#even though it ended up going really well and realistically I know the anxiety is irrational and doesn't make sense in this instance

[thethingything]

I can already tell we're gonna get drop within the next couple of hours because we've had a lot of fun today so that's gonna be interesting to deal with because our brain's been doing weird stuff over the last few days, but I do appreciate that both last Monday and today we got to enjoy a big event that was fun enough to do that because wow we needed that.

I also appreciate that so far this month we've done really well with challenging our social anxiety and today we managed to get up and do chores and stuff relatively soon after waking up

[quivm]

— Miles Morales' future.

Earth 42 Miles Morales x gn reader light light angst (?). minors can interact! major spoilers for across the spiderverse. ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

wc: 1.2k

genre + warnings:

very light angst if it even is idk who to describe it. extreme possessiveness (yandere), implied manipulation, implied death, kidnapping, being followed, gn reader but feminine pet names are used

notes!! i saw @ichangedmycornyahhname work of 42 Miles and got so inspired i was so happy. i watched ATSV the day it came out and saw 42 Miles was working in alchemax when they looked at where the spider came from so 42 Miles is really smart and my brain went smart villain = dangerous / manipulative with his intelligence ?? i love this headcannon so part 2 or other ff with this hc is definitely pending o(≧▽≦)o

Your steps hastened, desperate to reach the end of the alleyway. Your unbridled heartbeat raged as the echoes of the rapid steps behind you increased. The dread and unease of the situation washed over your body as you came to the reality of the situation - you were being followed.

Anxiety at the forefront of the many emotions bubbling up worsened your ability to keep a level head. Realistically, your capture was unlikely. The claim Miles had on you was well known throughout the criminal world as an unspoken rule. Never touch any hair on your head. An immense help in day to day life in the overpoliced and crime riddled city of New York but you didnt know that.

This time though it seemed that unspoken immunity ran out, seeing as you were targeted after closing up shop and walking home. Words could not describe the terror that fell into your stomach as an icy hand lurched forward subduing you.

“Where are you going pretty? You have a nice bag, huh.”

This was it. Your end would not be in action or helping people. No, your deeming end was going to be by a group of thoughtless thugs way over their heads. When a frosty cloth was pressed against your nose it reaffirmed your thoughts. This was your deathbed.

____

A dreary house was the first sight you saw as you gained consciousness. The organised but messy state made it abundantly clear to you someone was in constant use of it, although it was not welcoming or homey. Fires and mayhem in the skyline gleamed in the window, a bittersweet view. Sadden because that was your life forever unless you leave NYC- which you could never afford but reassuring in the fact that you were still in Brooklyn as harrowing as it is.

Times like this made you resent Brooklyn, there was no one to help. The police had more problems than officers, criminals were rampant and encouraged. The city felt empty, everyone was on their own to see the next day. Community was fragile and easy to shatter into a moment of the past.

Fright jolted up your spine. The heavy steps clanged toward the door. Even though you were not tied up it was a matter of time. Maybe the men would let you go? Maybe they were here to tie you up? Racing through your mind all sort of nonsense was thought about, until the step stopped right outside the door. The door creaked open, on its last leg.

The illuminating light from the hallway and window shone on you. Survival was the only thought on your mind, though fleeting and hopeless. It seemed only achievable through pretending to be asleep. Your motionless body layed frigid, shallow breaths was all that seemed manageable as the heavy boot came to a stop right infornt of you.

“I know you're awake.”

The short and sweet statement shook your world. Fear paralysing you as you reacted by trembling inconsolably as you cracked open your eyes. The dizzying onslaught of purple welcomed you as you looked at your kidnapper. Horror consumed your soul. It was the prowler. Contradicting previous thoughts, you knew you were over your head.

Before the tears pooled in your eyes could drop, as well as your pride as you were getting ready to beg for mercy, another statement from the masked man was made in the same chilling voice although this time laced with amusement.

“Calm down princesa it’s me.”

The sound of the mask slowly unveiling the man underneath echoed throughout the room. Confusion bloomed in your mind. Everything you knew blown out the window leaving only fright and shock.

“Miles?”

Your rough around the edges, attentive boyfriend who treated you with the utmost respect was the prowler? The prowler who everyone in NYC knew. The man with no enemies as he took them all out. The man who created New York into the shit hole it was today was your Miles? The universe must hate you and everything you stand for because worthwise why would it play the shitest card it has on you.

You knew Miles was on the streets doing crime, he told you when the relationship got serious. As concerning as it was you knew you couldn’t stop it and tried to help him any way you could to make sure he got home safe. But you never expected he wasn’t just on the crime scene he ran it for the whole of New York. That changes everything.

“Mi vida, I know this is a shock-”.

“No! This is more than a shock Miles!”

Everything your relationship was built on was slowly chipping away. You both shared the most vulnerable intimate parts of your lifes, you thought you knew him. But he was practically a stranger. A second life untouched and hidden away which made him who he was today. This wasn’t something that could be blown over. With more confidence and left over adrenaline you stood up next to him.

“Why am I here Miles?”

This large reveal couldn’t take your mind off last night's events. You were kidnapped by a group of men and then you suddenly woke up here with Miles. Did that mean Miles ordered it? He could have come to see you though. None of it made sense and you needed clarity.

“Last night you were touched by some low lives. That's unacceptable princessa. I went over with Uncle Aaron and took care of them, don’t worry you're safe now.”

The gentle caressing of his hand on your cheek which would have been comforting in any other context wafted the smell of iron to your nose and felt inexplicably cold on your cheek. You knew what being ‘taken care of’ mean’t, you caused deaths. You were Miles’ and he was a possessive man, no one could touch you without facing the consequences. Your ability to walk downtown and come out unscathed made sense; you weren’t lucky you were a death warrant.

“Mi vida you are mine and no one could take you from me. Comprendido?”

Reality sunk in. You weren’t only Miles' partner, you were his future. He loved you, you were his lifeline to sanity after his Father died and he had shoulder the responsibilities of the family. The only semblance to normality and happiness in his life other than the close circle of loved ones that were Uncle Aaron and his Mother. And that circle only had one more space for you. He would never let go of you, he viewed you as an extension of himself. There was no where you could escape too, he owns NYC any manhunt he orders would end quickly. People feared his power and strength but laid dead from his intelligence and foresight.

There was nowhere you could run except into his arms.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - September

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 25.09.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

gif-requests are open, but you'll need to have some patience🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in September with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. First Note of Love 🇹🇼 (8/12)

I need them all to communicate more. Not about each other but with each other. And really listen to the other one. Most of the episode was the side couple and one discuss why he thinks they would never work out and the other one tries to tell him why he thinks they could make it work. At least they're talking.

2. I Saw You In My Dream 🇹🇭 (11/12)

I love these two together. They just work and are cute and you can feel the love between them. Yu is a really perfect first boyfriend. He doesn't push and just accepts Ai as he is. I enjoy their relationship so much. And now I am really curious what will happen in the last episode.

3. Jack & Joker: U steal my heart! 🇹🇭 (3/12)

I could watch War looking at this ring for an entire episode and I wouldn't be bored. He really nailed this episode with his many personas he played. He is indeed a good actor and such a pretty one too. And I was screaming, when Jack gave the ring to Joker and let him get away. And next week we get some redemption work. Can't wait!

4. Kidnap 🇹🇭 (4/12)

These two are so cute. I know shit is going down soon, but until then I enjoy those two flirting with each other to the max. Min is already so smitten by Q and Q is realising, his feelings are a little bit more than just friends. I really like it.

5. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Do you still believe I'll come back to this one? It is a really good series, but I can't motivate myself to dive into it right now 🙈

Finished in September

Series

Takara no Vidro 🇯🇵

We had our final today and I loved it! The fact both of them missed each other and communicated this. Taishin likes it when Takara opens up to him, because it makes him feel special and closer to him. And I get that. Takara is a person who doesn't talk much about himself, but who has so much anxiety and Taishin wants to share those burdens, because they are equal, because he wants to take care of Takara too. I started this series without any expectations and with mixed feelings, but it slowly became one of the gems of the week and I was so looking forward to this final episode! A really good 9 out of 10.

4 Minutes 🇹🇭

This was something else. You really have to pay attention to get this story. I like series with a not that sugar-coated ending and we definiteky got this with 4 Minutes. Not everyone got their happy ending. Even though Great and Tyme got their happy ending together, not everything was good here. That was kinda realistic in such a mystery series. But I must admit, I really liked Korn and Tonkla's ending. It was best for their story. I said what I said. This gets a good 9 out of 10.

Hidamari ga Kikoeru 🇯🇵

This series... I loved it with all my heart for the first half. And then I just got angry with it for multiple reasons. It is so hard for me to give this a rating. Damn. I bought the mangas because of this series and I read the first ones. The problem is, the story is really complex and that works for mangas and novels pretty well, because it gives the characters depth and well, a character. But it doesn't work like that in a series. Too many subplots take away the growth of the main characters. And if you throw in a new character in the middle of the show, don't make them that unlikable like Maya. She is way more likable in the manga. For me, the second half just doesn't work and it felt incoherent with the character development. They tried to stay too true to the source material. I wished I could love this series from beginning to end, but I couldn't. Overall I give it a 6,5 out of 10.

Seoul Blues 🇰🇷

I didn't like this one that much. Yes, they had good chemistry, but this whole cheating and evil ex plot was not for me. I don't know why. Usually I don't mind cheating plots and find them kinda entertaining, but here it was not that good. I give it a 6,5 out of 10.

The Trainee 🇹🇭

Fun thing, even though this was a slow burn and we got a bunch of side stories, I really enjoyed this series! It was funny and entertaining and showed a good character growth for all its characters. That is something we don't get that often in a series. Nothing felt like a side story. They were all important for the plot as for the company. And Jane and Ryan are just cute and precious. I give this one a 9 out of 10.

Happy of the End 🇯🇵

We got our happy ending. And a time jump, but I think it worked really well with this series. Because Haoran needed the distance to Chihiro. He needed to understand that he isn't the bad guy in the story and that Chihiro was truely happy with him. He needed to heal for his own sake and on his own. I really liked the series, even though it is one of the series with the most trigger-warnings. I am just happy to see them happy in the end, after all they've been through. A strong 9 out of 10 for me.

The On1y One 🇹🇼

This series gave me everything. A warm feeling in my cold heart. Butterflies in my stomach. A good laugh. Some tears. And a bunch of heartbreaks! Damn! This was such a good ride! Those two, Tian and Wang, are soon to be step-brothers and they're in love with each other. Tien knew this since the first time he saw Wang and we could whitness Wang slowly recognising his feelings for Tian. And we didn't get a happy ending. If you will, this is an open end, but there is no working through these feelings. We just end as devastated as Tian, because Wang has built up his emotional walls again to keep distance to Tian. Because they're will be brothers and that means they can't be lovers. This hurts so bad and good at the same time! And the acting is superb! I love this series so much! A 10 out of 10 for me.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in September

Cityboy_Log 4.2 🇰🇷

This is too confusing for me. I don't get the episodes or the seasons and definitely not the plot. They are all friends and the whole cheating part from last season is just forgotten. I guess I will look into it from time to time, but for now, I drop it.

Looking forward to in September

Live in Love - Trailer (Sep 1st)

Happy of the End (Sep 3th)

Kidnap - Trailer (Sep 6th)

The Hidden Moon - Trailer (Sep 7th)

Jack and Joker - Trailer (Sep 9th)

Unlock your Love - Trailer (Sep 11th)

The Time of Fever - Trailer (Sep 12th)

Love Sick - Trailer (Sep 14th)

Bad Guy my Boss - Teaser (Sep 15th)

Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Sep 17th)

Chaser Game W2: Utsukushiki Tennyotachi (Sep 20th)

Uncle Unknown (Sep 20th ?)

[theemporium]

Girl you write Daniel SO well😍 I’ve been thinking about him x sunshine. She’s really freaked out on race day (like hyperventilating) and won’t get in the car but Daniel calms her down

aww thank you!!🥹I don’t know if I made it clear but sunshine is an engineer not a driver, but I’ve kept vibes of the request so I hope you enjoy!! And thank you for requesting!!🖤

masterlist

.

It was a dream. 

A stupid, highly realistic dream that had the unfortunate possibility of becoming a reality in the world of Formula One and Motorsports. 

You weren’t sure what exactly started the dreams, or why the thought was suddenly in your head. But it started in between race weekends, when you were in England to work on the cars with the other engineers in the factory. Daniel hadn’t come with, instead using the small break between races to return to his home in Monaco before he joined the rest of the team.

The first night you had the dream, it felt so realistic that you ended up phoning Daniel at three in the morning, desperate to hear his voice and assure he is okay. He had asked you what was wrong and you simply told him you missed him. 

To which he simply replied, “I miss you too, sunshine, can’t wait to kiss your face”.

But then three days later, you found yourself pressed against your headboard, chest heaving like your lungs were fighting for air and the sheets feeling tacky against your sweaty skin, but you didn’t have the heart to wake Daniel in the middle of the night again. Instead, you laid there, fighting the urge to fall back asleep in case the same, twisted dream returned to you.

It wasn’t a dream though. It was a fucking nightmare. It was filled with high speeds, big crashes, smoke, blood and everything else that was unsettling in a Formula One scene. Sometimes you would wake up shaking, sometimes you would wake up crying.

Either way, you never felt truly settled until you heard his voice. And even then, you still found yourself fighting the pit of anxiety in your stomach whenever you crawled into bed at night. It was taking a toll on you and you knew that, but you didn’t have the heart to tell Daniel.

But he knew. 

The boy could read you like the back of his hand and he knew something was up with you when you reunited in the next racing country, when you clung onto him for five minutes like someone he hadn’t seen in years rather than just under two weeks. But he knew you wouldn’t tell him and he wasn’t going to push you. He was sure you would tell him in your own time. 

Then, the racing weekend started and suddenly, the images from the nightmares were lingering in the back of your mind. 

Each free practice session left you digging your nails into your palms. Qualifying had you almost passing out after each round, needing to have eyes on Daniel’s car every second he was out on the track. But then Sunday came around and everything felt far too much.

Daniel was in the garage, going over a few notes with the strategists and his race engineer when he noticed the way you were lingering by his side. He reached over, his hand intertwining with yours as he squeezed it three times, waiting for you to reciprocate. 

But you didn’t.

Daniel tried to hide his frown, tried to focus on the plans and data that was being told to him, but all he could focus on was you. It was minutes later when his race engineer slapped him on the back and told him to head out to the car to set up before lights out. He turned to you, prepared to kiss your lips before he slipped his balaclava and helmet on, only to see you weren’t smiling at him as usual.

You looked distressed, almost looking a bit shell shocked as though you had seen a ghost. Your grip on his hand was so tight, he was almost concerned you were going to break some bones. Your chest was starting to rise and fall much faster than it should have and he quickly noticed the tears welling in your eyes.

“Hey, hey,” his face dropped in concern, his hands instantly coming up to cup your face. “What’s wrong, sunshine? C’mon, speak to me.”

“Don’t,” you shook your head as you were struck with the twisted idea that maybe the dreams were a sign. “Don’t get in the car.”

His brows furrowed together. “What?” 

“Don’t get into the car,” you choked out as you pressed your palms against his chest, only to fist the material in your hands like you were scared he would disappear. “You…I can’t…you…what if…”

“Shhh, deep breaths f’me, sunshine,” he murmured as he tilted your head up slightly so your eyes caught his. “C’mon, copy me. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.”

Your breaths were shaky and ragged but Daniel didn’t stop. He was vaguely aware of people in the garage watching you both, probably wondering why he wasn’t heading out to the track. But he didn’t care about them, he didn’t care if the FIA fined him. His focus was on you.

“That’s it,” he praised softly, his thumbs running over the apples of your cheeks to wipe away any stray tears that fell. “That’s my girl.”

Your heart was still thundering in your chest as you looked up at him. “I don’t wanna lose you, Danny.” 

He gave you a soft smile. “You’re not gonna lose me, baby.”

You shook your head. “You don’t know what could happen—”

“You’re right, I don’t know. But I know that I wanna come back to you after every race,” he told you, his words soft though his eyes held his sincerity. “And I will do my damn best to do it every single time.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be,” he smiled and leaned down to press a lingering kiss on your forehead. 

Your eyes fluttered shut at the touch. 

“Here’s what is gonna happen,” he murmured as he pulled away, just enough for his nose to brush against yours. “I’m gonna go out there and fucking show the world the rocket ship my girl has made for me—”

You snorted lightly.

“—and then I’m gonna come back, we are gonna get some takeaway after the race and watch that vampire movie you love,” Daniel finished, the tightness in his chest easing when he saw you smile a little. 

“It’s not any vampire movie, Danny, it’s twilight,” you huffed.

“Sorry, sunshine,” Daniel grinned before finally pressing his lips against yours. “Do we have a deal?” 

“Deal,” you replied, the words spoken against his lips.

“Good,” he grinned as he finally pulled back, grabbing his helmet and balaclava before he started walking backwards out of the garage. “Tell Christian to give you a radio! I wanna talk to you during a race!”

“You’re not allowed to,” you said, shaking your head.

But he just grinned widely, spreading his arms out. “I’m a rule breaker, sunshine!” 

And you could only laugh as you watched him race off, the uneasiness in your stomach still there but something about it felt lighter knowing that Daniel meant the words he said. He wanted to come back to you and he will. 

Every single time.

.

[mypimpademia]

— Realistic Random Headcanons

Ft. Bakugo and Izuku

Synopsis: Random headcanons (general and romantic) for Bakugo and Izuku that I feel like make more sense based on their canon characters

TW: Swearing, topics of mental health (depression and anxiety nothing super dark though)

Note: Credit to @4kh for helping me with these :) btw these are just my personal interpretations of the characters and what I think makes sense following their canons instead of fanon (I also use their fanon personas a lot but again these are what I feel like would actually make more sense!)

— BAKUGO

⇶ Realistically, I feel like Katsuki would be aroace

⇶ At first, it comes off as him simply being too goal driven and motivated to make space in his life for romance

⇶ But truthfully, all his life he simply never related to how his peers would trip over their feet because of a crush

⇶ Sure, he found people pretty or handsome, but he could never find it in him to become even the slightest bit romantically invested

⇶ He tried to, just to feel what others around him felt for even a moment, but It never worked

⇶ At first, he chopped it up to simply not finding the right person. But as he got older and as he went through high school still never having any sort of attraction to anyone, he accepted that romantic attraction was simply something he wasn’t into

⇶ Struggles with depression and anxiety

⇶ It all started when he got to UA. Constantly having your life under threat, feeling like you ended the career of your idol, not feeling good enough, and more, take a toll on you.

⇶ Katsuki’s depression is not at all visible, you have to really know him to tell. He puts on a tough guy act and does what he needs to do, but he feels like a zombie

⇶ He’d much rather rot away in bed most days than even think about training, but he knows it’ll do him no good

⇶ Since he grew up with people always telling him how strong he is, he tries to gaslight himself into thinking he’s not depressed. He knows he is, but as long as he’s going about life like all is good and well, he’s not (to him at least)

⇶ His anxiety stems from getting kidnapped and having his life personally threatened on multiple occasions from such a young age

⇶ He’s always looking over his shoulder, afraid that someone is going to come out and make an attempt on his life

⇶ Katsuki would talk about it to someone, but he’s scared that getting too close to people would also put their lives in danger, and the thought of letting people know that he’s secretly weak physically pains him

⇶ As he gets older, he realizes how fucked up it all was that those things were happening to not just him, but his classmates as well. And yet, they were still expected to go back to class and act as of all was well after almost being killed not even 24 hours prior

⇶ Holds a lot of resentment towards Nezu and other higher ups, he wishes they would have at least put them through therapy after everything.

⇶ However, he doesn’t have any bad blood with Aizawa or All Might or any of his teachers over it because he understands that certain things were out of even their power, and that if they could’ve they would’ve. Some of them gave their lives protecting students, they shouldn’t be at blame

⇶ It’s not secret that Katsuki has an aggressive nature, but he is a very caring and compassionate person, and he tries to make an effort to show it even if it come off a bit harsh

⇶ Calls his friends dumb, extras, and says he hates them, but thankfully, many of them know that he doesn’t really mean it

⇶ And if they don’t know, they will eventually because his actions speak much louder than his words

⇶ Katsuki remembers birthdays, special events, always comes through when invited to things, gives thoughtful gifts, and more

⇶ He takes on all love languages (accept words of affirmation, that’ll take him some time) when giving affection towards others

⇶ The love language that takes all for him is physical touch

⇶ But unfortunately, he’s very adverse to being touched because of trauma, and only makes physical contact with family and close friends

⇶ When he does give an occasional hug, he makes it last and you’ll know it’s special (he gives really good hugs too)

⇶ It seems far fetched, but Katsuki actually doesn’t like to yell

⇶ Yes, he yells a lot, a majority of the time in fact

⇶ But it’s always over really dumb or unnecessary things, and that’s the entire point.

⇶ When Katsuki is serious about something, or genuinely angry, he hardly even raises his voice

⇶ He’s smarter than that, and knows it’ll only aggravate the situation

⇶ Very self aware, and because of that, he knows he can have a temper! Always takes a moment to himself when something upsets him, and then comes back later to talk about it properly so he can avoid blowing up at the other person

⇶ This is especially the case if it’s someone close to him, Katsuki would hate to damage a good relationship over something that can be resolved

⇶ If the other person keeps pressuring him as he’s trying to take time for himself, then yes, he will raise his voice. But it’s more firm than anything, and he does it to get them to give him space

⇶ If they keep pushing, or he just very in the heat of the moment, he will start yelling

⇶ Katsuki doesn’t like to go to bed angry either

⇶ Always make sure that his issue with someone else is resolved as quickly as possible, because if it’s not, it most likely never will be

⇶ If he’s in the wrong, he’ll acknowledges it and apologizes… in his own way

⇶ Normally, his apologies consist of him being overly attentive towards the person over the next few days until he feels like they aren’t upset with him anymore and he no longer feels guilty

⇶ On the surface level, Katsuki is your average arrogant, ambitious, hot head, but there’s a lot more to his simple facade

— MIDORIYA

⇶ Such a lover boy and hopeless romantic when it comes to relationships

⇶ Everyone knows he gets crushes easily, but a lot of them are just for the sake of slicing up his life, he doesn’t actually want a relationship with that person

⇶ Admires a lot of people from afar because of this, and he’ll gush over people he’s never even spoken a word to

⇶ It sounds corny, but he really doesn’t care about anything physically, he looks for personality

⇶ Sees no point in being attracted to someone just because they have a pretty face if their personality is awful

⇶ Likes people who kind of act like him, sweet, caring, motivated, a bit outgoing. and has similar interests

⇶ If you don’t act like him, he gravitates towards people who may contrast his personality too

⇶ You still have to be nice or at least have basic decency, but if you’re more reserved, and prefer to keep to yourself instead of being around people, he‘lil still like you

⇶ When Izuku is in a relationship, he’s a very good boyfriend

⇶ He’s attentive, always knowing what you need and what you like. He doesn’t forget dates, birthdays, or other important things

⇶ But he’ll need that energy in return or else he’ll lose interest in the relationship

⇶ Izuku has struggled with both depression and anxiety his entire life

⇶ He was always an anxious kid, and at first, Inko chopped it up to him just being a bit shy or having mood swings

⇶ But eventually, he was diagnosed with anxiety at a very very young age

⇶ It’s manageable, most days, thankfully, because his determination to do better for himself outweighs it

⇶ But his bad days are bad, to the point where they’re so debilitating that he can’t do anything but lay in bed all day in an attempt to be calm and not trigger an anxiety attack

⇶ Took medication for it at some point, but got really bad side effects from it and now chooses to just deal with it on his own

⇶ Izuku was diagnosed with depression a few years after he was diagnosed with anxiety

⇶ It developed shortly after his quirk didn’t develop, and he was being relentlessly bullied at school for being quirkless, and then coming home to see hero’s like All Might do great things while he was literally and figuratively powerless

⇶ His depression only got worse as he grew up and was still getting bullied for being quirkless

⇶ Somehow, Izuku doesn’t resent Bakugo or any of his bullies, and really doesn’t even think of them much as he gets older

⇶ For Bakugo, he doesn’t necessarily forgive him, but he learns to put it in the past for as long as Bakugo can acknowledge that what he did was wrong and can’t be taken back

⇶ As for his other bullies, he believes they’ll get whatever they deserve. He thinks they’re assholes, sure, but they were dumb kids at the time so he puts that behind him too

⇶ During the summer he spent training with All Might to inherit One For All, his mental health got better than he ever thought it would

⇶ Inko had no clue what was happening that entire time, but she could see a different light in her sons eyes and seeing him happy made her cry every night for the entire summer

⇶ Unfortunately, his mental health once again tanked when he was at UA due to all the villain attacks and the way his life was constantly being threatened more than anyone else’s

⇶ He was so exhausted all the time, and would have one or more anxiety attacks on a daily basis

⇶ Izuku is fairly emotional as is, even around others, but he keeps his deeper issues private and takes a moment to himself when even feels like he’s imploding

⇶ Wants to talk about it with someone, he really does, but he doesn’t even know where he’d begin and he doesn’t want to dump all that on anyone

⇶ Inko did put him through therapy as a kid, but he was in and out of it for various reasons, but the main one was money

⇶ Therapy is expensive, and Inko is a single mother. She put him through therapy when she could but there were times were she just couldn’t make it happen as badly as she wanted to get her son help

⇶ Once he got to UA and was very obviously doing much worse, she offered to start paying for therapy again and he completely refused

⇶ He’s always felt bad that she had to spend so much money trying to figure things out with him. Why he had no quirk, his depression, his anxiety, and therapy, he didn’t want her doing all that for him even though she felt obliged has his mother

⇶ At that point, Izuku felt like the responsibility landed on the school to make sure their students were being properly taken care of, mentally and physically, with everything they were going through during their time there

⇶ Doesn’t resent anyone for not doing anything, but he definitely wishes it was handled much better for the sake of everyone

⇶ But if you’re his s/o he will lean on you for support. He won’t tell you everything, because he doesn’t want to put all of that weight on you, but he will vent a little and cry to you

⇶ You can use him as a shoulder to lean on as well of course, and don’t think that you can’t come to him just because he’s dealing with his own things. If anything, it makes him feel better that you trust him enough to support you when you’re vulnerable

⇶ Izuku is a giver.

⇶ He gives, gives, gives, and gives without thinking about himself

⇶ Loves to give his friends little gifts, always coming back from the store with their favorite snack because he saw it on the shelf or a trinket that reminded him of them

⇶ Because he pays so much attention to detail, his gifts are always good

⇶ Insanely good at birthday gifts, if you ever don’t know what to get someone he’s the one you need to call

⇶ He will never get you a gift you don’t like, and if he somehow does, he’ll immediately replace it with w something you do like

⇶ Won’t even get the metal of your jewelry wrong, who do you think he is?

⇶ If you’re his s/o, you’ll be spoiled to death

⇶ He always pays for everything and never even lets you worry about how much it is

⇶ If you ever find out the price of something he bought you, and proceed to ask why he spent so much money on you, he’ll get upset and ask why you don’t want him spending money on you especially if it’s by choice

⇶ Gift giving and acts of service are his main love languages, so he gets very offended if you question him. It’s like asking if he even loves you, and he loves you to death.

⇶ On the other hand, Izuku gets very uncomfortable when people spend any amount of money on him or do things for him

⇶ Doesn’t even like to get birthday gifts or have people throw him parties, because he knows that means people will be spending money on him

⇶ It comes from growing up with a single mother who made just enough for them to live a decent life, he’ll always appreciate the gesture, but it will never not make him uncomfortable.

⇶ This is especially the case if you’re dating him. His birthday and holidays are the only time you’re allowed to spend your money on him, and even then you can’t spend an excessive amount

⇶ Izuku WILL get angry if you do, he won’t yell at you or anything, but he’ll huff about how you shouldn’t waste your money on him for the rest of the day

⇶ Izuku is a sweet boy, really. But as bubbly as he is even he needs someone to depend on, and in turn he’ll give you his all

—

Taglist: @megurulvr @miirene @planetlunaa @romiantic @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @gender-queery @roaringlion @chocolateochaco @tatiquichi @kxtsxkii

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—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated! Follow for more!

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

He's still stuck in the Dunlap mud -he's not the only one-

The key here is: GUILT.

I decoded her name → here but not the last name bc Storer never made a statement of it, but @ago0112 saw right through that zodiac killer move of his and did a great job decoding Dr Dunlap's last name → here. And this is important because Storer named Claire that way because he knew all along that at some point in the story he WAS GONNA GET CARMY STUCK IN THE MUD. That moment was S3, due to his guilt, after he blamed himself for this:

That's why he can't make himself apologize to her, because he doesn't wanna face his guilt and responsibility and just say he is sorry and move on, he's stuck there. Obviously, he wishes things would have been different but he knows oh too well what he thought about in that walk-in

And he knew what decision he made and then he did follow through with it. Steadfastedly, actually.

He cut her off

But he is mentally stuck in her mud because he chose to evade and never have that final closure conversation with her, not only because that would make it REAL, but also because even though since the panic attack he kinda knows what he feels and for whom, HE DOESN'T WANNA FEEL IT, he wishes he could feel that way for Claire. And he feels sorry and guilty because he knows better. He is avoiding and evading, as usual, but he knows, he's not stupid. If he doesn't give Claire closure, he might still have a chance with her in the future. If he completely shuts that down with an apology and an adult break up, Claire will move on and he will be left feeling something he doesn't wanna feel for his business partner, and he also feels guilty about that because he feels he keeps failing her. He doesn't wanna be hard to keep up with.

He's sorry and feels guilty about that too but he's STUCK, he can't do anything about it. Totally realistic scenario BTW.

He keeps not choosing Claire

But he's stuck in her mud. It's clear he doesn't wanna get back together with her. But he doesn't wanna give her closure either. Either of those things will force him to face precisely what he's trying to avoid.

Until he's not the star bearer for Syd, he won't let himself feel what he already knows deep inside he feels for her.

If it's not perfect, it doesn't go out.

Bonus track: Syd willingly stuck in her own walk-in closet this season is the most fucked up mirroring I ever saw but it's actually a great sign because she needed her Eureka moment as well. The only reason it happened in a panic-attack way -which by the way she had been having for at least since Sheridan catering blew up in her face, not because of Carmy, although Psycho Carmy contributed this time around- is because she BOTTLES UP FEELINGS AND LEAVES THINGS UNSAID, just like Carmy. She not only avoids what she's starting to realize that she actually feels for his business partner too but also now feels GUILTY for wanting to leave after all they went through together, after all that history that she remembered right before the attack, which was triggered by those memories.

Those avoiding ways always end up in panic attacks, anxiety, etc. Let's not blame the people, let's focus on the people's behaviors and see in what way they are "causes" and when are they actually "consequences" instead. That's how we can really see the whole pic. In her case, the panic attack is a consequence of her own bottled-up feelings and avoidant nature, just like in Carm's case. And they both need to do what they are trying to avoid to get unstuck → Not be beggars to language any longer.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[eddiediazismyhusband]

That's a good point about it being the official account, not personal. I guess what gives me some sense of optimism is how happy they both look? Like even though they're both actors, Oliver especially is not great at hiding his true feelings sometimes while still being professional (see: that one interview with l*u) So if they were being forced into this, knowing that it was pure 100% bait with nothing good possibly coming for buddie this season (as you mentioned, things can change. but at least to start) I just don't know if either of them would look as smiley and carefree as they do.

But I also agree with you that we as fans often lose sight of the bigger picture of this still being a job and a business. We've seen cast members (*cough* Oliver, again) express displeasure with certain storylines in the past but at the end of the day it's their job to act, promote, and do certain things whether it's what they'd want or not. Fox before and ABC now want to get as much hype, hits, and eyeballs for the show to have success. Of course we love this kind of content, and in our minds it makes complete sense for certain roads to lead to certain ends but that can blind us at the same time.

I also want to say I appreciate you being so rational and honest with your concerns and being a space whether others can voice theirs

my view on the oliver thing is that that’s just how he is around ryan… the two of them cannot stop being little giggling blushing messes around each other (….take that for what you will….)

i also think the video was such a general “we’re back for season 8” and ryan decided to jump in and photobomb, and oliver probably assumed that that take wouldn’t be used (bc having worked in social media for productions before, those videos also have several takes that are examined by someone else before approval) so oliver most likely didn’t know if they would use this specific video or not— and so he and ryan were just being the goofballs they are

and don’t get me wrong i LOVE ryan and oliver content… when its being posted by themselves. its when the 911 instagram, the sole purpose of which is to draw attention for the show, uses them as this pretty thing to bring in likes and comments. so i dont believe they were as much being “forced” as much as i feel like it was a situation where oliver was told to film a promo video, ryan jumped in and they goofed off, assuming it probably wouldn’t be used (and also since it was such a general video not thinking about the buddie connotations) and a producer or someone else was like “this will get people talking” and it just went down the line and snowballed into yet snother talking point… which is exactly what they (the production) want it to be.

I really don’t like coming across as a debbie downer or someone who is constantly complaining about the show, but my anxiety prevents me from being able to healthily engage in speculation and (what may be fun for other people) delulu activity, and i kinda wanna be a place, like you said, where people can feel free to soundboard their own concerns about the show without fear of being told “YOURE WRONG BC I FEEL LIKE WE ARE CLOSER THAN EVER” like a lot of bigger blogs tend to do… i like to try and keep my expectations low and realistic (esp after not doing so last season, snd sesing how much mental stress it put me under) and i want to be able to be an outlet for people whose brains also work like that

now i don’t say this with the intent to yuck people’s yum and say you CANT have fun w spec and being delulu, but unfortunately a lot of bigger blogs get trigger happy and act like their delulu is 100% gospel truth what’s going to happen and it just sets up people for disappointment, and while for a lot of people that disappointment is nothing more than a “oh fuck not again… oh well” for some of us out brains process it differently and it creates a sense of dread and upset and i don’t want to be that person. i still have those moments where my brain wants to slip into delulu land, but i let myself do that so much last season to my own detriment that i am trying to remain much more pessimistic and cautious this time around, bc i have found that lower expectations usually yeild better (or more easily digested) results.

thank you for the ask/discussion, anon and im sorry for kinda hijacking your ask to make a post about the relationship between fandom activity and mental health but you kinda provided a clear stage and my yapping capabilities took over for a second 💀💀

[shxtodxroki]

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙼𝚎!

Summary: Saeyoung manages to convince you to join him in going through a haunted corn maze during the Halloween season. Then, as if the attraction itself isn’t spooky enough for you, he decides to prank you a bit and give you a fright of his own making as well.

Flufftober Day 6 Prompt: Corn Maze

Warnings: Swearing, reader playfully smacks Saeyoung once (not hard at all), reader is described as scared of a haunted corn maze attraction

Pairing: 707 (Saeyoung Choi) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Check out my full Flufftober masterlist here!

Your hands tremble slightly in your boyfriend’s strong hold, hoping he doesn’t notice the sweatiness of your palms as you stare at the slowly shortening line in front of you. And even if he does, you reason that it’s all his fault for bringing you here in the first place, his adorable begging face just too persuasive for you to resist. So really, it’s his fault entirely that he's in this position now, and he doesn’t get to complain about how nervous you are now when he was the one who brought you here in the first place.

“See babe?! Listen to the sound of those screams!” Saeyoung turns to you excitedly as distant screams echo from the corn maze attraction in front of you, his face lighting up while your blood runs cold in comparison. “This is one of the best Halloween attractions in the whole city, it’s gonna be a blast!”

You wish you could share your boyfriend’s clear eagerness and excitement with him, you really do. You know that you’ll ultimately be able to handle the attraction even if you are scared, and you’ll probably come out of it happy that you went in the end. But right now, as you slowly inch closer and closer to the front of the line and entrance to the attraction, the anxiety emanating off of your body is palpable to all around you as you squeeze his warm hand tightly in your own to help ground your fretting mind.

“...Hey, no need to be so nervous, babe.” Saeyoung continues in a slightly softer voice when you don’t respond, noticing how tense you are. “I told you, I’m right here. I used to be a big scary hacker, so I’ve seen way worse than whatever this place has in store for us. I’ll protect you, I promise.” He grins, squeezing your hand back as he teases you to try and lighten up your mood. You instantly lean into his touch, wrapping your hands around his arm and holding him close as the two of you take one step further, only about five spaces away from the front of the line now. 

“Y-yeah, okay…” You nod, your voice a bit shaky as you press yourself into him. He laughs as you bring him closer and closer to you, though he doesn’t object in the slightest, always one to enjoy physical touch with his lover. 

Realistically, you know you have no reason to be this nervous. Most of the stress is coming from the fact that this is your first time at this attraction, so you have no clue what to expect or just how frightening the scares will be. And the actors aren’t allowed to touch you at all, that much Saeyoung made sure of beforehand to ensure that your personal boundaries wouldn’t be crossed. But there was still a sea of unknown variables swimming within the haunted corn maze, and because of that, you were unable to hold back the jitters throughout your body as you clung to your boyfriend as a lifeline.

A mere ten minutes later, after listening to Saeyong’s various attempts to take your mind off of the scares you know are near in your future, you find yourself at the front of the line as you practically shake in your winter shoes and wait for the attendant at the entrance to let you into the maze. It’s big, meaning that once you go in there, you have no clue how long you’ll be lost amongst the stalks as you try to find your way out. With scares around every corner, of course. You can’t seem to make yourself forget about that part, no matter how hard you try.

“Alright, you two are all set to head in! Have fun!” The attendant’s smile is bright and friendly in contrast to your pitiful, wobbly one, and Saeyoung squeezes your hand tightly once more as he leads the way into the maze. 

“Let me be in front, babe. They can scare me first, I don’t care. Just try not to act too scared if you can, or they’ll go extra hard on you.” His willingness to go ahead of you, to protect you from danger even when it’s only imaginary, makes your heart beat just a tad faster, and calms you down the slightest bit as your feet hesitantly lead you behind him into the maze of nightmares you had been dreading all evening.

As expected, the first scare actor of the evening meets you two with an equally theatrical and sinister grin the second you turn a corner, instantly meeting a dead end and sinking your faith in your boyfriend’s navigation abilities very early on in this adventure. The actor, dressed as a zombie with a pitchfork, sneakily drew all too close to you as Saeyoung tried to block you from his sight. He didn’t say much after his initial startling shriek, simply leering at the two of you as you backed away to go down another route in the labyrinth the two of you had (somewhat) willingly walked into.

Saeyoung seems to be at least a bit luckier this time in his choice of a new route, hastily pulling you through a long stretch that thankfully doesn’t end the moment it begins. The walk still isn’t barren of the advertised frights though, as two girls dressed in similar zombie attire pop out from within the walls lined with corn, giggling and shrieking at the two of you as you squeeze on to your boyfriend for dear life. Even as your heart rate picks up and your anxiety levels spike, though, your mind easily recognizes that you’re not truly in danger as Saeyoung attempts to make quick, friendly conversation with the girls before rushing off towards the next corner of the maze. You’re quickly beginning to realize that this isn’t quite so bad, and that being scared in an environment like this where you know nothing is real can actually be quite fun.

Saeyoung notices the slow change in your attitude as the two of you make your way through several twists and turns within the maze, though he doesn’t say anything about it at first. He merely smiles to himself as he feels the way you squeeze onto his bicep less and less each time another actor pops out from some hidden location to give you a scare, and he feels his heart swell a bit when you even begin to tease him with a grin of your own for constantly leading the two of you to dead ends and begin to make a few of the choices on where to turn for yourself.

This change of heart of yours also leads Saeyoung to a rather sneaky decision, though. Now that you seem more at ease with the frights this corn maze offers, and seem to have fun with the prospect of being scared, he can’t help but want to do a little scaring of his own as a plan quickly begins to hatch in his overworked brain, firing on all cylinders for such a simple task.

It takes a while for him to put his plan into action, as he waits for you to take charge once more and attempt to lead him around another corner after too many dead ends on his accord. A distant scream from another far-off patron of the maze eventually manages to momentarily distract you, as Saeyoung pretends to drop his phone, his hand slipping from yours while his body simultaneously blends and melts into the surrounding corn stalks. He’s not going far, of course. He’s just going to keep an eye on you from within the corn, making sure you don’t get too genuinely scared without him by your side as he waits for the perfect moment to strike.

Your unease immediately grows a significant amount the moment you notice your boyfriend’s absence, eyes frantically darting around for him as the teasing tone in your voice immediately drops. “Saeyoung?” You call out for him, voice sounding shaky but not genuinely scared enough for him to call off the prank. You wait for a few moments, hoping he’ll return to you from wherever he’s gotten himself lost, but when a full minute passes with no response from him, you hesitantly begin to push forward through the maze yourself. Your steps are much lighter and smaller than before, eyes vigilant around every turn and corner as you hope in vain that Saeyoung will at least be waiting for you at the end of the maze when you make it out despite his poor directional skills.

And luckily for him, it doesn’t take long for opportunity to strike for the man in the maze, his hair and yours raising as the sound of a chainsaw suddenly whirs through the air and begins nearing closer and closer to you who stands frozen up in realization. The most terrifying part of any haunted attraction was now staring you straight in the face as it ran towards you, and you let out the loudest shriek of the evening so far as the (chainless, for safety purposes of course) chainsaw was aggressively thrust uncomfortably close to your face.

Saeyoung eagerly watches this interaction, biding his time and waiting around the nearest corner as he watches for the events he knows will play out. And they do, just as he predicted.

With the chainsaw inching closer and closer to your skin (though you knew it would never actually touch you) you sprint faster than ever in the opposite direction, only to let out an even louder shriek than before as a pair of arms emerges from the abyss within the corn and tackles you to the ground, a hand pressing against the back of your head to protect you as you both fall. Your heart beats a mile a minute and you feel genuine fear strike through your being for the smallest moment, before catching a glimpse of bright auburn hair in front of your eyes as your jaw falls open in shock. “Saeyoung?” You ask in confusion, before your brows furrow up in an annoyed glare as you’re met with the sight of your boyfriend’s signature glasses and bashful smirk.

“You asshole!” Your fear vanishes in an instant, melding into annoyance as you gently smack his arm. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“That was kinda the point, babe.” He teases in response, accepting your hit graciously as he stands up before offering you a hand in aid. You nearly refuse to take it out of principle, though it’s clear you’re not actually mad at him as you fight off a slight grin while taking his hand and standing up beside him. His arm instantly moves to wrap around your waist once you’re standing strong once more, pressing a quick peck to your cheek in remorse. “I’m sorry for scaring you though, babe. Don’t worry, you’re safe with me once more.”

You cling on to him tighter than before through the rest of the maze as retribution for his prank, practically attached at the hip as the two of you face jump scares and staged horrors throughout the remainder of the maze. All in all, it takes you about an hour to get through the entire attraction from beginning to end, as you eventually take the reigns and lead the two of you successfully through the labyrinth of stalks while pointedly ignoring any of Saeyoung’s navigation suggestions. And once the two of you are finally freed from the maze of terror, Saeyoung treats you to a shared candy apple, his kisses tasting like sugar as he thanks you for indulging him in his dream holiday date.

Request - Anonymous said: hello! for flufftober, please consider writing something for gojou (jjk), saeyoung (mysme) or keigo (bnha) ):

A/N: Ahhh I’m so excited to be posting my first piece of writing on here for Mystic Messenger! I actually have another MM/707 writing that I was working on before Flufftober but haven’t quite finished yet, and I know I’m way late to the game so idk how big the fandom is on here any more, but I just got into it this past summer so I was really excited to get to write for some of these characters for this event! :D This entire event has been so much fun for me so far so I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am, because I honestly haven’t had this much fun and excitement while writing in a long time! My requests are also currently open, so if you have a request feel free to send it my way!

Taglist: @flufftober

If you’d like to be added to any of my taglists, you can fill out this form here! Thank you for your support <3

[ghulehunknown]

Papal Punishments

Secondo x GN!Reader

Day 10 of KINKTOBER is here! 🎃

**WARNING - EXPLICIT, NSFW**

Also available on AO3!

“Punished by Papa”

Summary: You go to the Ministry Halloween party wearing your sluttiest costume and of course Papa punishes you for looking so sexy and attracting everyone’s attention, he can’t stand it

CW/Tags: gender neutral reader, clothed male/partially nude reader, roleplay, spanking, slapping, whipping, spitting, degradation, fingering, edging, masturbation, zero aftercare

Word Count: 2069 (nice)

“Did you really think you could hide from me all evening, tesoro?” said Secondo, glowering at you.

You flashed him a coy look; your plan to fluster him all evening at the Ministry’s Halloween party worked. You were supposed to attend in your spookiest of outfits, but you ended up in something a little saucier: a bunny costume, complete with a black corset bodysuit, ears, and fishnet tights.

You waltzed through the halls of the Ministry, drinking and flirting with the Ghouls and other Siblings as the Monster Mash blared in the background.

Alpha looked the cutest, dressing up as a little devil, his whiplike tail blending in for the most realistic costume. The two of you had exchanged glances before, but never acted on whatever tension there was between you. Now that you were with Papa, you would never dare jeopardize what you had with him…but that didn’t mean you couldn’t look. Perhaps tease him, or even pique his interest in inviting a Ghoul to your bed. And by Lucifer’s grace, Papa had noticed. Though truthfully, you weren’t really hiding it.

He cornered you down a hallway, backing you up against a wall. “I said, ‘Did you think you could hide from me?’” he repeated.

You didn’t respond immediately, pondering your options. “Absence does make the heart grow fonder,” you said, taking a sip from your cocktail slowly. Papa went for a classic Dracula look this evening, though not changing his usual Papal makeup much.

He spat out the fake vampire teeth into his hand. “Or it makes your Papa impatient. And you do not wish to see me be a cruel man, do you caro/cara?”

“What does that look like, handsome?” you asked, trailing your fingers up the buttons on his cloak and feeling his muscley pectorals.

“I could rip this corset off you in an instant, make an example of you to the Clergy. Then you would find out what happens to disobedient Siblings who leave their Papa in such a helpless state,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

You looked down and thought you could see a small tent forming in Secondo’s trousers, and smirked. “It sounds like a good time. But, I think my shame should be in private this time around.”

“I expect you to be in my chamber in five minutes. I suggest you don’t be late.” He swept off down the corridor, leaving you breathless, a tingling sensation creeping below your navel. Like butterflies, without the anxiety - you always felt safe with Papa. No matter how much he pretended to be a cold bastard, you knew how warm he truly was.

You swallowed what was left in your cocktail glass for some liquid courage and made your way down the halls, talking yourself up the whole way there. You knocked on the giant oak door, heart pounding wildly.

“Come,” he called, his voice projecting surprisingly well through the thick door. You turned the brass knob, prepared for anything. Not much had changed from the last time you visited his room, except this time Papa was fully clothed with a whip in hand. He was clapping it against his hand menacingly as he stood beside his large leather chair. He had shed his cloak and rolled up his sleeves, the veins in his arms protruding everytime he palmed the whip.

“Kneel,” he said, pointing to the floor by his feet. You obeyed, getting down on your knees and looking up at him. He looked down at you, a sneer on his face, almost a look of disgust.

“Have I disappointed you, Papa?” you asked shyly.

“Hush, puttana,” he warned. “You know exactly what you’ve done. Anymore cheek and you’ll receive a slap on it.”

“But I - ” you started but got the wind knocked out of you with the ends of his fingers striking you across the face.

“I said silence. You will be receiving your punishments this evening, is that clear?” You nodded. He knelt down to firmly grasp your chin in his hand and continued. “You know damn well I could give a shit who you fuck. But don’t you dare parade it around in front of me like I am some old fool.” He spat in your face then released you with such force you flew to the floor and threw your hands out to brace the impact.

You sat up and rubbed your face, still stinging.

“Have you fucked him?” he asked, leaning against the chair.

“Who?”

“Are you stupid now too as well as a whore? You know who I mean. Alpha.”

Your heart sank. “No, Papa, I swear - ”

“Not yet, then,” he said, pondering and pacing around you.

What? Did he want you to fuck Alpha?

“How many times do I have to tell you caro/cara? I do not care who you fuck or how many times, but do not presume to think I am unaware. There is no use in hiding, when truthfully I would rather you waste someone else’s time than mine.”

Ouch. You swallowed the wad of saliva in your throat, almost forgetting to breathe and swallow at all.

“Is that the issue, Papa? I will be more forthcoming in the future…”

“The issue is, my little problem,” he started. Were you his ‘little problem’? “ - that I have been thinking of fucking you all day, and here you are parading your ass around. And you are just too fucking sexy to not take care of this…big problem.”

“And how do I fix this ‘big problem,’ as you call it?”

He snapped and pointed at his feet, the shiny leather of his shoes slightly scuffed. You crawled over to him, and began to kiss his shoes, working your way up, almost eye level with his big problem - until he snatched you by the hair and pulled you away. He dragged you a few feet over to the chair, tossing you over one of the arms.

He grabbed the whip from the other arm of the chair and threw himself into the lounge. He grabbed your legs and draped you over him, your ass cheeks peeking out of your bodysuit. He hiked up the bottoms into your crack, exposing more of your cheeks and the fishnets underneath.

You gripped into the leather arm of the chair as if your life depended on it, bracing yourself for what was to come.

“Are you ready, puttana?” asked Secondo. You nodded, waiting. A loud clap rang through the room, as he struck you with the palm of his hand.

Okay, not so bad - holy shit! You thought too soon, his hand coming down on you again with much more force the second and third times. The brass beads embedded into the seams of the arm were also leaving their own indentations into your fingers from how hard you were holding on.

“Ah shit, Papa!” you cried, hissing an inhale through your teeth. He spanked you again for your exclamation and foul mouth. He unclasped the buttons on the crotch of your bodysuit, roughly pulling it up your body and grabbing your cheeks and massaging them, then smacking them each again.

He grabbed the whip and trailed it along your body, then between your thighs to the sensitive flesh between them, teasing and tickling you along your entrance. You gasped and let out a moan - until he spanked you with it - hard.

“Are you enjoying this, mm? Is my little slut enjoying their punishment?” he said, cracking the whip against you again.

“Ah!” you exclaimed, not sure if you were supposed to answer or not.

“I can’t hear you.” Smack.

“Yes, Papa!” you cried. Smack!

He gripped your fishnets in his hands and said, “These will have to fucking go,” ripping them apart in between your legs. Now there was easy access into your nether regions.

Damn, there went $12.

He spat into his hand and inserted two fingers inside your entrance, feeling you clench around him. When you moaned involuntarily, he retracted his fingers and smacked you on the ass again. You could tell your rear would be red for quite a while.

“Hands on the floor,” he said gruffly, grabbing onto your legs. Carefully you moved so you were reverse straddling him, your entrance almost level with his cock, now protruding from under his trousers and poking you in the groin. Your shins laid flat against his chest, your high heels resting on his shoulders. You held yourself steady, palms to the wood floor - though you didn’t need to use all your upper body strength as he tucked your knees under his elbows.

He gripped onto your cheeks and rubbed them soothingly, then massaged your muscles deeper before smacking you again. Each time instinctively you clenched as he struck you, eliciting a secondary smack from him.

“So tense, caro/cara,” he remarked, slipping his fingers into you once more. Again you clenched around him but as he pumped in and out of you, your body started to relax. Until, that was, he repeatedly removed his fingers to slap you square across your behind again. He repeated these motions over and over, changing up the speed he was fingering you and for how long, so you never knew when to expect the relentless assault on your rear end.

Again and again he fingered you almost to completion, just stopping short each time to give your ass another spank, judging by how quick your breathing got each time.

“P-please, Papa,” you cried after what felt like an hour, your arms shaking as you continued to hold yourself up, resting yourself against his legs from time to time.

“Please what?”

“P-please let me c-cum,” you said, trembling.

“And why should I do that? I like seeing you here, vulnerable and begging.” He paused in thought before clapping your cheek again, though not hard at all this time. Still out of fear it would be a harder spank, you shook as he touched you. “Beg.”

“Mm?” you said.

“You heard me - or are you stupid? Beg for it.”

“Please Papa,” you said barely above a whisper.

“I can’t hear you. If you are worth my time at all, at least be heard.”

“Please Papa!”

“Please what?”

“Please let me cum, Papa!” you practically screamed this time.

He inserted three fingers inside you this time, knowing by feeling that familiar stretch pull you apart like putty in his hands. He groaned as he humped his clothed erection against your sensitive bud in front and mercilessly fingered you from behind, this time to your completion.

You almost slid off his lap as your whole body shook, your orgasm practically exploding over you like fireworks - but he held onto you tightly. Until, that is, your breathing returned to normal and he released you from his grasp, letting you fall to the floor in your exhaustion.

He stood up and looked down at you with a sneer, one hand on his hip, the other on his cock - somehow already out of his pants. He began to stroke himself steadily, staring you down as you watched wide eyed below him.

You scrambled to your knees with an open mouth, leaning in to take his thick member and get face fucked. You practically salivated at the piercings lined up along his shaft, waiting to taste metal. Instead he pushed your head away and tossed you back to the floor.

“Who said you could touch me, puttana? Open,” he instructed.

You sat patiently with your mouth open while he continued to pleasure himself in front of you, moving swiftly and smoothly up and down. Lucifer, he had to be at least 8 inches - maybe even 9 - with a girth you knew would fucking hurt. He leaned down towards you, steadying himself by gripping your hair and pumping long warm strands of cum all over your face - grunting roughly while doing so. You happily licked his juices off your face, longing for more when you cleaned yourself of him.

He continued to look over his nose at you while he adjusted himself back in his pants. Turning on his heel, he walked to another part of his room to sort through some papers and pretended you were no longer there. You sniffled and readjusted yourself, buttoning the clasps of your bodysuit back up before awkwardly waddling out of his door and making the walk of shame down the hallway.

Italian to English Translation

tesoro (treasure)

caro/cara (dear)

puttana (whore)

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

Hello !! I’m here for the CoD matchup !! -feigned 💌

-I’m Asexual, i’m attracted to all genders as well!

-My personality type is INFP-T-

-I’m relatively average in height, around 5’6/5’7

-I’m not a very loud person, I tend to avoid conflicts, and I’m quite the people pleaser at times

-I have social anxiety and often struggle with loud noises + crowds

-I’m a bit introverted when it comes to meeting people, and awkward, but when I get to know someone I tend to be more open, and crack more jokes with them

-I have various interests, but I really like studying up on niche subjects, my favorite being mycology!

-I also don’t have any preferences when it comes to looks / gender of my partner

(Tried to keep this short for u bcus i know those long matchup asks can be a pain 😭💌)

I'd match you withhhhhhh

Nikto! (I'm sorry if you don't like this one)

Just so you know, I try to write him as realistically as possible, but this is just my interpretation. He's a character, and has no solid set-in stone personality.

that being said, here you go :)

Okay so I know a huge chunk of people getting a matchup end up getting Simon (i think it's because he's really popular, and not bc they actually match up good) when someone says they're quiet or an introvert, but from what you've told me, I think Nikto fits better for you.

A bit of important backstory for him:

He was a deep cover agent for Russia's Federal Security Service but on a mission he was taken by someone named "Mr. Z" and was tortured. His face and body are covered in scars, extremely so. He wears a mask to cover his face, always. Due to what happened to him, he developed Acute Dissociate Disorder. It shows a good amount in his voice lines. He refers to himself as "we" a lot and talks about how he hears voices.

"I hear enough voices, I don't need another!"

"Nobody hurts our friends and gets away with it!"

He's a very "get shit done" guy. He does make some dry humor jokes though.

Due to how he always is hearing someone talk (in his head) I think he would really appreciate someone who is quiet. Not that he wouldn't want to talk to you, but you being on the more quiet side definitely helps him adjust. You being able to find a creative way around some of his struggles would help a lot. For example; Where a lot of people would be like "why don't you just stop saying we instead of I", which would cause a sort of tension between them and him, you would let him refer to himself as "we" but you would continue to say "you" as a subtle grounding.

(Just an example, not a solid thing)

I feel like he would really like your niche interests. It's hard to truly keep his attention outside of work, especially if they're just common things. So if you were to be reading a book on fungi in Russia, he might see that and be like "wtf?" and interest might be piqued. Idk I feel like he wouldn't really be interested in things unless they were niche (that's where you come in!). He'd probably make some dry as joke that isn't even that funny, but his blank stare and dead delivery would be hilarious.

You both struggle with social anxiety and don't like social settings. He's a soldier, so he has ways to sort of deal with it. If you're really uncomfortable or are worried something will happen, he's right there with you with a hand on your back (it also helps him ground himself when the thought of something happening to you pops up). He's very loyal to those who actually get through to him. Say you're talking to someone who is making you uncomfortable. He'd probably just say something to you, in front of them, like "we're leaving" and just bring you with him. He's socially,, idek. He's awkward. Not in a shy way, just a "wtf are social rules" way. He means well, have mercy.

Once he gets close to you, and realizes he wants you in his life, that's it. Unless you try to take his mask off without his permission, or betray him, he's staying. He loves like a dog. A feral, hungry, desperate for scraps dog. You know the ones. The street dogs that will fight anyone and cling to you when you give them bread. They're still aggressive, just not towards you. Just a bit rough around the edges.

I see a lot of people writing him as sexist or homophobic, but I really don't see him that way. Honestly, I think what happened to him really changed how he thinks. I think a lot less means anything to him. He has to go fight in literal wars, who gives a fuck abt who wants to be with who? Who cares about women wanting to be independent? I don't think he cares. He barely talks to people as is, why would he care about what they do?

I can almost guarantee that if you get hurt, he's gonna take care of you. He's used to the major injuries (broken bones, deep cuts, etc) so he might think he needs to take care of your small ones the same way. He's trying. He cares about you. He's learning.

One thing you'll never need to worry about is him cheating or leaving you. He very rarely lets people in, and never thought he'd find love, but he found you. You're his, he's yours. Simple.

As for sex, not even an issue. I think he could either be hypersexual or asexual. Let's go with asexual for this matchup. I said he cares about a lot of things less than before his torture, and I mean it. A common occurrence with PTSD or just being recently traumatized is lack of interest in things, and that can include sex. I think his sex drive is basically nonexistent. He might jack off, but that's really so there aren't physical issues. It takes him a really long time to warm up to touches, even if they're kind ones. Sex wouldn't even be on the table. If you don't pick up on this, and tell him you're asexual, he'd probably shrug it off. He'd probably just say something like "me too" (after you explain it) and that would be that.

Learning to cuddle or initiate contact would be an interesting experience. He probably would stiffen up when you hold his hand for the first time. But after a while of gentle touches and soft words of how these are safe touches, he'd grow to like them. It would take a while, but he'd get there.

He cares. He wants you, and he'll do his best to do good for you. No relationship is perfect, but growing together is a big part of them.

[rivetgoth]

Today I had an observation and evaluation with a program supervisor at my internship and it went really well!

Most notably though, afterwards during the debrief she made a comment about how I always have a super good attitude. All of my marks on all of my observations and evals have always scored me crazy high for positive environment, good rapport, good attitude, etc. She was like, "Have you always been like this? Like, were you just this bright smiling confident little boy that was friends with everyone?"

And it was just crazy to hear. I honestly kinda laughed and was like... NO. I explained my backstory a little--Truth be told I was one of the shyest people I have ever known as a kid/preteen/teen. I would make up excuses to avoid going to restaurants with friends because I would feel like I was going to throw up from the anxiety imagining ordering something. I couldn't look people in the eye, couldn't shake their hand, I was terrified to meet new people in any context. I heard the phrase "come out of your shell" 50000000000000x from teachers and other Trusted Adults. My parents were always on my case about it. I remember being like, 12 or so and my mom asked me to run into the store and pick up some milk while she stayed in the car and I just couldn't even IMAGINE a world where I would do such a thing. Like, this is such a vivid memory to me, I remember my mom was annoyed and said something like "How are you going to survive one day when you live on your own?" and I legit could. not. imagine. ever being able to buy something at a store and check it out and deal with a grocery store employee face to face. It legit felt impossible.

As an older teen I started making a really, genuine, honest, active effort to change. Slowly. Truth be told I hated how I was. The social anxiety was symptomatic of a kind of larger issue or a bunch of interconnected issues. I was the pickiest eater I knew. I had dealt with genuine psychotic episodes from around age 14. I had trouble maintaining a single friendship. I was having panic attacks so bad I would end up puking. I was extremely dysphoric and didn't want to be perceived by anyone; I knew nobody would see me as anything but a girl but I felt like I was in genuine danger if I said anything, so I just felt like I was lying to everyone, all the time. It was a lot. I wasn't happy. I made a lot of small changes. Some of these were lifestyle-related: I left public school and switched to independent study. I graduated early and started going to my community college. I got involved in clubs that interested me. But honestly a lot of them were more, like... psychological? Personality-based? More intangible things. I feel like I started engaging with some really introspective shit like

Asking myself, what am I so afraid of? What is the worst that could happen? And actually going through the motions of picturing all of those things, and how I would realistically deal with them, and also realizing that none of it was actually that bad, at all. I could manage literally any of the things I was terrified of, and a lot of the time, there was nothing to be terrified of at all.

Reconceptualizing my social anxiety as an extremely selfish, self-destructive mindset. I think this is going to sound controversial but I believe a lot of my social anxiety was born from being too obsessed with myself. Not in a positive way; I HATED myself. But I was too obsessed with how other people viewed me. I was too obsessed with how I was perceived. To the point that I was treating other people cruelly. You know that tweet that's like "I told my husband that sometimes I worry he hates me and secretly gets annoyed by me, and he said that it made him sad and he wished I wouldn't think of him that way"? Yeah. This also meant doing stuff like developing better social skills for conversing with people that centered them instead of me, like learning how to recognize social cues that didn't really come naturally, asking more questions, being more expressive/reactive, allowing other people to talk first... little things.

But also developing conviction in myself! Realizing that if someone DID think I was stupid, or annoying, or was unnecessarily rude or cruel to me, that they were the one in the wrong. Becoming more confident in knowing who I am and what I'm about, so that if someone judges me, that's on them, not on me. I don't exist for other people. I'm doing my thing authentically, and if other people can't see that, that's on THEM, not on ME.

The two nails in the coffin that buried my social anxiety six feet under for good was getting into the goth/dark alt community and transitioning. Both of these were legitimately life saving. I already loved the music, but I found myself actually wanting to be apart of the community surrounding it. I wanted to go to concerts and see my favorite bands, I wanted to go to clubs and hear the music I love played loud and dance to it. I wanted to dress up and appear Cool to the people I found cool. I literally had to get over it--And when I did go to concerts and clubs and interacted with other musicheads, they were the friendliest, most accepting people I had ever met. It wasn't even that I clicked with everyone instantly, I didn't make any long term friends overnight, but they were nice. They were understanding. They didn't judge me for being a baby bat who was literally bringing his mom to shows lmao. Being in the goth community made me love people, honestly.

And obviously transitioning was just... life saving, in every single sense of the phrase. I would not be alive or who I am in any capacity today if it weren't for transitioning, and it lifted a burden so heavy off of me that it's hard to really fully process the person I was before versus who I am today. Honestly, I almost feel like you could delete everything else and just have this post become a rant about how much transitioning and overcoming my social anxiety has a 1:1 correlation and how much dysphoria masks itself as or at least severely worsens other conditions. I'm genuinely happy now. I enjoy meeting other people. I love being seen as the man I am, navigating society and being authentically me. I think my social anxiety was inseparable from dysphoria. I think my dysphoria was genuinely deeply incapacitating in ways even I couldn't articulate or even fathom.

I did not tell my supervisor all this, LMAO. She doesn't even know I'm trans. I'm stealth to everyone in my program except higher-ups or individuals in my cohort who I've spoken with. But it just had me thinking A LOT about how far I've come. What I did tell my supervisor is, and I stand by this, that I think I'm generally considered a Likable Person™ who promotes Positive Environments™ because it's something I had to work my ass off for. It did not come naturally, and I think it's why I'm so, so cognizant of it.

[lemotmo]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemotmo/757927036566290432/so-i-was-thinking-and-lets-enter-in-the-big-if?source=share

reading this does give me peace, though. the thought that there's a big part of the fandom that knows Tommy being there in at least the very first episodes of s8 is a possibility, but we all just accept it and focus on other things is nice. It reduces the anxiety over the whole situation.

I hope most of us are on the same page. I just really really want that —if this is finally the season buddie is going canon— we can all have a beautiful experience and focus on that. I don't want it to be overshadowed by pettiness (and I say this when I know full-well I WILL be petty once bt breaks up, I am a petty person). Just want all of us to collectively have our petty "we were right" moment and then immediately move on. Idk if that will be possible but at least I hope there's a majority of positivity over negativity

Hey Nonny!

Yeah, I've seen a lot of Buddie fans on tumblr (and even on Twitter) expressing the same thoughts about this. Most of us are realistic and we know that he might be back.

And again, I don't even mind him being back as much as I mind the reaction his radical stans will have. They'll most likely leap to far-fetched conclusions again and outright hatred towards Ryan/Eddie and the Buddie fans.

So the reason I don't want him back has more to do with his stans than with Lou himself. I would like to see the Buck arc continue and end with him breaking up with Tommy, because he realises they aren't compatible. But it will once again cause immense uproar in that part of the fandom and I'm tired of it. So yeah, I wish he wouldn't appear at all.

But realistically speaking? It's very possible that we'll see him again and I'm good with that if it helps the story along. We already know it will end, so cool... whatever. You know? ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

As for pettiness? Yeah, I'll probably have my private little moment of 'Told you so!' as well. LOL!

[angelofthenight]

The Monster You Created Pt.10

(Sam Fortner x Reader)

Warnings: Yandere!Sam, Dark themes, Swearing, Kidnapping situation, Unreciprocated love, Paranoia, Flashback to verbal abuse

Word Count: 2.6k

Table of Contents

( I’m so sorry updates r taking forever😭😭 I hate slow updates just as much anyone but writing filler scenes in between big events in the book r slowing my motivation down. This chapter was supposed to be longer but I wanted to get something out to remind everyone that I am still working on it, so it ends in an awkward place )

-

You were already seated in your chair in front of the coffee table as Sam came back down the stairs. You decided to be ready to have breakfast with him after witnessing the sight of a corpse rotting within the shell of a human body staring at you right between your eyes. The whole sight left you suddenly very nervous and fearful, gaining the abrupt desire to not anger him this morning thus forcing yourself to be on good behavior, starting with sitting down at the table before he even told you to.

You kept your eyes glued to the table even though Sam’s whole demeanor did a complete flip and he felt much more sanguine. However, he didn’t sit across from you as he always did and instead placed down just your single plate of breakfast. It was a little less amount of food than usual, but you’d only notice if you studied it very hard, other than that it wasn’t that big of a difference in the case of a punishment.

You looked up at him in curiosity as he held two other plates of breakfast. “I’m really sorry but I have to go talk with our guest in the other room. And I might have lunch in there too. But I promise it’s just a today thing.” Sam said with his voice orchestrated with a whimper and sad eyes. He said this like missing a couple of minutes eating two meals with you for one day was the worst thing ever. You were still subconsciously paralyzed so you remained silent even after he left for the other room, opening it and closing slickly so you couldn’t peek.

A new distrusting fear began to bubble in your stomach at a possibility that just cursed your mind. A possibility of Sam’s true motive and intentions. A possibility that Sam has done this whole routine before. That he kidnaps every girl he likes and when they don’t fall for him back within a certain timeframe he kills them and moves onto another girl. Have you bit off more than you can chew and have frustrated Sam to the point of kidnapping a new girl? Maybe all this time he was a serial femicide killer who either murders women in a fit of rage or gets sexual pleasure from killing women he’s attracted to.

That possibility was extremely realistic and common in serial killers, which just did nothing for you but make your limbs uncontrollably tremble. You didn’t even have the resilience to stomach your food out of the pure terror that was gagging and suffocating you. Your lips violently shook as your hands endlessly wrung around each other. You felt like your ribcage was shrinking and squeezing your heart.

You knew this was only a possibility yet your trembling limbs were convinced it was true. That you were going to be murdered.

Was Sam actually going to kill you? You told yourself he wouldn’t yet you remembered that you don’t know him as well as you think. Afterall, the day before you were kidnapped was when your perspective of him was as far from the truth as possible. You didn’t know he liked you, you didn’t know he was a serial killer, and you certainly didn’t know he would kidnap you.

And by the way he stared at you with those zombie eyes, you were more convinced that you truly never really knew him at all.

Your posture was still frozen in foreboding anxiety until Sam had finally exited the side door with a look of disappointment which only enhanced at the sight of your untouched food. He shut his eyes momentarily and let out a sigh before walking over to pick up your plate. With your frightening theory still tormenting your brain you gave one last try to negotiate with the possible remaining redeemability in him.

Once he was sat in the chair on the other side of the table is when you decided to speak, continuing what you were trying to get through to him before breakfast. You took a deep swallow to drain the thick heavy trembling of fear off your uvula. “My job isn’t the only thing I’m worried about.” You said with a tense voice, your eyes never once leaving the table.

Sam took a second to lean back in his chair until he gave you furrowed brows, urging you to continue. You swallowed again, your heart beating so fast that you feared he might hear it. “I-I have a younger sister who needs me. She lives in a crappy apartment, she depends on me financially and emotionally. She’s going through a lot of shit right now and she can’t go through it on her own. I cannot stay here for long.” You tried your best to force your tone to be clear to overpower the utter shaking in its undertone.

Sam didn’t say anything at first, his pointed eyes only softening. He finally spoke up with a frown. “What’s her name?”

Your heart pumped such a beat harder that you almost wheezed from the impact. Your eyes glanced up to the T.V on the far side of the room, the memory of watching the last movie coming into your mind. “Margo.” You tried to say it as soon as he asked. He looked to the carpet and nodded. “Doesn’t she have a job or friends?”

Your stare remained on the coffee table, almost forgetting the name of any job that ever existed under the pressure of waiting eyes. Your lips were closed shut so you could heavily breathe through your nose. “She goes to the community college and works part time at the grocery store.” You said quickly. “And the friends she has aren’t the right kind of crowd for her.”

“I see…” Sam softly said, nodding his head as he looked away from you like he was deep in thought. The suffocation closing in on you was suddenly lifted when you heard him say that.

Sam returned his gaze back to you, the mood in them completely switching from light to dark. “But can you at least look me in the eyes when you lie to me.” He spat.

Your eyes widened then snapped up to him in terror, that same terror stealing all words from your throat before you could even form them. Your frown was shaking as you locked your sights on his furious expression, his glare tasing you. You opened your mouth to defend yourself for your life but your words were still taken by your alarmed terror.

Sam scoffed at your reaction and rose to his feet with a sneer rubbed across his provoked face. “I can’t believe you! As if the list of your bad behaviors wasn’t long enough, now you’re a liar too!? Jesus fucking Christ.” He viciously babbled as he began to pace the floor, you holding back tears full of dread over the fact that he actually saw right through your lie as if it were glass. Again, you really didn’t know him as well as you thought since he knows you way better than you thought.

Sam tightened his hands into fists, turning to face you to yell down at you. “You’re so full of bullshit I actually can’t believe it! A sister? Really? Are you fucking kidding me?! You think I wouldn’t know you’re an only child? I literally told you there isn’t a single thing about you I don’t remember! But you never listen!”

Your lips quaked despite biting down on your bottom lip to cease it, your hand clutching onto your other one. Your burning eyes were still wide open, your lower lash lines bearing puddles of your tears that didn’t dare to leak down your cheeks. The fear of the idea that Sam had the mind to murder you still loomed right over you so his violently raised voice was just making your current emotional state even worse.

“You think I like yelling at you?!” He still continued. “Because I don’t! But apparently the only way to make you listen to me and pay attention is if I do!”

Why do you keep ending up in this situation?

~

“Don’t yell at me.” You meekly said but with a face of seriousness as you stood in front of your tantruming boyfriend, Brady. You made the two of you leave his friends’ party early because you had to wake up early the next morning to take your car into the repair shop. You had told him before you left and he was totally fine with it but once you reminded him at the party he seemed more than angry with you.

Despite telling him he could go back after returning you home, he instigated a one way argument with you in your shared living room, the subject of the fight becoming unclear the more he yelled.

“Why?! You only listen to me when I scream! Like you’re fucking deaf!” He walked over to your still body and positioned his mouth just inches away from your ear. “Should I stand right here when I talk to you from now on!?” You squeezed your eyes shut from the high volume straight to your eardrum. “Even if I did, you probably still wouldn’t understand what I’m saying!”

~

“The only way to make you listen is if I yell!” Your dad screamed down at your adolescent form as he aggressively gestured toward the dishwasher full of day-old clean dishes that he had told you to put away before he got back from work. You were constantly sniffling as tears drizzled from your wet, sad eyes.

“You’re just like your mother! Fuckin’ pissing me off all the time!” He savagely screamed at you, baring his teeth like a rabid dog. “Do you purposely try to piss me off so that I yell at you?! Do you like it when I yell at you since that’s the only way you can listen!?”

~

Why do you keep ending up in this situation? Over and over again? You just never seem to learn no matter how many times you circle back to this.

Sam finally seemed to tire out of his yelling, catching his breath as his back faced you still holding in tears. The terror was still washing over your senses as your body was still frozen and your lips were still fighting off the quiver. His harsh sigh made you physically flinch but woke you up enough to finally ask what has been bothering you all morning.

“If…” Your courage shrunk in size when Sam turned back around, your words cowering back down your throat but you still forced them through your overly shaky voice. “If I don’t fall for you…” you looked up at him with terribly glossy eyes and lips trembling more and more, “are you gonna kill me?” Your voice broke down into wheezes as you asked it, tears finally falling; asking it out loud was unexpectedly so much harder than thinking it, genuinely questioning your potential death being too hard to bear.

Sam’s jaw dropped and a look of horror that nearly challenged yours crossed over his features, his eyes going big in shock. “Oh my god, no. No, no, no.” He desperately said, taking small steps toward you with a vulnerable voice. “Of course not. Don’t even say that. I would never dare do anything like that to you.” He said honestly. “Is that what you’ve been thinking? Shit, (Y/n), do you actually believe I would do that to you? After all the trouble I went through just to get you here with me?”

Just the mere thought of life draining from your eyes made him manic, and the mere thought of him being the cause of it was too excruciatingly painful to even stomach.

Tears began to expand in Sam’s eyes. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I love you?! And that I would never hurt you!” The man tumbled to his knees before your seated form, your body finally losing its stiffness once being coaxed back to the weakness of not believing Sam could or would hurt anyone.

“Did you know this whole situation hurts me more than you? Not being able to touch you is absolute torture for me! I just want you to trust me enough to let me touch you, to feel you in between my arms. I promised you I wouldn’t touch you without your permission, remember?” You pursed your lips together, almost forgetting that he did in fact promise that and has yet to ever touch you in any sensual manner.

He frantically gestured his hands towards his chest. “But I’m endlessly aching for your touch. I want to hold you so badly but I can’t. But once I do, I know I’ll never stop.” His proclamations slowed down as a sickening sense of lust painted over his green-hued gaze with flushed cheeks when thinking of the day that he’ll finally be allowed to touch you.

“But…” you spoke down at his lovesick visage, ignoring the fact that he probably didn’t want you to respond, “that doesn’t answer what you’re going to do with me if I never fall for you.” You nearly regretted asking despite knowing that Sam would lie to you about what would happen or be so delusional that he truly didn’t think it were possible.

Sam shortly shook his head, a small smile teasing his lips. “You’ll learn to love me. Just give it a little time and you will, I know you will!” His voice was filled with assurance and hope. He rubbed his palm over his eyes to wipe away his tears as he stood up. “But this is why he’s here.” He said just above a mumble as he turned back for his room, not comprehending he said that aloud and leaving you lightly flabbergasted.

~

Hearing the door slide open, you instantly broke your eyes away from the page of the book you were reading to distract your attention away from your predicament. With the weight of the knowledge that you would meet whoever was locked behind the other side of the door when Sam returned home, it felt like Sam was gone for much longer than usual even though in reality that wasn’t true at all. You clapped your book closed and made your way to the same chair you sit in every single day.

Sam began excitedly telling you all about the restaurant he went to for dinner and the unique way they prepare their Greek food but your mind was much too occupied with the torturing suspense of getting to finally meet your fellow captive, noting the third plate Sam had pulled out. Sam exhaled giddily with his hands on his hips, smiling down at you. “I have someone very special I’d like you to meet.” He said before walking over to the closed door with an energetic grin.

You leaned forward to try and see around him when he opened the door. Words that were too quiet and distant for you to hear were exchanged between the two of them. “Gene! I mean-Sam!” You heard a voice you didn’t recognize call out in between sounds of shuffling. Your heart began to pound in nervous avidity as you listened intently and moved your body around to try and get a glimpse into what was going on.

Taglist: @alices-halcyon @katlover63 @valareina @kaitcreatesart @girl-next-door-writes @queen-of-elves

[yansimstorythatiwillnotworkon]

Osana Najimi

Name: Osana Najimi

Gender: Female

Class: 2-1

Club: N/A

Persona: Lovestruck (Loner)

Reputation:

Overall: +26

Liked: +60

Respected: +10

Feared: +10

Crush: Taro Yamada

Strength: Very Weak

__

I think Osana is a pretty well-balanced character, and I really like her. She's one of the only rivals to have a dislikable trait to her that can very well be fixed with the right solutions. Additionally, she is one of the ONLY rivals that has a good reason to want to confess to Taro by the end of the week. One of these reasons is, of course, that she's known him for longer than a week.

A childhood friend with difficulty expressing her emotions getting with her nice, trusted friend could help her out immensely. More down below if you're interested.

I won't go too much into Raibaru right now, but I will say that if Osana had to give up either Raibaru or Taro for some reason, I think it should be Raibaru. (Mind you, this is with the slightly altered ideas of Taro as a character inserted here.)

I see Taro as a pretty honest and friendly guy. If Osana were to ever get out of hand, I'm sure he'd confront her about this, and since Taro means so much to her, I'm sure Osana would think about it deeply and reconsider how she acts.

Raibaru, on the other hand, despite being so posessive of Osana, often treats Osana like she's the victim. Usually, it's "Don't you think" turned into "it's not your fault" turned to "it'll all be okay". All of this just seems like Raibaru WANTS Osana to rethink her ways, but doubles down on it as soon as Osana gets sad about it, and instead chooses to ignore Osana's bad traits. The only reason she would do this and barely have a problem with how Osana acts is because she isn't Taro. Osana acts rudely to Taro due to her confusion when it comes to her feelings, but acts normally around Raibaru because Raibaru is just.. Raibaru. Raibaru is important to Osana, but not in the way that Taro is, and due to Raibaru experiencing a different side of Osana, she sees no reason to say that Osana is ever in the wrong- even when she is. Thanks to this, Osana remains overall very oblivious to how badly her actions could affect Taro.

Onto Taro, though. As I said before, Osana is the ONLY rival to have a reason to have just a WEEK to want to confess due to her time with Taro beforehand. More time than a weekend, at least. If Taro had to get with any of the rivals, I think Osana would be one of the top decisions. If I ever decide to write possible confessions for some rivals, I think that Taro would be 100% open to dating Osana, but would talk to her thoroughly about how she acts. And with Osana's feelings for him being clear now, their relationship could blossom properly with her anxieties out of the way.

Onto Kyuji, though. I haven't heard much about how he views Osana, but as far as I'm concerned, he ONLY likes Osana for how she looks. This isn't okay, but only because of how it's perceived by others. Realistically, how someone looks is a main reason as to why another person would want to get to know that person. If you think someone is good-looking, you may want to get to know them and hope that they have a personality as good as their looks. Kyuji would definitely need some help from Ayano, but I think that his sincere interest in her and how open he is about his feelings would charm Osana. Not enough to make her fall head over heels in a week, of course. I think if Osana was convinced that Taro liked or was better off with someone else, she would be content with trying to get to know Kyuji better instead of confessing to Taro on Friday.

Hanako is a short subject and not too important in this case. She played with Hanako when they were younger, but since they went to different schools, they eventually stopped talking. Of course, Hanako is still important to Osana, and Hanako trusts Osana to look after Taro, so their relationship is still very healthy.

[milimeters-morales]

me rambling about gender for some versions of miles (both canon and au) under the cut

movie miles1610B (non-binary transfem) is the most realistic and expected (imo) when it comes to a teen boy realizing she might be a teen something-else, and there are societal pressures + spider-man pressures + parental pressures + natural high anxiety levels that really add onto why she’s so hesitant and takes the longest to accept and be okay with being trans herself. she’s fine with other trans people, it’s specifically a her thing. She sees gender as just a part of life, something she’s always had, but as she learns more and more, she realizes it is a performance, and she can do whatever she wants, which ends up circling back to looking how she normally does most of the time. really simplified version but you’d have to go through my older posts for more in depth explanations for movie miles specifically. Sometimes i think of Miles being intersex too, but i don’t know enough about the types to be really confident in that hc so it’s more of an exploring starting point whenever i feel like deep diving.

comic miles (cis-genderless) would describe himself as a cis male, but only because that’s what he was assigned at birth, completely uncaring of literally anything else. He’s connected to it because that’s what he was labeled as when he was born, and how he’s connected to the people in his life, but he himself doesn’t see it as anything really important. He’s his parents’ son, he’s his uncle’s nephew, he’s someone’s boyfriend, he’s the “strange boy” to a stranger, he’s the “black dude”, and though he hates that his race has anything to do with his connection to being male, it unfortunately shapes him. To himself, he is just Miles! If someone referred to him with more feminine language, he would be shocked but not totally weirded out, it depended on intent. He’s not open about this either bc he doesn’t see it as something important to share, but Ganke and Kenneth would be the first to know if he cared to tell. if he had a spidey social media acc he would have he/they in the pronouns section

playstation miles (questioning non-binary) is diff between the two games he’s mainly in, mostly because he figured out he was non-binary ages ago and was ready to come out, but so many things have happened in a short amount of time, which basically shoved him back into the closet. He was going to come out to his parents, but then his father died, and miles had this subconscious worry about now being the “man” of the house that his mother could also rely on so she wouldn’t have to grieve alone, and to prove that he could handle his own grief as well. his grief made him forget his own gender struggles for a time, and Roxxon, Phin’s death, Aaron’s reveal, it all stacked up and he was just “fine i’m not non-binary anymore i can’t deal with another huge thing!!” Now, in SM2, he was vaguely considering it again, because it felt so right before his father died, and things seem to be going okay lately, but you know how that went. Kraven capturing him also hurt the masculine parts of himself that he liked, so throw that into the fire. He only really feels he has time after the events of SM2, but is hesitant to come out or talk to anyone about it, because he just isn’t sure and doesn’t want to seem like he’s faking, so he just stews for now. It does bother him a lot and he experiences dysphoria in the “wish i didn’t have a human body” way. poor non-binary essential worker :(

e-42 miles (agender) is right after this instead of with movie miles because of how similar he is to playstation miles and comic miles. However, he is completely ignoring it to the point where he almost forgets it entirely, because he cares so little. His remaining family and fighting to make the world even slightly better is all he really cares about, so something like gender, including being regarded as a “son” and “nephew”, mean nothing, it’s about the bond rather than the label people give to it. He doesn’t feel this pressure of not feeling like he can tell his mom or uncle, it’s more of a “i might be non-binary but i have a job rn so i don’t really care about that” thing for him. However, he doesn’t like being referred to in any feminine way, and likes neutral/masculine language.

acau miles (complicated) is definitely not cis but autism + trauma recovery makes him view himself as “not human not animal just miles and spider-man!” so unlabeled spiderthing is where he’s at. Their pronouns got lost in the wash. It missed its gender orientation. Actually, Miles doesn’t use pronouns past 9pm: Get Fucked, Well-Meaning Citizen! Also, she doesn’t understand why some people get so worked up and invested with gender and pronouns, but he does sometimes say very rude and offensive things to Peter even before learning he’s trans because of what he’s heard growing up and what it knows that generally pisses men off. Matt and Aaron are working on making him less of a personified CoD lobby dw… it’s just gonna take a bit lol. doesn’t help that Peter returns the insults in full and encourages it against others sometimes

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

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🦇 The View From the Top Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What's the last risk you took OR have you ever gone hiking? ❓ 🦇 Emily Janssen prefers playing it safe, still working at the inn her grandmothers own while dreaming of a day she can fully support herself with her art. Ambitious Diana Devlin is ready to take over as CEO of her family’s hotel chain when her father retires. Everything is going to plan until an unexpected run-in with an alluring artist on a mountainside throws Diana off course, resulting in one of the hottest nights either she or Emily have ever experienced. When Diana's plan goes off the rails, leading her to start her own company and buy Emily's grandmother's beloved inn, neither can forget their memorable—and steamy—night together, even when they're forced to play it professional. Will the view from the top be worth the climb, or will they both have farther to fall?

💜 Rachel Lacey always develops such well-balanced sapphic ships and realistic female protagonists. Emily and Diana are no exception. While Emily has fallen into a comfort zone (unknowingly allowing fears to take lead), Diana pushes past fear, allowing her goal-oriented mindset to take lead. While Emily has built a found family for herself, despite the lack of blood relatives, Diana is surrounded by blood yet still feels alone. Lacey also excels at creating queer found families in her novels. The Adventurers group is sweet, supportive, and gives Lacey the opportunity to expand this single story into a series for each member of their queer rainbow. Diana's relationship with her nephew is heartwarming and precious (hopefully he gets his own story in the future). I especially adored the contrast between Diana's ambitious mindset and anxiety, proving that we never really know how much a person is struggling (especially when they're so good at hiding it). The fall festival chapters make this a comforting read for autumn--I could have lived in those chapters (with a mug full of cider) forever.

💙 Crescent Falls, Vermont seems like the perfect setting for a small-town romance, and it IS. Unfortunately, we don't get to fall into the setting through descriptive language as much as I'd hoped. Even when Emily is painting the rich scenery around her or Diana is immersing herself in this new, charming town, the prose fails to draw us in so we're walking alongside them. That lackluster word choice fails to create the emotional entanglements and tension Rachel Lacey excels at in Stars Collide. Given that the author was sick with COVID and took a break while writing this, it's understandable. That emotion-based writing usually builds and builds until the FMCs can't contain themselves; until NOT touching is torturous. Unfortunately, there's a long stretch where the two FMCs are apart, which causes the story to stall. There's some longing, yes, but it doesn't grow to the point of impatience. I'm also a little disappointed that the characters didn't see the solution to their long-distance relationship sooner, though I do agree it presents a perfect ending. Also, the epilogue gave me total Schitt's Creek vibes, which I LOVED for them!

🦇 Recommended for fans of Alexandria Bellefleur and Ashley Herring Blake.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🍁 Forced Proximity Small-Town Romance ⛰ Queer Community 🪴 Found Family 🩷 Sapphic Romance 🎨 Mental Health Rep ⛰ Lesbian & Bisexual FMCs 🍁 Third Act Breakup?

🦇 Major thanks to the author @rachelslacey and publisher for providing an ARC of this book. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #TheViewFromtheTop

💬 Quotes ❝ Somehow she managed to look as sweet as the flowers she painted while simultaneously being one of the sexiest women Diana had ever seen. ❞ ❝ I’m damn good at wish fulfillment. ❞ ❝ “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” ❞ ❝ She was trying so damn hard to keep her attraction under wraps, and if she got tipsy and stumbled around a darkened pumpkin patch with Emily… well, she’d probably either end up kissing her or having a panic attack. ❞ ❝ "I see you weren’t only admiring my flannel for sapphic reasons." ❞ ❝ "Take a risk. Aim big. Fuck fear. What do you say?” ❞ ❝ Maybe she’d stood in one place for so long, she’d become rooted to the ground. She was terrified of what might happen if she set herself free. ❞ ❝ "Yesterday, I wanted someone to pick me for once. I wanted you to pick me." ❞ ❝ "You’re the first person to show me that I can let my guard down, I can be vulnerable, and you won’t take advantage. You let me be myself and appreciate me for exactly who I am— flaws and all— and I… I didn’t know how much I needed that until I found it.” ❞