#every day i remember this film is on streaming and streaming only i die a little on the inside

[emily-ella-nightshade89]

*listens to the Togo 2019 soundtrack for the millionth time* Goddamn it Mark Isham...

Disney...disney c'mere bud, just get over here get over now just listen LISTEN I just wanna talk I swear I just think...I just think that maybe...you shouldn't have let this one go onto just streaming- no wait listen just listen wai-*gets dragged away*

[kittenchancorruptionarc]

( @snufflvr92 )

[It felt so sudden, even though its been nearly four days since Felix last met, spoke to, and even SAW Fox. Those horrible, demonic noises he heard a night or two ago weren’t very encouraging either for what would soon happen to him. His time was running out.

Then, it finally happened.

*click!*

Two of Fox’s apprentices came in with what the man thought was his meal for the day, two pieces of toast and a simple cup of tea. Great, what a filling meal that is. He thought nothing of it at first, Fox had ordered them to bring him food every day so he wouldn’t die of either starvation or dehydration, but he did pick up on the fact neither of the taller individuals were turning to leave the room like they usually did when they brought Felix his daily meal.

The man just shrugged it off and ate the two pieces of toast he was given and sipped on the tea, it was Earl Grey but…it had a rather strange flavor to it.

Suddenly the room started to become fuzzy, like the world was made of static. The world around Felix felt slow…too slow…and he began to get dizzier and dizzier before…it all just went black.

When Felix woke up, he was greeted to a nearly pitch black room that was only illuminated by spotlights you’d usually only see in a professional film studio and a giant monitor setup. The more the now dazed and confused man looked around…the more familiar it all became.

Oh god. ]

“Ah, I see you’re finally awake!~”

[That familiar, cherry sounded voice grabbed Felix’s attention as he turned and saw Fox, in his usual stream get up, standing over top of him as he fidgeted with the camera’s settings a bit while talking to the other man.]

“I think they added WAY too many pills to your drink, you were knocked out for abouttt..”

[Fox lifted up his sleeve and looked at the fancy, expensive looking golden watch that decorated his wrist, it almost shined under the spotlights illumination.]

“About three hours now? My audience has been getting antsy, and I hate to keep them waiting!”

[The older man made sure Felix’s restraints were tightened good, as he looked down at himself the man noticed he was in nothing but his boxers now, now finally realizing the full gravity of the situation he was in. It was all too late though.

There’s no going back now.

Fox then finally turned on the camera and pulled up the stream, where he cleared his throat before starting his usual introduction ritual.]

“Welcome to the show, everyone! Finally, after so, SO long, I have a brand new co-star for you all tonight! Funny enough…this guy was a big fan of me and used to be one of my top donators in the past! Anyone remember Snuffluvr92?~”

[The beastkin chuckled before turning back towards Felix, there was a VERY sinister glare in his eyes as he turned back to the camera quickly]

“Anyways, never mind that, let’s just get this show on the road shall we?~”

[symbioticsimplicity]

This Idiot Has Seen Goncharov

So today marked the coalescence of the Goncharov Incident as I’ll be calling it, so I think it’s finally time to share.

For a bit of context, you need to know a little more about one of my co-workers. We’ll call him Zeke. First it’s important to note that despite being in his early thirties, Zeke doesn’t have any sort of social media accounts outside of a MySpace page. Dude has straight up been living like it’s still 2007. Zeke also has a fixation with my friend/roommate who also works with us. Zeke will hop onto whatever bandwagon this friend, who we’ll call Jesse, is on. But most importantly to this whole tableau, Zeke likes to tell tall tales, like no matter what you’re talking about, or what you’ve done, this guy has done it but bigger and crazier.

That alone would be annoying, but it wouldn’t be enough to push myself and Jesse to the level we’ve hit with him. For me, it’s the constant need to put other people down for ‘knowing less than he does’ despite the obviousness of his knowledge being a collection of poorly constructed lies. Like not only does he lie, but this dumbass doesn’t even bother to check into the things he lies about. Several times he’s tried to convince me of something in a subject I know everything about. He refuses to admit to being wrong and he won’t back down from anything he’s said, it’s infuriating.

For this, and quite a few other reasons transphobic cough cough augh, he’s been bothering Jesse and I for quite a while. Badly enough that the spite fueled wasp nest that lives in the back corner of my brain Morse coded a plan to me.

Goncharov.

What better way to trip up a ride or die compulsive liar than a piece of media well known for being entirely fictional?

The next day, when Zeke climbed into my car during our lunch hour, Jesse and I began talking about this old movie we’d recently watched. The two of us have known each other more than long enough to able to follow each other’s bullshit like second nature, we’ve played an assload of DND together. In ten minutes we’ve got the whole first arc talked out with a few of the “best scenes” highlighted. (Personal favorites being Andrey juggling guns “a la John Wick/Guns Akimbo” and Katya killing a man point blank after saying ‘Get Gonch’d bitch’ in a 1973 film.)

Zeke didn’t respond too much, just kind of nodded and ignored most of the convo since it wasn’t really about him. I didn’t really expect him to engage to start, he usually doesn’t, but we’d planned to keep this up for another couple days anyhow.

But like clockwork, the more Jesse talked about it, the more Zeke seemed to remember it. Enough that I jumped ahead a little and pulled up the faux movie poster to show him.

He squinted at it then nodded and said he’d definitely seen the movie before.

When I tell you I almost fucking screamed.

Of course he couldn’t remember many details because it had been so long since he’d seen it. To tell you the truth I’d checked out at that point, I was focused on not losing my shit, I have no fucking idea what he said.

While this was an entire meal served up on a silver platter, it would have been pretty easy to say he’d seen the poster somewhere despite not having socials. I want this man incinerated, not merely singed.

Which leads me to the events of the last couple days.

So Zeke came up to Jesse and I and told us he wanted to re-watch Goncharov and asked us if it’s on Netflix.

Jesse and I both said that it is, without hesitation.

Zeke went to look for it (at work, while we’re working no less, again I missed the rest of what he was saying here I was mentally biting him) and obviously found nothing. So he searched every other streaming platform he had, and Youtube, all once again coming up empty.

At this point, I was sure the jig is up. He was actually searching it now so obviously he’d find one of the search results letting him know Goncharov’s true nature. I’m fairly certain the first result for it on Google says that it’s fake.

Oh hoo hoo, no.

Zeke came to me to complain about not being able to find the movie and in a fit of clandestine fervor, I told him that we probably watched it on a pirating site.

It was beautiful, it was inspired, and it worked.

Zeke asked me for the site and I told him that I’d have to get it from our other roommate since she’s in charge of the tech in our house. Then I hauled ass to go find Jesse and spill the latest tea before Zeke could. 

Later on Jesse sent him the link to the site, and he told us he’d find it over the weekend.

Well today, friends, is Monday.

Most of today we spent too busy to go grill Zeke about whether or not he’s crossed over into the fucking Mandela timeline and managed to watch Goncharov. But ten minutes before close, while we’re waiting to go, suddenly Zeke perks up, and remembers that when he gets home, he has to finish watching the movie. He’d had trouble getting the site to work on his phone, but his Xbox had run it, and he’d started watching it, but had unfortunately fallen asleep before he’d finished.

Now. I am a calm man, I can keep a straight face if I need to. But hearing this fucking idiot tell me he’d started watching a fictitious movie made up by Tumblr.com of all places nearly sent me to the fucking Shadow Realm with the amount of effort it took not to crack.

He talked for a couple more minutes before fucking off to do something else, I have no idea again I wasn’t fucking listening, I was trying not to visibly cry from holding back laughter.

But then he left and like instinct, like the inevitable impact of atoms inside of the Hadron collider, Jesse and I turned to look at each other. I knew what Jesse would say, Jesse knew what I would say, and like fate, like destiny, like two people who had witnessed a man commit manslaughter against his own damn self, we spoke at once.

“This idiot has seen Goncharov.”

[crmsnmth]

The Things We Leave Behind

Death is silent. No. Death is cruel. is sadistic. is merciless. is callous. is harsh. is atrocious. is ruthless. is evil. is bitter. is brutal. is uncaring. is wicked. is unkind. No, that's wrong too. Death is the fairest force of nature we got.

Death doesn't discriminate. We all face those boney fingers eventually. Not one human being has proven immortality yet And it'll be a cold day in Hell when we figure that out. With the world on it's collapse, who would want to be immortal? Death knows this, and when it comes, it's best just to take it's hand, and hold tight. The reaper is just the delivery man, your Amazon package has arrived And you can't even remember what it was that you ordered but it's a nice way to liven up a Thursday afternoon.

Death is violent. Violent like a child throwing a tantrum in a Wal-Mart candy aisle Like a bar fight ending in cuffs and broken noses. Like a drunk coming home to beat his dog senseless, secretly wishing the dog would just snap. Suicide is too scary. Let the dog do the dirty work. In comfortable hospital rooms, high on morphine and fentanyl, the violence lingers in the air The same hospital smell of shit, vomit, and cleaning chemicals. Everything has to be sterile for the dying. Make sure his hands are restrained so he can't pull the tube out. He can't speak. He can't speak but he tries, and I never learned how to read lips.

The room is quiet, except for the machine that breathes for him. A constant lung substitutes. A constant beeping pulse. A TV plays an unwatched and forgotten show. What's the point of caring when your never even awake for more than ten minutes at a time. Sweet sleep is the transition into death, and we practice for the big show every single time we close our eyes.

Death is violent. It's violent to the dead, but it's even worse of an abuser to the living. Curled fists, thrown dishes, stab wounds and bullet holes. Death is worse for those still breathing. Grief. Grief is an often-forgotten emotion, only being a little less of a surprise than a prepared for death still happening. The living watch the living transition to empty vessels surrounded by loved ones, at least for a few moments. An hour or two, to say goodbyes. Death hooks your lungs as you try to speak those last words, the last words you'll ever say to your father. I love you, pop. Were they good enough. Death is anxiety. Death is uncertain. Death is questioning. Death is violence.

Death is instant. One minute a word, the next airless lungs. Eyes for second see everything in the room, to fading residuals of light tracers. And we watch. We watch everything deflate one last time.

Death is silent. There is a stillness to the air of the dying. It seems to freeze the very essence of the room. A hospital room. Nobody wants to die in a hospital room. In the never ending beeps that disappear, both in the dying ears, and in the living who now hear nothing in the room but a very high pitched sound. Needles straight to the brain.

Death is violence. Tears break in salt water streams. Sobs stab at the lungs. And a curious pressure squeezes your heart, and the very vessels that your blood is flowing in. Your blood stops. Everything stops. What are you supposed to do after death? What are you supposed to do with the things we leave behind?

The things that get left behind. How do you go through those possessions and divvy them up between loved ones? The things we leave behind seem to hit the hardest. That's death's final shot on the living. The memories that appear out of seemingly no where A song on the radio, now bittersweet instead of sugar A film laughing, and suddenly tears as you hear the laugh of the past A book once read, but now sits unfinished with dog ear pages I still dog ear my books like crazy. A habit I never broke from you. A certain meal, a certain smell, a familiar taste, a familiar room It's amazing the places that ghosts like to appear in And they say hello, in death's final shots just to remind you for one second that death is violent

A life-time gone in a matter of seconds and I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to do with this information. Just store it away and let it build into yet another repressed mental illness because I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I don't even know how I'm really supposed to feel at this point.

Death is violent. So fucking violent.

[f0point5]

Re: the recent landogate Funny thing about this man is that sometimes he gives such good responses and seems to genuinely be able to self reflect (ex. "I'm not a well rounded driver like Max and Lewis", "I don't want to be given wins" etc.) and then he will utter the most stupid thing he could because he does not think well before speaking (probably not with bad intent). As for the recent debacle, I don't think it was as deep as people made it seem and I reckon he hadn't seen that picture of George post race, obviously looking worse than the other drivers due to the overheating Mercedes car. So I wouldn't even deem this a proper "landogate". It certainly was weird though. The vast majority of landogates are snippets from interviews taken way out of context. There are some instances, though (of which I found out about very recently) where he has said things that I cannot find a way to justify properly. And he seems scared to own up to them sometimes. I don't think his age could justify them necessarily (I'm the same age). The "fans" (big emphasis on the quotes) really make it even worse. I don't know if he actually understands when he has fucked up. It's just so weird because I really, really root(ed) for him cause I genuinely believe that he races well (and Oscar, ofc, I find it wild how they try to make them seem like they have beef when they don't) and like. Idk. I feel a bit iffy about it all rn haha. In the end, they are all rich boys and I definitely won't be losing sleep over them lol.

I always figure Lando’s responses are always visceral. They seem to just be based on who is around and how he feels in the moment, which also seems based on who’s around and what’s going on for him professionally at the time.

So like, he’s sitting next to Max and Lewis, very aware he’s being filmed, probably not entirely comfortable, asked a question that specifically compares him to the guys next to him, so it’s at the forefront of his mind how much they have achieved and how much he doesn’t want to piss people off so he says something complimentary. Conversely, after a bad day, high on adrenaline, feeling like a petulant child who just had their toy stolen, being spoken to directly and not asked to engage with anyone else, he might say something really dickish in the media pen, and then only remember later how it will come across.

I genuinely think what he says is how he feels in the moment and then sometimes he can’t fully connect with what he said previously or is embarrassed to have said it. I don’t think he’s some evil mastermind who has some big Shkeem (James Charles knows) to denigrate Lewis or erode Max’s self esteem. I think he just talks as he thinks.

I still don’t see what the big deal was about the Merc comment. “Toto Wolff issues health update” does sound like something one would laugh at, considering he probably saw George and Lewis later after they’d recovered and knew they were fine. Merc released a video of them joking around later that evening. “Health update” made it sound like they’d been hospitalised, instead of suffered adverse effects of the sport that they were well prepared for, and specifically train for, and recovered from shortly afterwards. I genuinely think he was just like “what do you mean health update? They had heatstroke, we all have heatstroke, we all get heatstroke every year…why do we need an update”. Did he articulate any of that? No. Could he articulate that off the cuff? Probably also no. But he was playing a game on stream, not hosting a podcast.

People overdramatise everything he says, and his fans are wayyy too quick to defend his foot in mouth disease. And it just makes for Stan wars. Because you can’t have a sensible conversation about the fact that Lando does in fact put his foot in it very often for someone who is in front of a camera so much. It’s either “he’s the worst person ever he should die” or “omg he’s the kindest person alive who has never had an impure thought how dare you”. And in reality, it’s neither of those things. He’s a 24 year old who doesn’t speak well…it’s really not the end of the world.

But at the end of the day…he’s just a boy who races cars. Like him, don’t like him…he doesn’t give a fuck about any of us, nor should he, and people on both sides of the fence need to realise that

[kindsoulbuddy]

Today I watched an older video of “Tasting History with Max Miller” on YouTube, and was oddly amused by the idea of chartreuse jelly with peaches being the last thing many 1st class passengers ate on April the 14th, 1912.

That prompted me to research more about the Titanic. One thing led to another and I’m looking up photos of the wreck of the Titanic, as you do. I typed “Titanic today”, because I heard the wreck is literally vanishing.

And then…movie showtimes appear in my Google search. Multiple theaters, multiple showings.

Being a little confused, I looked deeper into this, and as it so happens:

We are now at the 25th anniversary of the film “Titanic”.

Why are we still captivated by the Titanic and it’s maiden voyage, which happened 110 years ago?

Why am I still thinking about the Titanic movie? That was apparently 25 years ago! But it feels like 84 some days.

Was I the perfect age at 11/12 for the 1997 movie to capture my imagination? I guess so. I was the perfect preteen age for the Titanic film, as well as The Spice Girls and later as a teenager, the Lord of the Rings. The stars aligned for me.

You think people are nuts about it now? People were Titanic-Crazy in 1997/98! The local library hosted a Titanic movie night (“A Night to Remember”, an old black and white film), and I also attended a Titanic themed tea party. I read the CD insert of the Titanic soundtrack while listening to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”. My mom sewed a beautiful costume for my sister who dressed as Rose for Halloween, complete with the Heart of the Ocean “diamond” necklace.

Old tech alert: I remember when the 1st vhs ended and it was time to take the 2nd half of the movie out and pop it in the vcr.

“Well, I believe you may get your headlines, Mr. Ismay,” - Captain John Smith. Then…black screen.

Technically it’s a disaster movie, but it had the love story and that did it for many people.

If I’m honest, the love story wasn’t my favorite but the sinking in almost real time was thrilling. I also loved and still love the costumes and the set decorations and the music.

I think seeing a young girl finding joy in life and deciding that she’s never going to be small and meek ever again, was my favorite thing.

Rose got to do everything she and Jack talked about (including, I imagine, throwing up on the Coney Island roller coaster). If she hadn’t met Jack, she’d be long dead inside, if not actually passed on. Her life force was in danger of being snuffed out at 17. She was literally suicidal. I think they could have had this storyline without the whirlwind romance but, at the end of the day that’s what sells.

I vividly remember my theater experience watching it. I was not allowed to watch 2 scenes:

1. When Jack draws Rose like one or his French girls. (So, I peeked through my fingers anyway. And seeing the gorgeous Kate Winslet posing nude on a couch awakened something in me…yeah I’m Bi. My friends swooned over Jack; I had complicated feelings about Rose, and didn’t understand them yet.).

2. And toward the end when we see frozen dead, wide eyed people being pulled from the dark water. I actually listened to my mom and didn’t look; many years later I looked and I’m still sorry.

I also remember looking around me during Jack’s death/“I’ll never let go!” scene, and seeing in every direction in the movie theater, crying women and girls. Tears streaming down faces, heaving sobs, ugly crying. Faces lit up by the blue light the screen was giving off; the scene was a blue dimly lit one.

I never cried at that scene. But I always cry or tear up at these scenes:

1. The father telling his children they’ll be separated only for a little while, as they cry for him from the lifeboat.

2. The scene when the 3rd class mother tucks her children into bed, telling them a bedtime story. The lifeboats were gone, and the ship was sinking fast, and she knew they would die.

I’m not sure how, as a parent, you don’t feel something during these scenes.

I’m not going to go to the theater to experience 4k Titanic. But it’s fun to revisit this movie.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics With Body Part Names In The Title Masterlist

Apple of His Eye (ao3) - sundaechii

Summary: "It shouldn't have turned this way." Tears streamed down his cheeks, his voice trembling. "I thought it was only a rumor." He continued, staring in horror at the blood splattered on the floor.

Floor 6 is a restricted floor with one security personnel that changes every few days. Everyone says that it is haunted and Dan and his friends made a mistake of going there.

cold feet (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: This feels wrong. It feels dirty and deviant and shameful and it’s all too much.

“It’s ok, Phil,” Dan says softly, pulling his foot away and planting it on the floor beside the other. “If you like it, you know. It’s ok.”

drop dead legs (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: He shouldn't be so aroused by the sight of Phil's thighs.

Eyes Closed (ao3) - cosmicphan

Summary: Dan hates how his body looks now, he feels like his reflection mocks him. Phil guides him through that.

Eyes Closed 11:11 (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: How many times can one person essentially write the same story? If there's a record then I'm clearly going for it, because this is yet another Stereotypical First Time 2009 Fic.

Eyes You Can Drown In - washedoutgay

Summary: Dan likes the ocean, but he has a bigger reason to keep coming back than the colour when a man who never leaves the water starts to talk to him.

Feet in jelly and eyes looking past the camera (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil asks Dan to help film him when he is trying out this spa kit with a jelly bath. What could go wrong?

Hands (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil thought he was done learning things about what he liked in bed, until he started paying attention to Dan's hands.

Hands Off (ao3) - doctorwatsonofhogwarts

Summary: While out in a bar celebrating Phil reaching one million subscribers, Dan gets overly jealous and strangely possessive when a fan starts flirting with Phil.

Head in the Clouds - botanistlester

Summary: Dan and Phil get high together and Dan doesn’t know how he feels about it at first.

Heads, Shoulders, Knees And Toes - gorgeousdan

Summary: Dan has peripheral artery disease, which gives him many complications. By now, he’s pretty good at managing his disease. However, while Phil is at the shops, he finds himself passed out on the floor.

Head Tilted Down, Knees To The Ground (ao3) - thegirlwholikestowrite

Summary: He smiled, closing his eyes one last time, he could die happily now, knowing that Phil wasn't gone entirely and he was still existing inside of Dan. His despair faded. He could die happily now.

Head To Toe (ao3) - crazed_peanut

Summary: Inspired by the following exchange in the DAPG video of FNAF2.

Heels Over Head (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: it’s a small accident that causes Phil to meet Dan but when a bigger accident happens, maybe that’s what they need to bring them together?

her lips know me so well (ao3) - watergator

Summary: diana loves making her girlfriend feel good

Just From Your Neck - mermaidstailonmyface

Summary:  Dom!Phil lies Dan on his stomach, and kisses his neck.

Matters of the Heart - aldhafera

Summary: After Dan has some memory loss Phil, his pregnant husband, has to try and get him back slowly, patiently, and anything but effortlessly. And Dan gets to remember what it’s like to fall in love all over again.

Necklace Of Bones (ao3) - A_Million_Regrets

Summary: Dan hears the story of a beast who was banished from the world of beasts ten thousand years ago. Apparantly, the beast now wanders the earth, searching for his long-lost companion. The story doesn't move Dan. In fact, he thinks it's unbelievably boring, but his thoughts immediately change when he returns home and finds a giant red door in his home. Beyond the door is a black room, and inside the room, he meets a man with blue eyes and black horns on his head. Dan doesn't know who the man is, but he feels a deep sense of nostalgia when he looks at him.

Start With Your Lips (ao3) - thespianhowell

Summary: It's ten days until they're going to meet in person, but Dan's impatient and frisky, and Phil really isn't much better.

Thigh Kissing - botanistlester

Summary:Phil loves everything about Dan, but he loves kissing his thighs more than anything in the world.

Tripping Over My Own Two Feet (ao3) - Profrock

Summary: Daniel Howell is just about the definition of awkward. Every particle of dust or minutely raised floor tile he could possibly trip over he did, and his gangly limbs and tendency to flail expansively when speaking passionately – something he did quite a lot – led to more than a few busted noses and miffed classmates. That combined with his dry, cynical humor led many people to worry for him, as well as the safety of the people he was with. Daniel Howell was a walking hazard, and he knew that well.

Wrapped Around His Finger (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Phil finds himself feeling a bit insecure and even jealous when his new boyfriend receives a flood of attention from men and women alike. Dan, who has agreed to keep their relationship a secret, finds it harder and harder to appear single. Phil sees another male hitting on Dan and feels the need to make their commitment known to others.

[televinita]

Power Rangers: Once & Always

My husband and I watched this last weekend because we have shared childhood nostalgia for the OG series, which was extremely fun, and now I have thoughts! A random list of thoughts!

Thoughts Like:

Me literally every second Kat was onscreen: screaming, crying, hearts streaming out of my eyes, etc. MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are an equal-opportunity Red/Pink Ranger shipper in this house so as clumsy and awkward as I found most of the reminders that he and Kat are married*, I ate them up with a soup ladle.

(*were? idk feels uncomfortably like you could read this equally well as them being co-parenting divorcees on friendly terms, perhaps to appease the rabid OG shippers without pissing off canon purists, but in the absence of Amy Jo, NOT TODAY SATAN).

I was...Not expecting Trini to die on screen, even just by being hit with a blast and dropping out of sight. YIKE.

Although I did appreciate how much that made this movie feel like a fanfic that magically got filmed. 

Uncle Zack just rolling up to move in and guardianship Trini’s daughter full time, SURE!!!!! 

Was her name always pronounce Tree-nee?? I know I didn’t watch as much of the original lineup compared to Zeo and Turbo, but it’s always been in my head as “Trinny.” It was so jarring, every time. Is my memory that bad or is this like a Modern Day Fix where they got schooled by actual Vietnamese people.

I still require more explanation as to why they have ranger powers at this age. I thought Passing Them On was sort of...a key part of being rangers? I mean I don’t know that much about the mythology because this was strictly a teen drama to me and I fast-forwarded most of the fight scenes and battles but...

Trini’s daughter is

adorable

and I would almost commit to watching a season she was part of. The 2017 reboot film wants what this character’s energy has.

IMMENSELY hilarious to me every time Zack acted like it was unreasonable for a teenager with homework to want to be a ranger, btw.

I will say that her fight against the putties all alone really drove home how young the characters were always supposed to be. Wild visualizing rangers being actual minors.

I was never very attached to Billy and even less attached to Zack (truly the only person who was a greater non-entity to me than the latter was Rocky or perhaps Jason), so kudos to this movie making me care about them. Especially Billy. Oh my god I loved that final forgiveness convo so much.

Husband, howling with laughter at the cringe-worthy single DIVERSITY! moment: “Would you commit vehicular manslaughter for gay rights?? Only true allies need apply.” 

I LOVE THE MONSTER DUDES. Especially the snakey guy, my beloved. It was very hard to root for them to be defeated, let alone straight-up murdered. (which, for all Zack kept scolding about, sure looks like revenge to me!! my husband kept trying to explain to me that it was justice and there is a difference, but everyone who claims that is wrong)

Robo Rita is also most excellent.

This movie was way more stabby than I remember the tv show being. did they always have daggers??

I know I said that I mostly skipped the fight scenes/battles, but sometimes I made exceptions for the OG series because the animal zords were actually pretty cool, unlike the later cars. Until they become a giant robot, at least, I kind of love them, so that was fun to see. I also really like the power disks w/ the animals etched on them.

...MEMORY BLAST we used to have a bunch of those from McDonald’s happy meals, I think when the OG movie came out? Now I am weirdly sad they’re all long gone.

I don’t actually remember the episode they used the nostalgic clips from at the end but oh my god that was a perfect choice. Moderately hilarious that after a whole movie of reminding us that Tommy has a kid with Kat, the clip is clearly as much Tommy Makes Heart Eyes At Kimberly as anything else, but again, equal-opportunity shipper here so it’s cool and I appreciate the gift. Also a good reminder I need to go listen to her music again, her voice is so pretty.

In conclusion: basically we got a bonus 3-part episode 30 years later and I think that is very special and my heart is very full. No complaints. :*)

[soft-boi-eli]

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

<3

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

[i-wont-ever-leave]

How about one where the Aot girls + hange react to the reader playing a role in a action movie but dying in the end either a heroic way or a sad way

You don’t have to write a whole bunch but I thought this would be cool

OMGGG THIS IS AMAZING, i did something, I don't know if that's what you mean, but there it is... thanks <3 (i almost cried doing the part of mikasa's reaction)

× × ×

AOT girls + Hange reacting to your death at the end of a movie

POV: you are an actress and die at the end of the movie

WARNING: death

SPOILERS: Attack on Titan (season 4) and Fear Street 1666 (part 3)

× × ×

MIKASA (reacting to a sad death)

- You and Mikasa have been dating for a long time, Mikasa works with music, she is a successful singer

- You're a successful actress and you're at the peak of your career, you've been called up for a new action movie

- The theme was about giants that invaded the world and there were walls to protect humans

- You are one of the main characters, you were hired to be the comfort character of the movie, as the movie is very terrifying

- During the recordings some scenes were leaked and the audience already loved you and your character

- Mikasa was looking forward to seeing the movie and seeing more of your scenes, as you couldn't tell much about the movie

- One day after reading the script, you were shocked at what would happen to your character

- Mikasa bragged to everyone that your character was awesome and would rock

- On opening day you can take Mikasa with you to watch the premier with the other actors and actresses

- Mikasa was super excited watching your scenes, you were super fun, badass and fought super well, every time mikasa gave you little kisses congratulating you on your work

- Until a tense part of the film came, you were coming back from a war against an "enemy civilization", everyone started celebrating that everything had gone right in the war and that everyone was fine

- The guests at the cinema started to scream with happiness because all the main characters were fine, until...

- "NOOOOO" all the people in the cinema started to scream and cry in despair when they saw the scene of a little girl breaking into the airship and pointing the gun at the character of y/n soon shooting at her

- "WHAAAAAAAT" Mikasa yelled in your ear and you laughed, she was in tears, crying like a baby

- At the end of the movie, the character's friends appeared, taking flowers to the grave and crying a lot

- "Y/N, WHAT THE FUCKING END WAS THAT???? YOU DIED TO A FUCKING CHILD" she said still crying as you got ready for bed

- "baby I'll always be the potato girl, even after I'm dead they'll always remember me and love me... I forgive that little brat who killed me."

HANGE (reacting to a heroic death)

- Hange and you are actresses and were asked to do a thriller/action movie together

- You'll be doing part 3 of a movie, where you'll show the origin of a curse that happens in a quiet little town

- The film is from an ancient time, hange would play the daughter of a pastor and you would be a girl that people believe is a witch

- The recordings go perfectly, your characters like each other, but they live in a forbidden relationship in which people of the time believe to be a sin, so keep it a secret

- The kissing and making out scenes go perfectly, because you two date in real life, so it flows super natural

- The movie starts to get tense when you are caught in the act and strange things start happening in the village

- At home, outside of the performances, you and Hange talk a lot about the scenes, you still don't know what will happen at the end of the film, but she believe you'll be happy...

- Until then you finally read the script at the end and discover that actually y/n dies

- Hange is shocked by this ending, "y/n I can't believe you're going to dieeeee"

- "At least it will be a heroic act right my love, I'll save you from being hanged"

- "Oh my God I love you so much, but in real life know that I would do anything to save you and die in your place"

PIECK (reacting to a dumb death)

- You are a beginning actress and you were asked to do a zombie movie

- Pieck, your girlfriend was super happy to see you in scene

- As soon as the recordings started, you had to travel and you would stay away from pieck, you couldn't talk to her about anything from the movie, so as not to leak information

- the recordings ended quickly as it was a short film and the film's premiere shortly after would be released on a streaming service

- as soon as you came home pieck disturbed you to find out how it went and you just said "you will be surprised"

- Watching the movie together at home she started to get excited watching your scenes, you were the typical asshole character who cursed others and was an idiot and felt superior to everyone

- Pieck counted the minutes you appeared on screen "y/n, love, you already have 15 min of scene going"

- Towards the end of the movie your character starts running in the woods, trips and falls

- "FUCK, S/N GET OFF THE GROUND" Pieck yells at the screen

- "WHAT THE FUCKING END WAS THAT???? YOU TRUMBLE LIKE AN IDIOT AND DIED BEING EAT BY ZOMBIES?????? YOU SAID I WOULD BE SURPRISED BUT IN A 30 MIN MOVIE YOU ONLY APPEARED FOR 16 MIN AND STILL DIED IN THE MOST CLICK AND DUMB WAY IN THE WORLD"

- "BAAAAAABY" you laughed at her reaction

YELENA (reacting to a idiot death)

- "baby, remember the movie I told you I'm going to do?"

- "of course, i'm excited, do you already know what will happen y/n?"

- "yes I'm going to be a zombie" you say laughing

- she looks at you and laugh "that's nice baby, I bet that in the end they'll create a cure using your blood or something like that"

- "not really, it's just that I'm only going to live for about 5 minutes and I'm going to get shot in the face with a shotgun"

- "WHAT THE FUCK Y/N??? DID YOU ENTER THE FUCKING MOVIE AS A ZOMBIE FIGURANT?" she almost died from laughing.

REQUEST OPENED

[liannelara-dracula]

Headcannons of S&M&T and Kino using Instagram? What do you think they would post and how would they use it?

Omg you are genius! This is an amazing ask.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this.

Link to prompt---> HERE

Please join my diabolik lovers group chat! Link---> HERE

Read Laito Sakamaki Fanfic [Dark Theme]---> Here

————————

Shu:

He’s not on too much.

His username is just: shu.sakamaki

He follows his brothers and Yuma to annoy him.

His posts are probably just like landscapes.

Usually of a sunset.

And about his music and classical music he likes.

He also probably posts about the triplets doing something stupid on his story.

While they’re not watching.

He’ll tag them in the story saying, “remember this?”

Even adds special effects just to spice it up.

He has so many followers bc all the girls at his school follow him.

He gets so many dms but leaves them on read.😂😂

He tags his bros to annoy them.

Doesn’t post about his gf very much.

Usually when she’s not looking.

Reiji:

Username: scienceiskey or perfectioniskey

He follows his brothers of course and might even follow Ruki.

He sometimes unfollows his brothers tho if there getting annoying😂😂

But will eventually refollow them.

He posts about his experiments and science in general.

But it’s very aesthetic.

On his story he’ll post pictures of things that are broken in the house and he’ll literally tag all his brothers and ask “who is responsible?” Or “you did it and I know.”😂😂

He’ll also post things about nature on his story.

He never posts selfies.

On his bio he literally tagged shu and said please don’t follow this good for nothing.😂😂

He posts with a schedule.😂

He doesn’t post about his gf at all.

This is cause he doesn’t want to share you with the world.

Laito:

Personal account username is: Laito.is.gay sexy😂😂

He has two accounts: one is a porn one and the other is his personal.

He doesn’t keep them private.

Because he believes in being open.

He follows his brothers and has Ayato on his bio.

On his personal he posts pictures of himself.

Fangirls follow him. So he live streams a lot.

And talks about his day and what annoys him and whose getting on his nerves.

He blows kisses into the camera.

Tells them his plans and has a slogan, “being a hoe never hurt anyone.”😂

He follows the fangirls back.

Answers the dms.

All of them.

On his porn account he says he’s a major in sexology.

If there is an occupation option he types in sexologist.😂😂

If Reiji finds his porn account he’ll block it permanently.😂

With his gf he posts pictures of them on his personal account. And will feature them on his porn account if she’s ok with it.

Kanato:

Username is: teddyisnotbasic or dollsarebetterthanu or better yet, on_wednesdays_we_wear_purple. Even, only.bitches.wear.purple

He is an idol on there.

Every girl loves him.

He sets the Lolita trend.

Posts about doll stuff and it’s super aesthetic.

Everything is very cute.

He uses a lot filters to make the posts all have the same glow.

He also posts about sweets and about teddy too.

He does post about his gf when she wears Lolita clothes with him.

Ayato:

Omg 😱 do not get me started😂😂

His username is: Ayato_Sama_Sakamaki

Which idk if you’ll noticed but his username’s initials spell ass.😂😂

Includes special people in his bio, for example

look @ dee dude: @/laito.is.sexy

Bae: @/y/n’s username

This dude is the meme king and the vine king.

He reposts his favorite vines or memes too.

He makes his own with Laito all the effin’ time!

Which are beyond popular.

Sometimes he features Kino or Subaru in the film and shit just gets wilder.

Literally posts the dumbest shit on his story.

He’ll make live videos about the challenges he does too.

He even has friends from school join his vids.

He has so many followers and he tags his brothers to make them laugh.

Shu usually finds it funny, especially if it’s about dissing Reiji.

And Reiji being the petty ass he is, will just block him for little bit.😂😂

But then he’ll follow him again.

Has a lot of followers like no shit.

He follows a lot of them back too.

Includes his gf in the vines.

Subaru:

Username: im_not_a_damn_car 😂😂😂

He doesn’t follow anyone except for his brothers and his gf.

His account is private so every time Kou sends in a follow request he rejects it.😂😂😂

Doesn’t post anything really.

When he does it’s only for a little bit and then he archives it.

Bc he thinks it’s weird.

Or that the photo turns ugly.

He follows a lot of emo accounts tho.

And emo bands

His bio is emo too.

“how can emptiness be so heavy?”

Will take selfies but ones that don’t show his face very much.

Only uses black emoji hearts.

Doesn’t post about his gf cause that’s private but he has her on his bio.

“Claimed, touch her and you die”

Kino:

Username: ask_yo_girl_about_me

Another vine king

Him an Ayato follow each other.

They r bros—fight me on this but I’m right.

They are always in each other’s videos.

Tags Ayato in a lot of posts

Has lots of followers

Does so many live streams and answers random questions.

Posts late at night, a lot.

He has a lot of reels too.

Uses a lot slang.

Cocky af😏

Has rants sometimes.

He has his gf in his bio and sometimes posts about her.

Mukami

Ruki:

Username: Ruki_grey

He’s not online too much.

Follows his brothers and surprisingly Reiji.

Posts about literature like his favorite book/quotes

But it’s always aesthetic.

He has some pictures of himself but not too many.

He usually has more pictures of his girlfriend tbh.

He is very poetic and on his story he posts about quotes he likes or pictures of his gf.

He has a lot followers and has probably been scouted for modeling.

Yuma:

Username: hotgirlbummer or summerbummer

He posts about the music he likes and gardening.

It’s really about plants and how to grow them.

Has a lot tutorials.

And facts.

Never mind the profanity and his clumsiness in his tutorials.

“Oh shit!” He’d say dropping a shovel.

“Ruki man didn’t set this up right.” He’d complain referring to the space he was using to do the tutorial.

Pots pictures of flowers that have bloomed and veggies that are ready.

He has another account that’s personal where he follows his brothers and posts about rap music.

Or just music he likes.

There are not too many photos.

He posts pictures of his gf on his personal.

He also takes videos of her to annoy her and see her get camera shy.

“Turn it off!” You’d say cover the camera with your hand.

But he of course just doesn’t.

Kou:

Username: koumukami

It’s an official account.

Cause he’s an idol

He has millions of people following him.

He only follows his brothers.

Tries to follow Subaru but it never works😂😂

Calls out people who judge him.

“Hey! I don’t appreciate comments like this on my page.”

He’s slogan is, “I just can’t worry about no haters, I gotta stay on my grind.”

Tags Yuma and teases him about stuff if possible.

He posts about his music.

Has live videos where he talks about anything or where he sings.

Loves to take pictures of himself and he does a lot.

like everyday.

Includes his gf in videos and photos and talks about her non stop.

making fans jelly.

Is very sassy and will post rants if needed.

Responds to his fans’ dms.

Azusa:

Username: softclouds

Has a soft profile.

Things about nature and cute things.

Posts about his gf more than himself.

Or about them together.

Doesn’t have a lot of posts

He gets tagged by his brothers which he follows.

On his story he posts pictures of you or where he’s traveled to.

The filters are soft ones.

He probably has a bio that’s short but simple.

“Hi.....I’m Azusa Mukami.”

Tsukinami

Carla:

Username: imcarlatsukinami or scarftsuki.

He posts about land scapes and literature.

Just really aesthetic.

He has pictures of him and his gf.

Has you in his bio.

Is rarely on.

Follows Shin.

Has a private account.

Doesn’t reply to comments unless it’s from his gf.

Shin:

Username: badassesonly or y/n’s.daddy

He posts so much about his girlfriend and him.

Always about where they go.

He has pics of him and his brother too.

He follows Carla, Kino and Ayato.

He doesn’t make vines but sometimes Kino will ask him to join his.

He posts about food and working out.

On his story he posts about you secretly.

Mostly about your body.

You get mad at him for it.

Tells people to follow you.

Doesn’t live stream.

He’s on a lot.

Loves to use filters on his brother and on his gf.

He posts about animals to.

His account is not private and he has a lot of followers.

[dameronology]

welcome to the jungle {frankie morales}

summary: after taking a job with the delta guys, you cross paths with frankie morales. even though you’re at each other’s throats at first, it proves to be the start of something beautiful.  (for @what-the--curtains​ - i hope you enjoy!!) - 7k words

warnings: swearing, mentions of ptsd

this is kinda ambiguous in terms of the timeline of the film but i sort of hint to the first half being before the events of t.f and the second half being after -- with that said, you can take it as you would like :D

- jazz

Your brother had dog sat for a few days.

In exchange, you were flying out to Colombia in the middle of your work week. 

You believed in favours, but these two did not feel like they were equal. 

Still, you were a person of your word - and getting to fly to South America was exciting. The job itself was exciting, if not a little...eyebrow raising. His friend, an ex-Delta soldier, needed somebody to ID a body. That part didn’t bother you - you were a forensic archaeologist after all and it was quite literally your job description. The suspicious bit was the circumstances under which you were doing it; Santiago Garcia hadn’t been entirely clear on the phone, but he’d said something about witnesses and getting the government off of our backs. You’d met Santiago a few times and you knew what kind of work he did - military stuff. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was probably an under-the-radar kind of affair. But, you’d never been one to back down from a challenge. 

So, here you were on a warm Colombian Tuesday afternoon, suitcase trailing behind you as you trekked towards a dusty old air base. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on your back in a way that had initially been comforting, but was now just plain annoying. You didn’t know how long you were going to be here, but packing three jackets now felt like a stupid idea. The one one you’d worn on the plane over had been long discarded and tied around your waist, which only added to the struggle of dragging your case up the steep, sandy hill. In the distance, you could see an ATC tower glinting under the sun - the streams of light bounced right back off of it, causing you to shield your eyes with your forearm. The taxi you’d gotten from the international airport - not like this sandy little place - had only taken you so far. At least, of all things, the boots you’d opted to wear were built for this kind of thing. 

A few hundred meters up the road, you finally saw another sign of human life. A 4x4 was parked outside the abandoned terminal entrance, three men leaning against the side of it. You spotted Santiago standing a few metres away on his phone, thumbs tapping away. He didn’t look any different to the last time you saw him; dark and curly hair, a semi-friendly smile and stubble littering his chin. You hadn’t seen him since your brother’s birthday party a few months ago. 

‘Hey!’ The former soldier offered you a grin when he saw you, holding his arms open. ‘Long time, no see!’

‘Hey, Santi!’ You replied, giving him a pat on the back as he pulled you into a hug. ‘And yeah, it’s been a while. Then again, when was the last time you were in the country for more than five minutes?’

‘I’m in high demand.’ He shot back. 

Pulling back from the embrace, Santi pointed to his colleagues. There was Will and Benny, two blonde boys, both in military gear. It didn’t take much to figure out that they were brothers; same smirk, same stance, same eyes. Even if Santi hadn’t pointed it out, you would have figured as much. You were naturally deductive - came with the job. After the brothers, there was Frankie. He had dark eyes and hair, the latter of which was covered by his hat. Unlike the other three, he was wearing more casual clothes, just with a tac vest over the top. You kind of got the vibe that he didn’t want to be there - that was...comforting. 

‘What’s all this?’ Frankie asked, gesturing to the heavy metal suitcase behind you. 

‘Just...stuff. Tools.’ You replied. ‘Things I need to do my job, I guess.’

‘How heavy is it?’ 

‘Light enough that I was able to get them onto a commercial flight?’ You offered. 

‘The plane is already at max weight.’ He replied, brown eyes flickering up to meet yours. 

‘God, give ‘em a break, Fish!’ Santi slapped him on the shoulder. ‘It’ll be fine.’

‘Remember last time you said it would be fine-’

‘- hey.’ He cut him off with a harsh look. ‘We don’t talk about that.’

‘So I can bring them?’ You raised your eyebrows. ‘Because I can’t do whatever it is you need to do unless I have them.’

‘Yeah, it’ll be fine.’ Santiago gave you a comforting smile. ‘Let’s head to the jet and we’ll talk about the job.’ 

Swinging your duffle bag back over your shoulder, you picked up your suitcase and began to follow the guys further up the hill. There wasn’t anybody else around -- just sand, sun and rusting old jets. There was one in particular that they seemed to be headed towards. It was only mildly less eroded than the damaged ones around you, but the engines were running and the cargo doors were open. Santiago took your bag from your hands as you approached it, tossing it in with the other luggage. 

‘Do not throw that one, Garcia!’ You demanded, flinching slightly as he took your suitcase. 

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ He shot back. 

‘Sure thing.’ You rolled your eyes at him. ‘You brought a medkit right?’

‘No. Why?’

‘There’s one in my duffle bag.’ You replied. ‘Side pocket. Can you grab it?’

‘We don’t need one, we’ll be fine-’

‘- Santiago Garcia, do you want me to report back to my brother that you took his baby sibling on a jungle-wide expedition without the correct medical supplies?’ You challenged. 

Santi swallowed, mind briefly flashing back to the time he’d almost been decked by said brother for letting you walk home alone. ‘Fine.’

Your triumphant smile only lasted a split second; as soon as your eyes fell on the plane, you realised you still had to get on it. Fuck. 

The engines seemed to be working fine, but it was just...old. And eroding. And making a funny sound. You were by no means an engineer, but even just binging a few episodes of Air Crash Investigations made you feel qualified enough to know that this was not where it was at in terms of air safety. You could have taken it up with Frankie, but he didn’t seem entirely approachable. 

You did trust Santi, however - though sometimes that seemed a little against your better judgement. Every crazy story that your brother had relayed back to you from their time in the military involved him making questionable decisions. Hopefully, opting to fly this hunk of metal wouldn’t be one of them. Here’s to hoping it was aerodynamic. 

‘Are you getting in or…’ Frankie peered down at you from the stairs, eyebrows raised. 

‘Yeah, sorry.’ You blinked in surprise. ‘This thing is safe, right?’

‘What’s it to you?’

‘What is it to me?’ You snorted. ‘Just, y’know, that I’m about to fly a few hundred thousand feet in the air and if it falls out of the sky I’ll die.’

‘I know what I’m doing.’ Frankie shut the door behind you as you climbed aboard, twisting the handle shut. ‘I’ve been flying for years.’

‘I’m not saying it’s you.’ You brushed past him, shoulders bumping as you did. ‘Captain fucking Sully couldn’t fly this thing.’

‘The guy from Monster’s Inc?’ 

‘No, the guy who landed the plane on the Hudson? They made a movie about it, with Tom Hanks-’

‘- you should sit down now.’ Frankie turned away from you. ‘We’re about to take off.’

Your mouth fell open in slight disbelief. What an asshole. 

Santi called your name, signalling for you to sit with him in the cockpit. The seats on the plane hardly looked comfortable, and your brain was mentally working out if it was safer to sit over the wing in a crash, or by the tail. You’d definitely seen it in a documentary once, but you couldn’t remember exactly what they said. Perhaps the best option was to just be less dramatic. 

Taking a seat between Frankie and Santi, you pulled your seatbelt on and shuffled awkwardly. This was fine. Absolutely fine. Frankie was a trained pilot (and a dickhead, but that didn’t take away from his flying skills) and you were going to be fine. Fiiiiine. Maybe if you said it once more, you’d believe yourself. You were going to be fine. Yeah, there we go. 

A few deep breaths and you were certain. Or, at least you’d convinced yourself to be certain. 

‘So.’ Your eyes momentarily flicked over to where Frankie was adjusting some controls. ‘What exactly am I doing here?’

‘A few months ago, the boys and I were involved in the shoot-out.’ Santi began. ‘Pretty standard for the type of operation we were on.’

‘Right. Standard office work.’ You muttered. ‘Do go on.’

‘We thought everyone who had witnessed it had been recorded.’ He continued. ‘And everyone who we spoke to verified that it was a justified shootout. No dirty work, no ulterior motive. All valid, from a legal perspective.’

You thinned your eyes. ‘I don’t think I like where this is going.’

‘We ID’d all the bodies at the time.’ He said. ‘Including a Ricky Martinez. Except now, a guy claiming to also be Ricky Martinez has come forward, claiming that his version of events is a little different. Like, different enough to incriminate us.’

‘He’s lying, right? You guys were the good ones?’ You urged. Santiago’s silence was anything but comforting. ‘Right?’

‘Morals are all a matter of perspective.’ He replied. ‘Our labs ID’d Martinez’ body twice but we need a third party opinion before we can completely dispel the guy pretending to be him.’

‘Guess that’s where I come in?’ You asked, leaning further back into the seat as the jet began to move. 

‘Exactamente.’ Santi nodded. 

That didn’t sound too bad. Between excavating the grave, running tests and returning the body, it would take a few days tops. You could manage that. 

The jet began to pick up speed, making its ascent towards the runway. Frankie did look like he knew what he was doing -- heck, the man looked bored, even.  He barely even had to look at the dash controls as it moved forward, hands moving freely and easily to manoeuvre the plane down the runway. 

‘What are you staring at?’ Frankie glanced over at you. 

‘N-nothing.’ You replied.  ‘Shouldn’t you be focusing on the road-’

‘- that’s a runway.’ He cut you off. 

‘Whatever.’

You were thrown backwards in your chair from the momentum of the take off. The plane angled upwards as it went up in the air, tilting sideways as it balanced out. You felt your stomach drop as the ground disappeared from beneath you, the push of the engines pulling you up higher into the sky. There was a clunk, signalling that the landing gear had retracted. 

Well, the plane had fulfilled its first purpose: taking off. That was a good sign. 

‘So,’ Benny peered over at you. ‘What’s your callsign gonna be?’

‘My name, presumably.’ You quirked a brow at him. 

‘We have Ironhead, Catfish and Pope.’ He continued. ‘But Will and I were talking, and we thought Barbie was gonna fit well.’ 

‘Oh, really?’ You sniffed. ‘And why might that be?’

‘Because you’re young, and pretty hot-’

‘- so your call sign is Benny, right?’ You cut him off. ‘Short for Benjamin? That’s really clever. Did you come up with it yourself?’

‘Maybe Eye Candy will be beter-’

Benny was cut off when you reached across, leaning over Santi to smack him in the chest with your balled up fist. All four of them jumped in surprise at your action - clearly, you weren’t somebody to be fucked with. You hadn’t worked your ass for years to get your degree to get discredited like that. 

‘Make a comment like that again and I’ll drop kick your ass out of this plane.’ You jabbed your finger towards him. 

Benny thinned his eyes at you. ‘Frankie wouldn’t let you do that. Right, Cat?’

‘You heard ‘em.’ Frankie’s eyes didn’t move from the clouds ahead. 

--

To give credit where credit was due, Frankie was good at landing planes. 

Specifically, he was good at landing planes in places where planes should not have been landed. Not that he’d had much of a choice when the engines gave in half way through the journey, a couple hundred miles over the thick Colombian jungle. 

In short, you’d been right the entire time. The damn thing wasn’t safe. Of course, you weren’t going to say I told you so right then, since it felt like a little bit of a sensitive subject. 

Now, the five of you were standing next to a pile of what-used-to-be-a-plane, defeat plastered over every one of your individual faces. You were lucky to all have made it out okay - just about. Santiago had taken a hit to the head, Benny had bitten his tongue pretty hard when you’d collided with the ground (fitting) and Frankie had split his head open. You and Will were the only ones who hadn’t sustained any injuries. He had proven to be much more tolerable than his brother. 

‘Okay, we just gotta…’ you looked around, eyes taking in the debris around you. ‘We just gotta stay calm-’

‘- stay calm?’ Frankie cut you off. ‘You’re the reason the fucking thing went down! If you hadn’t taken all that extra weight-’

‘- do you ever shut up, Morales?’ You snapped. ‘And I’m no genius but I don’t think the engines catching fire was anything to do with me bringing an extra bag onto the plane!’

‘I’m the pilot.’ He reminded you. ‘I know what I’m talking about.’

‘Maybe it was the weight of your ego that made it go down.’ You chided. 

‘Hey - Patrick, Spongebob!’ Will finally yelled. Both your heads snapped in his direction, eyes wide. ‘Can you keep it in your pants for two minutes so we can work out how to make it through the night?’

‘Right, sorry.’ You nodded. 

You glanced around the crash site, brain calculating for a minute as you took in what little was left. The plan had landed on its belly and skidded for a few hundred metres; consequently, most of the luggage had come out on the way. That left you with the one remaining bag, the medkit you’d scared Santi into bringing and the strewn camping kit that had been ditched in the back of the fuselage. 

Pulling your phone out your pocket, you sighed when you realised that you had no signal. What had you expected? Four bars in the middle of the jungle? Probably not realistic. You did, however, have a compass app. That was something. You thought for a moment, glancing between the app and the sun’s position in the sky. It was splintering through the trees, washing heat over you like a bucket of cold water. There was a small stream a few metres away, which was a source of water at least. 

‘It’s just gone four, maybe five in the afternoon.’ You announced. ‘So we have about three hours till the sun starts to set. The water in the stream runs that way so if we follow it, we’ll find the source. People are more likely to set up civilization around a source of water.’ 

All four of them looked at you like kids who had lost their parents in Walmart.  Were they really ex-military? 

‘So, what?’ Benny frowned. ‘We...set up a new civilisation?’

‘Oh my days.’ You muttered under your breath. ‘I am spoon-feeding this to you! It means that there will be a town with people.’ 

‘That’s smart.’ Santi nodded. 

‘But before we do that, we gotta sort this out. Will, d’you know how to check for concussion?’ You asked, to which he nodded. ‘Okay, you check Santi and I’ll clean up Frankie’s head. Then we gotta gather those camping supplies and head east. Best case scenario, we find a town before sundown. Worst case scenario, we camp out for the night.’

‘Who put you in charge?’ Frankie asked.

‘Me.’ You replied. 

Taking the medkit from Santi’s hands, you quietly thanked him and led Frankie over to some rocks. He didn’t seem all that pleased when you forced him to sit on one - and he was even less pleased when you pulled his hat off. It revealed a tangle of dark curls, some of which you had to push back to get to the mark on his head. Some may have debated the importance of mentioning such a detail, but you couldn’t help but notice how soft his hair was. 

You knelt down in front of him, pulling the supplies out of the little medical kit. There weren't many, but there was enough to give him something temporary till you got to a proper hospital. If you got a proper hospital. 

‘It’s not too deep.’ You observed, running your thumb over the creases of his forehead. ‘Just a couple stitches at worst.’

‘Don’t you normally stitch up bodies?’ Frankie asked. His brown eyes were glued to the floor, following the outlines of the boot-prints that you’d left. 

‘Yeah, it’s the same kinda principle though.’ You laughed slightly. ‘Despite your attitude, I’m not gonna give you Y-incision stitches.’

‘Thanks.’

‘At least not in a place people can see them.’

Frankie snorted, but it translated to a hiss of pain as you dabbed an alcohol wipe at his forehead. Despite everything, you had a slight admiration for him. He’d managed to land the plane safely as the situation allowed and despite a few minor injuries, things could have been much worse. You didn’t quite feel like vocalising that to him when you were still stranded in the middle of the jungle, but if you ever got out? You might get Santi to pass the message on. 

‘D’ you think it’ll scar?’ Frankie quietly asked. 

‘Maybe.’ You admitted. ‘Just take a deep breath.’

‘Where did you even learn to do this stuff?’ He asked, letting out another small grunt of discomfort. ‘The stitches and the compass shit.’

You shrugged. ‘I’ve been around the block a few times. You kinda learn to be prepared.’

‘Really? As a morgue worker?’

‘Not a morgue worker.’ You grumbled. ‘Then again, I am stabbing a needle through your skin so I suppose I’ll allow the discrepancy.’ 

‘What is it you do then?’

‘I’m a forensic archaeologist.’ You explained. ‘So it’s my job to retrospectively work out how people died, whether it be because their body was found a long time after they died or because they had to be exhumed from their original resting place.’

Gently pulling the needle back from Frankie’s forehead, you cut the thread and dabbed it again with an alcohol wipe. You brushed his hair back down and placed his hat back on his head, offering him a smile. For the first time since you’d met him, he returned the gesture. 

You dusted off your knees and took a place on the rock beside Frankie, examining your handy work. Considering you’d been in a plane crash not quite an hour ago, it wasn’t too bad. At least if it did scar, it was in a place his hair covered up. And in your defense, scarring wasn’t usually something you had to worry about with your other...patients. They usually went back in the ground not long after you dealt with them. 

‘You’ll wanna sit down for a minute.’ You replied. ‘D’you feel dizzy at all? Sick?’

‘I was just in a plane crash.’

‘Me too, funnily enough.’ You rolled your eyes at him. ‘I s’pose it’s the most interesting job I’ve worked in a while.’

‘Same here.’ Frankie said. ‘I normally work for a flight school, so this is...something else.’

‘It’ll make me grateful when I get back to the office.’ You agreed. ‘Because it has four walls, air conditioner and co-workers who don’t give me ridiculous nicknames.’

‘Right.’ He snorted. ‘Benny can be...Benny. He doesn’t mean to be an asshole.’ 

‘Benny wasn’t the asshole.’ You quipped, nudging him with your elbow.

At least Frankie had proven now that he could talk to you without being insufferable. You couldn’t work out if you’d warmed to him or if he’d warmed to you, but doing somebody’s stitches was unarguably one hell of an icebreaker. He was just a little closed off; quiet and reserved, you figured. You didn’t know what him and the Delta guys had been through, but Santi had mentioned a few things in passing that pointed to a heavy past. That was something you could relate to - your job was no walk in the park either 

‘It’s not...personal.’ Frankie glanced off into the distance. 

Will had managed to salvage the remaining bag from the jet, meaning that Santiago could use it as a seat. Benny was sitting with them, talking amongst themselves. You would have to move soon, in order to find a suitable place to camp before sundown, but taking a minute to recover from the last hour was also important. You’d barely stopped to sit down since the plane had gone down, and now you had, the shock had hit you. Your suspicions about safety had actually been correct. Not that it mattered now, but at least you had a plan to get everyone back to civilization as soon as possible. 

‘So you being an ice cold bitch isn’t to do with me? That’s a relief.’ You joked. Frankie smiled in response; his first genuine one since you’d met. 

‘The witness that you were going to ID was from the last job we all worked together.’ He explained ‘It went bad. Really bad.’

‘From what Santi said, it sure did sound like it.’ You replied. 

‘I hadn’t seen anything as bad as we did then since I was stationed out in the war zones.’ He continued. ‘So being back here, and being with the guys, has just put me on edge. I’m sorry if I was an asshole.’

‘You don’t have to say sorry.’ You shook your head. ‘I mean...actually, yeah, you were an asshole but I get it.’

‘You do?’

‘Forensic archeology is no walk in the park either.’ You replied. ‘It’s my job to work out how people have died. Most of my work is on crime scenes or in war zones so I’ve seen some...dark stuff.’

‘It sticks with you.’ Frankie quietly murmured. 

‘Yeah, it does.’ You said. ‘I know you might not think it on the surface, because it’s the usual sort of job that leaves stuff weighing on your shoulders-’

‘- doesn’t matter.’ He cut you off. ‘Trauma is trauma. Regardless of how you got it or where it came from, it’s valid.’

You gave him a small smile. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. 

---

Later that night -- and after a few hours of walking -- you and the guys had settled down into a makeshift campsite. It was just at the edge of a clearing, not too far from what looked to be a small town glinting in the distance. You did offer to keep going, but between the injuries the group had sustained, it was easier to stop for the night. You had enough of a combined skillset to find some fruit growing to snack on and to start a fire.

Santiago, Will and Benny had long passed out. It wasn’t until after they had done so that you realised there was absolutely no room left in the tent. It was only built for two people, let alone five. Where that left you in terms of sleeping arrangements, you didn’t know, but the chances of even getting to rest felt low. Your brain was on full overdrive, tired eyes darting constantly around the distance. How safe was this place? You’d managed to convince yourself that the plane was secure, and that had gone down like...well, like the fucking plane. 

You were sitting on a log, drawing pictures in the dirt with a stick. It was just something to keep your brain occupied as you fought off the tiredness. The jet-lag from your flight to Colombia had hit in full force and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into your bed -- the bed that wasn’t there. 

‘So, are you keeping a look-out?’ 

You jumped at the sound of Frankie’s voice, twisting around to face him. ‘Something like that.’

‘I can take over if you want.’ He offered. ‘You should get some rest. You’ve saved our asses like three times today.’

‘Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t fit into that tent.’ You replied. ‘I can hear them snoring from here.’

‘Is it worse than the alternative of me keeping you company?’ He softly smiled, taking a seat beside you. ‘I’ll promise not to be an asshole anymore.’

‘We spoke about this.’ You reminded him. ‘I get it. It’s okay.’

‘I still feel bad.’ He sighed. ‘Especially after you stitched me up and led us through the jungle. We woulda eaten something poisonous and died if you hadn’t stopped Benny going near those mushrooms.’

You chuckled. ‘Don’t feel bad, okay? You’ve had bad experiences before and it’s natural to be anxious.’

‘I shouldn’t have taken it out on you-’

‘- Frankie!’ You cut him off with a groan. ‘I’m about to be an asshole if you don’t stop saying sorry.’

‘So we’re good?’ 

‘We’re good.’ You smiled. ‘Thanks for keeping me company.’

‘Santiago, in no uncertain terms, made it clear that he would come for our kneecaps if we left you alone in the dark.’ Frankie admitted. ‘I think he likes you.’

You chuckled, shaking your head. ‘I think you have the wrong idea. Santi is only so protective of me because he’s one of my brother’s best friends, and I guess by extension, that kind of makes him my brother too. They go right back to high school, and then they did the academy together.’

‘That’s a long time.’ Frankie nodded. ‘So you and Santi, that’s...nothing, right?’

‘Absolutely not.’ You snorted derivatively. ‘And if it was, my brother would probably end him.’

‘So,’ He took a stick from the floor, joining in with random doodles you were carving into the ground. ‘Be honest: if these stitches scar, d’you think I’ll look rugged and handsome?’

You peered over at him, eyes creasing as your smile grew wider. ‘Sure. Why not?’

‘Ouch.’ He dramatically grabbed his heart, shaking his head. ‘The correct answer was no Frankie, you already look rugged and handsome.’

‘Okay, it would make you look more rugged and handsome.’ You rolled your eyes. ‘Better?’

‘Better.’ He grinned triumphantly. ‘When was the last time you stitched up a living, breathing human?’

‘College, I think.’ You replied. ‘My roommate got into a fight and didn’t have insurance, so I did some makeshift stitches with a cheap sewing kit we found at a 24/7 corner shop.’

‘We’ve all done it.’ He laughed. ‘I’m glad the stitches you gave me were actual, professional ones...right?’

‘Obviously!’ You exclaimed. ‘You’ll probably want to get them redone when we get back to...y’know, civilisation.’

‘Naturally.’ He nodded. ‘I appreciate you stitching me up. The others would not have been able to do that if it had been just us.’

You shrugged. ‘It’s nothing, really.’

‘What if - and feel free to blatantly reject me for my earlier actions - I took you out for a drink when we got back? Y’know, if we ever get back to civilisation.’

‘Yeah, okay.’ You smiled. 

Normally, Frankie wouldn’t have been that bold -- and you would have absolutely rejected someone who had made such a terrible first impression. But, said impression had changed. He’d been an asshole but you could see why; you could reason with it, even. God knew that you also had a tendency to become withdrawn and irritable when you were retracting back to the darker corners of your mind. Bad days on the job were hard to shake. They stuck with you for a long time. 

The conversation continued, though you couldn’t recall exactly what it was about. Nothing and everything. Growing up and going to college - or for Frankie, the military. You compared stories of Santiago; Frankie’s were better, but yours were pretty good. He told you about how he’d got his piloting license back, and you in return offered a tale of the time that your brother had gotten a DUI. 

Between the warmth of Frankie beside you and the crackling fire in front of you, it became harder and harder to fight off your exhaustion. You would have been tired enough if you were from this timezone, but your body clock was hours out of whack. With your eyelids getting heavier and the dark sky above you, it wasn’t long before you’d flopped into the pilot’s side with defeat. 

‘’M sorry.’ You murmured. 

‘It’s fine, you don’t have to apologise.’ Frankie replied. He moved his arm around your shoulders to support your weight from falling off the log - also to give a sign that he was more than okay with it. 

You rested your chin on his shoulder, peering up at him. Now that his cold facade had slipped away, you could admire him a little bit more. Warm chocolate eyes, a strong jawline, and a face that just felt kind, even despite initial impressions. The warm glow of the fire illuminated his face with a soft hue, making the lighter tones of his eyes a little more visible. 

You were both still lingering from the adrenaline of the plane crash, hearts pounding in your chests and brains wrestling with the idea that you’d both made it out with minor injuries. Was that what had made you bold? The sudden reminder of your mortality? Because you never would have kissed him if it had been a normal night.

He met you halfway, lips gently capturing yours in a soft kiss. They were a little chapped from the humidity of the jungle air, but intoxicating and enchanting all the same. He tasted very, very faintly of tobacco and a little bit of mint -- had the bastard had chewing gum this whole time? Not that it was relevant. Not that anything else in the world was relevant. Not when Frankie Morales was kissing you.

Neither of you said anything after; he simply pulled you into his chest, resting his head on top of yours. Between the mental exhaustion and emotional ping-pong game that you were partaking in, you wanted to sleep. 

And sleep, you did; tangled together on the dirt of the jungle floor, not a worry in the world. 

---

Time passed. 

It passed quickly and slowly all at once. 

Once you’d found a little town and got on a coach to Medellin, you did what you came to do: identified the body, cleared their names and closed the case. Your duties at your actual job called you back home and less than a day later, you were on a plane home. 

After that, everything was a blur. You tried to keep in contact with everyone, but life was demanding as ever. Thanks to a promotion at work, you were being kept busy 24/7. Santiago finally retired from active duty and moved back to your hometown, near to his parents and to the guys. Even with the group chat he’d made - affectionately titled Plane Pals - it was hard to constantly keep up with everyone. 

You and Frankie had texted for a while, but it sort of faded out. Whenever you were able to make it back home to see him and everyone else, he was busy. You’d both tried to make plans a few times but they’d never come to fruition. You still texted each other happy birthday every year, but that was it. Like that night in the jungle, he quickly became a thing of the past. A distant memory that sometimes felt like a dream. 

It made a good dinner table story, especially for first dates. You told it on many actually, actually -- only one ever went well. So well, in fact, that you’d ended up in a four-year-relationship. A marine biologist called Simon; not boring, but not necessarily exciting either. He was nice...enough. Nice enough that you didn’t find a reason to leave. 

Looking back, you probably had a million reasons to leave. He was an asshole, for one. The last time he’d treated you right had been your first anniversary - and for some reason, you’d stuck around to celebrate your second and third and fourth. Everyone around you was settling down, and you felt that pressure too. 

Even Santiago fucking Garcia, the biggest flirt and bachelor you knew, was getting married. You’d RSVP’d a plus one - Simon, obviously - but the week before you were due to fly home for the wedding, things had finally reached a bitter end. You weren’t sad about him; more sad that you’d wasted four years of your life on the Walmart equivalent to Ned Flanders. 

On the brightside, your brother’s respective relationship had also gone through a shitty demise, meaning you could move your seats at the reception next to one another. Like Santiago, he had also retired from the military and was living his best life - even though it had taken six months for him to start speaking to his friend again. He hadn’t taken well to the idea of Santiago taking you on a job that left you in the middle of the jungle. 

‘People are gonna ask where Simon is, aren’t they?’ You muttered. 

‘Cheer up.’ Your brother nudged you. ‘I know what’ll help - let’s make a bet.’

‘What?’ You groaned. 

You were standing outside the church, waiting to be called inside. You’d waved at Benny and Will as they came in. The latter had kids of his own now, but Benny was focusing on his boxing career. He hadn’t called you Barbie again though, so that was something. 

‘I bet you twenty bucks that Santiago is divorced by the end of the year.’ Your brother grinned. 

‘No! That’s horrible.’ You slapped his arm. 

‘Whatever. That’s $20 you’re missing out on.’

‘I hate that we’re related.’

‘Me too.’

‘Shut up!’

‘You said it first!’

The two of you were cut off by someone clearing their throats.

You almost did a double take when you saw Frankie Morales stood in front of you. He didn’t look that different to his six-year-old Whatsapp profile picture; he wasn’t wearing his hat, instead wearing his hair pushed back, and rather than his old tac vest, he had a suit and tie on. You had a sort of vision of him in your head from that night, but it didn’t do him justice. He was even better in person. 

‘Catfish!’ Your brother jeered. ‘Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes!’ 

‘Says you!’ Frankie gave him a slap on the back. His eyes then fell to you, and his demeanour changed a little. ‘Hey.’

‘Frankie fucking Morales.’ You murmured. ‘How’re you?’

‘Thriving.’ He replied. ‘You?’

‘Also thriving.’ You smiled. 

‘I was sorry to hear about the divorce, man.’ Your brother, as clueless as ever, didn’t sense the sudden onset of tension. 

‘Divorce?’ You blinked in surprise. ‘Is that really something you should bring up-’

‘- you brought up your break up at dinner last week-’

‘- only because you brought up yours first-’

‘- guys!’ Frankie cut you off. ‘It’s fine, really. I appreciate you looking out for me but it was a while ago now. Besides, I’ve got Leya. She takes up all my time.’

‘Leya?’ your eyebrows shot up. ‘Is that your girl-’

You were interrupted by a bell ringing, signalling that it was time for the guests to enter the church. Did the universe hate you? What kind of fucking dreadful timing was that? 

‘I’ll see you guys at the reception, right?’ Frankie asked. 

‘Sure thing, dude.’ Your brother waved him off.

The pilot turned on his heel, giving you a smile as he headed for the church. He was the best man after all, and his presence probably was needed. 

‘You asshole!’ You have his shoulder another whack. ‘I was talking to him!’

‘Jesus, calm down! And why do you hit so hard?’ He huffed. ‘What’s so important?’

‘Who’s Leya?’

‘I dunno! Do I look like Gossip Girl?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re mean.’ He grabbed you by the arm, dragging you towards the church entrance. ‘And mum made me promise to make sure you wouldn’t play Doodle Jump during the vows.’

‘That was one time!’ You snapped. 

Thankfully, the actual ceremony passed quicker than you thought. Santiago’s new wife was beautiful -- you hadn’t met Yovanna before, but both her and Santi had greeted you with a bright smile as you entered the reception. It was in a large hotel room, decorated with strings of fairy lights and a large dance floor. A lot of thought had clearly got into it. 

It made you a little sad to think about. How many weddings had you been to in the last five years? How many times had people looked at you and your former boyfriend and said you’ll be next. You weren’t even sad about him. If anything, you were mad that you’d let yourself think about marrying him. You could do better. You were going to do better.

‘Is that girl over there eying me up?’ Your brother’s voice pulled you back to reality. ‘I swear she’s been giving me heart eyes since they brought dessert out.’

‘Which one?’

‘The one in the cute dress! Brown hair, dark eyes-’

‘- that’s Santi’s cousin.’ You rolled your eyes. 

‘And?’

‘Santi’s cousin who is a lesbian?’ You tried to suppress a laugh. ‘Who has been with her wife for 11 years and has three children?’

He groaned. ‘Why must you find such joy in my pain?’

‘It’s what siblings are for.’ You grinned. ‘I’m gonna get a drink. D’you want anything?’

He only let out another groan in response - you took that as a no, simply giving him a pat on the head as you stood up. 

You’d tried to ask around with a few mutual friends if they knew who Leya was -- either they hadn’t seen Frankie in a while, or they pushed to know why you were asking. You couldn’t exactly play that one as suave. Nobody took a casual interest in the personal life of somebody they barely knew -- even though you did know Frankie. Quite well, actually. He’d practically recounted his entire life story to you that night. Told you things that not even Santi knew. 

‘What can I get for you?’ The bartender asked. 

‘Uhhh…’ you glanced up at the menu. ‘Is it an open bar?’

‘If I had enough money for every time someone asked me that tonight, I’d be able to pay for all the drinks.’  She shot back. ‘So, no.’

‘Jeez.’ You muttered. ‘How much for a double rum?’

‘Fifteen bucks.’

‘Fifteen?!’ You spluttered. ‘How much is tap water?’

‘Y’know, I still owe you a drink.’

Like earlier, Frankie had suddenly appeared unannounced. You couldn’t help but grin when you saw him leaning against the bar beside you, a goofy smile plastered across his face and his undone tie wrapped around his left hand. Your eyes flickered up to his forehead, examining it for a minute. 

‘So the stitches didn’t scar?’ You asked. 

He pulled back his hair, shaking his head. ‘Nope.’ 

‘You lucky duck.’ You quipped. ‘So. About that drink?’

‘This shit is insanely overpriced.’ Frankie said. ‘I can steal us a bottle of wine if you’re willing to hide and drink it?

You glanced over at your brother, who was now crying to one of Santiago’s great aunts, piling cake into his mouth. 

‘Yeah. I’m down for that.’ 

--

Five minutes later, you and Frankie were out in the gardens of the hotel. It had been raining all day, but there was an undercover patio not too far from the main reception; the walls were made out of white wood, with red roses trailing up the side. The fairly lights tangled beside them illuminated the place in a gentle glow, blue evening sky providing a beautiful contrast. Even though the showers had stopped, you could still smell the rain in the fresh evening air. 

‘Wine?’ Frankie led you to a seat by the edge of the patio. ‘I stole it from the head table so it's the expensive shit.’

He tore the cork off, handing you the bottle. Neither of you had brought glasses, but you didn’t mind drinking from the same bottle. You’d kissed already - what was the point in formalities? 

‘I hate it to break it to you.’ You paused to wipe your mouth, recovering from the bitter taste. ‘But that’s champagne.’

‘Still alcohol, right?’ He took it from your hands, taking a swig. ‘And it’s free!’

‘You’re right.’ You chuckled. ‘So...I believe we have four years worth of catching up to do.’

‘D’you wanna go first?’ Frankie offered. ‘I heard you got a promotion.’

‘I did, yeah.’ You grinned. ‘It’s a thousand times more work but I get more control over what jobs I take, so that’s good.’

‘Anyone special in your life?’ He asked. 

‘Cut the shit, Frankie.’ You groaned. ‘I know that Santi updates you on every second of my life as it happens.’

‘You got me there. He mentioned a...Steven?’

‘A Simon.’ You corrected. ‘But Dickhead or Asshole works just as well.’

‘Damn, I’m sorry.’ Frankie gave your leg a light squeeze. ‘What happened?’

‘He didn’t deserve me and I stayed with him too long.’ You shrugged. ‘I didn’t think I had a reason to leave.’ 

‘Not having a reason to leave isn’t a reason to stay.’ He murmured. 

You didn’t know whether to bring up the D-Word. D-i-v-o-r-c-e. He hadn’t seemed that phase when your sibling had so eloquently and gently brought it up earlier, but you knew Frankie was good at putting on a front. It was why you’d clashed when you first met. 

‘Am I allowed to ask?’ You quietly said. 

‘It’s nothing bad.’ He shrugged. ‘I mean it is bad, terrible actually, but it was two years ago now. We only got married because she got pregnant and then left the minute our daughter was born.’

‘Leya.’ You didn’t mean to say the name out loud, but it made sense now. ‘Leya is your daughter.’

‘Yeah.’ Frankie warmly smiled. ‘I hate what happened but I’d do it all over again ten times if it meant having her in my life.’

He spent the next few minutes telling you about her. She was named Leya after a certain space princess, though Frankie had changed the spelling to make it less obvious (to which you had argued it was still quite obvious, but a cool name nonetheless). She was currently three years old, often got confused between Spanish and English words, and enjoyed Power Rangers. All in all, she sounded like a great kid. Above all, it was obvious how much she meant to Frankie. His whole face lit up when he spoke about her. Her mum was entirely out the picture, meaning he was doing the whole thing by himself. 

‘She sounds amazing.’ You beamed, peering down at the picture on his phone. ‘She looks so much like you.’

‘Thank God.’ Frankie murmured. ‘I dunno if it being a dad has made me more introspective, but I think about that night a lot.’

‘Me too.’ You replied. ‘Not the thing about being a dad. The other part.’

He laughed. ‘I got that.’

‘What do you think about?’

‘You, mostly.’ He admitted. ‘The fact I was an asshole. The fact you basically saved us all. The fact I never got to take you out for that drink.’

You took a swig of champagne, poking his arm. ‘We’re doing it now!’

‘I know.’ He grinned. ‘I just...I know it was only one night but we might not have been around to tell the story if you hadn't been there.’

‘You were the one who landed the plane safely.’

‘Which wouldn’t have mattered if you didn’t do all the stuff after.’ He reminded you. ‘The thing I think about most, though, is that kiss.’

You froze slightly, head slowly turning to look at him. He was peering down at you now, brown eyes intently gazing at you, not unlike they had the first time you’d been in this position. Now, you weren’t both beyond exhausted, or stuck in the middle of the jungle. You were safe and sound, right here with one another. 

‘It was a pretty good kiss.’ You edged slightly closer towards him. 

‘A very good kiss.’

‘Maybe we should do it-’

Frankie cut you off, meeting your demand before you could even finish it. He was just as you remembered; chapped-but-soft lips with a hint of mint. No tobacco this time. He gently placed a hand on the back of your neck, pulling you further up towards him. It was like you were both reliving the memory of that night in a dream - something you’d done many times. Your memory of it had faded over time but this? This was vivid and giddy and entirely consuming all at once. 

‘You know,’ Frankie pulled back for a moment, keeping his hand on the back of your neck and forehead pressed to yours. ‘I asked Santi about you a few years ago, pretty much the minute I realised I was ready to move on from...her.’ 

‘You did?’ You murmured. 

‘That’s when he said you’d been seeing Simon for a few weeks.’ He admitted. ‘I was gutted. Kept wishing I’d got there first.’

‘I wish you had got to me first.’ You lightly chuckled. ‘It would have saved me a lot of pain.’

‘If I were to ask out now, what would you say?’

‘Fuck yes, obviously.’

‘Good.’ He pressed a brief peck to your lips. ‘I admire the enthusiasm.’

That night - well, actually it had probably been the night in Colombia, depending on who you asked - marked the start of a fresh start for you both. What had initially started out as an attempt to seek solace in one another during a difficult time had led you to something more: something whole, something fulfilling. 

If someone had told you the first time you’d met Frankie Morales that the unfriendly pilot was going to become the best thing that ever happened to you, you probably would have slapped them. Or laughed, or cried, or all three. That night you met, you thought the emotions you were feeling were from the plane crash -- adrenaline and warmth and panic. 

As it would turn out, it was simply the feeling of knowing -- knowing that Frankie Morales was it.

[insufferablelust]

I ummm woupd it be okay to ask you to do a mgg x reader smut. Like he ties reader up and fucks her but like sticks his fingers in her mouth to suck on but she is also really bratty and likes to make things hard for him (like at work) and just super dom mgg and really bratty reader. Idk I'm awkward sorry you dont have to write it I just thought maybe a suggestion I mean I really like your working and all

Finally new smut! yay! anyways i combined these two amazing mgg concepts from my queens and then turn them into this, adding my spice into it as well so i hope y’all love this! thank you for the reqs queens!! MASTERLIST OF ALL MY WORKS.

WARNINGS : Dom!Mgg x Sub!Reader, Degradation by name calling, Rough sex, Oral fixation, back seat abandoned building car sex, exhibitionism, overstimulation, lots of teasing, and all the good stuff. Plus fluffs!!! Read at your own risk❤️ leave a like and reblog, thanks!

———————

Having an actor as a boyfriend surely has its perks, one being the fact that i always gets to see how Matthew make his own version of art, his visions, as well as his god gifted talent, i must say that it warms my heart to no end, seeing him so passionate about something that he can even do in his sleep.

With perks, comes the not so pleasant ones, one of them is not seeing him for weeks sometimes. His busy schedule has put my relationship through some rocky beginnings, thankfully we made agreements and that’s settled. Of course, i could visit him whenever i want, even if it requires a plane ticket— he’ll provide it (not that you’ll take it.) but today is one of those days when the amount of missing him became greater than to actually wait patiently.

The location where Matthew currently filming, wasn’t that far from our shared house so it shouldn’t be that bad right?.... Wrong. A month into the filming process i felt the neediness present, he comes home every night yet you still miss him. He filmed during the day mostly, coming home late already tired, and then when his director gave him a time off or day or two break, he spent it by rereading scripts or working on directing his small projects.

It’s not that i didn’t understand his schedule, but something about having him so close yet so far away just chipped away any patience i have left in me. Frustrated, i grabbed the car keys and decided to go to where he was filming. I knew that he wouldn’t have a problem with you coming in, but I knew that would definitely have a problem or two about what i’ve been planning.

So you drove for an hour, until you reached the filming set, finding yourself growing expectedly needy and nervous. You texted him saying that you were on your way, the way he answered left you giggling and smiling like a schoolgirl.

“Sure sweetheart, come on over, my lunch break is at 12.15, we can have lunch together. When you got here just knock on trailer 4. Love you.”

Your knocked on his trailer door, anxiously biting your lips at the anticipation, it shouldn’t be such a big deal, you’ve visited his set couple of times before— it’s just.. what you wear and what you have in mind is making you jumpy with adrenaline coursing through your bloodstream. Only wearing one of his button ups, tucked inside the plated skirt that stop around mid-thigh. It’s one of his... kink really to see you in such a mundane outfit yet something about seeing you in his clothing on public nonetheless flick the switch inside Matthew, makes him go feral.

So as soon as he opened the trailer door, and see the sinful cladded clothing, he yanked you inside and furiously carry you to his lap as he sit down on one of the chairs. “Are you fucking crazy?” His tone sent chills down your spine, you know better than this, than to show up while he’s working, in such clothing that drove him mad. The tone in his voice plus the way he gripped your hips should’ve warned you just how mad he is. But you just innocently shrugged, and rolled you eyes, licking your lips before muttering a soft, “last time i check, i’m doing just—“

You were cut off instantly by the grip that’s now strongly held against the skin of your jawline, and the fingers that was penetrating your very lips. The act, sent your blissful sear to your core.

“Shut up, and listen here you insatiable bunny. I have to finish few more scenes, and it shouldn’t take long. I want you to be a good bunny, and behave. I’m giving you a chance to be good here, if you obey what i said, i’ll give you rewards but if i catch you disobeying me whilst i’m gone, believe me you won’t walk let alone sit for a week, pet.”

Matthew’s eyes burned holes through your skull, his fingers shoved deeper making you gag slightly, cheeks running with tears. “Do you understand, or do i have to write it down for needy whores like you hm?” His words are downright cruel yet your panties got more damper and damper. The only thing you can let out is soft whimpers and nods at him, your fingers scratching his arms to let you breathe.

“If you lie, i’ll know. Now be good, i’ll see you in a bit.” He pushed his lips against yours, kissing the tender lips softly before pulling away and then out the door.

Your heart was beating so fast, and your core ached, truly ached and sopping wet. You almost cried out at the frustration, but decided that you can take it, you’ll take it. So you decided to just lay there and tried to get some sleep. You thought the desire should’ve burned down for a bit after you wake up, but if anything it grows stronger and made you needier.

You were so desperate that you half expectedly slip your fingertips past through the waistband of your panties, sighing as you dream about the sensation of being touched by him, his fingers, his lips, his tongue, his damn cock. “Please..” You whimpered out to no one in particular, just the surrounding space on his trailer. “Matthew..” You moaned again, this time louder— loud enough that you don’t ever hear him opening the door, your eyes only opened when he slammed it, now standing in front of you, his hands tucked away inside his pants pocket.

“Matthew i—“

“Lay over my lap.” He commanded, the way he said it surely alerted all the nerves inside of you. You drew in a sharp breath, before crawling to where was sat at the edge of the chair, and lay tummy down across his lap, the skirt you wore made it easy for him to slide your panties down and shove them inside your mouth as he palmed your ass, gripping it hard, then before you could even breathe, his palm crashed against your ass cheeks.

“Count, and thank me.”

“One! Thank you Matthew!”

There’s something about her calling his name, begging him to do anything that gets him going every-time. He loves it especially when she’s basked with his scent, his clothes, him just him. Call him simply in love or obsessed, he doesn’t care as long as he’s with her. Being in control helps him relinquish all his stress, but really— it’s her who’s in control, if you want to stop he’ll stop. But he knows, both of them pleased each other and willing to go for miles just to be close and intimate.

“Five! oh! t-thank you.” Her breathing was shallow, her ass was on fire, and her core was dripping wet. This is what he loves about their relationship, the dynamics, and the amount of trusts they have with one another always sparked something inside him and her. God he would die for Y/N.

“Ten! please please!” He smiled, before yanking her hair upwards, bending down— his lips trail kisses from her neck up to her ear as he whispered, “What are you begging for, doll?”

“Touch me! please Matthew!” The way she begged turns him on like no other, yet he knows what she wants, and he’s going to give it to her. Making sure she will learn not to tease him this time.

“You’re so cute, and a mess too. I bet you love it don’t you? being a greedy mess for me?” The condescending tone of his should make her angry, but instead she moaned- she bloody moaned. “uh huh! i’m yours right?”

At that she turns to look at him in the eye, knowing just how frustrated if he sees her eyes, her damn puppy eyes. He knows her trick well enough to give her one more slap before tugging her to stand up shakily, whilst still holding onto her waist so that she won’t fall.

“Here’s what we’re going to do pet, we’re going to your car, and then we’ll wait until we get home. Okay baby?”

“No! no! no please!” Y/N whined as she stomped her foot like a child, the stern line of his jaw clenched as his palm burned and twitch with the need to reminds her to not talk like that to him. Yet he held back, decided to wait until a bit later.

“C’mon brat, fix yourself and let’s go.” And just like that, he walked away packing his things, leaving her wet and ready as tears streamed down her eyes, She’s so damn needy.

Pulling herself up, she fixed her make up as best as she can before gathering her things and catching up to him who’s already situated himself on the driver seat of her car.

If this is the game he wanted to play, then game on, Gubler.

—————

It started when they were about halfway to their house, long enough to make him believe that she’s well behaved. Uh oh, not when your girl is Y/N, she thinks. She parted her legs wide, pulling the palm that has been resting on her thigh for a while now deeper into where he could feel the heat through her panties.

“Y/N.” Matthew warned, his eyes flicking towards her, but instead of pulling back his hands— he gripped her inner thigh tightly instead causing her to whimper in delight from the mixture of pain and pleasure.

“Yes, M- Oh...” She fluttered her eyes shut as she make a dramatic arch of her back, as she felt his knuckles grazed against her puffy clit. Her free palm reached out to palm his cock through the pants he was wearing, earning strings of ‘fucking brat.’ from him which made her giggle.

“Oh, you’re enjoying this hm? Enjoy testing me like this?” Y/N innocently tilted her head, and shrug as if she’s not giving him a hand job right now. “Ah look at you, so cute. Just remember the consequences, petal.”

She giggled like an angel that she is before leaning to his side as her hand unbutton his pants, earning a loud “Don’t you dare.” From him, which she only replied with a lip bite and then took his hard cock out, gently running her fingertips against the veins.

“Oh but look baby! you’re clearly loving it right now.” She bat her eyelashes up at him before leaning down and place her warm mouth around the head of his cock, causing him to press the gas pedal a bit too hard. “You insatiable fucking minx.” He groaned, one hand on the steering wheel and the other one tangled in her hair pushing her down his cock.

Matthew was trying so hard to focus yet he just couldn’t, who’s to blame him? his girl’s warm mouth is around his cock, and the sight of her bending across the damn center console with her ruined panties on his peripheral vision doesn’t sit well with safety. Finding the nearest abandoned property and pulled over, before pulling her head up.

“Dirty whore, get in the back and get on your hands and knees.” He hissed, as he released the grip on her hair, which she obeyed immediately, crawling to the back seat on hands and knees as he waited for him. They’ve done this enough times to know which position allows them to have the best sensation.

The moment he crawled his lanky self to the backseat, her grip on the leather seat tighten— preparing herself for whats to come. She felt the grip on her waist as Matthew yanked up her skirt and then push her panties to the side before pushing his cock right into her dripping wet cunt, both of them moaning loudly, finally feeling the pleasure they’ve been teased out of each other.

Matthew didn’t spare her anytime to adjust to his impressive length as he immediately begins thrusting with a brutal pace, making sure to dug his nails onto her skin— leaving marks and indents.

“You love this don’t you? fucked in the backseat of your own car like a damn cheap whore.” He whispered harshly, causing her to buck against him— which resulted in quick violent slaps against her ass as he pound his cock into her like a maniac.

“Yours— yours Matthew, fuck.” She cried out, feeling the way his cock nudge her spot every time he thrusted inside making her mewls. Matthew yanked her hair back so Y/N’s back flushed against his front, slowing down his pace.

“You wanna cum baby? yeah?” He muttered darkly, his thrusts slowing down but pressing deeper that she could even feel it inside her tummy. Y/N tried to find the words but she just couldn’t, not when his cock is perfectly nudged against her spot so she cried out a loud yes instead and hoped that her boyfriend would give her mercy.

“Cum, go on..” She let out a confused moan, knowing that he usually don’t let her cum this easy, but paying no mind as she came around his cock, and screamed into the leather seat as Matthew released the grip on her hair.

He let her ride out her orgasm, and she was about to thank him and offered him a blowjob because she think she can’t take anymore pounding feeling overly overstimulated— yet that thought drowned as soon as his hips bucks up and continue to thrust her in a much faster and hard pace causing her to let out screams.

“No! n-no ah! Matthew! too much oh too much!”

“Shh, take it. You want to cum right? so you’ll keep on coming, baby go on.” He laughed against her ear as he keeps on thrusting, feeling himself got close. “N-please..”

“Cum again come on.” He hissed as he could feel the way her walls tightened so deliciously, encasing her velvet around his cock. The minute her screams went high pitched and her body violently shake, he knew she just came and that sent him to shoot heavy spurts inside of her, with heavy breathing and whispers, “Shit. You did so good baby, so so good, Y/N..”

—————

They both come down from their high slowly as Matthew pulled out of her, immediately pulling some tissues from her bag and wipe them both gently— trying not to cause any pain. “Shh it’s okay.. come here baby.” He said as he placed her on top of his lap after he cleaned them both.

“Hey.. I love you so much Y/N.” He whispered, fingers playing with her hair as she smiled against his sweaty neck and whisper a soft “I love you, Matthew. sorry for being a brat.” Which earned her a laugh from him,

“I still love you even if you’re being bratty. Just give me more reason to put you back in your place right princess?” He then move his fingertips to stroke her cheeks, feeling the flesh warmed up to his touch, as his thumb pressed against her lips.

She then opened her lips slowly, letting him push his thumb inside to let her suckle on it. Sometimes after a particularly rough sex like this or just generally when she’s trying to calm herself down, he would let her suck on his fingers. His girl surely has an oral fixation, but its also coping mechanism.

As he heard her breathing slow and even, he smiled— knowing she’s asleep. He waited for few more minutes before laying her on the back seat with a blanket covering her that he pulled out from the trunk, pressing one last kiss on her forehead before going back to the driver seat and then drive back home.

The day was perfect, and Matthew wouldn’t trade it with anything else.

———————

Blurb Reqs are open, send in your requests now. ❤️ thank you for supporting.

[the-seas-song]

Richard Armitage and Astrology

Hi! I find astrology fascinating, and am an armchair expert on it myself, so I found Richard's comments in his recent Total Film Magazine interview very interesting. This is what he said:

I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’ve dabbled with having my celestial chart looked at every couple of years, just for a little tune-up. Every time, the guy sighs, and goes, “What can I say? You’ve just got a sprinkle of luck.” And I say, “That’s good, because I don’t have the talent, so I really need the luck!”

[cut]

There is a naughty, dark side to me. I am quite strongly affected by the moon. So if there’s a full moon I’ll go a bit crazy. (source)

This isn't the first time Richard's mentioned astrology – he's mentioned being a Leo, reading his daily horoscope, and finding out he was born in the Chinese Year of the Pig; but these were all informal twitter comments. He has also mentioned the effect the moon has on him before, in February 2020:

“Everyone has cycles of positive mental and emotional feelings and negative mental and emotional feelings and I know that I am profoundly affected on a monthly cycle. I always look at the calendar when I'm feeling particularly low and check the lunar cycle to see if it's a full or new moon.” (source)

However, what prompted me to write this is that Richard's personal put-downs were even more direct here than usual; and the connection that has to his natal, or birth, chart.

A little disclaimer: Personally, I think general horoscopes (like the ones you find in magazines) do far more harm than good. They are based solely on the twelve sun signs, and your sun sign is just one puzzle piece out of 25+ pieces that make up your natal chart. This is why many people don't relate to their horoscope or it's personality description.

Your natal chart, however, is a whole different animal. It's an intricate puzzle created by the exact date, time, and location you were born; which is why most people find their natal charts to be scarily accurate.

Back during the Hobbit days, a fan blog reported that Richard told a NZ fan that his birth time was just after 4 a.m. I used 4:05 for this post, and being off by a few minutes doesn't really make a difference.

Richard and self-esteem

I really feel for and relate to Richard's self-esteem struggles, because our charts mirror each other. We are both Leo suns; but I have my moon in Aries with my MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Virgo and sextile my North Node; while Richard has his moon in Virgo with his MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Aries and sextile his North Node.

What on earth does that mean?

Each planet represents a different part of you. The sun represents your ego/conscious self; the moon your emotions, mercury your mind/intellect, venus love and beauty/aesthetics, mars passion and drive, etc.

On top of the twelve planets, there are specific points and asteroids that are also important. Your MC, or Midheaven, represents your career and public persona. Your North Node describes your inner journey and life purpose. The asteroid Chiron describes your major soul wound, that you will be forced to deal with throughout your life.

A conjunction and a sextile are two of several different kinds of aspects. The different kinds of aspects are the different ways your respective puzzle pieces can interact with each other. Some are 'easy/positive' and some 'difficult/negative'. A sextile is considered easy/positive. A conjunction means two things are next to each other and overlap with one another, and is usually considered positive.

Leo and Aries are both fire signs. Fire signs are generally playful, warm, passionate, confident, and optimistic. Virgo is an earth sign. Earth signs are generally practical, grounded, sensual, and logical.

Richard's personality is dominated by an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo influence, with both his sun (core self) and venus (love and beauty) in Leo and his moon (emotions) and mercury (mind) in Virgo.

Aries and Virgo are said to be the most difficult Chiron signs, because they are the wounds tied directly to your self-worth (Aries is the wound of Self and Virgo is the wound of Perfection). With Aries Chiron you feel a core sense of worthlessness, like you're missing a fundamental piece of your core self. This deeply felt lack of self-worth leads people to be people pleasers and have issues with confrontation and conflict.

Aries rules the planet mars. It is the warrior planet of passion, drive, and combat. A conventional Aries is confident, outgoing, impulsive, and strong willed. Aries and mars are definitely the rowdiest sign and planet in the zodiac. However, with Chiron here the traits are inverted, and so someone like Richard is much more likely to be scared of his inner passion, confidence, and willpower – depending, of course, on what the rest of his chart is like.

That leads us to Virgo. Chiron Virgo feels impure, like there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This kind of low self-esteem makes you feel like you have to constantly try to 'fix' yourself so people will love and accept you. It's an OCD type of perfectionism that only ends in failure and heartbreak.

A good example of how this works is when I talked to my therapist recently. I hadn't quite succeeded in meeting my goals, and so my automatic response was to condemn myself for failing. My therapists immediate response was to congratulate me on how much progress I had made.

Ironically, unlike with Aries, this isn't an inversion of the conventional Virgo. Conventional Virgo is meticulous, detail-oriented, focused, patient, efficient, practical, perfectionistic, systematic, and pessimistic with high expectations. If Aries is the official warrior of the zodiac, Virgo is the official nit-picker.

This means that Richard's subconscious intellectually (mercury) and emotionally (moon) expects and demands perfection, whilst simultaneously feeling fundamentally worthless. In short: ouch.

Interestingly, a significant number of celebrities have their Chiron conjunct their MC. Personally, I think Richard hit the nail on the head as to why in his essay on the Human Condition for Cybersmile:

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. It’s why sometimes actors are called in to work with therapists, in large corporations, in schools. It’s why drama therapy is fantastic to understand what we do, how we do it and what the outcome might be, and in an improvisation where we aren’t playing ourselves sometimes we explore avenues that are too frightening or unacceptable in our own lives.

[cut]

So going back to my very first point, the “social media society” in which we’d all like to feel safe, supported, excited, creative, spontaneous, innovative, courageous, is really in our own hands. And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening.

So here is the thing, and it’s key to my work and I think ours as a community. When we speak or write, we ultimately desire to ‘affect’. If we aren’t watching the destination of that affect, then how do we know our words have landed and the ‘effect’ they have caused?

[cut]

If I have a strong opinion about something which I want to express I really task myself with backing it up with the ‘why do I feel that?’

Again it’s part of my work building a believable character, and actually part of building a believable ‘me’ outside of my work. Just.. “because that’s what I feel” is a bit of a cop out.

[cut]

As for Bullying, it’s like the moment the pot boils over, or it’s the poisoned stream that can’t be cleansed, so why bother. Well I think that’s what art is for. It’s can support the best and the worst of ourselves. We can ‘attack’ a canvas with black angry paint, we can ‘savage’ a piano keyboard, we can dance until we drop, we can read about a Puritan society who executed elders, we can explore the psychology of a serial killer, and when we can’t do this ourselves we can experience it, and witness it through others.

It’s more than being nice. Edward Munch’s “The Scream” is far from nice. Francisco Goya’s “Saturn” is horrific, Metallica, Die Antwoort etc etc. But then there is Monet, Faure, Renée Fleming, Peter Jackson, Ariana Grande (ok it’s getting a bit eclectic I admit) but when we look, listen and empathize, we tune in to the Human Condition.

We are all part of The Human Condition, whether we like it or not. Social Media. Expression. The Human Condition.

Us human beings are wired for emotion and connection. For actors, their career gives them a way to safely process and explore their personal wounds through the characters they play. For Richard in particular, his mars is conjunct his North Node. So, his mars and North Node are sextile his Chiron and MC.

Remember, Aries (the sign of Richard's Chiron and MC) is ruled by mars. Mars is the warrior planet, like Aries is the warrior sign. This means that Richard's spiritual journey/life's purpose (North Node) deals directly with healing his soul wound so he can accept and embrace his inner confidence and willpower. This explains why he ends up playing a lot of ultra-masculine characters – mars/Aries are the most macho of them all.

This isn't to say I think Richard should change who he is! I wouldn't be interested in him if he was ultra-masculine or macho. However, for his own sake, I would be overjoyed to see him gain more self-esteem and inner confidence.

Extrapolating from my own personal experiences, the constant criticism and judgement I received during my adolescence from my peers and various authority figures (like family members and teachers) for being unconventional and 'over the top' caused me to turn on myself and repress my passion and will-power for several years. I think it's highly likely that Richard experienced this too.

Here are some quotes from Richard that illustrate everything I've been talking about (emphasis is mine):

Armitage is still notably handsome, but, within minutes of meeting him, it’s apparent how incongruous it is that this bookish, sensitive, self-described ‘melancholic, philosophically-minded softie’ and ardent fan of The Great British Bake Off was cast as beefcake killer totty for a considerable part of his career. ‘It’s ridiculous. It’s the complete opposite to who I am. I’m such a pacifist,’ he laughs. ‘But then, part of me always felt: “Well, isn’t that why we’re actors?”

[cut]

'I think the turning point was losing my mum,” he says. “Up until that point, I felt like I mustn’t put a foot wrong, that if I said the wrong thing or revealed too much about my personal life, it could all come crashing down, and it would come down on my parents, and they wouldn’t be proud of me anymore.” He shrugs. “Now that I’m past that I’m actually much more carefree about the choices I make.” (source)

Richard Armitage puts his head in his hands and emits a noise that's somewhere between a sigh, a laugh and a groan. “Oh no! Why would you want to pin this up?” he says with a horrified whisper.

[cut]

Never has a man seemed more ill at ease with the heartthrob label. He squirms with embarrassment in his chair every time the subject comes up. He is grateful for the loyalty of his fans, he says, but worries that “there is this thing of, 'Is he just totty?' Because the industry will sometimes write you off as a serious actor if they think that. I have always been conscious of that and fought against it, because I don't really see myself like that at all.”

[cut]

This brings us back to Astrov, who looks so relentless towards the future that he can't see the truth in front of his eyes. “It's interesting that he's an outsider in the play. I've often felt like that myself in life. I'm quite a solitary person. I enjoy my time with me, and sometimes it's not necessarily healthy, because I can talk myself into quite a dark place.

I'm an optimist, but at the same time, there's a discipline in me that will attack me for not working hard enough, not achieving enough, not being good enough. You always think, 'I'll grow out of that. With success, those voices will disappear.' But they don't, they get louder. I suppose I'm learning a bit about myself through Astrov.” (source)

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. … And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening. (Human Condition essay)

So I kind of travelled on that line for a while, and I was bullied for it as well. The problem with me is that as soon as you try to push me down or say “you can’t do this” and “I don’t think you should do that”, I immediately push back. So I did – I’d decided really young that I was going to try to make a career out of it.

[cut]

Actually, there was something I wanted to add to what Shaun said, about inclusivity, is that um, no matter how – how much confidence you have or how, in my case, lack. Y’know, I always felt like a misfit, or an oddball, or that I didn’t belong. But I always – I always told myself that ‘you exist in the world, so therefore there’s a place for you in this industry’. I think anybody who feels like, “I can’t become an actor because…” – you exist. And, y’know, the job of filmmakers is to write about our life and society, and if you are a part of that, then there’s a place for you in the industry. (source)

I'm a bit of a brooder. I don't like confrontation, so I think I suppress things. When my temper does come out, it goes all the way – the kind of temper you can't apologize for. Yep, the chair getting thrown out of the window. Those emotions are scary, but hey, they come in useful when you're acting. (source)

Armitage is a noticeably calm presence but he talks with passion.

[cut]

In the past, he has described himself as a shy person. “Not any more,” he says forcefully. “I mean… if I’m very, very honest, I’m a big guy, I think I’m at times quite a frightening person.”

In what way?

“I think I’m quite uncompromising. I can’t bear bulls---. And in a way the shyness is me protecting other people from that. I can feel that there’s an intimidation that can happen if I own my full height, and speak at my full volume. So I’ve learned over the years to just tone it all down a bit.” (source)

I've become one of those actors who find it difficult to say no when things are offered. I think if I had come out of drama school and been an instant Hollywood superstar I would be taking long, leisurely holidays. But I always feel somehow it's going to be taken away from me so I work when I can. When you struggled with work as I did when I left drama school you make hay when the sun shines. There was a time when I thought, and my agent thought, it wasn't going to happen for me. We both sat down and I actually said I don't know if I can stay in this state. The interesting roles have only come since I got into my 30s. But I didn't know that was going to happen. I'm a bit of an all or nothing kind of guy. To be honest, I had no blind faith in myself. I don't think I could have stayed around as a jobbing actor. I would probably have quit. Who knows? I think I would have found that too frustrating. But at the moment when I thought I was going to quit, something happened and it all changed again. (source)

[talking about being cast in the Hobbit]

There was a little bit of guidance as to what they were looking for. I felt that I was too young for the character, too tall for that character, so I thought, you know, ‘I’ll just look at the scene they’ve written’. And then I realised the essence of the character that they were aiming for. So I went to meet Peter and Phillipa and we read some of the scenes. I think we spent an hour-and-a-half talking about the character and what their vision was, and I sort of explained who I thought he was, and that was it.

[cut]

Yeah, my first instinct, whenever that kind of thing happens, is to say, 'Well what's wrong with the part? Why did nobody else want it'? Which is kind of the story of my life really. When I get offered something, I'm like, 'Well there must be something wrong with it if they're offering it to me!'

[cut]

But you know, the thing is, you talk about all of this: ‘How did you get the role? And how did it feel when you got the role?’ And once all that’s died down you start to think, ‘I’ve actually got to go and play this now’. They’ve trusted me. Everyone’s happy, everyone’s celebrated, the phones have gone down and the deal’s been done. Now it’s over to me to make the role work. And that’s the scariest moment, because you do have that elation and then the work begins and you think, ‘How the hell am I going to do this?’ (source)

How was it for you taking on this beloved role, this character that has such a huge responsibilty on his back? Could you relate in some ways?

Richard Armitage: Yeah. There is always building within him this paranoia that he’s not a good enough leader, and that weighs him down. I have experienced that same feeling as an actor in this role. And I was aware of taking on the responsibility of that character, so there was something I could latch onto there, as one of the people who loved ‘The Hobbit’ book and had envisioned that character. It took me a while to be convinced that I could do it, it wasn’t until I saw some sketches, this one particular pencil sketch….there was something about this characters eyes and the way that his hands are crossed, I thought, “I think I can do this, I can pull this off.” (source)

Q: I wanted to ask you about what your Arkenstone is. For you personally.

A: Me personally?

Q: And I meant for this to be materialistic. What's the thing that you covet so much that it makes you mad that you don't have it?

A: Well, it's actually not material. It's not material, and it's – (laughs) You want a comedy answer, don't you? But it's respect. It's the thing that always eludes you, you know. You have to fight for it and when you get it, your arkenstone, the thing that crowns you, is respect.

Q: And also a sweater.

A: And a sweater. I do have this little natty number.

Q: It's a good one man.

A: Tom Ford made this personally. But hey, he can have it back. I don't covet wealth and material. (source)

Q6: You’ve done a variety of different roles, I wonder what influences you to pursue those roles?

R: More often than not, you go where you’re wanted. So getting hired is still kind of a revelation to me, a shock and a surprise. Sometimes you have very flat periods, where I don’t really care what comes next, I just want to work on something. I feel like I’ve got a little cloud of luck over my head so the right thing always seems to come along. But again, I’m easily excited about literature and stories, so I’ve always said I don’t really pursue glory, I’d happily do acting for two people in my living room if it was a role that I really enjoyed with a story I’d really like to tell. So it’s chance, I would say.

[cut]

Q8: Once in an interview about Thorin, you were asked what your arkenstone was and your answer was respect. I like this answer a lot. So I was wondering what’s your red dragon? As you said yesterday he’s a character who sheds his skin, improves, and becomes something. I was wondering if there was something you’d like to improve, become?

R: I guess the antithesis of that is disrespect. Do you mean in myself?

Q8: Yes.

R: Yeah I try not to be too disrespectful. I guess I value the truth. I think we’re living at a time at the moment where the truth is warped and there’s a word that’s been in my head for a long time, and particularly recently it’s come to the surface. When I was studying Macbeth, at the RSC, I read a long thesis about the gunpowder plot, which was one of the things they thought that Shakespeare (or whoever Shakespeare was) was stimulated by to write Macbeth. And the word equivocation was used in this thesis, it was actually about equivocation and what equivocation is. And if you look it up in the dictionary, at the moment most politicians are equivocating. When you don’t answer a question, or you bend the truth to make it seem like you are answering the question, and in fact you’re telling a lie. So I would say my red dragon would be equivocation.

[cut]

Then there was the physical form that I was studying and observing, but also, I do sometimes enjoy locking myself away in a room and reading a book or just doing something alone, and you sometimes can go a couple of days without speaking to anybody. I don’t know whether anyone else experiences this or whether I’m just a weirdo. But I find that when that happens my voice changes, and I always forget how to make a noise, I have to do a warm-up before I go into the world and start speaking again.

[cut]

Q15: I was wondering if you ever had to pull out of a project because it felt wrong or something, and what is the point where you say “nope I can’t do this”?

R: Um, no. But that’s partly to do with the fact that I have a lot of loyalty, probably too much loyalty for my own good, really, and there’ve been moment when I’ve been on board a project, and actually it happened this year with The Lodge, I was already on board that project and something else came along which was bigger and better and brighter and more money, and your agent says “look we can pull you out of The Lodge, they can probably recast it,” and here I think “I’ve already started this process, I don’t want to let people down,” and I don’t have a problem with that at all, I never have any regrets over the things that you miss or the things that you decide not to do, I think there’s a strong enough reason why you’ve decided not to do it, but in general no I haven’t ever pulled out of something. There was one television show I remember, I’m not going to say what it is, but after the first readthrough, I did call my agent and asked, “can I get out of this?” And then he quickly got back to me and said, “don’t do it. Don’t build a reputation built on disloyalty.” So I try not to.

[cut]

Q18: I think you are very handsome, but your character Francis hated the way he looked, how did that make you feel?

R: Francis hated the way he looked? Yeah. I guess there is something we relate to in that. Without getting too personal, I don’t always enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t do it very often, to be honest. I do it just to be sure I don’t have food on my face. I do it in character, actually. I do spend a bit of time studying my own face when I’m playing a character, which is interesting because your face does change. (source)

He cannot see the handsomeness: “I think I am odd-looking. I have big lines on my forehead.” I squint, looking for them, but he is talking over me, sounding slightly panicked. “I shouldn’t draw attention to it, because then everyone else will see the oddness.”

[cut]

Laziness is what makes him angry: “Laziness in myself. Laziness in other people. And dishonesty. All things I feel capable of myself. I have a propensity to be lazy and lie about it. Fear makes me rageful. There are words in The Crucible I actually find it quite hard to say.” I beg for an example — The Crucible is in the public domain. “No,” he says, “you’ll see it in the play.” I tell him it will make no sense in print if he will not tell me. But he won’t. So I change the subject. It works. “OK, I will give you a line.” He inflates a little and says: “Is there no good penitence but it be public?” And then: “Were I stone I would have cracked for shame this seven month.” (source)

Q: How would you describe your evolution as an actor since you started?

A: I think everything has to do with the fact that today I’m not afraid anymore. At first, I was embarrassed to do something wrong or do things badly or make myself ridiculous. Today, I am almost looking for opportunities to be ridiculous or vulnerable or to make as much of a mistake as possible. In a sense, it’s now the opposite of being undercover.

Q: Are you the actor you dreamed of being when you started?

A: Not yet. I am not yet fearless enough. It’s in waves, actually. But I have already approached this dream. There were moments, especially during Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which I performed on stage, where I felt I had no control over things. That’s what I’m looking for: to lose control.

Q: You often play bad guys. What do you like in these characters?

A: I like disobedience. I like the fact that you can be disobedient thanks to your creativity. As a person, I must always be polite in life, be careful and correct so as not to hurt anyone. In a fantasy world, I can be as offensive as I want. It’s an outlet. (Laughter)

[cut]

Q: Many actors are moving to directing. Is this also your goal?

A: I would like to, but I do not think I’m smart enough. I am good when it comes to working with another’s vision. I do not think I have that creative spontaneity that creates a vision from scratch. But the future will tell. (source)

I applaud Richard for being so open and direct about his fears and insecurities. It takes a lot of bravery to do so. And while I've seen some fans get annoyed with his continual self-deprecation, I think his honesty and openness is much more significant, and shows his inner strength. He doesn't try to pretend to be someone he's not.

He recently described himself as “patient, obsessive, and silly” (source). The patient part is classic Virgo, and the obsessive part comes from an element of his natal chart that I have not mentioned.

The silly part, however, is classic Leo. Like I said above, he has an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo in his personality. Personally, I'm proud to be a Leo, but I also know we get misunderstood a lot of the time. I wrote the following for an essay of mine on Leos in Disney:

Your sun sign represents your core identity. Just like the physical sun is the center of the solar system and its energy creates life, the astrological sun is our consciousness and life force. Each of the twelve sun signs are ruled by a different planet and element.

Since Leo is the fixed fire sign, we don't inherit the reckless and impulsive nature of fire, but instead are a steady flame. No sign is more reckless and impulsive than Aries, because they have the double combination of being a cardinal sign and a fire sign. Meanwhile, all four of the fixed signs struggle with stubbornness and admitting when their wrong.

Leo's are well known to be natural leaders and the rulers of the zodiac. We are ruled by the sun and our animal is the lion. We dream big and are born with big personalities, and we can't help but be theatrical and dramatic. This means we are always self-centered in the sense of being strong-willed and having a strong sense of self. It does not mean all Leos are egotistical.

Unhealthy Leo traits all revolve around the ego: attention-seeking, egotistical, selfish, bossy, controlling, pushy, jealous, possessive, lazy, vain, arrogant, aggressive, and obstinate.

Healthy Leos, however, are known for our fire-based traits – being animated, theatrical, happy, outgoing, independent, competitive, charismatic, creative, open-minded, open-hearted, confident, assertive, playful, warm, social, courageous, idealistic, affectionate, romantic, optimistic, and adventurous.

What isn't often talked about is our steadiness, our fixed-based traits. Leos are authentic, steadfast, fiercely loyal and protective, consistent, persistent, full-hearted, dedicated, need to do their best, generous and selfless, honorable and moral, genuine and direct, extremely supportive, hard-working and responsible, dignified, strong-willed, and ambitious and determined.

Something that is often mentioned but highly misunderstood is our trait of courage. Having courage doesn't mean you're fearless or reckless. The definition of courage is “the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc.” It means that instead of running away from our problems or denying our emotions; healthy Leos face them and be genuine and direct with ourselves, embracing our vulnerability.

Having a big personality doesn't necessarily mean someone has a big ego. C.S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” Leos have huge hearts and are incredibly generous. The sun never goes retrograde, always shines, and gives life and energy to all living beings – it isn't selective or discriminatory. Healthy Leos are like mini suns; which is why we are also irrepressibly upbeat, optimistic, and fun-loving.

We're not pushovers. We are like roses – we have both flower petals and thorns. If you mess with someone we love you're going down. We're too loyal and protective to let major things slide; and even if we forgive, we never forget. Little things? We'll try to work them out with you.

Being naturally strong-willed and assertive is healthy – it just means we usually make horrible subordinates and yes people. There's nothing wrong with having high standards and being open about them. In fact, in relationships it's far better in the long run to open and frank about what you need and what you consider a dealbreaker from the beginning.

And oh yes are we ambitious and competitive – but most often with ourselves. We're natural leaders who always dream and think big. For a healthy Leo it's not about being the best, but doing your best. We have to be grand and intense, we're ruled by the sun. It's all or nothing for us. Settling is not something a Leo does. We need to be the best leader, the best friend, the best partner, etc. that we possibly can.

Also, in astrology each sign rules a different body part, and Leo rules the heart and upper back.

Adding to this, Leos are known as the Kings/Queens of the zodiac not because we're egotistical, but because our sun sign is the sun. It's like a double amount sun. I could go into significantly more detail about this, but it involves a lot of technical astrological details; so if anyone wants to know more just message me!

Going back to Richard, having his core self (sun) and love/beauty (venus) in Leo explains why he is an actor and artist; and why he is often warm, silly, and dramatic when he feels comfortable – his long interview with The Anglophile Channel (and it's deleted scenes) does a great job of showing the synergy between his Leo and Virgo sides.

We see Richard express the heartfelt, generous, sincere, and honorable side of Leo all the time. This is why I'm sure he has the inner-confidence and strength hidden within him to overcome the deep pain his Chiron causes him (like it does to us all). I hope he continues to find projects and people that help him on his journey to heal.

Thank you for reading this, I'm wishing him and you all the best. Take care!

[im-whatchamccallit]

Next Step//Jung Chanwoo (iKon)

Request: can u write something where Chanwoo (iKON) and his s/o are having se* and the rest of the members barge in expecting Chanwoo to be playing his games or something. Ty

Pairing: Jung Chanwoo x Genderneutral!Reader

Genre: Smut, Established relationship

Warnings: Unprotected sex/creampie, being caught

Words:3.6k

(A/N: I need to get better at making descriptive genderneutral smuts... One day.)

This day was like any other; you come over after Chanwoo invited you, the boys all crowd around you making comments that infantilized you in their attempt to maintain the sweet and innocent persona you presented the night you met them, Chanwoo presses a soft kiss to your forehead before leading you to the sofa in their living room to snuggle against him, and you jokingly say you thought only three of them lived in that home prompting a series of laughter before diverting your attention back to some movie playing on the television. Every week that you came over it was like this, and it was starting to bother you.

You and Chanwoo were approaching your eighth month as a couple and you were hoping things would progress further. Your indoor dates were becoming constants, always at his home or your apartment but you tried not to mind it, knowing he preferred a more private relationship and you’ve happily accepted that, so a night in wasn’t too big of a deal. But it was when, after spending hours alone in a compact space for days at a time, he still wasn’t catching on that you just wanted to fuck. Sure, you could be one of those couples that waited until your wedding night to do the deed, sticking to cuddling and hand holding for the time being, but you were filled with pent-up sexual frustration and you knew he was too, those small kisses becoming more passionate and needy whenever he returned from practice or promotions, the small whimpers he let out when he had to will himself to take things slow, they were clear signs. You wanted him to make the first move, to know for certain you weren’t the only one ready, but it never happened, and you were afraid it’d never come. Until tonight, when a miracle occurred.

“We’re going to that Italian place we tried last week.” Donghyuk stated, dragging you from your daydreams to see the six men pulling on their coats and shoes.

“What? That place is like a 40 minute drive away.” Chanwoo said, arm still wrapped tightly around you as he adjusted himself to sit up straight, your head not leaving his chest.

“I know, but Junhoe kept mentioning it and now we’re all craving it.” Jinhwan said with a sigh, kinda annoyed he has to travel so far just for a bowl of Cacciucco.

“Well, have fun, I guess. We’ll just starve until you come back.” Chanwoo said sarcastically, a soft giggle slipping past you lips as you tried to hide it.

“Shut up, we’re bring you something back. You want anything specific, (Y/n/n)?” Bobby asked, everyone’s eyes suddenly on you as you tried to think, not really caring about food but the heat rising through your body in excitement and anticipation once you realized they’ll be gone for over an hour, wanting nothing more than for them to leave that very second.

“Spaghetti. Regular spaghetti is fine.” You said, giving another bright smile they couldn’t help but coo at.

It didn’t take long for the six men to file out, your eyes watching them closely until the door shut behind, and a sigh of relief leaving your body. You had a golden opportunity right now, to make the first move and take the next step you’ve been itching for. You weren’t nervous or even scared, just ready to make every dream you had of him inside of you come true.

“Channie,” You said cutely, biting down on your bottom lip to gain his attention, his eyes meeting yours and filled with a small glint of curiosity at the sudden distraction. You were usually quiet during movies until he made a comment you’d respond to, so it was a bit odd for you to initiate conversation first this time.

“Do you want to have sex?”

The question caught both of you off guard. You wanted to be direct but the statement felt so strange coming from you, and Chanwoo felt the same. You never talked about sex or made suggestive jokes or comments, so he knew you were being sincere, his only reaction to ask ‘What?’, prompting a scoff to leave you as you practically tore yourself from his arms.

“For the last month and a half, our dates have been at home. We cuddle, watch movies, maybe eat, but that’s all and, you know I don’t mind it, I just got tired of the same thing every time but I started thinking that maybe being inside isn’t so bad. Maybe we can take another step in our relationship and explore the sexual side of it instead of just holding hands and kissing. But, y-you act like you don’t want to, and I don’t want to force you to so, I just want to know if I should stop worrying about it or if you’re ready too.”

The confession was a bit rushed and sloppy, even with all the time you’ve spent mulling over how badly you wanted this, but it was enough to get your point across. Chanwoo couldn’t even look you in the eye, trying to form his own thoughts even as he spent just as long thinking about this. He wanted this, he wanted you, he wanted to take that next step and bring back that spark to your relationship that he could only faintly remember. But your relationship was otherwise perfect, and the thought that an unexpected change could probably drive you away scared him.

“Woo,” You called to him, finally regaining his attention, giving a sad smile as your hand reached to cup his neck, easing your fingers up and into his hair until his face fell into a relaxed state and you couldn’t help by giggle a bit.

“What if you don’t like having sex with me and we break up?” He mumbled, eyes shut to enjoy the scalp massage you gave.

“Chanwoo, I questioned our relationship when you randomly suggested we stop going on dates in public so much. I also questioned our relationship when you let our team die in Apex because you’re a terrible healer,”

“It was my first time being healer, stop bringing that up!” You laughed out loud this time, his eyes opening to see your smile, still as bright and angelic as ever.

“Just think of sex like Apex; you were able to learn how to be a great healer so, if our first time isn’t that great, we can just keep practicing until you’re the best.” Your voice was a bit lower, eyes glazed over and body inching closer to his, his unconsciously doing the same.

“So what if I don’t like anything you do?” He challenged, suddenly more bold now that the situation turned for the better, the tension building around you more pleasant than unbearable, almost enticing you to continue.

You said no words as you moved away from him, his eyes watching your every move like a predator to its prey, except you were both predators, feral and ready to pounce for dominance at any moment, and this was your opportunity to strike.

You were always such an angel, always so sweet and perfect without a flaw, and somehow that statement remained, even with you sat between Chanwoo’s legs, undoing his pants with ease and pulling them down just enough (with his help of course) to release his semi-erect member. Your hands felt so soft on his thighs and your tongue moving effortlessly along the underside of his shaft, dragging up to the tip where you flicked your tongue teasingly, not breaking eye contact with the man above you. Chanwoo tried not show how much you affected him, but he couldn’t stop his underlying desires from taking over, a desperate hand moving to your hair as you took the tip into your mouth, humming playfully at his silent pleas.

You could taste the saltiness of his precum on your tongue, a pulse running to your sex at the various thoughts of him. What positions he’d have you in, how his girthy length will feel once he was inside of you stretching you out, how far you can take him into your mouth as he release his load. That last thought was enough to end your teasing, head falling further down his cock until he was at the back of your throat, not wasting time bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks so your warm cavern massaged his dick. Maybe it was your oral sex skills or just the build-up of holding back for months, but Chanwoo felt like he was going to explode, body hot as he swallowed every moan and groan threatening to spill from his lips, fingers curling inside of your locks to keep you there, your hands on his thighs the only thing keeping him from thrusting further into your mouth, although it didn’t seem possible. You were taking him so well, using your tongue to swipe along his balls whenever you were down far enough, a pathetic whine breaking the silence formed around you, causing you to notice the movie had been paused all along, but you thought the way Chanwoo tried to keep his eyes open to watch your movements, lips parted in pleasure while letting you hear how good you made him feel was much better than any film you’ve seen.

“(Y/n/n), I’m-“ He sighed as you pulled back, hand slowly relaxing in your hair as he managed to gaze down at you, that same innocent look in your eyes as when you first arrived.

He wanted to stop you when you began to stand, moving away from him and heading towards the halls and bedrooms.

“You coming?” You called, grinning once you heard him rush from the sofa, your feet excitedly carrying you to his bedroom. It was finally happening.

You entered Chanwoo’s room first, eyes scanning to take in the interior. His television was on with a random Twitch stream still playing despite him being in the living room for most of the day, his bed was cleared yet there were various items of clothing strewn about, leaving you to wonder if you’ll be able to find yours once you both were done.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around your waist, lips eagerly lapping at your neck with large hands impatiently worming up your shirt. Sex was always about taking things slow, learning each other’s bodies and creating your own dance that no one else could understand but you two. But you didn’t want to take things slow, you wanted to Tango instead of Waltz, to have a taste of the best dish in the world before learning to make it. You just wanted him.

“Chanwoo, stop teasing.” You breathed out, hands trying to capture his as one began to undo your pants, the other toying with your nipple and making your chest heave in desire.

“After what you pulled,” You bit back a moan at the feeling of his hard-on pressing against your butt, eyes fluttering in his direction in an attempt to see him and the devilish smirk growing on your flesh.

“I think you can wait. Now, I need your clothes off. Now.”His voice was chilling, dominating and unsparing, an obedience you never knew existed inside of you emerging and making you follow his commands.

You listened carefully to his footsteps as he marched past you, giving you space to undress and time for you to predict his next move. You were kicking away your pants by the time he reached his nightstand, pulling out a small clear bottle of lube. You immediately perked up when he faced you, not bothering to hide your excitement while climbing onto his bed, eyes hooded with lust and hunger swirling through your irises. He was silent as he worked, squirting a stream of the clear water-based gel onto his middle and forefinger as he approached the bed. He didn’t care how messy it was, watching it drip onto both the carpeted floor and his palm but coating his fingers the way he needed before kneeling between your spread legs. Your face followed his as he leaned in to you, desperately catching his lips in a sloppy kiss, tongues and teeth clashing with one another. Your head was spinning, the air was stuffy and hot around you as you moaned into Chanwoo’s mouth, hips bucking desperately once you felt his slick fingers tracing along your hole, your body begging him to keep going and, by some miracle, he didn’t tease you too long, slipping inside of you slowly as he stretched out the somewhat virginal opening.

“Chan-“ The pathetic whimper you let out fueled him, his lips moving down to your neck as he began to thrust his digits in and out of you, not wanting to drown your sounds of pleasure any longer.

You weren’t a virgin, yet after eight months of not having sex with Chanwoo, and seven months prior to meeting him of not having sex with anyone, you felt like you were. The way you panted out whines while rolling your lower half into his hand in a haphazardly manner whereas he was curling and twisting inside of you with ease, as if he’s known your body forever, made you realize he had a lot more experience than you initially thought, maybe a lot more than you. And you loved it.

Your eyes were threatening to shut at the various sensations, a burning inside of you from the mixed feelings of his fingertips penetrating the almost hidden spot within you and his lips traveling down your body, but you didn’t want to miss the way his mouth immediately latched onto your sex, a stuttered moan echoing through the somewhat spacious room as his tongue worked against you. You couldn’t believe Chanwoo thought you’d leave him for being bad in bed, and he couldn’t believe he thought your relationship was perfect by staying at first base and that you’d leave if he took anything further, yet here you were; Chanwoo making the coil in your stomach tighten while he watched your eyes roll to the back of your head and his mouth working wonders on you. Taking this next step in your relationship was the best decision of both your lives.

“S-slow down. I’m cl- Ah!” Your legs were twitching, desperate to wrap around his head and pull him close yet your hand remained threaded in his hair, able to pull him away at any second but instead allowing him to ravage you.

You didn’t want to cum yet, you wanted to watch his face contort in pleasure as you fucked him the way you always wanted, yet you could feel the pressure in your body building, limbs tensing and convulsing as your nails clawed at his scalp, hips rolling as high-pitched warnings of your undoing left your lips, Chanwoo watching you closely as you finally released, back arching and body practically frozen as his mouth continued to ride you through your high as he swallowed your juices, mouth and fingers slowly pulling away from you as your labored breathes filled his ears.

“You okay, baby?” He asked lowly, bringing his body up until your faces were aligned again.

Your eyes peeled open, your vision crossed before you could make out his face, a bit of your essence on the corner of his lips as he smiled down at you. You leaned forward, kissing him to suck away the residue, moaning at how sweet you tasted in his mouth and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Do you think you can keep going?” He asked, certain you’d tell him now based on the fucked out expression you had, but the way your hands pulled at his shirt and tossing it away proved him wrong, his hands moving fast to get rid of his pants and boxers as his mouth eagerly found yours again.

At this point, it wasn’t about teasing or taking things slow to see how well your bodies meshed together, it was all about instinct, and Chanwoo couldn’t ignore his any longer. He was glad that you both were on the same page as he slipped his member into your lube-filled hole, a simultaneous sigh of pleasure escaping you both as he bottomed out inside of you. He didn’t hesitate to start moving, grabbing onto your thighs to hoist them around his waist as his hips moved flush against yours. His pace wasn’t too fast but it was impactful, your body shifting along the mattress with each stroke and bouncing as he reached deeper. Your moans were breathy and gentle, only encouraging your boyfriend to pull back just enough to reposition your legs on his shoulder, his pace now faster.

He loved seeing you like this, eyes half-lidded and lips parted until you sank your teeth into them to keep from crying out any louder but to no avail, he even noticed your hand going to your groin to massage your sex, a desperate attempt to bring you to another orgasm. It was amusing to think his perfect angel was a touch starved nympho just begging to cum over and over again.

“Cute.” He cooed teasingly, smirking down at you as your eyes met, desperation and exhaustion filling your gaze.

“You were begging me to fuck you earlier, now you can’t even speak. C’mon, (Y/n/n), tell me how good you feel.” You wanted to roll your eyes at his usual juvenile behavior, but you’d be lying if you said his backhanded degradation wasn’t a turn on.

Chanwoo reached forward to cup your warm cheek, thumb brushing over your plump lips as his movements still haven’t let up.

“You’re speechless now, aren’t you?”                                                                                                

“S-shut up.” You managed to stammer out, a faint yelp leaving you as he came an abrupt stop, hips pressed to yours and cock deep inside the walls of your tight hole.

“If you can still talk, that means I’m not doing a good job.” His voice held a tone that you couldn’t quite describe yet you knew it was trouble, you were even more worried when he leaned forward until your knees were just by your face.

You didn’t have time to process his motives until his hips began moving again, this time at a more brutal pace that made your breath hitch and eyes widen, the same moans you let out before increasing in volume and coming out sporadically, his hips barely leaving yours with each thrust causing the room to fill with the echoes of skin connecting with skin. Your hand left from between your bodies as his abdomen pressed to yours, the friction against your sex more effective than your own hand and every part of your body aching for more, Chanwoo groaning at the way your hole clenched around his member. You couldn’t think straight, wanting to tell him to slow down yet needing him to go faster, wanting him to go deeper yet feeling pain with each stretch of his dick, vision blurry and the Twitch stream you had once forgotten somehow louder while your moans faded into nothingness. Both your breathing was rough, his eyes fixed on your figure and the way it fit beneath him. He waited so long to have you here, wanting this moment to last forever, but the way your head lulled against the mattress, hips eagerly rolling against his as sob-like moans escaped your throat along with his name, he knew he wouldn’t last, already feeling his member twitch inside of you and he could feel you were close to.

“Where?” He asked hurriedly, not bothering to explain as you swallowed hard, trying to find your voice.

“I-inside. Please.” Your voice was simply a whisper at that point but he heard you loud and clear, giving a few more thrust and ready to release into you until-

“Hey, did (Y/n) leave already? We got them their spaghet-“ Hanbin froze at the scene before him, his groupmates not far behind and catching an eyeful of their maknae in such a vulnerable state.

Chanwoo was red faced, eyes squeezing shut and head low as he felt himself release into you involuntarily, your eyes shut as whimpers left your mouth at the feeling of your own orgasm, throat aching from your previous moans, not noticing the group of men staring at the state of you two in the doorway.

“T-the door was open and it sounded like you were playing ‘For Honor’ so we figured we didn’t have to-“

“Just leave. Please.” Chanwoo said hurriedly, your eyes opening to see twelve familiar ones staring down at you, your mouth opening for you to scream but all you could muster was a mortified gasp.

“I’ll just leave this here for you.” He said meekly while placing the bag of food on the floor, shutting the bedroom door without another word as they all felt as awkward as you did.

You weren’t sure if it was the fact they saw you naked, or the fact they potentially witnessed you being fucked, or the fact you weren’t smart enough to close the door for privacy, or the fact they may or may not have watched you have an orgasm while simultaneously being filled with cum, but you were embarrassed. And, from the way Chanwoo tried to avoid your gaze, you could tell he was as well.

“So, you hungry?” He said shyly, your eyes wide in disbelief as he nonchalantly tried to move on, pulling out of you and making his way to the bag lying by his door.

You didn’t think you could move on so easily from a moment like this, the fear of walking out that door and facing any of them gnawing away at you as your once pure reputation with them was now destroyed but, the way Chanwoo approached you with a to-go box of spaghetti and his own of chicken parmesan, stomach rumbling in hunger, you couldn’t deny that for the moment you didn’t mind eating.

[skepticaloccultist]

The Mirror of the Landscape

I thought I would offer this article on landscape magic from the first issue of FOLKWITCH as a public offering this Solstice. May the sun burn bright and the bonfires burn brighter on the hills of your ancestors.

"The Mirror of the Landscape" Eldred Wormwood

The realm of the witch is defined by their interactions with that natural world in which they exist. From the dawn of mankind’s attempts to harness the power of magic we have relied on the subtle web of our interactions with the world “beyond the veil.” That mirror of the landscape in which we read our fortunes and prophecy our circumstance.

Yet little direct attention has been paid to the role that the landscape plays in the practice of witchcraft in the annals of so called occult scholarship. Much has been said about the how of practical magic and ritual, but very rarely do we hear of the why or where.

The landscape, that terrain in which you exist every moment of the day. From the dew covered foggy mountain bottoms to the industrial park urban sprawl the landscape surrounds us. It is the plane of reality in which we live.

You bleed into the ground. Feed the soil with your sweat and tears. Drink from the well that fills from its water table, your body becomes one with the place you inhabit. The landscape and the body are part of the system, the inextricable network of interrelated particles that make up evolving life on earth.

Most humans, mundanes without the perception to see the world for what it is, simply go about the actions of living life in survival mode. Take what they need, give what they must, eat, sleep and eventually die. But the witch sees the world at a resolution differently than most, looks at those shadows that others ignore, sees the light through the trees as more than random, holds on to the language of pattern.

The witch reads the world like a book of secrets, the landscape a story of evolving ideas that we grasp and understand. The clouds like a language, the whisper of the wind through trees, the way that puddles of rain reflect the sky - a signal we come to understand.

Your nose knows the way it seems, a deep sensor of quantum mechanics it feels like a finger into the cloud of potentiality that is the future, guiding you through the fog of possibility until you reach your goal along the path. The nose knows, if only you could speak its subtle language.

Mankind has always existed in the landscape, even in our futile attempts to control it. We are primates, who lived among forests and grass plains so recently that rivers remember when there were no cities. We are part of the natural world, whether we realize it or not. The witch is merely aware of this fact, and that knowledge creates an open state of knowing.

The landscape itself is a sound system, filled with the reverberations of not merely the events that have unfolded in this river of time, but the echos of other rivers descending in a swirling madness of never and always, meting out punishment when needed to teach the seeker a lesson in humility.

The mass of forms on the surface of the earth create chambers that capture the sounds and energies created by living things. These echos are the ancestors, speaking across the illusion of time to teach us the way toward the future. The beat in the echo of space like a drum in a forest, like a stolen P A in a Detroit warehouse.

From the time before written words we had strove to gain a foothold in this primordial state. Abrahamic religions even cite our fall from this world of perception, though go on to ban anyone who would seek it out for themselves.

In the ancient Greek Magical Papyri it is documented our relationship with the spirits who inhabit this physical world around us. While they rarely have corporeal bodies these spirits wield incredible power over the forces of the natural world.

These ‘genius loci’ tend to a static place, inhabiting features in the landscape full of energy. Rivers & streams, mountain valleys, ancient forests, those places where the nexus of being affords them a comfortable habitat.

Yet even in the urban world that we have carved they have evolved to function. Certain forms of building, areas of great human traffic like crossroads, material places we have created for sometimes other reasons that the abode of these spirits have come over time to find ‘genius loci’ of their own. Instead of teeth of thorn and stone they bare teeth of glass and steel.

Not all seekers can walk a path of pure natural landscape. Many are stuck in the sprawl of urban decay, watching ruins of man’s 1970s bad design decisions be polished into glass and steel turds of prefabricated corporate enclaves. Startup incubator hellscapes that shine in the rain like a b set on the Blade Runner story board artwork.

The city is haunted by these corridors of steel, the shades that stalk the streets are those of the dead homeless, of working girls and deranged ex bankers tossed out of their office after breaking down in a fit of anti- capitalist rage and destroying the spreadsheets through which mankind must continually consume.

We work our magic at these crossroads of manmade forms, concrete covered in tar and piss, the smell of car exhaust thick like incense of copal, the steel and glass become an altar at which we sacrifice lives to the deities of consumption and avarice.

In the 1950s a group of modern thinkers created the philosophical genre of psychogeography. The Situationists, primarily under the influence of Guy Debord, outline this critical analysis of the landscape in a series of articles published in the “Internationale Situationniste”.

Debord would publish his seminal work “Theory of the Dérive” originally in Les Lèvres Nues #9 (November 1956). In this short piece he outlines a form of practical divinatory landscape magic (though he does not make reference to magic directly) he dubs “dérive” which translates roughly as “drifting”.

“The ecological analysis of the absolute or relative character of fissures in the urban network, of the role of microclimates, of distinct neighborhoods with no relation to administrative boundaries, and above all of the dominating action of centers of attraction, must be utilized and completed by psychogeographical methods. The objective passional terrain of the dérive must be defined in accordance both with its own logic and with its relations with social morphology.” - Guy Debord, “Theory of the Dérive”

While Debord was primarily preoccupied with the urban environment, these ideas being born out of creative theories of the urban dwelling surrealists and eventually the situationists, they hark back to various forms of wandering and coming to know one’s environment through intimate journey common in rural areas throughout history. The “riding” of Scotland, the “walkabout” of the Australian native tribes, many cultures have a prescribed method of coming to know oneself via the land. Yet rarely do these cultural ideas of landscape exploration delve into the nature of the landscape in any scientific way.

The witch walks as well among the ruins of capitalism as we do the forest floor. We smell the stench of mankind’s death lingering on the horizon, a literal forest fire shouting in hisses and belches “I can’t breathe.” But even the urban witch needs time out away from the designed landscapes of man’s continual betrayal.

Out of the city, into the remaining forests and plains, to the mountains and beaches bereft of human indignities. Here we recharge ourselves, listen at the lectern of that parliament of birds, meditate in that complex drone of bees in a flower covered field. The wind through various trees speaking to us in a tongue we have always known but have no name for, only the sounds that tell us things we have always wondered but were simply afraid to ask.

This is the sabbat, this return to nature. This is the revelry for which we must escape even the most dreary urban existence, this soil from which our blood is fed, these waters to cleanse our spirit in preparation for the journey we must take along the path.

The “land” is itself the surface of the Earth’s crust, an area created by the shifting of the tectonic plates. This thin skin of cooled material harbors and incredibly diverse ecosystem. Yet it is not just above the soil that life lives. Deep into the earth we find an enormous quantity of complex lifeforms existing at depths we have only recently come to understand.

That earth, a particle itself screaming through naked space. A vehicle we inhabit, a space station ringing out dub frequencies into the cosmos. The electromagnetic field of the sun, its orbiting particles/planets shifting over the empty space in the radiant aura of that star at the center of the solar system.

When we look up into space we see nothing more than particles. Screaming suns that ring out just like every atom in your body. Interrelated electromagnetic fields pulsing in waves like haunted sound-systems. Singing that tune your soul needs, urging you on to the sex beat of reproduction. The pounding drums of interstellar rain inhabiting your abode, shining out of your eyes and your mouth like the burning of a salamander born under a blackened sun.

The surface of the earth we inhabit is not merely the geographic variables we perceive, nor is it only the organic film that clings to the upper layers of the outer crust. The earth is inhabited by more beings than can be accounted for with mass and electrons. Beings of light and gravity, magnetism and electricity. They inhabit rivers, mountains, crossroads. They ring out the tune you seek, dance to the beat you need but if only you could see with your ears and hear with your eyes.

Throughout this region there is an electromagnetic field of complex forms, irradiated by material objects (including the earth itself) yet influenced by shifting patterns of energy in space beyond the biosphere. Like a tapestry made of energy this electromagnetic field contains forms of life long known to the witch, yet hardly understood by common society.

These entities exist in ways both dimensionally and frequency shifted from our own plane of existence. While we are able to bridge the gap between our realm and theirs, and these dimensions do share a common fabric, it is only through practice that we can become accustom to their existence.

Spirits; whose names and forms are as varied as the names mankind has given to shades of colour and light. These beings we refer to as ancestor, kith, and elemental are but part of an ecosystem we have little knowledge of, and what rare knowledge we have is occulted.

With various forms of offering, pacts and rituals we have come to learn how to coax them into allegiance. How to work with them and communicate. Though much of our ritual action is not for them, it is to prepare us as practitioners for the mental and emotional toil of interaction with beings whose existence is obscure. This is why our offerings must come from our possessions, must have meaning to us. Our mental desire projected into the value of an object enriches its value in our trade with those who inhabit the landscape.

As old as it is in the realm of practical magic that concept we have been referring to as “landscape magic” is long overdue for a more accurate descriptive terminology. We have relied for centuries on the designations of various religious authorities to give form to our understanding of these beings, even in the days of ancient Greece, where the witch’s perception was shaped by the everyday culture and beliefs of the ancient Greek.

The secularization of witchcraft, particularly in the practices of the folkwitch, leaves us a framework that can adopt to a practitioner’s own religious beliefs, or be parallel to them in the practicalities of magical practice.

Yet the terminology of “landscape magic” is limited through lack of direct dialog between the disparate practitioners. When we turn to those authors whose work have touched on landscape magic beyond the psychogeographers, (historians like George Ewart Evans, folklorists like Katharine Briggs) we see a pattern of understanding in the practice of common folk magic throughout the world of interaction with a class of spirits whose form and function are shaped equally by the physical manifestation of the geographic landscape in which they inhabit, and the socio cultural framework of the practitioner in their understanding of the shape of the universe.

When we have considered the language of magic and its history of cultural appropriation we have tried in many ways to find a terminology that best represents the broader ideas encapsulated in “landscape magic”, in particular relation to the folkwitch.

Jake Stratton Kent, in his landmark text “Geosophia”, outlines the history and origins of grimoiric magic through the concept of Goetia, a body of knowledge whose origins are derived primarily from the ancient Greek Magical Papyri. While he doesn’t dissect the name of his volume the term “geosophia” is a Greek compound derived of “geo” for earth and “sophia” for wisdom.

The relation of goetia, though distinct and historical, to landscape magic is apparent in that many of the concepts related to spirits we as magic practitioners have come to understand find their origins in the goetia.

I have proposed the term “geotia” (geo sha) to give a broader modern terminology to the idea of landscape magic. It takes the reverse of two vowels in goetia and alters its meaning to one more rooted in the land itself and less tied to a specific massive historic body of knowledge.

Geotia is the state of being within the land itself. The total perceptual elimination of the culturally perceived boundaries between oneself/ species and the natural world. The prerequisite state of the practice of folk witchcraft.

Thus the intersection of geotia and witchcraft is a shared understanding of the form that reality takes when stripped bare of our projected ideas of consensual (culturally acceptable) reality. When we embrace the seeking of that state of geotia we begin to see more widely the potential of energy that exists in the world around us. The folkwitch comes to work a specific patch of land, one that is tended to and looked after by the witch.

The landscape that you make your patch is populated by a wildlife beyond physical form. Not just in the echo of your ancestors, but beings who have lived as long as there have been homosapiens, often longer.

You bleed into the ground, it drinks of your essence and it knows you. You feel outward into the landscape. In some places on the earth it is calm, its hills and valleys having long settled with history. But in others it is marred with the darkness of bloodshed, disease and war. Haunted landscapes that linger still because we refuse to let them settle, they instill us with that dread of our species past.

The words of your ancestors echo down the dna line, reverberate in the sound chamber of the landscape. They teach you who you are and who you are meant to be. They guide you on your path, but like a willow-the- wisp there is no catching them, only a journey further and further into the endless forest of self discovery.

The witch is the link between the ostracized humanity of the late 21st century and the natural world. We are the walkers who can hear, perceiving the true structure of the world we inhabit, beyond the illusion society teaches is “real.” We have been to the other side of the hedge, and have ridden the night winds. We fear not death, and often flirt with its sweet caress. The witch is the guardian of the land, but what we guard it from is humanity.

  Bibliography:

Guy Debord. Theory of the Dérive. Les Lèvres Nues #9. 1956.

Jake Stratton-Kent. Geosophia. Scarlet Imprint. 2013.

George Ewart Evans. The Pattern Under the Plow: Aspects of Folk-Life in East Anglia. Faber and Faber. 1966.

Katharine Briggs. Pale Hecate’s Team. Rutledge. 1962.

  +++

This article originally appeared in FOLKWITCH vol 1, 2019.