#even if their cultivation paths are different

[afsosville]

You know what would've been nice? Shen Jiu ending up on a different peak that's actually good for him. Maybe Qian Cao, or the beast taming peak could've been hella therapeutic. Or the alcohol/brewery peak to drown away all his sorrows. But what if he stayed fucked up, in a way that's actually good and productive for society? Yeah, I wanna toss him over to Yin Hui and let him run wild! I've seen many iterations of Yin Hui, the fanon peak for espionage and poisons in fanfics. By extension, Yin Hui is also covertly the assassination peak, and I wish this peak got more attention around here tbh. Why do I think this peak is the most well suited for Shen Jiu? BECAUSE ASSASSINS. Duh.

So here comes a baby demonic cultivator Shen Jiu and the Yin Hui peak lord immediately wants him. Shen Jiu would be more readily accepted by his peak martial siblings, and no one would bat an eye at Shen Jiu, his standoffish personality or shady past. A lot of Yin Hui disciples are from questionable backgrounds since the Yin Hui peak lord naturally has to be very particular about selecting their disciples. Yin Hui was established to protect the sect and its people by any means necessary. Sure, the rest of the sect may fight against the supernatural, demons, and the undead, but Yin Hui fights an even greater monster: people.

The Yin Hui peak lord manipulated things so that the first impression the rest of the sect has about Shen Jiu is 'that new badass Yin Hui disciple that killed the criminal Wu Yanzi and saved the future sect leader!' (Seeing as Wu Yanzi would be the very sort of ppl they assassinate, he's already getting goated on Yin Hui too.) So Shen Jiu is known as that new prodigious disciple from Yin Hui and is getting some goddamn respect! And just because of his association with his peak, fewer people are inclined to question his background and whatnot since there's an understanding that the identity of the YH disciples needs to be heavily guarded. The Yin Hui peak lord finds out about the Qiu's soon enough, and they erase any and all traces leading back to Shen Jiu. Even framing it in a way that makes it look like WY did the massacre. Any credibility Qiu Haitang could've had for Shen Jiu's murder accusations is thrown out the window. (Ain’t no way in hell the Yin Hui peak lord is going to name SJ that stupid trauma inducing name like a certain Qing Jing peak lord, that's for sure.)

I'm pulling in elements from MDZS over here. In my version of Yin Hui, they have disciples who practice demonic cultivation, but they make sure it's in a safer way that won't hurt them. There's a surprising number of disciples who have damaged cultivation and chose to cultivate the ghost path. The previous generations of Yin Hui peak lords have created Wei Wuxian's inventions in this AU, and is used by the rest of the peak, like the compass of ill winds, paper metamorphosis, the spirit attraction flag, and empathy. I lowkey want a Wei Wuxian that's native to SV to be the Yin Hui peak lord, now that I think about it. He's good with his kiddos and would be an awesome shizun. And ofc, Shen Jiu is a reflection of his environment, so he's certainly making an example out of Wei Wuxian, one of the only positive influences in his life.

Shen Jiu still has his violent tendencies, so nothing has changed about that, but he learns to take that pent-up energy out on missions instead. And he does them well. It even gives him an edge. Everyone else thinks he's just reallyyy good at his job, as expected of the talented head disciple of Yin Hui!!

He really does try his best to not be an ass (bc he gets the love he deserves on Yin Hui) and ends up venting in a different way (coz he knows better than to take it out on people who don’t deserve it.) His shizun really gave him the free reign to kill sl@ve trad3rs, human tr@ffick3rs, r-ists, and other scum whenever he wanted, in the name of stress relief lol. If killing a particular person becomes politically complicated, like the Old Palace Bastard, then you best believe he's going to scheme like the little schemer he is. He's going to Nie Huaisang the OPM.

Since Shen Jiu is not salty about his fucked up cultivation, and his martial siblings respect him, they get along just fine. His cultivation is some parts similar to Wei Wuxian's: Shen Jiu is a ghost cultivator influenced by music. Sure, he may not be that great of a spiritual cultivator, so what? He's pulling up like the Yiling Patriarch with his demonic cultivation and a haunted guqin of his own.

And guess what? Shen Jiu enjoys teaching. He's training miniature assassins, spies, and the art of demonic cultivation, so forgive him if he's more than a little enthusiastic about it. I imagine that he's exactly like Shifu from kung fu panda when it comes to teaching. Still extremely harsh and strict when training, but outside of actually teaching, he's an attentive and caring shizun. And yes, he completely does act like a father figure who is proud of his murder babies, and ends up being called A-Ba so much that all of Cang Qiong thinks he's officially adopted every single one of his disciples. (After being saved by SJ on a mission, NYY persistently begs SJ to take her in even though he desperately thinks Yin Hui isn't a good fit for her. And then, after being under him for a while, she's completed her first mission successfully, has smn else's blood on her face, and is smiling brightly. 

Ning Yingying: "I completed my mission shizun! Are you proud of me?"

Shen Jiu: "..."

Some other peaklord: "Haha like father like daughter! She's definitely your girl alright!"

Shen Jiu: "...!?!" )

Yue Qingyuan is conerneth about his Xiao Jiu, but as long as he's happy, who cares. Shen Jiu has a better relationship with the other peak lords, so when asked about why he visits brothels, he straight up tells them that it's the best place to gather information in the dark. He doesn't have that mentality of "why explain myself when no ones finna believe me anyway" He actually trusts them and is more honest with time. Shen Jiu does come clean about killing the Qiu's at some point, and the peak lords are all like-

"I didn't hear shit"

"See, I'm blind in my left eye, and 75% blind in my right-"

"Completely understandable, Shen shidi!"

They don't even ask why he did it and just assume he had a valid reason, and he absolutely fucking did.

Oh, Shen Jiu gets accused of playing dirty? Liu Qingge, he literally kills ppl and makes poison as a daytime fucking job ofc he's gonna play dirty! Shen Jiu tried killing you that one time on the well mission? Bro you good? The fact that you think he tried to kill you and failed?? You just insulted an entire peak of disciples and their ancestors. You would've been dead before you could even think of sensing their killing intent if it were true. And there was a witness too, doofus. Be fucking for real. Nahh coz there definitely would be more people who are taking Shen Jiu's side whenever the two of them fight.

Shen Jiu uses a shit ton of versatile weapons because most of his fighting and cultivation prowess comes from his wits and adapting to fighting with different styles/methods. He is kinda similar to Xie Lian bc both of them lack spiritual energy/qi (damaged spirit roots in Shen Jiu's case), but that does not mean they are weaker. It just means they learned to train their body and minds instead of relying on cultivation/qi. He has a massive arsenal of weapons along with the demonic cultivation.

Yin Hui has got to be my favorite fanon peak, and Yin Hui! Shen Jiu plauges so many of my waking thoughts, I can't stop-

I can add elements from my other hyperfixation into this AU, the Avatar Chronicles. Which are the written books from ATLA. The criminal organization Kyoshi joined, the Daofei, for example, could be a good plot point. Or the Platinum Affair from the Yangchen books. If you don’t know what the Avatar Chronicles are, just ignore this last part lol.

[mccromy]

Mu Qing is currently listening to a backlog of prayers one of his deputy officials tossed aside as unimportant, just in case Xie Lian prayed to him these past few centuries and he missed it. Until now, all of them are asinine, but he keeps going, though he's starting to zone out until he hears a child's voice:

"Xuan Zhen, Shixiong said I can ask you stuff. I want tea eggs for dinner."

Mu Qing blinks. It's not the first time a child asks him for something inane, but this prayer came from a very prestigious temple, only visited by serious cultivators, so it's odd. Perhaps the boy snook in, and it's unlikely he'll hear him again since it's likely he was caught after this.

Mu Qing keeps listening,

"Xuan Zhen, kill Jian Yu."

Ah.

So he wasn't caught.

"Xuan Zhen, where's Shixiong, he said he'd be back by now."

"Xuan Zhen, why is Jian Yu so ugly?"

Mu Qing is quickly losing his patience, how come nobody has caught the child yet?

Then he hears a young man's voice.

"O' General Xuan Zhen, the strongest of the Southern Generals, can you kill this brat? Can you make him explode? Who's ugly, huh? Please."

Then, the child's voice again

"Xuan Zhen, steal Jian Yu's teeth."

"O' General Xuan Zhen, the worthiest of the Southern Generals, this believer begs you to yeet this brat into a volcano, pretty please and thanks."

"Xuan Zhen why does Shixiong smell so good? Can you make us change rooms so I share with him."

"O' General Xuan Zhen, the wisest of the Southern Generals, that little shit took a piss on my shoes. Please, please can you make the bitch that birthed him come pick him up and take him AWAY. Thanks."

"Xuan Zhen, I want Shixiong to stop being angry at me for pissing on Jian Yu's shoes. Also, kill Jian Yu. Also, can you make it so Shixiong has more time to spar with me?"

"O' General Xuan Zhen, the ONLY God of the South as far as I'm concerned, you know? Fuck that other guy, what was his name? Dickneral? Haha. ANYWAYS. Can you just kill this kid? Kill him a little? Nobody has to know, please just make him LEAVE."

"Xuan Zhen, for my birthday I want a Shixiong Hug, and a nice belt that matches my Shixiong's. And That Shixiong keeps being angry forever at Jian Yu for burning my blankets! And that Jian Yu eats shit and dies."

Mu Qing is about to lose it. He cannot be wasting his time with this.

Then a new voice, another young man, prays calmly:

"General Xuan Zhen, this one apologizes my Shidis keep shouting their prayers out loud in your temples, I've taken care of it, please don't strike them dead. I'll light ten incense sticks in your honor, thank you."

Then, the prayers coming from that temple change to the usual stream of begging for protection and guidance cultivating.

[black-lake]

The path of warriors 

⚡︎ Aries, leo, capricorn, scorpio and aquarius north node.

🏇🏇🏇

The north node is your karmic path in this lifetime, and as many charts I study and analyze, people with these signs always fascinate me the most with their life stories. These people tend to have the most dramatic journeys I noticed. They all share things in common, persevering alone, beating all odds, relying on themselves, and setting a good example for others. On that note, how have YOU been?? I hope life hasn't been testing you too badly? The day you'll be crowned will come, so hold on love  👑✨👸 I won’t be hyping you up in a sweet way I’ll be shouting at you so don’t mind my aries mercury.

People with these north node signs have to embody the spirit of the warrior, the fighter, the advocate, the trail blazer, the protector, they have no other choice. They persevere through unfathomable hardships. Many of them break generational patterns, needing to forge new ways rather than repeating the old. They remind me of the dragon, the lion, the tiger, the serpent, the owl, the eagle, all the spirit animals that are strong and powerful. This is a check in with you, an acknowledgment for your spirit, and a loving pat in the back from your leo north node friend. 🌞💛

Aries north node.

Rulers - south node: venus, north node: mars

How does it feel like having to fight and defend yourself since you were a child? Being attacked, played with, tested and teased by those around you, even adults coming at you? Being underestimated for your fighting ability and being put in the middle of a battle, unwillingly, even though all you really want is peace and harmony. You found it hard to stand on your own two feet, asserting dominance means conflict. You think you'll find peace but you're put in another battle. I’d be surprised if you haven’t had to fight physically at least once in your life. GET your ass up and STAND up for yourself, loudly, yes make a fuss. Let your voice be heard even if it disrupts the energy in the room. The universe claps for you when you beat their ass and hide the bible if god watching 💥🐯 (kendrick got an aries north node). Never let a bunch of cowards disrespect you, you're up to the challenge. The ways you move in life don’t have to be understood, you're forging new paths. Those who follow crowds lack your strong mindset, lack your vision and bravery. Move with integrity, and remember the truth always prevails at the end. 

With each battle you win, you're cultivating independence, a strong identity, self respect, autonomy over your life and a sense of direction. You are your greatest project and your most significant accomplishment. You've learned to rely on yourself, becoming an initiator, an entrepreneur, an advocate for justice, and a truth teller. Don't wait for people to join you to start, or compromise your needs and goals for others, you can do it solo. Free yourself from your libra ways of people pleasing and seeking social validation. Pick your battles, understand the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness, and discern what is truly worth fighting for. You're the one who stands up against bullies and liars. You're one of the warriors that the universe uses for justice.

Trust your ideas and instincts, you got all the answers. The universe fights with you and protects you, you're never totally alone. Mistakes teach us lessons, don’t fear them. You're a natural leader, your passion for life is unmatched. You're distinctive, what represents you can’t be duplicated. When life throws obstacles your way, it's to strengthen your fierce confidence, self assurance and independent spirit. 🐅 When you bravely told the truth, when you went your own way, when you created your own thing, when you walked alone, when you took those risks and said fuck what they say, you inspired many people, you awakened many, you left many in awe of your fiery spirit. 

Leo north node.

Rulers - south node: saturn and uranus, north node: sun

How does it feel like to be robbed of your childhood? Being left alone and abandoned as a child? Not receive validation or love? Having your confidence and light targeted and attacked from a young age? Your most beautiful qualities discarded and taken for granted. Your innocence betrayed, your trust and integrity repeatedly broken. Being envied and hated for simply being yourself, for your aura, for shining brightly without lifting a finger. Being alienated, having groups attack you for your unique qualities. Standing confidently alone and walking it all alone. You LEAD, you don't follow, and that can just mean leading your own life. Do you still want to give to others instead of yourself? You can appreciate humanity and inclusivity but release the excessive concern over it. You expose fake groups and encourage authenticity. Princess Diana did everything she wasn’t supposed to do and shined bright doing it, her kindness was golden and her strength was a threat, so they could only attack her (she was a leo north node). Honor yourself, you were blessed by the sun. ☀️💫

You lead from the heart and you're guided by your inner child. Loving yourself and embracing every part of you is for the brave. Leave that group mindset behind, those that just want to fit in are cowards, fuck what the group thinks. Your love, loyalty, strength and generosity are gifts to the world. Don't try to hide your heart, or fall into your aquarius south node ways of turning into an ice queen, isolating yourself and building this artificial heart on top of your real heart, for the greater good or for a bigger cause, or for protecting yourself. Just don’t give to people and places that don't value you. You're learning to bravely STAND up for yourself even if many are against you. You're naturally protected when you are accepting of yourself, and building your self esteem in a genuine way that is based on deep values and not societal expectations.

Heal and free your inner child, don't let the outside noise steal your joy, let yourself play and explore. You'll meet the sun at the end no matter how dark it gets. All those obstacles were meant to make you stronger, develop this inner strength of a lion, this fiery confidence and assurance that isn’t shaken by the outside world. ☄️🦁 That’s who you’re meant to be my love. You're meant to put yourself first at all times, to love, validate and compliment yourself. You’re here to shine in your authenticity. You inspire more people than you know, your spirit won’t go unnoticed, your purity of heart always leaves a mark in this world. Your light is infectious.

Capricorn north node.

Rulers - south node: moon, north node: saturn

How does it feel like being introduced to the harsh realities of the world since a young age? Having to parent yourself without enough support? Being underestimated as a child, restricted, and made to feel inadequate? Being shamed for your sensitivity and emotions. Being placed in the most troubled family with difficult circumstances and told to create a legacy? like hello? universe?? am I a joke to you? Being expected to take responsibility for something or someone. Having pressure constantly put onto you. You become the hardest worker, and then still being messed with? Like oops there’s no reward, do it again. Why are you surprised, you’re saturn’s puppet. The truth is the universe got your back. Reminds of me of Eminem (he’s a cap north node), see how he beat all odds and became one of the greatest? a role model both in his field and as a father. You show people that nothing is impossible. Those lessons become your greatest gifts that guide you to build a stronger and unshakable foundation. Break free from that shell you're used to, you EXPAND beyond that. You're here to be self made, rags to riches. 🎖️✨

Recognize the invaluable qualities you got, the talents, the unmatched energy, the patience, ambition, determination, the caring heart and courageous spirit. Give that respect to yourself FIRST, respect your core values and be proud of what made you. Saturn wants nothing but mastery, it’s your soul that craves mastery this lifetime. 🪐💫 You're learning to build your own safety, at home and in the world, and create your own rules. Let go of your cancer south node tendencies of clinging to the past, repeating mistakes because of childish insecurities or your need to be needed and respected by others. Nurture and provide for yourself by stepping into the world as a self sufficient, disciplined, and goal oriented adult.

Realize that all those difficult experiences happen to help you let go of the past, to build a stable and balanced emotional world. One thing for sure, nothing can stop you, setbacks and failure only fuel your motivation and life force. Rest assured you are promised the respect you yearn for, the success, stability and comfort you dreamed of. You’re one of the most resilient people, unforgettable. Your life story sparks a drive in others to chase their dreams, it inspires more people than you know. The generation will never be the same after you. When you get tired, you can slow down, but remember that everything you need is within you, never doubt that.

Scorpio north node.

Rulers - south node: venus, north node: mars and pluto

How does it feel like having to endure major losses? Having things constantly crashing down before you? Having to fight addictions, destructions and oppositions from everywhere? Not getting a hold of any sense of stability. Feeling like what you chase is escaping you. Experiencing betrayals and having people bring you down, waiting to see you fall. Being the one to blame and villinize when their shadows are triggered. Having no choice but to fight back and learn to survive. Your truth seeking and curious nature triggers many. You go to extreme lengths to find out the truth and seek justice. Your path being ruled by pluto, it removes that which is obsolete, unneeded, no matter how hard you hold into it. You have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. Your path involves confronting your own shadow self. Survival and regeneration allow you to discover and become fully aware of your true power, limitless potential, and divine nature. “Unstoppable” by sia (she's a scorpio north node) narrates well this story of resilience. You're an alchemist of self, a transmuter of energy, a fighter in all realms. 🐉🔥

This restless mind of yours and psychic abilities you develop aren’t for nothing, they're gifts to help you surrender and trust the universe, the one thing you can't seem to do. You are the butterfly, always cocooning, always emerging. Your life path is a series of metamorphosis. Like a butterfly you're turned into liquid, dissolved, before you choose to spread your wings and fly. 🦋✨ The universe is teaching you that nothing is constant, everything changes, and our innate value as a soul doesn’t. Let go of the illusion of stability. You can choose to flow with the transformative waves instead of fighting them. It's okay to trust and rely on others too, accept it as a gift from the universe. Break free from your taurus south node ways of being too attached to material possessions. Putting too much value on material and physical pleasures won't help you evolve.

Embrace the spiritual side of our human experience, that’s what generates and creates the physical. The painful challenges you faced were meant to shift your values, for you to see and use your power for good. You have the potential to break generational curses and the responsibility to choose wisely between doing better or worse. You can become a great source of inspiration and comfort for others. Whenever I feel like giving up I literally look up a scorpio north node person. Just know that you can save lives. People confide in you, they share their deepest secrets and traumas and you inspire them to keep going because you understand that even the most terrible events will pass and bring about growth and beautiful rewards.

Aquarius north node.

Rulers - south node: sun, north node: saturn and uranus

How does it feel like being the different and outcast child? Growing up in a chaotic and unpredictable environment? Experiencing discrimination or being looked down at. Having situations and people try to humble you. Having your ideas, beliefs and findings rejected and misinterpreted. You're literally vibrating on a different frequency. You might be surrounded by a community or be totally alone, regardless, having a different mission can leave you feeling alienated. You've got an independent mind, you're an innovator, bringing all that's new and futuristic to the world. 🛸✨ You show people different ways of thinking and doing things, breaking and setting trends. Your desire to be a social activist, a scientist and a humanitarian helps us progress. Being ruled by uranus, expect the unexpected, all sorts of twists and turns, don’t be too attached or take things personally and react from your ego. When you embrace your uniqueness, not try to fit in, and do things for the greater good not for validation, you align with your mission. You're a voice for others and that's a responsibility not to take lightly. 

While staying true to yourself, broaden your vision beyond what only affects you, recognize that we're all interconnected. You must learn to share the spotlight and celebrate all others. Let go of your old leo tendencies of extravagance, self importance and self serving behavior, they’ll only pull you backwards. We progress together and you are a catalyst for evolution. You have a deep connection to the earth and the universe, honoring your place within it. You're perplexed by those bums that lack decency and humanity and carelessly harm this earth. Sza, one of my fav artists today got an aquarius north node, and she embodies it well. If you're familiar with her story, you'll know she comes from a different and diverse background, her music style is distinctive, her interests are weird or unexpected, and her humanity and empathy make her relatable and admirable.

Your mission is so important my love, no one can do it but you. Your ability to see solutions beyond conventional teachings are gifts to the world. You recognize that everyone is unique, you celebrate their differences, and encourage individuality in others. People like you are the ones that awaken this world from outdated ideologies and conditionings. It's why this is one of my fav north nodes, it drives us forward by seeking freedom and authenticity, rather than conforming. You are a radiant shining star that holds much needed hope for everyone. 🌬️⭐️

[bfpnola]

IMAGE DESCRIPTION ADDED. REBLOG THIS VERSION AND THANK YOU @lab-labrava FOR WRITING IT!

ID: An infographic from the Instagram account @letstalkpalestine consisting of 10 slides. Image 1: The title page of the infographic. The text says: "Let's talk Anti-Zionist Jewish History." A smaller subtitle underneath the title says: "Jewish solidarity with Palestine until today." End ID.

Image 2: The infographic continues to the next panel. The text says, "As long as Zionism has existed, so has Jewish resistance to it. While today the majority of Jewish people and communities worldwide still have a Zionist connection, more and more Jewish people, especially from the younger generation, are unlearning Zionism & speaking out. Swipe to learn more about just part of anti-Zionist Jewish history - since there's more than we can fit in 10 slides." A semi-transparent image is overlayed in the background, of someone holding up a sign that reads: Jews for Palestine! #Free Sheik Jarrah. End ID.

Image 3: Icon of a location tag next to the words Eastern Europe. In large, blue text is the word "The Bund" and the subtitle describing what it is, "A Jewish Socialist movement, established in 1987." The following paragraph says, "Opposing Zionism from the start, its 50-year tenure saw hundred of thousands of members across Eastern Europe advocate for workers' rights and cultivate a Yiddish culture." Location tag and the title, "North America." The paragraph says, "After mass immigration to the US in the early 20th century, [American Jewish Labor groups] (highlighted in chalky blue and bold white text) criticized Zionism for its colonial, nationalist, and bourgeois nature." Next to this text, is a circle with women protestors holding up signs. End ID.

Image 4: The title, "Middle East and North Africa." The paragraph states, "In 1945 a group of Iraqi Jews founded the Anti-Zionist League. They recognized Zionism as a form of colonialism linked to Western Interests. They hosted events and published pamphlets throughout the Middle East about the difference between Zionism & Judaism. They warned that Zionism is dangerous to Arab Jews, forcing them to split their Arab and Jewish identities, and urged the UN to create a unified Palestinian state.

Image 5: The panel is titled, "Anti-Zionist Jewish figures." A faded image of Hannah Arendt's visage is in the background. Overlayed on top, the following paragraphs discuss her. "Before 1948, several prominent Jewish leaders and scholars came out in opposition to political Zionism. Writers like Hannah Arendt turned against the Zionist movement and opposed a Jewish state. They correctly predicted a dark future if Zionism continued on the same path in Palestine. End ID.

Image 6: The day after the Deir Yassin Massacre in 1948, when Zionist militants wiped out the Deir Yassin village & its inhabitants, Albert Einstein wrote: "When a real and final catastrophe should befall us in Palestine the first responsible for it would be the British and the second responsible for it the Terrorist organizations built up from our own ranks. I am not willing to see anybody associated with those misled and criminal people." The former paragraphs are imposed against a tan, parchment fragment, in typewriter font, and the letter ends with Sincerely yourn, Albert Einstein, both his signature and typed name. End ID.

Image 7: Titled "Anti Zionism Today." Blue sketchy image of someone's hand gripping jail bars breaks up the following paragraphs which say: Jewish solidarity with Palestinians is growing around the world, including even some Israelis who take the basic step of refusing Israeli military service. As punishment, Israel imprisons these conscientious objectors — but unlike Palestininas, they have a fair trial & often severe relatively short sentences of a few months . This is a first step towards solidarity and has the real consequence of depriving the occupation state of its soldiers. End ID.

Image 8: Titled "Israel's Crackdown on Jewish Anti-Zionism" Behind this text are a picture of handcuffs. In the corner is a picture of Jonathan Pollak. The following text says: Jonathan Pollak is a Jewish Israeli and long-time anti-Zionist activist. Israel has detained him several times, most recetly in January as he protested with Palestinians in Beita, (a Palestinian village) for allegedly throwing stones. Jonathan has been violently attacked for his activism. In 2018, Jonathan was slashed across the face by settlers who ambushed him outside his workplace. Earlier, in 2005, Israeli soldiers shot a tear gas canister. directly at him, causing internal bleeding in his brain." End ID.

Image 9: Semi-transparent image of an umbrella behind the title text is "Jewish Anti-Zionism isn’t one ideology. It’s an umbrella movement that encapsulates multiple communities and beliefs towards decolonizing Palestine. Some motivations or Jewish anti-Zionism include: 1. Pursuing millenia of Jewish tradition as a diasporic community 2, Detachibng religious and cultural tradition from political nationalism. 3. Socialist visions of a Jewish Society. 4. Believing in the right to self-determination for Palestinians Standing up to Zionism is: 1. Standing up to apartheid and colonization. 2. Standing up for a liberated, equal, and just Palestine from the river to the sea.

Image 10: An ending quote, and call to action, by the Anti-Zionist League. It says: "Jewish Men! Jewish Women! Zionism wants to throw us into a dangerous & hopeless adventure. Zionism contributes to making Palestine uninhabitable. Zionism wants to isolate us from the Egyptian people. Zionism is the enemy of the Jewish people. Down with Zionism! Long live the brotherhood of Jews and Arabs!" --The Anti-Zionist League. End ID.

[lancabbage]

Where did the whole "WWX did not regret giving up his golden core" theory from?

He did.

Truthfully, he wasn’t unaffected. Could a person so easily resign themselves to such a loss?

Of course not. It was impossible.

WWX reflecting upon giving up his golden core.

But whenever he found himself tossing and turning in the dead of night, unable to sleep and plagued by thoughts of how he’d never again follow the orthodox path to the mountain’s peak, never again display the astounding swordplay that made people’s jaws drop…he would turn his thoughts around with a simple fact.

If it had not been for Jiang Fengmian bringing him to Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian might never have crossed paths with the cultivation world. He would never have been conscious of such a mystical and magnificent realm. He’d merely have been the leader of some homeless street urchins who roamed the streets and fled at the sight of dogs—or perhaps herded cattle and stole vegetables in the countryside, playing his flute and living one day at a time. He’d have had no way of cultivating, let alone a chance to form a golden core.

He did, and that's alright. He's only human! People seem to think he gave his golden core up because "he loved his brother" and "he's just a kind idiot". Nope. WWX is kind, but he's not stupid and he definitely didn't give JC his core because of affection.

So he treated it as a repayment of his debt, or an atonement for his sins. Treated it as if he had never obtained that golden core to begin with.

After bringing himself around so many times this way, he was almost able to actually feel as wild and carefree as he acted on the surface. He could even half-jokingly praise himself for the state of acceptance he had reached, while he was at it.

He gave him his golden core because he felt like he had to. He had been told, time and time again this was all his fault (by JC and YZY) and the last thing both YZY and JFM said to WWX, although worded differently and said in complete opposite tones, was a reminder that WWX "owed" the Jiangs everything and should look after JC no matter the cost.

This is what drove him to give JC his core, debt. Honour bound to repay the Jiangs. And as the above clearly shows us, WWX really struggled with that. Struggled with the fact he felt he had to pay them all back (when he never actually did, but we won't go into that here...) and trying to convince himself the golden core he worked so hard for wasn't even his to begin with.

It wasn't an easy decision to make for WWX. He's not some self-sacrificing idiot like some make him out to be. It's absolutely heartbreaking and I think this is all so often overlooked.

[esoteric-oracle]

Y'all, friendly reminder that Wei Wuxian was not actually a demonic cultivator. I honestly found it shocking how prevalent the misconception that he uses demonic cultivation is, and how casually people throw the term around. His title as “Mo Dao Zu Shi” is intentionally misleading, as Wei Wuxian himself states many times in the novel that he does guidao  - the Ghost path.

This fact is probably more obvious to those who've read more xianxia novels (especially for Chinese readers, whom MDZS was geared towards), where demonic cultivation is a pretty common trope. Classically, “demonic cultivation” involves actual demonic actions, (ie. eating another cultivator’s golden core) - and MXTX deliberately used a subversion of that trope. Demonic cultivation in MDZS would require demons - something heavily lampshaded when Lan Qiren asks Wei Wuxian the difference between yao, mo, gui, and guai in the Cloud Recesses Study Arc. MXTX literally spoonfed the difference between demonic and ghost cultivation to readers in this scene, but I still see people perpetuating the belief that he was an actual demonic cultivator.

Demons come from living humans, so in the context of MDZS, the only true demonic cultivator we saw was Xue Yang, who use living corpses. Wei Wuxian only ever used the dead and resentful ghosts to do his bidding. The title of MDZS is a deliberate misnomer meant to act as commentary on how easily wrongful rumours and slanders spread, especially given how many criticisms tossed Wei Wuxian's way weren't even accurate - and somehow, 95% of readers fell for the same trap.

It's even worse how the official 7Seas translation perpetuates this misconception, by using "demonic" and modao to refer to Wei Wuxian's cultivation when he explicitly refers to his cultivation as guidao in the ExR translations and original text.

[in-sufficientdata]

ID: Bluesky post by Ro Salarian (@RoSalarian.bsky.social):

I often wonder if abusive people are drawn to the arts, or if a certain amount of notoriety just makes people turn to shit. I am involved in a lot of different art scenes, and every single one has a whisper network about some big names who nobody feels they can address directly.

Kelly Barnhill (@KellyBarnhill.bsky.social) quotes this on July 10, 2024 at 6:47pm EST and responds:

Sexual predation is clearly not limited to the arts, and so-called "whisper networks" exist in every profession. And ultimately these networks always, always fail. They don't reach the most vulnerable and they don't ever remove the offender or prevent future harm. end ID.

At the source, the thread continues:

When I was growing up, I had a friend whose house had a bad stair - a nail sticking up on one side, and on the other side if you stepped wrong, the whole tread could flip up and send you flying backwards. We had to be told to avoid that stair. It was dangerous. We couldn't forget.

The trouble was, it looked like every other stair. Sometimes we did get hurt. This went on for years. Finally, one of the other parents in the neighborhood was like THE CHILDREN ARE GETTING INJURED and the whole "rule" of avoidance, of letting people know, was thrown out. They fixed the stair.

Now, this was dumb, of course. Who just has a stair that looks like every other stair but is boobytrapped in this bonkers way? Well, lots of people, as it turned out. And this wasn't so bad, as injuries go - a skinned knee or the occasional puncture wound.

Imagine if they had a stair that was, say, secretly filled with bees. Or poisoned. Or a one-way portal to one of the various realms of Hell. And it was there, like any other stair, looking benign. Maybe it was even fancied up - attracted the eye and tickled the fancy. A rock star stair. Well.

It's problematic, is my point. Leaving a danger in plain view is problematic. Simply relying on a network of people warning people and washing our hands of the whole affair is problematic. And worse, it abdicates responsibility. This is not how grown-ups should behave.

Part of the problem stems from the Myth of Male Genius - organizations twist themselves in knots to protect their access to whatever Male Genius they've tied their careers to, be they philosophers or physicists, conductors or or inventors, teachers or hotshot attorneys. We've all experienced this.

And while it's [notallmen] or [notonlymen] or whatever tagline you want to throw at me - yes, I know, and yes, I agree, and yes I'm certain that toxic and predatory women exist and have also harmed but I honestly can't think of any at the moment - it all stems from a central problematic fallacy:

Here's a toxic fallacy that I'd like to see dismantled: that genius is rare. That it must be protected at all costs. That it must be allowed to misbehave because the misbehavior is tied to genius in some fundamental way that none of us can understand because we are not geniuses. WRONG.

For every "rockstar author" or "rockstar artist" or "rockstar scientist" or "rockstar academic" there are a thousand others who are just as talented, just as transformative, just as consequential. And by ascribing godlike abilities to those who are more ordinary than we'd like to admit, we allow the person on that pedestal to become unglued from consequence and unhooked from the ties that are supposed to bind us to one another. This is a moral injury and an injury of empathy as well. So it's bad for the "rockstar". And holy hell is it bad for every person they injure. And worse, what about the "genius" of the victims? What about the dreams deferred and the paths upended because the world they've entered has decided to make itself unacceptably dangerous, unacceptably callous. A busted stair in the middle of the ascent in some young woman's career, left for no reason.

Here's what I know: genius isn't godlike or magical or even that rare. Genius is cultivated, nurtured, supported, delighted in. It happens in the context of a myriad of tiny boosts, too numerous to count and too subtle to name. It is as common as breath, and just as precious.

The reason why predatory men are lauded, protected, demurred to, is because we've told a story to ourselves that their genius is special, and have allowed ourselves to believe that the only way to become special ourselves is to bathe in its light, regardless of consequence.

Let's be done with that story. Cultivate more lights. Be the light.

And also? Let's fix that fucking stair, shall we?

[mxtxfanatic]

Bing-ge and Victim's Entitlement as Portrayed by MXTX

I was thinking about Bing-ge’s journey as an abuse victim into an abuser and how much the creation of Bing-mei is a critique on both the writing trope that creates Bing-ge as well as the societal expectations that drive it.

In the world of PIDW, one of Shen Yuan’s main critiques was about how terribly the young Luo Binghe is treated by the narrative, so much so that he views it as torture porn. From being abandoned as a baby, to being abused as a servant and watching his adoptive mother wither from sickness and die, to finding his way to Cang Qiong Mountain and suffering under a cruel shizun who then pushes him into hell, Shen Yuan finds all this unnecessarily cruel. However, Shang Qinghua knows that the trauma Luo Binghe suffers directly correlates to the enjoyment readers are meant to get out of the second half of the protagonist’s life when he becomes overpowered and primed for vengeance. Shen Yuan knows this, too, as this is the trope he girds himself with as Shen Qingqiu to work up the nerve to push his disciple into the Endless Abyss, to “earn” his happiness. However, is this a true happiness? Does the trauma justify any and all of Luo Binghe’s actions?

On the surface, Bing-ge seems happy! He is able to enact revenge on Shen Jiu—and demolish Cang Qiong Mountain Sect who acted as accomplices to his abuse—and was given narrative access to any and every woman of marriageable age who crossed his path. He is even able to destroy his world by merging the three realms with no consequences to himself. Bing-ge has seemingly reaped the twisted “reward” that having survived unconscionable abuse and abandonment from the time of his birth had sown for him, and PIDW readers were able to enjoy and defend Bing-ge’s later megalomaniacal actions directly because they had read through hundreds of pages of his ill-treatment beforehand. The worse Luo Binghe’s childhood was, the more they were willing to accept of his actions in adulthood. We see a similar thing take place in the SVSSS fandom: the reveal of Shen Jiu’s past as a child slave is used to justify his later abuse of his child disciples—children who had no hand in his trauma but who he has decided to bear the brunt of it, anyways. But Shen Jiu lived a very unfulfilling adulthood due to his unwarranted actions until his untimely death. Is Luo Binghe any different?

Enter Bing-mei: the revised protagonist who abandons revenge in pursuit of experiencing genuine affection from the only person who gave it unconditionally. No, Bing-mei doesn’t get all the girls or all the power. He does not become the emperor of all three realms and he is not an uncontested leader that all conscious beings bow to. In fact, he is very tame and controlled in comparison to his PIDW counterpart despite not having complete control of his sword that amplifies his negative emotions. But when Bing-ge slips into the world of SVSSS and discovers that, despite all of this, Bing-mei has an intact world, platonic relationships, and a shizun who loves him, he’s willing to throw it all away to experience that same life. Bing-ge is revealed to be the unhappy, unfulfilled one, because the one thing he wanted—genuine unconditional love—was the one thing that he cannot earn or forcibly take. No amount of audience hype can change the fact that Bing-ge must leave behind the happy Bingqiu couple to return to his destroyed world in his unsatisfying reality.

This isn’t just a theme in SVSSS, either; it’s present in all of MXTX’s works in how people—both characters and the irl fandom—react to antagonists and asshole characters who have experienced trauma. In mdzs: a female cultivator tries to say that Jin Ling endangering other cultivators should be forgiven “since he’s an orphan.” Jiang Cheng throws his parents’ and sister’s death around to justify being an unrepentant serial killer. Jin Guangyao cries about how much his father hates him compared to the legitimate Jin heirs that he murdered. In tgcf: Qi Rong escapes discipline at every turn because his mother had to escape with him from his abusive father, and Mu Qing’s transgressions against the marginalized are ignored because “he was poor, once.” All of these characters have their actions whitewashed both in their stories and by their fandoms at large because their defenders believe that their trauma excuses any of their subsequent behavior.

Yet, MXTX does not prescribe to this idea. Notice the pattern of how the above characters end their stories. Jiang Cheng tanks his reputation and loses the respect of his only living relative. Jin Guangyao and Qi Rong die. But Jin Ling experiences setback after setback until he adjusts his behavior, and Mu Qing had to earnestly apologize under harrowing circumstances to be forgiven. It is not characters who seek justice for being harmed who are punished in these novels but those who persevere in their entitlement to do whatever they want because they were once harmed, thereby eventually destroy any goodwill others, particularly their loved ones, had towards them. The characters who are able to contain their actions to aim only at those who wronged them or else honestly reflect on their sense of entitlement in order to change for the better become well-liked by their peers. And as for Bing-ge: his inability to change within the narrative of PIDW may have “earned” him all the material things his world could offer and the affections of an unseen audience, besides, but he misses out on true human connection and love. These are the things he can never forcibly take, because in real life, no amount of trauma would entitle him—or anyone—to those things.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I sometimes see the opinion that MXTX took the clichéd tropes she'd critiqued in Scum Villain, and played them straight in MDZS. But though a lot of them appear in MDZS, I'd argue that none are actually played straight at all!

The main point of MDZS's tropes is subversion. Yes, WWX has a 'tragic backstory', even an arguably overused one (orphaned by his parents at a young age, forced to live on the streets with nobody to rely on, etc) – but how things differ in how it's used. Tragic backstories are normally used to build sympathy for a character, to make us care and get invested in them. But... we're never actually shown any of those street days, we're never shown and never dwell upon how much he suffered during them. They're only really mentioned in passing and whenever dogs come up! If the goal was to make us feel bad for WWX, this would be very ineffective writing. But what's actually important here isn't that WWX went through tragedies – it's how he doesn't let the tragedies he went through define him. He doesn't dwell on them, the narrative doesn't dwell on them, it's never used to earn sympathy points... because what defines WWX is his choices and how he chooses to act, not a backstory completely out of his control. What gets us invested in him is his personality and the character writing of MXTX, not tragic events used as a substitute for identity.

And this trope treatment fits extremely well with WWX's personality itself – he's someone who 'forgets the pain as soon as the wound has healed'*, but also who actively chooses to focus on the present because you can't change the past; someone who holds the belief that 'gains and losses [should] remain uncommented on' when choosing what to do.

The use of the tragic backstory isn't the only thing that's subverted, either – the other main thing is the 'blackening' of the protagonist, and its impact on the protagonist's fall. After being thrown into the Burial Mounds, on a surface level it does seem like this blackening has occurred: the first thing we see when he returns is his gruesome torture of the Wen cultivators; he's 'forsaken' traditional cultivation in favour of an 'evil but more powerful' path; and frankly, Sunshot-era WWX is terrifying. But MDZS is not a blackening story, and so the events of the Burial Mounds aren't used as a catalyst for that purpose. Though it's true that WWX's not entirely the same person he was before (because how could be be?), underneath it all, his morals, worldview and core** stay the same. Though gruesome, his revenge is directed towards the ones who wronged him, not those past that and certainly not the entire world. His experience in the Burial Mounds doesn't lead to him being some evil, blackened overlord... like everyone says he is at the start! That's subverted, because again, WWX's values and choices are more important to the story than genre conventions.

But the most crucial thing? What leads to WWX's downfall isn't any blackening! It isn't any vengeance or morally dubious actions***– he was praised for those things during the Sunshot Campaign! No, what leads to his downfall is something completely unrelated to that, something which would've disappeared had the trope been played straight. It's him doing what's right by defending the Wens, it's him following his moral code when it opposes the world's, it's him standing up to the injustice of others – not others standing up to the injustice of him. That's the subversion here.

(Also, once again, the fall of Lotus Pier, the Burial Mound, etc, aren't used for sympathy points – and if it was relevant, they wouldn't have been used to excuse any actions, either. Using tragic events as an excuse for doing bad things is critiqued many times in MDZS, through characters like Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao. And that's not exactly a trope subversion, but it is a critique of badly handled 'excuses'.)

These are by no means all the tropes MDZS subverts – the nature of guidao vs the usual nature of modao being another very major one – but they're the main ones that feature in Scum Villain.

So, though at first glance MDZS seems to play the tropes MXTX critiqued there straighter, it's not a simple case of using them as cliches, and we see that by how they're used to impact the narrative, and how that differs from what they're traditionally used for. MDZS doesn't fall back into clichés Scum Villain satirised – it's the subversion to Scum Villain's exploration and critique.

--

*Which I know is generally used negatively, to describe someone not learning a lesson from a punishment, but it really describes WWX in general, too. He doesn't dwell on that pain, he does his best to move on from it.

**...heh

***And, because it's often debated – whatever the morality/culpability of Nightless City is doesn't even matter! The events happened at a pledge conference against him that was already taking place. WWX's actions there didn't make people want to kill him because that was explicitly happening beforehand.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

you know i like my [boys] a little bit older

pairing: reader x leon x chris

cw: smut, 3sum, older men x younger woman, two men kissing (gay sex thursday!!), p in v, oral sex

summary: reader's parents have a little party and invite two old friends from out of town (leon and chris). threesome ensues.

a/n: i should've actually made chris and leon fuck in this for gay sex thursday :( and yeah, this is not beta read and it's sorta proofread, but it's still me writing, so it's a real collage of different stream of consciousness paragraphs imo ... anyway, title comes from 'your love' by the outfield (except a lil change in lyrics)

wc: 3.2k

Your parent’s house is filled with friends, old and new; the crowd spills over into the backyard on this gorgeous summer evening. Your mother and father had both worked for the government, occasionally collaborating with anti-bioterrorism agencies while they lived in D.C. They’d long since moved to a quiet suburb states away, so you hadn’t met their friends, Leon and Chris, but you’d heard countless stories of heroism and shenanigans over the years.

You expect them to be average-looking middle-aged men, but when you open the door to greet them, you have to stop yourself from gawking. Drool would be dripping from your lips if you let your fantasies run wild.

They introduced themselves with firm handshakes. You could drown in Leon’s eyes. You have to scramble for your own name. Luckily, Chris’ voice could coax anything from your mouth. You’d tell him your name, credit card number, and darkest secrets.

You wouldn’t dare confess your thoughts to your mother, who you cross paths with in the kitchen. You inform her of Leon and Chris’ arrival, and the minute she turns to leave, you grab a water bottle from the fridge and start chugging. Your mouth is drier than ever, and you’re sweating already.

You hadn’t planned on mingling with your parents’ friends, but your new guests have piqued your interest. You walk outside and go straight to the cooler to grab some liquid courage. You don’t want to look desperate, so you pretend to be disinterested. Unbeknownst to you, Leon and Chris are talking about you across the yard.

“I called dibs on her first,” Chris reminds Leon when he claims that he should be the one to ask you out.

“Aren’t you too old for ‘calling dibs’?” Leon mocks him.

“If I’m so old, I should get to ask her first.” Chris and Leon bicker for the sake of it. It’s the dynamic they’ve cultivated over the years.

“That makes no sense. That just means you’re going to die first, statistically speaking.” Chris would think it was a dumb thing to say if he wasn’t watching you saunter across the yard to grab a beer from the cooler. You’re wearing shorts that fit are too tight in your mother’s opinion - not in Chris’.

“Not with the way you’ve been drinking.” Chris nods to the beer bottle in Leon’s hand, identical to the one you’re holding.

“Says the man with the cigarette hanging out his mouth.”

Chris blows smoke in Leon’s face. Passing by the two men on your way into the house, you accidentally let a giggle slip.

“Speak of the devil,” Leon says loud enough for you to hear, wafting smoke away with his hand.

Chris turns his head in your direction, gives you a small smile and nods. Leon’s gaze says he’s sifting through his one-liners for a way to pick you up or to take a jab at Chris.

Leon’s flirtatious. He has a boyish charm even though he’s in his forties. Chris is quieter, but it’s not shyness; it’s nonchalance.

Before you know it, the sun is going down. Everyone is preoccupied with their own conversations and no one has noticed that you’re practically sitting on Chris’ lap because there aren’t enough chairs. Tension is rising in the air, and sitting across from you, Leon’s eyes narrow when they look into yours conspiratorially.

“A toast?” Leon holds up his beer.

“To what?” Chris sounds amused, anticipating Leon’s toast.

“To a good time.” It’s simple and innocuous, but mischief sparkles behind his eyes, and what he means is obvious.

“Amen,” you say with a voice so tiny it’s barely audible over the clink sound of glass on glass, but your red cheeks and shy smile convey your feelings better than words can. 

It’s your lucky day when they stay late enough for your mom to ask them if they’d like to sleep over. Not with you, of course; that’s not what she means, and she’d never assume she’d have to specify. Her daughter would never fuck her friends. They’re middle-aged men.

But the house is cramped, so Leon and Chris end up on the basement couch and an air mattress, respectively. Technically, the basement is yours in its entirety, but you have a closed-off section that’s akin to a closet where you keep your bed. Your family has never lived large.

You have to walk past the men to brush your teeth, and you do so in your skimpy pajamas. The ones you bought when you were in high school, and now, so many years later, your ass more than peeks out the bottoms, and your tits threaten to spill out of your tank top.

Leon is more obvious in the way that he watches your tits bounce when you walk without a bra on. Either he’s truly shameless, or he knows you like it because he’s being obvious in his glances. Again, Chris is more subtle, or so you think, because you don’t have eyes in the back of your head and can’t see the way Chris’ eyes are locked onto your hips, the sway of your hips when you walk, the way it makes the fabric ride up and shows more skin. 

You almost walk straight into Leon when you leave the bathroom. His hands catch your biceps, stopping the impending collision. 

“Whoops,” you say with a giggle, “Sorry, I got distracted.”

He’s still holding onto you because he knows you’ll try to skirt around the question if he lets you go. “What’s on your mind that’s got you all distracted?” 

“I’m not gonna say it,” you say.

“C’mon, say it.”

“You already know what I’m thinking.”

“Do I?” he asks, tipping your chin up, so you’ll have to meet his eyes. 

You look up and get on your tiptoes when you see the way he’s looking down at you. You know he wants to kiss you, so you make it easier for him. His hands move to your waist when he leans in to kiss you. It’s hard for you to stand like that without toppling over especially when Leon’s lips make you feel dizzy in the head. Leon picks you up and drops you on the air mattress. All thoughts have left your head by the time Leon is on top of you. 

You snap back to reality when you hear Chris’ voice. He’d be outside having a last cigarette before bed. “Are you two planning on making out all night or can I get in bed?”

“There’s room for three,” you break away from the kiss to offer up the idea, as if it wasn’t already on everyone’s mind.

“Care to share, Leon?” 

Leon shares reluctantly, letting Chris into the bed.

“You smell like beer, Kennedy. I thought you were going to brush your teeth.”

“I got distracted on the way.”

You pat him gently, “Go brush your teeth. I promise we’ll wait for you.”

Leon rolls his eyes and gets up with a dramatic groan. You gesture for Chris to come closer until his face is inches from yours. 

“I thought you wanted to wait,” he whispers, tauntingly.

“I lied. Kiss me?” 

“Normally, I don’t kiss liars, but you’re cute, so you get a pass.”

Chris kisses you, gladly taking Leon’s place. You smile into the kiss, knowing that you’ve already won. They think they have to vie for your attention, but they never did. You always wanted both of them. 

When Leon comes back, he pretends to be surprised that you’d lie to him. Inevitably, Chris has to brush his teeth, too, and when he does, Leon scoops you up so that you end up in his lap. 

“I’m sorry I lied about waiting,” you say, still lying. 

“Sure you are,” he says, unconvinced, sliding his hands under the hem of your tank top. 

“Kiss me?” you ask with a hopeful smile. 

“And what if I don’t?”

“Please,” you whine, and grab Leon’s hands to force them to your tits. You could continue to flirt with him if you had more thoughts left in your head, but all the blood in your brain had been drained, and your body had succumbed to desire. Lust isn’t the most clever interlocutor. 

It’s a good thing that men are used to thinking with their dicks, so you let them take the lead. You’re not sure whether you feel more like a princess or a barbie doll, but it seems like you’re their new favorite toy. Your clothes get torn off like wrapping paper and they move you around like raggedy ann while you just go with the flow. 

You can feel Leon’s breath through the thin fabric of your panties and you’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have to do that. You’re not fully-shaved and you didn’t prepare for this, so you don’t expect either of them to go down on you. You don’t get a word in, though, because Chris’ mouth finds yours and by the time Leon’s tongue is touching your clothed cunt, your mouth is occupied. Chris pulls away to breathe - (Leon has learned how to breathe while eating pussy)- and you moan loudly enough that you get a hand clamped over your mouth. You can’t be trusted not to make noise when your mouth isn’t busy - luckily, Chris and Leon figure out what to do with your mouth. 

It all happens in a whirlwind. There was never any sense in your little charade because the tension had been building since that afternoon, the slow boil of a pot on the stove, one that would inevitably bubble over. You could exchange playful kisses and dry hump each other like horny teenagers, but if you’re a big girl who’s old enough to take two grown men, then you shouldn’t need such hand-holding. Especially when you’re already soaking through your panties. It’d be cruel to tease you. There’s a silent agreement to discard the preamble along with your clothes.

Despite their bickering, they work well as a team when it comes to giving you the best fucking of your life. You knew you were in for a bit of manhandling hard-and-fast fucking, not some sappy sweet love-making. Each of them gave you a unique type of roughness - both equally good. 

Chris’ touch is steadfast with firm, calloused hands. He grips your hips tightly enough to leave marks. It’s not completely intentional, you’re just small and squirmy due to Leon’s touch. 

Leon sinks his teeth into your neck, he nips at your breast and sucks on the nipple until you’re straddling the line between tantalizing pleasure and sharp pain. Something is ablaze inside you, but is it a flickering of warmth or does the fire burn? He blows cold air onto your sensitive skin and when you shiver out a whine, he whispers into your ear, “You look so pretty like this.”

Your body shudders again when Chris’ facial hair grazes your inner thighs and you feel his hot breath fanning over your cunt. One languid passing of his tongue flat against your folds has you writhing. His hands are on your ass now, guiding your hips to his mouth. The way he squeezes your flesh feels like praise - tough love, they call it. 

Leon gets impatient. Watching you unravel has his cock straining against the fabric of his underwear, so he slides them off. His length is within your reach, so you take it in your dainty hand. Leon keeps his hand around yours, guiding you through each stroke even though you don’t need his help to do it. “Good girl,” he says, proud of you for multitasking - jerking him off while holding back moans is no easy task. Chris mumbles something, but it gets lost between your legs. It sounded like an affirmative. 

You take initiative and flick your tongue over the tip of Leon’s cock, which thanks you by releasing a bead of precum onto your tongue. You plan to wrap your lips around him when your orgasm rolls through you like a shockwave. You have to bite your lip to muffle any noises. You end up with your hand clasped to your mouth because the experience is euphoric, best not waste it by getting caught. 

Chris comes up for air once your legs give out, finally releasing him from their hold. His lips are puffy and pink - much like your lips, the ones below the waist - from ravishing you. Instead of wiping your arousal from his mouth, he kisses you, sloppily, so that you can taste yourself. You pull away, your mouths attached by a string of saliva until Chris speaks, “You taste good, huh?”

He’s not really looking for an answer, though. He’s thinking about whether or not to go grab a condom from his wallet. His face keeps composure in a way that his dick doesn't - you can see how hard he is through his sweats. 

“How are you feeling?” Chris asks, trying to ease into the impending conversation about whether or not you want him - or Leon - to fuck you. 

“Amazing,” you say, the post-orgasm pink glow painting your face as evidence. 

“Is that so?” Leon asks, playing coy with you. “Do you mind if I find out for myself how good you’re feeling?”

He doesn’t wait for a reply before tracing your folds with his fingertips. When a whimper escapes you, he dares to dip one digit inside you. 

“Too sensitive,” you protest. 

“Done for the night?” Leon asks. 

“No. Just give me a couple minutes.”

Chris and Leon meet eyes, both with the same grin appearing on their faces, conspiratorial and juvenile, somehow. It’s like young boys who know they’re about to do something that would send their mother into a tizzy if she found out. This whole rendezvous would give your mother - who’s sleeping upstairs, blissfully unaware - a heart attack if she caught the three of you in flagrante delicto. 

Chris goes hunting for condoms in his luggage. 

In the meanwhile, you spend your time doting on Leon, lazily playing with his dick, which looks painfully hard. You don’t want to risk him cumming too soon, so you opt for running your tongue along the shaft, stopping at the head to swirl your tongue around it. Leon’s breath is heavy, and when your hand finds its way to his balls, cradling them gently, his breath hitches. There’s a flash of something akin to panic in his eyes. It’s a paradoxical urgency - he needs to cum, but he needs to last. 

You pull away when you glance at Chris, who finds what he’s looking for tucked into Leon’s suitcase. 

“Did you think this was going to happen?” You ask Leon. 

“No, I just like to be prepared.”

“Whore,” Chris scoffs under his breath. 

“Pissed ‘cause you don’t get laid?” Leon taunts.

“Seems like I’m about to,” Chris says with a smile that’s directed at you. 

Leon and Chris work out the logistics as they go. It starts with Leon’s fingers pumping in and out of you. He curls them and hits your g-spot, making your back arch. Chris is quick - as quick as possible with the circumstances - to put a condom on. The show you’re getting is its own kind of foreplay. You find that the imprint of Chris’ dick, the one his sweatpants teased you with, did not do his size justice. Excitement, coupled with a more anxious anticipation, flowed through you. 

You’re transfixed by the sight. “I don’t think it’s gonna fit,” you say, truly doubting it. Your voice is candy-coated sweet despite the sincerity. 

“We’ll try our best,” Chris says, encouraging Leon to stretch you out a bit more in preparation. 

You end up on your hands and knees with Chris behind you and Leon cock-to-face with you. Chris has one hand kneading your ass while the other is wrapped around his dick, lining it up at your entrance. Leon’s movement is synchronized, except one hand cups your cheek and the other holds his dick, teasing your lips, coaxing you to open.

Your lips part naturally when you feel the stretch of Chris’ initial thrust, slow, steady, inch-by-inch and you moan. Leon shuts you up the best way he knows how. Enthusiastically, you take him as far as you can. Tears prick in your eyes when he nears the back of your throat. 

Once he’s fully inside you, Chris gets into a comfortable rhythm. You try to replicate the cadence with your mouth working on Leon, who’s already beginning to babble. 

“You look so - fuck - perfect like this,” and “It’s like you were made for it,” and “Fuck, you’re doing so - fuck, just like that. 

Leon’s mouthy, won’t shut up until Chris tells him to. “Make me,” Leon says without thinking. He’s running on autopilot anyway. Chris grabs his face and kisses him hard on the lips, and Leon’s a whore, not just for women, so he gets sloppy with his kisses. It’s hair-pulling, tongue-heavy, the kind that leaves your lips raw. 

Chris fucks you harder and Leon’s hands remain on Chris’ face to keep himself from taking you by the ponytail and forcing himself down your throat. You do end up where he wants you - with your nose touching his abdomen. It’s by your own determination, desperate to please him, please them both, please yourself. 

Leon pulls away from Chris and his breath catches in his throat. He runs his fingers through his hair. You know he’s desperate, teetering on edge, and the force of Chris’ hips, the sound of skin slapping against skin, along with the sight of Leon’s self-restraint crumbling, leads you to your peak. The pressure builds rapidly and you are consumed by your climax. 

Chris’ voice is an echo in the background, mirroring your moans - which reverberate through Leon’s body. You hear from behind you, “Oh fuck - you’re so tight, gonna make me cum.” It’s barely a warning before you feel the throbbing of his orgasm, his rhythm faltering. Leon follows close behind. His attempt to warn you is futile. His head tips back and his release fills your mouth in spurts. He has to bite his knuckles to stop the pornographic moan that threatens to escape him. 

The roll of Chris’ hips slows to a stop and he pulls out, discarding the condom in the trashcan while Leon catches his breath. 

He’s still panting when he says, “Sorry, I came without a warning.”

“S’okay. I could tell you were about to, anyway,” you say with a smile that draws Leon’s lips to yours. 

Chris picks you up without a word. 

“Where are we going?” you ask. 

“Bathroom,” he says. 

You cling to him with your tired arms. 

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna drop you.” His voice holds a certain tenderness that you didn’t expect. 

He drops you off and closes the door, giving you privacy. When you return, you’re greeted by both men who have re-dressed themselves, preparing to dress you too. This level of attention makes your cheeks flush. 

“I feel like a princess,” you say as Leon helps you into your pajamas.

“You are,” he says as if he believes it to be unequivocally true. 

Chris carries you to bed and Leon pulls back the covers so you can be properly tucked in. You get a kiss on each cheek and two on the forehead before they leave. 

You ask, somewhat embarrassed if either of them will sleep in your bed with you. Your bed isn’t big enough for three, so they take turns. One of them keeps watch because, knowing that if you’re caught, they’ll never be allowed back, while the other embraces you. 

[rationaliity]

ratio the dissemination | the learned

ratio being the aeon of dissemination. much, much less a romantic plot and much more of an infodump. someone, anyone, i beg of you, please ask me to elaborate on this further

the dissemination was a path open to all who would be willing to listen and learn, and yet only a handful of pathstriders are worthy enough to follow the footsteps of the dissemination directly as emanators. they were an enigmatic being at best, and a silent being at worst, but that did not make them inherently unkind. one would liken their way - his way - of ruling over the path the way rain falls. methodical, constant, ultimately ever present whether one chooses to have an umbrella on hand or not. although their gifts were constant, and their knowledge abundant, they were not known to have any emanators by their side, or at least, not a noteworthy one.

believing fairness above all, ratio the dissemination has forgone giving a single mortal being the ability to draw power from their path. or perhaps, they were just selective to who they gave this blessed curse with, and had not found one that matched their desires to cultivate and spread information around the cosmos. one would have to be intelligent, or at least possess and innate willingness to learn where they lack, and yet hold a deep desire to help humanity. such is not an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination.

geniuses in general were prone to hording their knowledge than to spread it out evenly. as such, the geniuses within nous the erudition's genius society far outweighed the minds of ratio the dissemination's ' the learned ' in sheer numbers alone. but just an uneven scale was not enough to engulf the dissemination's path as a whole. the minds following the dissemination were good, kind people, who often chose to help others learn the right answers to their problems. these beings were intelligent and held humility, something that many within the genius society did not.

several times, the cosmos chose to compare the dissemination to the erudition. after all, they both pertained to knowledge, how could they truly be so different ? but the different stemmed from the recognition of genius from both paths. ratio would cast their gaze to anyone who was willing to learn and to spread their wisdom, whereas nous only looked at those willing to study, to test, and ultimately, to horde.

the difference even lay within the aeon itself. nous was a supercomputer, only able to make calculated predictions within the variables that it knew. having a horde of knowledge meant that their understanding of the cosmos at large was at stake. if they did not know, they could not predict. they could not think. ratio, on the other hand, took on a more animal-like appearance. the body of a large, twisting marble snake, with the large expanse of six owl wings, three on each side. they did not need to horde knowledge, they were able to spread their wings upon anyone who dared to ask " why ? "

at least, this was the appearance that people commonly associated with the dissemination. you, a faithful pathstrider of the dissemination, one of the learned, however, knew of a different appearance.

you had finished giving a particularly harsh lecture one day, your heart wary but your mind racing with ideas. your mind never stopped, it always continued forward, unending. you would ponder everything, and your introspection lead you to the same conclusion every single time you thought about it : there were no downsides to helping further humanity. and so you taught, vehemently, with your everything. lecture after lecture, book after book, you never gave up on your mission.

this day, however, you were tired. wariness had caught up to you, and you were slumped over in your desk, your head in your hands as you tried to focus on grading your student's tests. you really couldn't stop racing towards this goal, and yet your mind unable to reach any fulfilling answers. was this all for nothing ? how likely was it that you could teach everyone ? surely your kindness would be exploited, surely the ipc would get their hands on the dissemination's learned, as they did the erudition's intelligentsia guild ?

was the path of the dissemination even worth following, if all it did was lead you down a never ending spiral ?

" raise your head, " a man's voice jolted you out of your thoughts. you jolted up, surprised, looking up at him with creased eyebrows. your office door was locked. how did he get in ? " you will be fine. "

the man had wavy iridescent purple hair, that almost looked like it could be blue, too, if the light hit it right, and sharp red-gold eyes, taking in your every reaction. his clothes were just a simple blue and white robe over a black vest and blue slacks, and he had a muscular build, towering over you as you sat down. and in his hair, the laurel, a symbol of the dissemination. those who followed the path often wore it, or something similar, to distinguish between their few numbers. was he a member of the learned as well ?

" i- " you started, finding yourself at a loss for words for a moment. " have no idea what you are talking about, my apologies. how- how did you get in ? are you looking for me ? " " looking for you ? yes, i suppose so, " he replied, ignoring your other question, perhaps on purpose. and perhaps it was best that you didn't know, you thought. " please, call me dr. ratio. " " doct- huh ? " confused, you stammered a little bit, unsure what he was getting at. but he didn't take the time to answer any of the questions you may had, his mouth working faster than your brain.

" i would like to teach you, personally, " dr. ratio explained, not being a man of many words, crossing his arms as he looked at you with a discerning eye, his gaze seemingly tearing you apart, revealing your intricacies and stitching you back up together again. " if you will willing to be under my tutelage, of course. "

the dissemination did not have any emanators so far, and he did not have a human appearance, as far as the records went. but you knew. you knew the truth. you knew a different being than ratio the dissemination.

you knew doctor veritas ratio, the scholar with a temper. and you learned under his wings.

[sun-and-moon-mushroom]

(MDZS/SVSSS crossover, inspired by a typo)

Jiang Yanli dies — and then she wakes up again. At first she thinks it’s just simple reincarnation (although it’s annoying that she seems to have been born as a boy this time) but as she grows older, she starts to realise that the world she’s in is very different to the one she lived in during her past life. In this world, cultivation is different, golden cores are harder to form but immortality is easier. It’s also a world filled with strange plants and monsters like nothing she’s ever heard of before, one of which she eventually uses to change her body into a more comfortable form.

In her past life Jiang Yanli was never much of a cultivator, but with the differences between her old world and her new one… she still isn’t great at it, but compared to before it’s a big improvement. Her parents want to send her off to a cultivation sect, but she decides to make her own path instead — one that gets her branded as a criminal pretty quickly, even though she only kills those who deserve it. Maybe it’s guilt from her past life, feeling like she could have done more, maybe it’s because she finally has the power to make a difference, but she won’t stand by when she sees injustice — especially since slavery seems to be legal in this world she’s been reborn into.

This is, of course, how she comes across a boy who reminds her a great deal of both her younger brothers — what else was she meant to do? Some minor arson later, Shen Jiu has his first cultivation master — Wu Yanli.

[nocturniashifter]

𝓐dvice for your Shifting Journey | Pick a Pile

Hello, my angels! After a long time without posting any PAP, here I am. This time it will be advice for your shifting journey and I will be using Lenormand for the first time on a pap as I am new to it, so I really hope you like it! ♡

┈─★ Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken seriously or used as a substitute for legitimate advice. It's also a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you. ┈─★ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that catches your attention the most, trust your intuition.

── .✦ PILE 1

Cards: Moon, Mountain, Sun, Crossroad & Man ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮ 𝅄 ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮

Hello, pile one! You have already gone through several ups and downs along your journey and due to having faced difficult moments such as “failed” attempts or due to the fact that you have been trying for years, you ended up getting discouraged and some of you may have even stopped trying or felt like giving up halfway through. But, if you want to finally shift, you need to get your head up and do something about it because you will achieve it if you don't keep standing still and doing nothing.

Things may be difficult for you on your journey right now, but know that you will be able to get through this difficult period if you take the first step. The cards ask you to maintain a positive mindset because you will be successful on your journey – and when I talk about maintaining a positive mindset, it doesn't mean that you should get carried away by toxic positivity. On the contrary, throughout your journey you will encounter obstacles that may end up affecting you emotionally and the last thing you should do is repress your feelings and pretend that everything is fine as if negative emotions and feelings are going to stop you from shifting. Spoiler: that doesn't happen. So, when you come across a rock in your path that lets you down, don't repress your feelings but rather allow yourself to feel and express what you are feeling, take the time you need to process them and then let them go & continue your journey with your head held high.

At this moment, you need to decide which path you will take on your journey and you must leave behind the baggage of the past with all those things that no longer serve you, such as the limiting beliefs that you have cultivated in yourself. Stop for a moment and reflect on all the beliefs, good or bad, that you believe to be true about yourself or about shifting. Do you believe that you are capable of shifting and that you are already a master shifter: yes or no? Depending on your answer, you will already know where to start changing your mindset to one that will favor you and bear good fruit.

When you're working on your mindset/self-concept change, don't backtrack because it will only slow you down. It's like Neville Goddard said, you can't serve two masters at the same time – that is, you can't be in two states of being at the same time. Either you are or you are not. Either you are a master shifter who has shifted millions of times effortlessly or you are the person who regrets that they never managed to shift. In fact, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from shifting other than yourself and you may already be tired of hearing this, but it is the purest truth. You are your only limit.

── .✦ PILE 2

Cards: Lily, Scythe, Rider, Stork & Mice ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮ 𝅄 ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮

Hello, pile two! You are a person who has been in the shifting community for a long time (some have been there for months and others for years) and who over time has tried many different ways of shifting such as methods, meditations, subliminals and many others. And because you've been on this journey for a long time, you've become comfortable with the way things were or are at the moment. Too comfortable. There are two cases here: the first is that you ended up having many “failed attempts” that demotivated you and you ended up conforming to the false idea that you can't shift and the second case is that you ended up falling into your comfort zone and decided not to have new experiences on your journey – that is, you just do the same thing over and over again even if they aren’t working like they used to and don’t try new things.

Regardless of your case, at this moment you are stagnant and it is time to put an end to it if you want to move forward once and for all and free yourself from this period of stagnation because it is only holding you back. You need to stop for a moment and reflect on everything you've experienced on your journey so far, so you'll be able to identify the limiting beliefs you've placed on yourself that give you the false idea that there's something stopping you from shifting. Furthermore, you will be able to identify what worked for you and what is no longer working so that you can make space for this new phase in your journey. And by doing this, you will be able to change the direction things are going and you will be able to start over towards success.

I also see that you feel envious of other shifters who have already managed to shift, whether before you who have been in the community for a long time or even those who shifted more easily than you – and I don't blame you for that, but you must understand that if they can do it, YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT TOO! What makes you different from them? What makes you so special that you are the only person in the multiverse who is incapable of shifting to the reality you want when you have always done this your entire life without even realizing it?!

You need to be kinder to yourself, take care of yourself and stop comparing your journey to other people's journeys because we are all different and what works for one person won't necessarily work for you and that's okay, you just need to do what works best for you because it's your journey so you have every right to navigate it however you want. It is necessary that you cut once and for all everything that is no longer serving you on your journey and as soon as you do, a new chapter in your journey will begin.

── .✦ PILE 3

Cards: Bear, Stork, Tower, Mountain & Rider ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮ 𝅄 ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮

Hello, pile three! You have great power – especially because, at the end of the day, we are all the gods of our reality – and you may be tired of hearing that. But although you are aware of this, you do not actually recognize your own power. You don't really believe that you are really powerful, that you can shift realities whenever you want without anything stopping you and you don't trust your own potential, much less your abilities to change. Many of you even put your desired realities on a pedestal as if it were something unattainable or very difficult to achieve and that requires a lot of effort - but if you stop to think about it, it doesn't make any sense because there is nothing to try to achieve when you were always in your DR even before you discovered shifting.

Because of this, it is past time for you to start seeing yourselves as the powerful people you are and finally recognize your own power so that things can finally change once and for all. If you want things to change on your journey, YOU need to change first because you are in complete control of your journey and if you don't change, nothing will change. You need to go through a period of self-reflection, that is, set aside a moment in your day to reflect on your journey – on everything that has worked for you and what hasn't.

But most importantly, you need to change your self-concept about being a master shifter. If you assume you can't shift, you're right and the same goes if you assume you've already shifted and are a master shifter. Many shifters and manifesting people believe that when they assume a new state of being, they shift to a reality where this assumption is true. So if you assume you are a master shifter, you have just shifted into a reality where you are one and vice versa. That's how the law works, so do yourself a favor and use it for your own benefit and not to make things harder for yourself.

At this moment, things may be challenging on your journey or it will be challenging for you to change your self-concept - mainly because you will feel stuck in the old version of yourself (i.e. when you were the person who couldn't shift and are becoming one who has already shifted) while working to change your mindset but just keep persisting, that is, being the person who is already a master shifter without seeking validation in 3D because it's the 3D that needs your validation. But, regardless of what your case is, you will be able to overcome this and all your effort will be worth it in the end because you will have finally managed to achieve your goal!

© nocturniashifter – don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | dividers

[one-flower-one-sword]

"You came from a renowned school, an orthodox sect that never traversed the deviant path. Growing up in that sect, you were always told that ascending was the ultimate thing to strive for," Jun Wu continued. "It is very difficult to give up that sort of goal. Falling in with the Ghost Realm was an unfortunate circumstance, an act born of helplessness. Of course you cannot say you are satisfied with your position in the Ghost Realm. It was never what you wanted in the first place."

Yin Yu didn't have enough confidence to deny it. He said weakly, "Chengzhu has shown me grace. He saved me -"

"I know," Jun Wu said. "He even helped you pacify and send off Jian Yu's vengeful spirit after he died during your banishment, am I correct?"

"...Yes," Yin Yu confirmed. "So whether or not I am satisfied with my current position, it's all -"

"That is dissatisfaction," Jun Wu noted. "You are bound by his grace and have nowhere else to go. You are in denial." Yin Yu hung his head and didn't reply.

Vol 7, page 144-145

One of my favorite relationships throughout the novel, even though we get so little information about it, is Yin Yu and Hua Cheng's. Even the above tidbit is mired by the way Jun Wu is trying to manipulate Yin Yu's emotions and how Yin Yu at times responds genuinely and at others plays along to try and find a way to escape.

Once I had finished the novel, I was left wondering why there are so many fandom jokes about Yin Yu being exploited by Hua Cheng when the text seemed to paint a much different picture of what Yin Yu's life and work environment as a god was like versus as the highest ranking ghost city officer. So in this meta I try to examine and compare the two as well as try to draw conclusions about how Yin Yu felt about it all and why.

First of, I think that Yin Yu's longing to return to becoming a god is genuine, since this is what he says after he stops playing along with Jun Wu's manipulation because he's by then gotten enough spiritual energy to attack him:

"I do want to return to the heavens, I do want to be ranked in the top ten!" Yin Yu continued. "But it's completely meaningless if I don't do it on my own! I'm unlucky, I accept that! Admitting that I can't compare isn't that hard!" Vol 7 page 152

Which is interesting, considering this is what he felt like when he was still a god in heaven while Quan Yizhen hadn't yet ascended:

A good while later, [Quan Yizhen] said bluntly, "I don't like it here."

Yin Yu said nothing.

"They think I'm annoying, but I think they're even more annoying," Quan Yizhen continued. "Before, I could train at least sixteen hours a day. Now half the time is taken up by talking and listening to nonsense, by greeting and visiting people. There are people who yell at me and hit me for no good reason, without apologizing, and I can't even fight back. This isn't heaven. I don't like it here."

Yin Yu sighed. "I don't like it here either."

"Then let's go back," Quan Yizhen said.

But Yin Yu only shook his head, "Even though I don't like it here, I want to stay."

Quan Yizhen couldn't understand. "Why do want to stay if you don't like it here?"

Yin Yu was stumped, and chuckled in spite of himself. He didn't know what to say, unable to explain it to him. How could he convey to Quan Yizhen that reaching the Heavenly Capital was the dream of so many people who sought the path of cultivation, the ultimate end goal? Or just how difficult it was for someone his age to achieve ascension?

Vol 5, page 271-272

Yin Yu essentially seemed to be struggling with sunk cost fallacy, where he put his everything into ascending to heaven and so wants to stay there even though it's making him increasingly unhappy. It's interesting that Jun Wu accuses him of being in denial about his unhappiness in the Ghost Realm, when Yin Yu in the past seemed to be in denial about his unhappiness in heaven. Especially since this is what he was being treated like as soon as his power and influence were in decline:

Yin Yu and Jian Yu were seated next to the "Earth Master." Their assigned seats were considered the edge of the banquet. Yin Yu wasn't eating or talking to anyone. [...]

At the other end of the banquet, there was already a large crowd of heavenly officials fighting to greet Quan Yizhen. The surrounding crowd had completely blocked the person at the center from sight. It appeared that this was soon after Quan Yizhen ascended and established his own palace. He was at the height of his popularity in heaven, in contrast to how he was disliked by most of the present court. Although the two were both Martial Gods of the West, he was significantly more prominent than Yin Yu. The attendees all swarmed over, leaving the table where Yin Yu sat quiet and empty.

Vol 5, page 273-275

I've talked about this in my Yin Yu & Quan Yizhen meta as well, how Yin Yu tries to get by in heaven by conforming and submitting to the elitist power structures it's based on:

Quan Yizhen kept going. "They cussed at me first. I don't even know them. They said I was a low-ranking heavenly official and yelled at me for no reason, then they laughed at me and told me to scram and not to block their way [...]" "Are low-ranking heavenly officials below other people?" Quan Yizhen asked.

"No," Yin Yu replied. Was that true? It was obvious he didn't believe his own words, and Quan Yizhen noticed.

Vol 5, page 271

and how it starts to chip away at the kindness and the moral backbone he showed while still in his sect:

"Shidi, the things you're all saying aren't right." The crowd was taken aback. "I'm going to say something unpleasant," Yin Yu continued. "No matter what path we cultivate, talent truly is an incredible thing. And he is not only talented, he is willing to work hard. If you really think Shifu is playing favorites, then let's work harder to keep up with him - maybe even overtake him. And then things like training halls and supplements will naturally be open to everyone. Rather than wasting time being angry at him, your priority should be training harder. Am I right?" [...]

"You really don't need to mind them. You didn't do anything wrong. It's fine like this." Anyone with clear eyes could see that the other disciples couldn't stand Quan Yizhen. They found fault everywhere, and it wasn't because of his big appetite, or because he wasn't a morning person, or because he was inconsiderate and a poor teammate who only cared about showing off. At the end of the day, what they really couldn't stand was this: he was the last to enter the school, but he received the most. Quan Yizhen nodded. "I think so too." Yin Yu patted his shoulder. "Go train! That's what's most important. Don't think about anything unnecessary." [...]

After watching the two scenarios, Xie Lian praised Yin Yu. "San Lang, that subordinate of yours really is a rare character. What a good heart."

Vol 5, page 262 + 264

Everything Yin Yu and Quan Yizhen already struggled with in their sect - the jealousy, the bullying, the competition for resources - is even worse in heaven, which actively encourages the endless competition for devotees and subordinates as well as the exploitation and mistreatment of those of "lower rank". No matter how hard Yin Yu tries to conform to these structures, they steadily wear away at both the way others see him and also how he sees himself:

After closing the gates, Yin Yu's voice grew louder. "Don't say any more! I don't want to hear it! It's very normal for an ascended heavenly official to establish a palace, so he didn't do anything wrong. Since you get irritated just talking about him, why must you constantly bring him up?" "Please don't think that I'm speaking out of turn, but someone must remind you. Yin Yu, the west is only so big, and there are only so many devotees. He's already taken so much. That wolf yao kill should've been yours, but he stole it! Look at the state of you now - your domain's shrinking smaller and smaller. How much do you have left? Can you maintain your standing if this keeps up?" "How is what he's done theft? It's not like he's forcing anyone to worship him at knifepoint - everyone's willing. Besides, that wolf yao..." Yin Yu sighed and said frankly, "I couldn't have defeated it. It was useless praying to me, so of course they went to him." "I just... I'm worried that if this fight continues, he'll win and leave us with nothing," Jian Yu said bitterly. "Fuck, even those lower-ranking officials only care about their own advancement - each one of them coming up with empty excuses to quit and slipping away to serve under other heavenly officials. What a bunch of no-good asshats!" Yin Yu sighed again and sat down on a prayer cushion. "What fight are you talking about...? Why care for such things? Those who want to leave will always leave in the end, and those who want to stay will naturally remain. I didn't ascend to fight for power with anyone, nor squabble over domains, nor quarrel, so why can't you let this go?" Vol 5, page 277

This is a stark contrast not only to the kind of standing he had while he was still in his sect:

Yin Yu pushed them away, urging them to leave. He sighed. "You said yourself that he's insane, so why bother with him?" It was easy to see that Yin Yu's words held weight with his peers at this point in his life. Although the crowd was still upset, they left as told. Vol 5, page 257

But especially to the kind of authority and respect that his position in Ghost City offers him:

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the ghost crowd. They immediately parted, forming a path, as if someone of importance had arrived. Xie Lian came to his senses and saw a tall, black-clad figure walking straight toward him through the path created by the mob. That person yelled, "Settle down. Let him go!" The black-clad figure, like most of the ghosts on the street, wore a mask. It was a funny mask, with a face that was contorted as if it was smiling woefully. The mob muttered under their breath, "It's the Waning Moon Officer!", and they released their hold on Xie Lian at last. It seemed this black-clad figure was someone significant in Ghost City. Vol 2, page 99

It's also worth mentioning at this point that I think people forget that Yin Yu does not always necessarily work alone and has to do everything by himself but that he has his own subordinates:

After taking a moment to contact his subordinates in Ghost City, Yin Yu meticulously reported the general directions of each sighting.

Vol 7, page 48

Another very important thing to take away from the argument between Jian Yu and Yin Yu is that while still a god in the heavens, Yin Yu had no confidence that he'd be able to fight a wolf yao, yet in the amnesiac extra, he shows no signs of hesitancy or fear when Hua Cheng orders him to go after the monster that stole Xie Lian's memories:

He was still trying to process what he'd learned when he heard San Lang say, "I need to attend to him right now and can't leave. Catch that monster before tomorrow night and bring it to me." "Yes, sir. Shall I leave it one last breath?" the man in the ghost mask asked quietly. San Lang put down his brush and glanced at what he'd written, which he then crumbled up and tossed away, apparently unsatisfied. "Leave it a few. Make it spit out what it swallowed, then crush its worthless head to dust. Make it slow and painful." His tone and expression were both quite frightening, yet Xie Lian didn't find him repulsive or alarming. The man in the ghost mask acknowledged San Lang’s order and was about to take his leave, so Xie Lian quickly dodged away and hid. Vol 8, page 226-227

Which leads me to another important point - the amount of trust Hua Cheng shows Yin Yu by the kind of missions he sends him on. If he didn't have a high opinion of Yin Yu's abilities, he would never send him after something like a monster that had eaten Xie Lian's memories, given how incredibly important Xie Lian's wellbeing is to Hua Cheng. There's many other examples too - like how Hua Cheng trusted Yin Yu to help with tricking Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian into saving "Ming Yi", or how he entrusted the Earth Master Shovel to him. But Hua Cheng also does not ask the impossible of him - when they're all trapped in heaven and Yin Yu started to dig tunnels with the Earth Master Shovel to try and free Xie Lian and the others so they could recover and become strong enough to escape, Hua Cheng cautions them against it because he correctly deduces that "you'll be seeking your own deaths if you try to break out under Jun Wu's watch." (Vol 7, page 130) Even though Yin Yu is with Xie Lian, Hua Cheng doesn't expect him to get Xie Lian out on his own, because he knows how powerful and ruthless Jun Wu is.

For extra emphasis, let's compare Hua Cheng’s regard for Yin Yu and his abilities to the way Jun Wu never even deemed to speak to Yin Yu while he was a god because he was so very much "beneath" him:

"My dear Yin Yu, I do not think I have ever chatted with you like this before. Isn't that right?"

"I guess not..." Yin Yu replied cautiously.

Even back when he was the martial god who ruled the west, his base of believers wasn't strong, his merits were few, and his rank wasn't impressive. He wasn't the lowest ranked of the heavenly officials in the Upper Court, but he was still below average, so he'd had almost no opportunities to interact with the Heavenly Emperor - the highest of the high.

Vol 7, page 142-143

Keeping all of that in mind, it's very interesting that Jun Wu tries to tempt Yin Yu to his side by offering him the position of his right-hand man:

Finally, Yin Yu asked, "In the Upper Court, I... What... would my position be?"

"Ling Wen will be my left hand, and you shall be my right," Jun Wu said. "There will be none above you besides me."

Vol 7, page 149

When that really is a position Yin Yu already holds - he's Hua Cheng's right-hand man. Now, one could argue that Yin Yu does have less power and prestige in the position of a ghost realm officer than he would have as a god - there's no believers worshipping him - but I think the point is that he doesn't answer to anyone but Hua Cheng, that there's no one else competing with him for that position, no one else among his subordinates that Hua Cheng puts this much trust in, and that there's no one else besides Hua Cheng himself who is demonstrated to hold so much authority and respect in Ghost City. And with all of the above, it's really important to keep in mind that Ghost City is the one single autonomous place in all the three realms and that its Chengzhu is the one single being whose power and influence is rivaled only by the Heavenly Emperor himself.

And said Heavenly Emperor damn well knows Yin Yu is Hua Cheng's right-hand man, which is I believe a big part of the reason he tries to flip Yin Yu by dangling this exact position in front of him. As I've talked about before in other posts, Jun Wu hates Hua Cheng deeply for various reasons. There's the whole thing where Hua Cheng is the unmistakable proof of a believer that never leaves their god, the very thing Jun Wu felt entitled to but didn't receive. But in this case I think him wanting to tempt Yin Yu away from Hua Cheng's side is about how bitter and salty Jun Wu feels about the fact that Hua Cheng holds more sway over all three realms than he does - evidenced by the way Hua Cheng doesn't just have followers in the Ghost Realm but the Human Realm as well, and even the gods, while they fear him, also can't help but admire him and strike deals with him in secret (Vol 1, page 157-160). That Yin Yu, a banished god, would (just like Xie Lian) rather be loyal to Hua Cheng than Jun Wu - that must have angered him a lot because it's something he'd take quite personally.

This is, I think, also the root of why Yin Yu has so much trouble seeing his position in the Ghost Realm for what it really is and why he still longs to be a god despite how unhappy he was in the heavens and how badly he was treated there - he can't see past the prejudices about the Ghost Realm in general and Ghost City in particular that he has internalized. Prejudices that Jun Wu actively weaponizes every time he speaks to Yin Yu, by repeatedly insinuating that being a ghost city officer is a shameful thing to be:

"Surely you do not actually like being a mere pawn in the Ghost Realm?" [...] "Falling in with the Ghost Realm was an unfortunate circumstance, an act borne of helplessness." [...] "You are bound by his grace and have nowhere else to go." [...]

Vol 7, page 144

Which makes it all the more satisfying when Yin Yu tricks Jun Wu (or attempts to, at least) and ultimately rejects both his offer and his authority, and also calls Jun Wu out on the way he tried to manipulate him:

"My Lord... My... No, not My Lord! You! Why must you keep reminding me of that?! Why do you speak like you actually understand me?!"

Vol 7, page 151

Jun Wu is deeply enraged by his defiance and rejection - in general, but also because it reminds him of Xie Lian's defiance against him:

Jun Wu turned around with a casual sweep of his hand. "Exhilarating. You and Xianle must get along well."

Vol 7, page 152

This brings me to my final point - which is that choosing kindness and righteousness even in the face of criticism and rejection, of personal loss and suffering, is what Jun Wu hates the most, and what ties Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu, and Yin Yu and Hua Cheng together. Hua Cheng was drawn to Xie Lian because Xie Lian chose to treat him kindly when everyone else abused and rejected Hua Cheng and pressured Xie Lian to do the same. Similiar things can be said for Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu, since Yin Yu was the one to ask his sect's shifu to take Quan Yizhen in when he came across him as a seemingly abandoned child, and who repeatedly defended Quan Yizhen from the other sect members' judgement and bullying, even though this earned Yin Yu their ire as well. Yin Yu, too, values kindness very highly:

Yin Yu sobbed. "If I wasn't destined to be perfect, I at least wanted to be perfectly kind. But... I couldn't even manage that." (Vol 7, page 156)

Therefore, though we get very little information on their first meeting, I think kindness is also what drew Yin Yu to Hua Cheng, what made him stay loyal to him even when tempted/threatened by Jun Wu, and what made him go right back to working for him after the events of the main story. Because while we get only this one mention, I think a great deal can be gleaned from it:

"Chengzhu has shown me grace. He saved me - "

"I know" Jun Wu said. "He even helped you pacify and send off Jian Yu's vengeful spirit when he died during your banishment, am I correct?"

Vol 7, page 144

It's not just he helped me, it's he saved me. And not only that, Hua Cheng, in a sense, saved Jian Yu as well by helping him move on, which I would assume was simply because Yin Yu wished for his friend to let go of his resentment and not become stuck as a vengeful spirit. What I think is really important to keep in mind here is that not only was Hua Cheng under no obligation to save Yin Yu, he had, objectively speaking, nothing to gain from it. He Xuan was already in the heavens by then and giving Hua Cheng intel. and Hua Cheng didn't show off that he had a banished god working for him either - he let Yin Yi wear a mask, and for years, no one (except apparently Jun Wu) knew where Yin Yu was or what had happened to him, evidenced by the way Quan Yizhen kept looking and kept asking about him to no avail (Vol 5 page 235).

We don't really get Hua Cheng's side of the story but I think the fact that he doesn't speak about it speaks for itself - aside from keeping things close to his chest in general, he tends to not talk about the things he does out of kindness and/or his own sense of justice. We see this for example when Xie Lian only finds out why the group of cultivators is after Hua Cheng when he overhears them saying that Hua Cheng chose to shelter both the pig spirit and the prostitute ghost who had chosen to take revenge on humans who had used their positions of power to hurt others (Vol 5 page 28-29).

This is therefore more speculation than analysis, but I can imagine that this whole scenario - a god with a good heart who gets abandoned by the heavens with only a vengeful spirit by his side - even though the exact circumstances that led to it differed, might have held enough similarities to what Hua Cheng personally witnessed of Xie Lian's banishment that it would bring out that same urge to help and protect in Hua Cheng. The fact that Yin Yu says Hua Cheng saved him really can't be overstated in my opinion, considering that Hua Cheng, understandably, has usually nothing but feelings of either indifference or hatred for all of the gods aside from Xie Lian and the Rain Master.

To sum up - the power structures in heaven encourage workplace harassment, bullying, and endless competition for resources and support, and this causes Yin Yu not only increased stress, isolation, and unhappiness, but also puts a strain on his inherent kindness and righteousness as he starts to give in under the pressure to conform. By contrast, his position in Ghost City is dependant on nothing but his loyalty to Hua Cheng, on Yin Yu's own choice to stay with him, and offers him an unprecedented amount of respect and trust. It is heaven, really, that is repeatedly shown to mistreat and exploit its officials, especially those of lower rank, not Hua Cheng.

[archiveoftragedies]

In mdzs, when the public opinion started shifting and everyone turned on jgy it made me feel vindicated. Finally they're siding with me against the guy that keeps pissing me off. But that only lasted an instant. Slowly, progressively, I started going wait. Wait no hold on. Go back. I didn't mean it that way go back. Because they were saying about jgy the exact same bullshit they had been saying about wwx the entire novel. And suddenly it felt really off.

Then, during the flashbacks leading up to Nightless City, I kept thinking back on that thing wwx tells nhs in volume one, when nhs explains his family's solution to their haunted saber problem. "Well, that's hitting a bit close to the demonic cultivation path". Doesn't nhs refuse to swordfight as well? Is he even carrying a sword? How come he can get away with this (and wwx can't)?

Wwx and jgy have similar origins but were raised in different environments. They learned similar survival methods and tried to play by the rules up until they couldn't anymore. They had the two more prominent roles in winning the sunshot campaign, and yet everyone forgot about that the second they decided they were irredeemable. They met similar ends, fighting and protecting people they loved.

Nhs became the kind of person his brother would despise in trying to avenge him. He became like his brother's murderer. His survival method is also trying to make himself seem harmless, not with polite smiles or clever distractions but with tears. The only reason he didn't meet the same end as the other two is that he managed to stay out of the public's eye, and because his reputation was unstained from the beginning. Although I should note that he is Nie Mingjue's half-brother, which might hint at a more complicated heritage, more similar to that of the other two, than one would suspect at first glance. But whether that's the case or not, the point is that nobody would call nhs a bastard, and that means that people will overlook certain things he does that have condemned the other two to death.

That's what makes them such great narrative foils. In the end all three of them are cheating, but nhs had better cards to begin with.

[ukiyowi]

Channelled Messages II 💌

Channelling messages from your: Future Spouse's guides, your shadow self, your parents.

Note: Have fun!! And please reblog and send feedback (if you want) it helps a ton, have a lovely day everyone. Reblogging and paid readings help a lot! Pls DM me if you want one!

Masterlist! || Book a reading! || Tip 🫙!

Future Spouse's Guides

Your Shadow Self

Your Parents

- ✪✪✪ -

💌 Pile 1

My Dearest,

As the spirit guide of your future spouse, I am honored to offer you guidance and wisdom that transcends the boundaries of time and space. Though my role is to support your beloved from the spiritual realm, I am deeply invested in your happiness and well-being, for your future union is a testament to the profound love and connection you share. In this letter, I aim to provide you with advice that is both general yet specific, touching upon various aspects of life, not solely confined to matters of love.

First and foremost, let us discuss the significance of self-discovery. Throughout your life's journey, you will encounter a myriad of experiences, challenges, and joys. It is crucial to embrace these moments as opportunities for growth and self-understanding. As you become more attuned to your own needs, desires, and values, you will naturally radiate a sense of authenticity and confidence that will enrich your relationship.

Never forget the importance of compromise. In every relationship, there will be differences in opinions, preferences, and priorities. Approach these disagreements with a willingness to find common ground, and remember that sometimes, the act of yielding can be a powerful testament to your love.

Remember to nurture the small moments of joy and spontaneity. Life often unfolds in the ordinary, and it is within these seemingly simple moments that the deepest connections are forged. Cherish the laughter, the shared meals, and the quiet evenings together.

The universe is conspiring to bring you together with your beloved, and your spirit guides, myself included, watch over you with love and care. Embrace the lessons and blessings that come your way, and may your love story be a timeless testament to the power of love.

They are waiting for you, your souls are meant to meld and they will very soon, till then please take care of yourself <3.

With love 🩵

💌 Pile 2

Hello love,

Beginning with, let me assure you that your path is illuminated by the radiant light of potential and destiny. The future holds both challenges and triumphs, and it is essential to approach them with an open heart and a resilient spirit. Remember, life is a beautiful tapestry woven from both joy and sorrow, and every thread contributes to your unique and intricate story.

One of the most important pieces of advice I can offer is to embrace the ever-changing nature of existence. Life is a series of cycles, and like the seasons, it brings moments of both abundance and scarcity. In times of abundance, cherish the blessings bestowed upon you, but do not become complacent. Use your good fortune to uplift others and to grow as an individual. And in times of scarcity, hold steadfast to your inner strength, for they are the crucibles in which your character is forged.

In the pursuit of your dreams and aspirations, I urge you to cultivate patience and perseverance. Life's most significant accomplishments often require time and effort. Do not be discouraged by setbacks, for they are the stepping stones to your ultimate success. Your journey may be arduous at times, but your future spouse's spirit guide assures you that every challenge you face is an opportunity for growth. As you journey through life, you will encounter love in its many forms.

Some loves will be fleeting, like shooting stars in the night sky, while others will be enduring and steadfast like the North Star. It is important to discern between the two, for not all who enter your life are meant to stay, and not all who depart are lost.

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation upon which all other connections are built. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and remember that self-love is not a selfish act, but a necessary one. When you love and respect yourself, you radiate positivity, attracting love and respect from others.

Waiting for you~

💌 Pile 3

Hi sweetheart!

In the years to come, you will encounter crossroads and diverging paths. The choices you make at these junctures will shape your professional destiny. Remember, dear one, that it is not always about the most lucrative or prestigious option, but rather the one that aligns with your passions and values. Seek out work that resonates with your soul, for a fulfilling career is one that brings joy and a sense of purpose.

Let me reassure you that the path you're on is destined for greatness. While life can be a rollercoaster, remember that even the steepest drops can lead to thrilling highs. So, don't be afraid to embrace the twists and turns that come your way. They're all part of the grand adventure. Now, let's talk about your career.

Picture it like a delicious buffet (and who doesn't love a good buffet, right?). You've got a wide array of options laid out before you. Some might look tempting, while others might leave you scratching your head. My advice? Try a bit of everything! Just like at the buffet, you won't know what your absolute favorite is until you've sampled a little bit of everything.

Don't feel pressured to settle for the first dish that comes your way. Explore different career opportunities, experiment with various roles, and indulge in your passions. If you're passionate about something, even if it seems unconventional, go for it

Remember, your future is a canvas, and your career is the vibrant palette you use to paint your masterpiece. Oh, and remember to strike a balance between work and play. Life isn't all about the hustle and grind.

Take time to savor the sweet moments, laugh with friends, and cherish the love of your future spouse. They'll be your biggest cheerleader on this journey, and together, you'll conquer any challenge that comes your way.

Take care love!

- ✪✪✪ -

💌 Pile 1

I see you often doubting your abilities and second-guessing your decisions. When you're faced with challenges or new opportunities, you tend to retreat into your comfort zone to avoid the discomfort of failure or rejection.

My advice to you is this: Embrace the discomfort. Step outside of your comfort zone intentionally, even when it scares you. It's in those moments of vulnerability that you can truly learn and grow. Remember, making mistakes is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of courage and the path to improvement.

When faced with challenges, don't shy away. Confront them head-on, for it is through adversity that you discover your true strength. Embrace your flaws and imperfections, for they are what make you uniquely you. They hold the seeds of your growth and evolution.

Do not suppress your emotions; they are your compass. Feel them deeply, both the joy and the pain. They offer valuable insights into your desires, fears, and aspirations. Learn from them and allow them to guide your decisions.

Embrace your darkness, for it holds the potential for profound transformation. It is not something to be feared, but a wellspring of untapped creativity and power.

Remember, you are a mosaic of light and shadow, embrace both.

💌 Pile 2

When you hear that inner voice saying, "I can't do it" or "I'm not good enough," that's me. My advice is to confront those thoughts head-on.

First and foremost, remember that your thoughts are not necessarily facts. They are products of your perception and past experiences. Start by analyzing the evidence for and against these self-doubts. Ask yourself, "What proof do I have that I can't do it?" You might be surprised to find that many of your fears are based on assumptions rather than concrete evidence.

Furthermore, consider reframing your self-talk. Instead of saying, "I can't," try saying, "I can, but it might be challenging," or "I can, with effort and practice." This shift in perspective can empower you to approach tasks with a growth mindset, recognizing that even failures and setbacks are opportunities for learning and improvement.

Embrace challenges as opportunities to prove me wrong. Remember that growth often occurs outside your comfort zone. Taking calculated risks, setting ambitious goals, and pushing your boundaries are all ways to demonstrate your capabilities. Each small victory, each obstacle overcome, is a testament to your potential.

Seeking support and encouragement from others is not wrong or bad. Share your aspirations and fears with trusted friends, mentors, or therapists. They can provide valuable perspectives, guidance, and motivation during your journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Analyse your doubts, reframe your self-talk, embrace challenges, and seek support. By doing so, you can prove your shadow self wrong and unlock your full potential.

💌 Pile 3

When haunting memories of past mistakes and regrets resurface, don't let them consume you. Rather than dwelling on the pain of the past, reflect on what each experience has taught you. Every misstep and error holds within its valuable lessons. Reflect on what you've learned from these experiences, for they have shaped you into the person you are today.

Forgiveness, both of yourself and others, can be liberating. It allows you to release the emotional burdens that may be holding you back and opens the door to personal growth and healing.

Finally, those impulses and desires that occasionally surge within you are not to be ignored or suppressed. Instead, explore their origins and motivations. Sometimes, these desires reveal untapped passions and dreams that are yearning for your attention. By embracing and understanding them, you can find ways to channel them positively, enriching your life in unexpected ways.

I am here to challenge you to become a more authentic and whole version of yourself. They are not reckless impulses but signposts pointing to unfulfilled potential.

By acknowledging and channeling these desires constructively, you can embark on a transformative journey toward a more fulfilling and authentic life.

- ✪✪✪ -

💌 Pile 1

You've been positively shining lately, and we couldn't be prouder.

It's like watching a shooting star streak across the sky – you're constantly surprising us with your brilliance and leaving us in awe. From acing your exams to that recent project you tackled with gusto, you're proving to the world that you're a force to be reckoned with.

But you know what we love even more than your accomplishments? It's your zest for life and the twinkle in your eye as you chase your dreams. Remember, life is not just about reaching destinations; it's about enjoying every twist and turn of the journey.

So, keep reaching for the stars, our little superstar! We have no doubt that you'll continue to amaze us and everyone around you. Just promise us one thing – never lose that playful spirit and infectious enthusiasm that makes you who you are.

We love you more than words can express, and we can't wait to see where your next adventure takes you. Congratulations, and keep on. You're not just making us proud; you're making the whole family proud!

💌 Pile 2

We hope this letter finds you well and wrapped in the warmth of our love, even if from afar. There are words we've been carrying in our hearts, words that need to find their way to you.

We want to tell you how very sorry we are for any moments of pain, frustration, or disappointment we may have caused you in the course of your life. As parents, we've made mistakes, stumbled along the way, and at times, failed to truly understand your perspective.

We want you to know that our love for you is immeasurable, and it is in the shadow of that love that we can identify and acknowledge our shortcomings. We recognize that there were moments when we should have listened more, when we should have supported your dreams more enthusiastically, and when we should have been a more constant presence in your life.

Please understand that our actions were never intended to cause you harm. We were navigating the complexities of parenthood the best we knew how, often learning as we went along. Sometimes, our fears and insecurities clouded our judgment, and for that, we are deeply sorry.

Our love for you, though, has always been unwavering, a beacon of hope and pride. Watching you grow, accomplish, and become the remarkable person you are today fills us with indescribable joy. Your kindness, intelligence, and strength are a testament to your character, and we couldn't be prouder.

We hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us for any past missteps. Our wish is that we can move forward with a renewed sense of understanding, compassion, and love between us.

We're here to support you in all your endeavors, to listen when you need an ear, and to be the parents you truly deserve. With a love that will never die,

🩷

💌 Pile 3

You are a cherished part of our lives, and nothing will ever change that. We wanted to share some feelings with you because we believe in open and honest communication. Recently, there have been moments when we felt a slight sense of disappointment in some of your choices and actions.

Please understand that this disappointment does not diminish our love for you, nor does it define our overall view of you as a person. We apologize for feeling this way, as we recognize that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Our expectations might have been too high, and we realize that it's important for us to accept you as you are, with your unique strengths and flaws.

Our intention in sharing this is not to make you feel guilty or burdened but to foster understanding and growth within our family. We believe that through open conversations and support, we can work through these feelings together. We hope that you can forgive us for any undue pressure we may have unintentionally placed on you.

Remember, our love for you is boundless and unconditional, and we are here to help and support you as you navigate life's challenges. Let's move forward together, learning from our experiences, and growing as individuals and as a family.

- ✪✪✪ -