#overall i enjoyed the egwene chapters the most

[aenhanse]

people weren't lying those crossroads of twilight can really slog

[markantonys]

bridgerton s3 part 2 thoughts! full spoilers for the whole season, and i will also discuss some book spoilers relating to the future siblings - i haven't read the books and never will, but i know the main points of most of the siblings' stories due to Existing Online. haha i also briefly discuss some wheel of time book spoilers because i was reminded of a certain WOT couple at one point in these episodes!

first things first: I AM SO EXCITED THAT WE GOT NOT ONE BUT TWO (2)!!!!!!!!! CANONICALLY QUEER BRIDGERTON SIBLINGS!!!! AND MY TWO FAVORITES, AT THAT!!!! but i will save that for discussion at the end of the post because it is BY FAR my favorite aspect of these episodes.

but even with that aside, i definitely liked this half a lot more than part 1! screentime felt more balanced and it didn't feel like the sideplots were eating up as much time as it did in part 1.

penelope and colin storyline

they were Fine to me in part 1, but their story was more compelling in this half since we moved on from bland run-of-the-mill childhood-friends-to-lovers and into the meaty and much more unique emotional drama of how penelope being lady whistledown affects their relationship. just as i'd hoped for! and i thought the pacing of this was pretty good too because colin found out early enough that he had enough time left in the season to react properly and work through it, rather than it being some 11th-hour reveal that's hastily swept aside to make way for the HEA. it was juuuuust when i was starting to feel that the "colin makes a hater comment about LW in front of penelope, causing her to look ill with anxiety" shtick was getting old that he found out the truth, so, pretty good timing.

colin was more interesting in this half due to wrestling with the whole "penelope is LW" reveal, but overall, in the season as a whole, he was kinda giving us nothing. they really dropped the ball on him because he just never at any point felt like the co-lead character of the season. for daphne & simon and kate & anthony it felt like a pretty balanced exploration of both characters as individuals on top of the romance, but this season it was 100% the penelope show and colin felt basically like a prop. and penelope's a great character and had great stuff this season, so i enjoyed all the time spent on her, but we needed more for colin to go along with it. after 8 episodes, i still don't feel i know much about who he is as a person besides that he's nice and loyal. although on the flipside, i have no problem with male characters whose entire personality is loving their wives haha i love that shit! so a warm welcome for colin into the Wifeguy Club!

speaking of wifeguys, time for my WOT connection, which is that penelope and colin were SO gawene-coded in a couple scenes that it actually killed me! colin's lil arc of feeling kinda jealous of/intimidated by penelope's power as LW at first and most importantly his "what use can i ever be to her when she's so self-sufficient and doesn't need anything from me?" worries, culminating in him realizing "if the only thing i do in my life is love and support such an incredible woman, i'll be completely satisfied" (paraphrasing), i was like, that is soooo TOM gawyn with egwene being amyrlin!!! and when penelope had that line to him about like "i don't need you to take care of me, i never loved you because of what you can do for me, but because you're kind" (paraphrasing) i gasped and clapped my hand to my forehead because it was almost exactly what i had egwene saying to gawyn in my fic chapter that i posted mere days ago!!!!! literally shook to my core haha i was the leo dicaprio pointing at the TV meme x10 in that moment.

eloise and cressida storyline

wonderful to see eloise and penelope's friendship mended! i thought that whole arc was really well done this season, and especially in this half when eloise is dealing with her ex-bff being engaged to her brother who doesn't know she's LW but eloise knows and feels caught in the middle, just lots of messy, complicated emotions in that whole situation and they did a great job with all that.

i really enjoyed cressida in the first half of the season, but in this half it felt like she got a bit too much time. she also kinda reverted back to her mean girl ways (though out of desperation rather than malice), which was less interesting than the different, softer side we saw from her in the first half and made her time in this half feel like more of a drag. but overall, she's a very layered character and the actress did a fantastic job with her, and in this half of the season i always understood why she was doing what she was doing and sympathized with her. it can't be said that she didn't fuck around and find out, but i still felt bad for her in the end! i really liked the moment when colin with his rose-tinted glasses was like "but your family will forgive you and all will be well!" because that's what family has always been like to him, and cressida was like "ummm no, some of us have shitty families and you bridgertons are too naive to realize that", it was a very good moment.

(i will also say, i know this is a highly unpopular opinion for a queer bridgerton fan to have, but i was never on the eloise/cressida train haha i can 100% see the vibes that others picked up on, but they just never did anything for me for whatever reason! i know eloise was the "obvious" choice for a wlw bridgerton but i personally am so SO thrilled that they went for francesca instead, i guess just because i connect so deeply with her character in a way i never have with eloise. also, now that i'm thinking about it, i think eloise vibes the most like aroace to me, i struggle to picture her having a relationship with *anyone* of any gender.)

other storylines

i'm so happy for violet and marcus!! crossing my fingers that we'll see more of them in s4 since their romance is only just budding; it would be so interesting to see him interacting with her kids and getting integrated into the family dynamic (and for us to meet his kids too! though i acknowledge we don't need MORE side characters haha). and i loved the danbury siblings scenes and them getting to the root of their childhood issues and working them out. and of course, violet and lady danbury continue to be THE best duo of all time <33 i adore their friendship so so much, i can't even describe how much!

we got more time with kate and anthony in this half, and all of it was perfect. they're gonna be parents!!!! though alas, it seems like they've made their final exit from the show with them going off to live in india for a while. sad to see them go, but not surprised at all. i see lots of book fans whining about the prior leads leaving and how it's weird for daphne to not be at her own brother's wedding etc, and i do agree that the show/family is gonna start feeling kinda empty as the older siblings & spouses exit, but that's just a necessity of this medium. you can't have main cast be contracted for 6 more seasons just to show up for 2 lines of dialogue per season and hang out in the background of wedding scenes. you can do that in a book, but you can't do it in a tv show. just something we have to live with! and a lot of the complaints take such a "how DARE these actors want to move on with their lives and do other projects instead of dropping everything to prioritize having a minor role on bridgerton for the rest of this decade" tone, which stinks of Fan Entitlement.

i am curious about what might become of penelope, because it sounds like she's kinda continuing whistledown but just as herself and in a more responsible manner that won't hurt people (tho idk how a gossip column can possibly NOT hurt anyone haha the whole "penelope shouldn't give up LW because it's Feminist and Empowering and Gives A Voice To The Voiceless" narrative kinda had me going X Doubt). update: i just saw an interview with the showrunner where she confirmed that penelope will be in s4 and have a storyline. nice!

the featheringtons had much less in this half which i was glad about and they were taken more seriously and not just treated as comic relief, and portia had some really good scenes with penelope.

there was also much less of the mondriches, which i was fine with; i'm very fond of them and enjoyed their stuff this season, but it felt appropriate that they took more of a backseat in this half. i was sad will had to give up the club though! it felt like he had to fully capitulate to the ton and give up his own work that he's passionate about in order to win the esteem of snobby aristocrats, which was a bummer. the showrunner interview mentioned we'll be seeing them again in s4 and will be seeing some more of will's friendship with benedict, so i'm happy about that!

NOW ONTO THE GAYS!!!!

we've all been yearning for bi benedict ever since s1, and i can't BELIEVE it actually happened!!!! i'm over the moon!!!! and i'm so glad i watched the episodes straightaway without having seen any spoilers first so i got to experience the "holy shit, are they............are they going where i think they're going????" adrenaline rush completely pure and unknowing. it was the absolute most wonderful surprise!!! i'll give a lil summary here for those who are curious about how much queer content there actually is.

so, in episode 7 (or maybe it was the end of 6?) benedict gets invited to dinner with his female FWB and her male friend, who turns out to be her other FWB. AS SOON AS this invitation was extended i was like "oho, is benedict going to be needing 3 tickets to challengers?" so imagine my delight when it turned out that indeed, the 2 FWBs invited him in hopes of a threesome! benedict has a very brief moment of connection with/attraction to the man, and then he gets propositioned, but he's flustered and leaves. he returns to talk to his own FWB the next day and she explains to him about bisexuality and he's like icarly interesting.jpg and says that he's met men who like other men in the past but that he himself has never felt attracted to a man "before" (implying that last night, he did, for the first time). he does some soul-searching and then leaves his own brother's wedding reception to go have a threesome, which is extremely biconic of him. (at the wedding he also gives eloise a nice speech about how love is infinite, in the context of her worrying that colin and penelope marrying each other means they'll have less time for her, but it vibed to me like benedict is poly as well as bi, but who knows if that will go any further than this FWB threesome situation; i'd imagine his endgame will still be a monogamous relationship, but you never know!)

this storyline concludes with the female FWB admitting that she's caught feelings for benedict and wants to become serious (and monogamous) with him, but he politely turns her down because he feels "free" for the first time and wants to keep exploring life and isn't interested in a serious relationship right now, and might not ever be. my only gripe with the storyline is that i wish the male FWB had been introduced an episode or two earlier so we could watch benedict building a connection with him and feeling a budding attraction for an episode or two before the initial threesome proposition occurs to trigger him to actually acknowledge that attraction; as it is, it all happens kind of abruptly and our boy speedruns his entire bi awakening in the span of a single episode, bless him lmao but i'm assuming neither FWB will appear in s4 (they felt like one-season characters to me), so if so, it's fine to not spend too much time developing those specific relationships. the Point of the storyline was for benedict to realize he likes men too and likes non-conventional relationships, and that was accomplished with flying colors!

later on there's reference to "next year's masquerade ball" and i know a masquerade ball is where benedict first meets his endgame love interest in the books, so it seems just about guaranteed that s4 will be about benedict's book. i'm super curious about what direction it will go in! in the book, it sounds like their trope is Forbidden Romance, with the forbidden aspect being class difference (he's an aristocrat and she's a servant), so adding some kind of queer element as an additional reason for why it's Forbidden feels like a viable option, especially after s3 took pains to establish that benedict is interested in queer/non-traditional relationships.

but what form might that hypothetical queer element take? a monogamous m/m romance with genderbent sophie? or could we see trans or genderqueer sophie, in line with the cinderella metaphors about masquerade and disguise and identity and presenting differently in different environments? or might they go for some kind of poly or open relationship endgame for benedict? i don't know! there's so many options! it's also entirely possible that sophie will remain a cis woman and benedict will have a monogamous endgame with her, which i would also welcome because it is actually VERY rare to see rep of bi people ending up very happy in monogamous different-gender relationships, while still remaining firmly bi (most of the time bi characters end up in same-gender relationships, or end up in different-gender ones while dismissing their prior same-gender attractions as just a phase, or are chaotic sluts who cheat because they aren't content with only being with one person).

now on to francesca. we know for 100% fact that her love interest has been genderbent into a woman, because she was introduced at the end of the final episode! so francesca's endgame love story is guaranteed to be wlw, which is so exciting! (for context, her book endgame love interest is john's cousin michael stirling, and in the show she met john's cousin michaela stirling, so that's how we know with 100% certainty.)

taking it back a bit to the rest of her story this season, we see her and john courting, then getting engaged and married in a small wedding at bridgerton house with just the family, because they both hate being the center of attention. it was all incredibly wholesome introvert4introvert content and i adored it!!!! kept going "this is literally my ideal marriage" during so many of their scenes haha

but there is somewhat of a question of, is francesca actually attracted to john/men in general? throughout the season and even after the introduction of michaela stirling, i assumed yes; francesca clearly adores john and states that she loves him, and her body language around him seemed to me to show attraction. but after finishing the season and reading discussion online, i saw people saying that francesca seemed disappointed with kissing john at their wedding (which i'd interpreted as her just feeling shy about kissing him in front of people) and that it was a marked contrast to how flustered and interested she is when she meets michaela. so for me, the jury's out on whether she's more bi-leaning or lesbian-leaning; now that i know canon wlw francesca is a thing, i'd need to rewatch the season again to analyze her behavior with john more closely to decide what vibe i'm getting there! because on first watch it wasn't even on my radar to consider that maybe she's not actually attracted to men.

i will admit, i would be kinda disappointed if she *isn't* truly in love with john, just for the fact that i found it so delightful and refreshing to see a quiet romance that's so different from the loud melodramatic ones, as is discussed many many times during francesca's storyline this season. and i did notice that francesca tripping over her words upon meeting michaela is exactly what violet had said she did when she first met her late husband, and violet was bringing this up to say "but your way of loving john is different from that and that's valid". so i definitely CAN imagine that maybe they're making a deliberate point here that, actually, the reason why francesca's love for john looks so different from other characters' for their spouses is because she does NOT in fact have spousal love for him, but rather platonic love that she's misinterpreted as romantic. but i would just be mildly annoyed if The Point turned out to be "actually, violet is right and True Romantic Love must always be flustering and tongue-tying and dramatic" lmao but that's a personal gripe for me as a very quiet person who loved seeing the type of romantic relationship i would prefer depicted with francesca and john; i can also see the counterargument that a storyline of a repressed lesbian trying to untangle her actual feelings from comphet and societal expectations would be very powerful and important! and particularly interesting to explore in this regency context.

now on to some bigger book spoilers. so from what i understand, in the books, john dies, leaving francesca as a widow, and her love story with michael is about dealing with grief and learning to open herself up to love again after loss. i've seen the argument that francesca actually being a lesbian who wasn't genuinely in love with john would cheapen this storyline, and i can see that point for sure, but otoh it's abundantly clear that she does have a very deep care and love for him regardless of whether or not it's romantic/sexual, so i think no matter what, we will still see her being very affected and pained by his death and struggling with guilt about falling for someone else (his cousin! a woman!) etc.

what i'm most curious about here is the timing! there was some leak that michaela's actress is allegedly booked as a small part in s3 and a main role in s4. i'd been wondering if maybe they would start combining books, but in the interview i read, the showrunner confirmed that the plan is still to do only one book/sibling per season, so it seems that s4 will only be benedict's book. which makes sense, because i believe in the books francesca is married to john for 2 years before he dies and then it's another few years before she starts romancing michael, so i'd guess s4 will just see francesca develop a friendship with michaela and then maybe john dies towards the end of the season, then we do a timeskip between seasons and s5 is about francesca and michaela. but then there's still eloise to contend with, maybe she would be s5 and francesca not until 6.

i really really hope we'll get some francesca-benedict bonding next season (or s5/6 depending on the timing of francesca having her gay realization; it seems still subconscious for her as of now) since they are officially The Queer Siblings!!! i need to see them find this out about each other and talk about it together and be confidants for each other. it will also be so fascinating to see violet & the other siblings react to a queer bridgerton endgame romance. violet wants her kids to be happy, but she sometimes struggles with realizing that what happiness looks like to them may not align exactly with what happiness looks like to her, so i could definitely see her needing to take a moment to readjust her perspective and realize that francesca not being able to legally marry michaela in a public manner known to all of the ton and have biological kids with her doesn't mean they can't be just as happy as her straight kids and their partners. (on that note, i remember that in the past people have suggested francesca could be a great candidate for a wlw bridgerton because her status as a widow allows her a lot more societal freedom than a never-married woman, so i love that the show went with her! i can totally see her endgame being that of a respectable widow living peacefully in the countryside with her Dear Friend.)

i remember straightaway francesca set off my gaydar in 3x01 when she was reluctant about entering the marriage mart and dismissive at the idea of finding True Love and going ??? when people asked what qualities she wanted in a husband, and there was a scene of her talking with other debutante girls and i went "man i would love it if she got a girlfriend" but never in a million years did i actually think that was a real possibility! so i'm SO thrilled that they're going there, and like i mentioned before i quite like that they went with the polite introvert sister instead of the outspoken rebel sister to be the gay one because it just feels like a subversion of expectations and stereotypes for me, and because all season i'd been seeing so much of myself in francesca and then, finding out she's gay like me!!!! cherry on top!! and then for michaela, in the books i believe michael is yet another rake, which the show sets up for michaela too with her joking about being even more scandalous than john's stories might make her out to be - the rake is the backbone of the regency romance genre, so getting to see a wlw version of the trope with a female rake is going to be SO much fun!! esp with the setup that francesca is fairly society-conforming as of now; michaela broadening her horizons could be something interesting to explore.

wow this post got super long lmao i'm just so excited! canon queer bridgerton siblings singlehandedly turned this show from "i casually enjoy it as a few hours of fun which i forget about soon after it's over" to "i'm literally frothing at the mouth i need the next season NOW" and That is the power of representation, baby!

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 18

Siuan strategises, Aes Sedai are Aes Sedai, Sharina is not Aes Sedai

Chapter 18: A Message in Haste

Siuan Sanche, former Amyrlin Seat, ex-Watcher of the Seals, past Flame of Tar Valon, has finally realised she can get novices to do her laundry for her.

Something’s happening in the Hall. Which itself is cause for excitement; not much usually happens in the Hall unless it’s Egwene.

Siuan only pauses for a quick little *shakes fist at cloud*

There was talk of replacing the walkways with something more permanent, perhaps as expensive as paving stones.

Classic Aes Sedai. Just slow right on down until you lose all impetus whatsoever, and then watch. Except of course, because they’re Aes Sedai, they probably won’t ever actually get around to paving the roads. So their unwillingness to act ends up impinging on their unwillingness to act, thus cancelling it out and keeping them from backsliding too far. Two wrongs don’t make a right but apparently two faults make a virtue. Who knew?

Her nerves were taut enough, dealing with Gareth bloody Bryne. Suggesting that she let him teach her how to hold a sword, just in case.

DON’T TEASE ME LIKE THIS, DAMN IT.

If Rand al’Thor himself bloody appeared in camp, the novices should continue their lessons.

Rodel Ituralde and I would both counsel against tempting fate in that particular way, Siuan.

Sheriam, as Egwene’s Keeper, couldn’t enter the Hall without the Amyrlin. And so she was reduced to waiting outside.

I like how there are these little loopholes or knots in the law that probably no one ever really gave any thought to until the rebels ran into them. There’s the obvious one, of Egwene being raised directly from Accepted to Amyrlin, and thus becoming Aes Sedai by default, just because no one ever thought that they really needed to clarify that of course the Amyrlin would be chosen from those already Aes Sedai. But now there’s this one, about the Keeper, which makes perfect sense within its intended bounds of the Keeper entering with the Amyrlin. But I doubt the writers of the law considered what that would mean for the Keeper if the Amyrlin were, say, kidnapped by another Tower faction and held away from her Hall.

I just enjoy things like this. (More so in fiction than in reality, where, for example, a certain party failed to see the point of legally requiring their leader to step down after losing a vote of no confidence, because what leader wouldn’t step down in such circumstances, but I DIGRESS).

[Sheriam] seemed to have regained some calm recently, to be less erratic. Perhaps whatever had been ailing her had passed. She’d always insisted that nothing was wrong in the first place.

Um. When you say ‘recently’, Siuan…can you be a bit more specific? I don’t trust Sheriam. There was that thing a while back with her looking more and more frayed, and then her brief PoV where she was beaten for information, and now suddenly she’s looking better and also Aran’gar is gone. Hmmmm.

Sheriam raised an eyebrow. “Elaida has Travelling.”

Damn it.

I mean, we already knew that, but still. Damn it.

It was bound to happen eventually, though. Too many people knew it, and secrets don’t stay secrets when multiple people know.

But that’s really bad news for the rebels, given that their current tactic is siege. And by really bad news I mean it pretty much nullifies that entire strategy.

Well. Assuming Elaida and her Aes Sedai use it to keep Tar Valon supplied, and/or to attack the rebel army. Given that this is Elaida, I suppose that’s not actually a guarantee.

Why hadn’t this meeting been Sealed to the Flame?

Because the Amyrlin is missing? Surely you mean ‘Sealed to the Hall’…

Nitpicking aside, it’s a good question but it’s also the kind of thing that Aes Sedai would ordinarily keep secret but I’m not sure it necessarily should be. Though it’s probably true that the initial revelation and discussion of how to deal with it probably belongs to a smaller group, so that they can decide how best to release the information, and to whom.

So they’ve been relying partly on tributes for their money. That and cuendillar. I did wonder that a long time ago – though I think at the time I was just wondering how the Tower funded itself, rather than the rebels specifically. They can’t possibly make enough just through tributes, can they?

The White Tower no longer relied on that income – it had far better means of sustaining itself, ones that didn’t rely on outside generosity.

Do we know what these are? Do they levy taxes? Charge for their services? Extort money from rulers? Mint coins themselves and fuck with the global economy?

Still, tributes were never turned away, and many of the Borderland kingdoms still held to the old ways.

The fact that the Borderlanders hold Aes Sedai in higher esteem and respect than most other nations has been consistent since the very beginning of the series, and if there are indeed Aes Sedai and their Warders up helping with the Blight it would make sense, but I have to wonder…why has the fall of Malkier, and the absence of Aes Sedai at the time, not had more of an effect? New Spring showed that the prevailing notion amongst Malkieri was that the White Tower had abandoned them, and that the truth of the matter – that the Aes Sedai just couldn’t get there in time – wasn’t widely known. So then why did the other Borderland nations not share in some of that bitterness, having seen one of their own apparently betrayed? Not just that, but with Malkier’s death, the current Borderlands would have become the Borderlands; they were previously shielded from the Blight by Malkier.

Still, respecting the ‘old ways’ and honouring Aes Sedai just feels consistent with the way the Borderlands overall are characterised, so this isn’t a criticism at all, just…something I hadn’t thought about and am now thinking about. Anyway.

The split of the White Tower, and the discovery of Travelling, had made it very easy for Egwene’s Aes Sedai to send a delegation and collect tributes in person. The Kandori chief clerk hadn’t cared which of the two White Tower sides he supported, so long as the tribute was sent, and had been happy to deliver the money to Ashmanaille directly.

The siege of Tar Valon had made it simple to siphon this coin away from tributes that might have gone to Elaida, instead using them to pay Bryne’s soldiers.

This is so beautifully underhanded and yet entirely legal and I love it. Again, not entirely unlike raising a new Amyrlin and taking full advantage of the exact phrasing of the law in doing so. This is the Aes Sedai cleverness and cunning I’m here for.

Sadly the game is up, though of course no one really wants to accept that this means Elaida has Travelling. The evidence, however, is rather difficult to deny. Even for Aes Sedai very skilled in the fine art of denial.

“I dislike trusting the word of one man,” said Moria

Says the woman who advocated most strongly for an Alliance with the Black Tower.

Meanwhile Siuan is apparently the only one who thinks of informing Gareth Bryne, because HELLO YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SIEGE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER WHAT THIS DOES TO YOUR TACTICAL ADVANTAGE.

Siuan is also just Done. So very done with everyone’s bullshit. Which is all well and good, but don’t let anyone notice just how much power and influence you can still command when you need to, Siuan, or they might begin to look a little more closely…

Then again, at this point that particular issue is probably less of one than it once was.

“This was bound to occur eventually,” Siuan said, though she was nowhere near calm on the inside. “News of Travelling has to be spreading.”

This leaves the Seanchan, I think, as the only major group without knowledge of it. Not for long though, I imagine. Worst kept secret on the continent.

How was Travelling lost in the first place, though? It seems like the kind of thing that would have been even more important during and immediately after the Breaking, what with all the change and upheaval. And even with the increasing fragmentation of communications, it’s hard to see how something that valuable and useful would have faded from Aes Sedai knowledge.  

“Light send that we can keep Travelling secret from the Seanchan.”

Yeah, no. Sorry. Not a chance.

Most of the sisters didn’t believe Egwene’s Dreaming of the attack. Fools – the waynted to catch the fish, but didn’t want to gut it. You didn’t raise a woman to Amyrlin, then treat her warnings lightly.

Except they intended to treat not just her warnings but her lightly. She wasn’t supposed to be Amyrlin at all, really. And they’ve sort of managed to get past that – or rather, Egwene has forced them past it – but I think they still don’t see quite how amazing she actually is. Add to that the fact that Dreaming is another nearly lost Talent, and one that’s hard to prove beyond doubt, and it’s no real surprise they fall back on I Know Everything And I Don’t Know This, Therefore This Does Not Exist.

“What was that about?” Sheriam asked, glancing away from the proceedings inside the Hall.

“Making certain we don’t wake up with Elaida’s army surrounding us,” Siuan said. “I’ll bet I’m the only one who thought to warn our general that the enemy may have just undone our biggest tactical advantage. So much for a siege.”

Sheriam frowned, as if she hadn’t considered that. She wouldn’t be alone. Oh, some would think of Bryne, and would be planning to send word to the general eventually. But for many, the catastrophe here wasn’t the fact that Elaida could now move her armies to flank them, or that now Bryne’s siege was useless. The catastrophe would be more personal for them: the knowledge they’d worked to keep secret had fallen into the hands of others.

That’s stupid.

Stupid to the point that it strains crediblity, even. Sure, Aes Sedai are inward-focused and frequently far more narrow in their view than they would care to admit, and they can absolutely be this petty, but…come on. Green Ajah, step up your game.

I wonder if anyone will think to tell Egwene…

I haven’t been doing a very good job of acting weak today, Siuan thought with a grimace.

Understatement of the chapter.

The White Tower was crumbling. The Ajahs weakened one another with petty infighting. Even here, in Egwene’s camp, more time was spent politicking than preparing for the coming storm.

Easier to fall into familiar patterns and deal with the ‘problems’ you’re used to than to face up to a problem you are in no way prepared for, after all. It’s all well and good to say ‘we have bigger issues’, but it’s rather more difficult to follow through on that. It’s easier to deal with the familiar than the unknown, especially when the unknown is, you know, the apocalypse. It’s just another form of denial, really, and a hard one to break out of.

And Siuan was partially responsible for those failures.

This merits a strong ‘yes, but’. You can’t take on all the responsibility, Siuan; you may have played a part in it, but it’s far, far bigger than any individual person. Just as Rand can’t actually take responsibility for the whole world falling apart, you can’t hold yourself responsible for the Tower crumbling. Partly, sure. But nearly every living Aes Sedai – and probably several generations’ worth of dead ones – bears some of that blame.

Elaida and her Ajah certainly bore the lionfish’s share of the blame. But would the Tower have split in the first place if Siuan had fostered cooperation between the Ajahs? Elaida hadn’t had that long to work. Every rift that appeared in the Tower could likely be traced back to tiny cracks during Siuan’s tenure as Amyrlin.

No. They can be traced much farther back than that. Yes, they were present while Siuan was Amyrlin, and maybe she could have done more to address them, but I get the feeling that would have just postponed the inevitable. The Tower’s strength and unity have been dwindling for a lot longer than a few decades, the Black Ajah has been around for a very long time as well even if they’ve probably been more active recently, and the coming of the Dragon Reborn and all the associated chaos has only served to throw light on those flaws, and to expand cracks that formed a very long time ago.

If she’d been more of a mediator among the factions of the White Tower, could she have pounded strength into the bones of these women? Could she have kept them from turning on one another like razorfish in a blood frenzy?

Probably not, in all honesty. The Black Ajah has been doing a pretty good job of stirring up – or outright creating – conflict in recent years, it seems. And there’s been attention from them and from at least a few of the Forsaken specifically devoted to dividing and destroying the Tower. I have a hard time seeing Siuan – impressive as she is – holding it together in the face of that kind of concerted effort. Egwene will hopefully be able to put it back together again, but that’s a bit different; the breaking itself was likely inevitable, in some form or another.

The Dragon Reborn was important. But he was only one figure in the weaving of these final days. It was too easy to forget that, too easy to watch the dramatic figure of legend and forget everyone else.

So once more we come back to this issue of focus, and the dangers of focusing too narrowly on one thing, believing it to be the only thing that matters. And Siuan has devoted most of her life to the Dragon Reborn. It’s a hard thing to fault, really, because she and Moiraine were, for a very long time, the only ones who knew. And they knew of no one but each other they could trust. Someone had to focus on this, and there was no one else, and so the task fell to them. But especially for the Amyrlin Seat to do so…yes, there are consequences to that.

I like this idea, though, and how various characters have had to realise it in their own ways. Rand may stand at the centre of everything, but he is not the only one involved. And he also can’t do it alone; he may be the prophesied saviour, but he can’t actually carry the entire world’s fate by himself. And so all these other people and groups need to step up as well, and fulfill their roles. They can’t afford to stand by and watch, and they can’t afford to focus solely on the centre. All the other pieces are important as well.

It’s kind of like what Egwene was telling the White Sitters: they actually need to focus on fixing the Tower before they can even think about addressing the Dragon Reborn. All the pieces have to come together in order for the whole to have a chance, and that means those individual pieces can’t be neglected, even while the broader focus does need to be on moving towards Tarmon Gai’don. It’s a tough balance.

Oh hi Sharina.

There was a certain distinct weight to her. She had seen so much, done so much, passed so many years. And unlike an Aes Sedai, Sharina had lived all of those years. Working, raising a family, even burying children.

I’m not sure I agree with this. I would say it’s odd for an Aes Sedai to say Sharina has ‘passed so many years’ but I’ll give Siuan that one, as she’s at least a few decades younger than Sharina. That said, she has spent her time around women who are significantly older than that, so this does still jar a little bit.

But the whole idea of ‘unlike an Aes Sedai, Sharina had lived all of those years’? Not buying it. Most Aes Sedai work, whether that means studying or mediating conflicts or tracking down men who can channel. Older Aes Sedai have seen generations of their family die, even if they’re no longer close to them. And why is raising a family more valuable or more real than the lives Aes Sedai lead? Why does that qualify as living, while Cadsuane’s many adventures or Verin’s alluded-to misadventures or Meidani’s travels or Adeleas’s studies apparently do not?

Maybe some Aes Sedai sit in the Tower and let life pass them by, but just as many seem to live their chosen lives. Those lives may not be the romanticised lives of a country farmwife, sure, but why does that matter? I mean, I get what this is trying for – it goes back to the idea of the Tower being too aloof, too set apart from the rest of the world – but it misses slightly and lands instead on ‘your life only counts if it conforms to this particular definition and set of expectations’.

I do like Sharina, though. I wish my grandmother were that cool.

So Sharina’s carrying Siuan’s laundry while making apparently casual conversation about the current panic in the Hall. She definitely has something she’s angling at here, but unlike many who interact with Siuan, I get the impression she’s not trying to press her own agenda or use Siuan as a piece of some scheme.

“The thinking of crowds is often odd at first consideration, Sharina. Everyone is still talking about that Asha’man visit, and they’re thirsty for more. So they react with excitement at the chance to hear something else. In that way, the great revelations can come in secret, but then cause lesser ones to be received in an explosion of anxiety.”

There’s definitely some truth to that. Look at…uh…certain sections of world news these past several months, for instance.

“One could put that observation to good use, I should think.” Sharina nodded to a group of novices as they passed. “If one wanted to cause worry, that is.”

“What are you saying?” Siuan asked, eyes narrowing.

“Ashmanaille reported first to Lelaine Sedai,” Sharina said softly. “I’ve heard that Lelaine was the one who let the news slip. She spoke it out loud in the hearing of a family of novices while calling for the Hall to meet.She also deflected several early calls for the meeting to be Sealed to the Flame.”

It’s a refreshing change from Nicola, another novice who was clever enough to see things that others missed, but who then used that information to threaten and blackmail. Sharina, on the other hand, seems to be giving more of a warning, and giving Siuan some important information she might otherwise not have known. She’s clever and she’s not an arsehole. Amazing.

Why? And why was Sharina confiding her very un-novice-like opinions?

Because Sharina is very good at following protocol, but is also good at finding ways to bend or adjust the rules when necessary. She can spot problems and figure out ways to address them without really stepping outside of the boundaries of her position.

The more threatened the women in the camp felt – the more danger they saw from Elaida – the easier it would be for a firm hand to seize control.

Sigh. Must you, Lelaine?

“Why did you tell me this?” Siuan asked. “For all you know, I’m Lelaine’s lackey.”

Because Sharina is one of those who can look past the politicking and see the bigger picture. In part, probably, because she’s not Aes Sedai. Like Egwene, she’s still relatively new to this environment, and so some of the issues stand out more sharply to her than they would to one long indoctrinated. So rather than getting caught up in the secrecy and looking for a way to manipulate the situation to her own ends, as some Aes Sedai would have, she sees this as a problem to be solved and approaches someone with more authority who might share that opinion. She’s a very useful ally: not Aes Sedai and therefore not caught up in those games, but intelligent and experienced enough to see things that some of the younger novices would likely miss.

“Please, Siuan Sedai. These eyes aren’t blind, and they see a woman working very hard to keep the Amyrlin’s enemies occupied.”

That makes her one of the very few to have noticed.

Again, her being something of an outsider helps, here. She probably doesn’t know how the Aes Sedai determine rank, so she’s going to be less liable to dismiss Siuan out of hand. It’s why Siuan has been able to get away with doing what she’s been doing all this time: the other Aes Sedai virtually ignore her because their heirarchy is so ingrained that they essentially forget who Siuan was in favour of who she appears to be now. Sharina, though, sees Siuan through a less biased filter, and so is far more likely to notice her abilities that have nothing to do with her strength in the Power.

“But you are still exposing yourself for very little reward.”

A very Aes Sedai way of looking at things, Siuan. Sharina hasn’t been here long enough to become embroiled in the political games, really. Not to mention she’s a novice – however strange a novice she may be – so none of the Aes Sedai would treat her as a member of those games either. She’s a tool to them, or perhaps an annoyance, or a source of discomfort, but certainly not an equal in their eyes.

“Excuse me, Siuan Sedai, but what do you suppose my fate will be if the Amyrlin doesn’t return? No matter what she says now, we can sense Lelaine Sedai’s true opinions.”

Fair point.

Hurry up, girl, Siuan thought to Egwene, glancing toward the spire of the White Tower.

How long has it been now? Siuan mentioned ‘months’ when referring back to the news of the Cleansing, which was after Egwene was taken, so…yeah. It’s been a while.

Is that more or less time than Egwene spent as a damane? I want to say it’s about the same but I could very easily be misremembering – timelines are not my strong suit. Still, she’s had some rough periods of captivity, that’s for sure.

Next (TGS ch 19) Previous (TGS ch 17)

[wotliveblog]

WOT and I have a history.  I have found it a fairly difficult series to break into.  Usually when people say they do not like a work of fiction there is a subtext of “people who like this must be stupid for liking this.”  For me, it’s the opposite.  I think anyone who has liked WOT from the start is probably better at reading than me. 

About ten years ago I started reading The Great Hunt. (maybe? It feels longer.  I barely remember it.)  I hadn’t read Eye of the World, but I found The Great Hunt at a used book store and it was the first one in the series that they had.  I don’t think I made it through the first ten chapters before I figured that I needed to read the first book first. 

I know, what a concept!  But I was used to most books explaining enough so a newcomer could understand it.  I started reading The Dresden Files at book 7 and got into it right away.  To be honest, I do not think the reason I did not get into it was that it assumed you knew a bunch of information ahead of time.  I’ve just read the first chapters of The Great Hunt and it largely explains everything referenced in Eye of the World pretty well.  I just wasn’t reading it the right way. 

Eventually I started reading the books from the beginning and made it all the way to the start of The Shadow Rising before stopping.  I just wasn’t enjoying it.  I felt no connection to the characters, the narration is difficult sometimes, and overall reading it felt like a chore.  So I dropped it. 

I do not remember many details from my first read of the books.  What I do remember clearly is below the spoiler line:

- There’s invaders in a coastal town that enslave people, including Egwene or Nyenave or both. 

- Rand has some sort of fast travel, but it’s dangerous and involves dreams somehow.

- The Horn of Valere gets blown, not sure by who.  Perrin?  It helps the immediate situation (forgot what kind of peril they were in) but the army doesn’t stick around. 

- Rand goes to Tear and fulfills a prophecy, declaring him as the Dragon. 

- I remember Lanfear being a thing.

[sarazeenwrites]

The Wheel of Time Review: Books 1-5

With so much time on my hands now, I’ve decided to delve into the “classics” of modern fantasy, beginning with The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan (and Brandon Sanderson).

Can I just start off with a little detour?

(Tolkien alert!) My dad recently bought me the entire The History of Middle-earth series, currently nestled happily on my shelves. And let me just say what pure joy it is to look up and see all those gorgeous covers arranged in order. Twelve books, not counting the Index (large enough to literally be a book in itself). Quite an endeavor to get into. But since I have an overabundance of time, I’m more than happy to delve.

But in the meantime, Robert Jordan holds me captive.

I haven’t completed the entire monster yet — currently reading only Book 4 (Fires of Heaven) of 14 — so I cannot speak for the entire series yet, but these are my giddy thoughts so far.

I began this with only the vaguest ideas of what to expect. I knew there have been innumerable comparisons to Tolkien’s work, with some saying Jordan all but copied him. I knew that the beloved author died before he could complete the work, and his wife and publisher chose the worthy Fantasy-giant Brandon Sanderson to finish WOT based on the massive amounts of notes Jordan left behind. I also knew that the plot was classic classic Fantasy: insignificant good-guy becomes powerful and defeats even more powerful bad-guy. And I knew it had something to do about a wheel.

I bought the Kindle omnibus version from Amazon, titled The Complete Wheel of Time, which listed the prequel as the first book. So, naturally, I began there. I also purchased The World of Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time and The Wheel of Time Companion to help me along, and I have to say: these two volumes have been invaluable, though I’ve had to be very careful to avoid spoilers. Speaking of spoilers…

You should be warned: there’s going to be spoilers here. Lots of them. If you haven’t read these books yet, I suggest stopping now.

Shall we begin?

PREQUEL: NEW SPRING

New Spring introduces the Aes Sedai city of Tar Valon, smack in the middle of the Aiel War. The reader is immediately shown two characters: Moiraine and Siuan, who would go on to become vital, vital parts of the series proper. The novella (by Jordan’s standards, of course) portrays the early lives of these two outstanding characters. As someone very new to this world, it took me a few chapters to acclimatize myself to the hows and whys of this new place. While the plot itself was interesting (Siuan and Moiraine hearing the prophecy, being raised to full Aes Sedai, their search for the Dragon Reborn, Moiraine meeting Lan, etc.) I found the book itself to be mildly interesting.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad book. Not by a long shot. But it’s not exactly a page-turner either. I liked the characters, I enjoyed the plot, I found it interesting, but I didn’t find myself as hooked as I was hoping I’d be.

As I’d later find out, New Spring elaborates a lot on the inner workings of the White Tower, information which proved incredibly important later in the series, but while reading it, unaware of the rest, it just didn’t seem gripping enough. There’s not much drama going on, no conflict truly worth worrying about. It was a nice, interesting read. Good, but forgettable.

Overall, I’d give it a 3 out of 5. 2.8 would’ve been more like it, but like I said, it helped to know how the intimidating White Tower truly is from the inside later. As a new reader, however: meh.

BOOK 1: THE EYE OF THE WORLD

As bland as New Spring was, I knew from the very first page of The Eye of the World that I was in for the treat of a lifetime. The prologue stunned me. I’d read about the terrifying mountain known as the Dragonmount, and to actually witness it’s creation…

When the prologue ended and the book truly began, I read the first paragraph and knew this was everything I’d hoped for and more:

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose in the Mountains of Mist. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings or endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.

I could just feel the giddiness. This was what I’d been craving for a long time: a world and a story to sweep me away, snatch me off the real world so I can live and breathe a land that is endlessly full of possibilities.

Rand al’Thor, our protagonist, is literally the first character we’re introduced to (not counting that fateful wind). Jordan likes to take his time with introductions and world-buildings and it is sheer joy to explore the lands he takes you to. You have vivid characters, a terrifying antagonist, an overwhelmingly vast destiny and a reluctant farm-boy thrust into legend he didn’t even know existed.

The only problem I have with his otherwise-beautiful writing style is the excessive use of commas. I myself am guilty of this, but Jordan seems to have been suffering from the same thing I do. It’s only when I began reading this that I realized how jarring it can be to have a punctuation mark placed where it shouldn’t be. I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for my own commas from now on.

It was a breath of air to meet Moiraine again, especially considering how isolated and (ahem) backward the quaint people of the Two Rivers is. We meet Rand (our titular hero), Mat and Perrin (his friends and companions, who become something of a legend themselves soon), Lan (my heart!), Egwene (Rand’s current love interest, but don’t worry: it fades soon), and the love of the love of my life, Nynaeve.

First thoughts about them:

Rand: Oh. Okay. You’re the hero. Hi! Please become cooler so I can fall in love with you.

Perrin: Hello. You seem nice.

Mat: AHAHAHAHAHA! You’re hilarious. My favorite so far!

Lan: *forgets Mat* *forgets world* *drools* Marry me? Please?

Moiraine: Lady, you’re badass and I love it!

Egwene: Firstly, you’re making me think of omelets. And secondly, not even the Aes Sedai is this bossy. Why does Rand love you, again?

Nynaeve: Tough girl equals cool girl. Teach me, sensei.

Jordan does take his sweet time getting the story started, but once it does, it really gets going. In quick, breathless succession, you’re treated to a tiny town that the villagers are awed by, nearly killed in a cursed city (the damned dagger, I tell you!), separated and then just generally tossed into chaos. Important point: Rand meets and befriends Loial, an Ogier (read the book to find out what that is), an adorable muffin of a giant whom I love all the way to Shayol Ghul and back, in this case quite literally!

By the last quarter, the heroes themselves are fully aware of the scale of the story they’re in and that’s when the reader begins to feel their heart pumping. There’s a brutal fight, two terrifying antagonists are killed (but not really, but that’s for later), and you’re left breathless when Moiraine comes to realize that Rand might be the Dragon Reborn.

As the introduction to a truly epic tale, it’s hard to believe it can get any better than this. It’s a stunning beginning to an amazing story, and it truly lets you peek at the vastness of this world while still keeping you contained enough that you don’t float away into Rand’s Void. I’d give The Eye of the World a solid 4.5/5, and it’s more than well-deserved.

BOOK 2: THE GREAT HUNT

Book 2 is when the tale starts to get into the meat of the matter, in a manner of speaking. It’s also where we are properly introduced to Siuan Sanche, one of the all-around coolest characters in this ultra-cool series, so The Great Hunt automatically gets points for that.

Again, Jordan likes to take his time with things, so unless you’re a (very!) patient reader, this book is around when most casual perusers are likely to give up. We’re all used to trilogies where the protagonist becomes insanely powerful within half of Book 2, so if that’s what you’re hoping for, it’s not going to happen. Rand begins to come into his own from Book 4, so you’re in for a long but worthy wait. And boy does Book 2 set it off nicely!

Padan Fain, a minor character encountered three, maybe four, times in The Eye of the World reveals himself to be as much of a danger as the Dark One himself, foretelling some of the events that will shake the world to its roots. Rand realizes that the powers he’d briefly discovered at the end of the last book are likely to kill him or get him killed, and he panics. Mat and Perrin join the hunt for Padan Fain, who’s stolen the Horn of Velere, with Rand and a band of Sheinarans. We’re also reintroduced to Ingtar, a hero-type character with all the makings of a great man — but with a shocking twist at the end of the story that left me gaping at the words for a full hour. Nynaeve, Egwene, Moiraine and Lan troop off to the White Tower, but the last two leave soon to learn more about the legends surrounding the Dragon Reborn.

Rand, Loial and a hilarious Shienaran half-bloodhound-half-adorkable guy called Hurin are soon separated from their party and lands in the midden of an alternate dimension. Lanfear (you gorgeous killer-lady, you) helps them get back to their own world, though. Rand is reunited with Thom (my darling gleeman, thought killed in the last book), but this spells disaster for the latter. Rand, Loial and Hurin meet up with Ingtar’s group, along with Mat and Perrin, and break into a nobleman’s house to recapture Fain and get the Horn back.

A side-note: Mat is almost dying because of the cursed dagger’s influence, a fact that preys on Rand’s mind. Perrin, in the meantime, has become a wolfbrother, meaning he can communicate telepathically with wolves, an ability which becomes vital to Rand’s struggles later.

Fain escapes to the other side of the continent (Toman Head), which is currently in the hands of the invading foreign army, the Seanchan. Nynaeve, Elayne and Min are lured there by the Black Ajah member, Liandrin (I hate this girl so much, ugh), where they are captured before Rand and the rest arrive in the port-city.

All the main protagonists converge on tiny, significant little Falme, and the world is shown the face of the Dragon Reborn for the first time: the Seanchan and the Whitecloaks attack each other, trapping our heroes in between, forcing Mat to blow the Horn and call legendary heroes from the grave to the fight while Rand enters into a terrifying battle with Ba’alzamon up in the air above the city. This is where Rand receives a wound that will trouble him for a long, long time afterwards. At the end of the book, the world is finally made aware of the presence of the Dragon Reborn, a fate which Rand is just beginning to accept as real, opening declaring himself the Dragon Reborn for the first time.

Despite being just Book 2, The Great Hunt truly begins to reveal just how epic the scale of this story is. We’re shown glimpses of a deeper history, antagonists who seem borderline un-killable and heroes who have to truly earn their places. We’re also introduced to some of the “cooler” characters (Siuan being my favorite), and it becomes very obvious that these three ta’veren will gather enough power to truly change the world. I’m giving The Great Hunt a cool 4/5, striking off a point only because of how much I loathe Padan Fain. Otherwise, it’s a worthy addition to this series.

BOOK 3: THE DRAGON REBORN

Book 3, The Dragon Reborn, is a unique book in some key ways. Firstly, the titular character (and the one around whom the behemoth revolves) is barely here. We are given only tantalizing glimpses of him as the other characters race across the land trying to find him. Another is the entire “hunting” vibe that this book oozes. We’re also given some closure for Ingtar, so I’m grateful for that.

I still feel bad for him…

Anyways.

My boy Rand is having an identity crisis here, a recurring theme throughout the story (not just this book). He knows he can channel, he’s declared himself the Dragon Reborn to his tiny group of followers, but he wants real proof that he actually is what Moiraine and Siuan think he is. What better way to do that than test the prophecies? He disappears from the group, apparently headed east. While the shocked party follows him, we’re also treated to Perrin meeting Gaul and then Faile (Light bless that girl). We also witness Min telling Perrin about her viewings of him, stuff that becomes quite significant later.

In the meantime, Mat, Min and the dagger from Shadar Logoth is taken to the White Tower by Verin, Nynaeve, Egwene and Elayne. Siuan quickly sets Nynaeve, Egwene and Elayne to hunting the Black Ajah, a task which sees them running away from the Tower very soon. Mat, during this time, is healed and given a letter by Elayne to give to her mother, Queen Morgase. Mat and Thom set off to Andor together, but once in the Palace, they uncover a plot by Morgase’s lover, Lord Gaebril, to murder Elayne. Bound by honor, Mat decides to follow the girls to Tear, the same place that Rand’s headed.

Once again, all the characters converge on Tear, which is an extremely rich and important city, unlike Falme. Faile is trapped in the Dream World but rescued by Perrin, who by now has fallen deeply in love with her. Nynaeve and the girl, in their own turn, are rescued by Mat when they’re imprisoned in the fortress called the Stone of Tear.

Rand and Be’lal duel, but the Forsaken is killed by Moiraine with balefire. We then realize that Rand had not truly killed Ba’alzamon in Falme; the two fight again, with Rand winning when he wields Callandor, a crystal sword which has the ability to enhance the user’s powers immensely. However, they quickly realize that the man Rand has killed is not actually the Dark One himself but the chief of the Forsaken, Ishamael.

The book ends with Rand conquering the infallible Stone of Tear with the Aiel in Tear, proving both to himself and to the world that he truly is the Dragon Reborn as prophesied.

The Dragon Reborn is the beginning of Rand coming to his own, searching for who he truly is and then accepting his destiny as the man who must bring about the Last Battle and fight the Dark One. After having taken the Stone, there is no denying that is exactly who he is. Rand grants me the request I made when I first him to become cooler. He becomes almost too cool to handle, and I am definitely not complaining! The other characters, who had already been vivid in their own way, explodes into life.

I do want to add something of a side-note here.

Some modern readers may find Jordan’s frequent comparisons of the differences between men and women uncomfortable — considering the varieties of gender that we now acknowledge — but you do have to keep in mind that this story was written in the 1990’s. Sexuality and gender were seen differently at the time, which is why there are no non-heterosexual relationships here or even people who identify themselves as anything other than strictly male or female. Even the One Power (the source of magic in this world) is split equally into two halves, male and female. Not once have I felt that Jordan was expressing his own beliefs here. He simply wrote as people during the time of writing thought.

As for the book itself, The Dragon Reborn, builds on the promise of the first two books and continue to pile on the suspense I’ve felt since page one. There’s lore, there’s history, there’s story and then there’s suspense. Even with Rand almost always being in the background of the scenes, his presence (or absence!) is always felt. Loial the Ogier is an adorable, overgrown bear  whom I absolutely adore, and he turns out to be quite a fierce fighter despite his gentle nature. Nynaeve, Elayne and Egwene grow out of interesting background characters into women who realize they have a job that the entire world may depend on and boy do they embrace it!

The Dragon Reborn earns 4.5/5 from me for masterful storytelling and the ability to keep me up until dawn unable to put the book down and giving me a panic attack when my Kindle finally runs out of battery. I’ve never plugged a device in so fast in my life, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Don’t judge me, you meanie. Rand had just seized Callandor and I was losing my mind.

BOOK 4: SHADOW RISING

Shadow Rising is Book 4 of The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan’s Tolkienesque epic fantasy tale with a massive cast of characters, a truly heart-thumping story of one man given an impossible fate. For the fourth time in a row, Jordan proves that he had a tale to tell that would leave readers gasping. And his delivery is flawless. Almost. But we’ll get to that very soon.

Also, this is where Siuan suffers one of the worst things that can happen to an Aes Sedai, and it truly broke my heart to see her like that. She proves her to be more than up to the challenge, however, and this only increases my admiration of this woman. What a lady!

Shadow Rising picks up almost exactly where The Dragon Reborn left us, with Rand just having claimed Callandor and conquered the impenetrable fortress of the Stone of Tear, proving him to truly be the long-awaited Dragon Reborn. However, being literally the most powerful creature in the world does not mean things go easy for him. The Stone is attacked by an army of Shadowspawn and Rand uses Callandor to devastating effect, destroying the army single-handedly by creating a lightning storm. This is also where we, as readers, witness Rand hearing Lews Therin’s voice in his mind for the first time.

Knowing he needs powerful allies, Rand buries Callandor into the Heart of the Stone (another part of the prophesies) and goes to the Aiel Waste with Egwene, Moiraine and Lan. Elayne — who is in love with Rand, a feeling which is returned — entrusts his care to Aviendha, an Aiel Maiden who quickly became fast friends with the girls. Mat, who encounters a snake-like species called the Aelfinn through a spelled gateway in the Stone, is compelled by his ta’veren nature (aided by Rand’s significantly more powerful ta’veren swirls of the Pattern) to accompany them. Perrin decides to go back to the Two Rivers (followed by Faile, Loial and three Aiel) after hearing of troubles in his old home. He does not meet the others for a very long, but don’t worry, he never falls out of the picture. Quite the contrary, in fact. At the same time, Elayne, Nynaeve and Thom head off to Tarabon to continue their hunt for the Black Ajah, while Min finally (after an entire book!) reaches Tar Valon. The books follows each of these storylines in perfect parallel and it is beautiful.

In the Waste, Rand, Mat, Egwene, Moiraine and Lan (my gorgeous hunk) encounter the fierce Aiel people, the best warriors in the world with their own culture, beliefs and customs in stark contrast to what we’ve seen so far. Moiraine, Mat and Rand all enter Rhuidean, the sacred city of the Aiel, where all experience life-changing visions. Mat encounters the Aelfinn through yet another ter’angreal and given a foxhead medallion which makes him immune to the One Power, all the memories of his ancestors and then hanged on a spear, a weapon which he later adopts for his own once revived by Rand. Moiraine enters the city, but what she sees is not revealed for some time yet. Rand, on the other hand, encounters his Aiel heritage through his Aiel father’s ancestors, during the entire stunning history of this warlike folk, and the prophecy of the car’a’carn, the Aiel’s own version of the Dragon Reborn. He emerges with dragon markings on both arms, proving himself to be both their savior and their destroyer. This last, however, is contested by the chief of the Shaido Aiel, Couladin, who declares himself the car’a’carn. Rand reveals the secret history of the Aiel to the entire nation, stunning them and proving the truth. He is forced to call in a rainstorm (in a desert!) to stop the fighting and then goes back to Rhuidean in pursuit of Asmodean, one of the Forsaken who had been tailing him. Asmodean is defeated and his access to the One Power is limited on the condition that he teach Rand. When they return, most of the Aiel have accepted Rand as their “chief of chiefs”.

Meanwhile, back in the Two Rivers, Perrin inadvertently uses his ta’veren nature (along with the help of Faile, Loial, Verin, Alanna and his Aiel friends) to fight back against the Trollocs attacking the villages. He is nicknamed “Goldeneyes” and called “Lord Perrin”, to his disgust. He and Faile marry but he sends her off “to get help” (his way of protecting her, ugh). The Whitecloaks, who’d been there the entire time, promise to help, but when the time comes and they do not keep their word, they are driven off. Faile returns with massive reinforcements from the other villages, and the Two Rivers acknowledge “Lord Perrin Goldeneyes” and “Lady Faile” — a situation which Faile approves off but Perrin finds annoying.

At the same time, in Tanchico, Elayne and Nynaeve (accompanied by the adorable Thom and the hilarious Juilin) encounter the Forsaken Moghedien, meet Egeanin and find one of the broken Seals of the Dark One’s prison. Nynaeve quickly realizes that she actually matches the Forsaken woman for power, but the latter manages to escape.

In Tar Valon, Min arrives at the White Tower and reports to Siuan, but has to remain disguised as an idiotic girl named Elmindreda (which happens to be her real name). Soon afterwards, Elaida deposes Siuan and Leane, stilling them both and breaking the White Tower into two factions: Siuan’s supporters (named rebels) and Elaida’s followers (who prevail). Min manages to break the women out from prison and escape Tar Valon (assisted grudgingly by Elayne’s brother Gawyn, who supports Elaida). While on the run, the three of them pick up Logain, a False Dragon who had been gentled.

Compared to the other books, Shadow Rising is more action-packed. There’s a lot going on here, with every single character encountering and then resolving conflicts of their own. Being perfectly honest, I thought the Tanchico parts of the book dragged a little. It’s still interesting, of course, but does not really live up to the standards I’ve come to expect from Robert Jordan. I thought the same might happen with Perrin’s story, but I found myself interested, then fascinated and eventually hooked, going so far as to groan out loud when the next chapter featured a different place. There were times when I was actually more interested in Perrin than Rand. The Aiel Waste storyline was shocking, especially when it is revealed that this extremely volatile folk are actually descended from a people who were sworn to a life of peace, refusing violence even in defense. To think they’re now the world’s foremost warriors! What a twist!

I’ll give Shadow Rising a 4.9/5. It loses that 0.1 simply because I found myself not really caring much about Tanchico at all. Sure, it was fine, but Jordan has spoiled me with true page-turning adventures and this was not quite up there. Otherwise, Book 4 is one of the high points of The Wheel of Time, and I cannot recommend it strongly enough.

BOOK 5: THE FIRES OF HEAVEN

The Fires of Heaven does not feature Perrin, so it automatically loses a full point for that. I missed him so much! But aside from that, there’s much more to this book than people say. I know that some fans do not like this installment much, calling it a “filler” and “aimless” and a lot of other things, but personally speaking, I did not find it so. Yes, it’s true, compared to the neck-breaking pace of the last book, this is slow. But it also features the first battle we witness in which the One Power is used extensively. How can I possibly not love it?

But then Moiraine…oh Light, Moiraine! Noooooooooo! Okay, let’s just get this over with…

The Shaido Aiel, led by the absolutely dung-brained Couladin, invade Cairhien in retaliation for Rand declaring himself the car’a’carn of the Aiel. Rand, of course, gathers the rest of the Aiel (a massive army of both men and women) and follows them. A tremendous battle takes place just outside the gates of Cairhien, with Rand and Egwene wielding the One Power against the colossal army of Shaido. Mat, who has been trying desperately to get away from all this mess, ends up only getting himself more deeply entrenched in Rand’s ta’veren swirls when he saves some troops from a Shaido ambush and ends up not only gathering a small army loyal only to himself but also kills the Shaido leader Couladin in single combat. It’s not the end of the Shaido, however, not by a long shot..

Once Cairhien is firmly under Rand’s control, Lanfear returns with a vengeance. Finding out that Rand (the reincarnation of her old lover, Lews Therin) has slept with Aviendha, the Forsaken flies into a monstrous rage and lashes out. Moiraine, who had seen this and the outcome of this during her experience at Rhuidean, grabs Lanfear, making them both fall through a ter’angreal which is instantly destroyed. Lan’s bond to Moiraine is passed automatically to another Aes Sedai, Myrelle as Moiraine had planned months ago. Myrelle was to pass the bond on to Nynaeve once the two lovers had grown strong enough. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Rand receives the news that Queen Morgase, queen of Andor and Elayne’s mother, had supposedly been murdered by the Forsaken Rahvin and invades Caemlyn with a small Aiel strike force in retribution. Almost immediately upon arriving by Traveling, however, Mat, Aviendha and Asmodean are killed. Shaken to the core by this, Rand pursues Rahvin until they both physically enter Tel’aran’rhiod, the Dream World. There, with Nynaeve’s help (who has Moghedien bound to her, but more on that later), Rand kills Rahvin with balefire, reviving Mat, Aviendha and Asmodean. Asmodean’s life, however, is short-lived this time. Just hours after coming back, he goes in search of drinks and killed by an unidentified entity. The person behind is not revealed for a long, long time, though.

Morgase, despite the rumors, had not been killed. Being very strong-willed, she manages to shake off the enchantments of  Lord Gaebril (the nobleman that Rahvin was posing as) long enough to gather Tallanvor, a guardsman deeply in love with her, her old nurse Lini, a fiercely loyal innkeeper named Master Gill (who had once housed almost the entire cast of characters), and two commoners and escape Caemlyn. Morgase hopes to gather her old supports and regain her throne, and set off in a direction her enemies would never suspect: Amadicia, the home of the Children of the Light.

Meanwhile, Nynaeve, Elayne, Thom and Juilin learn of the division of the White Tower and search for the rebel Aes Sedai. They find shelter in a traveling menagerie when they accidentally encounter Galad, Elayne’s half-brother, who has joined the Children of the Light. They had been communicating with Egwene through Tel’aran’rhiod, and that is where Nynaeve meets Birgitte Silverbow, a legendary hero bound to the Horn of Velere and spun out of the Pattern to be rewoven back in when needed. Since she had already fought and nearly defeated Moghedien once more, Nynaeve  faces the Forsaken again. However, Birgitte is thrown out of Tel’aran’rhiod into the waking world during the fight and almost killed. Elayne bonds her as her Warder despite not being a full Aes Sedai yet as the only way of saving her. Nynaeve manages to trap Moghedien with a Seanchan a’dam, using this to distract Rahvin enough so that Rand can kill him.

Siuan, Min, Leane and Logain have been traveling through dangerous lands as well. The women are obligated to swear service to Gareth Bryne (a Great Captain who had been in service to Queen Morgase and her lover before being exiled once the Queen came under Rahvin’s influence). They run off soon, though, reasoning that they had never mentioned when they would keep their oath, not even dreaming that Bryne would follow them with a small group of his own men, all the way to Salidar where the rebel Aes Sedai have gathered. They are not truly accepted back, with many blaming Siuan for the division of the White Tower, but they convince the rebels that Siuan and Leanne can be useful despite having been stilled.

Three things in this book truly stood out for me.

The first was, of course, the death of Moiraine. She had been such an integral part of the story so far that I felt almost as lost as Rand once I realized that she was gone. Her letter to him was painful, and it was a few days before I had the heart to pick the book back up. Rand’s reaction to her demise was so perfectly handled, I could almost feel his grief and confusion.

The second was another death: Asmodean. Without even realizing, I’d grown very attached to this hilarious Forsaken. Any scene with him had me either gripping the Kindle dangerously hard or just dropping it while I laughed out loud. His abrupt end had been flipping pages back and forth for a while to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood. But no, Asmodean really is gone. And so is Lanfear. What am I supposed to do with my life now?

The third was how much Morgase’s story intrigued me. It drew a lot of parallels with Siuan, in my eyes. Both were extremely powerful women in very high places who seemed infallible. And then their worlds come crashing down abruptly. They are very strong women, however, and take what they’re given. I definitely prefer Siuan over Morgase, obviously, but the former queen’s story felt different from the rest of the book. We have her strong will and her endless determination, of course, but there’s also the depthless love of a mother for her children in her thoughts. She’s constantly worrying about Galad and Gawyn and Elayne, and it just goes to show that she isn’t just the Queen of Andor, she is a devoted mother as well. I found that beautiful.

What I said at the beginning about Perrin still holds, however, and there were times when the plot did not seem to be going anywhere at all (the menagerie, anyone?). It’s not a high point, but it’s not entirely a low one either. I give it a solid 3/5. Not exactly great, but entirely bad at all.

I miss Asmodean

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[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 5

Rand thinks about choices and destruction and Moiraine, I’m completely fine everything is fine, and also Semirhage.

Chapter 5: A Tale of Blood

Back to Rand. He seems to be more present in this book than in the last few, at least at first glance. Present in a narrative sense, that is…I make no such claims as to his mental state.

The Pattern had no place for his onetime insistence that all Aes Sedai be kept at arm’s length. It wove as it willed, and experience had shown that Rand needed these Aes Sedai. What he wanted no longer mattered. He understood that now.

He’s right, but he’s also wrong. Or he’s right, but…in the wrong way. This is sort of where I was going with the comparison between him and Egwene in terms of their agency – or, more importantly, their self-perceived agency. ‘He belongs to the Pattern, and to history’ (still can’t get over that quote), and there is truth to the idea that his life is not his own. That he will bleed for the world, and they will both love and despise him for it, and the world will die if he does not. This is his task, his duty, his destiny.

And he has accepted that – accepted it as something to be endured but never embraced. It’s hard to fault him for that, given that fate pretty much bashed him over the head with the cosmic ‘fuck you’ stick.

But maybe he does need to choose. Maybe he needs to go into this willingly, truly willingly, rather than dragging himself to the end with little more motivation than the promise of his death. It’s a fight against oblivion and nothingness and the embodiment of entropy and emptiness…so in order to fight nothing, he has to choose something. But he has wrapped himself so thoroughly in the void and tried to strip away so much of his humanity and his self that there is nothing left for him to choose, or no ability left to do so; he is a weapon, and so he will be wielded by the Pattern that forced this on him. Which then amounts to nothingness fighting nothingness and that way lies disaster.

Or something like that.

Also I would make a truly abysmal prophecied hero.

[Elza] was pleasant, for an Aes Sedai, despite the fact that she had helped kidnap Rand and lock him in a box for days, to be pulled out only for the occasional beating.

But let’s let bygones be bygones, shall we? I mean it was one time. Well, several. Depending on how we’re counting. But who’s counting, right?

Soon, one of those wounds – or perhaps both – would spill Rand’s blood onto the rocks of Shayol Ghul. He wasn’t certain if they would be what killed him or not; with the number and variety of the different factors competing to take Rand’s life, even Mat wouldn’t have known which one was the best bet.

This is very Sanderson but it’s also very true and I enjoy it.

Mat shows up via magical colour swirls, and Tuon’s not with him but Rand doesn’t actually know who she is. He’s heard a description, and seen Semirhage disguised as Tuon, though she was veiled so…I wonder if he has enough information to figure it out. In fairness to him, it wouldn’t exactly be an obvious first guess, without any sort of context.

Hopefully, Mat would return to him soon. He would need Mat and his tactical skills at Shayol Ghul.

I’m sure he’ll be there, Rand, but he’s got this one little errand to run first. Something to do with a tower, a children’s game, and some random woman in blue…

Rand had left [Darlin] with orders to gather an army and prepare it for marching into Arad Doman. That gathering had been completed for some time now, and Darlin wondered – yet again – about his orders. Could no one simply do as they were told?

Ah, yes, it’s always a good sign when hero-coded characters start saying or thinking things like WHY CAN’T EVERYONE JUST OBEY ME. (I mean hero-coded in an overall sense, because at this exact point in Rand’s arc he’s having a bit of difficulty on that front. Which I am very much enjoying). Because he doesn’t have choices, so why should anyone else? It doesn’t matter what he wants, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants. There is a degree of justification: he is trying to hold everything together, and order is likely a necessary counter to the chaos that’s trying to overwhelm them. But take that too far, and it becomes its own problem.

Welcome back, Harine. I’m sure Cadsuane will be thrilled to see you. Almost as thrilled as you are to see her, no doubt.

At times he felt so tired – so weary to his bones – that he knew he had to keep moving. Never stopping. If he did, his enemies would find him. Either that, or his own exhaustion, both mental and physical, would drag him down.

Or his past life – not to mention the reality of his current one, and everything he has tried to strip away and leave behind – might catch up to him.

More demands, more frustration that they aren’t being met immediately, with no delay or waiting for things like realistic travel times.

Though he backs off more or less in time to avoid outright telling Harine that her people aren’t keeping their Bargain, because that would probably not be the best diplomatic tactic. He makes up for it by ta’verening the exact nature of her punishment out of her, though. It’s okay, Harine, he’s been locked in a box and beaten regularly. I’m sure he can sympathise.

Even when he wasn’t present, he caused pain and suffering!

He believes he has no choices, yet he is also determined to take responsibility for everything. You can’t have it both ways, Rand. Or, you can, but it will eventually break you.

“I am glad you have returned,” he forced himself to say. No smile, but a softer tone. That was the best he could do. “You have impressed me, Harine, with your levelheadedness.”

And you have impressed me, Rand, with your levelheadedness here. Forced as it may be.

Ah. So that’s why he wanted to talk to her.

“How do the Sea Folk treat men who can channel?”

She hesitated. “That is not a matter for the shorebound to know.”

Rand met her eyes. “If you agree to answer, then I will answer one question for you in return.”

That’s quite an offer. It depends how she uses it, of course, but Rand holds his cards so close to his chest at this point – for a while now, really – that it’s no small thing for him to give, and of his own volition.

“I have little patience right now.”

I’d give a point for self-awareness but then I’d have to deduct it for massive understatement.

Death by drowning or death by deserted island. I’ll go with option C, thank you very much.

She’s very diplomatic but also pretty damn clear in saying that she doesn’t believe the taint is actually cleansed. Unsurprising but still unfortunate.

“It is true,” he said firmly.

“I do not doubt that you believe it to be so.”

It’s a perfect way of summing up the problem, really. But unsaid is the question of whether what he believes can be reliably taken as true – and while this is something Rand is certain of, there are all too many other cases in which he doesn’t know if he can trust himself anymore. So there is very little he can say to convince her, and on some level he must also know all too well that her doubt is not unjustified.

He had cleansed the taint! He, Rand al’Thor, had performed a deed the likes of which had not been seen since the Age of Legends. And how was it treated? With suspicion and doubt. Most assumed that he was going mad, and therefore seeing a ‘cleansing’ that had not really happened.

Men who could channel were always distrusted. Yet they were the only ones who could confirm what Rand said!

In which I should turn the page before typing. But…yes, that’s precisely the issue. The only way people can trust the word of a man who can channel is if they believe saidin to be clean, but the only way to know if saidin is clean is to take the word of a man who can channel. It’s a beautiful Catch-22.

He’d imagined joy and wonder at the victory, but he should have known better.

It is such a bitter truth. He did something absolutely incredible, something that healed a millennia-old wound, something good and wondrously hopeful to leave behind as he so desperately wants to, to counter the destruction he hates himself for. He cleansed saidin and allowed for the Source to be balanced once again, for the entire world to change…and yet it is met with doubt and uncertainty and very little change. It means everything, to the men who can channel. And almost nothing to nearly everyone else.

It’s realistic, though, which is what makes it so bittersweet. How do you convince the world of something all but impossible? Something few can judge for themselves, something that seems too good to be true, and on the word of one who is destined to destroy and go mad, no less?

(I also feel like this quote works as an unintentional but still fitting response to those who were disappointed with Crossroads of Twilight).

The days of Jorlen Corbesan had been lost in time.

Um?

He froze. Jorlen Corbesan had been one of the most talented Aes Sedai before the Breaking, a man who had crafted some of the most amazing ter’angreal Rand had ever seen. Except Rand had not seen them.

Ah. Last book he used the wrong words for things like ‘weave’ and now this…it’s much like when Lews Therin’s memories first started leaking into Rand’s mind, back in TSR and TFoH. Then, they didn’t really manifest as a voice so much as things Rand would just think or say, and only afterwards realise that they were not ‘his’. And then as that increased, and more seeped across the flawed barrier between lifetimes, Lews Therin’s voice came into play more and more – I think as a result of Rand trying to maintain a failing barrier, or to essentially shield himself from this perceived other, to maintain a separation out of fear of losing himself otherwise. But now even that is failing, and things are getting through – and have been for a while, but it seems like it’s accelerating – without his notice again.

But he still can’t accept it, not truly, and at this point I am all but certain he’s going to have to. Because what he’s doing right now isn’t working, and is probably hurting more than it’s helping. He’s divided and fighting against himself and he needs to instead…surrender in order to control, more or less.

The most terrifying part was that Rand could no longer make himself wish to banish Lews Therin. Lews Therin had known a way to seal the Bore, if imperfectly, but Rand had no idea how to approach the task. The safety of the world might depend on the memories of a dead madman.

It’s going to be hard to remember if you’re fighting the aspect of yourself that actually remembers, Rand. But he’s so afraid of losing himself, and it’s not hard to see why. And there’s everything else that would come with accepting Lews Therin’s life as his own past, like for instance the crushing guilt of having the blood of all his loved ones and also sort of the world on his hands. So…Rand’s mind is a mess, news at 11.

Did he not ask the Aelfinn, then, about how to re-seal the Dark One’s prison? He asked about cleansing the taint, and about how to win the Last Battle and survive, but I don’t recall him telling what his third question was. If it wasn’t how to seal the Bore, what was it?

“I accept your answer,” he said stiffly. “What is your question of me?”

“I will ask it later,” she said. “Once I have had a chance to consider.”

A wise choice, no doubt. I wonder what she’ll ask him…I’m trying to think what might be the most impactful questions, but that depends on what she wants and what he wants and what the plot wants so there are rather a lot of variables to consider.

‘Portal’ as a synonym for ‘gateway’ seems new, but maybe I’m just imagining things.

Flinn had come to Rand because he wanted to learn Healing. Rand had turned him into a weapon instead.

And, in a beautiful twist of irony, it was Taim and also one of the Forsaken who helped Flinn learn Healing.

So Rand’s taking an informal poll of all two Aes Sedai present, to see what they believe regarding the taint. For the sake of your…sanity…Rand, I’d suggest not doing that.

“During the Time of Madness, it took decades for some people to accept that the male Aes Sedai were doomed to go insane. It will likely take longer for them to overcome their distrust, now that it has been ingrained for so long.”

Definitely not what Rand wants to hear but also almost certainly the truth. From one who is Black Ajah, no less.

Was this all he would leave to the world? A taint cleansed, yet men still killed or exiled for something they could not help?

You can’t hate yourself for the nature of the world, Rand. But it hurts nonetheless.

He had bound most nations to him. Yet he knew well that the tighter one tied a bale, the sharper the snap of the cords when they were cut. What would happen when he died? Wars and devastation to match the Breaking?

Maybe not immediately, but…it’s like Bashere said. “Let’s hope it really is the Last Battle. If we live through that, I don’t think we’ll ever want to see another. We will, though. There’s always another battle.” Which is a rather grim outlook from one angle, with a sense of such overwhelming and yet ultimately futile sacrifice. Especially with memories of a past life, a past Breaking, a past fight that demanded everything and in the end yielded pain. And how far is it from this line of thought to ‘this is all I will ever have, in any lifetime, until the time finally comes when I fail’? It’s such a thankless task, and he’s at a point where he can see very little besides destruction and death and pain, and so little promise for anything else.

But then it could also be seen in a more…hopeful light, in that even though the future is uncertain, and even though this battle may not bring about a miraculous true paradise and an end to all suffering, it’s still a future. Perhaps not a perfect one, but at least it’s something, and maybe it will be war and devastation, but also maybe it won’t.

He hadn’t been able to help that last time, for his madness and grief at Ilyena’s death had consumed him.

He doesn’t catch himself here, in these thoughts that belong more to Lews Therin Telamon than to Rand al’Thor…

Did he have a choice?

I don’t know, Rand. Do you?

Duty was truly heavier than a mountain; it forced his hand as often as the prophecies did. Or were they both one and the same? Duty and prophecy? His nature as a ta’veren and his place in history? Could he change his life? Could he leave the world better for his passing, rather than leaving the nations scarred, torn and bleeding?

He can leave them a future. And that is far better than the alternative. He reminded himself of something along those lines once or twice, in the earlier books. But it must be such an easy thing to lose track of, or to lose faith in, when all around him is pain and he stands at the centre of it all.

But before, he was still determined to exert some control over his path. He was determined not to channel. Then he was determined to not use people – and then just determined not to use his friends. And so many other things, so many limits he’s tried to set and then been forced to betray. And every time he crossed one of those lines he relinquished some sense of control or choice, until he is left with almost nothing.

“I envy them sometimes,” Rand whispered.

“My Lord?” Flinn asked, stepping up to him.

“The people of the camp,” Rand said. “They do as they are told, working each day under orders. Strict orders, at times. But orders or not, those people are more free than I.”

This feels…off, to me. I could maybe see Rand confiding that kind of feeling to someone in the first few books, but now…maybe to Min, on a good day, but to Damer Flinn? Rand has an interesting relationship with self-pity; he rarely expresses it and doesn’t think he deserves it, but he is in more or less constant agony and his life is hell, so it does exist. But it tends to come through as an undercurrent rather than an outright explanation like this. But who knows, maybe he’s just so close to the edge of his endurance and has too many things on his mind that some will slip out at this point. It’s not unlike some of the conversations he had with Lan early on, so maybe he’s just talking to one of the few people he’s inclined to trust, because Flinn saved his life. It just seems odd to me.

“Those people out there, any one of them could just ride away. Escape, if they felt like it. Leave the battle to others.”

So could you, Rand. The world would likely die, but you could do it. Yet that is…unthinkable, to him. And so we get this choice-that-is-not-a-choice, at least as he currently perceives it. But to those others, it may not feel like any more of a choice. Their sense of duty and honour may demand it of them, even if they are not given the same kind of prophecied mandate as he is. And so we’re back to this issue of perceived agency.

“I’ve known a few Saldaeans in my day, my Lord,” Flinn said. “Forgive me, but I have doubts that any one of them would do that.”

Well, he’s certainly known Bashere and Taim, who could both be said to show a strong sense of determination and even duty, though in…rather different ways.

We all do as we must, Moiraine’s voice from the past returned to his memory. As the Pattern decrees. For some there is less freedom than for others. It does not matter whether we choose or are chosen. What must be, must be.

I love these moments where Rand remembers Moiraine’s voice and her advice. There’s such a lovely melancholy sweetness to them, stripped of the resentment or antagonism that so often accompanied them when Moiraine was actually present. Now that she’s gone, he just remembers it as advice, and remembers it with a sad fondness rather than frustration.

Moiraine dedicated her life to finding and guiding the Dragon Reborn. She found him, but guiding him was an ongoing struggle…but in the end she has succeeded in that. Because she is guiding him now, by way of memory that, rather than being tainted by distrust of Aes Sedai or dislike of being told what to do, is made almost sacred by her sacrifice and apparent death.

‘It does not matter whether we choose or are chosen’ reminds me rather a lot of Rand and Egwene and how they fall on either side of that. Though of course it applies in a greater sense as well; Moiraine always did have a remarkable sense of peace or accommodation with the notion of fate.

She had understood. I’m trying, Moiraine, he thought.

Oh.

Okay, right, this is fine. I’m fine.

Yeah. Everything I just said about Rand thinking of Moiraine, take that and multiply it and add pain. She had understood. I just. It’s so softly sad and beautiful after their whole mess of a dynamic and maybe it’s only because she’s gone and he blames himself, but he now sees her so differently and sees everything that she was trying to do, and understands that she understood – more than most, anyway – and that she was giving everything to this. And that she knew something of choices. (It was the title of her parting chapter, after all).

You will do well, Rand. And he is trying, he’s trying so hard and everything he says and thinks and does right now is laced with a sense of despair but he’s still trying. And he thinks it to Moiraine, tries to tell her, because she was the one who understood first and gave everything she could for him and the world. Because she was the one who told him it was his task but also told him that he would do well. And because she is the one he thinks would understand now, and he now understands what she was trying to tell him, and so he wants her to…know.

It’s only a moment but it’s such an effective moment of insight beneath this exterior of steel and detachment he’s trying so hard to preserve and strengthen, beneath the anger and frustration and darkness that’s been building. Because in this thought he seems so…young and lost and yet determined. And the fact that she’s the one he thinks of, and tries to ‘tell’, is just…perfect and sad and yeah this was A Moment.

“It’s time to secure Arad Doman.”

Or maybe it was time to destroy it. Sometimes, it was difficult to tell the difference.

Wow. That…is terrifying but also excellent. And a chillingly sharp contrast to what came just before.

It definitely speaks of approaching a breaking point, where he can no longer tell the difference because he has so much blood on his hands in the name of salvation that the lines become too fine to distinguish, and all that is left is the single focus of reaching Tarmon Gai’don, but all the rest blurs… “If he goes to Tarmon Gai’don as he is, even his victory may be as dark as his defeat.”

Oh hi, Cadsuane, I was just talking about you. Or quoting you, I should say.

I’m not sure asking Semirhage about Graendal’s plans is going to be a productive line of inquiry. Even if she does miraculously feel like answering. Graendal knows Graendal’s plans, and Moridin probably knows a fair bit, but I would not put any money at all on anyone else knowing for sure.

At the moment, for instance, Cadsuane wanted to crush the teacup between her hands, then perhaps spend an hour or so stamping on the shards.

She took another sip.

Ha. That is entirely relatable.

I also don’t think turning Semirhage upside-down is going to do much of anything. Except give you a really good view up her nostrils.

Their prisoner was Semirhage. A monster who many thought was simply a legend. Cadsuane did not know how many of the stories about the woman were true.

Take out ‘monster’ and you could say the same of Cadsuane. Which makes them a rather interesting pair.

(I suppose some characters would argue against taking out ‘monster’).

“Well?” Merise demanded. “My question: you have an answer?”

Semirhage regarded Merise, icy contempt in her voice as she spoke. “Do you know what happens to a man when his blood is replaced with something else?”

I…love her?

I feel like that is not the intended response here but oh man I love characters who can flip something like this on its head (upside-down, if you will) and torment even when they are meant to be the one tormented. And wow what a reply that was.

Merise keeps trying to ask questions and Semirhage keeps interrupting with perfect, clinical calm, explaining her…ah. Tale of blood. The chapter title makes sense. (And I suppose has a double meaning, given Rand’s thoughts of war and death and destruction, and his despair of bringing anything else).

“My warning—” Merise began again.

“I had one subject survive an entire hour after the transfusion,” Semirhage said in a calm, conversational tone.

She’s playing this so perfectly and she barely has to try. Merise can’t even finish speaking, and Semirhage doesn’t so much as acknowledge her questions. She doesn’t refuse to answer, she just keeps talking as if Merise isn’t there. Not angry or afraid or even really threatening, because any of those would imply that she felt at a disadvantage in some way. No, just talking calmly of something calculated to disturb, to put Merise even more on edge. Semirhage is bound and held up by her feet but she is absolutely in control of the room right now.

She met Merise’s eyes. “I will show you the weave someday.”

Oh wow. She started with a question designed to shock, and ends with…this. It’s chillingly perfect. She’s terrifying and I love her.

“You were losing control of her,” Cadsuane said firmly, setting her tea on the floor beside her chair.

Losing? That would imply that she had any at all to begin with.

“We can break her,” Cadsuane said.

“Can we, Cadsuane?”

“Phaw! Of course we can. She is human, just like anyone else.”

Which is actually an important thing to understand and acknowledge, because most view the Forsaken as something…other. Something far greater and more terrible, impossible to stand up to or overcome. But they are just human, and credit to Cadsuane for pointing that out so…casually, almost. Like Semirhage, she knows the value of remaining calm and unafraid and unruffled. Dismissive, almost.

Of course, Merise and the others – like all the women in the Tower these days – still fell short of what an Aes Sedai should be. These younger Aes Sedai had been allowed to grow soft and weak, prone to bickering.

Some would include you in that category, Cadsuane. She’s not entirely wrong, but it’s all a matter of perspective.

Over two centuries ago, she’d sworn to herself that she’d live to attend the Last Battle, no matter how long that took.

And, in classic Cadsuane fashion, she’s actually kept to that vow, unless she dies tomorrow or something. No doubt the Last Battle hurried itself up in an effort to avoid her displeasure.

Unfortunately, her years had taught her that no measure of planning or determination could make life turn out as you wanted. That didn’t stop her from being annoyed when it didn’t.

This is one of the things I like about Cadsuane: she’s very self-aware. She absolutely has her flaws, but for the most part she acknowledges and accounts for them. More so than most, at any rate.

“The a’dam. If only the Lord Dragon would let us use it on her…” Merise said, glancing at Semirhage.

Any mention of an a’dam in connection with Semirhage makes me REALLY WORRIED because there’s still the giant Chekhov’s gun of the male a’dam that Semirhage had, and that is still there, and this cannot possibly end well.

Cadsuane found herself thinking about al’Thor. The boy had resisted her teaching as stubbornly as Semirhage resisted questioning.

It’s interesting to have this so soon after Rand thinking of Moiraine’s advice. He resisted that, too, at the time. It’s only now that he doesn’t. But Cadsuane probably doesn’t have any intentions of dying just to make Rand appreciate her.

Cadsuane hated admitting failure. And this was not a failure, not yet, but she was close.

She doesn’t like admitting it, but she can. She’s stubborn and frustrating at times, but she is also able to see when something isn’t working, and she tries to figure it out. She may or may not succeed, but she understands and tries.

With a chill, looking into those eyes, Cadsuane thought she saw something of herself in the creature. Age, craftiness and unwillingness to budge.

That, then, left a question for her. If given the task, how would Cadsuane go about breaking herself?

Oh, I love this. Talk about self-awareness… I was looking forward to seeing what would happen with Cadsuane and Semirhage set against each other, and this is better than I expected. It’s perfect. Especially because for Cadsuane, of all people, that question goes against her very nature. So, of course, it is the one she must answer. Acknowledge and use her own weakness, and make it into a strength somehow. What a great direction to go with this.

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