#even tho i have good relations with my family and parents now those times can never be forgotten

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[rainofthetwilight]

honestly, when i first saw sora's backstory, i didnt react much, but now im noticing everything and its just really sad to think about

see this little kid who was full of hope? see this girl, that was just an innocent kid full of life, having that one role model that every kid had in some point of their lives?

this girl was then stripped away from everything she loved the moment she realized the truth, that this "role model" of hers was abusing poor innocent creatures, that their people have been brainwashed by this so-called emperess she actually used to follow, having your own parents shun you and take away everything you had and isolate you just because you knew the truth, and said truth wasnt just something bad, no, it was a fucking nightmare to think about, imagine taking that all in at 10

if the merge never happend, she would've been stuck in that sucker of a realm her whole life. she wouldve never been able to continue her childhood, her love for tech, nothing just absolutely nothing. she wouldve been locked away and alone forever, she wouldnt even have her own family by her side

the fact she didnt even hesitate to leave when the merge happend is heartbreaking, she was so fucking young, and was treated so poorly by everyone. imagine staying like that for probably months. she even named herself after that freaking dragon to respect her.

and as someone who actually experienced what sora had to endure when i was a kid, being shunned by my family for nearly a year during that time, i just have to point out that:

ana and sora are two completely different charcters.

when ana left, she became sora. a completely new person that was an ending with a new beginning, seeds that became remenants.

I know alot of people will disagree with me and say that lloyd had a tougher backstory, or maybe harumi, etc, but every charcter experienced something the other wouldnt handle, making no tragedy rougher than the other

i have nothing else to say but..damn

[azure-cherie]

𝑷𝑨𝑪 : 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇

Pile - 1-2-3

Please choose with your intuition. Only take what you can relate to as this is a general reading

🕊️Masterlist

🕊️Paid services

❦︎𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 1:

Hii dear pile 1 I hope yall have been well . No matter how much you like to be in the shades or how much you are of an introvert , did you know that you make n excellent leader , that under your guidance, finest of the lillies shall bloom . You might think that you ar a thinker but my dear , your gut feelings are stronger and lead you better , you better start acknowledging them , don’t lose your command on who you actually are , your gift can save you . You're well balanced , being a little more organised is something you really wanted to be for a long time, and you don’t have to sabotage yourself thinking youre not already , you are really doing good and you will continue to do it , sometimes its okay to leave room for unpredictability . You sometimes feel scared of things , get into the depth of this matter , is this coming from an older thought you have . Are you letting go of an important material prospect excusing saying its because you have been spiritually involved . For ex : even though you have to save up for the month , you tend to buy weed , just an example tho . Youre going towards something coz you think you like it , in this case it might be a relationship , but do you seee this person reciprocting or are just going mindlessly into the abyss , spirit wants you to take some time and evaluate your choices . Please don’t sabotage yourself into thinking that your struggles are less than anyone elses , recognise and accept that you have toxic parents and that life can go wrong . You bring people with so much clarity about themselves , like you are a start for spiritual awakening for people .you might have suffered a great loss and might be lowkey right now , but to lt you know , these people hold no grudge and judgements and they already love you , think youre confident and outgoing , this applies for family and close friends .

❦︎𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 2 :

Hii dear pile 2 I hope yall have been well. You right now might have been isolated because you confronted someone for their ill doings , you did what should be done and it has left you alone and you might be confused about what has happened and why , but don’t worry this thing that has occurred is a building block to what you are becoming in the near future. You are really a loyal friend , do not worry about what others say or do. Youre very abundant and you draw so much inspiration from everything around you , what others don’t see , you see , you do it so well . You might be overusing your resources , to a point where you could face problems so be head on about where and how you are spending your money . You're intuitive , you might be a witch , someone from your blood line was one , you are also blessed with those powers . They try to give you signals through your dreams , learn to see the meaning behind those common looking words . You have achieved a lot , almost to the point of satisfaction , now you want to call people over and celebrate so mote it be you are a party girl and its amazing . Youre analytical , perfectly intelligent and logical and at times you feel shy to accept compliments but that’s just who you are so accept and cherish it . Lastly I get you might be obsessing over something and ignoring whats already there , already handed to you , don’t loose what you have because of a delusion .

❦︎𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 3 :

Hi dear pile 3 , hope y'all have been good . You don’t know that youre in love , because of something that has happened in the past has lead you to close your heart , youree beautiful but broken , but I don’t see that as being much of a concern for you right now as youre very slef assured and satisfied with what you do , a change is necessary . For the other lot of you , this is a confirmation for you to get married , yes the love has carried on , don’t be afraid of commitment . You have a very good communication style and people value what you have to say . I also get that some of you might be dissociating bad, like not realising that something has happened to you , being one of those people who shut themselves when something happens to them . Open your eyes youre not what they made you , you will be what you choose to be , you think the damages are irreversible but you got a long way to go , chin up bestie . You have achieved my dear you must treat yourself with something , maybe velvet cake or cheese cake , that’s what I get specifically . Take a break and leave for a vacation alone you have worked so hard already . Some of you here are starseeds , indigo children , you should connect to your soul family , they are always rooting for you . If you are a person who stays in the middle of arguments in work area , its okay that doesn’t give you less personality , infact you are benefitting by being in the middle as most of the people in your work place are too opionated or too judgemental . Your focus should definitely be you always.

Thank you so much for reading i hope this resonates

love love 💕

[uh-oh-its-bird]

I saw the Genshin/Naruto crossover and I'm losing it over the shenanigans because okay, picture the adepti are there too. I could picture Xianyun and Ping just freakin' stealing kids left and right. They're both acting like the other one is having a problem with their hoard of feral ninja children and then Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper are having like a gay old time having a vacation but their peaceful times keep being interrupted by Ping and Cloud Retainer (and they only act grumpy but it is heartening seeing their old friends so happy even if it does mean their mountains will likely be bustling with children once they get home.) Zhongli is like vaguely aware but he's got his hands full with his own business so he's just like "it's fine :)"

Crying actually I think this is my first fic related ask ever I'm putting it up on my wall to frame

NO BUT I LOVE THAT?? They're both creating their own little found family armies of deadly children. They mean well 100% but to outsiders looking in (aka village officials) it kind of looks like they're starting some sort of army.

Xiao pops in with Gaara and Shukaku like "look what I found" and both Ping and Cloud Retainer are making grabby hands at them like "ohoho hand them to me I will make sure they are well taken care of :)" But Xiao goes "fuck off this one is mine" and teleports away, deciding to ask someone else for parenting advice

In his travels for whatever reason he had run into Kakashi, one of possibly the worst possibly people he could ask for parenting advice for several reasons. But for whatever idea he's under the impression he makes for a ""good father"" for team 7 (much to Kakashi's distress) so he's just appearing in Kakashi's appartment out of nowhere to demand parenting advice.

And Kakashi is like: ok, the strange rogue ninja I ran into months ago on a mission broke into my home. But he's not . . . Hostile?

And so he plays along

The conversation finally ends with Xiao nodding and thanking him for his advice, maybe saying something vague about coming back later if he needs more to which Kakashi just goes "Please don't."

Then he drops Gaara's name (Gaara, who's kidnapping and status of jinchuriki and very messy kidnapping a week ago now has already leaked to the public) and Kakashi record scratches but Xiao is already gone and FUCK did he just help the guy who kidnapped suna'a tailed beast oh god

Xiao, Madam Ping and Cloud Retainer end up in a little race to see who can collect the most jinchuriki and their bijuu the fastest. They are all child shaped to them, even the adults. No one is safe (tho ofc they only take those willing to go with them, this is still an adoption game even if it's. Very enthusiastic.)

Xiao doesn't want any other jinchuriki kids tho, Gaara and Shukaku are his favorite the others can fight over whoever else there is. He'll still find them and bring them over to the others but he's not really a family man and 2 are more than enough

Zhongli is watching all of this just "I'm glad they're all having fun :)" before turning back around and tricking more people into signing magically soul binding contracts they intend to betray but will never be able to

[halfmoth-halfman]

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN, EXCEPT THE BUILDING IS 141!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOO BABY!!!

At first when I saw Canary had no gun wound, I was like - Did she not get shot??? Did someone else take the bullet for her??? (my memory do be bad, my bad - but the angst potential of someone else getting hurt in Canary's place...yummy) And then I was like, is she dead?? How's she gonna get her revenge on Graves and Makarov and Makarov's bratty daughter???😧

I'm glad you kept me on my toes with that lol.

Finally had an interaction with Adler.....in heaven. That talk was necessary for Canary, I think. I think nothing can motivate a jilted kid as much as their desire to enrage and spite their estranged parents. (Too relatable for me, cuz I'd have done the same lol) Even tho a lot of shit Adler said was unfounded, it did fuel the fire Canary needs to keep going, especially if she wishes to enact revenge on those who wronged her. And you wrote this scene beautifully! (but I also wonder if this talk, esp with Adler being all "Trust no one" would make Canary paranoid af and refuse any help from 141. Or maybe she'd accept their help in taking down Price/Makarov, but would be hella distant and try to remove herself from the entire '141 is family' thing they've got going on?)

And Price is now in jail cuz Graves framed him for attempted murder????? Oh hell to the nah!

Like idek what Price and Canary are now, after everything that has happened. But if Graves goes around framing my Price for something he did, they'd be hell to pay. I'd raise a fucking riot, bitch!

As always, amazing chapter. And I can only wait for what would happen next. Does Canary recover? Does she get Price out of jail? Does she have a run in with Makarov, or Graves? What would Shephard say to her if she just barged into the police station and demand him to release Price as he did not murder her, since she's standing in front of him....alive? So many questions and theories to ponder over, hm....Can hardly wait for where the story goes! Have a great weekend, Moth. You deserve it after serving us with such delicious fic updates <3333

- 🍄 anon

alskdjasdlas i'm sorry all i could think about from that first sentence is canary coming back from the dead and just being like:

eggman voice: "i've come to make an announcement. phillip graves is a bitch ass motherfucker!"

ok so before i decided canary was going to get shot, i toyed with the idea of someone take a bullet for her instead. there was a very brief moment, where this chapter was going to end in either price or ghost's death, but i love them both too much and they need to have their redemption so i couldn't do that to them LOL

i agree, i think it was necessary for canary. she needed that push from adler, someone to light that fire in her in a way that only he really knew how to do. he knows how to push her buttons, how to get under her skin in just the right way to get her to act, but this time she's taking things into her own hands. and like, of course, she wants to get revenge of graves for her own reasons but choosing to go back and break down her father's golden child just to spite him? if there's one thing the adler family is good at, it's being petty.

adler definitely left a lasting mark of paranoia on her, and i think she'd be hesitant to trust the 141 even if he didn't just because of the events of the past five months. however, she does know she's going to need their help at least while she recovers, so i don't think she'd immediately burn that bridge. though who's to say what she might do once she's back on her feet. i guess it would depend on if the 141 tries to make it up to her, and if she wants to be in a more forgiving mood 👀

price sure is in jail, i wonder what's going to happen there. the rest of the 141 seemed stressed and surprised to see canary awake, imagine price sitting in a cell for however many weeks thinking she's dead and it's all his fault. :)

i don't think even price and canary know what they are. they certainly know they aren't together, but i imagine price still has major feelings for her (now paired with a lovely glass of guilt) so it would probably be up to canary whether to try and rebuild that relationship or not.

it'll be interesting to see what graves tries to do, esp now that canary is def not dead and actively trying to take him down. even more, it'll be interesting to see what shepherd does in light of this new information.

so many questions and theories!!! i'm so excited to see what everyone comes up with in the time between chapters omg

thank you so much, and i hope you have an amazing day and week!! 💜

[nerves-nebula]

Okay all of this 2k12 turtle talk is mildly hilarious as someone who, while grew up watching 2k3 and even the 2k7 movie before 2k12 popped up and I irregularly caught it on the TV, still found myself drawn to those turtles the most BECAUSE of abusive dynamics that resonated with me.

I haven’t watched Rise yet (gotta do that at some point !), to preface. But since I was a kid I was definitely aware of abuse within the 2k12 family simply because I interpolated my own interpretations to situations beyond their reach to match my own lived experience yknow? Like you said, creating art to make something of your own trauma. I was an angry eldest child who went through ODD and depression+anxiety diagnoses before the ADHD one (and a softcore autism diagnosis, ig? it’s complicated) so of course I was drawn to the way Raphael was angry. Of course I was drawn to the way he lashed out at his brothers and friends emotionally and physically in a way I’ve done a lot. I understood the feeling of being so upset that you want to upset others (particularly authority figures) to make them understand the way you feel, even though you love them. It’s easier to be angry than it is to be sad, too. And of course I was drawn to Leonardo, eldest sibling syndrome incarnate, as I grew into the role of a parent in the household. Of course I disliked Splinter, because those conversations with Leonardo about it all reminded me of my home in a negative way. Discipline, the word, still makes me emotional.

So, I DO think there’s abusive themes in 2k12, but that’s why I liked it. Arguing over how good and bad fictional characters are in earnest has always seemed silly, but to dismiss interpreted abuse as bashing the show or characters is worse imo. (I think people who definitively label characters in the same, unrelenting way to undermine a show, it’s characters, or the fans is equally silly). I don’t know, those conversations struck a chord with me as a 2k12 fan solely due to their dysfunction.

Ahck sorry for the text wall !! Jus wanna add that it’s also why I love YOUR comics and work so much, they’ve helped a lot of people understand and be open about themselves and their experiences and I think you can tell from the asks. Doesn’t hurt to say it though. It helped me, it brings me joy, so thank you! ❤️

still found myself drawn to those turtles the most BECAUSE of abusive dynamics that resonated with me.

NOO Like this is the main reason i was first interested in watching 2012 instead of any of the other iterations after Rise too!!

I understood the feeling of being so upset that you want to upset others (particularly authority figures) to make them understand the way you feel, even though you love them. It’s easier to be angry than it is to be sad, too.

relatable, tbh. when i was younger i CHOSE to be sad instead of angry most of the time. I chose to blame myself and shut down, because I'd never want to put someone through the terror and pain I felt. but then as I grew up i realized just how much it was hurting me and how UNFAIR it all was. And then I realized how much the people hurting me the most DIDNT EVEN CARE.

I'm still distressed tho cause now I have a habit of lashing out at people when I feel like they don't understand, to try to make them feel the way I do. but at the end of the day I don't ACTUALLY want them in tears, I want them to UNDERSTAND my feelings and that's just!! not gonna happen through cruelty!!

Arguing over how good and bad fictional characters are in earnest has always seemed silly, but to dismiss interpreted abuse as bashing the show or characters is worse imo.

vIBEs. good opinions here no notes. Only thing I can add is that I've been given a few accounts of what is CLEARLY character bashing in popular parts of the fandom so I totally get people who get annoyed/skeeved out by it.

Jus wanna add that it’s also why I love YOUR comics and work so much, they’ve helped a lot of people understand and be open about themselves and their experiences and I think you can tell from the asks.

augh you're all such daRLING sweethearts about it. literally don't even worry, I do this for myself for the most part and all the good that comes afterwards is just a happy side effect.

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

Abby's Basic Info

Name: Abigail Rose O’Brian

Abby's faceclaims were pretty easy, actually. For the 60s - Patty Duke (The Patty Duke Show); the 80s - Ally Sheedy (The Breakfast Club); the 90s - Natalie Portman (Star Wars); and now - Isabella Sermon (Jurassic World).

Nicknames: Abby, Abs, Pinkie Pie (not only a My Little Pony reference as she was addicted to it as a child, but also due to her wearing shades of pink more than any other color)

Age: 14

Date of Birth: December 13

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Birthstone: Turquoise

Nationality: Native American, Irish, and French-Canadian

Sexuality: Lesbian (closeted)

Birthplace: Elliot Hospital, Manchester, New Hampshire

Current Residence: Gray Road, Sanbornton, New Hampshire

Occupation: High school freshman and goalie on the local soccer team 

Talents/Skills: Acting, memorizing just about anything, getting good grades despite not studying, and telling terrible puns

Birth order: Middle

Siblings: Vivien (older) and Oliver (younger)

Parents: Damien Lucas O’Brian and Chelsea Alisha Mays

Signature:

Height: 5’3”

Race: White

Eye Color: A brown and green blend

Hair Color: Brown if she has it cut short, but it looks dirty blonde if it’s long

Glasses or contact lenses: Though she is the only one in the family who doesn’t need them for some reason or another, Abby wears them to feel closer to her family

Distinguishing features: Two streaks of colored hair framing her face that normally match the season/upcoming holiday (orange for Halloween, red and green for Christmas, pastels for Easter, etc)

Mannerisms: Using pencils as hair ties, spinning her rings, muttering to herself to keep her thoughts in order, and constantly licking her lips despite always having a Chapstick with her

Health: She has eczema on her hands, anxiety related to school, and a binge-eating disorder coupled with high metabolism

Hobbies: Photography, reading, watching 80s movies, imagining herself on Broadway, and playing ukulele 

Greatest flaw (in their opinion): How much she relies on other people’s opinions of her. While Abby doesn’t really care much what her friends think of her, her family’s opinions of her mean more than she’d ever let on. Oliver has always been there for her (despite those glorious 13 minutes while he was still in the womb) and his opinion of her has never changed, which she’s more than grateful for. Her dad adores her and treats her with respect and love, something she admires him for to no extent. The only people she worries about - whether they know it or not - are Vivien and their mother. While she definitely looks up to her mother (which I elaborate more on in her fears), their relationship is rocky at best. She feels pushed in the direction her mother wants her to go instead of being loved for who she is and what she wants. Vivien, thankfully, is the opposite of that. Abby has idolized Vivien for as long as she can remember and has tried following in her footsteps for just as long. They spend evenings together, watching old movies and just hanging out and, though they both have friends of their own, Abby loves the times when she can just sit with her sister and ignore the stress of the world. Though they’re very close, Abby’s respect and idolization of her sister has made it ridiculously hard for her to take any constructive criticism Vivien gives her. This one-sided strain has made it exceedingly hard for Abby to tell Vivien much about her personal life, any struggles she might have, her relationships, and her sexuality despite knowing her sister would accept her no matter what - leaving her feeling somewhat isolated from everyone.

Best quality (in their opinion): How versatile she can be. As long as she puts her heart into something new - ukulele, bass guitar, studying new subjects, trying new sports - she can become great at them. She loves trying new things, but the idea of not being great at something stops her from venturing too far out of her little bubble of comfort.

Biggest fear: Imperfection. Though Vivien was the oldest and most esteemed child in their younger years, once the oldest of their family came out and started being her own person, their mother turned all her focus onto Abby, forcing her to be the golden child. Perfect grades were a must, gold medals and academic awards had to be won, and if something wasn’t done to her mother’s standards, Abby could feel dread settling in her bones. Though her mother never screamed at her, the disappointment and subsequent silent treatment were enough for her to know that she wasn’t good enough. She dreads the day when she has to come out to her mother because, despite her mother saying she's now perfectly fine with having two screw-up children in the “alphabet soup community,” Abby can’t imagine what will happen when her only remaining golden child comes clean. On top of that, what will happen when she finds out that Abby wants to be a theatre major instead of a lawyer? Until she turns 18 and can leave, Abby is perfectly content pretending to be her mother’s perfect child. Besides, it’s what she’s good at, right?

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Favorite ice cream: Cherry Blossom

Favorite color: Peach

Favorite number: She doesn’t necessarily have one, but she loves Friday the 13th (not just because of the movies or her birthday), so that would most likely be her answer

Favorite songs: girls by girl in red, I’d Rather Be Me from Mean Girls the Musical, and all-american bitch by Olivia Rodrigo

A place they want to visit: Berlin, Germany

[wisdominfumbling]

Taking accountability over actions.

My parents have always told me life is all about making desitions and hopefully making the right ones.. Now my dad specifically tells me that more importantly life is about making the wrong ones and learning from that. Learning from the pain, the suffering, the shame, the loneliness, the anxiety and so much more. At frist I didn´t understand when he would say that

¿Why would my own father want me experiencing those feelings?

Later on in life I have found the answer, cause he loves me and he wants me to be happy and life a full life, be a complete woman and in order for me to be that I have to have awful days and weeks, hopefully not months and years but you never know. Now I thought I knew what heartache felt like, a breakup, love related feelings but the truth is I have never been in love, never felt true relationship like love, out of my mind Romeo and Juliet love. I know guys have I´ve been with have felt that for me but I have never been able to reciprocate. ¿Why? I have a short (but still important) list of reasons:

Im immature, somehow I still believe in the perfect guy. tall, handsome (not pretty), smart, loyal, funny, pro family, respectful, athelic, good in bed, manly. And I blame my dad for that, he has always shown me that I deserve the world and the best and that everyone is replaceable and when someone doesn´t fit into one of those requirements I should leave. now the problem is that it really shouldn´t be like that. Im not telling you to settle for something lower but I am saying that some things can be fixed and you should focus on the core of the person. most important is that they have to be loyal, tall, pro family, have a job and respectful. the rest can be altered, I can style him better, cut his hair different, send him to the gym, show him tricks in bed. not so important things but the core should be top requirements for a boyfriend.

I only know how to obsess with guys, dont know how to love them.

Im scared of commitment, Im terrified of telling them everything and then im this vulnerable person and they´ll maybe do the same to me.

Im insecure, physically. im always gonna be comparing to other women specially the cute, thin, blonde ones. I always find them more feminine, prettier.

If there are more reasons.. i forgot them.

The point is, due to those reasons im not able to be in a relationship only situationships work until they start getting serious and i dip or do something to fuck everything up. And thats exactly what i did, if i can give you good and simple advice.. DO NOT DATE YOUR FRIENDS FRIENDS.. EVER. yes it can go really well but it also can go REALLY bad. and you dont want to go there, im telling you.

I was going out with my boy bestfriend´s friend, all good, he had more interest in me than i had in him, he asked me out we went out a couple times on dates, i stayed over at his house, all good (kinda, im not gonna get into the werid stuff that pulled me away) but even after i posted him on my story and people saw us out and about, i still got some dms of guys i used to talk to (and fuck) wanting to see me and stuff. This specific guy im kinda obsessing with dmed me and we talked. my situationship saw and yeah. so basically im a cheater, i fucked up and its been like a month and a half and i still cant get over it. i have so much guilt evenm tho my friends forgave me ? and told me i had nothing to worry about i still worry. i feel bad. i saw this great guy that cared for me, crying in his bed, asking me again and again why did i do it and i just didnt have a good honest answer to give him cause honestly i would end up causing more damage.

A month and a half and already fucked another person, I have been on a couple dates but i just cant seem to replace him yet. which is funny cause when we were a thing it seemed pretty easy to replace him. im also lazy cause if i wanted to be with the guy im obsessing with i could just take the metro and be there in a hour. maybe i feel guilty about seeing him too. fuck i feel guilty about seeing my friends too. i have only told three friends, my bestie that i called him the same day it happened and he helped me out a little but hes a guy so he didnt get it as much, my other guy friend and he was sweeter and told me to not worry and that everyone fucks up at a certain time but as long as i knew that it was wrong it was okay and that he had done much worse, and my other friend shes a girl so she understood better and was very sweet about it, i think they´re being sweet with me is because im the youngest and they can see the shame and the regret in my face everytime they see me.

I know that i shouldve been more straightforward and direct and just told him that i could not give him a relationship at the moment but i just didnt wanna lose on any side. i wanted to have him while having another other and not having any kind of limitation or whatever. I understand thats not how life works but sometimes i fool myself into believing that the universe loves me so mcuh that i get this "im gonna look the other way" treatment. i hope i can feel better now and start moving on with my life, i cannot be stuck on this for any longer. i know he is not stuck and i also know that we will see each other eventually and i want him to see me normal, even if i was the one that fucked up i dont want him to see me that affected.

[icharchivist]

heyy icha!! started up autumn, it’s fun!! got through the first 16 chapters and decided it was time to pause so here’s my thoughts.

I was very surprised by the random guy azami called during summer act 2, but actually it is just. idk. shift is cool. you can absolutely Hear the way azami’s voice gets lighter and looser when they chat. it’s wonderful. actually hugeee props to azami’s voice actor—I feel like soo much of azami’s character is inherent in his voice? like he’s kind of muted in subtle in the way that he talks which is kinda hard to convey with text only, because he’s Also sharp-tongued so if you’re only looking at the text, it’s a bit hard to notice he’s actually kinda… quiet? anyways I like shift it’s nice that azami just has a like. Normal Friend yknow? and shifts family seems cool too. so I’m glad that azami at least has like, an example of a healthy kind of family dynamic and stuff.

anyways. the way u could hear a pin drop when azami says hes gonna join akigumiz rly unfortunate he announced it AFTER sakoda announced the boss was trying to get him back. since like. uh. hed decided it beforehand, anyways. through kumons suggestion. at first I was a bit like cmon sakyo… you’re gonna send that kid back to his dad? homophobia. however the fact that he 100% called it regarding azami making something up for his portrait is so funny like ah. he was correct there.

like banri I also think azami is good for autumn so someone can bicker with sakyo. the way they just started physically brawling was so fun but what was funnier was omi breaking up the fight with the same level of casualness he broke up banri and juzas fighting. it’s like… these r not even two rowdy teens anymore. sakyo is 31. love that for him tho.

banri is also being such a good leader. checking in with azami and helping him with his portrait thing. his collage? reminded him of how he advised yuki in into the night. he feels reliable now, which is cool? anyways yeah he help. it was nice to see him tell azami abt the previous autumn exploits. the rookie introduction is rly such a good mechanic… it’s like. new chara for one. but bc they have to be introduced to the troupe it’s such a good way of bringing up past themes naturally and then having the opportunity to develop them further. anyways it’s nice to see autumn like. Bonding. I’m sooo invested in that one scene where azami tells omi not to bring him stuff like scones.

sakyo: “I practically raised him”

me: ah. *horrible impression of sakyo* hmph. I’m not the step dad, I’m the dad that stepped up.

this is a total shot in the dark but I have this like feeling that azami, during this story, is going to cry. Loudly. and I’m going to tear up abt it. we shall see.

kumon and muku being like angel devil fairies was SO CUTE. their voices especially!! like the way kumon has to quiet down his voice by a lot lol. anyways it was sooo lovely. I loved how it paralleled what natsugumi did to help out kumon. and I especially liked!! kumon bursts out laughing when natsugumi does their girls thing but here azami doesn’t like actually Laugh™ at all, but you can hear the laughter in his voice? it’s so cool.

I liked azamis audition portrait. the fact that he’s unable to give up his makeup is so good, and I really loved the convo he had with kazunari later, where kazunari pointed out that his family and makeup might be both so important to him that he’s unable to simply give one up… it’s nice, seeing characters give advice. but yeah azami. I am Looking at the part where he’s like oh I can give u makeovers but I’m kinda new with all this stuff, because all my old stuff is broken. and the way that he refuses to show them what he looks like wearing normal makeup…? I’d bet both of those r related to his dad who is not sakyo.

like oh my god the “…” from azami while izumi says she needs a parent/guardian permission. and then sakyo says like “I’m basically his guardian” and then azami going “…!” like oh u Know azami had that moment of uncertainty like. man… sakyo hates me anyways is he gonna send me back. like it’s just like… Telling he asks tsuzuru to cast sakyo as the villain of the story. when I saw that scene I was like ohhhh sorry azami. you’ve just given tsuzuru something terrible: personal info abt yourself. you realize he’s absolutely going to make u confront stuff with his play right. actually I did watch the play and. it’s very the stranger esque in that they’re all like. we live in a doomed apocalypse. I am a unique existence with it but this gift of mine will never be imparted unto others. still we shall live. as the only two real people. some people r beyond saving. like tsuzuru is so weirdly depressing during these plays. I respect that. and I was right bc he did throw in an emotional dad scene.

azamis such a professional middle schooler. like the makeup and also writing for a site. I loveee seeing azuma and yuki bond with him. let’s gooo. yuki and azami teaming up for budget is awesome. they’re actually just a great duo together. like first off the fact that they’re two middle schoolers who can seemingly put the fear of god in anyone is so choice. I loved seeing how professionally they worked during that fashion show. and banri modeled too! made me have feelings abt into the night again lol. also that azami scene was so good! like u said, the rookie cg in act 2 really showcases the relevant character well… the whole school festival was just nice. kazunaris talk with azami was rly cool ofc and the whole like. way azami is like ah. once I’m in high school I probably can’t do anything… and the little detail that both tenma and misumi haven’t ever been to a school festival is so like. wow. they’ve been denied a lot of “normal life” things bc of different reasons and now they get to experience them! idk it makes the fact that misumi treats tenma like his younger brother all the more heartwarming.

loved the whole thing where they discussed themes for the autumn troupe play. like juza talking abt like frilly gowns and grand staircases and when banris like wtf he’s like what? you think I can’t do it? get this guy in a dress for real.

they eventually settled on the undead / zombie theme but like… when taichi suggested visual kei tsuzuru actually didn’t seem too against is sooo. what I’m saying is. a3 autumn does a version of zombieland saga. I’ve never seen that show but it’s abt zombie musicians right. speaking of tsuzuru I love that he just passed out between a door so he didn’t hit his head. that’s like a skill.

the whole kindergarten thing was so cute. like the animal costumes… I saw omi and squinted like. wait oh my god is he in a WOLF costume!! and he was!!! I think that’s like. So Cute. like can I imagine autumn sitting around those costumes picking and someone’s like well, omi, this one’s kinda like, your name…. from personal experience tho there r absolutely kids who would see juza and stuff and be like oh my god he’s so cool I’m gonna follow him forever. but the animal costumes were a smart choice. and hey now they have em for free! more things to haunt tsuzuru with <3 when I first saw them I immediately thought of. yknow the volume 3 extras of gsnk where nozaki wears that bear costume and does judo. I love that bit. the voice acting for the section was so good tho like juza is kinda stilted taichi is kinda nervous and banri sounds extremely breezy abt the whole thing bc hes banri and can pull it off.

I rly liked both taichi and juza’s collages abt running away but to me it’s like. So Funny. how taichi and juza r like “I promised I’d be a better person from then on… and when I’m a better person I’ll…” or something like that and then when azamis like soooo how about now they’re like ah… I’m not nearly good enough yet. like i get why they r still uncomfortable with themselves but from personal experience like. reaching for an idealized self that u have to get to First before you’re Allowed to do things is like… not good. anywyas to me it’s rly funny that like azamis reaction to both of these has been kind of like “um okay? why are u still worried about that loser.” (he’s much less harsh abt it I just think this phrasing is funnier)

azamis response to taichi asking him abt his love life, tho… ”k-kiss? that’s for after marriage!” like oh my god u have to introduce her to parents, date, get engaged, and THEN you hold hands? and taichi being like. did sakyo teach you that…? personally I think azami managed that level of repression all on his own. like honestly tho for him the “introduce to parents” is probably a pretty. terrifying step so I can see why he’d be hesitant.

oh I wanted to talk abt juzas portrait. first of all him jumping in as a bodyguard to azami was so nice. the power of his glare alone! I know we haven’t seen omi or sakyo do a boyhood collage yet but I have to imagine that like midway thru juzas collage azami is squinting at autumn like… is this secretly a troubled kids home? is it like just normal to run away from home once, statistically? anyways juzas both correct in that u can learn to avoid fights but azamis also correct in that like. what’s he gonna do. let those guys kick the shit out of him?

but anyways juzas portrait made me tear up. like the. the. ”Kumon’s nothing like me. He ain’t big or bulky, and he’s like a ray of sunshine. Everybody loves him. He even cares about me.” LIKE FIRST OFF IM GOING TO CRY… JUZA…. second off the way I literally wrote “If there was ever a human embodiment of sunshine…” in my fic abt kumon. me and juza mind meld. jk this is such an obvious description that I think anyone reading through summertime survival strikes back would be like oh yeah this guys like sunshine.

but the way that like. all juza did was get picked on by a bully, glared at him, and then the bully stepped back and fell off the stairs? and juza stayed frozen in place instead of running bc he. I dunno. felt guilty probably? or just terrified bc oh my god the injuries… like even in this collage he describes the whole thing as a “mistake” on his part even tho it’s like. he didn’t do anything!! and then his mother had to apologize for him too… I love that she was angry on his behalf tho. hyodo mom I love you. and it was so nice that they found him bc it was the place where kumon played catch with him.

anyways I loved that the lil detail of like, tsuzuru visiting his family to explain why spring and winter weren’t at the festival like. was used to effectively to bring up zafra and stuff. I think it’s cool that tsuzuru recognized that it looked similar to citron’s stuff! like even tho tsuzuru is so exasperated with him he always seems to like. know the word citron wants to say and like. Pays Attention it’s nice. also when tsuzuru was like “I spent the whole time cleaning” I was just like ah. oh my god. if spring troupe ever leads tsuzuru on a play again… cinderella is right there. citron as Prince Charming ofc. masumi as an evil stepmother bc I think the drama of that role will be good for him in that it’s kinda a little silly and grand. he can’t rly cool guy his way out of it. like probably this won’t happen bc we already got a play with tsuzuru and citron as lead and co-lead but I can like, dream. it would overlap pretty hard with clockwork heart anyways bc I imagine the whole miracle vibes of cinderella would make tsuzuru have mizuno feelings again. but like hey. could be a fun fan-creation.

anyways zafra…. just wanna say I’d had it in my head that citron was a runaway prince since like. act 1 of spring when he said he ran from his country soooo… not gonna be like I called it but I called it!! tho I think this was kind of an easy guess lol. like when he’s all monarchy hater in alex in wonderland I think it’s pretty blatant.

uh but chikage said their monarchy has been having issues lately, but tsuzuru was like oh it’s fine. a new king is gonna be crowned in a few months apparently. and when izumi asks if citron is going back he goes “yes. I am… sure I will”

assembling the evidence. chikage would know secret internal details due to the organization, but tsuzuru would only be aware of public facing stuff. so my theory is… citron was a prince of zafra, and he ran away. I think he described himself as like an “eyesore” to the people he ran away from. this caused internal strife within the monarchy bc like. hey who the fuck is gonna inherit now. but seeing that we see guy in one of the event stories go “…citronia” or whatever I fully believe guy like. is citrons retainer or guard or something and is here to bring citron back and put him on the throne. hence why citron is like ah… I’m sure I’ll be at that coronation… because they’re going to coronate ME… and I’m being dragged back there….

the other alternate theory I have is that citrons like part of a succession war. the reason I think this is bc like. it would be a reason for why citron was like I’m an eyesore. also he mentions having three younger brothers during the new years event and says they don’t want to see him again. so citron is just like ha… yeah… sure… I’ll be at the coronation… (I Am Never Going Back) instead. and guy is chasing him to drag him back bc he cares abt him. I bet he’s the guy citron wants to see again. and also the source of that charm citron was staring at.

anyways the base of these two r the same. I’m excited to see what the facts are! I bet that’ll be in winter—it’ll be a fun spin since so much of spring was occupied by winter since hisoka was such a big deal there. and it’ll happen in reverse with citron being a big deal I assume. summer and autumn also have like. kumon and azami so they kind of overlap their seasons too.

anyways obviously this is good setup for winter arc but I think it’s also like. a perfect bit to have in autumn bc like thematically. azami is also struggling with like. inheriting a position he’s on the run from.

that’s all I have for now! excited for whatever zombie run night is

aaHH KIRI HI <3333 GOOD TO SEE YOU WITH AUTUMN OUR WAY

Shift does indeed sound very cool!! it makes me so happy how Azami lights up when he's talking to him, you can truly feel how close they are. And you're so right about Azami's voice, and all kudos to his voice actor. I think you sum it up well, he's quiet despite his lines generally being sharp and stuff, and with Shift's phonecalls making him this happy it constrats even more.

AND HELPP. Crazy how at this point it's Chikage's joining that went with the least problem. (not the same as "Chikage staying" which was the core of the issue but you get what i mean.) and DLKFJDLKF yeah Sakyo knows this kid so well. for better or for worse.

ah yeah the true admission fee to Autumn: you need to bicker with Sakyo. This is the new rule. And hey good on Sakyo to remain young like that! Omimi really embracing his place in the Autumn Troupe as the fightbreaker.

BANRIIII he's always so good sobs. It really shows how far he has come on his own and yeah, i can definitely see a bit of how he advised Yuki come out there as well. And it shows also how closely he cares and look out for his troupe now that he can tell all of it to Azami. it's so nice.

FDKJFLKD POOR SAKYO…. probably deserved BUT POOR SAKYO.

:3c interesting ehehe.

And yess god those kids are so cute. Kumon really just learnt from Summer how they made him feel better, and then decided to give it back to others as well. He knows it worked on him!!! it must also works on Azami!!! God this scene is so cute. solidarity!!

Azami's audition was really good and his dilema is really interesting toto go through. I did like Kazunari helping out too. I really like what you say about Azami's makeup stuff and "his dad who's not Sakyo" is such a funny way to talk about his bio dad. get out of the way bio dad you might be the DNA but you're not as dad as Sakyo.

the scene where Azami expects Sakyo to send him back home but Sakyo backs him up is so!! AND "ohhhh sorry azami. you’ve just given tsuzuru something terrible: personal info abt yourself. you realize he’s absolutely going to make u confront stuff with his play right." IM ABSOLUTEY CRYING OVER THIS. so true though. Azami, unknowingly giving Tsuzuru ammo. Tsuzuru: sure :) Everyone at Mankai: oooh boy kid, rookie mistake.

And so true it really is a lot like The Stranger. Also probably something to be said with how in both plays Sakyo plays a father who was doomed to screw his own child over no matter how much he cared about them. And hey Tsuzuru makes it work, and maybe getting depressing in Autumn is kinda the afterfact of having to be so damn silly with Summer. balancing it out.

"AZAMI IS SUCH A PROFESSIONAL MIDDLE SCHOOLER" THIS IS SO ACCURATE HELPP. And yess i love the Fashion Trio. Esp with the whole subtext of Yuki and Azuma's dynamic originally being really like, "Azuma can prove those kids who might be unsure about their future that there is one to be had by still being themselves and enjoying themselves." Azami doesn't need this lesson as much as Yuki but it can still be reassuring. And Yuki and Azami together are a MENACE, SAkyo's greatest nightmare, love that for them. AND YESS GOSHH the modeling thing just sent me right back to Into the Night as well!! DKLJFKDLF i really had the Priviliege of Insight to mention that about the CG, since i know all of them, but yeah, it really showcase them very well. And yeah the school festival was really nice, and it must also have really helped Azami to participate to something so… normal. usual for people his age yaknow? being a Yakuza son probably doesn't make those as usual as it could be otherwise. shoves Azami with Tenma and Misumi gang of "we're going to show them what Normal is or so help us."

GET JUZA A FUCKING DRESS THIS IS A THREAT NOW. i'm still a bit bitter that Banri was the SSR card for the noble-woman dresses event, this should have been Juza's time to shine. Juza KEEPS wanting it SO BAD and Banri keeps shutting him off, why is Banri the one getting the frilly gowns. GET JUZA A DRESS.

isn't Zombieland saga about idols especially? but yes, what works would work, it'd be fun! but i'd love to see a Vkei look, whenever you guys are ready!!! And Tsuzuru truly has a skill at this point rip.

AND YES THE KINDERGARDEN THING WAS SO CUTE. And pleaaase it's so cute i could totally see those kids adoring Juza. Joining Kumon in the Juza fanclub. But yeah the animal costumes were a smart way to make sure the kids would feel safe. And <333 always fan of tormanting Tsuzuru <3 AND HELPP THE GSNK REFERENCE. BEAUTIFUL.

The collages are so good yeah!!! and sobs yeah they're still so uncomfortable with themselves but it's especially striking considering how far those two have come…. esp Taichi who had to run off from the Godza and had to come to term with his spy days, and Juza really going from thinking of himself as an acting lost cause to genuinely managing through his insecurities and inspiring everyone around him. Alas yeah, they both are still so ashamed of who they were and still gunning for so much higher that they don't see that… "“um okay? why are u still worried about that loser.”" LKFJDLKFJDLKFJKLDFJFDFD

AND HELPP. honestly i could see Azami do that all of his own, remember that Sakyo loves romance novels and has no problem sharing them with Muku, so anything about that is fully Azami made. Also very good point about introduce to parents.

Juza <333 always the savior isn't he. AND HELP i could imagine Azami just think that at this point. Probably already clocking "ok i was thinking Omi might be a normal dude but now that i've heard how the whole troupe is i have Doubts." Also for the funfact i have a friend whom i dragged into a3 a bit kicking and screaming, who had a hard time getting too involved but when he related to the charas, he related hard (Itaru and Tenma for instance came to murder him, if that gives any idea). Anyway we went into Autumn, watching the anime, and he was so scared because every single one of them were his type, so he was worried to be emotionally damaged by looking at a mirror, and we finished the chapter and he was like. actually i'm fine. I'm so fine. But he got curious about Azami so we watched Autumn 2. And he was quiet for a long time, going through the collages and stuff. And eventually, i think around the time of Juza's? my friend turned to me and went. "did i ever tell you I once ran away from home." And it was aBSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL he was SO MAD by the end of this chapter, he ended up relating to Azami a litttle too much AND everything that didn't hit hard in the first chapter ended up hitting him hard by the second one. Point is. "is it like just normal to run away from home once, statistically?" it is for punkass troublemakers. not targetting anyone. (also let's talk about how Misumi also ran away from home but only to never come back. Honorary Autumn kid.) AND YEAH both are right. But i love Juza's take away still.

And Juza's portrait was so emotional and how much he cares and wanted to protect Kumon was just so :sob: AND AAHHH You REALLY understand Juza's mind so well that you looked at Kumon and knew exactly how to refer to him the Juza way. (but yes Kumon IS the sunshine itself.) and Juza poor kid. No one ever cut him some slack :( HYODO MOM SO GOOD WE LOVE THE HYODOSAKISAKA HOUSEHOLD IN HERE. But yes sobs Kumon finding him because Juza couldn't help but go to somewhere he probably felt safe to and it meant being safe with his brother…. sioft.

and god yeah the Tsuzuru bits is really cool. I remember in the first Summer chapter my biggest issue with it was how there was so little focus on Spring that it felt like they weren't living in the same place….. and i'm just so glad this was an issue that was never truly repeated, and moment like that showcase it so much. the rookies chapters tends to focus on two troupes at once already (like Awakening Moon was Spring and Winter), but here they still had some focus on non-focus troupe and it's so nice. And i love that it showcases Tsuzuru and Citron's dynamic so well it's so soft. AND HELPPP cinderella play when Tsuzuru, you have it all set up for you!!! And god i love the casting for that. And true for the vibes (note: Sakuya as the Fairy God Mother? baby angel that grant people wishes because he gives them an opportunity to? (like how it's giving the opportunity to keep the theater opened that helped everyone?)). Anyway as a fanplay it works still. Tsuzuru coming to term with his feelings for Mizuno everytime he colead with Citron is really funny tho.

AND HELPP. I still won't say anything for Citron but yeah things are starting to shape up! And oh god Citron's reply to it all huh. God. Anyway interesting theories, obviously i can't comment on them just yet but. interesting!

but yeah the duo season focus is built on each chapters in a sense so Spring will have its time to shine again next chapter. I don't htink it's that much of a spoiler since we do know Guy is looking for Citron, the same way we knew early on Chikage was looking for Hisoka. Something to be said about how Spring and Winter both have their past catching up to them with an acquitance from the past coming back to get you, while Summer and Autumn's main connection is between the two new kids who are starting to get to know one another. (and obviously Kumon-Juza, but i suppose it's also a bit like Azami-Sakyo currently yaknow? family bonds over troupe bonds).

Anyway! :D

Thank you once again for the ask <333 so much goodies in there and it's always so fun to relive the chapter with you like this!!! thank you for sharing all of this <333

take care and see you around :3c

[umhuhwellthen]

One of Chizu's peers:

Norie

CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY holy shit

She's a Prussian cat and Miss Mommy issues herself (joking) (im sorry)(all of the neko ninja need therapy but Norie especially)

Putting my ramblings under readmore, I don't usually go for angst, i like hurt/comfort tho and shitty parents getting what they deserve and was/is in the bnha and dp phandoms so sibling relations and family dynamics analysis are always fun

Norie makes me insane fr fr. She has different outcomes for what her fate can be. If Lady Fuwa is defeated and exiled away from the city, she could follow her. Because she is nothing but loyal to her. And she knows that may not be the best decision, but damnit that's her mom okay? And she wasn't very good but couldn't she have been? She liked them well enough (when they acted like she wanted), couldn't that grow into genuine family love? And maybe, yes, maybe Norie can get Lady Fuwa on the road to redemption. For this one ninja(daughter) that stayed by her side through all of her faults. Or maybe she doesn't. Maybe she continues to be callous and cruel even though Norie has abandoned everything she has ever known for her. And Norie accepts what the other ninja have been saying to her, and gives up on Fuwa. Leaves. She can't go back to Neo Edo. The other Neko Ninja do not trust her or see her as family for choosing Fuwa. Nor would she want to, with all the memories there. She sets out on her own path. Alone, but free. Or if Lady Fuwa gets exiled but Norie is kept from following her or Lady Fuwa gets straight up killed (either by Chizu or another Neko Ninja). Then she just has to live. Live without the one person she cared about(that didn't care about her, never did) and judged all her selfworth by. Where is she supposed to go from there? With living with comrades that were wary and distrusting (with sisters worried and hurt and trying to help themselves and her from healing from all Fuwa put them through). With Chizu (the favorite, the sister she could never match up against. Who she betrayed without a second thought and who came back for her. She hated her. She admired her).

Good lead into design details of Mitsuki, Hinata and Norie. Notice they're all wearing face masks. All Neko Ninja must wear the masks, from the youngest trainees to the senior members. Unless their mission requires them not to(Chizu). That's a hard habit to break. They also still wear parts of the Neko Ninja uniform. The orphan kittens too. And some of it is just practicality, why throw away well made goods?(Remember when Chizu picked up the kunai lol) They've repainted some of the armor pieces for personalization, to reclaim them. But some of it is to represent how they're still under Fuwa's hold, the shadow they fall under. This is most explicit in Norie, her outfit is literally just the Neko Ninja uniform but without the hood and chest plate, and an alternate style top. The inclusion of the uniform is to show that they're healing from their experiences. But those experiences still haunt them. And it will take time to heal. Some more than others. But they've all taken steps in the right direction.

Also hair too, under Lady Fuwa they'd keep short, low maintenance styles or not grow it out at all, but after Fuwa's final defeat they'd start growing it out. Hence why I draw most of them with hair, it's growth(and to differentiate them more). Itsumi keeps it short out of choice now, but maaaaaaybe she'll grow out a tuft of bangs (maybe just like a certain samurai and ninja, hm?), but Norie is keeping it short out of habit, she's still not comfortable with expressing herself (let alone who she really is and what she really wants), hasn't picked out any personal clothes like the others. Hard to develop opinions on clothes when all your outfits have been decided for you years in advance.

[cinnamonfknbuns]

5, 11 & 20 for any of ur oc ships/otp!

omg I didn't actually expect to get any asks, I saved it more for myself to reference later fhjagdj but now I'm excited to write yayyyy!!!!! thank uu :DDD

5: Describe their cozy night in.

��� Utsuki/Haru:

Since both of them are high schoolers and live with their parents/guardians, spending a night together is kind of an occasion in of itself, but still, like, a cozy, casual "date"

it's girl's night! at least that's what Haru tells her parents ^^;;

they don't care, especially if Utsuki is staying over after a study session that went on too long. As long as their daughter is doing good in school it's fine

if they're not too tired and don't have class the next day, they'll make/get something sweet to eat, watch a nostalgic movie, maybe do a craft together and chat until the early morning, all as quietly as possible as to not bother anyone past bedtime

Haru isn't all that comfortable with touch, so she actually prefers to sleep in separate beds. it still feels very close tho, as they keep talking (whispering) to each other even after the lights are out, until one of them falls asleep <33

11: Do either try to hide their emotions if upset? Can the other still tell?

— Dália/Saeran & Ray

It depends on how long has passed since the events of the canon story, but mostly yes on Dália's side. I mean she doesn't even let HERSELF acknowledge those feelings...

I interpret Saeran as a system: host Saeran, who Dália is dating and is the one fronting most of the time; suit Saeran, who prefers to keep his distance from her (and vice versa tbh); and Ray, who is also kinda dating Dália but he fronts way less and isn't as present as Saeran, so their relationship is more of a d/s dynamic than that of girlfriend/boyfriend

Being the one that knows her best, host Saeran doesn't hide his feelings at all, and he notices if she tries to do so. It's also with him that she's most comfortable being open with, so note the "if"

Ray tries to hide his feelings bc he's ashamed, but fails. He's usually too flustered and in his own head to notice when Dália hides things from him, tho

Suit hides his feelings AND knows Dália also does, but he doesn't want to pry and just leaves it be. He feels guilty for what happened in the main story, and Dália keeps her distance bc she's too scared to confront her own feelings about it.

20: Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

— Lazarus/Griffith:

I like this one bc it focuses more on the 'secret' part of 'secret relationship', which is just crucial to laz and griff's whole thing

Before lovers, they're confidants. yeah, lazarus is completely obsessed with griffith, but griffith doesn't even like him that much (at least at first) The only reason he kept him around is because Lazarus offered a secrecy no one else could, and would THEN come to form a bond with him based on that trust.

Lazarus is basically the family doctor for the royalty, on top of being very knowledgeable about poisons and a bit of an alchemist (nerd) So his job is to listen to nobles sharing their physical weaknesses and gross secrets and telling them abt each different poison whenever someone feels like doing an assassination. (he never participates and will refuse to even listen to anything related, hes just a "I'm here to share my scientific expertise with my patients; whatever they choose to do with that information is not my business" kinda guy)

basically, he's privy to A LOT of stuff, and has lasted so long in that position bc he takes patient confidentiality REALLY FUCKING SERIOUSLY. and then he sees griffith for the first time ever and decides he'll make an exception for this random twink. lol.

So Griffith is drawn to him as a resource for political games and shit, right? but then, also, Lazarus is someone that Griffith doesn't have to impress. He's already obsessed with him, he's not a noble able to give him land or titles, and he's not a hawk putting his faith in Griffith's dream, so there's no outside pressure for Griffith to maintain his facade.

There's literally nothing Griffith COULD do that Lazarus would blame him for, even if it's outright evil shit. If Griffith is weak or tired or conflicted in front of Lazarus, he'd never tell anyone or think less of griffith, so it's him, and only him, that griff seeks out when he needs help

in short, their bond is based on that trust and secrecy rather than, like, attraction. they're not really lovers, i'd say they're co-conspirators with benefits 😌😌

[cleridwen]

Are you named after anyone? kind of? Cleridwen used to be a name my dad used once in a game we played together for a few weekends. It became my online and irl name (Claire) many years later, because I like the name a lot. my dad died of medical malpractice a few years before I started using those names, so it carries a little bit of him too.

When was the last time you cried? middle of december, I cried during hours of agonizing liver pain. I don't remember the last time I cried more naturally, but probably a couple of months ago. I remember shedding a few tears to music and a few pieces of media more recently.

Do you have kids? nop haha! and I likely never will, don't really want to

What sports do you play/have played? none, really. I used to like swimming and biking, but I never looked to practice outside of just occasionally visiting the city pool with my family, or going on a short trip around the fields. I got taken skiing three times for a few days, but the last time I figured it's just not really my thing (as most sports)

Do you use sarcasm often? yes, both online and offline, tho generally only around people I'm familiar with and who also do. and generally in public/group chat settings, less so in private

What's the first thing you notice about someone? whether or not I can consider them "safe" for me (if they say something sexist/racist/ableist/transphobia/homophobic, and how often). this is something I very often pick up on in my head, and it impacts a lot how I see that person. even if I'm not directly concerned by something they say (for example, if they say something racist about immigrants), carrying negative opinions about minorities like this shows a lack of empathy and is a serious red flag

Eye color? very blue! (eye close-up) I don't really pay attention to such specific details though.

Any talents? there are a few things im good at, generally tech related stuff, I'm very curious and not afraid to experiment and learn. I like video editing, I have a decent musical ear, and I can speak and write in enish fluently despite never leaving my country for more than maybe 30 days in total. I've been told I'm a pretty good listener too. none of those are "talents" though, just things I became good at after years of practicing because I was interested

Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings! I don't watch a lot of movies or shows in general, but even less so scary movies. I'm not particularly into those kinds of emotions, ans they are often gore, while I'm pretty squeamish

Where were you born? France, where I grew up and still live. somewhere close to Paris, where my parents lived then, but they moved less than two years after I was born, to a pretty desert countryside in which I grew up

Hobbies? learning about tech, computer stuff (broadly speaking), and cars; video editing, Planetside 2, watching YouTube, driving, and sharing memes on Discord.

Any pets? yes!! aang has been my cat for two years now. I've lived with at least one cat since 2011. I haven't had any other pets beside online friends. I'm in bed and she's sleeping on my stomach right now (like most nights, we're both a little cold)

Height? too tall ;w; I wish I was small

Favorite school subject? don't really know. I only went to middle school for 2 years, and high school for half a year. and I really didn't like it. I did enjoy the less conventional classes like biology and physics.

Dream job? pet! there are a lot of things I like, I really cannot see myself doing the same thing over and over for the rest of my days. or even a few years. I guess being able to live off my passions would be amazing, maybe by making YouTube videos about them, but even if that was financially viable, I'm too dysfunctional to manage all of that.

tagged by @scorporia to answer 15 questions and tag 15 ppl (i did not tag 15), thank you!! :3

Are you named after anyone? my primary chosen name is from Marth from Fire Emblem

When was the last time you cried? last week when i finished the main story of Nier Automata

Do you have kids? only a cat

What sports do you play/have played? i don't sport

Do you use sarcasm often? yes, LOL

What's the first thing you notice about someone? face details, i think?

Eye color? blue :( i wish i had brown

Any talents? drawing, i guess!

Scary movies or happy endings? scary movies ftw!!

Where were you born? the black hole of dimension 112 (the USA)

Hobbies? art, various crafts, music hoarding, HTML/CSS, gaming, and overall goofin' off with technology

Any pets? one (1) Cat(tm). her name is Arina

Height? jerma height. 5'4

Favorite school subject? economics

Dream job? i want to get paid to recommend weird music to people tagging: @sysagainstcis @sun-almighty-wukong @plush-size-cutie @greatcurve @fakeosirian @glubpy @superchat @smsnsa @punkdogs @gustofwinduhdance @maryaustria

[fureliselost]

Yo, I've been thinking about Danny's grades. Because, like, most of the DP fandom writes ff with Danny being one bad grade from flunking out 'cause he can't fight ghosts and keep up with the school work.

But, like, is that really accurate tho? (And let me make it clear that I've only watched DP once and that was in Feb, so I could have some information missing here)

Cuz on the very first ep Lancer tells Danny he has basically nothing bad on his record (whereas Tucker had some transgressions).

And I can only remember Danny's grades being mentioned 5 times in the entire show (on One Of A Kind, Teacher Of The Year, What You Want (?), TUE, and, obviously, Mystery Meat — there is Vlad's mentions of Danny's grades and Danny's dream in Frightmare, but I'm not considering those).

On One of a Kind, he gets a D in his biology — which, from the way he said it, it sounded like he never got a grade that low — but he managed to raise his grade.

On Teacher of the Year, he fails his English (?) exam — not because he was occupied with a ghost, but because he was obsessed with playing Doom (let's also remember that, on One of a Kind, Tucker literally says Danny's problem was time management) — but then he was able to retake the test and got a 91%.

On What You Want, he mentions he's a C student.

And, well, everyone knows what happened in TUE: Danny says he isn't prepared for the CAT 'cuz he didn't get to study throughout the year because of ghost fighting (which IG is where the whole fanfic thing comes from).

But, like, was Danny actually not able to study because of ghosts? Because I can't actually think of a time where he was actually stopped from getting his homework done by a ghost fight.

But you know what does come up in my mind when I think of all of that? "Poor time management skills"... Oh, wait, that's already Canon!

Before I get into the time management skills, lemme bring up again Vlad's comments, Danny's A grade on his dream on Frightmare, and Danny's comment on What You Want (as well as what he said in TUE).

Guys, the educational system sucks. In 2004 it was worse. Teachers also suck in that respect (do I need to explain that I don't hate all teachers, only the sucky ones?).

There are teachers who humiliate you in front of the class for having a question they believe you shouldn't have, I'm pretty sure everyone has been in that situation or knows someone who has. Some teachers shame you every time you get a bad grade instead of offering solutions — that affects people, it doesn't even have to be that explicit.

I spent 'till my senior year of highschool thinking I was a terrible student (because teachers told me I was every time I got a bad grade). That only changed when I was calculating my GPA to see which colleges I had a shot at: my GPA was 3.6/4

Now, take Mr Daniel Fenton. Youngest son of a family of geniuses. His older sister got the highest ever CAT grade and writes Theses for funsies. His parents not only where accepted to appear on genius magazine (Jazz may have done the application for Maddie, but she wouldn't lie on it knowing that they would do at least some fact chacking — meaning that she probably picked accomplishments of Maddie's and used only the ones she approved of, meaning that they had accomplishments other than the ghost related ones) but they also built a freaking portal to another dimension.

Not to mention that Tucker is a top notch hacker and doesn't get good grades because he doesn't want to (which doesn't matter because he changes them anyway) and that Sam never shows any concern towards her grades and, being from a rich family, she probably has to get good grades.

Take Danny, who wants to be an astronaut — the literal hardest job to get on the face of the Earth, which also requires a degree in the STEM area (which Danny is admittedly not the best at). Now put him in a place where his grades dropped a little — Maddie, his mother, literally told him he had to get good grades because "Fentons get As" or whatever.

Is it that hard to think that a lot of Danny saying his grades are so terrible and he's not prepared for the tests is because that's just how low he thinks of himself academically?

Lemme get back to the time management skills.

So I've already established that the educational system sucks and it wasn't any better in 2004.

It was even worse at recognizing and dealing with neurodivergent kids.

And I'm pretty sure that, like, 70% of the fandom sees Danny as Neurodivergent-coded — autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc.

The thing with being neurodivergent is that sometimes ND people suck at some executive functions/have executive dysfunctions.

Do you know what is an executive function? Time management skills.

When it comes to studying, I personally have a lot of trouble with distractions and getting myself to start the assignment. That problem is usually solved if I have someone to do it with me — and by that I mean that the person usually just sits nearby and sometimes helps me with processing an information, which tends to consist in just me talking.

Which is basically what Lancer did with Danny in Teacher of the Year. Which,,, Lancer, my beloved, yes! When he found the problem, he tried to find a solution and his frickin solution worked!

Anyway, this is all I wanted to say: the educational system sucks, Danny has a warped view of himself, Danny is neurodivergent, and Lancer should've been portrayed as an awesome teacher since the start because he was awesome.

[kghr-8125]

So guess who just learned today that:

(Yes this is a horrible picture but pls excuse it)

This will not be leaving my mind for some time now because it fueled some brainrots

Its always been a reccuring thought to me how Hirano and Kagiura at the surface may look like their personalities are very different but that's not actually it.

We have Hirano who is a member of the disciplinary committee and is pretty diligent and straight-lace.He follows the rules regularly and tends to do everything by the book despite having bleached his hair blond.He's closed off and other people tend to find him intimidating.

Then we have Kagiura who is a member of the basketball team.He's carefree and is more sociable.He's very honest,straightforward and tends to be well-liked by other people and is in general an easy person to get along well.

At first glance they look like the classic introverted nerd and extroverted jock dynamic but there's actually more to it especially when you notice how some of their interest and personality actually overlaps.

We find out that back in middle school Hirano actually used to be in a sport team of his own and that he was in the track team.And Kagiura may not be that good at studying but I heard he's at least good at biology and he seems to have an interests in stars too.

Not only that they both are hardworking,competitive and very determined when it comes to getting what they want.They also are very decidated to what they do(Hirano spends his weekends studying in the library and likewise Kagiura also does the same by playing basketball despite not having practice during those days)

They both clearly have a goal in mind and are very decicated to making it come true which lead to them both coming and meeting in the dorms.

Both are two sore losers who hates losing and are also intelligent in their own ways but can also be dumb in certain aspects.

Because i love them a normal amount(yeah definitely) I sometimes think back to their animal images to find more things to think about when im waiting for a new chapter every month and seeing how Hirano's is a gray wolf and Kagiura being a shiba inu it definitely connected some dots in my head and finding out now how Shiba inus are closely related to wolves only encouraged many thoughts too.

It only started of as me thinking of Hirano being a gray wolf may be hinting that his home situation growing up may have been very different to the one Kagiura grew up in.

Kagiura obviously grew up in a loving family full of people who were really close to one another and tho he was a middle child im sure he still grew up receiving tons of love and care to be the kind of person he is today.Domestic dogs like shiba inus tend to be kept as pets and when they have great owners they also grow up receiving lots of love and everything they need to grow up as adorable doggies who deserve all great things in life.

In contrast to Hirano who has a wolf animal image.Wolves are creatures who lives in a wild and has to deal with harsher things to survive like tough weathers and having to hunt their own food to eat.Wolves as i heard actually tends to avoid human interactions too so with all these in mind i like to think there's a possibility of Hirano growing up in a tough and strict environment,maybe he was also sheltered or didn't get much chance to see the outside world(this also makes me believe why he's said to be into planes cause if i were to see it in a child's point of view planes are amazing because they get to go anywhere)

As harsh as he's possible living situation may be I don't think he grew up fully receiving zero love cause as I remember he seems to get along well with his parents although we sadly don't know much about how things are between his other relatives.

It doesn't even need to be his home life maybe middle school was hell for him too and he didn't have much friends.Alot to think about really.

This also just leads me back to how despite being an only child Hirano seems to be pretty independent and self reliant on his own and also manages to take great care of others(like a wild wolf taking care of the members of his pact).I dont like to believe that Kagiura is helpless on his own since im pretty sure he can manage himself,he just like being taken care of and spoiled by Hirano(like a domestic dog who was treated with great care growing up) but out of the two of them Hirano seems like the most reliable one.

Anyway im gonna wrap this all up by ending it with how much I love that at the end of the day Hirano and Kagiura are different enough to have lives outside of eachother yet similar enough to get along well and balance each other out and also bond over similar things.

[shadycwasont]

Ooooh, that's really interesting 😄! Yeah, I can see what you mean by him being more mentor-ish than parental. It is bishop we're talking about.

What exactly did you mean by Bishop finding out about the other turtles and may or may not be taking out some misplaced aggression from L10. He loves him, though he won't admit to even himself, but he gets on so many of Bishop's nerves.'? Like L10 pisses him off so much, but he ls unfortunately become attached, so he just takes it put on the others? (Sorry if that's a stupid question 😅)

Also- LEATHERHEAD!??! ngl did not see that coming, tho it does make sense. And I can only imagine the looks of absolute horror, confusion, and amazement when leatherhead brings L10 to meet them -remeet them whatever - just 'Oh yeah, hey guys, check out this turtle thing I found that looks just like you that I'm pretty sure you're related to that also just so happens to look fucking ✨️mutilated✨️' Lmao I imagine that might not have gone over great.

Also, yess Bishop is to be subject to the horrors feeing somewhat parental affection. He loves his weird turtle, Alien genius of a mentee/sorta kid ?, but he's also fucking hates those feelings.

And now, without further ado *ahem* . Do L10 and bishop ever make up? Does he keep trying to kill/ capture the other turtles after L10 leaves? What's L10's relationship with each of his new/old brothers? What about splinter? Does he get along with april and casey the same? What did the other scientists/researchers and other faculty think of him during his time there? Was he allowed to make modifications to his prosthetics? Did he do it anyway? Was he ever allowed to help with any technological projects, or did he ever simply insert himself into them? What specific science type does he tend to lean to in this au? Bishop ever figured out that he isn't actually an alien? How does this all affect the good genes arc (I think that the one where he double mutates)? Does it happen at all? Does L10 ever go on missions/ go ninja-ing with the others, or is he not interested? What you mention him using a part of his arm to make a Lockpick, What other functions do his prosthetics have? If Bishop and L10 ever do make-up, then will he stop trying to capture/kill the other turtles? If yes, then how do the others react to bishops fondness for their long-lost kinda dead brother?

Oooh also does he ever actually end up hacking into any major government systems just for the fucks of it or is that something that's outside his capabilities? I'm assuming that he meets leatherhead and, by extension, his family in his mid-teens (about 15-16), so that's like 7-8ish years of this bs /affectionate.

Also, it is very important. Does L10 get a gun? I think he deserves it. My gremlin bastard child. 😈

L10 AU

03 AU where one winter when the turtles are kids, maybe five or eight, there's a collapse in one of the lairs, could be because of something like an earthquake, construction failure, etc. In the collapse, Donnie is crushed and dies. The pieces of rubble are so heavy the others can't move it to get the body and regretfully have to leave it.

The extreme cold preserves Donnie so it's still in perfect condition when Bishop and his team come to investigate reports of an "alien" being found in the sewers. They're even able to revive it with experimental procedures since the head was mainly left unharmed. A few of the less important organs, what appeared to be a shell, and the left arm needed to be replaced though.

The subject had no recollection of anything before being revived, likely a side effect of being dead for an extended time even if the effect was lessened by the cold. This means Bishop couldn't get any answers from it about whether there was more like it or where they might be. Though he could still stuffy it and test its capabilities.

The newly labeled L1038451 has an unexpected problem that messed with the data. The subject couldn't feel pain and they had no way of knowing if this was normal or another side effect of it temporarily expiring.

Bishop sitting in his lab wondering what he could do next with this creature when he notices it running across the doorway of his lab. He immediately gets up and chases it down, which is surprisingly hard considering its small size.

Bishop demands who let it out of its cell when he notices one of the tools from an earlier experiment in L10's hand. When did it even grab that? Bishop looked from it to L10's face and saw the most cheeky smile. Why this little- Bishop is going to make sure it can never leave its cell again.

It leaves its cell on its own again less than two days later. Making sure to pull on Bishop's pant leg and everything so he knows.

Bishop doesn't understand! No matter what locks or security system he puts up it somehow opens them! At the same time making sure to erase the camera footage so he doesn't know how. Then it just seems to seek him out to show off its win. Worst of all it started greeting him with this irritating "Guess who, Bippy?"

As Bishop is grumbling he notices hasn't seen L10 in a while. Why doesn't he believe it's because he's finally contained that thing?

Bishop searched the facility and found L10 in his cell. With a bunch of parts that weren't in there the last time Bishop put him back in. Is- Is he making a drone in there? How does it know how to make a drone?

Before Bishop realizes it he's sitting in the cell with L10 watching it build and sometimes offering tips and ideas. When it's finished and L10's eyes light up with joy Bishop almost feels… pride?

That feeling is short-lived as L10 gets up and runs out of the cell giggling, locking Bishop inside behind him.

L10 does eventually learn how to hack into Bishop's bank account and order stuff to be sent there. Bishop's looking so confused when he sees purchases under the name "Elton". Elton? El-ton. L-10. L10!

[sparkles-and-trash]

The Gaang are Roommates AU ~

note: this is a rewrite and repost of my old roommates au, there was some stuff I wanted to change, and I wanted to make the parts a little longer, so yeah, ta-dah! 

- think modern setting in the canon universe, bending is still a thing 

- the Gaang are all in going to Ba Sing Se University 

- I’m gonna change the ages a bit to make it easier for myself, sorry 

- Zuko, Sokka, Suki and Mai are 20, Katara, Ty Lee and Azula are 19, Aang, Toph and Yue are 18

- so, Zuko, Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph end up living together in a big loft type apartment 

- Sokka and Aang are old best friends, they met Toph in Middle School, and Katara is a natural part of the group 

- until now Sokka and Katara have both been living in the dorms, and they both hate it intensely 

- but now that Aang and Toph are also in uni, they all decide to move in together!

- …but the only problem is that the only place they find that they like is just out of their price rage (Toph’s parents aren’t supportive of her major so they’re not helping out much)

- enter: ~ Zuko ~

- so, Zuko has been living with his uncle Iroh since his Father, who’s a high up in some big and important company the Fire Nation, disowned him for speaking up against the company’s shifty treatment of workers and ruining a lot of sacred land etc 

- they’re still firebenders and the scar still happened, not in an Agni Kai, but it happened 

- but after Zuko started uni, Iroh really tried to push him to meet some people his own age and make some friends

- the only people Zuko talks to on the regular besides Iroh is Azula, Ty Lee and Mai, and Mai is the only one who is like, his friend yanno?

- the last year the deal was that if Zuko didn’t branch out, Iroh would have him live one year with other students

- it’s his idea of tough love 

- Zuko tried to do some random kid’s homework to have them pretend to be his new friend in front of Iroh so he wouldn’t have to, but Iroh can tell he’s lying so easily 

- so, Zuko ends up hearing about the Gaang through Mai, who heard from Ty Lee, who plays field hockey, Suki, who’s best friends with Sokka

- so, he goes to meet them, and it’s so awkward mY GOD

- Katara is a B I G environmental activist and HATES Ozai and his company, with good reason

- she eases up a tad when Zuko admits to being turned away from as a teen, but she is still suspicious

- Aang loves him right away, ofc, and that makes Katara even more suspicious because she’s pretty protective of Aang

- she claims it’s because he’s so kind and believes everyone but she totally liikeees hiiiim

- Toph is just like, sure, as long as he pays his rent idgaf

- Sokka is weirdly quiet, because he’s had a huge crush on Zuko forever, and the only one who knows is Aang (and Toph but she ain’t no snitch)

- so, ya boy makes the cut, and before they know it, it’s move-in day!

- but, the idiots didn’t think through the facts that it’s only three bedrooms oops

- and Toph is NOT afraid to pull the “I’m blind and I need my space” card

- and nobody’s up to fight her on it, so 

- let’s just say there is A LOT of back and forth, but with Katara refusing to room with her brother again, and Zuko being rightfully scared of Katara, it ends up with Zuko and Sokka sharing a bedroom, and Katara and Aang

- they have separate beds ofc

- but still, tension, man, so much tension

- it takes a while, but the dynamics starts working out really well

- Zuko is good at grocery shopping and likes to clean, and Aang is always happy to help him out

- Sokka loves cooking, so he does that a lot

- Katara is always on top of the others with schoolwork and making sure everyone is okay, and she usually does it in genius, sneaky ways so people doesn’t even notice that she does it

- Toph is clearing the air off bullshit

- like, she will call a bitch out

- but because she cares about said bitch

- so, Aang knows that Sokka has a crush on Zuko because Sokka told him in a weak moment, and Toph knows because she just knows

- Aang is a good friend tho, and he tries to like, ease them together

- but he is so awkward about it, the poor thing, and Zuko doesn’t understand AT ALL

- Toph is just sitting back and sighing a lot

- Katara doesn’t understand either but she just stays out of it (smart girl)

- but okay, we know how oblivious Zuko can be right?

- Sokka can give him googly eyes and blush and stutter around him so much and he still has no clue at all

- Zuko starts thinking Sokka just doesn’t like him at all

- but then one night Zuko has this really intense nightmare

- okay and quick addition, his scar is… handshaped? Like, you can clearly tell what happened to him

- but nobody talks about it, yet

- but then he’s having a terrible nightmare and is talking and begging and pleading in his sleep

- so much that Sokka wakes up

- and he catches on pretty fast, but had no idea what to do

- so he just shuffles over to Zuko’s side of the room and starts tapping his shoulder rapidly

- but nothing happens

- so he just… gently and awkwardly pats his head until Zuko wakes up

- and Zuko is like… wat u doin there bro

- and Sokka is like… just patting ur head to wake you from a nightmare bro

- and they awkwardly just mumble and go back to their beds

- but Zuko is smiling a lot because someone who’s not his family or a family friend really cares about him

- after that, Zuko slowly starts opening up to all of them, but Sokka especially 

- he never really tells them about being cast out and burned tho

- until one day he kinda casually slings it into a convo all fast and awkwardly

- it’s just Toph, Aang and Sokka there

- Toph yells so WHAATTT so loudly and just metalbends the whole fridge into a clump in rage

- Aang cries lmao but he tries to hide to and be supportive and not awkward

- Sokka is kinda quiet, but he carefully asks about it that night when they’re in their beds, and they talk a little about it

- Aang tells Katara (with permission) and she awkwardly, but wholeheartedly tells him that he can always talk to her

- they do that «awkward sibling hug» from Gravity Falls after

- *hugs stiffly* «pat, pat»

- but okay, Toph and metalbending when angry, it happens quite a lot 

- this was the first time it was the fridge, but the toaster, the microwave, and several other appliances have met the same fate

- everyone is kinda used to it now, and she always replaces it

- except Zuko, who’s still kinda new to them all

- but what are you supposed to say when your new friends is so outraged by the abuse you went through that they crush a whole ass fridge?

- it actually reminds him that he’s cared for here, by these people who owe him nothing, and is not related to him, and it makes him a little dizzy to have people care this way

- he casually mentions it to his Uncle Iroh the time he’s in at work, that his new friend is a metalbender and squashed their whole fridge when she was pissed on his behalf

- Iroh is thrilled

- to the point of offering Toph a job lmao

- Toph, desperate to cut of as much ties with her family and be as self-sufficient as possible, agrees

- and now Iroh have two formerly rich kids with no clue about any sort of customer service and basic stuff like that working for him

- Toph is a hard worker tho, and she and Zuko work surprisingly well together

- Katara is a little relived, because the more those two work, the less are the chances of either of them trying to cook or do too many chores around their apartment

- they mean well, or, Zuko does, but he does so much dumb shit when trying to help lmao

- Sokka starts spending a lot of time over at The Jasmine Drago too

- Aang is still trying to keep the fact that Sokka likes Zuko a secret, but he is having trouble

- Katara is his biggest weakness, and now they’re suddenly alone with her a lot

- someone else who could always read Sokka really well is Suki

. whom he used date in high school, but they parted as friends and everything s cool

- but Sokka is a little taken aback when she comes into The Jasmine Dragon one day, hand in hand with Sokka’s childhood crush obsession, Yue

- for the first time in man’s memory, Sokka is a little speechless

- and Suki’s like “lmao dude I haven’t seen you like this since the first time you saw Zu-”

- cue Zuko popping out behind them like “WELCOME TO THE JASMINE DRAGON FRIENDS OF SOKKA :D”

- Sokka is so fucking red, poor boy is just about having an aneurism at this point

- but luckily something happens and Zuko gets distracted

- Suki is having the time of her life tho, Sokka always used to tease her for her crushes before and after they dated, and suddenly, here they are

- at the apartment, Aang decides they need some apartment traditions

- they’ve been living there for almost three months, after all

- so he decides that weekly movie nights are mandatory

- so are pillowforts

- Katara is actually really excited for it, she loves all things cozy and fall-like

- also… she is weak for Aang, y’all, and she loves seeing him all excited

- Zuko barely knows what a pillowfort is, he didn’t think real people actually made it

- but imagine these dorks in a pillowfort with hot chocolate and lot’s of pillows

- Toph claims that she thinks it’s soo dumb, but she will always make sit in the middle of the group all wrapped in her blanket and laughing when the others jump and get spooked from the horror movies Sokka always wants to watch

- and she will make sure the fort is right and perfect lmao

- Zuko is a little awkward about it at first, but he likes it too

- Sokka always manages to plop in next to Zuko lmao

- they haven’t talked about the head patting incident yet, but Zuko is def starting to feel the butterflies

- one time after a movie night Sokka falls asleep on Zuko’s shoulder, after the others have left for the night

- Zuko can’t resist waking him up with awkward head pats similar to the one Sokka used on him

- Sokka thinks he died and went to heaven lmao

- but then he fully wakes and sees Zuko’s shit eating grin and can’t help but laugh at the whole thing

- and Zuko has his “oh no he’s hot beautiful and I really adore him” moment