#even as maybe theres an impulse in him to go

[carpathians]

also beaver hollow makes me so insane for. real reasons but also for reasons i entirely made up. tbh

[orcelito]

I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.

Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...

I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...

[tinylittlebab]

bleh everything SUCKS

[i-smoke-chapstick]

‘THE VALLEY, [hard kinks! hcs]

-GOTHAM!VILLAINS X READER-

⋆ Characters ↬ Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Zsasz, Edward Nygma, Jerome Valeska, Jervis Tetch

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; hard and unusual kinks hcs with the gotham villain men

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!villains x female reader. PURE PORN like this is absolutely filthy and descriptive. Some of these are probably too creative and WAY out of character, but oh well. I need to practice my smut writing skills and what better way to do it then with some short scenarios of our boys ? HARD KINKS (all of them are too kinky for there own good) sadomasochistic sex warning for victor and jerome,,, and (sort of?) non-consensual hypnosis warning for jervis, somnophilia and bondage warning for ed. controlling and degrading behavior.

𝛰𝑆𝑊𝐴𝐿𝐷 𝐶𝛰𝐵𝐵𝐿𝐸𝑃𝛰𝑇

♫ “Obey, like I’m your master babe.” The Valley by Miguel

He has a habit of leaving in the mornings. He’s a gangster, a crime lord. He loves his job…you think. But it’s hard. Especially seeing him go. Which is why when the two of you fuck, he makes it worth your while.

Yes, he’s shy. He despises indecency. He doesn’t fuck, he makes love. At least, that’s what he likes to think, so you let him.

But you know better. Oswald can’t control anything about himself. The man is impulsive and spoiled. And when he wants you to feel something, you feel it. For better or for worse.

Which is why when he’s awfully pent up and sexually frustrated, you reap the benefits of the king of gotham’s cock pistoning into you. He needs to feel wanted. He needs the two of you to feel loved. He thinks the two of you are sweetly and slowly fucking in his mind. But in reality?

His thick length is hammering into you, selfishly ignoring your pleas. No, he gets drunk on them. Even if he doesn’t want to admit how obscene he’s being.

You’ll feel his sticky tip align with your pussy. He means to enter you slowly, but before you know it, he’s letting himself go. Every inch of his cock is filling you up, taking you in. His eyes are rolling back as he feels you clench around him, and he tries to push all the more unsavory thoughts out of his head.

Thoughts of you tied up. Worshipping him. Unable to resist him. Thoughts of you riding his thighs, while he gives the order to shoot someone dead. The idea of you bending to him, being a good servant. Kissing his shoes, groveling and kneeling. Degrading you.

His fingers sink into the fat of your thighs and ass, clawing at any part of you he can grasp.

His mother taught him better, he reprimands himself. But how can he stay composed and loving when you look at him like he’s the only man in the world?

Oh, he wants to make you feel good, loved, and have this be an act of intimacy. It’s what he was raised to believe sex was for. But he also wants you on your knees, choking on his length, collared like a dog.

𝑉𝐼𝐶𝑇𝛰𝑅 𝑍𝑆𝐴𝑆𝑍

♫ “I wanna fuck like we're filming in the valley.” The Valley by Miguel

Victor is always upfront with what he wants. And he’s been around the block one too many times. He’s fucked around quite a bit. He’s a ladies man, what can he say?

Which is why vanilla sex is entirely boring to him. Well, maybe not entirely. Not with you.

But theres something so special about mixing physical pain, his sole desire, with you, his other sole desire. It’s his lifes work, meeting the love of his life. What’s not to like?

Which is why he blunty suggests the idea. And boy is he glad he did.

A phone camera is pushed into your face while he records everything. The sloppy noises of your pretty pink mouth slipping and sliding around his cock.

It’s not just any homemade porno either, no. It’s a borderline snuff film.

He films himself slotting his cock into your swollen lips, one hand recording, another hand on a pistol pressed firmly against your head while you choke on his cock. The gun isn’t loaded of course, at least, you don’t think it is.

If the gun is loaded, you’re sure he’s playing a dangerous game with himself. Testing his own capabilities. He’s the best of the best, and his fingers are placed firmly on the trigger. If he loses control or focus for even a moment, you could never see the light of day again. Each time he cums is like a self-made test for himself, an ego trip. He’s excercising the greatest control not to accidentally pull the trigger and pop your top.

You’re spitting wildly, tears and saliva and cum mixing on your face. You’ve been sucking him off for what feels like hours, playing this game, and it’s still not enough. No, the man could live his whole life with your face inbetween his thighs. You have no clue what round you’re on.

“There you go…sweetness. Uh-huh…take it.” He’ll press the gun further into your temple, talking down to you slowly. It’s awfully demeaning.

He never shuts the fuck up during sex. This is no exception. His dry humor persists in every word, even as his gun comes into contact with your fucked out wet face, or a blade slices through your sweet soft thighs.

He’s doing close-up shots of every cut he makes on your skin. He marks the both of you, respectively. He keeps the videos in his pocket for later. Y’know, just in case you aren’t there, and he needs something to jack off to. He’s a manwhore, and he can admit it.

He’ll ask to show the videos to Wendell. Just so he knows Victor wasn’t lying about his girl being a total catch.

𝐸𝐷𝑊𝐴𝑅𝐷 𝑁𝑌𝐺𝑀𝐴

♫ “I wanna taste your sweat, force my fingers in your mouth.” The Valley by Miguel

Oh, Eddy. Ever the show man. Oddly enough, I think he has the dirtiest mind and the highest sex drive out of everyone on this list. In the words of CMS, "He loves donuts and getting laid." You're no exception babe.

Similarly, he isn't the kinkiest when he's at the GCPD. The poor baby is so vanilla; so eager to please. If you want a man to put your needs above his own? Look no further. Eddy is your guy. But similar to Ozzy, the man grapples with control. How can he resist when your small sleeping body looks so innocent? So willing?

You wake up to him pumping his dick deep into your hole, groping your breasts and ass, hips plowing harshly into your stretched cunt. He wants to apologize, for waking you. He feels bad of taking advantage of you. But it's your fault. The man is a little bit of a creep and has gone his whole life without pussy. What did you expect?

That being said...when he undergoes his transformation of sorts? It's like he has something to prove, to you and himself. Riddler baby is tired of hiding in the shadows, no, it's show time. If you thought the somnophilia was kinky, you've seen nothing yet.

Season 3-4 Ed is desperate to dominate you. Claim you in every way. Prove to himself that you're not going anywhere. It's a deep seated need to exert control, with a touch of dramatic flair.

Which is why, from time to time, especially on special occasions, you'll wake up from being drugged, ball-gagged in a warehouse, tied to a chair, moaning around a vibrator overstimulated against your cunny. He'll watch the whole show, pleased with his handiwork.

Might even turn it into a game. How many riddles can you answer? Maybe if you get one right, he'll let you cum. And if you don't get one right, prepare to be in for a long, long night.

Ed's pushing his thick long fingers into your tight little pussy, watching your cream spread along his fingertips. He'll force his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself. Making you taste what he's doing to you.

He's giggling while he does so, smile wide while you gag around him. Oh, this will be fun.

𝐽𝐸𝑅𝛰𝑀𝐸 𝑉𝐴𝐿𝐸𝑆𝐾𝐴

♫ “lips, tits, clit, sit.” The Valley by Miguel

Would it be too brave to go on record to say the mans a virgin? I'm sorry, but he didn't get any pussy in that carnival.

Which is why he's incredibly sex starved. The man is feral. Hungry. He fucks you like a dog in heat half the time. You're his own personal pocket pussy, who will love him no matter what.

So when he tells you to do something, you better do it.

For instance, when he tells you to sit on his face, he means sit. No hovering. No, he wants the entirety of your weight in his mouth so he can tongue fuck you into oblivion.

He's wildly gripping at you, laughing like a mad man as he keeps you in place firmly. He's digging into your cunt with his tongue like a man whose getting his first lick of pussy. He's slapping your ass, letting you ride his face like a cowgirl.

He'll slap your sopping cunt. He'll spit in your mouth, on your face, on your pussy. He loves everything feral and sloppy. And for his own good, the man can't shut up. He loves some good dirty talk.

"Hah! There you go, doll. You want it raw? You do, don'tcha? Naughty, naughty girl." Excuse his breeding kink. "Should just pump you right up with my cum. Get you all messy. Cream-pie you riiiiiiight here," He cackles, hand hovering over you're lower stomach.

He likes seeing your face contort in pleasure and pain when your thighs scratch the staples on his face.

Oh, he's a biter. Your thighs might be bleeding by the time he's done, biting hard enough to break skin. You'll yelp in pain and it will spur him on, like you're his own personal show to watch.

God, please hit him back. Slap him. Push him around. He adores it- the two of you fucking like wild animals, clawing and at each others throats, all the while his girthy length his pounding into your sweet tight hole.

𝐽𝐸𝑅𝑉𝐼𝑆 𝑇𝐸𝑇𝐶𝐻

♫ “Tell me that you love it darling." The Valley by Miguel

Jervis has a very deep seated need to have you close to him. To have you bonded with him. He's obsessive, clingy, stalkerish. And he loves a good old fashioned Victorian flirtation. But god, he gets tired of waiting.

He's a gentlemen through and through. But even gentlemen have needs. And when he sees you in that light blue dress he bought you, pussy peaking out through the short skirt? Or how you lick your lips when the tea he makes you dribbles down?

He'll have to take what he wants eventually.

He knows you'll say yes. Even though the two of you have never talked about sex. No, you're his Alice. His willing little girl. Why would you ever say no to him? And he's right. He could ask, and you would probably say yes.

But, just for a precaution...Can't have you running off like the white rabbit, can he?

It will be late night after the two of you have tea. And he'll pull out his pocket watch. And before you know it, you'll be pinned on top a table, dress pooling between your legs, pulling on his hair against your will.

It's a sight he will never sick of. His sticky ropes of cum dripping, tainting the dress he'd bought you. It trickles down from your spine. You'll be too fucked out to walk the next day, and you won't even remember why.

He takes you, ignoring your pleas and whines of overstimulation. He'll continue to stuff his cock inside you until he feels pity for you.

Hypnotizing you while he's balls-deep inside of you, messily thrusting as he tries to concentrate. "You love this. Tell me you love me. Tell me you love this." His words scramble as he comes undone himself, letting your mind wash over and speak the words against your will.

If somehow you piece two and two together, the cum stains on your dress- and the feeling of being stretched out the next morning...assure him he doesn't have to hypnotize you.

Or let him keep it up. It's more fun for him this way.

[2chijouu]

Thinking about post MW3 how ghost is coping with soap’s death by picking up the things he used to do,

Maybe he picks up drawing, buys himself a journal identical to soaps. It starts off shitty but he still does it anyways because soap would love each of his doodles- shitty or not,

Next he picks up coffee, everyone knows ghost hates coffee- despises it, the grimace on his face every time he takes a sip says it all but no one says a word about it,

One day, price finds him in his office sitting by his window, he’s asleep, price goes to wake him up but upon a closer look he sees that theres a worn out book in his lap, its soap’s favorite book.

They’re on a mission when things suddenly take a turn for the worst, theres an unidentified bomb and no one to defuse it, it was a simple recon mission, he’d been sent alone as usual, at first he finds the mission a little sketchy but stays at his post- however when he starts seeing cars rolling in, he reports back to price and goes in for a closer look even after price tells him not to.

After observing the cars from a distance, seeing them roll out immediately after delivering whatever packages they had to the seemingly empty warehouse, he waits a couple of minutes before moving in and checking around the perimeter , after deeming it clear he’s on comms with price telling him the situation, he can hear the hesitation in prices’ voice after giving him the go to check the supply that had been dropped off,

Shuffling through the boxes, he finds nothing but some wood work paraphernalia. Ghost lets out a deep exhale and raises his hand to his shoulder for his comm when his eye spots a box that he missed, when he opens the box and discovers its an active bomb with the timer running, he immediately informs price and springs into action,

Meanwhile price is informing laswell about the current situation and requesting an immediate exfil to which she denies and tells him he needs to disarm the bomb. He bristles with contempt at that and ends their call without any further delay,

Their intel had been lacking from the beginning, and he was not about to lose another member of his team- of his family, he is contacting nikolai when gaz comes into his office to inform him ghost is requesting him on the comms,

While price had been on his way to being discharged because of his impulsiveness and willingness to break multiple rules to get his man out of that situation, said man had simply told him that the bomb had been defused and that when can exfil arrive,

Astonished by the implication of that statement, he asked ghost how did he disarm it all by himself even though he didn’t have any demolition training, to which he was met with silence and then a quiet,

“with Johnny’s help..”

Price stood there with a stunned look on his face but quickly recovered and informed ghost that exfil is on its way.

When ghost lands back on base and exits the heli to see price and gaz waiting up for him, he walks up to them and says nothing, no one does for a bit until price lets out a deep sigh and puts his hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze,

“Good job out there, son.”

Gaz gives him a small smile and they all walk back towards their respective barracks and offices.

Ghost, freshened up after a shower, goes to the rec room to get something warm to drink and sees gaz there by the kitchen counter making himself a cuppa, ghost joins him and they’re both making their drinks in silence when gaz breaks it,

“We miss him too, you know?”

Ghost freezes but quickly recovers and gives him an answering hum before moving to the small kitchen table and sits on the chair, gaz joins him with a plate of biscuits and they both sit in silence.

Then ghost speaks,

“Bastard always liked to run his mouth whenever he was defusing a bomb, i picked it up after he..”

He couldn’t continue without his voice shaking but gaz knew so he didn’t say anything further.

They’re all trying to fill in the hole that has been left by him in some way or another.

You can’t fill a bottomless hole.

[foralternateuniverses]

One again pulling what I wrote on the discord server and putting it here:

Sora and Ivankov are friends (also Sora is trans) and so Ivankov helps Sora and her children escape Germa.

It's a surprise attack, it was supposed to be a secret quick in and out, but they needed to do STH to stop Judge from immediately going after them, so goodbye laboratories. Sora can barely stay up but she manages to get all her children before Ivankov finds her. They don't take them to Baltigo, they meet up at a meeting up first with Dragon.

However, their disguised ship ends up being attacked by Zeff's pirates, and it happens as canon, till they're rescued by Ivankon and they finally go meet Dragon and he's to suggest windmill village, so they take them there. (Zeff stays with them)

It doesn't take them long to meet Makino, she befriends Sora instantly and decides to help them out, Ivankov has treated the kids to try to undo what Judge did, but it obv won't go away that easily, they're a little lost on how to help them be normal-er but they're trying, and Sanji is flourishing as a cook with Zeff and Makino. Theres a lot of kicking on Zeff's part.

Finally, Makino decides that they should have some friends their age, and who better than Luffy and his brothers? So up the mountain they go, Zeff doesn't go with them but Sora does, she and Sanji baked some pastries as a gift.

ASL and 124 obv clash on sight, they end up brawling until Zeff arrives and kicks them all.

Sora decides to regularly go up the mountain, even tho she doesn't really have the strength to do so, but she insists it'll be good for her and her children, and she manages to become Dandan's bestie much to the other woman's chagrin.

ASL adore Sora, Ace specially practically imprinted like a baby duck, it awakens some jealousy in the quadruplets (that's *their* mom after all)

Their rivalry becomes more and more friendly with time.

When Sora ends up bedridden, ASL and Dadan end up going down the mountain to visit regularly

They're very shaken up by Sabo's "death", Yonji is with Dogra when looking for Sabo, meaning, he gets to see the explosion and be extra traumatised by Sabo's "death", later he'll realise Sabo was his first love

And then it'll turn out that Sabo ain't dead uwu

It's the first time they cry.

Sora ends up dying some time after that due to her illness, but time goes on, Ichiji leaves with Ace, then Niji and Yonji also go on their own, and Reiju waits until after Sanji leaves with Luffy

Ichiji is sticking to Ace's ass when he confronts White Beard and later when he goes to look for Teach, he pulls the "We always done everything together" which is technically incorrect but still works because Ace ain't leaving him behind after that

The Alabasta reunion is very cute, Ichiji internally judges Zoro; Luffy, Sanji and the others think Acechiji are already together (they aren't yet) and Sanji denies having any kind of attraction towards Zoro when Ichiji brings out the topic (also Sanji might had once a little crush on Ace, one which Ichiji noticed and won't forget and which might have stopped him from starting a relationship with Ace until Impeldown and Marineford, when he's forced to accept his feelings and maybe do STH about them. Ofc he's unable to hold back after Marineford, and so is Ace, and they end up together but Ichiji still feels guilty because he doesn't know that Sanji got over that years ago and is busy being together with Zoro (they get together after Thrillerbark) so he tries to hide it until Sanji finds out Ichiji apologizes and Sanji is like "what for? I'm happy for you".)

Ace on the other hand is forced by the confrontation with Teach，when his impulsiveness and no-backing-down thing almost cost him Ichiji, but they're both taken and later separated in Impeldown so he can't do much about it.

Ichiji sees Ace's silhouette forming between Akainu's punch and Luffy, he barely has any energy left, and some of his old wounds may have reopened, but he can't simply stand and watch, somehow, he manages to throw himself in Akainu's way, arms hugging both Luffy and Ace, dragging them together. Akainu's punch burns through his arm and onto Ace's back, thankfully, before Akainu can do more damage, Reiju and Sabo finally catch up to them and intervene and drag them away from Akainu's lava.

Ace passes out, his vivrecard keeps shrinking, Luffy is screaming, their siblings pick them up and run away now that they have cover, Ichiji barely manages to catch Ace's vivrecard.

ah yeah, I put Niji and Yonji with Law and Reiju with the revolutionaries, she drags Sabo to rescue Ace and Ichiji

[freakinator]

funny thing about how i view the conflict in todays stream is that i view flame and wemmbu in very separate ways despite them doing essentially the same thing

in flames case:

i view his betrayal as ultimately a tragedy, their history all thrown aside due to a combination of wounded pride and genuine upset

if yall didnt see his chat for this stream it was actually really, really bad, like his chat is genuinely so fucking annoying oh my god and is a really good demonstration of why i think streamers should be mean to their chatters sometimes to so i actually wasnt at all surprised that he was so upset but i thought hed log off instead of acting out like this

he wanted respect but literally ruined the months long work of one of the few ppl that were willing to trust him over something that couldve been resolved if he just waited until september, but at the same time i can kinda understand why he was being so impulsive considering again his chat is Really bad, but at the end of the day that really shouldnt have been something you took out on one of your few allies like???? bruh even mocked zams storytelling as if he didnt do thee same shit as well 😭

honestly one of the reasons i was sad about his betrayal is cause it kinda sounded to me like he was genuinely about to cry at first??? maybe im just making shit up tho and he def stopped sounding like he was gonna cry after blowing up the spacewaffles tower lol

in wemmbus case:

i feel no pity for this man, he wanted conflict wherever he can get it and he got it! i think hes a lot like zam in that he just wants some attention and most importantly something to do but whatever happens to him next is his own fault lmao, i respect his honesty tho like hey he sucks but he knows what hes about at least lol

the fact that he still kept trying to get a commission from zam (or at least guilttripping him about it for lack of a better word) like bro i know you wanted to do a capitalism morality dilemma arc with zam but read the room my guy 😭

maybe hes at least a little mad that zam kept turning him away despite the fact he accepted a commission from mapicc of all ppl but like. bro. theres a reason zam called him a nightmare customer lmao

that being said you can tell hes not used to going this overboard considering he offered to help repair the tree when zam got upset lmao

idk i just thought his evilness was kinda funny, still hope he gets his shit kicked in spectacularly tho!

its funny, despite being acting like the shitty no reading comprehension version of abyss he gives me the exact same feeling of schadenfreude i did for minute back in s5 and i believe part of it is his mockery of lore and weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict particularly regarding zam

by weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict i mean both he and minute both tried to convince zam to see ''their side'' and ''reason'' but coming at it from an angle that completely misunderstands zam and when zam points it out they dismiss it and act like it means nothing because of their ''objective'' view of reality, spoiler alert! its not objective at all and they refuse to understand things from zams perspective cause they think hes just being unreasonable or something

idk overall i think their motivations for doing things are just kinda... shit lol

like ik theres some pretty obvious parallels that can be made with s5 here but the difference between the og players and flamebu aside from the lack of style and drama is that the og players waited several months before they started acting out the way they did and when they did start acting out tgey always made sure evryone who wanted to get involved Actually got involved rather than doing it while everyone was away plus their opps werent their own allies (except maybe pangi depending on how you look at it)

[alumirp]

it happens when hes seven. He blinks and suddenly all he can see is blue, above and below, sky and sea. bright, shining blue, totally different from the pearly white walls and ceiling of his room. he blinks again, but the blue is still there.

He hears a grunt, full with confusion that he himself did not feel. after all, law was warned that this day would come. turning around, hes faced with a tall man, so much taller than him that it is ridiculous, and in the tall mans hands, there is the smallest baby of all time.

laws father was the one to explain why Lami would just disappear sometimes. as she in fact wasnt disappearing, she was being teleported closer to her soulmate. every day, once or twice she would disappear for a period of time and then appear again

lami was older than her soulmate by only a few months, but that made her the one who was pulled across the sea. soulmates worked like that, their father told him. they werent meant to be apart, so they didn't.

the older of a pair would be teleported to the younger one, so they could spend time together. law would also be taken to his soulmate one day, he just had to wait and be prepared to take care of them, since he was clearly the oldest one.

then he blinks and looks at the tall man and thinks that logically it is impossible that this is his soulmate, his eyes focus on the baby, the tiny baby that squirms in the mans arms and law knows that it is them

a moment later, the man seems to finally understand the situation. law watches his tired expression twist into one of resignation as he kneels down and shows him the baby.

''this is luffy.'' the man says, and he sounds loving, as if the baby is precious to him law just stares dumbly as the little baby grimaces, irritated at being moved and pulled from his slumber. he watches as the little round face contorts and suddenly the boat is filled with loud crying coming from the red faced baby when the man moves to rock the baby, a panicked expression on his face, its laws turn to grimace, impulsively approaching and pulling the man's cape.

"youre holding him wrong! you will only make him cry even more!" he makes him sit down, adjusts his posture, placing the babys head on the mans arm, ignoring the confused and curious looks he gets throughout the process. he does everything the same way he saw his father doing on the hospital once it takes a moment to get the baby to stop crying, but when they finally do, law finally asks.

"where is his mother? he might be hungry."

the man doesnt answer, a pained expression on his face and Law figures that its the wrong question to ask, so he continues. ''where are we going?''

"somewhere he will be safe." the man says, holding the baby tighter, a weird look in his eyes.

law blinks and "you're going to abandon him"

he watches as the man stiffens and sighs. "a child like you wouldnt understand." "my parents work in a hospital." law says, looking away from the man to luffy. "theres a little girl there, she was abandoned by her parents because shes sick. she has friends, she has nurses and doctors and even the nuns, but she always looks extremely lonely." the man finally looks at him, as if only now truly seeing law. law looks back.

''you shouldnt let him be lonely too. maybe he will never know of your existence, but I know he will miss your presence.''

and with that, when law blinks again, hes back in his room.

[bonefall]

i know u dont rework arcs untill theyre complete but im very excited to see what you do with a starless clan, theres so much exciting things happening in this arc to work with. do you have any changes you already know for sure you’ll be incorporating?

No for-sures. I don't want to make any for-sures. I have ones I'm feeling but I don't want to call ANYTHING a for-sure yet. I need to find out what the ending is, WHERE this is all going, because I have a strong philosophy in my writing that a story is like a spear;

IT'S ALL ABOUT GETTING TO THE POINT.

But we are 4/6 of the way in, so I CAN start talking about thoughts!

I'm actually leaning pretty heavily towards axing Nightheart as a POV. There's still time for the books to turn around and justify it, BUT HEAR ME OUT

(Saying AS someone who is a Nightheart Enjoyer)

So far I'm really feeling that his character would benefit from us never being inside of his head, or seeing what he's been going through. As much as I WILL stand by that I enjoyed books 1 and 2 and liked his perspectives there, I'm starting to think that it would serve the story a lot better for Sunbeam and Frostpaw to be guessing just as much as we are.

We'd get introduced to Nightheart on the journey for catmint.

Sunbeam connects with him immediately, because she's tossed on this mission while she's in the middle of a swirling tide of drama. With nothing but Clerics and a hardened Rootspring to the left and her ex-bestie (exstie) to the right, he's really her only other choice for companionship. She's chronically unable to stop problems before they get out of hand, the sort of person who becomes frozen by indecision, and then here comes this Glorious Bastard

In her eyes, he's so caring, and bold, and fun! He's the first one to jump headlong into danger, to really be interested in her problems and just let her talk, and his story is so heartbreaking! A mother who's so hard on him... and his Clan is so mean all the time, but he wants to prove to all of them that he's more than just Firestar's descendant... but he was so brave to choose his own name.................

And then, when she follows him into ThunderClan, she learns he fucking lied. She changed Clans based on SOB STORIES

When she first comes, no one knows what he's been saying behind their back. Even if they did, they don't want to start trashing Nightheart right to his new mate's face. But then he LEAVES, and Sunbeam will bring up,

"Maybe it was because you were hard on him?"

And then Sparkpelt tries to agree, just to take blame onto herself and stop all this, but Finchlight's had eNOUGH and ends up setting the record straight;

"No this is DEFINITELY another tantrum. He already ran off once before."

"NO he didn't pick his own name, he stopped the whole ceremony to complain and Bramblestar gave him a compromise"

"MEAN to him?? I had to do HIS WORK because he couldn't STAY ON THE GROUND"

"Oh he's buckling under the weight of his legacy? that must be so hard. I was cat-fifteen when i punched my first fascist and he was wearing the face of my grandpa."

"His mom aba-WHAT?? ABANDONED???? OUR MOTHER WAS EXILED AND HE STAYED HOME!!!!! WE WERE CAT-FIFTEEN!!"

With this false hope shattered, Sunbeam is thrown into a devastating situation where... her mother was right. She was tricked. And now she's stuck in this new Clan without any of her old friends, without this mate who was too-good-to-be-true, the ONE impulsive choice she's made on her own in her WHOLE LIFE turns to ashes in her mouth. She can't go back, either, because Berryheart would NEVER let her live this down.

But... it's okay.

It's a slow shock, to make a choice SO impulsive and SO self-concerned, and find a safety net below her. It's going to be okay. The trials are fair. The cats of ThunderClan interrupt and speak over each other, but, that teaches her to be more assertive. Sparkpelt and Finchlight are not the mean assholes that Nightheart built them up to be, and they'll support her no matter what she chooses to do with her possible mate.

I want Nightheart TO get better, but, in order for that to happen, he has to face, and, more importantly, ACCEPT consequences. He needs to develop the maturity to say, "I acted like a brat and didn't appreciate what I had. and I'm sorry. you don't have to forgive me."

Bottom line being, Nightheart is striking me lately as a character that works best as unpredictable, because we have NO IDEA what's truly in his head. It would be interesting for him to have a novella later, but as it stands, his POV has consistently just been a duplicate since he joined ShadowClan. We gained NOTHING from splitting the Frostpaw Journey of the newest book in half POV, and VERY little from splitting the ShadowClan one into half POV.

I might reduce the POVs to 2, just Sunbeam and Frostpaw, or change Nightheart's to Lightleap. If I NEED 3 main characters, then they should all be a consistent camera on different parts of the conflict.

Again. I do not commit to changes until the arcs are done. Nothing in BB!ASC is set yet.

But here's some other little things I'm thinking,

Bramblestar is VOTED out.

He does not step down. The little "game" he played with Nightheart to create a situation to yell at Squilf, who hasn't been his mate in a long time in BB, was the LAST straw for ThunderClan.

They had sympathy for him before that point, because of what he went through with Ashfur, but his leadership was long and controversial even before the Impostor.

And there's a really strong sentiment that IF Bramblestar had been a good leader... they would have realized he was possessed sooner. So, there are those who partially blame him for the tyranny of the Impostor.

Basically; enough is enough.

Berryheart's hate group has ACTUAL consequences. Someone gets killed; probably Antfur, who survived the last arc to die here.

More fights. This arc has been too bloodless. Already planning SEVERAL sudden, random brawls in RiverClan as tensions boil.

Heartstar is going to be MORE controversial. Not controversial enough in canon imo. I don't like how Leaf and Squilf seem like they have "hypothetical" issues with the invasion instead of being able to point at REAL ones.

riverclan didn't forget how to do the chores they've done their WHOLE lives, no. I'm going to talk about POWER VACUUMS and create ACTUAL factions that begin to coagulate in RiverClan.

if we're going to have a brainless plot about how "Well Ackshually democracy has enough problems to make us reconsider not having unaccountable, tyrannical dictators, because a vote could maybe be called over One Single Issue" then I'll talk about shit like the spoiler effect, mob mentality, and factionalism. Get the hell out of my way ERIN I'll cook

No Smoky. Society has progressed past the need for Smoky. No Smokyng Area.

Whistlepaw should to try and take care of her ALONE, not trained enough to take care of SUCH bad wounds and barely able to keep her trembling paws straight, and Frostpaw realizes that she's making her watch her own friend die.

Is this how her life is going to end? slipping away under the paws of someone she loves, for what? pride? to do what her mother told her-- trust no cat?

As she TRUSTS Whistlepaw? Trusts her SO much, that Frostpaw will force her to be the only witness to her death?

FROSTPAW CALLS THE HUMAN

...which in BB, is a team of researchers. She drags herself to them, and collapses. This is why they just HAPPENED to have the proper equipment on them; they're WILDLIFE VETS.

Not sure how I'm going to handle Frostpaw's Journey though. In BB, the Park Cats are already a foundational part of Clan Culture.

In all honesty, while I HAVE to praise the fact that the Erins have FINALLY created ONE outsider group that isn't malicious or defenseless... I don't much care for them.

sending frostpaw on a side quest to what's essentially a big DOTC reference. Look! It's that group we introduced in the last 5 chapters of our latest glorified recap! cooool.

We're just going to get nothing but fucking founders in every dream from now on. I'm SURE of it.

As a consolation prize to myself though I will be writing cool angel scenes of the absolute BEING that Riverstar has become in heaven.

Riverstar (normal cat): "Elder Bones I'm going out!"

"not dressed like THAT you're not!!!"

Riverstar (the manifestation of the river, the rain in the sky above, and the abyss below, and how through water we are all truly connected as one being): "better?"

I will probably keep the Park Cats and rework them significantly, but I'm leaning pretty heavily towards Frostpaw visiting a LOT of places. A holy pilgrimage.

ESPECIALLY one of the Tribe's three wards; the River Ward. The Tribe of Rushing Water believes (it's even in the name) that water connects all things.

So I think it would be really fitting for Frostpaw to learn from MANY perspectives, starting with this philosophy put forth by the River Ward.

And she realizes-- that's what Riverstar is, as well. As a being. He is mentoring her on this pilgrimage, while barely saying a word. She can feel him wherever she is, because he isn't JUST the God of the River.

He is connection. He is peace. He's water. Too much and you'd drown, not enough and you'd thirst.

EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: Here is the rough draft of Frostpaw's Journey

[the-s1lly-corner]

This is a silly request you don't have to do it or don't have to do it now

TADC crew having to take care of a very sleepy kid reader

Like this kid just falls asleep in the most random places that are sometimes dangerous probably giving people parental/sibling panic as they try to get the sleeping kid out of danger as the kid is oblivious to the world around them

TADC cast x very sleepy kid!reader (platonic!)

UEUEUEUE gonna answer a few requests then imma go ahead and start cooking tonight's dinner yahoo!!

Sorry that stuff has been slowing down a lot lately, between being sick last week and getting a ton of baking orders to deal with after recovering, I've been a little pressed for time and energy <\3

CAINE:

Good news for your safety, reader! Caine keeps all his eyes on you and watches you like a hawk! hes already pulling you to a safe place to sleep when you so much as yawn; perhaps even getting a digital cloud to hover around so you can sleep on it.. hell even if he cant get a cloud he might summon a bunch of bubbles to carry you around

Baby harness

He carries you in one of those/j

POMNI:

Easily one of the most panicked when she sees you curled up and sleeping in the middle of a chaotic IHA, tries to scramble towards you. You know those tropes in cartoons where a character has a fragile person/object they're trying to protect at all costs and it leads to the character doing the protecting getting all beat up? That's basically you and pomni, I think

You wake up and ask why she looks like she just got zapped by lightning

RAGATHA:

Always keeps you within arms length when she realizes just how sleepy you are all the time; perhaps even offers to carry you when you're feeling a little tired. Really with ragatha theres a little risk of you falling asleep in a random area. I think the only reason you may end up in a dangerous situation is if she needed someone else to look over you briefly

Just know that if this ever happens she will never let the one who was meant to be responsible for you live it down

Cough cough jax or maybe even zooble

JAX:

Unlike the above, if he were responsible for you in a general sense he would feel far more panicked than if he was playing babysitter. That's not to say he wouldnt panic if he was put in charge of you by someone else and you fell asleep somewhere. No he still would... but he feels a new level of guilt if youre *his kid*

As mentioned in the reader w/ crutches post he has a habit of zooming off and doing his own thing especially if it's for a new prank idea he came up with

So theres a chance he sometimes impulsively runs off. Like he gets better at it overtime as he becomes more responsible, buuuut...

Shakes you awake and tries to walk you to your room

Lightly scolds you but really I think hes more so beating himself up... just redirecting the blame.. again, jax is still trying to be more responsible with things.. not perfect yet, of course

GANGLE:

KINGER:

Keeps you at arms length AND in his sight at all times because 1. Hes a father and 2. Hes so so scared that something is going to happen to you, especially given your sleepy nature. Offers to let you snuggle into the soft fluff of his robe when you're feeling a little tired. You have probably fell asleep standing up while leaning into the fur. Very silly

This poor man nearly has a heart attack when he sees you asleep and in harm's way, but oddly enough I think it would make something "snap" in him and he immediately comes to your rescue. If he gets hit or struck by anything he just. Takes it and keeps going

Dad powers, I guess

Very determined to get to you probably doesnt let himself feel his feelings and panic until long after the events of the IHA are over, I think... starts fretting over you

ZOOBLE:

If you're their kid/sibling then they might just take you with them when they decide to skip a IHA, since zooble seems to not enjoy them in the pilot. So good news here, you're unlikely to be in any real danger when zooble is looking after you! When they're not doing a group thing and in the common area, they just stick to their room.... so they probably let you sleep in their bed!

Good ending here folks

Forgot to mention this in ragathas part but I think both her and gangle try to figure out why you're so sleepy, and perhaps try to find a solution aside from simply letting you sleep it off. I mean obviously neither of them would ban you from napping, buuuut

...well it's a digital body, could there really be any deeper stuff going on aside you just being tired?

Anyways

Her comedy mask literally pops off and breaks when she sees you just sleeping in the middle of the floor during all the chaos. Tries to get you out of harm way but it ends up in her also getting hurt, similar to pomni

[triptychofvoids]

Autistic medic gives me life ❤❤. Any random hcs for him? /nf /pos

of course! autistic medic is canon to me

ive already talked a bit about him being autistic before so a few of these maybe be things ive already mentioned but ill say them anyway

this is already obvious to everyone already but his special interests are surgery and medicine! anything medical really. hes also very interested in anatomy and pigeons (specifically pigeons. he probably couldnt tell you a lot about parrots for example, but if you want 100 facts about doves then hes your guy). and of course hed have a bunch of other hobbies and interests but those are the big ones

hes more prone to shutdown than he is to meltdown. not that meltdowns would never happen, theyre just more rare. usually a shutdown would come first and on the occasion hes pushed past that then a meltdown would follow, and after a meltdown then hed have a second even worse shutdown. thankfully situations like these are rare

like ive said (and drawn) before his main stims are rocking, hand flapping, echolalia, tensing up and hand wringing, and biting. a few other less obvious/not as common that he has are sparkly/flashy visual stims, he also loves both feeling and seeing anything gorey, he likes petting his birds, certain noises would be very pleasant to him like his doves cooing or coins clinking together and the sounds of the mediguns. hed love the smell of coffee and isopropyl. hed have a few others stims too but theyd be more rare and very situational like hitting himself or toe walking.

hes weird about his gloves and his coat. as in he would put them on for a specific reason but once he gets used to having them on he would absolutely hate taking them off. he has to keep them on for the rest of the day no matter what. and vice versa, if hes not wearing his gloves or coat then he cant just?? randomly put them on?? no no its all or nothing theyre either going on for combat and then staying on for the rest of the day or not at all

hes very excitable and loves to talk and if hes engaged in a conversation or excited about something then his voice will gradually get louder and louder and he'll keep interrupting or talking over people. he wont even notice it until someone points it out to him

you cant take him to the store because hes going to touch everything and then very quickly regret it when hes suddenly overcome with the overwhelming soul crushing need to wash his hands and theres no sink around. its so over :[

bad at left vs right and identifying north, south, east, and west. nothing else to say here, its not that he gets lost easily, he can find his way around just fine its just that hes awful at directions

very strict about his routines and lists. he cannot stand it if he makes plans and they get postponed or canceled. he hates it if he makes a list of things to get and then cant get everything on the list exactly correct. hes actually more than willing to do things on impulse in the moment but only if hes already mentally planned to do that or if it doesnt interfere with something else he has going on

hes very blunt and direct. he says exactly what hes thinking and answers questions very honestly and directly. people often find him to be rude for this but he doesnt get why. speaking of him being seen as rude, he used to get in trouble for always rolling his eyes or talking back to people because for the longest time he didnt realize that trying to stretch your eyes or avoid eye contact or staring could all somehow be considered 'rolling' your eyes. or rude. and talking back... isnt that how a conversation works? hes never been very good at knowing when he is or isnt supposed to reply to statements.

ive said it before but i will say it again. he has little to no empathy. every autistic person is different of course and not all autistics have low empathy, but im tired of low enpathy being seen as a bad trait. im tired of people with low empathy (autistic or otherwise) being seen as evil and uncaring. having low empathy doesnt make you a bad person. he has very low empathy and often struggles to connect with and understand others. he frequently will have the wrong emotion for the situation and may sometimes come off as uncaring when he is not as sad about something as they are, etc etc etc but he is not some horrible evil monster for it and i do not want to see anyone saying that because its just completely incorrect. hope this helps

anyway!!!! theres some autistic medic!!!! i hope you like him as much as i do!!!!

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

i'm on my aspd izaya bullshit again but like. thru this lens, isnt his arc a perfect encapsulation on how aspd negatively affects the person that has it? even to this day, many professionals do not believe that pwASPD suffer from aspd. like at all. to the point where aspd was specifically listed as an outlier to the "patient distress is what defines a disorder" rule in an abnormal psych textbook

(see why i don't respect the field?)

but... he does suffer! a lot! like- remember his speech to mikado at the end of the first arc? how you need to keep evolving, keep changing in order to escape the mundane? how you have to keep going and going and going, wether it be aiming high or low?

yeah. normal people don't need to do this, izaya. you are a broken person.

but why SHOULD he be content with the mundane? the things people usually have that make them content with daily life- friends, family, a purpose, a distinct lack of extreme chronic boredom that drives you to do completely insane shit- izaya doesn't HAVE any of that!

"wait, chronic boredom?" i hear yall thinking. maybe. "isnt that an adhd thing?"

more than one disorder can have the same symptom. theres like a billion that have "want to die" as a symptom. but i dont really blame you for not knowing, its not talked about much

studies have shown that aspd and adhd are both problems with the dopamine receptors in the brain. more specifically, adhd is a chronic deficiency of dopamine, whereas with aspd, when you DO get dopamine, your brain gives you quardruple the normal amount.

studies have ALSO shown there to be a sort of... adhd to aspd pipeline. the story goes like this: you have a kid with adhd. maybe they're born like that, maybe the symptoms developed from trauma (which can happen? apparently??) anyway. kid gets abused. kid develops conduct disorder as a result of that abuse, as a natural extension of the existing adhd symptoms. they're MORE impulsive, which leads to them hurting others- and if it sets off the dopamine receptors, an abused kid starving for happiness and power is gonna chase it, no matter what. theyre like, six, they dont know anything about like. morality. all they know is, theyre sad and this makes them happy. anyway kid never gets treated, abuse continues to exasperate the symptoms, and now you have an adult with aspd, AND the original adhd diagnosis! and ptsd, which is HIGHLY comorbid with aspd! and probably another personality disorder, because you're actually statistically more likely to have two of them!

anyway! that's ONE of the ways aspd can develop from trauma, which it is Known To Do.

does any of that sound pleasant to go through? at all?

let me ask you a question:

imagine you aren't getting dopamine. maybe it's your adhd. maybe you're depressed. either way, you try to get it any way you can. wether it's throwing yourself into a hobby or a job, so the sense of satisfaction gives you dopamine, or something like drugs or gambling.

now, imagine that "rush" you felt. was Four Times Stronger.

wouldnt that compel you to do increasingly dangerous and risky shit, just to feel okay? imagine if you had no friends. imagine if this was your only way to be happy. wouldnt you, eventually, stop caring about others and only care about yourself? after all, other people have thinga like friends and a family that you don't have. they have a fallback. you only have this.

and you might say, "i'd never do that!" but every addict says that, and most eventually cross that line out of sheer desperation. and this? effectively makes you into a dopamine addict. which is dangerous! you can't just STOP... gettng dopamine....! it's necessary! but you have no help so you keep doing what youre doing. (and how could you get help? its baked into the system that people like you don't suffer. why try if youll just get burned?

anyway, back to izaya.

he's lonely. he has one friend and he sucks. he feels compelled to do these things even though he KNOWS it'll hurt him.

i stole this screenshot from some1 who insulted my friend once for something stupid <3 die

but it illustrates my point very well! does it look like he has much control over things?? he sure like to ACT like he does, but at the end of the day, he doesn't, really. he ends up spiraling more and more, doing increasingly risky and rash things, just to get his end goal... which is to die and ascend to the afterlife. a lofty goal.

aiming high, isn't he? a final, spectacular evolution.

or, it should have been.

but it wasn't.

izaya's impulses and deep desire to continue becoming more and more drastic, coupled with his lack of personal ties to anyone that could keep him from doing so....

it didn't make him ascend. it left him in a wheelchair, with chronic pain that will last his whole life.

THAT is where mental illness takes you. it doesn't make you a hollywood psychopath, reveling in the destruction you chose, of your own free will, wholly and truly, to cause. it makes you want More. no matter what, you need More. you see people content with lives worse than yours, everyone bound together with some sort of invisible thread, some sort of tie that keeps them together. a thread that missed you. your brain refuses to see people as people, thus you remain lonely forever, unsatiafied wirh company other than the superficial, because it's fun. that's all you're allowed to care about. an endless cycle of bigger and bigger actions, impulses slowly getting worse--

--and the worst part is, it tricks you into believing you ever had a choice. it tricks everyone into believing you had a choice. your suffering is worse than disregarded, to all the people you look at from your apartment, all the people you wish you could have been like.

it's nonexistant.

[trickstarbrave]

hey i wrote more

modern au is BACK. nerevar and voryn are also back together !!!

i havent proofread it tho bc im miserable and tired sorry if theres weird typos. i wrote most of this on my phone

Nerevar was once again sitting on the couch, now anxiously waiting. He kind of felt sick if he was being honest, nauseated at the idea of confronting Voryn. 

Voryn was going to be mad at him, right? Nerevar would have been angry in his shoes. Sure, Nerevar was told to leave by Voryn’s brothers, but they didn’t force him to. They could have threatened Nerevar or used violence, or even just harassed him into leaving. Instead they just told him to leave, saying it was for Voryn’s future. Hell, maybe the three of them genuinely believed Voryn would have been disowned or disinherited if he had a baby at 18--it wasn’t implausible. Nerevar also believed the same thing. But Nerevar was the one who went along with it. He could have called Voryn at any time telling him his brothers were distracting him intentionally. He could have told Voryn over the phone he was pregnant. He could have told the truth. But Nerevar ran away like a coward because it was easier than sticking around for years and years, giving Voryn the chance to leave him. 

Voryn had every right to be furious with Nerevar, telling him he was horrible for keeping this secret from him. Voryn had every right to demand answers for what Nerevar was thinking by going along with his brothers’ plan and not telling him anything. Voryn had every right to demand an apology, and there wasn’t much Nerevar could do to make up for any hurt he caused him. 

He heard the sound of the door opening and on impulse stood up. It was annoying to stand up this far along, but he was already doing so without really thinking about it. Maybe it was actually an instinct to run away, but there wasn’t anywhere else he could really run to. 

Next came the sound of footsteps, and before he had a chance to fully prepare himself, there was someone familiar in the living room with him.

Voryn’s hair looked bad. It was the first thing Nerevar noticed, trying to avoid his eyes initially. It looked frizzy and kinda dry, as opposed to shiny and sleek as it usually was. His clothes were also wrinkled and kind of frumpy, something Voryn would normally do everything to avoid. Even when he would wear just a t-shirt and slacks, he made sure they matched, were wrinkle free, and always fit properly. 

Finally, Nerevar met his eyes, and instead of finding anger, all he saw was a mix of emotions that made Nerevar feel like all of the wind had been knocked out of him. 

Nerevar would have preferred he be angry. He didn’t like Voryn being angry at him, but this seemed even more painful. Instead, Voryn looked at Nerevar with a heartbreaking mixture of sadness and relief, his hands reaching out hesitantly, unsure if he was allowed to touch Nerevar. Under his eyes were dark circles, his brows ungroomed, and his beard scruffy and a bit unkempt. Nerevar felt his own tears welling up, his heart lurching, and equally hesitantly opened his arms as though asking for a hug. 

“Neht,” Voryn whispered, stepping forward quickly to wrap his arms around him. They couldn’t hug properly, not with Nerevar’s stomach being as big as it was. Instead it had to be an awkward, partially to the side hug rather than chest to chest. Still though, it felt like a sweet relief, the familiar warm of Voryn in his arms and the scent of his cologne faintly clinging to his clothes, the tears in Nerevar’s eyes quickly starting to fall. “Thank god you’re safe.” Voryn continued, pressing a kiss to his messy hair. “I was so worried about you…” 

“I’m sorry,” Nerevar’s voice broke in a sob. He hadn’t intended to cry and babble apologies like this. He intended to just sit down and talk about it, let Voryn yell at him if he wanted to, and try to work something out. But having Voryn holding him like this was too much. “I’m so sorry, Voryn,” The feeling he had when he sent that text came washing over him all over again, that much stronger. All of the guilt he’d shoved aside, all of the pain and loneliness he felt after leaving, everything was catching up to him. 

“Shh,” Voryn hushed him, “Everything’s alright now, you’re safe and that’s what matters.” Voryn then gently prodded Nerevar to sit on the couch, helping him down, not letting go of him for a moment. 

“You should be mad at me.” Nerevar knew he was making a mess of Voryn’s hoodie with how much he was crying. It would be covered in snot and tears and spit. But he didn’t want to pull away yet, not when it felt nice being held. Instead he’d rather Voryn start scolding him first. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” Voryn asked him incredulously, stroking his hair. “Neht, you did nothing wrong.” 

“I left…” He continued mumbling into Voryn’s hoodie. 

“My brothers lied to you. They misled you and told you to leave.” Voryn pulled Nerevar away just long enough to start wiping his face, but still didn’t let him go. “You thought you were doing the right thing, for both me and our baby.” Nerevar’s heart skipped a beat as Voryn said their baby. Not just Nerevar’s baby, but Voryn’s too. “I know you wouldn’t want to leave on your own. I know that you wanted to tell me.” Nerevar chewed on his lower lip in guilt. 

He had wanted to leave. He was convinced that Voryn was just going to leave him anyway. He only wanted to tell Voryn because it felt wrong to hide it from him, but he was already thinking about what a horrible life their son would have if Nerevar stayed. 

“I did want to leave though.” Nerevar admitted. Honestly, maybe at this point he wanted Voryn to be angry with him. Part of him was coming clean just so Voryn could see him as the person he was, and stop acting so kind and caring. To either realize Nerevar was right or be so insulted he didn’t want him back anymore. “I thought you might just--that you would get sick of me and want to leave eventually. I could handle that myself but I wouldn’t know how to explain that to a kid--” 

“You thought I’d leave you?” Voryn’s voice broke. “Nerevar,” Nerevar couldn’t look at him again, instead closing his eyes since he didn’t feel it was appropriate to bury his face into Voryn’s chest again. “Why on earth would I leave you?”

“Because I’m… I’m lower class than you.” Nerevar hiccupped even though he found the fact obnoxious. He was trying to will his tears away and failing. “Eventually you’d get sick of the fact I was embarrassing to be around and you’d want someone your family doesn’t hate--”

“Nerevar, I’m not so shallow that I’d do that.” Voryn was still stroking his face, trying to get Nerevar to look at him again. “If I was, why would I date you in the first place?” 

“Because I seemed interesting to mess around with.” Nerevar couldn’t really place why Voryn would either, just that he caught Voryn’s eye. “Or maybe you just think I’m hot.” That was also a possibility. Nerevar didn’t think he looked bad; in fact he thought of himself as quite good looking (or rather he used to, dysphoria was kicking his ass at the moment). Wasn’t that why most people their age dated anyways? “But that you’d realize as you got older you’d need something more…”

“Why did you date me?” Voryn’s question was unexpected. Nerevar thought he might fight it or dismiss his concerns, childishly having not even thought about it and assume Nerevar was simply thinking about it too hard. 

“Because you’re…” Nerevar finally looked at him, his hands clinging to Voryn. “Because you’re beautiful and smart and… Confident and strong willed…” The tears started coming even faster as he felt the love he’s always had for Voryn washing over him. “You’re also so kind to me, always know what to do to make me feel better, always make me feel…” He couldn’t continue the sentence, he was sobbing too hard now. Part of him wanted to cling to this, to beg Voryn not to leave him, that Voryn was one of the best things that had ever happened to him, but he also felt like he would be a terrible person for holding Voryn back. 

“Shh…” Voryn hushed him again, rubbing his back and pulling him back into a hug. Nerevar again felt guilty about crying like a child and ruining Voryn’s hoodie further, but he also didn’t have it in him to pull away and he couldn’t make the tears stop. “Nerevar, I wasn’t just dating you because I liked the way you looked. I love you.” Nerevar choked on a sob, digging his nails into the fabric even further. “I love the fact you’re confident and intelligent, the way you always manage to come up with a plan and never want to give up. The way you can convince just about anyone of anything you want, and how much you love protecting the people close to you.” 

Nerevar didn’t know how much he wanted to hear that. He still couldn’t believe it, but it sounded so sweet in that tone of voice, sugary and syrupy and tender like it was the most heartfelt love confession in existence. Maybe he just wanted to believe it, as illogical as it was. 

“I love you,” Nerevar mumbled into his hoodie. “I love you so much, Voryn…” He hiccuped again, before he felt a painful kick in his stomach, wincing. 

“What is it?” Voryn said softly, pulling away just enough to look down at him, while Nerevar rubbed his stomach. Another kick followed, and then with it pressure on his hips that made pain shoot down his right leg. He hissed, trying to shift to a more comfortable position. Voryn was at his side, hushing him, helping him lean back against the couch, before rubbing his stomach too. “Is that better?” 

“Yeah,” Nerevar mumbled into Voryn’s shoulder where he was now resting his head, the pain in his leg going away and the kicking slowing. “He--he really hates it when I’m crying.” 

“It’s a boy?” Voryn asked, a sort of wonder in his voice Nerevar knew very well. It was one thing to know about the pregnancy, but the more you knew about the baby and how they were developing, the more ‘real’ it became. 

“Yeah,” Nerevar couldn’t help but smile, warmth flooding him now as the tears began slowing. “The doctor said he’s able to hear things outside my body now too.” It was something almost magical to know, though a bit weird to think about how he could hear his stomach growling and heart beating before that (or still could, really). 

“Have you thought of a name?” Voryn asked, his voice soft, even more tender than before.

“I haven’t been able to think of one, no.” He snorted. “My mom said to just wait as she didn’t know what to name me until after I was born… But I also just kind of suck at naming things.” 

“I could…” Voryn began, his expression somewhere between hopeful and worried that Nerevar would refuse, “I could help you pick out names if you’d like, Neht.” Nerevar snorted, before laughing happily. 

“I’d like that.” He wanted Voryn to be a part of this, if possible. Part of him was still reluctant, anxious that Voryn would leave him eventually, but he was trying to force that down. He loved Voryn more than anything, and part of loving someone meant trusting them. His mom was right in that Voryn hadn’t done anything to break his trust, and Nerevar wanted Voryn at his side. He was prepared to do this with just his mom supporting him, but he wanted Voryn there helping him, supporting him, loving him. Even if Voryn might change his mind later, he wanted to believe they’d work something out. Voryn wouldn’t just leave him and their son coldly and callously, saying he didn’t care about either of them anymore, and if he did there would be hell to pay for it.

At his answer, Voryn looked overjoyed, warmth in his eyes. “Do you mind if I… Talked to him a bit?” 

Nerevar snorted again. “Go for it.” It would certainly be cute, right?

Voryn then kneeled down in front of the couch, pressing a soft kiss to Nerevar’s stomach. “Hi little one,” Voryn never had a more tender expression on his face than he did at that moment. “I already can’t wait to meet you.” He leaned in to press another soft, gentle kiss, and Nerevar felt a slight kick. “I love you so much. I can’t wait to hold you, sing to you…”

“A lot of it is going to be him crying and making a mess.” Nerevar reminded him, but mostly that was just to cover up the fact his eyes were already watering again. He wasn’t normally this much of a sap who cried this much, but he’d blame it on pregnancy hormones. 

“I’m sure I’ll be miserable alongside you, Neht,” Voryn looked up at him, still smiling so warmly it got Nerevar’s heart racing, “But I’ll still love our son dearly and treasure all the special moments we’ll have with him.”

He sat up on the couch once more, taking Nerevar’s hand. “Please,” He pleaded, now desperate, “Please let me do this with you, Neht. Please come back with me.” Seeing Voryn like this once again left Nerevar feeling like all the wind had been knocked out of him. “I want to get a place for us and our baby. I want to help you through this. I want to be there for you and our son.”

“I…” Nerevar knew this was a possibility, but he was still hesitant. Not because he didn’t want to trust Voryn, but instead because he had done so much to set up here. It wasn’t fair to ask Voryn to live in his mom’s house, but Nerevar leaving would mean packing up the nursery, getting a new doctor, not to mention traveling while pregnant and reworking his birth plan. Still, he didn’t want Voryn to leave him again either.

Seeing him hesitate, Voryn continued. “I think it would be good, Neht.” Voryn explained. “You’re used to the city more, you’ll have your friends close by… We can get whatever kind of place you want, move everything you’ve got for the baby in… We can even have a nanny help out a little after you’ve given birth so you're not exhausted.”

Nerevar didn’t like the last part. While he was missing his friends, along with pregnancy cravings for many restaurants back home, he didn’t like the idea of a stranger handling his baby. “Moving all of the nursery stuff seems like such a pain,” Nerevar groaned, “And I don’t think a nanny would be a good idea.”

“It is,” His mom chimed in, entering with Voryn’s mom. Nerevar jumped at that, forgetting the other two were also there. It seemed they were giving them some privacy to make up, but came in to check in on or speak with them. “You have no idea how miserable it is with a newborn.” His mother looked tired just saying that. “Even though I had your father, we were both miserable. The house was a mess, we were barely getting sleep, had no time to do laundry, and god forbid you heard the dryer go off if we did have time to do laundry, because then it would wake you up and you’d scream your little head off.” Nerevar glanced away; it wasn’t his fault, but he felt guilty putting his parents through that. 

“You’ll want help. Trust me. And if you have the chance to get help so you can have time to sleep and eat and shower without feeling like a zombie or being on edge, you should take it.” She sat on one of the chairs in the living room. “It’s better to look for one now while your head’s clear.”

“I thought you were going to help?”

“I can come too and help.” She shrugged. “I doubt you’ll want your mom staying with you long term, but I’m still not a professional.” 

“Besides,” Morvani began, “I assume you’ll want to go to college, right? It would be good to have the boy accustomed to a nanny from a young age. It’ll be harder on him if he has to adjust to someone new, and it’ll only make you anxious when you’re in classes. It’s best to find a good one ahead of time and all three of you adjust to them.” 

It was a good argument. He should get a feel for the nanny before he started college, that way he knew if he could trust them with his son while he was out of the house for longer periods of time for classes. He didn’t plan to go to college until the fall semester since he wouldn’t have enough time to recover properly for spring. A little over half a year would be plenty of time to adjust and see for himself if they were trustworthy. 

“… Alright.” Nerevar sighed. “I guess I’ll have to pack everything up.” Nerevar felt anxious about this, but normally Voryn was more anxious than him. If Voryn seemed alright with it, it probably would be.

[found-wings]

silly idea- phil trying to perch on etoiles for the first time (as a suprise LMAO man is not expecting it at All) and etoiles loses balance a little bit, so ofc phil does too and he jumps off before the two actually fall over (even though theres a big chance they wouldnt). while phils laughing it off, etoiles is too but yknow that man is taking this shit to Heart and sees it as a Challange. for not being able to be a proper perch for his friend is something that like really doesnt matter much at All but to him?? this is the biggest loss he's ever taken 😭😭. "oh but what about the code-" BIGGEST LOSS ‼️‼️‼️‼️ - 💿

Snatching this silly idea and making it a silly lil writing indeed because YEEEEAH SILLIES

I love this so much because of Phils "eh I‘ll get it next time lol" vs. Etoiles‘ "D:" JAJAJA I love these two sillies so much and I hope this writing is silly enough LWBDB

Writing under the cut <3

Phil hums as he gazes through his spyglass, eyes settling on the nearby figure.

He stays sitting like this for a little bit and simply watches Etoiles try around with his weapons, potions and a couple of other things he seems to have picked up. Once Phil knows enough about Etoiles current movement pattern he puts away his spyglass and opens up his wings.

His hands clutch the glider for a brief moment in a tight fist, loosening his grip shortly after with a smirk now dancing on his lips.

Phil takes a step back and without a second thought leaps off of where he was perching in the first place. The glider catches wind pretty fast and he uses his wings to properly get himself into position, eyes watching the oblivious Etoiles below him. He tries to lose a bit of his height so he wouldn‘t absolutely ram Etoiles into the ground from the sheer force he could build up like this - Techno could handle it, but he was much more physically stronger considering his origins. And that was not even counting the potential injuries he could get himself, too.

So current goal: get close enough to try and perch, but not too close for Etoiles to notice.

He feels quite happy that luck seems to be on his side today, as Etoiles is still too distracted by his own weapon shenanigans to actually notice him slowly gliding closer.

Once close enough for Phils liking, he switches out his glider and with the smallest help of his tattered wings lets himself fall towards Etoiles.

Just as Etoiles goes in for a swing with his scythe, Phil lands right on his shoulder, almost clawing into it with a giggle.

Etoiles surprisingly doesn‘t flinch, or if he does then it‘s not noticeable. The only thing he does do that shows any surprise from his side is the split second where he almost stumbles, now having to adjust to a new weight as his weapon cuts through the air.

As soon as the weapon comes to an halt though, Phil notices the few steps Etoiles takes to steady himself from leaning to fall over - so with a quick push, he jumps off from Etoiles.

"Why did you do that?!" Comes from Etoiles almost immediately, tone of voice making it clear he was upset.

Phil can‘t help the way he freezes up. He didn‘t think Etoiles would be mad at him for this, they‘ve done little surprises before - maybe he should‘ve asked first and not done it based on his own impulsive thought.

Maybe he‘s right in being upset-

"I was so close! I had it, you didn‘t have to jump off from me!" Oh.

Oh, Etoiles isn‘t upset at him, at this.

He‘s upset at Phil not having been able to perch and jumping off instead. Well that’s relieving, at least.

"Saw you leaning too much in a direction, didn‘t want to have you trip," he hums with a smile, shrugging. "I‘ll get it next time."

Etoiles however stares at him for a moment as if he was a puppy that was just kicked. "I can‘t even be a proper perch, how am I going to live knowing this?"

Phil snorts.

"Mate, it‘s fine," Phil tries to reason, patting Etoiles‘ shoulder and nudging him.

Etoiles however simply sighs, shaking his head and putting away his weapon. "A shame, I am."

"Alright, shut it." Phil chuckles, going quiet for a couple of seconds before offering his dramatic friend a little mischievous smile. "You really wanna try this?"

There‘s a moment of silence, Etoiles blinking a few times before grinning. "Oh you bet. Right now?"

Phil nods. "Yeah, right now. Just do this, yeah?" He proceeds to help Etoiles properly weave his hands together, holding them a little low with a slightly kneeling position.

Etoiles watches curiously, tilting his head. "What do I do now?"

"Just stay there like that." Phil takes a couple of steps back as he tells Etoiles to stay and now Etoiles gets what Phil is trying to do, eyes watching him with a little spark of excitement.

It doesn‘t take long before Phil starts his small sprint, rather quick and light on his feet that carry him. Once close enough he takes one jump, one of his feet pressing onto Etoiles intertwined hands that boost him upwards.

Etoiles finds himself pleasantly startled at how light Phil just is, easily being able to boost him up into the air and position himself just right for Phil to land on his shoulders. There‘s a couple of wobbles as they get used to the weight combined, eventually having Phil slowly turn around so they look the same way.

"You‘re much lighter than I expected," Etoiles finally comments. He grabs his backpack again, intending on continuing with his previous plans.

Phil simply just chuckles, getting comfortable. "Avian. We‘re pretty light, hollow bones or something," Phil hums in response, contently watching his friend go about his own things.

Etoiles stops his movement for a brief second. "Hollow bones? Do you think the codes have hollow bones from how easily I beat them?"

Phil laughs, giving Etoiles a little whack with one of his tattered wings.

[cleromancy]

Something has been bugging me recently. Do you ever notice how people (particularly Jason stans) go on about how Tim victim blame's Jason for his own death, but fail to mention how Alfred and Bruce are guilty of doing the same thing in the past? Why do these two (especially Alfred) get a pass?

LMAO LIKE... EVERYONES DONE IT. BRUCE ALFRED DICK BABS *SELINA* OF ALL PEOPLE ONE TIME... actually id have to double check that one idr exactly what she said about jason it might have just been that hes unhinged (<- also a thing everyones said at some point) but like. everyones freakin done it. or at least *implied* it.

tim is a special case for a reason though--and ill come back to bruce and alfred later--and its not just bc fandom wants a scapegoat to pin All The Victim-Blaming on. on a meta level tim was specifically created to be jasons opposite, and to ~rehabilitate the robin role and make robin palatable again to modern readers. (and to be clear this wasnt bc readers didn't like jason specifically--it was the idea of robin at all, and to a lesser extent just replacing the orig. jason just took on the mantle at a really unfortunate period in comics culture.) so the comparisons to jason are baked in right off the bat. and tim has to be "better". tim had to prove that a robin was necessary so that dc could keep having one, he had to justify it so that the blame didnt fall on bruce for getting a child killed (or yk even just out there fighting crime at all). theres also an element of class dynamics thats. i mean. jason was a homeless street kid and tims this fancy little distinctly upper middle class kid who replaces him, without derailing to get too deep into that the optics already arent fucking great.

but tims creation aside, just as far as how often it comes up... tim also takes the role of robin really seriously, and its everything to him, so he spends a lot of time thinking about it, what it means to wear the uniform & fulfil the role. so hes the one whos most frequently in the position to be thinking about jason, after bruce. so tim winds up being the one pushing the bulk of the bad/angry/impulsive robin narrative retcon dc wanted to push bc... its the most directly relevant to him. bruce doesnt have much narrative need to think about jason "failing" or not being good enough until under the red hood... except to be like "i dont have to worry about tim bc hes not like jason." lmao. and then you have tim who does not want to get killed, like jason did, so he spends time thinking about how to not end up like jason. which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how being a victim of murder works but i think understandable thing for a child replacement of another dead child to latch onto (particularly one as prone to arrogance & god-complex-itude as Our Timmy, lol). and both on a meta level and in-universe this is about shifting the blame off of bruce and onto the victim because tim needs to keep filling the role hes filling without it being bruces fault that jason died in the first place, bc reckoning with batman and child endangerment is not smth the comics had ever really planned on doing in a serious way.

but as for why singling tim out over bruce and alfred-- the kind of ppl who do this already generally think bruce sucks past the point of being interested in ~holding him accountable~ for absolutely anything... like "bruce sucks, everyone knows he sucks, enough said." i think the logic is generally like "if tims not a total shithead like bruce, then why is he doing shithead stuff like bruce does :/" and then pinning it all on tim as opposed to considering like "hey uhhh do you think maybe hearing stories about jason from bruce influences how tim thinks of jason over the years." if that makes sense

as for alfred. people do not want alfred to have any interiority or to ever have been mean or wrong bc then theyd have to actually think about the fact that bruce has a 24/7 domestic servant in his employ, which is just the. tip of the iceberg when you start thinking about alfred as a full character and not a convenient cardboard cutout to prop up whoever the narrative needs him to. also alfreds role in almost every batman narrative is strictly as support, almost no agency within the story to have a meaningful impact, and people generally respond to the character in kind.

finally i think tim mmmmight be the only character at least as of the reboot who ever talked *to jason* outloud style about certain things relating to jasons death... this answer is already getting too long so i dont want to get into depth about titans tower. but tt 2003 #29 is a great example of the comics pitting tim and jason against each other to make Jason look worse by comparison--for all that tim doesn't actually *say* anything victim blaming jason for his death, *and* for all that jason totally kicks tims ass in the fight and its not even close, on a meta level the story is 100% presenting jason as the bad robin, the robin who failed, Unlike Tim Drake, A *Good* Robin. (i accidentally reread the issue ... im going to make a post about it later probably. god i wish this fucking issue had been good)

but yeah i could probably go on and on even further but yeah, i think thats where people are coming from when they single timmy out. tim only exists at all bc of jason n would be fundamentally unrecognizable without having been crafted to be the anti-jason. and on top of that he has repeatedly been used by dc to make jason look worse (or rather jason was used to make tim look better), and a lot of my fellow jason stans understandably resent tim for it. i however am built different, and want them to kiss.

[joosiewiththeboof]

Louie Szczur lore dump because 🐀

Jeffy unknowingly emotionally manipulated louie into being overly empathetic. Jeffy makes plenty of mistakes, he knows they are mistakes but doesnt want to seem like an incompetent father or person. So he tells His son that his mistakes are justified because he was tired/late/busy (he does thi every time) Louie growing up with a shitty dad constantly making excuses about why all his bad choices are justified made louie learn to feel that all bad choices must have some kind of underlying cause and arent just from carelessness. Louie forgives people for every mistake and thinks that hating people is bad and its an emotion that shouldnt be felt. He shouldn't judge people, and nobody is evil. theres always a justified reason for someones actions.

Jeffy is impulsive and a pretty shitty dad. where does he work idk idk where he works he just leaves louie home with his older sister, Connie, who is a loving sister but she's pretty foolish and prone to getting into trouble, louie forgives her for that, thats what he always does. Connie brings louie everywhere because her father demands that she look after louie and she a daddys girl. And also because, she genuinely really likes her little brother.

she got the other end of the spectrum where her fathers ignorance made her believe that doing bad things is okay. Louie feels responsible for Connie even though shes supposed to be looking after him. So, toxic relationship, but louie tells himself to be grateful for relationships no matter how toxic they are. which is not mindful or demure

In all of connies relationships with her friends and in ever argument they get into louie forces himself to be a mediator. He's a pretty good mediator but having a teenagers relationship drama lean on your little brother isnt healthy for the little guy, i mean YOU"RE supposed to be looking after HIM connie! Connie likes her little brother but she thinks he needs to get out of his own skin and live a little! because he's always so selfless to the extent where its really unhealthy for him. She notices this and She tries to get louie to realize its okay be rough. but shes not that good at setting the point straight. Lou doesnt reallly pickup on it, maybe eventually he'd learn to stand up for himsef and his emotions if if wasnt for a certain someone!!!

one of connies' friends (who could it be??) is a girl with a lemonade "empire" thats been going on for four whole years now. (you know her you love her)

Vicky knows louie as a naive little boy who is easily roped up into trouble, and can be VERY easily manipulated. She barely needs to ask him if he'd help her with her lemonade making before he's just like Okay!! I'd love to help!! IT sounds fun!! and then she leads the poor unsuspecting boy to his doom.