#THE BEAR META

[freedelusionshere]

Syd's Panic Attack

Happens when Carmy is not there. This is the last thing that flashes through her mind.

She is remembering when he told her in S2:

Just saying.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Neil Fak- The simple, innocent man Carmy once was.

Since Carmy is back home, he's outgrowing his naviety

What caught my attention is that Carmy and Fak are interested in flowers. However, Carmy loses hope and gets rid of the flowers in season 3. We can associate flowers with joy, innocence, love, and sentiments, which are all absent in Carmy's life in season 3. But he desires that innocence again something Fak carries. But there's both pros and cons to this way of life.

Fak is who Carmy would have become if he had stayed in Chicago and continued to be around Richie and Mikey. He would have immersed himself in the ballbreaker game, trying to win and ultimately losing his potential.

Did you notice that Fak isn't introduced to the story until Sydney is introduced? When season 1 begins, life is now too complicated for Carmy to understand, and a mind like Fak's can only narrate it simply.

In some way Fak is a version of Carmy. The innocent version.

Fak and Carmy - we're told they're best friends or butt buddies as Richie puts it.

Fak's adolescent mind - naivety thinks everyone is his best friend.

Since Carmy has gotten older, he realizes he carries more scars and wonders what a best friend is. He even questions if Mikey is his best friend.

As the series progresses, Carmy is coming to terms with the fact that relationships are complicated and not as simple as he initially thought. It's easy for him to resort to anger and violence like the Ballbreaker game when things become too complicated to understand. However, Carmy needs to mature in order to be the person his family needs. Being naive about relationships, people, and emotions won't help him.

I want to acknowledge @outmakingmoonshine for this outstanding, detailed meta on whether or not Syd and Carmy were planned. I re-read the script where Fak is introduced. In so many words, Carmy is saying that a sappy love story won't save the characters this time. Fak is raising the stakes, making winning at life a more significant risk. He gives Claire Carmy's number, adding more risk to the love story between Sydney and Carmy.

This subtext is a prediction- Sydney and Carmy's relationship is heading towards difficult feelings, and it becomes even more complex as they grow. Calling in Fak can hopefully help Carmy navigate, allowing him to somehow narrate an easier story than what's about to be told.

From Fak's innocent perspective, the game "Ball Breaker," known for its violence, is just too difficult because there's more to it. From Fak's perspective, the game or story (life) is too confusing to beat. Fak is the one who's raising plays to a dollar. A higher risk for a story about manhood and ball busting. Love.

Ballbreaker Game is gone. Now Fak is left to play Cupid.

Season 2 Ball breaker is over, and we're left with the game of who's in love with you—who could be dating who—with both Richie and Fak playing the game of cupid.

Fak sees it simply. Marcus and Sydney should hook up because they like each other. And carmy is in love with claire. Why shouldn't they get together?

He's not paying attention to syd and carmy's part. It's too difficult of a part of the game or story to navigate.

We need to take Fak's input on love with a grain of salt because he insists that Carmy is his best friend, just like everyone else.

It's just too difficult

Think of the upcoming sydcarmy scenes. 2x09 Carmy grows up a bit realizes that he has to be the guy his family expects him to be- the man where everyone can rely on him. This moment of growth has carmy wanting to fix the table or relationship with Sydney without faks help or naivety coming to mend it. The same as 3x04 when Sydney is ready to talk to Carmy about his consistent miscommunication Fak is pushed away.

Because this is a story about manhood, Carmy's growth involves shedding naivety, embracing complex emotions, and becoming the man his family needs.

But he is still wondering how he can find the balance to embrace his innocence and where he can stop and smell the roses while still growing up.

Tagging: @currymanganese @moodyeucalyptus @vacationship @whenmemorydies @brokenwinebox @fresaton

[alltheothercoolnamesaretake-blog]

Why I Think Carmy Will Quit The Bear In The End (and how this ties in with Sydney)

***WARNING-SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1 & 3***

I believe that the show is trying to subvert expectations on what will occur with Carmy and his character arc. When watching Season 1, you expect that he will eventually get over his traumas by lifting up this new restaurant. He will find new friends and eventually become a better version of himself by cooking there. However, I think that Carmy will end up walking away from The Bear by the end of the show. 

————————————————————————

REPLICATING OLD TRAUMAS

Although changing The Beef to The Bear seems like a fresh start for Carmy, he gradually makes it into his old abusive workplace throughout Season 3. Instead of lifting up The Beef, he is forcing it to become The Bear. Although this seems like a good change at first, this is actually him replicating the environment of his old abusive workplace. Except this time, he has become David. 

At first, his outbursts seem reasonable. They seem like accidents, something that could be explained by the actions of others. But over the seasons, the abuse ramps up more and more. Even though he has become friends with all of these people in the past through The Beef, these relationships are being eroded away because of his increasing obsession with control in Season 3. For example, he insists on checking every meal that goes out just like his boss did in the past. He continuously refuses to trust the people around him, and lashes out to everyone. 

I think this is because he views David unconsciously as a role model for what a boss should be. Even though he resented him, he unintentionally absorbed the idea that David’s abuse was what made him a better cook. This is why he was so shaken up in Season 3 when he confronts David on his abuse, because he actually agrees with him. 

Because of this toxic mindset, it has seeped into how he interacts with the people around him. He has failed to become better, because he has never been able to properly confront how he has been altered by his traumas. Carmy will not be able to improve under these circumstances, but instead become progressively worse as his past traumas influence how he is today. He needs space and time away from a kitchen in order to truly recognize the abuse that had been done to him. 

————————————————————————

2. THE BEAR IS MIKEY 

The Beef has always been deeply connected to Mikey in Carmy’s eyes. He wanted to work there because of Mikey, and always viewed it as a place where he could connect with his brother. But I theorize that The Bear may actually have become a proxy to Mikey to Carmy.

In Season 1, Episode 8, Carmy has a surreal dream sequence where he is hosting a cooking show. Within it, he starts to break down and starts to flash back into a memory of his brother. 

It then cuts to a clip of a bear locked in a cage on a bridge (which may reference back to Mikey’s death on the bridge). The clip is overlaid with a line from Mikey, which is “I’m right here.” 

This bear is one of the main inspirations behind the renaming of The Beef. It then flashes to the drawing of the restaurant, The Bear. 

Later, he finds the note and the money from Mikey. This is what encouraged him to renovate The Beef into a new restaurant. I think that this represents him feeling like he can find Mikey again through The Bear. Although this is a positive influence on him at first, this grows increasingly more negative throughout the seasons. By feeling like Mikey is there within the restaurant, his grief was able to be comforted a bit. But this causes his relationship to The Bear to become more and more codependent. He has not actually confronted his grief over Mikey yet, but instead uses The Bear to try and soothe the pain. This causes him to choose The Bear against all else, including his girlfriend Claire. 

Even though he has improved by going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, he is only passively listening to the people around him instead of sharing more about himself. Although he did reach a breakthrough in Season 1 by sharing with the group about Mikey, his development has stagnated over time because he uses The Bear as a way to muffle his pain. To truly get over his grief, he has to move away from The Bear and face it without the presence of Mikey standing over him.

————————————————————————

3. CARMY AND COOKING

In Season 3, Episode 1, that is where we see Carmy experience the most joy out of cooking. 

In the various apprenticeships that he goes through, he is free to experiment and do whatever he wants with it. Ultimately, I believe that Carmy will never thrive in a restaurant setting, even if he was the boss. He might have thought that his love of cooking was hampered because of his past abusive boss, but in reality it was because of the restaurant itself. The pressure of making a profit and earning recognition from reviews will destroy him in the end. This is mainly seen through his fixation on the flexibility of the menu in Season 3. In the first episode, he flashes back to what he enjoyed about cooking (which included experimentation and testing) which inspired him to make a new menu every day. He wants to recapture the joy that he felt in the past. However, this harms the restaurant by driving up the margins and causing chaos. The restaurant is not something that he enjoys, but instead an intense source of stress for him. Carmy indeed loves cooking, but needs to form a more healthy relationship to it. Just like how artists can get burnt out on monetizing their art, he is burnt out on monetizing his cooking skills. The restaurant will never be a good place for him to show his art, as it is a business that supports dozens of people. I think that ultimately, he will become Chef Terry, who retired from her restaurant because she couldn’t handle the stress anymore. 

————————————————————————

4. SYDNEY

Sydney will be the one who inherits The Bear and truly makes it great. She is the one who really keeps The Bear together throughout Season 3, and has the clearest vision. She represents a new way forward, one unencumbered by Carmy. Sydney has already been framed as his protege throughout the seasons. And as her mentor, Carmy is destined to leave so that Sydney can ultimately prove herself. Carmy has become more of an antagonist throughout the season, while Sydney is slowly replacing his role as a protagonist. I predict that Sydney will accept the offer from Adam, but come back once Carmy can’t take it anymore. Then, she will show once and for all that she is capable of running the restaurant by herself.  Only then can there be a future for Carmy and Sydney going forward.

Right now, their relationship is tied to the The Bear. They have not really interacted outside of it. Only then can they form a real relationship and really connect to one another. Right now, their relationship is too centered around the restaurant for them to really fall in love with one another.

(Marrying into the Berzatto family WOULD ALSO MAKE HER A BEAR. Therefore, this could allow for The Bear to stay within the hands of a BEAR)

[yannaryartside]

Syd is so avoidant about Carmy meeting her dad that I firmly believe they either will meet on accident

Or Emmanuel is gonna show up at the Bear, ask for Carmy and Carmy is gonna be like:

“I been wanting to meet you for a while sir, your daughter…”

“Yeah we need to talk young man…”

Carmy:

The whole crew of the bear:

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The salt of life

Disclaimer: This makes no sense, it's just a list of Sydcarmy musings and analogies but I wanted to share it anyway.

In culinary metaphors

Syd is affecting Carmy like TABLE salt affects mixes in bakery. She enhances Carmy’s flavor, but does not change it. That’s not always a good thing. It all depends on finding the right balance and timing and ensuring the ingredients are correctly mixed because otherwise, the whole thing is ruined.

Salt is dangerous. As a matter of fact, it can kill you.

Salt is basically sodium. Sodium is poison when incorrectly used, but it also makes the ❤️ beat when its levels are balanced out with the potassium in our blood.

In medical terms

Syd is the heart.

Carmy is the circulatory system that would dry up and die unless the heart irrigates it.

The Bear, their place, is the blood. The family.

What makes the heart beat is electricity.

They generate this power. This spark. And it can get out of control, like all sparks, of course.

That’s the chemistry they create when they are together → Beating.

None make sense without the other, BECAUSE THEY FORM A SYSTEM, is you separate the veins and arteries from the heart and the blood, they are simply lifeless. Isolated they don't make much sense.

THEY ARE A SYSTEM. THE MAIN SYSTEM.

How that system works

She lit the spark in him and gave him a heart when he was used to being a robot who only worked and smoked the competition.

Sydney could definitely work without Carmy, but at this point, it wouldn't make sense for her. She would feel lifeless, even if she wins 100 stars elsewhere. Her place is The Bear, the restaurant and the chef. Because that's what she chose with her heart.

Carmy has worked and thrived without her and wouldn't do it again unless it's out of spite, just to show her.

However, I don't think it'll come to that like it once did with Michael, or his parents, he has learned that lesson the hard way by now.

Carmy works as a SYSTEM, as part of something bigger than him, if he becomes isolated, S3 Carmy takes the wheel. He doesn't work like that, he crashes and burns.

But during most of S3 the "spark" Syd ignited in him, the one that got the blood flowing again, gave him a heart, a purpose, where there was only a hurt man who felt so much pain that couldn't even express it and thus, sublimated it in the form of a work addiction and functional depression, and therefore couldn't overcome it either, got out of control.

The SYSTEM was broken, because the elements that formed it attempted to work separately. There was no synergy, just energy that was out of balance. Not completely, but mostly.

Back to the salt

I have already gone over the analogy between Carmy and onions, acid, etc. Most in the fandom have, but here's a reminder of what I think about that:

So, the result of mixing culinary purpose salt (table salt) with acid ingredients is a WEAKER ACID.

We can all agree on Carmy being "intense", right?

Well, when in contact with her he can calibrate himself better.

I emphasize "contact" because when they are OUT OF TOUCH, the effect is almost instantaneous and painfully obvious in Carmy, which has always been, and in S3 it started to become more apparent in her too, as you can see in these previous entries:

They belong together to balance each other out, when there's this distance between them, that we saw in S3, THEY ARE IMBALANCED.

Salt is the balancer ingredient in any recipe. It enhances what needs to be enhanced and neutralizes what needs to be neutralized if used correctly

But salt on its own is no good, it needs to work as part of a recipe, a dish, A SYSTEM.

She's the salt, his salt, the one that brought flavor back to his life, and that's why his story re-started the day she came into his life. Carmy and all that he represents, the restaurant he inherited, the family in it, the family business that Cicero keeps funding, the extended family now Syd found at The Bear, is the system. He is a system that needs to be balanced and sometimes neutralized. Salt is the main ingredient for him, because he lacks of it, he's acid.

Bonus track: Le Chatelier's principle

I have mentioned this before but it bears repeating→ When her dishes were out of balance it was always because of the "acid" ingredient, which means she's outta balance too. Carmy doesn't balance her, he doesn't have that effect on her. In chemistry, acids tend to dissolve salt BUT they can create NEW SALTS too (Le Chatelier's principle). She's fighting this because she knows that once she fully lets Carmy in, it's gonna be the end of the world as she knows it. She won't be able to fight it much longer after this breaking point ↓

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[strawberryscare]

can’t stop thinking abt the only time we see carmy wear a The Beef tshirt is when he cooks dinner for claire. you know, the piece of clothing he refused for all of season 1 (when their restaurant was Actually called that) and asked everyone else to switch OUT of (to white shirts and blue aprons).

something something claire fundamentally does not allow carmy to grow as a person + represents carmy’s backsliding into his past something

[glitterslag]

needed to clear out my drafts so

[mitocamdria]

That dish he served to Sydney was figuratively and literally his heart and he’s already given it to Sydney before he even met her…they are destined, they are SOULMATES.

[chefkids]

Claire is the physical manifestation of Carmy’s avoidance.

Before he got locked in the fridge Carmy chose to prioritize Sydney over Claire. But at Friends & Family night he ended up picking Claire over Sydney because he was being pressured by Richie and his avoidance kicked in again. This resurfaced his NYC Chef trauma, because Claire was a distraction to getting Sydney her star and the general success of The Bear. Then he tried to over compensate by turning into NYC chef all of a sudden and freaking out at Sydney. Because he wants to get Sydney a star but he’s also terrified of failing and having the NYC Chef “win” and wants to succeed out of spite for how he made him feel.

He left Sydney at Kasama to be with Claire because it was the easier choice for him than to put himself out there and be vulnerable with Sydney. Then he left her to go to that party with Claire and ended up having the Fishes Christmas panic attack. He left Sydney to cook for Claire, then ended up with the alleyway panic attack about Claire and Fishes. He left Syd at service for Claire and ended up with the NYC Chef panic attack then locked himself in the fridge and he is mainly concerned with Sydney and the staff through flashbacks. Using Claire as a distraction from Sydney always comes with a cost. And it always brings up the root cause of his avoidance which is his mother and the NYC Chef.

Carmy promised Sydney that he would not leave her alone after the fridge. And while he physically has not left her alone to be with Claire. He never mentally left Claire. 

Sydney suggested he should make a call after he got out of the fridge, and he thought she was referring to Claire instead of Richie, who is his actual 'family' and who he really hurt with his words. He apologized but in the most generic way possible and Richie knew he was just doing it to get it out of the way, which is why they're still fighting. He's still using Claire to avoid confronting his emotions for people like Richie and Sydney, who he knows he has hurt but who he really cares about. Sydney didn't give Carmy "permission" to call Claire then. He needed Sydney's push in his relationship just to call Claire his girlfriend. He thinks not talking to Claire equals prioritizing Sydney, but in turn he is still prioritizing Claire only just in his head, not physically, because he is still using Claire as an avoidance tool for his feelings for Sydney, his lack of apology for Richie, and even his lack of confrontation with his mother. 

In Season 3 we see him happy and panic free in Claire flashbacks. Because she is in a romanticized version of his past. We know he can be an unreliable narrator and see things that aren't fully there or twist things, and his flashbacks to his relationship with Claire is not the full picture. He's not thinking about all the times that being with her led to a panic attack after. He is using her to be avoidant of Sydney and what she means to him and what doing all of this for Sydney means.

He can't really answer Nat or Sydney when they ask “Why are you doing this?” because he’s still in denial about what he is really feeling for Sydney. But he can answer that he feels guilt whenever someone brings up Claire because that is easier to address.

Carmy is an avoidant. In Season 1 he oscillated between avoiding dealing with his actual grief about Mikey by just focusing on the restaurant and avoiding dealing with what was growing between him and Sydney by using the restaurant and his grief for Mikey, until it blew up in his face. He physically avoided the restaurant itself Season 2 because he needed to avoid his feelings for Sydney, but still projected his feelings for her onto Claire by doing everything Sydney enjoys with Claire until it blew up in his face with a panic attack about the two of them.

Then in Season 3 he couldn't physically avoid Sydney, so he mentally avoided her by trying to reframe his relationship with Claire as something joyful and carefree and peaceful. When we all know that the reality of it was something else. He tells the Fak's he can't apologize because it's too hard. He's avoiding apologizing to Claire for many other reasons too. Cause if he does he'll have to address the fact that Claire said she loved him, which I really don't think he loves her back like that. He'll have to face the real version of Claire and his relationship with her; which was not all sunshine and butterflies. It was filled with panic attacks and anxiety. So he'd rather live in a romanticized version of her in his head, missing her and filling his thoughts with her instead of Sydney, than face what was actually going on.

Sydney is still his muse. He slipped into thinking about Sydney that night by making a dish about her and by inviting her to go to Ever with him. He made that dish that was blatantly inspired by her standing right in front of him. He has been avoiding talking to her, and he clearly wanted to say more, but didn't know how or what to say.

Once Sydney left he started hearing the music from his time in the fridge, he threw the dish out and immediately started to spiral. He stared at the bar cart with party items for Richie's Tuesday Surprise. aka the Amusement and Enjoyment. Which is what he was trying to find with Sydney that day he had planned an inspirational food tour with her, but ended up ditching her for Claire at Kasama. And what he told himself he no longer needed in order to focus on getting Sydney a star.

He stands outside the fridge then Strange Currencies starts playing very quietly under the fridge music, "I don't know why you're mean to me When I call on the telephone." He then goes inside the fridge and "I don't know what you mean to me. And I don't know what you mean to me But I want to turn you on, turn you up, figure you out I wanna take you on" plays a little bit louder, which is basically what his deal with Sydney is right now. He doesn't know what she really means to him. He knows she calms him down and inspires him, but he doesn't ever say what that means to him out loud. Then it grows louder with "These words, "You will be mine""

Then he reached for his phone to try and call Claire. Because he's trying to drown out the song with Claire. The first time we heard it was when he first saw Claire by the fridge and once he rejected her, aka when he chose Sydney, the song got louder. Then when he wanted to take Claire to the restaurant, aka where Sydney was, after the party it played again. He knew it was for sure about Sydney from the panic attack, because with Claire it was backwards, she was his past, but with Sydney it was moving forward.

When he's debating pressing call to Claire, the fridge music overpowers Strange Currencies, because Claire is what keeps him frozen in the past and "haunted" by it. He practices saying sorry as the songs grow louder trying to drown each other out, and we see a clip of present day Claire working and Strange Currencies stops playing.

Then a flash of her in The Bear sitting on the garde manger aka cold prep, which was the same clip we saw of her when he was thinking about her when he was locked in the fridge, Strange Currencies plays again over it. He is still stuck on it even though she's moving on and living her life. Strange Currencies grows louder because he keeps trying to convince himself the song is for Claire and reverts back to the past when he thought it was for her that night he took her to see the kitchen.

Claire's I really love you voicemail plays. Then it cuts to who else but Sydney. I really love you. aka I really love *you*. Sydney. What he is actually thinking but avoiding. What stops Carmy is fearful avoidance, because Claire Sydney is so great she scares the shit out of him.

[shamixlour]

The Bear - 3x03

The way he looks at Syd here. I found it extremely interesting and back then I understood it a certain way but now that I have the whole context, meaning I have finished watching season 3...well I see it in a totally different light. Okay this might be a bit long one but here me out. 

At first, I thought Carmy was mad. They were in the rush of service and some plates took longer than necessary to be ready and so he was in his full-asshole Chef mode, running expo in a way that was cold and stressing. I thought he was simply angry because Sydney went to help Tina with the pasta cooking/plating. 

I still think he is mad but with the events in the following episodes, I believe it is way more than that, I think it is much deeper than I expected it to be and I might be reading into this too much but I made another meta and I feel like I cannot speak about this scene without bringing the Carmy scene at Ever in 3x10. 

Now, I think Carmy is jealous. I believe he is impressed. He is mad. He is so fucking envious. He is scared, petrified even. Carmy is in awe and quite astonished. 

That is how I see it now.

The thing is Sydney is portrayed as being impatient, and sure she might have shown some signs of being so regarding certain aspects but when it comes to cooking, when it comes to leading a team, when it comes to being the Chef of cuisine, when it is about running her kitchen, her cooks, she is patient. 

Sydney is patient and calm and pedagogue. She is willing to repeat, to assist and to help. She does not shout, she does not squeeze you even more into the panic of the kitchen even if the situation pleads her to do so. Sydney is loving, caring and fulfilling. She brings back your confidence up, she highlights your strengths, she shows that she trusts you. Sydney is willing to wait, repeat and assist you without doing it all for you even under the humongous pressure of time and peak service. She provides the tools, shows you how to use them in the most efficient way and lets you do it, her hand ready to chime in if needed, if you ask for it. Essentialy, she's a humonguous talented force that whispers you that you can do it. You can do it, Tina. You can do it, Marcus. You can do it.

We saw that during season 1. We saw that again during season 2. She is special, she is something. We saw that once more during season 3, more precisely with Tina, taking the seconds necessary to show her multiple times how to properly cook the pasta and plate it correctly even under the pressure of service. She sets aside her work and helps, guiding Tina with utmost care. She was annoyed too. She was stressed. It was in the middle of service, it delayed everything but Sydney still helped. 

And what did Carmy do in those specific instances? 

He shouted. He was cold, destroying Tina’s confidence, spitting deprecating comments. He did not help. He did not love. He did not care. Sure, he’s under pressure but Sydney is too and yet Sydney stopped and went to Tina, she understood her distress, she felt her silent cry of help and crossed the kitchen to her, steadying Tina again, calmly, without harsh words, without being a total prick even if the situation was nerve-wracking. 

Carmy saw that. He looked at that interaction, watched Sydney be a teacher, a pedagogue, he saw Sydney be the Chef he is not. The Chef he probably never will be. He gazed at something that he does not know how to do, at something he did not even think possible in a kitchen. 

He looked at it and was mad, impressed, envious and solemn. He looked at Sydney as if she is special, as if this is special and something. Something that was worth taking a few seconds to stop, to see and take in. The few seconds he pointedly declared they did not have to Tina.

That is something.

[donetbhlmao]

every time i rewatch the bear i think about how sydney (often) actively resists opening up emotionally to/getting closer to carmy - more under the cut

moments that immediately come to mind:

when carm asks syd about her dad in s2 e2: she interrupts him and brings the convo back to food.

when carmy asks syd about her new place and how her dad is feeling about the move in s3: i don't remember the actual episode but she interrupts him again to talk about work. what was the reason!!!

when carmy initially asks about syd's mom in s2: she has shown that talking about her mom is difficult (see: her convo with marcus at her place when she made him a beautiful meal), so this could be ambiguous but i think still worth mentioning.

WHEN CARMY TELLS HER SHE LOOKS NICE IN S3: she immediately takes off her bow???? i havent been able to stop thinking about this beat because why does she do that. does she not want to be perceived by him that way? does she feel guilty because she just got back from meeting with another chef for another position (thereby potentially dissolving her and carmy's partnership)? WHY WHY WHY (also she's so real for this because i think it's at least partially meant to signal that she's uncomfortable with his attention if he's not going to accompany it with meaningful communication). yes she favors scarves in the kitchen and she was getting ready for work but i think there's something else going on and have been rotating this scene in my head like it's a rotisserie chicken.

the fact that she half-lied about why she came to work at the bear in the first place, and, relatedly, that he made the best meal she ever had: maybe carm caught onto this one but she doesn't ever openly tell him that she's a fan of his work (and that he made the best meal she ever had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i say half-lied because she almost immediately tells him that she knows who he is. so.

i've been thinking a lot about syd's feelings for carmy and how she likely fears emotional intimacy with him. it's a stark contrast to how easily she opens up to marcus or asks richie questions about his daughter or even mentors/becomes friends with tina.

carmy is deeply interested in syd as a person and SHOWS it - in fact the few times in s3 that he's civil to her is when they are not working in the stresses of the kitchen and he's asking her about her life.

i can't think of a time where syd asks CARMY about his family (remember - she asks richie about michael), and when he opens up (without prompting from her!!!) about michael being an addict to her she lightens the mood with a joke, and when he opens up about how donna was a nightmare and he's trying to reclaim cannolis, all she says is "whoa." (btw i actually love sydney because she's so emotionally stunted like that's my girl <3)

she will open up about sheridan road, and her fear of failure (so inherent to who she is and her motivations in the show!), but not so much about HERself and her personal life. it's fascinating.

an exception to this is when syd tells carmy to call richie and apologize - even then it's not syd "asking" per se, but it is her taking a step and knowing what's best for carmy (and the kitchen) in that moment.

i think this is meant to indicate how carmy is different from everyone else in syd's life - almost like he doesn't "fit" into any of the other boxes she has for people.

now, i personally read this as romantic. there's something BIG blocking sydney from accepting that, though, and i think it's that carmy is so tied to her passion, her profession, her LIFE'S WORK, and she will not, cannot, fuck that up. we all talk about claire being an obstacle to a potential romantic connection between the two - and she is - but i truly think sydney's unwillingness to confront her interest in carmy is a bigger, more substantial hurdle (though not at all impossible to overcome!)

[freedelusionshere]

Parentification

Thinking about Syd taking care of people and how she looks after Emmanuel and how she's probably been doing that since her mother passed at a very young age. That moment when he calls her in Legacy and leaves her a message: “Remember when the radiator was doing that click-click-click? Who did you call?" And how it mirrors the story about her mother having to get out of the car and change the tire herself.

Syd constantly takes care of others but doesn't really open up her full self. We see Syd taking care of or looking after so many people. Like, she's the one who goes with Marcus to help him sort through his mom's stuff after her passing.

Emmanuel's constant prying about her "business partner" and "partnership agreement", when he's basically asking her what's going on with her and Carmy in a roundabout way? She obviously doesn't want him to fully know her thoughts about Carmy? That's why she leases the apartment and then shows him after, because she knows he'll try to talk her out of it.

And, of course, this moment:

[currymanganese]

"Bold strategy cotton, let's see if it pays off!"

[aliensupastar]

mikey berzatto really just had an innate urge to believe in the people around him and their ability to do great things

[yannaryartside]

No thoughts, just Luca looking at Sydney

The second gif, Jesus. The way he touches his mouth…

Like, girl…

[ambeauty]

Was it peaceful when she asked somebody else for his number after he intentionally gave her the wrong one? Was it peaceful when she interrupted his day of work to ask him to help her move some furniture? Was it peaceful the way she tried to joke about his brother’s suicide when he clearly hasn’t grieved properly? Was it peaceful when she brought him to a party full of people from high school when they are grown ass adults and she knows he didn’t have friends like that in high school? Was it peaceful when she left her best friend grieving a break up for a man? Was it peaceful when she begged the chef to cook for her? Was it peaceful when he kicked everybody out who was working towards his dream just so he could be alone with her? Was it peaceful when he had a panic attack after sleeping with her? Was it peaceful when she stormed the back of the kitchen after friends and family when he was having a meltdown? Was it peaceful when she made the entire meltdown about herself? Was it peaceful for her to be talking shit about him to anybody that would listen? Was it peaceful for her to not ask is he even ok? Was it peaceful for her favorite day to be Monday? Was it peaceful? Was it?

Or is she just speaking in a low tone of voice in an almost dream like quality? Is her existence to him only peaceful in his mind? Don’t let soft voices and pretty faces fool you. They are full of fallacies. Like sirens.

Thank you to my pookie @sydneys-adamu for letting me scream everytime I get annoyed 🥴