#even though he doesnt know anything about it and never expected to have kids

[rhalgrs]

.

[kroosluvr]

royal trio tennis au sketches and notes and stuff YAYYY YAY

EDIT ALSO I HOPE EVEYRONE LIKES THE SIGNATURES I CAME UP FOR THEM IN 2 SECONDS ON THE LAST SLIDE

(for clarification there r actually 2 persona tennis aus housed in my head

1) this one where royal trio are pro players striving to become intl stars

2) like a persona q3 thing where everyone plays team tennis @ their respective clubs/schools and its fun and awesome)

more notes under the cut

these r gonna be stream of consciousness bear w me ill keep it short bc imlazy

goro is born into the sport bc shido is like an intl tennis superstar but as with canon he dgaf about goro at all. his mom is dead too. etc. he probably never sees his dad except on tv and hes probably tossed around various boarding schools/tennis camps/etc so goro strives to become even BETTER of a player than his dad so 1) shido looks at him and acknowledges him and respects him 2) he can SURPASS him. thats his entire goal. anyway he prob shoulders huge expectations like oh thats ur dad so u must be a good player right and then those expectations he inflcits on himself.

sumire picks up tennis maybe around age 9-10 or so, when before that she did rhythmic gymnastics with kasumi. but even from an early age she was discontented by how Good kasumi was, almost intrinsically, and she had a gut feeling that made her switch tracks to tennis - also a sort of independent sport where SHE HERSELF can succeed on the court, without needing to depend on others. yet she still feels pressured by kasumi's success which gets in her way a lot. she feels determined to carve a name for herself bc THIS is the path she chose, so she better fucking make it count. those expectations on herself weigh heavily as well. in addition i think her parents literally dont gaf like if she becomes an intl superstar (not maliciously they just genuinely want sumire to be happy and dont demand success of her) but she kinda is like "wow they dont expect anything of me because im bad at it? then ill just have to become AMAZING so theyll have to be astounded" kinda thing

meanwhile akira was always a sporty/athletic kid, he doesnt have much attn from his parents so hes just doing whatever. soccer baseball basketball the works. but he picks up tennis at maybe age 13 and hes GOOD. so he immediately gets like scouted and Trained and he like improves in record time. hes real chill and relaxed about it though because he never Needed tennis the way sumire and goro do. hes just out here for fun and games literally. if he wins he wins - but the thing is, akira kurusu hates losing. thats the thing that propels him to the top.

shujin academy is still the same private school we know but they also house a tennis academy known as the shujin tennis academy yeah yeahyaeeayhah and they just train the coolest of players and the royal trio r their pride and joy etc

cont'd here

[deleteddewewted]

Long Distance relationship HC W/ König

MDNI

W: NSFW, Sub! König, Dom! Reader, Long Distance Relationship, Fluff, Angst, Orgasm Denial, Teasing, Cute Babygirl König, Bestfriend Elias (He's his wingman and hypeman), Cum Eating (He tastes himself)

He's such a sweetheart. He sends you pictures of strays he finds or of himself doing the most mundane things when he's at the base.

Doesnt matter how far into the relationship you're at, he's still kinda insecure about his face and sending you pictures that show his face.

He has his friend Elias though, so the guy gives him pep talks to boost his confidence.

Sometimes he does it too well cause you'll be getting a whole 12 pics of him in a span of 5 minutes all different angles and levels of motion blur.

Emoji user so expect kissy faces and hearts at the end of messages.

He texts you at ungodly hours but he'll stop if you ask him to.

He will stay up late in order to send you a good morning text.

He sometimes holds onto his pillow and pretends it's you.

You both have met a few times in person but even then it didn't feel like enough for him.

He wanted to envelop you in his arms, keep you flush against his body, and just lay there forever.

(Such a romantic, I know.)

He wishes he didn't need to leave your side but he also knows asking you to move with him wherever he goes is risky and inconsiderate of you.

He'll never make you choose so instead he promised you he'll be the one asking for a transfer once he feels ready/is forced into a less demanding position.

He just wants to live with you in the end.

He dreams of little kids running around in the living room while he embraces you from behind and lays his head on top of your own.

He can feel himself blush every time he dreams of you both finally being together and having a family.

He calls you sometimes, maybe even facetime you if he feels confident and does things with you.

He eats with you on facetime, gets himself ready for the day, changes clothes, takes a shower, cooks, anything really.

He just wants to pretend that you're both together and do theses mundane things together.

NSFW

He's so horny and it's somewhat pathetic.

He whimpers every time he jerks off and it's cause he's so sensitive. The tip of his cock is always this deep red and it looks painful.

He likes to tease himself by dragging his fingers over his length and over the veins and thinking it's you doing this to him instead of himself.

He doesn't know if cumming at a picture of you on his phone is creepy or not so he never asks you to send him anything to help him out.

If you do send him nudes or videos, maybe even audio, of yourself masturbating just know that he's going to be running to the community showers or finding some storage closet to get off in.

Because he's so pent up he needs to be quiet when he gets off. He's sharing a room with other people and sometimes the bases he's staying at doesn't provide individual barracks.

Fucks his pillows or makes a makeshift pocket pussy that he can fuck into like a dog.

In the rare case, he gets his own private barracks, he's calling you and you're both going to have some cute phone sex.

Cute phonesex? How?

Well, he's a talker and a whiny guy so he's throwing out praises like your some kind of divine being.

"Bit- Bitte! L- let me cum meine liebe~" He almost screamed into the phone but he'll be ok. He won't go against anything you say or do.

He wants to please you no matter if it means he'll have to go the next 48 hours or week hard and uncomfortable.

When he does get to cum he's thanking you profusely.

"D-anke, dan-ke, danke~!" Breathing heavy and light-headed he still finds it in himself to be grateful for you helping him relieve some of the tension he's been having.

What a good boy.

He stays on the line for a while longer just to tell you just how much he loves you and can't wait to meet up again.

He wants to hold you and take care of you and its painful to watch you take care of yourself after he got off.

He feels like it's unfair but he promises you, even though it's not necessary, that he'll devote the entire time to taking care of your needs.

Don't skip out on the praise either. He likes being told he's your good boy.

Give him kisses too. The feeling of your lips on his face is reassuring.

But, while you're both apart, just tell him that you love him and can't wait to be with him in person.

That's all the motivation he needs to make sure to keep his injuries to a minimum.

[theninth09]

theo and liam both constantly trying to prove themselves and expecting punishment.

theos inferiority complex. "because im not a real werewolf?" obviously asked with disdain and insecurity. his voice trembling when he says "i-im not a failure" when the dread doctors classify him as such. his goal of becoming an alpha not because he actually wants power, but because he wants to be stop feeling helpless. he wants to be in control, he wants to stop having to fear that he'll get killed in case he IS a failure. and in s6 he keeps trying to prove himself, to the pack liam this time. liam keeps lashing out (bc hes in denial and telling himself he shouldnt trust or like theo) and theo barely ever reacts, just keeps softly looking at him and never rises to the bait. he wants to be useful, he wants to belong. he wants to be close to liam.

ive already briefly talked about theos relationship with pain in a different post, but just to reiterate: his non-stop provoking words so that people (malia, stiles, liam) punch him, laughing when his bones break, saying "maybe it only responds to pain" about the captured ghostrider and when he said "physical pain becomes manageable." yeah. he definitely got tortured by the dread doctors as punishment. and he probably thinks he deserved it.

liams fear of getting punished/thinking he deserves to be punished. the way he asks "are you mad at me?" with the smallest voice and the saddest look on his face. as if hes used to getting harsh reactions (liams bio dad that we dont know anything about?? yeah.) and in this instance, it wasnt even his fault. his IED wasnt the reason he got into a fight with someone, he didnt even hurt anyone accidentally. liam is the one who got hurt and still, he asks his dad if hes mad, expecting punishment. when hes down in the well and hurts himself punching the wall, he thinks back to his dad telling him that when kids get angry, they either hurt others or themselves. how many times has liam hurt himself during or after an outburst? punishing himself for being the way that he is, for hurting others when he doesnt want to.

liam taking the beating from gabe & nolan is another example of this. thinking hes at fault, that he deserved to get beaten as punishment for bretts and loris death.

in s5b when scott tells him that he hasnt actually apologized yet and liam explains that he feels like he has to do more. that he has to save his life in order to repay him for the damage. and thats probably how most of liams life has been. constantly doing favors, offering help and working himself to the bone trying to atone for what he thinks hes done wrong. the idea of verbally apologizing bringing him shame and guilt, so he just tries to make it better with his actions. even though its not his fault, even though he doesnt have control over it. he just wants to be good. he wants to belong.

[mitsuristoleme]

I just saw your requests are open so I might as well jump in BECAUSE SKDNDNSN ok buttttt what about sukuna + his tummy having a mind of its own BEFORE you were their wife, like, you know nothing about this man but everytime you come in sigh you hear the most direct cat calling you've come across only to see a man with an expression of "God kill me now" so you don't know what's happening but it makes you really curious so you just... Provoke him? Like, use revealing clothing, put on an expensive perfume, etc. AAAH I Just love that hc of his stomach mouth having a mind of its own istg aaaa

a/n: ok so im gonna write this in a modern au because lets be real heian era Sukuna did NOT care about dating/courting

formatted into a bullet point headcannon post because im having way too much fun with this and nothing is connected in a cohesive form (pls forgive me for that but my brain is going ham with this concept)

cw: gn!reader, cursing, sexual content, bestie!gojo, Sukuna’s tummy mouth is a menace but wbk

imagine you’re a teacher at jujutsu high and a special grade sorcerer (because i enjoy feeling strong and this is a little self indulgent) (yall can choose if you want to be gojo’s classmate or nanami’s it doesn’t really impact anything)

Sukuna gets reincarnated without a vessel (dont ask me how it just happens ok) and to everyone’s surprise, he volunteers to be an instructor at jujutsu high

he says its to “make these pathetic kids somewhat decent sorcerers so they dont ruin the name of jujutsu”

for whatever reason, the higher ups assign him a spot among the teachers at the school

imagine your shock when this 1000 year old 7 foot tall motherfucker shows in the middle of your class to introduce himself as the new teacher

you’d heard about his whole situation but you didn’t expect him to show up in the middle of a lesson

you attempt to shoo him away but he doesn’t even move (i mean what did you expect really?) and you’re forced to end class early

weirdly enough he keeps a hand clamped over his stomach the entire exchange?? you chalk it down to a stomach ache or something (that night you do wonder if curses, or er, the king of curses, even get physical pains)

ok so before i get into the whole thing lemme just-

in my head, the tummy mouth has the humour of a middle school boy and the self control of the dog from ‘absolutely anything’

so yk. its a mess.

you see him the next day in the staff room

hes wearing a starched white shirt (it accommodates all his four arms and you question how he got one made in a single day) and a pair of fitted slacks, looking WAY too good for a curse

you realise you’ve been staring through the glass window if the staff room and finally enter

only to be greeted by a LOUD wolf whistle followed by a “OOOOH HEY HOT THANG” in the deepest, raspiest, most demonic ass voice you’ve ever heard

sukuna looks like he wants to kill himself.

he gets up and leaves the room immediately

you hear the a faint “NO GO BACK AND FLIRT WITH THEM YOU WIMP ASS HOE” in the same demonic voice as he stalks away

and you’re standing there

wondering what the actual fuck just happened

did you just experience harassment in your workplace?? but his mouth never even moved???

Gojo enters the staff room right after Sukuna vanishes and you IMMEDIATELY fill him in on whatever happened in hopes that he would have any explanation

hes confused, curious and amused all the same time

this doesnt mean hes of any help though

no, the piece if shit just laughs at you and goes off to terrorise the first years take class

before leaving he very unhelpfully reminds you that you have to share classes with Sukuna today

you enter the classroom a couple minutes before the students (you literally have 4 students and one of them is a panda god knows what the point of 2 teachers for such a small class is) and find Sukuna already in the room, leaning back on the chair, his legs resting on the table, eyes closed

once again

looking WAY too fine

just as you internally celebrate that nothing weird happened THE SAME OLD DEMONIC VOICE booms a “DAMN BABY YOU LOOK FINE, CMON LEMME TAKE YA HOME”

“wha- I- Eh??? I’m sorry what the fuhck?!?” you sputter, eyes wide

Sukuna has leaped up from his chair, a mixture of embarrassment and murderous rage on his face

he hisses a “shut the fuck up” in the vague direction of his abdomen before turning to you and apologising

“i am so sorry,” he says sheepishly “i owe you an explanation at the very least after two incidents”

“OI DONT APOLOGISE ASK THEM OUT THEY’RE HOT AND I KNOW YOU THINK SO TOO”

“I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING SEW YOU SHUT IF YOU DONT STAY FUCKING QUIET”

and once again. you’re standing there. shook.

Sukuna turns to you again with an expression that clearly says ‘Gods please strike me down right now’ and asks if you know about him having multiple body parts

you’ve heard of the legends and stories: four eyes, four arms and mouths he can will to appear wherever he wants, so you nod

“Well it just so happens that the mouth on my stomach is sentient, and extremely vulgar. Although i’m sure you noticed the latter.”

his voice is a wonderful contrast to that of his tummy mouth

deep, melodic and smooth

he just got even more attractive.

fuck.

you realise you haven’t given him a response and nod dumbly muttering out a quick “uh-huh”

thankfully the students enter at that moment saving you from any awkwardness

what you have recently come to identify as Sukuna’s tummy mouth stays blissfully quiet throughout the class and shockingly enough the silence on the belly front continues throughout the day as you discuss lesson plans with your ridiculously hot coworker

that night as you’re getting ready for bed, you remember the exchange between Sukuna and his appendage (specifically the part about Sukuna thinking you’re hot) and a mischievous idea forms in your brain (hey gojo satoru’s influence was bound to kick in at some point)

the next day you leave the top few buttons of your work shirt undone and put on some of the pheromone perfume you got as a gag gift in an (what you presume to be potentially successful) effort to rile Sukuna up (lets be real you think hes pretty damn hot too)

clap yourself on the back for that one bestie because the second you enter the staff room, Sukuna’s eyes nearly bulge out of his skull and the tummy mouth starts BARKING

and drooling apparently (how do you know? well maybe because the front of sukuna’s pristine white dress shirt is now sopping wet)

“WIFE THEM UP I SWEAR TO-“

the sound of a coffee cup shattering interrupts whatever was gonna come after that

you’re met with Nanami’s incredibly unimpressed gaze

without saying anything he leaves the room, muttering, “its too early for whatever the fuck this is”

well.

that happened.

yall get together eventually

gojo tells you “i knew you wanted to fuck him”

before you can come up with any sort of response, your boyfriend’s stomach pipes in with a “OH HE DEFINITELY WANTED TO FUCK THEM”

this is your life now.

good luck.

a/n: HI IM HERE TOO THIS TIME!! i left the ‘getting together part kinda up to interpretation because im shit at writing the ‘getting together’ arcs but we’re gonna pretend like it was because i want you to be able to go wild with whatever you want

please dont copy or repost my work without my permission

comments and reblogs are appreciated

check out my masterlist

dividers by @/vanillekiss

[sunny-ssunset]

Honest south park dating headcanons🔥💯

Im writing so much bc i literally have nothing else to do so enjoy 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

Anyways honest headcanons about how i think the main 4 would act in a relationship with you (all aged up) mostly gender neutral but there is like mentions of boobies :)

TW Mentions of s*x, dr*gs and v*mit

Stan

•Honestly you wouldnt have to put much effort in to get with him

•Mother fuckers desprate for love

•Hes actually a bit of a wreck once you date him

•Crying because he is scared you'll leave him

•You are defo a rebound

•To be fair he'd start to fall for you though

•And because of that he'd throw up all over you

•He'd break up with you if wendy said she missed him

•In his eyes theres always someone better

•And im sorry but he moves on fast

•If wendy breaks up with him again though

•Expect a drunk call at 3 am saying how much he misses you and how he fucked up and if you can get back together

•Its your choice if you get back with him though lmao

Kyle

•He is extremely awkward

•Kyle has high ass standards so when he sees someone that meets those standards he'll fall hard

•This man cannot talk to people he likes

•If he doesnt like you he is the rizziest rizzler ever

•And 0 rizz if he does lmao

•He'd start SWEATING

•He would be stumpted for words

•Then when you leave he'd blame someone else for 'fucking up his chance'

•If however you did start dating him (god knows how)

•He'll probably dump you over the smallest thing

•If you vape or smoke though its a big no no

•And like you would argue over the smallest thing

•He'd rant and rant and rant and rant about something cartman did that day

•Probably would put work or school before you

•He forgets your his s/o sometimes

•He'll treat you like a therapist

•However he is really fucking good in bed 😩😏

Cartman

•This man would always be looking out for no. 1

•Genuinely would not give a fuck about you until you show any value to him

•Kyle has a s/o? DAMN GUESS WHO ALSO HAS ONE NOW

•Always trying to prove he is better than everyone else (especially kyle)

•He listens to alpha male podcasts

•Andrew tate supporter

•To be honest despite him also being plus sized

•He wont date someone who is also plus sized

•Its because andrew tate said he can do better

•He is delusional and doesnt believe you when you say he is fat

•Its apparently just baby fat

•He would let you in on his schemes and let you tag along but would also throw you under the bus and say it was all your idea if he gets caught

•Manipulative as fuck

•Would get pissy if you said no to anything he asks you

•He'd leave you because "He can do better"

Kenny

•He fucking stinks

•Its either he'll stink of zaza or just plain stinkyness

•He like never showers even when he had the opportunity to

•He'll have a huge crush on you and you'll find out through other kids

•Cartman probably spread it around

•He'll always be staring at your boobs or ass

•Says word like "GYATT DAMN" "WHAT THE SIGMA"

•He doesnt have tiktok only youtube shorts

•Has a shitty cracked iphone 6 in rose gold with no case

•He'll be very loyal like he would never get with someone else

•However always staring at someone elses boobs or ass if not yours

•Will compare you to 'attractive celebrities'

•Hes done many many dr*gs

•Him and his mates probably made a list of all the hottest people in the school (god knows where you are on it)

•He has no rizz at all because hes extremely shy

•Probably only got with you bc of how big your gyatt was

•Hes always really h*rny

[n3ptoonz]

How about a part 2 of the ‘sugardaddy!Johnny Cage’ where we ACTUALLY, GENUINELY get pregnant:33??

part 2 in blurb form ☝🏾🙂‍↕️ if you are new, fic here

pregnant!reader blurb with sugardaddy!johnny cage

no warnings, fluff, johnny being in love and having baby fever like a mf, obviously the kid is named cassie we knew this 😎

johnny soon-to-be-father cage, there is nobody he knows that DOESNT know. he demanded to his agents that he get to stay with you through the entire process. he even proposed to you the day he came back from set. he wanted to commit to you as quickly as possible and give your beloved soon-to-be-daughter the best life she could ever have.

if you're fine with being on social media, oh, when WONT you be? his posts have gone from bizarre sightings and photo shoots to "look at my gorgeous wife!" and wife memes reposted all over his story. but if not, he won't. it would bum him out a little bit, but he understands. he will be already setting up the pregnancy photo shoot for you though months in advance though, ya gotta give him that.

he has dad and mom merch coming in packages by the day. "future dad" and "future mom" shirts to "girl dad" hoodies. you name it. and don't even get me started on how he treats you. by the gods, you'd think you married a prince. 5 star quality service, and you literally have to pry him off of you when you want to do things yourself. he doesn't want you lifting a finger, but damn, a quick trip to the bathroom is a one-person job!

when you're finally in labor, expect him to be in the know about every little thing regarding you and the baby's health. he's freaking the hell out, and shoot, you think he's the one in labor with how tight he's holding your hand. it's adorable. he literally practiced being able to withstand your grip in case you needed to when this day came. and through all those hours and a successful birth, out came your precious daughter, cassandra cage. cassie for short. (he's been talking about this name nearly the entire pregnancy).

when i say tear flow, i mean it. he cried more than you did! he was sitting next to you all bug eyed and lovesick. being in the presence of the mother of his child and his baby girl had him ready to drop everything. while you slept he would almost never put her down, even letting her fall asleep in his arms multiple times. he didn't care if his arms got tired. your rest was more important than anything else in the world.

oh and it takes you verbally telling him two months later that it's okay for him to go back to work. like he would refuse to leave your side. but you did promise to take lots of pictures and said he can facetime every time he had a break. expect his earthrealm buddies to check up on you every once in a while too. liu kang the most. (you have a giant pile of freshly picked fruits from raiden and lao so cassie became accustomed to organic fruit very quickly and won't eat any other kind)

[sualne]

Sorry if you're already working on this but with Luffy in Croc dad what's his hobby?? Like he's the biggest ball of energy and I think if wasn't fighting wild animals as a kid he would vibrate into another dimension from lack of stimulation. Does he draw and develop his art skills, has he taken up music or is he invested with the void century with Robin? Croc wants to keep him inside and safe so what did he think would be best to entertain him or does he buy a new thing every week that Luffy says he suddenly wants to do. Yes he looks at books but is that it. Also sorry if you answered this before and I've missed waht you said, I am pretty sure I've seen all your comics on this but I haven't seen all your ask answering questions.

i hadn't gotten these questions and im so glad you ask!! :D

so! luffy doesn't have one specific hobby and croc does end up giving him whatever he wants when he suddenly gets a new obsession, one of the reason he's so excited with finding the jewelry box and getting a dagger is because it's finally something new! after that he gets really into rings and knives until it gets bored of it and switch to something else again.

about him and learning about the void century with robin i actually got a comic later for that so i won't say anything here!

im going to make this a list and explain how it goes, under read more:

Fighting: this luffy doesn't know how to fight, but he still love the concept! he gets really excited hearing stories of fights, duels, martial arts and all the rest! In practice though, since he's been so sheltered and only ever saw one real fight that ended up with people being killed in front of him as a kid, if (haha) he were to witness another real fight he wouldn't be as giddy about it as when he hears stories. he does also learn the tiniest bit of kenpo from bonclay!

Dancing: luffy in canon loves dancing (and partying), here too! he doesn't know/master any specific styles but likes to drag people into dancing with him, if no one is around he'll grab some of the smaller bananawani instead.

Singing: he's still very bad at it.

Music: croc noticed how he'd taps on thing and tried to get him to learn some percussion, unfortunately for him, luffy doesn't care about music theory and just does whatever makes him happy. he also love loud noises and croc has to find a way to stop him from making a racket at any hours of the day, it gets worse when luffy loses some of his hearing and needs to make everything even louder. eventually he gets bored of it too.

Cooking: him and croc cooks together pretty often, if no one is there to supervise him luffy will ignore recipes and common sense, making all kind of abominations. it's a miracle he never set the kitchen on fire.

Bugs: he loves them! he collect them! alive. croc is horrified one day when he finds out baby luffy has been letting some food to rot so he could observes flies and larvae going through their little bug lives cycle. later croc gives him those pinned dead bugs collection boxes thinking luffy will like it, he doesnt.

Board&Cards Games: he mostly has to play them by himself, he doesn't like being alone so he'll often ends up playing it "with" the banawanis. after he loses a few too many times against the banawanis and can't get croc to join in for the millionth time he gives up on them. even when robin joins baroques works he still expect her to be too busy to play with him and doesn't ask (she would have accepted if he had asked).

Art&Craft: he tries a bit of everything, doing it his own way meaning most of it is kind of hideous or about to fall apart, canon luffy is completely fine with that, au luffy though, he's having ton of fun at first but when he gets old enough to see that his dad cant quite fake his enthusiasm or interest towards his disastrous creations he gets frustrated and stops for a while. later, robin finds an old drawing of his and thinks its cute so he start doodling a little again for her.

basically, he struggles keeping a hobby, some like fighting, dancing, bugs and staring at pictures in geography books he keeps through his life but mostly, he's very lonely and bored out of his mind, he's depressed, that's not something that can be helped for as long as he's isolated.

when robin becomes a part of his life everything gets better for him! she spends time with him, read stories for him, helps him get out more often, they even meet bonclay and for a few years he's genuinely happy.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i dont know how to articulate this correctly but... sometimes i think about how saiki is so mentally disconnected and isolated from other people, and his powers make it feel impossible to understand them, esp because he hasnt had any faith in humanity since he was a kid (hes also so autistic but shh he probably doesnt know yet)

and so he truly doesnt understand the nuances and complexity of love+friendship+relationships etc... so imagine how confused he could get during times where his relationships get deeper/more complicated

examples ?? (warning for very brief sa+abuse+suicidal thoughts mention in the second one) -

accidentally making one of his friends mad and hearing their thoughts, which are purely from frustration and anger in the moment, about hating and not wanting to be around him.. makes him think they genuinely dont want to be as friend at all anymore, so ONE argument makes him think hes ruined his friendship with them forever and he doesnt think to just apologize, immediately shutting down and just "going away" instead because he thinks thats actually what they want

not understanding why people feel sympathy for him when he talks about tragic things in/about his life, especially when he even dulls it down as to not reveal his powers, (ie: his brother literally trying to murder, humiliate, and borderline sa him OR having one or multiple bullying incidents in elementary school that caused him to lose all his friends and change schools OR saying that the only reason he decidedly hasnt offed himself yet is cuz itd make his mom sad) and mentioning those things a little too casually, then thinking people are trying to pity him and telling the people who are just trying to help to shut the fuck up ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

^a specific but not quite as angsty one, offhandedly mentioning once that he had a big crush on a guy from another class but he helped set them up with someone else even though it upset him, because he just wanted to see him happy and he never had a chance anyway (bro was def straight too) and his friends being like ...hey thats really sad im sorry you felt like that :(( and him being like ?? whats sad about that. hes happy, and its not like im completely devastated or anything. shut the fuck up.

teruhashi getting over her crush on him and no longer seeking him out as often, and he's immediately upset and confused because now he thinks that she ONLY cared about him when she thought she was going to get something more than friendship from it so he doesnt believe she ever saw him as a true friend..

(similar to the first one, slightly different situation) getting into an argument with one of the friends he sees every single day and still expecting them to at least BE there the next day, and when they arent because theyre avoiding him, his first thought isnt "i should seek them out and apologize" its "wow it was so easy for them to just let go of me, i clearly have formed a dependency and feel like i need them more than they need me. especially now that i know they dont feel the same, i should sever that attachment."

SO YEAH anyway, he genuinely does not believe that he has anyone he can trust enough to actually talk through this stuff with+doesn't even think its that bad so he just sits and tries to feel numb at the bottom of the ocean or on the moon haha what a guy...

[rebo-chan]

Sorry y'all this one's gonna be a long one lol fun analysis/theorizing/headcanoning whatever the fuck this is under the cut :)

So, lately I've been really thinking about Lambo and Tsuna's relationship, Lambo's connection to Vongola, and Lambo's spot as the Lightning Guardian. I know as a fandom, we tend to disregard Lambo because he has like.. two fights in the whole series or wish that someone else was made the Lightning Guardian because that boy is Literally Five. And I won't act like it wouldn't have been cool to see another character as Lightning Guardian (My Haru Guardian fans rise up where are you) but I think what Amanos done here is really fun too from an analysis perspective.

To start with, Tsuna's family is not really a..traditional Mafia family or even a traditional Vongola family either. Let's look at this here, he's got his Two Best Friends(TM), his crush's big brother, the leader of the Disciplinary Committee at his school, a criminal, a half dead girl, and the aforementioned five year old as his guardians. This is FAR from what's likely expected out of the Vongola family, even when you date it back to Primo AT LEAST PRIMO HAD PRINCES, PRIESTS, SAMURAIS as his guardians. (Though he gets away with having One Best Friend (TM) as his guardian.) Yet somehow, their family makes it work!! They survive the Mafia world, multiple times throughout the series and when it's not working they get stronger as a unit and they fight for each other and make it out together. And I think that's the beauty of their specific family.

So then you have Lambo, who Tsuna would do anything for just to avoid Lambo having to experience a fraction of the shit they go through. And Tsuna actually SUCCEEDS at this, he doesn't normally succeed when it comes to being avoidant of Mafia stuff but this was something throughout the series that he was so genuinely adamant against. He only let Lambo fight when he truly had to and even then he very minimally let the Mafia world wrap its greedy paws around Lambo. Kokuyo arc, Tsuna didn't even sort of kind of a little bit consider taking Lambo with them (which would later help keep Kyoko and Haru safe), Varia arc, knowing that this would disqualify him, Tsuna decided he could not allow Lambo to keep fighting.

Future Arc, Tsuna kept Lambo out of the fight as much as he could, allowing the non-fighters to take care of him and I-pin. Shimon Arc, Tsuna felt real regret at the prospect that he allowed Lambo to come.

(And Arco arc where Lambo was hardly present at either, which I'd like to imagine that if Lambo was involved in Arco arc then Tsuna may have just absolutely fucking died)

Tsuna to Lambo is not his guardian (Frankly, he doesn't view any of his guardians as such, they are his friends, his pride, his comrades, and those he has traded blows with and knows they can be trusted.) Lambo to Tsuna is his little brother. This five year old was sent on an assassination attempt that was absolutely in no circumstance meant to actually succeed and the Bovinos know that. To send Lambo to assassinate the strongest hitman was a death mission. So, Tsuna took this child in (or rather this child stuck around bc his Mom makes banger meals) and immediately Tsuna assumes the role of his brother. Lambo and Tsuna are the closest out of all the kids. (Ofc Tsuna loves I-pin and fuuta too, but I think it's safe to say Lambo is his dumb little brother)

Now, I don't think that Tsuna is ever going to see Lambo as anything but his little brother. I actually theorize that the way TYL Lambo is the way he is because Tsuna never really got out of the habit of babying him. He's calmed down since he was a kid and developed a more nonchalant personality with the occasional tantrum because you can't tell me Tsuna DOESNT STILL view TYL Lambo as a non-combatant. When Tsunas 15, he looks at 5 year old Lambo and goes no thanks that boy is never touching a weapon in his life. When Tsunas is 25, he sees 15 year Lambo and goes that is STILL a child he is never touching a weapon in his life. And yes he's completely unaware of the hypocrisy in my head.

This is a spoiled little brother no one can tell me otherwise.

So we know Tsuna just sees him as his kid brother and not a real guardian. But then you have Lambo's feelings about the whole matter. We know that Lambo doesn't really consider Tsuna a boss but as his big brother, but I don't think that changes a lot for Lambo. While fighting is scary for Lambo, he still desires to follow alongside Tsuna and his friends. He doesn't want to be left behind and makes Tsuna promise him he'll take him wherever he goes. He sees Tsuna freaking out about him being a child in a battlefield and he goes, "No you don't understand, I want to be there."

And that? That right there is what fucks me up after everything. Lambo as a concept for a Lightning Guardian feels really unique because of this. He's the youngest one. He's always going to chase after the others, trying to keep up with them, to walk alongside them. One day, he wants to catch up and be considered a rightful Guardian like the others. And that is so... Tsuna and him would be batting heads over this because I cannot see Tsuna relenting on Lambo staying out of the battle. I cannot see Tsuna ever feeling like Lambo's ready. Not because he thinks Lambo is weak, but because Lambo's his baby brother and Tsuna needs him more away from the battle or else he can't focus.

While Tsuna doesn't react outwardly in this frame, I do think it's not a coincidence that he could focus on fighting the battle and not be "impatient" as Reborn put it, the moment he saw Gokudera and Hibari on the battlefield. He could focus easier knowing his friends were running around saving Lambo and co.

Okay, so you have the Big brother who wants to protect his little brother from seeing the same stuff he does, from fighting the same battles he does, and wants him to grow up as a regular kid (a right which he had been robbed off the moment a certain hitman showed up at his door). Then you have the little brother who wants wholeheartedly to be there, desires to catch up to his big brother and know the world that his big brother knows.

How does this difference in value get addressed? well it doesn't because Lambo is still 5 and Shounen jump are cowards for ending Amanos series when they did <3 B U T we have this.

We all know this scene for when we rewatched Reborn for the first and went "..wait.." because that was some actually sweet foreshadowing from Amano. Okay, so. We have a Lambo who finally did it. Finally is someone worthy of being called the Vongola Lightning Guardian. And Tsuna and co are implied to have just been... Gone. All of Tsuna's efforts to raise this kid in a regular life are ripped away because something happens to HIM, not Lambo. And from Lambo's perspective, he's caught up finally but the person he was following isn't around anymore. He didn't think he'd see him again. I think it's safe to assume that this scene either implies that something happens to Tsuna in his 30s (since we know he wasn't actually dead TYL) OR 20yl Lambo is from a parallel world where Byakuran had actually won and actually took Tsunas life.

And I think that's some real meat to bite into for these characters. A little brother who will lose his big brother if he doesn't do something, get stronger in time. A big brother who won't let him join the battle because he's afraid of losing HIS little brother. A Vongola Lightning Guardian who wants to be a shield for his Boss, and a Boss won't let him be a shield.

And that? That's a good concept for a Vongola Lightning Guardian.

Thank you for reading this far if you did :] this is a bit of a ramble but I was thinking about it and I felt it nice to share. I hope maybe I shared some of my brain worms with you <3

[notreallymisha]

My random thoughts abt Percy Jackson as someone who only watched the show and knows bits and pieces according to bestie's info dumping

(spoilers??????)

• Percy is chronically confused and he never stops being confused about everything when he gets older and I love him for that

• I'm already aware that Luke is going to end up being horrible in some way to Percy because of the reaction of the whole fandom to non-book readers liking Luke so much and all i know he will do something malicious out of jealousy? As I understand hed been ignored by gods for a long time while Percy got claimed in couple days. NO idea what possibly will he do

• I'm team Grover, he can do nothing wrong and I know for a fact he will be Percy's friend throughout everything even if he wont always be in the centre of action, I also hope hes more than just a sideckick or protector for demigods and has his own stuff to do

• Annabeth is a badass with a baggage and it seems like shes not always appreciated enough

• Traumatized as fuck kids😢

• Apparently Poseidon is not that bad even though i expected him to be a complete piece of shit

• Who IS a piece of shit is apparently Athena?

• Apparently Percy is extremely powerful but he never fully gives into this potential to protect his friends(?) or to not be dangerous (?) Hes just real kind and loyal

• Sally Jackson will at some point find her a better man (i think?)

• Something tells me Percabeth will be less of a slowburn in the show compared to the books, just bcus??

• I saw that fanart or older Percy and Annabeth and they got white streaks in the hair? Bestie told me its plot related and refused to tell me why and I legit thought its gray hairs from stress😭 maybe some kind of sacrifice that affects their physical body i honestly have no idea

• There gonna be a bunch of other kids that will be friends and or have a completely separate story and theyre all trios???? There are at least two different trios

• Theres Nico whos a kid of Hades who doesnt get a break from weird ppl cus hes gay and hes also apparently very sad guy and later on he meets his future bf Will Solace whos a healer and Apollos kid and hes a sunshine? At least looks like one but i font know anything about his personality

•Also I assume that Annabeth is friend with Nico? but not sure

• When Percy finds out that Nico used to have a crush on him hes as always, chronically confused (tm)

[crushedsweets]

Any Jeff hcs?? (Your art is absolutely amazing)

i make him evil. ok jk but also im serious. im mostly just gonna cover his backstory in my au, rather than his current part in it.

cw for brief mentions of animal abuse, bullying, the usual. AGAIN THIS IS FOR MY AU !! also tysm :3..

liu is about 4-6 years older than jeff. they lived somewhere in the midwest until jeff was about 10.

they were both raised by incredibly good parents and had a very strong support system, always visiting their grandparents, big christmas every year, parents always go to open house/parent-teacher conferences, etc. tried getting their kids into sports, would go to every game, literally just the stereotypical great parent. not even a secret "ooo behind closed doors they r actually abusive...!" thing theyre literally just good.

jeff was always a bit more on the aggressive side, something they especially noticed when he was 5 and could not be left alone with a single fucking pet. he'd yank at and shake anything small enough to pick up, and punch and kick anything too big to pick up. every family pet was scared of him.

even at school, he was a bully - it started as typical grade school shit, putting gum in girls hairs, stealing peoples belongings, pushing kids off the play structures. he targeted girls especially. he's been warned, suspended, expelled - but his dad got a job offer in the east coast that they couldnt really ignore

he was 12 when he started harassing a girl, following her around the playground, calling her a slut, yanking her hair, spitting on her, etc - and eventually, her brother and his friends stepped in.

thiiis is where i wanted to put randy and his friends in. theyre older kids, around 14 and still more on the mean side, but they didn't just randomly target jeff for fun bc he's "the new kid". just like jeff harassed that girl, they began harassing him - but of course with the strength of 3 teenage boys, rather than an 12 yr old. liu would interfere when he could, but he was still a student and began working his first job by this point.

jeff got into physical fights with them for weeks, but he was quick to turn it into something bloody and brought a pocket knife. this time the fight occurred in front of jeffs house, when his parents were at work, and liu ended up running out to make them cut it out. he tried to grab the knife out of jeffs hands, he tried to stop his brother, but jeff was serious about what he wanted - and he wanted to fucking stab randy

so he did, right in the stomach. it was nothing fatal.

liu took the fall, being 16 and terrified of what could happen to jeff if he landed himself in juvenile hall - the other 3 boys were content with this, knowing it meant jeff really didn't have anyone to defend him by this point. thinking it would fuck with jeff even more . . BUT JEFFS A LITTLE SHIT he doesnt fucking careee . something about "i never asked him to take the blame that shits on him" or whatnot.

but obv once randy recovered fully it got worse. it went from schoolyard level harassment to borderline stalking, robbing him, holding him down so randy could fucking stomp on him, so on and so forth.

and eventually the bleach happened, and the fire happened, and it didn't really have anything special or involve a birthday party or whatever . it was just another insane fucking attack on jeff, although randy and them didn't exactly expect the fire to spread so fucking quickly - they just splashed some gas at his feet, threw a match, though it would scare him and maybe fuck up his pants. really did NOT think that shit through

jeff recovered in the hospital, and the trio decided to leave him alone. they were little shits who took it too far, but they werent trying to do all that. jeff didnt snitch, he didnt want them to get put away . he wanted to keep going, obviously

things settled down for a while. jeff was waiting and waiting and waiting. his parents were mortified, they rarely spoke to him now. required family dinners at the dining table turned to just his parents eating together, liu in juvie and jeff in his room. jeff began getting violent towards his parents as well, especially his mom - he started spiraling after the fire, especially since the trio weren't bothering him anymore and it was driving him nuts. he would do freaky shit, showing up at their houses now, shattering their windows, killing their pets. they'd come and beat his ass, and he'd do it again. nobody wanted to get their parents involved by this point, they all did too much shit - but jeff was getting UNBEARABLE

jeff eventually was around 15 or so, liu was out of juvie and 19 and in community college bc he couldnt get into any of the universities he was dreaming about.

liu wasnt nice to jeff anymore. he wasn't "hardened" by his experience in juvie or anything, but whatever he saw in jeff was NOT his little brother anymore - if jeff spoke to him, he'd ignore him. if jeff got too close, he'd shove him off. if jeff slapped their mother, liu would punch him.

liu thinks it was bound to happen. he misses his little brother, even when he was a mean little kid - but he always knew there was something realy, really fucking wrong with jeff, and when he woke up to jeff on top of him, stabbing into him , he knew it was inevitable.

liu survived, the only one in his family to do so. he wondered what he could've done to stop it, especially as other kids began showing up in the news. he wonders if he shouldve just let jeff go to juvie. he's kinda shocked at the fucked up ass police sketches that pop up, he didn't really remember seeing that damn smile when jeff was on him

jeff continues fucking shit up and is a piece of shit all around

this is already pretty long so if anyone wants a less "backstory" version of headcanons and more current stuff just lmk ;3

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Random thought. Don't remember if I've seen this asked. What kind of relationship do FT!King and Pepper have after all is said and done? Like, before Ash passes or even around the time of Horde of Mews? I assume it isn't the best considering everything but also feels like King may try to make amends down the line?

So King and Pepper do eventually make amends and it is - thankfully- before Ash's death

But King will never see her as his daughter and Pepper never sees him as her father. Even though, they are.

Instead, King takes up the weirdly supportive uncle role that the neighbor next door has. And Pepper finds that she can go to him when shit gets too intense.

She doesnt go to him to be coddled or babied, she doesnt go expecting a fight nor does she expect to get love and adoration.

It's like going to a trusted friend. Someone that likes and loves you to an extent but not enough to be considered close friends.

She'll ask him questions, and King will answer them honestly.

"Do you regret creating me?"

"I don't like the circumstances that led to your birth, but i dont regret anything i did."

"If you made me, and you weren't evil, would you have kept me?"

"No, i dont think i would have."

And its not *harsh* It's not twisted or rude, it's just the reality of the fact. And its something Pepper accepts with grace.

A part of Pepper is being able to jump and see timelines. You see her do it often enough that even she confuses the events of how things flow. Was she always an adult since the moment she could jump, was she a kid, did her jumoing disrupt things?

In turn She get's worried, she doesnt *want* to mess things up or misplace things, she wants to help but at times that disrupts things that should never happen.

And her family will give her the song and dance of You did what you had to do, everything will be alright. And Yes, while they do tell her she fucked up, their soft on her, they dont want to be too hard. It's a thing she really does resent.

King on the other hand, if she were to go to him and tell him those things, he's very one toned about it, and ehile he never yells or raises his voice, he does force her to face the harsh reality of it all.

"You fucked up bad,"

"I wasn't trying to-"

"It's not about trying or not, You messed up the moment you decided to interfer, you KNOW you shouldnt be doing that and now you gotta jump back to another point to fix it later. You can't think with your heart all the time Pepper, It may work for Ash and the others, but you have a much bigger role than any of them can even fathom."

"I know, I just- i didn't see another way."

"Maybe not, But regardless, what you did led to a disaster. Sometimes we can't avoid fucking up, but that doesnt mean we get to brush it under and say 'I didn't mean to'. I didn't mean to cause so much pain and destruction either but that doesnt erase shit. I will spend my entire life trying to fix what i fucked up, and now, you gotta face that head on too. Don't regret what you did because it makes you feel bad, look at the shit you did and regret that it had to come to that, but never that you did it."

[95-6qrsk2rx9uq42069nnnnnjthewolf]

jaytim Childhood friends beginnings of a concept

Fandom stalker/exacerbated parental neglect tim background where tim, a year into running around gotham at night photographing bats, starts splitting his nights helping this kid jay he met boost tires and a few other grifts that the guy comes up with, mostly being the lookout. They met after tim watched an interaction between a dealer and jay escalate (jay refusing to be a runner), and he intervened by dropping a brick from the fire escape he was tucked away on, giving jay an opening to bolt, and each felt compelled to check in on each other after they both get clear. Jason is equal parts impressed and disdainful of tim’s hobby, mostly because batman does about jackshit for jason’s neck of the woods but also tim’s basically getting one up on the guy and thats badass, not to mention his sneakiness is impressive. Jason’s not about to judge a kid for having to clear out of their place at night although he knows precious little about tim’s homelife despite his reassurance that its safe and stable. This is a very bold claim from a 10 year old sneaking out 2-3 times a week with similar levels of respect and consideration for adults as jason (which is to say, minimal). But tim’s useful as hell and a quick learner, jason’s pretty sure this is his first real friend since even before he was on the streets, and tim never takes his full cut and even then only on the bigger payouts (tim’s saving up for a space heater for his room and supplements the weekly grocery delivery which was developed for an 8 year old and falls a little short for a roof running 10 year old (this does not stop him from bringing one or two shelf stable things for jay each week)). They even make plans to meet at the bowery’s closest public library on some saturdays, which was already a pretty common haunt for jason but now its also hanging out with a friend and just being a kid for a few hours. This is pretty novel for them both. Its a good year.

Jason prefers not to do anything much bigger than pickpocketing without tim as backup these days but once in a blue moon tim will give him a heads up that he wont be around as much for a week or two (parents in town). And one of those weeks, well, theres the goddamn batmobile. Unattended. Those tires are gonna go for a pretty penny and he’s not gonna pass that up. Plus it’ll get a laugh out of tim. Turns out, the whole ninja paparazzi thing was kickstarted by robin and he’s a lot more game for making fun of batman than the sidekick, especially now that robin apparently fucked off to bludhaven a few months ago with a whole new name and look. Though tim still insists that batmans a good guy and if jason is ever really in trouble, he’s pointed out a few key rooftops for him to flag the bat down for help. Thats in the back of his mind when the batmobile tire heist goes very wrong and very sideways. Tim’s seen this man in action; he trusts him. Jason’s /probably/ not about to be murdered when he’s being told that he’s going somewhere safe, to a foster guardian that cares. No clue how he’s supposed to tell tim though, they only ever really had days that they expected to cross paths, no actual methods of contact.

Meanwhile, the next time Tim comes around crime alley and the place jason is squatting has visibly not been touched for a while? That’s disquieting. He’s a known entity around these parts now,  the working girls call him jay’s shadow, but nobody’s seen jason in days and the women are gently reminding him that street kids are regularly on the move, trying to find safer, better opportunities. But jason wouldn’t leave without telling tim, right? And more importantly, all his shit’s still in his place. Tim can play at being a detective all he wants, sleuthing out batman’s patrol routes, but he doesnt have the first clue for where to start figuring out what happened to jason. When a second night in a row shows no sign of him, tim decides to do what he’s been hoping he never would have to and waves batman down, lays the whole situation out with a photo of jason and everything. Mumbled lie that hes just been hoping batman would swing by eventually. Through it all batman has a weirdly bashful silence about him and by the time tim manages to wrestle his frantic babbling down, he’s being handed a phone number and the promise that jason is safe with somebody that batman trusts.

A phone call to wayne manor the next day lays it all out for tim, and well. This is great for jason! Tim, though, never ever wanted to be on batman’s radar and now his best friend is living under the man’s roof.

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Vriska Serket

vriska

"Vriscourse"

this is her tournament

She fits all four categories. Also it's Vriska

people have been arguing about whether shes pure evil or an innocent baby for like 14 years straight. nobody can fathom that shes NEITHER. like yes she is a product of her environment and the reason she killed all those people was because her spider mother was forcing her to and also due to her position in society she was encouraged to act that way and was literally a 13 yr old child just doing what was expected of her by the world around her so it isnt her fault for being in the role she was raised to be in when she didnt know there was any other option. that being said shes also just kind of a dick and put stairs in a paralysed guys house even though she knew that was a cruel thing to do cus she thought it was funny. like shes a child thats a product of her environment and she did a lot of awful things but a lot of it can be explained by the fact that she had a neglectful literal giant spider as a mother and that she was also being manipulated by an omniscient cue ball god to hurt her friends. but that doesnt EXCUSE how she acted and many of the things she did were just cruel and unnecessary like how she treated tavros. so in conclusion she is NOT an evil irredeemable bitch because she’s literally a preteen when she does all of the bad stuff + when she was messaging john she finally was away from alternian society and could finally reflect on how killing made her feel and how she realised she didnt enjoy doing it even though it was what was expected of her. HOWEVER she also isnt a sweet angel because it doesnt EXCUSE her actions it just explains them, she still did cruel shit and hurt people and acted selfishly etc… putting vriska in a box is a huge disservice to her as a character because shes like one of the most important characters in the story because of the way she’s constantly trying to steal the spotlight and insert herself into the story etc but instead of people doing any kind of interesting analysis on one of the most complex characters in the story they instead argue for a decade and a half about whether or not she did anything wrong… which goes against the whole point of her role in the story

c'mon. it's vriska.

Gon Freecss

It's ALWAYS the beef between people saying he's actually a monster and the ones saying "he's just a kid and he never did anything wrong in his entire life". The first ones won't accept the fact that Gon is kind with his loved ones. That he's hurt and did bad things when he was hurt. That he cares for his friends. That he is naive and really acts as a child. That the monster he is inside isn't ALL that he is – only a part of what he is. That a big part of how he acts was caused by the fact all of the adults in his life never saw the red flags and pushed him to keep acting like that because "haha quirky kid". The second ones won't accept the fact that Gon is selfish – it's literally said multiple times in the canon that he is but you know, selfish is an "actually bad flaw that only bad people have so he can't be". They won't accept the fact that his naivety is the thing that makes him morally grey because he can't tell the difference between good or bad. That he doesn't really care for anyone except him and his friends / family. That he was literally called a monster, canonically. That he would destroy the world and then himself with no hesitation because he's hurt. That him being young is, yes, a point, but that doesn't mean he's "just a little angel uwu". That's simply NOT how his character is written. The worst problem I think, is that none of these people seems to acknowledge the fact Gon is supposed to represent the yin part of yin and yang (while his best friend, Killua, represents the yang). Gon is supposed to be "in light there is darkness". How the light can actually be monstruous, maybe more than darkness, but it is still light. While Killua is supposed to be "in darkness there is light" and how darkness can be pure, maybe more than light, but it's still darkness – they seem to get the yang part more for some reasons ? The yin and yang analogy is my favorite trope ever and it's so sad to see this fandom watering it down because they won't accept the fact Gon is morally grey.

[sporksaber]

I have never really liked sasusaku, but arranged marriage sasusaku au. Writing as the thought comes to mind so they may not be endgame.

So sakura comes from The merchant clan. The harunos are super important to the village and its really important not to piss them off. At 6 years old sakura starts insisting she wants to be a ninja and her grandmother, the clan matriarch, agrees that she can join the academy and become a ninja if she does well.

The uchiha meanwhile, are approaching the point of no return with their political instability. And then they hear that the granddaughter of the Haruno head is now training as a ninja and they see the perfect way to reestablish a foothold in the villages power structure and a buffer between them and danzo.

So 6 year old sakura ends up at dinner at the uchihas to meet sasuke. She hates him. He's a spoinled brat who keeps hiding behind his mom and loudly whining about anything and everything, and little sakura was very mature for her age. She has a few nice moments pf interacting with itachi about the academy before sasuke realizes his brother's attention isnt on him and gets between them, but all the other adults dismiss her completely and dont even properly speak to her.

Sakura decides she hates all of them.

The arrangement goes through.

(Mikoto is not happy about it, her baby is only 6. But she figures that it's not set in stone since a proper engagement cant happen until theyre 16 and a traditional marriage has to wait until 19. The haruno also dont fully expect it to go that far and are fully aware that the uchiha are trying to gain advantage in the village, but theyre ready to milk this for all its worth. Itachi thinks it's adorable. The uchiha elders dont care how it ends up as long as they get what they want. Danzo is furious and the third is staying out of it (because he sucks) while the other clans are biding their time until they see how this is going to go.)

Sakura being engaged(to be engaged) to sasuke does change her dynamic at the academy a bit. She does have other kids who mess with her at first, but its shut down by sasuke and some other aolder uchiha. This pisses sakura off because while it wasnt a battle she wanted to fight, that didnt mean he coild fight it for her. She befriends ino on accident and encourages her friends crush on sasuke because she does Not want him. His fiance hating him kind of puts a damper on ino's crush though.

The engagement is enough to keep the massacre from happening.

Sasuke doesnt like sakura in the way that he doesnt realize he kind of likes her. At some point her getting mad at him makes his heart flutter. Also, uchiha are possessive by nature and he sees her as his (the reason why he stepped in when other kids were making fun of her).

The other uchiha at the academy think its the funniest shit in the world even though they would never let that kind of slight towards the main family slip in any way. If you find sakura having one of her onesided arguments with sasuke because he was following her or something you can also find several older uchiha kids making aggressive eye contact with eachother, mentally daring eachother to slip up so they can laugh without worrying about someone snitching. (There is a rare occasion where shisui, who often volunteers as the uchiha-haruno liason, is found actually laughing his ass off at their antics. The other uchiha still dont laugh though, because being blackmailed by shisui is way worse than getting chewed out by an elder.)

Their engagement is known among the clans and the civilian politicians, but its not exactly common knowledge. Not everyone knows. Naruto doesnt know, and he still jas a massive crush on sakura.

So team 7's genin dynamic now becomes sakura hates sasuke who likes sakura but more than that just knows theyre going to be together forever because that's how its always been, sasuke hates naruto because hes an idiot who has a massive crush on sakura, who also hates him because he's an idiot who has a massive crush on her. And naruto sees sasuke as his ultimate rival (just in ninja, he straight up does not realize that sasuke likes sakura. He thinks theyre just wierd friends the way her and ino are kind of wierd.).

Sakura and sasuke are able to quietly sit next to eachother without issue by the time theyre graduating, theyre frequently together whenever sakura isnt with ino. Thr sevond naruto shows up an argument immidiently starts though.

In kakashi's romance novel language, its a classic enemies to lovers love corner set up. And kakashi is Invested. He thinks this is the funniest shit ever.

Now onto graduation. Im dropping the wierd kidnapping expired milk plot. The narusasu kiss still happens though. Naruto pranks kakashi, kakashi says he hates them and gets himself added to sakura's List.

Sakura likes hanging out with ino and learning chakra theory and does not answer her dislikes or goals for the future (which are, respectivly, marrying sasuke and not marrying sasuke). Sasuke likes his brother and tomatoes, dislikes naruto and people trying to take what's his, and wants to takeover the police force. Naruto likes ramen and sakura, dislikes the three minutes ot takes for ramen to cook and sasuke, and is going to become hokage.

The bell test goes pretty much the same as canon in that they fail the first part, except this time sakura and sasuke have a onesided argument early on, sakura's genjutsu is some flavor of her actually being married to sasuke and she starts gagging when she breaks it (and she does break it, she's been put under genjutsu by other uchiha before), and sasuke tries to start a brawl with naruto when he claims he's gonna get the second bell for sakura. Naruto is tied to a pole, sakura and sasuke feed him, they pass the test.

Kakashi is promptly accosted by first his cute kohai itachi (who wants him to take training his brother seriously) and then a haruno contingent (who want him to take training sakura seriously). He then meets the other new instructers to bemoan his cute students and their families only to be told he needs to take training them seriously. No one understands him.

(He goes to bed with the image in his mind of kushina and minato yanking him aside in the market to make fun of him and then tell him to take training naruto seriously. Not even his own brain understands him.)

Im trying to think ahead and decide where the funniest moment for naruto to find out that sakura and sasuke are engaged. And what ideas would be good for the time skip because i dont like the timeskip and sasuke's not defecting anyway.

Ive decided earlier is better.

The first month of training is always d ranks. So there's some training but mostly kakshi kicks back to make fun of them as the pull weeds and chase cats. On one such mission kakashi is laser focused in on them as the secret comes out. He wishes he had popcorn.

So naruto is bumbling around and knocks into sakura, who is caught by sasuke. Naruto turns to start apologizing while sakura revs up to start yelling at him when the old lady theyre working for calls them "such a cute pair." Naruto starts yelling because theyd be a cuter pair, sakura starts yelling because Gross, and then sasuke is like, "well she's my fiance."

Naruto sputters and sakura groans. She tells the old lady that theyre not technically engaged yet, but is mostly drowned out by naruto and sasuke's ensuing brawl.

Kakashi watches for as long as he could before the damage they were causing became too much and he was forced to step in. Sakura just wants to dissapear.

Now naruto's sitting there with some comedically sized bruises, crying and asking if its true. Sakura sighs and says yes and he colapses to the ground.

Its all very dramatic.

Cue uchiha family+team dinner, which sasuke finally agreed to because he wants to be like, look at my family with My Fiance. The only time Kakashi has ever been on time to anything because he doesnt want to miss a second.

Sakura is already there talking pleasantly to itachi about chakra pathways (itachi has been getting her books since she was little, i dont think i ever mentioned that. Itachi still thinks they are adorable and is fine with bribing her to come over with increasingly rare books). Sasuke eventually stopped trying to force them not to interact after the first few years and is fine with it as long as he is also sitting directly next to them.

Kakashi is giggling to himself as naruto is ushered in by mikoto still looking shell shocked. His entire world has been turned on its head.

Dinner starts formally and then drifts into casual conversation. Sasuke makes eyecontact with naruto and scoots closer to sakura, who just gives him a wierd look before ignoring him. Naruto makes a noise like a dying cat.

Mikoto pulls him into conversation, smiling serenly (he's so much like kushina). He says some things that are red flags. Eventually after he mentions that he has a hard time buying groceries sakura offers to go with him in the name of team solidarity. Sasuke promptly offers to also go, "you hate shopping," "if its bc we're a team then the whole team should go."

So they go shopping. And the entire time sasuke is trying to mess with naruto subtly while sakura glares at him because he's being clingy like he is to itachi. Sakura is explaining how to choose produce and calories and nutrients and raising a disparaging eyebrow anytime a vender tries to say something about naruto being there. (The harunos are not ninja, they can say what they want.) Naruto is torn between giving her his full attention and bristling at sasuke's behaviour. Overall it's a very fun trip.

This brings us to the wave arc. Same as originally, naruto demands a cool mission and the hokage agrees (once again, theres some extra political moves going on. The og version of the team doesnt have strong political power). In comes tazuna.

Their sendoff has a bit more fanfare this time, with itachi and mikoto saying goodbye to sasuke and itachi giving sakura a new book and some snacks for the team.

When sakura first see the puddles she looks at kakashi but he shushes her. Literally. She is offended.

The two ninja pop out and "kill" kakashi. Sakura falls back into protective position and casts her own genjutsu. Naruto freezes and sasuke takes out one ninja and kakshi pops back up to take care of the other.

It continues like canon. Zabuza shows up, sakura's once again on defence, kakshi is caught and then the boys free him, haku spirits away an unconcious zabuza. They get to tazuna's with sakura taking lead and the boys carying kakashi because she's the only one who knows medical information. (A note: with the uchiha clan alive sakura and sasuke are already aware of kakashi's eye, and sakura has been briefed on what to do with chakra exhaustian.)

Sasuke takes this moment to continue taunting naruto with the fact he's engaged to sakura. Sakura does not appreciate sasuke's praise as a tool to mess with naruto. Tazuna is very confused.

I think kakashi continuing with the mission at this point is out of spite towards everyone who assumed hed be a bad teacher, might as well prove them right.

Kakashi goes to teach them tree walking but sakura and sasuke already know. He moves them to waterwalking, which sakura gets very quickly and is then sent on guard duty. Its at this point that the feelings of isolation naruto has really hits home. Not only are they engaged theyve had years more training than him.

Sakura talks trade routes and infrastructure with tazuna. She also helps carry heavy things with chakra enhanced arms. (I dont remember what fic i originally saw this in, but i love the image of sakura casually picking a steel beam that it usually takes 4 to 6 men to carry as they watch in awed confusion. Im definitly going to give her an oversized weapon later.)

The big moment of divergence here is that i want haku to live, so so does zabuza. So sakura, with her merchant family's knowledge that a jounin might know but a genin never would, speaks up naruto style, "instead of dealing with thugs like gato who are inevitably going to double cross you, wouldnt you want the strength of a village again?" zabuza gets pissed before sakura reveals that theres anlther coup forming with strong backers.

Ive lost steam at this point, rapid fire.

The invasion still happens during the chunin exams because i want the 3rd to die. The uchiha are able to cement their new goodwill status in the village and sakura naruto and sasuke are on civilian duty during the battle.

I think itd be funny to still break up the team. So sakura gets promoted. Theres some political stuff that goes into it (a wedge between her and sasuke is a bonus to those who are still against the uchiha clan) but also she did well and tsunade has a minimum she needs to fill.

Tsunade mercs danzo prerty early on too.

Post chunin itachi takes naruto shopping while sakura is busy, sasukes is pissed. Cue brotherly bonding.

At the end of wave the whole team started getting touchier with eachother (started by sasuke clinging to sakura to prove he could and progessing to reassure naruto that he was a teammate they care about.

At some point after they all start displaying casual affection between eachother shisui starts a rumor that all 3 are dating.

With sakura busy with chunin training sai is put onto their team. It takes awhile for them to get used to it.

Naruto and sai become roommates.

They have study sessions at naruto's place because he'll need better knowledge of politics if he's going to become hokage.

Sasusaku is endgame.

Im dome for now.