#even if they are critiquing my fic
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every time i start panicking about the small details (like how i don't know near as much marvel lore as i do DC, etc) i remind myself that LoF wasn't supposed to get super popular and im just having fun and practicing writing for my own books and suddenly that anxiety goes away. like it's not gonna be perfect and it was born out of me and my friend being goofy
#sometimes people act like it's an actual comic#which is fun most of the time because that means they consider my writing to be up there and equality#even if they are critiquing my fic#(which is crazy because i didn't ask for criticism)#but sometimes it really does make me anxious#like often people forget that my very first a/n was me explaining that this peter is from an au fic i was never gonna publish#i just used him at the time cause i was more used to writing him#this peter has a different origin story because it's based off of an au of peter fics + other comics#which is why i had aunt may killed off#if marvel can have a plotline where deadpool killed clones of ben and may then i can have this#there's also an alt timeline where ben lived and may died im pretty sure#so yeah i can fuck with his origin story#because it's not that serious#post made because someone sent me an ask that i don't want to give attention to#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#leap of faith catch me if you can
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THE NEW CHAPTER OF MISTAKES ON MISTAKES UNTIL IS OUT AND YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS~~~~~~
Spoilers for ch 74 below >:)




Head in hands. And then they all happened to be self sacrificial idiots.
Infinitely delighted by the fact that Optimus automatically decided to catch whoever was falling and only look who that was afterwards. 100/10. Peak Optimus writing.
#fic fanart#momu fanart#maccadam#transformers#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#optimus prime#megatron#momu is so good it made me draw megatron again✊ this is what true power looks like#teeny tiny doodle of Ratchet#I love momu Optimus beyond imaginable#usually I’m much more interested in him while he’s still Orion#because Optimus feels much more restricted in his thoughts and actions you know#in fics. I forgot to say I was talking about OP in fics#but in MOMU? I don’t even know how to describe it?? He is so comforting#he is all responsible and noble but also JUST the right amount of whimsical and chaotic 🤌#also I WAS NOT PREPARED for that level of architectural descriptions#my brain went ‘bruh we don’t fucking know all those words for space station structure components let’s give up how about that’#ahahahahahdjdjjfjf#not a critique by the way absolutely not#I’m gonna reread this fic at least one more time to catch more details and understand more of#uh#*vaguely waves hands*#this. everything.#because I’m 100% sure the whole story is FILLED with more layers I haven’t catch purely because I didn’t know what to look for
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"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#like genuinely i am sooo tired of the first#like yes yes jason is a stupid unstable idiot who misunderstands everything and somehow comes to the most stupid#wrong conclusions ever and he just needs to see things from his family's perspective#and learn how much they loved and missed him when he was dead WHATEVERRR can you shut uppp#cus yknow how many times i've read fic of any of the batfam actually holding jason's opinion as valid or even doing silly lil small things#like 'not horribly invading his privacy' and 'actually respecting his very reasonable boundaries'? VERY rarely.#when will i get to read a fic where jason's extremely valid&understandable complaints and critiques are actually taken to heart and#anyone puts any effort into actually improving themselves and finding a middle ground#but no sorry i forgot. jason's just a fucking idiot who misreads and misunderstands everything his family does bc he's not a goddamn mind#reader who can somehow understand every miniscule twitch of batman's cape#if my dad prioritized my abuser over me i'd be very valid in concluding he might not care for me that much actually </3#i stop being sympathetic to bruce's issues the moment they're used as an excuse for him to mistreat his kids sorryyy#sorry i'm in a pissy mood rn. this isn't directed at any one specific person i'm just annoyed how common this is. it's a whole pattern.#its own genre of jason fic with no warning for it
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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i get critiquing plot holes and power differences/disadvantages and systemic things like sexism and sexualization/fetishization and racism in manga and stories in general, and i also understand loving your favorite character and wanting a certain outcome for them, but it's always a little bonkers to me that people geniuenly believe they could have come up with better endings or outcomes than the authors themselves... like i know people get attached to their favs and everything but manga and story telling is an artform and it's art that's created by a real life person who chooses to share their story with you there is no "better" ending that you could have come up with because you couldn't have come up with those characters in the first place! sure you think you could worm them around in better scenarios but even that is wishful thinking because you couldn't have, wouldn't have, and didn't come up with the world and scenes around them to navigate them in canon in the first place! idk i get wishful thinking and hopes and cracking jokes and fix-it fics and ships all that but sometimes i feel like people need to be humble and take a step back lol.... it's not your story and there's nothing for you to change, much less publicly scream about how the author fucked up just bc your favorite character didnt end up how you wanted them to.... and if u feel that strongly just like... do it in your own little online or irl community lol there's no need to scream on the internet every 3 months about how u think the mangaka who gave u the character u love so much is a piss poor artist
#delete later#like yeah i have my critiques of aot and jjk and naruto but i would never go so far as to say 'i could have written this better'#or 'x-mangaka didnt know what they were doing' bc they did..... and i couldnt have come up w those characters#there are things like ok based on events of other characters and rules about power scales#i can say i think sakura should have had ying/yang chakra abilities and i can say i think her story should have been as clear as others#but that's different than say lol sakura was NEVER meant to marry sasuke or catch up to him and naruto bc clearly she was 😭 bc she did#and even with jjk like sure ur attached to sukuna for whatever reason#but calling it disney kaisen and saying its cooked bc sukuna lost is crazy....#like of all the things to critique jjk on ur mad bc th evil guy the author planned to defeat was defeated........#and obvs im for making up little scenarios where everyone is happy and well and gets to do what i want thats what fics are#but thats so different than standing 10 toes down and saying gege is a trash author because nanami died#like OFC i want nanami back but the world is still spinning....#also im not saying that anyone is immune to like. the quality of their story declining bc that can 100% happen but its different#than trashing an artist just bc ur fav didnt get what u thought might happen to thenm#mie.txt
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please exit your ableist harassment fandom right now
genuinely flabbergasted what fandom this could be about
#lets see#my main fandoms:#worm (powers are often metaphors for mental physical or social disabilities and respectfully analyzed as such by the fandom)#woe.begone (main character is physically disabled (though i feel it goes underemphasized in canon) and the fandom likes playing that up)#mcyt (one of my favorite mcyts is a disabled wheelchair user and the fics ive seen of him are often INCREDIBLY good disability rep)#ace attorney (canon has some yikes moments for sure but the fandom by and large likes to ignore those moments and make it into good rep)#slay the princess (cant think of any possible way this could connect to disability or ableism except with some fun interpretations)#(which ill have to remember bc interpreting say the Den or the Spectre as physically disabled fascinates me now)#malevolent (im not in this fandom anymore but even when i was i dont think you can critique it for ableism. sanism yes absolutely)#(malevolent SHOULD be panned for its rampant sanism. but ableism? the main characters are a blind man and an effectively paralyzed man)#(the content of most episodes revolve around them using each other to help lighten the load of those disabilities)#yeah im. lost. ur gonna have to spell this one out for me anon <3#asks
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#Welcome to the low effort memes I put in my group chats#I am that person who throws badly paint.js'd images into chat at every oppertunity#fanfic#This came from another spirited discussion over whether commenting is good even if it's not in-depth or offering critique (IT IS)#I will never understand people who treat interaction with fanfic like a high school book report#I've left comments on peoples fics like 'yo this fic slaaaaped. Love what you're doing with the genre. Keep it up'#The authors didn't seem to mind!
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Drew Keith from Voltron again, except it’s getting better
#Keith kogane#Keith fanart#vld fanart#vld#voltron legendary defender#happy bday Keith even tho it’s late#and I wrote a fic and did art for ur bday alr#guess who just learned how to blend#art critique welcome but PLZ BE GENTLE W MY FEELINGS
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was in the process of typing "sorry if this is bitchy" but like no, this is bitchy and i am not sorry, im having a bad night! being a reader does not make you a good editor or a good critic. like sure ur opinions are valid but random critiques from strangers are not helpful to me.
the types of concrit i have received unprompted in ao3 comments have been at their base: a reflection of a personal opinion on a fic trope or characterization, an inadvertant admission that the commenter is deeply unfamiliar with the topic or genre of the fic, or just a lack of reading comprehension. either bc the commenter didnt read the tags, didnt read the actual literal text of the fic, or dont know where the fic is going. if i want criticism i will ask one of my writer friends who is a good critic, like. i promise you are not helping me become a better writer and everything will be okay if you express the thought that is in your head to someone who is not me.
#critique in particular is a skill which requires like. emotional intelligence and nuance#the venn diagram of ppl who arent equipped to be a constructive critic and ppl who feel compelled to provide concrit in ao3 comments is like#basically a circle#if ur emotionally unable to handle the idea that ur opinion about a work of art is fundamentally inconsequential#and accurately weigh the pros and cons of providing concrit UNPROMPTED#its also quite likely that u do not have the analytical skills to provide solid crit#or the social emotional skills to be constructive#in other words. lol.#this is bitchy but ive been yelled at ao much by idiots. i have so many stories. do not even get me started#everyone has been nice about my xmen fic tho :3#happy#life is too short to make someone feel bad about their hobby imo
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also you know. i need to stop worrying about meeting some abstract quality standard on my fics and prose bc my friend has been sending me excerpts from what i presume must be specifically popular kazumaji ones and a lot of them i would not be able to read due to the prose and/or characterization. and if those are the popular ones then maybe i'll be fine with the shit i cook up too even if it's not perfect
#soda.txt#“i am not capturing the complexities of majima and my prose is dry as oatmeal” i lament to myself#then get sent a fic excerpt where most sentences in the paragraph start with “he” and the wording in the dialogue is inexplicably off#maybe i'll be fine. maybe we need to have some mercy towards ourselves here#and others bc i feel mean whenever i find things to critique about fics. even if i try to be constructive about it and keep it to myself
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🐊🦒
#okay gonna. try that again#the only reason i reblogged that post today. the ONLY reason#is because i trusted y'all to behave. because we have all behaved so far#i've reblogged posts disagreeing with the OP before! even more contentious ones! and y'all behaved!#and yet today? i reblog a post with critique and#y'all don't behave? you're sending anons to both me and OP and vaguing each other in tags?#the thing i was ADAMANTLY AGAINST in the original post?#honestly the anon i got kinda stung. like.#i am constantly exposed to “AO3 should have a dislike button” and “authors shouldn't check bookmarks so readers can leave reviews” discours#basically campaigning for AO3 to be more like goodreads even though we are not published authors#now fic writers get to be told we're not allowed to engage in public civil discussions about how our work is spoken about in fan spaces??#like. damn. we really are content machines to some huh?#like. i know in my heart of hearts people probably weren't vaguing in tags and anoning as a result of my post but#i am so disappointed people were even sending rude anons in the first place?#we don't do that? the main reason i am here in this fandom is because we don't do that?#and today i am genuinely worried we drove someone away because polite and healthy disagreement got mistaken-#-for “omg drama pick a side and send anons!”. um?? no?? this isn't twitter/2014 tumblr? not here? not our fandom?#ugh. idk. i don't want us to become one of those fandoms people are warned against is all#if i reblog a post in the future disagreeing with it (though that's unlikely now!!!!!) please be nice?#i just. today someone said some of us were engaging in 2013 era fandom wank and.#yes. that's absolutely what happened. i have nothing to dispute that#some of those anons could have been sent during superwholock times and i wouldn't know the difference. come on guys#own post
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my brain can fit so many bad ideas inside of it
#past few months like a whisper on the wind i hear “rewrite learn to live...”#i hear “u were 18 and high w a fever from the flu for like 90% of the chapters. u can do better now”#“its so rough and unpolished even for othet fics from that era. you could make it better now”#and the angel on my shoulder is like. no. we are not doing that. its on an orphaned account#and despite all my self-critique of it PEOPLE LIKED IT its my 2nd most popular fic ever#there are two dogs inside of me one is viciously chewing at a poisonous stick and the other is trying to pry the stick out of the others maw#theres sooooo much wrong w the fic tho like every time i read it im like. bro. what the fuck was i on#the flu is the answer lmao i was home from HIGH SCHOOL w a high fever for like a week#and during that time i wrote a majority of learn to live... and like the sequel and side stories arent so bad#but learn to live im like. bro. bro. what the fuck#anyways. rambling. LMAO#if you dont know learn to live thats probably for the fuckin best its got a ROUGH start#i am appalled every time i read it LMAO girl whyd you do that (me to 18 year old me)
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[personal and vaguely unnecessary whining underneath, just a bunch of undigisted and personal thoughts about my problems with Creation and Art that mostly just concern myself, but here they are anyway woooo!!!!]
feeling some kind of way about having to concede my artistic calling truly is in fanwork, but, yeah. all of my creative energy really tends towards fanwork, and like. not even the popular kind really, but the long, cerebral, pretentious kind of fanwork that is impossibly costly to produce yet comes with an inherently very limited audience at the end of the road. but every time I try to do something else, something "original", I get frustrated and I feel like I have nothing to say, or that what I have to say isn't really worth saying/that I'm only kind of doing this out of fear of being perceived as illegitimate rather than because of actual passion. I have original ideas, but I don't even really like most of them. it's weird, to have your inner creative fire being so intricately connected to something you will never have legal control over, something you can't really show off/take actual pride in, and something that is, by and large, decried as a waste of talent or time or proper artistic merit.
but yeah, it's the shape of my brain. it's what it is. I'm just not sure how to connect this reality to the rest of my creative/career frustrations. weird place to be, don't love that my brain chose to be like this honestly.
#thoughts#personal#I have spent my entire youth being criticized because of my enthusiasm for fanwork instead of proper creation you could gain accolades for#granted I shouldn't have gotten that kind of pressure before I was even age 10#but#yeah I know having a brain made for original work doesnt automatically mean you gain recognition and respect#but fanwork is just. not the way to go.#there's a ton of people I know who have a latent condescencion towards me because I write fanwork#in a given style that is pretty hard to parse through#I indeed do refuse to prioritize digestibility and clarity#but I do that in fandom instead of in lit fic!!! because I'm stupid!! my brain is dumb!!!#but yeah I don't know what to tell you all my best and most audacious work is fanwork#it is what it is and I don't think it will change#and I don't think fanwork is shameful or should be considered lesser#why should it be???#it holds the potential of sitting at the crossroad of deep-cut critique + admiration and love + creative experimentation#in a medium that is deeply entranched within our current era of media consumption and therefore I would argue is inherent commentary#also I wrote for IPs for work and what I did there was much dumber than what I might have written on my own#anyway weird thoughts and weird question marks for my future as the industry is slowly falling apart around me#might delete later but I just. mood post. feeling weird.#deflated professionnally and endlessly energized outside of that even though both are two sides of the same kind of work#a mood for weird and uncertain times I guess
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Skipping an update for tomorrow bc I had a super long day- zucker got sucked into a gelatinous cube, etc etc, you get it
#personal#also someone left the most mildly critical critique on the fox#which like absolutely no hate to them#it was so well thought out and well written and it made sense!!#but my ego is a fragile fragile thing esp since I’ve never written a real thing like this before Hsdgs#so I’m giving myself a day to like#recover LOL#it wasn’t even negative they said they loved the fic they just had a note#and I’m bein a huuuuuge baby abt it#wah wah etc etc#anyways#next update on weds :)
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I may not be very comfortable with explicit fic, but I still wish that I had the skill to write BLT Burgers' first time. T_T
#or the money to hire someone else lol#Notes by Nikki#it's very odd:#I have to be in a very specific mood for smut#and even then there HAS to be feelings/plot#for me to enjoy it#I was rereading my series to get inspiration for Poly Week#and I was like ''I should write their first time!''#especially since I already reference it in other stories#but my one (completed) attempt at smut#will never see the light of day#it's from Pacific Rim#and it's Wing!Fic newmann from an AU#that I helped create#but I'm just sooo uncomfortable with even reading it again#(it's mostly cringe and self-depredation)#and I even got a friend to critique it#Bob's Burgers#BB#BLT Burgers#Bob/Linda/Teddy#fanfic#fan fic#fanfiction#fan fiction#writing#writers#authors#literature#I even tried turning off the critique comments
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#waking up getting a comment from the fanfic author that literally inspired me to write my own dottolone fic is 🥺#i Really need to make and use a twitter to actually interact with people ^^;#that or i just fucking block my mom from following my current#not that she even USES twitter anymore#decisions i guess#miscellaneous#i also need to actually work on the fic again...........im also behind on the MG one#aaaaaaaa#today i think is a good candidate. i have critique group and am then chilling#if anything i'll do fic grammar editing. that's just straight forward#*claps hands* okay work
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