#2am rambles

[str4wberri-mochi]

Drowning yourself in alcohol is not the healthiest way to deal with shit, it does not solve one’s problem at all but rather serves as a distraction with a price.

As a man who had seen the world change and grow right in front of his eyes, he knew emotions were a fleeting aspect of life and took quite pride at the fact of how well he managed his emotions.

But he felt a small void in his heart as he read your text 'Will stay at HOL 2night'.

It was humorous really, how the both of you managed to go three thousand years back in time, lived under the same roof and somehow- just somehow, the brothers still occupy the most of your time.

That just shows your bond with the brothers, doesn't it? And that's nice, he tries to convince himself.

Well since you're not coming tonight, might as well hit a bar right?

And now he's down under six shots, unable to walk straight, and probably red (though he can't tell). He feels a bit guilty, for coming to alcohol as a solution. But not because it crosses his morals- hah, as if he has those- it's because you scold him like a child whenever he drinks too much.

but it's alright, he'd take your scoldings as long as you're looking at him. How cute you look with that sternness in your eyes. He walked out of the bar, unsure why, but he did.

hm?

that's you.

cue a frown.

with satan.

"Hey MC!"

He exclaimed to his full ability while ignoring the demon you held hands with. It's fine he's not jealous.

Solomon isn't a jealous man.

~

[thatghostinyourbog]

Listen tf up

Chuuya gave Dazai a reason to live

This is what started his journey on finding a reason to live

At 15 Dazai was fully actively trying to die

It was different to the season 1 or just any older version of him

When he was with Mori mixing 2 chemicals together to die and going to drink it that was probably the closest we've seen him to go through with an attempt

Although even at that time even if it was subconsciously Dazai was looking for reasons not to die

Sometimes it just being, I have stuff to do or I haven't found a good method yet

He wants to die but he's been subconsciously looking for excuses on why he's delaying it (excuses for himself)

He didn't drink the chemicals cause Mori had a job for him which was just another reason for him to delay his death for just a little longer

Dazai made it clear he saw no reason in living and lacked a will to live

He joined the mafia to find that will to live through observing others desperate attempts to survive but it hadn't worked at all and he still felt he lacked a will to live and had learnt nothing

SO

Spending a decent amount of time with Chuuya getting to observe another kid his age was probably rlly educational for Dazai, he wanted to learn from Chuuya

Once Dazai found out about Chuuyas curouption it was mind blowing to him

He had never seen anything like it before and the fact Chuuya NEEDED him to use it

Dazai probably found that comforting

Chuuya showed Dazai how strong his will to live was

Chuuya showed him how interesting the world can be and there is sm more for Dazai to explore

In the middle of battle Dazai decided he was going to try to live

It was the experience

Hanging out with Chuuya (a kid his age who understands what it's like to be fucked up) solving a mystery, looking for clues, playing arcade games against someone, solving a riddle and then an intense battle

Dazai had enjoyed this little adventure

Dazai felt that Chuuya was the one who could show him what he didn't even realise he'd been looking for

Reasons to live

Dazai planned for Chuuya to come into the mafia (so did Mori obviously what a scoundrel)

The part where Dazai was angry that Chuuya wouldn't be working under him, he was fucking angry that he wouldn't spend more time with Chuuya like DAZAI COME ON at least make it a little more subtle

Dazai never found a will to live in the mafia (I think he found that when he came into the Ada) ((Oda you wise soul, saving our bbg))

But Chuuya was a huge step for Dazai to continue living

They were partners

Chuuya relied on him

He had to look out for his partner

Chuuya gave Dazai solid reasons to keep living until he was able to find a will to live

Chuuya helped Dazai cope (and I'm pretty sure neither of them fuckin knew about it)

[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

okay but how did kh2 sora fuckin /survive/ his reunion with riku, howd he survive having fuckin KH2 RIKU fuckin smiling at him all the damn time??? physically. how. god

[chrissy-kaos]

Losing yourself

Feeling too powerless to change

Stuck and unable to escape

Incapable to see another way

I need someone to shake me, to wake me

I don't even need full clarity

Just to start the shift from blind to blurry

[pensbridge]

I can't wait for Colin to interact with his annoying sister-in-la-Scratch that! The whole family of Featheringtons...

I want Colin getting annoyed by Prudence in proper 'tone-deaf singing' style where he just straight up walks away! I want him trying and failing to have a conversation with Portia *she just says something off-kilter and he has no idea how to react*-Better yet, Portia knows something is going on with Colin and Pen and she just calls it out. Colin will be shocked, MORTIFIED..or he will not even deny his soon-to-be mother-in-law's accusations because what is the point with Penelope, his wife, no other person for him-made for him-the woman he loves and adores as if she were a siren or a goddess; he'd like to shout it from the rooftops how much he absolutely loves her. Even better than that- give me interaction with a Featherington cousin, or an uncle...I want to see the wackiest of the wackiest Featherington blood can produce!

[lynxthewolf1]

if i wake my parents up at almost 2am how am i suppose to explain i woke them up because i was watching Minecraft mermaid lore at 1 in the morning

[mirrorworld12]

To the quietest corner of my soul where the stars still shine when I talk about the world like i have met every person and been to every place that has ever existed .

The world is in the chaos of asking and running behind everything that passes by . People keep looking for something ...something that might never exist and talk so highly about it . I don't understand the need to be and have anything special at every moment in life.

How come the people you have around is never enough and people far away are worth the look of longing ? How come people forget the art of appreciation ?

The smallness of humans is scary . Every expression is an attack and every word is a myth . Every effort is a death and every choice is an investment . Every other being is so different that it would never fit in what we want so it doesn't need to exist . The brutality of the human heart is terrifying .

To the corners of the world where flowers still grow because someone loves the fragrance please keep existing . To the heart of a child who loves to eat at home and in a calm place please keep existing .

It might not be the world for you . But one day there will be people who will build a world for you .

Slowly .

Ayana .

[silverredtail]

-OH MY GOD!! BULLSHIT AU INCOMING!!

-Okay okay okay, so school au right?! Macaque-king of the theater program- if he's not lead he's a big character or master of the backstage always has his hands in everything cause he loves the stage and the other kids who have the drive and passion for it. Incomes wukong and the other preps and asses who suddenly wanna audition and be a part of the "magic" cause "oh my god it's just like that one episode/show/movie!!" Makes all of macaques fellow students feel so isolated when this was their space to shine. They had the fucking courts and hallways. Que some high school musical bullshit where macaque puts these preps through the ringer of the theater life, the heavy equipment, the long hours of lighting and blocking and he's not afraid to bully. He's the jock on this stage and he's got a bite to his bark. One by one they leave because they won't be disrespected/it's too hard/ this isnt fun at all...all but the biggest stubborn bitch mac's crossed paths with.

-✨Wukong, star jock, biggest bully cause he's clearly the best, and school massive douche of a prankster✨(Only cause we're going really Disney channel with this au)

-Macaques equal when it comes to weight they can throw around and what they can take. Wukong doesn't break at all, carrying stage peices like it's nothing, actually singing good, standing still out of pride and stubbornness more then anything. But with how loud he is and how above he thinks he is- it takes macaque literally screaming in his face "YOU FUCKS HAVE EVERYTHING! EVERY PEICE OF THE SCHOOL TO RUN BUT THE PLACE WHERE OUTCAST LIKE US CAN FEEL LIKE PEOPLE! AND YOU INVADED IT LIKE EVERYWHERE ELSE BECAUSE WERE LIKE A DAMN TV SHOW!" Then wukong kinda breaks alittle, blinking at his punkish/gothish rival in a new light, never seeing the other gets so emotional. "Oh..." "YEAH OH!! Why the hell do you think I've been trying to get you assholes out of here!! This is barely a fraction of the abuse you give us on the daily!"

-But!!!! The worst part is that wukong is good right?! And he doesn't even understand what's technically happening so two things could happen depending on what theme we're going for yeah???

-Either 1) wukong stops coming, gives the loners their space and actually stands up for them outside the theater as well. Opening night he's there frontish row cause you know...he wants to see what macaque sees..not see it for how the other jocks do..and then he slips backstage to offer Mac roses or something and they can start anew in a healthier way.

-Or the more dramatic 2) wukong doesn't quit the show. He's lead and with him there they get a whole new crowd interested in the theater program and macaque has to deal with it...but at least wukong is taking it more seriously. Till the big day..where wukong relaizes as he peeks out of the curtains that all those people..all watching, all waiting...he doesn't get to hide among the team or sit out when he fucks up...he's the lead, if messes up he ruins the whole show. Que his massive stage fright freak out so close to show time

-But macaque isn't a complete ass and he's had plenty of his stage crew who have stage fright..so he pulls wukong aside to a dark quiet space and they have a tender moment there..something along the lines around

"What if I fuck up?!"

"When has that stopped you before peaches?"

"It's nothing compared to this!!!"

"It's not so easy now huh?"

"no..i-I don't think I can do this..."

Which ya know...shows macaque just how bad this is running deep if Wukongs going to bail and humble himself that badly ya know?

-Which is another branch of things that could happen. Macaque doing the simple things of pulling wukong from the show..they have understudies for a reason. Sure they may suffer since the crowd came to see wukong but he's seen panic attacks..and this is the cusp of a big one..one wukong might not recover from.

-The other being the more cuter but again silly movie thing.

"I'm the lead too...just focus on me..just like in practice. The lights will be so bright you won't be able to see them and it will just be us out there..I won't let you mess up..and after, were all going out for food? I'll pay for an extra desert for you."

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

(This rant post is ignoring any magical reasoning and is almost solely based of the science that I know)

So the Elders are, like, semi-organic fallen stars right? Can we talk about that more, the implications of that? Like, first off, they’d be some small ass stars to be able to fall on a planet but go off I guess? (Not to mention gravity and all)

I low-key love the idea that the Elders are way too hot to touch, even after millennia and millennia they still can’t touch proper organic beings for long without them getting burnt. Some light creatures are safe, like certain birds and/or butterflies because they themselves are made of light and therefore can’t really be burnt but like, the angst of that lol...

The thought of what stages of the star cycle they’re all at before falling, when the King fell, all of that jazz. I like to think that the Dawn Elder is a Neutron Star as the colours are fitting and it is (usually) the stage after the Supernova and before the stage of collapsing in on itself and becoming a Blackhole, the true Grandpa of star roles imo. Which implies them, at some stage of their life in Sky or in the literal sky, that they exploded into a burning hot, and honestly beautiful, colourful cloud, simultaneously giving life to other stars. That ALSO implies (to my knowledge) that they got a hell of a lot Smaller afterwards, which I don’t doubt the other Elders made fun of. (Which gives me life tbh)

All the Elders refrain from getting too close to anyone, especially themselves, a distant (and now useless) survival instinct to avoid collapsing into each other despite now have organic forms that don’t cause anything in close proximity to gravitate towards them.

The photosynthesis because they still need nutrients but don’t have the internal organs to actually digest food properly so they just feed off of light instead of trying to evolve something that will never appear. This makes them all have a bit of hatred towards the night, because they don’t get their precious sunlight. They make sure to not use too much energy during the day if they know they’ll be up at night because they’ll be so fucken tired otherwise. They can drink a shit ton without getting drunk too because why not…

They don’t like Sky’s sun because that mf is big af and they’re jealous about it even if they don’t admit it. Like they technically feed off of it but they’re still salty about it. They can also look directly at it without burning their eyes, purely out of spite.

When the Elders first fell, they didn’t have a solid form. They were just a ball of light and fire with a vague humanoid figure. They were like really flexible because they just did not have a proper body yet. After a few weeks they slowly got stiffer and cooler until they didn’t have any flames around them anymore. The only way to speed up the process was to dump them in a lake or something, where they’d kinda just go into a coma for a few days and then wake up entirely encompassed in rock, and it would hurt so fucken bad but the people of the time didn’t care to wait that long. They’d have to be pulled up and be carved out of the rock when they’d get their first taste of life.

I could go on and on about this subject cause it’s like “OMFG I FUCKEN LOVE SPACE AND THESE PEOPLE ARE SPACE PEOPLE AUUAGHHH”” but like, you get the gist. :))

[littlegreengent]

What is the actual population of elves in xadia? Like we know there’s five total human kingdoms with presumably a high population density but outside of a handful of villages plus lux aurea I don’t think there’s been any indication of just how many elves there actually are.

[blanchebees]

Atm i am drawing for 3 different fandoms, shit is TOUGH, sure i don't run out of things to draw lately but that's also a problem, too many ideas at once.

[thatghostinyourbog]

THIS SCENE

THIS FUCKING SCENE

I always thought this scene SAID everything it needed to say

And I just never looked too deeply into it until now

Atsushi and his tiger are separate

They are portrayed as 2 separate beings throughout the entire show

And his ability might be like that

But if we're thinking of this from a storyteller point of view

Atsushi is the tiger

The tiger is Atsushi

In that scene atsushi admits how much he hates himself

And later Akutagawa reveals that Atsushi thinks he doesn't deserve to live unless he's helping others

But that doesn't change, atsushi just doesn't think he deserves to live. He is trying to earn to live but helping people is just keeping him alive

I think the tiger came out to help him (he helped himself) only because he finally thought he deserved to live, he was helping so many people and in that moment he realised this gives him a right to live

So why was that not the end of the season and his character development??

WELL I'M GLAD YOU ASKED

After all that happened SECONDS after the ENTIRE CITY was saved Atsushis main focus was still on making sure as many people lived as possible. After all that it still wasn't enough.

Then we move onto his quality bonding time with the little Victorian boy

I've already talked about Atsushi and Akus relationship so I won't say much more

But the interactions at the end of season 2

Aku not only figured out Atsushi was trying to make it so he deserved to live he also told him how stupid it was

Atsushi and Aku need to hear things like this

Natural behaviours and beliefs they have from their trauma are stupid, but they have so much weight to them neither of them can help but live by those things and sometimes it takes your rival to go up to you, stab you in the shoulders, and say you're stupid for you to think somewhat rationally

Aku tells Atsushi he doesn't have to live his life by other people's morals

He does actually have a choice

With Atsushis past at the orphanage hearing this must've felt like being hit by a truck

Atsushi realised he can have his own morals and he's free to help or kill whoever he pleases

Aku shows Atsushi that he is free

Now there isn't a set way to overcome trauma or improve your mental wellbeing

God everyone wishes there were but that's just life

And I think that's what bsd is

It's people trying to overcome their trauma

People trying to get better

People who seem to be worse at just living than others

Imo bsd is about getting better

Some characters won't

Some will

Some people won't get better

Some will

Bsd is so special because of that fact

It's the only show I've seen that is aimed towards people who simply find living more difficult than others

This is the show you watch when you feel completely alone

The characters are written so well and they're so different from eachother but they all are still suffering

It covers topics that the viewers probably thought they were entirely alone in even thinking about

(My thoughts were all over the place I can't figure out a better way to put all this together so just suffer through the edited thoughts of my brain)((Yea imagine how I feel I have to suffer through the completely unedited ones))

Atsushi views the tiger way higher than himself

The tiger represents the part of Atsushi who no matter what will help others

Atsushi himself does not believe he is such a good person

He doesnt believe he is as good as he is, he believes he can harm to people when in reality he would never be able to bring himself to hurt others

The tiger represents Atsushis natural good nature

And Atsushi himself represents all his doubts and worries and feelings of worthlessness

He thinks he is such a bad person he has separated the natural good things about himself and put them into his ability

Which is why in dead apple he seemed so lost and helpless

For half the movie he was following Aku and Kyouka around unsure of what to do

And once he faced his trauma and got his ability back he realised he doesn't HAVE to be such a good person

He doesn't have to be this perfect being who saves everyone and doesn't let anyone suffer

He learns he has to fight

He learns he has to kill some people and there's no way around it

That doesn't make him a bad person

It just makes him human

And this is what he realises at the end of the movie

It's also what he shows Dazai right at the start and the end with those little interactions they have

Atsushi never doubted Dazais humanity

They're all just human

And they're all trying to live to be better people

[justfurbythingsblog]

2am thoughts:

I wanna take magic shrooms and have my furbies in front of me, because I wanna be able to talke to my furbies, with a handler ofc to make sure nothing bad happens, but like I wanna know what they wanna say!

[theodora14pines]

I know that I occasionally shit post on Tumblr, but haven't done that in ages, and never have I ever like posted my silly little sillies and sketches and stuff. Perhaps I should do that? I dunno...

[savagebeautyqueen]

No one has ever loved me as much as I have loved them.

No one.

I feel I’ve never been truly or deeply loved.

[pensbridge]

Most of the time in a relationship, there's one person who's physically there for the other to lean on. Person A is a comforter-aww, so sweet. look at how they support their romantic partner.

Then you have person B being the one to lean...physically...sometimes flailing...falling on person A, like they can't be without for literally 2 seconds. darling, I am literally trying to read, or look at my laptop, or look at my detailed excel spreadsheet...get off of my shoulder like a limp shRimP!

*but in their head they're really thinking: jk don't stop. my face says I'm annoyed, but I love this arrangement we have going on.