are showering you with expensive gifts that you’re grateful for but to be honest, you don’t need it. Family, career, and love. Those are the most important things in your life. But about love, you’re not sure yet.  

During the family dinner, as usual, the house is packed with family, family friends, and some people at work. Champagnes everywhere, people chatting about business or whatnot, families catching up, and friends reuniting.

“Where is dad?” you asked your mother, Seulgi while you wait for both your father and Yuta to arrive. You’re not blowing your birthday candles without your dad.

As you chat with other people and enjoy your celebration, your ears rang when you heard people exclaiming that Johnny has arrived. You walked to the entrance to greet your father, and to your surprise… Jaehyun is with him. Handsome as ever as if those years of not seeing each other didn’t make him age.

“You remember Jaehyun right?” your father introduced you to Jaehyun like one of his business partners, but Jaehyun is more than that.

“Mr. Jae, you’re back- is he, the gift that you’ve been telling me?” the question was directed to Johnny but your eyes are glued to Jaehyun, shaking his hands still.

“You’ve grown so much!” Jaehyun knew it was wrong to scan your hot body but he couldn’t resist. He’s good at hiding it.

Seeing Jaehyun right before your eyes made you feel things that you are not supposed to be feeling. He’s not your uncle, you don’t share the same blood, he’s just one of your dad’s business partners. The lust that you felt the moment you saw him scan your body felt so wrong but good at the same time. How can Mr. Jae do this to you?

As the night became more and more interesting, you and Jaehyun spent hours and hours talking and catching up. You have completely forgotten about your other guests, you just want to talk to Jaehyun the whole night.

He hasn’t changed a bit, the only thing that changed in his life is his steady career. The business in Connecticut made him filthy rich because he put his whole life on managing it. He apologised for leaving you and not saying goodbye, “to be honest I’m happy I didn’t see you before I leave, I knew you would be sad and I couldn’t bear seeing you like that. How are you?”

“The same sweet girl that you left, Mr. Jae” you just flirted and you hope he will just shrug it off. “Managing my own business now, I could live alone already but I’m too attached with my parents-“

“Hey, princess” Yuta came out of nowhere and interrupt you mid-sentence. He kissed you on the cheek, enough to make Jaehyun think that he’s your boyfriend or someone who has your heart. “Didn’t get to spend some time with you tonight, but it’s fine. I left your present on top of your bed, I hope you like it”

Jaehyun was watching attentively the whole time you and Yuta were talking, and after Yuta left you noticed that Jaehyun was smirking while he drinks his wine. “Now, I’m perfectly convinced that you’ve grown. He’s not your fiancé or anything right?”

“No no.” you shook your head nervously, “Just someone, who can provide my sexual needs” you added confidently letting him know that, yes you’re an adult now.

The catching up with Jaehyun continues, but soon your birthday ends and everyone needed to go home. Jaehyun kissed you on the cheek and told you that he was so happy to be reunited with you again.

“Oh, Mr. Jae” you blurted out before he gets in his car, “Happy birthday”

Jaehyun smiled so sweetly, heart-pounding, ear turning red because he’s so happy that you remember. “Happy birthday to us”

Weeks after your birthday, you decided to live separately with your parents and move out of the mansion. Johnny was sad about it, but he clearly knows sooner or later he needed to let go of you. While you were putting your stuff and organizing some of your things, someone knocked at your door but you’re hands are full you couldn’t open the door for them. “Come in, it’s open. Sorry, my hands are full” You were inside your walk-in closet, putting your shoes inside boxes and you wonder who it might be.

“Thought I should say hi to you. Your father is busy taking important calls” Jaehyun explained. 

For a moment, you and Jaehyun chatted and exchanged questions. He asked you what made you change your mind about living on your own, you asked what's his business with your dad lately. Both gave interesting answers until the room became silent as you go back to packing your stuff.

He watches you put your things on boxes, but your Victoria’s Secret satin sleepwear catches his attention. Those thin shorts that expose your butt cheeks whenever you bend over, thin sleeveless top that he oh so wanted to remove, the way your nipples ghost on your thin satin sexy top makes him want to pinch your nipples until you’re whimpering.

You don’t know what he needs, but you feel his breath on your nape. His presence is not easy to avoid when he’s directly behind you and awfully close. “Mr. Jae, do you need something else?” You clear your throat before reaching something but he stopped you from moving. He turned you around and his hands are quick to hold your ass, squeezing them gently with both hands, your body relaxes against his chest but your heart is pounding.

“Put your leg around my waist” it was a stern tone that made you follow without hesitation. He put you on the nearest wall and pinned you the there, his hands are busy removing your shorts and panties. Once you’re naked waist down, he unbuckles his belt and released his thick, veiny cock. The place was dead silent and you couldn’t talk because you can’t believe what’s happening. He kissed you on the cheek before pushing in halfway.

It hurt. But he didn’t care.

He pulls out again only to push right back in a little harder than before. You closed your eyes because it fucking hurts but it felt so good that you part your lips and rolled your head back.

After a few pleasurable thrusts that stretched your walls good, he stopped. The goal was not to have sex and had an amazing orgasm then and there. Jaehyun was testing the waters if you’re up to doing something stupid with him. His main goal for putting his cock inside you was not to give you an orgasm but to let you know that letting him fuck you someday will fucking feel good.

“If you want this to happen again, go to my place tonight. I’ll text you the address” he went down to get your shorts and panties on the floor and helped you wear it. He buckled his belt in front of you without taking his eyes off of you.

Jaehyun left you in your room with a confused mind. Questions over questions but you do know one thing, he will surely see you in his place tonight. And because of that, you finished putting your stuff and took a long bath on the tub. Making sure that every part of your body smells like lavender.

The thought of Jaehyun being your father’s best friend doesn’t sit well on you but the urge and the want of being fucked by Jaehyun lurks in your mind. What’s so wrong about having sex with Jaehyun anyway? Yes, he’s older but you’re an adult too.

As you drive to Jaehyun’s house for the first time, you try not to think about the people who will get mad if they know about this stupid thing that you’re about to do. Jaehyun’s house location is so far from the city, away from every chaos you could think of. As expected, his house is big and well guarded. But it feels cold and lonely.

“You live alone? Mr. Jae?” you asked when you got out of the car, Jaehyun welcoming you with a hug. He looks comfortable in his house clothes, slippers and all.

“Yes. My helpers come and go every weekend to clean the house. How was the drive?” He put an arm around your waist before he opens the door and enter his house, it was beautiful inside. A Chet Baker song was playing somewhere around the house, and it smells good. “I cooked dinner, I hope you’re starving”

You thought that once you stepped foot in his house, he will bring you straight to his room and have sex with you because it’s always like that with Yuta but you’re wrong. He made you dinner and the set up is kind of romantic. The food that he cooked is delicious it made you feel like you were eating somewhere expensive.

And just after dinner and two bottles of wine ago, you two catch up some more. You caught yourself laughing at his stories, giggling when he flirts with you, smiling whenever he looks at you deeply. Then it hit you, maybe he’s just shy to admit that he likes you and that his true purpose is to date you not just fuck you.

“What I did earlier is rather bold and wrong, I’m-“

“It’s okay, Mr. Jae. I’m here, it happened already” he smiled as you sip on your wine.

“Please, call me Jaehyun” he smiled back to you.

When the two of you grew tired of catching up already, finally he brought you to his room. He left you for a minute to lurk around and all you felt was loneliness. The room felt lonely, his entire house too and you’re not stupid to know why you’re here. It’s clear that Jaehyun is lonely in his life even though he has all the money in the world.

“Where are you?” you feel his lips on your neck. Maybe he noticed that you were spacing out. But again, Jaehyun is close to your body just like earlier and it brought you back to reality. You can feel the warmth of his body that you oh so crave, his soft lips that you want to kiss and taste. He turned your body around to face him and just like that he kissed you softly as if he just read your mind.

“Is it weird?” that an older man is kissing you right now? 

“No. Not at all, do it again?” you confidently requested, and he happily did it again. Arms around Jaehyun’s neck, kissing each other like everything is right, your fingers go through his soft hair. Every moan that comes from your mouth goes straight to his cock making it twitch and want to be inside you.

He sat you down on the edge of his bed and went in between your legs, removing your laced panties slowly. Dress all wrinkled and just above your thighs, straps already fell off your shoulders making you looked ruined already.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he said while removing his pants together with his expensive underwear. What’s about to happen is, Jaehyun will fuck on the edge of his bed. He pushed inside you again for the second time today without foreplay, rolling hips slowly making you see how lustful he is.

He was so concentrated on fucking you, but he leaned down for a kiss and pull away again so he can see his cock go in and out of your pussy. Jaehyun’s deep grunts and moans are like music to your eyes while yours are like an achievement for him. Hearing you moan because of him feeds his pride and he loves it.

“That Nakamoto guy you’ve been having sex with didn’t fucked you enough” he informs you confidently with a sly smirk on his face. You were so sensitive by this time, both legs folded and clipped on the edge of the bed giving Jaehyun more access to your cunt, explore angles as he pleases. You wanted to close your legs so bad, but it feels so damn good you force yourself to keep your legs open for him.

“Spread your folds for me” you followed and you let him flick his thumb up and down your slit while he fucks you still, putting pressure on his finger and putting his whole cock inside you.

“Too much,” you said weakly, out of breath, gasping so hard.

“And that’s what makes it feel good, enjoy it.” by this time you don’t know what made you cum so hard, his sexy voice, his cock inside you, or his fingers. The orgasm Jaehyun gave wasn’t something Yuta can easily deliver and you hate that you’re comparing them with each other. You close your legs and shiver on the mattress, feeling your pussy tingle even tho Jaehyun pulled out already.

“Good?” he leaned down on you again and kissed your lips, your neck, your face while you two crawl up to the bed and lay comfortably with the pillows. The kiss was full of hunger and lust as if he’s not letting you rest even just for a minute after making you cum for the first time. It was so intense that you’re high isn’t going away and you can feel him line his cock again while he distracts you with his hungry kisses.

“Jaehyun, I need to breathe” he chuckles and gave your request. He used the time to remove his shirt and get you naked before positioning himself again in between your legs that you refuse to open, “Baby, don’t make me open those legs for you” it wasn’t a threat, but it made you scared even tho he was kissing your neck the whole time he was talking.

His beautiful body is on top of you as you slowly open your legs again for him, he tickled your sides and it made you giggle. “Y/n, relax why are you so tensed?” Jaehyun’s arms are perfectly wrapped around your body and it’s making you blush and shy because it’s such an intimate position, the kind of sex position married couples use.

“I’m not tensed, it’s just everything feels new and were so close-“

“Get used to it then” he proceeds to kiss your neck and make you calm using his lips, he was still embracing you and you doubt that he’s going to pull away any second. “Ready?” he asked, rolling his hips a little and you nod your head ‘yes’.

There’s that stinging stretch again because of Jaehyun’s cock that makes your mouth open and your eyes closed. Your embrace to Jaehyun tightens while he thrust in and out of you slowly, but not for long. His thrusts became hammering pounds, that your head hit his headboard already but no one cares, it feels good. “Harder Jae, harder” it was a breathy tone that Jaehyun loved.

You can’t believe that those hard and piercing thrusts can make you both cum in no time and as expected, Jaehyun is wild. “Jae” you call out his name but he chose not to listen.

Tears on your eyes started to fall because of the overstimulation but the man above you sill hasn’t stopped, deep inside you don’t want him either. Jaehyun was the kind of man who will not stop even though your cunt is overflowing with his cum, he overstimulated you, he overstimulated himself. And just like that you both cum again, moaning as loud as you can because you perfectly knew no one can hear you.

That night, you’ve been fucked far too many times in ways you’ve never been fucked before. Every round was more intense than the last one, you never felt so thankful to whoever invented birth control pills because you’re damn sure than Jaehyun can get you pregnant.

You don’t know how, but you somehow passed out and you woke up clean and covered with Jaehyun’s thick duvet. He wasn’t beside you, so you forced yourself to go up and wear his black shirt as cover to your naked body and went outside his room. The house was so big that you don’t know where to start finding him, good thing you found him sitting on one of his couches facing the lit pool outside with a glass of wine on his hand. Body still exposed but he’s wearing a clean Calvin Klein boxers briefs now.

“Why are you sitting so far away from me, come sit on my lap” the invitation made you smile and you walked slowly towards him and sat on his lap as requested. “I'm sorry that I had to drag you into this mess. I’m too old to find someone that will love me genuinely, that’s why I find people who can satisfy my sexual needs”

See, you’re right. He’s lonely. And he got the idea of making you a target for his needs because he knew about you and Yuta being fuck buddies during that time on your birthday. “Oh, so that gave you an idea, huh” you smirk, and raked his hair away from his face.

“Yeah. I'm sorry”

“No don’t be. Clearly, I loved everything that happened tonight the moment I stepped right in”

“How about your man friend, Nakamoto. Will he be okay about you fucking other people? Older people?” he took a sip on his wine, leaning comfortably on his expensive couch giving you a perfect view of his hot body.

“You may be old but you fuck like a horny teenager. Yuta doesn’t need to know” the conversation is getting serious.

“Good because, what we have, what happened should stay between us. It will ruin my career, my job, my friendship with Johnny, my relationship with you”

Ouch. That hurt you. “So you’re my second fuck buddy now?” how can you even think that he likes you and that what just happened in his bed was not just because he’s lonely. How can you think that he longs for you, need you? You scoffed and tried to get out of his lap but he’s quick to grab you and put his hands on your thighs.  

“No no, I didn’t mean it that way. We’re together. We’re together as we can be, but we can’t go public until we found a solution. Okay? Don’t frown, please. My heart can’t bear to see you sad or disappointed”

“Okay, I’m sorry I overreacted”

“Let's sleep?” you nod your head with a smile and just like that he left his glass of wine on the table near the couch and carried you back effortlessly in his room. You will never forget this moment that you two slept in one bed. Back against his chest, arms around your waist, the air that comes out from his nose hits your nape perfectly like a reminder that he’s close to you.

Days went on and on like this until it turned into weeks then months. Jaehyun didn’t feel lonely in his house big house anymore, and your life is complete now because you found love. He helped you designed your apartment but you never stayed there because you live in Jaehyun’s now with him.

You and Jaehyun go on to dates like a normal couple but with utmost caution. Spending beautiful nights under the stars, celebrating holidays together, going on vacation. You and Jaehyun plan a lot for the future, and it makes you happy because you have something to look forward to.  

As you live with Jaehyun, you became the woman of the house who managed everything even the expenses. Everything was transparent between you and Jaehyun, ‘what’s mine is yours’ as he described it. It was like a trial to married life with Jaehyun, and you’re loving it so far. A perfect love story and no one is reckless enough so not a single soul suspects your relationship.

“My business partners are giving me a headache” he complains as soon he enters your shared room and kissed you. He smelled like car air freshener and he looked like he had a rough day.

You continue reading your book and reply to some of your clients through email on the side while you wait for Jaehyun to come to bed with you. Focused and unbothered, you didn’t feel him kiss your legs as he crawls on the bed shirtless and only wearing hid pajamas.

“Can we have sex? Make my day better please” he asks so sweetly in between kissing you on your neck, your book is long forgotten.

“Thought you were tired?” you caressed his flawless back, feeling his back muscles on your hand, he only shook his head and kissed you down until you reach the fluffy pillows. Swiftly he unbuttons your sleepwear, revealing your boobs that he soon attacked with kisses and love bites. You managed to get him naked and he managed to remove your thin shorts and underwear.

He checked your slit and you were a little dry, so he went down between your legs and spit on your cunt. Filthy but hot. Whenever you have sex with your boyfriend, his cock still stretches your cunt like he’s getting bigger and bigger each day. You never get used to is. You let out a soft ‘ouch’ and Jaehyun heard it, “Yes that’s right. Hurt for me baby”

“I’m not tight you’re fucking big Jae. You’re not even hard enough and yet-fuck!” he interrupted you with a piercing thrust mid-sentence. “Why do you always do that” you whine, he just smirked and continue fucking you wild.

Whenever Jaehyun is stressed like this the sex is always rough and wild, and you love it. He pulls away from kissing your swollen boobs and put a hand around your neck choking you well. His other hand is intertwined yours so whenever it’s too much you can always tell him to stop. But it was never too much for you. The overstimulation, yes. But his roughness, never. “Harder,” you request in between short breaths.

You smiled at him before you cum, eyes rolling back as usual. He pulls out slapped your cunt while you’re still sensitive and shivering, enjoying the view of his beloved girlfriend whimpering on the bed. “Why is fucking you one time is always not enough. We always have to go for a few more rounds. I’m so in love with you” He grabs both of your hands and put it around his neck, “Keep me close Y/n, I love you” he said before going inside you again to fuck you a little bit softer, gentler, and slower.

Having slow sex with Jaehyun is as good as having rough sex with him. “Does it still hurt? I’m sorry” but he still thrusts and puts his entire cock inside you making a bulge on your stomach.

“Fuck I forgot, pull out when you cum okay? I forgot to take my pill this week. Sorry” it was something that didn’t scare Jaehyun. Having kids with you is something he dreamed of happening and he’s ready for it.

“I want to have kids with you” he sounded serious but you’re not on the right mind right now to tell him your answer. You want it too, but you’re not yet ready. You still have so much to unlock in your life. If he pulls out, that will give you relief. But if he doesn't, well, you can just hope that you won’t get pregnant.

After a few thrust,

He pulled out.

What a relief.

That night, Jaehyun stayed in bed a little late just looking at your beautiful face under the nice moonlight shining through his window. He will ask you to marry him and live a normal life, he will face Johnny and handle the situation in his own hands. He will do everything in his power to give you a happy life without hiding from the people who will judge your relationship.

The next day, you woke him up with loving kisses just how he wants it. Jaehyun lived almost half of his life waking up alone in a cold bed, but now that you’re part of his life, he gets to enjoy waking up from your kisses and waking up with a dimpled smile.

“Good morning, you’re up early,” he said groggily but with a smile.

“See you tonight at the party? I have to leave early and take care of some stuff at the office”

He nods his head and forced himself to sit up and give a kiss. A little longer than you expected, but always sweeter than yesterday’s kiss. “I love you. Find me later okay?” you nod your head ‘yes’ and kissed some more.

The annual business party that your dad threw for his company is a big event for him, nonetheless, it’s not stressful just full of people wearing tuxedos, gentlemen with their wives, your dad’s business partners together with their secretaries.

Wearing a beautiful Valentino dress, you walk to the entrance with Yuta hoping that your boyfriend will not get mad because this was just a last-minute thing. Yuta came out of nowhere before you enter the party, and you didn’t want to shoo him away because it will hurt his feelings. After all, you two had a history.

Seated on the same table, you and Yuta, your father and mother, Jaehyun, and his date Yeri. As part of hiding, you and Jaehyun didn’t talk too much but he did tell you you’re beautiful in front of your father and complimented the necklace that you’re wearing which he gave you. Seeing Yeri near your boyfriend hurt you like you two just broken up. Like you and Yuta, Jaehyun and Yeri had a history because they’re ex-lovers.

“Come dance with me” Yuta being the music lover that he is dragged you into the dance floor and made you dance with him. You feel Jaehyun’s eyes follow you even though you were busy dancing under the upbeat music and having fun with Yuta on the dance floor together with the other guests.

Jaehyun on the other hand invited Johnny to smoke tobacco with him. Men with tobaccos stayed in a room where they can play poker peacefully and talk more about business. This is the perfect time Jaehyun thought. The perfect time to tell Johnny about his relationship with you. Seeing you with Yuta was like the push he has been waiting for and now, he’s going to do it.

“Johnny, I love your daughter” he blurted out, holding his tobacco with his right hand.

Johnny chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, “I know right. Crazy how she was just a little girl, felt like only yesterday. Can’t believe she’s running her own business right now and being successful” he smiled, taking a hit on his tobacco.

“That’s all true, but that’s not what I meant” the atmosphere was quiet even though Jaehyun and Johnny are away from the other men. “Were in love Johnny. We’ve been together for ten beautiful months now”

Johnny was speechless and he wanted to punch Jaehyun on the face right then and there, but this is his party. He can’t cause a scene. Johnny is a powerful man, he can ruin anyone and he’s well aware of that. So instead of causing a scene, he fixed his rings and told Jaehyun that, “You’re a well-established businessman Jaehyun. I think you don’t need me anymore as a partner and… best friend. Stay away from my daughter” he pats Jaehyun on the shoulder and made his way back to the party again to find you.

“Can I dance with my daughter, Yuta?” your father smiled at you and took you dancing. You saw Jaehyun sit beside Yeri, smiling so beautifully and making each other smile. “Oh look at my best friend, I’m happy they got back together” it was a lie that Johnny had to made up to ruin your relationship with Jaehyun and also his way to find out if Jaehyun is telling the truth.

Johnny saw the sadness in your eyes, that’s when he confirmed it. “How about you? Yuta looks like a fine man who’s been around. Give him a shot? After all, The Suh and Nakamoto company looks good merging” it was clear that he was suggesting you to marry Yuta someday because of business and you hate it. But you smile and joked nonetheless.

“Arranging me for marriage dad?”

“Psh. No. I’m just showing you a choice. Yuta is a good person, comes from a good family, and-“

“And I’m not in love with him” your dad knew he had to shut up.

You thought that the party will not stress you out and you will have a great time but the opposite happened. Now, you just hope that Jaehyun will turn everything around remove the stress away. But no. He was silent when you got home and didn’t welcome you with kisses that you oh so crave by this time. You went separately, of course, he was the first one who got home but he’s still wearing the same clothes he wore from the party when you found him in the living room drinking hard liquor.

The dress is beautiful, but you wanted to get out of it because it reminds you what your father just told you about marrying Yuta. Soon, Jaehyun joined you in your shared walk-in closet but he’s still silent.

“You didn’t tell me you were going with Yuta. Baby, I was hurt. I wanted to dance with you so bad but-“

“You should’ve danced with Yeri” you blurted out. “She was beautiful Jae, you just let her sit in the table all night. Did you even offered to take her home?”

“Why would I do that, we're together” he watches you unzip the beautiful dress and expose yourself in front of him with only the lingerie that you’re wearing. “Okay sorry I was overreacting” he leans on the door, shoulders crossed, and his bow tie is already undone. “But I told Johnny about us earlier”

You were speechless and disappointed, you scoffed and you can’t believe he did that. “Well you look disappointed” Jaehyun was hurt, he thought you would be happy that he finally had the guts to man up and tell your father the truth.

“I am! Because you decided all by yourself. You didn’t talk about this with me. No wonder my father was acting weird”

“What, do you want to hide forever Y/n? I’m doing this for us. Don't you want to get married and have kids someday?” by this time both of your tones towards each other were a little higher than usual.

“I know your intentions Jae, but it's not yet the right time. I want to have a family and kids with you but not now. I’m just starting to build my life. Come on Jae, you sound like you’re proposing to me now“ you still sound disappointed.

He thought that getting married will make you happy, but now it’s clear to him that he’s wrong. “Maybe I am”

“Well, then I have to say no for now” that was like a bullet straight to his heart. It was like saying ‘Jaehyun, I can’t marry you because you’re too old. Wait for me to get older, then we’ll talk about marriage’ He ignored what you said.

“Wha did johnny told you?” his eyes were cold, there’s no sign of spark in it.

“He said you were back with, Yeri” you were removing your makeup at the bathroom with only your robe covering your naked body.

“That’s bullshit, my own best friend” Jaehyun sounded irritated you can here drawers closing loudly because clearly, he’s not happy that Johnny bad mouthed him in front of you.

“I know its not true, Jae. He was just saying that because he’s concerned and I don’t know, protecting me?”

“Huh? Protecting you from what Y/n? Were together for almost a year now tell me, am I treating you bad? Can you say that you’re in bad hands?” it was not a question. You knew so you didn’t answer.

This is your first fight with Jaehyun and this is the first night that you shared the bed without facing each other. Tonight he lost his best friend, and he can't afford to lose you too. But he was stern. He still wants to make your relationship public and be engaged soon. He not forcing it but you know he wants it real bad.

If last night you fought for the first time, this morning Jaehyun didn’t feel your kisses woke him up for the first time since you two were together. That simple gesture makes Jaehyun happy first thing in the morning and now that you didn’t do it for the first time, it felt like you’re going to leave him soon.

The same argument went on for days, even you don’t know how to fix this problem but still, life goes on. Jaehyun tried having makeup sex with you but you just let him fuck you and it never fixes things. He was so desperate and he was trying so hard to bring back everything but it was not easy. All he ever wanted was to make you stay in his life. But looks like the relationship is ruined.

Finally, he realized a sad truth. Sooner or later he has to let go of you even though he loves you wholeheartedly. When Jaehyun first mentioned the breakup you were furious and mad, “I’m like this Jaehyun because I don’t know how to fix it but I never wanted to break up! But you! How dare you to even make it an option!” of course you didn’t want to break up with the man you love, being not on the same page for now in the relationship is not enough reason to just throw everything away.

“I can’t give you the life that you want Y/n, we continuously hurt each other every day I can’t hurt you furthermore. We can’t be together anymore” he was so calm and you can’t understand how does he do that.

The perfect love story you thought is now ending with tragedy. How can loving Jaehyun become so wrong? But he was right, sooner or later reality will slap you hard and the truth will not be on your side. Loving Jaehyun was something you will never regret doing, but it was wrong because he was your father’s best friend, you two can’t seem to find your way back to each other now.

As you finally agreed to the breakup, moving out of Jaehyun’s house was a fucking torture. You see to it that you get all your stuff during his working hours so he could enjoy the heartbreak that he singlehandedly decided for the both of you. It was a great relationship that deserved a peaceful breakup.

Jaehyun went home on an empty house and it broke his heart to million pieces. Pictures of you and him scattered around the house and letting go of you is life-changing for him in a bad way. Together with the happy memories that you left in his house is the necklace that he gave and every cute note he gave to you whenever he needed to leave the house before you can even wake up. It’s as if you wanted everything to stay in his house, keep everything hidden like it always has, like you and Jaehyun never happened in the first place.

Jaehyun married Yeri a year after your breakup and the news broke you. Deep inside you were still clinging to the chance of getting back with Jaehyun and turn everything around but you’re wrong. No one knew about your relationship except Johnny. That’s good. You don’t need to explain yourself to people.

As years went by, you decided to build your life with Yuta and love him fiercely without worries, without hiding, you told him about Jaehyun and he didn’t judge you not even a bit. The wedding made the news of two companies merging, and the whole country celebrated.  

Years after your wedding, you were at the record store buying lullabies for babies so you can listen to it and hope that your daughter can hear it. You’re seven months pregnant with Yuta’s baby and you’re excited to be a mother.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice called your name and you’re too scared to turn your back and face him but you don’t have a choice.

And you’re right. You haven’t seen him since the breakup and he was like a ghost to you now. He hasn’t changed a bit. After four years, you’re now in front of Jung Jaehyun with a baby on your belly and a wedding ring on your finger.