#even though it was for self defense

[writingawaymylife]

Thinking of writing more Ghoul!reader x Simon because despite the angst these two would be so soft and loving and caring but also the most bad ass and terrifying mother fuckers on the wasteland

[daily-hanamura]

[mars-ipan]

Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.

Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏

hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.

as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D

check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia

i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.

i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and “immature.”

he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.

been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.

option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.

option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.

we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.

hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.

if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.

regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.

regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.

hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.

[funkervogt]

(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked

[uncanny-tranny]

If you mess with somebody's mobility/life-preserving aid and all you got was yelled at by the disabled person in question, just know you got off easy. Fucking with somebody's aid can easily become a matter of life-or-death, so you have to understand why somebody would "lash out" about that.

[heteromerous-rhyming]

guys, can - can we stop saying that percy jackson is an unreliable narrator who thinks he's an idiot? bc like. rereading the books.

he's doesn't??? think he's an idiot????

like sure he'll say things like "echidna.... isn't that a type of anteater?" but he doesn't think that he's himself an idiot for that.

let me quote you the book: "Go ahead, call me an idiot for walking into a strange lady’s shop like that just because I was hungry, but I do impulsive stuff sometimes."

HE doesn't think he's an idiot, but he does assume that YOU, THE READER, will think that. and that's true to his life experience, true to his school experience, true to anyone with a learning disability like his.

[willow-p012]

I was making a post about how Odysseus revealing his name is a case of dramatic irony. And then I realised all my tags just became me ranting about how more people need to blame Poseidon for the shit that happens. I do not know how exactly it turned to that.

[abandoned-quiche]

i think what undertale fangames should really strive for is to push undertale's themes of mercy to the edge - push the PLAYER to see what their limits are on who deserves mercy.

[sprtruechara]

i really hope people like my interpretation of chara for the pb au bc if they dont im putting my neck on a saw blade

[peachdoxie]

Aaaand there's some solid evidence for the "Shallan's mother was Chanaranach" theory

[astarlightmonbebe]

slightly hot take (?) but personally i felt the reactions in ep 17 were all in-character and justified... don't have the time to get into it, but it boils down to the fact that knowing something logically =/= knowing it emotionally

[always-a-joyful-note]

By the way, I love how everyone in Idolish7 is never just one thing. Yes, Iori has a cool aura and is very master-of-all-trades analytical...but he also is a guy who loves small and cute things and just kinda wants to support people he loves and also is asocial as one can be. Yes, Yamato is like the lazy but friendly older brother figure with dirty jokes...but he also has incredible trauma from secrets kept to him and wants to love his friends so much in the right way and also has a pet rover named Musashi. Yes, Yuki is the cool and distant playboy male lead trope....but he's also someone who tried so hard to stop that behaviour and is actually doing better in trying to communicate and value other people! Yeah, Tenn is a two-faced angel-demon who takes his work way too seriously and K.O.s people with one insult....but he's also way too self-sacrificing of his own good and values people so much to his own detriment. And Riku being the cute and oblivious airhead who is kinda spoiled....but also trying so hard to be more than the sheltered kid he was raised as, having so much talent, loving books a lot. It's just them being character archetypes from animanga, and the writers having fun with that, but also making them more without disparaging those stereotypes

[passionfruitmango]

I went to see if I could see the northern lights last night with my naked eyes, my phone camera could see them but i could not!

I did see a shooting star last night though 🥹

There's a lot of AI fragmenting my camera added but this is my best shot! I didn't really look at the pics until I got back inside, was trying to keep my eyes adjusted enough to see the stars X3

[uchiha-gaeshi]

Fuck fuck fuck low self-esteem has ruined my life.

[buriedunderdaffodils]

never beating the dangerous plural allegations... yes i do think it would be highly erotic to talk my headmate through beating someone to death. yes i am a bad influence who wants to see him let out all the violence he keeps bottled up, and i want it to be because i gave him the order. yes i want to pet his head and praise him as he's covered in someone else's blood and shaking from the shock of having actually killed them even though he swore never to take a life. yes i want to manipulate him into seeing himself as a predatory animal destined to hurt people and yes i want to comfort him through all the complicated feelings he has about that fact. "you call yourself the evil alter but like it's a bit right" no, it's really not

[loumauve]

the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub