#every other character is just either up in the air or i've changed them so much that i don't even know anymore HSDJKFHJKSDF
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Wire... what's Elliot's sexuality..?
that man is GAY!!
#why was it asked like this#brambleramble#anyways a lot of my characters i don't really have a solid preference decided#like there are very few characters that i am like. this guy is specifically X#but elliot is one of them#he just likes dudes#if any one is wondering for any of the other 100% decided orientations:#bonnie is aromantic. zack is gay. brook is gay (but she doesn't realise for a while).#tim is ace. and that's basically it.#every other character is just either up in the air or i've changed them so much that i don't even know anymore HSDJKFHJKSDF#rachel used to be hardline straight but i play around with her relations so much#i don't know if that's entirely solid anymore either.
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one, two, and....
Hanamaki x reader x Matsukawa
cw: cisfem reader, threesome, PIV sex, squirting
a/n: I've been working on this forever and I think it's time to release it into the world. Originally it was supposed to have three different endings to choose from, so maybe one day I'll release the Snyder Cut With all three lol!
"I've been thinking of starting an OnlyFans."
You and Makki turn to your friend, sharing identical blank expressions. Mattsun doesn't crack a smile, eyes never leaving the television screen. With a few swipes of his thumbs, the dark-haired man has knocked your video game character off of the map with absolutely no mercy, forcing you to half heartedly return to playing.
"You kinda gotta be hot for that," Makki chides. He's been dead for a while now, so he just tosses his controller to the side. He's on the other side of his friend, leaning back away from the arm of the couch with a half-cocked smile.
"I am hot. Like, really hot," Mattsun replies, "And I have a pornstar cock."
A heat washes over your face and drains down your whole body. You can't deny it: Matsukawa Issei is hot. Like, really hot. Even in the low light, with only the neon flickering of the television illuminating the sharp angles of his face, he's beautiful. Heavy lidded eyes and thin lips that break into a troublesome grin-- it's almost tragic how beautiful he is.
You'd give your right leg for either of them to think of you as anything other than a 'bro'.
"Shut the fuck up." You're jamming the controller too hard and the plastic whines under the pressure, " 'Pornstar cock.' As if. You're such an asshole."
"Nah, that's true. He does have a massive cock." Makki nods, sticking his tongue through the gap between his canine and molar. He's cuter than his dark haired friend, with round cheeks that dimple when he laughs and round eyes that almost disappear when he smiles. It's a different type of hot-- an imperfect one that you crave all the same.
"Oh, you've seen his dick?" you ask, a bit sarcastically. They did play sports in high school; it's possible a penis popped out in the changing rooms.
"Duh." Makki puffs his chest, "We've had a threeway."
That's news. A sticky, dark feeling clings to your chest. It's wrong of you to want either of them, and yet you want both-- the idea that someone else beat you to it makes your stomach flip.
“It was a good one too.” Mattsun says. He doesn't even bawk, clearly more concerned with the game than this.
“Aww, it’s always good with you, babe.” Makki blows a kiss, with a flourish of his wrist, "That hand job? Phenomenal."
Your character dies in a blaze of color and lights, it's sad little noise soon drowned out by victory music. Mattsun tosses his controller to the side, pumping his fist in a rather calm victory. You quickly exit out of the game and let the opening screen loop, your mood soured.
"You guys are just fucking with me,” you grumble.
“Like I’d ever joke about sex.” Makki sends you a wink and you hate that it makes your cheeks a little hot.
“It’s the only thing he takes seriously," Mattsun agrees. They both elbow each other conspiratorially, sharing a laugh that might be at your expense. Mattsun’s dark eyes flicker to you and his wolfish smile grows toothier as he draws his gaze down, raking over every inch of your body. Oh, they are definitely lying. Your jealousy immediately drains from your body.
“Are you -?”
You interrupt Mattsun before he can even finish.
“Prove it then."
Both men turn in unison, Makki’s eyes wide and Mattsun’s narrowed.
“Prove you’re had a threesome,” you clarify with a shrug. Your voice is dripping with victory and you can barely keep the grin from your face.
“How can we prove that?” Mattsun laughs, “I didn’t take pictures.”
You pretend to think about it for a moment. “Kiss each other.”
“What?” It's Makki's turn to laugh.
“Kiss each other,” you repeat, making a jerk off motion in the air, “You guys rubbed cocks, but you won’t kiss? Really?”
They share a quick glance, communicating silently between themselves with fleeting expressions and pointing chins. Mattsun suddenly scoffs, turning back to you with a raised brow. Neither of them say anything and you know you’re won.
“‘I’m going to start an OnlyFans,’” you taunt, “‘I have a huge cock.’ ‘I’ve had so many threesomes.’ You’re such bad liars.”
Makki moves first. He presses forward on to his hands, gripping his friend’s thigh as he leans in head first. He lingers in the lack of space he's created, nose brushing up against his friends. They share a couple of unheard words before Mattsun closes the gap between them with a lazy tilt of his head, lips just barely touching the others in the faintest of kisses. Before you can claim that a kiss that chaste doesn’t count, Makki moves again, swinging a leg over to straddle Mattsun in a practiced move. You gasp out loud as they meet again, mouths parted and tongue sliding against each other.
Then, it’s a tangle. Mattsun’s fingers are woven into strawberry blonde hair, dragging him closer to catch Makki’s lip in between his teeth. He seems to enjoy the pain; Makki’s hums of approval rumble so deep you can feel it resonate in your chest, filling the space between your ribs with a burning desire. Hands wander, gripping shirts and hips and the back of each other's necks, barely giving them space to pull in a breath. It’s pornographic, the way they grind into each other, rutting like dogs. If it's an act- it’s a good one. Through the thick fabric of his jeans, you swear you can see the outline of Makki’s cock against his thigh, waiting for attention.
You want attention too-- you're dripping for it. You push back into the arm of the couch and clamp your legs together, hoping to smother the want that's built there. Part of you wonders if they’d ever notice if your hand slipped down the front of your pants; they’re so lost in the moment that you think they’ve forgotten you exist.
Just as you debate it, hand on the buckle of your belt, Makki’s head snaps your way knowingly. The dark haired man doesn't stop though; Mattsun's lips immediately latch onto the base of his neck, sucking a hickey on to freckled skin.
“C’mere.” There’s a pitch to Makki's voice as teeth sink in right before his Adam's apple. "C'mere."
There’s no time to hesitate. Makki’s hand clamps around your ankle and tugs, sliding you closer and trapping your legs between the men’s bodies. You barely manage to remain sitting up and you almost immediately regret not falling over. Makki is too close, watching you with a hazed over expression that makes your stomach twist tight.
Somehow, Mattsun is unphased, eyes so heavily lidded that you can barely make out how they flicker to you. At least, you think he’s unaffected, until one of his fingers catches under one of your belt loops. They pull you closer together, folding you until you're angled awkwardly beside them, legs still trapped.
"I-" you start, a pant to your voice. Sometimes you forget how tall they both are, but right now you are very aware; they both tower over you, a hunger in their eyes you barely recognize. "You guys-"
"Dude," Makki's breath tickles against your cheek, "Shut up."
"Yeah." Mattsun agrees into the soft of your neck, sarcastic as always, "Read the room."
The chaos of both of them slowly envelops you. Makki's lips meet yours as Mattsun's teeth nip and all you can do is gasp as every nerve in your body flares. It's overwhelming to be the center of both of their desires, being tugged and pulled back and forth, someone's hands digging into the soft of your stomach, someone else unbuttoning your pants.
When you break away to breathe, Mattsun is there, catching you right where Makki left off. He kisses differently- lazier, slower. His counterpart kissed you so roughly your lips burn where his teeth once were; Mattsun approaches with a feather touch, barely enough to satiate your need for him.
Hands snake across your back and around to your tits, greedily cupping them through your shirt. Somehow, you've migrated, now straddling Mattsun's lap with Makki at your back. Your bra gaps and gives and Makki grumbles in annoyance.
“Issei,” You’ve never heard Makki use his first name before, “Unhook her bra.”
Mattsun finishes the kiss, lingering, savoring, watching with his deep, dreamy eyes.
“Do it yourself.” His voice is practically a sigh. You want to melt into him, sinking into him to slot your mouths together.
"You know, last week Issei over here told me how bad he wants to suck your tits," Makki whispers into the shell of your ear. A warm touch slips under your shirt and your bra suddenly feels loose. You lean back enough to give the blonde enough space to go back to kneading your breasts and this time his long fingers roll your nipple between them, "He's been hard for you for a while now.'
A twitch has started in your legs, trembling tight as the hot feeling inside you screws tighter and tighter. The way your jeans sit gives you nothing to grind against, not even the rock hard cock that's pressed into your thigh. It's thick -- much thicker than you expected.
"I wanna suck them too, obviously," Makki continues, "I wanna put my mouth everywhere."
He pecks your earlobe. "Wanna suck your clit while you struggle to take Issei's cock."
Mattsun hums in approval as he grabs your hips, tugging your hips impossibly closer, "If she can even take it."
That turns your core molten. They want you-- they want you the way you want them. You wish they'd keep talking and blab about all of their dirty whims and wants-
"Yeah," you breathe, "Yeah, I can take it."
Mattsun slips his hand from your legs and ghosts them up to your waistband. The open button of your jeans makes it easy for him to slide in, dipping down under your panties. His fingers are wide, brushing against the cleft of your pussy delicately.
"She isn't shaved." He talks like you aren't there, looking over your shoulder to his friend.
"Oh, I like that," Makki chirps. The ministrations haven't stopped; he's still rolling and squeezing and pinching, watching for what makes you wiggle and gasp. He finds a good motion just as the heel of Mattsun's palm grinds against your clit. Those massive fingers waste no time, forcing their way inside you. The suddenness stretches you tender.
All three sensations combine and suddenly your brain is fuzzy-- your eyes can even stay focused. It's too much, it's not enough; you squirm and you can't tell if you're trying to get away or get more.
"Oh shit," Mattsun chuckles, scissoring his fingers side to side. This time you yelp-- mostly out of surprise -- and that spurs him on further. "There's no way you're fitting me. Fuck, I don't know if you'd fit Hiro."
"You're making me sound shrimpy."
"Shrimpier than me."
"I'm not shrimpy! Dude's like, inches longer than the national average. I've checked."
"You named your cock Dude?"
"Oi, it's a good-"
You cut in, voice flat. You love them both, but the quips just aren't that sexy when you're those horny, "Please stop doing-- that--" Oh, your voice is broken/, "You're killing my orgasm."
"Oh shit, you gonna cum?" Mattsun realizes, grinding back down again. That sparks something in you again, but not quite as bright, but your body cramps at the thought of not chasing it. "You that sensitive?"
"Love an easy girl," Makki chirps.
"I was going to-" You shook a glance between them, both sheepish and grinning- "until you guys opened your mouths."
"Aw, does that mean the threesome is off?" Makki says that as he's lifting your shirt up. You help, letting him strip your top bare.
"No," you admit in a low voice, "I wanna keep going.”
They exchange a look and you swear they are mentally high fiving each other. You wriggle off your pants and they both sudden spring into action, afraid of this moment passing by.
"You should ask Hiro to fuck you first." Mattsun pulls his own shirt off, "Let him stretch you out nice and good for me."
"Nah, fuck Issei first," Makki is quick to say, "I like sloppy seconds."
You don't have to think about it.
"Mattsun."
You're too greedy to wait.
Mattsun dips his thumbs under your panties and gently lowers them as he dips his face into the crook of your neck. There’s a surprising amount of stubble on his face- more than you’ve ever noticed before- tickling the softest softs of you. “These are really cute by the way.”
You clearly weren’t expecting to get dick today; you’re in your full coverage, full butt panties, the ones that hang out in the back of your drawer and digs a bit too much into your hips. “Really?”
He tries to bite back his smile, tongue poked deep in his cheek as he helps you off of the couch and onto the floor. You can’t help but wonder the last time these guys vacuumed as you watch the brunette lay down, urging you on to this lap with gentle hands. You end up on his thighs, just low enough that the lump in his pants is right above you.
"Yeah. They’re like, I dunno, homey. Comfortable. " He runs his hand up your sides. The other man doesn’t join; Makki just scooches the coffee table over with his foot to clear a space for him to watch. His palm is pressing into the noticeable swell on his pants as he watches, eyes flickering between the two of you. Suddenly, your least favorite pair of underwear is your favorite. You can't help but preen and pose, arching your back and cupping a tit coyishly.
"You just gonna sit there and watch?" you tease, even though your heart is racing, “It’s not really a three way without you.”
"Hey, this is free OnlyFans content! I’m gonna enjoy it!” He jerks his chin towards his friend, "Plus, I wanna see your reaction.”
Your eyes roll themselves at that. You turn back to Mattsun, waiting for him to laugh or tease, but he just watches you back, an overly cocky smile smeared across his lips.
“Are we really going to pretend your cock is that big?” You let your fingers trail down his bare chest and hope he can’t feel like them tremble. God, you can see it kick through the denim. It’s getting harder and harder to tease him now that they both know you want this.
“You’re so right,” Mattsun’s voice drips with sarcasm, “I’m tiny.”
He finally pops the top to his jeans and snakes them down. The light blue pattern of his briefs does nothing to conceal the growing sticky stain that's formed on the front. Most of his length is still hidden under the denim, but the bit you can see is….
Fuck, that that cannot be a cock. Maybe a fucking TV remote.
“So fucking small, huh?” You realize you’re making a face when he starts laughing.
“What a shame,” he continues as he frees the rest, “Hot guy with a micro-- you should pity fuck me or something.”
It’s pretty. That’s the fucked up part about it. The head is a soft pink, glazed wet with precum, fading into a surprising tan color. It’s thicker than your wrist, with a single vein down the underside and would be perfect to drag your tongue across. Mattsun gives himself a single, slow pump, pulling a perfect droplet of clear liquid from his slit. With the other hand, he takes your wrist and pulls your touch to his, letting you grip his length. Your thumb and middle finger barely connect.
“Hey, Issei?”
“Yeah?”
Your fingers pulse, testing the firmness. There’s some give-- he’s not even fully hard.
“You were right, this is a pornstar cock.”
Mattsun rolls his eyes and gives you another toothy grin. His legs spread wider, therefore spreading yours too- so far that your labia slips free from the short fabric of your panties. The damp skin feels cold against the air, but the heat of anticipation is making you sweat.
“I told you.” Makki chimes in. You hadn’t realized that he had moved until his voice was rumbling against the fat of your ass. He’s the one who’s spread Mattsun’s legs, crawling in between them on hands and knees to press kisses against your back. “You gonna take it?”
You’re not sure you can. It’s a comical amount of dick, but your pride won’t let you back out. “I’ve taken bigger.”
“Oh yeah?” Your underwear digs further into your skin as Makki tugs it to the side and completely frees your cunt. “‘cause it looks pretty small back here.”
With a squelch, two fingers slip easily into you, reaching and curling deep. A moan hits you like a punch, crumpling you at the waist. Hands on Mattsun’s shoulders, you just brace yourself as Makki eases out and pushes back in, this time a bit slower.
“Are you sure you aren’t a virgin?” He wriggles for effect and your body clenches around him in response.
��Oi, lemme feel.” Mattsun’s hand pushes through the petals of you. Just as you think Makki’s going to pull away to give Mattsun space, the stretch grows more intense; two sets of hands are crammed into you, knuckles brushing against each other, and it makes your vision starred.
“Oh-” Your voice hollows out on you, “My god--”
It’s all you can do to take it, letting them squelch and move and prod asynchronistically. It’s clumsy and strange and honestly a bit weird, but your body seems to disagree; excitement is literally dripping from you, running down your thighs and smearing across their hands, popping and slicking and practically leaking. They’re treating you like a toy, you realize, exploring instead of trying to please you.
Someone's talking. Your brain tries to fight through the fog of pleasure to figure out what's being said, but the pulses and twitches of pleasure running through every muscle in your body are simply louder. Everything inside you is teetering towards the brink in a way you're never felt before. It's not like any other pleasure you've ever felt-- it's internal, it's uncomfortable, it's----
And everything lets go. You're cumming, you think. You realized your eyes have been closed this whole time, too absorbed in what's happening inside you.
"Ohmygodohmygod." It's been your voice this whole time. When you finally come down, you realize the two have gone still, just watching you.
"Damn." Makki whistles low."Do you always squirt?"
Oh, you burn with embarrassment. You tey to close your legs but there's two men in between them. "I've never done that before."
"That's so hot."
“Fuck,” Mattsun is trying to angle your hips with one hand and adjust his cock with the other, angling for your hole, “I’m gonna cum so quick, it’s gonna be embarrassing.”
Trepidation turns your stomach. You're wet all the way down your thighs, but Mattsun is a monster-- it's going to ache no matter what.
"Go slow, okay?"
"Aw, you'll take what I give you." Mattsun rolls his eyes with a smile, running his cock head through your folds. His cock slips and misses a couple times, prodding where it shouldn't be.
"You're embarrassing me," Makki whines, "Let me fucking do it."
Two fingers spread your pussy lips open wide. You can't see, but the strawberry blonde must be holding his friend's cock now because it immediately finds where it wants to be; the head catches against your opening and sinks in ever so slightly. You have to will yourself to relax and not fight the intrusion-- even though the stretch is wild//.
"Hey," Makki taps your thigh and you realize you're shaking. The pleasure and the discomfort are different sides to the same coin- both make your toes curl and your breath hitch as Mattsun sinks deeper and deeper.
"You have a pornstar pussy, baby." A finger runs over where your body meets cock and you can feel how taut you're stretched. Your body pulses at that realization and it rips a groan from the man under you. "It's so sexy to see you get ruined like that."
"Oh, it feels so fucking good too," Mattsun gasps. He looks so good like this, with pink cheeks and sweat touched hair. His pretty lips are pressed together with effort, trying to hold himself steady and he carefully gives you more and more.
Fuck, you swear you can feel him in your guts and he's not even halfway in. Your toes are curling from the pressure alone, but you refuse to make any noise about it; you’re not going to stroke his ego anymore. You can handle him putting it in-
"I'm gonna eat your ass-- is that cool?"
Makki doesn't wait for a reply. The sloppy wet prod of his tongue against your skin is the breaking point. It feels strange and wrong in the most delightful ways and your body absolutely betrays you again; your head is absolutely swimming as you bump and grind into both men, taking more cock than you can handle as Makki defiles you-
“Yeah, squeeze tight,” Mattsun is jerking his hips up, driving into you with short strokes, “Holy shit, girl, you’re gonna make me look fucking stupid-- squeeze, that’s it--”
“I'm going to fuck you the second Issei is done with you, I swear to god--”
That sounds good to you. That sounds very good. You hum a little agreement, and Makki just laughs.
Hands are pressing down on your hips and you swat at the brunette in panic-- only to realize it’s not his hands that are rushing you. Makki, as he sucks and slobbers, is urging you down faster and faster, trying to get your hips against his friend’s. You try and obey, letting him greedily force you down, but a sharp twist of a cramp slowly starts to twist inside you.
“Hiro--” Mattsun sucks air through his teeth, eyes screwed tight, “Hiro, youch, she’s full. I’m touching her cervix.”
Your hips feel like they are miles away from Issei’s. Holy shit. Holy shit. It should be illegal to be that long. It hurts, it makes your insides twist--
But, damn, you kind of like it.
You press up on to your knees and sink down again, locking into the gentlest of rhythms. The aching slow movement is enough to make your body spark, electricity thrumming through your core and up your spine. The man under you can only watch, those puppy dog eyes wider and wetter with every stroke. Eventually he starts moving with you, bucking up into your cunt hesitantly.
The two loudest, most annoying men in your life are now silent, too focused on you to do anything else. All three of you just sort of click into a groove, grinding and bucking and loving and squeezing, your body coiling tighter and tighter, every muscle twitching and tense with need-
Somehow, you don’t cum first. Mattsun’s hands are suddenly everywhere, gripping your ass and rolling your nipple under his thumb. He fucks up into you hard and that sharp cramp returns, followed by a familiar pooling, wet warmth right against your deepest parts. You can feel the throb of his cock as he unloads, giving you every fucking drop he can. Issei’s lips are parts with effort, teeth marks imprinted on his lower vermillion. There’s almost a haze to his eyes, caught in his pleasure and still looking for you.
“Oh, shit-” he hisses mindlessly, “Oh, fuck, shit--”
It’s dripping from you and down Makki’s chin.
“You on birth control?” Issei asks weakly, all tension drained from his body.
“It’s a bit late to ask that,” Makki chimes in. The thinner man pushes you forward, shifting your weight onto your hands. Like this, Issei’s softening cock can’t stay in- it slides out with a dribble. Mattsun is now so much closer now, his face nearly nuzzling yours. Your eyes meet his, dark and tired, and you’re struck by the urge to kiss him properly.
You’re then struck by the sudden sensation of being stuffed.
Despite their teasing earlier, Hanamaki is //not// small. He's not inhumanely big like Mattsun, but you're aware of every inch, pressing almost as deep as before. The squelch of cum being displaced from you is loud and disgusting, but all three of you reveal in the sound.
“God, I love a fresh fucked pussy,” he coos. “You’re gaping and messy, baby.”
Where Mattsun moved slow, Makki does not. He's rutting into you hard, pushing you into Mattsun's chest. The man below you kisses your cheek with a laugh, clearly enjoying the faces you're making. You're wet down to your knees, smeared with a mixture of bodily fluids, and it offers no resistance for Makki as he enjoys himself.
It's like you're a toy, being used just for him pleasure, and you're body can't get enough.
“You gonna cum?” Mattsun asks mockingly. He just enjoy the sight, watching your tits hang against his chest. You almost say no, even though you're dangerously close to the edge again. “Ah, don't rush yourself. Hiro can last all night if you need it.”
“Hm, I'm just trying to give you some time to recover before round two,” Oh, you hate that he doesn't even sound phased, “I'm pacing myself.”
“Oh yeah?” Mattsun says.
Makki thrusts even harder, accenting his words. “How else are we supposed to go all night?
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Eclipse (ShadowPeach Smut)
For a popular ship, there is a lot of potential with how powerful both of these monkeys are that I haven't seen explored much. I hope you enjoy!
Smut below
Every day and night, the sky would be met by the enticing light of the moon and the sun. Glowing in their powerful aura, they danced together as they watched over their domain. Yet, every few years or so, they would grow lonely, craving more than the occasional dance steps that they would greet by.
During these moments, gentle touches and whispers would greet them, love shining through the penumbra of their embrace.
Macaque was a vicious fighter, agile and cruel. He knew how to throw dirty blows and tricks that would make his opponents stumble. His counterpart, Wukong however, was smart, cheeky, able to have his opponents drive themselves mad in order to land a hit on the sage. Wukong used emotions and his own words to strike while Macaque bared his claws and lashed out with precision. Together, they were unstoppable; against the other, they were at a stalemate.
Macaque panted as him and Wukong sparred, his strength fleeting. Wukong seemed tired too, his fur drenched in sweat. It didn't help that it was a particularly humid summer day, but that wouldn't deter either of the warriors, weather was only an inconvenience never a game-changer. Wukong's staff stood firmly in his grasp, the stone monkey's tail lashing in his excitement.
"What's wrong, Macaque?" The prideful monkey grinned. "Giving up, already?"
Macaque grinned, shaking his head as he charged at Wukong, shadows changing the land before the two as Wukong fell, Macaque's cudgel blocking the king from rising up.
"Nah, I'm just getting started." The shadow demon smirked, looking down at Wukong's fallen form with satisfaction. "It seems I've won though, huh? Do you concede, Wukong? You don't have much of a choice anyways?"
The air was still, Wukong's eyes strong, yielding no signs of surrender. Wukong chuckled lowly, his feet kicking up to off-balance Macaque, the darker monkey quickly retreating as Wukong stood to his feet.
"How about we actually get started then, Macaque. This warm-ups been fun and all, but I want to see your true power."
Macaque grinned toothily, a near snarl as he stood straight, his posture braced for the quick movements Wukong seemed to be itching to fight back. The heat of the sun couldn't match the intense glare of the two monkeys, both eager to win over the other.
It was Sandy's idea, interestingly enough, to have them spar as a form of bonding. While neither was opposed, the two definitely have gotten into quarrels through the mountain as they fought, calls of cheating or foul play. Eventually, they decided that a fair fight is one where the only limit is serious harm to the opponent or the land around them.
Thus, the two exchanged blow after blow, rounds of fighting that seemed to barely drain the other. The sun had lowered further, and Wukong’s clones had thoroughly pinned Macaque to the ground, hot breaths tickling the shadow demon as Macaque panted, nearly heaving to catch his breath.
Macaque groaned against the clones, trying to move his body against the clones. Wukong stepped over to Macaque, a pleased smirk as his hand trailed along Macaque’s face, lifting the angered celestial monkey’s chin to meet his eyes.
“You could give up now, peaches, or we could be here all night? How about it?”
Macaque spat on the ground, sharp teeth bared at Wukong as he growled with piercing eyes towards the sage. “Do your worst, Great Sage, I’m never conceding.”
Wukong lifted an eyebrow, face leaning closer to Macaque’s. “Colors?”
“Red for stop, Yellow for pause, Green to keep going.” Macaque rolled his eyes, his expression softening briefly at Wukong.
Wukong tapped on Macaque’s cheek, smirk returning to him. “Good boy.”
“What’s this all about, Wukong?” Macaque quickly returned to character, weakly struggling against the clones that looked at the monkey underneath them with hungry eyes.
One of Wukong’s clones brushed against Macaque’s tail, trailing the sensitive nerves that connected to it. Macaque shivered underneath its touch, his expression never wavering.
“You’ll lose one way or another, Six-Eared Macaque.” Wukong nearly spat, another clone lifting Macaque slightly, hands groping at Macaque’s chest. “Until I hear those words, I’ll just keep toying with you.”
Macaque glared hardening, a blushing forming on his face as the hands fondled his chest, lightly pinching at his clothed nipples. Macaque sighed, hiding his moans from Wukong’s piercing expression.
“I–I’m not falling to your tricks, Great Sage.”
Wukong smirked, “Have it your way. All you need to do is beg, and I’ll be right here to fill all those needs of yours.”
Macaque whimpered lightly as the hands stroked his stomach, sliding through his clothes and peeling them off slowly. One of the clones had marked Macaque’s neck with deep bite marks, pulsating and radiating with pleasure and pain. Macaque gasped, feeling his outer shift being stripped away and mouths latching onto his chest like hungry cubs.
Wukong’s voice whispered to Macaque, deep and rumbling in Macaque’s sensitive ears.
“Look at you, writhing and squirming against my clones…Color?”
“Green,” Macaque moaned, his body slowly going limp as the various touches along his body overwhelmed him. They pressed hot against his fur, kissing and suckling that trailing through body while Macaque weakly struggled against the arms that held him in place.
One clone was brave enough to go lower, tongue trailing along Macaque’s stomach, pressing kisses and light nips against his hips while avoiding the growing hunger that built in Macaque’s pants. Yet, Wukong merely watched as clones continued to overwhelm the celestial monkey, eyes hungry, nearly devouring the sight of Macaque weak against the sensational torment of Wukong’s clones.
“Mng,” Macaque groaned, mouth covered by a clone fiercely smashing his lips into Macaque’s, moans muffled as drool trailed down Macaque’s face.
“Just one word, Macaque, and I’m all yours.”
Wukong’s voice teased him again, and Macaque pulled away from the clone, glaring at Wukong.
“Fuck. You.”
Wukong huffed, an amused grin on his face. Wukong sat back, pulling out a half-erect cock in front of Macaque’s face. “Have it your way.”
With a simple gesture, the sage’s clones continued further, more aggressively as blood dripped down the various bite marks that littered Macaque’s body. Hands reached down to paw at Macaque’s erection, pants sliding off painfully slow as Macaque’s breath hitched at the cool dusk air hitting his pussy.
“What’re you–” Macaque yelped, feeling a hand lightly stroke against Macaque’s now wet cunt, throbbing and twitching for more sensation as rough skin and light touches sent shivers down Macaque’s spine.
Whispers of the clones filled Macaque’s ears, sour words and bitter chuckles that had Macaque twitching and groaning as he mewed weakly against the single hand that stroked him, teased him with the way it never pressed hard enough nor moved fast enough.
“So weak, like putty in our hands.”
“Getting off to clones? How laughable.”
“Does our touch replicate his so well? Enough for you to start moaning like a whore to a wealthy man?”
Macaque stuttered, breathing heavily against the warm bodies that enveloped him. “I–I’m not–”
“Sure you are,” Wukong’s voice growled in his ear, closer than Macaque had thought. “Just lose yourself, concede and I’ll give everything to you.”
Macaque moaned, eyes shut in the painful ecstasy that flowed through his body.
“Wukong,” Macaque’s voice shook heavily, his breaths ragged as Wukong’s face betrayed no emotion. “Wukong–I–”
“Tell me, Macaque.” Wukong’s voice slid easily through Macaque’s ears, silky and light. “What do you want?”
“I need you.” Macaque answered honestly, his tone begging as Macaque shivered once more, feeling himself getting close despite his craving for more touch–deeper, deeper, Macaque just needed them to go deeper. “I need you to–to breed me. Inside of me–I need you inside of me.”
Wukong’s chuckle sent waves of anticipation through Macaque’s body as footsteps and shuffling sounded around him. A new body pressed against Macaque, breath tickling him as Wukong’s tongue licks the shell of Macaque’s ear, nipping it lightly.
“As you wish,” Wukong’s smirk never left his voice, his member pressing up against Macaque’s pussy. “Color?”
“Wukong, for fuck’s sake–” Macaque yelled, turning back to Wukong while pressing his ass closer to the stone monkey. “Green, just fuck me already!”
Without a second thought, Wukong’s cock entered Macaque, Macaque groaning at the sudden entry, tightening against the member. Wukong didn’t stop for a second, hips thrusting aggressively against Macaque, grinding against him as the clones began to disappear one by one, leaving final bite marks against the panting monkey.
“Fuck–Gah,” Macaque moaned, arms now bracing against the ground as Wukong’s fangs latched onto Macaque’s shoulders. “Mng–Wukong–”
Wukong growled, possessive and controlling. Macaque’s moans grew louder, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as Wukong’s cock buried deep into Macaque’s cunt.
A building warmth filled Macaque’s core as Wukong continued to senselessly pound into Macaque, claws scratching at the darker monkey’s fur as Wukong’s growls and chuffs continued to fill Macaque’s ears. Macaque’s arms were weak, being held up by Wukong as Macaque’s body was practically limp against Wukong.
“Macaque–” Wukong’s voice rasped against Macaque. “I’m–ghh–close.”
Macaque whimpered, feeling the rough pads of Wukong’s fingers rubbing against his clit. “Hnng, Wukong–Fuck–Inside, fill me up–I need your pups in me, Wukong–”
Macaque felt something snap inside of him, hot streams of cum pouring into his burning, raw pussy as his groans were nearly in sync with Wukong’s. Macaque felt Wukong pulsating in him, going flacid as he slowly drew out his dick, spreading Macaque’s cheeks to admire his work. Macaque’s legs gave out, shaking and weak as he slumped against the ground.
“You’ve lost.” Wukong’s voice was hoarse, rough against the darker sky that slowly became night.
Macaque growled, his teeth biting against his lip dangerous as Macaque’s tail thud against the ground. With a weak, quivering voice, Macaque spoke. “Fine, you win, Great Sage. I concede.” Wukong hummed, satisfied and proud of his win. Lifting himself off of Macaque, Wukong helped him up, carrying the exhausted shadow demon back to his hut while brushing off any remaining dust from the both of them.
“How many wins is that for you again? Like 8?” Macaque asked, fixing his scuffed clothes with shadows that tiredly mended his clothing.
Wukong shrugged, walking into his hut as he took out some fruits for him and Macaque to share. “I’m pretty sure we’re almost even though. Last time, you took me out pretty quickly.”
“That’s because you got distracted by one of your subjects borderline harassing me,” Macaque chuckled, laying down still sore from the thorough beating his body had taken. Wukong’s only response was an amused chuckle, sitting by Macaque as Wukong cuddled into him, a slight apology for being rougher than he wanted to be.
#lmk shadowpeach#lego monkie kid shadowpeach#lego monkie kid macaque#six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#sun wukong x macaque#lego monkie kid sun wukong#sun wukong#writing tag
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personal customization
(originally written 8/24/24 on cohost)
i realize i dont feel like i outwardly personalize the things i own unless they’re gifts from others and i just arrange them.
i live according to my absolute bare needs to an insane degree because i get so involved in my work and in my head sorting abstract bookshelves.
i’ve had my laptop for 4 years and it still never occurred to me to change the wallpaper or customize anything. i just have other things in mind when i boot it up. i keep the same discord icon for months at a time, often over a year.
earlier my mom bought me binders that my looseleaf anatomy & physiology textbook could fit into and wrote my name on them, because it didnt even occur to me to do that. she said, “wow you never personalize your stuff! i have to personalize everything i have! even in college in your dorm room you were living out of your cardboard boxes.” (this is true. one band poster on the wall, one mood lamp, unpacked my clothes into the drawers, laptop on my desk, the small flat-screen tv from my room at home, nintendo switch i barely used there anyway, and that’s it. everything else was out of the cardboard boxes.)
“you’re like jon who was able to live with a lamp, a single mattress on his floor, and his chemistry research.”
i really could be as long as my physiological needs are met (im sensitive to temperature and humidity so i would need the modern convenience of need air conditioning) i really don't need much.
i just dont think to buy things for myself. i rarely ask for anything either because i don’t think to ask, unless it’s something necessary. i’m extremely low maintenance. literally ive been living off of people’s kindness. i don’t know how to repay it physically but through spending quality time with them. analyzing and explaining to them what it means to me, sage advice, and giving myself to them to solve technical issues, chores, etc..
i greatly admire people who are able to transform a space into something that oozes character and color and feels cozy, personalized, just because. i also find i do also end up doing this... but it's entirely by accident. it turns into a collection of objects i accumulate or am passively drawn to, such as in my own room where i have a black light and a UV-sensitive duvet cover that i thought was interesting and i like having in my space. but i'm not one for really adding or changing the things in my space. it stays pretty inert unless someone gives me a thing, but even then it depends on if i want to keep it and where i would keep it.
does this mean i have no aesthetic preferences? certainly not. i'm a sucker for art and art that conveys a certain inexplicable expression to me. it's extremely important to me. i like looking at it, but it's something i collect and appreciate rather than something i show off i guess. i'd say i do have a distinctive taste, despite my blindness to outward personalization. two tags on my sideblog where i collect things i like (they sometimes overlap):
#aes
#art insp
i have a sleeve of stickers but i don't know where to stick them. i have things that i very much enjoy but for some reason i don't decorate the things i own with them unless the urge is overwhelming. because i think, what if this thing i stick it to gets old? what if something else comes along that i wish i had stuck it to instead? then i'll have to throw the stickers out too. and i'll feel like it was a waste. so i just feel paralyzed, i don't do anything, and it's easier not to think about it and instead focus on other things. or leave it to somebody else, but under my guidance.
i'm the kinda person who will squeeze every last drop out of something before throwing it out. i've been using the same black strapbag since middle school and i just graduated college with a 4-year degree this year. even when it comes to toothbrushes my mom is the one who realizes they need to be changed before i do, because like, they're still workable to me. i'm the complete and total opposite of the fast fashion mindset. i habitually live by the hand-me-down creed. all that matters is comfort, convenience, and lasts a long time. style and appearance is secondary. and i only really worry about it if i have to impress someone or make a good impression, but it's not what i naturally gravitate towards personally as an individual.
i really just don't need much but i profoundly appreciate people who gift me things especially if i will get a lot of use out of them. gift giving isn't how i express my gratitude in return, though, because i'm never fully confident in my gifts unless they're exactly what someone asked for (and they know it), but i think i make up for it in other ways. i will give something i own that's meaningful to me to someone if i happen to like them enough.
i feel bad getting gifts that i know i won't get a lot of use out of because i feel like i let the person down, or they wasted their money despite me understanding it as a heartfelt gift. but i sort of equate the heartfeltness of the gift with how much use potential it has for me, how much i'll be able to get out of it. i feel like i'm cheating them out of something if i can't. they spent their resources for me, and it would be a waste if i couldn't put it to use or appreciate having it for a long time. and if someone does that for me i want to get the most out of it, but i can't get the most out of everything. and it makes me feel bad on their behalf, like i'd want to regift it so they can get their money back if i can't get their money's worth out of it, but i also want them to know i appreciate that they thought of me enough to get me something. but i know people don't take well to that or would find it offensive, even though i don't mean it like that.
my own state of existence is kind of monotonous if i dont have people giving me new impressions. i don’t think about material things except in the sense of how they “have” to be. i just habitually do the bare minimum to be functional without even realizing i can get things that i want to. my own desires aren’t as strong as me weighing pros/cons about how i spend my time and if it’s worth investing my Whole Being into doing something. i end up being on extreme or the other: putting my whole being in or none at all. there’s no half-assing anything with me. im literally incapable of doing it. (executive dysfunction DOES NOT HELP EITHER)
despite all this someone online who doesn't know me all that well (just an acquaintance) described me as having elegant vibes. when people think of elegant i assume they think of physical elegance, but i think mental elegance is a better way of describing me. i know that i love the aesthetic principle of elegance a lot: unusual effectiveness + simplicity. and if that's the basic definition that underlies elegance in artful expression (e.g. visual design) and logical systems (e.g. mathematics), then i would consider myself elegant. i always tend to look for the broadest but most precise encapsulation of a thing, and that in itself carries elegance with it. ...... but i also like a bit of a unique tacky spin thrown in too. in fact, elegance is the reason i started posting on cohost. it's the elegant blogging platform i couldve asked for. fresh start, small space. easy markdown and html options if necessary. starting with visually customizing my page is overwhelming and it always ends up second to its primary functional purpose, which is to transmit the input of words from my keyboard to your computer screen. that is primarily my vehicle of expression of self. it doesn’t mean i don’t admire people’s customization. in fact it’s one of the things i most admire and wish i had for myself. i just get so overwhelmed i don’t even know where to begin, but it’s also secondary to my thoughts and what i have to communicate.
(tumblr edit: well shit lol byebye cohost)
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Imagine the brothers with and mc who's comfortable sitting in the most random positions ever. Like sitting upside down on the couch, curled up really tightly on a chair- do you vision what I'm visioning?? Yeah anyways I feel like demons aren't as flexible has humans and so they'd just be really freaking confused like how??
I thought of this really randomly so yk hopenhave fun with it!! <3
- Sky
i've always had this headcanon after seeing a fic about it ! where the demons and angels aren't as flexible as humans
time to traumatize some demons
the brothers when mc sits in a bone-cracking (for them) position
heads up: gn!mc
lucifer
the both of you were hanging out in his study whilst he works
he excuses himself to get a glass of water
leaves you sitting upside down on one of the sofas, your legs up and your head dangling over at the edge, but he didn't think much of it at first
he comes back to see you bending over the sofa's backrest, your upper body behind it and your lower body facing him
he pales
slightly maybe
he places down the glass on the coffee table, and walked around the sofa, and you tilt your head up at him
"oh, hey lucifer"
mc?????????
you didn't look like you were in any pain, but still
he left you alone and just sat and worked again on his desk, sparing you a glance every now and then
you were trying out more positions that he's trying so hard to fight a grimace
he swears he feels a phantom ache somewhere on his back
mammon
the both of you were in his room (he dragged you there as soon as you got changed when you got home from rad)
you were laying on his couch, him sitting there too, and your legs over his lap
both of you were on your phones
the more focused on your phone you were, your legs somehow get raised into the air
he doesn't even notice it either
it was then ten minutes later he realizes the weight on his lap was gone, so he turns to his right to see you still there
but your legs bent all the way to your head
he jaw drops
he pulls at your legs, pulling them down back on his lap
"what the hell do you think you were doin', huh?!"
you don't even know
you just stare at each other
leviathan
listen, i know, we're going to be expecting you and levi to be playing games, don't come at me
anyway
you were sitting on the floor with him in front of his monitor, playing god knows what (you didn't understand him because he said the name too quickly)
you were sitting in indian seat, which didn't set any alarms in his head at first, since he's sitting like that too
but then you did this pose to get a good look at the monitor
i legit don't know how to describe it, so google came in clutch
levi looked at you with a grimace and worry
"mc... is that comfortable? or..."
you sit up straight and put your attention to him
"is what comfortable?"
he never got to answer because his character died
satan
he invited you to his room to show you books he recently bought
you were interested in one of the genres, and he pointed out a stack somewhere with the same ones
you went over and looked over the titles and found the one at the bottom sounding interesting
you did a split to slide to the bottom to get it
satan GAPED
and when you stood up just as casually he stared at you with his jaw still open
"uhm. there's a fly going inside your mouth"
"oh"
asmodeus
he read something about yoga in an article from the human world
so he's been curious about it so he asked you to show him what it is
he asked for something that doesn't need standing too much, and you coincidentally was already sitting on his bed
so you delivered
this pose
he gasped
"m- mc, dear! you're breaking your bones!"
"...but you were asking about yoga poses..."
"i will never ask again! sit up straight! sit properly! hurry! your beautiful legs!"
beelzebub
you both were exercising
but then you had to tie your shoe
he was about to offer to tie them for you, but then you sat down and bent all the way down to reach your shoes
he was horrified
"mc!!!!!"
he picks you up and straightens your body out
"mc! y- you could've broken your bones! are you okay????"
"i was just tying my shoe..."
yeah he'll be carrying you home on his shoulder
belphegor
you were sleeping in the attic
he had to go back to his room to get his favorite pillow
when he returns, he sees your body twisted around
his jaw drops 2.0
he approaches you, hovering his hands over your body, unsure of what to do
you didn't look like you were in any discomfort, but then again, you were asleep...
but then you moved on your own to sleep on your side, your body not horrifically twisted
he's still unsure
he just cuddles into you, subtly feeling for any broken bones and just sleeps on his worries
(he forgot humans were flexible)
I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS SO BUSY
i'm also sorry this is bland af......
#they dont know what to do#human are you okay <- them probably#omswd#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor
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So… I used to play Obey me a while back, but I finally decided to get back into it. You can thank Beel, I've always loved him. I decided that I'll open up my questions to any and all obey me related content but I also have a few ideas of my own I kinda want to write anyways. I don't remember the plot of the original game that well. I know I could just go back and go through the chapters again, but I want to experience the game properly again so am currently waiting for the damn account deletion to be done so I can replay (Finally get to do it on the 19th). In the meantime,I've decided to start playing Nightbringer, I'm currently on Lesson 12, I don't remember what level though. I'm enjoying myself, Beel has been my focus since day one but seeing Diavolo in his demon form constantly… damn… ANYWAY!
Because I don't know the story as well as I generally know the characters, I have to make significant changes to the MC in my writing as I don't know all the vague lore you get about them every now and then. However, I've decided just blanking them out is too boring. A few complaints I've seen about x reader/xMCs is that they tend to be written with little to no significant personality, which makes sense to project upon but can become bland. I try to give my MCs different personalities and decide that I'll just do the same thing here. But, like more. I have one or two draft ideas but I'm still caught between them. I know I want to have the MC be an established character rather than a husk, it makes sense to have them be so blank for a game but it can sometimes make it hard to relate to such a blank slate in writing. (For me at least). Out of the drafts I've decided to go with, my first idea, which is to keep the Human MC but not have them be from the human world in the game. I was originally considering making the MC be from the real world, but to further differentiate the game MC to the way I want to write them, they're going to be from a world that is a bit more magical. It won't be blatantly in your face in the way of being overpowered or as strong as Solomon, but the MC isn't a pushover and doesn't like being disrespected. I suppose I should introduce our MC before posting the little preview to gauge interest.
MEET MC:
Currently she is being represented by my persona, but there is 0 description of her appearance in the actual writing, well other than basic fem descriptors, tiddie and thicc thighs because I am a whore. Now you can kinda already see some vague lore with all the hands. As I mentioned before, this MC comes from a world with magic, including angels, demons and more. The five mentioned briefly in the drawing refers to some characters that help establish her backstory and why she is in the Devildom in the first place, they won't play key roles in the story itself, unless people are interested in who they are.
Obey me! x reader (slight Yandere/possessive behaviour)
Warnings: All writing on my page is either full Yandere or somewhat Yandere, with possessive tendencies. Many may include mentions of violence, swearing and sexual imagery. MDNI. Demons trying to stake their claim over you already.
Prologue kinda
The tip of my foot tapped against the tiles as I continued to whisk the frosting in the bowl, cradled in my arms. Swaying side to side to the tune I hummed under my breath, a soft tail curling around my ankle grounding me again. I look to my side with a smile, crouching down and running my free hand through the soft cats fur.
“Hiya Jiji, are you alright?” I cooed, my cat rolling onto her back.
I close my eyes in a smile as my fingers go to scratch between her ears, but instead brush against the cold floor. With a pout I open my eyes, only to stare at an unfamiliar floor. The air feels stagnant and keeps catching in my throat, randomly appearing somewhere else armed with only a whisk and a bowl of frosting would do that to someone though. At the sound of a loud “Ahem” I slowly rose from my hunched of position.
“Who are you?” A stern voice called from behind me, clearly not happy to have a visitor.
Biting my lip nervously I turned on my heels to face them only to be met with a hoard, oh wait group is the appropriate word. Scanning over their horns and defensive posture, they must be demons… but I had never seen any demons like them back home. Speaking of home, I don’t recognise this place at all from hell when I’d visit to do business. My eyes darted to the bracelet on my wrist, the charms dangling there and not responding as I pressed on them.
“Damn it…” I muttered under my breath.
“I’ll ask again, who are you?” The voice asked again far more forcefully.
I dropped my arm back to my sides as I looked up at the demons. Upon a second glance, it was clear that three of them weren’t demons but angels, well one seems to be human but a shady one at that. Despite the suffocating anxiety settling in, I bit my lip and debated my options. Dying in a foreign hell didn’t seem too nice right about now.
‘Remember Y/N, when meeting anyone, no matter their status, act polite and formal. It has the lowest likelihood of backfiring.’ A voice echoed in my mind.
As much as I hated it when… he decided to implant thoughts in my memory, they were often useful. Heeding the voice’s advice I promptly bowed, straightening my posture as a rose again.
“My name is Y/N, I’m a human.”
“Y/N? Human? How intriguing, how is a human like you here?” The man beside the first laughed, placing a hand on the stern one’s shoulder as he spoke.
As if sharing the same thought, the all turned to the white haired human before he chuckled awkwardly and shook his head.
“Don’t look at me, this isn’t my doing, I don’t know anyone named Y/N.”
I just stood silently, watching as they devolved into bickering, the red-head who had addressed me before standing aside with another man, entertained my their squabbles. That was until I received a firm poke to my shoulder. I jolt at the sudden contact, smacking them on the cheek with the whisk still in my hand.
“Oh, can I?” The ginger asked, motioning to the bowl tucked under my arm.
I raised a bow and just held the whisk up at his face, him leaning forward and licking the frosting off, starting blankly at me before changing to a content smile and licked the rest of the frosting off of it.
“Mmm, sweet, did you make this?”
“Huh? Well, yes?”
He nodded, grabbing my shoulders and turning to face the group, his yelling grabbing their attention.
“Lucifer! We’re keeping her!”
“What?! No we’re not!”
“I think it’s an amazing idea, Lucifer! She can move into the spare room in the House of Lamentation!”
“Diavolo… yes sir.” Lucifer sighed.
—————————-
And that’s how I ended up here, sat on a bed that was apparently now mine while a demon cooed and painted my nails.
“Ah, you look so adorable Y/N-chan,” Asmodeus sang, admiring my now dry nails.
It had only been a day since I had been… given refuge in this house, and it was already exhausting. The brothers seemed to not trust me, yet clung to me whenever I went into shared living spaces. I’ve been jumped on, bit and two of the brothers even started yelling at each other when their “Y/N schedule” overlapped. It wasn’t all bad though. The brothers weren’t the only ones present at the time and the others seemed to stick around.
As Asmodeus dragged me by my arm out of the room into the library, I gulped as all eyes drew to us, their hungry stares sending shivers up my spine. As my eyes met a pair of friendly gold ones, a grin spread on Diavolo’s face, ushering me over.
“Ah, Y/N, are both of you done with your pampering? Come sit with us!” Diavolo grinned, patting his thigh.
I walk over to sit between him and Barbatos, standing waiting for an opportunity to sit down. Both of them looked at each other with a smirk, Diavolo leaning back and patting his thigh again.
“Come, what has you hesitating?” He grinned.
“Wait, you want me to… sit on-“
Diavolo leant forwards, intertwining our fingers as he pulled me towards himself, using his other hand to spin me around and sit me on his thigh. I tense up, hands shooting to sit in my lap. His hands stay on my hips, rubbing up and down my sides as he casually continued to speak to brothers.
“Lucifer, have you thought about our previous discussion?”
“Yes, my brothers and I would be more than able to monitor her at RAD.”
“Wait what?” I ask, turning back to look at Diavolo.
He just chuckled and leant forwards, his chin resting on my shoulder.
“Well, you must be here for some reason even if you’re unaware, so we’ve decided to let you stay. To help you integrate into the Devildom we’re enrolling you in RAD, the Royal Academy of Diavolo. Lucifer and his brothers will look after you during your stay, so if any problems come up, please do tell them. I don’t mind if you come visit Barbatos and I though, I can always make time for… special guests.”
His horns rubbed against the back of my neck as his grip tightened when the other brothers come into the library. Yeah… this is going to be a stressful stay.
Yay finally managed to copy past this without my tumblr having a stroke. I hope you people like this, I’m down horrendous for these men and really want an excuse to write for these characters. The relationships will build quickly and each new update will focus on a character primarily, perhaps with nsfw? Idk depends on how well you all take this. There are some characters I think would make sense to get close to first in this so I’ll make it up to y’all. As much as I want Diavolo sadly I don’t think, going down the harem route, that he’d be the first one you offically started dating, he’d probably be either after or just before Lucifer to be honest.
#x reader#yandere x reader#obey me x reader#obey me#yandere obey me#yandere obey me x reader#obey me asmodeus#obey me lucifer#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me beelzebub
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Arturo and Charles parallels in DRDT and just how much they're alike and different.
Sorry if this is confusing and all over the place it's just an info dump for myself 😭
So DRDT is a guilty pleasure for me, I enjoy it to death, and I honestly couldn't see myself without it today. It's shaped so much of my personality and how I act and am today.
But enough talk about how drdt has changed me. There's been something on my mind.
You see... Charles and Arturo are some of my favorite characters in despair time. They're both really well written. Then, I started to see more and more similarities between the two men. And my friends can back me up on how crazy I went.
!!SPOILERS FOR ALL OF DESPAIR TIME AHEAD!!
Website information
Arturo and Charles both get a lot of information on the website already, without even needing to watch any episodes of drdt. We can immediately pinpoint a few things just from the character page alone!
Their names follow a "last name is 1 letter shorter than the first name" pattern, and while that holds no significance, I find it funny that BOTH of them have that. It's just a cool little thing, yknow?
They also have condescending lines at the top of their character bio's
Charles:
"Heh. It's a waste of my time talking to an imbecile like you."
Arturo:
"I only talk to attractive people, so you can get out of my sight."
Both of their talents also fall slightly under the "science" field. Chemistry, and
can I say biology for plastic surgery?
They both have similar favorite colors; Charles having his favorite as Cerulean, which is a shade of blue. And Arturo's being a blueish white color.
They both smell alike as well. Laundry Detergent and Antiseptic, both chemical like smells. Both of the things I've just mentioned don't really matter but more tiny similarities between them.
Diving further into the character page we get these lines in their bio's
Arturo is rude, condescending, and has little value for others
And for Charles
He(Charles) looks down upon those he views as less intelligent.
They both speak down to people, having high standards for them, and if you don't meet them, they'll flick you away. They don't care about you unless you meet those very specific standards. You either must be smart or beautiful.
Another small thing about these two we see on the character page: they both have specific likes and almost opposite dislikes when it comes to how the common person would react to this.
Charles:
Likes: Coffee ice cream
Dislikes: Dogs
Arturo:
Likes: Tabloids
Dislikes: Unclean air
Dogs are a beloved pet by many. They're friendly, adorable, lovable, and all in all, just an enjoyable animal to be around. Charles, however, dislikes them. A very opposite view to a common person.
Unclean Air, on the other hand, is something so many people live around and have to deal with every day. It's unlivable to deal with, and many can agree with Arturo's dislike to the dirty breathing.
And that's all we can get from the website. All we can g-
Arturo: You hated them, but even that doesn’t justify what you did.
Charles: If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway.
Oh... those things. Arturo seems to be the catalyst for this, causing something to happen to "them" because of hatred.
Charles seems to be on the other end, something happening to him and then his memories being gone and then being told, "none of those members should ever be kept anyway."
A theme you should keep in mind. The attacker/catalyst and the receiver/victim.
Now let's move on :3
Prologue
In the Prologue, we get another simple scene of Arturo being condescending towards others when we first "meet" him:
Arturo: Tch. Do I need to spell it out any more for you two(Xander and Teruko)?
Arturo: You two are ugly. And I don’t talk to ugly people. So get out of my sight.
Charles also doesn't hold high standards when he meets "us," telling us that our talents are useless, and then we get this amazing thing
Charles: I was informed that Hope's Peak Academy was allegedly a prestigious place filled with talented people, but I see now that I may have been better off going to an elementary school with a bunch of children.
Bro is roasting us and leaving nothing left but ashes !!! (/j)
Sadly, I couldn't find too much to compare these two men with in the Prologue since they don't get much screen time as a whole. Though I do have to say neither of them seemed to even give a single care about the killing game, even saying they wouldn't mind.
Chapter 1
These two act just like an old married couple like, seriously. They're just bickering back and forth but absolutely ROASTING the living life out of each other.
I said I respected your talent, Arturo, not your character nor your weird obsession with attractiveness. Those latter aspects could use significant work.
At least my talent could fix your ugly face. There's nothing that can be done for your foul personality.
They need frigging Levi to break them up like who knows where they could've gone with that back and forth banter and for seemingly "serious" characters they can get down right PETTY responses.
But. That's basically them during chapter 1, rude, condescending, awful assholes who no one really likes. Not even me. Though I thought Whit was going to be an awful character, so tkle that into account.
Until the BDA.
Both of them had slightly important roles in the BDA. Arturo finds the body with Veronika and is a catalyst into the BDA announcement going off. And then Charles, who is the unfortunate victim of finding the body of Teruko while she's unconscious and bloody. Running off in fear and panic as he has to cope with the fact he saw a bloody body. And he hated it.
Arturo was pretty accusatory during the trial, but that wasn't something out of the ordinary. Everyone was. Though he did save Teruko and was a major part of her being in the good condition she is. As good as you can get eoth a stab to the abdomen anyway. Charles, though, he was quiet. He didn't speak. He was horrified by what he saw.
Huh. Being a catalyst and saving someone from having worse injuries and then being the victim of seeing a body. This is another time it's happened.
Chapter 2
Chapter 2 is where shit goes down for these guys. So, in chapter two we start out with the motives being announced, and MonoTV being the incompetent FUCK it is, mixed them up and gave the wrong secrets to everyone.
So Arturo ends up getting J's secret about J being the child of Mariabella Rosales and this. This makes him absolutely obsessed over J. Causing him to go into a negative arc, going from an asshole to a creep.
Charles, on the other hand, has become at least slightly nicer and more bearable to be around. Whit has even said
"He's not an asshole all of the time. He's only an asshole some of the time."
Which is an improvement from when we first met him, he was rude pretty much every line he spoke. So he's going into a positive arc, becoming a more positive person.
And then we learn their secrets. Both of them have something to do with a family member dying:
Charles is visibly shocked but takes it like a champ and goes on about having parents keep secrets about your life from you for your safety.
Arturo, on the other hand... despite Eden being a sweetheart about it, that wasn't enough. Arturo threatened her with his scalpel.
The trial happens, and Arturo is quite defensive the whole time while Charles actually tries to keep the trial going on the right track.
Hell, look at the visual differences between the CG's they had this chapter:
Arturos are in a more negative light while Charles's are in a more positive light.
Family
Ah, family. A quote from a show "Family will always end up together, somehow" - Rescue Bots.
Not these families, though..
Elliot "Ellie" Cuevas is the older sibling of Charles Cuevas by about 11-13 years. They share many visual similarities and similar likes. Ellie is implied to be a much more laid-back person with the vibes his music video gave off. An older sibling who cared for their younger brother dearly. Elliot was an example for Charles. He'll the latter even grew their hair out because of the former.
Ellie is speculated to have died from a dog attack as Elliot love dogs, and Charles not only dislikes them but also has a scar on their arm from a dog (but was told and believes it's a birthmark). Charles most likely was present at the death of his brother and from that developed a phobia of blood and dead bodies.
A victim caught up in the awful tragedy of losing a beloved.
Felicity Giles is the younger sister of Arturo Giles by 3-4 years. She is shy and has low self-esteem but has never made a canonical appearance. One of the only siblings(the only sibling of the 4 important ones we've seen) that don't have a canon look.
We know she committed suicide because Arturo left her. We don't know the circumstances surrounding it, though it's commonly speculated Arturo left for medical school. Arturo denies it being his fault. However. See where denial gets you.
The catalyst for pushing his sister to suicide by leaving.
Bonus:
It's just a silly little thing. The placement of Arturo and Charles on the website is that Charles is 3rd on the website character order, and Arturo is 10th.
Nothing big, right? Well guess what happens episode 3.
Yep. Charles is threatened by Teruko, the protagonist, with her custom weapon. In the infirmary, nonetheless.
Now, that'd just be a one-off thing, right? Well, Episode 10 rolls around and..
Yep. Episode 10 is the episode where Arturo threatens Eden, the support in a sense, with his custom weapon in the infirmary.
One last thing..visual similarities:
And also they both have something covering a part of their face !!!
Green is associated with disgust, and Arturo is disgusted quite a lot.
Purple is associated with fear, Charles is fearful quite a bit around blood and dead bodies.
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Thank you for reading all this and listening to me ramble, it means a lot. ❤️
#drdt#danganronpa despair time#despair time#charles cuevas#drdt charles#arturo giles#drdt arturo#kat talks#this took 6 days...#save me
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Holy crap guys. In two days it will have been three months since I've had this blog (I don't count my blog that I had for a year back in 2019 because I only wrote with like...two Alastors.) And I woke up this morning to hitting my 300th follower.
I'm really terrible at those follow forever things, plus I know they can sometimes make people feel shitty, so I'm not going to do that. But that's like, 100 followers a month. And I am shook.
I know I've done a big sappy 'thank you' to this rpc before, but I'm about to do it again. Thank you all for being arguably the best community I've been in. Ever. I've been writing since I was 11, and while it wasn't as bad and clique-y back then, there wasn't much of a community either. This is the first time I have genuinely felt a community.
Thank you for loving my spider child. Angel means more to me than anything (other than Eddie Kaspbrak and Steve Harrington too but shhhh I've ignored them for months whoops). I am so connected to this character, and I am my happiest when getting to portray him, whether that be through cosplay or writing. The fact that you guys like my portrayal enough for me to have THREE HUNDRED FOLLOWERS means so much. I get done on myself, but then I remind myself I still have 76 drafts to do so clearly people want to write with me. It's so nice.
Everyone here is so supportive. All the little dash commentary, and writing on people's stuff. It's a nice change. Interactions have been so limited in past fandoms I've been in, so knowing that we can just comment like we are a big family without people being "ew" about it is nice. Knowing people will actually send in memes is nice. Knowing people will create small stories on the dash is nice. I used to honestly hate one liners, and I still much prefer multi-para/novella, but it's fun to do little silly things. You all changed my mind there.
I still have dupe anxiety and I probably always will, but that has nothing to do with the people on here. It has to do with me beating myself up and worrying that my portrayal isn't good compared to others or that I'm the 'lesser Angel.' But there's such a balance here of being being genuine support of every portrayal, it's so nice. No one really ignores anyone else, which is helping that a lot. I don't know if I'm strong enough mentally to interact with other Angels like you guys do (I see you Alastor orgy or whatever), but at least I'm not having a visceral response when seeing one on the dash. You guys have helped that.
Also...thank you for helping me fall in love with Helluva Boss? I had never really watched it prior (I'd seen the pilot and another episode), but you all write the characters so beautifully that it made me want to get into it. I still haven't finished the series, but I have two cosplans on my list from it (maybe three, who knows). I don't know if that would have happened if I hadn't been blown away by your guys' talent.
Thanks for letting me explore dark topics without cancelling me. I got cancelled unfairly in another fandom (which was a fucking HORROR FANDOM come on now), so being able to write out things and know I'm safe to do so is just such a breath of fresh air. This fandom is a breath of fresh air. Glad we are all equally fucked up with our dead dove over here, hahahaha.
So just....thank you. For following me. For writing with me. For creating beautiful worlds with me. 300 followers. I still can't believe that. Wow.
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WOAGH I got tagged by @elliegoose to do a thingy!
now the tag game was to introduce yourself with:
one tv show
one movie
one album
one video game
I, however, liked that they did two and I am ALSO cute and get to do whatever I want so im gonna do two, too.
TV shows: The Venture Bros. and Hilda
talk about opposite ends of the spectrum, eh? Now Venture Bros. will always come with an asterisk, that being that it's an Adult Swim show that was created in the early 2000s by two white guys. Its comedy, especially in earlier seasons, can be unsavory. I'm a big believer in things being imperfect though. Not every show can live up to every standard, and sometimes you just need to roll your eyes at jokes that were made 10-20 years ago. If you can get past that what you get is an excellent and genuinely fun world full of Spyfi and Superhero parodies with a good story to boot.
Hilda, on the other hand, is a show for younger audiences based on a kids book series that largely has to do with various pieces of Scandinavian folklore. I've watched Hilda all the way through twice, once on my own as it was coming out and then once with my wife, and its just so so so lovely. The colour tones of red blue yellow and white, the delightful music, the adorable cast of characters and creatures, its such a good time. One of the best cozy up and just vibe it out shows imo. In my top 5 for sure.
Movies: Everything, Everywhere, All at once and Wolf Children.
What hasn't been said about EEAAO? It won awards that it damn well deserved, its got a perfect cast, it makes me cry every time I watch it. A compelling story about family and change, and the monumental difficulties that can come with them, as well as how different people survive hardships in their life, all wrapped up in the most batshit thing you've ever seen. Clair De Lune, THE SONG I GOT MY NAME FROM, is the main theme and it makes me tear up every time. In every universe, I would love to do laundry and taxes with you, and watch this movie.
Wolf Children isn't far off from that vein. I consider it to be Studio Chizu's magnum opus and I don't say that lightly. From the presentation and voice cast to the music and gorgeous art used in the movie, not even to MENTION how good the story about family, change, growing up, and letting go is, if you don't cry in the first 30 mins you should evaluate your emotional status. This movie means so much to me, its such a gorgeous story, and more people should know about it. Studio Chizu doesn't have a single miss in my opinion, just lesser and greater movies. Wolf Children is hands down the greatest.
Albums: Get Lonely by The Mountain Goats and No Dogs Allowed by Sidney Gish
What??? Clair's top two isn't DnB or something techno related???? Nah dog, I get sad a lot and have a thing for poetry. Get lonely was an album I listened to in some of the worst years of my adult life. I was 20 living with my family who made me miserable in a state that was (and still is) trying to get rid of people like me, and I had very little things that were mine. Walking around downtown Bartow, Florida, in the two weeks of winter that hell state gets while listening to John Darniel sing about soft agonies while watching my breath dissipate into the air? That was mine, and it always will be. TMG in general is I think my favourite band. The poetry on display in every one of their songs is just, too beautiful for my dumb ass to put in any meaningful way.
No Dogs Allowed was an album I listened to while working a midnight shift job I hated while also living with my family. Its an upbeat, quirky, kind of melancholy romp with songs that bring me back to driving from Bartow to Lakeland hoping I could stop myself from either killing myself or fucking up my friendships, whichever came first. Spoiler alert, I'm still alive. It also reminds me of the last big thing I ever did with my sibling before I left Florida for good, which was go to the Tampa Bay Aquarium with them. Several songs from the album were on the playlist I made for us, and hearing them always makes me want to shoot them a message to see if they're doing okay.
Video Games: Night in the woods and Final Fantasy XIV Online
Night in the woods is very, very near and dear to my heart. I honestly don't know what to say. If you've played it you know how good it is. How well written the story of Mae and her mental health crisis is. How it goes over things like poverty and trying to get by/make a better life. Family struggles that they don't talk to you about, small hometown decay that seeps into your every memory until the place you grew up in looks like a collection of distorted rotting shapes. I play it once a year in the fall, and each time I do its like seeing an old friend again. At the end of everything, hold onto everything.
Final Fantasy XIV Online is a game you can play with your friends. I could go on and on and on about how I have 1300 hours in this game and how I met some good friends on it, and how important it is to me as a piece of writing and a community and an experience. But we'd be here all day. FFXIV was there for me in some very tough times. I met new people, I grew distant from others, I have regrets and joys that I still carry with me. If you can get into it with the right people, the game really is something special. Its something to be shared, its a bustling community with all the edges that come with that, its a world where you can be a 7ft. tall elf with green eyes and white hair, and its a part of me.
As for who I wanna tag: @problematicmilf , @ninefoldrin , @baphomets-hairy-bonkhonagahoogs , @mobileleprechaun , and anyone who sees this and wants to do it too. This was fun! Hope I don't seem too lame lol.
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Hi,
I searched your blog but didn’t see anything, not sure if I’m using the wrong keywords.
I’m watching Angel for the first time and I’m wondering what your takes were on Spike being a champion and the whole Nina/Angel relationship.
Thanks for looking! I haven't talked too much about s5 because usually on a rewatch I'm sick of the show by season 3, but I've contemplated skipping s4 entirely or just watching episodes and then jumping to s5 to refresh me. But anyway, I never really had strong opinions about Nina and Angel. I think at most, I was glad we were finally no longer acting like sex was off the table for Angel, because it never was. Sex with Buffy is off the table and that's because, well, true love. So with Nina came the acknowledgment that there was not the same kind of feelings there and that was fine. Especially after the whole horrible Cordelia thing, it was a breath of fresh air at the time. I don't know if I'll still feel that way now, but I did at the time.
As for the Spike thing...well...hmm. Lol. I don't believe Spike earned his position as a Champion. I think that they made Spike a poor man's Angel and I think his character deserved better than that. Angel's soul was thrust upon him, sure, but he rose to the occasion when called. Spike, did not. Spike lamented his circumstances despite doing it to himself. He whined and self pitied and then was used against the side of good to kill potentials for the first because he was so weak willed. I don't think he did a single think in s7 BTVS to deserve being a champion other than sacrificing himself, which, honestly, isn't enough, because again, he didn't do that to save the world, he did that to save Buffy. Spike's motivations for being "good" have always been either, because he still got to kill (when he had the chip), and then eventually because it got him closer to Buffy. In Angel, s1-3, Angel is put through hell because he is still atoning, but Spike...just gets to be a Champion now? Lmao. He doesn't earn it, and it's insulting honestly. But I think shows struggle with characters changing while still maintaining their core personalities, because it requires a longterm goal and plan.
Consider Zuko's redemption arc. It's probably the best redemption arc ever done on television. But it's because from the very beginning, Zuko was not irredeemable. He struggled, but he received love, he was forced into situations that exposed him to the violence of the fire nation, and ended up on the receiving end of that brutality. He was stripped of his royal status and had to interact with every day people, seeing the scars of war. It fundamentally changed him as a person. And even then, when the time comes for him to make a big choice, he makes the wrong one. He chooses his home, his sister, his previous life, and Aang nearly dies for it. But he had idealized the palace, and when he returns, and his uncle refuses to speak to him, he feels shame and regret. He realizes he isn't the same person he was when he left. He finally makes the right choice, and seeks out the Gaang, and they don't accept him easily. When they do, it's because Zuko *acknowledges* how he hurt them and how he plans on doing better. And even after ALL that, he still has to win over Katara.
But Spike? Lmao. Spike gets a chip in his head - which on its own is hilarious and fun - but becomes exhausting after a while. He doesn't spend more time around the scoobies and begin to see value in what the scoobies are fighting for. He doesn't begin to realize all the fear and harm and damage demons do to humans. He doesn't even actually save anybody, he just kills demons because it's the only people he can kill. He creates the buffybot out of his obsession with Buffy, and she rewards him for it. He doesn't go out and save people on his own, he kills demons on his own. He doesn't begin a path to redemption and keep trying to do right. He manipulates Buffy into spending time together "fighting evil" to expose Riley and stands outside her house so long he leaves piles of cigarettes. When he keeps Joyce and Dawn safe, it's to impress Buffy. It's not really about Joyce and Dawn. Sure, he likes them, but if they weren't an extension of Buffy, he wouldn't care about them nearly as much. He has no path to redemption, no reckoning with who he used to be, no guilt even. With a soul he mocks Robin, and wears his dead mother's jacket. Angel was ANGUISHED over what he'd done before. Spike tries to rape Buffy, then gets a soul to punish her. He never truly apologizes or is forced to confront what he did to Buffy. The scoobies aren't even allowed to be mad at him over it, much less make him work for their forgiveness. Buffy just lets it all slide. Then he self immolates and he's a champion? Where's the path to goodness? Where's the redemption? Where's the amends? Angel has an entire episode dedicated to making amends. Spike? Lol.
So all that to say, I don't think him becoming a Champion is any more earned or deserved than I think it made sense for Cordelia to suddenly take Buffy's place cuz she got visions.
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"I will help you protect your family" thinks the ML.
SIR, YOU ARE THERE IN DISGUISE TO INVESTIGATE THEM FOR TREASON ON BEHALF OF PARANOID EMPEROR.
And nothing clicks in that empty skull of his.
But then, this is the man who thought it was an awesome idea to send his either traumatized or disabled (not clear) sister to live with a bunch of strangers who he is investigating for treason and whose family has already been exiled/impoverished BY THE FREAKING EMPEROR HIMSELF! There are so many bad scenarios there - from the emperor suspecting him and his sister of collusion, to his sister being implicated, to all sorts of violence and just NO BRAIN ALL EMPTY is the ML.
This said, perhaps I am unjust to him. I am pretty sure I'd not be able to handle a super powerful job like chief of secret police in such a fashion that it apparently leaves him all this other time to wander around with FL, be a martial arts teacher and what not. Any man who can do chief of secret police job in about .7 sec a day like he does without being fired certainly is skilled.
PS What is the point of him walking in that mask all over and nobody in the court except the emperor knowing he's the chief when literally every single one of his employees sees him without a mask. Are you telling me none of these dozens of people could be bribed? Forget "two can keep a secret if one of them is dead" - this is a literal crowd!
PPS Does the heroine have face blindness, lack of spacial awareness and is utterly deaf? He doesn't change his voice between personas and how many 6'2 dudes are wandering around town? But then his own family seems to have no curiosity about where he goes all day so perhaps he's just utterly forgettable.
PPPS This drama is written by Till the End of the Moon screenwriters. That drama had its flaws in terms of narrative and character understanding (and that ending was a MESS) but it was largely coherent. But this is more holey than a colander. How?! (This said, Moon always worked best when it stuck close to the novel; but this has a novel too so...)
PPPPS If you are dying to watch female empowerment through trade with a dreamy secret police torturer ML set up, you are much better off going to A Dream of Splendor. I found ADOS morally repugnant for reasons I've talked about at length when it aired, but it was well-acted and narratively coherent. I didn't have to like those characters and found a lot of its POV gross but it actually made sense - these felt like people in a consistent world, not whatever this mess is.
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I've also seen people say (on twitter of course lol) that Matt interjected deliberately and pointedly after Orym's family question which also feels a little wild to me, like there are "sides" between the cast and he's taken one. I don't think I've ever seen how far people in this fandom can run with something, so I'm surprised even though I shouldn't be. The Bor'dor discourse still also bothers me because in-game Laudna was simply not aware of the nod or anything else but what she wanted to do.
Hey anon,
I agree entirely, that this is conspiracy-level thinking. But ultimately I think what's more important is that if the ship I'd claimed to have desperately wanted for months became canon, and when the most recent episode that aired had the two characters in this ship canonically dancing together and one putting their head in the other's lap, I still found myself spending far more time talking about what a guy who isn't even attracted to either of the characters involved did ten episodes ago? I think I'd simply delete my account and walk into the woods never to return.
Like truly, I wonder, what is it? Is it that Imogen still hates Pate? Is it disorientation from the constant whiplashing between opinions depending on which character they've decided to hate this week, of which the rapid flip from "Bells Hells has a tight Found Family Bond, you guys are just haters" to "Bells Hells is on the VERGE of a BLOW-UP" is only the latest example? Is it because not only did Laudna say nothing about the Turn Undead from two weeks ago, but asked FCG specifically to Scry on Delilah and even seemed amenable to them asking the Changebringer for help on this matter? Is it because in that aforementioned dance, instead of doing anything to return Imogen's affections, Laudna just wandered off to make small talk with someone else? Is it because the cast cheered harder for Cyrillia/Novos? Is it because Imogen and Laudna didn't even bother to take watch together on Slival? Is it because nearly every opportunity onscreen seems like a lost one and the fans are running out of people to blame? Is it because the latest 4-Sided dive made it clear that there's been no planning, no intent, no change, and six episodes later still no out of episode conversation, and the Rose City Comic-Con Panel has no new information and is giving "contractually obligated"? Is it because more so than the ship, the people wanted it to be the Popular Ship, and it's not, because there's no connective tissue, none of the little moments that made up the magic of every past canon relationship on the show, just an accommodating blank canvas to play back whatever one is projecting onto it? Is it because if they keep blaming Orym, and FCG, and Ashton, and coins, and dice, and the DM, and the other fans, and every one else, they don't have to admit that they would rather be pining for the actually good slow-burn they dreamed of, instead of experiencing a Pyrrhic victory if ever there was one?
This isn't about Bor'Dor, or Orym, and it's barely about Laudna. Unless a chemistry that has not yet existed comes into being in the next episode, they'll either post some other conspiracy theories about an episode from three months ago, or they'll make up some other bullshit Us Vs Them thing to get mad about that Laudna will again fail to validate for them in game, and then rinse and repeat on this miserable treadmill of their own making.
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disclaimer: written pre-release
i've had this sitting in my drafts for a bit since i started playing BG3, I kept seeing a particular kind of post regarding Astarion and it really started to frustrate me soooooo. here's a vaguely coherent rant nobody asked for pff
As I got into the game, following Astarion's romance subplot, doing research on the game and characters thus far, I encountered the schism between those who love Astarion and by extension, characters like him, and those that consider said characters as little more than toxic creatures, narcissists best dealt with swiftly and harshly. The latter tends, in the posts I've found at least, to view the former as poor unfortunate souls with the dreaded "i can fix him" mentality.
Now, I'm not here to say either is entirely wrong. I think to take a side here is to do the exploration a disservice and to forget the depth of nuance in art and media interpretation.
And that's just it. Because at the end of the day, interpretation is one of the key elements involved in this discourse. In the case of Astarion, especially with the game having been in early access for so long and no complete, guaranteed details of his past or arc made public yet, with so much up in the air as the full release drops, there are worlds of interpretations that can be made regarding our infamous vampire rogue.
Is one of those interpretations that he's both emotional and literal vampire who's every action is a trap for the protagonist in order to use them, and that he's irredeemable? Yes. Is another that he's simply trying to survive in a situation he's never been in after spending two centuries living like an animal? Also yes.
The error here, I think, is to treat one interpretation like it's more "right" than another. Which is what I've seen a lot of online threads do... Insisting one perspective is superior to the other. Which is bad faith even on a good day when either perspective is based in concrete, unchangeable fact. Even moreso in this case, until there's complete canon material to bank on, and even then that will have so much variety to it since most of it will depend on the actions of the player. It's a choice-based game. There is so much space for varied experiences, and none of them will be "right" or "wrong."
I feel like in modern media discussion, when considering whether a character is actively harmful or just flawed, it can be easy to forget that some of our most popular stories are ones in which someone is deemed beyond hope or redemption, a danger to all they encountered, only for their arc to raise them from their Pit of Dickishness and set them on pedestals as some of the most memorable, inspiring characters we know.
The timeless story of the Christmas Carol gives us an absolutely despicable old geezer who literally spells out the horror he'd inflict upon the poor if he could, simply for the sin of poverty. But in an effort to fixate only on how problematic he (very much intentionally) is, we might lose sight of how the whole point of the story is to watch him be forced to confront his ways, unpack all his crap, and become better for it in the end.
Characters like Prince Zuko, Edmund Pevensie, Greedling, Steve Harrington, Boromir, James Ford, friggin Darth Vader, we wouldn't have any of them if we only read them at surface level as toxic assholes and then left it at that. But through learning the nuances of these characters and watching them confront their actions and consequences and learn from them, they not only grow and change into better people, but we love them because they hold pieces of ourselves in them, despite their sharp edges. We can understand why they are the way they are, and maybe, if we're honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge that we might have done similarly awful things under their circumstances. It makes them relatable, admirable, and cautionary all at once. It makes them human.
None of that is to say that there are never characters built purely and solely to fear and loath, not at all. True scumbags can and do exist, both in fiction and reality. To try to enforce the idea of finding empathy for a true monster is often a tactic used in reality to gaslight people into excusing said monsters' behavior.
Which leads into the "i can fix him" argument. When applied to situations dealing with real dangerous and horrid people who can't or won't change? Absolutely Not Great (though that's not to say it can't be included in a story, there are valuable themes in that on its own). Condoning this dynamic as something good is what leads to abusive relationships and innocent people staying in unhealthy situations for far too long. I'm among those who can attest to that personally.
That said, when it comes to Astarion, no one can rightly say going through his romance arc or not is condoning anything. Because it once more comes down almost entirely to perspective and interpretation, because he's a video game character comprised of pixels and a well-written script and there are limitless ways he can be interpreted and interacted with.
Like, personally, yes, there are some dynamics I'd feel uncomfy pairing him with, even with the empathy I feel for his character. Platonic or romantic, doesn't matter. Does that mean I'm going to apply my interpretation and personal boundaries to the next person playing the Astarion romance? No. That would be assuming I've somehow discovered the "correct" way to interpret the game, which I have not and can never do because RPGs like Baldur's Gate 3 are such personalized experiences. People are 100% free to play a fictional game however the hell they so please, because stories are not inherently 1-to-1 reflections of reality.
Especially when it comes to the narcissism accusation, it sparks an extra layer of discomfort for me when it seems like characters who act selfishly or spin lies get called "narcissistic" when that's kinda severely over-generalizing what narcissism actually is??
Narcissism is inherently selfish, but not all selfishness is narcissism. Gaslighting is built on lies, but not all lies are gaslighting. This separation was literally bugging me so much, I talked with my therapist about it last week. And she agreed.
Some folks seem to forget is actual NPD isn't just about selfishness and manipulating. It's fragile ego and delusions of grandeur and the mind games, dysregulating highs and humiliating lows that they will weave in a web around you so that you, as a victim, can never get your mental and emotional footing. Usually for the purposes of then swooping in to offer themselves as your only source of stability. The whole "rely on me because your judgment is clearly faulty and you need to be protected from yourself" shtick.
You know. Kinda like Cazador.
The way I see Astarion, by contrast, is that he has an honesty to him that lacks such delusions. As much as he desperately tries to maintain this veneer of poise and sass and devil-may-care out of self-preservation, it's paper thin and crumples under the barest pressure. Like, the equivalent of a thematic sneeze and down he goes. Then you see him as he is. Which is just... frightened. Sad. Kinda pathetic, really. And absolutely, positively lost. All things he knows, but he legit believes he will be killed if he lets any of it show.
Comparing that to, say, Wyll, who's blissfully ignorant bluster reminds me painfully of self-aggrandizing family members that I love but can't interact with honestly because of the forest of self-delusion around them... well, it's not much of a contest.
If somebody interprets Astarion as a slimy, manipulating power-monger and gets rid of him the first chance they have, that's their story to tell and power to them for it. But the same must be said for the opposite. I don't appreciate the thought that there's a whole sect of the BG3 fandom that probably genuinely considers me "less than" or "unhealthy" or "problematic" in some way for being among those who like this character or others like him and their potential thematically and narratively. But if my interpretation is that he’s a frightened man who just wants to feel safe and free, that is also its own story and it's mine to tell if I wish. And both can be good or even powerful stories!
Is all of this based on my own personal nuances, biases, and priorities? Absolutely. And that's kinda the whole point... There's not a wrong answer with this, really. I experience these games and these characters through a lens that is mine and mine only, and I give meaning to the worlds I enter based on what makes the story feel most interesting and satisfying for me. And at the end of the day, what else is art for but to help us explore ourselves and learn a little bit more about what it means to be human. In all its glory and ugliness.
And that's a wholly personal journey nobody deserves to have micromanaged or belittled. I'm certainly not gonna go around looking down on anyone for having a different reading than mine. You do you, boo. But let me do me too.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#my musings#in this essay i will#half of this feels incomprehensible because i added tidbits over the span of a week#but maybe someone somewhere will get something out of it#it was cathartic for me anyway#narcissism#character analysis#media literacy#art interpretation#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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TMNT 2k3 AU WIP #1: Fish Out of Water
Decided it'd be fun to start sharing WIPS and stuff again, so I wanted to share a sneak peek of a new project called Fish Out of Water.
Fish Out of Water, is my shameless OCXCanon fict, revising a character I've had since I was 17. I've been wanting to bring her back and after much encouragement from Aileen ( @theblueskyphoenix go check out her TMNT art!) Without further adieu... Here's a sneak peek of what's to come under the cut!
It was a foggy night. It was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
The clouds hid the moon while the fog set the stage across New York City.
The Battle Shells headlights cut through it, as Donnie sat up front.
He hated driving in this weather. It was getting late.
They lost track of time if he was being honest.
April had invited the turtles over, for a movie and food in exchange for helping with some chores around the 2nd Time Around.
“I figure you four don't need Casey for this… again.”
“Oof,” Raph winced. “What'd he do this time?”
April rolled her eyes.
“You don't wanna know.”
“So, what're we thinking…Casey able to redeem himself or are we gonna have to decide between friend and foe?” Mikey asked, breaking Donnie out of his train of thought.
So much had changed. New lair… New friends but danger at every turn.
Yet, they had hope. They had defeated the Shredder!
They took down the Mousers…
He couldn't shake the feeling something else was missing.
“I mean, we didn't think the superhero thing was gonna happen either,” Raph glanced behind him. He was sitting up front while Leo and Mikey were in the back. “Yet…”
“I proved you guys wrong!” Mikey grinned.
The other three groaned.
“Mikey we said we were sorry like ten times. Let. It go.” Leo pleaded.
“Nah I'm not bored yet.”
Donnie hummed, his mind going over various consoles Mikey had left on his work bench. His grip on the steering wheel tightened.
Ugh, this weather….
“Hey, Mikey, how much do you value your GameCube?”
Mikey’s baby blue eyes vanished as his inner eyelid shifted.
“You. Wouldn't. Dare.”
“Maybe I would put it on the top shelf.”
The turtles often referred to the top shelf of Donnie’s work area Death Row of Appliances, because once they went up, they might never come back down.
“No!”
“Appliance Hell. Brutal. I like it.” Raph nudged him.
Donnie chuckled.
“Heh…”
Finally, the fog was starting to fade, as a truck pulled out in front of them, cutting the armored truck off.
Donnie cussed, as he slowed down, to avoid colliding with it.
Raph leaned his hand out the window.
“HEY A-HOLE! IT’S CALLED A STOP SIGN!” He roared out at the truck.
“Raph, don’t.” Donnie sighed. “He’s just an a-”
The truck had double doors on the back, with a window on each door.
The headlights illuminated the back of the truck, when..
THUNK!
A hand hit the window, slamming into it.
“What the?”
Raph’s eyes widened, glancing over.
“I wasn’t the only one who saw that right?”
The truck was picking up speed.
THUNK!
A face appeared in the window, the person inside throwing themselves against the doors.
Trouble.
Don narrowed his eyes.
“Guys, we need to make a stop.”
I don’t like this.
A muffled scream made it through.
“SOMEBODY PLEASE!”
Leo and Mikey narrowed their eyes, as they turned their attention towards it.
“Donnie?”
“I’m already on it.”
Donnie narrowed his eyes.
The Battle Shell, sped after the truck, as the turtles, prepared for a new mission ahead.
“What’s the plan Leo?” Mikey asked, getting to his feet.
“Mikey, Raph you’re with me, Donnie get the Battle Shell as close as you can!”
He opened the latch on the roof, climbing out, the wind blowing his mask tails around.
The cold night air was crisp as he climbed up onto the rooftop.
His vivid green irises vanished behind the inner eyelid.
It was time to get to work.
-----------------
She woke up, in the back of some sort of refrigerated truck… covered up by a sheet, on the floor. The last thing she had remembered was blinding pain…
“Now, now don’t make such a fuss!” Dr. Stockman chided, as he approached her, syringe in hand.
A glowing green liquid was held up to her face.
“I hate to say this… but this will hurt.”
That man…
She had been held captive by him and the other scientists, for weeks, with several other people… she wasn’t sure what happened to the woman she had shared a cell with.
Sidney…
She had been kind to her.
“What’re they gonna do to us?”
“Shh…”
Sidney, wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
Neither, really wanted to speculate on that. The constant tests… The medical exams.
Their minds conjured up the worst. Sidney tried to put on a brave smile, brushing Lorelei’s hair out of her face.
Lorelei hugged her tighter, whimpering.
“It’ll be okay, we’ll be fine… they’ll… someone will find us. It’ll be okay Lorelei.”
They knew she was lying… but was it lying if it kept them sane?
Nothing had been fine!
One minute, she was on that monster’s table, struggling to catch her breath, pain coursing through her body…
Her body hurt so bad.
“AAAAAAGH!”
Her heart was racing, thundering in her chest, she couldn’t breathe.
Dots danced in front of her vision.
A heart monitor nearby screamed.
Dr. Stockman, called out some sort of order, before looking down at her.
She wasn’t sure when… her eyes had closed and oblivion welcomed her into it’s loving embrace.
She coughed, sputtering, as she pulled herself to her feet.
Her body ached.
What… happened? Where am I?
Her mind raced, trying to get her mind to slow down.
She felt something around her wrist. Some sort of rubber band with a paper tag on it.
Subject #25
Age: 15
Cause of Death:
During the procedure, a complication occurred resulting in full respiratory and cardiac arrest. Resuscitation efforts failed.
Time of Death: 9:30 PM, 11/02/2003
Death?
Her heart skipped a beat.
If they thought she was dead… then…
She looked around her, as the realization set in. She was being taken somewhere to be disposed of.
If they realized she was still alive, they would take her either right to the lab or…
They’ll just kill me. I’ve seen their faces.
Her body was heavy as she stood up, stumbling. She looked down, as she tripped over something, as her foot collided with…
OW!
She stumbled, slamming into the doors of the truck. Part of her hoped, maybe they’d fall open and she’d fall out.
The other part was preoccupied with what she had tripped on.
A long… fish-like tail, that leads from the base of her spine, to the floor. It was brown, ending in a large fin.
What… happened to me?
Panic bubbled up in her, as her mind raced, her heart rushing to catch up.
Bile threatened to escape her, before she shook her head, hitting it against the door.
“Calm down!” She yelled, inhaling deeply. “Think through this. Come on.”
She lifted her head… as her eyes widened.
There was a large green truck, a real muscle car.
Maybe…
Just maybe.
She narrowed her eyes and forced herself to her feet.
She winced ,as she stumbled, nearly stepping over her… tail, oh gosh that was really hers? She shook her head.
She took a few steps back, before throwing herself HARD against it.
She slammed her hand, hard, her fist repeated against the window, screaming at the top of her lungs.
The truck swerved, as the drivers too were alerted, to her living presence.
Lorelei threw her head back and screamed at the top of her lungs.
“SOMEBODY PLEASE! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
She stumbled, as the truck picked up speed, as she was thrown against the floor again.
“AGH!”
SCREEECH!
Something metal collided with her side, as she gasped, before grabbing it.
A tire iron..
She grinned.
At least, this was better than nothing.
She got to her feet, gripping it in both hands.
Lorelei took a deep breath.
I’m not dying for real tonight.
She swung it against the window, as the glass shattered from the force.
CRACK!
She covered her face as shards flew into the trailer, with her, she used the tire iron to clear out more glass, before shoving her arm through, waving frantically for help.
Headlights flashed in her eyes, blinding her momentarily.
Please…
She bit back a sob.
“Please!!!” She screamed. “CALL 911!! HELP ME!!!”
Her scream echoed clear through the night now, hoping it reached…
As she peered through the window, she spotted two figures atop the truck.
Please… Please…
Her eyes burned, as she sobbed, lowering her head.
“Please…”
----------
The truck accelerated, as the drivers became aware of their passenger. The vehicle swerved, a loud shriek echoing from inside.
CRAA-AAAACK!!!
The window broke out, as the person inside, forced their arm through.
“Please!!! CALL 911!! HELP ME!!!”
Her scream echoed clear through the night now, sending a chill down the turtles spines.
Mikey growled.
“Leo! What’s the plan!?”
“Crap.” Leo hissed under his breath. “RAPH, DONNIE BOX ‘EM IN!”
The doors opened up, as the Shell Cycle roared to life.
Donnie glanced in the rear view mirror, at Raphael.
“Make it hurt.” He smirked.
“You know me.”
Like a bat out of Hell, the Shell Cycle sailed out of the car, landing as Raph pulled up around the right side of the truck.
Leo and Mikey, crouched down, holding onto the roof, as Donnie swerved, to corner it.
The wind blew their masks' tails behind them.
Leo exhaled slowly, before pushing off in one smooth motion, as he lunged onto the roof of the truck.
“Hey MIkey?” “Yeah?” “Get ready to play catch.”
Mikey winced.
“Back in the car?”
Leo smirked.
“Back in the car.” “Aye, aye Captain!” He joked, before dropping back down through the hatch in the roof.
The truck swerved, as Leo crouched down, his stomach rolling for a moment.
He inhaled deeply…
Be careful… be swift…
The truck swerved and the turtle stumbled briefly, before catching himself, his heart leaping up into his throat.
Leonardo held his breath, as gravity threatened to take him down to the street below.
He righted himself.
“RAPH, WATCH IT!” He screamed.
Raph coasted back behind the truck, moving to catch up with the Battle Shell.
Mikey rolled down the passenger window, leaning out.
“What!?”
“That spike strip, Donnie borrowed last week!? Is it installed!?”
Mikey’s eyes lit up, as a wicked grin crossed his face.
“Ohh, THAT THING! Yep!”
Mikey leaned back into the cabin, turning to Donatello.
Donnie’s face was narrowed in focus.
“What do we need?” He asked, his voice clipped and even.
“Spike strip.”
“I see what he’s thinking. You got it.”
Mikey stuck his arm out the window, giving Raph a thumbs up.
“Which button?”
Donnie exhaled, unclenching his jaw, his hazel eyes returning for a moment.
He gave Mikey a playful grin.
“The red one.”
Mikey’s eyes lit up.
“DIBS!”
----------
Thank you so much, see you soon!
#Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles#TMNT Fanfiction#TMNT 2003#Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003#OC fanfiction#OC#Lorelei Palaemon#Donatello#Leonardo#Michelangelo#Raphael#TMNT 2K3#TMNT 2K3 Donnie#TMNT 2k3 Donatello X OC#TMNT 2K3 CanonXOC#OCXCanon#fanfiction#TMNT Fanfition#TMNT 2K3 Fanfiction
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Hello! Huh, what's this? A silly, cheesy little thing, I'd say ;)
TW: (very mild) alcohol, talking about stalking in a not very serious manner Genre: ...fluff? Silly fluff? Confused fluff? Word count: 5,3k Characters: Jake x Phil You can also read it on Ao3.
Not your stalker
With a quiet, contented sigh and a smile on his face, Phil finally let the last customer out and closed the door of Aurora behind them. He turned around and took a few steps towards the center of the pub, taking it all in. The wooden floors creaked softly under his feet. The air was thick with the comforting scent of dust, cigarette smoke, and the faint aroma of old furniture.
He knew it wasn’t the most pleasant smell for most, but for him, it was everything. To Phil, it was more than just a smell; it was a reminder of all he had, and almost lost just a couple of months back.
Every time he started cleaning up Aurora for the night, he thought about the day he was accused of a crime he didn’t commit and thrown into jail for a few weeks, with basically no explanation. The memories still lingered in his mind, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
For quite some time, nobody really cared about him. They had other things on their minds, such as their missing friends being found. He knew he wasn't a perfect person. People tended to either love him or hate him. However, at that time, those he thought were his friends simply didn't care, while those who couldn't stand him laughed behind his back. There was somehow no in-between.
The bartender couldn't help but smile, still lost in thought. He was released from custody only because someone had paid his bail. Then, mysteriously, his lawyer found evidence of his innocence. Normally, there would be nothing unusual about this—lawyers have their own methods for uncovering the truth and exploiting legal loopholes—but the sudden clarity of this particular situation was nothing short of a miracle. At least it felt that way. Despite the happy outcome, his lawyer seemed eager to sever all ties with Phil as soon as possible. In fact, he refused to even accept any money from him, leaving Phil with a sense of both gratitude and absolute confusion.
He hadn’t told his sisters about it. At first, he suspected they might have been involved, but he quickly dismissed the thought. He knew Jessy and Angela all too well; they were always quick to point out his flaws and mistakes, even the smallest ones. Surely, they wouldn't have helped him without a big, wonderful lecture about his life. So he just told them the case was solved, period.
He stopped caring about it and moved on. At least, that's what he was telling himself. He shook his head in frustration, trying not to overanalyze everything once again.
He walked over to the bar, slowly making his way through the tables, turning off the lights, picking up empty beer mugs, and wiping down the surfaces. Unable to shake his thoughts away, he changed the music to something less modern to keep his mind off things, but it didn't help either. Then he was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of the bell hanging above the door.
“I’m sorry, I already closed the pub,” he said, turning towards the sound. “Come back tomorrow, eh?”
Only then did he look at the person standing in the doorway and frown. He didn't recognize them. He knew basically every face, every name in Duskwood, after all. He knew at least something about everyone. Those were the advantages of running the only pub in town! Rumors came to him, and tourists, if they appeared at all, came early and didn't stay long.
And yet… there was a stranger in front of him.
The man didn’t answer. He just raised his brow slowly, glanced at Phil, and then looked around the pub.
“Look… I'm tired, I've already cleared the tables. I can give you a beer to go, but that's it,” the bartender said again, his tone tinged with a hint of annoyance.
“I don’t drink,” the stranger replied, his voice resonant and clear, his eyes meeting the bartender's.
Phil paused, the corners of his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to read the stranger's face, but it was particularly hard. “So, can I help you with anything else?” he asked with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. He wasn't sure, but the stranger seemed to give him a small smile. Then the man closed the door behind him and briskly walked down the two steps that led inside the pub.
“I just thought I could finally visit this place,” the man replied casually.
The bartender sighed deeply, trying to keep his composure. "Listen, man… I already told you, Aurora is closed for the night," Phil said firmly, walking over to the door and opening it wide. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you stay here. Now be so kind and get out, or I'll call the police.”
"Oh? The same police that were stupid enough to arrest you?" the stranger’s mocked.
The pub was quite dark, with most of the lamps already turned off by Phil. But at that moment, the light of a street lamp shone in through the open pub door, casting a warm glow on the stranger's face, finally illuminating his features.
As the bartender glanced at his unexpected guest, he noticed the fairly young man was likely around his age, if not a few years older. His all-black outfit, complete with a backpack clearly designed for carrying a laptop, gave him a serious and tidy vibe. Although his nearly black hair seemed neatly combed, it curled in every direction, as if mocking his efforts to keep it in check. Phil couldn't help but notice the man's tired, dark eyes. Yet there was something about his gaze, a level of… maturity that Phil had not expected to see.
“Get out,” the bar owner repeated, but without much conviction.
The stranger laughed softly but ignored his words, calmly and surely walking over to the bar. Laying his heavy backpack on one of the barstools, he sat on another, resting his hands on the counter.
“Could I get some coffee?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at the somewhat confused bartender.
Phil was not a person to be easily upset. True, sometimes he could say too much or react too harshly, but only with words. He was good with words and with people. But for some reason, the stranger didn't seem to care about that… and it was annoying.
“What do you want from me? Didn't you hear what I said?” Phil snapped, his frustration boiling over. He slammed the door shut, the sound reverberating through the room. Turning to the man, he stomped over, his footsteps echoing in the silence. Grabbing the stranger's arm, he spun him around on the stool with such force that he almost fell off his seat.
Phil was surprised when the stranger didn’t react with fear or surprise, but instead looked at him with an understanding gaze, as if he knew something that Phil didn't. The bartender's anger slowly dissipated as he studied the man's reaction, taking a small step back.
"Now, to answer your questions…” the man sighed, shifting on the barstool once more. “First, I'd appreciate some coffee or something else with caffeine. For your other concern… of course, I've heard what you said, but I don't necessarily want to leave. The truth is, I feel like I owe you this meeting… or at least an explanation."
Phil scoffed. "Oh, you think so?"
"Correct," the stranger exhaled. "I should have done it sooner, but somehow, well... To be completely honest with you, Hawkins, I think you were getting on my nerves a bit too much," he added with a lopsided smile.
"So, you know who I am?" Phil's anger was replaced by curiosity in less than a few seconds.
The bartender then quickly bit his bottom lip, refraining from asking the stranger more. He was well aware of one of his greatest flaws and, even though he didn't like to admit it to himself too often, he secretly enjoyed being the center of attention. No matter what.
"So... no coffee then? Well, that's a shame," the stranger rested his hands on the counter once more and pointed to a soda drink on the right side behind the bar. "So let’s put it this way. The truth is, I happen to know quite a bit about you accidentally, even though you probably don't know who I am. Before you jump to any conclusions - no, I am not your stalker; no, I am not trying to extort money from you; and no, I am definitely not involved in any scheme or conspiracy that would require your involvement."
"You know about me... accidentally ?" Phil repeated doubtfully, walking behind the bar and facing the stranger. "What kind of bullshit is that?"
"Oh, well..." he chuckled again, "I wouldn't say it’s bullshit. Not entirely, at least. You see, we both became involved in the same case a while back, and I was actually forced to learn more about you. You understand that I did not do this for my own enjoyment, although I must admit..." he hesitated, then cringed, "You are not very cautious with what you post online; that was so easy... So yes. It was, at least to some extent, accidental."
"The same case...? Wait, wait, hold on..." Phil resisted the urge to grab his own head in surprise. "Are you... that guy? That hacker or whatever. That tech-savvy guy that disappeared after Hannah was found? No way it’s you… Police say he's dead. That he died during the mine fire."
“I have two pieces of information for you,” the stranger leaned forward conspiratorially and spread his hands. “The first one... I’ve heard you were a good bartender. I somehow can’t picture that, you know?”
Phil looked completely confused as the man rolled his eyes slightly and nodded meaningfully at the soda bottle once more. Gritting his teeth, Phil blindly reached into the fridge, pulled out a bottle, slammed it against the counter, opened it with the agility of a truly experienced bartender, and pushed it towards the man, ending with a jazz hands gesture.
Annoyed jazz hands gesture.
The man only chuckled and nodded in approval, taking a sip of his long-awaited drink.
"And the second thing?" the bartender urged.
“The second thing!” the stranger chuckled. “The second thing is… I don't think you trust the police after all the trouble they caused you, so do you think you should trust them if they say that guy is dead? You’re talking about that Ironsplinter mine fire, correct?”
“Yeah… there was no way he survived that.”
“Oh?” the man chuckled, “I think his chances were quite good, actually.”
Phil frowned, “How so?”
"Well..." the stranger spread his hands again. "I'm not an expert, but I know a thing or two about mines. Actually, I know a lot about many things, but it doesn't matter now... I won't bore you with the details because you probably don't care, but believe me, there are many safety features in mines like that one that can help you survive fire, explosion, shockwaves... It's just a matter of knowing your surroundings well. The amount of air can be a problem during a fire like that, but it can also be remedied. So… maybe he didn't die after all. But what do I know?”
“That's… interesting,” Phil concluded, and the stranger snorted.
The bartender fell silent, analyzing every single word the stranger had said. It was already clear to Phil that he would not tell him anything directly, especially not about himself. The man didn't confirm anything explicitly, but he didn't have to. Phil already knew the answer to his question.
“Alright, I get it… So should I call you Jake, then? That was the name of that techie guy, if I remember correctly.”
“Was it, really?” the stranger smirked. “In that case, you can call me whatever you want, Hawkins. Jake is a name as good as any.”
“Really? Okay then, Techie,” Phil placed his palms on the counter. “You’ve said you owed me… why exactly? Why are you here?” he reiterated, still confused by the stranger’s presence.
Jake paused for a moment, his piercing gaze fixed on the bar owner. Phil was not one to be easily intimidated, but there was something about Jake that made him uneasy yet intrigued at the same time. Was it his unwavering confidence, his carefree attitude, or maybe something else entirely?
“I understand that my visit may seem unnecessary, but I felt compelled to come,” Jake responded, his tone measured and deliberate. “You see, there’s something about you that… let’s say, that doesn’t add up to me.”
“Oh…” the bartender nodded, feeling annoyed and somehow disappointed again. “So you want to accuse me of more things, then? Tell me I should rot in jail, like some other wonderful people?”
“No... nothing like that,” the man chuckled nervously, his dark hair falling onto his forehead. He brushed the locks away with a casual flick of his hand, trying to hide the fact that he was clearly troubled. As he paused to collect his thoughts, his eyes darted around the room. Finally, he spoke again, his voice hesitant and uncertain.
“I know someone anonymously paid your bail, and I may know more about that. I may know a lot about that. And I believe it still bothers you, so I think I should share it with you. And, well… I suppose what I'm trying to say is that this meeting has been weighing heavily on my mind. I've been thinking about it quite often, trying to figure out what to say or… how to say it, and I think I still don’t know… I mean… okay, here's the thing. Do you remember the second person who got involved in this case by accident?” Jake continued, “You… you invited her to Aurora. She never came here, but still, you did, and—”
“The girl? Shit… okay, now I think I get it,” the bartender sighed deeply and nodded, as he couldn’t believe it was that simple. It was always that simple when there were feelings involved. “Don’t tell me… It hit your ego, didn't it? You liked her, right? Did you come to tell me I was not only released from the arrest thanks to you, but they actually arrested me because of you in the first place? You got jealous of that girl, and that's why I had a shitty couple of months? Was it your revenge?”
The stranger shrugged, but his awkward smile said it all.
Guilty as charged.
“Great... so you almost ruined my life over some chick I don't even know?! Only because I invited her here? I did nothing wrong! Couldn't you explain it between you two? You had to get me into this… And you still have the nerve to come to my bar and—”
“No, wait,” the alleged hacker silenced him with a gesture. “I mean… you almost got it right. I do feel guilty you were in that arrest for quite some time, but for a different reason…” the stranger rubbed his neck nervously. “What if… hypothetically, of course, what if I knew right away how to get you out of this? I knew you were innocent and I had proof for that? But... she was so interested in you... and you in her! And I didn't want you to be interested in her… I guess I was just… confused about you. Shit, it doesn't make sense, does it?”
Phil frowned, but slowly the meaning of the stranger's words began to dawn on him. He wasn't after the girl who helped solve the case. Techie was after… him.
He was jealous of… him?
Was that even possible?
He knew he should be angry. Furious even! It was about his life! Countless hours wasted in the arrest he didn’t deserve! Yet, somehow… The guilty look on the stranger’s face made it fade away. He'd be lying if he said he didn't wonder who that mysterious hacker was from back then, or why exactly he was involved in the case. He knew back then that the answers to these questions were just beyond his reach, but now, miraculously, he was sitting in front of him, almost vulnerable and almost exposed. His fascination overcame his anger. The stranger's eyes were full of remorse, and for a moment, he felt a twinge of sympathy.
Sympathy and something else, but he wasn’t sure what it was…
Curiosity!
It had to be just curiosity.
“My, my… So I think you are my stalker, after all…” The bartender hummed, taking two steps away from Jake, but somehow couldn't help but smile.
“No. No, no. Nuh-uh! This statement is definitely not true!” The alleged hacker protested immediately, pointing his finger at Phil as he blushed a bit, his heart pounding in his chest. "I know things about you, and I learned them without your consent, that is correct. Good luck to you with suing me. But I— it’s not my fault. And I didn’t— I wasn’t really— I just wanted to understand you better!" He paused and took a deep breath. "Didn't I help you after all?! You got out, didn’t you? And I am not a stalker! Jesus, I think I need a real drink… " he trailed off.
The bartender was taken aback by the unexpected outburst and blinked a couple of times in confusion. However, he soon burst out laughing, unable to hold it any longer. "Wow, you really lost your cool there, man… You’ve just admitted to some weird things…" he said between chuckles, "I didn’t think it was possible! In fact, you sound exactly like a stalker trying to explain himself, you know." The bartender knew his mocking tone only made the situation more awkward and uncomfortable for the stranger.
“Yeah.. Coming here was a mistake, I guess…” Jake scoffed, grabbed his backpack, and was about to jump off the stool and leave the pub, but Phil, without thinking too much, grabbed his forearm. The stranger winced in surprise, but as his dark eyes met the calm eyes of the bartender, he slowly sat back down.
“Alright, okay. You’re not my stalker, yeah?” Phil smiled,letting go of his arm, “But I think you still owe me more explanation. Fair?”
“F-fair,” the stranger muttered.
To Phil's surprise, Jake leaned forward from his stool and across the counter, invading the bartender's personal space as if it was absolutely nothing unusual. The stranger's arm accidentally grazed Phil's shoulder as he gently pushed him away and reached for a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from behind the bar. Before Phil could even register what was going on, the stranger was already sitting back on his stool, pouring the liquor generously into the glasses.
“I… thought you said you don’t drink,” Phil observed, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah. And I thought you were a self-absorbed, narcissistic, brainless drama queen, and yet here we are, engaging in a somewhat intelligent conversation. How about that?”
Phil chuckled, a bit taken aback, as he watched Jake down his drink in one swift motion, followed by a wince and quiet grunt. With a solid tap, the stranger placed the glass back on the counter, exhaling audibly.
“That’s some terrible whiskey, Hawkins,” he admitted, reaching for the bottle to pour himself another.
“It’s my finest one, Techie,” Phil smirked, “And the most expensive one, too.”
“Still quite terrible, for my sophisticated taste… And don't call me Techie.”
“Then don't call me by my father's stupid name.”
Jake blinked a couple of times, as if realizing something. “Right. I forgot he was an asshole, too. Bigger than you.”
“You forgot— oh, Jesus…” the bartender whined, “Don't tell me you even know about my father? I didn’t post anything about that online… How the fuck? How much do you exactly know about me, Stalker?”
“Again with the stalker…” the hacker poked Phil’s chest with his finger, “Listen, the thing about your father is quite well-known around town, isn't it? It's not that weird that even I know about it… and I didn't have to dig too deep to—”
“Damn it, Stalker.” Phil shook his head in disbelief, “You're a walking red flag. I should have thrown you out as soon as you came here. Why am I even still talking to you?”
“Oh, come on, I've never— I am not that bad.”
“Any other sane person would have handed you over to the police a long time ago, Stalker. You do realize that, don’t you?” Phil finally took the glass into his hand and sipped his whiskey.
“But you won’t do that,” the stranger smiled as he clinked his glass with Phil’s, “You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?”
“That's very possible. So what do you think about me, then? Besides that I’m a brainless douche, that is…”
The bartender's question lingered in the air for a few seconds before Jake spoke up. His voice was clear and confident, matching the intensity of his gaze, "I have a couple of thoughts, actually," he said, pausing for dramatic effect, taking a sip of his whiskey as well, "Ready? First and foremost, I think that you have an overinflated sense of self-importance," Jake's tone was stern but not unfriendly, "Secondly, you have a habit of getting under my skin. I can't explain it, but something about the way you carry yourself and the things you say just... irks me, but that much you already know. It's like you're actually trying to push my buttons or something!" He shook his head in frustration. "And finally, I think you may be a ginormous asshole, but you're also… intriguing in a way that I don't—don't quite understand." Jake paused once more, letting his words sink in. Then he, once again, angrily poked Phil’s chest with his finger, "And I don't like it. Not. One. Bit.”
“Oh? And you’re very weird, Stalker. You know that, right?” A little pissed off by the stranger's behavior, Phil grabbed Jake's hand and moved it away from his chest, but didn't let it go afterward. Suddenly, he felt a strange warmth spreading throughout his whole body, an electrifying feeling caused by the touch of the hacker's skin on his own. The stranger looked straight at him, his big, dark eyes almost like they were trying to read his soul. The expression on his face reminded Phil of a deer in the headlights and it definitely didn't help him with getting rid of the hacker.
As Phil slowly released his hand, the silence between them engulfed them both. Jake’s Breathing became heavier, and his cheeks, once pale, now glowed with a blush.
The bartender rested his elbows on the counter right next to him. Close enough to feel the slight touch of fabric of Jake's hoodie on his skin. The stranger's earlier confidence seemed to have disappeared, and the bartender couldn't tell whether it was the alcohol or Jake's confessions that had caused this change.
After a brief moment of silence, the stranger spoke up, "I'm sorry," he said, leaning forward slightly.
The bartender furrowed his brows. "What exactly are you sorry for? Because I could name a few things now..."
The hacker smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, "I didn't mean to be annoying, "he admitted, his hand idly drifting towards the bottle of whiskey on the counter. He rested his hand on it but refrained from lifting it. “I'm not exactly a people person, you see. I just… I wanted to get you out of my head. It didn’t quite work out as I expected…”
Feeling the weight of the moment, Phil gently placed his hand on the whiskey bottle, his fingers brushing against Jake's. The hacker hesitated, his gaze locked onto Phil's intense stare.
In a soft, almost whispered voice, Phil spoke, "Easy there. You're not much of a drinker, and if there's something you want from me, I want you to be clear-headed enough to ask for it. You're already a puzzle without the alcohol. Stick to your soda, Stalker."
Jake's eyes shifted from Phil's to the bottle, as if contemplating its significance.
After a moment of reflection, Phil continued, his voice measured, "Alright, let's lay it out. You're quiet, so let me see if I understand correctly..." He released his grip on the bottle, meeting Jake's gaze with a steady intensity. "You're suggesting that I'm getting under your skin, but I'd argue otherwise. I have a feeling you actually like me, and you're just not sure how to handle it. That’s your dilemma, Techie.”
"Wow, okay. If what you're saying would even be true," Jake said dismissively, "Would that even be a problem? Like, you know… my problem?”
Phil leaned in closer to Jake once more, a small smile forming on his lips. His fingers traced the hem of the stranger's sleeve playfully as he leaned forward more, "Well, we could always make it my problem, too," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper, “Because, believe it or not, you somehow… fascinate me, too.”
“Oh?”
"Don't get me wrong... You obviously have issues, and I have a feeling your mere presence means trouble. But, the thing is, I don't mind trouble. Life’s boring without it, right? And maybe I should keep an eye on you… to stop you from stalking me further. So… which is it? Do you like me or hate me?"
Jake’s dark hair fell across his face, but Phil could still see the glint in his eyes, "I still can’t decide… Can I say it's both?"
Phil’s smirk grew wider, “It never happens, you know. People either love me or hate me. But you…” he shook his head, “You’re different.”
“Is that a compliment? Are you telling me I’m special? It could be good and bad, you know…” Jake chuckled as he playfully pushed him away, his hand lingering on his chest a little too long.
Then Phil realized he was somehow already long gone... The stranger had managed to wrap the bartender around his finger without him even noticing. The mischievous twinkle in Jake's dark, deep eyes was impossible to resist, drawing Phil towards him like two black holes. Phil found himself powerless to resist the pull, feeling as though he had absolutely nowhere to run.
“What?” Jake asked, noticing Phil was staring at him without saying a word, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I have an idea how to help you with your dilemma. Can I… check something?” Phil tilted his “Um, what exact—” Jake wanted to ask, but he didn’t get to finish his question.
Phil was tired of guessing. He sighed, taking the stranger’s face into his hands, his fingers gently entwining with the strands of Jake's dark, tousled hair. As he leaned in, his heart raced, and he could feel the warmth of the hacker's breath on his lips. Yet, to his surprise, Jake tensed up, his eyes widening in a mixture of anticipation and uncertainty. Phil's fingers tightened slightly on Jake's hair, reassuring and firm.
Their kiss was soft, almost tentative, their lips barely grazing each other's. Yet, Phil's tongue slowly found its way into Jake's mouth, and the man welcomed it with a quiet sigh.
That was it. That was what Phil wanted to achieve.
Phil couldn't suppress a chuckle as the taste of whiskey lingered on Stranger's lips, a soft, breathless sound passing between them. He felt Jake's hesitant smile against his own,a silent acknowledgment that he finally realized what it was all about.
The bartender was suddenly glad that there was a bar counter between them, otherwise he would have pulled the stranger much closer.
“Shit… you really did that,” Jake mumbled as they broke the kiss, but they stayed close, “And you know what’s worse? Fuck, Hawkins, I think I liked that…”
Phil's lips curved into a smirk, his voice low and hoarse as he looked deep into the Stranger’s eyes that no longer felt strange to him, “Liked it, eh? Well, well, well... Seems like we've stumbled upon something interesting here.”
Jake exhaled, his reddened lips still curled into a smile, “Don’t get any ideas, Hawkins…”
The stranger leaned back a bit as Phil’s hands let go of his hair. Then he playfully tugged at Phil's t-shirt, the fabric stretching slightly as he did so.
Suddenly, the watch on the stranger's hand emitted a high, short beep, interrupting the moment. Jake’s expression changed immediately as he glanced at the device. He sighed heavily in frustration, and without any explanation, moved away from the bartender, hopped off the stool, and grabbed his backpack.
Phil was left quite confused. He quickly jumped out from behind the bar and grabbed the stranger's arm, wanting at least some sort of explanation, “Hey, whoa… What is it?”
"I have to go. I'm sorry,” the stranger said quickly, his tone tinged with regret.
"Wha— Why?" Phil asked, his grip on the stranger's arm tightening, “Is it because we–”
"No," he replied with a slight smile. "I don’t really want to go. But it doesn’t matter. You wouldn't believe me anyway."
Phil's brows furrowed in confusion. "So.. you're just leaving me like that? After we–" he scoffed. "Will I… will I even see you again?"
The stranger paused, a thoughtful expression crossing his features. Then, he smiled slowly, his fingers lightly tugging at the hem of Phil's shirt once more. "Even if I wanted to come back here, which I do not confirm at all," he said, his voice teasing, "I would… probably come here tomorrow, same time. Purely hypothetically, of course. We could… get to know each other better. Properly. Without any hint of stalking."
Phil's heart skipped a beat at the prospect. He needed to see him again.
"Is that so, Stalker?" Phil said, grinning, “You mean I could get to know you better. You already know all about me, right?”
The hacker snorted, “Oh, come on, I thought we’re past it…”
“But I don’t want you to go,” the bartender admitted, his voice softer.
The stranger smiled in a way that made Phil’s head spin, “Too bad, Drama Queen. I’m already gone.”
“Well then, Techie. I’ll be thinking about our next, hypothetical meeting.”
A snort of amusement escaped Jake's lips, but his eyes betrayed his hesitation as he held Phil's gaze, “See you never. I demand coffee next time. And maybe some better whiskey…”
At that moment, it seemed like the hacker wanted to say or do something, but he only managed to muster a frustrated grunt. He shook his head, allowing his dark curls to tumble with the motion, and reluctantly, after a couple of long, long seconds, he finally let go of Phil's shirt. A sly smile then crept across his face, a spark in his eyes that made Phil's heart skip a beat. Despite his temptation to keep the stranger with him for even just a bit longer, Phil grudgingly let him leave.
With a final glance, the stranger turned on his heels and strode out of the pub, disappearing into the night.
#duskwood#duskwood fanfiction#duskwood fanfic#duskwood phil#duskwood jake#fanfiction#phil hawkins#jail#jake x phil#itsnotzka#iamjake
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hi ^^
I'm finally more concretely baaaack!! & I finally found time to properly dedicate to your amazing work!!
how are u doing? summer basically finishing so I hope you'll enter last days of summer/early autumn well rested, healthy & w/ no regrets <333
I finally caught up to Abundance & i'm soooo happyyy, i've missed this fic soo much xd
every ch left me w/ so many thoughts, sooo much excitement & just an overall sense of satisfaction at how smooth & rewarding your writing style & narration style are!
so i may ramble a lil bit abt it now if u don't mind XD (u don't have to read all of it or reply btw, no pressure ;D )
1st of all i wanna recognise how usually it's harder to keep tabs on multiple characters, even more if they are all important & heavily involved in the plot (esp in ff that are poly or w/ multiple different kinds of relationships & relations between characters ) but you've done nothing but a great job at handling this! each character gets their time, their moments, their own space & pace for development & involvement in the plot & it all feels very balanced!
definetely not in order '^^
i also wanna scream at the idea of the pack-mark?? i thought i loved already the hybrid concept but this just elevated it o the next level! & the difference in the mark being platonic or romantic & it being also different from the concept of mate-mark?? i can't wait to see how this puzzle piece fits into the canines arrangement in the future
returning to the 1st point, to strenghten my love w/ your writing style there's also the way u write the mc!! istg i'm this close to start crushing on her instead lmaoo. no but the way u wrote her feels way more natural & genuine than an air-head type or a perfect-never-makes-mistakes literal angel type, she feels like an actual proper developed character that is human & obvi makes mistakes but that is also a good person that has a pretty strong sense of responsability/duty, is very mature & level headed (finally an mc that doesn't behave/think like a 12 y.o lmao). i love how even tho she still learning & doesn't know everything already, she always tries to take the better choice either based on her judgement or by seeking to learn more abt the hybrids by asking them directly, w/out shame or fear to ask them abt themselves & hybrids in general.
wrds cannot emphasize enough how grateful i am that she’s not simply just flustered all the time & getting ping-ponged by the guys, she is her own person 1st & takes srsly her own responsibilities & actually wants to treat them as just any other human person while also accommodating & recognising their diff hybrid needs instead of just being all a condescending “omg, they’r so hot, omg their so cute” all the time. she wants to learn & respect their natural instincts & doesn’t fault them 4 having them but also wants them to wrk through the ones that may be harmful to others around them.
onto the last point above, i can't help but appreciate the constant in the story of hybrids not being able to simply wish away their strongest instincts or miraculously gain control over them simply bc of their love 4 mc’s .NO, there is an actual learning curve & episodes of dealing w/ shame,guilt & sense of helplessness, of predators feeling uncomfortable at feeling or having felt certain instincts as their relations w/ the preys change & evolve( as an example)
but at the same time in the build up of the story, the hybrids instincts are never used as plot device to excuse/justify actions that cross the limit (incidents/hybrid on hybrid crimes, agression, violence & the fact that even tho jin & jk were in rut/pre-rut, they were still adamant abt respecting mc boundaries & consent & not " get their way" & simply blame it on “instinct”bs .-. that was refreshing to see lmao)
in your wrld building, i really love how u handled the characterisation of the roles of prey & predator in hybrids & didn't go w/ just usual/easier expected stereotypical depictions. even tho there’s a difference between predators & prey, they still clearly have a consciousness & an important inner emotional reaction at seeing 1st person the reality of prey hybrids, they’s not just animals & they’s not just jerks/assholes, they are actual ppl that had each their own struggles, traumas & lessons & that up until now where only used to relying on their pack to survive or themselves (case of rogues etc) & drive off anybody else to stay safe but not all of them would go out of their way to hurt prey hybrids, it depends on the personal level & not all of them will be swayed off their feet & fall head over heels for the 1st prey hybrid they interact w/, w/out even getting to know them & later trust them & develop normally a closeness to them.
talking abt trust...
after the nth hurt, esp the predators(namjoon,jimin) have learned to surround themselves w/ walls & to not get attached easily & it’s very interesting to see their different inner fights in trying to let go of that while also struggling w/ the need to still feel safe & in control, 2 things that ‘till now they got by keeping to themselves & to their packs.
& although there have been multiple instances in which nj starting doubting mc or started feeling that safety slip away & started pulling back, or jimin & the others were in denial to their own feelings & pull to get closer to other hybrids outside of the pack & lower their guard, after a pretty difficult process & many mistakes it’s slowly starting to happen!! at a pace that i’m sooooo glad u actually took time & effort to develop in a way that feels very natural & curated! i’m sure that it’s not easy to write like this at all & every ch is different & sometimes the wrds don’t feel right or they don’t come etc but i’m just so incredibly happy that u continued to persevere through that in this fic bc the results are a damn masterpiece!!
ALSO,TESTIMONY TO YOUR SHARP & AMAZING WRITING SKILLS:
i nearly lost my mind at your description of nj inner turmoil w/ primary colours(blue & yellow) that clash & then merge into his confused uncomfortable state (murky green) . i literally kept re-reading that part bc it was just sooo pretty 😭
...tumblr doesn't have yellow so let's just pretend XD
& the subtle hints & nj fear of repeated rejection? i’m not sure if maybe i’m interpreting it wrong & it’s not smth that he already had to deal in the past but i’m looking forward regardless.
& the way no part of the plot gets neglected?? hello? bc while all of this is going on w/ the hybrids, mc’s life outside of this bubble is taking turn after turn w/ her wrk & it’s getting sooo interesting,soo intriguing w/ all the dots connecting & the mystery getting bigger & more rabbit-holey😍😍😍
& can i just say that i never trusted hajoon from the beginning?!!! his reaction to mc saying they don’t investigate money laundering bc it’s more of a “officer/investigator” job & him finding it amusing almost like he knows she’s technically already doing that w/ the other company but she just confirmed that the law firm can’t find the necessary info by themselves so other ppl get involved like investigators & informants …. & then the overlap of the 2 cases?? the cliffhanger?? the 3 names popping up again?? & she might have fallen into a trap & just fed hajoon the ones that might have worked w/ her to testimony against the shady company involved in hybrid trafficking... or actually hajoon found a way to frame those 3 to make it harder 4 their testimony to be believable in case they get involved to help mc w/ her case against Lim's. or maybe it's smth else entirely & i'm off my rails XD
we still don't know that much abt hajoon or mc's informant & there's always the possibility of a mole being at the law firm, maybe even somebody that knows mc closely, doesn't attract much attention & regularly looks through files,appointments & schedules😳 now i'm just freely speculating off my head XD
lastly bc i don't wanna exaggerate w/ the walls of rambling (might be too late tho so srry abt that😅), i'm absolutely knees deep infatuated w/ the little details/quirks/facets of personality u give each hybrid:
namjoon's intimidating edge being softened thanks to his clumsiness & puppy-like moments, jin's softer & more attentive way of subtly asserting his role as alpha/hyung, tae's simple often straightforward natural sweetness & inclination of being curious & playful, hobi's unexpected strenght & comforting sweet personality that often acts as a damper in intense moments, jk's perseverance towards more indipendency & his struggles w/ self-worth, jimin's stark contrast between how he carries himself in front of others & his own inner insecurities & fears of abandonment, yoongi's new perspective on love & it simply adding up not substracting at admitting his crush on jin & helping jimin accept his own changes in his emotions & feelings toward the other hybrids.
i have soooo many more but i don't wanna push it😫
in the end i just hope u had lots of fun & feel proud of how this series is turning out! obvi as always no pressure & make sure to take your time & continue writing when & as long as it feels right^^
hello!! thank you so much, i'm doing well 🥺 i hope the beginning of autumn is treating you well too! i'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this ask but the truth was that i didn't want to share it just yet, lol 😭 this ask arrived in my inbox just as i was trying (and failing) to begin writing for abundance again. i kept psyching myself out, thinking that my break had been too long and i wouldn't be able to capture the essence of the characters anymore – so what was even the use of trying if i was only going to fail? but then this popped into my inbox and it just made me feel so.. seen. you pointed out and acknowledged so many aspects of the story that i love and feel proud of, and it was truly the boost i needed. i've been coming back to this almost every day as i've been writing, so i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart 💖💖
i will say that having eight main characters is a puzzle that doesn't always line up, but i do try my best to make up for it whenever i can! if a character isn't very prominent in one ch, it's likely that they'll get more attention in the next or that i'm "saving" them for a bigger scene that needs more build up. but i'm glad you think i'm going a good job at juggling all of them, tysm :')
i always try to think of ways to add a little something extra to my stories, something that makes it feel like it's not just a direct copy of every other fic in that trope. dividing the boys into predator/prey packs and giving them different marks (platonic/romantic) was such a 'simple' but effective way of introducing a lot of drama and conflict into the story. i'm a slow burn girlie at the end of the day and i knew that the pay off of all of the packs becoming one would be that much sweeter if they actually started off truly disliking each other and not just becoming lovey dovey after two chapters.
i'm honestly so ecstatic that you love the MC so much, that makes me so happy!! it's taken some trial and error, but i've tried my best to create a MC/reader that makes realistic choices and is someone that the majority might be able to see themselves in. she's not perfect, she makes mistakes and she feels horrible when she does, but she also tries to fix things when she messes up and doesn't just expect them to work out on their own. it just doesn't make sense to have an MC that knows everything about hybrids when she's never owned one before (or really had any interest in them) so part of the challenge for her is to actually learn about their needs in relation to who they are as people and not just assume that she knows best because she's fully human.
thank you!! i've really tried to balance the human and animal part of them as much as possible in this fic. they may have instincts and knee-jerk reactions to situations that are fueled by their animal DNA but that doesn't mean that their human brain completely checks out. it was important to me to show that much like the MC, hybrids can have prejudice too, and that they can learn & grow over time. i'm so happy that you pointed out the fact that their instincts are never used to excuse their actions – that was one thing i didn't want to happen. like i said, they're just as much human as they are animal, so it's not a valid reason for them to ignore morals or boundaries.
yes! i didn't just want to slap a predator label on some of them and go "okay, you guys are scary and mean" and make the preys meek and docile for the entire story. they still have individuality and personality regardless of if they're classified as predator or prey. they have all had different experiences that have shaped them into who they are but that doesn't make them heartless or incapable of change. the predators have never noticed how much their biology affects prey hybrids until they met jinkook, so it makes sense that their guilt would eventually catch up with them when they stop thinking of the preys as competition that needs to be eliminated.
trust is a big part of this fic and it manifests in so many different ways! they're all finally beginning to open up and understand that they're safe, and i think it's especially satifisfying to see namjoon and jimin finally let their walls down :') there were times that i was worried i was going to slow but i really do think that this pace was necessary - there was just too much that needed to be unpacked and adressed for it to happen any sooner. and no, it has definitely not been easy, but it does feel more than worth it when i get such a lovely review as this 😭
i'm so happy you pointed out that scene with joon, bc i really liked using the colours to represent his emotions!! and you're not interpreting it wrong, it's definitely a big fear for him!
i know that most readers are only here for the boys and not so much the mc's work, but i really do think it adds to the story! there are some connections coming up that have been slowly been hinted at throughout the story so far, so i'm excited for that to come together soon. hajoon is very sus and you're right in not trusting him 🙈 i'm not going to say what it is exactly, but you are indeed on to something regarding the case 👀
i can't have my babies be one-dimensional! i put a lot of thought into making sure that each character had its own strengths and weaknesses and how that would affect them in different ways. truly, thank you so much for recognizing all of the hard work i've put into developing the story and the characters, it means more than you know 😭
i cannot thank you enough for leaving me such an incredible review/comment, it has made me cry (happy tears!) every time i've looked at it and it has helped me remember all of the things i loved about writing the story. i'm truly so so grateful 💖💖💖
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