#even this is a form of relating
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I think instead of thinking of all art as something which is objectively good or bad, it is more productive to think of art as an expression of yourself. An expression of yourself can't be bad, as it is a form of communication, something coming from you to the person that is seeing it. It doesn't matter if it's not as good as other's art, because it is speech. You are talking. Your speech is always going to be different from others. Not worse nor better.
#I was listening to cassandra float can again and I was thinking about how during this specific presentation#Anne Carson also did a series of sonnets that I didn't very much enjoyed and thought were too loud or unruly for me#and then I started thinking about them in a different way and realized that it doesn't matter if I dislike them#because like I said they are speech trying to convey something specific and there's nothing to speech#speech is a way for you to communicate a part of your thoughts which is also what the essay is about#and so art is for you to communicate a part of yourself in any form#you draw a character you like and you ask yourself why devote so much time to this specific character what does it bring#even this is a form of relating#it's interesting it's what I'm saying#wmp.txt
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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So, are Machete and Vasco both from Naples? As Italian, I can now imagine them talking with some kind of accent :)
Machete is originally from Sicily! But he hasn't been there since he was little. Vasco's family is from Florence.
Vasco's Tuscan accent is deeply rooted and clearly noticeable, but Machete is a lot harder to pin down. He strives to sound as impersonal and formal as possible, which renders his form of speech kind of stiff and flavorless. He's always been reasonably good at absorbing languages though, so I'd like to say that he can communicate in several of the major Italian dialects/languages if necessary. In work matters he readily switches to ecclesiastical Latin.
Maybe his southern origins show up more clearly whenever he's off-duty and his mask of soulless professionalism is a little looser or something.
#answered#abbylaus#Vaschete lore#Italy's language situation is practically incomprehensible to an outsider#I can't even pretend to properly grasp it but bear with me I'm trying#I believe by the 1500's standard Italian based on Florentine dialect had gained a steady foothold among upper classes and literary works#but it only became truly widespread and attained it's status as the “Official General-Purpose Italian” centuries later#it was and to some degree is a patchwork of closely related but not fully mutually intelligible languages and their regional forms
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𝐅𝐈𝐘𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 ━ 𝑑𝑎𝑦 2. 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑟 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔
Today I'm holding space for the idea that in the context of the movie, dancing is a coping mechanism for Fiyero. While caring is a cure and a solution and an answer. I mean it is nothing new, but it needs to be said.
There will be a separate post on Dancing Through Life later today, but for now, we're starting from later. At history class, Fiyero voluntarily steps up to help the lion cub, and they make it all the way to the forest. Shortly after they are safe, and start talking, Elphaba says, "I know my life would be much easier if I didn't care, but—" and Fiyero cuts her off at exactly this point in her sentence. And I think that moment is crucial. Up until now, he’s never interrupted her before—but now he does and not because he’s frustrated with how much she talks, but because of what she’s saying. He doesn’t want to hear her talk about caring. That’s a pain point for him.
Because he knows it’s easier not to care. That’s the story he tells himself.
The lyrics in Dancing Through Life go: "Why think too hard when it's so soothing?" Soothing what? You don’t need to soothe something that doesn’t hurt. Soothing is only necessary when there’s an ache. To me this means he has cared before, and he has been hurt by caring before, and now he's coping with that by dancing through life. He is soothing his pain from secretly caring just too much, by dancing. Not because he doesn't care anymore about anything, but because he can't stop doing it, so he has to keep dancing. Dancing is loud, and visible. If he dances, people don't ask questions about his personality about what he thinks or how he feels. Maybe they haven't been doing it anyway, so he distracts them by doing his little dance, and as soon as they get too close, he pushes them away. But what he believes to be true for now is that caring = painful and dancing = a way to cope with that pain
But Elphaba just saw him care—deeply. She knows he’s capable of it. And she knows how unbearably sad it must be to choose to pretend otherwise. At the same time, she also understands how painful caring can be, she just highlighted is. In that moment, they find common ground.
But Fiyero’s façade—his carefree persona—is what he assumes people value in him most. So the second he realizes Elphaba doesn’t see him that way, he panics. He thinks that if she can see through him, it means she doesn’t want him there. No one has ever appreciated him for anything beyond the image he projects. So if that mask is gone… what’s left? Why would she still want him around, if he's not fun and happy and carefree? So he starts to leave.
And then she proves him wrong.
Not only does she say "she does (want his help)," but she physically holds onto him, keeping him there. The shock on his face (second gif from the bottom) says everything—he never expected someone to want him without the act. And later, when she touches his face so gently, you can see him struggling to process it. This is the most vulnerable he’s ever been, and it terrifies him. Not only that, but Elphaba sees a scar on his face, and sees that he has been hurt, without him noticing it. She reaches out and touches him gently, not really wanting anything, and he just can't bear it.
Her caring for him is not painful, it's soothing.
His Freudian slip a few beats later—"I better get to safety."—isn’t just about physical danger. This doesn’t feel safe. Being seen, being wanted for real, is the opposite of what he’s used to. Caring and being cared for are equally scary, but only the latter seems like a completely new experience for him. However, after feeling it, he finds something so real that he just yearns for it from now on. Yearns to be seen and touched and to be needed for something he did instinctively, without a thought, something he did because it felt right.
That’s why the later scene with Glinda is so important. When she holds his hand, the shot mirrors the moment with Elphaba—but with one key difference. Glinda is pulling him away, back into the world of pretense. But he can’t go back, not after this, and you can see him looking back at where he came from, back to the forest, back to Elphaba, back to being seen. For once, caring was not painful, and someone cared for him as well.
#fiyeraba february#cynthia erivo#elphaba thropp#wicked#wickededit#jonathan bailey#fiyeraba#fiyero tigelaar#mine#jbaileyedit#cerivoedit#wicked meta#queue#This is a form of companionship and connection that cannot be undone#she is always unapologetically herself#she can't hide under anything because her green skin draws instant attention#how can you not love this dynamic?#how can you not love either of these characters? Elphaba literally finds someone who like her actually CARES#also this is not my only dancing related meta for this prompt lmao#I'm not even sorry#stay tuned!
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Kingdom Hearts 2 - Shadow Stalker & Dark Thorn
#kingdom hearts 2#kh2#shadow stalker#dark thorn#heartless#my gif#this boss fight is so cool for so many reasons#it's highly memorable to me because of how it takes full advantage of the location and possesses the entire ballroom#the ballroom is such an iconic disney location so it's really cool to watch it transform into something alive and nightmarish#also how the shadow stalker cocoons itself and emerges as a monstrous form that resembles the beast himself#the shackles representing how he's confined to his castle#the vines and thorns that wrap around its whole body depict his unhealthy obsession with the rose#it even has the ability to turn invisible which could relate to his isolation and how he doesn't even exist to anyone outside the castle#this form is definitely representative of what he could be if he succumbed to his loneliness depression and anger#good designs. good fight. and very cool reaction commands
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... anyway, last beast ganondorf design poll
i merged both the old and newer design (left in the flowing mane but added the split open back with the spine showing and that mist coming out, plus some fur marking adjustment), so now the only thing to decide is whether the red fur should run along his back or on his belly
(red on back, no magic charge, which is the majority of the time-black braids-, and while charging magic -glowing braids-)
and reversed version (belly red) the big malice arms color fits the other phases of the battle better here (in his human form he 'rebuilds' his missing arm with malice in phase 2, which is revealed to be 'taken' from his beast form)
#ganondoodles#art#zelda#tloz#ganondorf#ganon#wip#this weekend i will make his final designs post for all phases and forms#but i might ditch doing the storyboards for the cutscene before the fights#bc that adding even more work for this one post and that might fit better in a story related one#but im gonna describe it anyway#tumblr is great for that at least#(my opinion is more on the second one with dark along the back)#(since thats what he looks like most of the time and the dark on top was meant to synergize with the black braids)#(just like the red on top was meant to do so with the glowing braids- as i initially didnt plan both black and glowing braids on one versio#but tbh i still cant decide lmao#dont worry this is the last time im posting these though
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The cutest reminder ever that the way family works in TSAMS canon is that two parties have to be in mutual agreement that they are family. If one party doesn't agree then they aren't family. Parties can revoke familial ties whenever they want and that means they are no longer family.
"Code Relation" theory is stupid because you're then implying that Eclipse is Sun and Moon's child. Which he isn't. Or that Killcode is somehow Moon's child and his brother at the same time that he's Eclipse, Lunar and Bloodmoon's "father" at the same time that they're Sun and Moon's grand children. Like, we're seeing the issue here, right?
Don't make things more complicated than it has to be. Just accept the fact that family is literally determined by a verbal agreement between two animatronics and nothing else because none of them were born from wombs. That means respecting canon when characters in canon decide that they aren't comfortable being family (like Eclipse) or just straight-up disown everyone (like Bloodmoon). It's okay to have headcanons, but don't try to push them onto canon.
#alex talks#tsams#tsams discourse#the sun and moon show#just respect canon#not everyone has to share your headcanon about how family should work#pushing headcanons onto people and claiming it's canon is rude#and really fucking gross too#let people enjoy canon without having headcanons that they don't like/agree with being shoved in their faces#istg if I see another argument as to why a harmless ship is “actually incest” because of “code relations” I'm going to scream#yes I am staring at the people who are making that claim about shadowplanet#code does not define family in this show have we not learned this already#if that were the case then most of the animatronics would be related because they were made by fazbear and that would be an issue#because a lot of them are dating like bros please open ur eyes and see how this stuff actually works in TSBS instead of#Pretending your headcanons are canon#again#it's fine to have family headcanons and the code relation headcanon but don't push it onto canon#that's so rude and annoying#also do you really think the VAs would joke about shadowplanet if they thought it was somehow incest#in any way shape or form#family doesn't work by “relations” it works by agreement#Solar wasn't family until he agreed to be family#and even then he was like “yeah a distant cousin or smth idk”#idk now I'm just#alex screams into the void#yeah#pop off king
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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Toku Pride Month Challenge │ LGBTQ+ Characters
Ichika Sakurai
#the high school heroes#tokusatsu#sakurai ichika#ichika sakurai#momohero#momo hero#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.gifs#umbrella.posts#userdramas#tokupmg#tokupmgcharacters#ichika is a trans girl and has explicitly said this multiple times in the series#she confides in her friends/team about her identity and her struggle and they accept her completely#even offering to be there for her if she ever decides to come out to her parents#it's a really sweet scene and i know a lot of people relate to her story#i highly recommend thsh but do be aware there are some heavier topics covered such as ab*se regarding another character in multiple forms
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today's fangs of fortune ep made me think about the concept of becoming who you needed the most when you hit the rock bottom. becoming the person you cried for when you were alone, when there was no one left; the person you envisioned in the darkness of your mind when you had a moment to dream of something better.
aka zhao yuanzhou seeing himself in zhuo yichen's pain and sorrow and horror over losing control of himself, doing something unthinkable, and then being blamed for it simply bc he's perceived as a demon; and wanting to protect zhuo yichen from all of it. becoming the person zhao yuanzhou himself never had, the person who would've stood up for him. the person who understands and can relate to his pain and desperation and fear, and holds him close, protects him. bc as much as zhao yuanzhou thinks he deserves punishment, he does not wish to punish others for the same mistakes.
#also the prison scene#and the brothel scene#both made me think about how suddenly yichen looks so young#he's only a boy and so horribly lost and zyz sees himself there#his younger self even if in demon years it's not that much younger#but his wish to protect is even stronger like this#fangs of fortune#is there any greater form if love than#being able to relate to someone else's pain#bc you have gone through the exact same thing#and deciding that this time you will not allow that pain to mangle another person#deciding you will not let it do to them what it did to you
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Idk why, but for some reason, my brain is developing a headcanon where if Mr. Puzzles has a favorite song, it would be one that got scrapped from a certain movie or is from a deleted scene like the song, “No One Would Listen” from a deleted scene from the 2004 Phantom of the Opera movie. I feel like he could relate to that one a lot or to something similar, but hey, what do I know? It’s just a guess at this point! It’s just a theory!
#i don’t really know#when I come up with headcanons like this I tend to try and keep it in line with the character as much as I can#But we only got so much to go off of here so it’s a lil tricky#Even it it’s not his favorite song I still think he could relate to it quite a bit#And an animatic for it may or may not be forming in my he-GOD DAMMIT#NO GUARANTEES THO!!!#Anyways just thought I’d share that and encourage y’all to go listen to No One Would Listen#It really is a good song#mr puzzles#smg4#smg4 mr puzzles#smg4 puzzlevision#headcanon#phantom of the opera
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i had a dream where something was off with riku’s shadow…
(this art is so sucks i made this when i was tired and less experienced which ended up making riku look so much skinnier than how i normally draw him post-kh2 can you stop engaging it with pretty pweeease)
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#riku#(and ansem. in shadow form)#IGNORE THE MISTAKE OF RIKUS HAND AUUGHH I HATE DRAWING HANDS#riku wasnt wearing his dream drop distance outfit but i drew him with it because. well. dream LOL#its so weird like it wasnt even clear what world he was in#he was in some sort of tavern?? so maybe you’d think it was the kingdom of corona#liek the snuggly duckling but it definitely wasnt#i couldnt tell you why but trust me#it was kinda surreal that i actually had a dream about kingdom hearts. go figure#its like the hardest thing in the world to have a dream about a fixation im having#usually my dreams are trauma. and me dying. sometimes both.#and if it is about my fixation it’s usually me getting a bunch of merch of it and then i wake up and whoops i dont have it#or i just forget all of my dreams and wake up with nothing to think about.#so i like it when i have some cool bizarre shit related to my fixation happen#its funny because this sounds like something that would happen in either kh itself or someones fanfiction#i wouldnt be surprised if someone has already drawn or written about this#anyway gn i hope i have another weird dream about kh
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When you're one of the most selfish mc who only saves people because it's part of a job you never wanted and did not get to chose or you would've died, who took your co-workers' morals and ideals because you didn't have any and desperately wanted to fit in somewhere, be it with the heroes or the villains, who's activelly haunted by one the most tragic past to have been created and suffer from a psychosis so bad (dare I say schizophrenia) that even your enemies acknowledged that you are mentally ill and objectively flawed in your judgement, never hesitated to try to kill anyone and has the most egoistic reason to be a good person but the fandom still thinks you're just a kind crybaby "I don't know what a gun is" homosexual twink.
#him being refered as an angel by Shibuzawa is FUCKING IRONIC !!#ASAGIRI IS ALWAYS IRONIC WHEN IT COMES TO LIGHT NOVELS CENTERED AROUND ATSUSHI#Ex : The plot of 55min being parallele to the Decay of Angels arc#He's also called the Man-eating tiger and yes I do think that Dazai lied to him when he said he never ate anyone to preserve his psyche#and was also called “the man who can see the future” and has time travelled with Akutagawa like why aren't we talking about that#his relationship with Mori is also actually good#Mori is one if not the only character who saved and helped Atsushi during their first meeting and kept good contacts with him#because yes Atsushi has seen Mori knowing that he was the pm boss off-screen and they had a normal exchange#I also think that Shibuzawa Atsushi and Fyodor are connected to a form of Holy Trinity#Believer/God/Angel or Messenger#Joseph/Jesus/Mary#or Fyodor and Atsushi as Jesus and Judas#but the instance of trinity in bsd are dare I say extreme#Oda/Ango/Dazai#Sigma/Fyodor/Nikolai#Atsushi/Akutagawa/Kyoka#and so on#and the whole situation around his ability which is unlike any other#It turns him into Byakko (her own being) (similar to Natsume) and nullify his wounds no matter how lethal (similar to Dazai and Yosano)#and enhance him even with his ability off making him constantly stronger than other characters and dare I say equal to the hunting dogs#yk the MODIFIED humans#and the plot of both 55mins and Dead Apple being around abilities and giving us Atsushi lore make me think that Atsushi and Byakko are 1/2#probably a sort of higher being since some abilities are very religious centered (how Fyodor sees abilities and Shibuzawa) 2/2#but I think it would lend toward a “sinner” position which would be crazy because that Atsushi would then probably be the reason why Fyodor#hates abilities so much if Atsushi and Byakko are somehow be connected to the “sin” of abilities#and so you guys know Atsushi's orphanage was a church so yes he's related to christianity#and the Decay of Angels is LITTERALY full of religious people to different degrees#and it would be ironic (once again) if the antagonists were the “Angels” and the protagonist a demon#I just realized that I did a lot of typos sorry I got too excited#but yeah keep calling bsd bad written (we're on barely chap.115 no good manga was finished by chap.115 guys just wait for the rest to drop)
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My (very old) loscar brooch (?) that i just now made doodles for
More pictures under cut
#loscar#logan sargeant#ls2#oscar piastri#op81#and now starts the rant#my fave detail is probably tge eye. there few beads like this and they were laying around until my friend said that they look loscar relate#so o started making making whole thing around that bc in my opinion it's genius (also sorry this is gonna have extremely long tags bc i had#run out of them once. maximum is 30 apparently)#I'll go by lains from here so first obviously eagle. i think it's hilarious and what's even funnier is that i bought those charms before#even knowing who Logan was. just for shit and giggles#also to coala i added a bead on top to somewhat match the height#also i love mixing up their colours bc I'm insane about that. how they ideal negatives of eachother and how orange fits logan while blue-os#so i also mixed it up with those animals charms and their attachments here#next stop - oscar lane. there not a lot of black which is bas but at least last heart is actually black. beads above it represents eyes#(you can see with doodles) and next one is for his hair but i couldn't find how to show it#and round see through bead i use for his helmet bc it shines with red yellow and blue#middle part - i talked about the eye but also beads above it. i tried to match tones so they won't clash#then fish and i love that it's in form of heart bc i associate both of them with water so much i needed something here#and bead underneath that is for Logan eyes ofc. for doodles there tried to use brown so oscar would have blond/logan brown but didn't work#AND READ HEART. “-WELL IT'S NOT YELLOW” “PREMA RED THEN?”#as you can see I'm totally normal about their prema times plus i love how it stands out with everything else and can be read as#usual meaning of red hearts. also made out of corals so it fits them too#and last but not least - Logan my beloved#first and foremost STARS#I added as much as humanly possible party bc of American meme party bc i fucking love stars and associate him with them#also added all williams shades of blue and even white so it covers all that#okay no I lied a bit bc i used a button for their dark blue#another thing i would like to mention is metal ring bc it has extremely small hearts on it that you need to look for to notice#I HIT LIMIT FUCK.last thing to say is how I tried to play with circles in middle of every lane. okay goodbye
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it fascinates me how often a choice of first or - gasp - second person storytelling can create so much derision and discourse. having preferences is fine obviously, and as a writing choice it Does matter, because all writing choices matter. i don't really... notice?? anymore??? or like, i DO notice, but more in a "what information will the narrative give me access to" kind of way.
i know second person especially can be jarring if you're not used to it, because it's "he would not fucking say that" but for yourself. but it's also like... so many song lyrics have "you" and "i" and to me they're just. a story that exists separate from me. (to the degree lyrics exist to me at all as something other than Sounds that are part of a music piece, but that's the audio processing disorder/'did not grow up with english as a first language and never bothered to decode lyrics' of it all speaking)
i suspect a lot of derision towards first person narratives comes from a derision towards the genres in which it is a staple, rather than that it's somehow uniquely bad. there's really not much difference between a first person perspective and limited third person perspective??
#when i read the night circus by erin morgenstern many years ago the second person interludes were so alien and strange to me#what a bold and fascinating choice!! along with the black edges of the pages the book felt so strange and unique!!!#fast forward to now. reads a good short story. sees comment balking at the second person narration. realises i didn't even notice#also this is just me musing abt stuff i am not trying to discourse or discard anyone's very real feelings n opinions#ive also been thinking abt song lyrics and how many people take them as something deeply personal and by neccessity relatable#and like that's often the intention of the music!!!! it can be something so deeply personal!!!#i rarely think of music as relatable on account of. well mostly i don't hear most of the lyrics#second a lot of the music i listen to is like. folk music as a form of storytelling#and third a lot of music abt falling in love and stuff is just not gonna resonate with an aroace person and that's. so much music#my personal music priorities are Vibes and Banginess. i#am so sleepy rn
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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