#everyone else is probably already done and has long moved on from the first episode lmao

[crownedwille]

Well...how are we feeling about the first 15 minutes?

So much already happened in the first 10 minutes, we're really going right into it.

That conversation between August and his stepdad - ooooh, very interesting what that's gonna mean for August's arc this season

Them making out in Wille's bed - beautiful but too short, how dare they interrupt them!!

All the law talk and the secrets coming out, Linda standing up for her son but also finding out about the drugs, August and Wille at each other's throats - fuckfuckfuck

Kristina having a panic attack?? (is that what it was?) and that little remark about her taking pills...also very interesting

[shutupineedtothink]

It’s about Self-actualization, not Sacrifice

I can’t overstate how much I Do Not Want Agatha to sacrifice herself and/or die at the end of this series, and tbh I’m mad that people are even floating that idea out in the ether.

I don’t care if her sacrificing herself for Billy or anyone else is making a different choice from how she couldn’t save Nicky or stealing witches’ powers, and is therefore “narratively satisfying.” I don’t care if her dying means she gets to be in some kind of eternity with Rio. I don’t care if she was some kind of ghost figure in the comics and we could see her specter in future projects. I do not want Force ghost Agatha.

I want living, breathing, transformed Agatha to come out of this more herself than she ever has been before. Freed from the hold her past and her limiting beliefs and her reputation has had on her for the last several centuries. I want this to be a new beginning of her journey, not the end.

Fortunately, I think Jac and the writers have my back on this. (Please, god)

The journey here on the Road is not about sacrifice. Because a) I don’t believe and have never believed that Agatha actually sacrificed Nicky for the Darkhold. Red herring, it didn’t happen that way. So there’s no narrative reversal to be had there in the first place. And b) the various deaths, the witches’ stories we’ve seen play out so far have not been about Sacrifice either, at least not primarily.

Alice ended up sacrificing her life to save Agatha, but that was not her story in that moment. That was not the narrative we were meant to see.

Alice saving Agatha in that moment was about her stepping into her power, her highest self, the Protection witch she was always meant to be free from the generational curse. Someone who cannot stand by and watch others in pain if she can do something about it. That’s her highest self.

Lilia’s sacrifice wasn’t her true journey either. Her story was about embracing her power, becoming the Traveler, playing out her story in the way she saw and accepting her gifts for what they are (your task is not to control but to see). She too, regained her full power, her full self in that moment, and took out at least five of the Seven with her. She took her power back from the fear that had been holding her for so long, and became the highest version of herself, the Queen of Cups.

Agatha’s journey isn’t about sacrifice either, it never was.

Agatha’s journey, as I’ve said in other posts, is about finding her true self, her true power, unmasking herself from all of the facades she’s worn over the years to protect herself and hide her pain. Answering the question, who IS Agatha, all along? It’s about dealing with her trauma so that she can exist as her true self, and be seen by others as her true self.

We’ll find out in the next couple episodes what that looks like but I can already tell you she’s NOT inherently evil, or inherently good. She is a woman shaped by heartbreak, grief, and sorrow. She has made choices, some bad, some good, and she is capable of making new choices. She is capable of transformation, of peeling away all the false versions of her to find who her truest self is — which I believe, is a leader, a mentor, a guide. The Mother, in many ways.

In that case, sacrificing herself for Billy or the coven or whatever isn’t the play here. It’s teaching Billy (probably, and maybe Jen) what he’s capable of and how to access his true power. It’s the same role she played for Wanda, only this time, when Billy realizes what he’s done (create the Road, probably) she’s going to help him, not fight him for his power. There’s probably also some element of them trusting each other and working together, having seen each other’s true selves.

I’m not going to try to predict the specifics, but my point is that Agatha dying at the end is simply not the move. And if she does, the only way it works is if it’s a dying on the Road to be reborn in the real world type of situation (so everyone else lives too). In which case, fine, I guess, but I still don’t want her to die. I want her to choose life. I think with everything she’s suffered, death is the easy choice. Living and changing and growing and letting people in is much harder.

Besides what an absolute fucking waste it would be of Kathryn Hahn’s talent to just kill off Agatha here and not have her show up later and irritate the shit out of some Avengers.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Production timeline anon back again. Clarifying its one person sending this I guess. Its been a few years since I left the film industry but still have friends in it so keeping it on anon. Also this ended up long and messy so sorry about that.

Writers room starting about three months before filming is a perfectly normal timeline for network television. In recent years a lot of behind the scenes content has mentioned that scripts are done before filming starts, but all that comes from shows made for streaming, or miniseries or shows that work in release schedules that are longer than a year. That is not how network television works (and is closer to the way films do things than regular tv).

To begin with tv shows working on a year long schedule simply dont have the time to do full scripts and pre production before filming. There wouldn't be enough time to finish post production before the season needs to release.

When tv writer rooms officially open it is not to start writing scripts. They spend a good amount of time preparing things before: making sure everyone is on the same page about the story, deciding what the story will be for the new season, making sure they connect plots left open previous season, list all roles that need casting, list locations that need scouting and sets that need to exist, do lots of research. In general they want an outline and lists of everything that will be necessary first.

Only then they start working on scripts. And it is still a while before they have them written. For heavily serialized shows like iwtv writers will start with an outline of where in the story each episode starts and ends. Then break down each episode, do scene outlines, decide what needs to appear in one episode for the next to make sense, basically weave the whole story. Or in the case of iwtv choose which pieces of the puzzle go where. Only then they start writing scripts. Episodes will be split between the writers in a way that spreads out the work among them and plays to their strenghts. Basically episodes get assigned to whoever gets the written by credit but they will still have active support of the rest of the writers room throughout the process.

With 3-4 months between writers room starting and filming starting there is no time to finish full seasons before they film. And thats on purpose because all departments are building on each other's work. For example production design team needs to know what sets and locations are needed. They might know about the important ones early on but not everything. So they will start set design and location scouting for the big ones before writers room but need the season outline to know about everything else. On the other side writers need to know how the spaces will look like before they make certain decisions about scenes. With casting big new roles might be cast in advance but smaller ones need the season outline before casting so that happens in parallel to writers room.

With all that tv shows will start filming with a few scripts, enough to give everyone a headstart on whats being filmed and finish the rest during production.

The other big reason is that tv is a moving thing all through the process. Writers are on set to see if things actually work on camera, and if they don't they will rewrite in the moment, but that creates abutterfly effect on later episodes, so not having everything finished allows them to write considering changes. They will also write knowing what decisions actors are making, how spaces look on camera, what things cant be done within budget, etc. Its just easier to write as they go.

Iwtv has the advantage of working with a full series outline (and we know Rolin Jones has written scenes for future seasons already) so casting for major roles probably happened before writing started. But also we know things like the theater set was being prepared for a fire before those scripts existed so they definitely work in a network tv schedule.

The tldr is filming will definitely start before scripts are ready but that is normal and wont delay the release.

Thank you so much for this (very detailed, love it!!!) explanation and outline!!!

Much appreciated!!

[jailhouserock45]

I still can't get it out of my head.

From what I've gathered and seen through the lovely gifs that everyone shares, I got myself excited for caryl going canon even though I told myself that ship had probably sailed😅

After around season 8-9 I started thinking "huh, maybe they won't do anything about these two people who very much love eachother and have chemistry off the charts, and keep them buddies instead."

And I slowly have been accepting it (ish) over the years...UNTIL....

Daryl got his spinoff.

And even though I haven't watched it, only through gifs, videos, tumblr posts etc etc...(so please correct me if I'm wrong anyone😆) but it REALLY seemed to me that they were finally finding the excuse to make Daryl realize his feelings for Carol this whole time, in turn making him NEED to get back to her and finally do something about it.

From things like the pigeon handler saying "maybe he has a girlfriend? Yes, we all have someone who waits for us somewhere." Then the camera immediately showing Daryl, who looks down in thought as if longing for something...(*cough cough* someone...)

Like, we already know he has DREAMT of going back home, and he has DREAMT of Carol.

Dreaming of her, people...What are we SUPPOSED to think he's thinking?

The pigeon handler even mentioned a girlfriend. That wasn't completely necessary to add but they did. Hmm.

Then I saw a clip of Daryl, (the whole thing probably lasts 2 seconds) glancing at an older couple who are sitting close together, and smiling at eachother.

Daryl observes that, then has that same longing/sad look on his face before moving on.

What on earth? Like I said, I haven't watched it so maybe I'm way off and I need context, but to me that implies he is wanting something like what those older people have... and with who else other than Carol? There is no other person he has been close to...

Then we have a moment of pretty big significance to me.

Daryl was asked if he'd ever been in love....and he HESITATES.

He didn't automatically shake is his head, and let out a gruff "nah" and drop it. He had to think about it.

It's plain to see in his body language that the answer is yes, but he doesn't say anything.

Obviously a person came to his mind, we just don't know who. Why??

If we are supposed to view him as a guy who only wants to go home, WHY are there so many romantic undertones going on? And if there is hints of romance, who would they (the writers) be implying Daryl is thinking about?

We've seen the only woman on his mind is Carol, (hence the dream) and we aren't supposed to put the pieces together??

Ever since the first episode of the spinoff aired, I've been confused and hopeful and excited and then sad and then feeling foolish...the list goes on😂

Like I said before, if this whole time they hadn't been leading up to Canon, and they only wanted to keep Daryl and Carol "sibling-like" besties, they REALLY didn't do a great job at it.

(Or maybe we were supposed to think that Daryl was thinking about Isabelle? If that's the case, they messed up with that too😆)

I'm just an observer so maybe I'm dead wrong about everthing and just hung up on Caryl...that is a possibility I guess lol!

Anywhoo, I'm done blabbing. Bye👋

[im-no-jedi]

alright. it’s finally time. after almost four years, the series that radically changed my life is coming to a close. I’ve seen several other people make posts about this, so I think it’s only fair that I write my own. be warned, this is going to be long, rambly, and only somewhat coherent LOL

when this show was first announced, I was shocked. although I had fallen in love with the Bad Batch during their arc in TCW, I was unsure how an entire show surrounding them could work. I was even more skeptical after I saw the trailers, which had this mysterious child show up. and as I’m sure all of you know by now, my feelings quickly turned around just after the first episode. I immediately was endeared to Omega and looked forward to seeing how the rest of their story played out. by the time the first season had ended, I was already deep in the planning stages of writing out my self-insert series, MLWTBB.

I honestly didn’t expect to love this show as much as I do. but I quickly realized why after the first season ended. (I'm gonna sound like a broken record for some of you, I'm sure LOL)

firstly, the characters. like I said, I loved TBB from the moment we saw them in TCW. and I immediately liked Omega as well. but the way these characters have been portrayed and fleshed out has only endeared them to me more. it became clear to me very quickly that these guys were an eerily similar analogy to my own family. I already saw a lot of myself in Hunter, but the rest of my family are very similar to them as well, even down to certain dynamics between each of them. not only that, but their struggles also mirror my family in that we’ve suffered several losses in our lives too. my mom sobbed like a baby when Kamino was destroyed because she saw similarities between that and a similar loss we’d endured irl. which, for me, is why it hits SO much harder when something bad happens to them. Plan 99 was devastating for many reasons, but for me, because I see so much of my dad in Tech, it felt like I was losing both of them. and having already had struggles with my dad irl… yeah. I feel like these guys ARE my family now, which has been the running theme in MLWTBB. and it's been cathartic both seeing them get through their struggles in the show, as well as portray my own struggles through my writing.

speaking of my writing, this show has inspired me so much creatively, that literally nothing else is comparable. I had already ventured into the realms of digital art previously to watching this show, as well as publicly sharing some of my writing. but not only did my art significantly improve due to all the pieces I was drawing for this show... but my writing skyrocketed. I finished writing a fanfic for the first time since I was FOURTEEN. and I've both written and finished several stories since then. and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. my art and writing will continue to flourish long after this show is over, I'm certain of that 😁

another thing is the real life impact this show has had on me. and honestly, this is the big one.

some of you have been following me for over a year or more now, so you'll probably recall the struggles I've had with my mental health, especially last year. I'd suspected that I had some mental disorder for a while now, but it was only last year that I really began to pursue the idea of getting diagnosed and treated. it of course began in therapy, then moved to having discussions with my parents about it. everyone was very supportive of me, thankfully... except for one person. myself. despite all of the work I'd done to move forward in my life, this was the hurtle I was struggling with the most. the fear of the unknown has always terrified me the most, so this unfamiliar territory was like a nightmare-scape to me.

then "The Crossing" happened.

fandom had headcanoned Tech being autistic for a while previous to this episode, myself included. some even liked to think all of them were neurodivergent in some way, again myself included. so when this episode dropped and we basically got the confirmation that our headcanon was correct? that. that was the push I needed. seeing this character that I love SO much in a show that I love SO much not only confirming his neurodiversity, but embracing it??? I literally told my mom that weekend that I was finally ready to get tested. and the rest is history. I'm now officially a part of the ND gang, and I've never regretted it for one second \o/

not only that... but I'm on meds now. meds that have altered my brain in such a way that I've NEVER felt before. my anxiety and depression no longer have a hold on me, and it's all thanks to this show 💙💙💙

and leading into that, the last thing I wanna mention is the connections I've made through this show. my entire family is (mostly) SW fans, so I've always had them to fangirl and discuss SW shows with. but I've missed having friends outside of the family to connect with. it's been YEARS since I've been involved in a fandom that had such a lovely group of people. and I know what some of you might say. and you're right. of course there's toxicity, just like any other fandom. but I can honestly say, I haven't met such a welcoming and friendly group of individuals as I have with this fandom. I've made some real, true, long-lasting friendships because of this show, and I'll be forever grateful for that. do the meds help? absolutely. but remember, I never would've even been on meds rn if not for this show either!!

and on that note, I just wanna call out some of the lovely people I've met, some whom I've only gotten to know recently! 🥰

@photogirl894 my beloved Morgan, my little sis, the Omega to my Hunter. you've been nothing but a joy and a blessing to me since the day I met you. I truly believe the Lord led you to me so that I could properly start this journey towards recovery and growth. I love you SO much, sweetie, thank you for being you 💙💙💙

@heyclickadee my dear friend, the conductor of the Tech Lives train. I've so appreciated your insight and wisdom in regard to all of the insanity. you genuinely helped get me through my depression after Plan 99, and you've continued to uplift me with your positivity and hopefulness. may we finally get to see our nerd alive and well again in your honor 🙏🏻

@clonethirstingisreal sweet Carol!! fellow Hunter simp!! getting to know you has been nothing short of amazing and wonderful! I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see an older fan amongst the young'ins LOL. we've been able to relate to each other in SO many ways, it still astounds me. I look forward to seeing your journey progress in hopefully similar ways to mine! 🥰

@lightwise @freesia-writes @better-to-bee @probadbatch (spacing this out so y'all get tagged properly)

@jedi-hawkins @anxiouspineapple99 @arctrooper69 @sunshinesdaydream and everyone else I've gotten to know both here and on Discord, THANK YOU!!!! thank you for letting me into your lives and for all the joy and laughs we've had together. I consider you ALL my friends, and I'm blessed to have met you all 💙💙💙💙💙

and finally, because I know she'll berate me if I don't mention her too, my best friend and irl sister @jam-n-ham. gurl, we have been through it, haven't we? you've been the sole witness to my reactions every week, and for that, I apologize LOL. but we have fun, at least, right? 😆 we've spent HOURS talking about this show, and I'm sure we'll have many more hours to come. you've also supported me and my writing, which I'm eternally grateful for (even if you can barely stomach the Hunter romance scenes ROFL). I can't wait to add in your additions to the story, and for you to see what I've been cooking up 😁 thanks for always being my no.1 bestie 🥰🥰🥰

I don't feel like rereading this before posting, so if there's any typos or whatever, oh well. the fact that I even got all of this out tonight is a miracle honestly haha. now if you'll excuse me, I have to start compiling every single box of tissues we own before tomorrow 😝

oh, and one last thing. an addendum if you will. I haven't been posting much of my thoughts about the finale for many reasons, but I'll just say this. ever since "The Return", I've been rotating Hunter's last words to Crosshair in my head, on repeat.

enough said✨

[gacmediadaily]

Summer is almost over, which means the holiday season and festive movies are right around the corner. Personally, I can't wait for GAF, Hallmark and more to premiere their line-up of films on the 2024 TV schedule, and I'm excited to see all the fun pairings that come with them. For example, Candace Cameron Bure is lining up her Christmas movie schedule, and I can't wait to see what she has in store. However, now one Dancing With the Stars pro is throwing his hat in the ring for a future film with her, and I actually kind of need it.

Since Bure moved from Hallmark to GAF, she’s been hard at work, cementing her place at her new network and living her dream of making faith-centered movies. That means she's making sure that GAF’s Christmas lineup, which was just revealed, is filled to the brim. However, after Bure shared the happy news on her Instagram, long-time Dancing with the Stars pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy couldn’t help but ask in the comments if he could be in her next project:

Can I be in the next one?? 🙋🏻‍♂️

I never pictured Chmerkovskiy doing a Christmas movie, but now that he’s expressed interest, I need it. 

Bure competed on Dancing With the Stars in 2014, and while she was not partnered with Chmerkovskiy, it seems like the two have remained close since then. They both made it to the end of the season, with Chmerkovskiy coming in first with Meryl Davis and Bure in third with Mark Ballas. 

Now, if they were to do a film together, it would give them the chance to be dance partners, assuming said project would be centered around dancing.

It should also be pointed out that while Maksim Chmerkovskiy is a dancer, he can also act. He actually cameoed on Fuller House, appearing in two episodes alongside Candace Cameron Bure. He also was in episodes of Why Women Kill, Chasing Life, General Hospital, and The Exes, among a few others. So, I can see him doing a Christmas movie, and having it be with Bure would be even better.

It's never too early to start thinking about the Christmas slate for next year, even if this year’s hasn’t even started yet. Filming for those movies starts pretty early, so it’s likely ideas are already being thrown around the writers’ room. Since the DWTS pro wants to be in the next one, and Bure would probably be down to do it, it’s always a possibility. It might just have to depend on the storyline and schedules, but hopefully, we'll get to see them on screen together!

In the meantime, GAF and Hallmark have plenty of upcoming movies to look forward to, and their holiday schedules are sure to be packed. Bure will be leading two of GAFs Christmas flicks, A Christmas Less Traveled and Home Sweet Christmas. While premiere dates have not been announced, they're sure to bring the holiday cheer.

As for Dancing with the Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy probably won't return, as he told Heavy a few years ago he was done. However, you can watch all the other pros on ABC or with a Hulu subscription when it returns on September 17.

When it comes to this dream movie between the dancer and the holiday movie queen, let's just cross our fingers and hope it happens, because I need it and I think everyone else does too. 

[waheelawhisperer]

Okay gonna post my thoughts on V9E8 now. Took me long enough.

This was certainly an episode.

Oh boy content warning

I’m sure whatever it is will be handled with the tact and sensitivity Rooster Teeth is known for

This episode contains: graphic depictions of suicide, graphic depictions of animal abuse and animal death, violence, blood, and what is obviously someone's fetish.

It also contains the brutal murder of a beloved character's established characterization. Again.

There, I've already done a better job of tagging potentially sensitive content than Rooster Teeth ever has in its entire existence as a company. Not that hard.

Back to first-person perspective. I like this Volume’s willingness to branch out in that regard

Let it all out, Ruby. Love that she’s finally being allowed to show how hurt and bitter she is.

Oh, Ruby, that is not the bridge you want to cross

I think she’s in the Jabberwalker’s acre now, which is the last place she needs to be when she’s alone and upset and Neo is hunting her

Dafuq is this house

Is this a Neo trap or just more weird Ever After shit? Either way, I want Ruby moving as far away from it as possible

Okay it’s a Neo trap probably

I know a little about the Roman/Neo book so I’m guessing the first portrait is Neo and her parents

The second one though lmao girl you are never beating the bottom allegations

You want someone to serve so bad

Bet you’ve got a praise kink too

“What is this?” I fucking wonder, Ruby. Maybe it’s a trap you wandered into.

Okay, Roman’s new voice is… not bad, honestly, and not even bad for him, but it is distinctly different from his old one. It’s not high or nasal or hammy enough, I think. It’s like Qrow’s new voice in that I think it fits him but it’s different enough from the original voice that it bugs me. I would be fine with it if he’d been voiced this way from the start, but now I can’t help hearing the old VA.

Interesting that Neo’s illusions can talk. Not sure if this is the evolution of her Semblance or a property of the Ever After.

Oh now Ruby can whip out Crescent Rose no problem. So much for her previous hesitation. Wonder if her PTSD will get dropped like Yang’s

Nice to see Pyrrha in the new artstyle. Been too long since we heard her voice.

Yeah Roman makes a good point here

Ruby's still having zero trouble wielding Crescent Rose. What a surprise.

Let her fuckin know, Ruby

I feel like this episode kind of wants you to have read the Roman and Neo book, because even the stuff I picked up secondhand made aspects of the episode make more sense

Tree equated with death again:

"Well, if you want me dead, then come get me"

"You don't deserve to die, Red. You deserve to be broken down, torn apart, wiped from existence."

Note that this last part is said just as the leaf lands in the teacup. Neo wants Ruby deader than dead. Gone. Obliterated.

Ruby responds to the attack instinctively and with no hesitation, apparently having fully recovered from that aspect of her struggles in prior episodes.

Nice showmanship Neo, you missed your calling as an actress

So glad Ruby’s at the mercy of a supercharged Neo, no way that can end badly

Once again WBY show no sense of urgency despite knowing that Neo is out there and targeting Ruby and having recently seen Ruby be unable to lift her weapon to defend herself. It's like they've forgotten that stakes exist. You love to see it.

Get a fucking move on you four I’m kind of at the end of my patience with you here

Yang curse count goes up again, and once again it’s “damn it”. At this point she’s cursed more in this Volume than in all her previous appearances put together and I don’t really like this choice. It feels like they want to let her swear properly but are also too afraid to let her cut loose, so they’re splitting the difference and it just feels silly. Either let her cuss for real and fucking commit to the choice or treat her dialogue like everyone else’s and save the profanity for when it has any kind of actual impact like it did in Volumes 5 and 6.

I don’t know Yang maybe she ran away because you all consistently failed to give her the help she needed throughout the Volume, prioritized someone else’s pain over hers, and stood there while Jaune screamed at her. Then you specifically acted like she was a threat to Bland instead of reaching out to her. Great way to be the emotionally intelligent overprotective big sister you’ve been for the rest of the show, 10/10. I guess now that there’s nothing left of your girlfriend to massacre, the writers have started in on you.

Character Assassination: The Volume.

She tried to talk to you, Yang, but circumstances kept interrupting and then you all both failed to push hard enough when you did have time and then focused on Jaune the moment she actually managed to express her feelings

Thank you, Weiss, for being the only intelligent person in this entire season’s fucking cast. You have officially been the best character of this Volume for a while now.

Goddamn Neo’s really tearing into Ruby’s psyche

Not sure how I feel about the choice to skip more or less to Ruby’s Aura breaking. On the one hand, I don’t think we needed to see the actual fight. It’s not what’s important here. On the other hand, this Volume has really not impressed me with the action so far and I would love to have at least one good fight scene out of ten episodes.

"Are you ready for that drink yet?" Just another reminder that Neo thinks that drinking that tea means Ruby fucking dies.

Damn Pyrrha I guess you really can control poles

Too bad you died before you could show that move to Jaune

Why are half these characters here how does Neo even know some of them are dead and why does she think Ruby had anything to do with it

Literally why are Clover and Lionheart even here

Someone on this writing team really loves torturing Oscar, Jesus.

Oh great the Cat is back

Ruby says “I don’t want to be me anymore”. Yikes

What the fuck is the Cat doing hasn’t Ruby suffered enough

“I’ve been trying to wear you down for so long” you’ve known her for like 3 days dipshit don't act like this is the work of years I know your attention span is short but come on

Yeah anyone with a brain could’ve guessed you haven’t been entirely honest you’ve been giving off bad vibes since day one

Okay yeah the Gods remain dicks who casually break people and throw them away, what else is new

GET THEIR ASS LITTLE THIS IS YOUR ONE USEFUL MOMENT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE BABY

Lmao get wrecked Cat you just got finessed

Wow. Okay. That was a moment. RIP Little you would be missed if you hadn’t been both useless and annoying as fuck throughout the entire Volume but since you were I don’t really feel anything here beyond surprise that the writers would go there. If you want me to feel sad at Little’s death, give me a reason to have an emotional attachment to them to begin with. As it is, I’m just waiting to see what Ruby’s response is. That’s the only part that matters to me.

So there are two possibilities: either this breaks her utterly, or this reignites her resolve and she goes HAM on Neo’s ass. My guess is that we go with option one, that seems to be what this Volume is building toward and it’s too early for her to recover fully.

Okay, yeah, we went there. The main character just killed herself on-screen. Fantastic. What the actual fuck is with these writers and their obsession with suicide?

Also this scene was horrendously executed but I’ll talk about that in a sec

Sorry Neo I don’t care about your mental turmoil oh boo hoo revenge feels empty and now you don’t know what to do with yourself now that you’ve accomplished all your goals. Too bad, so sad, guess you should’ve tried being less of a cunt

Everyone just stands there fucking staring. Lovely.

What the fuck does that even mean, Cat? Who writes this dialogue? It has not been on point this Volume.

Weiss gets ragdolled again lmao this is her purpose in the universe

Lmao good work rabbit creature you saved Jaune’s ass. You’re literally the only useful Afteran

Did we really need such an extended closeup of Neo getting reverse vored? Somebody got to animate their fetish this Volume and milked it for all it was worth I swear to God

Jaune’s too late again it’s his most salient trait at this point, but he still gets more points than everyone else in the cast because at least he did more than stand there staring blankly at any point during this scene

Good riddance Neo you weren’t remotely likable and I can’t make myself feel sorry for you. Get fucked.

Well that’s creepy as shit

but I guarantee you someone on the animation team is aroused by this

Anyway oh look RWBY dropped the ball at the end of the episode again, what a surprise

Most of the episode was mediocre as shit but the end was fucking godawful (just like Episode 7)

You love to see it when 4 trained and experienced combatants see their friend and leader lying beaten on the ground with an enemy standing over her and just fucking stare for 20 seconds of screentime while she drinks fucking suicide tea. Make it make sense. Good work guys you’ve kept up your fantastic track record of failing Ruby for the entire Volume.

No thoughts going on in their entire fucking heads for 20 straight seconds of runtime.

Great showing from the woman who reacted in a fraction of a second and moved on instinct to throw herself in the way of an attack an opponent in disguise launched without warning when she was exhausted after fighting for like two straight days

Great showing from the woman who moved so fast to save her partner that she crossed a platform before the comrade that partner sacrificed herself to save had even hit the ground (way to hand more ammunition to the people who say the Bees only care about each other btw)

Great showing by… Weiss, I guess. She's here. She's participating.

Great showing by Jaune too but honestly I don’t expect anything from him at this point anyway so I don’t care. The other three have the capacity to be useful, so I hold them to higher standards.

The fanbase likes to say they couldn’t have known it was suicide tea but literally who gives a fuck, they know Neo wants Ruby dead, Ruby’s on the ground having obviously gotten her ass beat, Neo’s standing triumphantly over her and sure as hell isn’t bandaging her wounds, and any one of Ruby’s teammates could cover that distance in less time than it took Ruby to raise the cup to her lips. All three of Ruby’s teammates knew everything they needed to know to have a reason to defend her. All three of them have canonically demonstrated the ability to cross the distance between their entry point and Ruby/Neo in seconds at most and have made this exact kind of snap decision in combat situations on-screen. Yang should’ve been firing her gauntlets and parking her ass between Ruby and Neo the moment she saw what was going on, not standing there and drooling like she’d been spontaneously lobotomized the moment she walked into Neo’s House of Horrors and Blake and Weiss should’ve been right behind her

Yang has officially been killed. We now have two corpse-puppets being piloted around by foul necromantic magic and pretending to be characters I once knew and loved. I’m assuming Weiss is next somehow, can’t wait to see what travesties they inflict upon her.

This really is Character Assassination: The Volume, I was like 50% joking before but now I’m not joking at all holy shit I genuinely think the writers hate their characters at this point

Either that or they’re so staggeringly incompetent that they don’t even understand their characters

I bet they blame this shit on the animators again

Somebody please teach these bungling assclowns the absolute basics of screenwriting I am begging you on hands and knees how do you work on a show for a decade and still learn nothing how do you have decades of collective experience and still suck this much it defies belief

Really not sure how I feel about having Neo talk through her illusions but I don’t expect Rooster Teeth to give a shit about a character’s disability in any capacity at this point

Overall rating: DEAR GOD THIS IS AWFUL/10

[autumnalwalker]

Hi Sage

Your characters go to a hat shop because for plot reasons they need fancy/silly hats to survive a Situation. What do each of them get?

Oh, this is a fun one! Going to imagine that the Situation is the hypothetical “Attend a fancy party to infiltrate the host’s mansion and discretely liberate something/someone from the host,” episode plot that I’ve been wanting to do as an excuse to put everyone in fancy outfits but haven’t figured out a good place to insert into the timeline yet.

Ashan: He’s long made a point of not wearing a hat as part of his wizard ensemble as a means of stylistic divergence from his mentor whom he otherwise dresses like. Alas, Sullivan has talked him into wearing a suit instead of robes for once in his life (still the same white color scheme), but he doesn’t know how to not Be A Wizard at all times, so he goes all in and compensates for lack of wizardly robes with a pointy hat with a brim half as wide as he is tall. He justifies his selection by pointing out that keeping his face semi-obscured will be beneficial if they’re going to be doing activity that they may not want traced back to them.

Lacuna: Originally planned to go for something tastefully low-key, but after seeing Ashan make his selection goes for the most gothic witch hat she can find. Alterations will need to be though as by this point she finally has a handle on transmutation magic and intends to show up to the party with cat ears. The milliner is both an eccentric and a mage (perhaps a redundant combination of descriptors) and by the time they’re done with the “alterations” the hat Lacuna picked out for herself is no longer so much a hat as it is one of those hat-shaped fascinators that stick to the side of your head.

Eris: After being assured multiple times that violence is going to be actively avoided on this mission, she’s excited to get to wear something other than red for once. Rather than a true hat, she goes with a hooded veil that matches the dress that’s been commissioned for her for the occasion. Taken together with the teal/blue color scheme, the effect whenever she moves is something like watching a swirling pillar of water glide across the room, as if she were some sort of waterfall spirit rather than a human garbed in probably-enchanted cloth. I’ve got the visual comparison between cloth rippling over muscles with water flowing over rocks stuck in my head.

Sullivan: He already has a hat and outfit, so he’s just here to foot the bill and provide commentary on everyone else’s fashion sense. When he gets home he’ll go pull his old tiara out of storage. Not the one he had as a kid - he pawned that one off ages ago when he first ran away from his parents’ castle with Road - but the one his wife, Carnette, gave him as a gag gift after she found out he was technically probably still royalty. Given that he married the most powerful sorceress across multiple worlds, even a joke gift from her is enchanted (probably literally) to hell and back. It’s a gaudy eyesore, made worse by the knowledge that all of the jewels and precious metals used in its construction are completely real and worth more than the most people would ever even dream of making in a dozen lifetimes. He finds it hilarious, and the pleasure he takes in watching people try desperately to keep a straight face and pretend it’s not ugly borders on sadistic. This also, of course, utterly ruins the point of everyone else’s selection of headgear that at least partially obscures their faces, and he absolutely knew it would but said nothing while watching the others pick their hats.

Road: Will be pretending to be a servant/caterer/house staff/etc. to sneak in and thereby avoids the need to purchase a hat. In a pinch though, they can just have their shapeshifting symbiote jacket turn into an outfit with a hat, in which case they would probably just copy the look of one of the other guests’ hats.

[mario8th]

THE FIRST SCREENSHOT

For those not listening along, Media Club Plus opened with a live stream where some of the cast showed Jack a few screenshots from the show. This was the first time they saw anything, it was the first time I saw anything (mostly).

And One Of Those Was The Glass Test! A pointing at the screen moment, a That's Chappy moment! It finally has arrived!

Alternative title:

SCHWING???????!!?!?!!?!!!?!!!!!????

Like from Wayne's World???? Really???????

It took a lot to get here. This arc has been, to me, paced very poorly. I get that the viewer needed to learn about Nen/Magic at some point, but I really wish this knowledge was sprinkled throughout, not delivered through long monologues.

But these episodes, they flew.

It was really funny that the 3 main bad guys from this arc said they shouldn't reat Killua and Gon as regular kids. Why Would You? They're 12 and quickly fought up to level 200? They are so obviously Not Normal, Why Would You Ever Assume So?

Regardless, the fights were really fun to watch! In that they all had one major twist that was entertaining, and then the show moved onto the next.

And the real climax was incredibly satisfying. Of course I knew (rather, intuited) that Gon would punch Hisoka in the face and return the number cards. But that first moment when the music cut out was incredibly tense and exciting. Very well done stuff there. That punch really was the climax of the arc. The next episode was just wrapping up loose ends (y'know, the rest of the fight + the two leaving)

Alternative title:

The Hunter Exams Are Over Actually Truly For Real This Time I Mean It (Probably)

Finally Gon can feel good about being a hunter, and (most) everyone else started to learn about Nen too. Of course its a weird blocker, don't want too many people knowing about Nen. Unless you already knew it going in. Or you watch these fights at the battle arena. But its super secret otherwise.

And I'm excited for Gon to bring his boyfriend over to see his mother figure.

Really solid episodes this time around! Hopefully the rest of the series will keep up this pace

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[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

12/31/2023 – 01/06/2024

Sunday

Ended the year strong by doing absolutely nothing at all.

Monday

I finally got around to watching SpyFam season 2’s finale, and while it was cute and inoffensive, it was also an extremely nothing episode. Bond centric stories are already weak, and this one just dragged on for way too long. The montage at the end doing a “here’s where everyone’s at!” thing was pretty funny – why yes, thank you for reminding me that everyone has ended this season almost exactly where they started. I’m definitely starting to feel a slight fatigue with SpyFam’s stagnation, if that wasn’t already clear. Maybe the mangaka does have an overarching story they want to tell, but right now it really feels like they’re just trying to drag things out for as long as they can… I don’t blame them, because capitalism is a hellscape, but it does make SpyFam ring hollow at times. And I can’t help but think back to that interview they did where they mentioned how they have no real attachment to their characters – it does feel like they tried hard to find a winning popular manga formula, found it, and is now trying to ride the wave for as long as they can. I don’t know, maybe I’m just feeling bitter because I remember being so excited for this series when I first read it, and it’s a little frustrating to see its characters remain the same after so many years.

I watched Kusuriya next, and it had a similarly lowkey episode to round off its first half. That sequence of Maomao running everywhere was so janky and awkward that it made me laugh, but other than that there wasn’t really anything notable. Considering that the latter half is going to be mainly the Outer Palace arc, I’m slightly dreading it, but I’ll try to go in with an open mind.

Hopped onto Dropout and watched the Rick Perry documentary they put out and it’s pretty well done. You can really feel the care that the Dropout crew puts into every one of their productions. I personally would’ve loved to get a more in-depth look at the actual building process, but the documentary is cute for what it is.

Tuesday

Um

Wednesday

We watched some more House, and this batch of episodes was pretty good. I especially liked the one with Michael B. Jordan, it was nice and feel-good while also having plenty of fun Hilson hijinks. In general, the uptick of Hilson storylines has been very welcome. Taub was also a highlight here, having some nice Dad moments with Park and gay moments with the hockey player.

I read the latest Kusuriya manga chapter after that, and while ghost mysteries are my least favourite subgenre of Kusuriya mysteries, learning more about Lishu and seeing her stand up for herself was nice.

Thursday

We’re getting really close…we watched three more episodes of House today, and they were pretty intense. I didn’t care about the patients at all – Wilson’s cancer diagnosis really turns the show and the Hilson dynamic on its head. For the first time, we get to see House actually sacrifice a lot of his time and even his medication to take care of someone else, and all of their interactions in this episode were so charged and wonderfully angsty. The part where House holds Wilson in his arms as Wilson begs him to not let him die in the hospital was so… And then the ending, with House turning Wilson’s painful chemo treatment into a fun memory they could look back on was probably the nicest thing House has ever done for anyone on the show. The Hilson road trip episode after this was also fun…I’m glad we’re getting a lot of ship fodder before the show ends.

DUNGEON MESHI ANIME GOOD!!!!!! I’ve been really looking forward to this ever since it was announced, and I’m so glad to see that it’s as good as I could’ve hoped for. The voice cast is great, especially Kentarou Kumagai…casting him as Laios is such a galaxy brain move because I know him best as Omi from A3! and that one seme from that money lender BL, so in my mind his niche is big heart of gold guys with a tiny bit of edge to them if they’re pushed too far and that makes me INSANE. Because Laios is so nice and cute but also INSANE AND UNHINGED and I really can’t wait to see Kentarou act out some of the later scenes. (And considering that this is Studio Trigger, I’m cautiously optimistic that they’ll adapt the entire manga series). The colors are great, the loose animation is great, Marcille is so fun and pouty and whiny (as she should be) and has a ton of funny faces and noises, and the comedic timing is amazing (that janky close up on Marcille’s withering look was gold). I like the narrator too, and the food porn is top notch. The only small gripe I have is how low-budget the OP animation/direction feels, but if it means that the episodes themselves get more focus then so be it.

Friday

Today’s the day… We finally finished House M. D. All in all, it was a pretty fun show. Lots of deeply stupid and silly storylines and hammy writing, but when it got into House’s flaws as a person and his secret longing for companionship and acceptance, the plot was engaging and genuinely moving. House and Wilson’s relationship has and always will be the star of the show (even outside of ship reasons) because of how they desperately cling to each other despite their respective flaws – their relationship is really a testament to the power of love against all hardship and finding meaning in life and other people despite the pain of being alive. I think it’s probably one of the better medical procedurals out there for the strength of its character writing and their restraint with keeping the show from going completely off the rails (cough Grey’s Anatomy cough). I’ll give it a 6/10 (which is lower than the 8/10 I gave when I first watched it in high school, mostly due to me realizing that a lot of it is kind of stupid). (Shoutout to the scene where Foreman finds House’s medical I.D. propping up his wobbly table and realizes that he’s still alive – that was really cute).

It’s time for Manga…Friday? Undead Unluck is up first, and it’s very cute. It’s so fun to see Julia be much more of a hothead than Juiz was, but you can still some similarities between the two with her iron tenacity. For Fuuko to grow from mentee to mentor is such a fun change. I also loved the little details of Shen telling Mui about the stars and Sean clinging onto Gina when the building comes down.

Oshi no Ko…uh oh! Ruby’s losing herself a little bit! I wonder how far they’ll let her push things for the sake of making this movie.

Jumanji, huh… I’ve never watched it, but Dandadan seems to be paying homage to it pretty heavily. With how much they’ve teased Zuma’s appearance now, I’m expecting his eventual reveal to be pretty spectacular (or comedically underwhelming).

Magilumiere is still at full throttle – for a moment I thought glasses guy was also going to transform, but alas. This battle’s shaping up to be an interesting one, though.

Not Bonney getting her own Ace moment in One Piece… I’m guessing that Saturn’s pincers are poisoned or something, because I can’t really imagine Kuma surviving beyond this arc. But who knows, Oda doesn’t like to kill characters unless absolutely necessary, after all. The little bits of information Saturn dropped were also juicy, though I don’t remember enough about One Piece lore to properly theorize on it.

CIPHER ACADEMY IS SO GOODDDDDDDDDD and god this really does have finale energy, huh… Everyone’s dancing together and doing a million cool and fun poses, Enchan gets an emotional farewell after having accompanied Iroha this far, and then people drop off one by one until we get the full circle moment of Iroha facing against his Class Leading Private rivals again. (I was really hoping we’d learn more about the bear, but okay…) (Also it was super cute seeing Tayutan and Toshusai do a dance pose together, also Tayutan almost calling her Kyorarin???) (Also also seeing the girls who usually have their hair up have it down was super cute…) As Iroha points out, he’s now grown so much that he can actually compete with them head to head… It makes me emotional to think about how far he’s come. Anon betraying her other boygirlfriend Yosaimura was fun (you can always trust her to betray, after all), but then Iroha choosing Toshusai over her is so… Even though Iroha has undeniable chemistry with every girl in his class somehow, it makes sense that he wants to go up against Toshusai in the final battle for the title of Code Emperor. In another full circle moment, he’s fighting against the girl who started this whole journey off in the first place. If this is really the end (though I wouldn’t put it past Nisioisin to troll us again), I think I’d be pretty satisfied. At least it’ll feel like Cipher Academy was allowed to run its natural course and bring its story to a solid conclusion.

Saturday

Oh, it’s Drag Race season again, huh… I’m not like, a superfan of Drag Race, but I do enjoy watching it for the performances and the costumes. And because I’m a nerd with no friends, every season I like to do a little bit of Fantasy Drag Race points counting. I’m not competing against anyone, so it’s more just a test of how good my analytical skills are in predicting who the winner will be from episode one. So far, after watching the Meet the Queens promo and now episode one, Sapphira is definitely my frontrunner for how multitalented she is, and Dawn is also on my roster because I appreciate the weird elfgirl energy that she’s bringing. I think Q will also be a strong competitor, but I won’t put her on my roster. Megami and Nymphia are also on my radar, but I’ll have to see them on next week’s episode before I solidify my picks. The episode itself was pretty standard fare, though I’m curious to see how the immunity mechanic will shake things up. I have to admit that I’m a hermit so I usually don’t know the celebrity guest judges that they bring on, so I had to skip the Charlize Theron section because it was so boring to me. Then the talent show was decent – it seems like everyone’s a dancer this season, so a lot of girls just decided to do an original dance number…but I wish they’d come up with some more unique angles. This is why Q’s puppet number and Sapphira’s opera number stood out so much – if everyone’s serving cunt, it’s easy for your cunt to get lost in the crowd (as Aristotle once said). Runway-wise, I liked Dawn’s monster themed reveals and Q’s bug themed reveals. I was a little disappointed with Sapphira’s look because like…you can say it’s not just a leotard and everything but it still kind of just looks like a leotard. And while the color matching on the breast plate was immaculate and they shimmered really nicely, the boob size was so off… I’m a little worried about her fashion game now, but I still like her personality and energy a lot so I’m gonna keep rooting for her. SDJFKLDFSF NOT SAPPHIRA’S TITTIES BOUNCING ON THE GROUND DURING THE LIP SYNC LMAOOOO The lip sync also demonstrated why I think Q will make it far but not all the way – she’s a great performer in a lot of ways, but at the end of the day the Drag Race meta hinges on lip syncing, and it doesn’t seem like she has a lot of tricks and dips up her sleeve. And even putting dancing ability aside, her face didn’t really sell me on the song either. But let’s see how the rest of the season shakes out.

I read the latest A Second Goodbye to You chapter and I don’t have much to say about it, other than it’s cute seeing kid Hinata venture out to try and solve this conundrum himself. But I guess it’s also a little scary, because he won’t be able to fend off any physical attacks should he get himself in danger…

And it looks like that’s it for 2023’s Week in Reviews! I’m glad that I’ve been able to keep up with posting these – if nothing else, I can expel all the useless but plentiful thoughts I have and empty out my brain to make room for other things. Hopefully 2024 will be another year full of interesting stories.

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

MAN Shigeo has grown.

[WARNING Another long post about Mob Psycho 100. Contains spoilers for s3 of the anime]

In season 1 any small situation was cause for a sudden +30% or more, and any danger immediately overwhelmed him and put him straight to 90%-100%. He was so easy to upset and anger, and we know that's because a. he's a teenage boy, b. he's not like the other kids, and c. he was always subconsciously trying not to feel anything, so as to not cause anyone any trouble. And anyone who has ever done this knows it is absolutely the best road to destruction.

Then in season 2 he started thinking more about himself - his place in the world and what he wanted. Accordingly, his % climbs (though still fast) were smaller, or at least took a longer time before hitting 100%. He had more control over his feelings but was still easily overwhelmed or swayed by the thoughts and feelings of others.

I think something that goes a little unnoticed is that during season 2, when he met Mogami, who was stronger than him and technically won their battle (but technically he gave up to Mob's ideals instead, which definitely impacted Mob's thought process of "I can help people by talking to them" which he never gives up on) - he learned an extremely interesting and unnoticed lesson from the guy; sure, he re-learned that he loves his friends, aw, but also, he learned that he of all people is easy prey to become an evil spirit - I think that's a big reason he spends the whole season considering his own feelings more, enough to argue with Reigen, based on Mogami's story, but I can talk about that in another post or this will get REALLY long. He also met that spirit family and realised some spirits just Live Here, which definitely pushed him to question his ideals on spirits and people blah blah (this happened before meeting Mogami, in case u need the refresh, and once again, I can talk about this in more detail another time).

He also met Suzuki senior in season 2, someone that he felt he could have an equal fight with. He enjoyed the fight, and finally got to have a feel for his powers. For a moment, he stopped ignoring the extent of them, truly feeling his powers out and letting them be destructive, even if only for one battle (the manga readers will understand my deeper meaning that the whole story is literally teaching him how to handle the final arc, anime watchers hold onto your hats - it's Good.) He was grinning and having fun, fighting someone that could match his energy (until he couldn't aha Suzuki senior loser moment) but when he remembered the people who needed him to protect them, he calmed himself down. And he really did!! Underrated Shigeo moment! He remembered his goals and he refocused himself toward them after being carried away by his feelings for much much longer than ever before!! Boss energy!

So in short, he spent the whole of season 2 questioning what his powers really mean to him, how much they are a part of him, and how despite them, he can live as a person just like everyone else. He's discovered that it is possible to be an esper and a person, and he goes into season 3 balancing these two sides of his life much better.

And now we already see in season 3 (there are only 5 episodes so far as of writing this) that Shigeo is not only able to think coherently about how he feels, and able to contemplate on much more complex, abstract thoughts, but he's also consciously able to choose how he wants to express them. He uses his powers in a new way through the season, moving and thinking at the same time, confident in his powers AND the way he wields them (the first instance of his gentle-but-powerful power show was probably during the end of the separation arc tbh, using it on all the cameras and such in front of a big crowd of people - able to show his powers in front of people, knowing with confidence that he's in control of them. Again, I can elaborate later).

And geez, the things he's encountering in this season would have made s1 Shigeo climb to 100% in a heartbeat - Hanazawa earnestly trying to fight him again despite being his close friend; everyone he knows being brainwashed in a way that leaves them intact but makes him their enemy; Dimple trying to push him to fight while also pulling his punches - the complexity of these situations are things s1 Shigeo definitely wouldn't know how to deal with: season 1 mob would be a mess. And WHEW, he would NOT have been able to calmly move past Ritsu getting brainwashed (regardless of Reigen's impact on him, s1 mob would have handled it much worse).

But s3 Shigeo is out there, consciously trying to understand the situations he's encountering, his own feelings, and the complex feelings of those around him, figuring it all out while he's in the moment. The extremely slow incline of 1% at a time again and again throughout this episode (s3e5), is so new to see, but it proves that he's got himself handled, and it's a true testament to his growth! He's in control of his own actions and feelings now, because he knows with confidence that he won't use his powers to hurt people unless he makes the conscious choice to - and he knows when it's appropriate to fight, to talk, and to run. He won't hurt people because he chooses peace.

Man, just, he's grown so much from the boy who was afraid of losing control at any given moment, and I'm really proud of him. That's one cool protagonist.

Side note: I cannot WAIT for the people who haven't read the manga to see what's coming in the rest of the season - it's incredible and I'm already losing my mind with excitement.

[oswildin]

Forgive & Regret {Billy Butcher x SupeF!Reader}

Summary: You’d known Billy for a long time… But you’d kept something big from him. Something you knew would break his trust in you. (Takes place in the last episode of season 1).

Warnings: Swearing (duh), mentions of SA, violence and depictions of a panic attack

A/N: Never written for The Boys before, but in light of the new season coming soon, I thought I’d give it a whirl.

Well… Shit.

Truth be told, you didn’t know how long you would’ve been able to hide it, to keep up the lies. You knew this was the worst thing you could’ve probably hidden from the boys. Especially, Billy. You knew his opinions on Supes. He made them very clear. In fact, almost every other sentence from his mouth was a venom filled comment about them. You could lie and say it didn’t hurt you, but you’d already done enough lying for a lifetime.

“You what?”

Butchers gaze was on you as everyone else turned to look where he has. He was on the phone. You felt your heartbeat quicken as all attention seemingly was on you.

*FLASHBACK*

“William Butcher?”

The man turned, brows furrowed as he stared at person who called to him. The bustling life of the bar around him dissipated as his focus was on the mystery person in front of him.

“Who’s askin’?” He raised a brow, leaning backwards in his seat.

“I’m (Y/N).”

You stared at the man nervously, trying to stand your ground but his gaze was so hard and intense it made you somewhat uneasy. He gave a look as if to say ‘what do you want?’ as you continued.

“I heard you were looking for some info…” You paused. “On Homelander.” Butcher narrowed his eyes as he body checked you up and down, suspicious of your intentions.

“Oh yeah?” He tilted his head slightly. “And what little birdie told you that?”

“Let’s just say you’re quite well known in the underground scene.” You gave him a small smirk, before reaching into your bag. He watched you carefully, ready to attack if necessary, but when you pulled out a file and threw it down on the table in front of him he became more curious. “Thought you may want this. It’s an interesting read.”

Butcher pursed his lips before grabbing the file off the table, opening it up, skimming the first page.

“Homelander is gonna be one tricky son of a bitch to take down.” You told him, finally deciding to take a seat. “He’s got VOUGHT by the balls as much as they do him.” Butcher moved his gaze from the page and back to you.

“And how the fuck did you get your hands on this little number?” He placed the file back onto the table.

“I have my sources.” You shrugged.

“Why are you wantin’ to ’elp me?” He smirked. “What’s the cunt done to ya?” He questioned, raising a brow.

“Why can’t I just offer my services? Not everything has a catch or a reason.” You retorted. “Now, what are you drinking?”

*PRESENT DAY*

“Na, you’ve got that wrong.”

Butcher shook his head, scoffing as he kept his cold stare on you. The boys all looked between each other, clueless as to what was being said on the other end of the call. It was only a few seconds later that the phone dropped from his ear, his hand falling to his side as he narrowed his eyes. You saw it. The rage. You felt frozen.

This couldn’t be happening.

*FLASHBACK*

“Homelander raped Becca.”

The words echoed in your ears as you stared at Billy. You didn’t know what to say. You could see the glossiness of his eyes, he was holding back that sadness from the surface, but you could still see it.

“Not long after that, she disappeared.” He continued, as you just listened. “I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. She was always so happy. Too happy for my likin’ half the fuckin’ time.” He gave a small smile, remembering fond memories. “But then one day-“ He paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Something changed.” You hesitantly reached out, placing a comforting hand on his arm as he composed himself. “I vowed to myself, I would catch the cunt. I would take the fucker down, along with the shitstorm that is VOUGHT.” The rage returned in his eyes.

“We will.” You told him softly. “Billy, we will get Becca her justice.” You said more confidently. “VOUGHT and Homelander will suffer, cause fuck me, I’ve never met anyone as fucking determined as you.” You shook your head. “You’re so determined, that quite frankly, it’s annoying.” You joked as he smirked, turning to finally look at you. “And I’m here with you, to the end.” You smiled at him.

“Fuck me, I’m never getting rid of ya am I?”

You shoved him playfully as he held back a chuckle.

“Dick.”

*PRESENT DAY*

“Butcher?”

M.M asked, watching the man, trying to read the expression on his face. It was a mix of confusion, anger and betrayal. You only knew what that look could mean.

“Well, well, well…” Butcher began, his jaw tense as he slowly stalked towards you. You were currently sat on the motel bed, you didn’t dare to move. You felt like prey, getting ready to be attacked. Everyone watched carefully, eyes flickering between the two of you. Billy eventually stopped in front of you, staring down at you as you tried to steady your breathing. Suddenly, Butcher reached down, grabbing you by your shirt as he hauled you up, pushing you against the wall as you gasped at the impact.

“Woah, woah!” M.M exclaimed, commotion erupting as Hughie had a shocked expression whilst Frenchie looked confused. “Butcher! What the fuck man?!”

You stared into Butchers eyes, your own glossy as you tried to form words but you couldn’t find them. No sound came out from your lips.

*FLASHBACK*

“You never did tell me-“

You turned to look at Billy as you sat in his car.

“What’s your angle?” He asked, raising a brow. “What did those cunts do to ya?”

You sighed, not sure how to answer. You couldn’t tell him the truth. You just couldn’t. So instead-

“Let’s just say I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with VOUGHT.” You began. “I had a minor role in the company. Years ago.” You said softly, unable to meet his gaze, feeling the slight judgement in his stare. “Things transpired, I found out that Americas golden heroes were quite the opposite.” You bit your lip anxiously, awaiting his comment.

“And Homelander?”

You swore a tight smile for a brief second, turning to look out the passenger window as you felt your nostrils flare.

“He didn’t like the fact that I was doing some digging.” You turned back to face the man, as he noted your eyes were slightly glassy in appearance. “Finding out their dirty secrets.” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “He, er,-“ You looked down at your hands, picking at your fingers nervously as Billy seemed to understand before he sighed, feeling anger bubbling within. “I ran.” You laughed slightly, shaking your head. “I ran instead of doing something about it.”

You sat in silence for a moment, the air uneasy.

“Well, you’re doing somethin’ now.” Butcher stated, as you met his gaze. “Like you told me.” He paused, leaning towards you slightly. “We’re gonna take the cunts down.”

*PRESENT DAY*

“Butcher! Will you tell us what the fuck is going on?!” M.M almost demanded,

“You wanna tell em? Or shall I?” Billy didn’t remove his cold stare from you. His grip didn’t falter as you felt emotion over come you. You almost sobbed, but managed to stop yourself.

“Billy… Please.” You finally spoke, your voice small and wavering as he seemed to faulted for a second before his anger came back.

“No, no, no.” He shook his head. “You don’t get to do that.” He told you, teeth gritted. “Boys-“ He breathed out. “We’ve been working with a supe, this whole fuckin’ time.”

*FLASHBACK*

“You know what?”

Billy turned to you, as he saw the playful glint in your eye. He smirked as he awaited whatever comment you had to throw his way.

“You’re one psychotic son of a bitch.” You finished before laughing as he raised his brows in amusement.

“Why, thank you sunshine. I will hold that forever-“ He moved his hand to his chest. “In my heart.” You laughed again at his reaction, shaking your head.

“But-“

“Oh, fuck me, ‘ere we go.”

“But!” You exclaimed, restraining your laugh. “For one psychotic son of a bitch, you’re alright.” You complimented, as he folded his arms over his chest. “You act all…” You pulled a face to try and imitate his own usual hard expression. “But you know what I think? You’re a softie on the inside.”

“Oh yeah?” He raised a brow. “Is that so?” You nodded to his question. “Well, if I ever hear you utter those words again to anyone, even me, I will have to kill ya.” He teased as you stuck your tongue out at him.

*PRESENT DAY*

“What?” M.M asked, seemingly taken back by Butchers words.

You shook your head, whilst trying to hold back tears. You caught Hughies gaze as he gave you a unsure stare. You could see he wanted to help, but he also was unsure whether stepping in would make things worse, especially as he already was in the dog house with Butcher about Annie.

“Hughie, apologise to your little girlfriend for me.” Butcher spat. “It appears we’ve had a little VOUGHT mole this whole fuckin’ time.” You furrowed your brows.

How could he even think that?

“That’s not true!” You exclaimed, shaking your head.

“Then why did you hide the fact you’re one of ‘em!” He shook you slightly as you gasped, as Frenchie stepped forwards.

“Butcher, stop, you are scaring her.” He tried but was cut off.

“Good!” Butcher shouted.

“Maybe we should hear her out?” Hughie offered, wanting to hear your side. You hadn’t known each other long, but all the shit you’d been through as a group brought you close pretty quickly. Butcher reluctantly dropped your shirt out of his hands, as you fell backwards, leaning against the wall, steadying your breaths. He stepped back.

“Well, we’re waitin’.”

*FLASHBACK*

“Where’s (Y/N)?”

M.M turned to Butcher and nodded towards the other room of the safe house.

“She disappeared back there a while ago. Hasn’t come out since.” He shrugged, going back to organising the table that he was sat at.

“She seemed, er, a little off.” Frenchie chimed in, as he sat beside Kimiko. Butcher sauntered towards the back of the safe house, coming to a back room where the door was closed. He listened for a brief moment, but heard nothing, before he knocked on the door. He heard shuffling briefly, and a little commotion as he furrowed his brows.

“Not now!” You called out, but your voice sounded strained. Billy narrowed his eyes, concerned. Without asking, he opened the door, letting himself into the room as he scanned the room, before seeing you pacing, seemingly distressed. “I said not now!” You exclaimed at him, feeling a tightness in your chest. Billy quickly approached you, grabbing you gently with a hand on either side of your arms.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes scanning your features.

“Nothing! Just go!” You tried to shove him away, but he didn’t budge as he started to put together what was happening.

“You’re havin’ a panic attack.” He told you.

“No shit!” You sarcastically replied, as you felt more anxious with his presence so close to you. You just wanted space and to be left alone.

“I need ya to breathe with me, alright?” He looked you in the eye, and although it was a question it came out in more of a command. “Just focus on me.” He began to take deep breaths, as you hesitantly followed suit, trying to get your shaky breaths to match his calm ones. “Alright, in and out.” Again, in and out. “There we go.” He nodded slightly, as you noted he had bent down to be eye level with you. Eventually your breathing returned to normal, as your anxiousness began to slowly fade out. “See, easy as blowing up a supe with an assbomb.” He joked as you let out a breathy laugh. “You had one of these before?” You nodded.

“Yeah, not in a while though.” You admitted.

“Wanna tell me what brought it on?”

You stared at the man in front of you, your eyes boring into his own.

How could you tell him? What would you even say? He was doing this for his wife. He was doing this because of his hate for supes.

“I-Er-“ You stuttered out, shaking your head. “It’s just a lot.” You decided to settle on, as he sighed.

“Come on, we’ve got this far, eh?” He gave you a small smile. “You can’t start lettin’ it all get to you now.” He paused as he straightened his back, now standing straight as he moved one of his hands off your arm, but kept the other put. “We’re too far into this shit to start getting a guilty conscience now.”

Little did he know… your guilty conscience was larger than most.

“I know.” You muttered out, clearing your throat.

Maybe you should just tell him? Don’t let the lie go too far.

“Look, I���m not great with all this soppy shit-“ He waved his spare hand around. “But if you want to talk-“ He tried to get you to open up but you forced a smile and shook your head.

“I’m okay.” You said as confidently as you could. “Look at you.” You began. “What did I say about you being a softie?” Butcher groaned as he immediately took away his hand from your arm.

“Bloody hell!” He shook his head. “What did I say about if you uttered those words again?” He narrowed his eyes, pointing at you.

“Oh, something about having to kill me.” You joked back as he smirked.

“Exactly.” He brought his hand back down.

“Too bad you love me too much.” You teased as he pursed his lips, tutting before turning away from you.

“Alright, alright, come on then, stop your blabbering and let’s go back to work.”

*PRESENT DAY*

“It’s true.”

Everyone stared at you in surprise. The silence in the room was thick and intense. It seemed like no one knew what to quite say or do.

“W-what?” Hughie breathed out.

“I’m one of them.” You told him curtly. “But I did not tell VOUGHT anything. I swear. I want them to burn to the ground as much as you lot do!” You promised, moving a hand to your chest to show it. “I swear on my life.”

“And we’re just meant to believe that are we?” Butcher spat as you pleaded with your eyes. “They found out about us somehow!“

“Well it wasn’t me!” You cried as you let tears fall. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” You breathed out as Billy stared at you. His expression faltered. He didn’t want to admit it, but he hated seeing you upset. Even when you’d done it to yourself.

“So why lie?” He asked. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth!” He exclaimed as you tilted your head slightly.

“Because of this.” You sighed. “Because I knew how you would react. What you would think. How you would think of me.” You explained, looking away from his gaze down to the floor.

“So… you’re a supe?” Frenchie asked. “Like Kimiko?” He furrowed his brows.

“I worked for VOUGHT. That part is true.” You continued, still not looking at Butcher. “They were planning to station me, but the things I witnessed…” You paused, swallowing the lump in your throat. “The things I experienced.” You glanced at Billy, recalling your past conversation with the man. “I ran away. I didn’t want any part of it.”

*FLASHBACK*

“Why do you care so much?!”

“Because you’re all I’ve got!”

Billy and you stood in the street, as things had gotten heated. You were trying to get the man to see reason, but he was stubborn. He was arrogant and infuriating. But you couldn’t help but feel protective of him. You wanted to help him, in any way you could.

“You’re all I’ve got, Billy.” You sighed. “I don’t have a family, or friends.” You bitterly laughed. “But you came along… and the boys.” You gave a small smile. He glanced down at his feet. “And I feel like I belong y’know?” You shrugged. “I feel less like a fucking loser.” You joked, but also the words held some truth.

“Fuck me.” Billy breathed out, turning back to you. “Look, this is just a job.” He told you. “Alright? As soon as it’s done, we all go back to our own little lives.” Your smile started to fade. “So don’t hold onto this little family too much.”

Ouch. You felt a pang of hurt in your chest.

“But I suppose-“

You peered back up at him.

“If you ain’t got nothing better to do after all this shit is done-“ He paused, sighing as you waited for him to finish his sentence. “I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if you tagged along with me.” You felt your smile creep back onto your face. “Someone’s gotta keep me in line.” You instantly jumped at him, wrapping your arms around him as you fought the urge to squeal. “Oof.” He stumbled back slightly as he rolled his eyes at your antics. “Alright, that’s enough of that shit.” He gently shoved you off of him. “I’m really not getting rid of ya am I?”

*PRESENT DAY*

Billy sighed, groaning as he turned to M.M.

“Fucking Mesmer.” He said through gritted teeth. “It has to be him. You just had to go to him!” He exclaimed, as M.M sighed.

“You think he told Homelander?” Hughie asked as Billy turned to him.

“Well if it weren’t (Y/N), then it has to be fuckin’ Mesmer.” He snapped as you furrowed your brows.

“You believe me?” You breathed out, relief filling you, but dread soon set back in as Billy turned back to you.

“Yeah, I believe ya.” He told you, nodding as he stalked towards you. There was silence before he spoke again. “But I want ya gone.” Your heart sank. He gave you one last stare before turning to grab his jacket.

“Butcher!” Frenchie exclaimed.

“Hughie, with me.” Billy ignored Frenchie as he swung open the motel room door, leaving without a second glance. Hughie felt torn. But ultimately he followed Butcher, but turned to you before exiting.

“He doesn’t mean it.” Hughie told you as you let a tear fall down your cheek. “He-He’s just angry.” You gave him a small smile before shrugging.

“I’ve known him long enough to know he means it this time.” You sniffled as Hughie gave you a sympathetic look before leaving after Butcher.

Not long after the pair left, you decided it was best to do as Butcher said. So grabbing your jacket, you exited the motel, ignoring the pleads of Frenchie and M.M. You walked down the road, unsure on where you were going or what you were going to do now. Thoughts were racing in your mind as you stopped walking for a second, before yelling loudly in anger/frustration. Suddenly all the glass that was around you smashed. Car windows, gas station windows, streetlamp bulbs… They all smashed as a shock was sent out from your anger. Deeply breathing you composed yourself, carrying on your walk as you felt worn out and beaten down.

Butcher and Hughie sat in silence in the car, an awkward tension filling the air. Hughie kept glancing at Butcher, trying to get a read on his current state of mind.

“Will you stop fuckin’ staring.”

Butcher told him, not even turning to look at him as Hughie fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“You shouldn’t have told (Y/N) to leave.” Hughie said, as Butcher sighed looking out the window.

“You should be thankful I let her leave.” He told him as Hughie shook his head. “I should’ve done a lot worse.”

“Come on. You don’t really mean that.” Hughie furrowed his brows as Butcher suddenly slammed on the breaks, causing Hughie to groan as his seatbelt winded him.

“Don’t I?” Butcher turned to face him, fury in his eyes. “You might be alright trusting a supe, but I ain’t.” He snarled.

“You trusted (Y/N) before finding out about it!” He argued. “She didn’t tell VOUGHT, she didn’t betray us, so what?” He paused. “Just because she’s a Supe that means she’s bad?”

“Supes are tainted.” Butcher told him. “The only reason I’m letting Frenchie keep his around is cause she’s our key to bringing down the fuckers.” He then pointed at Hughie. “And don’t get me started on you and Starlight.” Hughie narrowed his eyes, scoffing slightly.

“You know-“ He began. “I thought you and (Y/N) were different.” He pulled a confused look. “Yeah, I thought you two would do anything for each other. But you turned your back on her. Just like that.” He clicked his fingers to emphasise. “Butcher, she adores you.” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. Billy raised a brow at Hughie, tilting his head at his words. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“You’re talkin’ out your arse.” Butcher scoffed.

“Am I?” Hughie asked rhetorically. “Cause we can all see it. All of us, except you it seems.”

“I don’t have time for reading between the lines, what are you fuckin’ talkin’ about Hughie?” Billy slammed his hands on the wheel as Hughie stared at him in disbelief.

“(Y/N) clearly loves you!” Hughie exclaimed. He knew it wasn’t his place, but Butcher always managed to press his buttons. Billy looked at him confused before laughing at him.

“You’ve fuckin’ lost the plot.” Butcher told him as Hughie finally snapped.

“For fucks sake Butcher!” Hughie shouted. “She is in love with you!”

*FLASHBACK*

You were stood behind some of the shelving units in Hughie’s work place, watching as Butcher and Translucent battled it out. But you knew Billy was tiring, and the fact he was bleeding made your blood boil. Before you knew it, Translucent had Billy in the air, his hands wrapped around his neck as he struggled to get away. You quickly looked around for something to use against him. Turning to look at one of the TV’s on the wall, you ran towards it, using your hidden strength to pull it from the wall as you huffed out a breath. It had been a while since you used your powers. You made your way behind Translucent as he had no clue you were there. Billy saw you through the supe as he slowly began to lose consciousness. You instantly threw the TV down on Translucent as he dropped Billy from the impact. The supe groaned and swore at the impact as he took a second to recover. You quickly ran to Billy as you tried to help him up.

“You idiot!” You scolded him. “What the fuck where you thinking?”

“I had the cunt!” He replied, coughing slightly as you shook your head.

“Yeah, I just saved your ass. You were a damsel in distress. You’re welcome.”

“Fuck off.”

*PRESENT DAY*

Walking down the road, you had your hands in your pockets as you felt your phone ring. You sighed, pulling it out as you saw it was Hughie calling you. You felt torn, but answered it eventually.

“Hughie?”

“(Y/N)…” He seemed out of breath. “It’s the boys.” He told you as your heart rate increased. “VOUGHT’s got them.”

“Shit. Shit.” You ran a hand through your hair. “Erm, okay okay. Where’s Billy?” You asked, unable to hide your concern.

“He’s gone!” He sighed. “He left to finish the job.” You mentally swore.

“Okay, calm down, we’ll get them back ok, I’m coming back to the Mot-“

But before you could finish your sentence you heard a woosh behind you, and you immediately froze.

“Hughie-“ You cut yourself off, removing the phone from your ear as you slowly turned round, knowing who you were about to come face to face with.

“(Y/N)!”

Your skin crawled at his voice, as you saw the one person you hoped you wouldn’t have to face again in your life.

“Long time no see!”

There he stood. Homelander. That shit eating grin on his face as you felt your heartbeat fasten.

“(Y/N)?” You could hear Hughie calling down the phone.

“What no hello?” Homelander furrowed his brows, his smile staying strong as you fought the urge to lash out, to scratch the smug grin off his lips. “That’s ok.” He waved his hand. “We have plenty of time to catch up.”

Hughie panicked. He knew the voice on the other end of the phone. How could he not? When the line went dead, he quickly went to his contacts, dialling the last person he wanted to talk to, but knew this would hopefully change Butchers mind.

“Fuck off Hughie!”

Butchers voice travelled through the phone as Hughie took a deep breath.

“Homelanders got (Y/N).” He said quickly, before Butcher could hang up.

“What?” He could hear the shock in Butchers voice, and a hint of concern.

“I-Er- I called her and she-she got cut off but I heard him. I heard Homelander.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Yes I’m fucking sure!“ Hughie exclaimed as Butcher swore, hissing in frustration.

“Alright, you get the boys. I’ll get (Y/N).”

“No, no, Butcher- I still need-“ The line went dead. “Your help…” Hughie sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to change Butchers mind.

You began to stir as you groaned, a pain in your side as you slowly began to sit up.

“Ah, you’re awake.”

You grimaced at the voice, fearing the worst as you opened your eyes properly, seeing it was now dark. Feeling your side ache. You couldn’t quite remember what had happened before, you just remembered the phone call…

“Come on, get up! Chop chop!” He clapped his hands next to your ear as you hissed at the sound. Sighing, as he clearly was annoyed at how slowly you were coming round, he grabbed you by your jacket, pulling you up to your feet. Your legs felt like they were still half asleep as you tried to steady yourself. You felt yourself being dragged along as you stumbled, vision slightly blurry as you registered a baby’s murmuring.

Where the fuck were you?

Eventually you were able to sustain your weight on your own legs, as you started to come round a bit more. You tried to get out of his grip, using as much might as you could but he was stronger.

“Ah ah ah.” He tutted disapprovingly, shaking his head as he moved his hand from your jacket to your hair, gripping it from the back as you yelped. “Now, be a good girl and stop struggling.” He said lowly against your ear as you squirmed at his voice being so close to you.

“Fuck. You.” You muttered out as he rolled his eyes.

“Now now, not in front of the baby.” You furrowed your brows, before turning your head very slightly to see he was holding a baby in his other hand.

“What the-“ You whispered. “Homelander, put the baby down.” You told him, worried for the child in his arm.

“Or what?” He chuckled. “Are you gonna make me?” He taunted as he began to walk out the room, pushing you with him, his grip still in your hair. Eventually you made your way down the steps, noticing you were in someone’s home.

“Take it easy.” Homelander spoke, as he rounded the corner into the kitchen space. You felt your breath hitch as you saw Stillwell tied to a chair with an explosive device wrapped around her, but what made your heart stop was the man who not long ago had basically told you he never wanted to see you again.

“Billy.” You unintentionally whispered out as Homelander raised a brow.

“Now, now.” Homelander spoke. “We don't want to upset Teddy, right?” He bounced the child up and down briefly, looking at the baby as you realised it was Stillwells son.

This man had no boundaries.

Billy felt rage bubbling within as he saw how Homelander was holding you. He also noticed your limpness on on one side as he deducted you were hurt. That grade A arsehole.

“What are you doing?” Stillwell asked breathily, worried for her child’s safety.

“You all right?” Homelander asked Stillwell as she sighed, taking a breath.

“No.” She answered before looking at him. “Take him upstairs.”

“All good. I got it.” Homelander gave her his award winning smile. “I got it.” He told her firmly. “Billy Butcher.” Homelander finally turned his attention to the Brit. “You don't mind if I call you Billy, right?” Billy remained calm on the outside. He wouldn’t let Homelander see that slight bit of concern he had for you. “You are pretty darn impressive. I mean, especially for, you know, one of you.” Homelander then decided he’d had enough of holding you, as he threw you forward. You gasped as you hit the floor, hissing as you landed on your sore side. Billy’s eyes flickered down to you subconsciously, as he checked you were ok. Well as ok as you could be.

“See, even now, most people standing where you are would be pissing their pants terrified, but you...” Homelander walked towards him. “Sure, your heart's pounding, but you're not afraid.” He commented, a small smile on his face. “It's anger. That's a new one for me.” He furrowed his brows.

“Homelander, will you please take the baby upstairs?” Stillwell pleaded, but he continued to ignore her.

“All because of your lovely wife Becca. Right?” Homelander narrowed his eyes, sighing. “Okay. Let's cut the bullshit, huh? You know that we...” He paused as you saw Billy tilt his head. “Bro, not my fault, okay? She came on to me. It happens.” He laughed as Billy still kept the stony look on his face. You felt your own anger growing, as he spoke. This man really was an asshole. “You know, it's the fame. They get crushes.” Homelander then turned to wink at you as you almost snarled at his action. “There's nothing I can do about it. But what I will tell you is, she was a hell of a lay.” He grinned, taking a step back to head towards a crib that was in the room. “She came three times, eh? Three times.” He shook his head, knowing he was riling Butcher up. Exactly what he wanted.

He put the baby down in the crib, as Stillwell felt a little bit more ease that Homelander wasn’t holding her son any longer. “But that's not really it. No, no, no. No, it's more than just that.” He rounded back to face Billy once more. “You think I'm responsible for her death, don't you? So now you have a hostage that I care about, right? Someone I love.” He narrowed his eyes, whilst scoffing. “Well, as you English would say… Tit for tat.” Billy tightened his jaw, glancing down at you as you looked at him in return, your eyes full of apologies, sorrow and fear. “Me and (Y/N) go way back also.” He grinned, his hands behind his back. “I suppose once a traitor always a traitor.”

“Fuck you, you asshole.” You hissed out as he laughed.

“Bit of a touchy subject is it?” He raised a brow, turning to look down at you. Billy watched the two of you as he saw the hatred filling your eyes as you stared back at the supe. “Also a touchy subject is the fact, whether you like it or not, you’re one of us.” He told you, smirking. “VOUGHT gave you a gift, and this… this is how you repay us?” He shook his head, tutting.

“A gift?!” You scoffed, pushing yourself to sit up better as you held your side. “This isn’t a gift! It’s a damn curse.” You spat, as Billy watched you closely, listening intently to your words. “VOUGHT doesn’t care about you!” You laughed shaking your head in disbelief. “And as soon as everyone finds out what a psychotic monster you are, they won’t care about you either.” You said lowly, as you saw with each word Homelander grew more and more angry. He lunged forwards, his hand wrapping around your throat as you gasped for air, tears forming in your eyes.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Billy narrowed his eyes, holding up the detonator. “Let her go. Or I’ll blow all our fucking brains out.” He threatened, as Homelander clenched his jaw, taking a moment before he let you go as you gasped for breath, heavily breathing as you coughed slightly.

“So, what's your plan...” Homelander stood back up straight, turning back to Billy. “-from here? What do you want? Do you want a confession, or... What's your endgame?” He questioned, once more standing composed, hands behind his back as if nothing ha can happened. Billy smirked darkly.

“I'm just gonna hurt you.” He paused. “I mean really fucking hurt you, and that will be good enough for me.” He told him, his grip tight on the detonator in his hand.

“So, you don't really want anything, per se? You just... You want to blow her up in front of me. Right?” Homelander questioned, before breathing out, slightly laughing. “Wow, fuck. You are dark, and I kind of like it.” He pointed at Billy, smiling at him.

“Will you please take Teddy upstairs?” Stillwell asked once more as Homelander waved her off.

“Just answer one question for me.” Homelander stared at Billy, taking a step closer. “Just one.How do you know?” He paused, tilting his head. “How do you know? I mean, you must have some rock-solid proof, right?” He pursed his lips. “That it was actually me who killed your wife. You must have that, right? So what is it? Share. We're all very interested.” He gestured his arms out, opening them up. You stared up at Billy, your neck sore as you watched him stay silent. You knew he didn’t have proof. You knew this was all just his theory. “Now's not the time to be strong and silent. Go for it.” Homelander looked confused for a moment before he furrowed his brows. “Are you telling me that this whole thing is based on fucking feelings?” He scoffed. “On a hunch?”

“Take him upstairs!” Stillwell finally exclaimed as Homelander snapped, his calm demeanour disappearing.

“Shut the fuck up!” He shouted, causing you and Stillwell to jump at his voice. Billy hated the way you reacted. He hated the fact you were hurt. He hated the fact you were in this mess because of him. Homelander excused himself from Billy as he wondered over to Stillwell, leaning down to talk to her. You looked up at Billy, silently telling him how sorry you were. All it took was a look and Billy understood. He gave a very small nod as you felt relief fill you.

He understood. Maybe not fully forgiven. But he understood.

You took that, and used it as ammunition. You pushed yourself up, trying to be quiet as you could, wincing silently as you stood. Billy watched you, sending you a warning glance.

‘I’m sorry’ you mouthed to him. Suddenly a familiar sound occurred as you turned to see Homelander, murdering Stillwell, her eyes being burnt in her skull as you gasped, stepping back. Billy stood still, his plan had backfired… Not that that was gonna stop him.

Homelander turned back round to the pair of you as he composed himself, cracking his neck.

“Now...” He paused, raising a brow. “What was that plan again?” He said smugly as Billy gave you a look.

“Billy, the baby-“ You said quietly, hearing the baby cry. He was only a baby. He didn’t deserve this.

“Take him and go.” Billy told you.

“What? I’m not leaving you!” You furrowed your brows, shaking your head.

“This is between me and him.” He told you sternly. “You’ve been hurt enough.” Without you realising, your eyes began to glow a green colour as emotion began to overcome you. Fear. Fear of losing Billy. “Go.” He told you once more as you turned back round to Homelander, glaring at him. He stood, not phased by your glowing eyes as he almost smirked at it even. You went to move towards the crib to do as Billy said, but Homelander shot out his lasers to stop you, making you recoil backwards.

“No.” He told you. “He stays.” He turned his gaze back to Billy. He knew Billy had no rules. Billy would do anything to stop Homelander. A baby wasn’t going to change that.

“Alright.” Billy narrowed his eyes. “So be it.” You turned back to face him as the last face so he was the last face you saw, you didn’t dare want it to be Homelander. You gave him a small nod as Billy seemed hesitant, but soon a smirk formed on his lips as he pressed the detonator…

*FLASHFORWARD*

“She’s been like that for weeks…”

“She won’t even tell me what happened…”

“Maybe she just needs some space guys-“

You could overhear the boys talking about you. You were sat in the new safe house, with random people all around you, Frenchie carrying on business as usual. M.M had been working on a dollhouse for his daughter, whilst Hughie seemed the most agitated of the group. He was angry. Angry at Butcher. Frustrated at his situation. And of course, a lovesick puppy, missing Annie, still hanging onto the guilt of what he did to her. You on the other hand were feeling depressed and concerned. Concerned for Billy. What had happened after the explosion?

You didn’t remember much, you just remember seeing white, and feeling heat engulf you. Somehow you had survived. You woke up miles away, stranded and frantic. Luckily, you had memorised Frenchie’s burner phone number as you called him from a pay phone and he instantly came to get you. He asked questions but you didn’t have all the answers, and since that car ride back, you had been mostly quiet and keeping to yourself.

“Hey-“

You jumped at the voice that spoke, looking up to see Hughie standing behind you as you were sat on the sofa, Kimiko on the floor as she practiced her writing.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” He gave you a small smile. “I er, I’m here.” He told you genuinely. “If you need to talk. Y’know?” He had his hands in his pockets as he tried to be there for you. “Bottling it up… Well… it doesn’t help.” He gave a tight smile. “I would know.”

“I’m just tired.” You told him. “I’m tired of this. I’m tired of the mess we keep finding ourselves in.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “And I can’t even be upset, because I got myself into this shit.” You scoffed, shaking your head. Hughie stayed silent, unsure on what to say. He knew how you felt. “I was the one who went to Butcher. I went out and found him.” You laughed bitterly. “I should’ve just carried on my life, hiding in the shadows and living as normally as I could.” You muttered. “And to top it all off, the one person I thought I could really count on…” You paused, fighting the urge to cry. “Well, he hates me. And he’s god knows where.”

“That’s not true.” Hughie finally spoke, walking round to sit beside you on the sofa. “Butcher… He doesn’t hate you.” He said softly.

“You didn’t see how he looked at me.” You replied, remembering the hatred in his eyes back at the motel. Hughie sighed, placing his hand on your shoulder gently for comfort.

God knows when you would see Butcher again. But all you knew was you missed him. You were thankful you had the boys, but they weren’t Billy… And the one question you kept replaying in our mind was…

Did he forgive you?

[cjsinkythoughts]

Right From Left

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3085

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo being a punk, Bucky getting a little scary, some feelings, Sam being his fantastic, amazing, caring for everyone self

A/N: Here it is! At long last! I’ve been waiting for this episode and it was…holy fuck. I barely have words. And I can’t start or else I’ll be ranting for pages. Anyways, I know this Part is a little on the shorter side - not by much, but it still is - and it doesn’t even cover half the episode, but I’ve had a long day and I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep. I wanted to stop before Walker entered the picture too, because then I’m just gonna get more riled up and I’m working later. I’ll probably have another part out today, and then I’ll finish it tomorrow. Unless I can finish it today. I’ll try, but no promises.

Feel free to rant to me about the episode or the show, too, guys! My friends and I have been going back and forth about it for the past few hours. I’d love to hear your thoughts! I think that’s all for now.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS BELOW CUT!

You were avoiding him.

When you first got to Latvia, he had pulled you aside, eyes wide and pleading. “Doll, listen-”

“I really don’t think right now is the time to have the discussion we’re about to have.” Shaking your head, you avoided his gaze, your stomach twisting into knots. It was too much for you to handle; you couldn’t focus on the mission at hand and try to unravel the emotions that were making your gut flip like a gymnast. There were too many thoughts in your head, and you needed a clear mind.

“But-”

“Once this is all done, and our lives aren’t in danger. Once we’re back home, then we can talk, okay? Just…please. Not here. Not now.”

And he dropped it. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk about it. You just couldn’t. You had always been a ‘leave your baggage at the door’ type of person. Don’t mix work with personal. Not like you had much “personal” anyways when you first decided that was how it should be. And then your coworkers became family and your motto got a lot harder to follow. But you still followed it. And you would continue to follow it.

But that made you start avoiding him. Whether you meant to or not, everyone noticed, but no one said anything. Sam shot you a look when you didn’t offer to go with Bucky when he had to check something out. Zemo raised an eyebrow when he came back and, instead of immediately questioning him, you sat still on the couch, eyes glancing up briefly, before going back to playing with the strings of your hoodie.

You were paying attention to their conversation, especially when Karli Morgenthau was brought up, you just didn’t join in. Not even when Zemo mentioned the Avengers, eyeing you to see your reaction.

Honestly, you were tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your shoulder hurt, your brain couldn’t process what the guys were talking about, and your heart couldn’t take any more hits.

It was something you’d been thinking about…you just thought it’d come after this mission.

“She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her…or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong Zemo. The Serum never corrupted Steve.”

For the first time since he first walked in, your eyes met Bucky’s. “Touche.” Zemo pointed at Bucky with a pastry around his finger. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

But you couldn’t wait until after this mission. Not when he was so connected to it. “I think I’m gonna go home.” You blurted out before Zemo and Bucky could argue further, Bucky slumping down onto the opposite side of the couch.

The moment the words left your lips, Sam and Bucky shot up, staring at you in disbelief.

“Wait, hold up. What? Now? We’re so close-”

“Why? Is it your arm? Is it hurting? You should’ve told us-”

“I’m just tired.” You cut in, shaking your head. “That’s all. I didn’t expect this to be drawn out this long when you called, Sammy.”

Bucky’s hand twitched as he hesitatingly scooted closer to you. “Doll, if this is because what happened on the jet-”

“It’s not, Buck.” You tried to give him a convincing smile, but you knew by the look in his eyes that he didn’t buy it for one second. You reached over to squeeze his hand, and when you pulled back, he held on tighter, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at your linked hands.

“Okay…if you wanna go home, we can get you home. Just…” His head turned back to you, a pleading pout on his features. “Just…stay. Another day. Please. You can keep avoiding me, I won’t even say another word to you if you don’t want. But stay. Just for one more day.”

Chewing on your cheek, you finally nodded slightly. “Okay. One more day.”

His eyes lit up, before his face fell again when you took your hand back and curled into the corner of the couch. “Let’s talk shop, boys.”

“Okay. So, from my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam easily changed the topic back to the situation at hand, giving you a reassuring wink when you smiled at him gratefully. “So when I was a kid, my Tee Tee passed away.”

Bucky screwed his face up in confusion, straightening his head from where he had it leaned back. “Your - your Tee Tee?”

Sam gave him a look. “Yeah. My-my Tee Tee, yeah.”

Bucky looked at him weirdly. “Who is your Tee Tee?”

The exchange made you giggle a little bit, shaking your head. “Bucky’s a city boy from the 40’s, remember, Sammy?”

“Fine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “When I was a kid my aunt passed away.”

Bucky gave a slight huff, making you chuckle again. You stopped when he smiled over at you, but your grin didn’t leave your face. Even when they were the ones to give you a headache, your fellas were damn entertaining, that’s for sure.

With a sort-of plan in place - the gathering for Donya being no more than a theory, but the only idea you really had - you stretched out from your spot on the couch, twisting to crack your back. “Zemo.” The man stopped his rummaging through the cabinets and looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised. “Go put some clothes on. We’ve got work to do.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, opening his mouth, but Sam beat him to the punch. “Do as the lady says, man. You’re already walking on a tightrope after you shot Nagel!” Zemo waved dismissively at Sam’s exclamation, heading into a separate room to change out of his robe. “That guy is gonna drive me up the wall.”

“Don’t let him get to that pretty head of yours, Sammy.” You hummed, standing up, wincing slightly as you stretched your sore shoulder over your head.

You could tell Bucky wanted to say something, the way he snapped forwards, hands moving down his thigh like he was leaning over to reach for you, his eyes locked on your injured joint, but, just as he said earlier, he didn’t say a word. But the part that made you upset was…you didn’t stop him. You didn’t tell him it was okay for him to talk to you. You didn’t reassure him that you weren’t purposely trying to avoid him. You simply moved over to the kitchen to get something to drink.

It hurt worse than your shoulder, but you couldn’t handle it. Not then. Not with such an important part of the mission coming up. So you didn’t say anything. You just sipped your water, switching into tactic mode as your mind ran through the scenarios of what could possibly go down in the next 24 hours before you went home.

*************************

Walking under the arch, you couldn’t help but feel saddened as Zemo told you about what the courtyard used to look like. Thanos messed the world up so much more than you realized and, as much as you hated to admit it, the Avengers did have a part in it. Not that they - you - were in the wrong, necessarily. You truly believed you did what anyone in that situation, with the skills and abilities and knowledge the team had, would do what you did. Or tried to do.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs.” Sam stated, looking up at the upper stories of the building, before glancing at Bucky. “See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll come with you.” You said, turning on your heel to follow Sam. The back of Bucky’s gloved hand brushed against yours, and instinctually you turned your palm to link your fingers and squeezing. You let go quickly once you realized what you were doing, nearly tripping up the stairs to get to Sam, not daring to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“You’re an idiot.” He stated simply as soon as you met him at the top of the stairs.

“Can we focus on finding Donya right now, please?” You grumbled, moving forwards cautiously, peeking around the corner. You frowned when you saw two guys at the end of the hallway, looking back at you and Sam warily.

“You need to hear what he has to say, cher.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I know I do. I know. But I can’t. Not right now. I’m just trying to get this over with first. I don’t want too many things on my plate. I might choke.” It already felt like you were drowning most nights.

He paused at your words, giving you a once over, before nodding. “Okay. I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” You told him earnestly. “Now let’s try to get something from these people.”

He nodded in agreement and you two continued forwards with your search. Room after room, people walked out before you could get anything from them, locking doors behind them. The Flag Smashers logo was everywhere, but you expected nothing less from a refugee camp that practically worshipped what they were doing.

Even when you did get a guy to talk to you, he immediately shut you down, leaving you and Sam dejected. The fact that the world had gotten so bad that these people couldn’t trust you and Sam - Avengers; people who used to be heroes and bring hope to others - it made your heart sink.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

“Are we wrong?”

He froze at your question, his lips pressing together. “About what, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…I guess I can’t tell right from left anymore. I always assumed that the Avengers were the good guys. That the actions we’ve taken in the past were us making the world a better place, but…Sokovia and Ultron. Germany and the whole civil war thing we had going on. The entire world and Thanos. We don’t truly ever win. Do we?”

“I can’t answer that for you.” Sam shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to believe or who to believe in. But I can tell you that we’ve made a difference. Steve, Nat, Tony…they made a difference.”

“But was it a good difference? Was it a change? There’s a difference between changing the world and just making it different, Sam.”

He blinked at you, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. And I don’t have that answer for you either. But they tried. They did what they thought was right. No matter if it was or not. And isn’t that all we can do? Try?”

His words made you think back to the conversation you had with Bucky once he learned about John Walker, which seemed so long ago. When you told him it wasn’t Sam’s fault. That he was just trying. That he did what he thought was right. 

And maybe he was wrong. But he made a decision. It was his decision. To do the right thing. And right then, not for the first time, you could see exactly what Steve saw in the man in front of you.

“You’re a good man, Sam.”

Sam grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulders and squeezing. “And you’re an incredible person, Y/N. Let’s go see if Bucky and the Baron got anything.”

You snickered at his mocking tone towards Zemo and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

*****************************

You didn’t like it. You didn’t like it one bit. So far, Zemo kept proving you wrong. Even when it seemed like he was about to jump ship, he came back. No matter how many opportunities he had to escape, he never did. And it was making you even more suspicious.

You stayed out of Bucky and Sam’s conversation, although you had to agree with Sam’s point, especially with the conversation you just had.

Your thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute, only to be interrupted by Zemo information about the funeral this afternoon. Guess a snake will always be a snake.

“And you, uh, didn’t think this was important information?” You questioned, eyes narrowed and brow pinched.

He shrugged. “You have it now, don’t you, princess?”

Bucky growled at the nickname, leaning back on the couch, threatening Zemo with the Dora Milaje.

You can’t remember a time you’ve ever been scared of Bucky. Maybe a little threatened and intimidated by the Winter Soldier, but never scared of Bucky. And when he stood up after Zemo mentioned leverage, you didn’t expect anything from it; maybe another choke hold or something. So the glass hitting the wall, the clench in his jaw as he spoke gruffly to the Baron, for a mere second, he kind of frightened you. Maybe it was all the emotions you’d been through the past few weeks or maybe it was the adrenaline that seemed to be pulsing through your veins 24/7 nowadays. Whatever it was, it made you flinch, bolting up as Sam did.

You left the room quickly, hearing Sam say something about making a call, hoping to calm your racing heart.

“Doll?” You sat up from the bed you were laying on, legs hanging off the edge. Bucky stood in the doorway, nervously shifting his feet. “I know I said I’d leave you alone, but…”

You gave the bed a pat next to you and he gladly accepted the invitation, padding over to sit besides you. “I don’t want you to leave me alone, Buck. You’re my best friend. I-I just need to take it one thing at a time right now.”

He nodded. “I get it. I wasn’t…I wasn’t coming in to talk to you about that. You said we’ll talk about it later, so we’ll talk about it later.”

“I appreciate that, Bucky.” You smiled at him, before frowning. “What did you wanna talk about then? Are you okay?”

“Did I…did I scare you?”

You blinked at his question, tilting your head. “What?”

Jerking his head to the doorway he explained, “just then. With Zemo. Your heart spiked.”

“No.” You answered immediately. You would never ever admit that he kind of did scare you. It was just for a second and you knew how his brain worked; he’d beat himself up over it, go over his actions for hours instead of getting the rest he so desperately needs and deserves. He didn’t need that on his conscience right now. “I wasn’t - I just…you startled me. I wasn’t expecting that reaction-”

“I didn’t like the way he talked to you.” He spat out, glaring at his hands in his lap. “And then the smug bastard thought he was gonna get away with holding back information like that and I just…I dunno.”

His hand came off his thigh, but he hesitated. Before he could put it down again, you slipped your hand under his, linking your fingers, running your thumb in circles against his palm. “Don’t let him get to you, Buck. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

A sigh left his lips and he nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just…hard. After everything he put me through - put us through - I…I just hate that he’s really our only option.”

You frowned, shifting on the bed to face him, one leg bending beneath you while the other still hung over. “Why are you so obsessed with catching these guys?”

“I wanna do something right.” He murmured, playing with your fingers. “I’ve done so much wrong…I just wanna do something right. And I feel...responsible for it, I guess. In a way. It’s Super Soldier Serum. I thought I was the only one after Steve…” He froze at the blonde’s mention, giving you a side-eyed glance. You nudged him, silently telling him to continue, that it was okay to talk about him. “And Sam’s right, you know. She’s just a kid. So…I dunno. I wanna help. I wanna do something right. And catching them would help. It’s right. Right?”

You nodded firmly. “I understand where they’re coming from. Karli’s just trying to help the world. But she’s doing it wrong. And that I know for absolute certainty. Which is good, I guess. I was talking to Sam early and I mentioned not knowing my right from my left recently. It’s good I know something, huh? And for you it should be easy telling your right from your left.” You joked, tracing the gold lines on his metal arm. “I guess you’re just gonna have to stay besides me to help me remember.”

Looking up, you found Bucky staring at you with something you recognized in his eyes, but didn’t want to name. “Three hours, forty two minutes and thirty one seconds.”

“What?”

“That’s how long I didn’t talk to you. It was too long.”

You sighed, ducking your head. “Bucky, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry. For anything and everything I’ve ever done wrong. I won’t mention the plane or anything we’ve talked about until you bring it up first. I promise. Just…just don’t ignore me anymore? I'm not sure I can handle it for much longer.”

You nodded, watching your fingertips dance along his scruffy jaw. “I won’t.” He caught your wrist, opening his mouth, before shaking his head and closing it. “What?”

He shook his head again. “Not until you bring it up.”

“We will talk, James. I promise.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I really do. It’s okay. As long as we’re okay for right now, I can hold it in a bit longer.”

You nearly asked him what he was holding in, but you quickly shoved the question out of your mind, knowing it would take you down a conversation you couldn’t possibly have right then. “How long do you think we have?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Zemo just said that it’s this afternoon. Why?”

“I started reading The Great Gatsby on the plane. I’ve got it on my phone. It kinda reminds me of you. Do you-do you think we have time to read some? Only if you want, I mean. Like we used to do in Wakanda?”

He grinned and nodded, scooting up on the bed and flopping down into the pillows. You smiled back, following his lead. Once you were comfortable, your phone out with the chapter you were on, Bucky scooted closer, laying his head on your stomach, hugging your waist. 

“Is this okay?”

Your fingers found home in his hair and you nodded when he looked up at you for an answer. “Yeah. It’s perfect, Buckaroo.”

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Okay its my favorite episode but anyone else feel like Luz is way too upset about finding out Beloz = Phillip? Like who cares you already knew he was evil, and yet she’s crying and can’t even say it.

Oh yeah, I’ve seen this critique circulating for Hollow Mind and to a degree, it does make sense. They didn’t really have Luz openly admiring Phillip outside of the first half of Elsewhere and Elsewhen. Her initial, parasocial connection to him didn’t seem that personal until she actually met him, and then it was only a matter of time before he showed his true colors. So not only did Luz not really build much of a connection to Phillip...that connection was severed after she met him. To realize retroactively that Phillip and Belos are one and the same…yeah, it’s probably disturbing, but it’s not like she didn’t already know he was evil. However, I can think of two reasons why Luz breaks down. 

1) Because she helped him. Unknowingly, unwittingly perhaps, but she did assist Phillip on his adventures. Luz was frustrated, wondering how anyone could fall for Belos’ lies…but she did, too. She taught him how to use a glyph, she and Lillith provided a “distraction” for the stonesleeper while he procured The Collector’s mirror. (And I’ve said this before but Luz, for whatever reason, does not take the mirror back later, when she easily could have. Lilith just punches him and then they move on…) Luz isn’t horrified that Phillip is Belos, she’s horrified because she got played just like everyone else and is now probably feeling a degree of guilt for how powerful Belos is now. 

2) Because whatever else Phillip might have been, he was also human. The one other human who came to the Boiling Isles. His diary was Luz’s only hope of ever getting home. But if Phillip is actually Belos…that means he never made it home. In hundreds of years, he still hasn’t managed it, despite wanting to. Luz’s one hope, her one lifeline, just went up in smoke. That has to be soul-crushing for her. The discovery of Phillip’s existence gave her a chance at potentially finding a way back to the human realm. But now she knows that this story has no happy ending.

3) A third reason just occurred to me. I think it’s symbolic. Finding out Belos is actually Phillip isn’t about either of them being evil…it’s about Belos being a human. That alone would be a pretty hard gut punch. One of Luz’s own kind, bringing the Boiling Isles to kneel as Belos has done. A human, not a monster or demon or someone that Luz can comfortably place in the role of “fantasy villain.” Because this is real life, where the good guys don’t always win. “Belos” is such a demonic name, but for his real name to be the unquestionably human name “Phillip” is a symbolic reminder that this isn’t a storybook and Luz is not the good witch Azura. (It’s no accident that her pseudonym in the past was a play on that.) Belos is a human in the Boiling Isles, just like she is…and he might win.

Oh, and one final bit of food for thought. I wonder if this moment, where Luz finds out who Belos really is, feels somewhat undermined because of Elsewhere and Elsewhen. Like, the ending of that episode made it very clear that Phillip was Belos, but they didn't technically say it. I'm not sure if the scene in Hollow Mind was meant to be the official reveal to the audience or just the reveal to Luz...but either way, the point is that basically everyone understood the twist after the "I just need to live long enough..." scene. Luz is reacting the way she is because it's new information for her.

Knowing that "Phillip was actually a scheming asshole," while not fun, is still a far cry from "Phillip is the evil dictator I've been fighting this whole time." He's not just a person from history anymore. He's still alive, and Luz's adventure in the past has given him a unique advantage over her. Like, Belos knew Luz before she knew him, and this is news to her. I can only imagine how terrifying and invasive that must feel. But Belos has been waiting for Luz to crop up. "In the grand scheme of things, the Owl Lady's life is inconsequential...but then you turned up."

[yjwhatif]

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

[razorblade180]

Actor AU 3

The previous one<-

Penny:*dancing on set*

Nora:Someone seems happy.

Penny:🎶First episode I don’t have to wear props! 🎶 This is so liberating!

Nora:You read the script right?

Penny:Just let me vibe!

xxxx

Neo:*hanging off ledge*

Cinder:.....Long live queen. *pushes her off*

Ruby:Yo! Let’s add a lion king character!

Director:No!

xxxx

Ironwood,Broadcasting:.....

Everyone:.....

Ironwood:*leans it closely* You have one hour...or I poison Gotham Harbor.

Yang:Pay up Weiss! I told you he’d say it!

Weiss:Damn it!

Ruby:*laughing hysterically.

xxxx

Adam:*sips tea* Now you’re probably wondering why I’m on set for V8 when I have not scene or relevance. The answer is simple.

Neo:*hits Yang of the edge*

Blake:Yaaaaang-

*faint laughing offset*

Blake.....*snickers* You asshole, I was in the zone!

Adam:I’m just adding to the tension!

Yang:*hanging from harness* You should’ve yelled “Lionized!!!!!”

Adam:Oh that would’ve been great!

Blake:You two are the worst!

xxxx

Right after Cinder stabs Penny

Jaune:Penny!!!! H-Hold on!

Penny:J-Jaune? I don’t...I don’t feel so g-good... hehe, this...*tearing up* this really hurts...

Jaune:*crying* Don’t speak! My semblance, I’ll...I

Penny:No...don’t. No time, but....there’s still something I need you t-to do. Cinder...can’t get the power and the relics. *reaches for blade*

Jaune:W-What?! No, I....I can’t-

Penny:It’s okay Jaune. *smiles* Everything is...gonna be okay.

Jaune:*raising bl-

Director:Cut!

Jaune:Huh?

Penny:Hmm? *sits up* Oh no, did I miss a line?

Director:*points to Cinder*

They turn to see Weiss comforting the the woman with a hug while trying not to laugh at the situation.

Penny:What happened!?

Weiss:She’s crying over the scene!

Penny:What!? *runs over*

Cinder:I am so sorry I ruined take! You were doing so well. Too well! Ugh, god damnit!

Penny:Awww you know I’m fine right? Come here! *hugs her*

Weiss:Cinder fall everyone, the biggest teddy bear around. *wipping eyes*

Jaune:You’re crying too!?

Weiss:I am the second biggest teddy bear around.

xxxx

Jaune:We have to go!!!

Winter:*points at Cinder*....Sleep with one eye open.

Director:Cut! Why!?

Cinder:Hahahaha!

Winter:I couldn’t help myself.

Director:Be angry!

Bloop!

Winter:*glares* The next time I see you I swear, I’ll have your head!

Director:Less angry!

Cinder:That one actually kinda scared me. Haha geez, Winter giving chills!

Bloop!

Winter:Can I curse?

Director:We’re already at the limit before we’d have change ratings.

Winter:Dang it! I just one F bomb!

Director:We’ll put it the gag reel.

Bloop!

Jaune:We need to go!

Winter: Tsk, *points sword* You are going to pay for everything you’ve done! So watch you fucking back...

Director:Happy?

Winter:*grinning* Yeah that felt great!

xxxxx

Bomb starts sliding slowly.

Qrow:*clenches Clover’s pin*

Bomb falls off plan set

.....

Vine and Elm:.....

Harriet:Well...boom! I guess!? For the love of- *face palms*

Qrow:....Uhhh I haha, I think hahaha- hahaha! Can we maybe tilt the plan a little less!? Oh boy! I guess someone should’ve grabbed that.

Harriet:You know what, can we keep this ending!?

Robyn: Rename the whole episode haha. “Adults watch bomb slowly fall”

Vine:Okay but I like how we’re all just waiting for it to stop, and then just tips right over! The moment it started moving I knew it was going way too fast!

Elm:Mission failed everyone. We’ll get em next time.

xxxxx

Interviewer:How do you think fans will react to this finale?

Penny:Well I can’t spoil anything for obvious reasons but I hope it resonates well. It’s fun having my character be around for a finale for once, and with so many other roles she doesn’t get interact with much. It’s been really fun.

Interviewer:Oh yeah? Who’s been best to work with?

Penny:Oooo that’s tough. My cousin, Nora, she’s been fun to interact with this volume. But uhhh I think I’ll give it to Jaune. We don’t have many scenes overall together but...it’s hard explain. I feel like between my character and his, there’s this kinda mutal headspace they have for their friends. If I had to pick a person I would say Jaune would have the ability to open up Penny in a way nobody else could.

Interviewing:Interesting, well I hope you both get more interactions and that this finale debuts well.

Penny:Thank you!

xxxxx

Winter:*dragging Ironwood off*

Emerald:....Wait, I know I do illusions, but how did the Ironwood not hear or feel the wind coming from an airship several feet away? I kicked up dirt and alerted Amber in volume 3.

Director:....Do we have time to rewri- no? Okay... just don’t think about it!

xxxxx

Nora:Someone cut the signal!

Watts: *playing Galaga* Hehehe all according to plan.

Neo:Change the tab! It’s- we see it in camera! Haha!

Watts:*strokes mustache* I know. That’s how genius I am. Cracking codes and high-scores! Muhahaha!

xxxx

Ruby:Fun fact, we have two Hound costumes. One where he’s mainly doglike and the other when he’s beating up people. But I you wonder who’s playing him under all that? *takes mask off*

Cardin:Sup.

Ruby:Forever a bully, even behind the set.

Cardin:Pfft am not.

Penny:You had a laugh tossing me!

Cardin:You don’t count, you’re family!

Penny:Ah!?

xxxxxx

Yang:*holding camera* Pssst!

Ren:*sipping coffee*???

Yang:Ready for our fight in the snow?

Ren:I can’t feel my toes! I’m gonna yell at you and then walk away.

Yang:I’ll mess up so we’ll stay here longer.

Ren:Yang! We can have a real fight in the snow right now!

Yang:Heheh, kidding. Mostly.

xxxxx

Ruby:Blake have you heard of Among Us?

Blake:Wh-what?

Ruby:Among Us. You gotta do tasks without an imposter killing you. I only bring it up because we’re rebooting the power. Someone always dies in electrical.

Blake:Ruby this is real life. Besides this way more Resident Evil, but with no- Tyrant!

Hound:*busts through window*

Ruby:Wny is it always electrical!!!?

xxxxx

Ironwood:*doing shirtless pull-ups*

Ozpin:He’s getting ready for his fight scenes. Trying to look winded but a little bulkier in the moment.

Winter:*watching Ironwood*

Ozpin:*snickering* Winter is trying to get into the mindset of having to a play a character who has to go against all that. The agony of fighting someone you looked at for so long.

Winter:You can call it like it is. I’m gawking a little.

Ozpin:She’s gawking a little.

xxxxx

Hazel:*grabs Salem*

Salem:*squeezing his biceps* Its like my entire torso. You eat a bear for breakfast?

Hazel:Oh my god.

Salem:You know this isn’t the worst way to go out. I had a good run. At least you hold me, unlike Ozma! Why didn’t you hold me like this!?

Hazel:You’re so ridiculous.

xxxxx

Set crew adjusting lighting in manor. All but one stays on.

Oscar and Penny:*waltzing underneath it*

Nora:...I like how on or off camera I personally lose the dating game while another redhead wins.

Ozpin:Which pair you talking about?

Nora:Huh?

Yang and Adam:*cracking jokes*

Nora:This is nonsense! Where’s Jaune!?

Weiss:Food run with Ruby.

Nora:Aaaaaggghhh!