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strawbrygashez · 1 year

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Fem!Reader x Postal 1 Dude

Haircut

I noticed there is no fics of p1 Dude getting the p2 hair cut so 😱😱 I thought I would fix that!!!!!!!! UhhmmMM kinda of a au I guess where p1 didn’t go postal and he is trying to better himself :,0c tw for talking about religion uHH and scars

The fic gets a little silly towards the end :,)

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As you swept the floors of the old hair salon for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, all you could think about was how much you wanted to quit. Since yet again, you’d been left alone to handle customer after customer all afternoon because all of your co-workers had came up with some reason or another to ditch early.

You hadn’t minded it the first couple times to be honest. You had initially thought maybe things just ran a bit differently here since all the workers seemed so tight-knit, which well, was the truth but you also quickly caught onto the fact that they all treated you differently since you were the younger newbie while they were all older ladies that for some reason acted like they had reasons to think they were all better than you and you had all the time in the world to work while they ‘needed’ to go out and do god knows what. You were sure having all this extra work dumped onto you recently breaks some kinda law or something somehow, but each night you came home, you were too exhausted to dig into it all since you felt like you couldn’t do much else other than have a quick meal and pass out for the night each night.

You sighed as you sat the broom back up against the wall and told yourself you’d have to remember to look up labor laws when you would finally wake up whenever you did tomorrow. Thank god it was Sunday tomorrow. It was the only day the salon was closed all day since your co-workers were die hard Christians who attended church.

While they were all going to be out worshiping some man in the sky, you were going to be sleeping in and eventually trying out that new game you bought and maybe listen to that album that you hadn’t had time recently to go through. Man once you left this place and joined a more stable and less stress inducing environment-

The sound of the loud ding from the bell above the front door cut your thoughts off as you jumped in surprise. You forgot there had been one more name put in for today since it had became dark out and things had slowed down and gotten quiet.

Quickly turning your head towards the front door you were met with a sight you really hadn’t expected. There, standing in front of the door was that one man you’ve seen a couple times acting strangely around town. It was really hard not to notice him to be honest since he was so tall, large, ginger and imposing. He also dressed somewhat odd for the current season and had shaggy long hair.

You’d been curious about him for some time now to be honest. He stood out so much and you had always loved and admired that in a person but right now you couldn’t help feeling at least a little nervous at the fact he was just…standing there and looking at you like a deer in headlights but since this was the last customer for the night and you could go home after this… maybe you could just speed this along or somehow kindly get him to leave if he was still freaking you out so you gave him the best smile you could muster up before you made your way up towards the old busted up computer near the front to check for his appointment information.

“Hi there! Are you uhm….” You refreshed the page the computer always sat on and looked at the name put in. Dude? Oh yeah.. you remember seeing that name added earlier on in the day and honestly thought it had been some kinda weird prank to just mess with someone’s schedule but he was here at the same time the appointment was set up for. “Uh- Dude?” You asked before looking up towards him again. He only stood there for a moment longer before making his way up toward you with a nod as he looked towards the ground. “Oh.” You smiled as he stood awkwardly in front of you and rung his hands together slightly. “Is that a nickname or something?”

The man glanced up at you and shrugged. “I just go by Dude.” He mumbled out. Oh wow.. his voice was a lot more different than you’d imagined it being. For some reason since he gave off loner vibes you were thinking he’d sound kinda nerd-ish but this man could make tons of money doing audiobooks if he wanted, but something told you he wouldn’t be willing to do that. He really should though with that deep, smooth voice. “Oh okay. I see. I thought it was just someone pulling a prank.. we get crazy names sent in sometimes yknow?” You explained still grinning. Dude didn’t do much though other than nod again and put his hands into his pockets while looking at you.

“Yeah.. anyways. Come with me if you wanna get started or if you need a little time to decide-” he shook his head in the negative. “Ah ok. Follow me then.” You said as you motioned over and led him towards the only booth still opened. You spun the chair towards his direction and he took a seat though he did so somewhat awkwardly. You could just tell he was anxious with the way he seemed so tense with almost every move and all you could really figure was he wasn’t used to both talking to people and going to places like this often. He probably hasn’t had his hair professionally cut in years by the looks of it. Not that it looked particularly bad, just his hair was super long with some choppy parts that weren’t probably put in there on purpose.

And from the looks of it, it didn’t seem like he didn’t keep good care of it either since you could already see a tangle you’d have to probably fight with. “So..what were you looking to get done today sir?” You asked as you went ahead and grabbed a cape and began to put it around him. “Just a trim.. I guess.” He mumbled again.

You hummed and once the cape was secure, you began to move his hair out of his face from behind as you looked at him in the mirror in front of you both and that’s when you noticed, with the booths light shining brightly and just feeling the hair itself, that his hair was pretty greasy. You weren’t going to judge him for it of course, you’ve seen much worse from much ruder customers so all you did for a moment was just mess with his hair a bit longer before deciding to do a little something extra for him.

“Dude?”

“Hm?”

“Since I’m the only one here and I’m closing up shop after you leave.. I wouldn’t mind washing you hair a bit. I think it could help out with how your hair will come out.” You offered with another grin. Honestly you’ve always felt a little bad for the guy since it seemed like he probably didnt or couldn’t practice self care often. “Can’t afford it.” He replied blankly.

“Oh- No! I mean like I’ll do it for free. I don’t mind and I think your hair will turn out really nice after a rinse.. and well I kinda like playing with longer hair anyways.” You said, hoping the last bit will get him to agree. He was silent for a minute as though he was weighing his options before he answered. “If it won’t be much of a issue I guess that’s fine..”

“It won’t be at all!” You assured him. “But would you mind taking off the sunglasses? It might make things a little difficult.” You added in.

He gave a little nod before taking off his sunglasses and sat them down on the little counter table before he rubbed his eyes, trying to get adjusted to the brightness of the room (you supposed) and once he moved his hands and finally opened his eyes, you really couldn’t help but to let out a “oh my god..” since the man’s eyes were such a vibrant green that you’d never seen before in your life. It almost seemed unnatural how bright his eyes and hair are. He was honestly a pretty handsome guy with all of his unique features and traits.

He looked kinda anxious though at you after you said that and kinda frowned while looking away. “What?”

“Sorry it’s just- your eyes. They are so fucking bright. I’ve never seen anyone with eyes like yours before..it’s really cool Dude!” You explained to him as you watched him look off. Noticing his face going a little red, you couldn’t help but feel a little flutter in your heart. Though he was pretty intimating on the outside, you were quickly learning he’s probably always this nervous. He said a quiet thanks while still not looking towards you.

You only stood there a moment longer before deciding to go ahead and prepare to get things set up over at the hair washing area, grabbing a shampoo and conditioner before calling him over to you once you’d gotten settled. “Ah, before you sit down maybe you should take your leather coat off. I would hate for it to get messed up with all the water and stuff.” You walked up towards him as you continued “Here let me help take the cape o-”

“N-no I got it. I can just take it off with it on.” He assured you before shimmying the jacket off and tossing it to a empty chair nearby. You couldn’t help but notice what looked like older scars all up and down his arms since he was wearing a t-shirt underneath but of course you didn’t say anything. You had your own scars you didn’t want someone else asking about so you just nodded. “Alright. Well, sit down if that’s everything and you’re ready.” You said as you made your way back to your spot as he listened. “And lean back.”

Once he did so and you’d started the process, you reminded him to tell you if the water was too hot or cold which he replied to with “it’s fine right now”, and with that knowledge you finally set to work.

You never really got to mess around much with mens hair. Most guys that came in or just lived around town in general had boring, short hair that you couldn’t ever do much with, which was another reason you’d wanted to know more about the man. He seemed to be the only other alternative person in this town other than yourself. So it was great you finally were maybe getting to know him some and being able to run your fingers through such bright red hair that you’d been curious about for a bit. You’d honestly thought maybe he had it dyed the first time you seen him but nah, this close you could see Dudes freckles, and those eyes proved he’s just 100% ginger through and through. Had you ever met a ginger before actually? You’d met some people with dyed red hair before in your old town but that was like.. red red this is red and-

Shit. Since you were lost in your thoughts, you knocked over the bottle of conditioner you had set on the other side of Dudes head which had startled him. “Ah fuck. Sorry about that Dude. I think I really need to get some sleep soon, huh?” You joked as you leaned over him to set the bottle back up. When you were sitting it back up you heard him make a strange sound however and once you gave him a quick look- yeah. You had your tits basically right in his face and he was redder than his own goddamn hair. It really didn’t help you’d had only a tank top on for a shirt since you’d gotten hot while cleaning around the salon earlier. “Oh- I uh-” you muttered out as you felt your own face getting hot since he was looking at you with those dumb green eyes, wide opened.

He held his hands together under his chest and quickly just tried to shift his gaze up at the ceiling, probably just hoping you’d ignore what just happened. Which, yeah what the hell were you going to say? ‘Sorry for putting my boobs in your face?’ Augh, god how embarrassing..You’d had it happen before where a guy was checking..those out while you were washing his hair but you felt more pissed off than embarrassed back then. Dude over here looked like he was trying to remember everything he’d ever learned at church about being a good christian boy which was honestly kinda cute despite the fact you both just wanted to hide from each other right now.

You just sucked it up though and tried to carry on with washing his hair and he helped a bit by settling to close his eyes while you continued and at least near the end, he looked more relaxed while his eyes were closed than they’d been ‘fighting every demon in his mind’ forced closed earlier.

Soon you had him back over at the original chair you had him in, currently brushing his hair. “So, are you sure you wanna do this big guy?” You asked as you got his hair finally ready to cut. “Yeah. Just uh-, not too much. Just a trim remember?” He asked as he stared at himself and you in the mirror. “Yep. Just going to fix it up a bit.” You said as you went ahead and cut a particular piece of his hair that had been bugging you with how janky it had been cut. “Do you usually cut your hair yourself? Or do you get it cut somewhere else?” You asked.

“Cut it myself. I went here once uh..maybe three years ago and I got yelled at to leave by some lady.”

“Why? What did ya do?”

“Nothing. She said something about devil worship or something. Which was funny since I was wearing the same necklace I’m wearing right now back then.” He replied. His gaze now mostly focused on only you in the mirror. You rolled your eyes at the fact one of your co-workers actually said that. “Damn. Sorry. I couldn’t even tell you who it was that probably said that since they are all like that.”

He gave you the first grin ever since he’d gotten here though only for a moment. “Yeah. Thought I would maybe get lucky and get someone less crazy this time around. All the other places that cut hair are too long of a walk or drive to get to.”

You nodded. “Mhm. That’s the only reason I’m working at this dump. My place isn’t too far from here. I’m not really into all the Christianity stuff..” Remembering the cross necklace he wore, you quickly added in, “No offense.” And then, oh boy did he do the most attractive chuckle you’ve ever heard. It was oddly dark which was.. very hot. “None taken. I uhm. Kinda have a weird relationship with religion. I won’t tell anyone what to do with their life. I wanted people help people see the ‘good’ before but-…….” His slight grin faltered back into a blank expression. “Eh uh. Nevermind.”

Deciding to ignore that last part for now thought it was a little odd.. you agreed. “I don’t have the time to even worry about that stuff. All I ever do it work or sleep. Well maybe I could dream about Jesus and whatever in my sleep but eh.”

“Nah. Just do what feels natural to you if it’s healthy of course. I think at least.. but uh- anyways. I’m glad I got you today. You seem really cool. A lot better than those old ladies.”

“Well that’s not much of a competition but thanks.” You joked with a grin. He grinned also again at that. His smile was something you were beginning to cherish since it just gave him this sort of glow.. “You seem cool too. I’ve seen you around and wanted to know you to be honest.”

Dude was silent as he just listened to more of his hair get snipped off. “Oh really? Well that’s nice.. I’m usually in my own head so much I don’t really notice who’s around.” He replied honestly. “I see. I know I’m not a rememberable lady. You don’t gotta lie.” You joked again to which he rolled his eyes to with a grin.

Soon enough you finished with his hair and both of you were extremely happy with the results. It looked way more healthy with all those dead ends and tangles gone. Once you were showing it off to him, he’d smiled wider than you’d seen him smile all night which again tugged at your heart. You knew he just needed that extra push to see how great you can feel when you take care of yourself.

Another tug to your heart came around the time he’d paid and was getting ready to leave, knowing that he probably wouldn’t come back again for a while and you’d just have to go back to cranky Karens wanting their hair cut once work started back up. You really wanted to spend a lot more time with him and get to know him even more and what his story was..maybe you could ask if he’s busy-

“Anyways. Thanks for the haircut y/n. I really like it. I’ll see you around?” He asked, interrupting your thoughts like he’d done when you first met him. “Oh uh- yeah! Next time I see you in public I’ll try to say hi!” You smiled. He nodded with a grin also and after a couple more words, he left just like that. Damn. Well at least he knew of your existence now. That’s something at least.

And what do you know?! A couple weeks later Dude reappeared to your surprise! He didn’t put in a appointment this time which annoyed one of your annoying co-workers but you honestly couldn’t give a damn. Since you had no one else specifically booked for you today you happily took him and cut his hair way shorter than last time per his request. Apparently he found having even semi shorter hair helped him feel better about himself so why not try something new and see how he’d like something way shorter. And in his words it would be easier to take care of so (though with a slightly heavy heart since you liked his long hair) you gave him what he wanted and not surprisingly, he looked damn handsome. You were sure so many people would be jealous of how he could rock both short and long hair, you know you were at least.

He had that big smile again and wouldn’t stop touching it and going on about how nice it felt to not have all that hair, making you giggle a little as you took the cape off him. “You look great Dude. The only thing I don’t like is all this damn hair I’m gonna have to clean up off the ground now.” You joked, ignoring the side eye you got from the worker walking past you for ‘swearing.’

Dude ran his hand through his hair one more time before turning the chair around towards your direction, his smile not leaving as he reached into the inside of his trench coat. “I’m glad you like it also because I was wondering..” he trailed off until he found whatever it was he was looking for, which turned out to be a random fake rose. “I should have asked before I left last time but uh- I would like to get to know you better and they are playing this one horror movie at the theater tonight’s so.. I was wondering if you’d like to come with?”

You stood frozen a bit though you could feel your face get a little warm which wasn’t helped by the customer next to you both covering her mouth all ‘happy shocked’ for you both (and again, you ignored all the side eyes of your co-workers) as you took the ‘rose’ from Dude and grinned. “Of course Dude! I was hoping you’d ask to be honest.” He grinned and stood up. “Great! I’ll see you at eight?” He asked.

You looked around at the old, saggy, mean ladies you were supposed to call ‘family’ and smiled. “Eh fuck it. Let’s go hang out right now. They can handle this place without me. Can’t you ladies?” You grinned with a goodbye wave as you took Dudes hand and left.

#postal dude #postal fic #postal 1 #postal dude x reader #sorry for any mistakes!!

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aita-blorbos · 6 months

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AITA for ruining my ex-best friend’s life/planning to end it?

So I (28M) have been friends with this guy (33M) for a few years now. I met him when he was going through a really tough time, and we became really close. To be honest, he kind of made me who I am today. He’s the only person who truly knows me, and I had thought he was the only person I could trust. However, recently he did something unforgivable.

For context, before I met him, I was dating this girl; let’s call her K. I had liked her for a while, but didn’t get up the courage to ask her out until I had known her for several years. When we were together, it was amazing, but she eventually found out that I had killed her abusive boyfriend (to protect her, mind you) and she freaked out on me. She started calling me all sorts of hurtful things, saying I was crazy, saying she must be crazy for having cared about me, threatening to go to the police, and… I don’t know what happened. I guess I just lost control of myself, because I was trying to talk her down, and… well, long story short, she died. I was utterly devastated, but it was shortly after this that I met my now ex-best friend, and he helped me through it.

Now to the present issue. Everything was fine with my ex-best friend until I met the woman of my dreams. She and I had a lot in common, and astonishingly, she was the spitting image of K. I felt like the universe had granted me a second chance at love. But my friend didn’t see it that way. He had always been a little clingy, but when I started dating this woman, he got *really* weird about it. He tried to tell me that I couldn’t possibly love her, since I’d only known her for a few days, and when that didn’t work, he tried to convince me that I was going to kill her like I did K. That really messed me up for a while, but my new girlfriend convinced me that I would never hurt her. My ex-friend was not happy at all that I had found a woman who would take me as I am. Apparently he couldn’t stand to see me happy and independent from him for once, and so he had my girlfriend killed. And then he lied to my face about it. He wanted to be my shoulder to cry on. It was then that I found out he actually believed he was in love with me. When I eventually found out it was him who killed her, I decided that he needed to pay. So I constructed a plan to take away every good thing in his life- first, his peace, then his job as mayor, then his belief in his own goodness, and finally his life. I hired an old acquaintance to impersonate the ghost of his dead father and haunt him. After that, I was able to manipulate him into saying on camera that he hates the people of this city, therefore destroying his image as the beloved mayor. Then I lured him into a death trap, made sure he knew I was trying to kill him, told him why, and then let him escape. The next step in my plan was to have my friend kidnap him and torture him in order to get him to reveal my location. The idea was to prove to him that he was incapable of love- even though he claims to love me, I know he would betray me at the drop of a hat to save his own skin. However, he didn’t behave as expected. He actually refused to give me up. And now I don’t know what to do. Should I proceed? I had thought my revenge was justified, but he’s defied my expectations.

In short, AITA for enacting revenge on my ex-best friend for killing my girlfriend even though he was apparently sincere in the claim that he did it for love?

#am i the asshole #aita #unreality

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teethkid67 · 1 year

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hi hi i Also have gone through the block party tag today and. oh my god it is so fascinating. i would love to hear more about techno and his big fuck off jeep if you'd like to discuss it but honestly it's all so interesting in general

need to draw a bptechno....

similar to how he was used in canon when he first joins, bptechno operates as a protector of sorts for pogtopia tommy and wil... its how he became an eaglescout boyscout survivalist nerd type idk how to explain it.

he moves in (courtesy of our awesome real estate agent sam) and. idk. offers his arsenal. hes some sort of combined history/military/survival buff who thinks this whole situation is, frankly, stupid but is enjoying watching and awkwardly offering consolation to tommy (mentally unwell) and wilbur (mentally unwell-er) . he brings them rations and tends their stupid cave campfire and wakes tommy up for school on mondays.

technos big fuck-off jeep (which i have not been able to stop saying) was as previously stated a sort of silly idea that evolved into a serious take .. i like to think block party is a modern au on acid with so much blood .... but yes hes one of those vigilant paranoid types i think. and as a result he has many things to protect himself and shit . this includes his huge armored car because he believes it is necessary living in the suburban midwest. hes got guns and knives and shit, hatchets and is generally prepared for almost anything that could come at him. bro wears combat boots everywhere . i think he still dyes his hair. hes a little bit of a weirdo

so yes he offers his weapons and shit to the lmanburgians and then they win and im not sure what his motivation is but eventually he runs his huge armored car through the front of the (l)manburg house :3 weird man swag

butcher army is really fun. they attempt to murder techno (i think they shoot at him or try to like Stone him to death medieval style? its silly and also its been a second) and uhhh he runs to erets house after that (bc thats the bp final control room) and uhhh slashes through quackity's face with a garden rake. exter exter read all about it here

hes painfully socially awkward hes resourceful hes a little bit unhinged. he has a street-illegal armored car with attached machine gun and everybody is dead silent about it. hes worn the same brand of boots since he was 16 and he can only cook boxed&canned meals. hes a little freak and i like him a lot

#subtle back pack plug bc ughhhh h's writing is killer #<- litchrally haha pun intended #dsmp #block party #asks #idk techno is one of the lesser developed bp characters but i really like to think about him. hes violent and defensive and scary and a li #little bit of a loser

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kattythingz · 2 years

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Just For You

(Inspired by an ask which I instigated, and written for the following peeps whose excitement guided me through the process: @datdangernoodle @evilwriter37 @autumndragon. I hope it was worth the year-long wait for y’all ;w;)

Summary: a what-if story told through 4 (5?) varying perspectives of people who love Hiccup Haddock, +1 of the person learning to love Hiccup Haddock.

959 / 7475

The Thorston Sheep Rocketing Games were no fun when the mind was already preoccupied. Ruffnut had spent the entire day demolishing Tuffnut with her dragon’s magnificently explosive firepower, sending sheep flailing at heights her muttonhead brother couldn’t even dream of achieving with his dragon, but eventually, it just became too freaking much even for her to handle.

“Hey, what do you think’s got Hiccup’s leg twisted today?” she asked after Tuffnut predictably missed and sent the sheep straight onto hard, unforgiving rock.

“Oh, sure, soften the horrible blow of defeat, why don’t ya?” Tuffnut griped. “It’s not like you’re trying to distract me or anything, you horrible, cheating woman.” He shot her a single-eyed glare, which still did nothing to intimidate her, no matter what lies his dented little skull kept telling him. “Yeah, that’s right. I know what you’re doing. I saw you feeding Barf those fishes that make him all gassy the other day! Don’t think I haven’t noticed your scheming ways.”

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. “Okay, first of all, you don’t have any evidence to prove that; you’re just mad ‘cause you’re the big stinking yak again. And second—”

She yanked the retrieved sheep from his arms, tossing it over her shoulder.

“—this is serious,” she finished. “As in, I think there’s something seriously wrong with Hiccup. You saw him when he got back from that ship; don’t you think he was being a little too honest about the whole thing?”

Tuffnut frowned, those rusty gears-for-brains abruptly tuning to Ruffnut’s. “Now that you mention it, he was being weirdly TMI.” He rubbed his chin in thought. “Maybe the shock of seeing thirteen corpses killed by the Scourge was just too much for his brilliant little brain to handle. Shock can really mess you up, you know.”

“Yeah, maybe…” She paused. “But it’s still weird, isn’t it? I mean, usually when something horrible like that happens to him and we don’t need to know about it, he just keeps all the details to himself. He wouldn’t just tell us he found thirteen corpses; he’d just, I don’t know, say it was ‘a lot’ and focus on the important part!”

“Unless…”

Tuffnut’s eyes grew somber as he trailed off, a new, different understanding smoothing his frown into a straight line.

Ruffnut braced herself.

“Unless?” she said.

“Unless,” he said, “the Scourge wasn’t the important part.”

On another day, it would’ve been funny how packed those six paltry words came out to where even Barf and Belch tilted up their heads in attention (you know, because they couldn’t understand Norse). But Ruffnut wasn’t laughing right now, and neither was Tuffnut, for that matter.

“Then what is the important part?” she asked, the first tremors of dread breaking her mask.

Tuffnut turned nervously flitting eyes onto her, but before he could properly put words to his own concern, Barf and Belch let out simultaneous growls.

“Barf?”

“Belch?”

Barf and Belch angled their heads left as though reaching for a distant noise, and, for a moment, Ruffnut almost wrote it off as maybe one of the boars unnoticeably escaping from the Boar Pit. But then they were looking right, then left, then right, and then—

Belch’s pupils narrowed into slits.

“Seriously, boy—boys? Boys,” Ruffnut said, “seriously. What’s—?”

She was eating sky before she could even finish.

She wasn’t sure whose scream pitched uncomfortably close to Snotlout’s in surprise—the sound itself shifted into gleeful cackling pretty quickly, and it could’ve been either one of them, really—but the once distant blur sharpening into view the closer Barf and Belch got to it was unmistakable.

“Hey, isn’t that Hiccup’s hut?” Tuffnut asked uncertainly. “Why’s Barf and Belch taking us to Hiccup’s hut?”

Ruffnut swallowed. “I don’t know, but it can’t be good.” She patted Barf’s neck in silent request for him to pick up the pace, and Tuffnut let out another shout as the wind suddenly blasted in their faces.

When her vision cleared, they were landing near Hiccup’s blacksmith stall.

And Hiccup was nowhere to be seen.

“Hey, Hiccup, you here?” Ruffnut called.

“This isn’t funny, H!” Tuffnut said when the words simply echoed back at them. “Seriously. Nobody’s laughing, and that’s saying something, considering it’s us!”

Silence.

Barf and Belch clearly didn’t appreciate said silence as they roared into the tiny but open space. It bounced around the air for a second, before, finally, a louder, shriller roar sounded in response.

Ruffnut didn’t wait for Barf and Belch to react this time. She hopped down and sprinted for the source of the familiar cry. Tuffnut and Barf and Belch followed behind her, sending tremors through the planks.

“Hiccup, you better answer me right this second, or else I swear to Loki—”

She cut off as a mass of black slammed into her, sending her stumbling back into Barf and Belch.

“Woah, T! Chill! It’s just us; we’re your friends, remember?” Tuffnut said. “And speaking of friends, you wouldn’t happen to know where ol’ H is, do you?”

It didn’t seem like Toothless heard him, as he instead looked up at Barf and Belch and growled something to them in low, whining tones. Barf and Belch wheezed back their own agitation, and Toothless whined again.

“Hey, Toothless, calm down, buddy,” Ruffnut told the frantic dragon soothingly. The last word lingered on her tongue like ash, and it reminded her, suddenly and with all the force of a bludgeon, just why Barf and Belch had dragged them here.

Toothless made another distressed noise.

“Where’s Hiccup, Toothless?” she asked after a fearful beat.

Toothless turned big, terrified eyes on her and, without another sound, darted further into the enclosed room.

Her heart in her throat, Ruffnut made chase.

read full fic here!

#HTTYD #Race to the Edge #Hiccup Haddock #Ruffnut Thorston #Tuffnut Thorston #Fishlegs Ingerman #Snotlout Jorgenson #Astrid Hofferson #Viggo Grimborn #Hiccstrid #Vigcup #500+#preview #fluff and angst #fanfiction

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cricketrocker · 2 years

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That Moment of Silence Between

Okay. I have decided to cancel my "True Confessions" series. That's my decision and there's not a rulebook by which anyone can call a penalty on that. I will tell you, however, that I still read the newspaper every morning. Yep, the real newspaper. Based on your age, world perspective, feelings about 5AM technology, etc.--you may be asking "What's a newspaper?" or "They still do that?" Yes, they do! I cannot even wake up early enough to see the paper-boy on his bicycle toss it over the Hell Bitch (that is still not quite fitting in the garage) and onto my sidewalk. But between 5:35 and 5:40AM every morning, I creep out my front door, pick up the paper, and scamper back into the house before joggers see me and my morning-hair.

I read all the paper. By "read" I mean that I generally parse headlines until I get to the comics. Then in the comics, there's this weird one I've started to read this year: "Judge Parker." In case you don't know--this is one of those "boring comics" that I'd never read until one day I did and never stopped. Judge Parker was a widower and a judget with two children, Randy and Ann. Later, Judge Parker married a younger woman, Kate. Initially he was a dashing figure who solved crimes and chased criminals, he kind of turned into a dull and serious judge who rarely strayed from his courtroom--and the strip began to transition away from the Judge and over to Sam Driver, a young attorney. I mean. I don't even know how Sam relates to Judge Parker. I couldn't tell you who Judge Parker was anymore. But anyway, there's a lot of drama. And today, Sam and Abbey are split up, their world is torn asunder and Abby says the above:

"...exist in that moment of silence between what was and what will be."

Silly Judge Parker. But not so silly today. What Abby said stuck with me as she described that place. That place between what was and what will be.

THAT PLACE BETWEEN WHAT IS AND WHAT WILL BE.

Okay--now I'm switching over to Top Gun: Maverick for a few minutes. Too close for missles, so I'm switching to guns. Ha ha. Mayday, mayday, Mav's in trouble, he's in a flat spin, he's headed out to sea. That's what Iceman said into the radio when Mav's F-14 flew right through Ice's jetwash. And the thing is, it was just a freak accident. But Mav's RIO (radar intercept officer) Goose hit his head on the canopy when ejecting, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So. Top Gun. Yeah. Remember how I'm sure I said something about how my parents never let me see any movies growing up? Top Gun was different. I was 12. My little brother was 8. My dad had been in the Navy. Not sure of all the backstory, but my dad took my brother and I to the Los Alatos movie theatre in Albuquerque to see Top Gun. I mean. Wow. WOW. That open scene and where the Top Gun anthem and all the jets and the fog and how it explodes into Kenny Loggins' DANGER ZONE. WOW. I'd gone to 12-year old heaven. But then when the profanity started flying and the TAKE MY BREATH AWAY SO MUCH TONGUE--I was suer that I was going to full time hell, and kept glancing over at my dad to notice him totally geeking out over the NAVY JETS, and then checked over at my brother to make sure his head was on fire, I settled in and Top Gun became my thing. I eventually bought it on VHS and made an audio recording of it on cassette for my Walkman. While other kids were playing real music, I was jamming out to just listening to the audio of Top Gun. I had the whole thing memorized. I was going to be a Naval Aviator. I don't know. Then when I was 13 we moved from Albuquerque to Texas.

Anyway. When I heard that Top Gun: Maverick was coming out way back in 2019 for summer 2020--I made plans with my dad (and brother) to go and see the sequel. How amazing and lucky it was/is to get that chance. But then COVID delay 1. Then COVID delay 2. Then FINALLY in May 2022, it happened. We saw it together, all the families were there. The genius innovation of reserved seats made the same row possible. Left work early. Met everyone there. Finally. And it was truly as good and actually much better than I'd thought possible. I sat until the very last second of the credits. No one else was left in that place. Went out to the lobby, hugged my brother and dad. It was a moment, truly. Sometimes you win, 36 years later. Lucky, blessed, charmed, whatever--it was a moment.

I'd see it as many more times as I can without being too weird and I guess soon it'll be streaming. But that's not why I bring it up. I bring it up because a cool thing happened--in July, I had to do something called The Predictive Index thing with HR. The Predictive Index is one of those new tools that help give you insight into yourself as a HUMAN, as an EMPLOYEE, and as a MANAGER or TEAM MEMBER. I'm in the process of doing this myself--but then also asking my team to do it so I can just be better. Hey, any insight is good insight? I guess? But when insight isn't good, maybe it can just be GREAT! I took this tool--which you fill out to measure your cognitive abilities, personality traits, and behavioral tendancies--and it said that I am a:

Right? Maybe this is the perfect tool. Or maybe I am. Whatever.

I'm not quite sure yet whether or not this is just kind of like a horoscope yet, because I haven't looked at what other people might be. But LOOK--the tool said I AM MAVERICK, and kind of hit the nail on the head with a few things. Even a jet, the F14 original Top Gun style and not the new F18 style--so maybe that is because I am an OLD Maverick. We'll see.

Maybe you probably won't be lucky enough to ever manage me, or manage anything for that matter, maybe you're a full-manager, maybe you're a freaking manager of managers, all you do is manage until you're blue in the face, but you should totaly take your PI and see if it somehow relates to your favorite movie or life or when you were 12.

Right now my favorite part of Top Gun: Maverick has to do with the character of Phoenix (pictured below). She is a badass and in one scene she has my favorite line of the whole movie. SPOILER ALERT--it happens when essentially Maverick has to STEAL A JET because he's just been fired so that he can prove to his mean John Hamm Admiral Boss that he is the best of the best and it really can be done--well he STEALS A JET and proves that miracles can happen--while he is doing it, right before he does it, they cut to Phoenix who says in the coolest voice ever, "Nice."

That's my point.

There's what happens in that moment between what has happened and what will happen. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck right there where anything is possible. Like the Lottery. Like when the missle that's going to blow your jet smithereens is fired and when it hits. Like the space between jump and gravity and impact--or flight. Like that little blink between laughter and tears. There's that moment.

"Nice."

Worth the price of admission, even 36 years later.

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weirdlandtv · 3 years

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Outasight! The inimitable Mary Jane Watson, from the Spider-Man comics. The evolution of her character is quite interesting. She started out as a typical Sixties party vamp, human confetti, spouting that crazy Stan Lee hip youngster lingo that today reads like a guided tour of catchphrase hell, all swinging go-go poses and cheeky dimples, but gradually she developed into a more layered character, after the death of Gwen Stacy. (The comic book genre as a whole basically evolved with the characters—grew up.) Eventually we learned that MJ’s life of headlong hedonism was really—wouldn’t you know it—a kind of exuberant escape from an abusive childhood. Everyone in the Marvel universe is traumatized one way or the other.

From that famous introduction panel on (“Face it, tiger… You just hit the jackpot!”) Mary Jane really leaped off the page, didn’t she. Her red hair matches Spider-Man’s costume the same way Doc Samson’s hair matches Hulk’s skin (what an insight), and I was surprised to learn that she wasn’t actually intended to be Peter Parker’s main love interest—surprised that Stan Lee and John Romita didn’t immediately SEE it (they kept pushing Gwen—poor MJ losing their brief dance duel). At one point Mary Jane was even pretty much written out of Peter’s life, and thus the comics, until other writers dragged her back again. Then, famously, after years of circling around each other Mary Jane married Peter, and then, just as famously, the marriage years later was annulled again by the gods at Marvel. Marvel stories are often contrived to the point of absurdism anyway of course but that particular story seemed to go for some kind of world record. (In the newspaper strip the annulment turned out to be a bad dream, so Peter and Mary Jane remained married there. Mysterio can only dream of causing so much confusion.)

There’s a neat bit of characterization in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #130 (image below, art by Ross Andru) where Mary Jane visits Peter’s apartment and casually checks out his record collection while she and Peter are talking about college. It’s such a smart bit: it’s exactly what a music lover like her would do. (She often heads for the record player, but to dance; here, it’s more subtle.) There she is, impossibly cool in her 1970s Afghan coat and platform shoes (miraculously her ankles survived the 70s), sparring a little with Peter, exchanging glib quips, while checking out an Aretha Franklin record (and leaving her fingerprints on it). She obviously longs for company. (Whenever she appears in the comic during that period she’s inviting people or being invited.) Peter however, more often than not, seems to regard her as a bit of a nuisance. He’s amused by her, but he doesn’t take her seriously. It could have gone on like that forever. Their romance only grows because Mary Jane does: she consoles Peter after Gwen’s death and at that point she stops being a caricature.

Apart from her personality, MJ’s look changed too over the years. John Romita Sr.’s original design is elegant, buoyant. Mary Jane is the sole happy creature among the super-powered heroes, the freaks, the kingpins, the lizards, the cackling leprechauns on flying skateboards, and ol’ Aunt May. (How old is Aunt May supposed to be by the way? 120? She looks like the Crypt Keeper and she always seems just one jumpscare away from death. “A squirrel! Oohhhh… my heart… Peter…”) Later artists would give MJ big aerobics hair, a bare midriff and long muscled legs, like she came out of a computer in WEIRD SCIENCE; in the hands of yet later artists she became a pouting child-woman or a big-eyed cartoony trooper constantly ready to kick ass. She has become younger I noticed, from a woman she has changed into a girl. (All the characters grew younger. When you look at the early comics, the gang (Peter, Gwen, Mary Jane, Flash, Harry, etc) all seem like old youngsters—they are your grandparents as young people.)

In the newspaper strips especially, MJ’s career was all over the place. She could be a big movie star running away from adoring fans one day and a model struggling to find work the next. Sometimes she took on regular jobs, like selling computers. At one time she worked for Kraven the Hunter, with predictable consequences. But she was always bopping along, active—alive.

The newspaper strips might actually be my favorite Spider-Man stories now that I think about it. People complain that they are so slow, reading them is like experiencing time being killed, but I like slow. I’m slow myself. (I’ve never been fast with anything in my life.) The newspaper strips were different than the comics, more Life with the Parkers than splashy superhero action; but the loose, casual storytelling has the effect of a leisurely sightseeing stroll in the Marvel universe, and I guess that just appeals to me. (The newspaper strip shows what the characters are doing when they’re not having epic adventures.)

Anyway. Whatever she was doing, Mary Jane was always trying to become famous. That was her main drive. So, it’s good to know really that there’s at least one universe where she hit the jackpot: ours.

Art by John Romita Sr. mostly, and Ross Andru. First image by Alex Saviuk (taken from one of the handbooks I think but the original was in PARALLEL LIVES). (I should probably also mention inker Mike Esposito.) That great cover art to the 1985 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN annual is by Mary Wilshire and John Romita.

#mary jane watson #mary jane #spider-man #spider man #spiderman #comics #comic art #stan lee #john romita #ross andru #alex saviuk #vintage #marvel #mj #comic panels

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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i love your metas! I just discovered them today and have spent all afternoon reading them. I have two part ask, if that's okay. Firstly, do you think a sensible version of bella could survive if she recognised early on that keeping on Edward's good side was her only survival option? and secondly, on the flip side, just how unhinged do you think bella could be before edward rejected her?

Ooh, both interesting questions, anon. Let's do this.

Sane Bella and the Yandere Simulator

Last time, on The Carnivorous Muffin's ridiculous blog, we covered what would happen to a sensible Bella who realizes the Cullens are not fluffy bunnies she should take home.

The long and short, Edward eats her.

Edward's romantic interest in Bella, the thing that has him fighting his own baser nature to keep her alive, is dependent on a few things.

One of those is Bella's interest in turn.

In time, if Bella truly was not interested in him, he would eat her. Alice tells us there's only two paths for Bella: death or vampire. Leaving her and walking away is never a true option for Edward.

So, Sane Bella loses Yandere Simulator because she doesn't realize the key aspect of Yandere Simulator: You Never Say No to Yandere.

However, you point out something interesting here, that this is a sensible Bella.

Sensible people do not immediately think they're playing Yandere Simulator. You don't run across people like Edward often, there aren't many of him, and while there are red flags early in Twilight Edward did a pretty good job of making them not particularly visible.

By the time we hit Eclipse he's pretty much thrown pretending to be nice and sane out the window. Luckily for Bella, that doesn't appear to bother her as much as it should.

Bella thinking "if I don't play along with this inhuman whack job he'll eat me", is paranoid lunacy. It is not the first conclusion a reasonable person would jump to.

That it happens to be the right conclusion is irrelevant.

But alright, I'll play ball.

Paranoid Bella and the Yandere Simulator

Bella is utterly paranoid and wearing her tin foil hat when she enters Forks. She remembers Biology very well and when Edward comes back and pretends to be nice she gives him a strained smile and thinks, "This motherfucker will eat me the moment my back is turned."

Bella considers travelling back to Florida, but that would be leading Edward to her mother, more it would be very easy to find Bella if he truly wished to.

Florida isn't an option.

Bella tries to keep her distance from Edward, hard when he sits next to her in Biology, but he seems willing to ignore her. Bella calms down a little, maybe this will work out.

Bella is nearly crushed by a van, desperately pretends she definitely did not see Edward fold that van like a pretzel. Nope, no siree Bob, Bella is concussed! She then stays awake all night in terror and OH GOD HE'S CLIMBING THROUGH HER WINDOW! HE'S GOING TO EAT HER IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT! HE KNOWS THAT SHE KNOWS!

Bella pretends to sleep, horrified, and Edward stays there all night. Staring.

(Edward, meanwhile, is realizing he's in love.)

Bella enters school a nervous wreck, waiting for that fateful Biology class and... Edward is studiously ignoring her. He doesn't even say hello.

Bella would be relieved, except he keeps sneaking into her bedroom at night, staring. Bella gets no sleep for weeks.

Then the blood testing happens and suddenly Edward is talking to her. He tells her they shouldn't be friends and he doesn't want to be friends, GREAT, EDWARD, THAT'S GREAT. But then it's very clear that he's after something, and Bella's spidey senses are tingling.

Edward doesn't want to be friends.

Oh, oh shit.

Suddenly, Edward sneaking into her room at night takes on a whole, new, sinister twist. First he'll rape her, then he'll eat her (or who knows, maybe vice versa, Bella certainly doesn't want to find out).

Bella is driven home by Edward (he insists) and enters the house to wheeze into a paper bag.

She thinks over her options.

Edward can crush cars, Bella trips over asphalt. Even if she wasn't Bella, there's no way she could outfight him even if she wanted to.

Edward was very concerned when he suspected that she knew, he likely still suspects and Bella's not a very good liar. Bella doesn't want to find out what happens to her if Edward realizes she really does know.

Edward appears to have a romantic interest in her. Does Bella really have the option of saying no?

Bella, still wheezing in her bag, comes to what seems like an inevitable decision. She must humor Edward at all costs. For the sake of her family, of her own life, she must play into his romantic overtures. Bella can't act but now, her life depends on it.

Well, Bella still can't act, but luckily for her Edward doesn't care.

Edward just thinks Bella's very jumpy, a little nervous and shy, and just plain weird (given he thinks Bella's just plain weird in canon this is not too far from normal events).

So Bella gets to live in terror for things like the meadow, where Edward talks about how easy it would be to eat her, how he contemplated murdering Biology in cold blood to eat her in the most efficient manner, how he loathed her for daring to smell delicious, how Alice warned him there was a good chance of him eating Bella in the meadow today, all while pressing his cheek against her hammering heartbeat.

"AH HA HA HA HA, EDWARD, YOU'RE SO CHARMING."

Edward invites Bella to the house. These creepy, man eating, people all meet her with smiles. Edward has composed her a lullaby. One of them, Alice, tells Bella they're going to be best friends.

"AH HA HA HA HA, EDWARD YOUR FAMILY IS SO NICE."

In other words, somehow, all of Twilight still happens because Bella is terrified of saying no.

At least, until Volterra. Given Bella's being hunted by Victoria, even had Bella not gone cliff diving eventually Alice would see her eaten and then black out as the wolves chased off Victoria instead.

Bella spends New Moon having a great time. Mostly. The Cullens are finally gone, she's free, she spends weeks on edge thinking they might come back.

Just when she starts to relax, fucking Laurent shows up and learns Victoria's trying to kill her. Because of Edward, because of course, it's always about Edward. WHY ARE VAMPIRES ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL HER?!

Regardless, Alice shows up and goes, "Bella, my god, you're alive!" And Bella dies inside. Alice Cullen is back. Oh no.

Bella pretends she's thrilled to see her. Alice, her best friend, her favorite demon. Hurray. Alice fills Bella in on the New Moon scoop, Bella pretends to be very invested. Then Alice gets the vision.

Edward has decided to commit suicide via the Volturi.

Bella has no problem with this, unfortunately, she realizes that Alice clearly has a problem with this. Alice fully expects Bella to run off to Italy to save Fucking Edward.

Once again, Bella isn't sure she's allowed to say no.

Bella runs to Italy, finds herself saving Edward's life, and then she's brought before the Volturi where she might very well be executed because Edward Cullen happened to involve her in this mess.

BELLA NEVER WANTED TO BE HERE.

Bella snaps. She's crying, she just can't take it anymore, and she finally loses her shit at Edward. SHE NEVER LOVED HIM! HE IS SCARY AND WON'T LEAVE HER ALONE! IF THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HER JUST DO IT NOW BECAUSE SHE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

Aro watches Bella's mental breakdown in utter amazement. Naturally, while Marcus suspected something was funky with those two, Aro did not see this coming from Edward's perspective.

Aro offers Bella her out, it is unfortunately death or vampire, but vampire is very much an option and Aro will offer Bella sanctuary in the Volturi.

Bella takes that offer and runs with it.

Edward is devastated and blindsided.

Somehow, neither he nor Alice saw this one coming.

But to answer your question: Paranoid Bella survives Yandere Simulator By Defecting to the Volturi

How Unhinged Does Bella Have to Be For Edward to Dump Her?

He won't.

Remember, Edward in canon thinks there's something legitimately wrong with Bella. She doesn't think like normal people, she always makes the least rational choice, and he can't hear her thoughts.

Edward doesn't think Bella's gifted just that she's... different. (Bella, hilariously, immediately picks up that Edward's calling her a freak. Edward backtracks hard on that one.)

Bella's decisions also become increasingly ridiculous as the series goes on.

She stabs herself in the middle of a battle, she insists on having sex with him while human, she consorts with shapeshifters (to Edward this is lunacy), she picked up motorcycle riding, she threw herself off a cliff, she ran from his sweet protection to the reservation, she believes he doesn't love her, and she doesn't want to get married.

I imagine Edward thinks there isn't anywhere left for Bella to go. She's left the planet, unhinged is her middle name.

But none of that matters.

I already linked the Edward/Bella post I always link near the top so I'll just recap. For Edward, it's all about the blood, the silence, and the projection.

An unhinged Bella is still a delicious and silent Bella. He can still pretend she's Carlisle.

Even if Bella became addicted to cocaine, and ruined that sweet scent, it wouldn't tarnish her memory. He'd nurse her back to health, then eat her so she never relapses.

That's the trouble with Edward/Bella, it's not about Bella, not at all. You could replace her with sweet smelling cardboard and Edward would not notice a difference.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #bella swan #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #alice cullen #anti alice cullen #the volturi #aro #meta #headcanon #opinion

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deepdonutkid · 3 years

Text

Kismet

Requested: No

Paring: Shelby!Sister Reader x Isaiah

Words: 5624

Summary: For a year now, you had a secret relationship with Isaiah and even when he is still in the same room with you, you can’t stop feeling lonely. It’s not that you don’t love him anymore, it more about the weight of the secret you have to carry. But with Tommy as you big brother you can’t risk, telling the truth or your man might get shot.

Note:

I was in the mood for a Shelby!Sister reader x Isaiah and it turned out to be way longer than I expected it... and I even cut out dialog... So here it is!

It’s also flavored with Junior Peaky Boys fun at the beginning. And I was inspired by my homegirl’s one shot called star and my story is an addition to hers, it’s the same night, but Bonnie has some other adventures than the reader and Isaiah.

Somehow I feel like everybody is a little ooc, but I couldn’t correct it.

Requests and tag list are still open, feel free to dm me or send me an ask.

tagging: @bonniesgoldengirl @justalonelyslytherin @theshelbyclan

Warning: swear words, drinking, binge drinking, gambling, a hinted smut and a sweet ending

It was one of those nights, nothing special, just the usual fellows around the same table in the Garrison. You had fun nevertheless. All your friends were right there, you had enough to drink and you had a luck hand today. The cards seemed to work in your fortune.

Deviously smiling you revealed your hand. You just had won this round and it gave you unholy amounts of satisfactions. “Ha”, you cheered: “Suck it up.”

Your friend shrugged and shoved his coins in your direction. All he said was a very grumpy “There you go”, but it pleased you.

You took the money and peaked around the corner. Where was Michael with the drinks? He was like a brother to you, but he was just your cousin. Maybe it was because you were born just two months before his older sister, Anna. Even though, she was gone Michael came back to his real family and now you were closer than ever. You cared for him, more than your siblings did.

But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t hit him, if he just left the bar to fuck with some random girl. It was not about him having sex, more about leaving without telling anybody. Especially when he was supposed to get drinks for the table. You moaned and said: “Where is Michael?”

“Probably doing somebody”, Isaiah joked and lit a cigarette. Then he offered you one and you took it gladly. Actually, you bit your lip and gave him the side-eye, but you had to hide your smile in front of the others. Bonnie and Finny weren’t the smartest boys in Small Heath, but you wouldn’t risk it.

You had so much fun with Isaiah that you didn’t even know when it started. Months passed by, while you were completely caught up in your little game with him. Nobody knew it. That was mainly Isaiah’s fault. At first it amused you to keep your relationship with him secret, but now you were ready to tell your family about it. Your boyfriend didn’t like the idea.

Somehow you thought Michael started to notice. He gave you the glace, which said: “I know, dear”, but maybe you were just getting crazy. You just had to be more careful around others now and everything was fine.

The night was still young and you were keen to make Bonnie lose all his money today. He had won the boxing match earlier and the bruises were still visible, but unfortunately for him, he couldn’t win against you. It was just a card game, but it filled you with gleeful joy. This and the fact that Isaiah was sitting next to you. Sometimes he would brush your thigh with his fingers, which made you giggle even more.

“There he is”, yelled Finny while being so fucking drunk, like you never had seen him before. Michael arrived with messy hair and his tie was undone, but he had your drink and that was all that you care for. “Finally”, you fluted and ripped the glass of his hand: “Thank you, babe.”

And the whiskey was still cold, which meant he fucked the girl first and ordered the drinks afterwards. “How was she? Good?” you asked before you took a sip from your whiskey. You weren’t a lightweight when it came to drinking, maybe not as well as Arthur and John, but you could tolerate much more than Ada and Finny. Your little brother was so drunk, he looked like his head was all empty and yet filled with bullshit.

Michael sat down next to you and answered: “Mhh, she was okay, but she talked too much.” Then you felt the weight of a hand on your thigh again. A shiver rushed down your spine, but it was the wrong side. Your cousin had put his hand on your knee. “Everything alright, Y/N?”

You nodded. “Yeah, everything is perfect”, you blabbered hoping he wouldn’t keep asking questions, but he did. “Don’t be so worried, every time I’m with a girl. I know you’re still a virgin, but you can get some too. Tommy wouldn’t be against it.”

How wonderfully wrong he was. Neither were you a virgin nor would Tommy be okay with this. After all, you were his little sister and he wouldn’t accept the guy, you were sleeping with. Of course, Isaiah was a friend of the family, but after the whole thing with Ada and Freddie you had something to worry about.

The best snarky comeback was right on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t say it without letting something slip. ‘What gives you the idea I’m still a virgin?’ And yet you were silent as the guy who fucked you, sat right next to you. You felt trapped and decided to go straight forward. “Yes, he would. You know it and everybody in Small Heath knows it.”

“Oh whatever”, Michael mumbled: “Just drink enough and you eventually forget about it.”

You grinned and emptied your drink. “Fuck it, let’s play some cards. I’m not done with Mr. Gold over here.” Then you took the cards and dealt them to start the next round.

Much later that night when you brought Finn back home and went straight back to the pub, in front of the entrance, you stumbled into Bonnie. “Is there a reason why you’re smirking?” you asked him. He was gleaming red and smiling like an idiot.

Then you remembered. “The singer, right?” Bonnie nodded and his grin got even wider. “You talked to her?” Again he gave you a silent answer. You grabbed his arm and pulled him back inside. He was a lot heavier than you thought, but then again, you were just a girl and he was a boxer.

Sometime it was weird to only have male friends, it just happened. Maybe it was because of your brothers. Maybe that’s why you never acted like a proper girl. Of course you felt like a woman and you liked your body, but in your eyes it was so much easier to talk to guys.

“Eyy, where did you found him?” Michael slurred and helped you to put your friend on a chair again. With your hands finally free you had the chance to explain. “Found him outside. I don’t know what he did there, but he talked to the singer.”

Both, Isiah and Michael nodded. It was only logical for Bonnie to freak out after it talking to her. He was there every Friday night looking for the singer and now his brain seemed to melt, just because she said something to him. But neither of you knew, what she said exactly. Maybe this was a problem for another night. It didn’t look like Bonnie was able to answer.

So you ordered some more drinks and sat back down again. In this separate room, which was reserved for your family, it was almost too tempting to get close to your boyfriend again. Isiah looked so good that night and it hurt to be unable to touch him… or to kiss him. But you would be satisfied with just holding his hand now.

It was a curse; you knew it soon after you realized that you loved him. He was handsome, charming and a loyal friend. There was no better man for you, even though you wished you could be together in public. And again you bit your lip and moved your chair away from him.

But you couldn’t think about this anymore, it was too frustrating and luckily somebody else caught your attention. It was Bonnie who mumbled very quietly: “I think she kissed me, but it could be a dream as well. It felt so surreal.” You padded his shoulder and nodded to underline your compassion.

It was just the same with Isaiah. Whenever you two were alone, it was amazing and beautiful. He was so soft and romantic and he just made you happy. But every time you woke up and he was gone, the sweet scenery shattered. And out in public it was getting annoying to find excuses to be with him or getting away, so you could spend some time alone with him and you had to lie to your whole family about your whereabouts. Slowly it became exhausting.

There was nothing you could do about it, so you just drank your whiskey and talked with the boys about Bonnie’s singer and the girl Michael had. It was so easy for them to display their relationship in the public, but of course you didn’t have this privilege as a girl. Apparently, you needed to be protected. Or so it has been explained to you. You wasn’t concerned for your safety but for your freedom. Tommy said it was his job as your big brother to care for you, even if it felt like he was controlling you. You have always been the wild one among your siblings and everything was fine, until your mum died and your dad left. Then Tommy was in charge and sometimes his opinions would vary from yours, which led to fights. And yet you feared what he might do, if he found out about your secret.

All the sudden Bonnie fell from his chair and you groaned. Now somebody had to bring him home as well. First Finn and now him… but why they couldn’t take the whiskey today? You weren’t nearly as drunk as them, but still.

Isaiah stood up and picked his friend up. “I’m taking him home. I’ll be right back”, he said, before leaving.

Now Michael and you were alone. It wasn’t what you wanted. The only thing you could think of was smooching the sweet lips of your boyfriend. You were caught up in your little fantasy, when your cousin woke you up again. “Isaiah is acting weird lately.”

“Oh… really? I didn’t notice”, you replied: “He seemed normal to me.” Your hand grabbed the fringe of your dress. Talking about him made you nervous.

Michael moaned and fumbled for his cigarettes. He put them out, you took one and he turned his between his fingers, when he added: “I don’t know, maybe I’m getting paranoid, but I think he is hiding something from us.” Then he lit his cigarette and took a drag from it.

You inhaled sharply and stared into the void for a second, before answering: “Don’t be silly, he is just as loyal as ever.” Then you laughed and Michael joined in. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

The rest of the conversation went just like usual. You chatted, you bickered and you had fun. While the bell already announced the new day, Isaiah came back.

In this tiny glimpse of a moment you couldn’t hide your smile and he reciprocated. Actually, you were just waiting for Michael to leave now. It was your plan all along, but patience has never been your strong suit.

It took three more rounds for Michael to say goodnight. “Take care of her, will you?” Isaiah nodded. When Michael finally grabbed his jacket and headed to the door, you felt unbelievably excited. Your fingertips slapped a melody on the table, while you watched him leaving. The door shut and now you had what you longed for all night.

You turned around and looked at him. Gosh, waiting felt like an eternity. Now you were the one smiling like an idiot. Slowly Isaiah came closer and his hand pulled you to him for a kiss. “Finally”, you whispered against his lips, before giving him what he wanted.

After you two parted you rested your head on his shoulder. Now you were getting tired as well, but you didn’t want to go to your bed. “I was waiting the whole evening for this”, he moaned and stroked your hair.

The smell of his perfume made you realized how much you missed him too, even though he was with you since you went to Garrison tonight. You moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around him to give him a tight squeeze. Then you signed: “I wish we didn’t have to hide” and buried your face in his shirt.

“Babe”, he replied: “We already had this conversation. It wouldn’t end well. Let’s just enjoy what we have as long as we can.” It hurt, but Isaiah was right. There was no chance Tommy was getting you off the hook, once he knew about it. And no matter how you explained it to him, he would still be against it. You were too young for stuff like that, as if he didn’t fucked Greta, when he was the same age.

You leaned back to see his beautiful face again. There was something in his eyes, a twinkle or something like that, but it always made you feel comfortable. A lick of your lip was enough to purpose the idea of doing something nasty. He knew you since you were children and it was like he could read your thoughts, especially the dirty ones.

Isaiah started giggling and asked: “Hey, babe, I still can cheer you up, right?”

Maybe it was time for some fun, different to the fun you had before with your friends. The word pleasure would describe it well and with his knowing look he gave you so many ideas. You laughed and nodded. “I think it might help when you do the thing with your tongue.”

“Oh”, he responded amused: “Like this?” And then grabbed you for a kiss and god, what a kiss it was. His tongue brushed your upper lip just to enter your mouth and explore it as if it was your first kiss. He even bit your lip playfully and kept going until you couldn’t breathe no more. Your knees started shaking and it was needless to say, he was the best kisser you ever had.

It took you a while to catch a breath again, but then you answered: “Yeah, just like this… But maybe we could go to your place and do a little more?”

He didn’t seem to be so sure about this suggestion. His thumb stroked your shoulder as he held you in his arm. Because he was so quiet for a second, you knew, he thought about this backwards and forwards. “But right when the sun comes up, you have to go back home”, he argued.

Again, Isaiah was right. You should take too many risks. Otherwise you might get caught and neither of you wanted that. All you could do was to shrug and agree: “Just don’t shoo me after we fucked.” There was bitterness in your voice. What wouldn’t you give to wake up next to him every morning?

The pub was almost empty, when you left. You couldn’t hold his hand on the way out. Everybody in Small Heath was Tommy’s spy. Back on the streets a cold wind blew. Now you had an excuse to go near him and he shared his coat with you. Isaiah was always so sweet and caring. You knew you wanted to spend your future with him. There was no other man and you wouldn’t get over him, not now and not in five years.

You even took off your shoes before entering the Jesus household and followed him on your tiptoes to his room. It was completely dark in the house and the silence was haunting, but good for you, you knew the way by now. The excitement made your fingers tremble.

Finally you arrived where you wanted to be the whole day, in his room. Isaiah closed the door as quietly as possible and started smiling. You walked up to him and started to unbutton his shirt. Now you didn’t want to waste any time.

And neither did Isaiah. He was ripping down your dress, which only worked because the straps were so thin. His hands were all over your body and you couldn’t stop kissing every inch of his skin. It felt like magic whenever he touched you. You moaned, when he played with your bare breasts. To silence you he put his thumb on your lips, which you took as an invitation to suck it. Maybe it was mean to tease him like that, but you were desperate for his affection.

An hour later you laid next to him, your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. “You should leave, before we both fall asleep, babe”, he whispered, which caused you to sign. Leaving now was draining, even exhausting. After this wonderful sex, you were too tired to move anywhere, not to the bathroom and certainly not back to your cold bed.

You pouted your lips and tilted your head, so you could give him your puppy eyes and a pretty please with cream and a cherry on top. “Just ten more minutes. Your bed is way comfier than mine.”

He laughed and kissed your forehead. “That’s just because I’m in this bed and you like to use me as your personal giant pillow.” Your fingers hovered about his belly. Even though his muscles weren’t tense now, you could still feel the strength lying beneath his skin.

While your index finger drew circles around his bellybutton, you whined: “Maybe… just maybe that is true, but I still want to lay here for a bit. Otherwise I start to feel like a whore, who only comes for sex and leaves silently afterwards.” It wasn’t a knock against Lizzie or her job, but you didn’t like the feeling, when you got home and had to find sleep in your own bed. Even though you had a relationship with him, you still felt lonely. Especially when the sun was rising and nobody was by your side.

“You’re not a whore and you know that”, he argued looking a little concerned.

Then you turned on your back and stared at the ceiling. “No, I’m a Shelby and that is probably worse”, you scoffed.

Now Isaiah was silent and had no witty comeback for that. Maybe, because it was true. If you weren’t part of the family, you could be with anyone, whoever you wanted. Carrying the name Shelby was the only reason, why you had to hide your relationship with Isaiah.

After a while he mumbled: “Okay, stay for a while, but you should be back before they open the shop.” By that time you were already half asleep and yet his words made you smile. He wrapped his arms around you, the little spoon and purred like a cat. Just in this position the both of you fell asleep.

Loud steps were coming near the door, but they wouldn’t wake you up. The screaming of Isaiah’s name did. It was a familiar voice and it took you a couple of minutes to notice, it was your brother Finn who shouted and ran down the hall. Suddenly you were wide awake. You startled up and looked around the room. The sun was already up and shining through the window. Then you saw Isaiah, who was just as frightened as you were.

If Finn came rushing through that door, your secret relationship was no longer secret. “I locked the door last night”, he whispered, which was relieving to you, but still no perfect solution for this problem.

Now Finn arrived at the other side of the door and was knocking on it like crazy. “Isaiah, wake up! Y/N is gone. Nobody can find her and Michael said you were the last one with her in the bar”, your brother yelled. You could hear the panic in his voice, but you couldn’t get caught. Not now.

You stumbled out of the bed and collected your clothes, when you heard Isaiah ask: “What are you going to do? You can’t go out there. He will find out.” And you knew your boyfriend wasn’t concerned about Finn, more about Tommy.

The tension in the room was immense. You had to come up with a plan or your brothers would shoot your lover in front of your eyes.

Suddenly you knew what to do. You pushed the pile of clothing to your chest and squeeze it thigh, when you explained in a lower tone: “I’m gonna hide in the wardrobe and then you open the door and go with Finn away. Afterwards I can come out and then I go to the betting shop and tell the others I have fallen asleep on a bench or something.” It was not the best plan, but yet your only option.

Isaiah nodded and you climbed into the cabinet where he stored his shirt and jackets. The second you entered the small wooden space, you knew it was all going down. Call it intuition, call it divination, call it whatever power Polly owned, but you felt it rushing through your body. He closed the door behind you and then you could hear him stumble into his pants.

Only half clothed he unlocked the door to let Finn in. Isaiah was still sleepy. He wasn’t the morning type of person and before he hadn’t had his breakfast he wasn’t really available. Finn strode up and down. You heard is nervous steps. “Everybody is freaking out right now. Polly thinks somebody kidnapped her or worse. I mean, she has always been unratable in her doings, but this time my sister is really going of the edge. It’s already past lunch and nobody has seen her”, Finn explained: “This morning her bed was empty and I thought I shouldn’t worry, but now I’m afraid I should have said something sooner.”

The cabinet was very uncomfortable and yet you tried not to move or to make a noise, which would cause Finn’s attention. However, being in Isaiah’s position didn’t seem to be pleasant as well. He had to lie to his best friend about the whereabouts of his missing sister, knowing she was sitting right here. Isaiah patted his friends shoulder and said nothing.

Finn didn’t calm down and seemed to be upset, Isaiah wasn’t panicking like him. “C’mon, get dressed. We have to look for her. She might be lying somewhere in the dirt. We shouldn’t waste even more time, standing around.” Then he walked to the closet and opened just the door where you had been hiding.

Butt-naked you fell down to the floor and looked up to your younger brother, who had the same face expression as the one time you told him where the babies were coming from. Some when later you would look back at this moment and would have a good laugh about this, but right now it felt like your world was collapsing.

He should have seen you like this and it took you a whole minute to gather the mental energy to get back up at your feet and greet him like it was the normal thing to do in a situation like this. “Hey, Finny, there I am.”

Your brother froze mid movement and stared at you as if you were the first pink elephant the world has seen or a bear riding a bike. Then he broke the silence. “What?”, he winced. There was no anger in his voice, just total confusion.

Finn looked to Isaiah and then back to you. “You screwed my sister?!”

There was no answer to this question.

“How long?” Finn asked: “How long did you hide that from me?”

You glared over to you boyfriend as if you were asking him for permission to say something. Isaiah signed and nodded. There was no point in denying this anymore. It was over.

Now you had to tell the truth. “A couple of months, maybe a year or so”, you croaked and your voice sounded strange. Like it was not your own and even though you dreamt about finally opening up, it shouldn’t have been like this.

Your brother yelled: “A year?! A whole fucking year? Damn, I should be proud because apparently you two are excellent liars with no moral issues… you two deserve each other.” You heard the disgust and disappointment, when he spoke and it broke your heart. Back then, when the whole thing started you though he might be the only one of your brothers to understand you. How wonderfully wrong you were.

“No”, you said under your breath: “Don’t fucking do this to me. I would have told you, if you wouldn’t have run straight to Tommy after you knew. Everybody knows you can’t keep a secret. So don’t act like it was my fault or my mistake, because it’s not. I would have gladly told everybody, I’m like him very much, but you and Tommy and Arthur and John made it impossible for me to even talk with a guy who is not part of the gang. You can’t turn this around and act like you are the victim in all this.”

It was time for you to stand up for yourself and your decisions… and time for you to get dressed. You didn’t seem as responsible as you were when you were still naked and in front of the closed you have been hiding in. Now you knew how wrong it was to lie and hide your relationship, because it wasn’t their concern. It was your life, your body and your choice. Nobody could take that from you and certainly not your brothers. You weren’t afraid of them. All your life you saw how your brothers treated women and you said nothing about it, but this should change right now.

So you stood there, furious and filled with rage, put on your dress and your shoes and said one last thing, before leaving: “This madness has to end.”

You stormed out of the room- not caring for Isaiah or Finn- and heading for the King of Small Heath to throw him out of his high throne. Your hair was a nest and you smelled like a bar after a dirty old night, when you entered the betting shop. Nobody was there, just the regular family members.

Everybody seemed to be relieved to see you again and then came close to hug you. Ada was right next to the door and the first to greet you. “Oh my god, you’re back, sweetie”, she muttered.

Next was Polly who examined your appearance for cuts and other injuries. Of course you had none, besides the hickeys Isaiah gave you. She tried to take a closer look of your neck, but you pulled away, which caused her to ask: “What happened? Where were you all night?”

Now Tommy was coming up to you. His steps were slow, but fierce and the glare in his eyes was pinching. “Just from the smell I would guess, she was with a guy this night”, he scoffed: “She probably had a lot of fun, but now she should say, who that guy was, so we can take actions.” You knew he was addressing you, even though he didn’t phrase it like that.

“I don’t think, this is your business”, you replied with a grin on your face. You wouldn’t back down. Not this time. “But yes, I was with a guy tonight. So you don’t need to worry. I’m completely fine.”

Your older brother led out a little laugh, pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Well, well, well, I don’t care what you think. I’m your brother and it’s my job to make sure you’re safe”, he explained: “And now you tell me who he was.” Ah, past tense, a hint of what was going to happen.

You crossed your arms and tiled your head to give him a dismissive look. “Who said it was your job?” was your comeback, but your brother wasn’t remotely impressed. Neither of you would let the other win. You were too stubborn for this gesture of insight.

Others, including Arthur and John, were somehow intimidated by Tommy’s behavior, but not you. Actually, you learned too much from him to take his shit. He taught you to help your head up high and how to outsmart your enemies. Now you could use the same strategies against him.

“Ever since our father left and mom died, you act like you are in charge, but you’re not. We are your siblings, not your pawn, waiting for your command”, you hissed: “I have my own life and I make my own decisions and who I meet shouldn’t concern you.” Slowly your anger grew. It was a boiling feeling in your gut, like you were fueled with fire.

Tommy was getting gleaming red. You had hit the right spot and you knew you would hurt him with your words, but otherwise he wouldn’t understand. The words were stuck in his throat as he killed you with his looks.

Patiently, you waited for his answer. He wouldn’t give you the satisfaction, but silencing your brother was the best thing ever, since he was the reason why you felt miserable lately. “No comeback? No arguments, dear?” You loved to poke his wounds and you did it with a huge smile on your face.

“As if you would listen to me… You even said it yourself. You wouldn’t take my advice”, he responded and bid his lip. “But I don’t need to talk to you to teach you a lesson. You’re too young to fuck around town and I’m going to find the bastard who did this and kill him.”

The door was opened behind you and soon Finn entered the room. You gave your little brother the death glare you were known for. He shouldn’t get the idea he was allowed to talk about what he found out.

You should be raging right now, but all you could do was laugh. His empty threats weren’t as daunting as he thought. With nothing but spite you whistled: “I would love to see you try. I kept this a secret for over a year now and you noticed nothing. And now I can wait another year for you to find him… or I could run away… whatever you prefer.”

Now you’re pushing your luck. Finn could ruin everything, if he just said one wrong word. The palms of your hands were sweaty. It was a dangerous game you played there, but it was not like you could back out of it now. This was road of no return.

Tommy seemed to be more surprised than fuming, when he asked: “You slept with some geezers for a year now?” He respected your talent to keep it under the radar. Everybody who could shirk his rules deserved acknowledgement for putting up with this risk. Maybe he was finally realizing how much you had grown. You weren’t his little kitten anymore.

“No, not geezers, just one guy”, you corrected him: “But yes, that is true.”

You watched Tommy as he walked around the table, heading for the whiskey, while he nodded understandingly. “Mh, so you would say it’s love?”

A sign came from your lips. You already knew the answer, but you weren’t so sure, if you should say this out loud. After all, you didn’t even have a proper talk about this with Isaiah. Silence was filling the room, while you calculated your risks. If you said, you loved him and Isaiah wasn’t as serious about the relationship, you would look like an idiot. Good for you, he didn’t come to the betting shop to witness the fight between you and your brother. Finally you decided to tell everybody: “Yes, I do.”

“Good”, Tommy mumbled while he poured his whiskey: “Then you should have my blessing. Just give us the name now.” He took a sip and seemed to be amused by your embarrassment.

Talking about Isaiah, while he wasn’t present, was weird, but you knew why he stayed in the comfort of his own room. You weren’t mad at him for not running after you. This was your fight and not his. And after all your brothers were a little scary, when it comes to stuff like this.

But you had Tommy’s word now and nothing should happen to your man. You shrugged and rolled with your eyes. The fuss they made about this was still annoying.

Ada patted your shoulder and encouraged you to speak. “Do we know him?” The answer was yes, but it was also the reason, why you struggled to say it out loud.

Even John chimed in and kept pushing: “Yeah, what’s up with this fella?” He was smiling to let you know the mood had changed. Nobody was against you anymore.

“It’s…”, you started and fumbled for the seam of your dress: “It’s Isaiah.”

At first it was dead silence, while the others processed the information, then Arthur and John burst out in laughter. Finn seemed to be relieved, because he would have hated it to keep a secret like this. Your older sister was hugging you a little too tight and even Polly was smiling.

Tommy had a smug on his face when he muttered: “If that’s the case, then you should have your happiness.”

“Isaiah is a fine fella. You will be alright”, hummed Arthur. Apparently everybody was happy with your choice. You just had to stand up for yourself.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders and then you could laugh about it too. But suddenly you remember that Isaiah was still waiting for his death in his room. “I should go and let him of the hook”, you fluted and already went to the door when you heard Tommy said: “Don’t get pregnant or he has to marry you.”

#peaky blinders #peaky fucking blinders #peaky #peaky blinder fanfic #isiah jesus #isaiah jesus #daryl mccormack #peaky fookin blinders #tommy shelby #shelby sister #isiah x reader #isiah x you #fanfic #peaky blinders x sister!reader #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x you #peaky blinders x y/n

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lily-janus · 2 years

Text

Us Against The World

Summary: for their entire life, it's always been just the two of them. Virgil and Janus, them and the rest. Until someday something threatens to tear them away from each other.

Pairing: platonic Anxceit

Warnings: panic attacks and hyperventaling, lying, crude language, friends fight, mistrust, self depreciating thoughts and self-talk, Virgil over thinking and jumping to conclusions, bullying, getting lost.

Writing propmts: "Hold on tight, listen to my voice" and forest.

Word count: 3181

"Hey! Why don't you ever talk, loser? Do you not know how to speak?" The teenager asked Virgil, taunting.

Virgil opened his mouth to snap at him, but fear refused to loosen its grip on his throat, making it hard to breathe, let alone speak.

The teenager huffed and pushed Virgil with his shoulder as he passed him, muttering "weirdo" under his breath.

Virgil sighed, hands digging deep into the pockets of his overly large, soft hoodie, his only source of comfort when out in public.

"Oh I'm sure he's quite capable of speaking." A voice suddenly made Virgil look up and turn around in the direction the teenager went merely seconds ago. Another teenager smirked at the one who taunted Virgil, his eyes were forest green, his left cheek covered in some kind of weird birthmark.

The green-eyed teenager examined his fingernails casually as he continued. "I just think he would rather not, especially with the sorry excuse of a human being such as yourself." He looked up to meet the bully's eyes, smirk widening, challenging.

"You're the one to talk, freak," he responded, clenching his fists in barely controlled anger.

Virgil flinched in sympathy at the word, but he didn't look bothered by it, instead just shrugging it off. "I think we both know who's the real freak here… don't you?"

That finally made the other boy snap, sending one of his tightly clenched fists towards his face. And still, the green-eyed boy's smirk refused to leave his lips as he smoothly dodged, causing the boy to fall on the dirty floor by his own momentum and Virgil couldn't help but laugh.

The boy, cheeks flushed in embarrassment, got up and walked away without giving each of them a single glance back, hands still tightly fisted on his sides.

As their eyes met, the boy's smirk turned into a gentle smile and he shrugged lightly, bringing a finger to point at his left cheek. "You get used to it eventually."

"Tha-thank you um… my name's Virgil." He said hesitantly, hands fidgeting nervously inside his hoodie.

"Janus" he reaches out his hand for Virgil to shake, and he does, smiling shyly up at him.

They quickly became friends after that, constantly hanging out, texting. No one in their little town in the middle of the woods seemed to like them, but that was okay, as long as they had each other. Us and them, Virgil and Janus against the world, that's how it's always been.

Until… it wasn't.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hey Jan, wanna hang out today?

Hang out… with you? And why would I want that?

Pffft Jan, I'm serious, my parents are being boring again.

Oh dear. You know me, I would happily take you away from these two… but I'm afraid I'm busy at the moment… oh how cruel life is, giving me work when you clearly can't handle yourself without me.

Oh get over yourself, I'll be fine… If I don't die of boredom that is…

Virgil turns off his phone with a sigh, reluctantly turning his attention back to his parents, who hadn't stopped their mindless chuttering, his mom complaining about her co-workers and his dad listening and offering his points when he can.

He places his elbow on the table and rests his cheek in the palm of his hand, the very image of deep boredom, waiting for a chance to slip into his room.

He mindlessly turns on his phone, checking for any new notifications, and turning it off when he finds none and repeating, until he can finally run back to his room, closing the door behind him and relishing in the silence that covered him.

He decides to continue some of his crafts projects that he's been putting off for a while, the busyness of his hands helping him relax and letting his thoughts wander effortlessly.

Suddenly, he stumbles upon a realization that… he has actually barely seen Janus lately… should he be concerned? Well… he's always worried but still… is Janus okay? Could he be mad at Virgil? Are they in a fight and he hasn't realized it?

Taking a deep breath, Virgil puts down his current project. His mind is jumping to conclusions again… he should talk to Janus before he starts hyperventilating on every worst-case-scenario. Maybe he'll drop by his workplace, not like he has anything more important going on right now.

So Virgil quickly gets ready to head out and, after making sure he has everything about a dozen times, he opens the door and walks outside, breathing in the cool night air. He tries his best to keep his speculations and worries for the encounter in check, he's sure it's nothing, it's Janus! The only person he can truly trust in this world, there's no way he's been avoiding him or something, right? ….right?

Wrong.

Virgil stops dead in his tracks as he sees Janus inside the bar he works at through the glass wall… He's… Janus is laughing… with people Virgil never even seen before! People their age… other friends… better friends, cause of course, Virgil alone will never be enough, not to someone like Janus… he should have realized it sooner, it's his fault for thinking… hoping… it'll be just the two of them forever…

For once… his cruel, spiraling mind was right, Janus has been avoiding him, he does want to end their friendship, of course he does… now that he finally found someone better-

Janus sees him standing outside and freezes, the people around him continuing their conversation without noticing as the two childhood friends lock eyes.

Virgil swallowed, emotions swirling in his stomach, contradicting themselves and pulling on him in all directions. He should run, no, yell at Janus, no, cry, no, he should hit himself for living in such delusions and setting himself for heartbreak.

It's his fault- no, Janus' fault, Janus is a bad friend, no, Virgil is simply not good enough, no-

Janus starts walking towards him, expression unreadable and, suddenly, Virgil is sure of one, simple thing: he can not face Janus right now.

Virgil starts running just as Janus is close enough so he can hear him call after him.

"Wait! Virge! I can explain!"

Vision blurred by tears, Virgil doesn't slow his pace even as he begins to sweat and pant in his overly warm hoodie, he doesn't dare to stop to catch his breath, he needs to get away from everything, need to be as far away as possible.

Too overworked and vision getting blurrier as the tears refuse to stop falling, Virgil doesn't notice his feet are not hitting the pavement anymore but rather are crunching fallen leaves underneath them instead. He also fails to notice his surroundings getting darker as he strays away from the bright city lights.

His lungs exploding, Virgil has no choice but to finally stop, hands on his knees as he pants and sobs and cries.

Stupid, stupid stupid! You're so stupid, you should have known better, you should have never let someone in like that, you've had you fair share of bad friends, it's your fault for giving another person a chance to hurt you.

It's true, once again, his mind is right, it's his own stupid fault! Idiot…

Virgil leans on a nearby tree-

Wait, tree?

Heart skipping a beat, Virgil slowly looks around, his self deprecating thoughts dying down for now to be replaced by sheer panic.

Virgil is in the forest surrounding their city… and he has no clue how to get back.

Heart thumping in his chest, he tries hard to remember which way he came from, but it's all a blur, he didn't pay the slightest bit of attention as to where he was going.

Yep, Virgil is indeed stupid, that pretty much confirms it if he had any doubts until now… which he didn't really had but still, nice to know for certain.

It's so dark, Virgil can't see anything… How far away is he? How is he going to get back?

His parents must be getting worried by now…

Wait! His phone!

Virgil quickly reaches for his back pocket, wanting to smack himself in the head for not thinking of this earlier, before realizing it's not there.

Frantically, he searches his other pockets, nothing… must have fallen on the way… great, as if this day can't get any better… What's next? A pack of wolves-

The sound of howling is audible from a distance and Virgil freezes even though he's pretty sure it's way too far to be anywhere near him.

He's going to die here, he suddenly realizes.

Having no clue what else to do, and too afraid to move from his current spot, Virgil sits on the slightly damp ground, leaning on a tree and hugging his knees close to his chest, resting his chin on them.

He stays like this for what feels like hours, surrounded by darkness, literally and mentally. He's all alone, and it's all his fault, he brought this on himself-

Crunching leaves a few feet away from him.

Virgil freezes and waits in tense silence.

"Virgil?"

Janus' voice… probably the last voice he wanted to hear right now, the mere sound of it making his insides twist painfully.

But wait…

"Virgil? Are… are you here?"

He sounds… worried? But… that can't be right…

"I know you're here, please I- I'm sorry… I should have told you but I feared you'll freak out… and well you did but… I was trying to find the right time and- oh who am I kidding? He's not here… great work Janus, pushing your best friend away like that…"

Janus continued to ramble but his voice faded to the background of Virgil's mind as he processed his words. Best friend? Did he just call Virgil 'his best friend'?

A sob escaped his throat and Janus' steps stopped in place.

"Virgil?" He asked again, voice full of hope. "Is that you?"

And that was it, Virgil broke down once again, tears spilling from his eyes and sobs wrecking his throat. He was an emotional wreck, having no clue how to feel or even… how he should feel, it was just too much and-

A figure dropping in front of him and wrapping its arms around him.

"Virgil! Thank god I was so worried." Janus says, voice cracking as he continues to hold him.

Virgil sniffed and looked away. "Why?" He asked, voice surprsingly steady and full of spite he hadn't realized he had until now.

Janus retrievs his hands quickly and looks down in shame. "What do you mean 'why'? I… you're my friend, Virgil."

Virgil huffs at that. "Seems like you have a plenty of those, why worry about me?"

"Virgil-"

"No, stop, I don't want to hear any more lies from you, just leave me alone… it's what you wanted anyway." Virgil tucks his knees closer to his chest, wanting to crawl into a tiny ball and disappear.

"I was going to tell you I just didn't know how-"

"I said to leave me alone! At least do this one thing for me." Virgil snaps.

"Is that… really what you want?" Janus asks, voice small.

"Yes!"

With a sigh, Janus gets to his feet. "Very well, here." He hands him his phone. "You dropped this on the way… I called your parents and sent them this location so… you should be fine… sorry again… you… you desrve better than me anyway so, maybe this is for the best…" he trails off, voice cracking again as a sob escaped his throat.

He started to walk away but, as Virgil suddenly realized he was going to be left alone in this dark forest again, panic began to creep into his chest again and he started panting loudly, gasping for air.

At the sound of Virgil's clear distress, Janus dropped down beside him again, this time only putting one arm on his shoulder which Virgil seized and squeezed without thinking.

"Shhh it's okay Virgil, it's okay just… hold on tight… listen to my voice. Take deep breaths, good job Virgil, you're doing great just keep breathing."

Virgil closed his eyes and tried his best to do as Janus instracted, all the while aqueezing his hand like a lifeline. Until, finally, he could breathe normally again and his mind cleared.

He let go of his hand immediately and scooted away from him a little. "Stop doing that." He whispered.

"Doing what, Virgil?"

"Pertending like you care I… I know better than that now but it still hurts when you do it so… just stop." Virgil fixed his gaze on the ground, refusing to meet Janus' gaze.

"Virgil… I do care, I always cared. Some meaningless friends from work will never change that." Janus said desperatly.

Virgil sniffed. "Liar."

"I'm not lying! It's true! Please Virgil I… I can't lose you but… if I'm going to… if you want to end this… at least know I never stopped caring." They both fall silent for a long moment.

"In all those times you said you were busy… were you just hanging out with them? Laughing at how stupid and naive I am to fall for that?" Virgil asked quietly. "Do you… do you perfer them over me?" Another sob escaped his throat.

"No! No it wasn't like that! They mean nothing to me! Really I just… for the first time in my life I… I felt accepted. I don't know… it's stupid and sappy and I shouldn't care about others' approval but… god did it feel good not to be judged by how I look. And I know I should have told you right away but, I feared you'll feel like I replaced you, no matter how I would have phrased it so… I kept putting it off…" Janus trailed off with a sigh. "I really messed up, I know I did… I'm really sorry that I hurt you… that was never my intention. I'll understand if you won't forgive me though… I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

Virgil shook his head. "No, no! Stop it! Stop lying! I… I want this so badly to be true but I know it can't be true and please, just stop."

"Virgil, it is true! You have to believe me."

"Well I don't, I don't think I can believe you anymore…" Virgil said quietly, still refusing to meet his gaze.

They fell silent again.

"Okay." Janus sniffed. "Okay, that's okay, I deserve that. I'll leave and we'll never have to see each other again… if that's what you want. Just, please look at me, just this once and I'll leave you alone." Janus promised, pleading.

Sighing, Virgil finally looked up to meet his gaze and resisted the immidate urge to hug his former friend as he saw so much hurt in his eyes.

It's not real, it's not real, it's not real

Virgil looked away quickly. "There, now leave me alone." He hated how much his voice shook, how every viber of his being protesed to pushing Janus away. But he ignored it, he won't be hurt again, he won't.

He hears Janus shuffling as he gets up once again without a word.

"You were wrong." Virgil said as Janus turned to leave, stopping him dead in his tracks.

"What?"

"The day we met, you said you get used to it… you were wrong… it hurts more everytime."

"Virgil-"

"I don't want to hear it, Janus. Go away." Virgil tried to hold back the tears that threatened to come out again, refusing to give Janus the satisfaction.

"Goodbye, Virgil… I… I'm going to miss you, I'm going to miss my best friend, I'm truly sorry." Slowly, Janus walks away, making Virgil's heart ache with every step he takes away from him.

But it's for the best. He keeps telling himself, it's the only way to make sure he's not hurt again… it's for the best it's-

And he breaks down again.

His parents find him like this not long after, huddled on the floor and crying his heart out. They both hug him and murmur reassurence as they help him to his feet.

Before he realizes it, he's back in his room, every inch of it a painful reminder to the relationship he ended tonight. Falling down on his bed, he falls asleep crying.

A few days later, Virgil's parents finally convince him to get out of his room to 'breathe some fresh air'. He walks down the streets, music blaring in his ears from his large headphones.

He kinda wandered aimlessly but somehow he ended up right in front of Jan- he gulped at the name, his bar.

Though, thankfully, he wasn't there…. Only his friends.

With a sigh, thinking he could use a drink anyway, he walks inside.

One of… his friends noticed him as he sat down on one of the stools, walking up to him curiously.

"Holy shit, are you Virgil?" His face split into a wide grin.

Virgil frowned, what did he tell them? "Um… yes? Why?"

"Holy fuck! Janus never shuts up about you! He hasn't shown up to work for the last few days but he always said how he can't wait for us to meet you!"

Virgil choked up. "He… he did?"

"Yeah! Oh, I'm Remus by the way, so cool to finally meet you, fuck!" Remus practically jumped on his feet. But Virgil barely paid him any attention as he got up from the stool and turned to leave. "Oh, you're leaving? But you just got here" Remus whined.

"Sorry I… I think I made a huge mistake, I'll be back!"

Before he could think about it, Virgil started running, and running. Not away this time, but closer and closer until, finally, he's standing right in front his door. Panting slightly as he knocks.

There's some shuffling from the inside and soon Janus opens the door, his eyes going wide as he realizes who it is.

"V-Virgil? What? Why?" He trailed off and just stared at him.

Virgil took a deep breath. "Janus I… I'm sorry. I was wrong, I should have trusted you I just… I saw you with them and it felt like all my fears are coming true and I wasn't thinking and it felt like a stab to my very being and-"

Virgil cut off as Janus gently wrapped him in a warm embrace. "It's okay Virgil, I meant what I said, I understand… I'm really sorry I didn't tell you I was just being a coward and I should have just sucked it up and told you everything…" Janus trailed off and the both hugged each other in warm silence.

As they broke they realized they were both crying. They exchanged glances and started laughing, relieved and emotionally warned.

"Best friends?" Virgil asked with a smile.

Janus smirked. "With you? Please, I think I can do better."

Virgil snorted. "Yeah right, good luck with that."

Janus laughed as he beckoned Virgil inside and they spent the rest of the day together.

29 notes · View notes

wicked-mind · 3 years

Text

From The Ashes

Summary: The last time you saw Bucky and Steve was in the 1940’s. Now that you’re somehow in the present with them confused on how, the truth is going to come out eventually.

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: Swearing, death and revival.

All Writings Masterlist

*gifs not mine

“What are we doing?” Bucky asked towards Steve as they stood in the elevator waiting to get to the floor to the briefing room. They had been called up by Sam in an urgent matter.

Steve looks at Bucky, his arms folded across his chest, “Not sure. Sam just said it was urgent.” He said, his face like stone but behind those blue eyes sat a hint of worry about what the situation could entail. Once the elevators door opened, Steve lead the way to the briefing room and looked at Sam, “What’s going o-“ His words cut off when he realized Sam wasn’t alone in the room and behind him in the chair sat a woman he had seen before but not since the 1940’s.

Bucky was right behind him but he saw the woman before Steve and froze behind him. Those eyes… He would know them anywhere. They’ve snuck into his dreams many times before and it always made a deep ache in his heart. Only Steve knew about what you meant to him. You were his doll. His sweetheart. His best and only girl. He had tried to figure out what became of you when he escaped the grasp of Hydra but all he could figure out is that you seemed to pass away in a house fire. He scanned you over, his lips parted in disbelief, “Y/N?” He finally breathed out.

You smiled softly over towards the two, “Hello, Stevie.” You said before your eyes flickered to stare into Bucky’s, “Hi, Bucky.” The last time you had seen them was 1943 before Bucky was shipped off to England and Steve managed to somehow get accepted into the military. You knew how you ended up here decades later, but that was a secret only known to you. But you decided today was a good day to make your presence to them known since Bucky seemed to be doing better from what you saw on the news.

Steve was the first to move, walking towards you and sitting beside you in his own chair, “How are you here?” He asks softly, scanning over every part of your face to make sure it was really you.

When you were about to speak, Bucky interrupted walking over towards you but keeping a little distance between you, “How do we know it’s really you?” He asks, still on guard. It wasn’t everyday someone who had been thought dead just appears in the future. There’s only been a few people that happened to and he was one of them along with Steve.

You smiled over at Bucky, “Need proof, darlin?” You ask and watch his eyes soften at the pet name you used to call him, his posture relaxing a little from being on guard. They knew your secret. You held your hand out in front of you, palm up and a small flame suddenly appeared in your hand before you closed your palm, extinguishing it. Steve and Bucky were the only ones that knew of your enhanced abilities- Pyrokinesis. You could control and create fire with your mind. It was kept a secret because in the forties people saw those who were enhanced humans as some sort of sorcerer or a witch but once Bucky and Steve had caught you fiddling a flame on your fingers as you read, you came clean. You thought it would deter them from being friends with you, ruin your relationship with Bucky thinking he didn’t want to be with a freak. But that wasn’t the case. They both still accepted you.

As soon as the flame extinguished in your palm, Bucky immediately closed the distance and pulled you up from your seat into a tight hug. You swear you could hear him breathing jagged as if he was going to cry but not tears fell from his eyes, “How are you here?” He breathed out into your shoulder before releasing you, keeping his gloved hands on your shoulders as if to keep touching you to make sure you were real and this wasn’t some sort of sick dream.

You smiled softly at him, “I don’t know…” You said softly, a lie, before looking over to Steve, “The only thing I remember is that I just was here seven years ago. Then all the things happened with Thanos and the blip as I was learning how to live in this new time. I saw you two recently on the news, they talked about you two and Sam bringing down some super soldiers so I decided I should come say hello.”

Steve immediately offered you to live here at the facility with them, saying you could join their team if you wanted when you got up to leave. You accepted graciously, happy to be able to spend time with the two of them and catch up on everything you missed. You trained with them while also strengthening your ability. You had been keeping it on the down-low since you returned years ago and you needed to get your ability back into full force. But that wasn’t the only thing you had being strengthening. Your bond with Bucky was still as strong as ever and even though he had changed a lot from the man you knew, he was still the man you loved and with the way he looked at you, you knew he still loved you too though you hadn’t made any moves towards each other yet. Sometimes he would get close, wrapping his arms around you and staring into your eyes like he was going to kiss you, but he always just hugged you tightly and sighed in relief when you wrapped your arms around him.

You had begun to go on missions with them after two months of training, coming especially handy whenever enemies tried to use any type of explosive that you could easily contain and control with your power to manipulate fire. You even got a fancy high-tech suite that was fire resistant. You sat on the quinjet next to Bucky, listening at Steve went over the mission. He was going over everybody’s positions for the third time. You shifted in your seat a little which caught Bucky’s attention. His eyes scanned over you, “You alright?”

You looked up to Bucky and nodded with a slight smile, “Yeah, I’m okay.” You replied softly and returned your gaze to the floor as your brow pulled together. You had this weird feeling sit in your stomach, almost burning.

Bucky kept his gaze on you, watching you carefully. He knew everything about you including the way you looked when you were uncomfortable, “What is it?” He asks quietly as to not interrupt Steve going through the plan. He wanted more than anything to reach over and grab your hand… But he had been struggling with you being back. When he left you in 1943, he was a completely different person and was worried you wouldn’t like who he was now. He didn’t like who he was now, so how could you?

You kept your eyes on the floor, “I just have a bad feeling.” You responded quietly before tilting your head over to look at him to see him watching you with a concerned look spread across his features, “It’ll be fine though. I’m sure it’s just the jitters.” You sat up straighter and put a confident smile on your face.

Bucky nodded at you, “It’ll be fine. I’ll make sure it all goes according to plan. I got you.” He said and the corner of his lips curled upwards in a half smile as he placed a hand on your thigh to comfort you.

You smiled at his touch and nodded, “Thank you.” Then your gaze returned to Steve as he explained the rest of the mission. The organization known as A.I.M. consisted of terrorist arms dealers and scientists who specialized in advanced technological weaponry. Their main goal is to overthrow the world governments for their own gains and they had recently been creating chaos which is why the team was sent to deal with them at one of their bases and also steal some information on their weaponry.

You gripped onto your seat as the quinjet landed, swallowing hard. The feeling in your stomach hadn’t faded, if anything it had grown as if telling you this wasn’t going to end well. You stood from your seat and cracked your neck then followed by your knuckles. You were going to be the first one in with Bucky right behind you while Steve and Sam made sure nobody came for reinforcements. You walked down the quinjet ramp and saw the bunker a little less than half a mile away, starting to walk towards it slowly.

Noticing your hesitancy, Bucky followed you quickly until he walked beside you carrying his usual assault rifle. He stayed close, trying to just comfort you with his presence. Once you two got to the doors of the bunker, he looked down at you, “We are only here for the information. We just get it and get out.” He reminded.

You nodded before seeing redwing zoom beside them to scan the fake access code they received into the lock panel. You flicked her wrists and your hands immediately started to glow with flames circling around them. As soon as the door opened, you reached your hands out and flames erupted from your palms forward to take out the A.I.M. agents that were guarding the gate. With Bucky on your heels, the two of you started running down the corridor, taking care of anybody in your path. Once you got to the weapon room, your hands immediately extinguished from the fire and you started to look around for the information you needed while Bucky stood guard, “It’s not here…” You muttered out, rechecking every table and filing cabinet.

Bucky’s brow furrowed and he moved from the doorway to look with you. They were looking for a certain folder as well as a certain new weapon A.I.M. had created, “That’s impossible. Our inside guy said they’d be here.” He said, his eyes scanning every inch of the room. His head snapped towards the door as he heard footsteps, pulling you behind a pillar with him for cover.

You peeked around the pillar to see A.I.M agents flooding in, guns pointed directly at the pillar as if they already knew where you two were. Your hands ignited again and you started to chuck fireballs at the enemy agents, landing most of them, “Looks like our inside guy might’ve not been so much our guy. This was a set up.” You said softly. Bucky was focused on each target, firing spurts from his gun that hit every target but the A.I.M. agents kept flooding in, slowly cornering the both of you. You heard Bucky’s gun click as he ran out of rounds, “I hate that sound.” You told him before flinging another fireball at an approaching agent.

Bucky looked over at you for a split second, “Yeah, me too.” He grunted out before pulling out one of his knives. and quickly stabbed an enemy agent in the throat as they came around the pillar, “Any ideas on how to get out of this?”

You kept flinging fireballs at the agents as they approached. The two of you moved behind another pillar in the furthest corner of the room from the door, “Only one.” You say, peeking out and throwing more fireballs, “You aren’t going to like it though.”

Bucky looked at you for a moment before focusing on the door. He didn’t really have a choice right now and whatever plan you had was better than the one he had. He was armed with only a knife while the A.I.M. agents were armed with all types of high-tech weapons and there were more flooding into the room at every second, “What’s your plan?” He asks.

You look up at him biting your lip softly, “Stay here. Stay down. Trust me.” You tell him before starting to slowly walk out from behind the pillar, throwing fireballs at the closest ones. You heard Bucky yell your name and for you to get back to cover. You cracked your neck and closed your eyes for a moment and when you opened them, your irises were gold but moving like they were melted gold. Your body erupted into flames before you outstretched your hands and with a scream, all the fire on your body quickly grew and moved to all the agents, crisping them up instantly and falling to the floor. You walked to the door and did the same, taking the ones out in the hallway as they fired at you.

Bucky watched with wide eyes but had moved to kneel on the floor as the fire swirled above his head, watching from around the pillar as you went to the hallway. Once you were out of view and it seemed like the fire had suddenly disappeared, he cautiously moved across the room, “Y/N?” He asks before peaking out the door. His eyes widened, seeing you laying on the floor with red stains starting to soak through your suit slowly in different areas across your chest, “Y/N!” He yelled, kneeling down by you. He quickly observed your wounds, six bullets straight to the chest and stomach. He pressed two fingers to your neck and found a weak pulse, “Dammit!” He growled out before opening coms on his ear piece, “Sam, Steve. Mission failed. I’m coming out, Y/N is down. Get the medical supplies on the quinjet ready.” He quickly scooped you up into his arms and started carrying you out. It seemed clear, you had taken care of most of the enemies before they managed to shoot you. He walked out of the doors, carrying you passed Steve and Sam who were looking at you horrified. He got into the quinjet and laid you down on the floor, “Steve, give me the medical kit.” He growled out.

Sam went to start the quinjet, knowing they needed to get back to the facility as soon as possible to the medical team where the cradle would be waiting. Steve grabbed the medical kit they had and opened it, helping immediately to try and pack the bullet holes and put pressure on the wounds.

“C’mon, doll. C’mon!” Bucky said, keeping pressure on the wounds and replacing the gauze as the blood absorbed into them rapidly, “You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. I got you. You’re going to be okay.” He kept repeating in a panic.

You heard his voice and opened your eyes lazily to look up at Bucky, tears welting up into your eyes, “Bucky.. There’s things you don’t know… Don’t leave me… Stay with me…” You whisper out weakly, blood leaking out the corners of your mouth.

Bucky looked at you as you spoke, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. Just stay awake, stay with me.” He said with a small, pained smile that quickly changed to a frown when you coughed a little before your body stopped moving completely and you were staring up at the ceiling blankly. Steve slowly pulled his hands away from your body, realizing you were gone. Bucky looked at Steve, “What are you doing?! You have to keep pressure!” He growled out.

Steve looked at Bucky, “She’s gone, Buck.” He said softly, watching Bucky fumble around for more gauze and keeping pressure on your body. Once Bucky tried to start CPR on you, Steve grabbed him and pulled him back away from your body, “Buck! She’s gone!”

Bucky struggled in Steve’s grasp, his tear filled eyes staring at you on the floor wide-eyed, “No, Steve!” He yelled, “She can’t be gone! I just got her back!” He said, pushing Steve away and dropping next to your body and pulling you against his chest. He pressed his face into your shoulder, not caring about the blood that was covering him, “No, sweetheart… I’m sorry… No..” He whispered against your shoulder, “I should’ve known you had a stupid plan… Should’ve listened to you when you had a bad feeling..” His voice cracked, “I’m so sorry… I wasted time with you again… I need you, baby… Please don’t go.. I love you…” This hurt worse than when he left you in 1943. At least then he knew you were safe at home and he was the one that didn’t know if he’d make it back. He felt guilty. In 1943 he had confessed his feelings for you and by some god damn miracle you had come back to him and due to him feeling so broken, so unworthy of your love because of what Hydra did to him, he didn’t make any moves with you to let you know he still loved you.

The ride back to the facility was silent, Bucky leaning back against the seats with your body still in his arms. Once they got back to the facility, a medical team was waiting for them at the landing zone. Sam walked down the ramp first, letting the medical team know that they weren’t needed. Steve walked out beside Bucky who was carrying your body in his arms, an emotionless look on his face. He carried your body into the medical bay and laid you on the metal table, looking down at you, “I really screwed up, Steve. Again.” He said softly, his voice breaking.

Steve had followed Bucky in, standing beside him. This loss hit him deep as well. You were one of his best friends, always stitching him and Bucky back up after they’d get into fights. He had a crush on you for the longest time but knew from the way you looked at Bucky that there was no chance and he had forgotten you when he met Peggy, “I’m sorry, Buck.” Steve said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Bucky shook his head, “I should’ve told her how I felt the first time I saw her back here.” He said softly, his eyes staring at your now pale face, “I felt like I didn’t deserve her… Like who I am today didn’t deserve her and I kept her at a distance.” Tears had started to flow slowly again down his cheeks, “I love her. It’s always been her.”

Steve nodded, a saddened expression still on his face, “I know, Buck. I know.” He said and squeezed Bucky’s shoulder, “I’ll give you some time.” He gave you one last glance before heading out of the room to leave Bucky alone with your body.

Bucky pulled up one of the stools and sat beside you, lifting his flesh hand to gently stroke your hair which was slightly matted from the blood, “Y/N, I’m sorry.” He whispers out, his nose and eyes stinging from crying, “I should’ve known when you said you had a bad feeling. You’re never wrong, sweetheart.” His lips twitched into a slight smile before returning to a frown, “Why did you have to go and do that, huh? Go and get yourself killed- I’m so mad at you, doll. I’m mad at myself too… I shouldn’t have wasted time with you just hugging you. I should’ve been loving you. Showing you how much I missed you. How much I love you…” He scooted his stool over to grab a water basin and a towel, “I’m not leaving you though… I’ll get you cleaned up. You’d be so angry if I left you looking like this.” He went over to the sink and filled the water basin up with warm water before returning to your side, slowly wiping off the splotches of blood the best he could from your suite, skin, and face. When he was finished, he went back to the sink to clean up the mess he made and wash his hands. The orange glow on the wall in front of him caught his attention and he turned, seeing that your body had erupted into large orange flames, “What…” Bucky breathed out, watching the flames grow to engulf the whole table to the ceiling. He held his hand up, blocking the brightness from his eyes before the fire started to die down. His eyes widened in shock when he saw you sitting up on the medical table, breathing deeply as the flames sucked back in through your skin and you were left sitting on what looked like a pile of ash. Bucky practically tripped over his own feet sprinting over to you, taking your face in his palms and scanning over your face, “Y/N? Doll?”

You opened your eyes slowly and looked at him, “So we’re back to pet-names now?” You ask and managed a small smile. Luckily your suite was fireproof so it had managed to stay in tact through the flames.

“How?” Bucky asked simply, keeping his eyes on yours. He was shocked, he had watched you die and carried your lifeless body back here before you just erupted into flames and now… here you were. Just sitting there like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t been injured at all. Like you hadn’t died in his arms.

You sighed softly and reached your hands up to rest on his that were still on your face, “There’s some things you and Steve don’t know, Buck.” You told him softly, “I’m not just a pyrokenetic… I’m a phoenix. We don’t die very easily, we just revive.”

Bucky’s brow pulled together at the news, blinking at her in disbelief, “Why didn’t you tell Steve and I this?” They had always known about your ability to manipulate and create fire, so why couldn’t you have trusted them with this?

“I couldn’t. Phoenix are rare. A lot of people believe we are a myth but there are those who hunt us relentlessly” You told him, taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’ve been around since about the 1860’s, that’s why I never had any family. There’s only a few things that can kill us for certain and bullets aren’t one of them.”

Bucky continued to stare at you, speechless at your words. At least he didn’t feel like the old one anymore. He stepped back from you and tilted his head a little, “Steve is not going to believe this.” He said.

You jumped off from sitting on the table and walked closer to Bucky, “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you… Are we okay? You seem mad.”

Bucky looked down at you, “I thought you were dead, Y/N. I thought I had fucked up again and lost you before I could…” He paused, watching your expression closely, “Before I could tell you that I still love you.”

You stared back at him, “Oh…” You managed to squeak out, “And… I’m assuming this kind of changes that?” You asked quietly. You had always been worried about how another person would feel about dating an immortal being. Who would want to be with someone forever trapped in the body of a young woman while they grew old? You look down, fidgeting with your fingers.

Bucky watched your expression change to a defeated look which broke his heart. He took a step towards you and grabbed onto your face with his large hands again, pulling your lips to his. His lips twitching into a small smile when he felt you kiss him back softly. He pulled away and looked down at you, “Are you kidding me? Now Sam can stop calling me the old one.” He said softly down to you, “I love you. Doesn’t matter if you’re a phoenix, a zombie, a human… Hell, you could even be the damn devil and I would still love you.”

You smiled up at him, lifting your palms to place on the sides of his neck gently, “I halfway hope you wouldn’t love me if I was a zombie… But I love you too.” You replied and gave him another kiss to the lips before pulling away, “Speaking of zombies, how about we go prank Sam and Steve? I could pretend to be back from the dead and want to eat their brains.”

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head at her, “Yeah, alright. C’mon, sweetheart. They’re probably in a shitty mood anyway and could use a lift me up.” He said before taking your hand and pulling you out of the medical bay to go prank the two.

_____________________________________________________________ Permanent Taglist: @buckypops @stcrryslibrary @bibliophilewednesday

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes

231 notes · View notes

showrunnerihardlyknowher · 3 years

Note

26 for the prompts? perhaps w the cat n mouse lads :3 (also look danny i did it i sent a prompt are u proud)

I...actually don't remember what the prompt was for this one, but I'm 87% sure it was "I'm not that scary, am I?"

So fine since y'all keep asking for 'em, here's more of the cat and mouse bois. Shoutout to @gabbydafurry and an anon for finally giving them names.

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“I said no.”

“I’ll make pollo asado for dinner, we can eat it together while we watch!”

Aaron sighed and rubbed his hands against his forehead, trying to ease the dull throb that had yet to wane over the past two days. His headache certainly wasn’t being helped by the constant badgering of his...roommate, for a lack of better words (as well as being a title so eagerly self bestowed by the cat in question) but much like many of their other interactions, his resolve was starting to wear thin. Usually, he was able to hold his ground for at least a week until he was bribed into giving the other some type of social interaction with the promise of his favorite foods. Today, however, the poor mouse just wanted a moment’s peace free from knocking on the walls or calling through the cracks until he answered, and if that meant watching some stupid movie then fine.

Plus, Lucas did know how to make some incredible Mexican food.

“...fine,” Aaron conceded after a pause, the pressure behind his eyes giving him a sharp pang before fading to its usual ache, almost like his own body was projecting how horrible of an idea this was.

As soon as the mouse slipped out from behind the curio, he came face to face with the massive grin of the cat mere inches away from the opening. Seeing the grin only split wider when he was fully in view of the other normally would have instinctively sent a shiver up his spine, it was kind of difficult to be intimidated seeing how Lucas had strangely contorted his body to lay on the floor between the curio and the bookcase. Most cats seemed to be fairly flexible, so it probably wasn’t too uncomfortable for him to be so bent and curled up, but he definitely lost some of that hunter’s prowess with his back twisted sideways and one leg leaning against the shelving.

In a flash, Lucas had managed to untangle his strange positioning to instead be crouched on his knees, now looming over Aaron in a way he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to. He flinched back when his hand started to reach out towards him, fully intending to scoop him up to dizzying heights without a second thought, but the appendage stopped just short of touching him at all. Instead, he dropped his hand palm side up and waited, smiling all the while. At least he was getting better at remembering Aaron’s explicit request to not be grabbed without permission, though he did always apologize with a sheepish look and some little treat whenever he forgot.

Once Aaron climbed onto the awaiting hand that radiated a delightfully intense warmth into his already aching muscles, Lucas was already jumping up a chattering a mile a minute about how much the mouse was going to love the movie he picked out, how dinner would be ready soon, how he wasn’t expecting him to actually agree to watch a scary movie with him since he never seemed like the type who would be into that sort of thing but--

“It’s a scary movie?” Aaron interrupted, the noise finally registering beyond the headache. Truthfully, he tuned a lot of what the other said out for almost every conversation, not that it ever seemed to make a difference. Yeah, sorry, I’m a bit of a chatterbox, he admitted once, but it’s less weird talking to someone who doesn’t respond than to talk to yourself, right?

Debatable.

Lucas tilted his head and snorted. “Uh, yeah? That was one of the first things I told you about. You know that one actress who’s in almost every one of those Christmas movies we watch, who’s always the jealous best friend?” Aaron has no idea who he was referring to given that he never absorbed anything from those stupid romance movies he was boarderline forced to watch, but nodded anyways, “Right, this is supposed to be her big break out role, or something. It’s the first thing she’s doing as a lead actress, and you know, good for her! I’m glad she’s getting out of that typecast she’s been in forever. Horror probably wouldn’t be my first choice for her, but I guess since she has those singing vocals it could carry over to being a scream queen. Kind of like when--”

And Aaron was out of the conversation again.

Lucas continued to drone on about the actress’s entire film career, or at least that’s what the mouse was assuming he was doing when he occasionally zoned back in to pick up a stray word here and there. The headache he had been staving off to the best of his ability was starting to come back with twice as much force as it often did in the later days. He probably could have just asked the other for some aspirin, maybe even some cold medicine as that was no doubt what this bout of illness was turning into, but asking the cat for anything was always out of the question. Of course, Lucas tried to sway him numerous times into thinking it most certainly was not and that he could always ask for whatever he needed, never to his avail. Aaron was indeed willing to prolong his suffering if it meant not having to stomach the dreadful embarrassment that would come to being indebted to the feline, no matter how insignificant.

Unfortunately, he was only setting himself up for failure in thinking this “agreement” would be providing him any sort of relief. His headache was treading dangerously close into becoming a full fledged migraine and the flashes of light and screams from the television would not be doing him any favors. His only saving grace was that, after he had been settled on the couch and Lucas scampered off to get the dinner he promised, the cat turned off every other light possible to, as he put it, really get them in the spooky mood!

The smell of the food was delicious and nauseating. His stomach both wanted and revolted at the idea of anything filling it, which would only serve to worsen his headache no doubt. Damn it all, he wanted to throttle both himself and this illness, the first for agreeing to watch this stupid movie when he was already feeling under the weather, the second for preventing him from getting his half of the deal. These movie-dinner dates deals were the only reason Aaron continued to stick around, even if he thought the torment of being forced to watch awful romcoms in exchange for a hot, homemade meal was a little unfair. No, that wasn’t entirely true, Lucas was a freaking culinary genius as far as the mouse was aware. It was a wonder why he wasn’t majoring in a cooking field.

“I’m not hungry right now,” Aaron lied when Lucas had asked why he wasn’t eating. “I’ll try some later.”

The cat looked at him strangely before shrugging. “Alright, just let me know. If you don’t like it, I can always make you something else.” There he goes again, offering things he knows the other can’t accept. At least he could let it slide this time as he had no appetite to think of any other dish.

Lucas finished his own meal in silence, completely fixed on the television as the opening scene carried on, introducing the canine main character that Aaron did, in fact, vaguely recognize. This was fine, he figured, the dark apartment coupled with a painfully slow movie, a warm body moving to curl up behind him as it so often did during these deals, he could probably get a few moments of real rest in before the credits rolled. As much as he loathed to admit it, the cat was actually rather...comfortable to be forcefully cuddled by. He wasn’t like other movie goers that needed to make a comment on every character’s decision, steady breathing and the occasional purr helping the mouse slowly relax.

That relaxation was cut short as soon as the romcom actress tore her tiny avian neighbor to shreds by the end of the first act.

Aaron had hardly been paying attention to the storyline up until this point, something to do with the girl being bitten and experiencing insatiable hunger lately. The sudden carnage of the otherwise trusting little prey creature made both of them flinch in surprise, though Lucas was quick to laugh it off. From then on the mouse’s unwavering attention was glued to the screen, but not by his choice. A chill ran through him each time she claimed another unsuspecting victim, always a prey animal, and ripped them apart with her teeth and nails like a starving animal. The way the tiny’s incredibly realistic viscera was slurped into her bloody mouth made him queasy, all too easily imagining himself in their shoes.

Eventually, her hunger became too strong and she began attacking fellow predator species as well. Ripping into throats and soft bellies was far messier than snacking on a tiny creature in three bites, making her feast all the more gory. While the violence still unsettled him, it was a touch more bearable now that he couldn’t picture his own body being mangled between the teeth of a predator he thought he could trust. Speaking of…

The mouse gulped and risked a glance behind him at the other who had hardly moved, save for a few jolts and snickers whenever a particularly good jump scare managed to startle him. It didn’t go unnoticed that every time Aaron had physically reacted to a sudden screech or attack, the cat would curl just a little bit tighter around him, hiding a laugh behind a rumbling purr. He wanted to believe this was meant to be an act of comfort and not something equally as nefarious as the canine plotting her next kill. Regardless, Lucas was equally transfixed on the movie, except he seemed to be enjoying every minute of the horror aspect. His tail would flick in interest during the high tension scenes, even more so when a chase sequence was underway. It made sense, considering that was his favorite game to make Aaron play.

Whatever the case may be, the mouse couldn’t help but be unnerved tenfold that the other had the audacity to enjoy a fictional movie he was interested in seeing. The last thing the mouse wanted was for Lucas to get any more ideas when it came to chasing him around the apartment, much less awaken any sort of primitive instinct to maim his prize after it had been captured. To this day, it remains a deep seated fear in the back of his mind that every time the cat cupped his hands over him, his teeth would be quick to follow. Natural instincts were hard to shake for a reason when it came to prey animals such as himself, he could only hope the same wasn’t true for predators.

His imagination was running rampant, enough so that he completely missed how the movie ended. Something about a cure, something about being put down, whatever. The only thing on his mind was the morbidly hilarious thought that if Lucas were to go feral like the canine, would he eat him raw or would he cook him up in another fantastic dish?

Aaron jumped when Lucas moved to sit up behind him, only now registering the credits scrolling across the screen. He stretched a bit, the quickly fading warmth that had been surrounding the mouse making him realize just how tight the other must have been snuggled around him. How did he not notice?

“Wow,” Lucas said, pursing his lips. “That...was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.”

That wasn’t the reaction Aaron had been expecting him to have, but it was certainly better than to hear him go on about how it was a brilliant masterpiece. He got up to flick the lights back on, still laughing as he recounted each poorly written scene and cheesy effects. “I mean, oh my god, right? The mail man saved everyone? Seriously? I actually feel bad for making you watch that, you totally have dibs on the next movie night.”

He turned around to look at the mouse who was still huddled tight on the couch, wide eyes glued to the screen even if it was just names moving along with ominous background music. Lucas gave him another quizzical look, smirking.

“C’mon, even you have to admit those tinies had zero survival instincts. Like, who goes up to a rabid dog and asks for directions? I get suspending my disbelief and all, but they could have made it just a pinch realistic. This is so going to tank her acting career…” The cat shook his head and moved closer to the couch so that he stood right in front of the television, finally drawing the other’s attention to himself. “Hey, you hungry now?”

Oh, absolutely fucking not. An hour and a half of being tensed up gave no relief to his aching muscles and now that the lights were back on, so was his pounding headache. His stomach rolled, the nausea a mix of dizziness and disgust from the special effects. He didn’t even want to think about food, he didn’t want to be out in the open anymore, and he most certainly did not want to spend another minute in the cat’s company right now.

“S-sure…” Aaron finally squeaked out. He just needed Lucas out of the room, distracted somewhere so he could make a break for it. In some instances, he would have just darted off whether the cat saw him or not, but that always resulted in a game of chase that had a 50/50 success rate, the other loving it anyways. All he wanted was some peace and quiet to rest up and heal and not think about how easy it would be for the other to bite off his head whenever he felt like it.

Lucas stood there for a minute, studying him, and just when Aaron genuinely feared he was going to pounce, he flashed an innocent smile. “Cool, just give me a couple minutes to get it heated up.” And with that, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Aaron decided to be bold and waste a few precious seconds of his head start to collect himself. Deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous. Lucas had been nothing but kind to him. Aloof, but still kind all the same. But as a prey animal that spent the better part of his life living in walls and stealing to survive, trust was a risk he simply couldn’t take. There was hardly any benefit to keeping up this con if the end goal was simply to eat him. For all he knew, though, Lucas was nothing more than a merciless sociopath that was willing to milk every ounce of fear he could before chowing down. A sociopath obsessed with romantic comedies and wore an apron when he cooked and had begged Aaron for two months straight to tell him when his birthday was so that he could make him a miniature cake.

...okay, so maybe Lucas wasn’t a sociopath, but that didn’t mean he was trustworthy. Evolution gave him sharpened fangs and agile reflexes for a reason and the mouse was not about to find out what it was like to be on the receiving end of those one day.

With his head as clear as it was going to be for the time being, sans the dull throb behind his eyes, the mouse finally pushed himself up to make his way over to the couch arm. Slowly, as to not overwork his stiff joints, he climbed his way down to the floor and skittered under the couch for a little extra protection. Strangely, he noticed that he didn’t hear any noises coming from the kitchen just up ahead and when he stopped by the doorway, he couldn’t see anyone either. Losing track of the massive cat should not be possible, especially considering this was a one bedroom apartment and there was literally nowhere else for the feline to go without coming back through the entryway. Aaron should have taken it as a blessing, but of course he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

He proceeded to be daring and come out from under the couch completely to peek into the kitchen, confirming it was empty. Again, that shouldn’t even be possible for Lucas to slip out without having to directly pass the living room to go somewhere else. Unless he had, which would mean Aaron missed him somehow. He had been in quite a deep thought process on the couch...but he could have sworn he was only collecting himself for a minute!

The answer became glaringly obvious when the mouse took a few hesitant steps back and turned to retreat under the safety of the couch, only to come face to face with Lucas. He damn near jumped out of his skin, slamming his back against the wall in an effort to gain another inch of distance between himself and the face taking up his entire view. Really, this was nothing too out of the ordinary for the cat, he loved to sneak up and pounce whenever the opportunity presented itself and Aaron wasn’t too obviously close to heart failure. What made his heart stutter, however, was the fact that Lucas didn’t look like...well, Lucas. There was no smile, no warm eyes, no words being talked a mile a minute about nothing.

No, there was just a frowning cat with his ears pinned back and pupils slit, stalking closer with a terrifying rumble in his throat.

Instinct overtook him as soon as he saw the other’s lip twitch, trying to dart under the couch for safety and having his path immediately blocked by a hand being slammed down, claw out. Aaron couldn’t even yelp, the bile in his throat threatening to turn into vomit if he idled around too long. So, he didn’t. Instead, he turned on his heel and scampered in the opposite direction with the cat hot on his trail. He very nearly dodged a swipe, Lucas hissing that his blow didn’t land while Aaron only tried to speed up his sprinting. They circled maybe half of the living room, the mouse weaving under furniture while the cat knocked into them in an effort to jarr his prey into taking a misstep.

It worked, unfortunately, when Aaron took a sharp turn at the bookshelf and caused Lucas to clip it with his shoulder. The small bump did nothing to deter the cat on his hunt, but the two books that came tumbling down were enough to make the smaller skid and trip to avoid being squashed under the novels. He ended up twisting his ankle awkwardly, stumbling flat on his face while the momentum of his running made him roll twice until he landed on his back. Despite being winded and the additional pain in his leg, he knew there was no time to waste, trying to pull himself. It was too late, though. The cat was already on top of him, hand coming down to pin him under his palm while only his head poked free from between his fingers.

That cold, terrifying face came nearer, eyes tunnel visioned on its prize. Oh God, Aaron would give anything to have the other Lucas back right now. He’d watch a thousand sappy movies, do a date night for every meal, actually move into his bedroom like the cat had suggested he do a dozen times. He wanted...fuck, he wanted his friend back. What he thought was his friend, anyways. Not this killer, not this predator who was baring his teeth and was now mere inches away from biting off his face and--

The growling above him broke off into a snort shortly before turning into a full blown laugh. Aaron wasn’t sure when he had closed his eyes in preparation for his certain death, but when he dared to open them and blinked away the budding tears, he saw that smile he had been wishing for again. Kind and warm, just like eyes, and it was like Lucas had never even taken the form of a starving hunter in his life. Like he hadn’t been moments away from devouring his beloved roommate.

“Oh, come on,” he howled with laughter, “You can’t be serious! That movie actually scared you? I mean, I thought you looked a little freaked out by it, but wow!”

The movie...so this...this wasn’t real. Lucas was just pretending, just playing a prank on him. He thought that the movie had simply wound him up and made him jumpier than usual, no different than watching a zombie flick and popping out from behind a bush at your friend later on.

Except it was different. It was different in the fact that zombies aren't real, but predators are. Predators didn’t need an excuse to go feral and maim and consume their tiny cohabitants, they simply could by the laws of nature. And yes, it may be illegal and have several laws in place to protect prey species, but if no body was ever left behind, who could say if foul play was involved? That was the whole plot point in the otherwise dull movie they sat through together, the reason why the woman was able to avoid suspicion of her sickness by feeding on tinies that could only be reported missing at most.

Lucas’s laughter had tapered off, still clearly enjoying himself. “Alright, note to self, no more horror movies.” Finally, he released Aaron from under his hand to sit back on his haunches. “Man, I really didn’t think you would scare that easily, especially from a B-movie like that. Anyways, are you actually ready to eat now? I put your stuff in the oven so it would reheat better, but it should be done by now….Ronnie?”

Aaron hadn’t moved an inch since he was originally pinned, not even after the hand had been lifted off of him. He just stared up blankly at the cat, trembling and wide eyed, unable to do anything as the rapid succession of events sunk in. The cat’s humor died down a little, smile hesitating.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist, you know?” He shrugged a little sheepishly. “You didn’t even notice when I came back so I thought...I don’t know, it was funnier in my head. I almost broke character and started laughing before you ran!” With still no verbal response, Lucas reached out a hand. “Aaron? You good? Come on, I’m not that scary, am I?”

The reaction he got probably wasn’t what he was hoping for with Aaron suddenly scrambling to push himself away from the outstretched hand that might trap and tear apart his limbs. He gave a sharp squeak, managing to find his footing only to come crashing down as soon as he took the first step, his ankle noticeably swollen by this point. His cry of pain was muffled into a desperate grunt, trying so hard to drag himself away as a last ditch effort to avoid the same fate as the bird and the squirrel and the mole in the movie.

Lucas gasped. “Oh, Ronnie, your leg!” Both hands were reaching for the mouse now, aiming to cup around him and scoop him up before they surely put him out of his misery. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t...oh my God, I hurt you.”

Yes and no. In truth, Aaron had been the one to hurt himself by making his body move in ways it physically shouldn’t. But that didn’t change the fact that Lucas had shown his true colors. Perhaps in hindsight, that wasn’t a fair assessment, as he really did think he was playing a harmless little joke on a skittish friend. The pain came from knowing that the cat could turn feral, though, no matter how genuine he was being. There was still clearly an instinct within him, one that knew how to hunt and bare his teeth and hiss, one that knew deep down where they both ranked on the food chain. It hurt in knowing everything he thought about his friend, everything that kept him from really letting down his walls like the other so desperately wanted, was right. Cats and mice were not friends.

“Get away from me!” Aaron shrieked when the hands came too close. Though they withdrew quickly, he didn’t bother to watch if they would move again as he forced himself up to stumble back to his nook behind the bookshelf.

“Aaron, wait!” It was a fruitless request and Lucas knew it as he didn’t even try to stop the mouse from disappearing behind the furniture back into the walls. It would only make matters so much worse. “Aaron, please, you’re hurt, just...at least let me help you. Please. I...I’m so sorry! It was an accident, I promise!”

The cat shuffled closer, leaning down in hopes that the other could at least hear his pleas better, could hear how sincere he was trying to be. “I would never hurt you, Aaron. You’re one of my best friends. Look, it was a stupid prank and I’m an asshole and I’ll never do it again, just please come out. Just let me know if you’re alright?”

It didn’t matter how hard or for how long he tried, Aaron was long gone within the walls.

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hermannsthumb · 3 years

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possible prompt for a university au: newt is the biology major who maintains all the fish tanks in the physics building at 11pm and hermann is the physics student who likes to wander the halls to think. newt accidentally flings water all over the ground and hermann trips, hijinks ensue.

earlier today I was thinking about how I wrote a college AU fic almost 3 years ago to the date, and how I wanted to do more bc its fun thinking about newt and hermann as dumb college students

----

Newt's not really sure how he ended up with the weirdest work-study job on the planet, but honestly, things could be much, much worse (he could be stuck down in the dining hall, or dealing with confused freshmen in the school bookstore) so he keeps his thoughts on the whole thing to himself. Every Friday at eleven sharp, Newt pulls on his grodiest t-shirt and a pair of long rubber gloves and treks all the way over to the physics department to set to work scrubbing down the fish tanks that line the classroom walls. Why does the physics department have fish tanks? Newt's not really sure about that, either. It's kind of an insane amount of them, too, more than even the marine bio department has. Maybe it's supposed to boost morale or something. Hey, look at these crazy cool tropical fish who get to do nothing but eat and swim in circles, sorry you're stuck inside calculating velocity and shit.

Whatever, Newt's not complaining about that either. Let the physics nerds have their fun. It'll be good for them to branch out a little, realize there's life beyond robotics club meetings.

Also, Newt likes the fish. They're cute. He likes to think they like him, too, because they're very well behaved when he has to scoop them out of their tanks and plop them into smaller fish bowls (the kind goldfish in movies always use). He's going to teach them tricks eventually—he had a beta fish once who would do a little flip when Newt tapped the glass a certain way because he knew he'd get rewarded with dried worms, so Newt knows it's possible. Just imagine, a hundred fish doing flips on command. Newt Geiszler, fish whisperer.

Yeah, maybe the job could be more glamorous. It's really hard to get algae out of the gloves, and he hasn't been allotted the budget for a new pair yet.

"Hey, guys!" he shouts as he pushes in the door to room 214. The fish don't acknowledge him: they just continue swimming in their giant tank. In and out of plastic plants and rock caves. The rock caves were a gift from Newt three months into the job, and so were some of the moss balls—stimulation is important for fish! He wouldn't want to be trapped in a glass box with nothing to do, either. "I bet you missed me. Ready for a clean tank?"

Newt always talks to the fish, even if they don't talk back, because he thinks it's important to build their trust. He'll usually keep a running commentary of his week as he scrubs the tanks, just get everything off his chest that he needs to get off. Stuff he's worried about. Stuff that went well. Stuff that went badly. Therapy's expensive, and Newt's student health insurance can only cover so much, but talking to fish? That's free.

That's also kinda why he does it so late at night and over the weekend. The last thing he wants is an audience. Because, one, talking to fish is admittedly weird, and two, no one wants a glimpse at Newt's psyche like that, probably not even the fish.

The first step in cleaning the tanks is relocation. Newt digs his stereotypical goldfish bowls and an industrial-size mesh wand out of the supply closet, fills the former with some of the special tank salt water, and begins the slow and arduous task of scooping out the fish and depositing them into the bowls. "I had the lamest week," he announces once he's about three clownfish in. "I was working on a group project Saturday—"

Then Newt stops, because he hears footsteps in the hallway just outside the classroom.

Serial killer, Newt's instincts supply helpfully.

No, Newt corrects himself, that's dumb. Why would a serial killer wander into the physics building at eleven o'clock at night? Why would anyone, period? He's probably imagining stuff. Lack of sleep, stress over his upcoming projects, residual embarrassment from his disaster study session Saturday, all of it culminating in Newt thinking there's someone there. No, definitely imagining it. Newt can only even get in this late to the department because his ID swipe card is set up with the right permissions—not even the physics students have the permissions he does to be in this late at night. Well, not unless they clean the kitchenette in the student lounge or something.

Or if Newt left the door unlocked.

More footsteps. Closer now.

Newt's pretty sure he didn't leave the door unlocked, because he thinks it locks automatically behind him, and he would have to literally prop it open for anyone to get in after him. But anything's possible. The door could've caught on a dropped pencil or a paper scrap or other weird shit that physics students leave around, and a serial killer could've noticed and taken the opportunity to sneak inside on the off chance a hapless young biology major was scrubbing slime off fish tanks in the middle of the night. Any minute now, Newt's about to end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. The Physics Department Murder. The Disappearing Biologist. (Nah, neither of those are very good titles, but that's why Newt isn't on the creative writing track.)

Step-tap-step. Closer now; Newt's heart leaps to his throat. Step-tap-step. Step-tap-step. Pausing just outside the door of room 214. God, why didn't Newt turn the lights off? Why didn't he shut the door?

Newt reaches for the first vaguely weapon-shaped thing he can find—an empty fishbowl, because Newt's not going to sacrifice any of the fish for this—and, as the door swings open, hurls it with a cry.

The bowl clunks on the ground. Except it turns out Newt grabbed the wrong fish bowl, because (even though it doesn't shatter, thank God) water quickly begins to seep across the slate floor tiles towards Newt's serial killer, a pathetic little clownfish (Newt thinks this one is named Albert, because the physics department is made up of nerds who do shit like name their random pet fish after their kind) flopping around in the puddle. Newt's serial killer, meanwhile, cries out similarly, his arms windmilling as he loses his footing and slips backwards, his cane—

Oh, fuck.

The intruder is not a serial killer. It's someone possibly worse, actually: Newt's mortal enemy, Hermann Gottlieb.

Newt's not really sure at what point Hermann became his mortal enemy and not just some guy I have class with that I hate, but he can pretty easily say that they've hated each other since the moment Hermann walked through the doors of Engineering 101 and was deigned Newt's lab partner by the Alphabetized By Last Name Seating Chart god. Something about Hermann just gets under Newt's skin. It's not his prissy English accent, or his oversized sweaters, or his absolutely horrendous haircut, and it's not even that he takes every opportunity to savagely rip apart every single thing Newt says in class. Don't get Newt wrong, that's all super fucking annoying, but it's annoying levels he can deal with.

It's the stuff they have in common that makes Newt hate him. It's like Hermann's a slightly broodier and more angular mirror that reflects all of Newt's most egregious faults—his arrogance, his stubbornness, his social awkwardness, his desperation to be taken seriously—right back at him. It sucks.

Plus, one time Newt caught Hermann ripping down the flyer he put up on the quad for Anime Club to advertise his stupid chess club instead, and he's never managed to forgive him for that.

Newt may hate Hermann, but he's not about to let him land on his ass in a puddle of fishy water (especially not on a freezing November night) just because the subsequent bitching would be unbearable, and, yeah, it would be supremely shitty of Newt, so he leaps forward just in time to catch Hermann and his cane before he hits the ground. He's so impressed with himself with his amazing catch that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Hermann is shouting and probably has been shouting since he slipped.

"—bloody maniac! What on earth are you doing in here? How are you in here? Did you just assault me? I'm going to phone campus police, you wretched—"

"Hold that thought," Newt says.

He rights Hermann and snags the mesh net and rescues poor Al before it's too late, dropping him back into the big tank with the rest of his friends. Newt can't be sure, but he thinks Al blows a bubble in thanks at him. Maybe he needs to make friends outside fish.

Hermann is still yelling at him.

"I am going to tell the head of the department you're—you're skulking about in here after hours!" he declares. "You're a menace. Pay attention to what I'm saying to you, Newton!"

Newt sighs and turns around. Hermann's turned an interesting shade of red—sort of like an over-boiled lobster, or if he fell asleep in the sun for too long. Newt wonders if it's from embarrassment (almost falling on his ass) or anger (almost being knocked on his ass). Probably anger. "Look, dude, I'm sorry," Newt says. His face twists like he ate a lemon, and he hopes Hermann doesn't notice. Newt hates apologizing to Hermann. "It's my job to clean the tanks every weekend. You scared the shit out of me and I freaked out—it's just that, like, no one ever comes by this late. Ever." He decides not to mention the serial killer thing. Hermann might make fun of him for being jumpy or paranoid or something.

Hermann's scowl doesn't lessen, but he does nod. Plus, he stops shouting. That's as much as Newt's gonna get of forgiveness. "Hmph," Hermann says. "You clean the tanks?"

"Every weekend," Newt repeats. He realizes he got some fish tank slime on Hermann's button-up when he caught him. Oops. Hopefully Hermann won't notice until Newt's in the safety of his dorm. "Gotta pay for my textbooks somehow." Then he frowns. "Wait, so what are you doing here? I didn't know you had access to the building this late."

Maybe Hermann is the kitchenette-cleaning guy after all. But, to his surprise, Hermann sniffs and casts his eyes to his dorky Oxford shoes. "Er," he says. "It's just—I was having trouble working out a solution to a problem, and thought a walk might do me good. Chilly nights like this one always do. And I quite like this building at night—it's calm, and much quieter than my dormitory." He fidgets. "And—well—only don't say anything to anyone, but I rewrote the permissions of my ID card so I could come and go wherever I please ages ago."

"You rewrote the permissions?" Newt says. "What the hell, wouldn't you have to hack into the security system or something to do that?"

"Well, obviously," Hermann says.

Despite himself, and despite Hermann being his Mortal Enemy, Newt is genuinely impressed. "Dude," he says. "That is so badass." Since when has Hermann been a badass?

Hermann's eyebrows jump, and he blinks at Newt behind his dorky librarian glasses. What twenty-one-year-old wears librarian glasses? With a chain? "You think so?" he says.

"Uh, totally," Newt says. "What problem were you stuck on? The one from Saturday?"

Being lab partners for engineering means Newt and Hermann have to collaborate on pretty much everything, including their midterms. Their midterm is what they've been working on for the past two weeks. On Saturday, though, they met in neutral ground to work on it (a reserved study room in the library), and, after a stupid and massive argument that had the librarians hoisting them out by their shirt collars and threatening to ban them for life, Hermann called Newt an idiot and stomped off into the night. Newt still hasn't gotten around to giving the problem another shot. Whatever, they have another week before the dumb thing is due. Plenty of time. Hermann nods. "Yes," he says. "Er—that one."

Newt glances at the clock ticking away on the wall. Quarter after eleven. Hermann's delayed him a whole fifteen minutes. Technically, he reminds himself, he doesn't actually have to have the tanks scrubbed by Friday night—he has the whole weekend to get it done. Also, he kind of feels like he owes Hermann for attacking him the way he did. Accidentally attacking. "Listen, Hermann," he says, feeling totally insane for what he's about to suggest. But he kind of wants to know more about Hermann The Badass. "What if we went back to my place and worked on it together? I'll buy us pizza, and I have, like, a bunch of energy drinks." The pizza place nearest campus is open until three in the morning, almost definitely because they get all of their business from sleep-deprived undergrads. Plus, they have midnight specials where you get free breadsticks with every pizza. Newt could go for some breadsticks. "It might be...fun," he adds.

Fun? With Hermann? Hermann will think he hit his head or something.

But to his surprise, Hermann doesn't hesitate even a second before saying "Alright, then."

"Oh," Newt says. He honestly thought Hermann would put up more of a struggle. "Cool!"

"But I might need to borrow a jumper," Hermann says. "If you'd be so...courteous, that is. I'm a bit chilly."

For some reason, the thought of Hermann (Newt's mortal enemy, but also a secret badass) curled up in one of Newt's baggy sweatshirts makes Newt feel all weird and warm all over. He swallows a few times, because his throat feels a little weird, too. Too tight. Like he just ate something he's allergic to. "No sweat," Newt says. "Let me just get these fish back in the, um, the tank. And—" He waves his slimy, gloved hands. "Take these off. And clean up that puddle. Gimme—um, gimme like, ten minutes?"

"Of course," Hermann says, and gives Newt a small, terse nod.

From Hermann, it's a smile. Newt almost slips on the puddle he's so blindsided by it. Stupid Hermann, making him feel all weird and clumsy.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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well-its-not-human-anymore · 3 years

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So this is a personal one for me to ask and if you're not comfortable with it don't mind it; how would the tmnt boys (seperate) react when the reader confesses that they're autistic after the boys got curious when she had some peculiar, behavior or stims. The reader would be stressed, because she has a crush on the tmnt boy in question and she didn't want them to find her weird or just stop interacting with her. When she's met with confusion instead, because the boys never heard of it, cue this weird conversation where reader tells them to the best of her ability what it is and the boys just keep asking questions. Also some general headcannons with it maybe?

Okay so I'm actually really happy that you asked me this because I feel like ASD isn't portrayed a lot in any type of media. My ADD and ASD have a lot of overlap so I hope I can capture what you're asking of me!

Now let's get into it!

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to an autistic reader

Leonardo

he wasn't really sure what was happening the first time you reacted

one minute you were standing next to him doing dishes and the next you were attempting to claw your skin off like an angry cat

Leo tried not to look annoyed as he watched you rub your hands against your shirt until your flesh started to turn red

you looked like you were crying but he knew you weren't

but your face was starting to turn purple and your cheeks were puffy from the effort of holding your breath

"Y/N? You need to breathe."

You shot a glare at him, scathing eyes meeting his now very concerned expression

your own softened and you clutched your arms to your chest, heaving oxygen into your lungs until your face became a normal shade again

"Are you okay?"

The words were stuck in your throat and you weren't sure if you should nod or shake your head

so you gave him a half-hearted shrug

he frowned back at you but turned to finish the dishes on his own

when he questioned you about it later he couldn't help but be curious

"Well actually it's uh- it's kinda a sensory type of thing? There are certain textures that I can't stand touching do I avoid them but if I come into contact by accident my brain just kinda explodes and I shut down."

"How exactly does that work though?"

"I don't really understand it much but like- you know that feeling you get when you think there's a bug on you and there's not but it really really feels like it?"

He nodded

"Yeah, it feels like that. And anytime I touch something that triggers that reaction it takes FOREVER to get the feeling off my skin. That's why I usually wear gloves when I do dishes. Guess I just forgot to grab 'em today."

He was sympathetic

and god, you were so embarrassed

lucky for you, Leo's not an asshole

"Well thank you for explaining it to me, you really freaked me out earlier. I'll talk to April and see if we can keep a pair or two at the lair just in case you forget again."

Consider your heart melted

you couldn't even find the words to thank him and holy shit was your face red

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah Leo?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me- us that you were autistic?"

Did you rip the band aid off now or make something up? Which would ,technically speaking, be less catastrophic in the long run?

"I uh- I really like you and I really didn't want you or the other's to look at me differently..."

wow, you liked him? miss ma'am you have saved this boy a world of anxiety and damn does he thank you for it

"Thanks for telling me... and y/n? I really like you to."

Awh fuck yeah, best possible execution of band aid-ripping-off ever

Donatello

Donnie wished he could act surprised when you finally told him

he really wanted to, it would've made you feel better for sure

but he sucked at lying and he didn't want to make you feel like he thought you were an idiot

because that was so far from the truth

after going through extensive research on Mikey's behalf when he suspected he had ADHD Donnie had stumbled across many different websites that discussed the symptoms and overlaps between both disorders

to make a long story short, Donnie knew that you had ASD and he was waiting for you to tell him

it would probably come off as rude if he brought it up in conversation right?

he didn't want to risk it

but that didn't stop him from keeping an eye on you and your behaviors

he was a man of science, of course he was going to analyze you

not in a weird way or anything, just as a curious sort of precaution

but the longer you were involved in the turtle's lives the more noticeable your stims and meltdowns got, Donnie did his best to cover for you without making you suspicious of him

eventually he'd come up with something that he hoped would come across as a friendly gesture and wouldn't set you off or scare you away

it was game night at the lair and you, as always, were perched on the arm of the sofa, a large grin plastered on your face

inside your head was exploding but you were masking it pretty well if you do say so yourself

but Donnie was, well... donnie was donnie

so when he noticed you starting to rock a little more visibly he removed his attention from commentating the game and grabbed a pair of headphones from the side table

you were beyond confused when he passed them to you but your face revealed everything

"They're noise cancelling, try them on."

holy shit it was like putting your head underwater, everything was muffled

not in the way normal headphones did, you quite literally couldn't hear anything at all, just a calm amount of nothing

you nearly started crying when you realized that Donnie had figured you out on his own

but you'd never been more relieved about anything in your life

Raphael

he wouldn't admit that he was mesmerized by your presence

you practically radiated calm

his complete opposite

it was his favorite thing about you, because despite your quiet disposition and calming aura you weren't afraid to call him out or rebut any of his insults

this was not something you expected him to appreciate nor was it something you thought would make you catch feelings

but damn if you didn't

he'd been sitting in on yours and Donnie's little experiment for an hour or so now, watching you both exchange quiet whispers and inside jokes that you always seemed to lag on

then you slipped up

not bad, nothing detrimental to the project, just the same mistake that you'd already made ten times over

you might as well have exploded

"Y'N, you just have to move thi-"

"I KNOW DONATELLO. I FUCKING KNOW AND I JUST CAN'T DO THIS BULLSHIT!"

you set everything down gently enough to avoid breaking it before turning and storming out of the lab, waving your hands like they were on fire

Raph and Donnie exchanged a look that sent the larger red turtle following after you

when you calmed yourself down enough to talk you kept your gaze locked on the wall, explaining that you couldn't make eye contact when you were upset

he might not be the smartest brother, but Raph's no dummy, he put those pieces together pretty quickly after you told him that one small detail

he wasn't upset that you didn't tell him and you'd personally never been more relieved

your heart nearly splattered into the stratosphere when you finally gace him your own explanation

"yeah, I like ya too."

you grinned so wide you were sure your face would split open and your entire body rocked side to side with excitement

he thought that was pretty adorable too

And he did stick around to offer a bit of support when you apologized to Donnie for screaming at him

Michaelangelo

to be frank it probably shouldn't have taken so long for Mikey to realize that you were autistic

the similarities between your own personality and his ADHD were so in sight it was near painful

it was his turn to make dinner that night and you'd made sure that you came over early to help him set up, you knew how side-tracked he'd get and you were the poster child for solid routine

what more perfect matchup existed?

trick question, there isn't one

you were on one side of the counter cutting vegetables and he was on the other throwing said vegetables into the mixing pot

the music was at an ungodly level of loud so your only means of communication were screaming over it

"MIKEY."

"WHA?"

"YOU GOT THE-"

"YEAH."

"AND THE-"

"UH HUH."

"COOL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE-"

"TONGS? NO, THE SKEWERS. YEAH, THEY'RE IN THE OTHER DRAWER."

"THANKS."

the two of you went about your previous tasks, thinking nothing of the conversation that had just taken place

at least until you'd begun washing your knife and cutting board

that's when Casey walked in, looking both perturbed and annoyed at the same time

"Alright, which one of you knows telepathy?"

Mikey exchanged a glance with you and you returned it with a raised eyebrow

"The hell you mean brah?"

he looked at the both of you like you were the ones that had grown four extra heads before speaking again

"You literally just had a conversation with like five words and somehow just knew what the other meant? What's up with that?"

you glanced at Mikey again

"Holy shit, did we?"

"I mean, not really. You used your hands."

now all three of you were confused but it quickly became two when Casey shook his head in defeat and left the room

"You know I think he's right."

he blinked first and your staring contest ended

"But you used your hands-"

"I got autism Mikey, one does not simply not use their hands as forms of speech."

"You're-"

"Yep."

was the silence laughing at you? could it do that? it was kinda rude

"Huh, that actually makes sense, that's not mean is it?"

you shook your head no

"You're just me but fast."

Mikey agreed with that, pestered you with a few more questions, and went back about working, as did you, you saw no reason to address it further

but your cheeks burned red

"Yo- Y/N that actually explains why everyone else thinks we're a thing."

you didn't know if you could choke on air or not but you did it anyways

"Are we?"

he gave you his signature grin

"If we are then Raph owes April a hundred bucks."

you returned his smile

"Oh this oughta be good."

I'd like to preface this by apologizing for my near three week absence. Life got crazy and my writer's block hopped on a train, went through a school zone, killed seven pedestrians, and committed tax fraud before tumbling off a cliff never to be seen again.

But on the bright side- I got my SAT scores back and started some scholarship applications. Super happy with that. School's out in a few weeks so I'll be able to write more (hopefully).

Anyways, I hope I got this one down okay. I may have hyper analyzed the request so I might be a little off. But I really enjoyed doing this one and I hope you like it!

-Mars 🌠

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt headcanons #tmnt x reader #askbox #ask response #writing requests #writing blog #writersblock #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016

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justabstractthings · 4 years

Text

“You’ve always got me” | Todoroki x Reader

Pairing: Todoroki Shoto x Reader

Warnings: Angst. You have been warned. (But it’s also a bit fluffy so there’s a little cushion there for ya)

A/N: So this is the same Todo angst I deleted earlier. I freaked out and deleted it. So deep breaths and let’s try this again. I didn’t change much of it for those of you who read it before. Maybe a few word changes here or there, but still the same storyline. I still think it’s trash. Todo trash angst. Oh welp. Enjoy!

Word count: 4.9k

When you were little, you’ve always wondered what was behind the tall wooden fence that surrounded the biggest Japanese style house in your neighborhood. You’ve tried many times to climb and see over the fence, but it always seemed impossible. You’ve tried listening, and it was so quiet that you almost thought no one lived there. You’ve seen a few people come in and out of the gates, but they would leave so quickly before you could see their faces.

Until one day, you were out playing by yourself and you heard sobbing coming from the other side. You were apprehensive at first. Who would be crying on a beautiful day like this? You approached the fence where the cries were heard the loudest. “Hello?”

You heard a gasp and shuffling sounds. “Who-Who is it?” It sounded like a boy. Why would a boy be crying? That’s odd. You introduced yourself and smiled when the sniffling sound got quieter. “What’s your name?” you asked.

“To-Todoroki. Todoroki Shoto. I’m five years old,” the voice whispered.

“Me too!” you exclaimed. You excitedly slammed your hands against the wood and that surprised the boy at the other side. “Do you want to be my friend, Todoroki-san?”

“W-Why?” Todoroki asked.

“Well, you sound like you could use a friend right now. Why were you crying anyway?”

“I-I..” Todoroki began to cry again and you didn’t want to make your new friend cry.

“Please don’t cry! I’m sorry!” You tried to console him until the crying began to quiet down into light sniffles again. “It’s okay. I’ve got you, so don’t cry, okay?” You tried to peer through the slits of the fence. All you could see was white and red.

“Okay,” Todoroki whispered.

“Do you want to play with me, Todoroki-san?”

“I can’t right now. I have to go train soon.” Train? What would he be training for? Maybe it’s just like the ballet classes your mom is signing you up for.

“Oh okay! Maybe we can play tomorrow!”

There was silence for what seemed like the longest time. You weren’t sure if your new friend was still there or not until he spoke. “I would really like that.”

You shouted in excitement and promised to be back tomorrow to play with him. As you began to tell him what games you could play, a shout scared both of you to silence. Todoroki stuttered an apology and ran away from the fence. You stood there for a few minutes. Sad that your new friend had to go, but happy that you had a new friend.

After that fateful afternoon, you and Todoroki would meet at the same spot and at the same time to play and talk. You learned that his quirk was half-cold half-hot which meant one side was ice and the other side of fire. It was really cool. Both of you talked about your favorite heroes and what kind of heroes both of you wanted to be. He also said that he has three older siblings but he couldn’t really play with them. You asked him why and he said he was too busy training with his father. You asked him what he was training for. He wasn’t really sure except that his father wanted him to be better. You told him that that’s stupid. He should just be himself and be happy. Todoroki said he was happy to hear you say that but asked if you could stop asking about training. You started telling him about school and all the weird things that happen and that made him laugh.

You liked his laugh. You loved spending time with him even more.

However, it didn’t last very long.

One day, he stopped coming. You waited for what seemed like hours until you had to go back for dinner. Maybe Todoroki couldn’t play today. You told yourself you would try again tomorrow.

You came back the next day and the day after that, but he never came.

You didn’t see Todoroki for two weeks. You missed him. You were back to staring at the fence and wondering if anybody was still behind the fence. Did Todoroki leave without saying goodbye? Did he think you were annoying just like everyone else? Were you not friends anymore?

Like every day, you went to the fence to wait for him, but you didn’t expect to see the sight before you.

There on your spot was a boy hunched over with his head buried into his knees. He was audibly crying. His shoulders shaking as he hugged his knees closer to himself. You knew who he was by the color of his hair.

“Shoto? What’s wrong?” You crotched in front of Todoroki, waiting for him to lift his head up.

It wasn’t for another few minutes until Todoroki’s cries turned into sniffling and he lifted his head up. “What happened to your face?” you exclaimed. There was a bandage wrapped around the left side of his face. It was wet from all the crying.

“Mama threw hot water at my face and Father got angry. Father told me that he made Mama go away for hurting me.” Little by little, you felt the air beside you get warmer. Little by little, you noticed Todoroki getting angry as he glared into the ground. “But it wasn’t her fault. Mama did nothing wrong. It was all his fault. He did this. It’s all his fault.”

In an instant, Todoroki’s left side went aflame. You gasped away from the heat. Todoroki had tears streaming down the right side of his face while large flames roared to life on his left side.

You didn’t know what to do. You’ve never seen Todoroki like this. You’ve always been fascinated by this quirk. But right now, it frightened you. You flinched away as the flames licked closer to you. The flames could hurt you, but your best friend was hurting even more.

You pulled Todoroki into a hug without thinking. You gritted your teeth when you felt the flames cover your right arm. You buried your face into his right side to keep yourself from screaming out loud. It hurt so much.

Then it was gone. Todoroki stopped his flames and cried out when he saw the identical burn on your right arm. “Why? Why did you do that?”

“I always feel better if someone gives me a hug.” You tried to smile at Todoroki but it came out as a grimace as tears escaped your eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” That was the last thing you said until the pain caused you to pass out. The last thing you remember was Todoroki calling for your name as your mind slowly faded into darkness.

You didn’t see Todoroki for months after that.

When you woke up the next day, you had bandages wrapped around your right arm. The doctors said you had really bad burns on your arms and that it would leave a scar. You didn’t care about that. You wanted to know if Todoroki was okay. None of the adults could answer your question.

You left the hospital after a few days and went straight to the fence, hoping that Todoroki would be there waiting for you. You missed him while you were at the hospital and you wanted to tell him that you would be okay, that you were still best friends. But all you saw was a spot of burnt wood where Todoroki was sitting.

Just like before, you would go back to the fence every day to see Todoroki. But he never came. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. You tried to peer through the fence. You tried listening for his voice. You tried calling for him. Nothing.

Until one day, you saw someone leaving the house. You excitedly ran to the corner of the fence, hoping to see the boy you’ve been waiting for. There he was. He was walking behind a very large and tall man, but that didn’t stop you from calling out to him. “Shoto!”

They both stopped walking, but Todoroki was the only one who turned around. You were about to run to him and tell him that everything was okay and that you were okay, until you saw his eyes. Your bright smile crumpled when you saw an unrecognizable look in Todoroki’s eyes. You had never seen Todoroki like this and it scared you. You felt the scar on your arm burn as you shrunk under Todoroki’s intense eyes.

Todoroki didn’t expect to see you today. It surprised him when he heard you call out for him. But you shouldn’t have. He turned to tell you to go away until he saw the bandages wrapped around your arm. It made his chest tighten. He did that to you. Todoroki bit his lip and turned away without a word. You would understand. You didn’t need him in your life. It would be better this way for you. Todoroki wasn’t going to end up hurting you like his father did to his mother.

For the next few years, you and Todoroki rarely saw each other. It always ended up with Todoroki either avoiding eye contact, glaring at you, or turning the other away. You eventually stopped waiting for Todoroki by the fence. Every day you waited was heartbreaking. You didn’t understand when it started.

Maybe it was your fault for being too scared to speak up to him that one day. Or were you too clingy? Were you a bad friend? Did he hate you? All these thoughts began swirling around your head until it became too much for you to the point where you forgot about your friendship with Todoroki.

It was for the best.

After a particularly normal day at your new high school, you decided to take a short walk around the neighborhood. Subconsciously, you found yourself walking by the fence. It was still a bit too high for you, but it wasn’t as enticing to see over the fence as it did when you were younger. You knew people lived there and people who live surrounded by a fence tended to keep to themselves.

As you rounded the corner, you stopped in your tracks. A sense of deja vu overcame you. There was that boy again, hunched over with his head tucked close to his knees. You haven’t seen him in so long. But you would recognize the color of his hair anywhere.

“Sho-Todoroki-san?”

Todoroki widened his eyes and looked up. There you were standing over him in the exact same spot ten years ago. You were dressed in your high school uniform. As his eyes traveled up, he saw your arm. He felt his throat tighten as he studied the identical burns both of you shared. Darker than your natural skin tone. A blemish to remind him of his actions years ago. His fire caused it. It was his fault.

Todoroki remained silent as he stared at you. Not entirely sure what he could say to someone he considered a friend so very long ago. But he didn’t have to.

Before he could make a move to leave, you plopped yourself down a few feet away from him to create a comfortable space between the two of you. Todoroki’s eyes trained to your movements while you began drawing on the ground.

“I saw you on TV today.” She saw him use his fire. “You looked so cool.” She saw him use his fire on Midoriya. “I can’t believe how strong you are, Todoroki-san.” She saw him use his fire that burned her arm ten years ago. “Are you okay?” She-what?

Todoroki stared at you in disbelief. You looked over at him with a small frown on your face and genuine concern. Something he hasn’t seen in years. Maybe from his older sister, but he rarely spoke to her as it is.

“Are you okay?” You asked again.

“I’m fine,” Todoroki said hesitantly.

“If you want to, we can talk about it.” You saw the grimace in his face. “Or, you can sit there and I’ll talk.”

After a moment, you broke the silence. “I forgave you.”

Todoroki scoffed at those words. Maybe he would have felt relieved when he heard those words a few years ago, but now, confusion and anger filled his heart. You shouldn’t forgive him. You shouldn’t forgive the monster that burned your arm. The monster that turned into the very thing he resented the most. “Why?” he asked curtly.

Todoroki watched as you ran a hand along the burn that covered your whole arm. “I never blamed you in the first place. You were hurting and I wanted to save you. I just wanted to see you smile again. That’s what friends are for, right? I’ve always got you.”

There. That smile. It was the same smile you flashed at him whenever both of you would spend afternoons together. It was the same smile that made him feel better after the long training sessions with his father. It was the same smile you had even after he burned your arm. It was the same smile that never failed to make his chest swell, even ten years later. But he wasn’t going to tell anybody that.

For years, Todoroki has had deep burning anger raging inside of him. Most of the time, it was directed at his father. Unfortunately, his anger spread towards other people as well. He was angry at the world, plain and simple. Angry that he had such an abusive father. Angry that he was the cause of his mother’s departure. Angry that he burned you.

However, for the first time in years, he felt no anger. There was a different kind of fire coursing through his veins. It was warm, soothing, and familiar. Almost like his mother’s embrace, but different at the same time.

Todoroki doesn’t remember the last time he genuinely smiled. Although it was small, it was a smile nonetheless. Earlier today, he was unsure of the path that he should take after his fight with Midoriya. Everything was so confusing. But as Todoroki listened to your words, he understood what he needed to do. But first, he would pay a visit to his mother and, hopefully, see her smile again.

Both you and Todoroki spent the rest of the day talking. For Todoroki’s case, it was more grunting and a single word here and there. You talked about the Sports Festival of UA (with Todoroki interjecting a bit about his classmates), the new ballet studio you’ve been practicing in, and just anything you could really think of. It was as if the time you and Todorki spent apart never existed. Although there was a bit of social awkwardness on his part, Todoroki welcomed your presence as your smile radiated a sense of warmth and relief in his heart.

At this very moment, kindling feelings roared back to life. Whether you and Todoroki realized it or not.

A few years passed.

Todoroki was a hero in training at his father’s hero agency, making a name for himself and securing a spot at the agency after graduation, which is in a few weeks.

While it wasn’t as frequent as it was when you were kids, you still met him by the fence and talked about anything and everything. You listened to his stories about his classes, friends, hero in training work, and everything in between. You were there through it all. You became the best of friends.

But it never escalated more than that.

And that was okay.

After a long day at school, you usually spent a few hours practicing at the ballet studio until it was late at night. The same ballet studio that was conveniently right next door to a small grocery store. As you stepped out of the studio with your dance bag draped across your chest, you decided to stop by the little store to grab snacks on the way home.

It was late at night. The store was empty except for the employees and a few night owls. You bee-lined for the instant ramen that was near the back of the store. As you turned around the corner, you ran into something hard that let out a deep grunt. You almost lost your balance as you felt arms grab your waist. Your own hands automatically grabbed onto anything to keep you still. You were about to snap and recoil back until you looked up.

Heterochromatic eyes looked down at you with a neutral stare.

“Shoto, you’re here,” You exclaimed as a smile immediately stretched across your face, hoping that he didn’t feel your heart leaping out of your chest. You haven’t seen each other in a while because of your schedules and graduation looming around the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“Soba.” Oh, yeah. The soba and ramen were in the same aisle. “Are you okay?”

You felt a light pressure on your hips and you were instantly hyper-aware that Todoroki basically had his hands on your hips as he prevented you from falling early. You stepped back as you tried to hide the blush on the face. While Todoroki was pretty perceptive when it came to heroics, you were lucky he was as dense as a board with everything else.

You gulped and clutched your bag tighter. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just getting some snacks.”

As both of you paid for your items, you felt Todoroki’s unwavering stare on your back. After a long day, it took everything you had to keep your heart racing from your chest.

After exiting the store, you and Todoroki took an evening stroll towards the direction of your houses. Like always, you both caught up with each other. You told him all about the dance studio, your classes, and your plans to attend a prestigious dance program in Tokyo immediately after graduation. You told him you would be leaving in a few weeks. You asked him about his hero training, but as always, he kept it short and brief. You didn’t understand much of the logistics, but you liked hearing Todoroki’s soothing voice.

During your walk, you heard the restraint in Todoroki’s voice. While other people may not hear any differently, you were his best friend for years. You’ve always had a sixth sense for things like this, especially when it came to the man next to you. Something was bothering Todoroki, but you weren’t going to push him until he was ready to tell you.

With the silence and coolness of the night creating a tranquil atmosphere, you stood under a street light on the corner of the familiar fence. Memories of afternoons spent with Todoroki encased in one area. There were good memories as you remembered the amount of laughter and smiled both of you shared. Dark scars peaked from under your sleeve as you were reminded of the bad memories. But you wouldn’t want to change a thing because they were all spent with Todoroki.

You didn’t realize you zoned out until Todoroki called for your name.

“Sorry. Were you saying something?” You asked as you looked up at Todoroki. You had to strain your neck back. When did he get this tall?

“Are you free tomorrow?” Todoroki asked.

“I have to help out at the studio tomorrow, but I can meet you after. Why?”

Todoroki audibly gulped and looked off to the side. “I would like to talk.”

You cocked your head to the side. “I mean, we’re talking right now. Why not just-” Todoroki gave you a look. Different kind of talk. You clamped your mouth shut and nodded. “Okay. We can talk tomorrow. Pick me up at 7 at the studio, ok?”

Todoroki gave you a curt nod. Before he could make a move to leave, you grabbed his jacket sleeve. Todoroki stared at you expectantly as you looked down on your shoes.

You gulped and smiled at your best friend. “If there’s something bothering you, you can tell me. I’ve got you, Shoto.”

Todoroki didn’t say a word as he turned and entered his childhood home.

And that was okay.

You told yourself that whatever Todoroki wanted to talk about tomorrow, good or bad, you would always be there for him. Because that’s what best friends do for each other. Feelings or not.

And that was okay.

You weren’t going to deny that you held feelings for your childhood friend. You had heart pounding, heart aching, breathtaking, mind jumbling, and gut-wrenching feelings for the heterochromatic man. Albeit unrequited, they were there. You weren’t sure when it started but you knew they’ve always been there.

And because they existed, you did everything you could to keep them locked away. You told yourself that Todoroki only saw you as a friend and nothing more. You didn’t want to ruin the relationship you had with him. You were just friends.

And that was okay.

You’ve got him and he’s got you.

Even during long patrols and villain attacks, Todoroki could not get your doe-eyed expression out of his head. Even when he closed his eyes, all he could see was your warm smile. His father and the sidekicks noticed his distraction the whole day, but he dismissed their questions and continued on. This was between him and you and the thought of talking to you tonight gave him more motivation to finish his day.

When he returned to his father’s agency, he quickly took a shower and changed into his civilian clothes. It wouldn’t take him too long to get back home if he took the train. He was nervous to say the least. As Todoroki gripped the rails, he could feel his right hand getting unusually sweaty as his throat became dry. He needs to tell you before you leave for Tokyo. Before it was too late.

His heart raced as he glanced at his watch. It was already a quarter past seven. When the train doors opened, he quickly moved through the station and ran home.

Todoroki felt his heart thump against his chest.

He was finally going to tell you. After hours of talking to his sister and friends, they helped him understand his feelings towards you. He explained to them how his chest tightens and swells every time he sees your smile, how he feels the need to freeze and burn whatever causes you to cry, and how he always gets this warm and soothing feeling every time both of you are right by each other. Todoroki wasn’t going to deny that his lack of social skills delayed this discovery, but he wasn’t going to wait any further.

For years, he was controlled by the hatred he held towards his father. But for the past three years, he was able to understand what kind of man and hero he wanted to be. He was not going to follow in his father’s footsteps. He was not going to lose you like he lost his mother all those years ago. He was not going to let you go.

While he doesn’t have a deep understanding of these, according to his sister and friends, “romantic feelings” towards you, he knew he wanted to see your smile every day. He knew he wanted to see your eyes light up every time you talked to him. He knew he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life.

This was his choice. Not his father’s. His decision. Not his father’s.

All he needs to worry about is how to tell you. Thankfully, he practiced. In his head, of course.

Todoroki could hear fire sirens resounding throughout the area. Even from a distance, he could see smoke rising in the sky. His hero instincts kicked in as he raced through the crowds of onlookers. A million thoughts ran through his head at the kind of danger that occurred in his neighborhood. Due to his training at UA and at Endeavor’s agency, he already had a strategy for any kind of scenario.

One thought, in particular, kept popping into his head: You.

Where were you? Still at the studio? At home? Were you mad at him for being late? Were you safe?

Todoroki shook his head as he tried to focus on the chaos ahead of him. He didn’t have time to think about you right now. He was a hero in training. He needed to keep everyone safe. You would understand.

Smoke and ash rained down on the area, making it even more difficult to navigate under the starry night sky. Until he saw the fire, dazzling bright and raging against the darkness of the night. Fire escaped through the broken windows as firefighters and heroes tried to contain and extinguish the flames. Some were helping people evacuate out of the building. In a heartbeat, Todoroki would have rushed into the fray and helped as much as he could.

But his heart didn’t beat. He heard nothing, felt nothing. All he could focus on was the fire blazing into the night sky and the building. Your building. Your dance studio. The studio that was currently burning in front of his eyes.

Todoroki searched the crowd for your face. Just a glimpse. A glimpse would ease the heavyweight in his chest. Just a glimpse of your smile. Todoroki could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he trailed his eyes along the crowds.

You weren’t there.

Todoroki felt bile rise up his throat as an unnerving feeling settled in his stomach. Never had Todoroki felt this way before. Not when he fought the tough adversaries. Not even when his father would brutally train him as a child. This was a different kind of fear.

The fear of losing something precious.

He needed to move. But as much as he tried to, it felt like his legs were locked in place. “Move, dammit,” Todoroki whispered to himself. He felt an impossibly heavyweight in his chest. Todoroki clenched his fists as water streamed down his face. He needed to move.

“MOVE!” Todoroki screamed as he raced into the burning building. He ignored the cries of the heroes as he felt the fires licking his skin. Todoroki kept a hand on his nose and mouth as he searched in everyone he could access. He needed to be careful. While his left side was practically immune to the flames, he couldn’t use his right side in case he accidentally freezes you. Any ice structure he makes would be instantly melted by the fire.

As Todoroki made his way to the back of the building, he called for your name again and again. He strained his ears to hear anything but the crackling of the fire. He knew he could not stay inside any longer. His lungs were burning as he tried to conserve as much oxygen as he could.

He’ll be damned if he didn’t get to talk to you. Didn’t get to tell you how he really felt. You’ve saved him countless times as children. He was not going to give up until he saved you and he saw your smile again.

When he reached the last room, he could hear a slight banging noise. Like steel against steel. It was constant. It was there. He called for you again and his heart leaped out of his chest.

“Shoto.”

He heard your faint voice. You were on the other side of the door.

Todoroki tried pushing the door open, but it would not budge. He checked to make sure the burning structures around him were stable enough. He froze the beams around the door. Hopefully, it would buy him some time before it melted away.

With his left shoulder, Todoroki used all of his body weight to force the door open. With one big push, the door opened with a loud bang as more smoke escaped from the room. Todoroki scanned the room for any sign of you. He was sure you were here. You had to be.

Todoroki stopped in his tracks when he finally saw you. Without a moment’s notice, Todoroki pulled your unconscious body away from the fire. He needed to get you out of the building as soon as possible. The hot and cold user ducked as low as he could to avoid any more smoke inhalation. You felt so light, so weak in his arms. Your head tucked into his chest. Todoroki was determined to save you.

When he finally stepped out of the building, heroes and medics surrounded him. He coughed as fresh air filled his lungs. He ignored the people around him as his eyes focused on you.

He called for your name. His heart dropped little by little every time you wouldn’t answer his calls. It felt like centuries passed until you fluttered your eyes open. Your vision was fuzzy but you recognized the red and white colors instantly.

“Shoto,” you whispered, throat hoarse from the smoke.

Todoroki gasped and pulled you against his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you.” Todoroki kept repeating those same words as if they were a life-saving mantra.

You felt Todoroki’s strong presence surround you. Warm and inviting. Cool and relieving. You weakly pushed against his chest to look at him. Soot covered parts of his face and the tears streamed down his face. You lifted a hand to wipe the tears away from his scarred face.

“You’ve always got me, Shoto. My hero.”

Taglist: @highqueen, @burnedbyshoto, @katiesmochis

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