#if any one is wondering for any of the other 100% decided orientations:

[creaturefeaster]

Wire... what's Elliot's sexuality..?

that man is GAY!!

[rey-129-fan]

Gotham-Amity Co-op AU Part 3

Part 1 | Previous | Next

“Hola beauties, and welcome back to Fashionable History, I’m Paulina,”

“And I’m Star, and on this channel, we teach you how to be at the height of fashion, no matter what time period you find yourself in.”

“Now for our long-time viewers who missed our community posts, you might be wondering about the change in location.  Well, we are moving up in the world.  That’s right, fam, we are officially-

“College girlies!” The two shouted into the camera.

“Ah, such a big step,” ‘Star’ sighed.

“Indeed it is.  And to celebrate, let us dress up like we’re going to meet the queen of fashion herself: Marie Antoinette!”

***

“So you would think it would be hard to demonstrate Amity Park’s weirdness while no longer living there, but you would be wrong,” a black man said into the camera while walking down a hallway, his glasses fallen ever so slightly down his nose.  There were voices in the background progressively getting louder.  “You see, Danny’s mentor popped by this morning, and apparently, he decided that the perfect way to tutor Danny and piss off his bosses at the same time was to allow a bunch of college kids to summon a historical figure of their choosing to discuss their area of expertise.  Once a week.

“Jazz got to go first.”

The black man stopped in a doorway.  Much clearer in the background was a woman’s even voice.  “And Jazz, being the future psychologist that she is, picked the most sex-obsessed man in history.”

The camera flipped to show a young red-head sitting across an older man with a white beard in a blue three piece suit.  In the background was a younger man, his blue eyes glazed over as he sat there sipping from his mug, his head of black hair bobbing as he fought to stay awake.  Really, it wouldn’t gather a second glance, except for the tiny detail that the older man’s skin was as green as a sunburnt person’s was red.

“-indeed homosexuality is not an illness, and in fact the only link between it and mental health has been observed to be caused by familial and community reactions.”

“That is good to hear.  Indeed, many people throughout history were homosexual, and a lot of them did not show any other signs of mental illnesses.”

“It is.  However, with the recent pushes for public acceptance of those not heterosexual, many have come forward with sexual orientations beyond just hetero and homosexuality, including those that are attracted to both men and women at the same time, as well as those who experience no sexual attraction or are completely repulsed by the idea of anything sexual.”

The camera flipped back to the first man.  “She is explaining how psychology has developed in the last 100 years without trying to rip apart Freud’s work.

“This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened.  Occasionally, we’d get guest speakers that would turn out to be some famous author or pioneer in their field.  It’s how our English teacher got his copy of the Tempest signed by the original author.  I think this might be the first one that won’t end in a raid by government idiots in white, though.

“So yeah, we occasionally get to talk to dead celebrities and don’t bat an eye at it.  Amity Park is very weird.”

***

“Danny!  You left your cups in the sink again!”

“How can you tell it’s mine?”

“They’re glowing green and you’re the only one that drinks ectoplasm!  Now take care of them before you bring the food to life again!”

“Fine…”

The camera pans over to a goth woman giving the camera a flat look.  On screen, there’s some text that reads: ‘When your boyfriend forgets to clean off his dishes after his mildly radioactive smoothies.’

***

“Urgh!” Just die you stupid, lazy skeleton!”

“How long is this attack going to be!”

“I don’t care, because when it’s finally my turn, I am going to stab the dust out of this depressed sack of bones!”

On screen was a couch, and on that couch sat 3 young adults, two women and one man.  One of the women was Valarie Gray, US National Taekwondo Silver Medalist, was jabbing her thumb down on the d-pad of her controller, lips pulled back in a snarl.  The other was Samantha Manson, more known for the TikTok channel Our Strange Lives.  The man was a muscular blond.  All three were focusing on the screen, their eyes emitting faint light and Valarie’s teeth seemed to be getting sharper.

Quietly a blond woman walked on screen, a backpack slung over her shoulder.  The woman was Star Strong from Fashionable History.

“You guys are still streaming?”

“This boss is stupid difficult and Manson and Gray are the only ones willing to play.”

“What happened to the guys?”

“Fowley, Wes, Singh all had work.  Fenton got to the first boss and then lost it because ‘Goat Mom just wanted to protect us’ before getting a call from his lil sis asking for help.  Kwan is working on a lab with a guy from his chem class, and Kyle passed out a couple hours ago.”

“Stop dodging!”

“Wanna play?”

“Can’t.  Going to the library to study for a calc exam I have coming up.  See you guys later.”

“Later.”

“FUC-”

***

“And so, with this polaroid image, we have evidence to prove that-”

“Hey, Wes, do you have something I can use for a collage?  Oh sweet, thanks bro!”

“What?  No!  Kyle!  Get back with that! That was the proof I was going to use to prove the existence of Yetis!”

“Oh damn.  This is some nice creature work!  Danny, your friend has an incredible costume, man!”

“Thanks, Kyle!  I’ll pass it on!”

***

Tim paused the video right as Wesley Weston stood to chase his older brother.

There.

The red-head’s eyes had a slight glow to them.  Tim clicked over to the other images he had gathered of the Amity Park teens, all with their eyes glowing or other signs of something inhuman.

Tim had been introduced to this group by Stephanie when she found a martial arts demonstration Gray did that involved breaking multiple boards, all several feet above her head.  Stephanie had meant it as a ‘check out his cool person doing what we’re doing,’ but Tim noticed something.  All the boards were being held by seemingly the same person- or at least people dressed very similarly.  And not in a way where they’re sitting on a ledge above Gray and are switching out the board each time she broke one.  More that there were multiple companies of the same white glove all holding a board and all floating several feet above where they should have been.  That was already a little weird, but it could’ve been some special effects or just a uniform.

No, what caught Tim’s attention was the quick glimpse of the face of one of the board holders.  It was youthful- late teens- but with paper white hair that showed no signs of bleaching.  Now these features would have been a thing to cement the mysterious person in Tim’s mind.  But it wasn’t that.

No, what got Tim to do some digging to find out about a previously unknown supposed hero from a small town that has been blacked-out by the US government, was his eyes.

His calm, glowing Lazarus green eyes.

***

So we finally get a taste for the shenanigans our liminals are up to. Sam, Tucker, and Danny all share a TikTok where they show off how weird the other two are and how weird their town is. Wes is trying to prove cryptids exist, which Kyle ruins. Dash has a gaming stream that most often Kwan joins in on, and Paulina and Star do dress history. Oh, and Valarie is a national taekwondo because karate has only been an event for one Olympic games, but taekwondo has been an event since 2000 and Val seems more like a kicker than a thrower. Plus, I actually took taekwondo when I was younger.

We do get another Bat showing up at the end. There is absolutely no plot, however, so who knows where this is going. Certainly not me!

I'm still looking for names (please, I need them). As for majors:

Jazz-Psych (obviously)

Kyle- Liberal Arts (I wanna put him in accounting, but Liberal Arts works for now)

Tuck- Comp Sci

Danny- Poly Sci, minor in Astronomy

Sam- Double Poly Sci and Environmental Science

Val- Criminal Justice

Dash- Undecided (both me and him)

Kwan- Pre-Med for now, though he wants to do Child Development/Education

Paulina- Fashion Marketing

Star- Sports Science

Mikey- Music

Wes- Journalism

[therealcocoshady]

Could you make a one shot where Marshall x Reader have been dating for almost 2 years, they start talking about kids and the thought of reader pregnant is a big turn on for him.

Author’s Note : Thank you for your request 💕. I hope you enjoy this ! ⭐️

If you like my writing and want to support it, here’s my Ko-Fi (I’m also open for commission. It’s like a request but that way you’re 100% sure I see it fast & indulge you 😉 - rn I have 200+ asks in my Inbox. Also, by commissioning my work, you’re literally helping a struggling neurodivergent student get by !).

Baby talk

You were the first one to be surprised when you felt it. The desire to have kids. You had never been a kid person. You had always found these tiny humans to be terribly underwhelming. To be fair, you didn’t hate them. But you never really understood what all the fuss surrounding babies was. Puppies ? Yes. Kittens ? Absolutely. Human babies ? Meh. When you were a kid yourself, you didn’t show an interest in babies and, as far as you could remember, you had never really enjoyed playing with dolls. And growing up, you hadn’t shown more of an interest in the topic of motherhood. Older people had told you you’d change your mind and eventually come to want kids of your own but you doubted it. When you became an adult and got into serious relationships, you had that talk with your partners and you told them you didn’t want to have children. You enjoyed your free time, being able to sleep until noon if you wanted to, the possibility of spending money on silly things like an impromptu girls trip to Vegas or a new handbag instead of diapers and an overpriced daycare. In your mind, it was clear that you weren’t meant to be a mother. You did have a lot of love and admiration for parents around you, but you didn’t envy them. So you built a child free life that was absolutely wonderful. Sure, it hurt a bit when your previous partner ended up breaking up with you because he changed his mind about kids and you didn’t. But you understood his decision and knew it was the right thing to do, rather than forcing yourself to have kids when you did not have any actual desire for it. You didn’t want to force yourself to live a life that did not resemble you, taking the risk of one day resenting the children you never wanted to raise in the first place. It all worked out in the end : your ex went on to marry a woman who, from what you heard, was wonderful and have a kid with her, and you ended up meeting the love of your life. 

Marshall was everything you hoped to find in a partner. He was kind, funny, thoughtful, knowledgeable on a lot of subjects and handsome. Yes, he was older than you, but he was definitely young at heart. If anything, you benefited from his experience in life. Also, him being older and having three grown-up children meant that he was « done with all of that », which was a relief. The feeling was mutual, his lack of desire for more kids having caused a couple of breakups for him as well. But just because the two of you decided not to have babies didn’t mean you didn’t have your hands full with them. Marshall was a loving uncle to his brother’s three kids and you were entering that stage of your life where all your friends were starting families. So whether it was a birthday party, a basketball game, a recital or a baby shower… you had your share of kid-related activities. You liked it though. More than you ever thought you would. Marshall being very family-oriented, he loved that you were involved with his family. Together, you built a perfect life. You had all the fun that came with being around kids, without the obligations. You were the fun aunt and uncle, who enjoyed spoiling other people’s kids rotten and playing with them, before happily handing them back to their parents and letting them handle the sugar crash and the noise caused by the toys you bought them. You thought you’d spend the rest of your life just like this, perfectly content, enjoying a peaceful existence with your boyfriend, with whom you would eventually grow old. 

But then, without seeing it coming, you found yourself thinking about it. Wondering how you would look like with a baby bump. Pregnant ladies had always looked like aliens to you, but you started thinking you’d actually be cute, carrying a little baby. Marshall’s baby. A baby with the cutest nose, pouty lips and the most beautiful blue eyes. The thought of a baby that would be part you part Marshall had your heart melt. And you knew he’d be such a good baby daddy, too. Obviously, he had raised three amazing daughters he was very proud of, but he was also amazing with other people’s children. He was his nephews’ favorite person in the world and he was so great with your friends’ babies. So you found yourself thinking that, if you got accidentally pregnant, it wouldn’t be the worst thing on earth. Sure, it would be inconvenient, but maybe you’d keep it. Not that it would ever happen anyway, since you were more than diligent with birth control. Then, it turned into thinking about what your life would actually look like with a little one. And you figured that, what you would have found dreadful years ago, maybe wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe you’d crush it as a soccer mom. Maybe there was actually something beautiful in having kids with someone you love, teaching them stuff and watching them grow up. 

Then, one day, it hit you like a ton of bricks. You actually wanted to have kids. With Marshall. You were at the store, doing your weekly shopping. How you ended up in the baby aisle, you weren’t sure. But you found yourself mesmerized by the tiny items of clothing. Eventually, you came to your senses and mentally slapped yourself. You were with a man in his fifties, who already had his kids and did not want more. Now was not the time to change your mind. As if to imprint the thought in your brain, you went and stocked on condoms, buying a fuckton of them. The cashier even threw you a weird glance. You probably looked like you were doing  a comparative study, getting a bit of everything from ribbed ones to flavored ones. Marshall chuckled when he saw them in the bag. 

That’s a lot of condoms, he chortled. 

Yeah, there was some kind of sale, you lied. 

He shrugged it off and promised to put them to good use. You knew he would make good on his word and figured you just needed to have that silly idea banged out of your system. Except that it didn’t work. You went a few months without talking to him about it. But the more time went on, the more you realized you really wanted a baby with this man. You still liked the idea of having a flexible schedule and 9 hours of sleep a night. But you didn’t love it as much as you loved the idea of carrying this man’s offspring. And the more time went on, the harder it was not to talk to him about it. You dreaded this, though. Because you’d been on the receiving end of that conversation. Of not wanting kids and having someone you loved tell you that they wanted to start a family with you, and having to disappoint them and see the heartbreak in their eyes. So you put it off as long as you could. Until one evening, you weren’t able to hold yourself. 

I think I want a baby, you blurted out when you walked in the kitchen while Marshall was cooking dinner.

You think you want what, baby ? He asked as he turned to you. Sorry, I didn’t hear you over the noise of that kitchen fan. 

No, I said I-I think I want a baby, you repeated nervously. 

You think you want a baby ? He repeated carefully. 

I mean… yeah, you simply said. 

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. Clearly, you were taking him by surprise. He turned off the fan and the kitchen stove, before walking to you. 

That’s new, he said matter-of-factly. 

Kind of, you admitted. I mean… I’ve been thinking about it for some time now. 

So you don’t think you to have want a baby. You know you want to have one, he pointed out. 

Y-yeah. I’m sorry, you mumbled as you looked down. 

For how long have you thought about it ? He asked. 

I’m not sure, you admitted. Does it matter ? 

I thought you didn’t want to be a mom, he said. That you were perfectly happy with being an aunt. That it was the best of both worlds. That’s what you said. 

I know, you replied. And I meant it. I’m as surprised as you are, really. But then I thought about how I’d react if I got pregnant. And I realized I wouldn’t mind that. Having a baby that’s part you and part me. 

Oh wow, he said as he scratched the back of his head. 

Yeah, you hummed. And I thought it was just something random and that I’d forget about it. But I can’t. And it’s been months now, and I think you have great genes and that our baby would be really cute. And Target has the most adorable baby clothes and I know condoms are cheaper than a college education but there were little bunnies on the pajamas I saw the other day and I also found out that they make baby Jordan sneakers that look like the ones you love and-

You caught yourself rambling and stopped talking. Now, you weren’t making any sense and you were just dumping the whole thing on him. Probably not the best way to go about it. He was staring at you with an amused look on his face. 

I’m sorry, you said will a sad voice. I know you’re done with it. We’ve talked about it and I know it really sucks that I’m changing my mind but I needed to tell you because I’ve been thinking about it a lot and-

Do you plan on letting me speak ? He asked with a smile. 

Yes. Sorry. 

Ok, he chuckled. I have a few questions. Is there a reason why you changed your mind ? 

Well… you, I guess, you shrugged. I mean, I love you, and I see what an amazing father, what a great uncle you are. 

Ok, he said. And, another question : is that something you want ? Or is it something you need ? 

I don’t know, you admitted. I’m really happy with our life just the way it is. I don’t need a baby to be fulfilled and for my life to have meaning. But I can’t stop thinking of how much I’d like a baby with you. 

Ok, he hummed. So… it’s not something you’d break up over ? 

No, you said. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. And I don’t think I want a baby if I can’t have it with you. You’re the reason I want one. Because the baby I have in my mind… he has your eyes, your nose and your smile. 

Meh. Doesn’t sound too cute, he chuckled. If anything, it sounds like an ad for contraception. 

Oh, come on, you giggled. 

But… he ? He asked with a smile. 

Sometimes she, you corrected. I never really wanted kids so I don’t really care, I guess. Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to just dump this whole thing on you… we both know this talk sucks. But I couldn’t really keep it to myself. I needed to tell you. I’m sorry. 

Quit apologizing, babe, he said reassuringly. I’m glad you told me. 

Really ? You asked nervously. 

Of course, he replied. I can tell it hasn’t been easy for you. 

You nodded and he pulled you into his arms before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You closed your eyes and inhaled his scent. You definitely felt lighter after telling him, even though it didn’t really change anything. 

So… can I get back to you on that ? He finally asked. 

Huh ?! You asked as you looked up from his chest.

I think I’m gonna need a bit of time to think about it, he continued. I can’t promise I’ll say yes. But I’ll consider it. 

Wait… seriously ? You asked in shock. 

Isn’t that why you brought it up in the first place ? He mused. 

I don’t know, you said. I guess I mostly expected you to convince me it was a terrible idea. I mean, you’ve broken up with people over that. 

So have you, he pointed out. But it’s you. It’s us. What we have is different. I feel like my family’s complete so I never really wanted to have another kid. But I’m in love with you. And if there’s anyone I’d give it a shot with… it’s you. 

Ok, you said with an emotional smile. 

I’m not saying yes to anything, though, he warned. Don’t get your hopes up. 

But you’re not saying no, you pointed out with a smile. 

I’m not, he agreed. Because even though having kids can be tough… it’s pretty great, too. And I know you’d be a great mom. 

You flashed him a smile and buried your face in his chest.  The simple fact that he was willing to consider it because he loved you filled your heart with joy. 

You didn’t really bring up the topic in the following weeks, but you could see a change in Marshall’s demeanor whenever someone around you talked about kids. You could absolutely tell he was thinking about it. You weren’t too sure what the best way to go about it was. Of course, you were curious to know how he felt about it, what was on his mind. But you didn’t want to be annoying and press him on the matter, so you figured that it was probably better to wait for him to get back to you on that, once his mind was made up. 

Waiting was trying, though. Because in the meantime, you had to watch him interact with countless babies and young children, feeling like your ovaries exploded. Patience is a virtue and that waiting period was definitely an opportunity for you to practice it. Thankfully, it finally came to an end when you came back from work to Marshall waiting for you in the living room, with a bouquet of roses on the table, as well as a paper bag. You greeted him and thanked him for the nice gesture.

What’s the occasion ? You asked. 

Since when do I need a special  occasion to treat my woman to some roses and a present ? He asked back. 

Touché, you giggled. Thank you my love. Can I open the bag ? 

Not yet, he said. I want you to have a look at this first. 

He handed you some papers and you skimmed through it. It was a printing of his schedule for the foreseeable future. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

That’s, erm, fine ? You said, unsure of what he was expecting you to say. 

It’s my schedule, he said. For the next two years. 

I see that, you chuckled. I’m just not sure why you’re showing it to me ? You usually don’t consult me when it comes to your work schedule. 

As you can see, I’ve moved a couple of trips that were already planned, he explained as he pointed to a few dates. Meaning that I’ll be going to LA a little bit more in the upcoming three months. But after that, no more work trips and I put a hold on the performance planning. I’ll stay in Detroit. 

Ok ? You said - still not grasping what he was getting at. That’s nice. But why did you change the schedule ? Is there a specific reason why you need to stay here ? 

Apparently, when you’re trying to have a baby with your woman, it’s better to be in the same city, he grinned. 

You stared at him in shock, your mouth slightly agape. Marshall was smiling from ear to ear. Next thing he knew, you were in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, peppering your face with kisses. 

Oh my God, you said emotionally. Really ? Oh I love you so much, Marshall ! 

I love you too, he hummed. 

I can’t believe it, you whispered. Wait- What’s in the bag ? 

Open it, he chuckled. 

You reached for it and saw it contained a bunch of ovulation prediction kits, pregnancy tests, some folic acid and some lube. 

Apparently, these are the basic essentials for trying to conceive, he commented. 

You’re amazing, you said with the biggest smile on your face. So… we’re doing this ? We’re making a baby ?

If you haven’t changed your mind, yeah, he nodded. 

As a response, you threw yourself in his arms and kissed him passionately. He chuckled into the kiss and cupped your face, staring at you lovingly. 

I’ll give you the cutest baby, you promised. 

I have no doubt, he grinned. 

Do you think I’ll be a pretty pregnant lady ? You mused. 

Are you kidding me ? He asked. God, you’re going to be so hot. The thought of you carrying my baby… You have no idea the things it does to me. 

Oh yeah ? Like what ? You asked defiantly. Show-

Before you had the chance to finish your sentence, Marshall had you pinned to the couch and was grinding against you. It didn’t matter that you were both fully clothed, you could feel his excitement through the fabric. 

I’m gonna fill your pretty pussy, he promised. And I’m gonna make a pretty mama out of you. 

Mmmyes, you whimpered. 

Gonna give you a pretty belly, he continued. I can’t wait to see you carry our child. Can’t wait to start trying. 

When ? You asked pleadingly.  

How about now ?  He whispered in your ear. 

[fanby-fckry]

You know what, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Alastor being aroace is part of the reason he’s so shippable to me.

Before you come at me, check the flag in my pfp; I’m aroace-spec.

Maybe it’s me projecting, maybe it’s because I love exploring relationships through an aroace lens, but goddamn. I ship him more than any other character and every time I do, his aroaceness is a major component in the ship.

Examples below the cut because it’s gonna get long:

📻🍎 || RadioApple:

There are so many versions of this dynamic and I am here for all of them.

We have the pre-canon kinky QPR that I show in UH3. I could talk about that all day, but to summarize:

Aroace x genuinely respectful allo is a dynamic that heals my soul.

Lucifer is less tied down by human constructs like amatonormativity, having never been human himself.

The Devil values consent.

Kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky ca- *I am removed from the stage with a comically large hook*

Then we have the Evil and fucked up QPR dynamic:

And of course, trying to get along for Charlie’s sake and eventually bonding over their shared love of dad jokes and musical theatre, both being violinists (yup, Alastor plays violin too, check the wiki) with niche hobbies/interests (ducks, furby organ) and accidentally winding up in a loving, healthy QPR.

📻🕸️ || RadioDust:

There’s something about an aroace and a sex worker who very rarely falls in love.

Angel would know that Alastor isn’t with him for sex, would know that he values Angel beyond his body.

With greyro Alastor, Angel and Alastor would both be inexperienced with romance, but in wildly different ways. Angel has never had a healthy romantic relationship and therefor tries not to fall in love. Greyro Alastor has probably experienced romantic attraction like less than three times in his 100+ years of existence.

And if Alastor never gains romantic attraction for Angel, that’s a whole other level to the dynamic.

It’s got some great angst potential with Angel wondering if he’s not good enough to love romantically or Alastor feeling guilty or confused as to Why It Hasn’t Happened Yet when he cares for Angel so deeply, and eventually it gets resolved with the two of them accepting that their attractions don’t have to match up for them to love/appreciate/care for each other and they smash the amatonormative relationship hierarchy as queer platonic partners.

Or, Angel’s just totally cool with it from the start because he’s spent decades in the kink scene and has potentially been exposed to more relationship anarchy than Alastor.

Kink and queerness have a great deal of historical and cultural overlap, and that includes aroace queerness. Because Angel’s had way more canon exposure to both, it’s possible he knows more about Alastor’s orientation than Alastor does, and I love the idea of Angel introducing him to terms or just being super chill about not labeling things.

📻♥️ || RadioHusk:

Drawing like 90% from pilot dynamic and headcanon on this. They’re just two old men. They get drunk and cuddle. Alastor is one of the few people who knows Husk can purr and takes advantage of this fact. Alastor considers Husk a friend in a fucked up, possessive way. Husk considers Alastor a pain in the ass, but does care about him on some level.

It’s Fucked Up and Evil QPR: Remix Edition.

And the versions where the author puts them through fanfic couple’s therapy and actually gets them into a healthy point in their relationship? One where Alastor no longer owns Husk’s Soul? *chef’s kiss*

📻🌹 || RadioRose:

For me, personally, this is an exclusively nonsexual, non-romantic ship. They’re besties; they’re QPPs. They’re married for the tax benefits and so that they cannot be forced to testify against each other in court.

Rosie knew Alastor was aroace before he did and rather than sit down and explain it to him, she decided to make ace puns.

📻🖤 || RadioSiren: [edit, context here] RadioFemme

Ok, so this is entirely based on non-canon-compliant Lilith. Or, I guess, non-series-compliant Lilith. More of the old WOG stuff from the pilot era, with a healthy dose of headcanon for flavor.

I love the idea of Lilith and Lucifer having an open marriage; I love the UH3 style polycule dynamic.

Lilith being the original seductress and Alastor being aesthetically but not sexually or romantically attracted to her is very near and dear to my heart.

I’m an aroace with a voice kink who is aesthetically attracted to Lilith and I think Alastor is an aroace with a voice kink who would be aesthetically attracted to Lilith, ok?

📻📺 || RadioStatic:

I’m gonna be real with you, 90% of my interest in RadioStatic is in the one-sided version where Vox is a pathetic little incel simp and Alastor is either oblivious, mildly annoyed, or finds the whole thing hilarious.

Whenever there’s any reciprocation on Alastor’s part, I always imagine it being in a very aroace, very Alastor-esque way. He needs to be get something out of it completely unrelated to sex/romance. And he needs to be manipulative and sadistic in the process.

Whether that something is kink-related, a business transaction, or simply the quality entertainment provided by Vox being a cringefail TV-headed little bitch, I love to see it.

[i-want-all-the-cookies]

The Orange Peel Test

This is the result of scrolling through tiktok and coming across a few "orange peel test" videos. Which then made me begin to wonder how some of the characters would react in these situations. Would they pass the test or fail miserably?

Donald-

If you're with Donald it's because he chose to have you in his life. He has no room or time for anything that's not to be taken seriously, and he obviously does his homework on any venture that he invests himself into. Which, in this case, would result in already knowing the kind of person that you are and what you like and don't like. So much so, that you wouldn't have to request such small favors as peeling an orange from him. Most days, he would have a tray set on the tabletop with an already peeled orange, split nicely into slices, ready for you when you get home. It will be the same concept with him filling up items you are low on, such as your favorite granola or shampoo, to the point that you can't even remember the last time you actually bought more yourself. Now he probably won't ever leave you little notes in the way that his mom did to him as a child, because he would hold that memory too close to his soul to share or give out with anyone else, including you, but he would 100% leave encouraging and love filled notes to his own children if you both ever decide to have any.

Jimmy-

Jimmy would give an immediate little sneer if you asked him to peel your orange. Which would be quickly followed up with him just snatching it out of your hand, and complaining a bit about having to do it, while still actually doing it for you. He would also eat half of it himself as he splits the orange apart slice by slice. His reasoning of course would be that he did the "hard" work, so why shouldn't he have some of the reward? The other half of the orange he would stuff into your mouth mindlessly and not too gently, in a very one slice for him- one slice for you, two slices for him- one for you, etc. Once the orange is all done, he will get up to grab another one, and repeat the process all over again. This will continue until you finally tell him that you're full and don't need any more orange slices.

Wolf-

You can't force Wolf to do anything that he doesn't want to do.(Unless you're Donald haha). So really it's a 50/50 chance for it to go your way if you were to ask him. But luckily for you, the one thing about Wolf that is very much in your favor, is that when he's in one of his more giving moods he doesn't hold himself back from treating those close to him. Such as when he takes out his crew for a whole "order whatever you want" type of feast. So the chances of him peeling your orange is pretty high, even with his volatile nature. Just don't ask him in a cutesy voice or by giving him some sad puppy dog eyes. That shit will end up annoying the hell out of him, and you'll end up watching him as he walks away from you, with nothing to keep you company but that sad unpeeled orange you're still holding in your hand.

Jake-

Now you know damn well that Jake would 100% peel that orange for you. Heck, he would even do it with a big smile on his face. He is one of the most openly family and friend oriented person within the Yeongdeungpo union. So he would not only peel an orange for you, but he would also be the kind of guy who would wake up early in the mornings to warm up the car for you. Just to make sure that the windows aren't frosted over and to have the inside of the car nice and toasty. Making it easier for you to just take off in the mornings to wherever you need to go. AND he would do this unprompted and solely because he wants to and because he's able to.

Forrest-

Most people know Forrest as someone who's a complete asshole. Always trying to prove that he deserves the spot he inherited from Myles as Hyeongshin's school head. And truthfully he has the fist to back it up against most adversaries, so most people just try to stay out of his way. But you're one of the lucky few who has gotten to see a different side of him. Where he has been incredibly thoughtful to those close to him, and how he's even taken into consideration his subordinate's discomfort when making his moves within the Unions dealings. So it should come as no surprise to you that Forrest would have no issues with peeling you an orange. Chances are you wouldn't even need to verbally ask the question. All you would have to do is hold out an orange to him with a pleading look on your face. That alone will have him taking the orange from your outstretched hand, followed by him patiently peeling the rind away from it. Then handing it wordlessly back to you once it's peeled, and leaving to throw away all the discarded peels before you even have the chance to say thank you.

Colton-

Now you all know Colton would be a complete and total simp for whoever he's in a relationship with. And he would be SO ready to peel any oranges for you. And not just oranges either. He'll peel you some bananas or some apples. This guy will even go as far as peeling/cracking your pistachios for you! And in my opinion that's even better than peeling an orange.

[shantalanadevil]

Nick doesn’t hate RWRB, but his management (together with his approval, as he is a grown man), for some reason is trying to make sure some people are left with that impression.

I get that his latest film is orientated to a completely different audience, on whom I assume the team wants to capitalise on, but posting about an officially announced (in the trades) project on your socials is standard. Not doing it makes it more suspicious.

Because that is how some other actors act passive-aggressively when they are not 100% happy with a work decision (a new season of a show or a sequel that they have do contractually). So it’s no wonder some fans get that impression about Nick.

I’ve seen enough in the industry and his team strategy happens quite often (distance from a typecast that isn’t seen as mainstream enough), but I am confused why they decided to go with it.

And fans have the right to ask that question when the project not being announced on one of the two leads socials is queer.

I assume they are waiting to announce whatever he is going to be filming very soon first, like they are seeing it as a more “prestige” step or whatever (yes, this is how most PR and media people plan), but at the same time people are going to notice his silence for another project.

I don’t care that he didn’t attend the GLAAD awards or that he doesn't like social media posts. That doesn’t in any significant way indicate his feelings on RWRB.

But him not announcing a new project on his socials for days (as I am certain at some point there will be something) is a very clear sign on the trajectory his team prefers his projects to be. And people can be vocal about what they think about that.

[dangermousie]

I really loved the first six episodes of AJTL. It feels adult in a way too few cdramas do nowadays. The protagonists are (sometimes sociopathic, weird) adults and the narrative is adult and the humor and darkness are both adult. Now, I don't mean this is some sort of meditation on the human condition like Royal Nirvana or NiF or Three Kingdoms, but the situations and characters are of a nature you wouldn't usually see in youth-oriented stuff nowadays - whether it's the fact that our FL just wants to ML for stud so she can have a baby with good genetics and no family ties or the fact that literally every politician in this is a complete scumbag.

I actually love that our FL isn't just the most terrifying mofo in the narrative full of killers but that she is a bona fide borderline sociopath who has no understanding of boundaries or proper behavior or consent or even any sort of flirtation let alone a deeper feeling. She's been a killer since childhood; what normal does she have? The fact that she's managed to have any sort of emotions left is a miracle.

So her deciding she needs a child because her benefactor told her she should as a dying wish and picking a sperm donor in our ML because he's suitable, all with about as much understanding of relationships as an alien - she doesn't want ML because she fancies him, she doesn't want a child to love. It's basically a weird duty thing. It all makes sense.

It's a wonderful gender reversal, with FL the goal-oriented, robotic psycho and ML going "but wait a minute, feelings, also no way, no how." His realization as to how crazy she is, is something else.

Look how she explains it, as if it's the most logical business transaction - your genetic material is great, you are not married so nobody will be hurt, if you die on this mission you will have someone to carry on your lineage, you are scheming so if a kid takes after you and is scheming, it's good. None of it will seduce a man in the least, let alone anything further. But I think in a way it's a weird mark of respect where she's not trying to lie but put all her cards on the table. But also - it shows how far from normal she is that she doesn't even realize how insane it sounds to anyone. He may be a spy but his life has been pretty different than hers; he's got friends and he had family - he is a fairly functional dude. She doesn't have any relationship, and the closest she had was weird stubs...

Like - she is acting like an alien...

Yeah, I don't think psychotic rose through the ranks assassins are big on consent.

She's bona fide nuts and I love that for once we have an unhinged FL. But one of the things I love so is that you slowly see her melt a little around the edges, if barely, because he keeps treating her as a proper lady however murdery and crazy she gets - she was an assassin and then she was a spy-whore, she's basically never been treated as a proper person instead of a tool, except possibly by the dowager and that was a long time ago. No wonder she gets drawn in - like she did by his decency in that rooftop speech scene. It's such a great reversal!

Like she genuinely doesn't get why he doesn't jump at the offer.

I really do love the ML who'd be the unhinged one in any other drama but here he's the sane one. And also his angry decency is mmmm.

I don't usually have fantasy casts for characters; there are very few exceptions - CGY and LYX for the mains of 2ha, Chen Kun for the ML of Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir, SZE for Prisoner of Beauty (alas), but LYN is on that short list - he's 100% my fan cast for Yuwu's Mo Xi and stuff like this gives me mad MX vibes:

I mean...

Anyway, this drama is awesome!

PS also the way secrets don't get dragged out. ML knows her true identity and we are long moving on to other stuff, hooray!

[kohakhearts]

randomly thinking about pikachu's popularity as a mascot but also like in-universe imagining how many little kids would see ash and pikachu win the world championships and decide that they simply Must have a pikachu. you could take this from the angle of like, ash's championship win indirectly dramatically changes the viridian forest ecosystem and other pikachu habitats, but also, imagine how many young trainers + pikachu partners ash starts encountering on his journeys after that who are all clearly awestruck by him. i like to think he would be like "huh weird we've been battling a lot of pikachu lately" and not make the connection that this is His Impact

i'm OBSESSED with this concept and if i had more time/energy i would have immediately written a fic when you sent this because it's so funny to me but alas :p but i'm seeing this with like...all of the above implications like

ash visiting home sometime down the road and crossing paths with gary or tracey maybe, who is/are currently trying to figure out why there's a sudden influx of rattata in the viridian forest area. ash might even help them investigate a bit, you know, 'cause he's helpful like that. he doesn't get the implications. he hears "pikachu and rattata don't tend to make their homes in the same areas" and thinks the reason rattata are popping up suddenly is just that they've gotten over some territorial difference. "i mean obviously there are still pikachu in the forest - we just fought like three of them!"

so he leaves his friends at the oak laboratory absolutely flabbergasted and moves on. he keeps seeing trainers with pikachu, which is great. they ask for a battle and he obliges and it never even registers to him the starstruck look in those trainers' eyes has anything to do with him. he's just like, yeah my buddy's great, isn't he? your pikachu's great too! keep training! :)

when he hears from misty about all these new gym challengers with pikachu, he doesn't think too much about it. i mean, come on, it's a water-type gym. of course they're gonna bring an electric type. when he hears from brock that his brother said the same thing is happening in pewter city, well, that's just new trainers trying to think outside the box. forrest is probably exaggerating a bit anyway, maybe he's just embarrassed that his rock types got beaten by a pikachu? there are simply no dots to connect

of course, this isn't only happening in kanto, though. he hears from cilan about seeing more pikachu than usual in unova, a concerning trend considering pikachu aren't exactly native to the region. ash figures it's just more visitors from outside regions, like he was. it's so cool to see more people embracing inter-region travel! that's probably the one thing he does know he motivated others to do - i mean, surely being the kanto-native champion of alola would inspire a few trainers out there to tackle far-off leagues of their own? he inspired his friends to do it, so it's only fair that trainers who caught his big championship win on tv might have felt similarly!

except he's got the whole thing wrong, of course. one of his more research-oriented friends (i'm betting sophocles) has absolutely been crunching numbers and can 100% confirm that new trainers taking on the league challenge in most regions are about 20457x more likely to have a pikachu in their active roster this year than any year before. ash doesn't have a response to that one, because he's simply too baffled by the metrics of this study to digest the implications of it. he's really hung up on the idea that somehow sophocles met all these people as opposed to acknowledging the more likely scenario that he hacked into the league's database, because how would he even do that? ash isn't thinking about ethics or anything. he's just wondering how he can meet all these trainers too because he'd really like to battle them all, wow!

so basically, everyone else has figured it out...except for ash. he keeps getting approached by strangers asking him about training methods specific to pikachu, which he has no answer for other than "uhh rubber gloves don't really work i guess?" (and then ofc he'd say something very Ash about how no matter what kind of pokemon you're training you just have to believe in them etc etc) because the thing all those people don't realize is he never set out to train a pikachu in the first place. arguably, his pikachu trained him. and that pikachu? absolutely knows what's going on, and finds it hilarious. but he won't tell ash. he's having fun meeting all these different pikachu, anyway :p

[aroacesigma]

do you have any sigzai hcs (or just hcs about sigma or dazai separately)

you're going to regret asking this . headcanons under the cut cause im gonna feel annoying otherwise . most of them are what i headcanon as happening like post canon in a nice world where everyone is alive and happy lol

sigzais <3

ok so to me they are THE transmasc qpps ever . i might be projecting a little but both dazai and sigma are both so transmasc to me. on one hand you have sigma who wears 10 billion shirt layers and a long ass coat and goes on and on about being an ordinary man, and then on the other hand you have dazai who also wears clothes like that and bandages over his chest

hc sigma as oriented aroace with ???? orientation . hes just very confused . theyre so confused . and dazai as bi aroacespec and not particularly averse to any stuff just doesnt feel the attraction most of the time

poor sigma has spent all this time around fyolai like 'god why the fuck are people like this' and then he meets dazai and is like ohhhhhhh. oh .

when sigma joins the ada (and they will u mark my words) him and dazai end up sharing an apartment

at first dazais excited because maybe he wont be living off horrible cooking

unfortunately sigma also cannot cook for shit . he fucking sucks . legitimately the only thing he can cook is cookies in a packet mix .

sigma is unfortunately going through the same phase that kids of controlling parents go through when they finally get freedom, which is making a bunch of stupid decisions . dazai , being the wonderful boyfriend he is, is encouraging all the dumb decisions because he thinks its funny

most of their dates is just going to cafes because sigma has the worlds most horrendous sweet tooth and sigma has no moral objections to guilt tripping him into it

despite being pretty bad at it themself, sigma has a tendency to hit dazai with a pillow until he takes care of himself

vice versa dazai will be a distracting little bitch and wont stop if he thinks sigma is overworking himself

sigma

he/they sigma is so real to me btw just need everyone to know this . they like messing around with neos as well sometimes i think

even though he's pretty much always tired , isnt really a huge fan of coffee , definitely prefers really fancy tea and energy drinks

decided to run with the whole purple thing cause of his hair , abolutely loves the colour. anything he owns is purple if they can get it .

smiles all happy while listening to music in a way that makes you think its something nice . its not . his only musical requirements are loud and screaming to drown out the Anxiety™

not my headcanon but i saw someone say once that they headcanon that occasionally people get an uncanny valley kinda vibe from looking at him cause of his weird origins and honestly i think thats pretty interesting

very happy to join the ada . not quite as impressed by the paycheck .

like , really not impressed by the paycheck . theyre struggling with the dwindling clothes budget . i can totally see him trying to decide whether he wants dinner or new earrings . and probably picking the earrings .

they get along with everyone at the agency really well . a few people dont really trust him straight up but atsushi and dazai vouching for him shuts that down relatively quickly

he gets along the best with atsushi

they have a friendly rivalry with kunikida . agency productivity going straight up just because those two keep trying to outdo each other

dazai

100% has multiple troll accounts online . he enjoys being a menace . not in the mean way , in the absolutely fucking infuriating kind of way

remained in denial (or more oblivious really) about being trans until he was 16 because he asked chuuya if everyone felt like that one time and chuuya was like well yeah (also trans and stupid)

on a related note (this one is kind of about dazai and chuuya but it still counts) mori was kind of like ohhh teenage boys are so much easier to deal with right ? kouyou decided it was best not to inform him that hrt gives you mood swings .

adhd. adhd. adhd.

hes a candy crush mum . its a problem .

eats everyone at the ada's food . but he doesnt eat the whole thing he'll just take a bite . its high up on kunikidas 'things that make me want to string dazai up by his legs and attach him to a ceiling fan' list

has been known to send 12 yr olds graphic violent death threats after losing to them in video games

he has the music taste of a 14 yr old cishet girl . i will let you decide what that entails .

my deepest apologies for making you read all this but i love them both dearly and i have lots of Thoughts

[advicesuggestions]

Hi!! You can ignore this if you want, it's OK.:) I was just looking for blogs on tumblr that help / advise LGBT people. (don't you know any please?) and I noticed your profile. Can i tell you something? I am desperate :(i'm a girl. I thought I was straight. I've always liked boys. But .. sometimes I ... like actresses. I've always said myself that this doesn't mean I'm bi, that's normal. I just think they're pretty. But .. it has happened to me a few times that .. well, for example, I have one classmate (she is 100% straight) and .. I don't know if I like her, probably yes? I could imagine kissing her, maybe others things, but sex itself probably not? I'm confused. I also tried to do orientation tests and it turned out that I was straight. But it is written somewhere that when somebody takes tests for orientation, he/she is probably not straight. I know I should know this by myself, whether I'm straight or not, .. I'm really confused. please would you help me ?? thank you very much. have a nice day and i hope i don't bother you!

desperate anon :(

Well first and foremost, My apologies for not answering this question when you asked. I didn't forget this, I never had tbh, I just didn't know how to tackle it since I wasn't fully sure of my own sexuality and gender identity at the time. I didn't feel fully qualified to answer this question, But I think I have an answer:

It's a struggle to realize a lot of things all at once. Experiencing and thinking things that tie along with the queer community is a lot to handle, especially if this is the first instance of questioning. Being lgbt or coming to the conclusion of being apart of the lgbt community isn't easy nor going to be easy for you. But, the first battle you'll have to face is questioning your sexuality, what thoughts and feelings are considered to be lgbt? do you actually find the same sex attractive? do you find both attractive? maybe the feelings you feel are platonic and maybe you've never actually felt romantic attraction?

On the rumor of "if you take gay quizzes, you probably are gay", A lot of folks in the lgbt community started off their journey by taking the "am I gay?" quizzes, I certainly did and now i'm a comfortable oriented-aromantic trans-dude. Usually the first step of knowing whether or not you're lgbt is if you take quizzes that simulate common stereotypical lgbt experiences. However, this doesn't mean anyone who takes those quizzes are automatically lgbt. It's all up to you to decide. Being informed of the diversity in the community is wonderful and I absolutely encourage you to delve deeper to (hopefully) find a label you feel comfy with. However, experience is key. You may like something in theory, it doesn't necessarily mean you will enjoy it in practice. Don't be afraid to experiment with your identity if you're willing to make that leap.

Side note: You can find someone attractive but not be attracted to the gender in particular, it's called conventional attraction. There's also a term that I suggest you look up: compulsory heterosexuality. This is a common experience with lesbians and the WLW community.

Another Side note: Romantic and Sexual attraction can go hand and hand but are not necessarily the same thing. You can romantically attracted to someone but not be sexually attracted to them. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for the same sex but not for the opposite sex chances, you could be bisexual with a preference for women. If you notice a similar experience but vice versa, you could be a lesbian. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for anyone regardless of identity, you could be asexual!

Again, this is YOUR experience, YOUR identity, only YOU are allowed to make the calls but never get scared to experiment. In my eyes, that's what the lgbt experience is. Just know that no matter what happens, who you end up loving/dating, you are incredibly welcome and valid in the community. I wish you luck on this journey!!

[Don't feel bad for asking this question. You aren't a bother at all. I hope that this very delayed answer will still provide some use and comfort in this path of yours. If you do ever desire to ask for more advice, feel free to send another ask or even a DM. Good Luck :] ]

-Mod K

[eucalyprhodes]

I am THANKFUL for Spotify

I don’t think we realized how much of a treasure Spotify is. Maybe because opening Spotify is just second nature to us. When we drive, when we’re cleaning the house, when we study, you name it! That little app on your phone with millions (or probably billions?) of music from ANY time in the history. And for only $12.99 per month, you have access to literally every song ever made (I don’t know if this is 100% true, but to me, it feels that way!)

Sometime last year, my husband and I talked about how they don’t make music like they used to anymore. Sure, we don’t hate the music of today, but there’s just something about them that don’t make us feel things like music back then. I must’ve listened to Harry Styles “Grapejuice” and Niki’s “High School in Jakarta” probably close to a hundred times by now, but neither one of those make me feel anything, except for they’re catchy. My husband and I are 90′s babies and that conversation prompted me to look back at one of my old playlists. One that I haven’t listened to for a long time because for the 95% of the time, my playlist (just like most of us now) is filled with what’s popular right now on TikTok (not even radio ...), and social media. I mean, that’s how I figured out “First Class” by Jack Harlow (heard it on tiktok and wondered why on earth does Fergie sounds DIFFERENT). This particular playlist was filled with indie/rock/alternative from mid 2000 like Incubus, MGMT, The Strokes, and oh who can ever forget, Death Cab for Cutie, and I remember listening to this playlist very often during my junior and senior year of college. I began to listen to this playlist much more often since that conversation, being reminded of my life during junior/senior year and even though those years was quite hell-ish if I’m being completely honest, those songs still manage to get me in my feelings much more than when I listen to my current playlist from 2020-present day. I decided since then that I’m not gonna bother listening to any new music anymore. A friend of mine said something that really resonates with me. She doesn’t listen to new music because she already knows what she loves, why bother with the new one? 

So, earlier this year, I started re-organizing my spotify playlist. I created a 2000 indie/alternative, a 2000 pop and any new music is now in my 2015 and up playlist (haven’t listened to that playlist since the year started TBH). 

In making the first two playlists, I searched for top hits from each year. I started from the year that I actually remember listening to songs, which I believe was 1999 and as of today, I just finished adding top songs from 2005. Let me just say how genuinely amazing this process has been for my heart and my soul. I always heard people talk about something that can bring them back to a core memory. It can be food, music, a place, etc. I was never a sentimental person so quite honestly, i never understood that, until these past few days when I revisited some of my favorite songs from 1999-2005. I listened to How Soon is Now by t.A.T.u. and I am reminded of my first day of junior high orientation where I instantly had a crush on this guy who was in charge of my group. I remember him because all the other girls ALSO had a crush on him! He was in student government, super tall, handsome and so nice to us the underclassmen. I was confident that was the best day of my life and when I came home, I turned on the TV and behold! the music video for How Soon is Now was playing on MTV. I remember jamming to that song even though I have no idea what they’re singing and just feeling gleeful because orientation lasts the whole week and I’ll get to see him again for the whole week :) I listened to “Come on Over” by Christina Aguilera and almost BURST UP LAUGHING because that was the song that I had to choreograph a dance with 3 other girls in my 7th grade dance class. Nope, I don’t remember the dance but man, that was a particular memory because for the first time ever, my parents actually allowed me to come over to a classmate’s house. Probably because it was for school purposes but I also remember feeling so cool about it because the other 3 girls were the IT girls. I listened to “If You’re not the One” by Daniel Bedingfield and my memory shot up to a time of heartbreak in freakin 7th grade (teenage years man, it’s heartbreak after heartbreak, it’s brutal). I had liked this boy and I actually knew him even before he transferred to my school because we used to go to the same elementary school. I’d like to think “We go way back” (not really but oh well). I remember one day, after lunch, I saw him walk into our classroom holding hands with a girl and I just realized that I blew my chance of ever telling him I like him.  I came home and watch MTV and sure enough,  If You’re not the One was playing. I just remembered thinking this song sounds so sad and I AM SAD so this must be MY song. Then I listened to Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” and my mind went to the time my aunt, Mama As, called me. I was still living in Indonesia at that time and she would often call us to catch up. I remember watching MTV (I really watched a lot of MTV back then )and my mom handed the phone. “Here, Mama As want to talk to you” “Hi Kezia, what are you doing?” “Hi Mama As, Kezia lagi nonton tv. Mtv nih, ada Avril Lavigne” “Who’s that” “Oh ini penyanyi favorit Kezia sekarang. Dia pop punk gitu deh Ma. Keren deh” “Oh wow. Ya mungkin nanti kalo kamu udah di sini, kamu bisa nonton konser nya dia ya” and I remember feeling so edgy because I listen to Avril Lavigne and my Aunt knows how cool my music taste is. 

And so on and so forth. With each song that I added to the playlist, it just kept bringing me back to many memories. The good ones, the bad ones, the cringy ones (I think at some point, I dedicated “Flying without Wings” in the school radio to the boy I liked, like HOW CRINGY IS THAT). It also made me realize, I’ve always had a thing for Menado and or Toraja boys because literally every boy I liked back in Indo were either Menado or Toraja (and I ended up married to a Menado man!) God already knew my heart even back then! LOL 

Needless to say, it just makes me appreciate spotify even more. Think about it, if spotify didn’t exist, how difficult it would be to get those songs from each year and organizing it into a playlist. Worse, would we have to take each song and burn it into CDs? I don’t know about you but I am so thankful to not have to burn anymore CDs these days :) Honestly, this wasn’t even going to be like a project for me. I intended to just save an existing playlist to my spotify but after seeing the list of songs, I realized I should just create a brand new one, and curate it in a specific order to my liking, which is why I decided to go year by year. 

I should also say, it’s cool that this project starts with music from 1999 and end at 2005 this week because  I believe those are my formative years in terms of music. i started watching MTV and get a lot of exposures to different types of music (Eminem’s “Without Me” and ALL of Linkin Park’s music video live rent free in my head), sneaking into my brother’s room to listen to his cassettes and later CDs, borrowing cassettes from friends and talking about music. There was a heated discussion about Avril Lavigne vs Michelle Branch one day in 6th grade during our lunch break (I was team Avril). In 5th grade, this girl lended her linkin park cassette to another girl and before you know it, that tape was passed around to the entire class, myself included. I don’t understand why we did what we did, but all I remember was that we collectively as a class felt very cultured after experiencing Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory album. 

I can’t wait to complete my playlist, though I’m conflicted if I should end it at 2010 OR just end it at 2005. At what point do all music start to sound like trap music? I couldn’t pinpoint that. But either way, I’m glad I started this mini project. 

[yasminbenoit]

Yasmin Benoit in Cosmopolitan: “I’m the Unlikely Face of Asexuality”

I was 10 years old when I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I realised I was asexual around the same time as my peers realised they weren’t. In late primary school, the boys and girls didn't want to play together anymore - they 'fancied' and wanted to 'go out' with each other. I watched girls fighting over boy drama in the cafeteria and wondered what had gotten into everyone.

That’s when I decided I’d attend an all girls’ school under the naive belief that, in the absence of boys, none of the girls would care about sex or dating. I quickly discovered that a same-sex environment had the opposite effect.

By the time I was a teenager, my peers started to wonder what was wrong with me. The sexual frustration was turned up to 100, which made it all the more obvious that I wasn't reacting the same way as the other teens. While their sexuality was directed towards any nearby boy, a poster of a boy, or even each other, mine wasn't directed anywhere. And other people wanted to work out why that was more than I did.

Before believing that it was just my innate sexuality, it was easier to assume that I was gay and in denial. Maybe I was molested as a kid and I’d forgotten about it, but been left with psychological scars. I could be hiding a hidden perversion – my dad asked me whether I was into inanimate objects or children when I told him that I wasn’t attracted to men or women. I might be a psychopath, unable to empathise with people enough to deem them attractive. The theory that held the most weight was that I was 'mentally stunted', and I was treated as such. I started to wonder if they were right.

At 15, I learned the word asexual. It was during yet another analysis session of my sexuality at school. I described myself as not being attracted to men or women for the thousandth time, and someone suggested I might be “asexual or something.” With a quick Google search, I realised I wasn’t alone. Asexuality is a term used to describe those who experience a lack of sexual attraction and/or low levels of sexual desire towards others.

It wasn’t a mental or physical disorder, or a personality flaw, or anything related to my appearance or my life experiences. It wasn’t the same as being celibate, or anti-sex, or just being a ‘late bloomer.’ It was a legitimate sexual orientation characterised purely by a lack of sexual attraction or desire, meaning that it had no implications on whether an asexual could masturbate, or actually enjoy sex, or have children, or be in a romantic relationship. There were no limitations, just a way to bring a lot of people under one united umbrella.

I had finally found an answer to everyone’s question... only, no one else knew what the hell I was talking about. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop them from spewing the same ignorant views I had been hearing for years.

To an extent, I can’t blame them. It’s been almost 10 years since I discovered the term and it is barely part of public consciousness. It isn’t included in sex education or any conversations about sexuality. We’re left out of policies, pathologised in psychiatry and there is next-to-no representation for asexual people in the media. You can count positive examples on one hand. Most of the time, asexuality is either a fleeting reference, the butt of a joke, or a trait in a character that’s either an alien, robotic, or evil – a manifestation of their lack of empathy. Think your Sheldon Cooper, your Data from Star Trek, your Lord Voldemort.

Especially for women, it's seen as a symptom of their prudishness, unattractiveness or overall blandness, which needs to be resolved by the end of the plot so they can be complete, appealing, lovable people. After all, being virginal is a good thing, perpetual sexual unavailability is not, particularly when you need a loving sexual relationship to be whole. Even our non-fiction portrayals tend to conform to stereotypes and perpetuate a ‘woe is them’ narrative. And among all of these things, they’re probably white, occasionally East Asian, but never Black. Black people are hypersexualised to the point where that would become contradictory and confusing for the audience. And that’s what I would end up being.

When I first mentioned on social media that I was asexual, I had no intention of becoming a voice for the asexual community. It seemed too unlikely to contemplate. After all, I was a Black gothic student from Berkshire who got sat on at school because I was that invisible. On top of that, my work as an alternative lingerie model meant I was far from the girl/boy-next-door like the asexual activists who had come before me. But, apparently, that's what the community wanted. From there, my activism took off.

I quickly found myself becoming one of the community's most prominent - but unlikely - faces. I used my platform to raise awareness for asexuality, empower asexual people, dispel misconceptions and promote our inclusion in spaces we've traditionally been left out of. From incorporating asexuality into lingerie campaigns, speaking at government institutions, being the first openly asexual person to appear on LGBTQ+ magazine covers, and opening asexual spaces, my work has been intersectional if not a little controversial.

I had never experienced hatred online like I have since speaking openly about asexuality. Only through my work did I become aware of acephobia and the exclusionary discourse surrounding what at first seems like an inoffensive and discreet orientation. It’s shown me how important asexuality activism is, and it’s made me aware of just how diverse, powerful and unique the asexual community is. How they stand up for the rights of others even when we’re ignored ourselves, how they’ll never let their invisibility stop them from developing their own unique culture, history, and progressive understanding of human sexuality and love.

This week is Asexual Awareness Week, an occasion founded by Sara Beth Brooks a decade ago. It’s one of the few times in the year that the community demands to be seen and people start looking.

Don’t miss us, we have a lot to show you.

[dastardlydandelion]

Who are your favorite Yellowjackets characters and why?

what a question! idk yet, we're only two episodes in but everyone is so interesting so far. i'm drawn to taissa, her quiet ruthlessness and goal-oriented drive are captivating but she has those moments of fleeting vulnerability despite her composure. she looks genuinely disturbed after injuring allie on the field and uncomfortable when her past is brought up during the photoshoot, when she sees her son's drawings, startled by her flashback, etc.

i think it's possible taissa and shauna did a lil rolling around together out in the wilderness? idk, they had that lingering hand touch in the diner...that doesn't have anything to do with ur question, whoops.

but shauna!! i like her a lot too. there's a lot of intrigue there. in the present it seems like she has the most typical life outta our four leading ladies. housewife with an annoying, mediocre husband who's probably unfaithful, a bratty teenage daughter, a garden to tend. but she's also clearly self-sufficient, deftly kills, skins, and cooks rabbits. she probably had to do that at one time to survive, but i'd *guess* she takes a bit of pleasure in it in the present, if only to break up the monotony.

on that note, i suspect shauna might be "antlers." by antlers, i mean the girl in the ep1 flashback who appears to be in charge during the ritualistic cannibalism. antlers's outfit is notably distinct from the others, she sits in the center, the platter of meat is placed before her and no one eats until she gives the signal. maybe two eps in is too soon for a theory like this BUT so far shauna's characterization has been that of the ordinary "every girl."

she's studious enough to get into brown and a good enough player on the winning team, but it's also made clear she plays second fiddle to jackie (in the public eye) and in the present, her lifestyle is the most typical, nondescript. that makes me think it would be an interesting angle if in the wild it turns out shauna was in a position of leadership, calling the shots, deciding shit like who lives, who dies...that wasn't really an answer to ur question either, but i mean, it's the intrigue that gets me abt shauna. there is so much under the surface there, it's hard to pin her down. all the leads are interesting but imho the others are more straightforward than shauna. taissa is rigidly ambitious, eyes on the prize. natalie's a relapsing addict and we see her drinking more than the others as a teen, but it's probable her trauma from those 19 months contributes. misty is the socially inept loner with a sociopathic streak. shauna's a bit more mysterious. something's lurking under the sheen of mundanity, but her characterization is more subtle.

i wonder how natalie comes to be wealthy? in the flashback before takeoff, she's shown in a trailer. i'm assuming that's where she lives, but she must've come into money somewhere to be in the fancy rehab facility. shit, that's also not an answer to your question!! i am sorry, as u can tell, this show has my gears going. i like nat a lot too. teen!nat is defo kind at heart. adult!nat is more prickly and i wonder if she's still a kind spirit or if the trauma and ugliness endured in the wilderness ripped it from her.

i 100% find misty interesting but i guarantee she will not be my favorite. she's abusive toward the elderly and that immediately eliminates her as my fave potential. i love old ppl too much and watching her bully that bedbound old lady bothered me a lot. and it was supposed to, obvi, that was the point of the scene-- that her cutesy scrubs conceal a darker nature --but i mean, she's off the table as far as problematic faves go. i have a *big* soft spot for old ppl, i can't love any character that treats old ppl like that. 😬

BUT i find misty v interesting and i like her place in the story. the bullied outcast at school who fucking thrives in the wilderness?? chopping off a man's mangled leg without so much as batting an eye? cauterizing it without flinching even as he screams?

a character like misty is awesome in this scenario. back home she's a nobody but in the woods, the moment she realizes she's finally getting respect, she dead ass sabotages their chance at rescue and i am intrigued to know if she'll ever come to regret this decision. misty is dangerous, and it's a peculiar kind of danger bc it's an internal threat from the get-go. she doesn't need desperation (what we can assume will drive the other girls to become dangerous), she's already someone u need to watch out for and NOBODY realizes it. she's still socially inept and lonely come the present, to the point where she sabotaged nat's car just to spend more time with her. that's actually insane. and nat doesn't seem surprised by it at all? that makes me wonder if it ever comes out that misty destroyed the flight recorder, if it comes out to erryone of if only natalie figures it out somehow...jfc, i'm still doing it, rambling on and on. my bad!

okay!! point is, i love the kind of character misty is in this show (her being played by christina ricci is also a plus), she's fun to watch, but i can't call her a fave bc elder abuse makes me viscerally uncomfortable. i love cannibalism with a passion but i cannot stomach denying an old woman her pain meds, go figure. 😅

taissa is *prolly* my fave at present bc i like her kind of character, but it's so early in the show someone else might steal my heart as we go and tbh, i love all our leading ladies and no character (besides jeff) is boring to me, i enjoying watching and thinking abt all of them.

how abt u, buddy? who's ur fave, @foxgirlontherun?

[shinonometrash]

stuff i’ve done masterpost

~~Translations~~

This is content from the Japanese versions of the apps that have not yet been translated into English (at the time of posting). With the exception of the first two Shinonome stories, all content posted publicly will be content that was originally free in the app. *Please be aware that the characters might sound different from how they sound in their respective apps--I’m not trying to copy Voltage’s translation style or duplicate the exact speech patterns. I want to localize otome games professionally in the future, so my goal is simply to practice translating Japanese into natural sounding English that conveys the same story.

Her Love In The Force:

Don't Think You Can Flirt So Easily: Shinonome  You’ve lost your confidence as Shinonome’s girlfriend and end up consulting Goto for advice. When Goto pats you on the head during your meeting, it feels like you’re the heroine from a shoujo manga. But it turns out Shinonome was watching?!

Misunderstandings: Shinonome You’re put in a pinch when he discovers the female orientated X-rated video you were given! But the kisses he gives you makes your heart race more than any adult video~❤️

Ayumu Peach Fan Club+more - 2021 Birthday Celebration I did a 12 day countdown for Ayumu’s birthday where I released content from his Peach fan club (& some other sources) every day! It also includes a commercial and two full special stories. Lots of content. I did not sleep those 12 days.

Romance MD: Always On Call:

Kasumi Birthday Mini-Story  Since Kasumi won second place in the 100恋+ election, Voltage wrote a mini story in celebration of his birthday!

Court of Darkness:

Special Reward  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Fully voiced video story with Rio and Toa!

Birthday Chats  Lynt | Toa | Grayson | Jasper | Fenn | Tino | Guy | Dia | Lou | Knight This year for character’s birthdays the Japanese app has been releasing little chat group images. CoD is translating a few of them on twitter, but many of them remain untranslated--so my friend and I decided to translate and typeset them ourselves!

👀👀👀 Stories Tino | Roy Please message me directly. 18+ only.

Fragments of Dormant Love: Lance Ira Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Last Chapter  Event story where Lance loses his memory! The entire story is told in his POV. 

Time Spun From Miracles: Lance Ira Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Last Chapter Lance is forced to teach a special lecture! Don’t you think ‘Professor Lance’ has a nice ring to it? His dynamic with MC in this is absolutely adorable and wonderful, you don’t want to miss it!

The Kiss Scandal Scramble - Lance Ira/Jasper Lane Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Good End (💕🥰😍) | Bad End (🚩🙅‍♀️🚨) A story where Lance saves us from Jasper? Sign me the fuck up. My heard was highkey pounding so hard while I read this story ngl. 

Harem Route/Princes’ Path - Book 4 - Childhood Chapters Lance | Toa Stories where Lance and Toa compete for the saddest, most heartbreaking childhood award! Jk, but...seriously, these things are fucking sad. 

~~Fan Fiction~~

I finally started writing again after having not written since I was, like, 12! Otome game/visual novel style turns out to be much less work to write... For a lot of the stories, my goal is to make it seem like it could be one of my translations as far as keeping the characters in character. Which, I know part of the thing with fan fiction is you can change the characters however you’d like, but...yeah, lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading these!

Court of Darkness:

The Reality of Fiction: Toa Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Last Chapter | Epilogue Toa seems to be hiding something, but you have no idea what it could be! The next day in class, you hear a classmate talk about being cheated on by her paramour. You try to brush it off but then you realize that the behaviors she described seem awfully similar to how your own paramour has been behaving lately...No way, could Toa be...?!

Nighttime Girls’ Talk Part 1 | Part 2 You're having a fun girls night with Sherry and Violet when the topic suddenly changes to...blowjobs?!

Afternoon Reading (Explicit) - Toa Part 1 | Part 2 | His POV After spending a very educational night in the library with Sherry and Violet, you wind up putting your newly learned skills to the test?! “Then...go ahead, seduce me.” (Explicit sequel to Nighttime Girls’ Talk. 18+ only.)

Jasper Lane: Reimagined Jasper’s route, except he’s not a sex offender this time! :D A reimagined main route for Jasper Lane featuring a new plot, new drama, a smarter & bolder MC, + best of all: no sexual assault!

Scones & Secret Feelings Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Last Chapter | Epilogue After realizing you have a crush on one of your close friends, you find yourself in a situation you would’ve never expected... A story that Voltage is too much of a coward to give us!

The Kitten You’re out on a field trip when you find a baby kitten! Wait-, why is Lance carrying around a blanket in this hot weather? Where did that kitten formula come from?? Un-magical Altercations - Lance Ira Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Guy lost his magic...and you’re the only thing that could help?! Yikes! This isn’t going to end well...

Awkward Encounters (Explicit) - Lance Ira  Part 1 | Part 2  A rainstorm leaves you and Lance stuck in a hotel room together for a night. You’re already struggling to keep your thoughts strictly appropriate...but then you walk in on him naked! The story is told from both his perspective and yours! (18+ only)

~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Ayumu Content~~

This is going be the various Ayumu Shinonome related content (minus the translations, which can be found above):

Ayumu Shinonome Timeline - in progress

Why Ayumu Shinonome is Best Boi (an essay) - in progress (currently at 5.5 pages double spaced MLA format and growing)

~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Cake decorating??~~

I made separate cakes (and cupcakes!!) for both Ayumu and Toa’s birthdays (which were three or four days apart TT). It took a very long time. I’m proud of them so I’m gonna share them with y’all lol. Update: I guess this is just a thing I'm doing for all of my faves birthdays now cause I made one for Tino too haha.

Toa (Court of Darkness/まかナイ) | Tino (Court of Darkness/まかナイ) | Ayumu (Her Love in The Force)

~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Misc. Content~~

Random misc posts/content that don’t really fit under a whole category

Jasper Lane (Court of Darkness)

Warning post about his original Japanese route (tw: sexual assault, rape, drugging)

Comparison between the Japanese and English routes, fully summary, thoughts on it (tw: sexual assault, rape, drugging) - Part 1 (of 3, the other two are still in progress)

Comparison between Japanese and English routes + thoughts only, no full summary - in progress

Japanese learning resources and recommendations!

~~~~~~~~~~~

[star-anise]

I know so many people who have self-described as “lesbians” even when the wider culture would say they aren’t. The reality is, people get to decide who they are for themselves. “Bisexual lesbian” isn’t a statement that every lesbian out there can and must sleep with men; it’s a statement that although someone could sleep with men, they’re focusing on lesbian identity and community.

An incomplete list of examples of women who might be “bisexual lesbians”:

A woman who, when she was younger, followed her culture’s norms, dated men, and married a man. In middle age, she finds she does not love her husband and her feelings for a woman are more profound. She leaves her husband for this woman, and wants to pursue only women from now on, but cannot completely say her previous marriage did not contain love or desire.

A bisexual woman with a wife, who runs a support group for women in relationships with other women who are raising children together, who calls it a “lesbian mothers” group and refers to herself as a “lesbian mom” even though, when asked specifically about her orientation, she would say she is bisexual.

A bisexual woman who has in the past had romantic and sexual relationships with men, but also been deeply traumatized by them and is now averse to the idea of a relationship with one. She now socializes in spaces for women who love women, dates other women, and plans to spend the rest of her life in relationships with women. Still, when other lesbians talk about their total lack of attraction to men and wonder aloud why any woman would subject herself to that, she remembers her infatuation with her first boyfriend and feels ashamed.

A woman who always defined herself as a lesbian is in a committed and loving relationship. Her partner tells her that actually, he is trans and wants to transition to male. She supports him through this transition and finds, a year later, that she is still deeply attracted to him, even though she can no longer perceive him as a woman, and does not find any other men attractive. She now has to account to the people she knows for why she is a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship.

Not everyone wakes up at puberty 100% certain of their sexuality. Some people have to taste food to know whether or not they like it. Sometimes there’s a disconnect between how you’ve felt in the past and where you want to go now. Some people are still learning new things about who they are in their nineties. So yeah, while there are people who have always known they’re lesbians, and will always be lesbians forever and ever, there are also a lot of people out there whose lives are more complicated than that, but who find “lesbian” a safe place to land.

If someone identifies as a lesbian, the correct response is to take her at her word, even if it seems “incorrect” to you. You don’t know all the circumstances of her life. The correct answer is not to interrogate her about her sexuality and decide she’s not a “real” lesbian.

[trash-but-respectable-trash]

Headcanons of what life in the Devildom would be like if my best friend and I were both exchange student at the same time:

Heads up! This is completely self-indulgent content. I made this as a gift for my best friend: @beel-is-a-snack love you bitch 😘

Lucifer:

- Lucifer would probably really hate us at first.

- It’s feels to him like everywhere we go together, something really weird will happen

- It’s things he cannot link to us, but he knows it’s because of us because these things never happened before

- At first, we probably wouldn’t listen to his orders, we didn’t leave a controlling household just to go to another one

- A single punishment (and not the kinky kind) would be all it takes for us to never disobey his orders again

- It would come at no surprise that I would immediatly have a fat crush on him and that I would talk about him all the time to you, even though you wouldn’t understand what I see in him at first

- The more you would notice how much he cares about his brothers, the more you would like him. You two would developed a mutual understanding about taking the role of the parent by default even if that wasn’t your choice

- You two could probably also relate to each other’s daddy issues sorry love you

- With time you two could be really close friends, but probably not more than that, because he’s mine

- Don’t worry we’ll find you a more suitable boyfriend

- He definitely wouldn’t try to come between our friendship and would never be jealous of it either

- He would give us plenty of time alone, but even if he didn’t, we couldn’t even try to speak French around him because I’m 100% sure he also speak French as a second or third or fourth language

- We would probably found out about it the hard way while I would either tell you how handsome he is or you telling me he’s a control freak and he would just reply to us in perfect French

- Yeah we would only make that mistake once

Mammon

- Mammon also hates us at first, he has to take care of TWO humans?? That’s asking too much of him, he can barely take care of himself

- After a while, it would probably be the other way around as we would be the ones taking care of him

- He cannot decide which one of us he loves more (probably the one who gives him the most attention and positive reinforcement)

- He quickly becomes jealous of our friendship and tries to hangout with us every chances he gets

- It can be a bit awkward when we’re trying to talk about boys, since we’re likely talking about his brothers

- We would need to have codes to refer to the brothers or we could use French when we don’t want him to understand what we’re saying, since he’s definitely too dumb to understand French

- It was 100% clear in our minds that neither of us would end up dating Mammon as we both need someone who could mentally stimulates us

- Also he would for sure steal our stuff out of our rooms and try to sell them

- After a full week of silent treatment from both of us, he wouldn’t ever try to steal our stuff again

- He would try to trick us in participating in his shaninagans, but we would probably report it to Lucifer just to see Mammon get punish (ok mostly me, but I would drag you with me to see the aftermath)

- Never suspects us of being the one who snitch him all the time to Lucifer, he probably thinks it’s Levi

Leviathan

- Oh boy. Opposite to Lucifer and Mammon, it’s us who hates him at first

- What the fuck is that hair style, why is he always screaming and talking an hundred miles an hour rambling about animes and Ruri-Chan, who’s Ruri-Chan??

- Probably calls us normies until he finds out you had a Naruto collection when you were 13 years old and that you used to love mangas

- And that I now enjoy some animes and mangas myself, so now he calls both of us weebs, which isn’t much better honestly

- We would TOLERATE gaming with him if he isn’t screaming all the fucking time

- We would immediately leave any room we’re in everytime he says “Woooooaaaahhhh”

- He needs to shut up or else we can never be friends with him

- He also gets jealous of our friendship, he wish he had a best friend with such a strong bond, yeah he has Henry 2.0 but it’s just not the same you know

- He wonders if his friendship with Ruri-Chan would be similar to ours if she was real

- He tried to become really close with Solomon to recreate our friendship, but Solomon spent his time trying to form a pact with Levi so he ended it

Satan

- I have to say that I think that Satan and I are the most similar

- We’re both intelligent, independent and observant individuals who do not tolerate dumb people, we both enjoy reading a bit too much, we’re both messy, we’re both way too honest and we’re pros at hiding our anger (especially towards stupidity)

- Ok, so I’m not saying you wouldn’t get along with Satan, I just think you wouldn’t have much in common with him and by that I mean that’s he’s a very rational being and the best form of art in his eyes is writing

- I think what would make it or break it for both of you is his and your knowledge on all forms of arts and the history being it. Satan would probably test you and if you pass in his eyes, you can be friends, otherwise he would consider you unworthy

- Yeah I know it’s rough, but you don’t need a friend who needs to test you on your knowledge about art to see if you two can be friends

- Even if you pass the test, I don’t see you two being super close as he is mostly in his room reading and you would be in your studio, doing all of your art projects

- In any case, you guys would have to get along somehow since he would probably be the one I would be closest with and you’re my best friend so obviously you two would have to hang out by default quite a lot

- When you would be in your studio, I would probably be at the library or in Satan’s room reading

- We would also all study together and use Satan as our tutor for classes were we have more difficulty (but you’re lucky, there’s no French class given at RAD so you should do fine)

Asmodeus

- If we push aside the lust part of him and focus on his other personality traits, Asmo would like us from the start

- Two best friends how fun! He would probably tell us how Solomon is his best friend before finding out later by Solomon that it isn’t true

- Asmo is a lonely demon, sure he gets plenty of physical attention, but no one cares about him past his beauty

- We would be the one to change that, we would both see further than his beauty, but also further than his narcissistic ways to find out who the real Asmo is

- He’s the insecure one who only wants to be love. We would both act as his therapist. Sometimes he would confess to us while doing our nails and makeup or sometimes he would just start sobbing on my lap or your lap, pouring his heart out and telling us his deepest fears and secrets because he finally feels safe enough to say these things to someone

- He would probably crave our attention and comfort the more and more we listen to him. We would need to set boundaries or else we would feel like we’re suffocating. We both need our space and Asmo would have to understand that fact

- We would rub on him and he would slowly stop going out so much, instead appreciating his alone time the better he feels about himself

Beelzebub

- At first I would be a bit scared of him, he’s big and he keeps making comments about how delicious we look (and again, not in the kinky way)

- You on the other hand, would probably feel that he isn’t a bad guy at all and you would definitely see more than his angry looking face and his never ending comments about food

- Just a few conversations with him can tell how much he cares about his family and his twin in particular

- That man is such an himbo, but he also have a big heart just like you and you’re both so cute together

- Everyone ship the both of you even though you’re both emotionally dense and it would take a while for you and him to FINALLY be together

- It’s not that you didn’t love each other, it’s just that you never took the signs that the other one was sending you, mistaking it for simple kindness and nothing more

- He would probably have to just straight up tell you l that he’s in love with you for your relationship to go anywhere

- Basically everyone’s like “FINALLY” the moment you both annonce that you’re officially dating

- Wedding and kids would come shortly after that

- You’re both very family oriented and are both super vanilla so that’s a winning couple if I’ve ever seen one

Belphegor

- Ok first of all, if we were the MC, Belphie would 100% still be locked in the attic

- It would only take one warning from Lucifer for us to never go up those stairs again

- But for the sake of this, let’s say you knew this was Beel’s brother and you loved Beel so much that you were ready to face the consequences to save his brother

- And let’s say I wasn’t aware of this, because if I were and we both decided to go up the stairs anyway, it wouldn’t take me long at all before realizing that Belphie is lying to us and that we cannot trust him

- If I wasn’t aware of you going up the stairs by yourself, you’re so trusting of everyone that you would for sure do the same thing as the MC and free Belphegor just to get yourself killed. I told you dozens of time, don’t trust everyone!

- Anyway, let’s say we both died somehow (I probably got killed by Lucifer once he found out what you did) and Barbatos and Diavolo brought us to a timeline were we didn’t die

- Well, let’s say the saying “I forgive but I never forget” would represent me 100%

- I would be forgiving for the sake of Beelzebub, but Belphie and I would NEVER be close, whether it appears to be the case or not

- I might let him sleep on my lap or listen to him talk about how he loves his twin, but don’t get me wrong, I would never trust him or be his friend

- In your case, you would either be like me or you wouldn’t ever forgive him

- Forgivness isn’t always something you can control and you might always hold a grudge against him after what he did

- That could either destroy what you had with Beel, because he cannot date someone who hates his brother so much, or he could also understand how you feel, but he would still try to make you and his brother friends good luck with that

Diavolo

- Oh boy that’s my type of man right there

- What a fucking piece of ass

- Ok back on track, Diavolo would obviously be the one who’s most excited to have us in the Devildom

- He would always invite us for tea, asking us questions about the human world and laughing at our dumb stories

- We would troll him with human traditions that don’t exist like how you need to pray before eating chocolate truffle or how humans eat St-Hubert (a rotisserie restaurant comparable to Nando’s) every Sunday and how What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction is the national anthem of our country

- I can imagine him watching the video clip of What Makes You Beautiful that same night and being like “wow! That is beautiful!”

- Lucifer would be so mad at us, but it would be worth it

- We would also tell him that “thug life” and “yolo” are commonly use expression in the human world when you’re excited about something and he would start using them at the most random moments while everyone is like “???”

- We would totally hate every party hosted by Diavolo and we would 1000% leave to explore the castle only to get lost and then brought back by either Barbatos or Lucifer (lord have mercy)

- It doesn’t matter, we would do it everytime, choosing a different path everytime until we’ve explore every part of the castle (which would realistically never happen)

- Diavolo would probably give us a plan of the castle behind Lucifer’s back so we can explore the castle however we want. He himself, isn’t a fan of these events and would much rather hang out with us than be stuck making conversations with nobles he doesn’t care about

- Other than that, you would have to listen to me talk endlessly about how it isn’t fair that I cannot date both Lucifer AND Diavolo until I actually do

Barbatos

- This one is a difficult one, since we basically know nothing about the Butler

- We would probably have a good grasp of who he is if we were in the devildom, since we have pretty good intuitions on people

- I would probably talk to Barbatos about baking and all the different variations of tea, probably dropping way to soon a reference to Black Butler like he never heard the comparaison before

- Much like his devilgram story, he would probably invite me to get some specific type of tea that can only be purchase out of town, never implying that it’s a date even though he qualify it as one in his head

- There’s not much more to say about him, I think you would see him as Diavolo’s Butler more than a potential lover or close friend

Simeon

- Ouf poor sweet angel. Let’s state the obvious first, he would probably be very disappointed in me and my very obvious lust for certain demons

- Wouldn’t be happy with me straying further away from god each passing day

- I would defend myself by telling him I do pray and go once a year to church to ask God for forgiveness for all of my sins

- Yeah if I was in the Devildom, my list of sins I committed during my stay would be particularly long

- Still, I would have no regrets

- Ok, I have to say it, this angel is shady. I think we would sense that something isn’t right with him. His smile and energy are a little off, he’s definitely hiding something but what?

- If we had time to kill we could do some research on the matter and ask people around about what they know about Simeon, maybe spy on him while he’s out in town?

- We would probably get caught and ask by a very scary Simeon, to stop whatever we are doing

- Yeah let’s take the wise decision of staying away from him from now on

Solomon

- He would need to understand that it’s not because we’re all humans that we NEED to hang out together

- I would have to keep you away from him, or at least not let you hang out alone with him. I don’t think he’s evil, but he might use you as human experiment for his potions and spells and I don’t want you to accidentally be turned into a pig or something

- I’ll accept the occasional vines references wars and the team up to tell Diavolo even more made up things about the human world, but that’s all

- I would probably compare him to Harry Potter all the time

- Let’s just stay far away from the shady sorcerer

Luke

- I have no motherly instincts, but I would protect this child from all of the brothers teasing, but that’s about it. I really don’t care about this child, SIMEON COME PICK UP YOUR SON, HE POOPED HIMSELF AGAIN “Stephanie that’s not true!!” Luke would bark back as he tries to hide the streak of poop on the back of his white pants (sorry I don’t know why this came to mind, but I have this headcanon that sometimes when he’s afraid, Luke will poop his pants and this boy is VERY scared of Lucifer, so it happens quite often)

- You would probably be way more motherly towards him than me and you and Beel would basically adopt Luke as your own child

- Just always carry baby wipes and a clean pair of pants with you at all times and you’re all good

- I hope you like baking sweets, because your son will surely want to spend some bonding time with his mom over baking time, and of course you have to enjoy the sweets you both made over a nice cup of tea that Barbatos made for you two