#even though it was for self defense
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Thinking of writing more Ghoul!reader x Simon because despite the angst these two would be so soft and loving and caring but also the most bad ass and terrifying mother fuckers on the wasteland
#just thinking about how simon would have to relearn so much about reader#how he would see a dangerous and violent side of them he never wanted them to discover they had#how reader would be so ashamed and shy the first time simon sees them brutally kill someone without hesitation#even though it was for self defense#how they are basically an old person with years of experience but simon is *so young* and practically untouched by the wasteland#the near reversal of their mindsets from this world to the one before#but how simon is still so soft and loving to reader despite everything#still holds them like theyre a china globe#aerins thoughts#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 golden#p4g#hanamura yosuke#souyo#this scene revealed so much of their relationship in one go#yosuke has already long been established as yu's confidant at this point but this moment really drove it home!#yosuke anticipates each of yu's behaviour#but even though he disagrees with it he doesn't judge yu for it#even going so far as to help yu hide it from the rest of the team#its debatable whether thats necessarily a good thing#but it demonstrates yosuke's unwavering loyalty to yu while also making clear his disappointment#and of course yosuke has much to feel sad and disappointment over - one the one hand it felt like yu didnt trust him/them enough#he phrased it as a matter of “you should trust us more” as opposed to “you should trust ME more” because talking about trust in the singula#would hit too close to home and risk making too many demands of yu. demands that yosuke didnt feel he was allowed to make#afterall why would yu trust him but not the others? but the team is made up of other more reliable people than he was#and bringing up the team gives yosuke a defensive cover#so as usual it's part of yosuke's self doubt creeping in#but theres also honesty here - yosuke wasnt here to accost him or be angry at him; he really showed up just to make sure that yu was safe#and once hes confirmed it yosuke falls back to his usual habits of cracking a joke to lighten the mood#to end the conversation on a joke feels like its as much a service for yu as it is for himself#we know yosuke tends to joke to make the people around him feel better and i think in this instance he was also trying to cheer yu up#whether it was to make up for yosuke approaching him or to alleviate any guilt yu might feel#or even to manage whatever it was that adachi might have said to yu (which yosuke undoubtedly picked up on)#yosuke doesn't let his disagreement with yu get in the way of supporting his partner#to some extent i also wonder if this loyalty was also coloured by their previous interaction with namatame and Yosuke's anger#it's been less than a week since that incident after all and i think theres this contradiction for yosuke#and i think there was probably a contradiction in Yosuke's heart in that moment: he doesn't trust himself to make good judgements#but as much as he'd rather take yu's lead in this instance he also feels like his leader was wrong here
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If you mess with somebody's mobility/life-preserving aid and all you got was yelled at by the disabled person in question, just know you got off easy. Fucking with somebody's aid can easily become a matter of life-or-death, so you have to understand why somebody would "lash out" about that.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#reminder that fucking with somebody's aid can easily be classified under physical assault (which is what it is)#still fuming about the time my dad talked about how other people would fuck with his CPAP machine since it *has* to be plugged in an outlet#like. do you understand that not having a CPAP machine can easily either severely negatively affect somebody or kill them..#like why would the thought even cross your mind to risk somebody's life or wellbeing like that#but like. it just kind of reminds me that people can be really thoughtless about what they do and cause and effect#like at this point it's self-defense in my eyes and if you're yelled at i don't have sympathy#i will understand if you thought you were being nice but that's where my understanding ends#this is why i like when people have huge patches/stickers on their aids that are like 'DO NOT TOUCH ME' or 'I WILL BITE IF YOU TOUCH ME'#just as examples. but like. yes you shouldn't need to put that there in the first place but it is iconic#it is in-your-face and direct and it reminds everybody around you that it is up to *them* to treat *you* as an equal to abled people#it is bleak though and i hate that people have the need to put them there in the first place#if i ever needed to use more visible or 'obtrusive' aids then i'd absolutely do the same thing though
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guys, can - can we stop saying that percy jackson is an unreliable narrator who thinks he's an idiot? bc like. rereading the books.
he's doesn't??? think he's an idiot????
like sure he'll say things like "echidna.... isn't that a type of anteater?" but he doesn't think that he's himself an idiot for that.
let me quote you the book: "Go ahead, call me an idiot for walking into a strange lady’s shop like that just because I was hungry, but I do impulsive stuff sometimes."
HE doesn't think he's an idiot, but he does assume that YOU, THE READER, will think that. and that's true to his life experience, true to his school experience, true to anyone with a learning disability like his.
#like the two other time that he calls himself an idiot#it's not a self worth statement#the first one is an “i feel awkward in this armor it doesn't fit me”#and the second one#is when he stops at the entrance to an alley#he's calling himself an idiot bc he holds his streetsmart up to a high standard#like guys#guys#please.#THE ONLY ONES CALLING HIM AN IDIOT ARE YOU#THE READER#(at least in the first book fair warning haven't read past HoO)#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#but only in the sense that it's in reference to the show that i see this type of defense rn#i'm just really salty#bc i've seen my brother do the same thing#where he assumes he'll be taken as an idiot or dumb#even though he knows and is confident in his own intelligence#.
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I was making a post about how Odysseus revealing his name is a case of dramatic irony. And then I realised all my tags just became me ranting about how more people need to blame Poseidon for the shit that happens. I do not know how exactly it turned to that.
#Epic the musical#Odysseus#Poseidon#I'm right though🙏#All of Odysseus' actions lean on the reasonable side (yes even during the war which he was forced into)#Until he begins being put into impossible situations surrounding the divine#All the consequences of POSEIDON being unreasonable#Because yes killing like 500 men because one guy got made blind out of self-defense & knew the “attacker”s name is completely unreasonable#THE ENTIRE STORY STEMS FROM ONE INSTANCE OF A MORTAL MAKING A MISTAKE AND BEING UNREASONABLY PUNISHED FOR IT BY A GOD#EURYLOCHUS TOO!!!#Eurylochus gets dragged into these impossible situations too#All of the crew is dragged into a punishment for a VERY REASONABLE mistake they didn't even make#I really love Poseidon and his role in the story and his role in the story is fucking things up
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i think what undertale fangames should really strive for is to push undertale's themes of mercy to the edge - push the PLAYER to see what their limits are on who deserves mercy.
#like for example.#someone who's having some sort of psychotic break and trying to hurt you. can you really justify killing them just because they were trying#to kill you? even though they would have snapped out of it eventually? even though they didn't actually WANT to kill you?#some would say you're justified to kill that person in self defense because you might have died if you didn't.#remember that there's always a power imbalance between humans and monsters. the human always has more power to end the conflict peacefully.#how about someone who's killed before? not someone like asgore or flowey where the situation's intricacies run deep.#this person simply murdered another monster because they wanted to. because they had something to gain from it#physically or emotionally. let's say he poisoned his lovely father to get his inheritence.#he is not fighting YOU to kill you for some petty gain - he's doing it for some other reason.#perhaps he's fighting you with no intent to kill - just to deter you from doing something that could ruin his life. or perhaps he intends t#kill you for a good reason.#can you justify taking his life because of what he did before?#the answers to these may seem obvious to you. but there are many who do believe it is within your right to kill these people.#this game should push them to reconsider their stance on this topic.#when you spare everyone because 'it's an undertale game and that's what you're supposed to do' sometimes you can miss out. and miss the poin#many people would be like 'i'm supposed to spare this guy? seriously? that's stupid.' and do it snyway because it's what you're 'supposed'#to do because it's an undertale game and the lesson is 'killing is bad.' they don't stop to reconsider WHY they think it's ridiculous to be#asked to spare these people.#i want to make an undertale fangame where at the beginning it says something like#'Don't just spare characters because this is an Undertale game and that's what you're 'supposed' to do. I want you to actually think about#the decision. Decide for YOURSELF what you think you should do in these situations. And really consider why you feel that way. Ultimately#the choice is up to you - that's the point of the game.'
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By the way, I love how everyone in Idolish7 is never just one thing. Yes, Iori has a cool aura and is very master-of-all-trades analytical...but he also is a guy who loves small and cute things and just kinda wants to support people he loves and also is asocial as one can be. Yes, Yamato is like the lazy but friendly older brother figure with dirty jokes...but he also has incredible trauma from secrets kept to him and wants to love his friends so much in the right way and also has a pet rover named Musashi. Yes, Yuki is the cool and distant playboy male lead trope....but he's also someone who tried so hard to stop that behaviour and is actually doing better in trying to communicate and value other people! Yeah, Tenn is a two-faced angel-demon who takes his work way too seriously and K.O.s people with one insult....but he's also way too self-sacrificing of his own good and values people so much to his own detriment. And Riku being the cute and oblivious airhead who is kinda spoiled....but also trying so hard to be more than the sheltered kid he was raised as, having so much talent, loving books a lot. It's just them being character archetypes from animanga, and the writers having fun with that, but also making them more without disparaging those stereotypes
#i want to go on with the other characters and i didnt even do any of zool (im so sorry zool...i do love you a lot though)#but i didnt want this post to get too long#here ill do one in zool in the tags#yeah minami is snakelike and mildly possessive a bit like the yandere trope....#...but he is also so sincere and has issues stemming from being used as a child not to mention his love for piano and composition...#...is genuine#his soft side is as real as his possessive side#fandom spamdom#idolish7#note's notes#I JUST LOVE CHARACTERS WHO ARE MULTIFACETED#and that their many multitudes do not undermine each other#riku can be philosophical and clueless#iori can be a tsundere and such a sincere weirdo about people he loves#tamaki can be rude and self defensive and also emotionally intelligent and kind#and so on#guys help im having fictional idol brainrot....
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I went to see if I could see the northern lights last night with my naked eyes, my phone camera could see them but i could not!
I did see a shooting star last night though 🥹
There's a lot of AI fragmenting my camera added but this is my best shot! I didn't really look at the pics until I got back inside, was trying to keep my eyes adjusted enough to see the stars X3
#sunnie thoughts#northern lights#aurora borealis#low qual#low quality#i enjoyed my time outside until my fight or flight kicked in#my body noticed it was too quiet and even though i was fully safe and had self defense i still tunnel visioned and needed to get back home
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actually i do want to make this a post. it’s so interesting to think about harry from other people’s perspectives, especially if they’re people who were around him before martinaise. because the thing about harry is: he’s a spectacle. there is not a single person left to him who genuinely *cares*. but there are people who take an interest for interest’s sake. harry is the car crash that people can’t look away from, and it’s such a rich lens to view him through.
let’s exclude jean, judit and trant because there’s already enough you can say about them as the sole remaining members of the major crimes unit. think of the other officers who worked at the 41st. whether they worked in c-wing with him or not, they were exposed to him. they had to be around him in some capacity. as a lieutenant, he was “responsible” (i use that term loosely) for overseeing a number of subordinates under the rank system.
like put yourself in the shoes of a patrol officer at the 41st. you know harry as, in a word, unstable. a deeply unreliable man of extremes with alarmingly few personal attachments to keep him in check. he’s also practically untouchable as long as he keeps getting results, which he does, at a cost. so there’s never any point in formally complaining about him- he’s never going to be corrected or fired, so you just do one of the following: 1) keep your mouth shut (if you’re polite or playing it safe), 2) only bitch about him out of earshot (if you’ve got something to say but you’re nonconfrontational), 3) start shit with him but in a “playful” way that is secretly sincere (if you’re ballsy/have known him long enough), 4) or start shit with him for real (if you’re jean, or have a death wish).
and the thing about the last two of those options- *especially the 3rd, which seems to be the favorite of his fellow C-wingers*- you have to know him VERY WELL to pull it off without ostensibly getting your nose broken (or worse). you have to know his moods and his triggers and what exact cocktail of bullshit he’s displaying that day so you know where the line is for this particular shift. whoever figures it out first passes it along to everyone else- hey, you can fuck with him about dating today, but don’t bring up the drinking or last week’s case or he’ll go ballistic. and it’s just like... he’s a specimen. you may not know him on a personal heart-to-heart level, but you know him the way a zookeeper knows their tigers, or the way the falconer knows their hawk. you know when to feed and when to back away with your arms up. it doesn’t make things better, but it stops them getting worse. (for you, anyway).
then martinaise happens and if he comes back- his instability is still there, but it’s not the same. you don’t recognize the way he’s acting. maybe some things are not as bad as before, but all of it is different and it’s impossible to get a read on it. you have no idea how to approach him now, or if you should approach him at all. there’s a new layer to his unreliability and it’s somehow even scarier than before. there’s a tiny tiny calm in his storm, finally, and you don’t know when it’s going to break or what’s going to break it. you hear he’s finally actually kicking the booze and maybe you just scoff and move on, or maybe you let yourself root for him. really it all depends on how long you’ve known him, how many times you’ve seen him *try*. how sympathetic you are to his conditions and how patient of a person you are. how many times he’s hurt you (because that number is rarely going to be zero). no matter what, you’re going to be left wondering. you don’t know how much of him is gone. you don’t know how much is going to come back. you’re not sure how much of each you *want*.
#disco elysium meta#harry du bois#disco elysium#sorry i just think it's so interesting. thinking about the people who watch him come back#you've lost the only little bit of predictability to this man. also this is isn't the same guy even though it is#you don't know how to feel about that. maybe you have the privilege of being distant enough not to care#in a way it's like harry is mr. superstar out of necessity#people engage with him the way they engage with celebrities#they want the entertainment and all the bloody gory details. but interest only extends as far as morbid curiosity#it's an artificial ego inflation as a last ditch effort to stave off the self loathing and the knowledge that no one *gives a shit*#maybe if he pretends he wants to be a display-only item then he'll start to believe it#he's just so deeply convinced that the things people hate about him are his inherent traits that he can't change#and not. you know. his abusive manipulative behavior.#at least before martinaise he had NO self awareness of the fact that he was just actively making people leave#as a self defense measure#he convinced himself that his own shitty coping mechanisms were a way in which he was a victim#instead of the self-inflicted feedback loop they actually were#sorry. im insane i know. but im right#kiwipost#hdb meta
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Megora thought killing Aster would be easy (it was not easy)
#my doodles#zesty's ocs#Megora Aptora#Aster Dromeon#cw blood#cw death#So yea this is what basically happened during the fire#Megora attacked Aster and Aster fought back#killing Megora wasn't intentional though it just kind of happened#Aster handles the fact that they killed even in self defense very uh Normally (lie)#it's actually what the Aster animatic I want to make is about#I already made character refs/concepts so I'll post those later
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sketches of the three. i cant get the visual of heart as like this shaky little creature barking and growling and stuff out of my head like yeah. awesome. also, in regards to things like the fights between heart and mind, i think while mind would be and is the most antagonistic, heart feels like the first to throw a punch. kind of like being pushed to their limit.
#my art#chonny jash#mind#heart#soul#thinking like. minds response to physical violence would technically be self defense if heart throws the first blow#so even if mind pushed heart into it#mind could use that to say that heart is just so childish and immature and cant even take a few harsh words#etc etc#theyre both full of shit though lol
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the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub
#life is ridiculous and I'm its biggest clown#in my defense it's not even 9 am and I woke up at 6 for some reason (the reason prob being that I start work at 6 atm)#so I chose (violence) reading Stray Gods fic in bed for a few hours followed by the need to just vibe in the bathtub#I've only just had my coffee and a slice of cold pizza leftover from yesterday and it's such a uni-days thing to do#I've kinda missed it. tho I wasn't drinking coffee back then (how the fuck did I survive mornings without it??)#anyway. feeling very soft and tender abt my past self today. I miss her even if she was just as much of a mess. in different ways#the kind of mess who would openly flirt with some strange dude she didn't really know over the phone#the kind of mess who moved across the country just for a chance at trying with sb she liked who really never wanted to date her#the kind of mess who's always fallen for her best friends and who'll likely never stop#the kind of mess who feel so damn hard for a woman 15 yrs older than her just bc she was kind and sweet and a mess herself#the kind of mess who moved in with a friend she was solidly in love with for a bit who had her boyfriend over most nights#just.. it's not all about those feelings but they're decidedly a big part of why I've ever done anything#and I will prob always miss the friend who'd lie on the train platform with me just giggling into the night as ppl walked past#her head on my stomach and me just feeling so high it felt like I'd never stop floating (just for a while though)#I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that Mi miss just letting my feelings take me places even at the risk of losing it all#I'm so much more hesitant and guarded now. and sure part of it is being medicated for my bipolar. it's good that I don't call strangers#and almost invited them over. or that I no longer walk barefoot through the city at night by myself (usually)#but I do miss just idk. intimacy I guess. and how easily it used to come to me to just try and be open abt wanting it I guess#oh well. best be getting out of the bathtub. it's not a good place to be with these thoughts. and it's too early for this anyway#a day in the life of..
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reading is a dangerous hobby 🤷
#really he views them majority the time as characters - which is a significant issue!! for himself and others!!#and ultimately the way he views them as both people and characters unable to escape their prewritten fates bc they aren't people to him#he fluctuates between self denial to protect his psyche and acknowledging that they are real people#the Without a Cure is a good example of that#he knows that they are real people and can't bear to let Binghe get hurt#but then after he has to distance himself and unreliable narrator strikes again 'yeah that's right these are all just characters!!!!'#anyways this was just to be funny but i had to add in quick thoughts bc i KNOW he views them as not being people#EVEN though he also views them as being people!#the range on this guy!!#they're characters when that makes it easier for him to cope#they're people when that makes it easier for him to cope#though usually even when he views them as people he still likes to cushion it with Heavy reminders that they're in a made up world#and it's really this thick defensive of viewing everything as not real - including the characters#but the POINT IS!! that whether he views them as characters or not - they ARE people and the pdiw+transmigrating shows him that#anyways i am Done rambling in the tags of my JOKE MEME#svsss meme#svsss
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not to go crazy about these tags but you just simply must say more on the thistlesprings as italian i’m obsessed with that
I OF COURSE WILL I WILL PUT IT UNDER A CUT THO BC IT GOT LONG
i do mean italian american because that is what i know. and also slightly catholic italian american but. yeah.
alright so it did first strike me with the extended family. i do believe that the vision that the sphinx showed gorgug in the forest had some amount of truth to it– everyone else's did, and wilma and digby are very much the idea of "we don't need anybody but each other! :D"– and so, therefore, what's the reason the extended family isn't in wilma's and digby's lives? misguided kindness on both ends.
the thistlesprings (extended) have prejudice and boy howdy the italian grandparents i know. they try and they cook and they have their laws but also they have their beliefs. my (italian, catholic) grandmother called unitarian christianity a cult and tried to stop my (jewish) aunt from marrying my (catholic) uncle in front of a rabbi (that meme of "i consent" "i consent" "i don't!"). it's giving "all they know is wrong and they must change but you cannot change them without being hurt." We cannot accept people of other beliefs so you cannot let anything else in to prove us wrong, all under the paper-thin veil of wanting to protect.
and wilma and digby are such contradictions. they're so, so self-sacrificing, and yet they'll fight the whole world. they have a tank (wonder what happened to that lawn mower, actually...), for gods sake. they care so much about their boy but they also left their families at the drop of a hat? there simply must be more but also the self-sacrificing and yet horribly defensive... they are trying so hard because they know what they want and they are willing to do anything to get it but they would prefer to not fight extensively. but they do, because they over-corrected from their upbringing, and gorgug doesn't have the solidest of ground at home to rely on.
there's also just the gnomish/orcish culture mashup of focusing so much on food. i love food so much guys. you reach out and share those dishes with others– if you're having an event, you best bet you're getting up crack of dawn and making a multi-course meal that anyone and everyone can enjoy. the frosty fair folk festival being right up w+d's alley– of course it was, it was bonding. especially the as-homemade-as-we-can-get-it. never met an italian american who prefered canned sauce or preshredded cheese over homemade. that shit is as fresh as it gets.
there's also the dramatic family gatherings where everything goes wrong. why did gorgug see basically his entire extended family. i know that. the grandchildren are in the basement playing twister or some shit and the parents/grandparents/in-laws are Hashing Shit Out. there is a veil of politeness until 5 year old is gone and then it's a Shouting Match. gorgug saw "Digby and Wilma [are] having a fight with a lot of other gnomes. [He knows] that [he has] aunts and uncles and grandparents and stuff like that." that was Moonar Yulnear or some shit and stuff Went Down. Everyone was there. the cousins were in a tire swing or something but the extended family was there.
point 5b actually both sides of the family know each other. why do italian americans know either nobody or Everybody In Your Life and Their Life and The World Actually.
they just. they have so much (misguided) care and they mean so much to me. and do you think that any side has tried to reach out or has it just been years and years of blame game, of they'll never accept him and this is just how it is and how could they destroy themselves and how could they destroy something good. it all feels very italian american to me. homegrown experience gone sour because you want to thrive.
#questionnn!#bird :D#not maintagging this#but they're!! projection time baybeeeeee#i don't write the w+d all that often though because parents are Difficult To Write#but yeah! they're so. sitting u down and talking about generational trauma#sitting them down and handing them a book on breaking racial stereotypes and fleeing from the premises bc i don't wanna get fuckin SLAPPED#i do think this level of self defense is very italian american. we (as a fandom) don't touch on w+d's defensiveness much bc they've got-#-their lawnmower but they ARE still defensive they ARE CERTAINLY NOT ALWAYS HAPPY#and i do think it was a detriment to gorgug to not see them feel anything besides happy or Regulate Emotion#in some way i do think porter was good for him (showing emotion can be healthy– emotion does not have to be gentle to be good) even tho-#-i detest the man#anyway. sorry. 1am stream of consciousness#i hope this is coherent <3#castles rambles
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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the world would be a much better place if people could accept constructive criticism and admit when they’re wrong
#a lot of the time when someone critiques you it’s because they know you can do better#and they want to see you do better#not everything is a personal attack#even though it may feel that way#sometimes you need to self reflect instead of placing the blame on someone else#i used to be so defensive when i was young but i’ve changed as i’ve gotten older#i’m not going to say it’s an easy change to make because it is difficult to accept#but you’ll be a better person when you do
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