#it doesnt matter who or what youre doing it for . if youre trying to improve yourself you are not a bad person at your core .

[ennuidays]

think im back in my Everyone is stupid era bcuz im mad at people for literally no reason

[proteuus]

.

[cinderellakinnie]

people are so unnecessarily mean about people they knows art and will talk behind their back about how shitty it is, ESPECIALLY if theyre not friends, and its just like, why? people like that are the reason why people dont talk about their passions or think theyre even allowed to do that stuff. all youre doing is creating an environment where people are too self conscious to express themselves and were never going to get "good" art thats not just made by pretentious assholes who think they're better than everyone else

[pomefioredove]

Hiii 💖💖💖

I saw that your head cannon requests were open so I was wondering if you could do headcannons of

Vil with a gender neutral reader who doesnt really want to change anything about themself. Like they eat what they want when they want, dress how they want. (ex. dressing for the female gaze) and Listen to what they want. And try not to be insecure about what they look like.

I was looking at the beginning of book 5 and no lie Vil in the beginning would trigger me if I was there. Vil and reader accidentally triggering reader which makes them get off to a rough start. But they genuinely love themself but not in a vain sort of way. They don’t try to change each other though, no one’s “fixing” anyone.

I was thinking like enemies to lovers

NOOO I'm so with this concept, I get it

summary: "rebellious" reader type of post: headcanons characters: vil additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

can't spell miscommunication without "u" and "i"!

Vil doesn't want any excuses

he knows what's best for you, and he doesn't understand why you're so...

...Epel

at least Epel has aspirations, though; they may not be what Vil wants for him, but they're aspirations nonetheless

you're just...

...you

it's like you don't care at all

but you do put some effort into your image, so...

sigh

it just seems like every time he gets close to figuring you out, you say something even more ridiculous

you think you're "fine"? you have no desire to become the best version of yourself?

it's like you're speaking in another language

eventually, he has to accept it

Vil can't force you to improve yourself, even if he knows exactly what would make your skin glow and your outfits just pop...

you're happy, and that's all that matters

(even if it drives him insane)

as you spend more time together, though, he finds other ways to make himself useful

if he can't help you in one way, he will in another

(you cannot stop this man from taking care of you I swear)

little gifts here and there, opening doors for you, even just simple companionship

he starts to feel that sense of accomplishment just by making you happy

he knows that if and when you're ready to improve something about yourself, you'll come to him

until then, he'll enjoy you as you are <3

[eternalera]

real quick, some words of encouragement for people who think that they might want to start writing fanfiction but are too scared because they think that it'll be bad and that it'll suck.

ive got some news for you buddy. it will. your first fanfiction will absolutely suck ass. sorry to break it to you but no one is a master at things on their first try. you'll mess up some dialog, some twists some scenes. but guess what? so did everyone, that one fanfic author you absolutely adore?

chances are that their first writings sucked too. dont be afraid to write, just have fun doing it and in a few days, weeks, months, hell even years if you decide to keep up with this weird little hobby for the long you'll look back on your previous works and see how much you've improved

you'll still cringe at your writing even now sometimes but guess what? who gives a shit? youre having fun so what? not to mention no matter what, even if you dont think your writing quality is that good and doesnt match up to those you love, people will still love your writing

so yknow what? MAN UP and write that fanfic, doesnt matter if its 10k words or a simple 100 just do it. we've all gotta start somewhere :)

[thatghostinyourbog]

THIS SCENE

THIS FUCKING SCENE

I always thought this scene SAID everything it needed to say

And I just never looked too deeply into it until now

Atsushi and his tiger are separate

They are portrayed as 2 separate beings throughout the entire show

And his ability might be like that

But if we're thinking of this from a storyteller point of view

Atsushi is the tiger

The tiger is Atsushi

In that scene atsushi admits how much he hates himself

And later Akutagawa reveals that Atsushi thinks he doesn't deserve to live unless he's helping others

But that doesn't change, atsushi just doesn't think he deserves to live. He is trying to earn to live but helping people is just keeping him alive

I think the tiger came out to help him (he helped himself) only because he finally thought he deserved to live, he was helping so many people and in that moment he realised this gives him a right to live

So why was that not the end of the season and his character development??

WELL I'M GLAD YOU ASKED

After all that happened SECONDS after the ENTIRE CITY was saved Atsushis main focus was still on making sure as many people lived as possible. After all that it still wasn't enough.

Then we move onto his quality bonding time with the little Victorian boy

I've already talked about Atsushi and Akus relationship so I won't say much more

But the interactions at the end of season 2

Aku not only figured out Atsushi was trying to make it so he deserved to live he also told him how stupid it was

Atsushi and Aku need to hear things like this

Natural behaviours and beliefs they have from their trauma are stupid, but they have so much weight to them neither of them can help but live by those things and sometimes it takes your rival to go up to you, stab you in the shoulders, and say you're stupid for you to think somewhat rationally

Aku tells Atsushi he doesn't have to live his life by other people's morals

He does actually have a choice

With Atsushis past at the orphanage hearing this must've felt like being hit by a truck

Atsushi realised he can have his own morals and he's free to help or kill whoever he pleases

Aku shows Atsushi that he is free

Now there isn't a set way to overcome trauma or improve your mental wellbeing

God everyone wishes there were but that's just life

And I think that's what bsd is

It's people trying to overcome their trauma

People trying to get better

People who seem to be worse at just living than others

Imo bsd is about getting better

Some characters won't

Some will

Some people won't get better

Some will

Bsd is so special because of that fact

It's the only show I've seen that is aimed towards people who simply find living more difficult than others

This is the show you watch when you feel completely alone

The characters are written so well and they're so different from eachother but they all are still suffering

It covers topics that the viewers probably thought they were entirely alone in even thinking about

(My thoughts were all over the place I can't figure out a better way to put all this together so just suffer through the edited thoughts of my brain)((Yea imagine how I feel I have to suffer through the completely unedited ones))

Atsushi views the tiger way higher than himself

The tiger represents the part of Atsushi who no matter what will help others

Atsushi himself does not believe he is such a good person

He doesnt believe he is as good as he is, he believes he can harm to people when in reality he would never be able to bring himself to hurt others

The tiger represents Atsushis natural good nature

And Atsushi himself represents all his doubts and worries and feelings of worthlessness

He thinks he is such a bad person he has separated the natural good things about himself and put them into his ability

Which is why in dead apple he seemed so lost and helpless

For half the movie he was following Aku and Kyouka around unsure of what to do

And once he faced his trauma and got his ability back he realised he doesn't HAVE to be such a good person

He doesn't have to be this perfect being who saves everyone and doesn't let anyone suffer

He learns he has to fight

He learns he has to kill some people and there's no way around it

That doesn't make him a bad person

It just makes him human

And this is what he realises at the end of the movie

It's also what he shows Dazai right at the start and the end with those little interactions they have

Atsushi never doubted Dazais humanity

They're all just human

And they're all trying to live to be better people

[neptune-scythe]

actually in an aplatonic rage because why is the message always that people need friends and relationships in order to have good lives?

And the romance/sexual side of that pisses me off too, but at least there is some bit of representation and conversation for not valuing that or not valuing it as much as other people

but even then the solution is often "yeah I don't need that because I have my friends"

???

why is the message that the only time our life can be good is when other people are involved

like other people's support and willingness to be around me does not determine whether or not my life is good and satisfies me omfg

and yes obviously I know some people do want friends and that does improve their life, this post is not about those people. some of us do not want that, it has absolutely no benefits, and actually makes life worse

love is not the greatest thing, its not the goal for everyone, relationships are not everything, friends are not everything, dying alone with no one who loves you or remembers you is not the worst thing ever, some of us actually prefer that idea

and why is that so damned hard for people to understand

especially when those same people that are trying to push the need for relationships on you will literally just use you and then dump you when they're done, even if you tried to be a good friend/partner/whatever to them

like ok maybe if you think its so important actually be good at it??? actually show me the supposed value in relationships??? or just shut up and let me live my life the way that i see is best and actually trust that i might know what's best for me and you don't

being aromantic or asexual is hard enough for people to understand, but there's even less people who are even willing to entertain the concept that aplatonic people might exist and it's just so dumb. why can't people just let loners be loners without calling them depressed or broken or probably a violent person with criminal tendencies,

especially in a world where for traumatized, neurodivergent, or mentally ill people, a lot of people just don't care enough to put the effort into that relationship, because we're too much work, we're too different, we're just too much, why are people then pissing on us for accepting that no one wants us and just living our lives without that

just let aplatonic people live our lives, we're not even doing anything like omfg stop trying to force us to be social, stop telling us our life will only matter if someone else loves us, stop saying we're just depressed and going out with people will fix us, stop trying to make us "normal" and just accept that just because we're different doesnt mean we're a threat to your way of life and need to be altered to preserve your closed minded idea of what humanity should look like, especially when the social world is filled with obligation and things you should be doing and shouldn't be doing that maybe isn't actually beneficial for anyone

we're living our lives the way that works for us, we're not hurting anyone

just let us be

[stomach-bugg09]

hihi maybe a fic where reader is just an absolute menace and badass like her mother neytiri!! everyone in the clan is prob trying to become mates with her but she doesnt like it at all

summary: [y/n] sully was independent, strong, scary, clearly the daughter of neytiri. but, her impeccable game constantly reminds everyone who her father was.

a/n: two in one day ?? what ?? crazy. anyway, hopefully you enjoy. she’s kinda a cutie in this, like okay yes go boss. also i cannot stop making random original characters that are not at all canon to atwow, but you know what, it is what it is. feedback, reblogs, and reqs are always appreciated !!

tags: @pinkhotdogsfr @wxnderingthoughts @ellielovesrobinarellano ( check out my tag guide !! )

warnings: [y/n] being a boss, sully siblings are so cute and supportive, some annoying boy attitude, guys being kinda creepy and obsessive, [y/n]’s undeniable and accidental rizz, non-consensual touch ( like a touch on the arm, but still aggravating )

2.5k words

independence

GIF by world-of-pandora

if there was one thing about [y/n] sully, it was that she was her mother’s daughter. any na’vi that knew the two of them could tell you this. from her skills on the battlefield to her independence, it was clear to all that neytiri had raised her eldest daughter in a way that she had no need to depend on anyone other than herself, as every young female should.

as a result, [y/n] sully stood among some of the strongest warriors in her age group. there was a good amount of na’vi—a solid six—her age that provided hope for the future. when it came their time to protect the clan, jake and neytiri lived in a little bit more peace knowing that the omaticaya would be safe in their hands

it was one of those days, with the core six, in which [y/n] spent her afternoon scouting. they’d split into two groups a few minutes prior, deciding to cover ground much quicker while separated.

“hey, [y/n]!” ole’ey called from behind, her friend’s voice becoming apparent directly in [y/n]’s ear thanks to the intercom necklaces they wore ( although, they were only allowed to wear them while on patrol. )

“hm?” [y/n] hummed, her peripheral vision picking up an image of ole’ey, a smirk resting on her face.

“has kllalu asked you out yet?”

on the other side of her, [y/n] heard her other friend, meyio, guffaw, losing his mind over the situation. “kllalu?” he screamed, not even bothering to go through comms because of how loud he was.

immediately, [y/n] dropped her face into her hands. “are you kidding?”

“so, i’m going to take that as a no.”

the sully daughter collapsed on her ikran, laying stomach down as she leaned the top-half of her weight against the creature’s neck. “i hate my life.”

“oh, please!” meyio teased. “you just have an impeccable amount of game. it’s natural!”

“it comes from your father’s side,” ole’ey added, not missing a beat, sending meyio once again as he screamed in laughter.

[y/n] cringed, hitting her forehead against her ikran. “that is disgusting. do not ever say that again. like, ever.”

“it’s just the plain truth!”

the three of them, [y/n], meyio, and ole’ey, were, if anything, an iconic trio. ever since [y/n] started training with other children around the clan, the three immediately drifted towards each other. after five long years later, neytiri and jake were practically their second pair of parents.

as a result of their friendship, all three of them improved their skills together, spending their time sparring with each other. they still often reminded each other of the day that meyio said something offensive—probably having to do with the other two being girls—and as a result, ole’ey and [y/n] absolutely annihilated him the next day at training. it even got the point in which the two young girls were reprimanded by jake ( although, neytiri was absolutely losing it when he came home and told his mate the story. )

but, no matter how often the two girls practiced their fighting skills by beating up meyio, they were all the best of friends. so, that meant immense teasing.

“i do not care what the plain truth is—you do not say that about somebody’s father to his daughter.” [y/n] was exasperated. not only did she have to deal with yet another male trying to convince her that they were ‘made for each other,’ but now she couldn’t get the thought of her father’s charm out of her head.

“okay, moving on from the epitome of hot dads,” meyio interrupted, causing a cry of anguish to leave [y/n]’s throat as she slammed her head against her ikran again, “what do you think kllalu is gonna say?”

as [y/n] attempted to ignore her friends, the fake deep voice of ole’ey kept her more than engaged in the moment. “‘oh, [y/n]. you’re like, as pretty as the stars or whatever. but, you know what’d be prettier? our future kids.’”

“ew!” she groaned, her hands going to her temples as to keep herself from jumping off of her ikran and strangling her friends.

“oh, that’s good,” meyio complimented, to which ole’ey sent a mock bow. “how about… ‘[y/n], i visited the spirit tree last night. i think, now i could be wrong, but… i think i saw us. together.’”

“now that’s just foul.” [y/n] argued. “using eywa’s visions as a way to bag me? he wouldn’t.”

meyio raised his hands defensively. “if you say so… but, i wouldn’t put it past him.”

“you two are unbelievable. this is like, my worst nightmare, and you’re making a joke out of it! some friends you are,” she grumbled.

“i’m sorry, [y/n],” ole’ey trailed, the smile in her voice apparent. “it’s not that we’re laughing about you having a problem.”

“yeah!” meyio added. “we’re laughing about this being the eight-hundreth time having the same exact problem.”

[y/n] groaned. “i know.” she shook her head, gazing at the forest below them. “why do they all keep trying. i have rejected every single one of them—why do they think that they’re different?”

meyio whistled at that. “what can i say, men love a good chase.”

she rolled her eyes. “i am not a chase, i am… i don’t even know! but i am definitely not a chase.”

“yes, you are not a chase because you don’t let them chase. i have never seen you give any one of them a chance!” ole’ey laughed. she wasn’t scrutinizing, and [y/n] knew that, she was just stating the truth. and still, it was a hard truth to swallow.

[y/n] had never been an easy friend. she grew up as the daughter of the toruk makto, and that meant that not only did her parents expect a lot from her, but so did everyone else in the clan. those were the words that motivated her to become such an amazing warrior—that, and the fact that she always wished to be like her mother.

she never really questioned it ever since her young mind decided who she was going to be. no, because she set a goal, and she would do whatever it took to accomplish that goal. and now, she’d finally reached it. who is she to become now?

she’d never learned to make friends—to even be friendly—she only wound up with meyio and ole’ey because she was lucky. she was, in all honesty, terrified of finding even a potential mate, because that meant she had to acknowledge that she was moving on into the future without even the slightest plan. all she wanted to do, for once in her life, was to enjoy living as a teenage na’vi.

later that afternoon, [y/n], meyio, and ole’ey sat in the clearing, alongside all four of the other sully siblings. after their morning of patrol, the trio was considerably tired, but that did not stop meyio and [y/n] from tackling each other.

all around the pair circled the rest of the kids, egging on the fight. it was, of course, a simple spar, and was something that they considered very normal in their routine.

“meyio, i swear to eywa if you lose, i am going to murder you!” lo’ak yelled from the sidelines, a threat that was motivated after he and ole’ey made bets on who would win.

“just keep doing what you’re doing, bud,” ole’ey added with a smirk, causing kiri to burst into laughter.

tuk was sat atop neteyam’s shoulders, allowing for a better view of their scrap. “meyio is kind of bad,” she mumbled, a comment that had her oldest brother wheezing for breath.

[y/n] was, by far, dominating. as she always did. at that point, after knowing her for five years, meyio had only a thirty-two percent win rate, so he was never shocked when the fight ended with him crying, “mercy!”

this fight, however, went a little different.

because as [y/n] triumphantly sat on his back, her hands pushing his face down into the mud as she teased, “you did this to yourself!” all of her confidence flew down the drain the moment she saw a familiar male in the distance.

immediately, the girl stopped, and with the lack of pressure against his neck, meyio flipped her over. [y/n] sputtered for breath, her lungs heaving after the wind was knocked out of her.

“hah!” meyio triumphed, only stopping when he noticed the look on her face. “[y/n]?”

“oh, come one!” lo’ak groaned. “meyio, finish the fight so i don’t lose any more money on you than i already have!”

when meyio ignored lo’ak’s comment, everyone grew curious. each other them took a step forward, peeking at the expression on [y/n]’s face.

based on her wide eyes that stared in the distance, kiri decided to follow her gaze. when she caught sight of kllalu, she bust into laughter. “are you scared of little-old kllalu? the one who we used to call ‘stick?’”

ole’ey sputtered a laugh. “why’d you call him ‘stick’”

“he stabbed himself with a stick and wouldn’t stop crying.”

the girl gasped. “oh my eywa, i remember that!”

meanwhile, meyio mumbled, “that is the dumbest nickname.”

ignoring the teasing comments, neteyam took tuk off of his shoulders, placing her on the ground before he walked closer to his sister. “what’d kllalu do?”

“nothing!” she cried. “that’s the problem!”

lo’ak looked unimpressed at her answer. “now, what is that supposed to mean? we are not mind readers, despite norm’s book of theories.”

“uh correction,” kiri pointed out. “norm’s theory is that the plants were mind readers.”

“guys!” tuk whined. “[y/n]’s upset.”

“right!” meyio called, a smirk pulling onto his face. “she’s upset because kllalu is planning to ask her out.”

both sully boys groaned at that information. “another one?” lo’ak asked, exasperated.

[y/n] lifted herself off of the ground, attempting to brush off as much dirt as she could. “i’m as unhappy about it as you are! this is like, the millionth rejection i’ve ever had to do!”

“will they ever catch on?” neteyam groaned, holding his head in his hands.

“that’s what i’m wondering!” [y/n] cried, staring up at the sky with an unamused look on her face.

“i’m telling you,” meyio yelled. “they love the chase.”

all at once, every single sully sibling responded with, “there is no chase!”

silence followed soon after, leaving meyio blinking absentmindedly at them. “okay,” he said, smacking his lips. “noted!”

“au,” [y/n] cried, shaking her head. “he is nearly here.”

“okay,” tuk yelled. “everyone be quiet and stare at him so we scare him away.” her idea had everyone but [y/n] shouting words of agreement.

immediately, [y/n] shook her head. “no—no!” she sighed. “look, i need to do this myself. just… act normal. i don’t know! i’m just gonna say what finally needs to be said.”

“and what is that?” kiri asked, eyebrows raised.

but, before she could answer, kllalu stepped into a radius that was far too close to answer without him hearing. so, as the remind them of their job, [y/n] sent one last look at the group of kids. quiet.

“[y/n]!” the boy greeted, a smirk placed on his lips. immediately, all six of the kids behind [y/n] were set off with annoyance.

she nodded her head. “kllalu.” [y/n]’s tone was dry, already setting the mood for an awkward conversation.

“how are you?” he attempted, stopping in front of her.

“i am doing great.”

he nodded slowly. “nice!” this was an extremely painful experience for everyone that was watching.

when she left the conversation hanging, kllalu cleared his throat. “so,” he continued slowly. “i was wondering if i could speak with you?”

she cocked her head ever-so-slightly. “you are speaking now, no?”

“uh,” he swallowed. “i was thinking, like… alone?”

immediately she shook her head. “i’d rather not leave my siblings.” she blinked. “and ole’ey and meyio.” behind her, the six of them waved cheerfully, leaving kllalu dumbstruck. “whatever you must say, you are fully capable of saying in front of them.”

“right!” he nodded. “yeah, no, i totally get it.” kllalu looked at the ground, stretching his arm to scratch the back of his neck. silence returned.

“you were going to say something, kllalu?”

he nodded. “uh, yeah.” her patience was thinning by the second. “i was just, uh, thinking. because, um, last night i visited the spirit tree—”

“no, kllalu.” ( behind [y/n], meyio was silently pointing and laughing at ole’ey since he guessed correctly. )

he blinked. “no? you don’t even know what i was going to say.”

she stared at him with a look. really? “i am not dumb.”

“but, why? i mean, i know you’ve rejected every single guy who has attempted, but why? why all of them?” he shook his head in disbelief. “how do you know i am not the right one?” as soon as kllalu’s hand grabbed her bicep, the entire group of six behind them burst.

“what do you think you’re doing?” neteyam growled, pushing himself off of the ground.

lo’ak was quick behind him. “she said no, dumbass.”

“do you need help understanding?” kiri took a step towards them.

with a huff, [y/n] held a hand up to her siblings and friends. once they’d frozen in place, she then grabbed his wrist tightly, ripping it off of her. “are you daft?”

“wha—no!”

“i will repeat it to you in words that your small brain can understand, and if you could do me a wonderful favor and tell every male that wants to ask me out, i would greatly appreciate it.” she stepped towards him, teeth bared. “i am in no need of a male’s help, nor his love. i am not a challenge, i am not a game to see whether or not you will be the one to convince me, i am not something to chase. you and all the other dumb males will stop asking me, because it is becoming offensive.” she bit her bottom lip, a mocking smile appearing on her lips. “i have made it this far independently. i will not let that go by having a male choose me as his mate. when the time comes, i will choose. do you understand?”

he nodded.

she raised her eyebrows. “do you understand?”

“yes.”

“good.” she stepped back, feeling the safety of her friends and family. “now, please go away. you have ruined a perfectly fine afternoon.”

as they watched him stumble away, [y/n] felt not only her own pride swell in her heart, but the pride of her friends and siblings. sure, they knew [y/n] sully was strong, scary, all the good stuff, but it was always refreshing to watch it come out.

it always reminded them of why the adults of the clan were not at all worried for the omaticayans future. there was nothing to worry about when warriors like [y/n] existed.

[n3xii]

2022 wrap up- what you need to know

This reading will explore what lessons you learned/need to learn, what energy to leave behind and what's coming towards you in 2023

Pile one

lessons you learned/need to learn-

You learned that ignoring and not utlizing the resources around you lead to inaction, delays, lack of progress. Specifically, you were not ultizing painful lessons from the past. I feel like a smaller energy I'm seeing here is that some of you learned that they must inact painful things in order to see movement in their life- Sometimes you have to separate from someone or distance yourself from situations in order to stop repeating cycles. But the bigger or overall enegy I'm picking up on is this pile needed to learn lessons from past pain, breakups, separations, traumas. You were letting those lessons go to waste because you felt they had nothing to bring you but more pain. You've repeated alot of cycles this year because you didn't want to examine the impact something had on you, but in reality you were just dodging powerful lessons. I feel like you guys also needed to learn that impulsiveness doesn't mean bravery or progress. This year you learned that the action you take needs to have a purpose, goal or a plan but this felt difficult to do because you felt insecure in yourself. You lacked the ability to believe in the goals and desires you already had. You know what you want you just didn't know you were able to accomplish those things. But I see you starting to step into that energy of bravery and self confidence, just make sure your actions have purpose going forward into 2023. Let your painful experiences teach you and not victimize you any further. Last but not least, some of you were attracted to reckless enegy but mistakened their enrgy to be brave and confident. Careless, impulsive and egotistical doesn't mean confident, and that was a big lesson you learned this year. People who are mean, pushy, bossy, or overpowering are actually more insecure in themselves. You may have tried to emody this energy or felt attracted to someone like this

What you're leaving behind-

I feel like people who chose this pile thought that over occupying themselves made them more mature, hardworking or efficent and you're actually leaving that behind. This left you drained. You're leaving behind the need to overcompensate for any failures or preconceived failures. I feel like people whose this pile feel like a disappointment, you think that if you take on more shit you will proove yourself to be a hard working, rational and responsible. You're leaving this behind or need to leave this behind in 2023. This is behavior of overcompensating and not self improvement. Your not a disappointment. Any setbacks or "failures" you had this year do not define your self worth but serve as lessons. Circling back to what I said about ultizing painful experiences as a resource, you need to look at any failures or setbacks you had this year as a lesson and not a punishment. Let go of overcompensating and learn from mistakes.

What's coming towards you

I feel like there was a petty, hostile or mentally distressing situation that you had to be around through obligation that is departing from your life. Online or irl situation, doesnt matter. I'm seeing you finally give up on trying to remain in this situation and holding back. It feels like you just give up on this entirely either because you're not obligated to be around it anymore or because it naturally dissipates. I see you finally being able to just relax and not have to be on guard anymore. Whatever this conflict was I'm seeing it leave and resolve in 2023. You no longer feel on guard or like you're gonna say the wrong thing and piss everyone off. You no longer feel like you have to stand your ground or fight for your place to be heard. This could have been a verbal bully, toxic reltionship/friendship, or just bad coworkers. Regardless this toxic and mentally distressing energy is leaving. If there isn't a toxic enrgy in your life that you can think of, this is you giving up on trying not to offend others or appease them. In 2023 you will be speaking your mind without feeling like you have to win every argument.

Pile two

What you learned/need to learn

This pile needed to learn to listen to their intuition when trying to make descions. In 2022 you got stuck in stalemate with yourself because you couldn't decipher what to do or where to go. you were logically trying to figure everything out but you had so much spinning and going on in your mind that it made it impossible. The whole time, the answer was within you, quietly answering you questions. You didn't know how to feel or what to think when it came to important things in 2022 because you didn't quiet your mind and listen to the part of you that already knew. This process is very hard. Intuition itself is difficult. But overall you learned this year that the answer is not always found when overthinking and frantically searching for answers. You cant google your way into intuition lol. This year you got too caught up in your head trying to figure things out but your mind is so disenfranchised and disorganized that it only lead you deeper into confusion or stalemate.

What you need to leave behind

There has been alot of unfair shit said to you this year or even way before that. Unresolved conflict, unsaid things, wrongs never righted, leaving this behind will serve you, not hurt you. Maybe you never got the last word, maybe you never got the apology you needed, but moving on with your life is not dependent on those things. I'm being shown that whomever this is was never gonna give you the closure or remorse you deserve. People are just cruel. The people who said awful shit to you did so because they knew you well and what would hurt you. they exploited your vulnerabilities and took action. They were cold and calculated. Leave their ass behind. Leave your anger and need for resolution behind. You don't need it. Everyone thinks that clairty will help them move on but the clairty they need is that healing is not dependent on someone else's remorse.

What's coming towards you

I'm seeing a sense of depression, displeasure or lack of purpose coming into your life because you might keep comparing your progress to other people's progress. I'm seeing you actually obtain alot of blessings and opportunities from your hard work next year, but never celebrating it or feeling good about it. You keep focusing on what you're doing wrong or what's not going right. In 2023 you have alot of success coming to you, you will build your own sanctuary and create alot of pathways towards success. You may be working independently, from home or generally by yourself and because of the solitary nature of your job, you feel sad and like you're not doing enough. Just know that it may because you're not around as much people. Depressive states are pointing to the possibility that you need to go out more and reconnect with people. you are enough. 

Pile three

What you learned/ need to learn

The lessons you learned this year had to do with your emotional reactions to people and needing to know when to withdraw, set back and let your feeling settle. When you are in an unstable emotional state, when you feel urgent, angry, distressed, your mind goes frantic. You feel disorganized and confused even. You learned or need to learn that in order to react appropriately to situations you need to take a step back and withdraw so that you can mentally get in order. When you get riled up, angry, hurt and confused you say or do shit that causes more hurt. You may have anger issues, issues with emotional immaturity, and you learned how important it was to take a step back and reframe situations before immediately reacting to them.

What you need to leave behind

Codependency. Some of you need to learn independence and not relying on people to make you successful, you have to work towards your goals. you have to egnerate self love, not find it. take the wheel and be in charge of your life direction. Be the leader of your own life. Relationships, parents, friends, or even god etc whoever it is is not gonna make you successful if you don't take charge and act. Leave behind the need for praise and approval. You don't need validation from other people, apart of the reason you are co dependent is because you want their approval and validation. This is your life, your independence is what matters not someone's approval. Your worth is inherent. You are worthy of everything and more. Your attachment to someone else does not define your worth. Some people are co dependent on a God to give them approval of their life choices, others are co dependent on tarot, a relationship, their parents even. You litterally don't need anyone else's approval, take the lead over your life. You make shit happen not other people

What's coming towards you

Alot of achievement. Your reading had some brutal honesty but I hope you stuck through because your 2023 year will be amazing. The work and effort you put into shit will pay off and reward you. I'm seeing alot of flexibility come into your life as well, your adaptability helps you graduate into the next step in life. The type of achievement I'm talking about is graduation, spiritual maturity, certificates, getting a good job/internship, degrees. I'm seeing you be cut to the throat, straight forward and strategic in 2023. This energy is very mental, you may come off as cold or uncaring in this time. But it's just because you're investing in your own success next year. You're not playing games or getting distracted, but at the same time you're giving yourself the room to have ups and downs.

[shesmore-shoebill]

consider: amanda flirts with angela in the most unhinged way, is half-joking bc she thinks she never has a chance but angela takes it seriously.

(as always, this is all in the fictional RPF universe and is not about/speculating on the actual people, even if im drawing from irl actions. At most its for the fictionalized versions of the online personas)

LOVE this concept for the RPF universe. I think I'm gonna go the angst route with this one bc I just- can't resist. Amanda in the position where she feels so strongly that the flirting and the comments slip out without her meaning to, and she's also so certain that it would never work that she just leans into it- takes it over the top. Constant. Wild and ridiculous, because she feels so strongly about it.

and Angela obviously is just kind of. In over her head because- what the fuck? Maybe she knows how she feels about Amanda and it just kind of feels like the universe playing a sick joke on her, because the flirting is so over the top it can't be real. Maybe she doesn't but she knows her insides get kind of coiled up whenever Amanda does it and she has to cling to her improv capabilities with both hands and try to play it off, bc if she thinks too hard about it, then- then-

So Angela doesnt really do it back 100%, or at some point, sometimes she starts bailing out of the bits earlier than she needs to, because she just- can't, can't keep it up as only a bit. Not when its just so much, and it seems to happen more and more often, and Angela can act, can act well, but its all just a little too real.

And Amanda, who is trying to not get her hopes up and is trying to outrun her feelings by treating it as a convoluted, extensive joke and doubling down on it as just a joke. Is, despite her best efforts: maybe dismayed that Angela doesn't quite reciprocate, or that Angela seems to be pulling away from the bits a bit. Even though this fake (""fake"") flirting shouldn't even matter, because its not real, haha, its so ridiculous. But if it were- at least when both of them were doing it, it was almost like having it, it was almost as good as the actual thing of- well- and now- and now-

If we really want to put RPF goggles on and use more recent thoughts we can really just. Linger on how Amanda always lunges towards coworkers for fake kiss bits and Angela doesn't stay put during those. Courtney would probably commit to the bit, I think Arasha would figure out a clever way to basically commit but pull some sleight of hand. But Angela pulls back instinctively because- no- no- what- she can't, not for a joke, not with her. And Amanda does it, just for the joke, just for the joke, improv is all about figuring out your partners instincts and calibrating for that, but then why does Angela pulling back make her feel like- that. Why does she keep trying. Why does it matter to her.

[surr3al1sm]

Just Dance Highscores I’m proud of

I don’t really talk about playing Just Dance on here because I play it a lot and don’t want to bother you guys with it every time but I just wanted to highlight some of the scores I’m proud of. All will be below the cut to not clog up your dash.

Disclaimer: Now I know that they probably aren’t the highest scores (or the hardest maps) you’ve ever seen BUT I still get to be proud of them (plus I have a coordination disorder so take that).

With that being said feel free to reblog and flex your scores on me. I wish to know them.

List time! Yippie!

🩷 The mega stars (aka the dances I dance to way too much) 🩷

⚡️Girlfriend - 13078 - The first song I 13k’d and still one of my favourite maps

⚡️Treasure - 12904 - I used to be really bad at Treasure compared to LooH, but they kind of flipped one day lol

While we’re on the topic

⚡️Locked out of Heaven - 12681 - The first map I actually took the time to learn the choreo for. Just need to figure out the tracking ig-

⚡️10.000 Luchtballonnen - 12810 - A dutch (Belgian technically) song. Probably the best K3 song on + and maybe even on unlimited.

⚡️Judas - 12699 - Come on, it’s Judas. Can you blame me for being proud.

⚡️Rasputin - 12699 - This is just what my (lack of) rizz has come to. Also may I refer back to the coordination disorder.

⚡️Levitating - 12566 - Si’Ha Nova my beloved 🫶

⚡️Can’t Tame Her - 12536 - LittleSiha, need I say more

⚡️Beggin’ - 12498 - I started out with consistently 3 starring this song and here we are now. Improvements people.

⚡️Disco Inferno - 12275 - I don’t care that its an easy difficulty: I have played this song exactly once. Let me be proud of my beginners luck.

🩵 The super stars (aka maps I am learning or am just mid at) 🩵

⚡️Therefore I Am - 11832 - This map takes a lot of coordination and balance that I do not have.

⚡️Physical - 11733 - As someone who was not active what so ever at the beginning of the year, being this decent at a map like this one is just pretty rewarding

⚡️Canned Heat - 11728 - It’s a Wanderlust song what can I say, we don’t mix well-

⚡️Dark Horse - 11344 - My friend had JD2015 growing up and the most I could get was 4 stars max when I used to play with her so this just heals my inner child.

⚡️Applause/Stage Version - 11307 - It’s an extreme. I am no where near properly touching extremes (like actually consistently doing them). Let me be proud.

⚡️Wannabe/Extreme Version - 11459 - Scored this while dancing against my Kpop friend. She knows the official choreo by heart.

⭐️ The 5 Stars (Songs I do every now and then and choreo’s I live laugh love without being good at them) ⭐️

⚡️Rock ‘n Roll - 10877 - I don’t know if it’s just me or if the tracking on this is just wierd but it’s the highest score I’ve gotten so far so I’m just gonna roll with it lol

⚡️Buttons - 10672 - This map is just difficult for me- idk why-

⚡️Bad Romance/official Choreo - 10521 - Slowly trying my best to learn this one. It’s hard.

⚡️Gimme More - 10421 - Agend D is probably one of my favourite coaches in the game but ngl this is one of the harder mediums imo.

⚡️Can’t Stop The Feeling/Danceverses Prince - 10051 - That I have beef with the smurfs choreo’s doesnt mean I can’t enjoy them and be proud of my scores. He’s just very fast okay-

Sorry for the long post again. It’s just a post I wanted to make for myself. Could I just have noted them down for myself? I already have. Sometimes you just wanna share stuff with the world okay? Before anyone says it 🤫 I know these aren’t the hardest maps out there. That doesn’t matter.

Again, feel free to reblog and flex your own scores. I love seeing people be proud of themselves for accomplishments!

[littlemissprettyprincess]

This is for everyone who seems to be "struggling" with states + what I can suggest + My success story.

-Have you ever been one of those people to reach "that moment" in manifestation where you wanted to be, even if you have never either it doesn't matter. You know how much of an outsider and annoyed/obsessive over loa when seeing other people succeed and couldnt really find what would work for me. Sounds like you, huh? You are not the only one, I'll tell you exactly how to get out of there + master your manifesting skills and a bit of self-concept.

The. answer. is. staring. right. at your face.............................................Yes.

"But anon, wdym by that??" What I mean is that notice how all of these people who post their success stories are in the state of easy/effortless manifestation. Like they mention how easy it is and how effective it is. Thats because of their state, they chose to occupy the state of someone who does the bare minimum in loa and still gets wtf they want. It doesnt matter how many times you repeat your affs, persist, mental diet, you wanna know why you waste energy doing that? Is because your occupying the state of "difficult manifesting", meaning you obsess over it, you try so hard but "nothing" comes, you feel you need to do the most to get it. Notice how all of these points I made fall under the state of "difficult manifestation"?? if you were in that state, those things I just mentioned would've been what you experience. Why?? BECAUSE YOU OCCUPIED THE STATE OF SOMEONE WHO ISNT SUCCESSFUL IN MANFESTING!!!

A thing I def reccomend when using states to manifest is to understand the 4D IS THE TRUE REALITY AND NOT THE 3D. Yes I know you're tired of hearing the same thing but now that you have a shifted paradigm on states, it should be easier. What I did was know that the 4d is the blueprint, kind of put it on the pedestal but not in the negative way. It was a way where I didn't ignore the 3d and affirm against it, but focused on my 4d and stuck with it. Because "ignoring the 3d and affirming agains it" simply implies that your 3d is filled with undesirable things and you affirm against it.

Cause trust me I've been there when I say living in my 4d was making me crazy, but you know why it did? Was because I looked at the 3d for validation/ didnt trust what my 4d is saying. It's kind of like y'know when you like a guy/girl and your friend warns you to stay away from that person but you get annoyed at them because you think what they're saying is bullshit?? Same thing applies. If you dont trust your 4d and realise it creates the 3d and is so much more powerful than what you experience, when will living in the end ever be a fullfilling thing to do? Get it? "Fullfilled" LMFAOO I'm so hilarious, but enough of my corny jokes. Heres a summary

-Be in the state of someone who is a master at manifesting/self concept etc.

-Know that your 4d creates everything, when its done in your 4d, its done in 3d, a simple way to put this is just live in your mind because when you realise that, you change your imagination, you change your reality and there is so much power in knowing that.

-ANNDDD THENNN you can apply everything else like persisting, repeating affs etc.

I got perfect self-concept doing this, like I got compliments today and I felt so confident, I love the way I'm so pretty, like why am I so perfect and gorgeous?

I manifested many straight niggas to like me at my school (im black and gay) let me tell you!!! a nigga stopped and walked back and stared at me to see "Damn who is that??" I was laughing so hard.

Overall my life has improved, I get things to go my way and yeah. thats about my successes. I might start a blog but because of how disrespectful anons are Idk if I should.

-tysm lovies, stay hot nd mysterious, and know how powerful you are!!!! stop wavering!!!!!

omg, thank you so much for sharing this ! i hope this helps some people ! ♡

[onejellyfishplease]

I am all about constructive criticism. I mean, how am I supposed to get better at writing/drawing if people won't be honest with me and give me tips to get better. I personally think that people who can't take constructive criticism aren't very bright. How are they supposed to get better at things if they don't listen to others who are just trying to guide them?

Also, I would love some more tips on how to make the shell better. If you are willing, of course. :)

I am horrible at drawing. I usually have to trace things to get a decent drawing. (For instance, I traced like five different things to make Mikey a pony.)

I'm so much better at coloring than I am at drawing. My writing needs work, too, but I'm getting better.

First of all, can I just say that you shouldnt worry about tracing art to improve your own (as long as u aren't posting it as soley your own but thats a whole other rabbit hole) I did too! It helps build ground work for a good understanding of anatomy and poses.

However there are a few holes in tracing. Forst of all it is quite limiting in the outcome of your work, as your art is stuck static in one pose. this can alkost hinder your ability to see things in '3D' and visualise objects for multiple angles. it can also lead to 'skin wrapping' , which i think is the hole you fell into here (and also a term i just made up now)

with the shell, you only coloured it within Mikey's trace lines - this caused the shell to loose a lot of its mass - making it look, quite frankly, not like a shell.

a way to improve on this is to look at more references of Mikey's shell in the show and its shape from different angles. this can help you get a good idea of how it should look, and it is a good idea to practice drawing it from these angles. this will improve your ability to think in a 3D space, (which is so darn hard, but seriously useful)

however, and you may have noticed this yourself, when you add new additions to the figure, the line art just doesnt line up! the line quality is different!

This is because the line you have done for the addition is Your Line. And we love your line.

so lets make the rest of the traced lineart fit into your style, instead of you fitting yours into theirs okay?

You may notice that when you trace art, the line work is just not the same, the lines are shakier than the original and it just doesn't look as good. this is not a reflection of your skill.

It is because, usually, (at least when I did it) you follow the original line so closely that it turns out shaky, probably taking your pen off the page a few times to take a break from the oen stroke. while the original artist did that line in one sweeping stroke.

a way to fix this, and make the line arr cleaner and more you, is to instead use the drawing as a very close reference. for example:

instead of tracing the exact lines of the art, merely trace the general shapes of the art. not only then do you add your own flair and gesture to the drawing, you are then more free to add more shapes to this sketch.

You can still use the reference drawing as closly as you want, but try to focus less on getting the exact lines copied, and more on the general shape. you linework wont be perfect the first time, it might be really messy compared to your usual tracing, and thats fine! you should see some of my sketches before i refine them!

But these will be your lines, theyll be smoother and more gestural, and overtime you will get better control over your penstrokes doing this.

Okay I cant really think of anymore to add here, I hope this helps! i think this was just one big word vomit lol. Keep drawing!! cause no matter what you do, as long as you are actively drawing you are always improving! dont be afraid to push yourself out of you comfort zone! who cares if it doesnt turn out the way you wanted it to? Its your art, You Created That with your Own Hands, and I think that is amazing.

<3

[thewonderingbard]

Hello hello, what do you think the skeletons would be like as teachers? Your choice on who and how many <3

Thank you for requesting!

------------------

Undertale Sans - Vanilla

He would be a physics teacher

He does not mind students falling asleep in his classes.He also doesnt mind students eating in his class either as long as they share.Forgot a homework assignment?HA! He doesnt assign homework.Mainly because he does not want to be stuck marking MORE stuff.Is not strict at all.But can be quite scary when he wants to be.He lets student go to the toilet during class.He is pretty nice to talk to aswell if you have any problems and is funny in class.

Undertale Papyrus - Paps

A food technology teacher.

Allows students to eat what they make.If a student does something wrong in their food .DO NOT WORRY.As Mr Paps always finds away to an improve a dish.Makes tea and coffee for the student who have to stay after school for some reason.He also regularly takes student out of classes if he knows a student does not like a teacher or just to check up on them if they were not feeling well last period.He helps Papaya teach first aid.Student often go to him if there is an ongoing argument going on as Paps always manages to make people friends again no matter what.

Underswap Sans - Blue

A maths/PE teacher

He does both lessons!However in maths he doesnt really know what he is talking about , he just hopes the slideshow teaches the students he just has to read it out.In PE he is more in his element.He doesnt force students to take part in PE but atleast whats them to try once at what he is teaching.Students find him fun but are a hit scared of him when they heard him shouting at a misbehaving student,Blue has a scary shouting voice.Allows student to wear coats indoors.

Underswap Papyrus - Honey

A computing teacher

Do not worry if you have forgotten your password he will reset it for you! Is one of the chillest teachers in the school.He doesnt give homework and the class work he does is easy.He want to make sure his students understand what they are doing so he offers an afterschool computing club.(in reality it’s just playing games on the computers).He also doesnt mide students sleeping in class.He lets students in his room at lunch just so they can sleep.He also has the habit of giving out stickers to absolutely everyone.Students who are in his class leave with 5 stickers each.

Underfell Sans - Red

He is a cover teacher.

Red is the sub everyone hopes for because they know its going to be a fun lesson.He allows phones out ,students eating and sleeping ,students going to the toilet and wearing coat indoors.Most of the time he doesn’t even teach anything!He just sits there lying back on his chair and talking to students.When he does teach he make sure its something fun.If it is not than he will make it fun.Has been seen asleep in a classroom multiple times..

Underfell Papyrus - Edge

He would be a history teacher

He is one of those teachers where if you didnt choose his class that he is stricter with you.His students love him but everyone else hates him.He has a thing for scaring 1st years.In his class if you finish early he will allow you just to chat.He knows all the drama between every on.Inside and outside of school.HE may act strict but he is nice when he wants.If his class is tired because they had a tough PE lesson they he will put on a historical movie.He regularly uses mugs students have gotten him.He is the most strict teacher,you can hear him shouting at misbehaving students down the then hall. Have to admit if his class door is left open you can hear him teaching form down the hall.

Horrortale Sans - Seaweed

He is an art teacher.

1st years often find Seaweed scary at first before they realise that he is just a big softey. He has to be reminded constantly by students what he is doing but most studenst dont mind as he is a really kind teacher. He to has snacks in his classroom and is fine eating with students in his room as well.In fact in stead of saying “good morning” to students, he makes sure they have eaten and if they havent we he will give them a snack and some water.It takes him a bit to remember names but he eventually gets them.Student’s art hangs proudly around his room and he even takes them home sometimes.

Horrortale Papyrus - Papaya

He is an english teacher

He sometimes teaches classes on first aid. He is the nicest of all the teachers but he is really kind to those students who have illnesses and disabilities. In his room, there are draws with snacks and water if a student needs it. (He also has a draw full of pads and tampons just incase.)He allows students to eat in his room at lunch , becasue of this he knows all the drama that goes on inbetween students.In return he tells the students drama about the other teachers in the school. Cries when his students leave school. Papaya is the teacher you go to if you wanna go home early as he will just call your parents to make sure that is okay and if it is not you can just chill with him.

------------------

Based off some teachers from my school :)

-Morganna

[arundolyn]

do you mind if i ask how you rip guilty gear animations? ive been wanting to get into ripping however there are very limited resources and few accounts are active that still rip. advice is very appreciated, thank you:)

just realized how stupid long this got right before posting so . cut

the way i do it for strive is, via unverum just for ease of use bc you can flip mod on/off at will before opening the game, get the mods that change the background of ajatar hunting ground to black/green/blue (i think it's by ultima?) and use the color of your choice (usually i use blue because black can screw with the outlines and green can cause weird lighting issues. blue can as well but it seems the least invasive of all of them to me, you can only really notice on stuff like zato bc eddie comes out sorta bluish bc he's translucent. there may be mods to help with that kind of thing but i havent looked)

pick whatever characters you want and go to training mode (unless you need something specific, like win/lose poses, of course. if it has to be during a fight you can just go to local vs with a controller and make the other character your keyboard so you dont actually have to fight) and record with OBS. pick whatever settings you think look best graphically both in strive and on OBS, idk if i can advise with those choices too well bc my hardware is beefy enough to handle max settings for stuff, ymmv

after recording, go to photoshop (doesnt matter what version, mine is ancient and ill gotten gains ive had for years. find your means. use something similar. idk) just drag the video in (no need to import it any special way) and literally just. go frame by frame copying the stuff from the animation you want into a new file and after you have all the frames go and erase it by hand. i usually use the magic eraser thing on around 50 tolerance (may need to be adjusted at times) and with anti aliasing (just cause i like the outlines not to be smooth, that also can make the "sprites" transparent and have an ugly white outline around it in gifs, do whatever you think looks good) and contiguous unchecked (contiguous just so that you dont have to go around clicking every blue/green/black spot individually, as that takes much longer. sometimes this cant be avoided, like if your character has colors too close to the background or an effect you want to keep is too close to the background color youre erasing)

additional mods i use at times are ones that turn certain characters im not focusing on invisible (like chipp or i-no, cant remember who made that one) just so i dont have to worry about cropping around another character if they do an idle animation or something, and theres one that disables lighting effects (like gio's glowies when she has full meter, or certain moves like baiken's dust or tsurane sanzu watashi) so that the gifs look nicer devoid of the like... engine based context. of that makes sense

as for XRD, i used to use a cheat table camera mod for rev that was kinda adapted from the one for sign, but since the rollback update it looks like its broken and i dont think anyone has cared much to fix it, but also havent had the time to mess around with it myself. the sign one might still work? theres a reddit thread with it out there somewhere still i think. be warned re: sign tho bc the models are kinda janky and lower quality, which probably isnt noticeable to most people but its definitely glaring to me when i moved from sign to rev. they did some major improvements on like everyone in rev

last but not least, a word of caution regarding certain things. i'd warn against trying to do any overdrives or anything that has a superflash (when the camera focuses on the character using a move, usually, like jack-o's forever elysion driver) or the strive pre move cutscene things (like baiken's tsurane sanzu watashi) as well as intro/outro cutscenes, since making them transparent not only will be a pain in the ass but probably would look weird due to the camera movement + lack of background. same goes for stuff like bursts or walk/run cycles where the character moves significantly and the camera angle might change, since not only will it be a bitch to line up correctly so it loops properly, but if the character's location or the camera angle changes it might end up looking off because the model is being viewed from a slightly different angle. not sure how obvious that would be to someone who didnt Do it but ive learned that through trial and error. might also just be perfectionism on my part. id usually get around this on xrd with the cheat table bc you could lock the model in place (but it would still move technically, which was nice if you didnt want effects like the little dust clouds when you dash getting in the way) but ive never seen anything similar for strive. from what i know it should be possible for sure, just slightly tricky to some extent and i dont really know how one would go about doing that or have the time to learn. the console for UE is locked in strive and idk if theres a way to unlock it, but that would potentially be a way to freeze models in place quick and dirty if necessary. there ARE a few camera mods out there for strive, but any model freezing aspects are just like.. full game pause, not frozen in place.

hope this is comprehensive enough to help somewhat. have a slayer

[chidoroki]

the saddest thing with Isabella is that she couldn't have acted differently with Ray. Because what Ray expected? That Isabella doesn't shipp any kids? she would have been replaced immediatly by another mama who wouldn't have hesitated (and goodbye evasion plan for Ray because rip the deal). That she made a different choice at 12? He wouldn't exist then and Norman and Emma would have never knew and would have died.

And if she had dote on him? Consedering that escaping is almost impossible? She already love him when he tried to not, so if she had even not tried to keep her distance? It would have been so painful for her to know that his 12th birthday was coming, that his time was becoming shorter every year. She could have helped him to prepare the escape, sure....but outside that?!

And Ray, if he didn't know about the heart chip, could have thought "mama will come with us" but to learn the truth (that she CAN'T go out of Grace field) at the moment of the escape. It would absolutly DESTROY him. He's already in tears when she die, when he also tried to not be attached to her, so if they had had a real mother-son relation? The guilt. And i don't think that he would have ever forgiven to the demon or the ratri clan. (bonus, Isabella still becomes grandma and doesnt' die)

If Ray knows about the chip. Well it would be hard for him to know that they will have to leave her behind, knowing that it will be only death for her as punishment. He would probably try to create a device for the chip like he create on for the trackers but would maybe have failed. (imagine a Au where he success and Isabella escape with all the kids of their orphenage. RIP Yuugo, he would be tamed in 5 secondes. Isabella would scold Ray when he would return after three weeks post goldy pound "your grounded young man" "what but i didn't do anything wrong" "you risked your life...again")

But in both situation, Isaballa would still have to shipp kids, because she has no choice in the matter. she can just give her children more time by making them as smart than possible and even so she is forced to give one by month (or every 2 months). Ray would probably understand that she is as much a prisonner than them. (because the mama and sister ARE prisonners too. Bold of the kids to assume they have any choice)

I wanna say that Isabella treated him the same just as any other kid before she found out that he was her son. The level of affection changed afterwards so she wouldn’t get too attached to him once the time came for him to get shipped out and Ray’s deal definitely helped put their mother-son relationship off to the side. Of course if she showed him any sort of favoritism, it would’ve put her own survival in jeopardy, as well as his. But I think even without Ray, Norman would’ve been sent off to Lambda regardless. No matter if Isabella was the caretaker or not, Norman was too good of a meal to pass up. Emma on the other hand.. it depends. Ray did help improve her test scores to ensure she stays alive longer, so in this case, the deciding factor is whether or not Ray would’ve still been around at that point if Isabella doted on him and how that would possibly ruin their own chances of living.

I’m sure the idea of Ray’s 12th birthday drawing closer was painful for Isabella to come to terms with. Deep down. Where not even we would see it because she’s just that good at hiding her emotions. I dunno if she would’ve helped them outright with the escape. It would be problematic if Krone was still plotting her downfall and surely Isabella would also know that an escape would be too troublesome for the babies. She would’ve had to given up on living at that point to even consider helping Ray & the others escape, and with how much she values her own survival and the reputation she has, I dunno how easy that would’ve been for her to give up for someone else’s sake. She eventually helps them out in canon by retrieving the ropes, if only to grant the escapees more time to run further away from the plant before the pursuers catch onto them, but that’s only after she admits defeat and knew she was a good as dead anyway for letting such valuable merchandise escape.

Granted, Ray wasn’t around the other four when they learned about the heart chip from Krone, but I’m sure they must have told him. I dunno if he would’ve be devastated upon learning that Isabella couldn’t leave the farm, at least not during the early arcs. His complicated feelings for her remained with him throughout the whole story (like how he acted during the Seven Walls for example) right up until the Grace Field raid, pretty much after she betrayed Peter. Could he have reached that level of trust/love with her if she had helped them out two years prior during their time at Grace Field? Perhaps. Can’t say for certain. That boy has a lot of emotions buried deep about his mother and I’m sure all that time he spent outside the wall with Emma & the rest of his family softened up his heart a bit.

I could see him creating another device to disable the heart chip. Not sure how successful he would be with the limited access to supplies found at Grace Field and what can be imported from the outside world, but if anyone could do it, Ray could manage. Somehow. Another issue could be how well the device itself would work on said chip.. like the chip in the children’s ear? Those were easy to pinpoint since you could still feel it. The farm makes the moms/sisters undergo surgery to implant that heart chip though, so without knowing its exact location, you wouldn’t want to activate a literal taser near someone’s heart and miss your target, ya know?

Oh my god, a world where Isabella and Yuugo would meet though.. take all my hell yeahs! You’re absolutely right that Isabella would put him in his place in no time flat. Ain’t no way she would let him threaten her precious children! As much as the idea of Isabella at Goldy Pond makes my heart go crazy (just imagine! her vs Leuvis! or better yet, her wearing something other than those darn caretaker/grandma dresses!), she would most likely stay behind with the kids at the bunker to keep them safe. She would totally scold Ray upon his return from GP though, and maybe Emma too.. once she wakes up from the coma anyways.

Mhhhhmm, she teaches the children real well as it is to help them live longer lives. That’s a given. Understanding that she, as well as the other moms & sisters, are just as much victims as the children are under this farm system is definitely something Ray sympathizes with and no doubt one of the reasons why he ends up forgiving her.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope you have a great rest of your day/night!