#even if they are critiquing my fic
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
every time i start panicking about the small details (like how i don't know near as much marvel lore as i do DC, etc) i remind myself that LoF wasn't supposed to get super popular and im just having fun and practicing writing for my own books and suddenly that anxiety goes away. like it's not gonna be perfect and it was born out of me and my friend being goofy
#sometimes people act like it's an actual comic#which is fun most of the time because that means they consider my writing to be up there and equality#even if they are critiquing my fic#(which is crazy because i didn't ask for criticism)#but sometimes it really does make me anxious#like often people forget that my very first a/n was me explaining that this peter is from an au fic i was never gonna publish#i just used him at the time cause i was more used to writing him#this peter has a different origin story because it's based off of an au of peter fics + other comics#which is why i had aunt may killed off#if marvel can have a plotline where deadpool killed clones of ben and may then i can have this#there's also an alt timeline where ben lived and may died im pretty sure#so yeah i can fuck with his origin story#because it's not that serious#post made because someone sent me an ask that i don't want to give attention to#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#leap of faith catch me if you can
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#like genuinely i am sooo tired of the first#like yes yes jason is a stupid unstable idiot who misunderstands everything and somehow comes to the most stupid#wrong conclusions ever and he just needs to see things from his family's perspective#and learn how much they loved and missed him when he was dead WHATEVERRR can you shut uppp#cus yknow how many times i've read fic of any of the batfam actually holding jason's opinion as valid or even doing silly lil small things#like 'not horribly invading his privacy' and 'actually respecting his very reasonable boundaries'? VERY rarely.#when will i get to read a fic where jason's extremely valid&understandable complaints and critiques are actually taken to heart and#anyone puts any effort into actually improving themselves and finding a middle ground#but no sorry i forgot. jason's just a fucking idiot who misreads and misunderstands everything his family does bc he's not a goddamn mind#reader who can somehow understand every miniscule twitch of batman's cape#if my dad prioritized my abuser over me i'd be very valid in concluding he might not care for me that much actually </3#i stop being sympathetic to bruce's issues the moment they're used as an excuse for him to mistreat his kids sorryyy#sorry i'm in a pissy mood rn. this isn't directed at any one specific person i'm just annoyed how common this is. it's a whole pattern.#its own genre of jason fic with no warning for it
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
325 notes
·
View notes
Text
Um if you write Jason having to get drugs for Catherine I want you dead btw. Not only does it tell me you assume the average drug dealer would give the hard shit to a very small child and then not supervise them at all (classist stereotype that all drug dealers are inherently evil + lazy writing with no grasp on reality) and you genuinely think that Catherine was CONSTANTLY high, as if that's even possible without overdosing far sooner than she did. That's without even getting into the bad mom Catherine propaganda.
#dc#jason todd#Catherine Todd#I don't like talking about personal shit on the Internet#but I'm someone who grew up in a family of addicts and dealers and the attitude so many of these fics have#is so fucked up#like yeah my uncle would give a 15 year old weed but he won't even let them be in the house while he's doing coke#every dealer I've ever met had been THRILLED about my enthusiasm towards school and they always encouraged me#Multiple of them have given me actual job opportunities because they know a lot of people and they help their own#you guys actually just hate poor people and demonize addiction!#it's actually starting to piss me off#you don't have to write Cathy as a perfect example of morality#but if you turn her into a neglectful monster I assume you're either classist or projecting#it actually is possible to write Jason parentifying himself in order to take care of Cathy#without blaming a terminally ill woman who was already dying and likely in immense pain#you guys could be critiquing capitalism and our healthcare system and how it fails the most vulnerable people in our society#but instead you're playing up how gross and evil addicts and dealers and petty crooks are to make Jason's lige sadder???#his life already sucks you don't have to be classist to make it worse I promise
116 notes
·
View notes
Note
omgggg shipping is not arophobic in the LEAST but keep making us look like whiners with no real problems by continuing to complain about it I guess
yeah that's definitely what i said in any post ever man great job
average person who has made shipping their entire identity will see a post where someone says 'hey please don't say these specific types of things that are degrading and cruel about nonromantic relationships while enjoying your ships and maybe examine the thought processes and beliefs and prejudices that led to saying them' and be like 'oh so you're a whiner with no real problems who thinks shipping is arophobic?'
telling on yourself there bud
#gav gab#lmaoooooooo#gav answers#i feel like my brain ghosts would have a much harder time with this if i didn't already like#obsessively couch every single comment i made about shipping and arophobia and amatonormativity#with a million disclaimers about how everyone is allowed to do what they want and enjoy what they enjoy#implying this comes from a fellow aro person is like#unfortunately not hard to accept bc i have seen a Lot of aro people who love shipping#also fall down the same logic traps#of people's behaviour when shipping can Never be questioned or criticized bc shipping is sacrosanct#bc they feel like#idk particularly self conscious about engaging in arophobic behaviour when shipping#ive noticed that like people who make shipping their entire fandom identity have a VERY LOW distress tolerance#for someone even so much as not also approaching fandom that way#and watching them freak out at the mere suggestion that it's possible for someone to#ever so gently suggest maybe the way they talk about this affects other people#and 'but my ships' isn't a blanket justification to say whatever you want forever about relationships and love and feelings#and devotion and whatever else and how Friends Don't Look At Friends Like That!!11!111!!!!!#bc it's Not That Deep and It's Just A Joke Calm Down and Ship And Let Ship!!!!!!!#is like. well. skill issue. i am so uncomfortable in fandom spaces all the time lmao you couldn't survive in my shoes#imagine being so selfish and incapable of handling people having different experiences that you hear like#the mildest critique of your behaviour and go so far off the rails you send shit like This#is this take for real 'it's not possible for any shipping related behaviour to be arophobic' bc if so uh. Uh#shipping related behaviour is not immune from critque about but not limited to#misogyny homophobia racism arophobia etc etc you do actually have to care abt other people#even when youre making your barbies kiss. sorry!#i see a notification on my inbox and i get excited to see a message. maybe it's about one of my fics or smth!#no. it is this asshole.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i get critiquing plot holes and power differences/disadvantages and systemic things like sexism and sexualization/fetishization and racism in manga and stories in general, and i also understand loving your favorite character and wanting a certain outcome for them, but it's always a little bonkers to me that people geniuenly believe they could have come up with better endings or outcomes than the authors themselves... like i know people get attached to their favs and everything but manga and story telling is an artform and it's art that's created by a real life person who chooses to share their story with you there is no "better" ending that you could have come up with because you couldn't have come up with those characters in the first place! sure you think you could worm them around in better scenarios but even that is wishful thinking because you couldn't have, wouldn't have, and didn't come up with the world and scenes around them to navigate them in canon in the first place! idk i get wishful thinking and hopes and cracking jokes and fix-it fics and ships all that but sometimes i feel like people need to be humble and take a step back lol.... it's not your story and there's nothing for you to change, much less publicly scream about how the author fucked up just bc your favorite character didnt end up how you wanted them to.... and if u feel that strongly just like... do it in your own little online or irl community lol there's no need to scream on the internet every 3 months about how u think the mangaka who gave u the character u love so much is a piss poor artist
#delete later#like yeah i have my critiques of aot and jjk and naruto but i would never go so far as to say 'i could have written this better'#or 'x-mangaka didnt know what they were doing' bc they did..... and i couldnt have come up w those characters#there are things like ok based on events of other characters and rules about power scales#i can say i think sakura should have had ying/yang chakra abilities and i can say i think her story should have been as clear as others#but that's different than say lol sakura was NEVER meant to marry sasuke or catch up to him and naruto bc clearly she was 😭 bc she did#and even with jjk like sure ur attached to sukuna for whatever reason#but calling it disney kaisen and saying its cooked bc sukuna lost is crazy....#like of all the things to critique jjk on ur mad bc th evil guy the author planned to defeat was defeated........#and obvs im for making up little scenarios where everyone is happy and well and gets to do what i want thats what fics are#but thats so different than standing 10 toes down and saying gege is a trash author because nanami died#like OFC i want nanami back but the world is still spinning....#also im not saying that anyone is immune to like. the quality of their story declining bc that can 100% happen but its different#than trashing an artist just bc ur fav didnt get what u thought might happen to thenm#mie.txt
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
please exit your ableist harassment fandom right now
genuinely flabbergasted what fandom this could be about
#lets see#my main fandoms:#worm (powers are often metaphors for mental physical or social disabilities and respectfully analyzed as such by the fandom)#woe.begone (main character is physically disabled (though i feel it goes underemphasized in canon) and the fandom likes playing that up)#mcyt (one of my favorite mcyts is a disabled wheelchair user and the fics ive seen of him are often INCREDIBLY good disability rep)#ace attorney (canon has some yikes moments for sure but the fandom by and large likes to ignore those moments and make it into good rep)#slay the princess (cant think of any possible way this could connect to disability or ableism except with some fun interpretations)#(which ill have to remember bc interpreting say the Den or the Spectre as physically disabled fascinates me now)#malevolent (im not in this fandom anymore but even when i was i dont think you can critique it for ableism. sanism yes absolutely)#(malevolent SHOULD be panned for its rampant sanism. but ableism? the main characters are a blind man and an effectively paralyzed man)#(the content of most episodes revolve around them using each other to help lighten the load of those disabilities)#yeah im. lost. ur gonna have to spell this one out for me anon <3#asks
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
#Welcome to the low effort memes I put in my group chats#I am that person who throws badly paint.js'd images into chat at every oppertunity#fanfic#This came from another spirited discussion over whether commenting is good even if it's not in-depth or offering critique (IT IS)#I will never understand people who treat interaction with fanfic like a high school book report#I've left comments on peoples fics like 'yo this fic slaaaaped. Love what you're doing with the genre. Keep it up'#The authors didn't seem to mind!
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Drew Keith from Voltron again, except it’s getting better
#Keith kogane#Keith fanart#vld fanart#vld#voltron legendary defender#happy bday Keith even tho it’s late#and I wrote a fic and did art for ur bday alr#guess who just learned how to blend#art critique welcome but PLZ BE GENTLE W MY FEELINGS
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmm critiques and wishlist items for the writing of the spirealm below
i think one of the things that really frustrates me about the writing for the spirealm (aside from the way that the dialogue seems to have been written for a radio play and is therefore repetitive and often restates information already extremely clear to the viewer from the cinematography) is that it doesn't strike the specific "acting within a game" balance that i personally want as a person who studied computer programming
there's all this worldbuilding around the rules within a door and the behavior of npcs and what's needed to find the exit door and the key within each door. narratively, this consistently also involves some kind of heart-to-heart or demonstrated understanding of some core experience or emotional wound or backstory of the door ghost. but — in those confrontations, i wish that the show picked a side more.
either option 1 — following through what happened in door one with the snow village, where it turned out to be UNUSUAL for ljs to have a heart-to-heart, and he subverted whatever the normal door rules are in order to leave (we also aren't ever told this which weakens the thematic and narrative impact of his 'subversion' imo). or, option 2 — how games work irl, which is that there are certain key phrases to say to important characters, or key actions to do, that unlock further information and story progression.
as it is, to me, the spirealm toes an awkward line between these two options. the viewer is never given enough information about the true rules of each door to feel tension that the main characters will get into trouble (in fact we're basically told nothing about them beyond this sort of arbitrary "there is one taboo condition per door" which for some reason wasn't true in door 1 but has been true for all subsequent, more challenging doors). the final confrontations with each of the door ghosts seem to consistently follow a pattern of some heart-to-heart conversation but the conversations are written as though they are conversations held between two human people, rather than one human player and one npc who behaves according to specific rules and needs to be told a specific thing in order to react a certain way.
it's possible i'm missing something big behind the intention of the show, to be written this way, but for now i'm mostly frustrated. to be honest, to make the storytelling more effective, i would be really happy actually to see a show like this lean more heavily into pattern stories, or some of the techniques that work well in time loop stories, where main characters (or door travelers in this case) have to try different actions in the same scenarios to change things or get different results slowly after an accumulation of information and understanding of the situation.
#i gotta say i think im mostly SO frustrated bc this is like. exactly the center of two things i think about a lot and care about a lot#like AAAAAAAA LJS IS A PROGRAMMER. HE KNOWS HOW TO DEBUG. HE SHOULD APPROACH! THESE PROBLEMS! LIKE HE IS DEBUGGING! BECAUSE THAT IS HOW#ENGINEERS ARE TRAINED TO WORK!!!! AAAAAAAA EXPLODES AND DIES#anyway i am seriously contemplating writing fic for this show only to prove to myself there IS another more compelling way to write this#like im watching in mandarin not even in the language i write fiction in. and almost every minute im going:#ok well if you literally just changed two lines or cut this line or added this line THERE WOULD ACTUALLY BE TENSION IN THIS SCENE#INSTEAD OF ME BEING SPOON-FED SEQUENTIAL BEATS OF A STORY#i also kind of like. wish there were consequences for our main characters like. ever. i think that's probably my main critique —#the sense of causation in the writing is really weak for a story structure that SHOULD BE A PATTERN STORY. ONE OF THE EASIEST STRUCTURES TO#INSERT CAUSATION AND ESCALATION INTO#anyway. ok im done for now#but this is why i have about zero liveblog posts. bc this show drives me insane (DEROGATORY)#im sticking it out for ljs's haircut change and rnz's bitchiness tho#hidey watches the spirealm
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
expectations (a due south fic)
F/K, 1.5k words, additional tags: first kiss, stupid phone conversations, drama over a duffel bag
I'll tell you what I told ao3:
"My writing hit a wall a while back. To deal with it, I decided I'd write the only way I can now—short fic I can seat-of-my-pants in one day. A piece for each ship/fandom/idea where I have wips or thoughts that I can't make into actual works. This is the first one.
Thanks to @nigeltde-fic for dragging me down with this ship, and generally being a champion. <3”"
read on ao3
Maybe it really is a damn Groundhog Day type situation. Only twice as boring and nobody gets the girl, like, ever.
One thing he never pictured when he thought of the after-fraser-life, which he didn’t do very often, or, well, maybe he did, but he didn’t like doing it, point being—one thing he didn’t imagine was that it would be the same. As in, poof, never happened, must have daydreamed it, off you go, Stanley, play well with the boys.
And, well, it isn’t really a never-happened kinda deal, because Fraser, he just lives in a pocket in Ray’s head now, twenty-four-literal-seven, like friends do, you know, or something close. And what with Vecchio and Stella fucking off to Florida and Frannie doing her thing all while they were still doing the big adventure stuff, between all that it’s hard to not notice the change. But other than that—it’s the same job, the same desk (his desk, The Kowalski Desk), the same bottle in the cabinet above the sink and the same—the inside of his head is the same, too, giving him trouble like always.
The way they left things—if that’s even what happened, left things, huh—it’s not what he feared. Not what he expected, either—and it took him many, many frozen-through adrenaline-drunk days to put a finger on it, that there was an expectation. And now back here, it’s like one of those tip-of-the-tongue moments he’s so familiar with, only with that expectation; it circles him all predatory with every lonely shuffle around his dance-apartment-floor and every stupid late night reruns session and every finger of drink he takes with that, and then it wafts away on the wind, leaving him feeling like he missed a step and twisted his ankle. Which is kinda stupid, when you come to think of it, since it looks like all his worst-case scenarios solved themselves and left him with a cushy little offering while he was playing explorer, and wasn’t that what it was all about.
And maybe it wasn’t, because Fraser calls, like he does, which floors Ray a little every single time for reasons he can’t even begin to articulate, he calls on a Friday and brings him up to speed on Dief’s aversion to the nearest Tim Hortons (nearest being a few hours’ trip to Yellowknife) because quote he says it’s cheating and Chicago ones tasted better and frankly it’s insulting end quote and how you pay and pay and pay and how he fixed up the cabin now and the second bed is new and really much better than the one Ray had to deal with up there, he made sure of that (felled the best tree he could find, Ray wagers), and Ray finds himself nodding and humming and gripping the stupid station handset, knuckles gone white, biting his cheek, hell if he knows why, not like his smile could do any damage at this point. “There isn’t a waiting list for that bed, is there?” he says, no reservations worth stopping for. And, “no,” says Fraser, and there’s that expectation, clarion as you please, ten-four, roger that. “Greatness,” Ray says, and hangs up, and does a little shimmy he’s not even ashamed of.
And then Fraser doesn’t call for three weeks, in which Ray is very productive, managing to vent drunkenly at Turtle who looks so unimpressed Ray thinks he actually hears him sigh, pack the bag, unpack the bag, consider terminating the lease, call in with Welsh then come in anyway, chase the latest case into almost three whole days awake and get sent away by Welsh anyway once the Bonnie and Clyde of small-time food truck GTA are locked up, pick up the phone roughly thirty-seven times, put it down thirty-six, and that last time, Fraser picks up and calls out for him softly and he’s too much of a chicken to do it back. Where exactly they tripped in a dance Ray felt resonate in his bones, he can’t guess.
Week four, Fraser calls, only it’s Ray’s doorbell that rings this time, and he picks himself up faster than he would the phone.
“Fraser,” he says first, then swings the door open, “Frase,” gripping his wrists way too tight, “what in god’s name was that—scratch that, don’t say, one thing it was is not buddies.”
“I don’t see what you mean, Ray,” Fraser says, and it’s supposed to make him angry, this far in, only this time Fraser is wrapped up in a soft green-gray flannel instead of the red walking coffin and he has his beat-up bag and the stupid hat on, so even Ray can see through the reflex of it. Fraser tugs gently at him. “Ah, Ray, if you could just let me put my bag down—thank you kindly.’
“You do, Frase, I know you do.” He lets Fraser’s wrists go for half a second it takes for the bag to thud onto the floor—other side of the threshold, damn it—and not a moment longer. “Did you come to stand outside my home and bullshit me?”
“Yes. I mean, not for that, no, but yes, I forgot about—oh, darn,” he says and tugs one hand free to take his stetson off, which is how you know, if you’re Ray, things are afoot. Big things. Momentary events in history. So when Fraser steps one foot in and leans back against the doorjamb and pulls him near—with hands snaking under his arms to land just below his shoulder blades, one half of a hug not yet given, a freakish way only Fraser would go with, which fires Ray up instantly, heat flooding his face like a punch he has to close his eyes against—when that’s done, Ray can find his mouth blind he’s so ready.
“You’re off,” he mumbles, because Fraser is the one with eyes open and he still landed somewhere around where Ray’s lips turn into his cheek, and then only corrected half an inch down, catching the corner of his open-eager mouth.
Fraser presses a kiss there, with intent. “Not,” he says, and then, then he hits the bullseye, fucking A, bingo, job done, you get a sticker—or a mouthful of tongue, because that’s faster where they stand.
“Momentous,” Fraser says into Ray’s hair, some breathless minutes later, and Ray says, “wha—’ and Fraser says, “you said, or rather mouthed, something about momentary events, if my memory serves—well, it must, it’s only been three minutes. I suppose you meant momentous, given the context.”
“Jesus, Shakespeare, come the fuck in, what do I have to offer to get you both feet inside.”
Fraser straightens but doesn’t move an inch to displace Ray where he’s giving him the second half of a hug. “Well, Ray, I didn’t mean to stay, per se.”
Ray disentangles them and tugs at the lapels of Fraser’s really very soft shirt, whenever he’s grabbed those, huh. He blinks once, twice, and thinks about how many bottles he will have to get for that cabinet now, because fucking hell. The bastard didn’t even have the courtesy to rub at his eyebrow, so to him it all makes sense somehow. He looks down and frowns.
“What’s with the bag?”
When he looks back up, Fraser smiles, an honest to god I’m-back-in-ten-foot-snow-and-alive-again grin, eyes kind of superglued to Ray’s face. “Promised Dief to get some of those Chicago donuts, which are, apparently ‘the right kind’.”
Ray steps back, shoves at Fraser’s chest, no way-like, and folds in two with laughter. Fraser looks at him all affectionate, and the absurdity is so familiar it gives Ray a headrush. Or maybe that’s all the wheezing he's doing.
“A bag? A whole bag of donuts?”
Fraser gets this look where his eyes get all liquid and light, and now that Ray’s got the manual he knows that translates to scared and hopeful in downright unhealthy measures. “I didn’t count on being back to Chicago soon.”
Ray can feel he’s doing the superglue thing now, too.
Fraser clears his throat. “Oh dear. Unless—I didn’t mean to presume, it’s only that on the phone—”
Ray cuts him off in a voice that’s too rough to seize the reins of, so it will probably break in there somewhere but it’s all a-okay now, isn’t it—says, “You’ll have to get in here, Frase. I think I’ll want some pants with my donuts, and I’m now in the bag-unpacked phase—uh, anyway.”
He heads inside and hears Fraser shut the door and toe off his boots.
So maybe there was no tripping after all. Just Fraser and his insane moves Ray always learns, dancing skills be damned. Good thing he isn’t Bill Murray—would be awkward to explain this to the girl.
#my writing#fic#due south#jesus i'm so tired of not writing#or writing and stopping one third in because i suck at storytelling or even figuring out my own theme#or writing and hating every sentence#or writing and knowing fast-and-sloppy writing is the only kind i can finish#or being so cringed out with my words once i finish that i can't stomach the idea of anyone's eyes on it#let alone any kind of beta so i cut off the avenues of getting critique and getting better#or writing and feeling like i'm forcing people to read#i don't believe in writer's block but i believe in shitty life circumstances and mental health issues#so there's that#if you read this whole vent i thank you and hope you at least enjoy the fic to make up for it#f/k#due south fic#fraser/rayk#fraser/kowalski
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
was in the process of typing "sorry if this is bitchy" but like no, this is bitchy and i am not sorry, im having a bad night! being a reader does not make you a good editor or a good critic. like sure ur opinions are valid but random critiques from strangers are not helpful to me.
the types of concrit i have received unprompted in ao3 comments have been at their base: a reflection of a personal opinion on a fic trope or characterization, an inadvertant admission that the commenter is deeply unfamiliar with the topic or genre of the fic, or just a lack of reading comprehension. either bc the commenter didnt read the tags, didnt read the actual literal text of the fic, or dont know where the fic is going. if i want criticism i will ask one of my writer friends who is a good critic, like. i promise you are not helping me become a better writer and everything will be okay if you express the thought that is in your head to someone who is not me.
#critique in particular is a skill which requires like. emotional intelligence and nuance#the venn diagram of ppl who arent equipped to be a constructive critic and ppl who feel compelled to provide concrit in ao3 comments is like#basically a circle#if ur emotionally unable to handle the idea that ur opinion about a work of art is fundamentally inconsequential#and accurately weigh the pros and cons of providing concrit UNPROMPTED#its also quite likely that u do not have the analytical skills to provide solid crit#or the social emotional skills to be constructive#in other words. lol.#this is bitchy but ive been yelled at ao much by idiots. i have so many stories. do not even get me started#everyone has been nice about my xmen fic tho :3#happy#life is too short to make someone feel bad about their hobby imo
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my brain can fit so many bad ideas inside of it
#past few months like a whisper on the wind i hear “rewrite learn to live...”#i hear “u were 18 and high w a fever from the flu for like 90% of the chapters. u can do better now”#“its so rough and unpolished even for othet fics from that era. you could make it better now”#and the angel on my shoulder is like. no. we are not doing that. its on an orphaned account#and despite all my self-critique of it PEOPLE LIKED IT its my 2nd most popular fic ever#there are two dogs inside of me one is viciously chewing at a poisonous stick and the other is trying to pry the stick out of the others maw#theres sooooo much wrong w the fic tho like every time i read it im like. bro. what the fuck was i on#the flu is the answer lmao i was home from HIGH SCHOOL w a high fever for like a week#and during that time i wrote a majority of learn to live... and like the sequel and side stories arent so bad#but learn to live im like. bro. bro. what the fuck#anyways. rambling. LMAO#if you dont know learn to live thats probably for the fuckin best its got a ROUGH start#i am appalled every time i read it LMAO girl whyd you do that (me to 18 year old me)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)
#just thinking about this wip again………… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i#ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to#write ch1? :o#and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes.#just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and#all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit#nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed#o.o wild to think about…..#like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the#sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that#sort of thing.#not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i#also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc.#i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try#again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o#just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me.#suffaru post#saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH#my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET????#in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏#if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
[personal and vaguely unnecessary whining underneath, just a bunch of undigisted and personal thoughts about my problems with Creation and Art that mostly just concern myself, but here they are anyway woooo!!!!]
feeling some kind of way about having to concede my artistic calling truly is in fanwork, but, yeah. all of my creative energy really tends towards fanwork, and like. not even the popular kind really, but the long, cerebral, pretentious kind of fanwork that is impossibly costly to produce yet comes with an inherently very limited audience at the end of the road. but every time I try to do something else, something "original", I get frustrated and I feel like I have nothing to say, or that what I have to say isn't really worth saying/that I'm only kind of doing this out of fear of being perceived as illegitimate rather than because of actual passion. I have original ideas, but I don't even really like most of them. it's weird, to have your inner creative fire being so intricately connected to something you will never have legal control over, something you can't really show off/take actual pride in, and something that is, by and large, decried as a waste of talent or time or proper artistic merit.
but yeah, it's the shape of my brain. it's what it is. I'm just not sure how to connect this reality to the rest of my creative/career frustrations. weird place to be, don't love that my brain chose to be like this honestly.
#thoughts#personal#I have spent my entire youth being criticized because of my enthusiasm for fanwork instead of proper creation you could gain accolades for#granted I shouldn't have gotten that kind of pressure before I was even age 10#but#yeah I know having a brain made for original work doesnt automatically mean you gain recognition and respect#but fanwork is just. not the way to go.#there's a ton of people I know who have a latent condescencion towards me because I write fanwork#in a given style that is pretty hard to parse through#I indeed do refuse to prioritize digestibility and clarity#but I do that in fandom instead of in lit fic!!! because I'm stupid!! my brain is dumb!!!#but yeah I don't know what to tell you all my best and most audacious work is fanwork#it is what it is and I don't think it will change#and I don't think fanwork is shameful or should be considered lesser#why should it be???#it holds the potential of sitting at the crossroad of deep-cut critique + admiration and love + creative experimentation#in a medium that is deeply entranched within our current era of media consumption and therefore I would argue is inherent commentary#also I wrote for IPs for work and what I did there was much dumber than what I might have written on my own#anyway weird thoughts and weird question marks for my future as the industry is slowly falling apart around me#might delete later but I just. mood post. feeling weird.#deflated professionnally and endlessly energized outside of that even though both are two sides of the same kind of work#a mood for weird and uncertain times I guess
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Skipping an update for tomorrow bc I had a super long day- zucker got sucked into a gelatinous cube, etc etc, you get it
#personal#also someone left the most mildly critical critique on the fox#which like absolutely no hate to them#it was so well thought out and well written and it made sense!!#but my ego is a fragile fragile thing esp since I’ve never written a real thing like this before Hsdgs#so I’m giving myself a day to like#recover LOL#it wasn’t even negative they said they loved the fic they just had a note#and I’m bein a huuuuuge baby abt it#wah wah etc etc#anyways#next update on weds :)
22 notes
·
View notes