#even though everyone clearly does

[shredsandpatches]

a cpap machine

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

[otaku553]

The eventual kazuha and sanemi dynamic

[essektheylyss]

I love that, regardless of any other fey nature or trickery, Morri genuinely seems to love Fearne. There's no question in her greeting that she does see her as her own granddaughter, as much as Fearne sees Morri as her grandmother unequivocally.

[utilitycaster]

I just want to say, that I agree with almost all of your Critical Role takes and you have 1000% better and more nuanced takes than all of Twitter and I greatly appreciate it! The takes over there regarding Liliana and the gods are just wild and you bring some much needed sanity to the content I see

Thanks! I hope you don't mind because I've been thinking about this re: the Twitter takes but the thing about Twitter and Liliana specifically that I've seen is that there's this really bizarre fetishization of like, the fact that she is a (white) southerner (this also weirdly happened for Birdie though to a much lesser extent, and the person who spearheaded that wasn't even American so I have to assume this is a specific corner of Twitter Culture At Large). And like, here's the thing. It's true that fantasy tends to be very British in its accents, and it's also true that accents in a fantasy world are used to convey the same things we'd assume in our world - RP British for educated, southern American for rural, Cockney for rougher types, etc.

It's also true that laying the exact socioeconomic parallels from our world onto, say, Liliana and Orym (who reads to me as non-regional but I, like Liam, am from the Northeast originally) is a recipe for disaster. Or rather, it's not, but it is going to reaffirm your own biases, some of which are dangerous to reaffirm.

There was a popular post on Tumblr a while back, probably not long after Trump was elected, of someone talking about how they were convincing a relative with the confederate flag towards socialism by appealing to the idea of "isn't in unfair how uneven wealth distribution is and how a small group has so much control" and a number of people were rightfully like "uh, maybe you should focus on the racism" or "hey OP ask your relative who they think that small group in control is because I'm getting a really bad feeling they're going to say it's The Jews." And I feel that a lot of the empathy for Liliana from those spaces feels like that OP. Or in other words: I get that you see your relatives in Liliana. Unfortunately, I cannot help but see me and mine in Orym.

You see someone trapped by circumstance and desperation in a dangerous ideology. I see the fact that I haven't gone to a synagogue in easily 6-7 years without there being a security guard present and usually, the doors locked with someone looking through the window to let you in, and then in the sanctuary there's been an installation so that you can quickly bar all the doors in case an alarm goes off or you hear shots in the lobby.

I think there's a great case for seeing yourself in Imogen, who is in a painful struggle with the fact that her mother does love her very much but is in dangerously deep and has done a number of incredibly terrible and harmful things. That latter point is important, incidentally; I get that cult members sometimes rise through the ranks but all but the leader are being manipulated. But the fact remains that a brainwashed person can still commit atrocities, and in this story, they have, many times over. It's especially true because like...sure, plenty of people are like "I lost my relative to a cult and I just want them back and I couldn't harm them," but also, as we've seen, this cult can and will harm Imogen! Plenty of people are also like "yeah I gotta cut them off, it hurts but unfortunately my horribly bigoted and violent relative, while a victim of brainwashing, is a threat to me too." It's not even the full picture of the Temult side of things, let alone the picture that includes the Vanguard's victims.

I also think the Southern gatekeeping is unhinged because it's like. guys there's QAnon members and other cults across the country; the Confederate flag example above was actually notable in that OP wasn't even Southern so you couldn't even write the flag off as deeply misguided heritage but rather was explicitly being used as a hate symbol. It's awfully presumptive to assume all southerners have the same experience (especially since the Temults are portrayed, physically and in accents, as white southerners, not that the experiences of white southerners aren't also incredibly varied). It's awfully presumptive to assume that people find Liliana threatening because they have no personal experience with people like her; often, it's because they have all too real experience with people like her, and it says something even worse about you if you can say "but you guys, I see me and my family in Liliana" when people are telling you that they see them and their families in Orym. I would not, personally, publicly admit that one's empathy extends to the people who remind you of your family but runs out before it reaches their victims. Nor would I publicly admit that I assume everyone who disagrees with me clearly has never had personal experience with this topic.

I should also note that, as I've noted a number of times before, that these are fictional characters and not real people. Twitter seems to be really fucking bad at grasping that. Like, yes, this is the other thing; I do not think that OP should kill their Confederate flag-toting relative, whereas if Imogen did so to Liliana I'd be like "hell yeah." The former is a real person who I do hope gets deprogrammed, just, you know, maybe adjust those priorities; the latter is a fictional character in a story.

[soup-eater94]

i wish i could illustrate to you how they’re so soulmatism, what’re the chances of a completely different timeline!johnny sticking by kuai liang… allied in mkx-mk11, and again in mk1– THEY- they’re just *friends. im serious here. they know of each other’s struggles and strengths, bits of their lives that gets filtered throughout their convos what can i say that hasn’t already been said. mr. ‘i need help finding my brother’ and mr. ‘y’know my big brother was an asshole, too.’ its; mr. ‘will your wife ever return?’ and mr. ‘You and Kuai Liang have been MIA.’ ITS ‘YOU ARE LUCKY KUAI LIANG GOT CALLED OFF.’ ITS ‘I GUESS WE KNOW WHO LOST THE FACE-OFF WITH KUAI LIANG.’ THEY PISS ME OFF SOOOO BAD AUAHH— and in this most recent iteration of them johnny has such an interest in kuai liangs life when kuai liang takes deliberate care telling certain people his personal affairs. kuai liang has such an obvious trust in him. i m going to

* i mean this in the best way possible btw. i love a good platonic relationship as much as a romantic one

[blue-rose-soul]

Have you heard of swap hazbin hotel? If you do, then here is an idea for an au of Devil's bastard. This is roleswap, the personality would stay the same or similar.

What if it was alastor that open the hotel. The hotel's design would resemble his and his mother's old home. He did it as an experiment or because he was bored, knowing that no one would support redemption, no one except Charlie. She fully support the hotel idea and Alastor is now along the ride. Then when Charlie's father came, Alastor may not do much antagonize because he was the one that started the hotel and he may need support, so unfortunately he may have to grit his teeth while Lucifer does his "hell greatest dad". Don't worry, he will hold a grudge. When the reveal of Alastor's father happen, Lucifer will feel like putting a foot in his mouth due to his comment on Alastor and during his song.

What would the relationship be between Alastor and the hotel residents when the reveal happen?

Got a few asks about this, so I figured I'd combine 'em. I'll prolly won't address each and every point in these asks since I'm answering several at once.

Okay, so, to be honest, my opinion on roleswap AUs is kind of mixed. I think they can be a lot of fun, but I don't really like them when it's just swapping the character's aesthetics and narrative roles for no apparent reason. For a roleswap to be interesting to me, it has to highlight some underexplored aspect of a character, or some similarity between the swapped characters that isn't normally apparent. And I prefer there to be some in-universe reason why the roles are swapped, rather than it being just random.

One example I particularly like is a swap between Angel Dust and Vaggie, where Valentino was the one who came across Vaggie half-dead in the alley. In this universe where Angel Dust never signed a contract with Valentino but Vaggie did, Angel Dust stayed in his family's web of crime until he eventually joined the hotel. Even though each character ended up in one another's role, they still acted like themselves. Angel Dust was still Angel Dust, just with his mob connections more apparent and with the freedom to do things he couldn't while on Valentino's leash. And Vaggie was still very much the tough-as-nails former exorcist who, like the original Angel Dust, is the type to try to shoulder her burdens alone and reject outside help out of a sense of self-loathing.

I'm not as fond of most swaps between Charlie and Alastor because they usually end up feeling like wholly different characters to me. But in the comic I reblogged, what really sold it for me was Charlie's line about Alastor being an addict. I think it's fascinating if you view Alastor's need to kill as being similar to Husk's predisposition towards gambling, or Angel Dust's addiction to drugs and sex. For a character who routinely goes out of his way to be something Other Than Human, this is weirdly humanizing. Additionally, swapped Alastor's expression when Charlie calls him an addict suggests that she's right, and that the violent murderer we know in canon isn't entirely gone from this character. And if that's the case, then it's fair to assume the reverse is also true and the sweet, idealistic Charlie is somewhere under swapped Charlie's manic smile. This makes me want to follow their story, see what brought them to this point and where they'll go from here.

My biggest roadblock in setting up a swap AU of the Devil's Bastard AU - besides getting a bit frantic with sub-AUs already - is figuring out under what circumstances Alastor would open the Hazbin Hotel and Charlie would not. I would probably start with circumstances similar to the Raised Together AU, in which Lucifer found out about Nicaise getting pregnant with his son right away. But when Nicaise was murdered, instead of getting Alastor first, Lucifer went straight to Nicaise's killer to confront him. Unfortunately for the man's health, he was a drunkard and after what he did to Nicaise he heavily indulged. So when Lucifer appeared in front of him in all of his hellish, angelic glory, the man broke down in nearly incomprehensible babbling, and as he was begging for forgiveness for what he did to the woman and the boy, he inadvertently confessed to killing Alastor as well. All while Alastor was sleeping in the shed.

Lucifer slaughtered the man right then and there. What was left of his corpse didn't even look human by the time Lucifer was done with him. Then, heartbroken, Lucifer returned to Hell for good. In the aftermath he became even more fiercely protective of Charlie, not even letting her leave their family home without him or Lilith present. And this added yet more friction to his and Lilith's strained relationship. Sadly, Charlie's dreams hit their first major roadblock before she'd even gotten them off the ground.

But obviously Alastor wasn't dead. He didn't have an easy time of things after his kidnapper's death, since he wasn't able to weasel his way into that man's grace, but he was very much inspired by the event. He would still go on to become a serial killer, seeing it as the only way to fix what was wrong with the fucked up world he lived in. Plus, it was really really fun.

When he died and went on his Overlord murdering spree, he drew the attention of Lilith who immediately clocked there was something different about this sinner. Between what Lucifer had told her - at her discretion - about his child and human friend, the unnatural amount of power, and Alastor's name, she put two and two together almost instantly. She decides to keep a close eye on this particular sinner. With Lucifer more withdrawn than ever and keeping Charlie in isolation with him, it wasn't hard for her to keep his presence in Hell a secret. It was just a matter of figuring out what to do with this information.

Arrogant as he is, the day eventually comes when Alastor gets in over his head. Maybe he fared worse in the fight against Vox and Valentino than even they realized, maybe he got caught in the middle of an extermination. Whatever the case, Lilith swooped in and offered a deal; his life for his soul. And Alastor was in no position to say no.

With Alastor on her leash, Lilith decides on what to do with him. She's going to make her daughter's dream come true. Although Charlie hasn't been allowed to go out and interact with sinners regularly in decades, she still harbors hopes of saving them from exterminations. Something which Lilith is aligned in, though their methods are slightly different. And with her growing frustration towards Lucifer, wouldn't it be just beautiful if one of his very own detested sinners were to prove him wrong? Hence why she doesn't tell Lucifer that his son made his way to Hell after all. Of course, Alastor doesn't believe in redemption and wouldn't go along with this willingly, so Lilith gives him some motivation. If he can get one - just a single soul - into Heaven, she will return his soul to him. All he needs to do is prove it's possible.

As far as Alastor's concerned, she just gave him an impossible task as a means of taunting him. In his mind, she's basically told him, "You're mine forever." But, this is the only path available to him right now, so he sets to it.

The first Charlie ever learns of Alastor's existence is the broadcasts of his victims' screams. So she instantly recognizes the voice on the radio advertising a project aimed at doing no less than exactly what she's always dreamed of! Is it possible? Did one of the most bloodthirsty, ruthless, and dangerous Overlords decide to walk the path of redemption himself?

...Maybe. Charlie isn't naive enough not to suspect some ulterior motives from the Radio Demon. But she hopes. And it's that hope that fuels her to once again approach Lucifer and beg him to let her go out and help their people. Lucifer refuses to listen. He shuts her down, not willing to entertain the notion of a sinner fighting for redemption for even a moment. There's no point in having faith in them. Charlie leaves dejected.

Later that night, as she's once again rereading the story of how her parents met, the Radio Demon's voice rattling in her head, she decides she's had enough. Why did she ever bother with asking? Her parents are the original rebels! She grabs her cell phone, a few wads of cash, and - when they notice her leaving and don't try to stop her - Razzle and Dazzle, and disappears into the night.

Needless to say, Alastor is very, very confused when this mysterious Hellborn shows up on his doorstep, not wanting to seek redemption or protection from the exterminations, but declaring her intent to help. He's instantly suspicious, and it hits Charlie that Alastor won't believe any genuine offers of help. So she does the first thing she can think of; she acts shady. Her acting is a little awkward and stilted, but Alastor more readily believes that she's there to watch him make a fool of himself. Besides, as powerful as he is, the funding she offers will go a long way towards fixing up the facility. So the hotel gains a mysterious new facility manager with a hidden agenda in the form of the Princess of Hell. Not that she's telling anyone who she really is.

Eventually Charlie's sure that Lucifer will come looking for her, so she has to work fast to make this thing work before he figures out where she is.

She just doesn't know the clusterfuck that's awaiting her when that day finally comes.

[keeps-ache]

buttered noodles 💫💛🍜

[hecksupremechips]

Just the way Shin Tsukimi’s “mask off” moment is him becoming increasingly frustrated to the point of having a nervous breakdown where all he can do is laugh maniacally because he’s so done with everyone acting so incompetent and not seeing things “as they are” (aka how he sees them) is just. Mwah chefs kiss hes just like me fr 😰

[blujayonthewing]

hands down the worst thing about being an artist is other people constantly going 'I'm not gonna bother doing this fun rewarding thing-- least of all with you-- because you are so much better at it that it ruins it for me'

[delightfuldevin]

People in the comments of the new splatfest song are kinda annoying ngl,,

Marina is very smart y’all. Even if she was sheltered by growing up in the Octarian domes, I’m preeetty sure everyone wasn’t super kind and genuine to each other all the time. There’s no way Marina doesn’t know what being passive aggressive looks like. She’s not too uwu pure to tell that Shiver was insulting her. She’s just a genuine fan of Deep Cut and she ain’t about that petty insults stuff.

[lesbiangiratina]

Not very fond of people like waving off testament’s gender as just a Gear Thing but well at least it becomes funny when people apply it to gears as a whole. Like yeah i can agree with that. It has nothing to do with being a gear tho theyre all just transgender

[the-prima-vista]

I'm trying to play through FF16 but it's honestly such a struggle for me. The combat isn't my sort of thing, and I feel like everyone talks at like... half the speed of normal dialogue so I just lose interest in every single cutscene.

[hoperays-song]

Johnny’s Clothes

Can we just quickly talk about what Johnny wears throughout the two movies? Because it’s really insightful character design and actually was one of the first things that hinted to me why the gang might be stealing in the first place: they’re all hand-me-downs. 

They all fit weird, sleeves too long, legs too long, sitting off the shoulders, and visibly worn. It also shows his transformation between movie a bit as his clothes seem to be in better condition in the second movie, like he could now afford to repair or replace them. The only clothes that fit him perfectly being his costumes however could also symbolize how he feels more at home and like he fits in there as well, if we’re looking at it symbolically as well. 

Anyway! Why do I think they’re hand-me-downs? Well...

Johnny’s Jacket

The most obvious hand-me-down as a lot of the fandom even headcanons it as his dad’s old jacket and I’m inclined to believe this as well. While this jacket is arguably the only piece of Johnny’s wardrobe that fits somewhat well with only the shoulders being to big, it is so worn down and clearly well loved that I doubt it was just a thrift store find. Johnny clearly treasures that jacket and takes care of it, even seeming to repair it a bit in between movies. This indicates to me that it has sentimental value and being a hand-me-down from his dad, a jacket his mother might have worn once as well, would definitely make it sentimental.

Johnny’s Jeans

Johnny’s jeans are more obviously ill-fitting in the first movie. They’re cuffed, but not stylishly, more out of necessity. And since he doesn’t wear his clothes to sag on purpose, this indicates that the jeans originally belonged to someone much taller than him, say any member of his family, or he might have even thrifted them. And as someone who’s worn jeans literally their whole life, I can tell you that the wear on the knees of the jeans from the first movie are not from stylistic choices. In fact, due to the light wash of the actual jeans themself, I can tell you that those jeans are seconds from falling apart at the knees, and can only be fixed with a patch. They are that worn down. However, in the second movie, they do look a bit worn, they are clearly newer and in much better shape, judging by how you can see that bronze side seam that is really prevalent on new jeans. He got a new pair but since they’re still too long, I’m gonna go with they were bought hastily and on sale.

Johnny’s Shirts

Johnny’s shirts are way too big for him. The sleeves end at the center of his hands, and while all mine do too, that’s because I deliberately buy 1 to 2 sizes up. That means that those shirts aren’t Johnny’s size and if he had thrifted them, you would think he would have gotten the correct size if he could. That implies to me that they might be hand-me-downs from his dad and uncles from when they were teenagers, explaining why they’re too big but why Johnny’s never altered them like he has other clothing items.

Johnny’s Shoes

So I’ll admit, I’ve never owned a pair of converse high tops in my life, however, I did some asking around and some googling and my report is that converse last around, on average 1-3 years. Now, it’s important to take into consideration here that Johnny’s primary mode of transportation is his skateboard, therefore apparently decreasing their lifespans to 2-8 months. However, since these shoes cost between $40-$65, I’m less than inclined to believe that the family that has turned to committing felonies has that amount of money laying around. So those are almost definitely the same shoes a year later in Sing 2, and since they didn’t look brand new at the start of Sing 1, they are probably much older that 2-3 years old and almost definitely being held together with duct tape.

Johnny’s Tank Top

So this has literally bugged me since I first saw it to be honest. I might not be an expert seamster or tailor, but a quick google search did confirm that there is not usually a giant seam across the chest of almost all clothing. That, along with the strange looseness we can see in the sides of the shirt when he moves stood out to me, so I did some research to confirm my suspicions. That kind of seam is used to shorten clothing. And why it might be that high up would be potentially due to that area not fitting correctly, and judging by how un-formfitting the sides of the tank top is, it probably was too loose. Besides, we’ve literally only seen Johnny wear long sleeves, like every shirt and costume has long sleeves. The only member of Johnny’s family we’ve seen wear a tank top is Marcus, who we see wear them to work out. And as we can clearly see that none of Marcus’s clothes would fit Johnny, he’s easily twice his size. Therefore, it’s likely one of his dad’s old tank tops they altered to actually fit him.

Johnny’s Watch

To be completely honest, I forgot that Johnny wore a watch in the first movie entirely. However, upon some research, the closest look alike i found cost $80. ...Yeah, I don’t think the guy who has hand me down shirts is gonna prioritize getting a watch. Besides, it looks really old judging by how worn the band appears. That leads me to believe it’s a hand-me-down/ family heirloom, or he thrifted it awhile ago.

Johnny’s Dance Shoes

Just look at how spotless and perfect those shoes are. Those are absolutely a loan from the troupe. Besides, those are not sneakers, those are shoes especially made for dancing. Not only has Johnny not ever had a reason to have them before, but as a former dancer, I can attest to how they can cost anywhere from $25 to $150 a pair. Johnny definitely did not just happen to have a pair laying around and neither did the theatre troupe, so those would have been a loaner pair from Klaus’s group. 

Johnny’s Sweatpants

These are clearly the newest of Johnny’s clothes and at first I thought they might actually fit him perfectly. That was until I actual dug into the standard fitting of joggers and realized that they also were the smallest bit big on him. But since they seem to be in such good condition, I’m more inclined to believe these were a gift that was estimated in terms of sizing. Another reason I think these might have been a gift is that we only see Johnny wearing dark and cool colours, bright red joggers, even if they are a bit ombre at the bottom, don’t seem to be within his typical style range. Also, the closest pair of joggers that looked similar to his that I found cost $70, an amount of money Johnny clearly doesn’t have to spend on clothes so, they were definitely a gift.

[ennuidays]

think im back in my Everyone is stupid era bcuz im mad at people for literally no reason

[camgoloud]

the unaffordability of one bedroom apartments in my area is something that can be so oppressive to me personally

[benadril]

Funniest thing ever ever forever is when a popular bully desperately tries to get me to like them but fails miserably