#every thing rand says is just this

[alverelover]

[aenhanse]

people weren't lying those crossroads of twilight can really slog

[littlevenicebiatch]

Sugar

Simon is readers sugar daddy

It started out as you needing money and him needing someone to kill down gossip about his relationship status around base. You were a college student he met at your bartendering job. "I could give you a better life darlin." He told you, and he did, he spoiled you rotten.

He bought you new dresses, makeup and jewellery almost every day. Simon handed you an envelope of money after every visit you made. It was different each time he called you, sometimes he needed a companion to a dinner with the task force or a military ball, sometimes he just needed your company, he would sit down in his chair, pull you into his lap and say "tell me something from your world, doll." And when you did, he would listen to you closely. And then there were the times when he needed to let off steam. He would fuck you silly.

One of these times was now, Simon had thrown you onto his bed and currently pulled down your panties. He kissed your thighs and pushed you gently so you leaned against th eframe of his bed.

"You ready for this doll?" "Yes" You responded. So he took of your cute sundress and kissed your breats. He took of his pants and pushed inside off you. Simon wasnt excactly gentle, but he did always give you pleasure. "You are mine." He said between heavy breaths as he pushed inside of you many times.

"Yours." You responded quietly. "Oh so you gonna repeat after me now? Oh baby, did I fuck your brains out?" You only managed to nod as he fucked you and added a thumb to the mix.

"Simon" You moaned. "Yes, doll?" "Im gonna cum." "good." He circled your clit even faste rand then he as he kissed the top of your head you came at the same time as he filled you.

After Simon had thouroughly bathed you you lay in his arms as he stroked your hair. "So perfect, my little doll." He whispered. "Simon?" "Yes?" "I.. I would like us to be.. more than just, whatever we are now." His hand stopped on your head. "What do you mean?" "I mean, I want to be your girlfriend, I dont want to be paid by you anymore." Simon chuckled. "Well, the first thing is done, you are my little girlfriend, but I am afraid I cant help with the second one." "What do you mean?" "There is no way I will stop paying you. You are my perfect doll, I need to make sure you are well off." "But Simon-" "Dont argue with me on this darling." "Okay, I love you" "I love you too."

[whichcouldmeannothing]

big big marvey fic rec list

marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!

fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES

A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)

“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."

i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)

of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)

Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.

"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."

this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE

5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…

i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)

fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)

needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)

When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.

this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS

Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)

After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.

BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)

The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)

Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.

"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."

I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul

Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me

Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)

In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...

i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh

Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)

Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.

this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)

afternoon reads (10k+)

Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)

Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.

“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.

“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.

cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh

Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)

When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]

I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!

quick reads (1k+)

This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)

She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.

RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much

an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)

Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”

this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)

Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)

Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.

"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.

IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh

Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)

When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.

BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)

Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)

Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.

this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1

One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)

Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.

HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!

also pspspsps

golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)

Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.

yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth

there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3

^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3

[doyouwanttoseeabug]

Star Trek crew but they're all different species hear me out:

Jim - Jim has to remain human. He's the humanist human around, and also there is infinite comedy in the idea of a bunch of other species making exhausted eye contact whenever he pulls his bullshit.

Spock remains Vulcan obviously.

I initially thought Tellarite Bones BUT I think Andorian Bones fits better. Adding an extra-spicy layer to his Thing with Spock if their grandparents were literally shooting at each other. Every time Jim is Extremely Jim, Bones pulls out the ushaan-tor with a Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a duellist but DON'T TEMPT ME

Romulan Uhura. No listen, trust me on this. Escaping from the Romulan empire because her love of languages leads her to a love of other cultures and a fiercely anti-imperialist anti-hegemonic stance. Her poise and calm comes from a lifetime of lying to the Tal Shiar, who were aggressively trying to recruit her before she joined Starfleet. How did she become an expert in diplomacy? Well her favourite childhood hobby was not getting dissapeared by the state so the rest came naturally.

Klingon Rand was revealed to me in a dream.

SCOTTY is the Tellarite. Jim rings down to engineering all meek like "hello Scotty can you tell me why the "ship is about to explode" light is flashing" and Scotty's like your mother was a leper and your father was a clown. Yeah the engines are fucked.

Chekov is Orion for The Angst TM

I know I KNOW that the Federation hadn't made contact with the Cardassians in TOS but Cardassian Sulu. He's so nice and smiley and polite :) and he's just saying Captain that if you want anyone poisoned I might know a guy :) the guy is me, Captain :)

I really wanted a Ferengi on here but no one fits so. Ferengi Chapel I guess. She's actually incredibly nice and way more professional than Bones but occasionally there's a gleam in her eyes and you just know she's thinking Oh, if I wanted to, I could rip these suckers off.

[olderthannetfic]

The Pawn to Queen wank was well known at the time, but it seems to have mostly sunk into obscurity... or maybe I just know too many people who never read het now?

Riley was a BNF on the very large and active When I Kissed the Teacher mailing list, which was for Snape/Hermione in that era when we knew nothing about Snape and people wrote him as a mysterious aristocrat who just needed a better hair care regimen. I remember her wangsting unsubtly every time another author got praise on the list despite being one of the most popular authors at the time and getting frequent asspats from the same posters. It was incredibly tacky and obvious, but we'd all comfort her anyway because she was popular and nobody wanted her to stop writing.

At first, PtQ was your classic Bad Guys Made Them Do It sexy dubcon hurt/comfort nonsense... And then there was the snake on rollerskates, but we ate that kind of thing up back then.

As the story went on, however, her OCs (and "OCs" stolen from Cyteen) started taking over the story with endless nonsense about being ~Strega~ (never "a strega", always "I am Strega"), the witchy Übermensch. The sexy Snape/Hermione stuff went out the window to the annoyance of a lot of the audience.

This was all going on as I was getting to the end of my time in college and getting busier. I eventually left the list and thus tragically missed (most? all?) what I'm told were called the "PtQ Wars". This months-long wank was reportedly about Riley revealing that a lot of the point of PtQ was to enlighten the readers as to the amazingness of objectivism. On one side were a bunch of readers explaining that, yes, really, as people who'd at some point been in proximity to a college campus and/or insufferable twats, they were amply familiar with objectivism and didn't appreciate a bait-and-switch. On the other, Riley, insisting that people Just Didn't Get It.

All I can find now are a few references to there being a wank and to Riley loving Nietzsche, nothing about Rand, but I definitely remember people saying there was specific discussion of Rand and Riley being mortally offended that others were... not fans.

[highfantasy-soul]

Can I just say, I know people were upset we didn't get to see Rand and Lan training the sword in S1 and S2, no mention of the flame and the void, etc, but I really think it thematically works WAY better including it here in S3.

In S1, it would have just been...idk, here's something on a checklist we need to do: have male protag learn sword as he's starting his adventure. But that wasn't where Rand was at - they really didn't think they'd need to physically fight too much, then at the end, he wasn't going to duel Ishy at the Eye, it was really just a 'show up and hopefully you'll just know what to do' situation

S2, Rand thinks he's completed his task! He's trying to grapple with eventually going mad and yes, he does get a little bit of 'training' from the war veteran, but it's really just small things like how to hold himself/hold a blade. Nothing to become a master. And still, it wasn't time for him to learn. Defeating Ishy, again, was a battle of wills and Rand accepting that this fight wasn't over and wouldn't be over for a long time.

NOW in S3, Rand is accepting his responsibility - both physically and mentally. He's tasked with so much that he's supposed to control, but has no way to - he can't control going mad, he can't control the divide in the tower, he can't control the Forsaken coming after him and his friends, he can't control the Aiel's perception of him, he can't control his confused feelings for Lanfear and her dipping into his dreams every night. What he can control: his physical training.

It's thematically relevant now to bring in the Flame and the Void - emphasizing how Tam was a father to Rand and taught him swordmaster techniques of control that Rand is now having to fall back on as he's taken up the responsibility of being the Dragon Reborn and needing an anchor to steady him for the long fight ahead. Now, it's thematically relevant for him to hone his physical skills as a way to regain focus in a situation where his focus has to be on a thousand things at once.

The show has a limited time to show us the themes and character development - we don't have hundreds of pages of down time where the characters can do what they did in the books.

Moving Rand's sword training to S3 fulfills SO many roles: Rand narrowing the group of people he goes to for advice, the difference between Lan's approach vs Moiraine's and how Rand feels about that, Rand battling for control and needing something stable, Rand leaning on his adoptive father's lessons/remembering his upbringing for the days to come, showing the difference between him and the Aiel he needs to lead as he is learning the sword, not the spear.

I think the way the show has progressed Rand's character has been really really great and now, the sword training feels like it FITS rather than just being tacked-on as something that just has to be included.

[anghraine]

I was thinking about my personal "TOS is really its own thing" headcanons for K/S, and also, that one of the things that really surprised me when I actually marathoned the whole series was the acknowledged ethical issue around captain/crew fraternization.

To rewind back to my ship, lol: I definitely think that Spock and Kirk are obsessively in love with each other, and it's pretty obvious that every other relationship and person in their lives pales in comparison, but I don't actually imagine that they've said or done anything about this beyond the kinds of things we've seen onscreen.

I mean. Yes, that includes things like "when Kirk gets a massage on the bridge for his back pain, he just assumes it's Spock and is intensely uncomfortable to discover it's someone else" + the two of them saying breathtaking romantic things with obvious heart eyes while ignoring the existence of everyone around them + Kirk's most compelling and insightful love interest remarking that Spock obviously belongs with him as if he always will be at Kirk's side + everything "Amok Time" chooses to be + mutual seething jealousy/Spock excising his rival from Kirk's mind while he sleeps + Kirk saying Spock is closer to him than anyone in the universe + Spock regularly abandoning his principles when it comes to Kirk etc etc etc. But I don't think they've actually said what they feel or initiated a (physically) sexual relationship during TOS itself.

Taking TOS by itself and ignoring the regular reboots of their characterizations in ... well, everything else, I definitely feel like they're moving inexorably towards that kind of unambiguous romantic relationship in TOS, just that they haven't quite taken that last step yet.

In fact, I suspect that the "You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe" statement from bodysnatched Kirk to Spock is likely the most explicit statement either has made about how they feel or what their relationship really is, and it carefully stops just short of saying too much. And it's immediately followed by a) a mind-meld, I think the fourth between them, but the first in which Spock effortlessly melds them without a single word to help, and b) one of the most extended periods of physical contact between them, with iirc over two minutes of Spock holding Kirk's bare hand/wrist on screen as they try to escape together signifying nothing, with scene cuts suggesting the actual duration may in fact be longer (*gasps in Vulcan*).

The show ends with that episode because of the cancellation, but there's something weirdly apropos about it as a finale on a purely shipping level. I definitely felt like the dynamic between them has reached such a point by "Turnabout Intruder" that there's no going back. But I don't think anything more significant than what we've seen has happened off screen, just that the acknowledgment of the nature of their feelings and the shift to an overtly romantic, sexual relationship seem inevitable at this point. And by "overtly," I mean to each other, not necessarily anyone else.

There are various reasons I feel this way. Partly it's the high-octane yearning and repression that both exhibit in very different ways, which I think make more sense if they haven't acknowledged anything yet or transitioned away from pretending it's platonic. But one reason I envision them as Not Quite There But Definitely Going To Be, that I've rarely seen mentioned thus far, is something I would never have guessed from pop culture or even fandom osmosis.

Early in the series, Kirk explicitly states that he considers his crew completely off-limits in a romantic context. This ethical restriction applies only to him and not any other senior officers. Throughout the rest of the series, we're told and shown that Starfleet does not forbid fraternization among crew members of different ranks. Kirk himself says that it would be fine for Spock to have a romantic relationship with Janice Rand, just not Kirk.

And moreover, Kirk never does voluntarily enter a romantic relationship with any crew member. He and Janice Rand have a mutual infatuation for awhile that both handle with as much professionalism as possible. The closest thing to an openly romantic interaction with a crew member is probably Kirk kissing Helen Noel after Helen and Dr. Adams artificially screwed around with his memories and feelings—but we discover in the process that he was the one who refused to do more than dance at the Christmas party, when he backed off and scrupulously talked about space while Helen was the one with the unsentimental sex fantasy who keeps pushing his boundaries even in the present. That's why he's so unusually hostile; they were never together, even as a fling, and she hasn't taken no for an answer.

I guess Kirk and Mulholl agreeing to be possessed by married aliens for a final goodbye kiss is sort of ...? I mean. You get it, sometimes there's some sci-fi plot device, but nothing real and nothing while he has full control of his body and mind.

Kirk's real exes are all former long-term girlfriends, most of them also part of Starfleet and professionals in science or science-adjacent fields, but never crew members.

It's not 100% clear in TOS if the repeated statements and suggestions about lack of Starfleet restrictions on fraternization except wrt the captain is Starfleet policy, or just Kirk's personal stance. Kirk says he's not allowed to have a relationship of that kind with Janice Rand in "The Naked Time," but he's contracted the disease by then and it's part of a generally unhinged ramble. It's later stated that romance isn't forbidden on Starfleet vessels, but that's about crew romances in general and not the captain in particular. So it's difficult to know the real source of the ethical prohibition. Maybe there are actual regulations around this (makes sense) or maybe it's just a hard ethical line that Kirk has independently chosen for himself (also makes sense), but when he's functional and autonomous enough to be held responsible for his actions, this is a line he does not cross.

The point here is that, while I don't remotely blame other K/S fans for ignoring this inconvenient fraternization detail, Spock is a member of Kirk's crew. Yes, he's a senior officer and the highest-ranking person on the ship after Kirk himself, so maybe it wouldn't be as egregious as with someone else—but then again, maybe Kirk propositioning Spock would be considered even more unethical than propositioning Janice, since Janice at least has other authorities over her, while Spock answers directly to Kirk in the chain of command and will do virtually anything Kirk tells or asks him to do.

Kirk and Spock's relationship is intense and [gestures] everything enough that there are scenarios where I could imagine Kirk dropping this otherwise non-negotiable ethical line (the classic is, of course, "Spock's human heritage makes his pon farr cycle erratic and it comes back early ... oh no..."). I don't think we've seen any such scenario during TOS, though.

In any case, I feel like Kirk is unlikely to proposition Spock either romantically or sexually during the five-year mission. After years of constant proximity and yearning and ostensibly platonic hijinks and assuming it would never happen, I could see his resolve crumbling if Spock tried to initiate a romance with him. But that is also unlikely throughout most of TOS, because of Spock's own hang-ups around emotion and attachment—he's struggling with shame over feeling basic friendly affection, and in reality he feels far more than that.

I also don't think their true preferences when it comes to love, or their sense of what love really is for them, are inclined towards casual/undefined relationships or even poly relationships. So I don't personally envision them as FWBs or in a "they were in love but not taking it that seriously" scenario; I don't think either situation would be all that probable or desirable for them. They're both conspicuously jealous of anything or anyone that could possibly compete with their own absolute centrality in each other's lives; Spock never so much as kisses anyone without being dubconned into it and is guilty about having friends; Kirk's entire sexual history when it's not For The Mission is consistently geared towards long-term and sentimentally romantic relationships. Kirk supplies a very clear, emphatic description of love as he understands it:

Is he important to you, more important than anything? Is he as though he were a part of you? [...] But you can't really love him. You haven't the slightest knowledge of love, the total union of two people.

Kirk understands impossible/forbidden love in terms of some fundamental separation from a single beloved, being perpetually apart from them and unable to achieve the kind of absolute joining of lives and minds that he regards as love. (In some ways, this seems an incredibly Vulcan perspective on love, which, well.)

I think he and Spock are close to crossing the last barriers to that point of absolute union by "Turnabout Intruder," given their extreme intimacy as well as the very real possibility of grafting their lives and minds to each other in the way both pretty clearly crave. But I feel like there are only two ways it can really happen: 1) some wildly fortunate circumstance makes it ethically justifiable for Kirk to approach Spock, or 2) Spock makes the first move, which means that unless they're just randomly very lucky, everything hangs on him coming to terms with himself.

Then again, I also think Spock's arc across the show is building towards a point where he is coming to terms with himself in that way, with asserting what he wants, what bothers him, and what he's willing to reach for or accept. By the finale, I can believe he's truly on the point of getting there.

The movies hit the reset and retcon buttons hard, but taking TOS by itself as aired, the arc of their relationship and its development over the course of the show feels more hopeful to me. I can believe that S3 Spock has grown into himself enough to get to the point he needs to be at to make the first ("first") move before much longer. This is the Spock who essentially told Starfleet to go fuck themselves because they wouldn't let him jeopardize a fraught diplomatic situation to search for Kirk, told Sulu to scan for Kirk for potentially years, then defied explicit orders and tracked him down personally. There is very little he wouldn't do for Kirk by S3.

Kirk, meanwhile, has never been anything but 1000% receptive to whatever Spock is willing to give him; he spends a significant portion of TOS looking like he's about to dissolve into hearts at eye contact and a slight mouth twitch from Spock, if that. By S3, though, he's visibly more ground-down and tired, he's been put through further horrors that he often only escaped via his intimacy with Spock, and he's increasingly desperate for real connection. I can believe that at this point, he'd finally be at "fuck it" if Spock's love was on the table.

So I don't think that during the time period of TOS, their romance is formalized at all, or even acknowledged, or that they have a sexual relationship beyond the turbo-charged UST and frequent physical contact (to a degree that seems likely obscene on Vulcan. but as Spock no doubt justifies to himself, they're not on Vulcan). But I also think that by the end of the show, their dynamic has moved towards a stage where the shift to an unambiguously romantic relationship, even if hidden, feels inevitable and imminent. I genuinely feel like they're so close to full honesty with each other at this point that it can't be long, and that's with over a year of the mission left.

[butterflydm]

Wheel of Time 3x01 - to race the shadow

This will probably be messier than normal since it was a livestream, but here we go.

Okay, first we have the cold open, which we've seen already, but it's still great.

Are Verin and Adelas the oldest Sisters in the Tower?

Maksim also is the one who guesses that there are likely more Darkfriends among the Aes Sedai.

Maksim and Ivhon do kill at least two of the Black Ajah Sisters, I believe, and almost kill Liandrin, so all the people going "what's even the point of Warders?" There you go.

So Joiya and the other Yellow were sent to nab Siuan for Liandrin (and Lanfear by extension). But Moiraine saves Siuan.

It looks like Alanna-Maksim-Ihvon had a three-way bond! Foreshadowing for the future, maybe? Maksim seemed to feel the loss of Ihvon in his head just like Alanna did.

I think I counted six dead (or not moving) Sitters among the debris.

Love all the talk of prophecy and Callandor, and Mat spouting the Old Tongue (Mat DOES need healing of some kind but not because of the dagger!).

At the start of the episode, our babies all want to stay together (well, I think Perrin is already thinking of going home, but the other four are all planning to stick together) but events show them they need to split up.

Mat basically says "Come play with me!" to Rand and Perrin here, very cute.

And the Maidens are following Rand around to protect him as the prospective Car'a'carn. Great dynamic for Rand & Avi at the start of their relationship. "You are a wetlander through and through." And her disappointment that he's not want she expected. Elayne puts a lot of emotional energy in this episode to try to get Rand & Aviendha to get along and be on the same page as each other.

While the boys chat, Egwene talks to Nynaeve and Elayne about Rand. We learn that Egwene is having a hard time dealing with physical touch right now (understandable) and she's having flashbacks every night.

During the chat with the boys, we learn that Rand and Egwene have not talked in depth about their relationship. They're sharing a room but not being physically intimate.

We get the note that the only people Aviendha smiles at are Elayne and Perrin (they did a good job building up to Avilayne's hookup before they part ways).

Rand tells Perrin & Mat about "Selene" but not that she was Lanfear.

We see Perrin, Rand, and Mat playing snakes and foxes together. Perrin tells Rand that he trusts Rand to make the right choice and Rand picks up from that that Perrin is planning on leaving and going back home.

Lanfear meeting secretly with Moiraine and Lan. Her calling Ishy "a gentle soul with big dreams." And she makes a deal with Lanfear that she'll look the other way while Lanfear tries to drive Rand's friends away from him and Rand to heading towards Tear (so Rand standing up to Moiraine in this episode is also him standing up to Lanfear by extension, though he doesn't know it). Lanfear blames "his friends" for holding him back, and the only thing she likes about Moiraine is her ruthlessness.

Lan doesn't like them going along with Lanfear's plan: "She betrayed them [the Forsaken], she'll betray us too."

Siuan shows up during the girltalk and kicks Elayne out after reminding her that she better go back to the Tower in the morning to avoid a diplomatic incident. So Elayne knows she only has one night of freedom before she's back to training.

Rand told the group about what Siuan did to him: communication!

Egwene making her Accepted Test what she demands to "go back" to the White Tower was a good way of getting Egwene's Test to happen without taking up too much time.

Elayne sends a message to her mom and to "a Tairen lady" (and that one she explicitly tells Rand later is about trying to ease the way for him when he goes to Tear).

We get another Avilayne moment and Elayne gives Avi advice about Rand -- tells her to give him a chance and let him prove himself.

Rand listens to Loial about prophecy, figuring that he might want an army before he goes to Tear, and then Elayne comes in. I liked their talk a lot. It's this talk with Elayne that gets Rand to decide to go to the Waste, because she explains the benefits of it to him (and also basically tells HIM to give AVI a chance, the same way she did with Aviendha earlier). She makes him smile and touches his arm. It's all we're going to get but it's probably as good as we can get considering that Randgwene are still together.

"Andor will always be a friend to the Dragon Reborn. And so will I."

Egwene's Test being so short makes me think that we actually do maybe have a chance of seeing Elayne's before she leaves the Tower this season.

Also: Rand was definitely very far off his rocker in that Test.

Rand and Moiraine's confrontation is very good -- he doesn't say yet what he plans to do next, but I bet Elayne's advice is ringing in his ears. He misses home and wishes he could return with Perrin, but knows that Moiraine is right that he can't ever go there.

Lan going and getting his dad's sword, talking about the dangers of the Forsaken coming for all of them, not just Rand. We also got taught about power-wrought swords.

Elayne doing a drinking game for the people who aren't currently hooking up. Mat drinks to "seeing double and staying single."

Avilayne hook up here, knowing that they're going to separate in the morning. I think they set that up pretty well as something they were both into and they'd like to do it again, but nothing got established between the two of them as a relationship. Given that they are the ones who are single and in the same place, this works narratively, I think. I'm hoping we won't get too many of those people who are just like "throw the whole man out" when it comes to Rand getting involved, but I will brace myself lol.

Randgwene here feel pretty parallel to their scenes back in 1x01 and 1x07.

We learn more about what Mat is going through. Especially there's the "dying, over and over again." Nynaeve promises to help Mat, and so that's our reason for Mat staying in the Tower. Nynaeve needs to stay so that she can learn how to channel reliably, and Mat stays so that Nynaeve can help him.

So, Lanfear's 'bubble of evil' - there's the axe, where Bain or Chiad almost dies and is saved by Loial (I'll figure them out eventually lol), and so they have their own toh to that will take them to the Two Rivers, since Loial is going to give Perrin the shortcut through the Ways (I assume).

Mat got hypnotized by the cards (of the Heroes), it looks like. But Nynaeve got attacked by a Gray Man sent by Moghedien, so we had two Forsaken involved that night.

Now Rand's actual face (as the Rand from his Testing) is in Egwene's nightmares too.

I mean, at least Avilayne got a peaceful night.

I'm glad that everyone blames the Forsaken and not Rand. (I mean, Rand blames himself, but no one else blames him)

I like how angry Lan gets throughout this. We're seeing now a harder type of conflict for him -- his loyalty to Moiraine and to Nynaeve are coming into conflict.

And so now they split up (very sad about this, though I understand why) but reluctantly. Rand clasping Mat's shoulder there for a moment.

Lan gives his mother's ring to Nynaeve, letting her know that he understands why she needs to stay at the Tower.

Mat gives Rand his portrait, lol.

Avilayne's goodbye makes it pretty clear that it was a good night together and they'd like to see each other again if the pattern allows, but they didn't start a relationship that night

"Remember who you are, Rand al'Thor." Aw, Nynaeve's goodbye to Rand is very sweet. And one last joke between Mat & Rand before they part ways.

Aviendha looks very surprised that Rand is going against Moiraine and deciding to go to the Waste instead! I'd love to see them both referencing Elayne's advice to them as they potentially get along better, but even if they don't explicitly mention it, it's there in the background. Elayne pushed Aviendha to go easier Rand, pushing Rand not to be antagonist towards Aviendha, and pushed Rand to go after the Aiel prophecy before going to Tear. So that all made me pretty happy.

And we end on a check up on Moggy! She tortures a Whitecloak into being a Gray Man, I think. I wonder if she's going to be revealed as the creator of the Trollocs in this version, and she's merged with Aginor's background there.

[blank-potato]

Flowers for Bel Tine

Pairing: Rand al’Thor x Reader

Summary: You want to confess your feelings to Rand during the Bel Tine festival, but things don't quite go to plan.

A/N: I am writing this out of desperation because there are near next to no Rand al'Thor x Reader fanfics and I've searched every site. This fic is set in showverse, before season one and the ta'veren are 18. Also, I realised once I finished it that the Bel Tine tradition is actually that the girl is supposed to ask the guy to dance and the girl is supposed to put the flower in the guy's hair but for the sake of the fic and my sanity ignore canon.

❤︎❤︎❤︎

Nervous but excited was one way to describe how you were feeling. Bel Tine was fast approaching and you were finally ready to do something about certain unspoken feelings towards a certain redhead farm boy that had caught your eye as soon as you met.

It had been a bright, warm summer’s day when your family had arrived in Emond’s Field. A long journey, across distant lands, searching for a place to call home. You had found yourself missing everything you had once known—the rolling hills and sharp peaks of the Borderlands.

Sat on the edge of the village green, staring out at the landscape so unfamiliar and new, in your homesick haze and uncertain worries, a boy about your age appeared, standing right in front of you. His smile was shy but kind, just as nervous as you were, a basket of strawberries in hand and the best of intentions.

And from that moment on, you were infatuated with him—the lopsided grin, the way his red hair caught the sunlight, the quiet confidence he carried when he spoke, all the things that made him Rand al’Thor. But despite your feelings for him, he had relegated you to a "little sister" role. A relationship you once cherished but, as time passed and you grew older, began to resent.

As he grew into the man that you were so deeply in love with, it became clear to most people around the two of you how much you longed for him. But Rand was none the wiser, being as dense as a rock and as clueless as a lamb on shearing day when it came to girls.

However for the past few months, you had been working on making your feelings as clear as you could without embarrassing yourself and now, finally, the day had arrived where your hard work would either pay off or come crashing down like a poorly built haystack.

The festival was in full swing. Lanterns swayed gently in the evening breeze, music and laughter carrying on the air. You had always loved this time of year when the village came alive in a way it rarely did otherwise.

Your heart was abuzz with nerves and anticipation as if a fire had been lit under your feet.  Your eyes leave the window and focus on Egwene as she picks out flowers to put in your hair. The flowers represented that there was someone she was interested in, an old Bel Tine tradition, you would not fail to use to your advantage.

“Who are you hoping to attract with these?” Egwene asks as she gently braids the flowers into your hair. She had a mischievous twinkle in her eye, her tone teasing but affectionate.

“I fear I should rather die than tell you,” you reply immediately and you can say with all certainty that you mean them.

“Die? How dramatic of you.”

"I only speak the truth, Egwene. So, who are your flowers for, then?" you say with a playful lilt.

Egwene takes a long, measured breath, but lets it out slowly, a sigh that sounds like she’s giving up on answering her own question.

"That's what I thought."

❤︎❤︎❤︎

As the festival is in full swing, you feel your pulse quicken as you stand at the edge of the dancing circle, enjoying the festivities from a safe distance. You see him from across the green, your face heating up at just the thought of approaching him... but song after song plays, and you remain in the same position you’ve been in for over half an hour.

Catching glimpses of him, disappearing in and out of the crowd, you feel both excitement and dread tightening your chest.

Mat comes up to you, a playful smirk already plastered on his face.

“If I were a betting man, I’d say you had become a statue.”

“Oh hush, Mat.”

“I haven’t seen you move from this position for what feels like forever. Are you not planning on dancing tonight?” he pauses, taking in your appearance, particularly the flowers in your hair. “Or are you waiting for a special someone?”

You load up a sarcastic remark, but it dies in your throat when your eyes drift back out to the crowd and land on Rand. His hand is in Egwene’s, their smiles directed at each other as they sway to the music.

The voices around you fade into nothingness, and a sharp ache pierces your chest. Suddenly, it was just the two of them, and there was nothing but the stark, painful clarity of what you’d been too blind to see all along. The voice in your head berates you for being so foolish, for being so blind to what had been in front of you the whole time.

Her. 

It had always been her.

You don’t even let Mat finish his sentence before you excuse yourself in a hurry, your heart heavy in your chest, your breaths shallow, as you feel so utterly small and exposed.

You run out towards the woods, needing somewhere quiet to hide, somewhere to let the tears fall unnoticed.

The songs play on into the night, quieter now in the distance from where you’ve taken refuge. You hug yourself tightly, your arms wrapping around your body like vines, trying to keep from unravelling entirely.

You start to unbraid your hair, picking out flower after flower, each one discarded at your feet in frustration.

“Whole lot of good it did me…” you mutter bitterly, tossing another flower to the ground.

Just then, a voice breaks through the stillness.

“Whole lot of good what did you?”

You glance up to see Rand standing there, his brows drawn in confusion and concern. Taking notice of the flowers scattered on the forest floor in front of you and the loose petals still tangled in your hair, he asks, “Who is he?” His voice is low, a deep warmth beneath the hesitancy that sends shivers through your body. But you feign ignorance, unwilling to make yourself even more vulnerable.

“What?”

“The man that has your heart,” he clarifies, stepping closer.

“Does it matter? He didn’t ask me to dance…” you say, your voice trembling despite your best efforts.

Rand sits next to you, his presence grounding yet inexplicably nerve-wracking. He looks at you intently, his expression unreadable but earnest.

“Then what a fool he must be.”

You find yourself bitterly smiling at the irony, shaking your head. “You don’t believe me?” Rand continues, his knees now knocking into your own.

“You are the most brilliant, strong, and beautiful person I know. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” his words were full of sincerity, and you swear your heart stopped for a moment. Looking away from his intense, unwavering gaze, you try to collect yourself and your emotions. These were the words of a friend consoling another friend, and you had to remind yourself of that.

Finding issue in you looking away from him, he reaches up towards your tear-stained face and gently turns it back to him. His touch is soft, despite the callouses of his work-worn hands, and something about it felt comforting, like home. It took everything in you in that moment not to fall apart completely, not to give in to what felt so right.

“You should go…”

“And leave you like this?”

“Your being here is causing me more pain than it would if you were gone…”

You watched as his face twisted into a look of confusion. The dam of your feelings was so close to overflowing. Too long had you kept your love for him secret, if you didn't let him know now…you fear you never would.

“It is unbearable,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the weight of your confession.

“Being in love with you is unbearable. Whether you are near or far, my heart reaches out to you like a flower to the sun, longing for its warmth.”

“In love with me–?” Rand starts but you cut him off with a strangled chuckle.

“I thought I had… But you and Egwene—” you say before you’re cut off by a sudden, firm interruption from Rand.

“Me and Egwene?”

“I saw you with her.”

“There’s been a misunderstanding, a grave one,” he says, his voice full of urgency as he takes your hands in his.

You look into his eyes and think the emotion there must be pity. It had to be pity; there was no other explanation.

“You don’t need to protect me. I understand… and I’m happy for you both.”

"No, no, I was just giving Egwene and Perrin a little push. Jealousy works wonders…" he says softly. “But if I had known…I would’ve told you long ago that my heart beats for you too.”

“You were right.”

Rand gives you a look of confusion, his brows furrowed slightly. “Right about what?”

“You really are a fool,” you say with a soft, watery chuckle, before pulling him in for a long-awaited kiss.

As his hands find themselves wrapped up in your hair, his touch is careful, reverent, and full of the unspoken words you’d been waiting to hear. It feels like everything you’d ever hoped for.

Masterlist

[highladyluck]

Wheel of Time Season 3 Episode 4 (kind-of-a) Liveblog

FUCK THAT ORB SPECIFICALLY

I think they nailed it.

This is not precisely a liveblog because I'm writing up my thoughts immediately after, but whatever.

My spouse was like 'how are they going to compensate for us having spent less time with the Aiel than in the books, and knowing them less well?' and I think they did a lot to show the stakes of oaths and swords for the Aiel both right before the pillars and during them. I'd be curious to know how it went for non-book-readers!

Some of the mishmash of influences for the Aiel that RJ drew on was aurally and visually referenced in a way it hasn't been previously; the Wise Ones and the 3 silver rings are very aggressively Dune references, but the new stuff includes visual references to Travellers/Roma, Irish accents, and Jewish kippah-esque headcoverings. (Also, as my Jewish spouse said, 'the moving to the desert and then doing war crimes'.) That's only half the stuff that RJ used to make the Aiel, but we kind of already got the Bedouin & Native American influences, and I know there's probably more I'm forgetting. But it's great to see the references spelled out in a new medium.

I also appreciated that the visions were a little more personally emotionally devastating, and tbh given the very late-series developments re: the pillars, I actually think it's ok that Rand got shown stuff from after the founding of Rhuidean, even though it's not strictly canonical. Seeing the immediate aftermath of his birth served an important story purpose and I like that it caused Rand emotional damange. :) It always bugged me in the books that Rand kinda cheats his way through the glass columns since he doesn't have the same cultural upbringing as the Aiel; the trial doesn't test the same qualities or go as hard for him. He's on easy mode. The vision of his parents + the hobbit-y 3 besties addition evoking Mat and Perrin seems specifically designed to increase the psychic damage, which is juicier to watch and makes it more fair.

It made sense that they used Latra as a stand-in for every named Aes Sedai- I forget if that's canonical or not but it makes sense to condense those roles.

I hate how hot the Aiel version of Rand who gets the Sakarnen is. I don't want to think Rand is hot. But that haircut and uniform is really working for me. (Also I love that he's got a boyfriend/husband and did you see their rings??? They looked kind of like the show's Great Serpent rings!)

I love to see the Sharom explode. :D Fuck that orb specifically. Give it the fire exits they never deigned to build in!

I also love how it's really ambiguous whether Mierin actually intended to let the Dark One wreak havoc or not (as it should be!) I lean towards yes, she exploded everything on purpose to serve the DO/herself, but that's my pre-show opinion. She got her Aiel servant out with some pretty portentous words about being with loved ones, and Lanfear likes to say she's strategic about violence (although Lanfear's idea of being strategic or her idea of appropriate violence might not be, uh, baseline.) The big event being supposed to happen the next day is ambiguous- she could have made sure he wasn't inside and then triggered it, or it could have been an accident, either thing is supported. And even the portentous words about being with loved ones could just be her pining after LTT, and that's where all the weight comes from. So I think you can view it either way, and if you come down on a specific side it's because you have a previous opinion/bias one way or the other. Which I think is the right tack for the show to take!

The tattoo materialization was really cool. Honestly, the visuals were very very cool. The pillars were about what I imagined, and I LOVED the silver rings- they were exactly what I imagined and the suspensions were so visually arresting. I wish we'd seen more of the weird semi-AoL-ness of the city, but I'll settle for the Romanesque statue and Avendesora surrounded by like, fancy parking bollards. We already front-loaded the visual modernity of the AoL so it's less necessary to do it in Rhuidean. (That said, I did enjoy the very modern setting where Latra handed over Sakarnen- it looks like the outer edges of a modernist art museum.)

The show did some really effective 'speaking in unison' moments this episode- both the banishing of the dead and the Hirschhorn parking garage oath sounded great, evoked a religious mood, and were genuinely moving.

I also liked that the Laman backstory was shared between Moiraine and Rand- the books never really tugged too hard on the familial connections between all these characters so I'm happy to see Rand reacting to it. It's also funny that Moiraine is the one to steal a cultural artifact from the Aiel* this time, rather than Rand, and that Moiraine gets to get fireman-carried out of the Waste in lieu of Mat. (*To be fair, it did originally belong to the Aes Sedai, so she's not pulling a full British Museum, but my spouse is right that the Aes Sedai are basically the British Museum.)

Again, I think they nailed it and it was a very compelling episode. I hope it wins an award- I'm going to have to make sure I'm a voting member of Worldcon in time to nominate it for the 2025 TV episode Hugo. (2024 nominations are happening soon, or have just happened, I think.)

[markantonys]

My Mom Reacts To: wheel of time season 3 episodes 5-8 (no book spoilers)

season 1 (book spoilers)

season 2 episodes 1-4 (no book spoilers)

season 2 episodes 5-8 (book spoilers)

season 3 episodes 1-4 (no book spoilers)

3x05

since i'd already watched the episodes on our account back when they came out, the player attempted to pick up where i'd left off and opened this up at the very end of the episode and so my mom saw a few seconds of the egwene-lanfear-rand cliffhanger scene as i was frantically trying to pause and rewind, so she knew that was coming haha but even at this initial glimpse she wasn't shocked or anything, perhaps because while it was loading she was reading out the episode summary about "egwene learns rand's dark secret" and asked "what's rand's dark secret?" and i said "guess" and she said "lanfear" and i said "yes. oh, maybe i shouldn't have told you that."

as soon as they showed cold rocks hold, she started wondering about how the aiel survive with so little water and seemingly no place to grow food. once again, a woman after robert jordan's own heart! she wants to know all the little anthropological details!

she went "oh! he has different wives?" but that was her only comment on the aiel polyamory loredrop

elaida: i know what you are. river trash. mom: TUH!

"i feel like egwene suffers so much" -mom seemingly apropos of nothing (egwene was just sitting in the temple talking to the wise ones), but maybe thinking of the spoiled end of the episode lmao

she finds all the dream lore stuff very confusing. i do too! thankfully, she only asked me basic-level questions that i knew how to answer.

my dad loved elaida's dramatic hand-flick shooing motion when she was sending the novice away from adeleas haha

mat: [runs out of the ship cabin after being repeatedly told not to, while elayne yells at him to stop] mom: mat is always doing the wrong thing. every episode, someone is saying "mat, don't do that!"

Mat Cauthon: A Summary

"that doesn't really look like him" critiquing min's art skills

multiple mentions throughout theses episodes about how concerned she is by the prospect of these four young people haring off on a dangerous mission all by themselves. she would definitely be the kind of person to go "but where are their parents??" when reading a YA fantasy book.

min: no eye contact mat: [stares at the hanged man] mom: no eye contact, mat!!!!! me: it's a corpse mom: oh

when whitecloaks appear onscreen: "i don't like these people"

mom: so elaida's not black ajah me: no mom: then why is she siuan's enemy? me: she can be her enemy without being a darkfriend mom: [sighs] i guess that's true

once again she is distressed by how many different factions of Bad Guys there are

the cauthon girls: perrin what's happened to your eyes? mom: i don't think that would be the first thing i'd notice right now me: you wouldn't notice if someone you used to know suddenly had bright golden eyes??? mom: well, it's dark in here

perrin: i thought you were a good man dain: I WAS!!!!! dad: [chuckles] that's a good answer

rand: [gives his earnest speech about how he believes lanfear can be a good person again] mom: [sadly] oh rand, you have rose-colored glasses

so! she doesn't seem to blame rand about the whole randfear situation (perhaps because seeing the ending kiss scene first helped prepare her, perhaps because all my rand sympathy seed-planting in the first half of the season was successful, perhaps because the "this naive young man is getting preyed on" angle comes across more clearly to the middle-aged mom demographic than it does to some other demographics who dismiss it as cut-and-dry rand-fault cheating. who can say?)

and at various points in the episode she asked "what does lanfear want, just to rule everything?" and "does she actually love him or is she just saying that?" so i don't think she has ever been taken in by lanfear's tricks for one second even though many viewers did feel swayed by her "i want to break my dark oaths" schtick haha my mom never has any time for the forsaken's sob stories, like when she went "so kill yourself then" while ishy was delivering his sadboy nihilism monologue. WOT if my mom was a ta'veren: 1 book

mom as egwene is preparing to give moiraine a ride to a meeting: how are they traveling around to these places? me: they're going there in a dream dad: which is the only way anyone seems to travel anywhere in this show

mom while moiraine and siuan are kissing: .........is egwene still watching all this?

during the montage of all the friends' dreams she asked if this was halfway through the season because "it feels like they're giving us a recap" (but i reminded her that last episode was the halfway point)

speaking of last episode, before we started this one she said that she liked that episode because it was only about one plotline so it was easier to keep track of what was going on

3x06

"i vaguely remember him" about thom

mom during the weird moggy montage: what is she doing???? me: she's just really weird idk

when egwene pushed the wise ones out of her dream my mom gasped and thought egwene had destroyed them

rand: do i kill egwene? mom: [gasp] is that prophesized???? me: no he's just worried it might happen when he goes mad dad: it can't be prophesized if she [moiraine] keeps saying things will happen "sometimes"

(it felt dishonest to transcribe that sentence more efficiently as my dad saying "moiraine" himself, because i need you to know he does not know a single name of any character in this show)

faile talking about her backstory: she killed him mom: her own son???? faile: her own son mom: oh, i guess if i'd just waited a second

mom: does elayne stay good forever? me, incapable of shrugging mysteriously and letting her think elayne might become evil: yes she does mom: oh good. it's hard to get invested in characters when i'm always afraid they'll turn out to be evil.

mom after the hills of tanchico: i thought they were trying to be subtle

she liked "i don't mind strange" and faile's reaction to finding out mat blew the horn, but was feeling wary about her. "i don't know if this is a good thing or not" when faile and perrin kissed, then in the next episode she asked 1) is faile secretly evil? and 2) will perrin kill her by accident like he did his wife? and i told her no on both counts, sometimes i've just got to spoil her for the sake of soothing her worries haha

even after the kiss she referred to faile as "perrin's new friend". diversity win: straight couple gets "and they were roommates" treatment

after all my wondering, she ended up having absolutely zero reaction to or comment on the randgwene breakup! oh well, i don't think she minds it or blames rand too much at least, or else she would've said Something, and she definitely seemed fond of both rand and egwene throughout the season, so maybe it came through fairly successfully as a balanced No Bad Guys breakup for her.

3x07

she was so happy to see the s1 tuatha'an again!

perrin: it may be the season of falling leaves, but when people see how bare the trees are, they'll long for spring mom: [chuckles] when did he get so wise?

someone mentioned lord luc and she went "who????" lmaoooo he really was such a "go girl give us nothing" character this season

i've had to go "that's the son of the guy whose dad perrin killed" just about every time for dain's first scene per episode, she never remembers who he is

she also asked "who's that?" about egwene's mom no joke at least 5-6 times during this episode

in loial's first scene this episode she was like "i want him to have more to do, he's one of my favorites" and i was internally thinking "well, she's about to get her wish............."

ila: there is no leaf without the seed dad: they have a lot of weird sayings in this show

"since they have two rivers nearby, why don't they just dig a moat around the village to keep the trollocs from entering?" perrin come hire my mom as your new strategist

dad about alanna taking out a huge chunk of the army with her hailstorm: "that feels like cheating somehow"

my mom was very sad about loial! but she figured it was coming because "angels started singing" right before his final moments.

me: he doesn't die in the books, but in a show you can't keep as many characters around forever, so that's why they killed him off here mom: but they don't understand that he's my favorite character

then i said "what about lan?" and she said "he's a different kind of favorite character" haha and she went on to say that she liked loial for his comic relief and also because he was a scholar who showed the importance of books and stories in a world full of warriors and battles. RIP loial!

she does not believe for one second that padan fain will keep his promise to perrin and thinks he'll be coming right back to attack again sooner or later

mom taking stock of the battle results: so, Worst Whitecloak is dead and Peddler escaped and is still alive

3x08

mom about the amyrlin election: it's like the conclave for the new pope

leane to siuan: you haven't once told me how you know this mom: i guess she can't exactly say "somebody told me in a dream" can she?

when sammael says lews therin gave him his scar: "lews therin is something to do with rand right?" oh mom

moggy to liandrin: mistress has been very busy mom: she sounds like gollum

mat and nynaeve: [put on their veils to follow liandrin] dad: [scoffs] THOSE are their disguises?

mom about lanfear's little wedding dress number for her meeting with rand: she always has the best costumes

moiraine: we leave for alcair dal mom: where? me: just some other location don't worry about it

mat: [making for the doorway] min: mat wait! mom: he never LISTENS! he's so ANNOYING!

but then him yelling at the eelfinn about being sick of every magical force on the planet got a hearty chuckle, so it's not all losses for mat in her esteem haha

she was worried about thom dying because she "likes his voice"

mom about min's CPR: i can't believe that worked

she was upset with nynaeve for not hiding or disguising herself while waiting for the others, solidarity with @butterflydm haha

dad when nynaeve parts the sea: too bad no one else is around to see how cool this is mom: too bad liandrin isn't around to see that she needs to try harder!

she said fondly "he's gotten so smart" about rand at some point during his convo with moiraine

mom when lanfear shows up in her Ultra Goth Supreme getup: who's that? me: lanfear mom: oh. she looks different every scene!

my dad likened the Dueling Car'a'carn Presentation to a gameshow lmao

mom had a moment of panic thinking lan might die, so i had to blurt out that he was not going to die

mom: he made it rain in the desert? the other guy's gonna have a hard time topping that!

she's getting very concerned about rand doing big channelings since it will bring him closer and closer to madness every time he does. the show's done a good job emphasizing those stakes for viewers!

after it was over she said "so many good guys died this season! i'm so upset!" in the same sentence as asking hopefully if there would be an s4 haha

later that evening: "i really hope they do more seasons, because i'm not reading all those books". i hope so too!

[yourreddancer]

FROM PUBLIC CITIZEN

On Friday night, 50 United States senators — all of them Republicans — voted to put our nation’s security in the hands of a man who is laughably unqualified.

Except it could not be less funny.

With a tie-breaking vote from Vice President JD Vance, Pete Hegseth will now be Secretary of Defense.

Pete Hegseth isn’t qualified to be shift leader at a Dairy Queen (nothing against Dairy Queen). Putting him in charge of the entire United States military is a perversion — and every one of the 50 senators who voted for him knows it.

So why did they do it?

Because they were afraid that if they did the right thing and rejected Hegseth, Donald Trump would back someone else in their next election, and assistant president Elon Musk would spend millions to defeat them.

That’s why Trump defended his nominee so aggressively once news reports indicated how horrible Hegseth’s record is. It was a test. “Look how much they fear me.” “Look how willing they are to prostrate themselves at my feet.” “Look what I’ve turned them into.”

It’s really quite pathetic how craven and insecure they are.

Especially considering that even if they did lose their seats, ex-senators do pretty well. There are cushy positions on corporate boards or as high-paid lobbyists. There are deals to be had for books, podcasts, and speaking gigs. There are roles as pundits and hosts on Fox “News.” There are shady right-wing nonprofits and “think tanks” to run. There are car dealerships and cryptocurrencies to profit from. And on and on and on.

But no, these 50 senators were so afraid of Trump and so addicted to the illusion of political power (we say “illusion” because in reality they have forsaken any actual power in abject fealty to Trump) that they were willing to put Hegseth in charge of the $900 billion Pentagon, its 3 million employees, and all its warfighting capacity.

This is a man who has shown himself unable to run a small nonprofit. A man about whom there are credible reports of excessive drinking and out-of-control behavior. And a man against whom there are multiple allegations of sexual assault and domestic violence.

This is also a man who refused in his confirmation hearing to renounce the use of torture. A man who at his hearing was unaware of a major international alliance. And a man who has argued that women should not serve in combat roles.

Let’s not forget that for generations, it is Republicans who have held themselves out as the party that supports the military and is “strong on defense.”

In case you think your senator would never jeopardize America’s national security, here are the 50 Republican senators who just sold out our troops, our veterans, and our country:

Jim Banks, Indiana John Barrasso, Wyoming Marsha Blackburn, Tennessee John Boozman, Arkansas Katie Britt, Alabama Ted Budd, North Carolina Shelley Capito, West Virginia Bill Cassidy, Louisiana John Cornyn, Texas Tom Cotton, Arkansas Kevin Cramer, North Dakota Michael Crapo, Idaho Ted Cruz, Texas John Curtis, Utah Steve Daines, Montana Joni Ernst, Iowa Deb Fischer, Nebraska Lindsey Graham, South Carolina Charles Grassley, Iowa Bill Hagerty, Tennessee Joshua Hawley, Missouri John Hoeven, North Dakota Jon Husted, Ohio Cindy Hyde-Smith, Mississippi Ron Johnson, Wisconsin Jim Justice, West Virginia John Kennedy, Louisiana James Lankford, Oklahoma Mike Lee, Utah Cynthia Lummis, Wyoming Roger Marshall, Kansas Dave McCormick, Pennsylvania Ashley Moody, Florida Jerry Moran, Kansas Bernie Moreno, Ohio Markwayne Mullin, Oklahoma Rand Paul, Kentucky Pete Ricketts, Nebraska James Risch, Idaho Mike Rounds, South Dakota Eric Schmitt, Missouri Rick Scott, Florida Tim Scott, South Carolina Tim Sheehy, Montana Dan Sullivan, Alaska John Thune, South Dakota Thom Tillis, North Carolina Tommy Tuberville, Alabama Roger Wicker, Mississippi Todd Young, Indiana

(Here are the three Republican senators who did not vote for the charlatan: Susan Collins, Maine; Mitch McConnell, Kentucky; Lisa Murkowski, Alaska.)

If you are feeling angry and/or fearful about what it will mean to have someone as devastatingly unqualified and dangerous as Pete Hegseth running the Department of Defense, join Public Citizen in a message to the 50 senators who just voted for exactly that.

Those who serve in uniform, our nation’s veterans, the hundreds of thousands of civilians who work in the military, and — most crucially of all — every single American deserve better (far better) than Pete Hegseth. You have put us all in harm’s way for no reason other than your own cowardice in the face of Donald Trump. Shame on you.

Click to add your name now.

Thanks for taking action.

For progress,

- Robert Weissman & Lisa Gilbert, Co-Presidents of Public Citizen

[skyholly]

blood runs thicker than water

Summary:

"She often found herself staring into the painting in the salon. It almost felt like looking into a mirror."

Guinevere's reflection holds more than her own face, and it threatens to reveal Moiraine and Siuan's most preciously kept secret.

moiraine/siuan

rand/ofc

Chapter 10, Book I: Epilogue

The sky over Toman Head burned gold and crimson, and the sea winds carried the scent of salt and distant smoke as Guinevere half-dragged, half-supported Rand down a narrow path between crumbling stone buildings. His steps were uneven, stumbling upon every single cobblestone, but his hand was firm where it clutched her arm, kind and steady. She could still feel the warmth in her forehead, where he had so sweetly laid a kiss just moments ago. The action had sent shivers down her spine, as it reminded her of the overbearing truth she had so recently uncovered. 

They were doomed, the two of them. In this life and every other. Guinevere knew she ought to stay away from him, she had promised herself doing so, but she hadn’t been able to leave him, surrounded by people she couldn’t fully trust. Or could she? My mind is a mess. The only thing Guinevere was certain of is that they had to wait for Moiraine, she’d know what to do now; the Aes Sedai was their best possible guidance. Guinevere sighed, as she pulled Rand closer to her. 

The boy’s face was pale, eyes wide and watery. He hadn’t said a word since they’d escaped Tommen’s Head, amidst chaos and frolics, his silence only broken by the rasp of his breath. Whether from exhaustion, shock, or terror, Guinevere couldn’t say, but she was betting on all three. 

“Stay with me,” she murmured, pleading almost, as she tugged Rand into the shadowed alley behind an all but collapsed bakery. The narrow passage was bursting with debris, but it gave them enough cover to slip out of sight. “We can’t risk the streets—not now. If anyone recognises you…” Guinevere shook her head, “there’s an inn just ahead,” she whispered, peering around the corner. “It looks quiet enough—if we’re lucky, no one there will care about who you are.” Or what you are , she didn’t add.

The inn’s weathered sign creaked over their heads, nearly ripped from its hinges by the raging winds. Inside, the common room was as good as empty, the air thick with the scent of damp sand and spilled ale. The place was old, and filthy beyond her experience, but it would serve her purpose just right. The odds of someone looking for them there were thin.  

Guinevere softly nudged Rand into a corner seat near the fire, and he didn’t argue, just let her lead him, one arm around his waist to keep him steady as they stumbled through the side entrance. There were only a few weary travelers huddled at the far end of the room, their voices hushed. The innkeeper barely glanced at them, too preoccupied with scrubbing the bar, though Guinevere caught the flicker of suspicion in her eye.

“Stay here,” she said softly, once the boy had sat down, as she brushed a damp strand of hair from his forehead. “I’ll get us a room.”

Rand didn’t respond, only gave a faint nod, his gaze distant—as if seeing something far beyond the walls of the inn. She wondered what he was thinking about. Was it killing Ishamael? Being proclaimed the Dragon? Seeing his friends battle for his life? That ought to stir any sane person’s mind. 

Is he? Sane?

Still, she doubted any of such matters could pull him so far away from reality. The mere fact that she could pull him away from his friends without a single complaint from him remained a complete mystery to her. What is troubling that head of his?  

She had a way of getting him to tell her, but no, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t . Not to Rand. 

Guinevere approached the bar, leaning in to exchange quiet words with the innkeeper. Only when a small, crimson pouch—heavy with coin—was set between them did she finally turn, her gaze sweeping the room in search of Rand. Spotting him, she silently walked towards him and seized his arm, leading him up the stairs, down a damp hallway reeking of mold, until they reached a secluded, narrow room tucked away from prying eyes.

The latch settled into place with a dull click, the final barrier drawn between themselves and the storm-torn world outside. The air within the room was heavy, moist sea odor, abrasive of salt and the sweat of fear.

Rand stood next to the closed door, his face pale in the wavering candlelight, his hands hung loose at his sides, fingers curling and uncurling as though they longed to grip something , sword, fabric, perhaps her own hand, and dared not.

Guinevere stood beside the table, her fingers light upon the handle of the worn pitcher. There was nothing grand about the place, the bed was low and narrow, the blanket frayed, the wood of the floor uneven and swollen from years of damp. Yet the room seemed to press against her skin, growing smaller by the second, and a sense of unbearable confinement began running throughout her. Every inch of her body told her to run from him, to stay as far away as she could, to pull herself out of his life for the rest of her own, but she couldn’t bring herself to yield into such instincts. 

“Come you here,” she said at last, her voice low, but not unkind. “Lay yourself down, Rand. Your body is not yet whole, and you shall fare no better standing like some statue left in the rain.”

Rand’s lips curled in a humorless smile, but he obeyed, his limbs stiff, grace worn thin by weariness. He sat upon the edge of the bed, his head bowed, fingers lacing together between his knees. Guinevere knelt beside him, the floor cold beneath her, though she scarcely felt it.

First, she lifted his shirt, only the smallest bit, so she could take a better look at the injury caused by the dagger. She had Healed what she could, but it had remained a dark, vicious wound where the blade had broken his skin. Only time would cure such a thing. Guinevere softly placed his shirt down once again, and brought the jar into her arms. 

Rand looked so worn out, so tired. His gaze was set aimlessly on the floor, his mind immersed in chaos. She raised a trembling hand and placed it on his cheek, rubbing her thumb against his sand-eroded skin. He flinched, not from pain, but from the touch itself, the softness of it, the memory it carried. She had done this before, in another room, beneath another sky, when they had still been foolish enough to believe themselves masters of their fate. 

Guinevere dipped the cloth into the cool water, wringing it out with steady hands before running it gently down the side of Rand’s throat. His pulse fluttered beneath her fingertips, uneven, fragile, as though his body had yet to catch up with everything it had endured. She traced the damp cloth over his chest, then down to his hands, her touch slow and deliberate, as if she could smooth away the tremors that still lingered in his fingers. At last, she reached for his chin, tenderly tilting it upward, though his eyes kept avoiding hers.

She had already Healed everything within her power—every wound, every scrape. But some things could not be mended with the One Power. The mind left its own scars, ones even the strongest weave could not erase. Sure, she could take some of his tiredness away, but they both needed her as alert as possible. 

“You should sleep,” she finally murmured, softly patting the cold cloth over his forehead. 

Rand laughed, and the sound was soft and bitter. “I believe myself unable to catch any sleep as of now.”

“Well, I could help you with that.” Guinevere sighed, brushing a smear of ash away from his cheek, before she felt his palm over hers, softly pressing onto his skin. “Rand, what is it?” She asked, a worrisome frown showing on her face. “Rand?”

Only then did the boy lift his gaze, his eyes locking onto hers with a quiet intensity, as if searching her face for answers she could not give. His voice, when it came, was soft—almost weary, almost resigned. “What dreams would come for me now, do you think?” 

The cloth paused, as Guinevere’s breath hitched. She set it aside with a quivering motion, her hands folded in her lap. Dreams? Could it be…? No, that was impossible. 

“Don’t be silly,” she anxiously chuckled, “what… what dreams could come for you?” Guinevere attempted a smile, but it faltered before it could fully form. “Is it Lanfear? Are you afraid she’ll find you? Because I can protect you from it if—”

This time, it was Rand who seized her face, his grip firm yet trembling, forcing her to meet his gaze. In the flickering candlelight, his eyes burned—bright, feverish, relentless. “You have seen them.” 

There was no question in it.

“I—I’m afraid the fever might be speaking for you,” Guinevere said with a nervous whisper. “You really should get some sleep, Rand,” she insisted, pushing herself up, attempting to free herself from the approaching accusations. But before she could rise, his hand caught her wrist, holding her in place.

“Don’t lie to me, Gwen,” he whispered, his voice barely holding together, fraying at the edges like a thread pulled too thin. There was no anger in it, only quiet, aching desperation. “Not you.”

Guinevere’s eyes flooded with tears as she tore her gaze away, staring out the window. She bit down on her lip, hard enough to draw blood, desperate to silence the sob clawing its way up her throat. She couldn’t face him—not now. Her hands twisted together in her lap, trembling, knuckles white with the force of her grip. She hadn’t turned to face him yet, but she felt it—his hatred, sharp as a blade at her back. The silent, desperate plea woven beneath it, the longing for her to deny his words, to make it untrue. But she couldn’t. An Aes Sedai cannot lie.

“I—I have,” she choked out, her voice barely more than a whimper. Tears started to pool in her eyes, salty and abrasive, like everything else in this place. 

“How long?” Rand’s voice was a blade drawn slowly from the sheath, drenched in betrayal.

“Years,” Guinevere whispered, as teardrops threatened to fall through her cheeks. “S—since I was a child, I have seen them. Heard them,” she added, with a soft, harrowing murmur. 

Rand’s breath hissed through his teeth. He stood, too sudden, too unsteady, pacing the narrow room like a beast whose cage had shrunk too small. “You knew,” he said, voice trembling with the weight of it. “You knew what we were to each other, and you said nothing.”

“I knew not what it meant!” Guinevere rose as well, her fists at her sides. “Would you have had me come to you and say I dreamt of children not yet born? Would you have believed me, had I told you I knew their faces before I knew yours?”

“You might have tried,” Rand said, his voice rough. “You might have trusted me.”

“I trusted myself not,” she snapped. Tears were now pouring freely from her eyes, weary and rimmed with redness, carrying the exhaustion of it all. “I thought myself mad. I did not understand what these dreams meant, not until… not until Moiraine explained—”

His breath came hard and uneven, his hands curling into fists. “Moiraine… Moiraine!” He snapped, fist striking the wall. “You shouldn’t trust what that woman says—”

“No, Rand… Rand,” she urged him, closing the distance between them, her back to the door, placing her hands on his chest, in a foolish attempt to calm him down, “I do believe she is your best—”

“All she’s ever done is lie to me!” He yelled back. “Manipulate me into doing what she believes must be done. Who’s to say she���s not manipulating us now?”

Guinevere stepped back, her spine striking the door. She raised a trembling, accusatory finger towards him. “You’ve seen them, Rand.” She muttered, lips quivering in between salty tears. “Moiraine is not manipulating us. Lanfear isn’t either. Tell me, in truth, you don’t hear their screams. There is no one fooling ourselves but us now.”

Rand’s hand struck the door beside her head, not with violence, but with trembling desperation. “Then tell me to leave you be,” he said, and his voice was supposed to be an order but it didn’t quite manage to do so. “Command me, Guinevere.”

Her hands trembled where they rested against his chest. “Go,” she whispered, her voice breaking upon the single word. “Leave me. I don’t wish you near me.”

Rand’s fingers curled into her hair, tilting her face to his. “Liar,” he breathed, and then his mouth was on hers.

The kiss was not gentle, it was war, the clash of lips and breath, of memory and fear and a longing too ancient and to deny, they felt it deep in their bones. His hands clutched at her, tangling in her skirts, pulling her flush against him, her breasts crushed to his chest. Her nails raked his shoulders, and he only pressed closer, the ache of her fingers like proof of his reality.

Guinevere’s back struck the wall, and he pressed his body to hers, the force of his thigh parting her legs beneath her skirts. His hands were rough, tracing the line of her waist, finding the laces that bound her bodice and tugging with too much force, the fabric rasping apart.

She gasped against his mouth, but her hands found him in turn, unlacing his shirt, her fingers tracing the warm skin beneath it. His breath caught, and she felt the shiver race through him, not fear, not hesitation, but some terrible, aching relief.

They fell to the bed, as her skirts undid around her hips, his hand sliding beneath, fingers tracing the soft skin of her bare thigh. Her head fell back with a soft moan, exposing her throat, and his mouth found the curve of it, biting hard enough to mark her. She arched beneath him, nails digging into his back.

“I should know better,” she whispered, breathless.

“As I should know better,” he said, his mouth tracing the line of her collarbone. “Yet here we are.”

His fingers slid higher, finding the damp heat of her, and her gasp was sharp, her body arching into his hand. There was no gentleness in this, no slow seduction, only need, raw and clumsy and too long desired. His mouth found her breast, his tongue flicking over her nipple, his teeth grazing her skin just shy of pain.

Her hands fumbled at his belt, pushing his breeches down over his hips, her fingers finding him hard, burning hot in her palm. He groaned into her skin, his body shuddering against hers.

He entered her with no preamble, the stretch sharp, a gasp torn from her throat, his own breath ragged as he pressed into her, inch by inch, until there was no space left between them. 

Sweat clung to their bare skin, thick and sticky, pooling in the hollows of their bodies where they pressed together. The heat between them grew unbearable, the damp friction at their chests and thighs turning raw. Soon enough, neither could tell where the sweat ended and the tears began. Their hands clasped together above her head, fingers interlocked, bodies moving as though they had always known each other, not just in this life but in every life before. 

But just as her body began to tighten around him, as his whimpers grew ragged and hot against her throat, the screaming started ringing through their minds.

“Mama!”

Guinevere’s body went still, her hands clenching around his fingers.

Rand froze, his weight sinking onto her, his breath coming in harsh, uneven gasps.

“Father, please!” The voice was everywhere, in the walls, in their very bones.

Guinevere shoved at his chest, harsh fists filled with agony pushing him away, scrambling from beneath him, hands clamped over her ears. Rand sat back, shaking, his head bowed, his own hands tangled in his hair.

“We cannot escape them,” she whispered.

“No,” Rand said, his voice hoarse. “We cannot.”

They sat apart, the weight of the past, present, and future echoing on both their minds. 

Outside, the wind screamed with them.

The grey light of dawn seeped through the narrow window, faint as breath, pale as a ghost. The storm had passed in the night, leaving only the scent of damp wood and salt clinging to the air, mingling with the faint, lingering scent of sweat and skin.

Guinevere lay upon her side, her naked back to Rand, the thin blanket pulled high over her shoulder. The air between them was thick, not with warmth, but with silence. Heavy, suffocating, woven from things neither dared speak aloud.

He had not touched her since the scream shattered the dark. His hand had lain beside hers for a time, fingers curled loosely, just shy of touching. But at some point, she knew not when, he had drawn it back.

They had not spoken.

Guinevere’s body ached, though she could not say from what, from the desperate, bruising way they had clung to each other, or from the way she had curled in upon herself once it was done, heart pounding, skin burning, shame and grief and something far too ancient to name coiling within her like a serpent. Her thighs were sore, her lips tender, her neck marked where his mouth had been. But it was the silence that stung most of all.

They did not dare look at each other.

The bed was too narrow to allow much space between them, yet somehow it felt like a chasm, wide and impassable. Her back felt too bare, exposed to him, yet she could not bring herself to turn, to face him, to see her own regret reflected in his eyes.

She bit the inside of her cheek until the taste of blood filled her mouth.

The Wheel had played this game with them before, drawing them together only to tear them apart. In every life, the same bitter dance. And in every life, it seemed, they swore they would not let it happen again.

But it had.

Again.

She stared at the wall, tracing the cracks in the plaster with her eyes, trying to anchor herself in the smallness of the room, the ordinary flaws in its surface, anything to keep from thinking of his hands on her, his mouth against hers, the way her body had known him as though they had lain together a thousand times before.

Because they had.

Rand shifted behind her, the mattress creaking. He was awake. He had been awake for hours, just as she had.

The words she should say—could say—crowded behind her teeth, but none of them broke free. What would they matter? They had no power here. Not in the face of the truth they both knew too well.

There was no future for them. There never had been.

He sat up at last, the blanket slipping from his back, and she heard the rustle of fabric as he reached for his shirt. He dressed in silence, each movement careful, almost reverent, as though trying not to disturb her, though he must have known she was awake.

Guinevere did not move. Her body was stone, her breath measured, her hands fisted in the blankets beneath her chin.

She waited for him to speak. To say anything, some halfhearted apology, some cold attempt at explaining away what they had done. But none came.

When at last she heard the door open, the chill air slipping in around him, she thought for a moment he would leave without a word.

But he paused in the doorway.

“Sorry,” he said quietly, and his voice was softer than it should have been—tender even, though it trembled at the edges. She saw him take gentle steps towards her, and he kneeled down to leave a soft, loving kiss on her cheek, his hand caressing her neck where his mouth had marked her, as the other delicately brushed against sickly skin over her cheeks. Guinevere closed her eyes at his touch. “I’m sorry for last night.” He eventually said, with a mournful whimper.

Guinevere bit her lips, to prevent angry sobs from escaping them, before responding. “I’m sorry too.”

She felt Rand press his forehead against hers, before the warmth of his body was gone all of the sudden. “Rest, Gwen,” he heard him say from the hallway. She briskly opened her eyes, and became painfully aware of how naked she was and how little the blanket did to cover her. 

“Rand, you mustn’t leave the room,” Guinevere urged him, tiredly, “you know that,” she added, with a final whisper. 

But then the latch clicked shut behind him.

She sat up slowly, her body protesting, her skin bearing the ghost of his touch. The room felt hollow, emptied of air, though her heart still pounded in her chest.

She washed herself with water gone cold in the basin, scrubbing her skin as though she could erase what had been done, as though her own hands had not clutched at him just as fiercely, her own voice had not broken on his name. The bruises would fade, they always did.

The memory would not.

She braided her hair with steady hands, smoothed the creases from her dress, what was left of it at least. By the time she reached the door, her face was smooth, her back straight, her shoulders squared. A Daughter of House Damodred. A Sister of the Yellow Ajah. Not a woman who had wept beneath her lover’s hands, hearing the voices of her unborn children echo through the dark.

The stairs creaked beneath her feet as she descended, the scent of stale ale and smoke curling up to meet her. She couldn’t feel him around, and the terrible fear of him slipping through her fingers, into the ones of a Darkfriend, or even worse, a Forsaken, started to shiver down her spine. 

Nonetheless, Guinevere stepped into the common room, her smile polite, her face serene. She had worn the mask for so long, it was easy to slip back into it.

Guinevere turned toward the bar, but her steps faltered the moment her gaze swept the room.

At a table near the window, half-shrouded in shadow, sat a man wrapped in a patchwork cloak, his fingers idly plucking at the strings of a harp resting against his knee. He had not been there the day before, Guinevere would’ve noticed him. His hair was silvered with age, his beard neatly trimmed, but it wasn’t the lines on his face that caught her breath.

It was the shape of him, the set of his shoulders, the angle of his jaw, something both eerily and achingly familiar, though she couldn’t place why.

The gleeman’s gaze lifted from his harp, meeting hers for the briefest heartbeat. Something flickered there, curiosity, perhaps, or the slightest echo of recognition, like hearing a tune he almost remembered.

Before she could look away, the man signaled for her to approach him. Guinevere discreetly looked around her, to make sure there wasn’t anyone else he was pointing at, but his gaze was unmistakably set on her.

Guinevere moved toward him with careful steps, her skirts whispering against the wooden floor. As she approached the table, she took quick stock of what he carried: a harp, resting lightly in his lap for all to see. A knife, hidden where he thought no one would notice. A travel-worn bag, slouched against his chair, its weight suggesting enough coin to survive—but not enough to thrive.

He was a man who knew how to survive on the road. That alone made him dangerous.

She did not sit until she had measured him thoroughly.

The man plucked a lazy note from his harp, a half-smile playing at the corner of his lips. “So, tell me, child,” he said, and his voice was melodic and smooth as aged wine. “What’s your name?”

“I’m not a child,” Guinevere protested, her voice high-pitched and stubborn enough to lead him into believing she was one indeed, or so she thought. 

He gave a low, ashy laugh, shaking his head. “Well, I’ll be damned.” He leaned back in his chair, studying her with something close to amusement. “No harm meant, girl. I’m only looking for someone.”

Guinevere tensed. “Who?”

The gleeman let his fingers dance idly along the strings of his harp, playing a wandering tune. “Why, the Dragon Reborn, of course,” he said, his voice almost playful. “Who else?”

The words landed like a stone in her stomach.

Of course. A gleeman would be looking for Rand. Rumors didn’t walk on their own. They were carried by men like him.

She tilted her head, feigning mild amusement. “The Dragon Reborn?” she repeated, tapping a thoughtful finger against the worn surface of the table. “You must be a man who listens to a great deal of foolish tales, then.”

The gleeman only smiled. “Oh, I listen to everything. Sometimes foolish tales have the ring of truth, if you know how to hear it.”

Guinevere held his gaze, keeping her expression carefully neutral. “And what would a gleeman want with the Dragon Reborn?”

The man plucked another note, tilting his head as if considering. “What does anyone want with him?” He let the words hang in the air before adding, “Maybe I’m just curious.”

“Curiosity gets men killed.”

He chuckled, his eyes crinkling with something like genuine delight. “And yet, here I sit.”

Guinevere inhaled slowly. If this man was after Rand, he could be anyone, an agent of some noble house, an informant for the Tower, or something far worse. He didn’t look like a Darkfriend. But then again, neither did most.

She had to throw him off the trail.

“There are many tales,” she said smoothly, letting a small, coy smile play on her lips. “Some say the Dragon Reborn was spotted crossing the Erinin three days ago. Or was it the Alguenya?” She frowned, as if struggling to recall. “The trouble with rumors is that they never seem to agree, do they?”

The gleeman watched her, the flickering firelight casting deep shadows across his face. His fingers idly stroked the harp strings, but she could feel the weight of his silence.

“No, they don’t,” he said finally. “Yet you don’t seem the type to trade in rumors alone.”

Guinevere shrugged one shoulder. “I trade in what’s useful.”

A smile ghosted his lips. “That, I believe.”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The air between them was thick with unspoken meaning, with quiet assessments, with the delicate game of weighing truths against half-truths.

Then, at last, the gleeman leaned back, exhaling softly. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to keep looking.” He plucked a final, lazy note from his harp, then reached for his bag. 

But just as he was rising, he paused. His gaze swept over her once more, slower this time, as though he were seeing something he had missed before. His brows furrowed, his mouth quirking in something like recognition.

He raised a hesitant hand towards her, before he tenderly brushed on a strand of her hair. Guinevere found it strange, but for some reason his touch felt comforting, safe even. She gazed into his eyes, and almost recognised herself in them. “You know, girl,” the man sighed, leaving one final caress on her chin, before stepping back, “you’ve got your aunt’s look about you.”

Guinevere froze.

Her heart slammed against her ribs and for a moment, she forgot how to breathe.

The mask nearly slipped, the carefully trained serenity, the unshakable poise, but she caught herself just in time.

She swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh, I think you would.” The gleeman’s eyes lingered on her for a breath longer, before he exhaled softly. 

Guinevere hesitated, then lifted her chin. She knew she was being reckless, but something instinctive, almost demonic had taken over her. “And if I encounter him, who should I say was looking for him?”

He smiled, the kind of smile that belonged to a man who had seen too much and survived anyway. “Thom,” he said, turning toward the door, his cloak swirling around him like a storm cloud, his harp slung across his back.“Thom Merrilin.”

Guinevere did not stop him, and when Rand came back, accompanied by Moiraine and Lan, she did not tell them that Thom Merrilin had come looking for him.

He was only a gleeman, after all.

[purplespacekitty]

rewatching TOS now as an adult after having seen only a few episodes when i was much younger, i have a deeper appreciation for the Triumvirate and co. i always liked Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, Chapel and Chekov more than the main three, but i find myself overjoyed at any scene involving any of them. i also really loved Sulu and Rand’s friendship in season 1, it gave us a glimpse into their lives as crew members and just as human beings. i love that they are each essential to the running of the ship and truly choose to stick by each other and these three silly little guys for so long. i love knowing that Uhura sings because Nichelle Nichols was a theatrical singer. i love that Sulu wished for an old fashioned gun and is an unabashed plant nerd. i love that Scotty loves the Enterprise more than he cares about someone insulting Kirk. i love that Chekov actually expresses frustration at being treated like a kid. i love Rand's hair, impracticality be damned. i love that they have their own lives but are all drawn back to the Enterprise. the supporting cast add a texture to the show that i firmly believe it could not do without.

that said, i also find i have a deeper appreciation for the relationships between Kirk, Spock and McCoy. of course, the tension between Kirk and Spock is certainly intriguing, but it’s hard not to see them as an incomplete duo without Bones. i think there’s this sort of expectation that in groups of three, one person will always get left out. Bones doesn’t even have the choice of being left out, he gets dragged along with the two of them in every stupid decision they make. and they rub off on him: he may gripe more often than he sings praises, but he’ll readily give his life for Jim or Spock any day. because despite whatever he might say (and he really does say some awful things), he finds joy in their company. and most of the time, he only gripes because he cares. he's frequently frowning and prickly over Jim and Spock's nonsense, yet he has such a tender heart. that’s so interesting to me.

i wasn't expecting Bones to become my favorite of the three, but here we are.

everyone talks about Amok Time as the birth of Spirk, K/S, the Premise. but Spock asked them both to be there. as logical as it may be to bring a doctor with you to your wedding/sex ritual/divorce/fight to the death, especially when you're afflicted by an intense blood fever that's slowly killing you, Spock knew the possible outcomes. either there would be no need for a doctor in the end or someone would die and what good would a doctor be in that occasion? he calls them both his friends when he justifies Jim and Bones' presence to T'Pau. he knew he needed them both down there. and frankly, someone would have died if Bones hadn't been there.

it wouldn’t be fair to say Bones keeps the other two in check, because really, what he is, is a point of balance. whether you read the relationship between Jim, Spock and/or Bones as romantic, sexual, platonic, professional or even familial, the balance they hold together as a trio is fundamental to how they are written as characters.

i just think it's beautiful.

[asha-mage]

Randland World Leaders - Do they know the price of a banana apple?

Morgase Trakand - No, but she could get it in the right neighborhood if asked. Understands the economic influences that affect prices and knows roughly where Andor's sit at any given time.

Elayne Trakand - Pre world travels? Not with a gun to her head. She wouldn't give a false guess though, just avoid the question rather then admit ignorance. Post world travels she knows the prices of most common food stuffs for Andor and all of it's immediate neighbors with scary accuracy.

Rand al'Thor - Yes. One of the first things Rand does after taking over Tear is familiarize himself with tax policies and food production and grain trade. He is a farm boy at heart and has Powerful Opinions on cost of living.

Perrin Abyara - Nope. He thinks he does, but in reality he names the price of apples he paid aka, pre adventure. He knows that prices in general have gone up but if you tried to sell him an apple he would get offended when you wouldn't take the same price he paid prior to half a dozen kingdoms going to war, and the endless summer choking out trade. He wouldn't say anything though and just assume you where trying to squeeze a few coins out of him because he's dressed like some 'idiot lord'.

Faile- Yes. She knows exactly the price of apples grown in the Two Rivers and knows that it's out competing the neighboring provinces apples by a good margin. Does this have something to do with her threatening local officials to ensure they don't try to hard to compete with Two Rivers food prices? Maybe, but it's nothing Perrin can prove she did. HE dosen't know the price of apples.

Siuan Sanche - Apples? No. Fish? Yes. Siuan could tell you the price of every fish in the market at Tar Valon and what will be cheaper next month based on yields out of the south. This is not for economic reasons, it's because she still eats fish for 3 meals out of 4.

Berelain - Nope. She has economic advisers who she pays to know that. Her skill and perk points all went into Foreign Policy and Espionage, not Economics.

Alliandre - The price of apples keeps Alliandre up at night staring at her bedroom ceiling, fearing for her life. It turns out having a religious tyrant running rampart around your kingdom burning down farms and causing skyrocketing inflation by assaulting trade routes and exacting inconsistent 'tithes' on merchants will make you VERY familiar with the economic conditions of the common man. Every time the price of apples goes up a silver mark, Alliandre makes her food taster check her meals an extra time.

Tuon - Yes. Always good to know the price of local cyanide containing fruits, just in case.

Elaida - "It's an apple Alviarin? How much can it cost? 10 gold marks?"